#alright hope all my beloved mutuals had/have a good new years!!!!

[classicjdog]

hey happy new year

[dreamingbluestonight]

I just realised that " we made it " by Louis Tomlinson fits RBRW so perfectly like-

'Cause we made it, underestimated and always underrated Now, we're saying goodbye, waving to the hard times Yeah, it's gonna be alright'

-Literally, alex and henry made it in the end. They were constantly stopped by the hurdles of their position and responsibilities to their respective countries. At the end of the book both of them had what they have dreamed of, for henry it was his freedom, his dignity and the life he thought he never would have and for Alex, he has henry, his position in his mother's campaign.

' like the first time, Met you at your doorstep, remember how it tasted Looking into your eyes, baby, you were still high Never coming down with your hand in mine'

-I don't think I have to explain what our beloved gays have done after the state dinner. Primarily I would like to highlight the new year's kiss and how the rest of the scenario there has unraveled .

'Oh my, I remember those nights Meet you at your uni, cheap drinks, drink 'em all night Staying out 'til sunrise Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about Things we'd never say to someone else out loud We were only kids, just tryna work it out Wonder what they'd think if they could see us now'

-I imagine this as the time Henry visited alex in texas during Campaign period and how they had such a good time, learning more about each other. We definitely cannot forget the e-mails and the texts that they shared , how intimate and private those are for each of them. They weren't really kids but they still were in this beginning stages and middle stages of their relationship. They still don't understand what they truly want but are reaching a point of mutual commitment (I know Henry was head over heels in love but just bare with me luvs).

'Oh God, what I could've become Don't know why they put this all on us when we're so young Done a pretty good job, dealing with it all when you're here Don't need to say no more Nothing in the world that I would change it for Singing something pop'y on the same four chords Used to worry 'bout it, but I don't no more'

-They way they were forced out of the closet and put under scrutiny for being themselves. They were put on every single piece of media as a piece of meat. Before they are the FSOTUS and The Prince of Wales they are human, they are young teenager utterly in love , they didn't commit a crime nor made a sin. All they did was love each other. Alex took upon the leak as an opportunity to tell people, fucking educate them about the importance of coming out of the closet on their own terms. No one should be neither forced out or pushed back in. As per Henry, he finally stood up to his family, he chose to be with Alex because he loves Alex and he will always love him. They both done a pretty good job dealing with all the press, their families and basically the entire world.

I really want to pinpoint the lines in the end toward Henry because he just accepted his fate that he would be married off to a beard and be a spare he was supposed to be. He didn't dare to change that perfect prince look before he realised he actually had a chance to be himself. But when he was with Alex he dared to hope for a life he felt he deserved. Finally he did get the life he dreamt of, he doesn't need to worry about anything no more.

[dgdraws]

Back with my full year end reflection :)

You wouldn't know by looking at this but I got snatched up in the grips of writing during the early months of this year. There was only one other choice for January! But I was determined to do Funguary again and made myself notes and a plan and actually stuck to it whilst churning out a good deal of writing. Wasn't planning on doing mARTch but it's so aligned with my art ethos I couldn't NOT do it, which turned out to be a great decision as I ended up focuing on Ziri and Talia and getting way deeper into their development.

April was back to writing a lot and making a lineup of the dnd party from the last game I played with my ttrpg group. They are a HUGE source of my inspiration for getting into all of this, in fact I took the plunge because I kept having great ideas for illustrations of scenes from our current game (vtm; #low kings) and I had to decide to either a) find someone to commission or b) learn to do it myself. And, well, my heart wanted option b more than I'd been willing to admit. Anywaaayyy, I made that lineup as a tribute to them and the two years we spent with those characters.

In May I actually started prep for Artfight, if you can believe it. Wanted at least a few Proper Refsheets, especially for the new ocs. Also this portrait at Ncuti Gatwa that still takes my breath away. June, more artfight prep, also a bunch of writing because my brain loooooves to jump tracks when I'm under pressure, even pressure I put on myself. If you've ever wondered why I seem so breezy, know it's because my nervous system is a feral cat my thinking brain is trying to tempt into a carrier. Less is more.

July!! Artfight!! Best month of the year :) I completed 20 works with 24 different ocs for 22 different artists, many of whom have become beloved mutuals! It's an honor to fight amongst you all for the love of art and ocs and our fellow artists. Also the month I started switching over to CSP anddd by the start of August I overclocked my touchscreen laptop to death and made the leap to a sturdier machine with a wacom tablet. Hello learning curve!!!

Okay okay then I caught Malevolent brainrot so hard, so so hard, and August and September were basically lost to that. Not complaining, I needed it when life/work got shaken up without warning in the fall, and having my brain hooked up to the feelings engine made dealing with the stress a little more manageable. And thus I mowed through 8 fiction horror podcasts chasing the Malevolent high and turning off the part of my brain that wanted to scream and jump off a pier and make adjusting to my new circumstances much, much harder. Thank you scifi/horror audiodrama for your service.

Thankfully I was stable enough to join in OC-tober, not as much as I would have liked, but enough to make some great new connections and again give some time to digging into Ziri and Talia's story. Actually brought an ambitious project for them to a close in November (point one on my list of accomplishments ^^). And this December I've been focused solely on two pieces for my siblings. They really are my masterpieces for the year though!

A little bummed I missed out on Huevember this year, I learned so much from it last time, but it just wasn't in the cards. After all, I got this feral cat inside me and I'm trying to teach it to relax and do things like ask for/accept help, not shutdown with the slightest demand, be niceys to itself and others... making progress, yanno, slow but sure, definitely not linear, unsure if talking about it here is just being vulnerable and real or if it's like, tmi, but. Fuck it we ball. Stay silly ;3

Alright closing statement time...

2024 was a year of transition, for me. In so many ways. I've let go of a few old anchors, taken some steps in exciting directions, weathered unexpected change surprisingly well. I hope 2025 brings more resilience, more surprises, more fellowship. I'm grateful to every person who made this year special simply by crossing my path. Your art, your vision, your imaginations sustain me, inspire me. Take my hand. Let's step into the future together.

I cant wait to see you there ❤️

All my love,

Wren

What a year 2024 has been!!!

Some accomplishments I'm proud of:

Conceived and executed a three page project for my favorite oc's :)

Completed 52 pieces for events throughout the year!!!

Converted to a drawing tablet and a new digital art program

Culminated all the learning and growth this year with two gift art pieces that I'm extremely proud of for my siblings ❤️

[bokutosworld]

then and now | kuroo t.

pairing: kuroo tetsurō x f!reader word count: 1863 words, fluff! mutual pining!  warning: manga spoilers, with mention of kuroo’s timeskip occupation summary: always the bridesmaid, never the bride. you thought your time would never come until someone from your past comes along and brings up something you’ve long forgotten. OR where you and kuroo make a silly marriage pact and he shows up after years apart to make it come true.  

He chuckled, now comfortably holding your one hand and hiding it in his pocket to keep it warm. “Here I was wondering if you were waiting for me.

Because I was.” 

The church bell tolls, white doves are released, and joyful cheer and applause erupts from the crowd as the newlywed couple steps out from the cathedral. The now husband-and-wife gaze at each other full of love, and it is a sight guaranteed to make one envious and long for that same kind of affection. 

But to you, it’s a scene that you’ve seen so many times that it already feels like a short film played on repeat. For the past year, you’ve lost count of how many weddings you’ve attended – whether as a guest or part of the bride’s entourage – that you’ve acquainted yourself with the workings of the event. 

Heck, you’ve even memorized the readings of the priest that if they ever need a replacement, you can be the stand-in and officiate the program. 

However, this wedding was different. Your best friend of more than fifteen years is the one who walked down the aisle, and you’re more emotional than you expected you’d be. Earlier in the morning, she woke you up, feeling sentimental, and demanded a pep talk. It was laughable because, more than her, you thought it was you who needed that assurance as you sent off your childhood friend to a new journey in her life. 

The whole ordeal felt surreal and somehow, a tad more personal, because it wasn’t just any bride – this was the same girl you grew up with, the one you’ve seen in diapers, the one who held your hand in the playground, the person who you always ran to for boy troubles. Watching her exchange vows and rings felt like a coming to life of a scrapbook page, a long-awaited dream that you’ve talked about together in sleepovers where none of you really slept. 

It made you wonder if you will ever march down the same aisle towards the waiting arms of your beloved.  

---

“What a wedding, huh?” 

The hotel reception was no different to the ceremony that took place prior. This time again, you wore the bride’s maid-in-honor hat and only after making sure that everything – that included the food, drinks, and entertainment – were in place did you take your place on the table and chatted with your old friends from high school. 

The conversation started off with comments on how grand, intimate, and special the ceremony was. They talked about how it was wedding season, counting just how many of their schoolmates have already been wed. And before you knew it, eyes were on you and you had an inkling of what would follow. 

“So,” Yoshioka, your former student council president, turned towards you. “You’re the only bachelorette left in our batch. We’re just curious.”

You laughed awkwardly, “No, please don’t expect a wedding invitation from me anytime soon. I’m still happily single.” The smile you wore felt strained, but whether the other girls recognized it or not, they chose to not comment further. 

“Besides, it’s a great source of joy for me just being able to see you guys get married.” Noticing that the lights have begun to dim and focused on the spot on the stage, you clapped your hands, “Now, let’s just enjoy Yukie’s wedding, alright! Look, they’re coming out.” 

As soon as the couple walked to the floor for their first dance, you heaved a sigh of relief and slumped in your cushioned chair. They moved gracefully as one across the dance floor, seemingly lost in their own world as they gazed deeply in each other’s eyes and swayed to the tune of the love song. 

You thought back to the conversation earlier and weirdly, you felt a pang inside. Truth is, in every wedding you’ve attended, you can’t help but feel wishful. You consider yourself successful in almost every aspect of your life but sometimes, it can feel dejecting when you return home to an empty apartment at the end of a tough workday. 

A part of you craved to make that little girl’s dream come true of wearing the wedding dress that you’ve designed, staying up all night for a bridal shower, and walking down the aisle to where your lover was waiting. 

When the couple’s first dance ended, the host entered the stage and the program officially began. You could only hope that hours would pass faster. 

---

Two hours into the reception and you can already feel the shots kicking in your system. 

It wasn’t a really good idea downing five straight shots of tequila. At first, you thought it would quell your nerves, make you let loose and be the funnier version of yourself as you stepped to the podium to deliver your congratulatory speech to the couple. 

In retrospect, it looks like the drink did its job as you managed to emit laughter and emotional tears from the crowd as you reminisced on your relationship with the bride, recounting the story of how she fell deeply in love and decided that he was the one. 

But now, hunched in your seat with head on your hands, you were seemingly tipsy and all you could think about was escaping outside for some fresh air. 

So, you did. When the groom’s best man took the stage, you saw this as an opportunity to quietly slip to the balcony. 

Shutting the door behind you with a quiet thud, you eyed the empty balcony and sat towards the nearest bench. The surface was a bit cold as the city was now ushering the season of fall, signaling the arrival of long nights and chilly evenings. You shivered slightly and tucked your coat closer to your body as you stare at the darkness. 

You don’t know how long you’ve been outside until you heard the door open and in came a tall, attractive, and oddly familiar man. His face held a warm smile as you noticed that his gaze was directed towards you. 

“Long day?”   

And it was only until he stepped closer and stood in front of you, the moonlight illuminating his face and accentuating his features, that you realized who he was. 

“Tetsurō?!”   

When was the last time you saw the Kuroo Tetsurō? You racked your brain for your last encounter with him and your memories point to your high school graduation. All of a sudden, you felt small and your surroundings became hot as you stood in front of him. Your former childhood neighbor. Former best friend. Former crush. 

Not that he had any idea about that last item. 

“I thought I saw you earlier before the reception started,” he made himself comfortable on the bench, patting the space beside him to urge you to sit as well. “But it’s been so long since I last saw you so of course I thought I was hallucinating. Then you gave a speech on stage – which by the way, I thought was awesome, you’re still as witty as you were before – and my suspicions were confirmed.” 

You were breathless. Speechless. What were the odds that your reunion with him would be at a wedding? 

“Did Yukie send you the wedding invitation?”  

His laugh echoed in the darkness of the night, “Yeah, she did. It was nice to see familiar faces again.” He stared back at you, “I missed everyone.” I missed you, he wanted to say. 

You hummed in agreement and without realizing, the two of you engaged in a comfortable conversation with Kuroo leading just as he always did. Being charming just as he always was. Telling you stories from the part of the past that you didn’t know. Catching you up with his present where he now works in the sports promotion division of Japan Volleyball Association. 

A small part of you was relieved to know that Kuroo was doing well and successful just as you always hoped he would be. Years of no contact with the boy that stole your heart from day one certainly left you lonely. You wouldn’t say it out loud but he was part of the equation of why you still haven’t tied the knot. It was silly but you always thought that no one could measure up to him. 

Absentmindedly, you started fiddling with your fingers, a habit you’ve formed when you were feeling cold, and Kuroo noticed. And just as he always did back then, he enveloped your hands with his and brought them to his lips to blow warm air on them. 

“That better?” 

Your heart threatened to flutter, “Yeah, thanks.” 

After a long while of silence, Kuroo spoke. “I see there’s still no ring on your fourth finger.” He was now nonchalantly stroking your hands, letting his fingers slip in yours. 

You coughed nervously, averting your eyes from his deep ones. “Well, I haven’t really found anyone.” 

He chuckled, now comfortably holding your one hand and hiding it in his pocket to keep it warm. “Here I was wondering if you were waiting for me.

Because I was.” Oh no, be still my heart, you thought.

Kuroo went on, “Remember that silly pact we made on the night before graduation?” 

Your mind takes you back on that evening when you and Kuroo were sitting on the rooftop, away from the noisy crowds and drunk soon-to-be college students. This was your thing, enjoying the calmness and admiring the stars spread out in the night sky. 

That evening, you and Kuroo talked about the uncertain future that lied ahead. That evening, you bared your soul to him, letting him in on your worries and you fell apart in his comforting presence. He, as always, acted as your anchor, assuring you that he would always be your biggest supporter and that he’d always cheer on you even from afar. 

That evening, with the two of you drunk on the excitement and the many possibilities for the new chapter of life, he brought up a proposal.

“I have a crazy idea.” Kuroo linked his pinkie finger with yours. “If we’re still single and not yet married by the age of 35, I’ll find you and we’ll get married.”  

Swept away in the moment and the thrill of the idea, you agreed and sealed the proposal with a harmless kiss. 

“You still remember that?” You questioned, not expecting him to actually remember that silly pact. Not expecting him to be holding on to that agreement. 

“Sometimes, I wonder where we could be now if I just manned up and asked you out that night instead of pulling that act.” He holds your gaze, careful as he brings a hand to cup your cheek. “I’ve liked you for the longest time. And if you’re still available, if you’ll still have me, I am yours.” 

“But we’re not yet 35, Kuroo,” you teased. He chuckled and playfully shoved you before bringing you in an embrace. 

“I’ve decided years ago. You’re the only one for me,” he pulls away. “I’m sorry it took me a long time.” 

And that night, it wasn’t only your best friend that went home feeling the happiest girl in the world. 

Because there was Kuroo who was ready to make up for lost time and give you a reason to look forward to your trips back home.  

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batboys Getting Betrayed By Their S/O HC

Requested? Yes! From a lovely anon!

“Hello! I'd like to make a Batboys reaction request if I may! If writing for all of them is too much please pick whoever you'd like! Have fun with it! Batboys finally catch the villain they've been after for a disgusting amount of time, they grab their mask/helmet, rip it off and BAM!! It's their S/O. How do they react? Thank you for your time!!”

THIS HC TURNED INTO AN EPIC COLLAB BETWEEN @birdy-bat-riya AND WE POPPED OFF!!! Riya really said “lets break the boys heart then give them the best fluff in the world” and I agreed then BAM this beauty. I hope you enjoy and I’m super excited to collab w my tumblr soulmate more!!!

ALSO GO CHECKOUT STAY WITH ME A TIM DRAKE FIC THAT IS KINDA LIKE THIS IF YOU WANT STORYLINE IT’S ONE OF MY FAVES!!!

Damian Wayne

- Damian would not see it coming

- after a painful bout of hand to hand combat, Robin had you stuck to a wall with Batarangs, and he stalked forward

- hoping he would get pulled away by Batman so wouldn’t notice your similarity to the love of his life, you sucked in a deep breath as you realized there was no escape

- “The great villainous sidekick defeated by Robin. Sounds good doesn’t it? But I want to know just who I bested” he quipped, reaching for your mask

- as he pulled it off he froze, your mask dropped to the ground as you began begging for forgiveness

- “Baby it’s not what it looks like! I’m sorry you know I couldn’t tell you! I love you Damian please understand!” you cried, pulling against the batarangs you felt your suit rip as you jumped to the ground reaching for Damian

- Damian looked beyond stunned, trying to process the idea that the one person he trusted above all had betrayed him. He’d spent months hunting, fighting, deeply wound you, then calling you beloved just a couple days later

- pulling yourself forward you flung your arms around him, trying to love him into submission

- instinctively his arms began to wrap around you and you could feel the material of his gloves grace over the exposed parts of your side from where your suit ripped, but he drew them back, pushing you off of him

- “belov- Y/N” his tone was harsh, and broken, “is this really you? You knew I was Robin, and yet you lied to me every day? Learned my weaknesses and my truths all just to use it against me?” you could see him shaking, his domino mask hid his glassy eyes but not his heart broken expression

- you realized he thought you’d only befriended him to use him and you jumped to explain “No! Babe never! I keep this life and our life completely separate! I never used anything and would never tell your secrets to anyone! This, this life [ you gestured to your suit ] is out of necessity, for my survival I have to be strong. But with you, Damian, with you life is worth living, you make my battles worth fighting, everything I do is for us!” you realized how good it felt to let everything go, tears streaming down your face

- Damian looked conflicted, broken because of your betrayal, but you could tell he still loved you

- “Y/N you know I can keep you safe, why? Why live this life when you know of the one we could’ve had together?” Damian 

- “I didn’t think of it that way” you whispered, thoughts flying through your head

- “Then let me help you” was all Damian said, and he reached out a hand

- Batman and your boss appeared behind you and Robin, both confused with what was happening

- Bruce looked shocked to see who the villain’s sidekick was, but he was trying to keep his Batman level confidence

- “C’mon kid lets go” you felt a tug on your shoulder, trying to lead you back to your base, but the look Damian was giving you stopped you, unable to turn your shoulder on him

- this was Damian asking you to pick a new life with him. And you knew he was the only thing that truly made him happy, but this would be the end of your reputation, and your safety

- you began to reach for Damian but stopped, needing his reassurance

- “you promise you’ll protect me?”

- “always.” you took his hand, falling into his arms, and decided a future with Damian was better than anything else

Dick Grayson

- Dick didn’t know you were Slade’s protege after Dick told him no all those years ago

- you knew he thought of your villain persona as his greatest opponent and you couldn’t break his heart

- you’d both been in the good guy vs bad guy business since you were kids so you couldn’t expect him to understand, so you hid it.

- he told you he was Nightwing a couple months before and your heart dropped realizing you’d been fighting the love of your life for years, and were trained by one of his greatest tormentors

- in a terrible turn of events you, Nightwing, and Slade all ended up fighting each other, Nightwing and you after Slade for seperate reasons just before his escape he noticed how you couldn’t hurt Dick like you used to

- in an act of revenge for you leaving his side all those years ago, he shouted “catch you later sweet Y/N!” before jumping out a window out of your sight

- Dick’s head whipped to you, a look of confusion at Slade knowing your identity

- hoping he’d missed it you tried to run out of the building and take off

- angy Dick is basically super powered so he caught you (yes i said angy)

- when he rips off your mask and the face he’d adored for years looks up at him he physically can’t stand

- watching the love of your life crumple to the ground is the hardest thing you’ve endured

- frantically trying to explain you keep trying to cup his face in your hand but he pulls away, refusing to look you in the eyes, eventually finding the strength to get up and grapple away

- the entire batfam goes after you. Damian especially, because he trusted you, glad Dick had someone that loved him the way he secretly did. There is no way you’re gonna get away from an angry Batfam especially when their mutual favorite brother has been broken

- I honestly don’t think Dick would let it go back to normal. His family would never approve and knowing you lied for months was too much, he knows what is good and bad for him and is surrounded by family.

- One day the two of you would team up and apologize, continuing forward as mutuals that come when the other needs you, but Dick wouldn’t be able to look at you the same, and Damian would never leave his side, refusing to let Dick get hurt again

Jason Todd

- Jason was used to coming home to you bruised and cut. He never liked to see you battered and bleeding, but he understood it was part of your job as a Criminal Investigator.

