#almost like i'm making up for the radio silence these last few months (and week but i was a lil too busy with exams ya know the drill :'D)

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

i am so normal about him he's my family he's my friend my bestie he hates me and i hate him so much<3333 (lies i could never hate this man :'Dc)

Colours of love!!!

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Could you believe that we are on total of 21 pages for this comic? (counting all three stories) And yet here we are! This page is 20th and the next one is already on my patreon uwu. I am happy about how this page turned out, but also realizing that Ccino's sweater is probably too dark, but whoops to late to change anything, maybe in future pages I'm gonna fix it.

• Support me on Patreon! •

Just in case you didn’t know - this story is inspired by @zu-is-here , @help-im-a-gay-fish @yuriyuruandyuraart and some other people, and is about what if all characters we know are just actors playing their roles in some kind of TV shows. The names are the same, but personality can be different.

[nolita-fairytale]

did you ever end up writing the phone call blurb?? i am STRUGGLING to find it and im so desperate 😭😭😭

called you again (extended)

a/n: ok so i never got to writing the actual phone call that transpires between carmy and reader, that gets her to chicago in the first place. and if i recall correctly, @cool-girl-is-hot was also patiently awaiting this phone call. since i'm doing the follower celebration, what a perfect time for me to bring this back, @bunnywritesmarvel.

You answer the call before you can talk yourself out of it, immediately putting it on speaker. 

“Hi,” you say, your voice shaking a little. 

And it’s as if a fog clears, like you've been waiting to hear it for a long time.

“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft, yet hesitant.

You're met with a long silence on the end of the other line as the two of you dance around whatever it is Carmy called to say. There's a part of you that wants nothing more than to spill everything, lead the conversation like you always do, but after months of radio silence, you know you can't do that. If Carmy wants to reconnect, then he's got a whole of groveling to do considering he pretty much ghosted you since he moved back home.

"I uh. I heard," he finally says, in reference to your recent change of employment.

"Oh," you sound, your voice higher in pitch than you imagined it would be as you scramble to find a better word than 'oh.' "I... um. Yeah. My heart wasn't in it anymore."

What you want to say is, my heart moved to Chicago and forgot how his fucking phone works.

"Yeah," Carmy replies, and you can practically hear him pacing back and forth as he searches for something to say.

You share another silence, this one much more tense than the last, like a hot pot of water about to blow its lid off in pressure, as you wait for him to ask you something -- anything. How hard could it be?

How are you? What's been going on? Sorry I haven't called.

But he doesn't say anything of these things. Instead, when he finally speaks again, all he says is:

"So listen. I uh-, I got this guy. He’s- he’s self taught but he’s got a lot of potential,” Carmy explains, his delivery becoming more and more confident as he hides behind the work.

“He just needs a good teacher – someone to inspire him – give him some of the foundations he would’ve gotten in culinary school. I think uh, I think you'd like him.

So after four months of no contact he... needs something from you? You can't help the feelings of anger and disappointment that grow inside of you.

Was he upset that you quit the restaurant -- here to talk you into going back -- now that he needed a favor? A stage?

“Just for a week, maybe?" Carmy suggests, his voice going up at the end, almost as if it's a question.

"I can’t pay you much but uh, well we’ve got a little money, which is a whole other story, and I can talk to my brother-in-law. He can put you up somewhere… you know… if you want to. If that helps.” 

Oh.

He's asking you to come to Chicago.

While it feels like it changes things, you're still ambivalent and you certainly don't want to get your hopes up.

"Carmy..." you trail off on an exhale. "I don't know."

"Sure," Carmy nods, chewing on his lip, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious about asking you in the first place.

He wants to take it all back, tell you it was a stupid idea, and apologize for even saying something in the first place. But he doesn't. He can't. Because after working himself up to call you for the last few hours, there's no way he's going to back out now.

Let it rip, Bear.

"I uh... well, I understand. If can't-. Don't want to. Maybe I shouldn't've uh..." Carmy stammers through, the heat rising to his cheeks.

"It's just uh. Tim told me... you might be looking for some inspiration."

Right.

You pause before asking:

"Can I... Can I think about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sure," Carmy is quick to answer, because he really wants to make this okay for you.

For the both of you.

And because hearing your voice for the first time in four months feels better than he ever could've imagined.

"Okay. I'll uh... I'll think about it," you drag out, because you know you'll need some time to process this.

"Listen, I uh. I'm late to meet Liz. But I'll let you know. Either way."

"Yeah, okay. Okay," he answers, nodding eagerly.

"Okay," you reply, listening to Carmy bid you a soft spoken goodbye before ending the call.

"Holy shit," you hiss, putting your phone down on the table, your hand folded over your heart as you can feel it race.

Well, you've got quite the decision to make.

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XIV

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is a mention of reader being injured, and I guess everyone is ooc here, but thank you for bearing with me.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII

----------------------

A week. Seven full days of silence. When was the last time you had gone this long without any contact with Satoru?

No calls. No messages. Not even a glimpse of him. You had learned from Ijichi that he had been sent on a mission to a distant part of the country just a couple days ago. In other words, there was nowhere to see him.

Initially, it had been a relief. After he left on that fateful night, and you allowed your feelings out. It was only then that it hit you: you had never cried over his rejection. It had hurt, and you had grieved in some way, but maybe by immediately pretending it had never happened, you had prevented yourself from accepting heartbreak.

The truth was just too scary to accept, so you had told Satoru the same lies you had been telling yourself for the past months. ‘It was just a crush’, ‘It has passed’, ‘I’m over it’.

“Liar,” you muttered to your own reflection on the bathroom mirror. Dark bags were starting to form under the eyes that returned your gaze.

Your back was sore and your sleep had not been the best during the last few days.

At first, you had been upset with Satoru, and then upset with yourself for not being able to just dodge the hit and play it cool.

Satoru must have known how much of an unpleasant memory it was for you. Why did he have to bring up the rejection again?

He was not that dense, and neither were you. Your friendship had often felt as both of you stepping right on the line between friends and lovers. Sometimes one of you would lose balance and almost fall on either side of it. Even if both of you denied it, none of you had a similar relationship with anyone else. Still, you believed he had given you the definitive push the day he rejected you.

If he could not feel the same, you could respect that. In fact, you had vowed to just forget it. But why did he have to kiss you while being aware of the hold he had on you?

It’s probably nothing to him, that’s why.

You remembered what Shoko had told you once.

“He is a bit selfish when it comes to you,” Shoko said softly, putting her head on your shoulder.

It must have been summer with how hot it was, and you could see droplets of sweat forming on Shoko’s forehead. You and she were sitting on a bench, outside of a convenience store. She had sent Geto and Gojo for drinks inside.

Satoru had initially said that Shoko and Suguru should go, but Ieiri had refused, saying she was getting a heatstroke and needed to sit down, with you to keep her company. Gojo rolled his eyes but let Suguru pulled him into the store anyway.

“Are you really feeling unwell?”

She only smiled.

At the beginning of your friendship with Suguru and Shoko, Satoru had wanted for all of you to get along, but he was not particularly appreciative of you spending too much time with either of them without him. He had loosened up quickly, though, but Shoko and Suguru were an exception. If he could keep you by his side, he would.

He could not take it back. All he had said and done; all the ways he made it look like there was more to it when there was not.

He can’t take any of it back, and neither can I. Paying it no mind is not going to solve it either.

You looked at your phone. You had sent Satoru a message earlier, just to make sure he was okay. Not that you should worry; he was strong, and if the world had not yet collapsed under curses, he was probably still alive. However, it was not like him to stay away from you this long with nothing but radio silence in between.

I guess I did kick him out, so I can’t blame him.

You washed your face and went to bed, not bothering to take your phone back to the bedroom. You needed to sleep, and the only person you cared to chat with at the moment had not even read your message.

