#already hating hellatus

[missjackil]

My 12x23 (Finale) Opinion

All Along The Watchtower Like many of you, I have very mixed feelings about this episode. First, off, it wasn’t as good as episode 22, but it wasnt a terrible one. It was definitely a nail biter, and pretty high on the stress level, but nowhere near as emotional as the first half of the finale.  So I’ll just jump into the obvious problems. Cas, Crowley, and Rowena are dead, and what appears to be “for good”. Rowena is burnt to a crisp, which the visual was very disturning. Crowley killed himself, complete with “Bye boys” and flashing out from the angel blade. Cas flashed out as well, and left charred wings in the dirt. These things are all indicative of true death to Witches, Demons, and Angels on the show, BUT we still have to wonder if its permenant or not.  On one hand, I dont want it to be permenant, I like the characters, but on the other hand, I feel like there had been too much emphisis put on them since Season 9 than there should have been, and I want the show to go back to focussing on Sam and Dean and not the storylines of side characters. If it was like it was before S9 and these characters where only used to help or antagonize Sam and Dean, or to move the plot forward, then I would be fine with them staying, but the way these side characters have been for a while, has been as though there were 2 shows in the same show. Cas and Crowley running around in the background chasing Lucifer for most of the first half of the season, while Sam and Dean dealt with MOTWs and trying to connect with Mom, seemed very wasteful to me, not to mention off balance and boring. I know there are a lot of big Cas and Crowley fans out there, and Im not saying I hate either character, but in my personal opinion, neither are interesting enough to carry their own storylines apart from Sam and Dean.  As far as the episode itself went, it has great cliff hangers. and some seemed to parallel Swan Song. Mom getting pulled into the AU by Lucifer, was much like Sam/Lucifer pulling Michael/Adam into the pit with him, and Dean left kneeling over Cas’ body was like him kneeling over where the pit had been, though it really didnt hit any Swan Song marks, since it lacked any emotional or beautiful elements, no substancial brother moments at all (but ep 22 was chock full of them, so Ill give it a pass) but I realize it was about finishing the Lucifer end of the season.  I thought some things to be really cheesy though. Luci is being shot by a million bullets made from angel blades and hes barely flenching, yet, one stab from an Angel blade killed Gabriel? Mary punching him with the Enochian brass knuckles hurt him more, also not buying it. Also, Ive always hated Lucifer but he’s becoming even more annoying now. He used to be impressive and now he’s an immature, creepy, weirdo who thinks hes funny but hes not. Im actually glad now that Sam isn’t terrified of him anymore. I dont know if everyone caught it, I actually didnt catch it myself till I watched it a 2nd time, but Lucifer told Sam he doesnt need “the old Sam suit” anymore, so I guess Sam being his One True Vessle story is over.  A traditional Bobby cameo was fun, but Im having a problem with the timeline in which Bobby would have known Mary as a hunter. Not just from the AU, but going back to “The Raid” when Sam said he got the recipe for the Colt bullets from a buddy of his, Mary said “Bobby Singer?” as if she knew him, and I guess she could have, but I dont think Bobby had been a hunter for 40 years give or take, since he only became a hunter after his wife was possessed, but, I guess its possible to have known her, though Ive always associated him with John.  I liked the AU, it was cool looking, very much out of the box for a background set. Even Purgatory was just a forest. Popping in and out of it though was making me dizzy LOL but face it, a seam in space and time is pretty cool. I think they’ll play around with that next season. Though, it teeters on the line between supernatural and sci fi, but I guess if its created by the supernatural, it can fit.  So now we have Jack. Spawn of Lucifer. Kelly is dead, Lucifer is in the AU and the first person he sees is Sam. This could be very interesting. And no, Sam isnt gonna pull an angel blade out and kill him, stuff is gonna happen and I think. at least at first, Jack will be good. Maybe even be the means in which Cas and the gang come back.  So, I liked the episode for its suspense and cliff hangery value, theres more hanging on the cliff this season than last. Last season Sam got shot, and though we all know he’s not going to be DEAD dead, we still worried about how badly he was injured, and we had Mom come back. Now we wonder how dead Cas and the gang are, whats Luci gonna do with mom, How the boys are gonna handle this shitfest of loss, good ole Jack, and what if anything will the BMOL be doing now?  (I dont think we’re done with them at all) So on a scale from Bloodlines to Swan Song, Ill give this an 8, it lacked in emotion, but had nearly more suspense than I can handle and cant wait to see where it leads us in 5 months!! 

[mittensmorgul]

Hi Mittens! I hope this is a fun question for you: I’m working on a fic rn and thinking about the kinds of tropes that destiel has exhibited over the years, and I was wondering if you had any favorite tropes they’ve used in particular. They’re just incredibly fun to think about (I’m still not over the scene when Dean looks back at Cas whole Cas is surrounded by holy fire, for example). :)

Hi hi! And oh gosh... all the tropes are valid! *sniffle* :’D

I don’t know if I’d say I had a favorite trope they’ve used, since they’ve used so dang many of them over the years. I mean, this post was written two years ago and is a comprehensive breakdown of all the tropes that have been applied to Dean and Cas in canon, as well as a comparison to a variety of other canon romantic couples that’s incredibly eye-opening:

https://awed-frog.tumblr.com/post/154029322752/the-romance-arc-destiel

Then we have older posts such as this one that focuses more specifically on s8:

http://octoswan.tumblr.com/post/48057062023/an-argument-in-tropes-a-destiel-meta

If that wasn’t enough reading for you already, I have a tag for that! With the warning that I still haven’t got to my blog retagging project, and there’s a gap between about 11.04 and mid s13 that haven’t made it into that tag yet...

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/the+tropes+are+hungry/chrono

But as noted in the post at that first link, the relationship between Dean and Cas has utilized more than THREE TIMES the number of romance tropes that have been used to establish romance between characters in such notable films as Dirty Dancing and 10 Things I Hate About You. And nobody is stupid enough to argue that Baby and Johnny aren’t intended to be viewed as a romantic couple, you know?

But the fact that (at the time that first post was written, around the time that 12.07 aired, so nearly three years ago now, and they’ve used so many more as of the s14 hellatus that aren’t even included on that list) 67% of the romantic tropes over on tvtropes.com had been applied to Dean and Cas while in the Dirty Dancing example only 21% of the tropes were necessary to get audiences swooning over their lurve... well... we’ve got a TON of canon romantic tropes to pick from. And also as that first post says, a lot of the ones that are left are... probably ones we hope they’ll leave on the table, at least in canon. :’D

So which is my favorite? Heck, that’s like sending me into a candy store and telling me to pick just one. It’s unpossible! There’s just... so many :’D

That said... I love and will never be over the mixtape. Not just for what it is in itself-- which is romantically coded on its own-- but for the larger trope surrounding it. The fact that in that one scene we learned not only about the romantically-coded mixtape Dean made for Cas, and the fact Cas attempted to RETURN it to him before effectively “betraying Dean’s trust” in 12.19, and the general intimacy of that scene as a whole, but the larger point it made was that Dean and Cas do things together offscreen that are important to their relationship even if we never actually see them happening onsrcreen. THAT is probably my favorite romantically-coded trope they’ve used in the past several seasons. And they have used it-- specifically with Dean and Cas-- a lot.

I mean... 13.06 is CHOCK FULL of it. Everything from Cas being casually but intimately familiar with Dean’s habits-- from “he sleeps like a bear” to knowing how to fix Dean’s coffee in the morning-- to talking about past instances (from BEFORE CAS DIED IN 12.23) where Dean apparently regularly makes Cas watch movies with him (I’m your huckleberry). These are all things we never saw happening in canon, and yet canon is repeatedly reminding us of the fact that Dean and Cas know each other intimately and spend bucketloads of time doing things together even if WE never hear about them until they’re casually brought up again.

It’s happened so frequently in recent seasons that if it hasn’t led to viewers wondering what ELSE we don’t know about their relationship, then either said viewers are being deliberately obtuse or they’re just not paying attention. Full stop.

So yeah, if forced to pick one, that’s the one I’m going with. It’s the subtext, which has now risen so close to the surface that it’s practically punching everyone in the face in every episode.

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

SPN 14x20, Moriah -- Review

It's with a heavy heart that I must come to terms with the fact that this will be our last season finale, next year will be the series finale. We're about to embark on our last SPN Hellatus. It hurts so much thinking about that. But as far as a season finale goes, what an episode this was! This might be my favorite SPN season finale (and yes, I say that even with Swan Song in mind). In a season that has been very underwhelming for me, this season finale was awesome. I remember some time ago, Misha had tweeted that this season finale would be epic and I originally hadn't put too much stalk into that comment because after all, as the saying goes, "PR is not showrunning". And I remember hearing similar things about the season 13 finale and talk about how surprising it would be and it turned out to be just a so-so kind of finale and I'd predicted basically everything that was going to happen in it. But this finale was amazing. Like, it's so hard to talk about it because I honestly don't know where to start. I'm so glad that I went overboard on blacklisting tags last night because shit went down in this episode that I would've HATED to have had spoiled. Typically, I don't mind if I'm spoiled but this episode had the kind of things going on where you just have a much better experience if you don't already know for certain what's happening. But I think I've rambled in this introduction long enough. Let's get to talking about SPN 14x20, Moriah.

As always, there will be spoilers so if you haven't seen the episode, perhaps skip this. Like I said, this is not an episode you want to have spoiled for you.

I love episodes with Chuck in them. They're some of my favorite episodes. The show gets really self-aware and super meta when he's around for obvious reasons. And I love that the writers aren't afraid to go all the way with it. The digs at other writers, the digs at their own writing, it's great. Especially, the dig at writing in general. Essentially, throughout this episode we have this theme running around that Chuck is a writer and he's trying to write this perfect story and everytime he fails, he tosses it in the recycling bin and begins anew. But we have our heroes pointing out that these aren't meaningless words Chuck is simply writing down, he's messing with people's lives, what gives him the right to do that? Words have the power to change us. And when you think about it, that's what all writers do (at least in fiction but this can also happen in non-fiction, too). They manipulate their characters into fulfilling a certain type of narrative as it makes sense for the story and with little regard to how that person will feel about it. So I enjoyed that bit of self-awareness and meta put into it. When analyzing this show, we're always talking about story structure and how "insert horrible thing" has to happen for the purposes of the narrative and we have our heroes confronting Chuck about this and saying, "screw story-telling, you're putting us through the ringer so you can have a rounded story? We're done with this shit." Possibly foreshadowing for Season 15? Perhaps a different approach and bending the rules of story-telling is in Season 15's future? I'd be interested in seeing that.