- at least that’s what he thought

- you were used to seeing him beat up too. The only difference was that you knew the real reason he came home beaten and injured. 

- it was because he would spend his nights fighting you.

- you truly loved Jason, but you couldn't bear to break his heart by telling him the truth. That the woman he loved was his sworn enemy and was lying about it.

- little did you know, he was beginning to get suspicious of your injuries. They seemed a little extreme for an investigative agent, and dare he say, they seemed to match the injuries his enemy walked away with last night.

- then one night, it happened. You were being chased by Red Hood. You thought you were in the clear. And knowing jason would be home any minute, you headed back home, hopping from rooftop-to-rooftop.

- you stopped in the parking lot of your building, about to take off your mask when you heard a voice. Red Hood was leaning on your car, looking more tense than usual. “Go on. Take off the mask.”

- you were mortified. You tried to run but he caught you and you were cornered. He took off the mask and you looked down, afraid to meet his eyes.

- he wasn’t startled or shocked. You heard the seams of his gloves rip as he clenched his fist. You looked up and saw him scowling, but behind the anger, there was so much disappointment. You could see his heart breaking.

-  he stepped back and began to walk away. You tried so hard to explain and apologize but he only turned you down, unwilling to see your face.

- realizing everything was ruined, you gave one final apology. “Jason, I know you can’t forgive me. But I truly am sorry. I'm sorry for lying, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for everything. But I promise, I really do love you. And I know you might not believe me, but I mean every word.” Tears were streaming down your face, and he wouldn’t let you see it, but they were brimming in his.

- you left and didn’t come back. You kept your distance from Jason but made sure you knew was still alright. He was frequenting bars, skipping patrols. You began to worry when he was nowhere to be found, so you donned the mask once more, only without your usual uniform.

- that night, to your disbelief, you found the Red Hood fighting some petty cat burglars outside of a museum. You noticed how his punches held more force than they used to and felt a little pained, seeing his hurt in his movements. 

- while he was taking care of the robbers, you saw one of them run off to a car with a jade vase and instinctively charged in. You hopped in the car roof and swung into the passenger seat, knocked out the driver, and safely drove the car back.

- you put the vase back where it belonged and left the scene of the crime without anyone’s attention.

- Red Hood turned the burglars over to the cops. There was something about a tripped alarm and missing vase but the item was kept exactly where it was meant to be when they checked.

- he was about to trudge away when he heard something. “This masked broad, she jumped into the car! From the bloody window!” His mind wandered. It couldn’t be…

- that night, you returned to one of your old safehouses and headed to your closet to put away your mask, but the first thing you saw was your suit. You looked at the domino mask in your hand and all you could remember was Jason’s face when he found out. Right then and there, you threw it all away.

- months passed. You hadn’t heard from or seen Jason Todd. You revamped your suit and donned a new mask. You went by your old name still. You couldn’t change who you were, and you didn't want to either. 

- the only difference now was that you didn’t kill. something tilted the needle on your moral compass, and as much you wanted to deny it, Jason rubbed off on you.

- you took your burglary jobs, and got into your own type of trouble, but you could almost always handle it. Emphasis on the ‘almost’

- once or twice you bit off more than you could chew, for example the time when you needed to collect some money from a Bludhaven gang. you were outnumbered and unarmed. just when you thought it was all over for you, you heard two gunshots and violent cursing. 

- you found yourself standing before two gangsters with bloody hands and one Red Hood. “You’re welcome.”, he said with his usual snarky tone, muffled by his helmet. 

- this was the first of many times he would save you. You would drop in on his gigs sometimes as well, just to lend a helping gun.

- bad blood aside, you were always there for eachother. He meant it as a silent acceptance of your apology and that’s exactly how you took it.

- soon enough the tension faded, you both went down your own roads but found comfort in knowing that you were never alone. It was an unspoken pact that when one of you needed the other, you’d never be far. 

Tim Drake

- Tim would notice something, maybe you stuffing your suit in your trunk, you using a phrase his enemy always used, something that gave him the wrong feeling

- he’d push it away, always wanting to believe the best of you

- but eventually it wouldn’t add up

- Tim came over one night and made a beeline to the back of your closet, a drawer he never saw you open during all the years of knowing you

- you heard a small gasp when he pulled out the suit of his rival, the strangled sound of disbelief was the last noise he made before he threw your suit on the floor and stormed out, and it was the last you saw of him for months

- watching the news seeing “RED ROBIN GONE BAD?” or “IS THIS IS THE SAME HERO?” as you watched Tim become more and more reckless and cruel. Tim rarely got so physical the medics came instead of the police but watching him through your screen you saw a new person

- seeing Tim (and Red Robin) break down on television gave you the realization of the necessity behind Tim’s heroics

- almost as an homage to his heart break he began using the moves you’re villainous alter ego used on him on his new targets, showing you the hurt and the damage you’d done to your victims

- after weeks of watching the torture you knew villainy wasn’t worth it if it meant Tim was broken like this

- knowing he’d be on patrol like always you waited on the top of the building he’d brought you to the night you started dating, hoping he’d miss the memory as much as you did

- rushing up to him, begging for him to listen, even after the heart break Tim couldn’t say no to you, and he needed to know why, this was a mystery he really couldn’t piece together

- frantically explaining everything from your childhood forward, you couldn’t stop, the honestly was refreshing, and Tim listened the whole time

- after admitting everything you brought your suit out, and in front of Tim you began to rip it to shreds, hoping he’d see the meaning behind your words

- this was a lot for Tim, and he asked for a week to settle his feelings

- Red Robin was inactive for a week, 168 hours you spent praying to anything that he’d take you back

- and exactly one week later, you were holding your head in your hands sobbing, wishing you could’ve changed earlier and hoping Tim would go back to his heroism - when you heard your apartment window carefully opening

- Tim came back, suited up, holding a new suit for you that he’d had created

- Tim explained that he wanted you back, and he intended on helping you fix all your past mistakes, one life saved at a time

- you often looked back on the news from that week, the headlines showed a new chapter of your life

“RED ROBIN AND NIGHTINGALE Y CRIME FIGHTING DUO!” “RED ROBIN IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER WITH A NEW HERO AT HIS SIDE!”

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS IS A REMINDER TO GO FOLLOW @birdy-bat-riyaBECAUSE SHE IS THE REASON THIS IS SO AMAZING ILY GIRLY

[misssophiachase]

All You Never Say - Part 4a

Mr Mikael and Mrs Esther Mikaelson and Dr Grayson and Mrs Miranda Pierce request the pleasure of your presence at the wedding of their children:

The Hon Elijah Edward Mikaelson and Dr Katherine Elena Pierce

On the twenty-third of June, twenty-twenty one, 1400h at Ely Cathedral followed by a reception at Mikaelson Manor, Ely Cambridgeshire

Dress: White Tie

23rd June 2021, Mikaelson Manor, Ely Cambridgeshire - 8:47am

“What do you mean the beagle ate the wedding cake?” Caroline hissed, shutting the door behind her so as not to alarm the bride on her big day.

“Well, I can detail the stages of destruction, but yes, the Mikaelson's beloved pet dog decided to taste test the cake early, long story short.” Caroline was certain that the housekeeper’s use of “the Mikaelson’s beloved pet dog” was clearly by design.

Caroline was all for adorable dogs, especially those that were photogenic for the wedding album like Tully, but not those who scoffed the cake before the ceremony had even begun. Especially given that extra amount of fondant and extra tier which cost the earth.

But given the way Tully looked at her with those imploring, brown eyes and the telling evidence of frosting smeared across her chops, she was close to calling it a day.

Who needed cake anyway? It was worth way too many calories and most people would be so drunk that far into the festivities it wouldn’t even matter, right?

“So, I see you’ve met our cute but pressing problem.”

Caroline turned to see the best man in all his glory. And by that she meant those unkempt curls, sly grin and a fitted, tank top that should be illegal given those arms on display. 

Was this their thing? Just running into each other partially clothed. She looked down at her ensemble self-consciously glad for the shorts, t-shirt and the Maid of Honour monogrammed robe that she greedily pulled across her chest.

“Our problem?”

“Because a problem shared is a problem halved right, wedding buddy?”

“Wedding buddy? Oh, you mean the same guy who wanted to document the lost ring for speech fodder?”

“It was a joke but clearly you don’t know what that means, grouchy.”

“Oh, like that time you let your dog, albeit cute, eat the wedding cake before the ceremony. I only hope the Bride and Groom figurines are still firmly intact at least?”

“Well, their passing was most definitely mourned,” Klaus noted. Caroline was trying to be mad, but he was doing that thing where he looked cute so as to avoid her wrath. Bastard.

“So, what you’re telling me is that we have no cake or cake topper and the wedding is due to start in 5 hours?"

“I mean there’s some cake left, albeit a mess, but if the guests want to eat it off the floor...”

“Yeah, I can see the Prime Minister doing that. You are not helping, Mikaelson. Look, I’ll call the baker, they must have a back-up cake on hand, otherwise why are we paying them such an exorbitant amount? I mean it’s a cake, like it’s hard to bake one of those,” she rambled, the reality of the situation making a sudden and ugly appearance.

“Okay, I didn’t want to tell you this because you are clearly already upset but the baker has no wedding themed alternatives,” Klaus explained, shooing away both the guilty canine and her loyal housekeeper in the process, no doubt by design. This was not the news Caroline wanted to hear and clearly he knew it.

“What?"

“You are not going to lose it, not on my watch, Forbes.”

“I am not losing it,” she hissed, finally finding her voice. “But she is your dog and that makes you responsible for my mood.”

“She is a Mikaelson, I mean expensive taste comes with the territory,” Klaus replied. Caroline, meanwhile, felt the brief spell he had over her lift.

“Can you please stop offering up annoying commentary? We have an emergency, one that needs to be rectified STAT.”

“What I didn’t get to say was that the baker has two other cakes on hand.” Caroline’s ears pricked up, maybe all wasn’t lost.

“I’m listening,” she murmured.

Klaus pulled his cell from his pocket and swiped through his phone. “These are the options.”

He leaned in closer so she could see the photos but in the process his arm grazed hers and she was momentarily blindsided and not focused on the pressing emergency. It reminded her so much of two years ago, when she’d felt his arm encircle her waist and pull her towards him. 

Caroline told herself he must have been dreaming at the time but that didn’t take away from how it had felt. It felt good, really good.

“Alright, love?” She looked up into his blue eyes, only deciding too late that it was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

“I’m just shocked by...” she paused, her eyes hurriedly flickering to his cell screen. “Congratulations on your Retirement, Bernie?”

“I’m sure we can change a few letters around or something,” she gave him a look which plainly said it wasn’t going to happen. “Right, here’s the other one."

“Happy 6th Birthday to our Unicorn Princess? Don’t think Kat would mind being called a unicorn princess at all but not sure about Elijah...”

“Well, what suggestions do you have, Forbes?”

He had a point, there were none that forthcoming but then it hit her.

“The bomboniere.” Caroline was surprised she thought of it given she was so caught off guard by his close proximity and the unfolding situation.

“The what?”

“I don’t have time to explain wedding terminology right now, I have a bride to reassure that everything is peachy. Just meet me in the kitchen in twenty minutes and put some clothes on while you’re at it.”

“Only if you do,” he smirked. Caroline didn’t wait before slamming the door in his smug face.

There were so many things to reconcile with Klaus Mikaleson and not just her feelings. Last night they’d shared more than a sandwich in the kitchen and two years ago...well that was another story.

Perch, Los Angeles CA - 14 February (two and a bit years earlier)

Caroline felt like she’d finally hit rock bottom.

Not because it was Valentine’s Day.

Or that she was single.

That wasn’t the worst part of her predicament. She was currently...well, before she could lament her situation a bell rang out, breaking Caroline from her regretful thoughts. She didn’t have time to bid Phil the Chiropractor farewell because a burly looking brunette appeared immediately in his place.

“Tyler.” Apparently there was no need for an actual greeting or for Caroline to ask his name in the first place. I suppose they only had two minutes so he was getting straight to the point. Caroline couldn’t blame him given how painful this whole thing was.

Caroline was going to kill them. First Bonnie, who wanted their apartment to herself tonight so she could cook a romantic dinner for current boyfriend Jeremy. Clearly he hadn’t been present at her most horrific of food failures given they were still dating.

They’d been living together since Bonnie relocated to Los Angeles nine months earlier and Caroline was enjoying rooming with her best friend again after so long. Then she got a boyfriend, even if he looked twelve, and Caroline was relegated back to her usual existence. It wasn’t like Caroline wanted or needed a boyfriend because her schedule was busy enough.

Which took her to the second person she had to blame. Lexi. Her colleague and friend, who decided they should spend the evening speed dating so Bonnie could “get it on with her boyfriend” as she put it. Caroline figured the fact she’d already signed them up weeks earlier and only asked right before a deposition hearing were the main reasons why she had no choice but to agree.

Now, here she was, pretending to be interested in Tyler and shooting deliberate looks in Lexi’s direction who seemed unaffected given the way she was attempting to read her guy’s palm. Smooth.

“I don’t think I got your name?”

“Huh?” She looked into his warm, brown eyes feeling guilty she’d been blatantly ignoring him.

“Your name?” Before she could reply, she heard a very familiar voice call out her name.

Then he appeared in all his gorgeous goodness, his ability to wear a suit had not waned since they’d seen each other last at a mutual friend’s engagement party. Why he was here of all places, she had no idea.

“Caroline, sweetheart.” Sweetheart?

“Do you know this guy?” Tyler asked, the confusion obvious. She didn’t blame him.

“Of course she knows me, I’m only her boyfriend.”

Her what now? Caroline was too shocked to speak let alone reprimand him for being a presumptuous idiot.

“You have a boyfriend? Then why are you here?”

“I’d like to know the same thing, mate,” Klaus agreed, his hands crossed over his chest. Caroline was madly trying to crawl under the table just so everyone would stop looking at her like she was some two-timing girlfriend.

Lexi meanwhile seemed to be enjoying the entertainment from afar, raising her champagne glass in salute, even if she had no idea what was happening. Caroline wasn’t enjoying it at all. She wanted to scream at him for being such an ass but at the same time a rescue from this situation was an equally enticing prospect.

“I…”

Before she could find the words, he found them for her.

“It’s my fault, sweet cheeks,” he implored, pushing past Tyler and placing his hands in hers. Caroline was trying to ignore the electricity it generated but also the horrible pet name he’d bestowed. Like he couldn’t have come up with something normal? “I neglected you and for that I am so sorry but just know that I will love you, always and forever.”

Was he kidding? Next thing he’d be pulling out a cracker jack bracelet or resembling any one of the romantic leads in a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Caroline made a note to tease him about his taste in movies and television later.

However it seemed their audience didn’t mind one bit. Women and men nearby were more interested in fawning over the scene playing out than resuming speed dating. Even their organiser seemed transfixed.

She hated him, especially for interrupting her night and being the smug pain-in-the-ass she knew so well but she needed to get out of there fast and he was her ticket.

“Honey bear,” she cooed, noting the slight twitch in his jaw. Caroline knew he was trying to withhold his signature smirk. But why did he have to smell so good withholding it? His hands were still firmly intertwined with hers too. “You took me for granted, so why should I forgive you?”

Now he was trying to contain an eye roll, only someone who’d known him for that long could tell. And she was loving every moment especially if he was going to crash her speed date and embarrass her in the process.

“And for that I am eternally sorry, baby cakes.” Caroline had to really try not to dry reach. “But you are the one for me. We are destined to be together forever, like soulmates.”

As much as she wanted to draw this out and force him to eat those horrible and predictable platitudes, this show needed to end. Now. Given Tyler’s defeated expression she knew it wouldn’t be too difficult to transition to the bar and to a much-needed straight vodka on the rocks.

“You were an imbecile, Mario, but I’m willing to consider a reconciliation if you stop being an asshat and promise to worship me forever.”

Before she could relish in her response and the slight tugging at the edges of his crimson lips, he’d pulled her up and moved them towards the direction of the bar. No doubt because her demands were slightly out of the question and he was starting to feel embarrassed himself. Served him right really. Given half of the people were entranced by their conversation and the rest were clearly dubious she decided it was good timing to high tail it out of there.

“Worship you forever, someone clearly has tickets on themselves,” he muttered, gesturing to the barman. “And who is Mario? I so do not look like a Mario.”

“Says the man child named Mario who called me sweet cheeks and baby cakes."

“I was clearly being sarcastic,” he shot back, gesturing for a shot. “What was honey bear all about then?”

“You barrelled into my life uninvited, and last time I checked you don’t live here.”

“I'm in town for business and was having dinner with colleagues. Had I known it was going to be dinner and a show I might have arrived sooner.” Caroline chose not to respond immediately, just drank her vodka in one, long gulp. “Someone is thirsty.”

“I need to drink to deal with you.”

“Says the girl speed dating,” he whistled. “I mean you can be difficult and kind of abrasive, Forbes, but I never thought you’d speed date in a million years.”

“I am only doing this for Bonnie because she wanted the apartment to herself to cook for her date and then my friend Lexi signed me up without telling me,” she rambled.

“She’ll have another vodka,” he gestured to the barman. “So, I take it this boyfriend hasn’t sampled Bennett’s cooking yet? I just hope you left the fire extinguisher in plain view.”

“That’s what you took from all of this?’"

“I feel like if I delve too deeply I’ll be too immersed in all the Rebekah type drama and we both know that is not my thing.”

“I’ll be sure to pass on your best wishes to your sister,” she growled. “So, why involve yourself and embarrass me like that in front of total strangers? Let me guess, you’ve got no one to play with and were bored?”

“Don’t underestimate my ability to find a playmate, love.” The way he drawled “playmate” was making places below feel like they hadn’t in a long time. So much so that she didn’t even try to bite back. “Anyway, I thought it would be fun,” he teased, his left dimple making an unwanted appearance at that exact moment. “And I could tell you you needed rescuing.”

“I’m not some damsel in distress you need to save, Mikaelson,” she argued.

“Says the girl who looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here,” he shot back. “So, you’re welcome.”

“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!” The patrons began to chant and tap their glasses, Caroline only just realising they seemed to have an audience of very interested speed daters watching their every move.

“I’m going to need more vodka,” she muttered, “But not here.”

Roosevelt Hotel, Beverly Hills - 2 hours later

“So, this is where you bring all your playmates?” It was the first thing that came to mind when Caroline spied the king size bed taking pride of place in his suite. They’d spent an hour at 25 degrees, the hotel’s poolside bar and were now in his suite.

Inexplicably.

Okay, maybe not so inexplicably.

Caroline wasn’t one to go to a guy’s hotel room - especially this particular one - but between the vodka buzz and the fact Lexi had picked up and Bonnie was enjoying her night in their apartment there wasn’t much choice about where to go.

The vodka had helped loosen her usual inhibitions and, although she’d never say it aloud, Caroline was enjoying his company. Although, if anyone asked about this temporary bout of insanity she’d blame the alcohol.

“ Says the woman who was questioning the existence of said playmates only a few hours earlier.”

“So, you won’t mind if I do this?” She stated, not bothering to ask his permission as she discarded her heels and jumped onto the perfectly made bed. He stopped what he was doing momentarily, his eyes transfixed on her short, black dress and bouncing, blonde waves.

“I’m going to have to tip the maid extra now,” his voice was low, husky almost.

“Maybe she deserves it,” Caroline shot back.

He didn’t respond immediately, just shrugged off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. She was watching him do it like it was in slow motion. Then he rolled up his shirt sleeves. Who knew forearms could be so...appealing?

Caroline was starting to think that she was entering some sort of alternate universe she needed to escape, if only just to keep her sanity and self respect. I mean he was Klaus Mikaelson and she wasn’t one of his “playmates.” Not by a long shot.

“Drink?”

“Water, please,” she replied immediately, he cocked an eyebrow as if to say she was no fun. “I’m a cheap drunk, what can I say? And who knows what else I might trash in this place under the influence?”

He seemed to accept her response, busying himself with drink preparation. “So, why exactly did you go speed dating in the first place?” He asked, filling a tall glass with ice cubes.

“I told you,” she panted, finally tiring of the activity and making herself comfortable on the expansive bed. “Bonnie…”

“I heard that version,” he pressed. “But I want the real one.”

He passed her the water and made himself comfortable on the bed, his aftershave combining with the dizziness and messing with her overall composure.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, and maybe you don’t understand, but spending it alone can kind of suck,” she confessed. “Especially when your roomie kicks you out of the house.”

“I just hope you kick Bennett out on Halloween as payback.”

“You like Halloween?”

“You have no idea, love,” he chuckled. “No rose petals or corny ballads, just blood, guts and general mayhem.”

“Noted.”

“It’s just this ridiculous Hallmark Holiday,” Klaus offered, stretching out further and grazing her legs in the process. “It creates unrealistic expectations.”