***

“Okay, this one is it. Just try it out.” Satoru patted the mattress of the queen size bed he had found at the department store you were currently at.

You sat down. “It’s… It’s okay,” you said.

To Satoru, you did not sound impressed at all. “Just okay?”

You nodded. “Comfortable.”

“Is that how you try out a mattress? Do you sleep sitting up, [name]?” he asked smiling as he laid down on the sample bed.

You looked around. None of the other clients were really looking at you, too focused on their own shopping to care, but still…

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” You directed your eyes back to Satoru.

“It’s not, and it’s the only right way to do it,” Satoru said smiling and patting the mattress again so you would lay down too, which you finally did.

“And?” he asked.

The ceiling lights of the store were a little too bright, but if you focused only on how the mattress felt, it was indeed comfortable.

You had just signed the lease for your first apartment and getting some furniture was the next thing on your to-do list to become an independent person. Among the basics, having something to sleep on would be nice. That is how Satoru had accompanied you shopping for your first mattress.

“It’s more than okay,” you admitted.

“You should get it then.”

“How much is it, though?” Your eyes widened a bit after looking at the price, and you got up from the spot immediately. "Forget it. It's one zero too much."

I wouldn’t be surprised if they charged for just trying it.

Satoru, on the other hand, could not have looked more unbothered even if he tried. This was why going shopping with him and a budget in mind was useless.

“If this is the one you like, I would not mind…”

You shook your head. “No way. I have a budget, I just need to stick to it,” you reassured him. “Besides, this one would not even fit in my bedroom.”

Of course, he would not mind lending you money. He might not even ever ask you to pay back, but this was your quest for independence. You would rather not to lean on his resources. It was the same reason you had declined Yaga’s offer to crash at the school dorms, even though now that you were starting your teaching career there, it might have been convenient. It was going to be nice to have your own space, plus, now that all your former classmates had left, the dorms were too empty and too full of memories at the same time.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” A store clerk had spotted you and landed next to you. The woman was quick to compliment the model ‘you two’ had chosen.

Satoru had sat up and was now looking at her. When she looked at him more closely, her words halted, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks.

Right, that’s the effect he has on people.

You mentally thanked Satoru for being so good-looking that people would become speechless on his presence and allow you to speak instead.

“Actually,” you started, “this is not quite what I’m looking for.”

“Oh, well…” She seemed to have recovered from the momentary shock of first meeting Satoru’s face, “We have some other options that are preferred by couples. I will be glad to show you…”

You and Satoru shared a small smile. Another one, huh?

“We are not…” he said.

“We are friends,” you stated.

“Oh, sorry.” Her smile looked sincere, “Then is there anything you are looking for in particular?”

“Are there any… smaller options?” you asked hopeful. Maybe she had some cheaper ones too.

She nodded politely and asked you to follow her to another area of the store.

“Smaller?” Satoru had stood up to follow you. “How will we both sleep in it?” He was smirking.

You elbowed him, and he was kind enough to pretend it had hurt.

“Don’t say anything else that will confuse the lady,” you hissed and he chuckled.

That day, Satoru pretty much ended up picking your bed. It was not as big as he had wanted it, but it was comfortable enough and, to your delight, within budget. The only downside to Satoru was that it would require a bit of effort for both of you to fit in.

***

“Fancy seeing you here.” Satoru sat across from Shoko at her table in the school cafeteria.

She had decided to take a break from reviewing files at the infirmary and usually, she would not go to the cafeteria, but you had pulled her there so many times that her feet had carried her there almost automatically.

She looked at Gojo’s face. “You are back.”

“Got back last night.” He took out his phone and Shoko saw him check something on the screen and put it down on the table. Was it her imagination or he seemed tired? Tough to say without seeing his eyes, but he did have a duller aura around him right now.

Shoko raised her cup of tea to her lips and eyed Satoru’s phone.

“New phone?” she asked.

Satoru had leaned back on his chair and a adopted a more carefree expression. Even if he was a grown man, Shoko would have said he looked just the same as when they were highschoolers.

“Yeah…” It was impossible to tell, but Ieiri also thought his eyes were looking around the cafeteria, and she had a hunch on what he was searching for, or rather, who. “The other one broke down. It’s the same number, though.”

His phone had broken down three days ago, it slipped and the screen turned pitch black. It had not shut down immediately, though, and it still rang when Ijichi called him, but if he could not see the screen, it was no use keeping it.

Satoru had not really cared at first, only getting a cheap phone to communicate through the end of his mission. Ijichi had gotten a more suitable replacement ready for him when he got back, and it was only after setting it up and retrieving his backup data, that Satoru realized you had actually messaged him days ago.

Unlucky.

He had not replied yet, figuring he would see you at the school anyway and could maybe set things straight between you two. However, he had not encountered you across campus, and when he peeked at your class, your students were being looked after by a first-grade sorcerer he had seen around a few times, filling in the substitute teacher position.

He wanted to ask Shoko. “Say, Sho-”

“[name] took a couple days off,” she interrupted him while placing her cup back on the table and encircling it with both hands.

Can she read minds?

Shoko could not, but knowing Gojo, it was taking him long enough to ask about you.

"Oh."

She looked at him. “They...”

Shoko wanted to tell Satoru you had paid her a visit after one of your missions that week, but she was not sure you would have wanted Gojo to know.

Ieiri had been surprised at first when she saw you that day. A lot of blood always made it difficult to perceive at first glance how big a wound really was. After a closer inspection, she realized the injuries on your torso were not too concerning, not for someone with her abilities at least.

But if they were a regular person and I was a regular doctor, they would have probably been bed-ridden for a while, she thought.

She had had you in walking condition after a couple days, but it still bothered her. Getting injured during missions was the norm for sorcerers, especially younger ones, however, she knew you were experienced in battle. A scratch here and there was expected, but she had seen you returning more beaten up lately.

They are taking on more difficult missions, that was what she wanted to tell Gojo. She was not sure whether you were trying to get promoted or if for some reason they were actively assigning you missions above your rank.

The cup Shoko was holding was warming her hands.

A thought assaulted her mind: There is no predicting the higher-ups.

If you had upset one and now had a target on your back, Satoru could help you out, could he not?

“What is it?” Gojo tilted his head looking straight at Ieiri, or at least she felt this time he was looking at her.

“Nothing. I think they will be back tomorrow.”

Satoru had thought about visiting you, but seeing how that turned out last time, he decided to wait.

Giving you space was the right call in his experience. Usually, no matter what the problem was, you could talk it through when you both had had some time to mull it over.

But, in this case, how much time did you need?

The whole situation was like nothing you and him had faced before. Fighting over snacks or over a joke that went a step too far was one thing. The look you had given him that night and the way you called him selfish, that was completely different, and it had haunted him since he left your apartment.

Satoru grabbed his phone and finally replied to your message. He hit 'send' and offered an attempt of a smile to Shoko.

“If I asked for advice, would you give me some?”

----------------------

Note: I almost forgot my iconic note (even though I'm the only one who thinks it's iconic). And the note is... there is no note, just my love. <3

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh

[honorarysimp]

Interlude: The Diner

series masterlist

Out of everywhere in town you’ve been since you arrived two weeks ago, this is the only place you’ve truly felt safe.

The diner was a blast from the past, a relic of a time long gone. The checkered linoleum floor worn and scuffed in places, and vinyl-covered booths gave the place a retro feel, while the crackled and faded wallpaper added a touch of nostalgia.

The smell of stale coffee and fried food hung in the air, adding a distinct atmosphere to the place.

The diner was dimly lit, the fluorescent tubes above the counter casting a harsh, almost clinical light over the small space. In one corner, an old radio played quiet music, the sound barely reaching a few booths in the room.

You are currently sat in a booth towards the back, visibly exhausted beyond measure as you nurse a cup of black coffee.

Coffee is suppose to be the answer to everything, but you’ve had to reconvey your initial claim the last week.

