#almost subtitled this one 'when the shit hits the fan'

[zylphiacrowley]

Adventures in the Northern Wilds pt. 3

<previous - next>

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Bathing Boy Beauties

So, now we and Wei Wuxian get to see Lan Wangji with his shirt off. Eventually Lan Wangji will realize that his brother set this up, and will think of some way to get back at him, possibly by spending three years being stubborn in a cave or maybe by chopping an arm off of someone his brother cares about. 

This is A+ Yibo fanservice but it's also a male-male version of a trope that's ubiquitous in c-drama, in which the male lead takes a bath and the female lead sees him. The purpose of the scene is almost always so a woman can look a man’s body over and decide, not to put too fine a point on it, whether she wants to fuck him. 

Examples:

The Pillow Book - “Which part of Shen Ye is better than me?”

Women’s sexual agency is not often at the forefront in c-dramas, but the bathtub scenes are an acknowledgement of the female gaze, and of male objects of desire being subject to evaluation & approval.

Tientsin Mystic is a show with a lot of muscley swimming in it, In case you’re looking for your next Netflix show. 

As a CGI artist I have to mention that water does not reflect or refract 100% of light. If you look at a naked dingle-having person in a bathtub full of clear water you will definitely be able to see their dingle. But C-drama water is magic and nothing is visible below the waterline, to the point that Bai Yu is modestly covering his thoracic surgery scar chest in Detective L while leaving his lower half uncovered.

Note: that caption isn’t fake; she is really saying this on her way out the door, after having a long chat with him in the bathroom. You can find the whole series on YouTube.

Seen in this context, The Untamed’s two bathing scenes are saying quite a lot. Wei Wuxian, being a boy, doesn’t display any female-encoded shyness or modesty, but he and his sword pause for a moment of admiration.

(more after the cut!)

16 years later, Lan Wangji will sit quietly in this pool and let Wei Wuxian examine his wet body thoroughly from multiple angles, in a more prolonged invocation of this C-drama mating ritual.

Carrying on - was Xiao Zhan supposed to kick his boot in the water like that? Because if not, he rolls with it like a champ.

Wei Wuxian starts trying to be direct with Lan Wangji, giving him the worst, most neg-filled compliment ever, bless his heart.  

Then he says that there are benefits to being his friend, and starts taking off his clothes.

Wei Wuxian here takes his first step into the bold new world of respecting Lan Wangji’s boundaries, asking Lan Wangji to stay and saying he will keep his clothes on. 

Lan Wangji actually does stay, so he's apparently not too angry with Wei Wuxian about the drinking. Wei Wuxian invites him to visit Lotus Pier sometime (see my gifset here), but the promise of lotus pods doesn’t impress him. Then Wei Wuxian tries to tell him that the Yunmeng chicks really knock me out, they leave the rest behind. This also doesn’t impress him. 

You could read this macking-on-ladies talk as a sign that Wei Wuxian is oblivious to LWJ's feelings for him. But I read it as a bisexual boy being horny on main with a boy he likes, not  understanding yet that some boys don’t share all of his turn-ons.

Lan Wangji is sort of mildly startled when Wei Wuxian disappears under the water. His eye makeup is good here, isn’t it?.

Ice Cave

They end up in an ice cave and both spend the rest of the episode showing how good they look with wet hair. 

When the guqin starts attacking, Lan Wangji is only mildly perturbed about Wei Wuxian getting his shit rocked over and over.

Eventually he sends Bichen to protect his very bedraggled date. Lan Wangji’s sword is faster than the speed of a very slow sound wave.

Beauty's where you find it not just where you bump and grind it 

Gusuship Down

I feel like there are a couple of things in this show that are so problematic the fandom has silently agreed to never discuss them. Well, I’m here to talk about this one:

There are rabbits in this ice cave and they are wearing headbands. HEADbands. On RABBits.  

EXCELLENT FUCKING QUESTION, LAN WANGJI

*deep breath*

Are these rabbits lineal Lan descendants? Who makes the headbands? How do they stay on because “headband” here means “glowing cloud on forehead” without any actual band.  When rabbit babies are born, how do they stay safe while they’re waiting for someone to make them baby-sized headbands? Do these rabbits adhere to the other 3499 Lan Clan principles or just the headband one? Is any ol' rabbit allowed to touch a rabbit’s headband or is it limited to parents and significant others and is that even relevant when presumably these bunnies are all fucking each other like...bunnies?

The characters are like “oh, the rabbits are wearing headbands; killer guqin problem solved.” And then they move right the fuck along with their lives and the rabbit headbands are never seen or discussed again and I just want a hit of whatever the author or creative team was smoking when they came up with this whole idea.

Headband Sharing

When Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji to hand over his headband, Lan Wangji understands his entire rabbit-based thought process without asking

Gen-X Joke Alert

Wei Wuxian is awfully impressed by this sword-recall trick, considering that he did it himself when they went to the lake.

I see you know your way around a sheath

Killer Guqin

When they approach the guqin I hope that the subtitles are mistranslated, because Wei Wuxian keeps promising not to touch it and then says he can't look at it without touching it. I'm not going to touch it, I just need to touch it. 

Lan Wangji is going to teach Wei Wuxian some goddamn boundaries no matter how many times he has to make him fondle his sword.

Nothing suggestive here

Lan Wangji sits down to play the guqin and immediately goes off into the ether where there are seagull noises and plenty of fans. This is either a state of pure bliss, or he just really likes seagulls.

Did Lan Wangji just have a stealth orgasm?

Speaking of getting off, get your ass off of my desk

The Yin Iron

Lan Wangji does some spirit whispering, and suddenly the cave starts yelling at them. A bunch of clans are chanting in unison about a plan, which is the cultivator version of a battle cry.

Lancestor Lan Yi shows up. She is elegant and has a combination of sweetness and gravity that is similar to Lan Xichen’s. And none of Lan Qiren’s douchiness.

Search Party

Lan Qiren is worried and Lan Xichen is worried and they have sent people to look for the boys. It's really too bad nobody around here knows magic.

All these powerful cultivators search for missing people by running around outdoors yelling for them. 

Yanli is excused from PE class because she’s not feeling well, so she sits on a rock in the woods instead of, you know, staying home in the first place. She gets bored sitting down and unwisely decides to walk two or three steps. Xuan Lu, seen here competing in a gymnastics event, gamely pretends she can’t climb a small rock. 

Yanli falls into Jin Zixuan's arms and they gaze at each other for a long heterosexual moment. 

No homosexual explanation possible

This means two things: 1. he isn't looking very hard for her brother if he's hanging out here catching wobbly girls 2. soulful longing looks from him ain't shit, because he's going to dump her in the next episode.

Lanny Granny

Lan Wangji intros himself to Lan Yi and does a full prostrate bow. Wei Wuxian does a standing bow since he's not a descendant, just a future in-law.

No I mean come on, HEADBANDS

Lan Gran explains the entire history of the yin iron. It's bad, it's full of resentful energy, no-one should use it. She’s going to dump it on a couple of 16 year old boys, one of whom has a woody for using resentful energy, because it’s destiny and her battery is about to run out. 

Props to the Prop Department; this thing does look pretty cool

Xue Chonghai was the most problematic cultivator back in the old days. He killed a lot of dudes and fed their resentment to...a turtle? To the disk? I don’t know; I literally am unable to pay attention when anyone is explaining the intricacies of the unobtanium Yin Iron. 

Anyway there’s a disk and it’s soaked up a lot of resentment.  

Using it makes people evil. Well except..clearly this dude started off evil, yeah? If he was feeding people to his turtle.

Side effects may include: being fucking crazy

Here Wei Wuxian brings out his "resentful energy is awesome" theory and has an experienced grown-up grand master tell him that she also thought this, and has spent 100 years locked in a cave with headband-wearing rabbits because she was super fucking wrong. Does this deter him? ...nope

Baoshan Sanren

Now she name checks Baoshan Sanren, and Wei Wuxian has a big reaction and Lan Wangji has a big noticing of Wei Wuxian’s reaction. He’s very attuned to Wei Wuxian’s emotional state, in the moments where WWX lets his actual feelings show through the sass and swagger.  

Lan Gran talks about her search for the Yin iron, and Lan Wangji wisely says, if you can't neutralize it, why look for it? And she says, I was filled with hubris just like ya boi Wei Wuxian.  Lan Wangji points out the exact same shit he will later point out to Wei Wuxian.

So now we have a parallel in which Lan Yi is just like Wei Wuxian and Baoshan Sanren is just like Lan Wangji, yeah? Which is kind of sweet; it shows how these types are drawn together and how your clan doesn't determine your personality. Also it shows how the Lan clan has room for an unorthodox clan leader. Also it shows how the Yin Iron causes some really bad breakups. 

These boys are standing on snow barefoot which has got to take a pretty high cultivation level. Look how short Lan Wangji is without his stilettos, aww.

Flashback to Baoshan Sanren, just long enough to appreciate how beautiful she is.

Did OP give up on recoloring that flashback-blue-hazed image and just start fucking around with random filters? Yes she did. 

We also get to see that Lan Yi and Lan Wangji have more common than just guqin, because they both like to solve problems by kicking them.  

So after breaking up with her girlfriend, Lan Gran became invisible in this cave for 100 years while trying to contain the Yin iron and put headbands on rabbits. 

Soundtrack: Vogue by Madonna Writing prompt: Watership Down rabbits meet Lan rabbits

Bonus extended bath clip:

Bai Yu, Detective L

[adoresobs]

- the other pov! ( 𝐓.𝐂 )

the reader’s a singer and after listening to her good friend, harry’s song ‘falling’, she decides to make the other person’s pov which she relates to because of her recent breakup with timmy.

THIS FIC CONTAINS just angst mostly

can’t tell if i love or hate this but i decided to give something new a try and this is how it turned out-

part one | part two | part three 

𝐌 𝐀 𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑 𝐋 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓

THE SONG

you set up your phone, pressing the ‘go live’ button, watching as the comments began to fill up with countless compliments already.

“hey guys!” you tried your best to be the usual bubbly person your fans saw even with the breakup still being fresh in your mind. you grew closer to the phone to read the comments.

userone quarantine got everyone looking rough

“damn, do i look that bad?” you laughed, pushing some of your hair behind your ear. you could what they meant, your hair was tied in a ‘ponytail’ or just a mop on top of your head, no makeup was on your face, and you had on sweats. you could say you didn’t dress up at all.

usertwo u still look gorgeous queen it’s fiNe

userthree did u and timmy actually break up or is teen vogue playing with my feelings

userfour k but what’s with these articles ‘y/n l/n and timothée chalamet call it quits?!’

that was only a fraction of the comments you were receiving about him. you let out a nervous laugh, biting down on your lip. “okay, so, the reason i started this up was to show you all something i’ve been working on. if you know harry’s beyond amazing self and you listen to his music then you know falling which is also amazing. wellll, i made a slight remake of it? but it’s like from the other person’s point of view.” you explained.

userfive did u and timmy actually break up ):

usersix we writing sad songs now-

“yes, we are writing sad songs now,” you said with a small laugh. “no but all credits and shit go to harry and if you don’t listen to him, you should. he’s a really good friend of mine and you’re missing out if you don’t.”

userseven baby ur such a good person

usereight i want a y/n, she’s so supportive

usernine still dodging questions about timothée huh

“thank you for wanting a..me?” you giggled before turning to your piano. “okay, so i can play it but i’m not the best at piano so spare me, please.”

userten shes so precious

usereleven timothée lost all this

usertwelve how does she still look gorgeous without trying

your smile faltered at the comment about your ex. “alright, i’m gonna start.” you told the thousands of people watching, looking down at the keys and beginning to play.

“i’m in my bed, instead of yours, cried to sleep, turned off all of the lights and locked all of the doors.”

you remembered the day after everything went down. you barely got out of bed unless it was to use the bathroom. the most you did was cry and sleep when you couldn’t cry anymore.

“i replay what you said, don’t know if it’s true, left with two broken hearts and there’s nothing that we can undo.”

“i don’t want to be with you another.” timothée said, breaking the silence. you’d spent hours arguing about pointless things, it escalated the longer the fight went on. you just looked up at him, trying to scan his face, see if he truly wanted this. his head was facing the ground so you couldn’t read his expression. “this isn’t gonna work out for much longer and we both know that so i’ll just save us the trouble of going through this later on.”

“what am i now? what am i now? don’t wanna cry ‘cause i can’t stand the sound,”

you cringed at the screaming baby in the supermarket, catching timothée’s eye quickly. “little loud for you?” he asked, a smile on his face.

“i can’t stand the sound of crying so yes, it is.” you shot back, reaching over to hit his arm. timothée rubbed his arm, flipping you off.

“wouldn’t have guessed since you cry almost everyday.” he joked which made you gasp.

“i would appreciate it if i wasn’t being attacked by my boyfriend right now.”

“i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

userthirteen she’s really making me cry like this

userfourteen truly think she did this because of the breakup with timmy ):

userfifteen about to go fuck up his perfect face if he hurt my baby

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if you’re someone i can’t live without?”

“are you gonna admit that you love me or are we gonna have to keep doing this hate thing?” timothée asked after you’d stated you hated him for the third time that day. “mm, i think i’m gonna stick with the hate thing.” you answered, letting out a laugh.

“okay, y/n, i’m gonna need you to repeat after me.”

“mhm.” you decided to play whatever game he was playing.

“i, y/n l/n”

“i, y/n l/n,” you repeated.

“love mr. timothée chalamet and cannot live without him.”

“hate mr. timothée chalamet and definitely can live without him because he sucks.”