“So, it’s Hallmark’s fault?”

“Hallmark is the tip of the iceberg,” he explained. “Every candy company, every florist, every jeweller and don’t even get me started on those terrible things they call romantic comedies.”

“You don’t like romantic comedies?”

“I try to steer clear for my own sanity, Caroline.”

“Not tonight,” she murmured, an idea suddenly coming to mind. “If I’m forced to stay in this mediocre hotel with you then...”

It was a lie and they both knew it but suddenly the less tipsy version of herself felt like she needed an excuse to stay the night with her best friend’s brother in such close quarters.

“I demand a movie marathon.”

“Terminator, Rambo, Rocky?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day, Mikaelson,” she shot back. “And I happen to know there is a marathon on television tonight.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me?”

“I’m deathly serious,” she answered. “But before we start, I’m going to need some popcorn and a shirt.”

“You want my shirt?”

“Not the shirt you’re wearing, lover boy, don’t get so excited. But I can’t sleep in this dress.”

His eyes seemed to linger a little too long on her body and Caroline was trying to do everything in her power to remain calm. Luckily he broke the silence not too long after.

“I’ll get you a shirt, but I’m not going to enjoy these movies at all, understand? I am only watching these ridiculous excuses of cinema because you’ve taken my television hostage?”

2 hours later…

“So, the apparent “virgin who can’t drive” ends up with the step brother? I mean I’m not surprised given the poor and predictable plot but is this kind of union legal in the state of California?”

“For the fiftieth time, he’s not related,” she growled, throwing a few popcorn kernels in his direction. This is about Cher realising that material things in life aren’t everything.”

"Whatever you say, Forbes. Although, tell me after this movie ended she ditched the mansion, the jeep, the designer plaid and knee sock combination outfits and moved to the Valley?”

He was annoying but also eerily observant.

“Yes, I mean maybe? People with money can change.”

“They’ve clearly never met Mikael or Esther.”

He said it quietly but Caroline couldn’t mistake the pain in his voice. She knew about his difficult past but they’d never been close enough to discuss it and given they were lying in the same bed it didn’t seem like the best time to open that pandora’s box.

“Do I have a great choice for you next,” she promised, her eyes sparkling, hoping to lift the mood.

2 hours later…

“Are you crying?”

“No, for the last time I have allergies, Caroline.”

“Inside?”

“The pollen level was high today and the doors in these rooms are forever opening and closing. Maybe the maid doesn’t deserve such a big tip after all.”

Maybe it was cruel, but it was on television and there was no stopping the effects of the Notebook on even the most emotionless male.

2 hours later…

“I thought I’d seen everything,” he scoffed, stretching out tiredly. “She paid a guy to be her wedding date?”

“Not just anyone, he’s hot.”

“He’s an escort.”

“I think it adds to his overall appeal. He knows how to treat a woman because of his experience.”

“And how many escorts have you met?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Wow, if you ever show up to a wedding with a stranger, I’ll be asking for their credentials,” he joked. “Wait, you think he’s attractive?”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

“Each to their own I suppose, but that aside, the whole premise is just unrealistic.”

“It is a movie.”

“Yeah, a romantic comedy,” he shot back. “Case closed. Now, can we please sleep already? I think I deserve it after that marathon effort.”

“Fine,” she conceded, leaning across to turn off the lamp. “I have to say your shirt is very comfortable.”

“It should be," he replied, snuggling into the covers. “That’s my lucky Ramones t-shirt.”

As her head hit the pillow, Caroline was wondering why he gave her that particular shirt to wear. She couldn’t deny just how good the worn fabric felt against her bare skin and how the faint hint of his aftershave consumed her senses.

Sleep was immediate.

When she woke up the next morning and felt his arm encircle her waist and pull her towards him Caroline relished in the feeling. She assumed life would go back to normal but for now she was happy to live in the moment. It was probably better that way.

Read on AO3 HERE 

[kewltie]

grumpy vet!katsuki is annoyed at animal lover!izuku who keeps bringing strays into his clinic because this isn't a fucking rescue but he never stop helping izuku care and find a home for every one of them. worst yet is that he can hear the voice of animals and they're like,,, pls mate with the cute human.

katsuki doesn't remember when it first started for him, but he'd always heard them. the animals are noisy bunch of fuckers with A WHOLE LOT OF OPINIONS and katsuki wouldn't say he love them but hearing their voice, knowing their pain and joy, he understands them better than he get humans. there isn't any pretense with the animals. they are what they are and they love, hate, and cry just as fiercely as any humans even though katsuki thinks they're simple creatures. he always been closer to the animals than other humans because they stay true to him. so yea he doesn't love animals but he finds himself relating to them more than his own species. it's not surprise that he became a vet because he get to work closely with the animals that kinda fuck up his life since he cant have any normalcy anymore so they're stuck with each other lol

izuku have always been fond of animals and they have always been super fond of him back. it's mutual love all around even though izuku def can't hear their voices but growing up izuku was heavily bullied and harassed and his only friends were stray dogs he met whenever he walk to/from school.  his bullies called him in mocking tone 'snow white' because the fact that izuku always attracting animals around him and whenever he go anywhere birds fly circle above him and animals have a habit of finding him. it's freaky. IZUKU WAS WEIRD so he finds comfort in animals rather than human because they don’t care or judge him. Animals can be simple like that.

while katsuki takes his strangeness and ability and turns it into a flourishing business because he's not going to let anything fuck him over; katsuki owns his power and isn't ashamed of it one bit. he just wish the animals talk less because they think they know BEST even more than him lol.  take for example his lack of love life because he's sooo busy at his private clinic and doesn't have time for others. as soon as he had graduated vet school, he poured his money and opened his own clinic because katsuki was never going to be alright working under someone and he want to do things his way.  now that his business is stable and he got several other vets (his friends from vet school) working with him, he has more free time but still finds himself working at the clinic on his day off because he's uh a bit of a workaholic?? also because he thinks human relationship is a complicated, annoying, and just UGH/o\.

his animals that AREN'T HIS PETS exactly but stay year round at the clinic because they're deemed unadoptable for normal shelters because of their special needs (i.e. blind, deaf, etc) so they constantly harassed him to find a 'proper mate' and produce 'offspring' already because he's wasting good sperm… lol  they legitly dont understand how a virile male like katsuki haven't found a good mate yet and katsuki REALLY REALLY would like them to stfu up with the nagging because he already got it from his friends and HIS PARENTS and now he's getting harassed at work by his own fucking animals.

his animals are actually a bird with one wing, a three legged dog, two cats (one blind and the other deaf). no matter what katsuki say, THEY'RE HIS PACK and they absolutely loves him. Some were surrendered by their owner because it was too much work taking care of a special need animal while his pack like the dog actually came from a fighting ring and got his leg broken by another. the two cats were from abusive households, and the bird was abandoned by her owner when she lost one of her wings. they're mix matched bunch of mistfists with nowhere else to go but katsuki took them in anyway. he said it's only UNTIL HE FIND THEM A NEW HOME, but they never leave him sobs. THEY LOVE THIS GRUMPY ASSHOLE. katsuki understands them and doesn't care if they're lil broken and damage and he's so, so good to them even though he's so MEAN ABOUT IT LOL.

so yea, they want more than anything for katsuki to be happy!!!!! for them that's mean finding a good mate and having babies because that is guaranteeing his future, but few humans can put up with their beloved katsuki,,, until izuku comes rolling into the clinic with a dog hit by a car of course.

izuku has no pet insurance and he doesn't even have any money to pay the pet fees because he's actually unemployed right now. he went through various jobs of all kind but because of his 'unique deposition' animals constantly flocked to him and made it chaotic when he's on the job. he was eventually was fire/asked to leave because it was inconvenience to them and though izuku finds it extremely hard to only last a month or two at his new work everytime, he never blame the animals for being the source of the problem because they ARE HIS HAPPINESS, HIS ENDLESS JOY.

it also made it harder izuku to have a 'normal' life when izuku would often drop everything to help any kind of animal in need. a lost pet, an injured bunny, an abused dog, etc and he would go to great lengths to ensure they're love and care for because they are the world to him. so when he saw a dog injured on the roadside, he stopped immediately and found the nearest vet clinic to bring her in even though HE'S OUT OF A JOB and is poor in cash but rich in heart :P.

at first katsuki put up a fight like he's not going to help unless izuku paid up because he's kind of dick lol. tbh he was just putting on a show because he can't have ppl thinking HE'S FUCKING WEAK to every desperate ppl coming in even tho his price is the cheapest in the area and he takes IN EVERY PET NO MATTER HOW DIRE but then izuku get teary eyes and promise katsuki his spleen if he would help. that is when he knew izuku is going to FUCKING RUIN HIM because then all the animals in the waiting room is giving him a stink eye and are like, "HELP THE POOR HUMAN YOU DUMB DOC". he just want to growl at them to stfu but the dog starts howling and everyone is making noises and he sighs.

he wasn't even going to kick izuku and the injured dog out anyway so he grits his teeth and let himself be bullied in taking in his new patient and a v v v concern izuku. he insistently hovers close by as katsuki perform the surgery on the dog's broken leg. katsuki knows the drill because worry pet parent is part of the job. "she will be fine," he tells izuku.

eyes wide with hope. "really?" he asks, looking all earnest.

"yea, i wouldn't bullshit unless i fucking know for sure," katsuki answers with a snort because he doesnt make empty promises. also because he's fucking good at his job. he takes in every case seriously and pour his blood, sweat, and tears into all their animals that come into his clinic until they're well again. katsuki doesn't love animals,,, he's FUCKING LOVES THEM in his own ornery ways ofc lol.

 esp the pets and animals that come through his clinic, they all have unique personality and stories to tell. they're not humans but to katsuki they might as well be because their life is as precious as any other human being and he wants to make sure none of them die on his table.

"okay, she's cleared from the surgery," katsuki says, informing an anxious looking izuku. "you can take her home in three days." he pauses for a moment with a frown. "consider the wee waived as my good deed of the year. just dont let your pet run off in the street next time."

izuku blinks. "she's not my dog. I just found her."

katsuki stares at him. "you were going to offer your spleen for a dog that isn't EVEN YOURS?!"

izuku nods eagerly. "i just couldnt leave her alone when she's hurt like that. thank you so much, bakugou-san! you're her hero!"

it's then that his life go from somewhat mundane (as much as a vet who can talk to animals can be) to become even more eccentric because of izuku. he somehow acquired another DOG into his pack bc no matter how desperately izuku tried to find her owner he couldn't. she also need a lot of dedicated hands on care but with no prior owner appearing, katsuki begrudgingly takes her on until she finds a new home. even worst, izuku makes it a habit to visit his clinic daily to check up on her and all the animals there perk excitedly at his appearance.

he easily makes friend w/ all the animals, esp the ones recovering from surgery/illness, taking special care of them while katsuki's pack is super curious w/ izuku and  keep hounding katsuki to pay attention to the cute human!! LOOK A VIABLE MATE as katsuki continues to ignore them

katsuki like to thinks he's a hardass but ever since that day izuku keeps bringing in his strays for katsuki to help and katsuki grumble his way through it but never turn izuku away bc as soon as izuku turn his fucking huge green eyes at him,,,, he'd fucking whipped that's what. and izuku has no money and no job, he started stay longer and help out at the clinic as a return for katsuki’s helping out the animals he keeps bringing in. so he just come to clinic pretty much everyday from morning and wouldn't leave till they close it.

his presence there calm the animals and they always look forward to seeing him everyday. even katsuki's regular clients are like, "oh did you hired a new assistant at the clinic? he's such a sweet and helpful boy."

katsuki, eyes twitching, grits out a, "no."

but at this point katsuki pretty much accepted izuku is attached to the clinic now because unlike all the strays izuku brought in with all of them eventually finding a new home later, KATSUKI IS STUCK WITH IZUKU even though this izuku had FOUND HIM FIRST and not the other way around. katsuki is good with animals because they dont take his bullshit and though he has his colleagues who he work with but they knew him long enough to deal with his prickliness longterm but izuku who he only known for a month or 2, sticks close to him and just smile through him being his asshole self. maybe it's because izuku is some kind of animals magnet disney princess bullshit because ofc katsuki would only attract the kind of person that is maybe part animals or some shit because JUST HIS LUCK that he takes in a human stray in the end and can't get rid of izuku even if he wanted to.

there was no point in fighting it now, izuku is here to stay even if he has a habit of attracting all kind of animals and ridiculous to katsuki's peaceful clinic. he ends up hiring izuku to work at the clinic even though izuku been working there for months already lol. izuku who always have a hard time having any permanency in his life because of his animals magnet deposition and maintaining any human relationship because they dont get his obsession with animals, immediately lights up at the news that he's here to stay WITH ALL THE ANIMALS AND KATSUKI.

katsuki who is mean, rough, and yells at him when he messed up but carefully teaches him how to fill out the health form correctly and lets him play with all the animals at the clinic. doesn't even blink when izuku smuggled in an injured bird and put UP WITH IZUKU'S RIDICULOUSNESS!! izuku is half way in love already because katsuki is a good man with the biggest heart around even if he deny it. he can tell by how much his pack loves katsuki, how they are happy and healthy they look and how they were deemed too broken for society but with katsuki they found a perfect home.

izuku doesn't understand the animals but you don't need a common language to see the way katsuki’s dog curl up in his lap when he's working in the office even though that dog is definitely way too big for it, or how his bird hop on his shoulder as he works. it's there in their body language and the way they want to be close to him. animals are honest, they express everything they feel with their entire body so katsuki can huffs and puffs about how he's not a good person but izuku knows. why else would katsuki not charged izuku for all the animals he bring in or get so brutally upset when he couldn't save one of their life.

izuku doesn't push for more because he's happy just having a room in katsuki's life with all these animals around them. while katsuki is SUFFERING because all his animals are yelling at him daily to: "FUCK MATE CUTE HUMAN BOY YOU USELESS TURD."

the fact that they're all invested in katsuki's love life is hilarious because they think he's completely useless at getting a mate and really want him to get it on with IZUKU ALREADY BECAUSE HE'S GETTING INTO HIS PRIME AND HE NEED TO PRODUCE BEFORE HE DIE TO CONTINUE HIS SPECIES!!!

katsuki has to keep telling them that IS NOT HOW HUMANS WORK but his animals keep offering advice like, "offer the head of your beloved's worst enemy as a courting gift", "leave a dead mouse at his house", "build him a beautiful nest" etc. it's great IF IZUKU WASNT A HUMAN. they critique katsuki's "courting skill" relentlessly because izuku is sweet, kind, love animals, and is perfect so like,,, can he hurry and snatch the cute human up already before some other bastard does???? because mating is a battlefield!!! you got to fight for your right to have him!!

at this point, with the constant nagging and all the animals being 'helpful', katsuki kinda just want lean over and tell izuku, "so do you just wanna fuck and start a family with me?" so his animals can stfu and also he'd might have lost his mind a lil there lol

[mchalowitz]

the woman is the king, part three

summary: a throughline of the matriarchal scullys; be they ethereal, sharp-witted, and ill-omened.

i’m very excited to finally share this! definitely the most difficult part to write so far and i hope everyone enjoys it!

part 1: melissa / part 2: dana

part 3: emily

read on ao3

@today-in-fic

———

Two years on, sometimes Scully believes she will be able to survive without her other. A forgotten voice travels from immortal nirvana to her brother’s residential line. She wonders if what she tells herself is true. 

1994; the lost year that exists between them. On an evening in March, returning from a field assignment with Mulder, Melissa leaves a message on her answering machine that Scully can still easily recite. 

Things are too hard right now, Dana. I’m safe, I’m with friends in California. I’ll call soon. I love you.

Dana would never have been the golden child. No one surpasses a squid, especially not a fed with some shifty assignment. A shifty fed fares better than a filthy sinner. Charlie wears excommunication with unsweetened pride. And Melissa, the silly new ager, well, she could take no more.

No one thrives at the center of a Scully family scandal. Scully tries to create a rational narrative. It is 1994. Melissa is pregnant; she doesn’t want the baby. She knows plenty of people on the west coast. It was believable. 

Her beloved sister, Dana, is abducted, and in the four weeks she is missing, Melissa gives birth, and the baby is adopted. Dana resurfaces in a hospital; left practically for dead. Her sister returns to stand vigil at her bedside. 

It becomes a question of mindset. Maggie believes Melissa would have told her; Dana disagrees. Subversion of expectations was the ultimate sin for a Scully child as it was a denouncement of the parenting of William and Margaret. She can attest to her mother’s softening on certain expectations since the death of her father. She still disagrees. 

No time for sulking, only pushing through. Working the case through Christmas clearly infuriates Bill. He keeps it to hushed whispers and snide remarks out of Tara’s earshot. Scully often wonders how privy Tara is to anything going on in the Scully family. 

Her infertility stings when she looks at her sister-in-law. With her cancer now in remission, the other medicals horrors Scully faced start coming back to the surface. It is another slap; the thought that her sister gave away such a sweet little girl while she will never carry a child. 

Scully is a mother. She struggles to quantify what Emily is. 

Emily, a living and breathing child, with the face of a Scully, is a violation of her body that someone stole from her, and yet must be fiercely protected. Perhaps Emily is the missing piece. 

Scully hurriedly fills out the application for temporary custody. It consists of the normal, straightforward questions found on any application, until her hand is hovering over that box. Single or married. 

The only thing happening in sunny San Diego is a completely mundane family Christmas, as far as Mulder is aware. Her words froze during her singular phone call. It seems like reaching out now is more of a bombardment than a simple debrief.

Scully is not in a position to presuppose the enigmatic thoughts of Fox Mulder. Yes, it was by his own volition to marry her and she can even believe that Mulder does love her. It is a mutual respect and a fond devotion. It is not spousal love; not a man that loves his wife. 

If she checks the box, Mulder would have to be a father figure to Emily, and it is not her place to make that decision for him. Their marriage was playing house because she was destined to die and Emily does not deserve to be a flour-sack baby in their labyrinthian game. 

Her pen swipes across the paper. Single. 

--

Mulder starts with M. Mmm. Emily tells him so.

Emily leaves the crayons and paper to go to the bookshelf. Mulder is sitting in the chair by the window and she gives him the book. She points to the yellow bird on the cover.

“What’s his name?”

“I think that’s Big Bird,” Mulder tells her. 

Her Daddy only reads her one book at a time, Mulder reads her three. She goes to the bookshelf for more when Dana comes up close to her. “Emily, Mulder and I have to leave now, but we’ll come back tomorrow.” 

Emily looks at Mulder, holding the book, and he says, “I bet you can find a good spot to keep it safe.” 

She nods and sets the book against the bed, fixing it when it slides down. Dana and Mulder leave. A lady makes her pick up her crayons before dinner.

“I’m tired,” she insists, holding the lady’s hand on the way to eat. 

“First dinner, then bed, Emily.”

--

A duality develops in relation to another atrocity to her body. It is a swift punch to the throat; knocking the breath so deeply out of her lungs. It is also as mundane as adding milk to the shopping list; it is only another thing. 

Her brother’s phone line carries mysteries from one location to another. Landline abandoned, traveling well above the speed limit, Mulder drives toward the children’s home. 

“I could have handled it,” she asserts simply. 

“I know.”

Mulder, with his complexity of a hero, and innate ability to act so hoggish. Scully wonders if he really believes that. 

--

Her blanket at home is pink sparkles and has Barbie on the pillows. Emily doesn’t like her new blanket nearly as much. It’s just plain pink.

The lady from dinner tucks her in. “I met Mr. Potato Head,” Emily informs her. 

Emily doesn’t like the other kids in the new place, especially the boy that calls, “That’s not true! Mr. Potato Head isn’t real.” 

“Yes, he is!” she argues. She struggles to sit up with the blanket holding her back. “I met him and he looks like this!” She puffs out her cheeks, making the same face. 

“That must have been very exciting, Emily,” the lady adds softly, tucking her in again. 

The lights turn off. Emily closes her eyes. She feels cold. 

--

In the work Mulder does with Scully, it is often based more on speculation than he would ever like to admit to anyone. It disgusts him to know that if Emily were any other file in his cabinet, it would bring him joy to map out theories and spar with his partner over them. With the empty coffin staring back at them, Mulder can easily assume a thought is something neither of them want to enter their minds ever again. No hypothesizing to be done here. 

Following the funeral, the San Diego bureau fares slightly kinder than their city’s court system. Their California contact, while deeply apologetic for the tragedy that has occurred here, informs them the field office won’t be actively pursuing the case. Aside from following up on a few leads pertaining to the deaths of Roberta and Marshall Sim, it will likely be deemed a cold case. 