Your phone suddenly rings loudly in the quiet diner, the sharp sound causing you to flinch, jarring and breaking the ambiance like a hammer against glass. You glance down at the screen, expression darkening as you saw the word "Mayor" flash across the display.

With a heavy exhale, you let the call ring through to voicemail. The Mayor was the last person you want to deal with at the moment. You’re frustrated and exhausted, as this investigation seems to be leading nowhere.

Why answer her when you have nothing to report? She knows where to find you if she’s that desperate for results.

You reach into your coat pocket and retrieved your tape recorder. You lay it on the worn tabletop and looked at it for a moment with a slight grimace.

You hesitate before starting the recording, the weight of your lack of progress weighing heavily on you. With a weary sigh, you hit the record button and began speaking, voice low and tired.

"It's been two weeks since I arrived here, and so far, I've got nothing. No leads, no suspects, just a whole lot of dead ends."

You continue, your voice growing more frustrated as you detail your efforts thus far.

"I've tried everything," you admit, hand running through your hair in exasperation. "Witness interviews, forensic analysis, even digging through records going back decades. But every time I think I'm onto something, it just leads nowhere."

You lean back in the booth, shoulders slouched in exhaustion. "It's like this town is intentionally keeping secrets."

You pause for a moment, expression thoughtful.

"The people here," you begin, voice a bit softer. "They're just as much victims as anyone. I've started to get to know some of them, and they're just trying to live their lives. But then there's this..."

You trail off, expression conflicted. You knew you’ve always tried to be logical and professional when it comes to your job, ruled by rationality and evidence. But this case is pushing your boundaries, forcing you to question your own beliefs.

"Maybe... maybe there's no logical explanation," you admit, voice barely a whisper “the only thing that’s consistent is the fact one person goes missing a month, but even that doesn’t make sense because it stops and starts randomly- goddamn it.”

You hit the pause button on the tape recorder, frustrated. You sit back, the silence in the diner somehow making the weight of the case even heavier.

You sat for a moment, eyes unfocused as you mull over everything that has happened in the last two weeks. The disappearances, the dead ends, the strange events... everything about this case was slowly chipping away at your certainty, your usual rational mind struggling to find footing.

You start the tape recorder again, voice weary but determined.

"The attack in the woods," you began. "I've tried to make sense of it, but it just doesn't add up. The masked figure came out of nowhere, silently and unexpectedly. The knife cut me, but there was no blood, no trace of any kind at the scene. And even after searching, there were no footprints or tracks of any kind. Nothing."

You trail off, eyes fixed on the tabletop. "It's like the assault never even happened."

You again continued, tense with disbelief. "And then there's Wes," you say, shaking your head. "He just vanishes after walking into the lake. We've searched the lake more times than I can count, and we haven't found a body. Nothing. It's like he just vanished into thin air."

Your frustration and confusion becomes more and more evident the more you spoke, the mystery of the case growing more complex with each passing moment as you verbally try to debunk it aloud. "It makes no sense," you mutter, raking a hand through your hair once more, knee bouncing in a fidget underneath the table.

You pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm your frustration. "The disappearances, the attack, the lack of any solid evidence... everything about this case just feels wrong. Like there's something bigger going on, something just out of my grasp.”

You look down at the tape recorder, brow furrowed. "But how do I solve something when I can't even see all the pieces? How do I find answers when everything I've tried leads to more questions?"

You sat slumped in the booth, gaze unfocused as you wrestle with your thoughts. "I need... I need..." you repeat in a low voice, frustration and desperation mingling in your tone.

I need a fucking cigarette.

You clench your fists, refocusing on trying to piece together the elusive clues in your mind. "I need something decisive, something concrete," you continue, eyes sweeping over the steam rising from your mug as if the answers were etched within the small bubbles resting on the liquid’s surface.

You let out a heavy sigh, the frustration etched on your face. You reach out and hit the pause button, shutting off the tape recorder.

You lean back in the booth once again, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. The weight of the case hung heavily on you, the lack of progress a crushing disappointment. Never has a case had you so in the weeds before, you should have something by now.

"I need to find something," you mutter to yourself, jaw clenched. "I can't keep spinning my fucking wheels like this."

You rest your elbows to the table for a moment, rubbing a hand over your face as if trying to scrub away the fatigue and temporary defeat. Everything about this case was getting under your skin, the lack of progress wearing on your already frayed nerves.

The Diner's bell jangled as someone entered, causing you to look up from your thoughts. Your gaze lands on Tara of all people, who had just walked in.

You register the first responder uniform she is wearing, coming to the conclusion that she must be working the night shift. Or just got off it, depending on what time it is, that of which you aren’t sure. Your eyes lingered on her for a moment, taking in her tired but determined expression.

Her head turns and you’re already meeting her gaze, a pause between you, and then you silently gesturing for her to join you. You see the hesitation on her face, the fatigue and worry that mirrored your own. But after a moment, she relents and walks over to the booth, sliding into the seat opposite you.

“Hey” you start softly, watching her take your coffee mug off the table and take a small whiff before taking a sip.

You don’t question it.

“Nothing yet on our end, you?”

You shake your head, “even if we did, I’m sure Sam would be the first one to let you know.”

Tara nods, and you both fall silent.

The one waitress that seems to be working tonight walks over, she gives you both a kind smile.

“You’re working late tonight, Cici” Tara says politely, which makes the woman laugh good naturely.

“I could say the same to you, coffee?”

“Please.”

She scribbles it down, glancing back up “and the usual?”

Another nod from Tara, which then has Cici’s gaze going to you expectantly.

“I’m still doing okay with just coffee-“

“The Detective will have what I’m having Cici, thank you” Tara cuts you off, making Cici glance between you knowingly as she jots the order down and heads off without another word.

You look to Tara and narrow your eyes, but she beats you to it before you can speak.

“I wish you’d stop making assumptions about me, you know.”

A pause, you reach across the table for your mug but she pulls it from your reach.

There’s a good chance Tara is talking about the last conversation you two had before you found Wes and Chad, but of course you’d hate to assume.

So you wait for her to continue, after a moment her expression softens slightly and she nudges your coffee mug back across the table to you.

“For what it’s worth, I’m rightfully in the same boat. Worrying certain people are only around for information, for wanting to know things rather than-“ she stops, clearing her throat.

That’s when you get it. The hot and cold.

“Look… I’ve never once been dishonest with you, I’ve got no reason to be” you start slowly, giving your still aching shoulder a little roll before reaching across the table to accept your mug back.

“But-“ you pause, as your fingers brush against hers, neither of you acknowledge it as you pull the coffee mug back to your side “unfortunately that’s the one thing I’m under contract not to tell you, which is who hired me. You already know why I’m here, and if there’s one thing I can promise you is that I’m not using you for any reason.”

She is clearly skeptical, you can tell by the way she looks at you. But you can also see that slight softness between her brow, like she wants to believe you.

You sip your coffee, sitting it to the side before placing your palms flat on the table top, “ask me anything you want, no pool games, no deals, no trades, no bullshit. And then I’ll do the same.”

That look returns, the one Tara gave you a week ago when you’d asked her out for drinks.

“You still are trying to pick my brain” Tara says with an amused tone, you offer a smile and shrug.

“I wanna know you, is that so hard to believe?” You say as you nudge your coffee mug back over to her, a silent offer.

Tara eyes you, then the mug, then you again. She’s fighting back a smile, something you’ve noticed she does a lot with you. In a way you consider it a win, because it means she’s starting to like you even when she doesn’t want to.

“Fine” she agrees, pushing the coffee mug back across the table to you before crossing her arms, “but you’re on thin ice hot shot.”

You grin, trying not to feel triumphant for finally managing to somewhat get through to her.

“First things first, what’s your favorite scary movie?”

The disapproving look Tara gives you makes you laugh harder than it should, which in return, makes her smile more than she should.