We also got some truth-telling in this episode but unfortunately, the truths that needed to be told didn't get told. But I didn't really expect it to happen anyway. Hopefully, it'll happen sometime in season 15. I guess the idea behind this particular plot is that lying is necessary in order to create a peaceful environment and while that may be true, I feel like what was going on in this episode was a bad example to make a judgement on if whether or not a fully functioning society can thrive on truth-telling. Out of the blue you just suddenly had people telling the truth when they're so accustomed to be lying and to be lied at. So if you're not used to telling the truth or hearing the truth, of course it's going to throw you for a loop. It's very possible a perfectly well-functioning society can exist based on not being able to lie but the society needs to be raised in it and that's clearly not what was happening here.

Also, thank you Chuck for being stern with Dean when he broke your guitar. My heart cried when Dean destroyed that guitar. I come from a family of musically inclined leanings. We revere musical instruments as if they were living in my family. As a child, if I accidentally dropped my harmonica or flute, or I accidentally tripped over my father's grand piano while I was practicing gymnastics, you bet I was apologizing to these instruments. This show will not be complete in my eyes if Dean does not apologize to that guitar. Music is the conduit to and from our souls and I never want to see Dean treat a musical instrument with such ill-respect again. I'm sure you all think I'm joking but I'm being 100% serious. I don't joke about music.

Also, good on Sam for calling out Dean for being a nerd. I'm so happy that Sam is at a point where he feels comfortable on calling Dean out on these things. Dean needs to be called out more. After all, how can he really progress if no one's ever honest with him? And keep in mind, that's not me saying I hate Dean or anything. I don't, even with these last few episodes in mind. I'm just remarking that he has a lot of character development and progression he needs to get through in season 15. So Positive Police, you can stow your torches and pitch forks.

Have no fear, everyone. Mary is still among us. There were so many shots in that cemetery of the statue of Mother Mary that it has to be representative of the idea that Mary Winchester is watching over them. Either that, or the real Mother Mary is watching over them. And if that's the case, that would be an interesting figure to meet in the next season but I doubt we'll meet her though. For the most part, SPN tries to stay away from the specifics in religion. When they use religion, it's usually in more vague terms. But anyway, the amount of times the camera caught this statue in a scene, it truly can't be a coincidence so I'm taking it as representation that Mary is still with our heroes and watching over them which is a nice sentiment and definitely something they need on their journey of healing. I like to think that Dean noticed the statue on a subconscious level and that was in a subliminal sense speaking to him in a way.

I really liked in this episode how Cas felt like he had enough autonomy to essentially go against Dean. He was actively trying to keep Dean from killing Jack and saving Jack and before they were interrupted, Cas was even contemplating running away with Jack. Jack means that much to him that he was willing to throw away his relationship with Dean and that's real nice because for so long in this show, everything Cas does is normally attached to trying to help Dean in some way but here, this was something he specifically wanted to do for himself. His love for Jack is not linked in any way to Dean and he was willing to go against Dean to protect that love. Cas, I'm so proud of you.

And Chuck, my man. I have a lot of thoughts on everything that happened in the final act of this episode (I mean, what a final act this was!) but I'll try and be as succinct as possible. Chuck had me a little confused in this final act. I did see the bad!Chuck part coming. It's something I've always suspected since season 11. But the thing is, I'm not entirely sold on if Chuck is really the villain that he was made out to be in this final act. My reasoning? Well, when you watch that scene where Dean is contemplating shooting Jack, it's very evident that Dean is struggling with it but when he decides not to, he drops his arm holding the gun and we cut to Chuck who gives this very brief half-smile, almost like he was holding his breath and exhaling in relief when he saw Dean put the gun down. Why would Chuck do that if his goal was to get Dean to kill Jack for his story? And then he completely flips when Dean throws down the gun. Again, why? Why didn't he do that when Dean dropped his arm? It was very apparent from the time Dean let his arm fall that he wasn't going to shoot Jack so why would Chuck give that smile, wait for Dean to drop the gun and then lose his shit? My thought is that he wanted Dean to not shoot Jack and everything else that came after was just dressing his story for the next act in the Winchester Gospels. Perhaps Chuck is organizing his own death. Perhaps his real aim in all of this is by them taking on The End, possibly even killing Chuck, he can finally prove to our heroes that they don't need him anymore. And what also got me is that he claims that it's now The End and I'm just asking myself, "why?" From the other worlds we've seen, it doesn't look like he did it to these other worlds. He just kind of left them in the dumpster to do whatever they want.

Or perhaps Chuck really is doing everything for the sake of the story he's trying to write and the polar opposite mannerism I described earlier was just a delayed response in Chuck not quite realizing at the time that Dean really wasn't going to do it. And if Chuck really is writing off this world as another failed draft, perhaps this is a lesson he's going to learn in season 15 where sometimes your rough drafts are the best stories ever written. I also receive a kind of perverse enjoyment in this idea of Chuck doing everything he's doing for the sake of the story and ironically to create this wonderful story he wants, he created characters that almost certainly would go against him. He created characters that view their connections to others more important than anything else so why is he so surprised that when it came to killing one of their own, they couldn't do it? When has TFW ever been successful in simply letting the other members go?

And the ending with all the souls being released? I loved that the first soul we saw was Constance from the Pilot. Basically saying, "This is The End" by having the case that started it all be the first one to pop back up. I also thought it was interesting that Constance is a Woman in White and we literally just had a movie come out about this particular lore. It's probably not connected but I thought it was interesting, regardless. And Bloody Mary showing up? AKA my favorite MotW episode from season 1? Sign me up for Bloody Mary Part 2. I can't wait to see that.

I noticed that there was also kind of a smile on Jack's corpse-face. A very maniacal kind of smile that reminded me of the Empty. So I'm interested in seeing what that's leading into. Also, Billie and the Empty. What's going on with them? I'm excited to find out.

And this season keeps on continuing its trend with unreliable narrators and it's lovely to see. If anything, I love that this season has really been honing in on the idea that because you may ally with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're your friend or that they don't have their own goals and objectives.

Like I said before, I haven't exactly been this season's #1 fan. And that's not because I dont understand what this season has been trying to do with it's story-telling, I completely understand what it was trying to do. To me, it just had a tendency to miss its mark more often than not and it was doing a lot of things I personally didn't care about. While the season not being terrible but nor has it felt like it's anything really note-worthy, either. This is probably the season I'll re-watch the least. But despite the season's underwhelming nature, they really brought in a fantastic season finale. When I do re-watch this season, this episode is probably what I'll re-watch the most. Structurally, the episode dragged a little but content wise? It was amazing. I give this episode an A-.

Hopefully, my ramblings made some sense. I had so much to say but yet was having a really difficult time on figuring out how I wanted to articulate it. I can only hope I pulled it off. Tagging @metafest in case anyone there would like to weigh in.

And with the SPN season done, Shadowhunters soon to be done, I'm finally going to be able to catch up on my To Watch list that my lovely followers have been sending recommendations for. So definitely during this hellatus (our last one 😭) the bingeing will be in full effect for The Orville, The Magicians, Gravity Falls, AHS, etc. I haven't forgotten you all.

[rapha-reads]

Moriah (14x20)

...

What ? I mean, WHAT ?

First : I hate zombies. So much.

Second : Chuck is a jerk. And also, just ‘cause he doesn’t wanna be called God, doesn’t mean he isn’t the same guy who did all those things that are in the Bible ... (she says even though she’s profoundly atheist)

Third : what is Billie’s plan ? Or more accurately, her role in all of that ? Apparently Chuck cannot stand her - which immediately makes me like her ten times more, and I already liked a lot. And even the Empty seems to be wary of her.

And finally :  WHAT ? YOU JUST GONNA END IT THERE ? BLOODY HELL I HATE CLIFFHANGERS.

Well, Hellatus is going to be fun this year.

[mad-as-a-box-of-frogs]

Lmfao just deleted an entire post instead of fixing the tags. Ugh find summarized version:

1)Even though it was better handled than most deaths, the show didn’t do enough ground work to convince me that Mary, as she was in s14, would be ‘at peace’ in Heaven (which has never been an ideal place for Winchesters) just because she misses John and was lonely and isolated in her cabin. I just..no, sorry, the beginning of s14 seemed to imply she was making strides. I am le pissed~~

2)The deancas stuff is...whatever. I don’t enjoy it, but I don’t hate it. I respect Dean’s right to be mad, but yeah, the ‘you’re dead to me’ line is over the top. Dial it back, Bobo. This is one of those fights that no one will care about if Dean and Cas have a really great ending next year with Cas explicitly feeling like family, or more ideally, Dean apologizing within the next two eps before the hellatus. For now, fandom will be fandom, and it’s not fun right now, even if I do think it showed important clues for where Cas’s belonging arc is headed into endgame.

So yeah. This episode is what it is, designed to stress us out and give Mary a proper send off, but that doesn’t mean I necessarily enjoyed it. It’s easier to watch this stuff when you already know how it ends, and more than anything I’m just impatient for the end. Nothing matters to me except the boys getting a happy ending (which I acknowledge isn’t a good way to watch a tv show, it’s not the destination but the journey that matters and all that, but it is what it is.)

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

21 Supernatural Questions

Thanks to @sammit-janet for helping me procrastinate tonight!

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

Early December, 2014. I’d been sick for a month, already, and had run out of other shows I wanted to watch. I decided to watch that show that Misha Collins was on that my goddaughters used to watch. I got through 9.5 seasons by Christmas. That first hellatus was awful, and it’s how I got into the fandom. I needed more, found con videos, then fan fiction, and the rest is history!

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

It depends on the day. I usually say I’m Winchester-sexual, angel-curious!

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

Ugh. I don’t dislike any of them (though I miss BAMF early-seasons Cas who didn’t bleed much and could do things regular hunters couldn’t like see demons’ faces). If I had to rank them, I probably obsess over Cas the least.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs.

You’d ask me who my favorite children were, too, wouldn’t you? Not falling for that!

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

You’re killing me. You’re really killing me. I CAN’T PICK. Chuck? Donna? Jody? Rowena? I love John and Mary, but I don’t get squishy when I watch them on the show. Charlie? I literally squealed and frightened my husband when we saw AU!Charlie the first time. Ellen? There are too many and you can’t make me pick!!

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

Donna. She kicks ass and calls it butt.

7. John or Mary?

Gonna quote @sammit-janet directly, cuz she said it well: “Both.  I know people hate one or the other, but you cannot look at these parents with real-world glasses.  John had the mother of his children burned on the ceiling and he had no fucking clue about the Supernatural until then.  Once he did, he was on a mission to find whatever killed his wife.