“I’m very sorry, Agent Scully,” the agent says, padding his final blow. Emily’s case will not be investigated either. Both Mulder and Scully understand the algorithm that goes into the decision of pursuing an investigation. If the case fell into the FBI mainstream, Emily’s chronic health issues, use of experimental treatments, and her parents’ full cognizance to the risks wouldn’t stand a chance against the process. 

And if there was anything to investigate, it has already been destroyed by powers far outside the reach of some dinky field office anyway. Whatever the reasoning may be, another Scully woman is still failed by the United States government. 

Scully wants the first flight out of San Diego back to Washington and he is more than quick to oblige her. While she very clearly loves the new addition to her family, the sting is just as obvious. 

Two hours down in the air, three more to go, and they have barely said a word to each other since take-off. Scully’s head is turned toward the window when he reaches for her hand. “Scully,” he speaks, very quietly. 

“No,” she responds with a shake of her head, her voice tight. 

Another long stretch of silence and Mulder thinks she maybe falls asleep, which would be a welcome cause for silence, because he isn’t convinced she’s slept more than an hour or two in days. He is about to request a blanket when her forehead presses into his shoulder and the contact reveals her body shaking with the exertion of holding everything inside yet again. 

It’s his fierce need to protect her always that causes him to envelope her body with his. Her arms wind tightly around his neck. Her attempts to muffle her sobs in his jacket is only partially successful. 

A flight attendant taps him on the shoulder and asks him, “Is everything alright?” 

“Everything’s fine,” Mulder blatantly lies. “But maybe we could get a glass of water for my wife.” 

It's a rare euphoria to speak those words; his wife. Dana Scully is his wife. A mostly unmentioned fact that gives him a childishly nervous feeling in his stomach. While it never retreated in his mind, it appears to be returning to the forefront of hers. 

In the winding process of applying for custody, a second application exists. Scully’s final plea to unite her with her own flesh and blood. Another document that states definitively that they are married. Mulder underwent a grilling from the judge; a practical bullying on the semantics of their marriage. 

One’s subconscious works powerfully, in his experience, and when he sat in this same position on Scully’s couch six months ago, the answer came to him so clearly. It wasn’t only for her benefit as a life experience that everyone should have the opportunity to have if they so choose; cancer only sped up the timeline of an inevitably. Mulder has never taken a mightier leap with her and she accepted. A singular score for Fox Mulder. 

It’s treated as though it never even existed; his presence in that way completely reverted. He wishes he had more of a chance to prove himself worthy. He wishes he was a less of pussy to actually do it. He will, he’s going to. If she is ever willing to forgive him for all of his transgressions. 

Mulder carried the knowledge of her ova and of what was likely (and now, very clearly) done with it with a heaviness that rivaled the many other weights he lugs around inside him. Scully’s hope for recovery was dwindling then and it was only another way to hurt her. 

It felt criminal to hijack her happiness when she went into remission and her bliss honestly fed his soul. Now, he only piles onto her pain. And if he was any kind of man, if he was someone deserving of someday being a person she would maybe, eventually, love for real, he would have been a lot fucking better. 

The flight attendant delivers a glass of water and a box of tissues on a plastic tray. He takes both and offers the glass to Scully. She scoots forward to the edge of her seat, her back straightened, and it reminds him of Bellefleur, and of that young agent in her red robe, and the fear of simple bug bites. It was the moment of cosmiticity bursting into existence between them. 

Scully sips water, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. His eyes never leave her for the rest of the flight. He drives her home under the glow of streetlights. 

“I can keep you company, if you want,” he offers after insisting he carry her suitcase inside for her. “Might even be able to catch a replay of the Rose Bowl if we’re lucky.”

“That won’t be necessary,” she replies. One hand holds the door and the other is braced on the frame; a universal sign to get lost told through her body language. “I’m going to take a few days. I already let Skinner know.” 

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she agrees. “Goodnight, Mulder.” 

“Goodnight, Scully.” 

Once the door is shut, he hears the lock click into place. It pains him to walk away. 

Mulder calls Scully in the morning as promised. He calls every morning after. It just rings and rings. 

--

No one is expecting her back in the office until Monday, but by Thursday it becomes increasingly clear that a return to normalcy is what she requires. Scully can only stare at California girls immortalized by ages in threes on her mantel for so long. 

She trades in her bathrobe for a beige skirt with matching jacket and she slugs down the last of a cup of coffee while she packs her briefcase. The landline rings in its cradle next to her hand. Her stockinged feet slide against the kitchen tile as she turns to answer.

“Hello?”

An unfamiliar female voice carries cheerily into her ear. “Hi there, this is Amanda over at Liberty Fertility Center. I’m looking for Fox Mulder?” 

"This is...” Scully starts, and then she pauses, staring up at the ceiling before answering with a restrained sigh. “This is his wife.” 

“I’m following up on a call we received from your husband earlier this week about a sample being stored at our facility and possible ova analysis. He left this as the call back number.” 

Scully clicks her tongue against her teeth, nodding slowly. She barely focuses on the conversation and when it ends, she retrieves the phone book, slamming it down on the table in place of her briefcase. She dials the first promising number in the correct category. 

Heat overtakes her melancholy. Scully is so, so tired of Mulder blanketing his wrongdoings under the guise of protecting her. It has always, ultimately, been her choice to walk alongside him; it was his choice to marry her. He still fills their partnership, their marriage, with secrets. He still withholds. 

She can only imagine what is being done to her ova sitting in some facility.  Mulder didn’t even have the decency to tell her any even remained.

Scully arrives at the office on Friday and Mulder is immersed in a sea of paperwork and photographs. It is only eight in the morning and he already has his jacket slung over the back of his chair, his sleeves rolled up over his forearms. 

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you until Monday,” he grins with surprised delight. 

Mulder follows her with his eyes as she steps up to his desk. She leans down, kissing him soundly on the mouth, and she observes his dreamy stare when they part.

“I need my ova, Mulder,” she states. Scully pulls a business card out of her pocket; the law firm she called the morning before. “And I want a divorce.” 

[millennialdemon]

Since I intend to watch the Noblesse anime that’s airing right now, I watched the OVA that was released in 2016 a few nights ago. 

I was actually... quite disappointed, since I had heard good things about it! 

And I adjust my expectations accordingly when I go into OVAs, knowing a fleshed out story isn’t usually going to be delivered -- but I expected something moody and cool and with great action and an original premise, at least. 

What I ended up getting... wasn’t moody at all, wasn’t very cool in my opinion, had decent action (not so much choreography, it just had good animation in fights! The last fight, anyway... otherwise nothing wow’d me?) and certainly didn’t have an original premise. So I am scratching my head a little about the positive reception I’ve seen on the web since then...

This isn’t to say it’s bad, because it’s not. It’s fine. A coherently put together OVA adapting a long series is a rarity, even if the narrative within isn’t complicated or terribly compelling. But the cool factor was totally lost on me and nothing about it was as exciting as I had hoped. 

The Noblesse himself was super underwhelming and not once did I think “wow, he’s so cool and strong”. And in an OVA, I don’t mind if a character’s only defining feature is being stoic and overpowered -- but Rai was so passive. The guardian of guardians from legends of old notices his newfound mortal friends are being tailed by non-humans at two different instances, and he does nothing until they get kidnapped and text his butler for help? And I know the lack of urgency is to, er, show how enigmatic and unbothered he is, but he can be enigmatic and unbothered and still put an effort in. Or, if it was to show how naive he is, then that kind of brings into question if he’s fit for his job description. 

Oh, and the humor about Rai not being good at videogames and having to learn New Stuff was quite lame and did nothing to endear me to him... I wish we got to see him really bond with his friends and, I dunno, shake off the dust from being asleep for 820 years to go keep them safe. His interactions with them were so dull and him saving them at the end felt thematically pointless because he had no semblance of a character arc -- and him being so OP he didn’t have to move from his spot to defeat a giant mutated monster man was hardly a reveal. We were told at the beginning he was immensely powerful and it was obvious he was going to tear that man apart in 5 seconds once he made the decision to do so? So again, I felt like I learned nothing about him in the 30 minutes I watched him sit around on screen. 

I have nothing to say about Frankenstein other than when his name was revealed I burst out laughing in real life. The antagonists were perfectly forgettable and the... failed experiments that betrayed them were okay, though I think the time spent showing us their backstory could have been better spent just not doing that. Rai’s newfound high school age friends were alright, with Shin-woo being the best character in the OVA by virtue of his Direct Action approach to every problem that stands in his way. And because seeing a normal human kid throw hands with a mutated vampire in broad daylight without any hesitation was extremely funny and by far the most endearing thing anyone on screen did. 

And minus points for taking place in a high school. And more minus points unto that for having Rai pretend to be a student. He’s thousands of years old by the sound of it, surely you can put him in some sort of teaching position... he could have been an awkward turned eccentric and quickly beloved professor, and he and the students could have learned mutually from each other in that setting instead of teens just being bewildered about him not knowing how to eat ramen. Then he could have saved his students who he came to admire through, you know, actually interacting with them instead of sitting close to them and not saying anything. 

Or this could have just been set in a university instead of a highschool and the only difference would be it would make more sense, and it would be way funnier. But anime. So highschool I guess. A plague on our houses. 

A solid 5/10, I suppose. Here’s to hoping the series breathes a little more life into Noblesse!

[zukalations]

Former Takarazuka Top Star Sagiri Seina reveals her struggles 2 years post-retirement

This interview with Sagiri Seina, former Top Star of Snow Troupe, was published by Oricon on October 5th. The original article was written by Uehara Kahori, and there are many pictures on the original website, so please click through!

Former Takarazuka Top Star Sagiri Seina reveals her struggles 2 years post-retirement

Sagiri Seina was formerly the otokoyaku Top Star of the Takarazuka Revue’s Snow Troupe, and currently has a career as an actress and TV personality. While in the Revue, she was an otokoyaku beloved of many Takarazuka fans, setting historic records such as ‘5 successive [Grand Theatre] shows selling over 100% capacity’. Now, 2 years after retiring from Takarazuka, she is beginning to increase the breadth of her professional activities, including announcing that she has signed with a talent agency and the publication of her first book. We asked her about aspects of her time in Takarazuka that she can only talk about now, the difference between ideals and reality as regarding the otokoyaku she longed to be, how she spent the first two years after her retirement, and her plans for the future.

2 years post-retirement spent being active and recharging

Oricon: In August of this year, you announced that you had signed to a talent agency. Can you explain your motivations for the timing of this ‘new start’, 2 years after your retirement?

Sagiri: Ever since I was 14, I had been pouring all my passion into my dream of “I want to be an otokoyaku” come true, so I had to deal with the idea of “do I really have passion left to put into anything else?” for a while after retiring. After 2 years, I discovered a new ‘future self’, and I realized that I could go at my own pace without stressing about just ‘passion’, so I started to think that it was fine to just be flexible with what I was doing. A big part of it is that I realized I want to do more different things, and that I should do more things, I think.

Oricon: We heard that in the 2 years after you retired, you tried a lot of different challenging things you weren’t able to do before.

Sagiri: I tried kickboxing and bouldering. I think I want to try learning karate next. I had to avoid skiing while I was in Takarazuka. Therefore, I’d like to try going skiing again sometime. Basically I’ve been enjoying lots of physical activity. Also, while I was a member of Takarazuka, I didn’t have the spiritual composure, or the time, to go and see non-Takarazuka stage productions. After retiring, it made me happy just to sit and watch a movie while eating popcorn, and I also went to watch a lot of musicals and prose plays. Also, I was able to go hang out at Disneyland after holding myself back while I was in Takarazuka!

Oricon: You hadn’t been able to go until then?

Sagiri: While I was a junior actress, I would go as many times as I felt like, but once I was put in a position where I had responsibilities, I started to think that it would be better to take the energy I’d spend on a Disneyland excursion and use it in performance instead (laughs). Now I’m able to put that energy towards other things. I’m relaxing and enjoying myself to the utmost. That’s how I’m spending my time. The 2 years after my retirement were like a recharging period for me.

Oricon: So it took you 2 years to recharge fully, is that it?

Sagiri: Now that I think about it, I did need all of that time. The first year, I whole-heartedly enjoyed just feeling the four seasons change. “Wow, the Japanese summer is so hot!” and “The cherry blossoms are incredibly beautiful,” and “It’s so great to see everyone out enjoying their flower viewing,” I’d think about all of that. It took about a year to regain my identity as a Japanese person and as a human being.

Oricon: How did you spend the second year?

Sagiri: During that time I was trying to regain my original self as a woman. While I was already doing some stage performances and TV appearances right after retiring, I kept thinking “I have to make sure I live in a way that doesn’t disappoint my fans as a former otokoyaku”, so I think I was straining myself a bit. Once I got to the second year, I was able to relax and realize “even without the ‘backbone’ I gained from Takarazuka, I’m still me.”

If I hadn’t become Top Star, I might have stayed in Takarazuka as long as they would let me

Oricon: In any case, it seems that retiring from Takarazuka after 17 years in the company must have been a huge decision.

Sagiri: Retiring from Takarazuka was a huge turning point in my life. In Takarazuka, passing things down to the next generation is very important. That’s something that I felt while I was in Takarazuka as I saw watched various Top Stars and would see them off as their junior, so I feel that as Top, the timing in which I passed that baton on wasn’t merely up to my own desires…

Oricon: If you had been able to choose your own time of retirement…?

Sagiri: If I’d had to choose for myself, I think I would have gone forever without being able to make the decision to quit. Maybe I was only able to retire because as Top Star I had to pass on that baton to the next generation… I felt that Takarazuka was the only place that would let me be the ‘otokoyaku’ I had always admired, so I might still be there forever (laughs).

Being praised on things I felt were my weak points gave me confidence

Oricon: Upon becoming Top Star, you set a record by having 5 successive shows in the Takarazuka Grand Theatre run at over 100% capacity. Due to your making a record like that for the first time in Takarazuka, just hearing the name Sagiri Seina makes me think of your brilliant career, but what do you think looking back on it?

Sagiri: When I was younger, I had an internal concept of the ideal otokoyaku I wanted to perform as. I wanted to be a really dependable, powerful kind of man. But no matter how much effort I put into performing, I realized that I couldn’t play the kind of male characters that I admired. It took me some time to accept that there was a difference between what I wanted to perform, and what I was capable of performing.

Oricon: Did you try things to become closer to your ideal?

Sagiri: In Takarazuka, [otokoyaku] dance wearing 7-cm heels, but since I was so self-conscious about my short height I would add another 1 or 2 centimeters on top of that. I felt like just that wasn’t enough, so during my first couple of years, I would also do my hair so it stood up really high. The more energy I was putting into seeming tall, the higher my bangs would get (laughs). But little by little I realized that this looked really imbalanced and wasn’t doing me any favors. I was putting too much effort into the wrong things while trying to cover for my height.

Oricon: What was it that led to you accepting ‘the difference between ideals and reality’?

Sagiri: When I received praise for attributes that I had considered by shortcomings. When people would tell me “You’re so small, but your dancing is so big!” I thought “I look big even though I’m being compared to really large people!” and gained a lot of confidence. Also, when a hometown friend came to see me, they said “Since you’re little, I can spot where you are right away!” which made me think “Maybe this is actually a lucky thing!?” and start to see what I had such a complex about as an advantage.

I want to show my juniors that you can do well for yourself even after leaving Takarazuka

Oricon: Now that you have retired from Takarazuka, is there someone you see as a goal to emulate?

Sagiri: If you asked me “What kind of person do you want to become”, I actually don’t have anyone I could point to and say “this person”. Of course there are lots of people I think are amazing, and lots of people I admire, but as for my ‘ideal’, since I’ve had so many experiences of failure to achieve an ideal, I think I want to find what only I can do and aim for that.

Oricon: From talking to you today, it sounds like you might demonstrate a new path for life as a Takarazuka graduate.

Sagiri: I want to walk a path that lets all the girls who are currently in Takarazuka look at what I’m doing and think “Even after leaving Takarazuka we’ll be alright.” Since I served as the ‘face’ of Takarazuka for three years, I want to fulfill that responsibility thoroughly.

She dreams of marriage to someone she can walk through life with while mutually encouraging each other

Oricon: Can you tell us about your prospects for the future or things you want to challenge yourself with?

Sagiri: There are still tons of people who have never heard of Sagiri Seina, so I want to take on work that lets me appear where those people can see me. I’m being taken good care of by an agency that seems like they’ll be able to help me achieve that reality, so it’s exciting to think that I’ll have more of those opportunities coming up. I’m determined to do everything I can as an expressive performer, so my current dream is to challenge myself in all kinds of ways and have more people know me.

Oricon: Finally, is there something you want for your private life?

Sagiri: Marriage! (laughs) Before I signed with the agency, I told them “One day, I hope to get married.” I think being married would feel really different compared to my current unmarried state. I want to experience that feeling. I think having someone I could walk through life with, mutually encouraging each other, and personally creating a new group of companions called a ‘family’ with someone would definitely be a joyful experience.

[gilbertsannegirl]

She Had Dreamed Some Brilliant Dreams During the Past Winter

Merry Christmas to @anne-shirley-blythe! Sorry it’s late but I had a lot of fun writing this fic for you and I hope that you thoroughly enjoy it. Hope you had a wonderful christmas x And thank you @kindredspiritssecretsanta (@royalcordelia) for throwing such a wonderful event and can’t wait for next year to roll around again.

Read it on AO3

Last Years Fic

Summary: An AU story set in their second year of college, my take on Anne and Gilbert’s engagement. This particular story is set a year after my Christmas story last year, so it makes more sense if you read that once first, but you don’t have to.

-

Crisp snow crunched under Gilbert Blythe’s boots and broke the silence of the early morning. The earth was still at rest and the sun had begun to peak over the blanket of white that covered every surface of the ground. Having fallen during the night, the snow was almost unbroken by sleds or feet. However, there was a sure path from the Blythe’s front porch all the way to the gate of Green Gables where the culprit now stood. In the gloom of the morning, Gilbert could just make out the window of the east gable that belonged to his beloved. In the act of a supposed grand gesture, he located a few small pebbles peaking out from under the snow and carefully threw them at Anne’s window.

 A rustle of curtains revealed her. Still clad in her nightwear, she gestured for him to stay right where he was, and Gilbert couldn’t help the sly grin and chuckle that escaped as soon as he saw her.

 “It is so very Anne of her to go along with my ridiculousness, isn’t it?” he murmured, facing away from the window now and looking out on the expanse of the white world in front of him. In the gloom of the dawn Gilbert could see the lights of various farmers’ homes begin to flicker into existence. Although not the most ideal weather, he still loved crisp winter mornings such as these. Tomorrow would bring Christmas and hopefully a new season of his life.

 The door to Green Gables creeped open, and despite Anne’s best efforts a quiet screech from the worn hinges echoed through the silence. Gilbert turned to see her step out of the house. She was wrapped in a scarf and winter coat and was pulling gloves on as she slunk across the porch. He thought she had never looked more beautiful with the red glow of the morning light painting shadows across her face, highlighting freckles and tendrils of hair peaking out from under her hat.

 “Gilbert Blythe,” she hissed. “What do you think you are doing sneaking around at this hour in the morning? Rachel will have my head if she knows I’ve come out to see you so early.” She sighed then, tipping her head up to feel the early sunlight crawl under the exposed skin of her face, the warmth flooding her cheeks. “Oh, but it is so good to see you. When did you get back?” She stepped closer, bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck, fingers playing with the curls at the back of his head.

 Gilbert wrapped his arms around her waist. “Well, Miss. Shirley, I think Mrs. Lynde knows by now that you are not fully to blame for everything that happens between us. Considering that I am the one who took us for a picnic in the snow last year, which was probably not the best idea.” Anne grinned at that, and he continued, “You know, I rather like these early mornings, they bring out the green in your eyes.” She hummed, and he took the opportunity of a deserted world to press his lips against hers briefly. “And to answer your question, I came back last night and was dying to see you.” She sighed and pulled him closer, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. Gilbert reciprocated.

 The creaky step broke their embrace, and both spun to see Davy rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. “Gee Gilbert I sure bet Anne is glad to see you,” he yawned. “But isn’t it awful early to be going out?” They smiled politely at him and both saw the young man Davy was growing to be since the summer of their last visit. He was standing much taller now and was beginning to take on most of the duties around the farm with the help of Mr. Harrison.

 “Right you are, Davy-boy. But you see, Anne and I need to get over to Carmody to do some shopping for my mother’s Christmas Eve dinner which you know you are all invited to. Besides, it can be a bit tricky on these roads and you never know when you can run into some trouble with the sleigh. We best be leaving and you best be starting to work around here I suppose. We won’t keep you, just let the others know that I’ve whisked Anne away this morning, will you?” Gilbert grinned at Davy’s curt nod, “Thank you.”