And for the first time in a while, a sense of normalcy envelops you both. It won’t last, but for now, it’s nice.

previous, next

[gayf1hoe]

Part 1

As I sit down with my bowl of cereal I begin to open my laptop and see an abundance of emails that I have ignored over the course of the past few weeks, because I've been having a full media and work detox.

As the emails load I see the latest email is from Gunther so I decide I best not ignore it otherwise if I ignore it like I did when I first joined the team he will give me a lecture about how rude it is to ignore emails. Opening it I scan it with my eyes whilst spooning my cereal into my mouth. I read that Gunther has called for a meeting for today which isn't much of a surprise given it's only a few weeks until pre-season testing and I don't even know who my teammate is. After last season I need a good teammate. Nikita was a great person but a terrible teammate. It was like Haas had only one driver driving for them because he spent half of his time spinning off the track or going into the wall so this year I need a teammate who will be able to score points alongside me.

I continue scrolling through the emails and curse myself for putting myself in this position, when people say F1 drivers just drive a car they are so wrong. They should try keeping up with all the emails and brand deals we have to do.

I finish my breakfast and quickly jump in the shower and dig out an outfit from my draws that are more than due a clear out but that's very far down on my very long to do list that never seems to be fully complete.

I double check I have everything before shutting the door to my apartment and heading to the factory where the meeting is, thankfully it isn't far away as when I joined Haas I bought an apartment close to the factory and moved.

As I approach the entrance I am handed my ID pass and make my way to Guenther's office. The building has become like a second home to me, in fact I have probably spent more time here in the past 2 years than I have at home, it's full of loads of Haas memorabilia such as the burnt Halo that saved Grosejans life, or the chassis of previous cars. Unfortunately the trophy cabinet isn't as grand or as full as Red Bull's or Ferrari's but it still displays the team's short history.

Eventually after greeting everyone who I haven't seen for a few months I reach the door of Gunther's office and confidently knock and wait for a response from within, it doesn't take long for him to say "come in".

Whilst he is my team principal he is also like a father figure to me and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss his dry humour and constant use of profane langauge over the course of the break.

I take a seat opposite him and see that there is another chair next to me so I assume someone else will be joining us shortly. We take a brief moment to catch up after the break and we discuss what we did and he asks if my swearing is under control yet. As last year every team radio and interview I almost certainly used a swear word, although I don't think he has much room to talk.

I could tell how stressed he was last year having Nikita crashing his car every 5 seconds, Dimitry threatening to pull out the Uralkali sponsor and having 2 rookies on his team was never going to be easy but I don't think he envisaged it being that hard, last year Haas managed to get 112 points all of which came from me so by the end of the year I was very burnt out and spent the entire break doing absolutely nothing.

The conversation bounces back and forth until there is a knock on the door causing silence to hit the room, Gunther goes over to the door and greets who ever is there but I can't see or hear who it is until Gunther moves out the way and motions to the chair, causing me to stand up and prepare to shake the person's hand what I didn't expect was to see that my new teammate was Carlos Sainz.

I knew Carlos was out of a seat this year, with much controversy behind it. I just never would have expected him to come to Haas, it's not that I'm unhappy with the team choosing him but he's going from one of the top teams to a team that is struggling to stay in the fight to be a midfielder.

Another reason I'm stood in silence is because well, Carlos is gorgeous there is no denying that and his natural charm makes him irresistible. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Gunther repeatedly saying my name until I turn my head towards him and he then motions with his head for me to shake his hand. I shake his hand, make eye contact with him and say hello.

We both take a seat and Gunther walks around to his side of the desk, it kind of feels like you've been called to the Principal's office, even if you know you have done nothing wrong there is always nerves in your stomach.

"So Y/N if you can't tell by now Carlos is your new teammate" Gunther says in his typical blunt tone that makes me smile.

"Yes I had gathered that much Gunther"

We spend ages talking about media and contracts but it's more focused on informing Carlos on how the team works and what the expectations are although I can only assume they are a lot lower compared to Ferrari.

We are doing pre-season testing and revealing the livery in 2 weeks time so there are a lot of things to sort out in a short period of time. But after the meeting Gunther lets us go to lunch and it provides me and Carlos with an opportunity to get to know each other. before we go into the simulator for practice.

The lunch hall is quite full as the preparations for the next season are very much in full swing and with MoneyGram being the new sponsor there is a lot to change, I wish I could say I will miss having Nikita as a teammate but his father and Uralkali made my first season and absolute nightmare constantly accusing me of having a different or better car to Mazepin, I can't even begin count how many times my car was inspected by the FIA last year.

We collect our food and head to a quiet conference room as the dining hall is flooded by engineers, designers and loads of other staff that makes it barely possible to actually hear anyone. We eventually reach a quiet conference room and place our lunch down at the table before sitting down. For the initial 10 minutes we are just sat in silence before I'm the one to ask the first question.

"So why Haas, you must have been pretty desperate for that F1 seat? I say trying to break the silence with some humour.

"No, I wanted a team that would challenge me and I thought you would make a great teammate" as he finishes his sentence I have to look down because I can feel my cheeks blushing bright red like I've just seen my high-school crush.

He has great charisma, humour and looks and he is an extremely talented driver, the polar opposite to my previous teammate so I am elated at the fact he is my team mate although I'm sure my attraction to him will at some point cause a predicament that will arouse drama for us and the team. I can't help but admire him from the opposing side of the table, I probably look obsessed right now - but maybe that's an accurate description.

Throughout lunch we get to know each other more and more. He speaks about what it was like to have Charles as a teammate and I speak about what it was like to have Nikita as a teammate and I think I win at having the more Interesting stories.

But no sooner than lunch had started we have to go and do testing in the simulator which is an all too common thing in preparing for the season however I have never been a fan of simulators I don't feel they give the proper experience and plus 20 to 30 years ago there was no such thing as simulator testing and the drivers managed just as well. Me and Carlos go to separate rooms for the simulator tests and after we have to get our seats moulded so we don't see eachother until about 5 PM when we are allowed to go back home.

Unlike Carlos I live near the factory however he still lives in Spain so he's renting a hotel room. When we meet in the lobby I suggest we go for dinner at a nearby restaurant I know well and he agrees. We both head to my Audi and take a seat, "nice car" he compliments as he buckles his seat belt. We begin driving and in typical England fashion it starts to rain and the sound of rain pelting against the metal is a sound that feels the air of silence. But eventually Carlos sparks a conversation between us that is more personal and detached from racing.

"So do you have a partner?" He asks "nope, painfully single and probably will be forever" I reply further questioning "What about you?".

"Same, still single" he replies, "but sure someone with your good looks would be able to find someone" I instantly regret saying that it sounds like I'm hitting on him and he can clearly tell that I'm embarrassed.

"No need to feel shy, I am very honoured that you think I'm good-looking" whilst his response calms me, I still can't help but feel a little embarrassed still.

Shortly after making a fool of myself we pull into the parking bay of the restaurant and step out into the rain. We hastily rush into the restaurant taking refuge from the rain and are guided to our table by the waiter I know very well.

We are sitting down at the table and the waiter comes by again, "Now Y/N will it be the usual" he says whilst placing his hand on my shoulder, Carlos quickly averts his attention away from us and back to the menu after he's finished taking our orders Carlos comments on his behaviour.

"He's very touchy don't you think, maybe he likes you"

I laugh at his comment, "please I know his mother and he's so not my type"

"Well what is your type?" He presses on.

"The complete opposite of him" I state trying to give as little away as possible.

"Anyway, what's your type?" I ask, trying to deflect.

"Well I don't have a specific type I'm open to all kinds of people" He answers and as he finishes our food comes out putting an abrupt end to that conversation.

Over the course of dinner we talk about the plans for the forthcoming weeks and what the reaction is going to be like when everyone finds out that he's going to be driving for Haas. I can't lie, I can't wait to see the out roar of disappointment when they find out Carlos Sainz, one of the best drivers on the grid is in a Haas. I bet it's an image some can't even begin to imagine.