“Mary made a deal to save the man she loved.  She would have stopped Azazel that night in the nursery too, but Michael erased her memory.  Now that she’s come back, well, don’t you think it’s a little disorienting to spend 32 years in heavenly bliss and then get thrust back down to earth and find out her children are living the exact life she didn’t want them to?

“Also, don’t forget, EVERYTHING was stacked against them.  Heaven made 100% sure that they got together just so Sam and Dean could be born and play out the apocalypse.”

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Sam: Tall, but the hair, and he’s a baby, I feel like a pedophile.

Dean: Older, still tall, wiseass, heart of gold, if he loves pie, I’m a goner!

Cas: HOLY FUCK.

Jack: If he’s good, I will hold him and love him and squeeze him and call him George. If he’s evil, I will cut him down with the flames of a thousand burning suns.

9. What’s your favorite season?

I really don’t have one. I have seasons I love more, and seasons I love less, but none are my favorites. The writing in the beginning was tighter, and felt like there was an end coming, which made it more electric. But I really love watching the boys grow and change and make better, smarter decisions, or make stupid decisions for bigger, better reasons. I dislike the degradation of angel powers, though. I mean, remember when Cas could smite an entire diner of monsters or demons with just a bright light, but this season he was beaten to pulp by a demon gang? And now that Heaven’s gates are all open, can Cas fly, again? I mean, they couldn’t fly because the closed gates cut them off from Heaven, but now the gates are open, so LET CAS FLY, DAMMIT.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

Season 7, although that season does have an inordinate amount of things I like about it, so it makes no sense. Story-wise, I get it. They had to systematically take away everything the boys valued in order to leave Sam the destroyed mess he was when Dean and Cas disappeared. I don’t like it when my boys hurt, but I understand why they did it. On the other hand, season 7 gave us Charlie, and Frank, and Garth, and Kevin, and numerous dick jokes, and Sam tied to a bed, and Cas naked on Dean’s car covered in bees. So torn, but when I rewatch the series, I take a deep breath when I start season 7. (During my most recent rewatch, I also took a breath when Toni Bevell came onto my screen, so I guess I now put 12 in with 7.)

11. Opinions on Destiel?

Canon - Dean is straight. He’s said multiple times he doesn’t swing that way. I wouldn’t object if the writers decided to change that, but I respect Jensen and the writers in their decision not to go that way. There are more and more diverse characters on our screen every year, and I’m okay with letting Dean be a cis het white male who loves women of all kinds. I would love if they did a Human!Impala episode and the Impala turned out to be John Barrowman, though. On the other hand, Cas is completely unconcerned with gender and sexuality, so I wouldn’t mind seeing him have a romantic thing with a guy. Pretty sure that would break the fandom, though, so not holding my breath.

Fanon - Holy cheeseballs, that boy swings harder than an old-time saloon door, and I love reading about him being so open to everyone. Give me all the guys banging Dean like a screen door in a hurricane. Dean is all the door metaphors and memes, including the memes about Cas loving to destroy doors. Show me these two idiots falling in love any way you got it. They were roommates, you say? YES. There was only one bed, you say? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. Dean’s a fireman and Cas is a nurse? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??? BRING IT.

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

Not intentionally, or maliciously, but I can see why some folks might think that, sometimes. It’s a fine line the show writers have to balance on when it comes to scenes with Dean and Cas because of the fandom’s obsession with Destiel. They want to show the love between the two characters as brothers, but it can’t be too much love. (However, I sometimes wonder about certain things. I would love to sit down with Jensen, Jerry Wanek, and Robbie Thompson, show them certain moments, and ask why certain decisions were made regarding framing, editing, props, and such. If they weren’t thinking Destiel, what were they thinking??)

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

You’re asking me to pick my kids, again. 1-7 is Kripke writing, 8-11 is Robbie Thompson writing, NO NO NO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DECIDE.

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

Crowley

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

YES. I’m cool with watching Nick progress into a big bad, but keep Lucifer in The Empty. (I just had a wild thought about The Empty, Lucifer, and The Shadow coming for Jack. Lord, I hope I’m wrong.)

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

Quoting Sammit again: “Sam.  He found out he had demon blood in him, was one of Azazel’s “chosen”, died by being stabbed in the back, went to hell for 100 years, lost his soul, was driven mad by Lucifer, almost died doing the trials, was possessed by Gadreel…did i leave anything out?”

Dean and Cas have also had their share, but if you want to quantify it, I think Sam has had more. 

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

Baby, Dog Dean Afternoon, Don’t Call Me Shurley, most of the other episodes writing by Robbie Thompson, too.

18. Do you like case episodes?

They are a nice breather in between the episodes where I can’t sit back for  moment.

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

I switch back and forth between Dean and Sam. I relate to Sam wanting to go to college to get away from his family, I relate to Dean’s eating habits, I understand why Sam’s done all the stupid shit he’s done, and I understand Dean not wanting to delve into things because it’s hard. Oh, and I say awesome almost as much as Dean. Cas, though, is a mystery to me. The only time I relate to him is when he’s confused by pop culture references.

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

The characters. They’re just so fucking interesting, you know? And (with some notable exceptions) the writers have managed to keep them from getting too far away from who they were in the pilot, while showing them growing and changing and improving. I love the world, I love the fantasy, and I love how universal they all are. I mean, if you took characters from another show and put them in a Beach AU, I wouldn’t be able to see it like I can with these characters. They’re awesome.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

Keep Lucifer dead, bring back Frank. I also want to see more of Linda Tran. Or Ellen, though I don’t know what they’d do with her with Mary around. I’d say Crowley, but I know that will never happen, and I understand why, so I’m letting him go.

Tag yourselves!

[ao3feed-murven]

Unrequited

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2MVBWvF

by mywritingiswack

Or is it? Clarke is in love with Bellamy, but she thinks he's not in love with her because these idiots. Bellamy is amazing as usual, being soft and all and I can't believe Clarke doesn't realize how much he is in love with her. Why am I complaining? I wrote this. Anyways, pain in a modern au. You're welcome.

Words: 1613, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The 100 (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, John Murphy (The 100), Raven Reyes, Miles Ezekiel Shaw, Echo (The 100)

Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy, John Murphy/Raven Reyes

Additional Tags: Angst, this was supposed to be short, but now here i am, and it's gonna be a long angsty slowburn ride, why do i cause myself pain, oh well, it's all my fault, Meh, who cares anyways, hellatus is already killing me, might as well let this kill me too, slowburn, Fluff, in a chapter or two, Modern Era, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, the both of them, Bellarke, mildy anti echo, mildly anti becho, do not read this for positive echo, i don't hate her, but like...i'm writing this from Clarke's pov too, so don't expect a lot of positivity pertaining to her

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2MVBWvF

[amwritingmeta]

Since Sam and Dean don't exist in au, Michael and Lucifer definitely skipped the true vessel bs then went to war with angels and demons in their true forms (angel blades sticking out of the ground proves it). That means au Cas is in his true form and Jimmy Novak is probably dead in a ditch somewhere. I hate the idea of Jack resurrecting Cas cause that'd be too easy and basically turns him into god. So when Misha comes back, how can they bring Cas back with him?

Nonny 1: i saw the ask in which the Anon is wondering if they would make Misha play AU Cas, but i don’t believe they would do that, in fact it really wouldn’t make a lick of sense, because Cas in that AU aint Cas, what made Cas the angel we know and love is that he was the one who pulled Dean out of hell, Dean who changed him and taught him free will, and in that AU dean was never born to begin with, so AU Cas would be just an angel.

Nonny 2: Hello! I was wondering about the possibilities and any possible theories on the bizzaro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world. Do you think that it could be explored, or that we might see AU! Cas? Not as in an outright replacement, but maybe 1 or 2 episodes with him as a commander of a garrison of angels? You’re by far one of the most optimistic meta writers I’ve met and I really need some happy speculation to get me through hellatus. Sorry if you’ve covered this before. Thanks!

Hello, lovelies!

So, three wonderful asks that all have to do with this AU World that’s been so suddenly thrown into the mix. I’m glad I get to tackle this topic! Thanks fawert and Nonnies! (and forgive my reply taking sooo long!)

The basis for the following speculation is that I believe the narrative is closing as the writers are moving it towards endgame. Everything in S11-S12 is telling me this because S11 began the movement by forcing Dean Winchester to admit to himself that he is properly, truly, madly and deeply in love with Cas. Read more on my thoughts about this here.

In short:

Dean Winchester is our Protagonist

His character growth is what informs the narrative

He wouldn’t have been set on this particular path of character growth if he hadn’t met Cas

Dean’s growth is what is allowing him to let go of Sam, ending the brodependency, and granting him the insight to find his true self-worth, through self-acceptance

His self-acceptance has a whole lot to do with letting go of his toxic masculinity spiel

His letting go of this will be most clearly demonstrated by him fully embracing the fact that he’s in love with a man

Happiness with the man he loves is Dean’s reward for completing his character growth, reaching the internal goal of his character arc: which is self-acceptance

(yeah) (he knows)

Now, I don’t know that this is where they’re taking the narrative, okay? Let me be perfectly clear about that. No one knows exactly what they’re planning (except the fuckers themselves) and they might go absolutely crazy in order to drag the narrative out for six more seasons.

However - and this is a big however, you guys - the writers have consistently, and with extreme due diligence, built a slow-burning love story between Dean and Cas that is beginning to peak - that’s what S12 gave us - meaning that going absolutely crazy to drag this love story out will jar with everything that’s come before.

Let’s not forget that our story is about love, and sacrifice, and love.

Love is mentioned twice by Metatron because our story has always been foremost about love.

The love between the brothers and the love between Dean and Cas. Without all that love - no sacrifice. (or manpain) (oh the manpain)

The fact of the matter is that the love between the brothers was set up from season one to evolve beyond their brodependency, and it would never have done that if it hadn’t been for Cas affecting Dean’s character growth. 

I know I’ve said it before, but hell, let’s say it again: 

the Destiel love story is integral to the narrative because it informs Dean’s character arc. 

And Dean is our Protagonist. 

His character arc informs the entire narrative and every single secondary character arc within it. Including Sam’s. It’s true!

Here’s a very recent example that proves it:

Dean shooting off that grenade launcher, and tearing down that first symbolic wall in 12x22, is what set off the amazing steps away from the brodependency that both brothers had managed by the end of 12x23. 