 “Thank you Davy, we’ll be back before lunch,” Anne finished. With a wave, Gilbert and Anne went to the stables to hitch up the sleigh. She grabbed the blankets while he checked to see if everything was in order with the sleigh and they weren’t in danger of anything breaking on them. Gilbert nodded at Anne and they both climbed in, carefully arranging and draping blankets over themselves. He winked at her as he slid one hand under the blanket to grasp hers, and she laughed, “Gilbert, don’t you need both hands to drive the sleigh?”

 “On the contrary, Anne-girl, I think I can do it with one hand if it means I can hold yours,” he replied smugly, and leaned forward to plant a kiss on her cheek. She beamed at him as he clicked the reins and the horse plodded forwards leaving behind the stables for the open plains of Avonlea. “Oh, I also have a few planned stops along the way. I figured you wouldn’t mind coming out early to spend some time together before we have to return to be with our families. I think we rather deserve it after the beginning of the school year we’ve had, considering that I’ve only just come back from finishing my examinations.”

 “Don’t you think we spend enough time together already, Gil? I can hardly deter you from Patty’s Place as it is,” she teased. He chuckled, rolling his eyes in fondness and she tucked herself more into his side. There was a certain air between them that had always existed, although Anne hardly saw it until a year ago with that picnic in the snow. A teasing relationship filled with mutual respect for each other’s wisdom, wit and character. She realised after the kiss under the mistletoe last year that they had always been and forever would be kindred spirits, soulmates, life partners, and best friends.

 The sleigh came to a halt and Anne looked out of the sleigh, her eyes landing on Barry’s Pond or, as she had named it, the Lake of Shining Waters. At this time of year, however, there wasn’t much lake left because of the glistening ice that lay firm over the water’s surface. She glanced back at Gilbert and saw his eyes shifting over her as if he was memorising everything about her. She raised her eyebrows. Shaking his head and shifting his eyes back to hers, he murmured, “Do you remember the time that I asked you to be my friend by the waters edge?” He chuckled then, “You were so petty, considering that I had just saved your life.” Grinning as Anne gave him a playful slap on the arm, “Ouch! A feisty one too; matches your hair, Carrots.”

 “Oh, you really thought I would forgive you after everything you did, Mr. Blythe? I hardly thought you were worthy of redemption; it was only later that I regretted everything I said to you that day. You really went and ignored me after that? I don’t think that helped the situation at all, dearest.” Gilbert gave a sigh at that, and Anne dropped her red head into the crook of his neck. He felt her lips move before hearing the words, “I love you, and I love you all the more for forgiving me after the fool I made of myself in the first five years of knowing each other.”

 “I love you too, Anne-girl. I’ve loved you since the day you broke that slate over my head, and I’ll love you until our journey comes to an end,” Gilbert replied, kissing her hair.

 “Oh Gil! How did I ever tell Marilla that you weren’t my idea of a romantic suitor when you are the most romantic person I know?” Anne grinned, pulling her head out of his neck. Gilbert beamed leaning forward to place a soft, slow kiss on her lips.

 “Come now, don’t get all sentimental on me yet. I still have one more place to take you before Carmody and it seems the sun is only getting higher in the sky, my love.” Gilbert started the horses on a trot again and Anne hummed as she watched the trees overcrowd the image of her beloved lake. Being whisked around Avonlea by Gilbert on a cold winters day wasn’t unusual, but Anne wished they would go somewhere warm soon. The cold air was bringing out an unflattering flush to her cheeks, highlighting her freckles and hair. This was both to Anne’s annoyance and Gilbert’s pleasure.

 It was to her slight dismay when he slowed to a stop outside the group of trees she knew so well. It was certainly not warm in there, but then again she had missed the Dryad’s Bubble immensely during her semester at Redmond. She side-eyed Gilbert who possessed a smug grin, before saying, “Oh, so this has become our Christmas Eve spot? Alright then Gilbert, but I don’t really want to walk all the way in there. It’s snowed a lot more this year and I’m not sure that we can make it in.”

 “Not to worry, Anne-girl.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him before replying, “I was just going to sit out here and reminisce on last year. Do you remember what I gave you for Christmas?”

 Anne beamed. “How could I forget? Darling, I wear it every day, you know that.” She fished under her coat for the delicate necklace, the small pink heart glistened against her palm as she looked down at it. “Oh, it’s the most wonderful gift I’ve ever received, besides you of course.”

 It was Gilbert’s turn to blush, and before he could talk himself out of it he whispered, “Well I have a far greater gift for you this year. How would you like another piece of jewellery, my love?” Anne’s brows furrowed and she pulled back from him a little, dropping the pendant back against her throat. “The promise that comes along with this though is far more precious and it would mean the world if you say yes.”

 “Gil… Do you mean…?” Anne’s eyes began to well up and Gilbert pulled out a circlet of peals, a ring she had dreamed about for years, “Gilbert Blythe, are you really asking me this?” A tear slid down her cheek and Gilbert quickly brought his thumb up to catch it.

 “Yes, my dear Anne-girl. I’m asking you this, and I mean it with all my heart. I don’t want anything more in this life than you! We’ve been officially courting for a year, but I think I’ve been courting you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I think 9 years is long enough to make a man wait, don’t you?” Anne laughed, her throat choking on the sound. “So, my lovely Anne, will you marry me?”

 “Oh, darling you don’t need to ask twice! Yes, with all my heart, yes!” Anne flung her arms around him now crying openly against his neck, the pearls he bought suiting the saying pearls are for tears in that very moment. She pulled back from the embrace placing her hands on either side of his face, her thumbs running under his eyes to catch his wayward tears. She brought her lips to his in an unhurried kiss.

 Gilbert pulled away first. “Anne I’ll put this ring on your finger on one condition.” Her eyes met his, glistening with the unshed tears she was somewhat holding back and nodded her head at him. “We get married as soon as possible. I know that we still have two years of college left, and then I have three years of medical school, God willing. But Anne-girl promise me we’ll get married as soon as we can afford to, because I don’t think I can wait five more years to wake up to your face every morning.”

 “Gil, even if our families think we are crazy, as soon as we finish our Arts degrees, I am marrying you. I promise you every day of my life from this point onwards. Oh Gil, I love you so!” Anne flung her arms back around his neck and Gilbert gasped at her boldness but wrapped his arms around her waist all the same. He pushed her away a little bit and grabbed her hand, sliding the snug ring into place, and Anne knew it had always belonged there. No questions asked, they would be married in two and a half years.

 Gilbert directed the sleigh towards Carmody, and they rode away together, crowned king and queen in the bridal realm of love, along winding paths fringed with the sweetest flowers that ever bloomed, and over haunted meadows where winds of hope and memory blew.*

 *Anne of the Island, Chapter 41 Love Take Up the Glass of Time

[serenlyss]

Concordat

Rating: G Relationships: ritsu&reigen, ritsu&shigeo Summary: He’s expecting another old woman searching for a beloved family cat, or maybe a young man concerned about a cheating partner, but instead he finds himself face-to-face with a kid. “Is this… Spirits and Such Detective Agency?" (When Reigen Arataka, PI, decided to pursue a career as a detective, he'd never expected to take on a missing persons case. Then again, he hadn't expected to receive said case from a literal child, either, and yet, here he is.) Crossposted to AO3: Concordat

Concordat - An agreement or treaty relating to matters of mutual interest.

This is a gift for my dear friends @winsstar-writes and @pigpantpoop on tumblr for their Detective AU, which I've just fallen in love with so fast hahaha. So here's more Ritsu and Reigen content bc I love their dynamic So Much. I hope you two like it, ily <3

---

Reigen sinks into his office chair, letting his whole body slouch with a long sigh. Business is slow at the agency today, and he’s bored out of his mind waiting for someone to show up and give him something to do. Outside his window, he can hear rain hitting the sill, a gentle summer storm outside chasing the pedestrians indoors. He has no clients scheduled for the rest of the day, and it’s only just past lunch, which means he’s going to spend the rest of the work day sitting around, doing nothing.

He rummages around in his suit pocket for a cigarette and lighter, leaning over his desk. He holds the cigarette between his lips and lights it up, uncaring of the cloud of smoke that leaves his lips and hangs around him. Briefly, he thinks that he must stink of it, and that it won’t make a very good impression if a client walks in on him smoking in his own office, but he can’t bring himself to care, today. He leans back in the chair again, blowing smoke toward the ceiling. Maybe I should just pack it up, move on to something else, he laments with a frown. He’d left a comfortable office job for this, but, well, he’d always been a bit of a drifter. Perhaps the detective life just isn’t what he’s cut out for, after all.

The chime of a bell reaches his ear as the front door to his office is opened, and he hastily moves to put out his cigarette, pressing it down into the ashtray at the corner of his desk. “Come in,” he calls, voice cracking slightly as he attempts to put on his cheerful customer service voice, and pushes himself up from his chair to greet his guest.

He’s expecting another old woman searching for a beloved family cat, or maybe a young man concerned about a cheating partner, but instead he finds himself face-to-face with a kid.

“Is this… Spirits and Such Detective Agency?” asks the literal child who’s come to greet him. He can’t be older than ten, considering the primary school uniform he wears, and he looks up at Reigen from beneath a furrowed brow, dark gray eyes scrutinizing him carefully. His black hair sticks up in all directions, like he’d just rolled out of bed before coming here. Reigen is deeply unimpressed, but, well, it can’t hurt to humor a child for a little while.

“Yeah, this is the place. What can I do for you?” Reigen asks, opting for a plastic smile as he beckons the boy inside.

The boy shuffles a bit on his feet, looking around the office with undeniable skepticism written all over his face, and then reluctantly takes a step inside. The door falls quietly shut behind him, and he hovers in the entryway. His gaze is more deliberate and calculating than most adult clients Reigen’s had. “You’re the detective?” he clarifies, flashing Reigen that uncertain look again.

Reigen resists the urge to sigh. What was with this kid? “Reigen Arataka, PI, at your service! I must say, I don’t get a lot of kids coming here, though. What’s the matter, you lose something?” He can’t fathom why an elementary school student would come to him for answers, of all people, or what a kid would find so important that he’d need the help of a detective to find. It must be some kind of prank.

The kid shakes his head, clinging to the straps of his backpack as though he can’t figure out what else to do with his hands. “No--I mean, yes, but not like what you’re--I’m looking for my brother!” he stammers, fumbling over his words nervously. He looks away, seemingly embarrassed, his face flushed pink. “Nobody else I talked to would take me seriously… the police keep saying they’re going to find him, but they won’t even listen to me when I tell them--” Suddenly, the kid freezes, cutting himself off abruptly.

The mention of a missing brother makes Reigen pause in his tracks, halfway to his desk where he usually sits and consults with clients. He’s an only child himself, but the thought of losing a sibling… He shakes his head, turning to face the boy and raising a brow at him. “Tell them what?” he prompts, though he honestly isn’t really sure he wants to know.

The kid looks up at him with uncertainty, eyes filled with distrust, then glances away again. “My brother… he was kidnapped because he’s an esper,” he mumbles, and quickly adds, “I know it sounds stupid and crazy, but it’s true! I’ve tried to tell the police, but they don’t listen to me! Your sign said you specialize in psychic cases, right?”

Reigen freezes. He’d known at the time that adding that caveat was a stupid idea, but he hadn’t expected anyone to come to him about a missing esper. He’d only done it to attract the easily-manipulated types, the older folks who believe in spirits and the gullible people who think throwing around a little table salt is enough to exorcise them, but this is in a league of its own. “Esper?” he echoes, feeling the dread inside of him multiply.

“Yeah, that’s what I said!” The boy says, impatient. “Everyone keeps telling me to give it more time, but it’s been months now. I can’t give up on finding him!” He fixes Reigen with what is potentially the most determined expression the man has ever seen on such a young child, hands balled into tight fists that quiver with barely-contained emotion. “So? You can do it, right?”

For a few long moments, Reigen can do nothing but stare, and then he clenches his teeth, glaring. “Is this some kind of joke?” he blurts, annoyed. “It’s not funny, kid, so just give it up already.” The words come out a bit harsher than he intends them to be, a hint of spite behind them, but he can’t find it in himself to be remorseful.

He expects the kid to give up then, to either admit to his prank or burst into tears or do some other kid thing, but instead he gets angry. “I’m not lying!” he snaps, stomping a foot on the floor in his outburst. “Two months ago, my older brother disappeared while he was walking home from school. I wasn’t there ‘cause I was in the hospital, but I know he wouldn’t have just wandered off! Someone took him, and I need to find him!” He’s rambling, the words tumbling from his mouth without much forethought, and Reigen can practically feel his desperation in the air. He continues, “I-I can’t just leave things the way they were, I can’t. I have to find him, I’m going to find him. I have to be someone for him, be there for him! If I don’t try, then what kind of lousy brother am I?”

The kid sniffles and reaches up to his eyes, just inches in front of Reigen, and it’s only then that Reigen realizes that the child has begun to cry, big crocodile tears that leave his eyes red and puffy and his nose a little wet. He can feel his brain short-circuiting at the sight of the crying boy; he has very little experience with kids, and would never, in a thousand years, consider himself the kind of person a child goes to for help or comfort. And yet here one is, crying in the middle of his office and all but begging for his help. He takes a breath, steadying his racing thoughts. I’ve never attempted a missing person case before, he thinks to himself, but something keeps him from outright refusing. Ask me to find a cat, sure, but a whole-ass person? I’m not equipped for this… Then again, had he ever really been equipped for a job? He’d always prided himself on being flexible with the kinds of jobs he would take--’flexible’ is a lot nicer of a word than ‘unqualified’--and, well, crying children have a certain persuasion of their own about them.

He isn’t sure what possesses him to do it, but he reaches up and pulls the tan hat from his head, pressing it against the boy’s mop of dark hair with a gentle puff. “Alright, enough of the tears. It’s not exactly my line of work, but what the hell--heck, what the heck?” He corrects himself with a cringe of embarrassment, but the kid doesn’t seem to mind all that much as he peeks out from beneath the brim of Reigen’s too-large hat in bewilderment. “Why don’t we start with a name, huh? Since you barged in here and demanded I help you out.”

The boy blinks, and a little light returns to his dark gaze. “Oh, my brother’s name is Shigeo,” he says, a little breathless, like he’s still processing the fact that he’s finally receiving the help he’s been searching for.

“Well, I was talking about your name, but that’s important, too,” Reigen corrects, flashing the boy an amused smile.

The boy flinches, and immediately the bewilderment is gone, replaced by a childish little pout that’s probably meant to be angry but comes across more endearing instead. Endearing… god, what is wrong with me today? Reigen berates himself. He’s in way over his head. “Kageyama Ritsu,” the boy replies stiffly, clearly embarrassed and attempting to hide it behind a stubborn frown.

Reigen moves over to his desk and flips his pad open to a new page, retrieving a pen and starting to jot down the two names. There will be lots of details to gather, still, but for now he’ll stick to the basics. Once he’s written down the two names and started to organize his messy thoughts, he gestures Ritsu over to sit in the chair across from him. He sets his pen down and clasps his hands in front of him on the desk, putting on his business face. “Alright, then, Ritsu, let’s talk.”

[kyouryokusenshi]

How Maggie Stole Christmas

For: @suitablyaggrieved and organized by @xfilesfanficexchange @gaycrouton

Summary: Mulder hasn't really celebrated Christmas since Samantha was taken and unbeknownst to Scully, he receives an invite from Maggie to celebrate with the Scully family!

Notes: This was such a fun prompt to write. :) Many thanks to @monikafilefan & @ceruleanmilieu and @rationalcashew for the beta!

Mulder sat idly, drumming his fingers on the surface of his desk as Scully placed a folder into the filing cabinet with a resigned sigh. He looked up as she turned toward him, knowing it was time to go home for the next few days and weather out the storm brought on by St. Nick.

Caddyshack , his beloved video collection, and The Twilight Zone all awaited him at home as he suffered year after year in silence with a box of Chinese takeout on top of his coffee table. Top all that off with a booze cruise to nowhere and it was golden.

"Mulder? You alright?" Her voice permeated his thoughts, making him realize he was staring straight through her as she was trying to get his attention.

He looked up suddenly and nodded. "Yeah, Scully. I'm… alright."

She regarded him skeptically for a moment. "It's time to go, Mulder. Go home and get some rest."

He nodded reluctantly before he got to his feet. He could hear Scully's heels clicking against the linoleum, indicating her retreat as he moved to retrieve his jacket.

"Monday will be here before you know it. I don't want to spend another second in this office," Scully remarked by the door, her body language clearly indicating that she wasn't leaving the office without him.

"Alright, alright. Right behind you, I'll catch up."

Scully rolled her eyes as she made her retreat, "If you're not out in five, I'm sending in the cavalry in."

He wouldn't bet against it either. Grabbing his suitcase, he moved around the desk to the row of file cabinets. Pulling out a file, he slipped it into his briefcase and hurried after Scully.

Together, they entered the parking garage and Mulder followed Scully to her car.

"Give your mom my best for me, would ya?" Mulder grinned. "Bill, too."

Scully rolled her eyes as she looked back at him with a smirk. "I'm sure the feeling is mutual."

As she piled her things into her car, Scully looked back up at Mulder and smiled as he held the door. "Merry Christmas, Mulder. Promise me you won't be doing any work while we're off the next few days."

"Pinky swear."

Scully shook her head as she gently moved to squeeze Mulder's arm. "Goodnight, Mulder. Call me if you need anything."

"I can't imagine that I will," he quipped as he watched her get into the car. With a quick smile and a wave, he gazed on as her car disappeared toward the exit of the building.

He felt a sense of melancholy at her departure and shuddered against the cold before making his way to his own vehicle.

-----

Mulder tossed and turned as the illumination of the TV flickered before him, contrasting against the darkness. However, his focus was not on the TV but rather on Christmases of Times past. He couldn't recall the last time he had a truly normal Christmas. Ever since Samantha's disappearance, his parents had put in minimal effort around the holidays.

On the drive home, he had taken a longer route through suburban Virginia, watching several families bustle about in the snow and admiring the gorgeous displays of lights adorned on the modest homes. A stark contrast to his empty, mundane apartment which lacked warmth and mirth. He was too busy and it was just him. No sense in decorating a place he really just used for sleep.

Aside from that fact, the holidays brought nothing but depressing memories. The exception to the rule had been just last year when he and Scully were investigating that haunted house and Scully was unable to make it to her family's on time. Well, if he was being honest with himself, that last part was fully intentional. Scully had decided to show up at his place when she should have been opening up gifts with her family.

A small part of him couldn't help but hope she might show up at his door and rescue him from the endless black hole his mind kept wandering into. He closed his eyes before pushing himself upright, reaching for the X-File he’d stuffed in his suitcase before pouring his second annual celebratory shot of Jagermeister.

The piercing sound of a ringing phone made him jump, resulting in the liquid spilling down his shirt. "Shit!"

The phone continued to ring as he often let it. With a glance at the clock, he wondered who would be calling at eleven at night. He fetched a paper towel and dried his shirt as the answering machine came on.

"Fox," a familiar voice started to speak. "Maggie Scully, Dana's mom." In one swift motion, Mulder all but lunged at the phone, retrieving the phone from its cradle.

"Hello, Mrs. Scully?" He asked breathlessly, his heart racing in his chest. "Everything okay?" He asked before the older woman could respond.

"Yes," the matriarch Scully was quick to insist, assuaging his fears almost as if she anticipated them.

Mulder closed his eyes with relief, already having imagined more than a dozen scenarios where Scully might have been in some kind of trouble.

"Don't worry. Actually, I was calling because Dana had told me you don't usually go anywhere during the holidays. In fact, she suspected you might be working right now," she said.

Mulder nodded, having poured himself another shot and inhaling the glass' continents. "Hmm, she did, huh? Well, no need to worry. Tell Doc I'm taking good care of myself."

"Fox," Maggie implored in a tone usually reserved for chiding one of her children. Mulder raised his eyebrows at her sudden change in tone.

"I, actually, wanted to invite you over for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow."

Mulder was taken by surprise and set his shot glass down before he had another accident. He was touched. "I appreciate the gesture, Mrs. Scully, I really do, but I couldn't possibly intrude."

"Nonsense, Fox. I insist. Unless you have some other arrangements."

"No, just the usual movies and takeout."

"Then, I'm not asking, Fox."

Mulder couldn't help but smile. "As long as you're certain I wouldn't be putting you out."

"I'm positive."

"Alright. Do you need anything tomorrow? I'm more than happy to pick it up and bring it by."

"You just worry about getting yourself here. Five o’clock, but you can come earlier if you'd like. You're welcome to attend the Midnight Mass with us as well."

"I might take a raincheck on that one." They both laughed.

"Alright, you had better be here, Fox, or I'll send the cavalry after you."