“i don’t recall that being what i said?”

“oh, really? tough luck.” you teased.

“i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

usersixteen u sound so gOOD BABY

userseventeen i wasn’t even in the relationship and i’m about to cry

usereighteen can u- make a song with harry though-

“you said you cared, but i never knew, before i heard your lyrics, i didn’t even have a clue.”

“hey, y/n?” timothée muttered. he wasn’t sure if you were alseep or not since you were sprawled out on his chest and clinging to him. he couldn’t see if your eyes were open until you lifted you head up so it was face to face with his. “hm?” you asked.

“you know i care about you, right?”

“pfft, of course not.” even in your sleepy state, you still made jokes with him.

timothée almost groaned at your words, “i’m serious, okay?”

“i know, i know. i care about you too.” you laid your head back on chest and fell asleep comfortably in his arms. you slept great especially knowing that you were cared for.

“now everytime somebody says your name, i remember the day where i ran out of reasons to stay.”

“you don’t think this is working out?” you asked, your voice was low. you didn’t want this conversation to be happening. why couldn’t you just go back to before? where everything was good. you were happy.

timothée shook his head, not even bothering to look you in the eyes.

“so, that’s it?” you asked with a bitter laugh. “it’s over that quick. you’re not even fighting for us! shows how much this really meant to you.”

“oh, cmon on, y/n. we both knew that this was gonna fall apart when it started. we don’t work and that’s all.”

“we both knew? or just you?”

“what am i now? what am i now? don’t wanna cry ‘cause i can’t stand the sound, i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

zendaya shut up you sound SO GOOD

arianagrande so proud of u xx

usernineteen completely forgot she was friends with them-

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? what if you’re someone i can’t live without? i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

usertwenty everyone appreciate this talented queen

usertwentyone this is where my favorite part comes up, everyone shut uP

usertwentytwo can i be u pls

“can i do this alone without ever needing you again?”

“admit you need me and i’ll help you.” timothée said, teasing you which he had been doing for the last ten minutes.

“this would be fine if i had subtitles but you won’t give me the damn remote.” you huffed. the movie was fully in french which you couldn’t understand. timothée didn’t want to turn on the subtitles since you refused to let him teach you french.

“admit it and the remote is all yours.”

“i need you because without you, i would have a very fun life without having to worry about knowing french.” you fired which only made timothée roll his eyes.

“no remote for y/n.” he said, turning back to the movie leaving you to whine about it.

“what am i now? what am i now? what will i do now that you’re not around? i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling”

you had never been so unproductive and bored in your life. that was something he was amazing at - encouraging and motivating you to do your best and take on the day no matter how juch you didn’t want to. now that he wasn’t here, there hardly felt like you had anohter reason to do said things. you were alone twenty four seven.

“what if i’m down? what if i’m out? maybe you’re someone i won’t talk about, i’m falling again, i’m falling again, i’m falling.”

your thoughts wandered back to all of the comments you neglected to answer. you didn’t want to talk about him and you were he didn’t want to talk about you. you finished, ending the song before turning back to your phone. you scrolled through the comments, seeing all the ones you missed while playing. “thank you z! and i love you, ari.” you said with a laugh.

usertwentythree when i see him, it’s on sight

usertwentyfour anyways u sounded so gOOD AND IM SO PROUD OF U!!

your heart warmed at the sweet comment, your face immediately heating up. “look, now i’m blushing. thank you lovely!”

harrystyles you sounded better than me

harrystyles think it’s your song now

usertwentyfive her and harry’s friendship >>

“miss you, harold!” you exclaimed. “but, i think i’m gonna end this. thank you all for liking it.” you said and ended the live.

the next morning your phone was blowing up. screenrecordings and videos of you singing were everywhere. there were even articles considering it your way of saying that you and timothée broke up. people on twitter were tweeting at you, mainly nice things which is what you only cared about.

your friends were blowing up your texts messages, screaming how proud they were of you. you were almost to the point of tears until you saw one message in particular.

my angel boy: hey

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

RWBY V08E05 - Amity

Amity! A return to the adventures of RWB? With no Penny sadly. I doubt we'll get so many visual puns again but who knows, maybe they'll make friends with Whitley or at least have a cordial chat with him without killing each other. I have no idea, so let's do this!

Wow, great start. Poor Pietro, got copypasted there with no regard for his feelings.

I'm very glad I was wrong about no Penny.. Even if every second she's on screen increases the chances of something bad happening to her.

Why does the HUD look like someone used the wand from photoshop to extract it from a white background?

Wait, are they going to blow up the Dust to launch amity into space?

Penny is right, that doesn't seem like a good idea but it's also incredibly in-character for the show. Now even caves are a gun.

Someone at Rooster Teeth really likes the idea of little old ladies riding huge robots, and honestly? Can't disagree.

hmmmmmmmm not a big fan of pietro at the moment

oof, my heart

Maria continues to be the voice of wisdom. Sadly, I doubt Pietro is going to listen to her.

In the original tale Pinocchio ends up learning by making bad choice after bad choice. Penny doesn't seem to have that much in common with her inspiration but if she hasn't ever been able to make a choice at all, would it be surprising if the first time she makes a choice it ends up being a bad one? It wouldn't surprise me if this is setting her up to fly away from Amity (against Pietro's wishes) once she notices something went wrong with everyone else (making her vulnerable)

Welp.

look at that poor girl

Aaaa, that's the same expression she used when Ruby said Penny was still the Protector of Mantle. "my feelings don't matter, conceal, don't feel, don't let them kn— wait, never mind

but yeah, she's used to putting everyone ahead of her (because as a robot she supposedly doesn't know better, there's a reason that was her first thought when she was talking with Winter in last season)

aw poop

Cinder was moving so fast she left her shadow behind.

Great deranged expression and voice though. Did she bring both Neo and Emerald or just the latter?

Penny yes

Hey, 9 blades! For a second I thought they wouldn't remember that she lost one.

no, no, no, time for what? aaaaa

Now that we have more context, Cinder using her own experiences to know where to hurt people is * chef kiss *

Intentional reference to the PvP fight?

okay, I didn't expect badass Maria to actually fight using her robot but I blame my own lack of imagination

now I'm hyped, it also gives something the other two something to do.

I think the main problem here for the good guys is that if Pietro gets threatened there's no way Penny is not going to surrender. Although, maybe he gets kidnapped? That'd make him get "swallowed" by a whale... hm. Another possibility is that they threaten Pietro and Penny gets hacked "just in time"

you can't lie to me, subtitles, I know she was going to say bitch

lol at crashing the entire ship into maria to get her out of the way

bad mistake to hurt one of Penny's friends in front of her

Did anyone give a job to poor Emerald? I can almost see Cinder telling Neo to distract people while in the ship with Emerald sitting in the back seat trying to get noticed.

C'mon Neo, leave the old lady alone

…of course she wouldn't leave her alone, she's Neo, she likes playing with her victims

I wonder if Neo has a deeper plan than "killing this old lady while looking like her protege would be incredibly cruel and extra and therefore worth doing"

If the drifting was an accident, where did Emerald go?

waiting for the RWBY shmup

I understand why she's leaving Amity (to prevent their fight from destroying it by accident) but leaving Pietro alone feels like a bad idea.

…this HUD is a lot cleaner, I don't get it, it should be the same png overlay

anyway, took the screenshot to write "wow, Cinder is actually capable of thinking through her rage these days, good for her" but now that I think about it, I'm not sure if she's ever been fooled.

booo

I wanted more evil Ruby

Also, I'm literally loling at Maria yoda-ing Neo.

ah yes, neo, so graceful

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

mmmmmmm

mmm

oof, looks like that was a direct hit. And the worst part is that the second James hacks into Penny, I assume it'll will work that way. Probably her worst nightmare.

Yeah, no, this worked for spiderman because his nemesis wasn't right in front of him.

I like the idea of this shot but for some reason the execution looks weird. Maybe it's just awkward positioning, it's hard to tell the angles.

lmao

* cough *

I mean, yeah, saw that coming.

For a second I thought she was melting her face but then I remembered the one reason Cinder has that arm.

I'm going to need a diagram to know what Emerald was doing.

Yessss, no need for swords if you can make your own

I really need to know what she was doing inside because right now it feels like that was the worst excuse ever to get her out of the fight until the last possible second (and maybe make it another reference to PvP when Ruby exits the corridor?)

Did she finally see Pietro?

Emerald has so much faith in Cinder, sigh

I wonder if before the end of the show Neo will get to stab someone with her umbrella. Maybe it could even be Cinder

First time she gets knocked out?

Cinder with a long spear only means one thing. Someone is getting stabbed

Huh.

I hadn't thought about this until now but before this second I'd have said Emerald's semblance shouldn't work on Penny. Like, what part is she affecting to make Penny see the duplicates? But I guess it does work, somehow. Maybe reality gets processed through Aura.

Fire spear vs laser, who wins?

Giant laser wins

Glad that Penny is confirmed as the most powerful character in the show.

Poor Emerald, two lines this episode and they are both "CINDER"

Damn, she looks done with their crap.

And now she looks absolutely feral. Loving this.

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. If she gets hacked now, Cinder still wins. She wouldn't get the maiden powers but at least she'd stop the transmission.

aaaaa

Emerald breaks my heart. So much love for someone who couldn't give a hoot about her.

At least Cinder seems to know her place with Salem, but I can't tell if she started like Emerald and got her love beaten down or if she just had different priorities after getting saved from what seemed similar circumstances.

Ah, Neo. Now to add to her resume that she beat a granny only because she got distracted.

oh, shut up, Pietro

Is this it? Is this where Penny "rebels"?

Even after all that fight, I think this is the best animation of the episode so far. It conveys so much resignation and annoyance.

I think this is the first time this season RWBY makes me teary-eyed. She finally said it!

This is too cute for this world.

Remember when I said that hug with Ruby felt like a goodbye? Well, this is much worse.

Wooo, she succeeded! (I hope, they did mention the message was a couple of minutes long)

But I'm also even more worried now because it feels like the one last thing she had to do.

They are back!

I wonder if the one character I miss the most will also get a shot.

Pensive Whitley? more likely than you think

He has a lot of potential, especially now that Salem -> Cinder -> Emerald are a thing, making cyclical abuse more of an explicit theme. Not sure if there's enough time to do him justice though, considering he's not much of a character.

"we don't want to reveal Vacuo yet, what do we do?" "put them in the desert"

Yessss, Ilia got a cameo!

Are they pulling her back from voiceless purgatory?

Holy shit, wow, really didn't expect to see her.

Literally a pet. I wonder where the hound falls in the hierarchy

...why is she so happy? She's not supposed to be happy!!

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

yeah

was expecting this

Poor guy, I wonder if this is the first news he gets from her daughters.

Taiyang made me realize they didn't show Yang's team. Huh.

Oh, fuck you rooster teeth.

Fuck oofffff (RT, not you, Pietro)

Is Winter end up doing the right thing? She's obviously affected by seeing Penny's sword there.

Also, I wonder if her new armor is just that or if it's a bracing system to help her move so soon after getting beat. But I guess that wouldn't be necessary if her aura helped her heal.

Hopefully, if Watts escapes and tries to get everyone else to help (since I doubt he can beat all the guards on his own), Qrow shows he learned his lesson about trusting the enemy.

ah, there you go

Okay, this is an amazing reveal. Is Salem transforming Mantle into another land of darkness? Because that'd definitely explain why she was so unworried about the broadcast.

What a way to end the episode. A brief moment of hope completely destroyed, twice.

Penny has been raising so many death flags that her inevitable hacking lacked some impact. I'm still sad (and annoyed at RT for poor Penny being a magnet for suffering) but Watts being Watts maybe he did a bad job just to prevent Atlas to escape? And Penny seemed able to resist? aaaah, I don't know. Now that the hacking finally happened all the foreshadowing is over, anything could happen.

The worst part of the hack is that it modified Penny's thoughts. It wasn't a complete takeover, like with Pietro, it was a lot more insidious. Literally making true what Cinder told her. Ugh.

Looking back at the screenshots, wow, a lot of the episode was just them fighting, but there were some fun moments, like Maria kicking Neo's ass.