Dean shooting off the grenade launcher:

a) injured Dean, which brought him tob) telling Sam to go lead the attack on the BMoL without him

I could meta about the symbolism here until my fingers go numb, but this is not the post for that, safe to say: Dean tearing down walls is what led to him letting go of parenting!Dean, finally seeing Sam as the adult he is and being able to place his full faith in his little brother’s ability to manage by himself, and to lead, without Dean there to watch over him or guide him.

Fuck. Yes.

But to surmise: it was Dean the Protagonist who had to let Sam go - Sam couldn’t break free from Dean on his own.

Because Dean is the one who, primarily, needs to learn the big lessons that the narrative have been setting up for him through his character arc.

So my point is:

if they hurt the Destiel love story 

this love story, which is the very cornerstone of Dean’s character growth

by turning the tables and stalling said love story by, oh, I don’t know

bringing Cas back, but as a different character 

a character that doesn’t actually know Dean or have the shared history with him that our Cas does

->then they hurt the entire narrative they have built

And I cannot for the life of me believe that they would ever do that.

Not after nine years of carefully keeping this love story burning, removing a few coals now and again so that it wouldn’t flame up and singe the more delicate viewers, but still allowing it enough air to spread a lovely, warm glow, and (okay, enough of that now) (fine)

But you get my meaning here? Let’s boil my meaning down even further:

AU!Cas would effectively kill the love story

which would severely damage the overall narrative

would rob Dean and, by extension, Cas of their endgame rewards

which would cancel out the deeper purpose for all of Dean and Cas’ character growth

And so the mere thought makes absolutely no sense anywhere at all.

There will absolutely NOT be an AU!Cas to replace our Cas.

And I could slap Misha Collins for even hinting at the possibility of it, because he must know that all he’s doing is setting the speculation ball careening through the fandom. And it’s sadistic. (you are a sadist Misha Collins)

(see???)

fawert: I’ve already told you in a different post how much I loved your observations regarding the probable rules and circumstances of the AU World - eye-opening and I’m bound to agree with you because it looks the most plausible and, also, it’s gorgeous! And feeds my brain with all types of scenarios for Mary trying to survive that dystopian, war ridden place. *crackle*

Now, as for how they can bring Cas back, I’m speculating on what so many have already pointed to and speculated about (props to those who mentioned this first, I don’t know exactly who you are, sorry):

Spec 1 - Jack’s grace still lingering in Cas and reviving him

Though I sincerely don’t know how likely this is, I still feel the writers left themselves a loophole, because that grace can clearly perform fucking miracles and it was so obviously shown to us in 12x23 that Cas still possessed some of it, even if he couldn’t use it to ice Lucifer.

There should be a reason for it planted as a visual when he heals Dean. That visual didn’t need to be there: Cas tells Dean in dialogue that he can’t use the nephilim’s power anymore because killing Dagon took both him and Jack, so why the visual? If the lingering nephilim grace is useless anyway, why have Cas use it in order to heal Dean at all? Why not have Cas simply use his own powers, as he has all season? Hmmmmmm. *brow in deep creases*

So I strongly speculate that what we have been shown is to set up that Castiel the angel of the Lord is dead. Him dying an angel death for the first time ever was not for nothing. Dean’s angel is truly gone, and should be mourned.

But also because of this angel death, and thanks to the lingering nephilim grace, Cas is about to finally get the full human experience. *crossing fingers*

Spec 2 - Jack reviving Cas

Personally, I don’t think this is likely. I was convinced Kelly would survive the birth, that Jack would end up healing her or saving her rather than killing her, and her “I love you” right before Jack bright-light shone his way into the world makes me feel slightly vindicated. Because Kelly is the Good Mother who loved her son and willingly sacrificed her life to ensure he was born with all of his powers.

So, to my mind, baby Nephi was Good.

But Jack, in the form he is in now, leaving smouldering footprints on the floor, scaring the bejesus out of Sam: this Jack is most likely not going to simply touch Cas and bring him back to life. 

Firstly (and to me, most importantly): because Jack reviving Cas immediately and somehow brainwashing or controlling him or convincing him to stay as his Protector cancels out Cas’ dramatic death, and the effect it should have on our Protagonist. 

Cas died to further Dean’s character growth (and ultimately his own as well, of course) but if Jack revives Cas now, there’s no growth to be had for Dean.

We have seen Dean bereaved of Cas: Dean drinking himself into a near year long stupor

We have seen Dean pine for and wait for Cas: he kept Cas’ coat in the boot of his many, many different cars, expecting his return

We have seen Dean fight for Cas: he spent a year in Purgatory, keeping himself alive with the one aim to bring Cas home

We have yet to see Dean Winchester grieve for Cas without getting stuck in one of the 5 stages (and yes, everyone grieves differently, but for the sake of my argument, I’m assigning Dean the need to move through all 5 stages)

We have never seen him truly, deeply believing there is no hope for Cas to ever come back to him and accept this as a fact that is entirely out of his power of control.

For us to watch him, for the first time, go through each of the 5 Stages of Grief, he is first going to have to bury Cas’ body, put it in the ground, and yes, deny, bargain, get angry, get depressed over Cas’ death - he needs to go through all of this - but once he reaches acceptance for the first time in his entire character arc, then I would love it if this is the moment Cas is revived and finds his way back to the brothers. I would absolutely fall to pieces with happiness.

Especially if it’s human!Cas who’s finding his way back. I mean, just imagine the possibilities for character growth, for the joint love story to evolve and deepen into something undeniable.

It would do such wonders for both Dean and Cas’ character arcs if Cas came back as a human and came back early in the season, so that we get to watch him do all that character growth, finding his place, finally, in himself, and through it, with the brothers, within the world at large and, ultimately, taking up the space next to Dean in the Impala. 

(Because Sam will be MoLing)

Secondly: because Jack reviving Cas immediately and somehow brainwashing or controlling him or convincing him to stay as his Protector only works if Jack indeed chose Cas as his Protector, but, to my mind, based on how I read the narrative of 12x19 and baby Nephi being good, Jack didn’t chose Cas: baby Nephi chose Cas.

The nephilim’s angelic side chose Cas.

Jack, as I see it, is the Opposite of the nephilim’s angelic side, and so I would put forward the possibility that this Newborn Jack will not feel tied to Cas in any way.

Newborn Jack could, absolutely, be the spitting image of Daddy Devil. Newborn Jack could be the Corruptor and Deceiver, and I believe this is the whole point for the Opposites, shown to us in how baby Nephi was presented through the 12x19 narrative rejecting Evil at every turn, and how we are presented to Newborn Jack through Sam finding him, smiling, in the corner of the darkened nursery.

(first impressions will hopefully not last)

Now, here’s what I’d like, because my brain *crackles* with the dramatic conflict:

Rather than Newborn Jack darting off - which is one of the possibilities at the back of my head - I think they’ll choose to keep Newborn Jack with the brothers, keep his actual intentions ambiguous, and leave us wondering whether he’s an angel or a demon or a little bit of both, but mostly demon, it seems, or is he actually good? Hmmmmm? We just won’t be able to properly tell.

I can see them playing with a Dexter sense of danger around Newborn Jack, where he’s observing them all like they’re lab rats, but where, ultimately, their behaviour and TFW placing true faith in him making the right choices will lead to him connecting with his inherent Humanity.

Spec 3 - Regarding the bizzaro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world

(Would love for this to be the official fandom denomination, btw - let’s throw it in the hat!)

Do I believe they’ll explore this world?

Yes: if the question is with regards to Mary being trapped in it.

They may choose to build it as part of Mary’s self-acceptance arc, where she gets to see what the world would be like without her boys and what her choices actually did for the world. Namely: save the hell out of it. It could be poignant that Luci is stuck over there as well, but more for the plot than his character arc, I should think. He’ll come back all threatening and badass, I’m sure.

No: if the question is regarding expanding the SPN Universe to now include this other dimension, and possibly more of them, spinning the series into a time-traveling multidimensional party cracker of narrative possibility that will last for years and years to come.

No.

I sincerely doubt it.

Because of the aforementioned reasons of Dean as our Protagonist and his character arc and growth and endgame and building the narrative around this for twelve years. (more or less for twelve years) (I know Sam started out as the Protagonist) (though I would like to call bullshit on this for reasons) (whatever)

Spec 4 - Do I believe the bizarro-Narnia AU-where-Dean-and-Sam were never born world will affect the SPN reality we’ve come to know and love?

Possibly.

I can see something slipping through the cracks. Or Mary and Lucifer both returning with new information and it becomes a race to outwit the other, find the key to the universe first (or is that what Jack is supposed to be) or something crazy and huge like that.

But I am of the impression that the AU World is nothing more than a plot device, used to show us - the audience - what our world would be if it weren’t for the Winchesters.

As the narrative has entered the final act, as they are tying it up, looping it back to the beginning with callback after callback, this underlining of how all the misery, and heartbreak, and manpain that the brothers Winchester have been put through, has all been worth it makes perfect sense, and underpins the validity of the narrative as a whole. Which I like.

I truly can’t see the AU World serving any further purpose than that of the pure plot device that was Purgatory, which the writers cleverly used to show us exactly how much Cas means to Dean, and vice versa, and to grant Cas the chance to repent, so that he’d be able to believably move on from the severe error in judgment he was guilty of when he let the Leviathan into the world. This time it’s Mary’s turn to repent and to forgive herself, which goes nicely with her and Cas paralleling each other’s arcs for all of S12.

Spec 5 - Will we see an AU!Cas in any shape or form?

Possibly through Mary, yes, but I sincerely doubt they’d bring AU!Cas into the middle of the heartbreak that will be grieving!Dean. I mean, they could. They might very well do that. But it’d be fucked up. And I agree with both fawert and our other Nonny who pointed out that Castiel would, most likely, not even be possessing Jimmy Novak anymore. (aka Misha Collins) (…the sadist) 

So what would be the point of bringing Castiel the angel of the Lord into the mix?

Castiel in our reality is dead. He has died. 

We need to feel his death with Dean. 

We want to feel it with him, not be distracted by some Cas wannabe stomping onto the scene, taking up our Cas’ vacant space. No, thank you. Right?

I think the writers will want to torment us (they are sadists along with Misha the sadist Collins) (all writers are) (yours truly included) (so, you know, stones thrown at glass and all that) Anyway, they won’t just revive Cas within minutes or even within the first episode. I believe he’ll be put in the ground. Or, to be honest, I would like for him to be put in the ground. Obviously they won’t burn him.

So, to point to the most important sentence on offer in this post:

There will not be an AU!Cas to replace our Cas.

Ever.