Mulder chuckled. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

----

Mulder had slept soundly shortly after that phone call. He called it a night almost immediately after, as he had little time and presents to pick out and wrap before the drive out to Mrs. Scully's place.

Waking up the following morning was almost magical as Mulder slid off his new mattress and padded toward the window overlooking the city. He often overslept during the holidays as he really had nothing to get him out of bed aside from a case.

He quickly dressed and headed out, determined to buy appropriate holiday wear for the occasion and gifts for the family. Speaking of gifts, he really had no idea what to buy. He rarely shopped for anyone, aside from Scully last year. Scully. He felt his heart thud wildly in his chest. He wondered if Maggie's invitation was Scully's idea or exclusively hers. Either way, Scully must have told her about his plans, or lack thereof, around this time of year.

Navigating the mall filled Mulder with anxiety. He definitely was not used to any of this. He ended up picking out several sports items he figured might be good for someone like Bill- he just hoped he wasn't wrong in assumption as it could easily land him in a world of hurt.

He spent a good time window shopping until he came across a pink cashmere sweater that he knew would look perfect on Scully. As he browsed, he tried to decipher whether she was an extra small or small. He eventually settled on a small to be safe.

A few hours later, he had all of the presents picked out, hoping he had a little something for everyone as he didn't even think to ask Maggie who would all be in attendance. Scully had recently mentioned that her youngest brother, Charlie, was estranged from the family. Scully had never gone into detail and he never pushed, but he got the sense that it was of Charlie's own volition to distance himself from the family. Although, he couldn't understand why. Maggie always had mirth that was so contagious and always spread to anyone she encountered. He never felt anything but welcome when it came to Scully's family, with the exception of Bill.

When Mulder returned home, it was getting close to three and he felt like a madman rushing to wrap all of the gifts before he had to leave for Mrs. Scully's. He had even found an oddly appropriate ugly sweater to spread the holiday cheer he was seriously lacking each year.

Somehow, he managed to wrap everything and get himself appropriately dressed in record speed before he was off to Mrs. Scully's. For the first time, he actually looked forward to celebrating the normally dreaded holiday but, most of all, it was another opportunity to have an excuse to celebrate with Scully.

----

Mulder took a deep breath as he ascended the porch steps leading to Mrs. Scully's home. The exterior of her home reminded him of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine with its pristine landscaping and potted plants. The warmth inside of the home that he had been fortunate to experience on a few occasions certainly matched the welcoming exterior.

His heart pounded in his ears as he waited for the door to open, his arms full of gifts. He took a deep breath as the door opened to reveal Scully's stunned expression.

"Mulder?"

Mulder opened his mouth, fumbling for words. He certainly hadn't expected this reaction. Before either could speak, Maggie Scully appeared behind her daughter. "Oh, Fox, you made it!" she beamed.

Scully turned to look at her mother, her mouth wide. "Mom, you didn't tell me you invited Mulder over… "

Maggie said nothing as she moved past her daughter and enveloped Mulder with a big hug, steering him inside.

"Well, don't be a stranger. Come in!"

Mulder looked at Scully and shrugged as he followed her mother. Maggie smiled at her daughter as she closed the door behind her.

"How thoughtful! I'll take those from you, Fox," Maggie said as she reached for the large bag of presents. "You may as well be St. Nick," she added cheerfully as she walked into the living room.

Mulder turned towards Scully, taking in the Santa hat she was wearing in addition to the sweater swallowing her up. It was pinned with various ornaments and tinsel followed by Ho-Ho-Ho lettering. "You didn't know? I swear, I didn't want to intrude. But your mom insisted," Mulder quickly defended himself.

Scully shook her head. "No. I mean, I normally hate surprises and she should have told me, but this is a good surprise. You need some normalcy in your life, Mulder."

Mulder sighed with relief. "Uh, thanks. I think?"

"She must have called you after I told her about our little adventure last year."

Mulder nodded slowly. "Ah, I see."

"Not everything, of course," she added in quickly. "By the way, nice sweater," she teased, pointing at the giant Rudolph on the front of his chest.

"Right back at you, Scully," he grinned. "You really went all out."

Scully rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Mulder."

Mulder smiled as Scully led him into the large family room, both of them mentally preparing themselves for Bill's wrath.

When Mulder spotted him, Tara, and a young toddler that he presumed was Matthew, Bill stood up from the table immediately. That was when Mulder noticed each Scully member had a fully decked out holiday sweater.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Bill roared.

Thankfully, Mrs. Scully was immediately back in the room, almost as if she anticipated this turn of events.

"To be fair, I didn't feel like I belonged myself," Mulder explained in his usual self deprecating manner.

"William Scully Jr.!" Maggie Scully snapped with a look that could kill.

Bill said nothing as he returned to his seat, sulking.

Tara, however, walked over and gave Mulder a quick, one-armed hug before turning their attention to the little boy in her arms. Mulder smiled.

"Matthew, this is Fox Mulder. He's a very nice gentleman who works with Auntie Dana."

The crimson-haired boy with the deepest blue eyes smiled at him. "Fox. Just like my pet fox," he said, pointing to the stuffed fox in his grip.

Mulder smiled. "Yeah, just like that, kiddo."

The modest home was overwhelmed with the smell of freshly baked pieS and cookies intermixed with the savory smell of ham in the oven. It was Heaven on Earth.

Aside from the tension in the air between him and Bill, so far everything went off without a hitch. The family matriarch told stories about both Bill and Dana when they were children and teared up whenever she mentioned Melissa or Charlie.

"No haunted house stakeouts keeping Dana from her family this year, that's good," Bill quipped.

To Mulder's surprise, he was far less bothered by Bill's comments than he otherwise would have been. It actually reminded him of more carefree days when he and Samantha were little and the bickering they would often do as siblings did.

"Nope, but surely it was a Christmas to remember."

Scully looked up and smiled at him conspiratorially over her plate of food.

Bill huffed as he continued to eat. Matthew played with his toys as Scully, Tara, and Maggie talked about when Matthew would get a sibling. It made his heart hurt for Scully and he turned to her and smiled, their focus on each other nearly drowning out the sounds around them.  

He turned his attention from their words to the environment of the home and how happy he was to be there. He also came to learn that Maggie Scully made a mean cranapple pie.

"I know you won't be coming to mass with us, Fox, but I do have an extra room so you can open presents with us in the morning," Maggie insisted.

Mulder looked over at Scully for approval who nodded reassuringly.

"Okay," Mulder agreed. "As long as I'm not intruding… I'll have to stop by my apartment to get some things."

"Oh, that reminds me," Maggie said suddenly. "We do have a tradition of opening one gift on Christmas Eve each year and when you open it, you'll see why."

Everyone gathered around the rather large douglas fir that was illuminated by colorful lights and carefully decorated with ornaments. Mulder couldn't help but notice several baby ornaments that must have belonged to all of the Scully children when they were born.

Each of them was handed a carefully wrapped present of the same size as Maggie watched from the center of the room. "You can all open them at once," she instructed. Everyone simultaneously began to pick at the delicately wrapped presents. Tara helped Matthew open his present as the rest of the adults quickly shed the wrapping paper to reveal matching flannel pajama sets.

"You know my size, Mrs. Scully. It must be a conspiracy," he chuckled as Scully swatted his arm.

"I did have a husband and raised two boys, Fox," she chuckled, her laughter contagious. "Looks like you won't need to go home after all."

"Uh oh, looks like I might have to be joining for mass after all."

"Only if you want to, Fox, but it would make me happy if you did."

"Just so long as I don't burst into flames," Mulder said, throwing his arms into the air for full effect.

----

The rest of the night was uneventful and as everyone returned from church and changed into their PJ's, a knock on the door sounded on the room Mulder took residence in. If he had to guess, he would say this had to be Charlie's old room.

"Yeah?"

"It's me," Scully said from the other side of the door.

Mulder quickly moved to open the door, revealing Scully in her matching PJ's.

"I must say, Scully, this exceeds the endless well-tailored suits."

"Don't get too comfortable," she teased, walking into the room. "Bill is just down the hall."

Mulder chuckled. "Yeah, that's a bear I wouldn't want to poke."

A silence passed between them as they sat together on the bed. Scully was the first to speak. "I'm glad you came, Mulder. Really."

Mulder pretended to look surprised. "I really wasn't trying to crash your family Christmas dinner," he insisted. "But it's a nice reprieve from thinking about times past."

"I know," Scully said as she reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. "I realized how much fun I was having last year celebrating it with you while on a case, chasing monsters."

Mulder chuckled and squeezed her hand. "Sorry to disappoint you, but the only real monster we have to worry about is down the hall."

Scully laughed. "Well, I'll see you in the morning, Mulder. Goodnight."

Mulder watched as Scully reached the door. "If you need anything, knock three times," he said with a wink.

Scully rolled her eyes. "Goodnight, Mulder."

END

[r-ahh-mi]

Empty Cups

Requested: you should do a rami smut based off the song ‘empty cups’ by charlie puth it is NEEDED pls listen to the song and you’ll unDERSTAND

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Warnings: Sexual Content, Alcohol Usage, Cheating, & Swearing.

Word Count: 5.1k

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A/N: I made this Josh...hope that’s okay! Also, thank you so much for requesting this because it got me sooo inspired that i think i’ll make this a multi chapter, maybe??? and collab with another writer????? Lemme know what you guys think xx

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It was so cold outside -- the dress that I chose was less then enough fabric to cover up my legs which were beginning to feel numb, but it was worth it; so damn worth it.

I was doing something that most would see as terrible and the saddest, most sadistic part was that I didn’t care. It wasn’t often that I was selfish in life; I would say i’m quite the giver and usually retire to worrying about others more than myself, but tonight was about me.

Dressing up to impress a man who wasn’t my beloved boyfriend was something I’d never thought to be doing, and yet here I am in the frigid winter cold, risking my relationship for what? Even I wasn’t completely sure. All I knew is that my mind was made up and I was going to seek out a resolution to these feelings I had been having, regardless of who was hurt and who was pleased.

Some would say that i’m a terrible person and ‘blah blah blah’, i realize this, but this man was something I couldn’t get my thoughts away from. Every time my boyfriend slid his arm across my shoulder, I pictured it was Josh. Every time my boyfriend and I engaged in any type of sexual behavior, I pictured it was Josh and as much as I didn’t want these feelings i would miss them terribly should they leave.

To make things every bit worse, my boyfriend was nothing but a saint to me. He treated me good and i couldn’t think of a single thing to complain about when it came to him, except for the fact that he wasn’t him. He wasn’t the Josh that I’d met a year ago through our mutual friend, Sam, and the Josh who stole my heart from the minute I laid eyes on his tousled hair and smug attitude. He already had me in the palm of his hand and yet he had zero idea of it. The only person who knows how I feel is Sam. Of course, Sam is an angel and told me to just stop thinking about him--if she only knew. Should it had been that easy, I wouldn’t be in this situation because, of course, I don’t want these thoughts. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and what we have is good, but Josh; Josh had something and I couldn’t quite comprehend what it was exactly that drew me to him so much, but it was something I wasn’t quickly able to rid myself of or even remotely start to forget about...which brings me to my current situation.

Josh was having a party and I couldn’t resist the chance at finally doing what I've fantasized about for the past year. His lips on my skin, his hands gripping my thighs, his body slick and hot, and his breath even hotter. No matter how much this could screw everything up and no matter if I would regret it the instant it happened, this was something that I needed to do. Maybe if I just do this it’ll get out of my system or it’ll be less than what my expectations were and then I can move on. That’s it -- this is for the purpose of moving on.

My first clanged against the front wooden door as I winced at the cold air hitting all of my exposed skin. To my dismay, it wasn’t Josh who had opened the door, but his sister, Hannah, as she greeted me with a smile and one armed hug, her other hand being occupied with a red plastic cup.

“Is Josh around?”, I asked as I rid my body of the heavy wool coat that was previously shielding me from frigid temperatures and hung it onto a nearby rack.

“‘Course!”, Hannah slurred, “I think he’s in the living room.”

I patted her shoulder, giggling as she quickly got distracted as she tip toed over to the kitchen, letting out various sounds of excitement as she slid into a group of people I assumed were her friends.

The bass was heavy as it thumped from speakers set in the living room as various people were littered around them. Groups and pairs of people were chatting, drinking, making out, or a good mixture of both as I took in my surroundings, attempting to find the one person I had come to see.

“Addie!” Suddenly, tiny arms were hugging me around my middle while I smiled, immediately knowing that all too familiar voice.

“Hi Sam”, I laughed, spinning myself around to get a good look at the blonde who still kept her arms around my waist.

Her eyes were glazed over as the affects from the nearly empty cup, in her hand, started to change her physical appearance, but that didn’t change the welcoming smile she always seemed to wear.

“Now Sam, how drunk are we right now?”

“We are not drunk, but I am drunk enough”, she giggled, taking the last sip from her cup and setting it on a nearby table.

“You look fancy.” Sam grabbed my hand, forcing my body to move as I twirled in circle.

“What’s all this for?”

Of course I wasn’t going to tell her it was for Josh. She would immediately pass judgement onto me and force me to go home or be tethered to her for the rest of the evening, so I settled for a little white lie.

“Just felt like looking nice is all”, Sam gave an approving nod as she reached in the nearby tub of ice and pulled out a shiny new beer can.

“No Adam tonight?”

Oh, Adam. I had nearly forgotten that Josh had also invited my boyfriend to this party, but the secret was that I hadn’t even bothered to tell Adam about the party at all. Instead, I settled to tell him I was hanging out with Sam tonight, which wasn’t entirely a lie, I was, indeed, with Sam right at this very moment.  Of course, I knew that wasn’t a good excuse, but it still cleared a portion of my conscious that was scolding me for wanting something so wrong.

“Nope”, I answered with a pop of my lips as a familiar laugh rang from a distance.

Josh was intermingling with a mixed group of guys and girls. He spoke so confidently and poised as he listened and chimed into the conversation whenever necessary, that is until he caught my eyes staring at him. Quickly, I darted my gaze away, dramatically turning my head to focus back on Sam.

“Addison...” Sams tone was both disapproving and a bit concerned as she kept switching her gaze from me to somewhere behind me or rather someone.

“Hmm?”

“Please stop.”

“Stop what?” Of course, I knew what she was referring to, but playing dumb seemed like a safe way to keep my little plan for the evening under wraps. 

Sam sighed as she took a long swig from her beer and turned around, giving me a clear view of Josh and the group he was with. Immediately, our eyes found each other as Josh sent a smile towards me.

“Adam is a nice guy..”

“I know Sam, I know, but i’m not doing anything wrong.”

She took a deep breath before taking a long swig out of her beer as we just stared at one another. Her trying to figure out my motivations, i’m sure, and me trying to figure out if she was buying the bullshit I was feeding her.

“I just don’t want things to get messed up for you is all; i do it because I care.”

I smiled, placing my hand affectionately on her shoulder and fully preparing to lie through my teeth. “I know you do Sam, but honestly. I’m not doing anything wrong.”

Sam nodded as Mike came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her as she pressed her back into his chest. 

I watched as they both flirted with one another and began subconsciously moving to the pop music that was blaring through out the lodge. Their puppy love was something amazing to see; they were a fresh couple and still getting to know one another and that stage in a relationship is something to be truly treasured because it doesn’t last nearly as long as it needs to..or maybe with me and Adam it just didn’t... i’m not sure. Adam was my first and only relationship so I was by no means an expert, but it just seemed like our little ‘hopelessly in love’ phase came and went within a month or two and things just started to go a tad bland. 

“We’re gonna go upstairs. Are you okay to be alone?”

I nodded, smiling and shooing Sam and Mike away as I watched them waltz up the staircase, sparing each other little kisses and movements of affection until they were out of my view.

“Hey Ad.”

My body couldn’t have twisted around fast enough as I turned to face the deep, familiar tone as he stood directly in front of me, arms crossed over his chest, making his biceps even more pronounced then they usually were.

“Hi Josh.”

Though he tried to hide it with a quick flick beneath his eyelashes, I saw the way he eyed me up; gazing up and down my tightly fit dress and then respectfully back up to my face. 

“What’s the occasion for this type of outfit?”

My answer was similar to the one I gave Sam -- a shrug and humble, “Just wanted to dress up.”

Josh nodded, taking a sip of his beer as he brushed his eyes down my body again, but on this instance he took his time. One could argue that he had possibly had a lot to drink already which is why he had become so shameless and bold, but i didn’t care. As long as he was noticing me the way I wanted him to, then it was alright with me.

His lips were puckered ever so slightly, his eyes glossed, and his pointer finger was gently thumping against the plastic cup in his hand, making a dull ‘ping’ sound and I wanted nothing more than to grab the back of his neck and kiss him as if it was my last day on earth.

Alas, I did not. I had self control, at least for now I did and the self control was larger due to me being scared to initiate anything. This was something i’d dreamt of and pictured for the past year and I wasn’t about to waste the night so quickly when I could be patient and take the time to enjoy his company and, of course, I hoped that he would accept the kind of company I wanted to give him.

“You wanna dance?” Through my long and terribly false lashes, I glanced back up to Josh’s face, taking note of the hand that was now placed at his side and slightly out stretched, ready to embrace me if I were to accept his invitation.

“Sure”, I nodded with an all too cool tone, even though my mind was internally screaming everything in a voice so opposite; one could even compare it to a high pitched squeal.

Our fingers latched together as Josh smoothly glided the both of us through the crowd of dancing and intertwined bodies until he found a big enough free space for the both of us. Instantly, our bodies meshed perfectly together as we both started off by simply swaying our hips, but still keeping a safe distance of a couple inches from each other. However, this distance didn’t last long as Josh slowly slithered his hand around my waist, pulling my front closer to his  until we both looked as if we were connected to one another by our hips.

The second I felt our bodies brush against one another I knew this was going to be it. It was for sure going to happen tonight and suddenly I grew needy and impatient, much opposed to my feelings earlier, but I knew I was ready for it. I’d been thinking of this exact scenario for the past year after all.

Swiftly, I turned my body around, letting Josh adjust his hand until his palm lay flat on the fabric covering my stomach as I pressed my back against his chest while we continued swaying and grinding to the upbeat music. 

Josh’s other hand rid itself of its beer and came to lay against the top of my thigh, making me shiver as he gently pressed my body further against his, making my ass grind against his groin. Although the music was loud, I could still hear the sharp intake of breath he took as his reaction to this new found body contact we were both attempting to familiarize the other with. However, it didn’t take long for us  both to naturally get comfortable with the other -- we were always quick to adapt when it came to each others company. 

One song, two songs..who knows what number deep worth of songs we got until I decided that enough was enough, but i’m just happy that I had mustered up enough confidence to do so as I slid my arm up Josh’s body til it laid on the back of his neck as I gently nudged him to lean down towards me.

“Wanna go upstairs?”, I whispered into his ear as his grip around my waist slightly loosened, making me fear that I was taking this too far.

Josh knew that I had a boyfriend, maybe that was what was causing this sudden hesitation, but that also didn’t stop him from asking me to dance. Not to mention, the dancing was definitely not PG 13. Maybe he just thought I was a tease and, so far, had we really done anything wrong yet? I was merely just dancing with my friend, wasn’t I?

I felt a hand intertwine with mine as they led me out of the sweaty, dancing crowd and it wasn’t until we began to head for the bottom of the stairs that I saw it was Josh leading the way as he briefly looked back at me, eyes seeming to ask if I was sure, but I already knew that answer all too well. 

A small smile from me reassured him as he kept our hands laced together while we both climbed the stairs. Various others couples were littered in the upper hallway -- kissing, groping, and some even doing more than that all lingered about as Josh reached for the handle on his bedroom door.

Twisting the knob, gasps from two scarcely clothed people twitched from their previously kissing positions on Josh’s bed as he gave them an angered glare. The pair both nodded and scrambled to grab their clothes as they made their way up and out of Josh’s room, leaving us both in nullified silence, except for the familiar bass thump that had now become normal to be flowing throughout the lodge.

At first, it was incredibly awkward...and i’m willing to blame my lack of any alcohol in my system for this feeling, but I knew it wasn’t totally to blame. Josh was thinking, just as I too was thinking as we stood in his room in silence. Thinking about how much I wanted him and how much he wanted me, thinking about the fact that my boyfriend was sat at home, oblivious to my affair I was trying to indulge in. Lastly, thinking about how this would change things, if it even would change anything, but I think, deep down, we both knew that it was bound to make things different. It’s rare that you have sex with anyone and not feel different around them, right? Was it possible to be that intimate with someone, regardless of the strings or lack there of attached during the heat of the moment, and bounce right back to your places in the world?