After dinner I drive Carlos back to his hotel which isn't too far from the restaurant and as I am about to drive off he invites me in.

"Hey, do you want to come in for a glass of wine?" He asks whilst undoing his seat belt.

"I can't, I'm driving" I say.

"Well you can just stay the night", I think about it momentarily and agree to come in. I quickly park the car and walk into the hotel with Carlos.

When we reach his room he quickly digs around in his pocket and pulls out his key card and opens the door. His room is more grand and well decorated than my own apartment and it's fixtures are more extravagant than anything I had ever seen.

Carlos walks over to the mini bar and pours two glasses of red wine and hands me one as I'm walking over to take a seat. I take a moment to admire the rest of the room, and wonder where Haas found the money in the budget for such a nice hotel.

We continue talking about our F1 careers and whilst mine is only 2 seasons old his is much more interesting than mine. We also talk about our personal lives, friends, family, relationships, hobbies and soon one glass of wine turns into a whole bottle.

Whilst I'm not drunk I'm certainly a little tipsy and probably not in the right mind frame to drive or walk home so I decide to take Carlos' offer of staying the night so I quickly get changed into some shorts and a t- shirt Carlos had given me and climb into the bed. Yes it's a little weird sharing the bed with my new team mate but I have known Carlos since last year so I guess it's not that bad.

A little after I had gotten into the bed Carlos comes out of the bathroom and gets into the bed next to me and turns the TV on.

"What do you want to watch?" He asks.

"I don't mind," I respond.

Shortly after he picks a TV show I drift off to sleep and don't really remember much.

Waking up in the morning I feel a headache and a slight hangover sweep over me. I hadn't had a single alcoholic drink since the last race of the season so it hit me pretty hard.

With my eyes feeling extremely sensitive the slight slither of light that bypasses the blinds peirces into my eyes causing me to let out an audible groan that causes Carlos to wake up.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"Aside from a banging headache I should be fine" I say, pulling myself out of the bed and walking over to his table where there is a pair of sunglasses and putting them on to reduce the strain on my eyes.

I walk into the bathroom and have a shower all whilst keeping the sunglasses on my headache only seems to intensify as time passes.

I get changed in the bedroom whilst Carlos has a shower and we have to be at the factory in less than an hour so I only manage to have an apple and a glass of water for my breakfast and due to my headache I can't drive, so I entrust Carlos with my most expensive possession and pray he doesn't have an accident, but as he is an ex Ferrari driver I have faith in his competence and driving ability.

Although Carlos is a good driver I don't think he understands the speed limit is a limit and not a target and I'm sure when I go home there will be a speeding ticket in the post. However we do arrive much earlier than expected so I guess that's a positive. As we walk into the factory the smell of automotive oil is a smell that doesn't help my hangover at all.

We are left standing around for about 5 minutes before the head of Technical Engineering arrives and tells us what we are doing today, not before he questions me.

"Y/N is there a reason why you are wearing sunglasses indoors when it is winter?".

"I've got a little headache" I reply but he already knows.

"As long as your hangover doesn't impact your performance today I will look past it" he says unlocking the doors to the simulators.

Today is the day that Haas will announce that Carlos is joining the team and we have been informed we are filming a short video which will cause many people to have the shock of their lives.

3 hours of my day is spent in the simulator running through every single setting the car has and the different types of balance settings the car has. It's quite boring but it's also important.

The media manager comes by and pulls me and Carlos out to film the video and we have to do so many retakes because we can't stop laughing and I keep on saying "Uralkali Haas" instead of "MoneyGram Haas" but the final result doesn't show how many times we had to go through it.

"Hi guys my name is Y/N L/N, and I'm Carlos Sainz and we are the drivers for MoneyGram Haas F1 Team"

The team are then going to take that speech and make a promo using photos of me and Carlos in the sim and in our race suits and by 2 PM the video is out and the Internet is going wild especially the other drivers who had no idea Carlos was going to Haas.

I get a text message from George who knows about my slight crush on Carlos and says:

"Don't get too carried away" I laugh at his message and Carlos asks what I'm laughing at but I just say it's a meme, and technically I'm not lying because I am talking to the most meme-able man ever.

Over the course of the next hour the media is going absolutely berserk. They never saw this coming and quite frankly I can't blame them because I didn't either and I don't think Gunther expected Carlos to actually say yes.

Mid way through scrolling through the comments Carlos comes over and says, "I'm going out for dinner tonight with Lando, George and Alex and they told me to tell you that you are also invited" I thank him for telling me and I get back to doing some admin tasks to pass time and clear things off my extensive to-do list.

As the day progresses my hangover eases off and I manage to cope without wearing sunglasses and I vow to myself that I'm not going to drink for a few weeks, but these self promises never seem to stick.

I'm sitting in one of the conference rooms meticulously reading through emails, rules and regulation changes, and other miscellaneous things like sponsorship information. It's all quite banal and mundane but I'm in a great flow and manage to read most of the stuff that I had been tasked with so it should make Gunther and the management team very happy, last year I didn't really make an effort and didn't fully comprehend all the rules and may have accidentally touched Zhou's Rear wing in parc ferme and it was a costly mistake that resulted in me being shouted at by Gunther like a school child.

I decide that I have read enough for one day so I decide to collect my belongings and head down to the reception area to wait for Carlos. He is taking a while so I begin to pace up and down admiring the past cars that are on display showcasing the history of Haas, but eventually Carlos does turn up.

"Sorry I'm late, Gunther was lecturing me" he says sincerely.

"It's fine he does that often" I say putting my coat on and removing my keys from my pocket.

"So what restaurant are we going to?" I add.

"It's a Thai restaurant that Alex found, I'll drive if you want me to".

I think for a moment but see he clearly wants to drive so I chuck him my keys and we exit the building.

When we arrive the guys are already standing outside waiting for us and as we step out the car George is giving me his usual devilish smile that is insinuating something. We greet each other and shake hands and hug each other and they are all excited as they haven't seen each other in a few months. Despite being in F1 for a year I kept myself to myself and maintained a private life and didn't really connect with other drivers apart from George, Lance and Pierre so it's a little awkward for me as I have barely said 10 words to Lando or Alex.

We eventually head in and we are shown to our table. I try to sit next to Carlos but Lando gets there before me so I sit down in-between Alex and George.

I take this time as an opportunity to get to know Alex as we haven't really had much time to talk.

"So how's things going at Williams?" Is the first question that comes to mind but given the results of the season I can sort of make my own answer up.

"Yeah it was a tough season but we are working hard this year, anyway how are things going at Haas especially after Mazepin?"

"Going well, obviously I have a new teammate now so hopefully more points and hopefully the car spends more time on the track than in the wall".

He laughs lightly at my little dig at Nikita and then asks how I'm finding Carlos being my new teammate and I can't really think of an answer as we have only done two days of simulator testing so I can't really give a valid answer so I simply reply "it's going well, I think we get on" George hears my response and I see him pulling that grin again and I lightly hit his leg with my foot under the table causing his grin to dissipate.

Over the course of dinner Lando and Carlos are constantly touching each other and joking with one another and for some reason I feel angry, jealous?

I know I have nothing to be jealous of, it's not as if he's my boyfriend or even remotely interested in me so I have no idea why I'm feeling these feelings that are so irrational.

At one point Lando is holding on to one of Carlos' arms and I excuse myself from the table and head to the bathroom where I take a moment to just cool down and splash some water on my face. I don't intend to make an embarrassment out of myself over a guy I have only really known for 2 days. As I'm patting my face dry with the paper towel I hear the door behind me creaking open and see George enter.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"I'm fine just struggling with a hangover still" I reply.

"You know you are one of two people after Carlos and Lando is fierce competition. He won't let Carlos go that easily, but don't give up."