(also Misha Collins is a sadist)

[tinkdw]

12x18 - An episode all about foreshadowing and Dean’s emotional state

So, I have my own POV on season end that I know I talk about a lot, that differs from the, well, proper meta writers, I believe.... so my POV is perhaps slightly different, but for me this episode cements this even further.... and I’ll explain why. 

This whole episode to me is all about misdirection and distraction and has massive foreshadowing for the season finale. It twists and turns through so much misdirection to ultimately lead to Dean being in real danger and Sam killing the monster, twice over, both the human monster and the supernatural being, to hammer the point home. Meanwhile there are a whole lot of references to Cas as well that massively fit with my season conclusion speculation (even though I seem to be relatively in a party of 1 or, well 3 from what I can tell with my chatty buds, but its not universal...).

Oh and Dean, wow, well, I’ve seen loads of waitress meta which is all awesome but for me its the comparison of her with the 12x11 waitress that really cements what is going on here in terms of the distraction they bring and Dean’s angst.

Meanwhile this whole episode IS a distraction as Ketch sent them the case to distract them and get them out of the bunker.

There is so much misdirection in this episode.

Under the cut: both waitresses as the exposition for Dean’s sliding scale of emotional angst and how this episode overall foreshadows season end for me.

The Waitress.

I love all the amazing meta around this and I totally agree with it all, but I haven't seen yet anyone compare her to 12x11 and I think this is so important in the overall narrative of Dean’s emotional state this season.

ALL the meta about the waitress being a distraction and a substitute for Cas, just as the omelette is for Dean’s beloved pancakes literally moments after, not even subtly wedged in there. Yeah, totally agreed. So I won't expand, its been so well meta-d already.

I’m just going to add that for me, the words “work smarter Sammy, not harder”, feel like he is actively telling us that he is aware of what he is doing? Plus the main point:

The waitress is a nameless, voiceless, relatively faceless character and this is what she is to Dean. He’s not a monster, he doesn't force her into anything but Dean is our protagonist, we should see him taking an interest in her at least briefly, but we don't and that is for a reason, we, the audience are seeing her through his POV, that’s how this works. He literally decides he’s going for it and bam, its done, even more so than 12x11, because he is feeling even worse at this point, he needs the distraction even more. 

It’s like these two waitresses are our insight into Dean’s worsening emotional state through how much he cares / doesn't care while he is distracting himself and how much we see of them and their character. Also the fact that 12x11 was only implied sex whereas now it is canon, because they’re the exposition of the sliding scale of Dean’s angst.

This waitress is generic in exactly the same way as Dean’s pick up line is generic, so generic that Sam knows exactly what he is going to say before he says it. Because Sam knows this is what he does (but does he realise its a coping mechanism or still see it as performing!Dean?), and when push comes to shove and Dean is feeling again after having distracted himself for one ‘awesome’ night (cos yeah, it must be so awesome to be distracted from ALL the crap he's got pushed his way over the last few weeks!) he cuts the crap and tells Sam to “grow up”. 

And he then totally ignores the waitress pretty much afterwards? Sitting at the diner eating his burger he doesn't even look over and wink at her for Sam’s benefit? Yeah, she's a distraction, literally, that is all. 

Even if I wasn't completely in love with the Dean/Cas love story I would see that he was emotionally worse off than 12x11 and distracting himself from something and look for what was shown as emotionally upsetting him earlier in the episode and throughout the last run of episodes....

Oh, also I totally see her resemblance to Mary as an intentional call back to Dean’s emotional state being due to both Cas and Mary at this point, not a weird incest-y vibe but intentionally to subtextually squeeze her in here too as Mary is so very relevant to Dean’s angst this season.

The foreshadowing.

The Misdirection:

- Darren being labelled but not guilty. 

- The misdirection around Black bill / Moloch  

- which is the monster. 

- They think Moloch is in the basement but he's at the plant. 

- They think the Sheriff is the bad guy but it’s his brother.

- Ketch “just as I though they can't see a damn thing”  Ohhohohoho I think you'll find Dean Winchester sees it all, pal. MORE misdirection. 

So, aside from this, Darren is, well, a mirror for so much, the poor kid.

He firstly is labelled for something that he is not guilty of (and I use the word labelled as I think this is particularly important what with Dean’s Agent Martell pseudonym amidst all the bi!Dean / Dean’s facade narrative this season and Dean’s loss of patience with it all).

Then Darren gets locked up by his boss and he tries to communicate / shout out to Sam and Dean but can’t and is eventually killed by the real, big bad monster? While in our story Cas is off with the Angels and I’m expecting a separation at the end of the season? That’s not worrisome foreshadowing at all?!

So.... why do I think this is all one big foreshadowing episode?

Well, my personal wishlist / headcanon for the season finale is that:

1. Lucifer attempts to kill Dean because Lucifer HATES Humanity and Dean represents Humanity.

2. Cas sacrifices himself to save Dean because Cas LOVES Humanity and Dean (also probably some relatively unambiguous love declaration here). Enter hellatus. 

This also fits my Cas = Jesus theory and all the season 6 parallels where he ‘died’ (I’m also headcanoning a ‘break up’ in 12x19 as a 6x20 call back, the eye-conversation and shouting, in a “I’m you, but stronger” way of course ;). There’s so much narrative foreshadowing this season for Cas dying (which I know some have taken as the rule of 3 in that he won't die in the end, which also works and is also relevant too as I do not think for one second it is permanent, but will at least lend itself to a season 7 style separation for a while), there’s cast leaks/trolling.... According to Mark P we will really hate Lucifer and Jason Fischer’s tweet yesterday (thank you @godshipsit):

“Holy #%*€¥!! I'm in Mexico when eps 23 airs but I'm watching social media for the freak out. You thought other hellatus where bad....” 

makes a lot of sense. 

Oh and Sam’s “It’s Cas, he’ll be fine” is what cements it for me. I mean, you CANT have a character say stuff like that after the other times one of them has said that and he’s NOT been OK, with Dean now worriedly looking like he remembers all these times and thats exactly why he is worried, and NOT make me immediately think “oh, yeah, ok, he’s so going to die”.

I mean, we know if Sam/Dean die it won't stick but people will worry/freak out if it’s Cas (I WONT THOUGH, HE IS NOT GONNA GET KILLED OFF, it’s just the ‘break up’/separation part of the story). I mean, this season needs drama. It’s been building and building. 

Also I say die, but it might be a ‘death’ or it might just be very painful, but the point being the same and the separation being key.

The season also needs some kind of resolution of the Dean/Cas story which has also been building and building throughout the season to the point that they can't be in the same room or it feels awkward and like there’s the biggest, most rainbows coloured elephant in the room. 

As @floralmotif says the payoff has to be big so I’m thinking DRAMA. (I’m not saying floralmotif agrees with this theory of course, but they've taught me a lot about the general gist of the way stories work structurally). 

3. Sam kills Lucifer because well Lucifer is Sam’s arc and he needs closure. Also Lucifer has to go. PLEASE.

I also see how misdirection and distraction is going to be central to the season finale, and with all our meta about Dean knowing when Sam and Mary were lying? Most probably knowing that the bunker is compromised? The way Sam laid the phone on the table right over the bug rather than holding it? 

The way so many people have been screaming OOC while some of us sit back and kind of just expect a subversion/flip the script of sorts....

So, in this episode full of misdirection and distraction, while the BMOL seem to think they're on top but we see in the subtext that they are NOT. Where nothing is quite as it seems but is also quite simple, where Dean’s emotional state is clearly compromised, where Darren is locked away by his boss and unable to communicate with Sam and Dean, Dean ends up in mortal danger from the big bad and Sam ends up killing it, twice. 

Meanwhile Cas is absent, Dean is worrying his socks off and his distraction high lasts all of what, 15 seconds? Sam saves the day... 

Also interesting (though I’m not sure its entirely relevant but I’m thinking potentially it might be seeing as how I think all the rest is) how the dead mother in this episode is central to the whole story STARTING and to the brother’s emotional states and where they are at, leading to the choices they make, but is not central per se to how the story actually ENDS...

So can you see how I just see 12x18 as real foreshadowing? Given that it’s written by Dabb’s understudy as well?

[mittensmorgul]

Hey Mittens...! So I had a thought. At the end of the finale, when Chuck disappeared and the sky turned to night...I mean, the rest of the city (state? world?) also turned to darkness? Maybe in 15 people find out about monsters. And maybe a new team of hunters forms? Caesar and Jesse? But I mean all the monsters coming back also opens the door for so many more people to come back, too! Bella? Benny? Becky?

Hi hi!

I’ve been kind of trying to avoid saying it, because I hate to be a wet blanket, and I’ll happily watch all the crack theories and hellatus fun (and probably write some myself, let’s be real here), but when I get serious sounding questions on this (and I have A LOT of them in my inbox that I’ve been dodging for the last few days), I feel compelled to give my serious answer...

Not to say I won’t enjoy all the crack on this over the summer, but I really do feel the need to be honest here. I don’t think all the monsters are coming back. I don’t think there’s gonna be mass resurrections, or that all the zombies and ghosts and whatever popped outta hell we saw in the finale are gonna be a problem past 15.01...

I mean, with Billie-- whose special superpower is being able to round up the dead and dispatch back to where they belong-- currently plotting with the Shadow and Jack in the Empty, I think that’s a situation that can be cleared up with a snap. And that she’s gonna do that as soon as she hashes things out with Jack.

Because those weren’t just random monsters. Everything Chuck raised with that finger snap were human souls. Ghosts, souls from Hell, even zombies. Not monsters. Souls.

The three things from the Winchesters’ past we saw return:

1. The Woman In White, Constance Welch, from 1.01. A ghost. Literally the show’s FIRST ghost. Who almost killed Sam, but provided enough of a distraction for Terrible Things to happen in Sam’s quiet college life (Jessica getting killed, his apartment burning). It was the inciting incident of the entire series. Aka, the first real sign of Chuck’s influence on the story, retroactively speaking. And also a ghost who could “never go home” because she’d killed her own children:

They’d “laid her to rest” by forcing her back home, where she was confronted and consumed by her own guilt in the form of her children’s ghosts.

2. Bloody Mary, another ghost from the fifth episode of the series, in which Sam had to confront HIMSELF in the mirror to evoke her ghost. 

She literally crawls out of her broken mirror, and Dean “lays her to rest” by forcing her to face her own reflection and confront her OWN guilt for the deaths she’s caused, and then smashing THAT mirror.