I jumped slightly as I heard my phone chime from my back pocket. Josh had seemed startled by the breaking of the silence as well as he watched me with wide owl eyes as I plucked my phone from my back pocket. That’s when I started to feel incredibly guilty about this entire thing, in fact, I nearly ran straight out of that room as soon as I saw my boyfriends name flash across my phones screen.

I continued to stare at the home screen for far too long as I felt a pair of hands snake around my waist from behind. Plump lips began to leave kisses on the back of my neck and whatever guilt I was feeling before hand quickly disappeared as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back to rest on Josh’s shoulder as he moved his lips to the side of my neck. His kisses were soft to start, then began to get much more rough as his teeth grazed against the taut skin as he started to suck on my neck, making me whine out his name as my other arm snaked up and around the back of his neck.

Just as Josh’s hands began to wander upward, my phone went off again, making me quickly pull my phone back out from my pocket with a frustrated groan.

“Turn it off”, Josh muffled against my skin, as his hands smoothed the curvature of my waist, nearly touching my bust.

“I can’t just turn it off, he’ll start to worry Josh..” My finger hovered over the ‘answer’ button, fully prepared to pick up the phone call even if it was just to put Adam’s mind at ease that I was not in harms way..unless you considered Josh’s lips nibbling on my skin a type of harm.

“If you turn it off, then he’ll just think your phone died or something.”

I pondered on Josh’s words, still not completely convinced that I should listen to him, until he moved his hand up to my left breast, giving it a slight squeeze as his teeth nibbled on my ear lobe. His hot breath fanned against my ear making me instantly hold the right side button to turn off my phone as I slipped the device back into my back pocket and spun my body around.

This was the first time we had really made eye contact since being alone in his room and it was a heated stare to say the very least. Josh’s eyes were narrowed on me as his hands returned to my waist, pulling my body flush against his as he rested our foreheads together.

“Are you sure you want this?”

Was that even a question? Of course I wanted it, but I guess me turning my phone off, not to mention requesting that we go upstairs together, wasn’t enough for Josh to see that this is all I had thought about and I couldn’t want anything more right at this very moment.

I nodded, looking him dead in the eye as my hands came up to cup the sides of his face, to which he responded my leaning his head towards my palm and resting his cheek there.

“I just don’t want you to regret it, you know what I mean? I hope you don’t think i’m pressuring you or trying to seduce you or..fuck maybe I am but-”

I shushed him by bringing my pointer finger up to his lips, shaking my head as I smiled at his hesitance which really only made me admire him more because he was nervous. I too was nervous, I couldn’t lie about that, but I also knew for certain that I wanted him, but the fuzziest part of it all was that I wasn’t sure if it was sexually or emotionally...but I chose to give in to the sexual craving for now. Worrying about any other kinds of feelings I may have would just cause tonight and everything that would ensue in the next several minutes (or hours) to be filled with anxiety and second guessing and I wasn’t having any of it. 

I had waited much too long to be with him; I wasn’t about to waste this special time together on tentative actions and questioning of every move, so i’m stopping, right here, right now and i’m merely just going to be his in this very moment. My mind is free and i’m just going with the first thought and feeling and reaction I felt.

“Kiss me Josh.”

It was as if we had both just been waiting for the other to verbally announce that what we were doing, or rather, thinking about doing was okay, as our mouths lurched towards one another, lips smacking together as our open mouths ate each other up in a desperate fashion. Josh’s hands reached down to the back of my thighs, effortlessly lifting my body up as I wrapped my legs around his waist for support.

Our lips remained attached as the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, making him sloppily fall onto the mattress, taking me down with him as I straddled his sitting form. For a moment, he just studied me as his fingers combed through my tangled hair, thanks to the wet snow that ruined the perfect curls I had attempted to make prior to the party.

“What?” I questioned.

He shook his head as he smiled at him, taking his thumb and rubbing it against my cheek as he slowly drew his lips nearer to mine until a delicate kiss was left to fill in the distance. Our mouths were so slow this time, happily taking their time to get acquainted with the others as our heads tilted and turned and pressed harder into each other as Josh’s hands slipped under the fabric of my dress that had now been piled up by my waist. I shivered as his cold hands touched my bare skin and it felt even better than anything I could have imagined over the past year.

I remembered one night, gliding my own hands up and over the curve of my hips to my waist and up to breasts, to my lower back, imaging it was Josh’s tanned fingers climbing all over my skin, but my imagination was severely losing compared to the real feel of his hands on me as his fingers gripped the fabric of my dress and began slowly pulling it up and over my upper half until our lips disconnected so I could allow Josh to slip my top up and over my head.

“Your turn.” I quirked, tugging lightly on his t shirt as I too let my hands slip underneath the fabric, allowing my finger tips to graze the muscles of his abdomen all the way up to his broad chest until I had a good grip on his t shirt and was able to lift it and discard it onto the floor.

“I’ve wanted this for so long”, I mumbled against his lips.

However, I was taken aback as Josh lightly pushed his face away from me. “You’ve thought about this before?”

Suddenly, I was very self conscious of the little secret I decided to spill as I nervously diverted my eyes to anywhere but his face.

“Hey, I've thought about this too, I just didn’t know you had been thinking about it as well”, Josh brushed his hands up and down my bare back and even the faintest touch of his fingers grazing the back of my bra was making me shiver.

“Addie.” Slowly, I turned my eyes to him as he had a smile that showed pure enjoyment as he pressed a kiss to my lips.

“Do I have permission to take off your clothes and fuck you senseless now?”

Although Josh’s whispered words made me hold my breath for a second, I couldn’t move fast enough as I leaned forward with enough force to knock Josh on his back, having me straddling his waist as his hands moved to my ass, giving it a good squeeze.

His hands found the back of my bra, unclasping it within the first or second try, as his hands moved to my breasts in an instant. Needing them and pinching the small pink nubs, making me winch and grind my hips against the very present bulge that was pressing into my lightly clothed center.

“Less clothing please”, I requested as I got up from my straddling position and began unbuttoning my jeans.

Josh watched on, body weight leaning back onto his elbows, as I stripped down to my simple, yet complimenting, panties. “Should I take these off myself or would you like to do the honors?”

“Oh please”, Josh outstretched his arms so his hands rested on my hips, “Allow me.”

Within minutes, we were both completely naked with one another as I climbed back onto the bed. This time, Josh climbed between my spread legs as we both continued to sloppily and aggressively kiss, until Josh’s lips began to travel down my body, from my lips to my neck, down to my breast until he was kissing my lower stomach, mere inches from where I wanted him the most.

Josh hummed a ‘mmm’ as he gave a lick to my lower lips, admiring the way they tasted while he spread my legs wide open with his hands as he indulged in eating me out. His tongue danced between my clit and my entrance as he took long licks up and down until he settled on moving his tongue in circles against the sensitive nub. My hands immediately went to my inner thighs, squeezing and pinching them as I relished in this feeling that Josh was making me feel so good and the best part was, I had no guilt, no remorse, and zero regrets about any of this, at least for now I didn’t. I was merely just enjoying how well he was taking care of me.

However, as much as I would’ve love to cum from his mouth alone, I wanted to feel him deep inside me when I finally hit my climax, so I tugged a bit on his hair, making him come up for air as he looked at me.

“I don’t want to cum yet”, Josh was all but a cocky smirk as he moved back up the bed to again rest between my legs, the tip of his cock pressing teasingly against my wet lips.

“Before I forget...”, Josh fumbled to quickly reach for his side table, moving his hand around until he found the foil packet he had been in search of.

“Thank god someone remembered”, I laughed, pushing the hair away from my sweaty forehead as I watched on with lust as he moved the material over his sizable and erect length.

“Now, where were we.” Josh hitched one of my legs over his shoulder, resting his palm on my opened thigh as he took a hold of his dick and slowly pressed his tip into my entrance. 

This contact alone was a billion times better then what my fingers could do while I was imagining this very thing with Josh and I couldn’t hold back my moan as he filled me up completely with one swift thrust.

“Fuck”, Josh winced as he started slowly moving his hips, pushing himself in and out of me as my leg still rested on his shoulder.

“You feel so fucking good.”

“Better than you imagined?”

“Fuck yes.”

Eventually we switched up positions, me on all fours and Josh lining himself up at my entrance from behind just before giving one of my ass cheeks a slight smack, making me moan and playfully wiggle my ass as if it were a tempting treat, which to him, i knew it was.

Due to the wetness between my legs, he slipped into me with ease and just started pounding roughly as his hands gripped my hips harshly. Thank god for the heavy music, the movie Josh had flicked on beforehand, and the other copious amounts of people who were doing the same thing we were doing because my moans were loud and unable to be held back as our skin smacked against each other with a loud sound.

“Mmm, i’m close” Josh groaned as he moved his hand around my body so he could move his fingers in a circular motion on my clit.

I bent upward from his touch on the sensitive area as I immediately climaxed around him as Josh continued fucking me roughly through the intense orgasm. I hadn’t felt an orgasm like that..ever I don’t believe. No way could Adam make me feel like this, no possible way.

Just as my body began to calm down, Josh pulled out of me, stretching out his legs so they stood flat against the floor. I turned around to see him pumping his now bare cock in his hand at a fast pace as he watched me while I scooted towards the end of the bed.

“Allow me”, I replicated his words from earlier as he smiled down at me before pressing the tip of his cock against my lips. I gave him a good lick before completely taking his tip into my mouth and once I got a good hold on him, he removed his hand completely and let me just make him feel good as my tongue worked its skills on him, bathing him with my mouth as I licked every vein and ridge of him until I was feeling him in the back of my throat.

A couple movements from his hips and he was shooting his load down my mouth as he steadied his hands on my shoulders, keeping himself afloat and standing until he was satisfied and completely spent from his orgasm.

I watched as he opened his eyes for the first time post orgasm and, I admit, I was a little scared for his reaction because this was, after all, the afterword of what we had done. Would he immediately regret it? Would he tell me to leave now that he had gotten what he wanted from me?

“Want to watch a movie?” 

That was hardly the response I had expected, but nevertheless I was extremely happy with it as we both snuggled up our nude forms together under his covers and watched the television that he had turned on prior to the loud and intense sex we had just had.

I thought for sure guilt would flood me as soon as we were spent, but it hadn’t. The name Adam or any thought pertaining to my boyfriend hadn’t even crossed my mind, all I was thinking about was Josh’s arm around my shoulder, our fingers intertwined, and the fact that we were seeking out a little sanctuary in his bedroom, while all the other people my age were out there getting fucked and shit faced. I liked this little sanctuary. I could get used to this.

-

Tag: @frami-mercury-malek

[so-langdon]

Cracks - Duncan Shepherd x Fem! Reader

Summary: After finding out the news of being adopted, Duncan goes to Y/N for comfort.

Warnings: Third person POV, fluff, angst, sad! Duncan, some swearing

A/N: I’ve never been interested in watching House of Cards, but I just watched season six, purely for Duncan, and even then I skimmed through and only watched the Duncan scenes loll. So if anything seems off from the actual story, pls forgive

Also will post the next chapter of Innocence Meets Corruption sometime next week hopefully!! :))

“You know, she told me to ask you something,” Duncan spoke towards his mother. “She told me to ask you where I came from,” he adds, an expression of hesitation and potential betrayal registering on his face.

The look on Annette’s face was all it took for Duncan to realize the reality. The confirmation of what Claire's questions meant when telling Duncan to ask Annette of where he came from; asking him of the first memory he had of his mother. 

He knew now. Especially as Annette stalked back down the hall into the other room, demanding Seth to put out the headline of Claire's abortion of sixteen weeks, completely ignoring Duncan’s questioning.

Duncan was as put together as he looked. He was confident, composed and self-assured. He was handsome, intelligent, smooth and charismatic. He knew how to do his job and he knew how to do it well. He knew all of this about himself. He might come off as arrogant to some, but he was just self-aware, humbly enlightened of his wealth, power and position.

But one seemingly little mistake, and it was desolation for him and his so called family.

Just before questioning Annette of where he came from, his “uncle” Bill was throwing a tantrum of sorts. Duncan was being insulted, not just of his intelligence and choices, but whole being it seemed. It wasn’t like Duncan to get caught up in the emotions. But he couldn’t help that his uncle’s prior words of saying, “This towel is smarter than you,” “Seth is smarter than you,” “The sweat on my brow is smarter than you, Duncan,” seemed to hurt him in a way that normally wouldn’t have.

And now to add to that was his family was not even his actual family. Not really, not anymore, it seemed.

It was taking a difficult toll on him. His “uncle’s” words, plus finding out this family secret within such a short about of time was upsetting him more than he liked to admit. He wasn’t sure how to handle or react to any of it.

The only thing that came to mind regarding all this was he wanted to talk to a friend of his. Sort of a friend. The only person he could think of wanting to confide to that could be of any help or comfort was Y/N. 

He’d met her a few years ago when out with a mutual group of friends for the evening. The friend group had planned on going out for a good time, wanting to get some drinks, relax and have fun. Y/N shared the same friends Duncan had, though the two had never personally met before until then.

Once out that night with their group of mutual friends and meeting each other, they hadn’t exactly clicked as everyone might have hoped. Duncan and Y/N were sarcastic and feisty towards each other, firing comebacks constantly back and forth, seeming to argue on everything: Which restaurant to attend, which bars to hop, what round of shots to order. 

Their bickering was endless, but it somehow worked. Their constant back and forth was amusing, obvious teasing, though you’d never catch them sitting side by side or having just a friendly chat. Not when there was always something for them to argue about. You could say they were “frenemies,” having a love/hate relationship.

Nonetheless, no matter the amount they argued, there were times they could be civil and tolerate each other. Duncan also knew how kind and compassionate Y/N was. And this is what made him want to reach out to her in this distressing time of his life.

~

Taking a drive over to Y/N’s apartment once Duncan left the presence of his “mother” and “uncle”, he realized an impatience growing in him. He hurried, wanting to arrive to her doorstep as soon as he could, wanting to speak with her quickly. He felt himself deteriorating mentally over all that had happened to him within the last few hours and felt Y/N was his only outlet. 

Duncan found himself knocking on her door quite frantically as he arrived, recognizing he needed to try and contain his composure before being greeted by the girl. He didn’t need to hear any teasing or bickering about his desperate knocking. Any teasing for that matter was the last thing he needed at this moment. But it was a risk he was willing for to see Y/N.

Duncan held his breath when hearing the locks of the door being unlocked. Whatever breath he held escaped his body when she answered the door. Though she narrowed her eyes at his presence, obviously confused, he couldn’t help but find her so gorgeous where she stood. Wearing a black over-sized band tee and black leggings, she looked adorably comfy and alluring all at once. It wasn’t unusual that he found himself drawn and attracted to her, but he always had to keep himself contained considering the type of relationship they had.

“Duncan Shepherd,” she spoke, almost sarcastically. “To what do I owe this,” she looked him up and down. “Pleasure?”

It’s caught her off guard with seeing Duncan, standing with his obvious fit and tall frame, broad shoulders, and brunette hair pushed back in a way that always had her trying not to stare for too long. She usually liked a clean shaven face, but the stubble on Duncan’s face always had her stomach flipping, and she dreaded the day he would shave it off, if ever. The way he carried himself, with such a dominant confidence, she often found herself trying not to blush over his handsome looks. Not to mention his gorgeous blue piercing eyes that always took her breath away.

“Thought we could have a bit of a chat,” Duncan spoke collectedly. “A chat, really,” she starts, not believing him. He stared back at her casually.  “I know you better than that,” she crosses her arms. “I know there has to be some ulterior motive.” Duncan shakes his head nonchalantly.  “What is it? Need extra people to attend some charity ball your family is holding? Or need more support for a Shepherd’s Foundation project? Because if so, I’m not interes--” “No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Duncan waves off. “I, I know this is.. out of the ordinary, but I thought we could.. hang out?” Duncan says laid-back. Y/N narrows her eyes. “Hang out,” she repeats confused. Duncan nodded. “Uh.. Are you sure there isn’t some other reason?” “Why? Is it so hard to believe I’d want to hang out with you?” Duncan asks questioningly. She laughs a bit, “You’re kidding, right? You know how we are with each other.” Duncan doesn’t say anything. “Uhm,” she looks behind her as if she were to be looking at someone. “Am I interrupting anything,” Duncan asks, pushing sudden disappointment and even slight jealousy down his throat. Looking back at Duncan, she shakes her head. “No, no. I was just, um,” she pauses. She sighs. “Okay. Don’t laugh, but.. I was watching Twilight,” she drops her arms. “Twilight,” Duncan actually laughs genuinely. “It’s my guilty pleasure, alright,” she defends. “I always liked the movies when I was younger. Everyone hated on it to just be ‘cool,’ and I don’t know, the story isn’t that bad.” Duncan raises his eyes like he’s calling bullshit. “Shut up,” she glares. “I said don’t judge me.” “I would never,” Duncan says teasingly. “Whatever,” she waves him off. “You want to come in then, or not?” She stands back, gesturing inside for him. Duncan gladly steps in, Y/N closing the door behind as he enters.  “I’ll turn the movie off now, for your sake. But I hope you realize you’re cutting into my ‘me time.’ So you owe me,” she points, walking off into her living room and turning the movie off. “I’m so flattered,” Duncan retorts sarcastically as he follows her. “You should be. Of all the people to show to my doorstep, and it’s you,” she adds, shaking her head as she walks again towards her kitchen. “Oh come on, Y/N. You know you like me,” Duncan teases as he continues to follow her. Y/N walks around to the far side of her kitchen, rolling her eyes. “You are my least favorite human on the planet, Duncan.” “Then why are you allowing me into your home and letting me disturb your beloved Twilight time?” He asks as he stands at the door frame of the room. “Because I’m a nice fucking person, Shepherd,” she fires back.

Duncan grins, their banter and disputing always border-lining playfulness, therefore he knows that if he annoys her profusely, she still doesn’t hate him, even if she says she does.

“Anything you’d like to drink,” Y/N asks, reaching for her cabinets and opening them to grab some glasses. “Whatever you’re having,” Duncan says as he steps further into the kitchen and pulls a chair out at the counter bar in the middle of the room.  “How about a shot of Whiskey,” Y/N offers as she places the glasses on the counter in front of him. “I’ll definitely have a glass,” Duncan explains, sighing out discreetly.

Biting her tongue, she can see that there’s something bothering Duncan. She heard it in his tone. She curiously wonders to herself what it could be, wondering if that’s why he’s actually come over to see her, maybe to talk to her about it. It would make more sense somehow compared to Duncan just wanting to “hang out” so suddenly.

Pouring Duncan a shot of whiskey and sliding the glass over to him, he gladly takes the cup, downing the drink in one swallow. She pours herself a glass too, and takes a seat beside Duncan at the counter where he sits. She refills Duncan’s glass again but tells him to slow down with a soft laugh.

“So what’s bugging you,” she asks, holding the glass in her hand but not drinking as she looks over at him beside her. Looking at her with a narrowed expression, he shakes his head a bit. “Bugging me? Nothing’s bugging me,” he lies. “Oh please,” she rolls her eyes. “Yes there is. I can read it on your face.” Duncan looks over at her with an impassive expression. “Don’t try and hide it now. I know something is bothering you,” she points out.

Duncan came over here in the first place wanting to confide and vent to Y/N, knowing she’s a good listener and nonjudgmental. But as he sits with her now in her kitchen, he can’t bring himself to utter the words he wants to. So he pushes it all down, trying to drown out the day’s events instead.

“Nope,” Duncan says as he downs the second shot of whiskey, letting out a deep sigh afterwards. “Just, coming to hang out.” “Seriously,” Y/N mutters, not believing him. “Yep.” Y/N sighs, “Alright. Whatever you say, Duncan. Cheers then,” she raises her glass and brings it to her lips, drinking down her whiskey shot. “I thought you didn’t like whiskey?” He questions as he watches her drink.

Y/N hated whiskey, actually. The smell, the taste, the burn afterwards. It disgusted her. It didn’t make her feel good or give her any way of relaxing. She despised the liquor. But she always had a bottle around now because she knew Duncan liked it, and when their friends would come over to hang out for whatever reason, she wanted to have the bottle just in case Duncan showed too, like last time.

She wasn’t going to admit this to him though.

“It’s alright sometimes,” Y/N grits, trying to hold back on giving a disgusted face over the taste and burn of the whiskey. She looks over at him. “It’s an acquired taste that not everyone appreciates.” “Didn’t I tell you that after you had a sip of my drink once and threw up over it?” Duncan asks, smirking lightly. “Don’t be so dramatic,” she scoffs. “I didn’t throw up.” “You were practically dry heaving,” Duncan rolls his eyes. “You’re exaggerating. I had never tried it before, I just needed to get used to it.” “Mhm,” Duncan smiles. “Whatever you say, Y/N.” “Bite me, Duncan,” she rolls her eyes again, looking away.