"I'm not after Carlos I'm after a race win and more points are the only 2 things I'm after in this world, besides relationships just get in the way" I start heading for the door and George places his hand on my shoulder.

"Believe me trying to block him out it won't work, I've seen Lando try and fail doing that. And you are teammates you are going to constantly be reminded of him"

"Thanks for the words of encouragement George" I say sarcastically before heading back to the table.

I manage to finish my meal and decide I have had enough of watching Lando fanboy over Carlos and say I'm going home and I ask Carlos for my car key.

When he asks why I'm going I say I'm just tired and he asks if I want him to drop me off but I tell him it's fine and he can stay and enjoy his evening.

As I walk out to my car and press unlock I hear someone call my name and turn to see Lando running towards me.

"Is everything alright?" I ask

"Everything is fine, just do me a favour and don't make things difficult for me and Carlos," he says.

"I'm sorry what do you mean exactly"

"Well I like him and I want to get with him at some point but I know you like him too so please let him go and settle for second best"

When he says that I become enraged and say something I probably shouldn't have.

"I guess you know a lot about being second best considering Oscar is always out qualifying you and getting more points than you, McLaren must really love you to still keep extending your contract but you will never be as good as Oscar"

"Don't be bitter Y/N it's not a good look"

During the drive home I am fueled by anger and I have gone over the speed limit a few times but at this point I don't really care, I have never been so annoyed by a single person.

I spent a year with Nikita and Dimitry Mazepin. I thought I had the patience of a Saint to deal with them, yet some McLaren driver comes along, makes a few comments and I see red.

I fumble around with my house keys before eventually finding the right one and open the door. The entire apartment is dead silent apart from the faint ticking of the clock. I throw my keys onto the small table by the front door and sit on the chair by the kitchen Island sipping on a glass of water when my phone pings and it's a message from Carlos.

'Hey Y/N me and Lando are going to a karting track tomorrow for a quadrant video. Would you like to come?"

I can't think of any excuse to get out of it so I text back "sure" despite the fact I'm completely unsure and a day with Lando and Carlos will really test my patience.

[vivianleighwishesshewasme]

The Devils Mate 2-part 5

Don't interact if under 18. Former abuse talked about, sex and underage consensual bonding.

Esme finds out they aren’t blood related*

____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

“Rosemary, come elp me.” I commanded rather than asked. The girl had been squirrely for the last few days as had my son. Tommy and I had talked on the phone last night, he said he’d found records of Rosemary and Albert. 

Rosemary was born to Albert and his wife May before she’d succumb to a fever after giving birth. Out of all the advances we were making back toward civilization I couldn’t understand why we didn’t advance in childbirth care faster. Be a priority to me but I was a woman in this fallen dirty world made of men again. 

She walked in a flowing long dress and her brown blonde tresses flowing behind her. She was very pretty. If Duke liked her, I could see them looking quite well side by side. She snaked around the other side and started helping me with folding Ruby and Charlie's clothes.

She was a mouth breather that was the only way I knew she was in the room. Her breaths were deep and frequent. 

“Tommy found out about your mum, May. I’m sorry you lost her at such a young age.”She watched me now and I saw the sadness behind them. 

“I’ve only known one mother, so I guess I'm lucky.” She said softly. I snorted, causing her to startle. I saw a small smirk creep up on the left side of her mouth. 

“She still leaves you on your own to fight your own battles and guilt trips you when you think different from er?” I laughed as she smiled brightly at me. 

“So it's not just me.” She said laughing. I liked her. She was sweet and sunny but honest. I saw a little minx in her too. 

“So, what do you like to do when you're not schooling eh?” I finished Ruby's clothes and added them to the basket. Reaching down I pulled out two more baskets. Rose’s eyes widened.

 “I have six people to look after, now nine with you three added. Laundry never stops.” I said. It really didn’t here, neuter did dishes. For as comfortable as we were financially, I wished Tommy would hire help. I hated laundry, to be fair I’d never asked him either.

Men generally had to be told things rather than be able to figure anything out on their own. 

“Ummm, I like to listen to the radio and dance. I used to sneak out to the dance hall once a week in Pickford when dad was there on business. I think he knew but he never told me. He kept inviting me out on Saturday nights so….” Her sweet voice trailed off as she blushed and buried her head in the clothes. I nodded my head and smiled. I loved dancing too. I’m glad she was doing little things for herself. 

“I’m impressed, we may not be blood but we definitely are related. Sneaking out to dance and meet boys.” My eyes glittered at her as she laughed and continued to bury her face embarrassed. It was cute. We continued to fold the silence quietly but not uncomfortably so. It was nice to have help. Finne and Duke were boys so Tommy kept them busy with “men’s work,” not that the great Tommy Shelby didn’t help me, he always did when he was here. Ruby and Charlie were young and did chores on the weekends when not at school. 

“Duke seems nice.” She said it so quietly like she was trying to whisper it. I almost missed her statement. Crimson flushes dotted her cheeks and neck. She liked him. We’ll at least physically. He rarely spoke and I knew he’d been hiding out away from her. 

“Tommy and I agreed before he left, what you two decided is between you. We don't want to get involved unless you have questions.” I watched the younger girl's face fall a bit. Did she have questions? Did she think we don’t like her because we both did. 

“Tommy and I think you are a good match, don’t expect Duke to come round anytime soon though. I don’t want to discourage you but he's out working with his da, could be two bloody months before I see them.” I watched her face like a hawk. She was actually disappointed. Good, If Duke decided he liked her, she’d wait for him and also understand what it was like to love a working man. They traveled a lot or worked extremely long hours. She’d have things to think about. 

 Duke was uncertain if he wanted to mate at all or even ever Marry. When they approached him the night before Tommy left, he made it known that he really liked to be by himself and he didn’t want kids, ever. He seemed to acknowledge that he may end up alone but seemed content to think about Rosemary at least. 

Truth be told Esme and Tommy hadn’t met until they were well into their twenties. It was an easy decision for her. She wanted him and wanted a baby. He did too. They weren’t kids trying to make adult decisions about mates, marriage or life right away. 

“I like crocheting and embroidery.” Rosemary pulled Esme out of her thoughts and back into a more comfortable conversation. 

“I knit because I have to with the way these kids outgrow their bloody clothes.” Esme said irritatedly. She loved her babies but they grew so rapidly, she had to do something. A tailor every year was too expensive even passing things down from child to child. 

“Oh, I like horses. Do you ride? I saw Tommy and Duke had some in the barn by the house.  Mom says I cant because, well you know.” I rolled my eyes, oh I knew what she was saying. Because God forbid she be unable on her marriage bed to prove she was a virgin. Honestly this world wasn’t too different from the old one depending on your parents. 

“I’ll take you. She’s gone today to some women's retreat thing with er church. Won't be back until dark.” I winked at her. It was nice to have a girl around to corrupt and talk to. Ruby was sweet but everything was candy, school and animals. 

“We can walk the trail and I’ll show you where I met Tommy by the creek and we’ll picnic after the kids get out.” I watched her whole face light up. I really needed a female friend. Rosemary was sweet but probably wouldn’t be sticking around much longer. 

“I'd love that.” She said folding a little faster.

“It’s not a bloody race, slow down.” We giggled. I hope at some point Duke picked her. 

_______________Tommy’s pov________________________________

I hadn’t been too surprised when Duke said he wanted to come with us. I knew after our little family talked with him, he wanted to clear his head so I invited him out to the city to help me with the factory restlessness. He seemed more willing to do what was necessary than Finn who wanted his creature comforts. 

I’d already told Finn what I expected of him, but I didn’t mention Duke. Honestly, I wasn't sure where to put him. It surprised me when he volunteered to drive a truck and deliver a shipment. He’d asked me a few questions, smart questions and was off. 

When I spoke to Esme tomorrow, I’d let her know that I'd offer Duke a position or offer to help him figure out what he wanted to do and lend him the money. He was showing promise. God knows I needed that from one male family member. 