Very curious about where it's going. Both the Penny plot (there's absolutely no way hacked Penny doesn't fight Ruby, there's probably a rule written in the universe about having mind-controlled people fight their loved ones) and the river of Grimm which was an excellent secondary gut punch. Really, loved that reveal. "You thought things were bad? lol"

I think that's all for now, until next time!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[blookmallow]

and now, the thrilling conclusion, where EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT

never did find all these tapes or understand what they were about, either. gdi 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK NO NO NO!! NO!!!

god this scene was so well done, though. almost too well. something about the old phone and the. “my friend is suddenly Not Okay what the fuck do i do” really, really struck a nerve with some shit i went through in high school 

i dont... understand what happened to his body, though. i think he did this because he knew they needed someone on the Other Side to be able to stop the cult. maybe he also just couldn’t take the pressure anymore as well. i think he realized someone had to and he decided it would be him. maybe he even knew something about what sal was going to have to do and maybe he didn’t want to be there when it happens. maybe he knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive anyway, so he decided he’d rather just do it himself and let his death mean something. i dont know. i dont know. this hit so fucking hard im honestly still a lil shaken up about it 

so i guess... whatever the cult was doing, whatever demonic influence is still ravaging this place, everyone was already doomed from the start. everyone was already infected with the curse or The Dark or whatever it is. everyone who died here couldn’t pass on because something went Wrong and was keeping them there 

and at this point i think everyone was essentially already dead before sal got to them. they would have been consumed either way 

i dont think i like the fact that sara is being taken by the dark, too. i dont know what that means. maybe it just means david believed she was a person enough for the dark to latch onto her and try to take her too. maybe it means something else 

i dont understand what happened to these two, either. they’re the only ones who were faded out like this instead of being consumed by the ooze. it didn’t seem to make any difference, though. i dont know why only maple knew to run or why she didn’t try to take them with her 

GOD FUCK

WAS HE LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME??? GOD 

FEAR 

WHAT??????? NO????? WHAT 

this is so bad this is so bad this is so bad you’re gonna make me do this aren’t you. you’re gonna make me do all of this 

im sorry man you were weird but as far as i can tell you didn’t deserve this

sara isn’t acknowledged. i still want to know why the dark was trying to take her too 

im sorry im sorry im so fucking sorry 

well. i guess that. explains the trial, then. boy this sure is a fucking lot to take in

anyway, im. ashley now and ive found maple. i guess this is how we’re dealing with this. fuck

i dont understand why the. they’re not kids anymore now but you know, the main group, isn’t being taken over, i dont think ash lived at the apartments so she could have escaped it but everyone else grew up there. you can’t say it’s not long enough to get infected because maple didn’t live there initially, she moved in with chug later and it still got her. im not sure that it got chug and his daughter. they weren’t in the shadow ooze. but they were faded out and they. were also. among the body count, so. clearly sal believed they were already too far gone

i think this is the first actually clean and well-kept bathroom we ever see in this game, id be happy for them, but, well. you know 

NEITHER WAS I 

b............beedle juice................

nice

i dont really understand why this style shifting thing is happening, different realities converging or something, i guess, but im into it 

“character shifts into other parallel versions of themselves in different styles/travels across different universes” sequences are always my favorite i dont know what you call that or if it counts as a trope but i love it 

GOD

DAMN IT 

none of us are surviving this, huh. like actually none of us.

I DIDNT KILL HER SHE KILLED HERSELF FOR SOME REASON THAT ONE WASNT MY FAULT 

but then she. wasn’t dead and had a new ghost arm that i think was also me. im her haunted arm now its fine we’re fine everything’s fine 

FUCKING SHIT HELL WHY 

i cant tell if im supposed to know these people or not i think that might be neil though........ probably maple. god. god 

for some reason i keep wanting to call maple “willow” where is that coming from

big fan of being able to just smack cultists into bloody puddles with our new ghost arm though that’s very nice 

YES THANK YOU I AM AWARE i had a bad time with the controls on half these little final boss mini game things fsjdg

anyway, uh. that sure was a lot of things and i still have no idea what happened at all. i am confused and terrified thats all i can say

i mean. like. this is an incredibly good game its very well written the characters are so real and engaging, the story hits you over and over again right in the fuckin guts, the passage of time and gradual development and change through different points of these peoples’ lives is done so well and its so interesting and unique but at the same time i do not understand a goddamn thing that just happened here 

also according to my very depressing episode stats i seem to have missed a shit ton of things, so maybe that’s why. genuinely think im probably just going to immediately start a new game and play it again now that i Know and. well, suffer again, mostly, but also just. try to understand try to figure out what i missed 

i think part of the problem is it took me way too long to realize there were occasionally things i could interact with that didn’t specifically. say i could interact with them, i got used to looking for like. the little marker subtitle things that pop up over important objects/etc like “radio” “sal’s room” but sometimes there’s like. a little thing on the ground you can pick up that doesn’t say anything when you stand over it or something and i guess? i must have? missed a lot of those 

[puppypaw-wc]

okay it’s time for some rhythm ranting (i came up with that and i am so fucking proud of myself for it)-

so rhythm heaven megamix is the fourth rhythm heaven game, preceded by three other games (as you may guess): rhythm tengoku for the gameboy advance, released in 2006 in japan only, rhythm heaven for the ds, released in 2009, and rhythm heaven fever, released for the wii in 2011/2012 and for the wii u in 2016. as megamix’s name implies (esp it’s japanese/korean name, rhythm tengoku (in japan)/rhythm world (in korea) the best+), it’s a mix of lots of rhythm games from past games. not all of them, though, because the developers wanted to spite us by not putting bon odori in. /j oh and like people like dj school and shit and it’s not in it. people modded dj school in though, no i am not kidding, people literally modded in a full game and i don’t know how. i mean donk-donk and tambourine have also been modded in somewhat for remixes but anyways back to my point-

the rest of this’ll be under the cut tho-

so one of my main problems with megamix is some of the game choices. rhythm tengoku only had 25 unique, non-sequel rhythm games. out of those, nine were excluded. that’s almost half. for perspective, though, three of those games are bon odori, rap men, and toss boys, which basically need audio cues to be played. bon odori relies on it’s song, where you clap whenever they say “pan” and clap twice quickly when they say “panpa”, rap men relies on its audio and you do something different depending on three different kinds of cues, and for toss boys you need audio cues to know who it’s being tossed to. and logically, they’d likely want to translate the games, so given that they seemingly didn’t get that big of a budget for dubbing, they weren’t included... but quiz show was. what’s the problem with quiz show, you may ask? well rhythm heaven as a game is a rhythm game. quiz show literally doesn’t require rhythm. basically the host will press the button a certain number of times and in order to pass the game you just need to press it the same amount of times. that’s literally it. in megamix you get the game’s skill star if you press it to the same rhythm, but it’s still not required. it’s also dumb because you literally have to play it perfectly in order to pass it. all you need for a perfect is to press the button(s) the same amount of times. if you press a button the wrong number of times, the game ends once the number you were supposed to hit it is revealed. quiz show is literally pointless. the only times it’s used well are in remixes in tengoku. in remix 6, at least in silver, it uses the previously played game, the clappy trio, as a hint, with the host asking, “how many members are in the clappy trio?”, before hitting the buttons three times. in remix 4, the rhythm for both the quiz segments goes with the music. i mean on the last one he can add an extra press and it’s fucking bullshit but whatever. i’m not mad. but my point is that in megamix, they added a game that doesn’t require rhythm as opposed to a multitude of actually liked games from tengoku. there’s non-included games that don’t require audio cues, i should add. showtime, polyrhythm, tram and pauline, wizard’s waltz, and for fuck’s sake, thinking about it, the games that likely weren’t added because of audio cues wouldn’t HAVE to be dubbed. just do what the tengoku fan translation did and translate the on-screen subtitles but leave the audio in japanese. please just give us bon odori stop holding them hostage-

i talk about tengoku but i’m pretty sure rhds is the game with the most non-included minigames. ds was played sideways, almost purely using the touch screen with the exception of rockers 2 in the last set of games. it had a unique control scheme, with three types of controls: tapping, where you just tap the screen with the stylus or your finger; flicking, where you flick your stylus or finger like you’re making the end of a checkmark, according to “the secret of flicking” reading material thingie you can read when you unlock the cafe; and sliding, where you just. slide your finger. megamix only has tapping, and even then that’s only when you’re using simple tap mode and i don’t want to imagine how that handles games that use the b-button. as i mentioned, tengoku had almost half of its games missing. ds has twenty-five rhythm games if you include the credits game airboarder. ten of those weren’t included. that may not seem like a lot, but ds is most peoples’ favorite rhythm heaven game, and two of the most loved games in the fandom, dj school and love lab, are from rhds, and neither was included in megamix.

fever has the least cut games over all, with only five of its original rhythm games being cut. fever had twenty-nine original rhythm games, with one more (rhythm test) also appearing in its remix 10. the ones that didn’t make it in are tambourine, donk-donk, tap troupe, shrimp shuffle, and night walk. night walk’s exclusion was probably since gba night walk made it in and they didn’t know how to name them differently, bUT YOU DID IT WITH THE KARATE MAN GAMES??? DID WE REALLY NEED ALL OF THE KARATE MAN GAMES, A PREQUEL, AND A NEW GAME? THAT’S FIVE DIFFERENT KARATE MAN GAMES IN MEGAMIX. THAT’S TOO MANY TIMES TO PLAY THE SAME GAME. granted only three of those times are required to beat the game (prequel karate man, gba karate man/karate man returns!, and karate man senior), but my point still stands, they gave us literally every karate man game but not night walk or something. it’s especially dumb to me because they gave figure fighter both a prequel and its sequel because they looove figure fighter... instead of including shrimp shuffle, which really desperately needs to be included, please let me know what a frame-perfect input looks like so i don’t keep getting barelys that look fine because like all my inputs are barelys but they still break the perfect-

,,, onto another thing before i break something or kill someone.

so the dubbing for megamix is a little odd. as i said, the game likely didn’t have that big of a budget for dubbing, especially when compared to other games in the series. the prologues for games use the same three or four generic fonts despite the japanese version using the original fonts, the returning games that have lyrical songs just use the original version of the song with the exception of fan club 2, the two lyrical remixes weren’t dubbed (komeki no story, lush remix’s song, is simply instrumental with english audio, while in the japanese version it has lyrics. i’m a lady now, honeybee remix’s song, is in english regardless of audio), and lastly,,, the dubbing for the returning tengoku games where there’s vocals.

so in space dance, the whole game uses audio cues. there’s three of them in total: “turn right”, where you press the right d-pad button on “right”. note that when they say it it does not sound like they are saying turn right. at all. i’m not sure why, it’s not just the gba’s bad sound quality because well. bon odori exists. and also because it’s the same in megamix when you use the japanese audio. my immediate thought is accents but i don’t know if japanese accents are a thing. might just be because of the fact that japanese people tend to pronounce r’s as l’s? not sure though. “let’s sit down”, where you press the down d-pad button on “down”. it also doesn’t sound like they’re saying “let’s sit down”. and lastly, “pu-pu-pu-punch”, where you press the a-button on “punch”. in order to punch. because that’s a dance move. like seriously, space dance is fun but how is this a dance? um anyways, in the english version of megamix they changed it so it’s more clear what’s being said but the dubbing’s not the best. firstly, they changed “turn right” to “and pose” even though that is definitely not posing. it’s weird since. that’s the only one that was changed. i don’t know how to describe what they did to space dance and most of y’all probably don’t play rhythm heaven so you don’t understand, so here’s a perfect gameplay of space dance with japanese audio (it took time to find), and here’s one with english audio. ,,, okay so the english one’s of cosmic dance because i. forgot what exactly i was doing. and got distracted looking through the comments. so now i know that they still reused space gramps’ voice for cosmic girl in cosmic dance. which like. wut? you redubbed it but you. you still reused. you still reused space gramps’ voice for her? megamix dubbers are you okay? i’m kind of concerned.

the other game that has audio is purely japanese audio. marcher/marching orders. it’s a keep the beat game where you play as a squadmate following the sarge’s orders. the rhythm heaven wiki’s description for it is basically what i said but they’re better at describing things then me so.

“In this game, a rookie is undergoing marching training with her squadmates while following their Sarge's orders. The player controls the rookie at the end of the line. There are four commands that the Sarge will yell.

"Attention, March!"

"Attention, Halt!"

"Left-face, Turn!"

"Right-face, Turn!"

The player must perform these with proper timing along with the other squadmates. Just before the game ends, the squadmates will be moved offscreen, still marching as the game ends.”

in the japanese version, the commands he says are obviously different, though i. do not know what he is saying. so have my attempts at romanizing it.

“gento susume!” = “attention, march!”

“gento commoback!” = “attention, halt!”

“meski meek!” = one of them? i don’t really know which and it feels inconsistent, at least in marcher 2. i think it’s right-face turn but i’m not one hundred percent sure.

“meski peek!” = the other one. so i think left-face turn.

,,, yeah i don’t know japanese, sorry if this (as in literally any of this) is offensive to anyone that does. i’m just trying my best. the wiki doesn’t say what he says in the japanese version. unlike for other games.

now in the japanese version, the sarge has a somewhat deep voice. but in the english version... he doesn’t.

um here’s a perfect in tengoku and here’s one in megamix that i think has english audio since. it says it’s the english version in the description. but i’m not listening to it.

u h my last nitpick with megamix is the prequels. so prior to lush remix, almost all the games played are prequels, easier and shorter versions of the actual games. after lush remix is completed and the towers of lush woods are unlocked (i’m just taking this from the wiki, wtf is lush woods), all the games from then on are the original versions, with “2″ or something else stuck onto them for the games that had prequels. this makes it irritating to find certain games on the wiki because it’s just like “no i don’t want normal wii micro-row i want wii micro-row 2 rhythm heaven wiki please” or whatever. also the picks for games that have prequels are all over the place, and some of the prequels’ music doesn’t seem to fit and makes it feel like all the patterns in the prequels for games like rhythm tweezers and clappy trio are the exact same. is it the exact same? because if so then that’s cool (i suck at rhythm tweezers and clappy trio-) but also very boring. i get that they wanted to start people with something easy but some of the games that have prequels were already easy. karate man (gba) is literally the first game in tengoku but it still has a prequel. rhythm tweezers is the second game but it has a prequel. clappy trio’s the fifth and it has a prequel (granted it is kind of hard). fillbots is the third in ds and it has a prequel. air rally is relatively early on in fever. you get my point. and the weird thing is that in some cases at least, games that have prequels which remove stuff from the actual games don’t have practices for things in the actual version. for example, air rally’s prequel doesn’t have forthington (the cat) changing distances, except for the last one which he apparently always catches, but wii air rally obviously does. granted, the rhythm’s the exact same when he’s far away (for some reason? i don’t think that’s how it should work-),  but it should still have practice. oh and in air rally they just completely removed the clouds that semi-block the visuals later in the game. yeah i don’t know either. that seems to be the only instance of that occurance, though.

another prequel nitpick: so i love rhythm rally. like it is the best game in ds imho. it’s fun, it’s not that hard (it is kind of hard but i still have fun), though i do play on emulator, god knows how hard it is when you’re like me and don’t know how to consistently flick dear god send help- but u m in megamix rhythm rally has a prequel. which may not seem bad or anything until you learn something. megamix rhythm rally is the shortest game in the series. showtime from tengoku is seven seconds longer while munchy monk from ds is twelve seconds longer. rhythm rally’s prequel is thirty seconds long. thirty seconds. t h i r t y s e c o n d s . d,,, don’t paddlers literally have to play ping-pong to not get like. really sick? i don’t think thirty seconds is a long enough ping-pong game to avoid that- y’all’s planet is literally named ping-pong but you only play for thirty seconds. on top of a flower. okay wtf is with the scenery on this planet, it has a resident rhythm heaven void that we should be concerned about why are there so many voids, s p a c e i t s e l f , a giant flower, and a giant cake. two concerning things and two things that are weird but not concerning. seriously though why are there so many voids in the rhythm heaven world? someone should look into this, i’m concerned.

u h anyways that’s all. have a good day.