Duncan doesn’t say anything as he grins and looks her up and down in her seat, taking in her outward appearance. Finding her as a mix of adorable and sexy, and loving how sassy and full spirited she could be with him, yet there was a sweetness to her too.

Looking back at Duncan, she asks, “So what actually brought you over here?”

Duncan’s grin fades, looking down at the empty glass of whiskey in front of him. He had almost forgot what was bothering him. 

Pushing the glass away, he sighs, and pushes a hand through his brunette locks. He wanted to speak to Y/N so badly of the day’s events, but something in him had him refraining because he didn’t want to seem weak, or even unlovable, with telling her about the news. He wouldn’t want Y/N to think of him in those ways as it would potentially ruin any positivity she had for him, if there was any at all.

He shrugs, “I told you. Just wanted to hang out.” “Don’t give me that. We’re not exactly two peas in a pod,” she says. “Out of all the friends we have, and you decide to show up to my doorstep? To hang out?” Duncan brings a hand to his mouth, wiping away as if something were there. He looks away, trying to think of an excuse he can come up with that isn’t the truth. “Duncan,” Y/N says, bringing his focus back to her as he looks back at her. “What’s going on?” “I hadn’t seen you in awhile,” he tries to play off. She sighs out again. “Fine. Okay, I won’t pry. You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, why you showed up,” she starts. “But you can talk to me, about whatever, if you need, you know,” she adds, tone softening.

He knew he could talk to her, which was the whole point of why he showed up. But he became more fearful in telling her what was going on the longer he sat there in front of her. Part of him desperately wanted to vent to her, to let out everything, but the other part kept him on lock down, refusing to let him speak.

His mind seemed to be racing with conflicting choices, adding to his distress of the day’s earlier events. “I think I need another shot,” he laughs lightly without humor, reaching over for the bottle of whiskey on the counter in front of them.

“Dude,” Y/N says, stopping his hand and pushing the bottle further away from him. “No, chill. Take it easy. Let me get you some water. I don’t need you to be the one dry-heaving after too many glasses.” Duncan can’t help but smile a bit over her words as she in-directs about her first experience with the drink. 

After getting him a glass of water, Duncan thanks her, appreciating the refreshing drink and taking a long sip of the cool beverage, breathing out after.  “What’s going on in that head of yours? I can see how whatever it is that’s bothering you is getting at you more and more the longer you’re here,” Y/N points out, trying to coax it out of him.

Duncan holds his breath for a moment. He did come all the way over here to vent to her, but should he really open to her, he wonders to himself. He knows he has nothing to be apprehensive about, but he can’t help but worry about what she will ultimately think. Yet, he knows he can trust her.

He sighs out after a quiet moment. He looks over at her, his eyes looking clouded and somewhat dispirited.

“Duncan,” she speaks softly, narrowing her eyes with sorrow, seeing a transition in his eyes. Usually his eyes are so lively, enticing, and ready to fire back with a comeback to match hers, but they’re dismal now. She reaches a hand over, covering his as it rests on the counter. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” She asks, her tone genuine and gentle. He glances at her hand on his before he shakes his head. Her touch is warm and caring, and it causes a stir in his chest. He looks back at Y/N, half-shrugging, “No, not really.” “What’s wrong,” she turns to him in her seat, facing him. “What happened?” He sighs out. “You can talk to me,” Y/N assures. “I know. I know I can,” Duncan begins. “It’s.. why I came over here,” he admits. Y/N nods a bit. She’s upset Duncan is obviously upset and has something bothering him. But she can’t ignore the fact that it makes her happy that Duncan chose her to trust with confiding to.  “For some reason,” a reason Duncan wasn’t ready to admit, “I knew out of everyone in my life, you would be the most trustworthy and honest, actually,” he shakes his head again, looking away. Y/N thinks over his chosen words. “Did someone you trust betray you,” she asks. “’Betray,’” he laughs. “That’s a word for it.” “What is it? What is it that happened? Did someone do something?” “It’s what they didn’t do,” he looks back at her, scrunching his nose as he sniffs.  Y/N looks at him, keeping quiet, but her expression encouraging him to talk. “I, um,” Duncan starts. She raises her eyes, her expression tender as she waits for Duncan to continue speaking. Duncan bites his tongue, but then sighs out. “I found out I.. I’m adopted,” he states sorrowful.  Y/N’s eyes widen a bit, taking in the sudden words from Duncan. “Oh, wow. Um,” she trails off, trying to figure out the proper response to give. “It’s not that. Not completely,” Duncan leans back in his chair. “It’s the fact that my own ‘mother’ didn’t have the audacity to tell me herself, and that when I did find out, she didn’t bother explaining or, or... or to even console me about it,” he looks at her despairingly, “like it meant nothing,” Duncan breathes out. “What do you mean,” she narrows her eyes, trying to make sense of his words. “Fuck,” Duncan mumbles, closing his eyes for a second. He hates how vulnerable he is now in front of her. Looking away, he stands up. “I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have shown up, told you anything. I’m sorry, I’ll go,” he says, walking out of her kitchen without another look. “Duncan, wait,” Y/N stands up too, following after him. “Hold on Duncan,” she calls.  Rushing after him, she grabs his shoulder before he reaches the door, turning him back to her. He looks away like he couldn’t care less. “Give me a minute, give me a second to listen to you, okay? I’m not judging you, I’m not gonna tell anyone anything about your business. You know that.” “That’s not my concern,” he looks at her. “I just know it, it’ll give you more of a reason to hate me probably. I mean, my own ‘family’ doesn’t care about me apparently, so why would you?” “Duncan, of course they care, they,” she trails off, stopping, trying to find the right words to say. “I, I can’t understand what you’re talking about unless you tell me everything that happened.” “I don’t want to talk about everything that happened. I’m trying to block it out of my mind, Y/N,” Duncan exclaims. Y/N nods, “Right, okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. I know. I should know that. I just, I don’t know how to help without knowing the full story.” “You don’t have to fucking know everything,” he calls, gesturing a hand out. “Maybe just, I don’t know, just,” he trails off, shaking his head. He just wanted to be told he was worth an explanation, told it would be okay, to just be held, to have someone to hold onto. Releasing a deep breath, he brings his hands to his face, trying to hide the fact that his eyes are beginning to water. “Duncan, hey, it’s okay,” she speaks softly, stepping over. She reaches up to grab his wrists, pulling gently on them until he drops them with hers to expose his sorrowful face. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, we don’t need to talk about it. I’m here. I’m here for you, whatever you need. I’m here.”

With her hold still on Duncan’s wrists, she brings them to wrap around her shoulders as she closes the space between them and wraps her arms around his torso.

She hugs him, her hold tight but not constricting, her hands trailing gently along his back soothingly. Her hold comforting, and safe, giving Duncan a sense of security he didn’t realize he had been craving.

He begins to wonder if this is how all her hugs felt. The two always greeted with a snarky hello or teasing wave. They were never close enough to be personal with each other, much less to even hug. It’s why this whole situation was confusing and a bit difficult, to be unguarded like this.

Tightening his own hold around Y/N, he nuzzles his face into her hair and the crook of her neck, as if he’s trying to hide away from the world. He sighs into her hold, taking in her embrace, feeling a solace in Y/N that he had never felt before with anyone. Not with any of his “family,” past relationships, other friends, no one. It confused him, adding to the bewilderment of why something in him wanted to reach out to her in the first place. But ultimately, Duncan was more than thankful to his own self for making the decision to come see her.

~

Duncan was still perplexed at how Y/N had managed to calm him down. He seemed to be breaking down earlier when starting to shout at her a bit. The day’s events were starting to overcome him. But once he had her hold around him, it was like a release, a breath of fresh air for him. He could breathe again, think clearly, felt he was alright and cared for.

Y/N lured him to the couch, causing him to sit beside her while she tucked her feet underneath her. She let Duncan take his time with opening up to her. 

As he gradually began to open up, he felt more of a relief flooding him, finally letting out everything that had happened. He told her how once actually asking his “mother” where he was from, he knew it was true he was adopted from the way she reacted. It hurt him to know that he had been lied to, but it hurt more when Annette didn’t bother to talk to him. 

“She didn’t even fucking say anything to me. She just stormed off to Seth and yelled about wanting to put out the headline of Claire’s fucking abortion. It was like she didn’t even care how it was impacting me, just wanted to get her stupid revenge, or whatever,” Duncan glared, fighting back tears for a minute as he recalled the earlier events of the day.  “You deserve better,” she tells him. “You deserved more respect, and reasoning, more than what you got,” Y/N explains, holding his hand in her lap. 

The comforting touch of her hand with his had him hesitating on what to say next. She rubbed soft circles against his skin, her warm-hearted spirit coursing through his mind as he imagined his next move.

Glancing from their hands to her face, he studied her eyes, desperately wanting to know what was going through her mind as all of this unfolded. Her eyes were pure, showcasing an emotion he didn’t know how to interpret.

Even as his eyes flickered around her face, glancing over her lips on more than one occasion, he didn’t know how to read her expression. But he started reading more into his own feelings instead, figuring he should discover what he’s feeling instead of trying to figure her out first.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, in this way,” Y/N added apologetically. “If there’s anything more I can do, let me know. I’ll listen to you all night if I need to.”

Duncan’s eyes glance over her face again for a moment before he forces himself to look away. The kindness in her voice, the beauty she radiated, he had to look away from her in order to not lean over and kiss her. The crave he felt in him, of wanting his lips against hers, it was an unending greediness he realized he had always felt for her but was too afraid to think upon.

“Does this mean I can start campaigning for you to be more liberal now,” Y/N says teasingly.  Duncan laughs a bit, smiling as he looks back at her. “Really? That’s your concern now?” Y/N grins a bit, “No. I just wanted to make you smile.” Duncan rolls his eyes, still smiling. “See, it worked though,” she points, laughing a bit as she looks over at him with a look of fondness. “You have a great smile. It lights up any room,” she breathes out sheepishly.  Duncan’s smile fades a bit, only because her words catch him off guard. The compliment causes his heart to beat faster inside of his chest. “You’re one to talk. Your smile is beautiful, really it’s my favorite thing about you.” Y/N raises her eyes. “Well. One of my favorite things about you,” he adds. Y/N flushes a bit, biting on her lip as she fights her own urge to lean over and kiss him, too.  “I should probably get going,” Duncan says flatly. “I don’t want to take up too much of your night,” he stands, knowing he needs to leave before he does something stupid, like kiss her, considering he really wants to. Y/N stands up too. “It’s not really a big deal. You’re always welcomed over here,” she explains with a casual tone. She didn’t want Duncan to leave. But she couldn’t show any disappointment or honesty about it. She didn’t know Duncan didn’t want to leave her either.

As Y/N walks him to her door, she crosses her arms as Duncan opens it, but turns back to her.

“Thanks for tonight. I.. really appreciated it,” Duncan tells her sincerely. Y/N nods, “Of course. I’m here for you, whenever. About whatever.” Duncan nods too. He looks over her frame, wishing he could stay longer, wishing she’d ask him to stay, wishing he would just admit the feelings he has for her as he’s starting to accept them as the seconds pass. As his eyes look over her face, an unintentional smile grows on his face. “What,” Y/N asks, raising her eyes. Duncan hesitates, shaking his head. “Nothing. Just.. You’re really great,” he says, looking at her adoringly. Y/N smiles. “Get home safely. Call me if you need anything.” Duncan gives a nod. “I will.” “Good night,” she adds.

Duncan takes a step away, Y/N stepping forward to close the door after she sees him off. But as she looks up at him as he steps back over to her she looks at him confused. Duncan leans over, and smoothly presses his lips to her cheek sweetly. 

The simple, innocent touch of his lips against her skin, the feel of his stubble along her, has her heart fluttering in a way she never figured possible.  “Good night, Y/N,” Duncan smiles as he pulls away, a hint of a smirk residing on his face. He steps away, heading for his car, leaving Y/N with prominent rosy cheeks that were impossible to miss, even in the nightfall. 

Watching Duncan leave, she knew deep down that the feelings she had for him were far more than just friendly or playful. It worried her as she felt Duncan wouldn’t ever return the same feelings.

But she still couldn’t help but wonder that maybe if she filled the cracks in his heart, he would fill the same cracks in hers too someday. 

[quxntumvandyne]

new partner

pairing: policeofficer!bucky barnes x reader

words: 1.6k

warnings: death, gun firing

summary: It’s been years since Bucky has lost Steve, his partner in battle since they were children. You are his first partner in years, and today is your first day together. 

a/n: hey guys! this is my oneshot submission for Soph and Aub’s Post-Endgame Depression Writing Challenge! I hope you like it, it’s kinda short for me but i still love it! and go follow soph and aub @laureharrier / @emmaewatson & @tommyparkerr 

. . . . .

“Steve!”

BANG BANG.

No other sounds could be heard but the clanks of bullet falling to the ground and his partner’s body hitting the ground. Ringing filled his ears as he watched his best friend lie still, blood seeping from his chest, free of a bulletproof vest.

He watched, sitting by his side and leaning over his face, the blood drain while Steve’s face went pale.

“Buck.”

“Steve? Steve, no, NO! STEVE!”

“Buck,” he said again. He knew there wasn’t much time left with the fight still occurring all around them. But neither of them could focus on anything but each other.

“Steve,” he croaked, his voice ridden with guilt and streams of tears falling down his cheeks. A raspy sob escaped his throat as Steve lifted a hand onto his shoulder.

Bucky looked up, lifting his head off of Steve’s chest to see his eyes, bloodshot but full of contentment. They both knew what would become of this, but Steve could accept it. It would be long before Bucky ever could.

You were in the middle of Brooklyn, battling HYDRA agents who had caught you, Steve, Sam and others in your squad on a mission to gather intelligence. There were people around and running through the streets, trying to avoid bullets and grenades, with cars in the surrounding areas on fire. People were watching every move you made, knowing the names of you, Steve and Sam for saving the public multiple times.

For years, Steve and Bucky had done everything together. Bucky had been there when Steve lost his parents; Steve was there for Bucky when he lost his arm and came back from the war. Through every up and down, they were there for one another. But this time, Bucky was alone.

“It’s alright Buck.”

Bucky watched as the life left Steve’s eyes and the hand on his shoulder slid down to the ground. His friend was gone.

“Barnes. You and Rogers have done us wrong for long enough. You come undercover to HYDRA and betray us? What more did you expect than for us to kill your beloved Captain.”

Bucky stood up, turned to Vaughn’s face and lodged his cold metal fingers around the throat of HYDRA leader Andre Vaughn.

“Say his name again and I squeeze tighter.” The look of rage in his eyes could have turned any man to stone. He could kill him here and now, finishing this. But a voice spoke up behind him.

“Barnes,” said Sam. He looked at Wilson, standing next to Steve’s stiff body with that same rage. “Not here. Not now.” Barnes and Wilson were not always close but your mutual care and friendship with Steve made you acquaintances.

They looked at each other for a minute while Vaughn struggled to breathe in Bucky’s unforgiving grasp before he released, letting Vaughn fall to the ground.

“Next time,” Bucky said looking at Sam and then to Vaughn, “I won’t be so gentle. You will pay for this. But not today.”

“We’ll see.”

. . . . .

“Sorry, oh um sorry. Sorry!”

You stumbled into the building holding your bag and coffee, walking into your first day on the job in Department 107. Recently you had finished your training and now were accepted as the newest agent in the department, the most famous one in Brooklyn. It had been a dream for years, and it was finally happening.

Bumping into people on the way in, you find yourself in Captain Roscoe’s office, ready to start your first day. You knew you’d be getting a partner to train you for now, and it was someone who’s been with the department for a while. It could’ve been anyone, but you were determined to make a good first impression, attempting to not make a complete fool out of yourself.

“Ah, Miss Y/L/N. Ready to begin training?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Your partner doesn’t know yet that you’ll be working with him, he can be kind of a pain in the ass.”

Wonderful.

“He’s one of the best in the business, hopefully, you can get him to ease up a bit on his workload. Always at work, right Barnes?”

“Mmm.”

“Barnes,” Rosoce said trying to get the man’s attention but he seemed to be dozing off. You stood behind Roscoe, wearing small black heels, black slacks and a long-sleeve white shirt tucked in. Your hair was down, recently cutting it so it was too short to put up and one strand was always in your face, never staying behind your ear. Hands clasped behind your back, you watch as Roscoe shoved the man in his chair, causing him to jump and spill his coffee on the counter.

“Good God Roscoe, what do you need?” the man said.

Roscoe glared at him and glanced over at you. Awkwardly smiling, you reached a hand out to the man and introduced yourself. “L/N.”

“Bucky,” he said, grabbing your hand and shaking it before getting paper towels from a drawer in his desk to clean the coffee up.

“You’re making a fantastic first impression here Barnes.”

“First impression?”

“She’s your new partner.”

You had hoped for a better reaction than what you got, seeming to only make Bucky more upset by just being there.

“Do we have to do this today, Roscoe? You know what today is for me. This isn’t a good time.”

“It’s a perfect time. You can distract yourself from it by training our rookie here and showing her around, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Nice to meet you too,” you said under your breath, with a very noticeable sarcasm dripping off your words.

“I’ll leave you to it, have a good day Miss L/N,” Roscoe said, and with that, he was gone. “So…”

“Yes?” he said, looking at you sideways, with an almost humorous look in his eyes.

“What are we going to do first?”

“Wow, you’re chipper for your first day.”

“Shouldn’t I be?”

He chuckled at you, quickly realizing that the two of you were not the perfect match. He spun his chair slowly while drinking the little coffee in the mug that was left. “Doll, this isn’t a walk in the park.”

“Well, it can’t be rocket science either,” you replied, putting your hands on your hips, cocking one to the side.

“Well alright then,” He stood up out of his chair and stepped towards you, standing close enough so you could feel the breath on his face. “Let’s see what you can do, doll.”

“Call me doll again, and this won’t be a very fun day for either of us.”

“Fiesty, aren’t you? But, noted.”

. . . . .

The noise of guns had never been something you could get used to, but it became apparent that that would have to change. Bucky brought you into a room with different stalls with guns on a table, eye goggles and headphones. In the distance, there was a target with different rings on it and a bullseye.

“You ever shot a gun?”

“In unfortunate circumstances, yes. But I’ve never been properly taught how to shoot.”

“Well, miss, today’s your lucky day,” Bucky said, standing next to you. You looked over and up slightly to see his face and you just realized how tired he really was. The bags under his eyes were almost purple, and the whites of his eyes bloodshot.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You were staring at my face.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

He shook his head and crossed his arms. “Whatever, go put the goggles and headphones on.”

“Fine.” you rolled your eyes while walking to the table and positioned the goggles over your eyes, and the headphones on your ears. Bucky walked up beside you and picked up the Glock 22. Bucky loaded the magazine and cocked the gun, handing it to you. It was cold in your hands, and you immediately felt like you had a weight of responsibility on your shoulders.

Bucky took your shoulders and positioned them to face forward, and your arms up, hands on either side of the gun.

“Aim, shoot.”

You took a deep breath, focusing on the target and putting your right pointer finger over the trigger. You hesitated, feeling anxious that he was watching your every move but you knew you could do this.

I can do this.

BANG. BANG.

You felt ripples go through your arms as the gun fired two bullets into the target. Goosebumps ricocheted all over your body, a feeling that you would have again and again. You set down the gun with your hands shaking, not even looking at the target. It made you feel emotions you hadn't felt before, and you didn’t know what to make of them.

“No way.”

You looked at Bucky who stared in shock at the target and were confused by his expression until you turned back to the target. You hit the bullseye. Twice.

“You’re sure you’ve never fired a gun?”

“I have, just never been trained.”

“Doesn’t seem like you need much training. I used to be in this room all the time practicing with Steve…” Bucky stopped talking after saying that name, his face becoming cold and his body language showing that ‘Steve’ was a touchy subject.

“Who’s Steve?”

“No one, it’s nothing.”

You changed the topic to avoid making him upset. “So, what your saying is, that I’m already better than you at shooting a gun?”

You smirked at him as he looked at you surprised b your cocky attitude. Even you were shocked, but couldn’t control the words flowing from your lips.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You kinda did, Mr. Barnes.”

“Don’t call me Mr. Barnes, Bucky is fine.”

“Is Bucky your real name?”

“Are you usually this annoying or do you try?”

“All na-tu-ral.”

He chuckled and you could once again smell his breath, which smelled like coffee and days old vodka. Neither of you noticed that you had been moving closer together and were almost nose to nose as you had been bantering back and forth. You cleared your throat and removed your goggles, setting them on the table next to the headphones.

“So, what’s next?”

“You’re a handful.”

“I’m sure you can handle it, Bucky.”

“We’ll see.”

. . . . .

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