Bloody Mary was about lies, guilt, and the refusal to face one’s responsibility. She showed her victims the truth, about the guilt they harbored over the deaths of loved ones-- deserved or not. Which also tied into Sam’s feelings of guilt over Jess’s death. At the end of that episode, Sam thinks he sees Jessica standing on the roadside, dressed in white... Kinda on-the-nose callback in a season where the story was so heavily told through narrative mirrors. With a huge scene about nobody being able to lie, in a placed called “Mirror Universe” where their business is literally “facial recognition.” Identity, reflection, definition of self. Yeah, on the nose callback.

3. The Gacy Clown ghost from 14.13. 

From the episode that used Dean’s wish to almost rewrite history. That brought John back for one final goodbye, about laying the baggage of the past down and recognizing the fact they’re HAPPY with their lives now, or at least that they wouldn’t change them even if given the chance. But this was the ghost that gave us a wider glimpse of their regular lives outside of hunting, around Lebanon, and gave us a glimpse of the Winchesters from an outsider perspective. This was the ghost of what-if’s, and they burned him good.

Because I honestly think the whole point is that you can’t change the past. You can’t rewrite history, and more importantly, they don’t want to. I can’t really see any point to literally undoing everything they’ve done, you know? Aside from Chuck being petty and forcing them into a complete do-over of their entire lives, I really don’t see a point in rewriting all their greatest hits this way, you know?

Because the show has already done this several times. Most recently in 14.13. But also throughout the entire series. Dean’s djinn dream in 2.20, for example, forced him to confront a world in which he’d never saved any of the people that they saved. 7.06 used their past as a trail and a trap, with the Leviathan versions of Sam and Dean on a road trip of destruction beginning in Jericho (where Constance Welch was from in 1.01) and going in order through every town where they worked a case until Sam and Dean caught on to the pattern and skipped ahead to catch them. And then in 8.22 Crowley used the same tactic, of killing specific people they’d saved along the way-- the kid from 1.02, Jenny Kline from 7.05, Sarah from 1.19, and then attempting to kill Jody Mills. It’s just... it’s been done from all sorts of angles, and I don’t think the show is literally gonna retreat s1 again... metaphorically and through mirrors? Sure. Yeah.

But I think that montage was more for US than it was a depiction of the current state of the world the Winchesters will have to face throughout s15.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I can’t see it. I think they’re gonna be telling us a different story from here on out. They almost have to, by necessity. This is their last shot at emancipation from the narrative spiral, you know? This is jump time. Not jump back to the beginning for a cosmic do-over time...

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/supernaturals-bad-place-left-us-prehistoric-place/