[thegreymoon]

giuliano de medici?

Obligatory disclaimer here, anon, I’m really not a fan of this show and Giuliano de Medici. I think it’s a terribly written show and he’s a terribly written character, and even though it’s no secret I find Bradley James to be one of the most beautiful people alive, I’m going to go with 

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | 🤗Pretty🤗 | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Mind you, when I say ‘pretty’, I mean so goddamn beautiful I was willing to wade through THREE seasons of utterly infuriating bullshit just for him! (OK, two, because I still haven’t summoned the willpower to sit through season 3 even though I absolutely still plan on doing it 😭😭) I mean, just look at this man’s eyes: 

He’s so gorgeous, I could weep 😭

Also, I’m not going to pretend even for a second that the fact that the costumes gave off such strong Arthur vibes didn’t have anything to do with me sitting through this nonsense and almost enjoying it. When he said ‘I don’t have time for this,’ in this very scene, I got hit over the head with so much deja vu, because it is Arhur’s line, and it was totally Arthur’s delivery! His battle scenes gave me life, but why were they so short? Why was there not more? Why does everything about this shitty show have to be so goddamn unsatisfying? Did the Medici producers not see Merlin season 5? Did they not see what this man can do? Such a wasted opportunity, oh my fucking God! 

Anyway, rant incoming: 

Mind you, I don’t blame Bradley for the unsatisfactory mess Giuliano turned out to be, he did the best he could with the nothing he was given. Only Lorenzo got some semi-decent writing (and even this was not consistent), but Giuliano got such nonsense story arcs, I was sitting there not believing my eyes and ears! I’ve seen gutter trash soap operas with more believable cliche romance! Hell, I’ve seen twelve-year-old girls write better self-insert fanfiction! Even cartoons have better villains than that caricature of a husband, I was laughing out loud at what they were trying to get us to swallow! I mean that line, “It’s not the mask that attracts me, it’s what lies beneath it,” OMG, YOU’VE SEEN HER TWICE IN YOUR LIFE AND SPOKEN THREE WORDS TO HER, JUST SHUT UP!! 😣😫😭

It never gets better, unfortunately, and they wasted the character on this laughable romance instead of doing just about anything else with Giuliano! More of his relationship with Lorenzo, with Bianca, with Lucrezia, or even with Francesco! Hell, I would have even taken Sandro (even though the guy playing him can’t act to save his life and the character is beyond annoying)! Or, I don’t know, and this is just a radical idea here, they could have made Simonetta less two-dimensional and given us an actually believable romantic sub-plot with properly developed characters!

Oh, Gwen, how I missed you! I was forced to eat my words on each and every criticism I ever made about how poorly Arwen was written on Merlin, because it was perfect, perfect writing in comparison! So good, it could be taught in a literature master class! Oh my God, just how do you take two such beautiful people like Bradley and Matilda, put them together and end up with something so infuriatingly nonsensical, forgettable and bland? Colin Morgan has spoiled me and I confess that there was a moment in all my frustration where I had an ugly thought that Bradley James just has no chemistry with women on screen at all, but that’s not really true, because even at it’s worst, Arwen was never this bad and there was never a time when he and Angel actually made me roll my eyes at some of the worst pieces of dialogue I’ve ever heard. Then, of course, there was his performance with Barbara Hershey in Damien, which was on a whole another level of intense, so I have to conclude that the reason Giuliano and Simonetta and that whole ridiculous subplot were so terrible is because the writers could not write for shit. 

Also, as much as I love Bradley, I feel like he was tragically miscast in this role. I just didn’t buy him as Daniel’s younger brother at all. Not only is Bradley older IRL, he has the older brother vibes as well. It’s in his voice, his posture. Better writing for Giuliano notwithstanding, I feel like this show could have been vastly improved if Bradley and Daniel had switched roles. Again, did none of these people see Merlin? Did they not see how iconic Arthur was and what Bradley can do? Because, damn, that man has presence when you give him the proper material to work with, and they took advantage of none of it! I like Daniel, I really do, but even though he was given the best material on this show, he just didn’t fully deliver and I have yet to see him in anything where I am impressed by his performance and not just sitting there for his pretty face.

And since this has devolved into a looooooooong post that no longer has anything to do with the hotness of Giuliano de Medici, let me just mention him: 

Who is this guy and how do I get more of him, because, OMG!  😍🔥🔥🔥😍

He has the most fascinating face I’ve seen in a while, and the way he moves and carries himself is mesmerising! He deserved better-written villainy than what he was given! This show truly did not deserve its cast! Francesco Pazzi was so terribly written, it’s laughable, and yet, here was this guy, stealing the show left and right, in spite of the shit material he was given to work with! Somebody please cast him in something more worthy (preferably in English, or at the very least with English subtitles so that I can watch)! 😭😭

The thing that infuriates me about this series is that they had some fantastic actors here that totally deserved better, such a fascinating period to work with and some of the most interesting figures in history and they spent all their time and money on making them as cliche, two-dimensional, cartoonish and bland as possible.  

Also, I can’t end this post without mentioning how much I loved Sarah Parish as Lucrezia! The woman is perfect, OMG! 😍 The wives, in general, were too good for their husbands in both the seasons I watched so far. The mistresses can go choke, though, and I hated how much they tried to white-wash adultery all over the place. In addition to the poor writing, this show sent out some really gross messages and did nothing to call out all the misogynistic tripe. 

I must exclude Simonetta from my mistress-hate because she died a horrible death, and frankly, other than that, there was not much there for me to perceive her as a real character anyway. I wanted to like her so much because I saw the gifs on Tumblr before actually watching the show, but the writers gave me absolutely nothing to work with and in the end, all I was left with was that she died all alone and with no help or comfort, sick, cold and thirsty, which is one of my big personal fears. The fact that the writers did this to her for no logical reason but to play up Sandro’s and Giuliano’s selfish man-pain - after I really did not buy either of them actually loving her - was just an additional disgusting layer on this poorly written story arc. She deserved better. 

In conclusion, if it wasn’t for Bradley James being pretty, I would have quit this rubbish halfway through season 1 (if anyone is interested in reading just how much I hated it, you can find all my bile here). Season 2 was just as bad, but Bradley, Daniel and Matteo made intolerable characters bearable, which was something Richard Madden was unable to pull off. Of course, all my pure love goes to Contessina, Lucrezia and Clarice, because they were the only characters that I genuinely enjoyed in this mess and didn’t just put up with because I liked the people playing them.

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids” 4 times in 1 week and here are my thoughts

carmen your nightgown is like 200 years old, get a new one

you clearly know this story by heart, you’re saying parts of it. why are you questioning what “take him out” means

a double wig should be more obvious than that

we can see that that’s a glass elevator. people can see you changing, ingrid

nice hat

why did you kill the swan

is that paul rudd???????

how are jets ripping pages out of a book

heart shaped parachutes shouldn’t be working that well

why is there a guitar on your bed. how do you sleep

i think the kids would have seen the track in the floor at SOME point

why is there a jungle gym in their house. i know they’re spies but who has a jungle gym.... in their HOUSE

carmen you’re a frog

i think juni just legitimately try to kill carmen

why are both parents going to school. is that like, a Thing????

juni how do you do that

who puts a video screen in the front seat

hey look its floop. love that guy

they’re not picking on you for the bandages, it’s cuz you brought the toys OUTSIDE your backpack. always put them inside. trust me

did his mirror just.... zoom in?????

h*ck yeah beat him up greg

do all the other kids hate him too??????

dang that hurt

“chief” that’s so white

stupid kid. his dads a spy

that floop doll isn’t even close to accurate

hey look its floop again. love that dude

Big Willy Wonka Energy

oooh skipping numbers i see. love that

why do the subtitles have “mr. floop” as his name. its just floop, yall

“sometimes in order to think big you have to think small” pretty inspirational tbh

oh hes fidgeting!!!!!! love that

woah what are you doing this is rated pg ingrid

i wish my uncles would tell me im shrinking. they just make small talk abt school 😔

this gradenko lady looks like jan from the office

hey its floop again!!!!! love that dude

yes juni. its a fire drill in your own home

these dudes have a jungle gym AND a pool. what the h*ck

why did you pull off your mustache to prove you’re not related. if anything that makes you more related. greg does that too

why did he put the mustache back ON

where did those boats come from

carmen says manual weird. man-yull

right, cuz adrenaline causes warts

“don’t touch anything” *immediately touches everything*

basic boat ettiquette: don’t shit in the boat. those toilets can’t handle anything

is that globe..... punched in???????

floop!!!!!!! love that dude

feet on the desk????? i dunno seems pretty gay

since when did carmen get keys to that

i might be wrong but i dont think thats every country

what does pressure have to do with positioning a laser

this floor is the best mechanic in the whole movie. reminds me of a richie rich comic i had as a kids

why did they not run into the wall. i wanted to see that

is the slide there when floop films his show????

HEY ITS FLOOP!!!! love that dude

theres a bunch of normal food like.... sour worms. why did they pick the slime from charlie and the chocolate factory when johnny depp finds the oompa loompas

thats a sick coat. best one in the movie

that was a good snap. nice acoustics

God what a power move. something thanos would say

listen floop i love you but thats not how you say research

fELIX NO

and hes gone. cool

did she kick the camera?????

haha author unknown. cuz hes a spy

why did you take that one specifically????? plot convenience????

he can still be a spy, just not a good one. learn to read

is that supposed to be a question?????

FUN FACT if you listen closely when carmen says “like felix said” you can hear a weird cut in “said”, almost like its a new clip

theres no keyhole

i think juni can read. why are you spelling it

did you have the floop toys in your pocket????

OKAY THIS SCENE WHERE THEY PLAY IT BACKWARDS?????? THAT MESSED ME UP AS A KID 

what do those things do?????

i can feel the pain from the fan blades

how did that break the chain????

why would you annouce that. they can hear you. just because they’re thumbs doesn’t mean they’re deaf

that’s a thing, not a place

FLOOP!!!!! ON A BILLBOARD!!!! love that dude

how are you slipping. shes holding YOU

YOU DROPPED HIM GENIUS

how do people not notice the jetpack dudes

DOES NO ONE CARE THAT CLOTHES WERE STOLEN

that’s a cute coat

why is the lady cool with carmen just... doing that

HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!! AND THAT DUDE!!!!!

ofc you can’t think “straight enough” you’re gay

why is mexico sepia tone

when do you think juni had time to change and learn a new language

IF IT HURTS TO HIT HIM, S T O P

i wanna be on that merry-go-round

HOW DO YOU K N O W THAT HIS CODE NAME. WHY “MUST” IT BE HOMBRE

i love how junis just like “we already got a fake uncle”

LOOK AT HOW FLOOP IS SITTING!!!!!!!! THATS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!

