#alright tell me if the italics are fucked up bc tumblr sucks

[existencebringsonlypain]

Wrote a fic. it's about kris realizing they're enby and subsequently coming out to the Holiday sisters and Azzy. naturally, they do not know they're enby beforehand, so there will be misgendering and their name will be spelled differently, but their internal monologue still uses they/them, so don't worry too much.

fuckin,,, enjoy ig

oh also it's on ao3. I made a whole ass custom work skin for it, so now if you don't like the deadnames you can just turn them off

Chris reached up to adjust their horns, having knocked them on a tree limb on accident. They were beginning to regret taking a walk with Azzy and their Holiday friends, they'd had to finangle with their accessories constantly, even unhook their shirt a handful of times.

"Eeek! My skirt!"

They were faring better than Noelle, though. Maybe it just came with having long, flowy clothing, but she just about managed to get tangled up in every stray branch imaginable.

"Shoot, and that one's brand new, too," Dess lamented, feeling the newly-torn hole in the skirt area of Noelle's outfit. "That's what you get when you ask for a long dress despite knowing you trek around in the forest all day."

Noelle whined. "But I liiiike this one!! Long skirts feel nice and I don't have to worry about being immodest around Mom!"

"Oooo, does it spin?" Chris leaned in with a grin. Hehe, that rhymed.

Noelle giggled, twirling in place once they reached their clearing. The skirt billowed outwards, and she squeaked as she stumbled on her hoof from the spinning. Dess caught her in time, fortunately, but Noelle was still laughing dizzily in her arms.

Chris flapped their hands with fervor, enraptured. "That's so cool!! Why don't I have any skirts, Azzy?"

Azzy frowned down at them. "Well, for one, you'll trip like Noelle just did, no doubt. But also, skirts are girl clothes, and you're not a girl."

Dess elbowed him. "Hey, he can wear whatever he wants! Just 'cuz skirts aren't really guy clothes doesn't mean he can't wear 'em."

"Well, yeah," Azzy argued, "but it'd be kind of weird, yeah? He's little, I don't think he really knows what boyhood entails."

"Well, Noelle knew, and she's only a year or so older than him. Most trans kids'll know something's up at that age."

"But Chris isn't trans!"

"You don't know that!"

Both Chris and Noelle looked up at the bickering teens with wide eyes. After a moment, Chris leaned over. "What are they talking about?"

"Oh, uh. I guess you didn't know me then, did you, faha. You know how I have antlers right now even though Dess doesn't?" After a nod from Chris, Noelle kept going. "That's because I wasn't born a girl. When I was younger, people thought I was a boy, like you, but it felt wrong, and when I told people, they started talking like I was a girl, and that felt much better. So I'm a girl now!"

Chris blinked. "Huh? Did they just get it wrong at first, or...?"

Noelle shook her head. "No, they got it right. It's just... Hm. Okay. I know what you look like, but mentally, in your SOUL or whatever, you just... you FEEL like a boy, right?"

Chris just stared at her for a substantial amount of time. "No? Isn't it just my genitals?"

Jumping, Noelle blushed furiously and covered their mouth. Chris pouted under her fingers, giving her the most wet cat expression they could muster, but she shook her head again. "Shhhhhh!! Don't say that so loud!" she whispered loudly. "That's inappropriate! But no, there's a mental part too. If you were in a body with... The other... parts, would you feel weird about it?"

"Nnnooooooo??" They tilted their head at her. "Not any weirder than it normally is."

She paused. "Huh?"

"I don't know, I just kinda wish I didn't have any of that. It's weird, people put me in all these weird boxes. I don't like it, I'm just a person."

Noelle looked down, thinking, before turning to Dess and tugging her arm to get her attention. "Dess? What's it called when you don't wanna have a gender?"

The argument between the teenagers was put on hold for a moment as Dess glanced at her. "Don't wanna...? Well, anyone can not want their gender, mostly because of how people think of said gender, but people who don't have a gender at all are nonbinary. Or, agender, but that's just a kind of nonbinary. Why?"

Chris craned their head to look at her before pointing at themself. Noelle followed suit, pointing at them too. Their neck hurt from looking up. Everything hurt all the time, it was annoying.

"You're saying that describes you?" Asriel piped in. Chris nodded at him.

After a moment of silence, Dess spasmed and whirled toward Azzy, pointing. "I KNEW it! I TOLD you! HA!!! TWENTY BUCKS!"

"Titan damn it- You sure you're getting this right? Would you want us to use neutral pronouns for you? Do you want to be a they?"

"I don't really... What?"

"I don't wanna give Dess twenty dollars."

Chris looked over at Dess, who was still celebrating with herself, and grinned. "Then yes."

"TITAN DAMN IT." Azzy fished out his wallet, sifted through it for a moment, then slapped down a twenty into Dess' waiting hand with a sigh. She cheered, making Chris giggle. "Don't tell me we're changing your name, too, you liked this one."

"No promises," they jeered. To be honest, they didn't really care all that much. But they're glad they they could be out of the obligation that was "boyhood", that was nice. And maybe they'd always thought of themself with the neutral words that they use for people they don't know. And maybe they wanted to mix things up with their name a little, too.

But it's just one more weird thing about them, and they're a weird person. And they like that, they think. Noelle was weird, even weirder than they realized, and Dess and Azzy were weird too. And they were pretty cool, so maybe Chris was too. They could get behind that.

"This is my friend, Chris Dreemurr. They're nonbinary, and they like chocolate. My little sister is good friends with them. Oh my god, I get to call you an enby, that's adorable. This is the best. Your queer is infectious, Azzy, they're not even related to you and they're enby. This is the best."

They smiled. This felt right. In a multitude of wrong-ness that surrounded them, covering their skin instead of fur, this was the one thing that felt correct.

Maybe they could be Kris Dreemurr this time.