'Supernatural's' Bad Place left us in a prehistoric place

I LOVED last week’s episode of Supernatural, so I went into this week’s with high expectations, especially because this was the lead-in to the Wayward Sisters pilot episode that happens when we return from Hellatus. ‘The Bad Place’ turned out to be a wild rollercoaster of a ride that kept me on the edge of my seat – it literally looked and felt like a feature film crammed into 42 minutes! That’s not to say I loved all of it, but it definitely did a great job of setting up the possible spinoff while simultaneously entertaining me throughout. So, what I liked?  Well, I really liked Jack. It was nice to meet Alexander Calvert at last weekend’s Supernatural convention and to be able to tell him in person what a fabulous job he’s doing on this show, because DAMN. I have been rooting for Jack since the beginning, which says a lot about Calvert’s acting and the way he’s been written considering he’s Lucifer’s son. I didn’t think I’d like him at all before Jack was born, so I wasn’t even prepared to care about the character – but I do. We open with a young Native American artist, Derek, and his girlfriend discussing the difficulties of making a living through art, which, YES. Enter Jack, a prospective buyer. Derek: You’re young. Jack: I am. I laughed out loud at Calvert’s delivery, and the fresh-faced expression on Jack’s face. He manages to make Jack entirely likable while also playing him with a hint of wait-is-that-a-menacing-look so I’m always a little off base and unsure. I was so horrified when we thought that Jack killed Derek, it actually made me a little sick to my stomach. I don’t WANT Jack to go dark side, Show! And that says something very good about how the character is being written and acted because I actually CARE about him. Berens does a good job of incorporating a bit of Native American lore, and casting does a good job as they almost always do with finding an actor  (Nathaniel Arcand) who makes us care about him even in the four minutes he was in the episode! Arcand is not just very good looking; he invests Derek with personality too. I hated seeing Derek lying on the floor with his eyes burnt out, his horrified girlfriend screaming. I think I might have been muttering No No No Jack No No No, much to my family’s dismay. And who does Jack see as he hitches a ride with the Dreamwalker? Mary, now in the hanging cage that Lucifer was being tortured in. That didn’t help my poor stomach at all. There’s more to like about Jack in this episode, but let me more or less follow the episode’s progression because there was a lot happening! While Jack is out hitching a ride with a dreamwalker, Dean and Sam are desperate to find Jack. So desperate that Dean is doing something that felt a bit out of character to me – calling Patience. After he told her to stay out of the life and stick to normal if she possibly could, he’s calling her to ask for her help in finding Jack. Yes, he acknowledges the change of heart and the reason, but I couldn’t quite get my head around it. Especially when we see that he’s called her six times! That’s called stalking, Dean. It all feels a little more worrisome when this is a high school student we’re talking about. So that wasn’t one of the things I especially liked in this episode. Patience (Clark Back), for her part, is having a tough time of it even apart from Dean Winchester being intrusive. She’s lying to her dad (played by Adrian Holmes - which he somehow doesn’t realize even though it seems fairly obvious to me) about having visions, and her grades are suffering for it. If you can call getting a C suffering, that is. I work with clients all the time whose perfectionism is definitely not doing them any favors, so I really bristled when Patience’s dad told her in no uncertain terms that only perfect grades and SATS were acceptable. Bad parenting, Patience’s dad! The dads on Supernatural make some really crappy decisions, and this dad takes a page out of the John Winchester parenting handbook by telling Patience that if she leaves and “chooses that life,” she can’t come back. WHAT? I mean, I knew he made bad decisions after the whole decade of lying to Patience about her grandmother Missouri, but this was almost worse. Who sets those kinds of limits on your kid when it’s clear they’re trying to do something GOOD?? Poor Patience. Good thing she kept Jody’s business card. Speaking of Jody, she calls Sam and Dean with a lead on Jack and they head to Derek’s studio to talk with the traumatized girlfriend. There they learn he was a Dreamwalker and see the painting that lets them know he’s been to the AU – Apocalypse World as we’re now calling it. Sam and Dean get in the car, in front of a big beautiful blue winged mural on the side of the studio so kudos to Jerry Wanek and his team of wizards. Dean knows this is Season 13 so he keeps to the new norms, thankfully. Dean to Sam: We gonna talk about it? Of course they are, because this is Season 13! Dean: Looks like Jack gave up on us and is looking for his daddy. Me: (and Sam probably) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Dean: This isn’t an I told you so. I actually like the kid. I liked that little conversation so much, because it’s the Winchesters really being open with each other. Before Sam can misinterpret, Dean lets him know how he’s actually feeling and that this is not what he wanted either. Season 13! Another thing I really liked? Kaia Nieves (Yadira Guevera-Prip). We first meet her in a group therapy session (with a not so great therapist, which always makes me feel a little defensive for my profession, but whatever). Kaia is revealed to us little by little, covered up all over and hiding under a hood and under her well-honed snarky defenses. Her portrayal was so realistic that I found myself thoroughly believing her as a reluctant, defended client – both the acting and the writing were spot on. Even her little quip about Trump rang so true (I guess on the show we’ve intersected with real life now that the Lucifer-possessed president guy is out of the way). She actually sounds just like an addict in denial, which is how the therapist treats her, but when Kaia says she doesn’t want to go to “the bad place”, she means something much more literal. She too is a Dreamwalker, but instead of being able to go where she wants, she always ends up there – and comes back not only psychologically scarred but literally bloodied. Those scars she’s hiding under her sleeves are not from cutting. (Also did anyone else keep getting Dark Angel feels every time someone talks about ‘the bad place”?? Shades of Jensen Ackles’ brilliant portrayal of Ben, one of the most tragic characters I’ve ever encountered) Jack shows up, and he’s progressed from “I like nougat” to “I like cocaine” alarmingly fast. Kaia’s reaction was brilliant – Yadira’s facial expressions are amazing in conveying so much, from shock to humor to horror to joy. Kaia: (bemused) Okay, Suite Life… The little shout out to Kim Rhodes’ previous series was a nice touch, Mr. Berens. Jack breaks her out, and I worry that the guard he took down isn’t really just “sleeping” because we don’t yet know that Jack did not, in fact, kill Derek. But we find out quickly because the Winchesters show up right about then. Sam shares the details of Kaia’s tragic life story with Dean, who sums it up with “bad hand…” I’ll say. I already have a lot of empathy for Kaia, but that seals the deal. Meanwhile, Kaia is proving herself not only relatable but badass. And smart. She refuses to go with the creepy stranger who can break through triple locked doors and knock people out by touching them – I mean, odd decision, but…  Jack is distracted by Sam and Dean, which gives Kaia a chance to haul off and punch him and run away. Jack: (indignant) She hit me! Then we get one of my favorite scenes in the episode, during which Calvert, Jared Padalecki, and Jensen Ackles all knock it out of the park (with help from Berens and director Phil Sgriccia). Jack: I’m doing this for you! I wanted to prove to you that I’m good. So I did the thing you wanted the most…. I researched, like you taught me… And I saw her. Your mother. She’s alive. Dean: (absolutely dumbfounded and already overcome with emotion) What? Jack shows them what he saw, and they actually SEE Mary being tortured, and hear her calling out for help. It must KILL them to see and hear that and not be able to do anything. Dean: (sounding broken) Mom! There’s a moment then where we focus on Dean’s face, and everything else that’s going on seems to fade into the background. He turns away slightly from Jack and from Sam, a look of shock on his face at finding out his mother is alive. And then, in just a few seconds, you can see his expression harden, his jaw set. That right there is Dean Winchester swearing to god that he will do whatever it takes to save his mother. It’s Dean channeling John every time he put his boys into danger to try to save Mary. It literally gave me goosebumps. The other incredible scene I LOVED was the “car scene,” with Dean and Sam in the front and Jack in the back as they go after Kaia. Berens shared that as originally scripted and shot, that scene was much shorter. But the episode actually (miraculously) came in under time, so they had some time left to fill. They “collaborated and spitballed” and realized they could reshoot the scene in an extended version. Berens added that it “felt like a cosmic gift.” And I definitely agree! Berens: Strong case to be made it’s the MOST important scene in the ep, the emotional payload, and we almost didn’t have it. ALL that stuff was written as subtext to the episode but it became clear I messed up, we NEEDED to see that moment. So Phil shot it perfectly, and of course Jared, Jensen and Alex hit it out of the park. So lucky. I’ll say. Also, the Season 13 rules about open communication are still in play, and I am ridiculously grateful for that. Dean to Sam: You were right. This whole time… We should have been looking for her. Sam tries to console his brother because he KNOWS how hard Dean will take this, saying he didn’t know, he just hoped. But it’s clear that Dean is taking this on himself, guilty and traumatized because he gave up on his mother. Dean (and me) struggled mightily with Sam giving up on looking for Dean way back in the Amelia season, so this is something that must really hit home for him. And that worries me. Dean: We find her. No matter what. Me: Uh oh. Then there is the absolutely wonderful conversation that came from reshooting the scene and being able to make it longer. It makes me wonder what kind of glorious moments we would have if our show always had the luxury of time, because this? This was effing magic. Dean: Kid, you okay? I smile every time Dean calls him ‘kid.’ Jack is not, in fact, okay. He realizes that the Winchesters believed he was capable of doing something awful like killing Derek. Sam struggles to explain, and Jared does an amazing job making it incredibly real and poignant. You can hear Sam’s voice shake; he even stumbles over his words a little in an attempt to make something awkward understandable. Dean finally admits that they thought he went looking for his father. Jack: Lucifer? He’s no one to me. You – Castiel – you’re my family. Dean doesn’t even hesitate. Dean: Yes. Yes, we are. Me: Tissues! Dean: Finding mom, you did a good thing, kid. A real good thing. The small smile on Jack’s face made me tear up. And the look on Sam’s face when he hears Dean say that! There are tears in his eyes, and he just looks so…. Relieved? Happy? It made me happy too. Kaia, in the interim, gets kidnapped by a bunch of angels who are of course dicks because really, angels are the worst on Supernatural. I get that they’re desperate with the whole going extinct thing, but wow, they are really awful other than Cas. I continue to adore Kaia, both the acting and the writing. The angels tell her they’re using her as bait to lure the Winchesters and Jack, and she scoffs. Kaia: They won’t come for me, you picked the wrong bait. No one’s gonna fight for me. I’m not white, I’m not rich, I’m not blonde. I don’t matter. That line didn’t pull any punches, and it hit many fans very hard. Several people on my timeline posted that there were tears streaming down their faces, they were so shocked and so validated to hear a person of color be that outright on a television show. But Jack and the Winchesters do show up, and the angels try to talk Jack into coming back to Heaven with them, saying he belongs with his own kind. Dick angel: Come home. Jack: (glancing at Sam and Dean): I am home. Me: Tissues! Jack saves the Winchesters’ very fine asses, much to Kaia’s shock. Then try to explain to her who they are and what they do. Winchesters: We’re hunters. Kaia: And he’s the son of Satan. Jack: I am, yes. At some point in here, the actress ad-libbed an under her breath “What the f—k,” which was glorious. And which Sgriccia left in, bless him. The next scene is the one I had a big problem with, as did a fair number of fans. Sam pleads with Kaia to help them find their mom, trying to explain what’s needed.  He even uses his puppy dog eyes. Jack tries too, telling her “we need you.” Dean listens, then adds his own plea, which goes right to the heart of where Dean Winchester’s head is at right now. Dean: We can save her. But Kaia says no. She only goes to the bad place when she dream walks, and she doesn’t come back unscathed. Again, she says no. There’s a loaded pause, and Sam reluctantly says what we’ve heard the Winchesters say many times when someone is reluctant to put their lives on the line. Sam: We’ll find another way… Dean interrupts him, pulling his gun and quietly cocking it. Sam: Dean. Dean? Sam looks shocked, and in my living room, I am literally gaping. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DEAN?? I even had a brief moment of wait, is that Dean? Did he somehow get possessed? Dean: Get in the car. Kaia hesitates, still unwilling. And then the most shocking thing happens – Dean suddenly LOSES IT, brandishing his gun and yelling GET IN THE DAMN CAR! I legit screamed because Dean Winchester scared the crap out of me, and then for some reason, I covered my ears as though that would make it not be happening. (Yes, I know, I’m kinda invested in this tv show, what can I say?) Kaia looks as frightened as me, and she gets in the car – I mean, who WOULDN’T get in the car with Dean Winchester yelling at you like that? My timeline immediately split into “I’m terrified” and “Uh that was weirdly hot” while I felt just like Sam looked – just plain shocked. Dean: We’re going to South Dakota. I think I understand what they’re going for here – why Dean is acting so not Dean. This is his mother, his family. Who is being tortured RIGHT NOW and is screaming for him to help her. He can no more leave her to that than he could leave Sam – he will move heaven and earth to save his family. I know that, I love that about the character. But this just felt a bridge too far for me. Kaia is a teenager (I’m assuming) and a vulnerable one at that. She clearly said no and he ignored it and forced her into the car – he essentially kidnapped her just like the angel dicks did. Not for as nefarious ends, sure, but whoa. I had a hard time reconciling that Dean with the Dean I know and love. I know Dean has been in a bad place himself this season, and I know how prone he is to throw mountains of guilt on himself – and that makes people do pretty crazy things. I’m guessing he can rationalize it with it’s for the ultimate good and he’ll be sure she’s safe, but it becomes clear pretty quickly (and really he knows) that he can’t do that. And we just heard all about her tragic life so far and how awful it is for her to go to the bad place, so forcing her there is just hard to swallow. Maybe it’s the therapist in me, but I was entirely on Kaia’s side in that scene, not Dean’s. And I don’t like that feeling! Sam echoes my discomfort, asking Dean “What are we going to do, force her to dreamwalk at gunpoint?” Me: Exactly!! Dean: We get Mom back no matter what, remember? Pretty sure neither Sam nor I defined it in quite this way, Dean.  That scene still doesn’t sit right with me. I just don’t see Dean going that far, even if I understand his motivation. Jack takes over as the voice of reason (which is really saying something, Dean!), apologizing to Kaia and reassuring her that not everything she sees in dreamwalking has to be the bad place. Jack: Our powers can be good. We can do good in the world. That seems to persuade Kaia more than Dean waving his gun at her (go figure…) but at that moment the angel dicks cut them off and they take refuge in a boat yard. In a big giant abandoned boat. Like, a real boat. Not a VFX boat or a set, but a real boat. Whoa. That scene was amazing, with all the kudos once again to the crew who makes this show look like a motion picture day in and day out. Here's where the suspense ramps up to off the charts, with an incredible musical score by Christopher Lennertz that has my heart pounding right out of my chest. Sam paints sigils throughout the boat as they race higher and higher, a whole gang of angels now after them. Luckily the angels sort of take their time, so Sam gets to paint LOTS of sigils. (I bet Jared had a great time with that, we all know how much he loves painting sigils…NOT) Dean seems to come back to his senses, apologizing to Kaia for dragging (literally) her into this Dean: Sorry to drag you into this, it’s not your fight. But Jack has gotten through to Kaia and she’s on board – and also her survival instincts have kicked in. Kaia: Let’s do it. Sam: What if something goes wrong? Dean: (stating the very obvious) Something already is going wrong! Kaia agrees to dreamwalk and take Jack along, trying to get them all to Mary. Meanwhile, the angels are performing a synchronized sigil-busting ritual we’ve never seen before (canon problem perhaps, or maybe new canon?)  The suspense keeps building as they take down one sigil after another, until only one is keeping them out – and it’s slowly melting. By this time, I was about to have a heart attack. Just in the nick of time, Kaia gets to where Mary is and then screams. Her scream, surprisingly, destroys the angels, and blasts Jack and the Winchesters to different places. Kaia wakes up still in our world, Jack at Mary Winchester’s feet. Sam and Dean wake up in the Vancouver woods, except it’s clearly not. Everything is in desaturated shades of blue, so we know we’re not in Kansas anymore. The portal stays open, which can’t be a good thing. In another part of the country, Patience arrives at Jody’s house. Patience: Something bad is coming…. Meanwhile, Dean comes to and immediately pats Sam on the back. Dean: Sam? Sam: (knowing what Dean needs to hear)  I’m okay, I’m okay. Dean has come through with an angel blade, so that’s good. But that’s clearly the only thing that’s good. Dean: Where the hell are we? The camera pulls up for a wide perspective and we see that where the Winchesters are is.. [caption id="attachment_51848" align="aligncenter" width="696"] Caps by @kayb625[/caption] Standing inside a giant three-toed footprint. I admit I laughed for a second, because for once I was NOT spoiled. Me: DINOSAURS??? But it was a really cool shot and I mean, why the hell not? Supernatural has done just about everything else, and it’s Season 13, and we have Alternate Universes to play in – and besides, it’s Sam and Dean against the world and that is never not going to make me happy.  My timeline lit up with Jurassic Park gifs – timed just as the trailer for the new Jurassic Park movie hit, believe it or not – and lots of bad jokes about Winchesters and dinosaurs. In fact, it was hilariously split between OMG AWESOME and OHNOYOUDIDN’T! But I think ultimately I’m sorta okay with it. Supernatural has jumped the dinosaur? We’ll see. For now, I just want it to be January 18. And not just because that’s my birthday. It’s also the night that the actual Wayward Sisters episode premieres, which I’m taking as some kind of meant to be thing. Kismet!

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[tearsofgrace]

long past dawn

word count: 1.3k, tags: angst, sonny (bad boys), bi!dean, idk sam calls sonny i guess, and that’s it, oh also destiel, also it’s kinda trash but i am too tired to fix it

also on archive

Sam knew Dean would hate him for it. Would snatch the phone from his hands and glare at him and probably avoid him for the rest of the day. Looking through his stuff was right up there with talking about his feelings in terms of unpardonable offenses.

But Dean was gone. Forever this time.

And Sam wasn’t having the wake alone. He couldn’t do it alone or he would throw himself right into that goddamn fire and burn right next to his brother.

He didn’t know what he’d expected to find on Dean’s phone. He was- had been so guarded all the time. Kept everything close to his chest until it exploded and took his heart out with it. And he’d never been able to stop it. Sometimes he could pry some of it away and help Dean through it, but not really. Not enough.

It hadn’t been enough. To save him. Dean’s death was on him. Because it had been Dean’s choice… he wasn’t stupid enough to miss that. Dean had wanted to die right then. And Sam hadn’t been able to change his mind. It wasn’t a fucking rusty nail that killed his brother. Dean killed himself.