ALSO MORE FLOOP!!!! say it with me, LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

minion looks like barry from friends

wait i lied this coat is better

we DO have uncles like that!!!!!

if your inventions are so good why is your font so BORING

hey wait carmen said that. hmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

glowsticks dont help you see like at all

the map looks like gallifreyan but its not. spy kids is older than the doctor who reboot

they go ZOOM

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY MANUAL!!!!!!!

great job carmen YOU wrecked the plane

WHATS A REGULATOR

oh its just a breathing thing

haha pee joke. funney

where are the brains coming from???? that factory is Not Correct

if i were juni i would look back over all the floop’s fooglies tapes and see what the agents were saying backwards. once the mission was done, ofc

it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what sknaht meant the first time

SEE THIS MECHANIC IS GOOD BC NOW THERES NO PLEXIGLASS

WHY DOES NO ONE RUN INTO THE WALL

F L O O P  I S  G O D

love that dude

you discussed with the spy parents that juni watched the show. he just told you that you took his parents. you KNOW this is juni, why are you surprised that he watches it????? you already know!!!!!!

tbh i kinda want some of those colorful chains. they’d look cool somewhere

haha voice crack

no wonder your shows not doing well. those are awful times

why is there a sexy thumb nurse. why did floop make the thumb nurse sexy

use her first name?????? you’re clearly dating

!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!

he cares so much about this show!!!!!! its so sweet!!!! love that dude

YEP THIS COAT IS BETTER, LOOKS A M A Z I N G IN A RUNNING SCENE

haha you killed carmen

ok this scene with the acid crayon is like my absolute favorite. something about using a crayon to escape and then floop (love that dude) opening the door a second later and then doing a double take. FAVE

wheres belize

ok so apparently its a country by mexico

no you CANT tell her you need to ESCAPE

we finally got a clean outside shot of the castle.... that place is wack

haha minion can’t sit in the hand chair correctly because hes STRAIGHT what a loser

hey juni HOW DO YOU DO THAT

minion you know what the robot costumes look like AND what juni looks like. dont be stupid

what..... what do you want carmen for, exactly, minion??????

floop is supportive of others’ art!!!!!!!!!!! love that dude

HE SAID “WHERE’S MOM AND DAD” LIKE THEY’RE HIS OWN PARENTS THAT’S SO C U T E

ALSO ANOTHER SCENE WITH THE GREAT RUNNING COAT

he says doppelganger beautifully

“its too late” that timing was BEAUTIFUL

you COULD take 500 brains out if you just TRIED HARDER. still love that dude

his control panel has buttons that spell “floop”

WHY CAN MINION TALK NORMAL

if its reversible why do you have it in later movies

carmen fights fake juni and juni fights fake carmen because they didnt have the fancy clone (?) technology

THREE TIMES!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL T H R E E  T I M E S THIS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!

nice censorship

HOW DID MACHETE SMASH ONLY THE CLEAR WINDOWS AND A L L THE CLEAR WINDOWS THERE ARE NO MORE CLEAR WINDOWS!!!!!! ANYWHERE!!!!!

wow nice 3 buttons thats totally how you hack

oh look they have all died

oh. guess not :((

machete you better rip off your mustache

HES GOING TO JUNIS LEVEL TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!! HE RUFFLED HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!! HES GONNA MAKE A GREAT DAD!!!!!!!

wow no shit ingrid

did he leave his wart bandaid on the kitchen counter?????

ALAN CUMMING!!!! ON A CEREAL BOX!!!!

ok CLEARLY other people watch floop’s show, he’s rated number 2. kids at the school are gonna recognize juni and carmen. they better get popular

is that george clooney

well that’s not how it works in spy kids 2. or 3. or 4. or the tv show

[sincerelymarinette]

A Recorded Life - Miraculous Ladybug (2/50)

Words: 1415 Chapter Summary: A year ago, Marinette's videos grew drastically. Today, her friends are still wrapping their head around it. Even though they fight about it a lot, Alya and Nino will never stop debating over the better superhero, and Marinette just so happens to catch it on camera. Author's Note: This part is REALLY based off my headcanon, so a lot comes from there. This one's fun and really introduces some more things that may happen in upcoming parts ;)

Prev / Next 

This Debate Might Ruin Our Friendship

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ONE YEAR AGO

"Marinette!" She nearly fell out of bed when she heard the familiar scream of Alya opening her trap door to her room. "Holy shit! Marinette, I'm going to die," Alya squealed as she failed to keep herself calm.

"What's going on?" Marinette asked quickly. "Is there another Akuma out to get you?"

Alya shook her head with the biggest smile. "No! Look!" Alya said and shoved her phone into Marinette's face after she got out of bed.

JAGGED @JaggedStone Do you rockers remember the little lady who made my album cover and usually helps me out in Paris? She's got an excellent Youtube channel with a bunch of creative videos. Marinette's a very talented girl and you'd be super uncool if you didn't check her out! www.youtube.com/user/MarinneteDesigns

JAGGED @JaggedStone @MarinetteDC let's make a video next time I'm in Paris! We have some wacky stories. Keep up the rockin awesome work!

Marinette almost fainted when she read the tweets, but Alya caught her. "It gets better," She warned and clicked on the link to Marinette's channel. She turned it around again, and Marinette tripped over nothing, followed by a scream.

"There is no way that's real!" Marinette caught her breath. "You're pranking me, totally. Okay, show me the camera; you got me."

Alya shook her head slowly. "No, Marinette, this is real. You have 1.3 million subscribers."

Again, Marinette screamed and had to sit down so she wouldn't fall. It might have felt a little stupid or crazy, but tears began to well in her eyes. Views on every video skyrocketed and she got so many lovely comments about everything. Even her less used second channel grew and gave her much more motivation to post the other and funny videos more times a week.

Marinette pulled out her phone while tears slowly went down her face and went live on Instagram to her, now high, follower count. "Hi guys, Marinette here," She said, breathing slowly to control her emotions. "I just woke up about three minutes ago to Alya barging into my room. Oh my god, overnight I gained a million subscribers. This is unreal; I can't believe it. Jagged Stone, thank you so much for helping me get my designs out to more people. I love making the videos I make; whether it be designing or the silly videos I do with my friends, this is so awesome. I've been doing this for about two years now, and I can't believe that I went to bed just hitting two-hundred-thousand subscribers, and now I have 1.3 million. I have so much more motivation from all the support and love I'm recieving, so expect more videos coming out very soon!" Marinette smiled so wide her cheeks were beginning to hurt.

"I'm going to help crank those videos out!" Alya jumped in frame. "This is crazy," She pointed to how high the viewer count was.

"I'm sorry to make this so short, but I just woke up and I am still in shock and still believing this is a dream. I need to process everything, too. Oh my god, thank you to everyone and Jagged Stone so much! I'll see you in my next video!"

And Marinette got to work cranking out more and more videos each week. More went to her main design channel, only a few to her second channel with random videos. But in a matter of a few months, she had a system down when to upload to both channels and she worked every day. Balancing school, two youtube channels, and saving Paris, Marinette had a lot on her plate. But she made it work.

---

PRESENT DAY

Marinette was eating her lunch and had her computer out, editing a new video. She had her headphones on and didn't even notice her friends come up to the table she was at.

"Marinette!" Alya shouted, making her friend jump and her headphones fell off.

"Alya, those are expensive headphones!" Marinette screeched as she picked up the headphones she used to edit.

The group laughed a bit before Marinette set the headphones down and looked to the group. "What video are you working on now?" Nino asked.

"This one is a small tutorial on how to make a simple skirt. I'm trying to edit it then later I have to do a voice over," Marinette explained. "It's been requested for a while."

Alya raised her eyebrow. "Marinette, no," She slowly closed the laptop, even if Marinette was protesting. "You need to eat more than an apple. Give editing a break and eat lunch."

"But today's my upload day!"

Adrien laughed. "Don't you upload every day?"

"Technically, no," She said. "I upload three things onto my main channel weekly, and about two things to my second channel weekly," Marinette told him. "But as today is Tuesday, it's time to edit for my video for tomorrow on my main channel."

Alya pulled out her phone and showed Adrien the schedule. "See, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are main channel uploads. Tuesdays and sometimes Saturdays are second channel uploads," Alya said. "But she works every day."

"You do what you have to to get paid!" Marinette shrugged.

"Don't I know it," Adrien agreed, and put out his hand for a fist bump. And slowly, Marinette bumped his fist.

Marinette put her laptop into her bag and proceeded to eat her lunch. Alya started freaking out about Ladybug and talking about how awesome she is- while Nino was disagreeing.

The argument went on for two minutes before Marinette pulled out her camera and started to record. "I don't understand how you think Chat Noir is better than Ladybug! I mean, I love them both, a lot. But, Ladybug has the better powers. She is the one who saves the day! She turns everything back to normal! She fixes all the messes Hawkmoth puts Paris in," Alya argued.

"But look at Chat Noir. His power is awesome! Being able to destroy something with one touch, I would love that. And he can easily get rid of villains weapons to defeat them easier!" Nino argued.

Alya raised her eyebrow. "Ladybug is the reason why we don't have villains running around every second of the day. She can purify the Akuma and make them regular butterflies!"

Nino shrugged. "I'm sure my man Adrien is on my side, right, Adrien?" Nino turned to Adrien, who was amused by the whole conversation.

"Nino, sorry, but I'm a true Ladybug fan. You should really know this."

"I'm betrayed, Adrien. But you're right, you're completely in love with her- it makes sense," Nino sighed. "Marinette, are you with me?"

Alya scoffed. "No way she is! She's obviously on my side!"

Marinette giggled from behind the camera. "I'm with Nino, sorry Alya. Ladybug may cleanse the Akuma and turn Paris back to normal, but she would be nothing without Chat Noir. He gives her the motivation to keep going and they are a team, they both need each other," Marinette explained her choice. "I don't know why we still argue this, they've been out heroes for like, three years. Haven't we talked about this enough?"

Alya blinked at her. "I can't believe you would do this to me. Adrien knows where it's at," Alya smiled at Adrien. "But Nino, I don't think I can make it to our date tonight. And Marinette, I will never stop debating this. I must take my leave," Alya grabbed her lunch and stood up, walking away.

"Alya!" Nino rolled his eyes and chased after her.

Marinette and Adrien laughed as their friends left them alone. "Any last words?" You pointed the camera at Adrien, who smiled as soon as he realized it was focused on them.

"Ladybug for the win," Adrien smiled and Marinette shook her head, turning the camera off.

"That's going to be really fun to subtitle," Marinette giggled. As Marinette speaks French and English, she uses English in her videos to make it more accessible to other people outside of French speakers, and it definitely helps with all her international subscribers. But at school, they all typically talk French, and now she had more work ahead of her with her editing.

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10

if you would like to be tagged, let me know!

[undeadarcticfox]

Storytime, part 3

Also known as the tale of how I lost the last shreds of my sanity in a galaxy far far away.

Today’s topic is something that has been on my mind in general for 20 years and in particular for a year and a half. Star Wars. Specifically a certain ship associated with the Sequel Trilogy. You’ll see.

Warning. Long as fuck text-only post under the cut. Also I may curse occasionally. I apologize.

Let’s first go back to 1999. I’m four years old and watching The Phantom Menace with my brothers (aged 8 and 10). I think it looks awesome. I’m terrified of Darth Maul. I want to be a Jedi, too. I don’t understand a word of English nor can I read fast enough to keep up with the subtitles. Doesn’t stop me.

Before someone gets uppity about us watching the prequels, we did watch the OT as well. It just happened that it was the PT coming out that got us into Star Wars in the first place.

I find it somewhat interesting that as much as I feared Maul, Vader wasn’t scary at all to me. I think it had something to do with the fact that he’s masked, but with Maul, that’s his actual face. Masks can be scary, but they’re not real. I did find Palpatine creepy as fuck, though.

Throughout the years I’ve seen I-VI so many times I can still quote all the scenes. I like ‘em and all, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan or anything. In 2015 I start to hear talk about more films coming out. I don’t know how I should feel about it. I choose not to watch them because I’m convinced it’s gonna ruin everything or something. I hear some plot- and character-related info but kinda disregard it completely.

Jumping forward to March, 2018. Right here on Tumblr, someone I follow for a completely different and unrelated fandom, reblogs a few images and gifs pertaining to TLJ. To be more specific, it was that bit where Rian Johnson talked about “closest thing to a sex scene in Star Wars“ and I’m like WTF is this what’s going on?

Jump again to June, 2018. I have a day off from work and for some incomprehensible reason I decide to watch both TFA and TLJ in a row. I somewhat knew what to expect, but not really.

To summarize, I knew these things:

TFA: -Han dies -The one who kills him is his and Leia’s son -The son is some kind of Vader-wannabe -I know what name he goes by (important wording, I assure you) and somewhat what he looks like (but no details) -The new hero is some random girl -They have a fight at some point, she wins

TLJ: -Luke dies -Apparently the scene I’ve heard so much about is here. It involves handholding? Between the two characters who were fighting last time. And it seems that shipping them together is a Thing. Interesting.

Well, having been thoroughly spoiled, TFA didn’t have a lot of surprises for me. I can only recall two, and they both involve a certain person in a mask. First surprise: Holy shit he’s kinda goodlooking now what is he doing that’s not how you interrogate someone now is it what the hell are you doing? Second surprise: His name is Ben? Han and Leia named their kid after Obi-wan? Cool. Dude what the fuck do you think you’re doing that’s your dad!

Have to also point out that I was in awe that this guy is even conscious at the end. First getting shot in the side with a weapon that sends most people flying, then getting hit with a lightsaber on his arm, his shoulder, his leg, AND his face? Are you sure that guy’s human?

Well, that was an interesting movie. Give me more.

(This turned into a fucking memoir about TLJ now. I’m sorry.)

Seriously, you’re starting with a your mom joke? Are you kidding me? Funny and all, but come on. Luke why are you such an asshole what happened to you? Well look who’s here. Dude when did you last sleep you look worse than me. And wait a minute they moved the wound on your face. Fuck you Snoke I hope you die.

Dude what the fuck you gonna kill your mom next? Oh, you didn’t. I’m sorry I yelled at you, then. Holy shit Leia what you do that’s awesome!

Umm what? How are you two seeing each other this is intriguing. I have no idea what’s going on but I like it.

Again? What is this thing how is it happening I want to know. Wait a minute there’s water on his face how did it get there.

Sir, I do believe you’ve forgotten your shirt. I’m not complaining, though.

Now wait just a minute this is that handholding scene I read about. I like it. A lot. Luke you just killed the moment!

So what exactly happened, then, Luke? You almost tried to kill him and he ran off and everybody’s dead? There’s a lot we’re missing here.

Rey what the hell are you planning now...

Well, this is one interesting elevator ride you two are having. Rey! Ever heard of personal space? Seriously you two look five seconds away from making out.

Fuck you again Snoke I now hate you even more. Are you trying to be all Palpatine here or something?

Now wait a fucking minute what is your left hand doing there OHMYGODHOLYSHIT you killed him just like that. And now a fight. Awesome teamwork.