Polly's son Michael held down the fort on some of our business when we came home. 

With Declan being fixed now, I could afford to stay and deal with the issues here. 

[secretadmirations06]

This is a short story I had to write for a personal response to text for English (well I got to decide between an essay or not so I chose short story). It’s a story I completely made up based off of the picture above ‘Like Son’ by Robert Gawthmey. I wanted to share it :)

I also listened to this song over a few times while writing if y’all wanted to listen to it while reading

WARNINGS: mentions of a passed parent if that is a hard subject for you

Why can’t you hear me?

Deafening silence filled my father’s study as he shrunk down in his seat. He knew I was right, he knew what he’s done, my father was merely oblivious to it and I finally had the courage to speak up. It took him 7 weeks, almost two whole months, for him to recognize how broken I was too, he wasn’t the only one who lost her, and it was only because I was sitting here now with hot tears running down my face begging for him to hear me. I couldn’t do this alone anymore, I’m not strong enough for this. Ever since the accident, the day our world came crashing down, my father had completely shut out everything and everyone, leaving me the weight of keeping it all together. That day turned into a nightmare that plays on repeat in my head, no matter how hard I try, it just won’t go away.

It was a calm Monday morning, I had woken up earlier than usual to watch the sunrise with my mother, it had become a weekly ritual she insisted we all do to welcome the new coming week. She always created an essence of beauty in everything she did, my father often stated it was one of the many reasons he fell in love with her. I remember this sunrise being one of the most colourful ones I ever witnessed. I looked over at my mother seeing a sparkle in her eyes as she watched the new day form in front of her, while my father took endless amounts of pictures to capture the moment so it would last forever. At the time, it hadn’t occurred to me just how special this moment really was, I was more focused on how tired I was. She left the house later that day to buy some groceries to make her favourite pot roast for dinner while father and I played a few rounds of cards. I had almost finally won a round when the house phone rang. The news I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Everything seemed to turn dark that day, we lost our light, how was I supposed to move on? There was no more joy in our household, her loud giggles wouldn’t be heard when my father came up with a terrible joke, I wouldn’t come home from school to hear her singing along softly to the radio, she wouldn’t be pulling me out of bed with a bright smile to welcome the new week anymore. Suddenly, all of those became past memories, it physically pained me to imagine any of it without her. It’s been almost two months, father lost his job, he only ever moves from his and mother’s bed to his study, otherwise I rarely saw him anymore. Most of the time I was alone, not a person to talk to. I'm sure my father has heard me crying myself to sleep some nights but chose to ignore it so he wouldn’t have to face it with me. He didn't even realize that I had been flunking in school either, I can’t remember the last time I showed up, I couldn’t, I had to take over at home because it was just us now. I got two part-time jobs while also balancing school work and grief. I taught myself how to do the taxes, I did the grocery shopping and the cleaning, I made sure my father and I got taken care of because if I didn't, who would? I was so exhausted and he was unbeknownst to it all, he had no clue of the stress he was putting me through. I've tried to talk to him but he just doesn’t hear me. He refused to do anything but dwell on something we have no control over anymore and the pressure was too much for me now. I missed my mother as well and I needed this man to be my father again. He sat there with guilt ridden all over his face, saying nothing, I don’t think he even knew what he could say after everything.

So here we are, sitting in our field on an early Monday morning, my father had walked into my room and insisted I get up with him. Tears pricked my eyes as we welcomed a new week into our lives. I couldn’t help but smile as I took in all the beautiful colours, the air falling to a peaceful silence as I looked over at my father who had that same sparkle in his eyes my mother once had. I understood him through the silence, it was going to be alright. He had finally heard me.

[quirkyqueenbanana]

HELP: is he playing me or is it just cultural difference???

I(22/f)met J(26/m) on Bumble. We matched with each other and had few conversations on the app, and he seemed pretty nice. He said it was his last night in town and would fly back to Korea the next day, so he was asking if I'd like to meet him and have some drinks.

I live in the suburban area of the city and to get where he was, I needed to take an hour and a half taxi ride and would cost me unnecessary expense, especially since we just met and I have not enough reason to meet up with him. I told him such and said that as a student I'm on a tight budget. He said he'll pay for my taxi and it's just cheap to him. So I ran out of excuses and just called a cab.

We agreed to meet in front of his hotel, and I literally was ready to bolt if he ended up being a catfish. He went down and he was the real person from the pictures so it made me relax a bit. We went for a bit of a walk and realised the the bar street/area is quite far from his hotel and would take another taxi again so he proposed to just have drinks in his room. I was still cautious but I didn't get any weird vibes from him so I agreed. We stopped by the convenience store and even if he was foreign to the payment system and didn't know the language (Chinese), he was adamant about not letting me pay. So he paid for everything and went back to his hotel room.

I was a bit awkward at first and just asked "so what do you usually do here" and I meant in the hotel during his free time, but I guess he interpreted it as what he's doing in town, so he proceeded to show me his business plans and everything. We got to talking about a lot of things, even went to deeper topics and established a really good rapport. Turns out we had the same values and are mutually kind of starting to be interested with one another.

As the night goes deeper, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping with each other and cuddled the whole night. In the morning I went with him to the airport (I needed to pick up a friend anyway) and he was very sweet to me. He left and we chatted every single day for almost two months. He said he had an exhibition in town in two months' time and we were looking forward to meeting each other again. He would send me photos of his family, his work, update me where he was. Although he would reply really late, hours after I sent him a reply, and a lot of times during the week his replies would just be twice or thrice a day, I just thought it was because he was really busy and didn't fuss about it.

When his birthday came, I asked help from a friend of mine to buy a cake for me and send it to J's address in Korea. J was really surprised and couldn't believe that I would send a gift this far away.

My birthday was a week later. He didn't remember.

I wasn't expecting him to make a grand gesture but I thought I'd at least get a happy birthday greeting. Nothing.

A week before he was slated to come to town, he said something came up and wouldn't be able to make it anymore. I was really disappointed and just sent a dry reply. He never got back to me after that. I waited a couple days but the guy ghosted me for another two months, and I didn't send him any messages as well. BUT I'd often see him watch my Instagram stories.

When I went to Korea with some friends (it was pre planned before I met the guy) for the summer, I knew he knew that I was there (he was still watching my stories) but still never reached out. It was radio silence on his end.

One night I got really tipsy and sent him a drunken message saying I don't like him and that I hope he found someone new already. He replied saying he's not with anybody right now, that he's "just been busy all the time" and that he "knows it's awkward and couldn't find the right time to send a message" and that he's "sorry for that" and that he saw I was in Korea and "hoped I was having a great time". At the time I thought it was just excuses on top of excuses and pissed me off even more. I just replied with "being busy is not an excuse when you really like somebody" and "I just hoped you'd be more communicative about your intentions". He just apologised again.

We didn't talk much after that and the days after that, nothing again. Maybe I expected that if the reason he wasn't messaging me was because of long-distance, surely he'd at least want to grab coffee now that we're both in the same town? But nothing. He just continued watching my Instagram stories and never texted me again.

Two days before I flew back, I sent him another message: "왜그래요? 날 안좋아하시면 insta story를 보지마요 (Why are you like this? If you don't like me please don't watch my stories)"

I wanted to give him the choice, so that I'd at least get to know his answer without forcing it out of him. And it wouldn't pressure him. An easy way out for him.

He never replied again. But he kept watching my stories.

I'm so confused because I know that's a lot of red flags and maybe he was lovebombing me at first, reeling me in. I know if a guy really liked me he wouldn't treat me this way and would at least make things clear with me. Maybe I'm in denial. Maybe I'm holding out hope because honestly he's exactly what I wanted for my future. He told me he wanted to get married within 5 years. I didn't tell him but I wanted to get married when I'm 25/26 (I'm 22 now). We had the same values, we challenged each other intellectually, he was stable and ready to settle, and we had good physical chemistry. He studied in the UK so he was good in English and understood the Western culture. He was open enough for a Korean. So I don't know if this behaviour of his is cultural/mindset difference or he's just a narcissistic jerk who likes having someone chase after him? Is he genuine or was I played for fool?