Sam clenched his teeth and forced back the tears gathering in his eyes, leaning back against Dean’s dresser and opening the messaging app.

He scrolled past the texts between him and Dean and hovered over Cas’ name. It didn’t seem right, somehow. Hell, most of the time just being in the same room as them didn’t seem right. He always felt- had felt like he was intruding. Like he was interrupting something personal and private and beautiful that wasn’t meant for his eyes.

He scrolled past it, not even reading the last sent message, and landed on Jody. The messages were several weeks old--the only people Dean had actually talked to recently were him and Cas. Another sharp pain went through his body and he slammed his hand on the ground, trying to control himself.

He could get a handle on his grief for five fucking minutes. Dean deserved that much. Dean deserved a hell of a lot more than that much.

He didn’t really understand the messages with Jody. They were out of context. They must have called first. She encouraged him to just talk about it, to be open about it, but he had no clue what “it” was so he clicked away.

There was a thread with Claire. He opened it and nearly lost himself, the tears hot and heavy behind his eyes, ready to escape. But he didn’t let them. Dean offered Claire advice, if he had to guess it was about Kaia. Told her just to talk to her about it. Told her that it didn’t have to be awkward now that she was back from the dead. Told her to grab onto any happiness she could find and never let go.

“Shoulda taken your own fucking advice,” Sam muttered before clicking away.

When he looked at the next name, he frowned thoughtfully. Sonny… that was the name of the man who ran that boy’s home. Dean hadn’t ever told him what really happened there. Sure, he’d given him some story about a girl and a life away from Dad and some semblance of happiness. But there was something else. Something big.

Sam took a deep breath and clicked into the messages, hands shaking slightly. Without reading them, almost on impulse, he hit call.

He held the phone to his ear and waited on baited breath as it rang. Once. Twice. Then a soft click.

“D-dawg?” The voice sounded tired, as if he’d just got up. Sam glanced down at his own phone as saw the time. One in the morning. Shit. “Something wrong?”

“Uh, this is Sam, Sonny.”

“Sam,” Sonny repeated. He was awake now, but now worry was laced into his voice.

“Dean’s-” he started. But he couldn’t get the words out. He hadn’t said them to anyone yet. He would call Jody, Donna, Claire, Bobby, everyone who cared about Dean which wasn’t even a list; it was a goddamn novel- he would call them tomorrow. So he still hadn’t spoken the words. Hadn’t made it real.

“Is he okay?”

“No,” Sam said fiercely. “No.”

“What happened?” Sonny’s voice was steady but it had already dropped a little, something thick and broken behind it.

When Sam didn’t answer, Sonny asked again, this time commanding, sure. So Sam told him. He told him about Jack. Told him about Chuck. Told him about Cas, or what little he knew. Then he told him about that day. About the vamp hunt. About Dean’s choice. The choice that ended it all.

When he stopped talking, when it was all out in the open, Sonny was quiet. For a long time. The sound of his breathing barely audible through the phone.

“Well, shit, kid,” he said finally. “I’m sorry,” he stopped for a minute, as if holding back tears. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Me too.”

“He was a good man. The world was better with him in it.”

Sam smiled in spite of himself, smiled through the tears he hadn’t realized were streaking down his cheeks. “That would mean a lot to him.” After a brief pause, he kept talking. He didn’t know why this man made it so easy, why he felt so safe with someone he’d never even known. “He was applying for a job. Did he tell you? Is that what he called about? He was gonna be a mechanic.” He laughed bitterly. “A normal life.”

Sonny breathed in sharply and Sam could almost see him nod. “Yeah, he told me. Wasn’t gonna do that ‘til he rescued the angel, though.”

“Cas?”

“Did he ever tell you?”

He didn’t have to say it. What he really meant. “No. No, he never said. But I knew. The way he looked at him…” he trailed off, fondness and despair twisting together in his heart.

“You know,” Sonny said, his voice for the first time was shaking slightly, “There was a boy. Here. At the home. That’s why he didn’t want to leave. That’s why he had to stay. But he chose you.”

Sam nodded, not really surprised, but not really sure what he was meant to do with that either. “He was a good brother. Father, mother, too. He raised me.”

“He did a damn good job.”

Sam ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward. “We’re having a- I don’t know how much you know about hunters. But we’re giving him a hunter’s funeral. In a few days. I know he would have wanted you there.”

“Of course.” Another pause. Another well of unspoken questions. Then the one Sam knew would be coming. From each and every person he called. “Can you bring him back?”

He sighed heavily and let himself slump back against the bunker. “Not this time.” Then softer, to make himself believe it, “Not this time.”

Sam fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. He didn’t want to get off the phone. Didn’t want to confront the empty bunker and Miracle’s whines and the bottle of whiskey in the kitchen. But he had to. “Thanks for what you did for him. You gave him a place to be himself. I don’t think he ever really found that again. Not with Dad,” he snorted, “But not even with me. Not completely, anyway.”

“We all do the best we can,” Sonny said, his voice empty.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “I should have stopped him, though. Saved him.”

“This isn’t on you, kid. Don’t think for one second this is on you.”

Sam laughed bitterly again and shrugged to the empty room.

“I’ll see you in a few days.”

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[mittensmorgul]

Below a cut, my flaily-notes about 8.14, 8.15, 8.16, and 8.17 from this morning... posted entirely to get them out of my drafts folder, but I don’t expect (or encourage) anyone to actually, you know... read them... it’s just notes for future meta reference during s13. basically it’s cut and paste of my chat with lizbob. nothing to see here folks, really. It basically reads like all the meta I wrote last time through the loop, but pulling out key points I want to remember going forward.

You’re really better off going and reading my posts about these episodes from the hellatus rewatch...

The morning tnt loop trip is wild... 8.14... what a shift from "it's what I do" and Dean's determination to take on the Hell Trials, because he needs Sam to be safe. Sam just... takes Dean's reasoning wrong. This is like Codependency 101. And now after 13.01, it's just his job... D:

elizabethrobertajones D: So how much is Dabb murdering you right now?

mittensmorgul almost all the way! *twitches*

elizabethrobertajones He really hates the codependency :P But it's good because it sets up the whole trials arc to be about it

mittensmorgul yeah, and he made it look real ugly here.

elizabethrobertajones so it all grows from there! mmmm

mittensmorgul I mean, even the nerdy little sister who thought her whole family could be happy if they just had money... who sold her soul pointlessly because they were ALL still miserable afterward (except the one nerdy dude who asked for love and didn't give a crap about the money), and the girl who sold her soul to heal her mother of Parkinson's... she at least was content with her decision

elizabethrobertajones yeah she got her mom "back" oh my god I hate this show :P how long were they planning to do this?

mittensmorgul I think Dabb was keeping a file in case he ever got the showrunner gig

elizabethrobertajones probably :D Or he knows the show's themes inside out and exactly what to do with them to move the story along

mittensmorgul I still hate the fact Sam and Dean had just got to this point where all the big bads were essentially out of their lives and then they find the bunker and all that... they could've retired at that point but noooOOOooOOo They could've taken Kevin in, protected him, etc. I always thought that was why he transcribed the entire Leviathan tablet in a matter of hours, but it took him agonizing (i think I had a small stroke) months of suffering to translate the demon tablet.. He was MEANT to translate the leviathan tablet (it's the one that woke him as a prophet)

elizabethrobertajones yeah

mittensmorgul He wasn't meant to translate the Demon tablet

elizabethrobertajones it was what he was called to work for All the tablets were left for us but I think as in case of emergency things

mittensmorgul just one more sign that boarding up hell wasn't their decision to make

elizabethrobertajones Maybe the Angel tablet would have been an easy read during season 5 if anyone had found it and 12 year old Kevin had had to read it for them :P

mittensmorgul or the current "prophet Chuck" but slamming Heaven shut wasn't the goal of s5

elizabethrobertajones no, but angels were causing all the problems :P it's not how the story was SUPPOSED to go but say if Sam n Dean died or said yes or something the tablet as a back up emergency switch for humanity :P

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones but the story was all around Sam and Dean and they did what they had to to resolve it]

mittensmorgul yep siblings

elizabethrobertajones and only hit a "pull lever in case of emergency" moment in season 7

mittensmorgul yeah. I want to write about this all but... I feel we already have... :P I wrote about the hubris of s8, thinking they could just alter the structure of the universe that way... the codependency of it all, Sam's choice to take on the trials because he felt inferior...

[...] (insert THREE HOURS LATER dot gif)

Meanwhile I haven't done anything and I've STILL got the 8.14 chat notes sitting  in another tab and I'm already up to 8.16 and have no idea how to turn that into a useful post :P

And it's terrible because of Prometheus wanting to run away from his son because he's a god and wants to keep his son safe, but it's too late because his son's already inherited his curse...

elizabethrobertajones Oh my god is the prometheus episode going to be relevant AGAIN

mittensmorgul yeah. I hate all of this

elizabethrobertajones it gets a YEARLY turn around :P mittensmorgul Plus, Dean's all proud of being a Legacy of the MoL...

[... long enough to get to the beginning of 8.17 which is just as awful as ever :P]

OH NO CAS IS KILLING ALL THE DEANS SEND HELP

elizabethrobertajones I always forget about that scene MISTAKE mittensmorgul and how have we never seen the Spear of Destiny again?

elizabethrobertajones It says a LOT about the current landscape of Destiel that this is a severely under-mentioned scene and we rarely bring it up as an example any more about how much Cas cares, compared to how I used to see it used when I joined fandom :P I think it's not really forgetting so much as it's just not as impressive any more... mittensmorgul But it's so painfully important about Cas's complete loss of agency there

elizabethrobertajones :< mittensmorgul everyone still talks about the crypt scene and cas breaking free of that control, but somehow the exposition of just how powerful that control was, and how horrifying the scenario of Naomi's "fixing him" really was seems to have been pushed aside

elizabethrobertajones yeah

[...]

gah, just like in s6 cas isn't answering their prayers, but this time it's due to naomi forcing him not to... he must've been torn to pieces with all the lies she forced him to tell, and all the horror she forced him to enact... but then all of Cas’s lies start to unravel, and Dean’s suspicion of Cas just shoots through the roof...

[...]

Sam: So... what happened? I mean, Cas touched the tablet, and it reset him to his factory settings or something? Dean: I don't know. And I don't care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a-a heavenly WMD. Listen, man, I can't take any more lies -- from anyone. Sam: Yeah. Um... I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I-I... just wanted to believe I was okay. I don't know. Dean: Well, you heard what Cas said -- that that first trial hurt you in ways that even he can't heal. Sammy, I need you to be honest with me from here on out, man.