Dude you did NOT just propose did you? Holy shit that’s a bad choice of words you have there. Aaand everything’s going to shit. Again.

Well, that was an experience. I can kinda see why you would want to ship it.

A month later I watch them again. And a third time on August 3rd. This is an important date, because it’s the day I went fuck it I ship it and started reading metas and fanfics. Now it’s been over a year and I still haven’t stopped.

Of course, it took me this long to finally admit publically that I ship it because I've seen how other reylos got treated and I wanted none of that. Especially since I happen to fit the stereotype to a tee.

But now that there’s under two months til TROS I finally say it. I fucking ship it with all my being. Come at me.

[theskyexists]

Spyfall part 1 (spoilers)

Ok so.

I was pleasantly surprised.

I really was.

I thought this was going to be another disaster ( which for me watching a chibs ep means: I am stewing in frustration during and afterwards I think what in the heck was that,  it doesn’t make ANY sense)

I appreciate how the trailer (the good one) was almost completely taken from this first episode - that was well done. I’m not as happy that the motorbiking was much more fun and cool in the trailer than the episode in which it didn’t really involve any stakes only reinforced by all the bullets hitting the motorbikes - harmlessly??

I have to say - that twist. Uh.............???? All I could think was, really? REALLY?? Already? Huh?? I couldn’t believe it. I literally was like - surely not. You’re not now implying this. How can you reboot Missy after ONE series break? That’s really...like, it did not feel right. And I’ll be honest, I was just straight up disappointed by a male Master. Then I thought, well, maybe we’re going to get a worthy opponent for the Doctor.....? :/

However, I like the actor. He gave O a lot of humanity - interestingly. Like O as a character - bit sad he doesn’t exist.

I actually liked the directing, i noticed that the very, very up close stuff - it now really gave a little more subtle panic vibe. The music was.

The pace seemed high to me - so check. Chibs fixed a big problem of mine.

Lots of character moments. Check. Though not being a native speaker and having no access to subtitles i had to really listen very VERY hard for those interactions. I liked the ‘iced tea - possibly.’

We briefly get to find out how the companions are dealing with travelling in combination with their regular lives. Check. Alright then. Graham even discusses it - the temporal disorientation.

The companions are PUT IN DANGER. check, fuckin hell finally. There’s just a bit of suspense in this.

Loved the decided focus on Yaz and Ryan. Check. Ryan being a normal kid not trained for this shit and Yaz smoothing the conversation, taking risks, asking sharp questions, modelling herself after the Doctor - I really like how they contrasted that.

I suspect Ryan casually noticing the weird statue in the glass case is going to be relevant however. (if not - sigh)

Really really liked how Chibs really worked at NOT undercutting the Doctor -  giving her clear moments of authority and genius and unaffectedness as the Doctor is supposed to get.  ‘i got an upgrade’ and having the Doctor chewing people out, interrogating them, negotiating with them - WITHOUT getting self-conscious or self-deprecating - lots of confidence - all of that helped along by multiple special agents coming for the Doctor - implying the need for more force, C mistaking Graham (i like that lil moment) but losing his argument to her, O being such a fan, and the Doctor sassing so much - he really worked on rendering her authority.

He only put in two moments:  ‘I don’t understand’ and ‘I think it’s laughing at you Doc’ - ‘I know that!’ which was so similar to the Tsuranga Conundrum I guess Chibs is going to buckle down on this specific stuff (and I can see how the Doctor sometimes simply admitting to not knowing might be a deliberate and interesting choice) - well if it’s balanced like this it’s alright. NOT so happy about this RANDOM SPY DUDE telling her to go back inside - which is clearly something Chibs wanted to emphasise AGAIN because that bit was completely isolated, that she should listen to other people - always just your regular self-sacrificial well-meaning men!!! (turns out lol they always get killed if she listens to them but the narrative doesn’t acknowledge that.) And i Hate it.

Also actually, that ‘i don’t understand’ was about multiple earths, and she’d just heard that the aliens were going to conquer the ‘universe’, implying they were from somewhere else. Like, if the very normal viewer (me) can see the writing on the wall, then why the fuck can’t the Doctor. I just wish Chibs would stop emphasising his need for his character not to figure out the plot at that moment - at great cost to the character and accompanying power fantasy.

Most of all, I thought the acting was great. Jodie built in a LOT more calm and authority (the script explicitly allowed her that) but also lots of quirkiness. Graham really got a wonderful supporting role dynamic with the Doctor as he does at his best - emphasising her go go go attitude and genius, and Yaz got to have a near-death experience. Bit weirded out that once again, it’s not the Doctor who deals with the fallout of a mission which she’d explicitly sent Yaz on. I also got some VERY ominously heterosexual vibes from Ryan and Yaz there....mostly because of the sister angle.... hmmmm

I liked the topicalness of ‘VOR’ and the dependence of national governments on their expertise and resources but I have no idea where it’s going or whether Chibs just wanted to point out: yeah tech giants (esp google) are powerful. kay. true.

Liked the Doctor doing some computer stuff bc it tickled that women programming narrative.

Loved Graham and Ryan bantering. Loved the moment in the TARDIS with the creatures getting in and Yaz pulling Doctor to attention. Loved the moment that the Doctor was playing a totally different game from blackjack extremely seriously. hahaha. strangely enough loved the moment between O and Yaz in the casino as well though I don’t know what it means. Maybe nothing. (MAYBE YAZ BECOMES THE MASTER)

Anyway as a viewer who’s not super good at theorising - i was like.....????????

A lot of stuff is uh - strange. e.g. Why can the scanner identify 93% human dna but not the 7% alien (or whatever it is) dna? Not sure why Yaz would be able to wipe the camera images of them from a distance (???) but then Barton got them recovered no probs. The car stuff took a bit too long but eh. I also in retrospect have no idea why they’d try to assassinate them via car. Also let’s not talk about everybody sprinting at the same speeds as a plane during take-off.

Anyway. The ‘monsters’ sure are - not exactly scary - but a bit typical. I liked the implication of them not being from this universe bc it’s a bit different. But if the Master is in league with them it’s uhhhh well it’s quite typical. I enjoyed this episode riffing on the spy genre. That is to say, they carried it off - watching the preview i was like...why spies??? but they asked the same question and it worked.

I feel like it would have been possible to make this a little bit more scary, just a little bit more scary. I appreciate that them playing with the lights was supposed to be  that - but surely there’s a more scary way to represent creatures not from this universe - for horror purposes? there is such a primal fear you can tap into.

ANYWAY

the Master literally spelling out ‘everything you know isn’t real’ or whatever makes me feel hopeful about this being not just the face of it all. Multiple universes, multiple masters?, and Yaz got hella zapped and then zapped right back into the midst of the team? interesting huh....

what a weird episode to start off a season with and whether he makes it work or not - that IS quite brave.

forgot to say: they really love instantly killing off their famous guest actors. think Fry did quite a good job with what he got.

also one more thing i LOVED; the Doctor threw herself against the door of the cockpit when the bomb went off in some sort of attempt to protect her companions. wanted that from the Sonic Bomb in Tsuranga (it just fit) and glad i got it here.

when part 2 gets here i might still think: what in the heck that didn’t make ANY sense.

[horrorphile62318]

Day 5: I chose Krampus for this list because honestly, I love this movie. The movie definitely wasn’t what I expected it to be. Personally, I do not like when horror crosses with comedy mainly because I just find that the creators go way over board with comic relief. I did have a feeling that this movie would go overboard with comedy solely because I saw Adam Scott and David Koechner were starring in the movie. But I still went to see it because I have always loved the folklore surrounding Krampus. I love it so much that I have even told my eldest about him. Dumbed down G rated version for the kid but hey I can give more details when he gets older and honestly there is worse things, I can tell the kid. For Krampus though, I love that parts of the movie are actually kind of creepy and some even terrifying but other scene you laugh and kind of feel better for a moment. The gingerbread cookies coming alive always makes me laugh hysterically!

Christmas Evil (Day 6)

This movie has been a recent discovery for me thanks to the Shudder streaming service! Released as a low budget movie in the 80’s I actually found this to be and incredibly well-done movie. The acting was wonderful. Especially the lead character, Brandon Maggart as Harry Stadling! He played such a great psycho. The kind of psycho that after so many years just completely loses his mind and starts killing people. Plus, what better time to go completely nuts than at Christmas when tension is already insanely high! The plot line to the story I was a bit unsure of, like honestly discovering Santa is not real and that’s what starts your mass decent into madness? Little odd but as the movie progresses it honestly just becomes very enticing and ends on such a perfect note that it really does not leave it open for a sequel, and to my knowledge there isn’t one (note I have not searched very hard so if I am wrong please let me know). The only issue I had with the movie was I found just the editing to be a bit choppy. But even then, I have seen way worse!

All the Creatures Were Stirring (day 7)

This has also been another wonderful find on Shudder! And yes, again with the anthologies! This anthology movie however is just smaller movies within the actual movie itself. With a lot of anthology movies, I always find they get predictable, and by predictable, I mean every one dies at the end of the story. With this anthology however you get the fun in guessing whether everyone will survive or not. I did have two of the stories where I could not get into them for the life of me but the rest really kept me interested! And the ending for the main storyline was a wonderful twist!

Rare Exports (day 8)

Of course, every so often I need to throw in something foreign! Rare exports was gifted to me many years ago by a friend who knew my beginning obsession with subtitled horror! This movie in a way almost has a Krampus feel to it plus it is based in Finland where a lot of our folklore comes to life. While this movie is not particularly scary (for me anyways) it did make me jump a few times. It is a typical movie where the kid knows something is wrong but of course the adults do not believe him but at least it isn’t like all movies where the parents brush everything off until shit has completely hit the fan. And to utilize all those Santa looking creatures to ship them all over the world for basically mall Santa’s is not only kind of genius but hey those families will never go hungry again!

What do you think of the choices above? Let me know!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z Movie 3: Tree of Might

Movie time again.    This time around it’s “Tree of Might”, which premiered on July 7, 1990, between Episodes 54 and 55 of the anime.

I feel like this is one of the more popular movies of the lot, but it’s never been high on my list.   There is a lot to appreciate here, but there’s some things that bug me, and I guess they don’t bug anyone else quite as much.    It’s definitely way better than “World’s Strongest”, so I don’t want to overstate my case here.  

The movie opens with a space probe heading for Planet Earth.    Pretty sure someone making this movie had just watched “The Empire Strikes Back.”

On Earth, Bulma, Krillin, Oolong, and Gohan are on a camping trip.   Okay, so I guess there was at least one other meeting between Gohan and Oolong after Movie 2, and this was it.  I’m curious to see if they ever interact in any later films, or the TV series.  

Honestly, I’m not really sure why Oolong would be involved here.    In the last movie, it made sense, because he was the only one who would drag Gohan out on a Dragon Ball hunt, which drove the whole plot.   Here’s he’s just chilling out with the trio who went to Namek.   He feels like an odd man out. 

I feel like this movie is angling at being an epilogue to the Namek Saga, since it depicts everyone safe and sound on Earth.  It doesn’t fit well with continuity, but the Namek Saga was still in progress when this movie came out, so I can’t blame the writers there.   In any case, the implication is that Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan all got back to Earth, and the first thing they wanted to do together was spend some quality time with Oolong.  

Anyway, Gohan’s mom made him pack a ton of stuff he probably wouldn’t need for a camping trip.

Nearby, that probe lands in the forest and the heat of the impact starts a fire!  Ruh-roh!

Krillin wakes up to the smell of burning everything, and we see all the animals fleeing in terror, including this little dragon.

Krillin tells Gohan to use his ki to put out the flames.   

While they do that, Gohan notices the dragon trapped under a... log?    It looks more like a really long piece of rock, but I don’t know what you’d even call that.    Gohan lifts it up and the dragon moves to safety.

Later, the fire’s out, but the forest is still ruined, and the gang feels sorry for all the homeless animals.   I don’t know, maybe I’m jaded, but I always found it a little cloying how all the animals just stand around at the edge of the forest, looking all sad, like they’re neighbors or whatever.    I don’t know what real deer do in a real forest fire.   Maybe they just die, but I’m pretty sure the ones who don’t just keep running until they find somewhere else to live.   

Then Krillin has a great idea...

Dragon Ball Z!   Wow, this is a great idea, Krillin.   This show kicks ass, but unfortunately they already made it, so it’s not really your idea, you know?

But seriously, Krilln plans to track down the Dragon Balls just so they can wish to have the forest restored.     In lieu of the usual opening credits, we get this montage of the gang collecting the Dragon Balls.    Here’s Gohan flying an aircraft.    I’d ask why they thought this made sense, but they had Gohan fly an aircraft in the last movie, so whoever made Tree of Might can just claim that the precedent was already set.  

Just a thought, but maybe the reason Gohan does all this zany stuff is because Chi-Chi makes him study too much.   By that I mean, she wants him to become a scholar, but for some reason she made him read an entire pilot manual, just in case it ever came up in some entrance exam.    We’ve seen how well Gohan absorbs information, so naturally  he’d finish the book and want to try it out for himself.    Chi-Chi probably made him read a book about lion taming, and then she wonders why Gohan ran off to join the circus.

Here’s a variation on the OP, only with a dinosaur chasing Gohan instead of Bulma.    Gohan ought to be strong enough to kick that dinosaur’s ass, though.

For some reason, Tien and Chiaotzu happen to be jogging by while they’re at it.    Small world, I guess.

And then Gohan shows up with the last ball.  Good thing, too.   The theme song was almost over.

And finally we get the title card.   Granted, these trees in the background don’t look very mighty, but bear with us, we’re getting to that.

DRAGON DRAGON!   ROCK THE DRAGON!   DRAGON!   BALL! Z!

DRAGON DRAGON!   ROCK THE DRAGON!   COME!  COME GET ME!

The sight of Shenron panics that little dragon Gohan saved, and it tries to attack him?   That seems like an unusual response.   Gohan calls him “Haiya Dragon”, so I guess he named him off-screen?   

In the English dub, the dragon was named “Icarus”, which I frankly prefer, because what kind of name is “Haiya Dragon” , anyway?   That’d be like naming your son “Hello Human.”

Shenron flails his tail around, and maybe he was getting ready to slap some sense into Icarus, or maybe he didn’t even notice the guy.   Anyway, Gohan holds Icarus back and makes their wish.

And the forest is saved!   I assume the gang finished their camping trip and went home.    All the animals return to their burrows and trees and bushes or whatever, and the probe robot crawls out of its crater.   Wait, that can’t be good.

The probe sends signals back to a group of aliens.   They confirm the presence of life signs on Earth, although no one can believe it, because they know the Saiyan Kakarot was sent to Earth, and he should have wiped out all of its life a long time ago.  

Okay, but why did they bother sending the probe if they didn’t think there would be anything there worth finding?    Well, anyway, the probe reports that Earthis a suitable environment for the Shinseijuu Tree, which is Japanese for “Divine Essence Tree” Tree.    Um, I think the subtitles goofed a little.   I’m just gonna call it the Tree of Might.   

That reminds me, the actual title of this movie is Chikyū Marugoto Chōkessen, which means “A Super-decisive Battle for Earth.”   It’s also been called “Super Battle In the World”, which sounds pretty dumb.   For some reason, most of the movies have Japanese titles that absolutely refuse to indicate what they’re about.     Literally every DBZ movie could have been called “A Super-decisive Battle for Earth.”    Well, I guess Movie 6 was a battle for New Namek, but Meta-Cooler would have attacked Earth eventually.

Later, we find Goku and Gohan chillaxing in the oil drum they bathe in.    Chi-Chi’s tending the fire that keeps the water hot.    Does Chi-Chi bathe in this thing?  She’d have to, right?    I’m surprised that erotic DBZ  fan artists haven’t jumped all over that concept.    “Oh, now that the fire’s going and I’ve taken off my clothes, I can climb into this oil drum and take a bath!    It’s a good think I live in the middle of nowhere, so no one can see my boobs!”  

But then Icarus shows up and frightens Chi-Chi until Gohan explains who he is.   Chi-Chi immediately takes a dislike to the creature, and I’m with her on this one.   Icarus is a stand-up dude and all, but he looks kind of creepy.   He’s supposed to be cute, but he ends up looking like one of those Precious Moments figurines.

Chi-Chi tells Gohan to take the dragon back where he came from.   Goku tries to stick up for him, but she won’t hear of it.   

Gohan shoves Icarus away, but let’s be real here, he could carry Icarus all the way back to his forest if he really wanted to.

Then Goku leads them both to this cave he fixed up as a hideout for Icarus.   This seems pretty dumb.   Goku tells him not to let Chi-Chi know about this, but how did Chi-Chi find out about Icarus in the first place?   He followed Gohan to the house where she could see him.   

But Icarus is grateful, and he licks Goku.   See, Goku looks way, way cuter than Icarus.    They really tried to hard with Icarus’ design.  

Meanwhile, Yamcha’s cruising around in a car he bought with a 15-year loan, when suddenly he gets blasted out of the sky by...

... one of these assholes, I guess.    If I understand correctly, they blasted a big crater in the ground so they could plant their Tree of Might seed, but I don’t really understand why they couldn’t just use a gardening spade.    

Tell you what, let’s go over these guys names right now.   The big red one in the center is Amond.     The guy on the left is Daiz.   He wears pink leg warmers.  

The alien in the silver armor is Cacao.   I think he’s a cyborg, but who cares?  And the two little purple guys are Rasin and Lakasei.   They’re all wearing Frieza Soldier gear, so does that mean they work for Frieza?   Well, we’ll get to that.

The seed starts growing almost as soon as it hits the soil.   

Meanwhile, the aliens’ mysterious leader notes that this was all made possible by Goku’s failure to destroy the planet’s population as he was supposed to do.

The Tree of Might is huge, to the point where its roots erupt underneath a whole city, which I’m pretty sure is miles away from the forest where it was planted.

In the forest, Icarus watches this enormous tree finish growing, and he knows things are looking bad.

Meanwhile, most of the major Dragon Ball characters have gotten together at Goku’s house.   I’m not sure why.    Also, they didn’t invite Launch, which is kind of bullshit.   

Bulma gives Yamcha shit for buying such an expensive car, and accuses him of trying to impress girls.   So yeah, about the continuity of this movie.     These characters won’t be reunited on Planet Earth until Episode 120 of the TV series.   By the time that happens, Gohan’s a few years older, and Goku’s learned to turn into a Super Saiyan, so this whole movie just doesn’t fit.    Nevertheless, it seems to depict a possible scenario where the good guys managed to return safely from Namek and wish all their dead friends back to life.    In other words, this is the first time Bulma and Yamcha are seen together again since his death in the Saiyans Saga, and what is she doing?    Yeah.

Same, Tien, same.    Chiaotzu’s not gonna let this stop him from enjoying free refreshments though.

Then Icarus shows up at the window, and Goku and Gohan get caught trying to keep him, but they miss the fact that Icarus came back to warn them about the Tree of Might.   Too bad he can’t talk.

Fortunately, King Kai can talk, and he can communicate with Goku telepathically, and he warns him about the Tree of Might.    Well, “warn” might not be the right word.    According to King Kai, the Earth was doomed the moment the tree took root.    It’s basically a parasite on a planetary scale.    As it grows, it sucks the nutrients and life force from the host planet, reducing the whole world to a lifeless desert.

So where does something like the Tree of Might come from?   King Kai says it was originally grown so that the gods could eat its fruit.    That sounds halfway plausible, until you consider that a lot of the “gods” in this franchise aren’t nearly as awe-striking as the Tree of Might.    It’s hard to imagine someone like Kami planting a tree like this, destroying a whole planet just to eat its fruit.    King Kai literally cooks his own meals, and he seems to eat the same stuff as everyone else.     King Yama has a tree in hell that bears fruit reserved specially for him, but it’s not nearly as big as this one.   I could imagine Beerus snacking on fruit from a tree that kills whole planets, but he’ll settle for cup ramen.    More importantly, Beerus and his ilk wouldn’t be introduced to the franchise for another 23 years.

I’m not sure what King Kai is trying to tell Goku.    If it’s too late, why bother telling him about this at all?   Is he trying to suggest that Goku should evacuate the planet? 

Well, King Kai should know better, because Goku stone cold does not give a shit.    As soon as he hears about this crisis, he immediately makes plans to go beat up a tree.   His plan: Let’s all go shoot it with our best hand lasers.   Diagnosis: Awesome.

Then they all put their hands together in a show of solidarity.     It’s time to show that tree who’s boss!    Look at Chiaotzu.    He’s literally lying on top of the table just to reach the others.

Then Gohan tries to join in, because hell yeah.   Gohan can help.   He fires some really good hand lasers, especially for his age.

But his mommy said no, so he’s gotta stay home.    Better luck next time, kid.

Krillin notes that his wish to restore the forest was a total waste, since this stupid Tree of Might wrecked it all over again.     I think the whole point of that forest fire was just to give the characters a reason to use the Dragon Balls early, so that way they wouldn’t be able to wish their way out of this situation.    I’m not sure Shenron could remove a tree this huge, but it’s a moot point now.   The Dragon Balls won’t work again for another year.

So they shoot their finest energy blasts at the base of the tree, and it does nothing.   Krillin suggests another try, but Yamcha points out that if they use too much power they could destroy the Earth instead.

Then these jerks show up.   Okay, so this is one thing that’s always bugged me about this movie.   From here on, much of the action takes place on the Tree of Might itself, so you end up with a lot of indistinct backgrounds which are probably meant to be super-giant tree bark.   It just makes it hard to tell where anyone is in relation to anything else.   What exactly are they sitting on here?   Why does the Tree of Might have all these convenient ledges and horizontal surfaces for people to stand on? 

Yamcha demands vengeance for his dearly departed car.   Uh, yeah...   Whatever gets you in the zone, buddy.

The boys square up for a fight.    You know, I remember watching parts of this movie on Toonami back in 1999, and scenes like this, and Yamcha’s appearancs in the Frieza Saga, were really my first introduction to the character.   What really stood out for me was that he looked almost exactly like Goku.    Kind of like how Flash Thompson was a big fan of Spider-Man, and one time he dressed up as Spidey for a Halloween party, and the real Spider-Man had to trick Green Goblin into thinking that Flash was the real thing.    It just really looks like Yamcha is this jock who decided to dress up like Goku because he loves Goku so much.

Anyway, these two guys do some dumb shit.   I really hate Rasin and Lakasei.    Just... everything about them sucks.   They sound terrible in every dub, they look like inflamed hemorrhoids, and they do absolutely nothing to move the story forward.   

Tien blinds them with the Solar Flare, and that’s about the only effective offense the Z-Figthers manage in this whole movie.

It’s really a shame, because this is one of the few movies that actually bothers to use Yamcha, Tien, an Chiaotzu, and they get jobbed out.   Would it have been so bad to have Yamcha use his Spirit Ball on Cacao and actually hurt him?  Krillin’s Kienzan is one of the more serious techniques in the series, so I might have been cool to actualy see him kill somebody with it.     I’m pretty sure Chiaotzu has never won a fight in Dragon Ball up to this point.    Would it have been so bad to just let him kill Rasin?     But no.  

I always wondered why they included Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu in this particular movie, but now that I’m watching them in sequence with the anime, it makes some sense.    Around this time, the TV series had just revealed that they were training with King Kai in the afterlife, and one could certainly speculate that they would get resurrected later on, and play a role in the final battle with Frieza and/or Vegeta.   I think “Tree of Might” was trying to play along with that idea, except it never actually pays it off.    

Chiaotzu is in trouble for a while, until Gohan suddenly shows up to help.  Turns out Icarus managed to bring him to the forest where the battle was going on, so now he’s here to turn the tide.    Or something.

This attracts the attention of the boss alien, who recognizes Gohan as a Saiyan.

So he goes out to meet the kid, and realizes that he must be Kakarot’s son.   He introduces himself as Turles and...

Yeah, he looks like Goku.  That’s the big twist.  

Only it’s not much of a twist at all.   Turles explains that it’s not even that big a deal that he and Goku look alike, since they’re both “disposable, lower-class warriors.”   According to Turles, low-class Saiyans “only come in a few types.”  

I’ve seen this line interpreted in many different ways.    Some fans have suggested that the Saiyans cloned their low-class warriors.   I think a lot of fans prefer the idea that Turles an Goku might be related somehow.  Bardock and Goten’s close resemblance to Goku seems to support this.    Hell, Gohan looks a lot like Goku if you don’t take the hair into account.  

I think there’s always been a desire to make something more out of Turles than what the movie offers.    The fact that he looks like an evil Goku is easily the most intriguing thing about the character, and this movie does absolutely nothing with it.   Turles himself acts like it doesn’t matter, and Gohan is the only character who even seems to notice.   So why did they bother making him look like Goku in the first place?

I feel like part of the idea here was to explore the idea of what Goku might have been like if he hadn’t hit his head and turned good.  Turles could be a glimpse into what Kakarot might have done as a villain, although he’s so different from the real Goku that it doesn’t seem all that convincing.   They could have made him look like another Saiyan, and it wouldn’t really affect anything.  

Turles’ main personality trait is that he seems to want to recruit Gohan and Goku to his cause, saying that Saiyans should stick together.    I’m not sure if he truly believes that, or if he just thinks that his gang could use a couple more Saiyan lackeys.   He talks up the space pirate life as an endless romp around the universe, taking whatever he wants and enjoying food and drink as he pleases.  Again, I don’t know if that’s a genuine sentiment, or if it’s just his recruitment pitch.

Piccolo shows up and tries to save Gohan, but Turles makes short work of him, and goes back to tormenting the kid.

Turns out he can make one of those fake moon things just like Vegeta.

He forces Gohan to look at it, and then he destroys it as soon as Gohan turns into a giant ape.

He says it’s because he doesn’t want to turn into a giant ape himself, but why wouldn’t he?    Why did he turn Gohan into a giant ape?    He doesn’t need any help to beat the Z-Fighters.   Is he trying to prove a point?  Gohan won’t even remember anything he did in ape form.   Also, shouldn’t the transformation wear off once the fake moon is gone?   Turles accounts for this by saying it’ll stick for a little while, even after the power ball is gone, but that doesn’t sound right.    When Piccolo blew up the moon, Gohan changed back immediately.

For that matter, what good is the fake moon technique if it can be dispersed so easily?    Krillin could have attacked it during the Goku/Vegeta fight instead of trying to cut off Vegeta’s tail.

So now Goku has to fight his own son in giant ape form.    To the movie’s credit, this is a big highlight, because it’s the only DBZ movie to feature a giant ape transformation.    And that’s all well and good, but it seems kind of empty to me because I have no idea why Turles set this up.   Does he want Gohan to kill Goku?   Is that supposed to make Gohan more eager to join him?

The fight ends up in a cavern, which I think turns out to be the same cave Goku used as a home for Icarus.   That, or Icarus just happened to be here.   Either way, just seeing Icarus calms Gohan down.

This is cute and all, but it seems odd that Oozaru Gohan would react so strongly to Icarus when he didn’t even recognize his own father.

Irritated, Turles tries to attack Icarus, which turns Gohan against him.    Turles tries to kill Gohan with a laser donut...

But Goku cuts off Gohan’s tail before it can hit him, and he shrinks back to little kid size just in time to fall through the donut.   I guess it’s lucky that Turles relies on donut-shaped attacks.

Turles then offers to spare Goku if he pledges to join him, but Goku refuses.   He came her to whip a tree’s ass, and if Turles is pro-tree, then he can get wrecked along with it.   

Then all of these creeps show up to fight Goku first.    See, this is dumb.    They not only made a clean sweep of Goku’s teammates, they didn’t even defeat them on screen!   

Here’s a shot of Tien passing out from the hypothetical beating he took from Amond or some other guy.   

Well, at least this sets up a cool scene where Goku has to fight them all by himself, right?   Not really, Goku squashes them all in  matter of seconds.

Meanwhile, Piccolo tries to take on Turles, but he’s just no match for him.

Boom, roasted.

I mean, why couldn’t Yamcha take this guy out?  What was the point of having Yamcha in the movie if Goku was going to beat all the bad guys by himself?

With the rabble cleared away, Goku finally gets down to business.   Turles panics when he sees how strong Goku is, so he runs away...

...and picks a piece of fruit from the Tree of Might.    Why does he stick his tongue out to eat it?   That just looks kind of weird.  

Basically, the fruit of the Tree of Might ramps up a person’s battle power, which allows Turles to overpower Goku with ease.    This is the core concept with Turles, I think.    The challenge with this movie was to invent a new villain who could challenge Goku in the same manner as Vegeta and Frieza.   Well, that’s a tall order, because Frieza was hyped as the strongest guy in the whole universe.    A Saiyan villain would have made sense, except Vegeta was the strongest Saiyan, and the only one left.     To introduce a new Saiyan, you’d have to explain why he’d be strong enough to rival Vegeta or Frieza.

The solution is the Tree of Might.    I can’t find the line now, but there’s a part of the movie where Turles or one of his crew mention that the Tree of Might will make Turles strong enough to defeat Frieza.   It’s pretty clear, then, that he’s a renegade from Frieza’s organization.     They have their old uniforms, but instead of working for Frieza, they just roam the universe looking for places to plant their Tree of Might seeds.    They grow a new tree, eat the fruit, get stronger, and then repeat the process.   Turles started out as a weakling like Goku once was, but he found a way to cheat the system, and now he’s on his way to becoming the strongest in the universe.  

Turles leaves Goku when he refuses to surrender, and then Goku’s friends speak to him telepathically.   I’m not sure when they learned to do that, but whatever.   They beg Goku to get up and try a Spirit Bomb, and Goku finally musters the strength to try it.

While he does that, the Z-Fighters assemble for one last stand against Turles.   I guess this is supposed to buy time for Goku, but I’m not sure he needs it.   Turles isn’t actually doing anything at the moment.  

But it doesn’t work.   The Spirit Bomb relies on borrowng life energy from everything on the planet, and that’s been drained away by the Tree of Might, so Turles thwarts Goku’s attack with ease.    Oh, he also clobbered the Z-Fighters, so they’re down too.  Triumphantly, Turles looks at his fruit crop.    Where exactly is this that he’s standing right now?   

But Goku isn’t beaten yet.    He drags himself back into the fight, and confronts Turles one more time.

See, this time, Goku has a way to make the Spirit Bomb work.   If all of the Earth’s energy is in the Tree of Might...

... then he’ll just draw the energy from the fruit instead of the planet, and make a Spirit Bomb from that.

There’s this tense standoff, and then they both attack each other in a single instant, and Goku’s Spirit Bomb wins out.    I always have trouble remembering how this movie ends, and I think it’s because the climactic moment is so quick.    I’m pretty sure they tried to imitate a gunfight from a western. 

Turles gets consumed by the Spirit Bomb, and it drives him up through the trunk of the Tree of Might.   Really, this makes a lot of sense as a finale.   Turles’ trump card was to eat one piece of fruit from the tree, but Goku drew power from all of the fruit, so naturally his Spirit Bomb would be stronger than anything Turles could handle.   And it’s an elegant solution to the problem posed by the tree.   It was completely invulnerable to Goku’s own power, so he ended up using the Tree of Might’s own energy against itself.

All of this causes the Tree to glow yellow and disintigrate into sparkles of light, which rejuvenate all life on Earth.

So this dying deer is okay again, and presumably so is everything else.

Later, everyone celebrates with another camping trip.    Launch got snubbed again.

Oolong tries to praise Icarus for his role in the battle, but Icarus nearly bites him.

And Piccolo sort of chills out by a waterfall somewhere, and that’s the end of the movie.   

So it’s a pretty decent entry in the movie series, but I find it to be a mixed bag.   The highlights are things that don’t quite get developed enough.   Yeah, you have Turles, Great Ape Gohan, Yamcha, Tien, and Chiaotzu, but for my money, merely having those things in the movie isn’t enough.    It’s what you do with them that counts.    I find it particularly frustrating that the Dragon Ball Wiki has all this lore on Turles’ gang, but none of it ever made it into the movie itself, which is their only appearance.    What’s the point in having a backstory for Daiz if it never comes up anywhere?     His entire character arc was blowing up Yamcha’s car, and then getting decked by Goku. 

Still, if you like Spirit Bombs, this is one of the best Spirit Bomb finishes ever.    And the Tree of Might is a pretty cool idea.   And the visuals are a big step up from World’s Strongest.   

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modern!au is a CONCEPT. bless y'all. could u do some hcs for modern! roxas, ventus, vanitas, xion, and sora + having a disney marathon w/ their s/o? like what movies they pick, do they sing along, r there snuggles, what snacks are brought, etc. (pls feel free to add any other details u want. i love lil details.) (this might've sent once already, my page refreshed. if so, sorry!) hugs & kisses!

o this is such a wholesome prompt, thanks for sending it !

Sora : 

You’re looking at the Disney King himself. He knows a shit ton of movies and almost every song in existence so you bet your ass he’s gonna sing. And you’ll probably tag along too, his enthusiasm is just so contagious - hell, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the lyrics, just sing whatever you want to the rhythm of the song with him ! 

He’ll b e g you to watch Big Hero Six and the Lion King movies with him. After that, you can choose anything you want but just p l e a s e let him watch those, they’re his absolute favorites. Also, remember to keep some napkins around cause Sora will cry no matter the movie, the messages just hit d e e p and he’s just a softie. Just snuggle with him for a bit and pat his back while he just stutters about how cool the movies were, he’ll eventually stop with the waterworks. 

You know what ? Sora probably has a lot of Disney merch. If you guys are having a disney marathon, you’re gonna do it properly. He won’t hesitate to prepare his entire house just for this movie night - building a pillow fort in the living room so you two can chill comfortably, hoarding a lot of snacks and like a thousand popcorn bags, wearing his Stitch onesie (and probably lending you his Winnie the Pooh onesie if you’re up for it !) 

Like the whole concept could feel childish, but not to Sora ! He grew up with Disney and he holds those movies very dear to his heart, so he’d be so happy to know that you’re willing to pull an all-nighter with him ! You’re never too old to enjoy these things.

You know Sora would suggest inviting absolutely everyone, but he won’t complain if you wish for a more intimate date. That’s fine with him too ! The two of you would have such a fun time and then pass out in the pillow fort at like 4 am. 

Vanitas : 

You know those people who are like “Pffft, Disney is overrated” ? That’s Vanitas right there. The guy looks like he’s fueled by kicking puppies and being a generally mean jerk - but you know better than that. Vanitas has zero knowledge about Disney cause he was never interested in cartoons as a kid so he simply assumes it’s bad. It’s up to you to show him the real deal.

At first he’d be against the idea of having a marathon. The guy can barely pay attention to class or hold a normal conversation and you want him to just sit there and watch movies ? U n b e l i e v a b l e. Are you singing ? Please stop, no singing allowed in this house, no he doesn't want to be part of your world, plEASE SPARE HIM - Accepts in the end just to avoid doing homework. He’d let you pick whatever movie you want, but if he were to choose, he’d probably go with the Lady and the Tramp, Treasure Planet or any Pirates of the Caribbean movie. 

No one will be able to wipe off that shit eating grin off your face after seeing Vanitas go from constantly talking over the movie, critizicing everything, teasing you for being so childish to just being dead silent, completely absorbed in whatever movie you two decide to watch. Feel free to catch him off guard with a smooch here, he’ll probably have a hard time processing what the fuck you just did cause holy shit did you see Hercules beat Hades' ass?

If you introduce Vanitas to the whole conspiracy theory about all Disney movies being related, you better be ready for 3 hours of him just rambling about the posibilities. Now THAT’s something that interests him. The movies would just be background noise as you two just talk away into the night, probably in the kitchen while preparing some weird food combination cause you two ran out of snacks. 

If you expect Vanitas to admit that he was wrong and that Disney was, in fact, something pretty cool then you better sit down, honey. The closest thing you’ll get is him just stubbornly saying that “he wouldn’t mind spending more time with you, watching movies for kids.” 

Ventus : 

Ventus is a casual fan. The type that just knows the old 2D princess classics because he grew up with them, but just slowly lost track of what the hell Disney was doing. Like he probably didn't even get to see the Princess and the Frog - But's all good cause he's eager to see your favorite Disney movies !

If you make him choose a movie to watch, he'd go with the safe choices. Stuff that he knows like Snow White, the Little Mermaid and Cinderella. I can see him loving Pocahontas, Moana and the Three Musketeers, though.

If you want to pull an all nighter to watch as many classics as you can, he won't stop you and he'll try to stay awake with you (and pass out a little after midnight, lmao) - but he'd insist on taking breaks cause looking at a screen for over 6 hours straight can't be h e a l t h y.

Ventus would gladly cuddle and snuggle with you - and he'd also love to sing along, but the poor dude doesn't really know any of the lyrics. Solution ? Just put on those good subtitles and there you go ! He'd love to sing Aladdin's A Whole New World with you or just any duet. You two would get so into it that your neighbours would propably have to knock on the walls a few times so you'll lower your volume.

If you ever mention your favorite (s) disney character(s), you can totally expect Ventus to show up one day unnanounced with a plushie of them, just for you. Consider this his way of saying thanks ! And also apologize for passing out so early - he'll make up for that inviting you to yet another movie night with him.

Roxas :

Another casual fan, but the complete opposite of Ventus. Roxas never got into 2D Disney as a kid and he's more into the 3D additions like Brave, Coco or Frankenweenie. He's also that type of controversial fan who actually enjoyed the liveaction remakes of the old classics.

But don't get him wrong, he's still a r u t h l e s s critic. Roxas gets bored pretty quickly with movies that have such obvious and bland plots and twists that he can see them coming from a mile away. I see him being more of a Pixar fan, just quoting Shrek in his usual deadpan voice on a daily basis. Roxas' brain in a 1000 heartless fight : "and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they-"

If you want to watch movies with him, prepare to discover Roxas' more sassy side - the guy just can't hold back all these funny remarks and jabs at Disney Fairy Tale Logic™. "Oh good for you Gaston, trying to send your crush's father to a psychiatric ward just so she can pay attention to you is SUCH a powermove. You should've dated Lefou instead -" "Do you think Ariel's daughter was born with a mermaid tail or legs? Imagine the monstrosity -".

In the end you two wouldn't even pay attention to the actual movies, since you'd be too busy mocking and impersonating every character and just rolling on the floor laughing your asses off. Your snapchat and instagram stories would be filled with videos of each other doing dumb stuff, calling out all the tiny mistakes as if you two were CinemaSins.

In the end, this Disney Marathon would just turn into a weekly movie night where you two just watch everything and anything. Sometimes it's fun and goofy, and sometimes you two actually get into the plot and discuss all the h i d d e n lore. Roxas would feel super special to have this little new tradition with you.

Xion :

Xion is the definition of a Disney Princess. She absolutely loves every princess movie and you bet your ass she screamed when all of them appeared in full 3D during Ralph breaks the Internet. Like she's a natural romantic and a dreamer at heart, so all the fairy tales just get to her, always tearing up during the climax of the movies.

Ironically, most of her favorite Disney movies aren't princess related : Aristocats, Peter Pan, Tangled and Brother Bear. Xion is that type of person who just points out all the similarities between her friends and the characters. Like Kenai and Kods's bond remind her of her and Roxas' friendship with Axel, Saix reminds her of Randall from Monsters Inc, Kairi is totally Lilo and Aqua is Nani - You get the idea !

Even if you suggested the idea of a Disney Marathon, Xion would just plan the best course of action and take the lead almost immediately. She's just so excited to be able to spend this night with you that she wants to make the most of it ! Snacks ? Check. Netflix and other sites to see movies ? Check. A shit ton of blankets and hot cocoa ? Check. The perfect partner ? Check.

Xion would do her best to not break out into fullblown singing - mostly out of respect for her roommates and neighbours, but you'll definitely hear her hum along and mutter the lyrics under her breath. And if the song is catchy enough, she'd love to pull you in for a dance !

At the end of the night, you two would be exhausted but content. Probably giving up on seeing all the movies, just listening to a disney playlist on Youtube while you two do stupid and silly Buzzfeed quizzes like "What Disney villain are you based on your aesthetics" and such. Xion has trouble sleeping, so you'll most likely end up falling asleep on her first. She'll stay awake till sunrise, taking a few sneaky selfies with you peacefully sleeping by her side.