I need advice.

[spikeisawesome456]

what happened this weeek bro????

Well, funny you should ask that, my friend! Completely unprompted and everything! 😅

Ahhh. But BOY has this week been a chore. The last two days especially. I'll put this in a read more to prevent dash clutter, because this is a LOT. -.-

Anyway. For context, I am currently getting my master's degree in Educational Counseling, to hopefully become a school counselor. My college is completely online, which is helpful in some ways, unhelpful in others. I am also an after school teacher at an elementary school, a job I've had for almost 5 years now.

So, on Monday the 3rd, almost two weeks ago, my very last grad class started. My program has us doing one class a month, instead of five classes a semester or something, so this is my only class for this month (and the next, since this is a research class/my thesis class, and is logically a bit longer).

However, instead of hearing from my new professor on the 3rd, we had radio silence for a week. This was very frustrating, since I have quite a few questions about my research project that I came up with in my last class in December (yes, my last class ended in December, I guess they didn't have this class until April for some reason. I've been doing my internship the last 3 months though, so I was fine with it), but I decided to overlook it and do the assignments, which were just to submit the assignments from the last research class I took in December, which was easy.

Then, this Monday the 10th, I finally heard from my professor. She sent everyone a few emails at 3 am (??? Why 3 am I have no idea. I bet she finally checked her email, went "OH SHOOT I HAVE CLASS" and frantically send the emails), one of which said our first zoom class was that day at 5pm. Problem is, I work until 6:00 every week day, and I didn't have nearly enough time to ask for the hour off. Plus, I was a bit pissed at my prof for not giving enough warning. I sent an email asking if she would record the class, as well as asking her my main question I had. She replied back saying that she wanted to meet up with me privately, which I said that I was amenable to, telling her my availability. She then... emailed me back (calling me KAREN, when I had said my name is KATIE VERY CLEARLY IN MY CLOSER AND MY EMAIL IS LITERALLY MY FULL NAME) saying I didn't answer her????? When I very obviously did???

Well. Whatever, it was weird, but we eventually decided to meet Friday (today) at noon. I confirmed it, she didn't, but I just hoped she'd make the meeting.

Which... she did not. I sent her an email this morning at 7:00 asking for confirmation, and she never responded??? At all??? Like... dude??????? Finally, at noon, I decided to call it a wash and went to lunch with my parents. I had left my internship early for the meeting, too, and I was honestly super pissed.

But you want to know the kicker?? The real kick in the nuts????? When I finally got to lunch and sat down at 12:50... I opened my email for funsies and saw that she had finally emailed me... AT 12:15, SAYING THAT SHE WAS WAITING IN THE CLASS ZOOM LINK THAT SHE SENT THE CLASS. THAT SHE NEVER TOLD ME WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET IN. WHAT THE HELL.

I was SO DONE at this point I wanted to scream. I have since emailed the director of the whole program, her boss, and hopefully the director will get back to me... soon. But I have a feeling I will be stuck with this moron, for my most important class. And the worst thing is, I STILL DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER TO MY QUESTION, MEANING I DON'T KNOW IF I'M WASTING MY TIME DOING THIS WEEK'S HOMEWORK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ugh.

Anyway. If you thought THAT was bad, I also found out that I'm apparently not enrolled in my second internship class, despite the fact I'm at the exact same location, with the exact same counselor as my supervisor (I have a new internship class every 200 hours apparently, needing 600 hours total). No one told me I needed to apply for each class, either. But regardless, I now have to apply to the next class, even though I just finished my last 200 hours and am now starting my next 200, but I don't even know if they will count because my school is incompetent. And on top of that, the person who is reviewing my application has no idea how to insert my birth day and SSN into the credential website to see if I am clear to work at a school. I'm just... so freaking done with this school, I HATE THEM SO MUCH AHHHHH.

AND THEN, ON TOP OF ALL THAT... At work yesterday, there was legit a NAKED MAN IN THE WINDOW OF THE HOUSE OVERLOOKING THE AREA WE HAVE THE KIDS PLAY IN EVERY DAY. AND TWO STUDENTS SAW HIM, ONE A KINDERGARTEN GIRL. AND SHE SAID SHE SAW EVERYTHING. This poor little girl... I looked to confirm there was indeed a naked man, and while I was able to look away fast enough to not see anything untoward (and the window was slightly blurred at least), I was able to confirm that he was, at least, not wearing a shirt or pants. Whether he had underwear on, I don't know, but it was still very disturbing, especially because he's been watching us for a few months now... I thought it was just some guy looking over his fence curiously at the kids outside, but now, I don't know. He definitely knew we were out there, since I am fairly certain I saw his face. My supervisor is handling this one, but I still am very creeped out by this.

Anyway, there is more, but I'm tired just writing this. I want to sleep for days, but I don't even get to rest this weekend, since I have homework THAT I DON'T KNOW WILL EVEN MATTER SINCE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO MY RESEARCH, but whatever. WHATEVER. At least the work isn't hard. It's just coming up with my questionnaire for the kids to answer. But still!!!

So, that's how my week has been going. How's yours?? :-) :-) :-)

[hellfirebarnes]

Anniversary - Eddie Munson

The groan you let out as you hauled the last bag into the car was near animalistic. And the humidity was doing nothing to help against the sweat running down your neck. The previous relief of your ponytail and the thin material of your tank top subsided. You thanked all the possible gods that you'd had the car's AC fixed a week prior.  

You latched your hands together above your head, leaning side to side to stretch your back before getting in the driver's seat. As you turned the keys, a pair of feet were slammed onto the dashboard, and you scowled at the beat-up Reeboks. Your eyes moved from the shoes up the legs and onto the face of your much too-satisfied companion. He had a lollipop hanging from his mouth that was threateningly close to falling out when he grinned at you. 

''Do you mind?'' You motion towards his shoes. ''I just had it cleaned.''

He shrugged, ''I'd take them off, but I doubt you'd be happier with the smell.''

You narrowed your eyes at him, pondering if it was worth it, but exhaled loudly through your nose and turned away from him again. ''There's only so much of your shit I'll put up with before the love I have for you isn't enough anymore.'' You started the car, pulling out of the driveway. ''See this as a formal warning.''

His robust laugh made you smile, the mask finally falling. ''You've promised to love me for the rest of your life,'' he reminded, ''don't think I'm gonna let you chicken out on that.''

''Whatever,'' you rolled your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek to contain the smile. ''Remind me why we're even going back to Hawkins? The trip there is awful, especially this time of year.''

He fiddled with the radio, sticking his tongue out and giving a triumphant ''aha'' when he got rid of the static. And when he leaned back in his seat, he rolled his head to the side to look at you. ''Anniversary, you wouldn't shut up about it all week.'' He chuckled. ''Last few months, actually. How you and Steve kept going on and on about it over the phone nearly made me gag.'' 

You shot him a glare, shaking your head disapprovingly. 

''Don't give me that look! This is all you.''

There was a few moments of silence, the radio playing softly and the breeze swooshing through the crack in Eddie's window. It was almost peaceful. Almost. 

''It's also only March, so the heat will only worsen from here.''

''Oh, shut up, Eddie!''

His laugh roared through the car, and you wanted so badly to keep from smiling, but you never could around him. 

''Do you think Harrington has gotten a haircut yet?'' he asked suddenly, a smirk on his face. ''Cause I've gotta feeling he's taken some inspiration from a certain rockstar among us.''

''Don't flatter yourself.'' You shot him a look. ''I do, however, think Robin might still be wearing that vest she made from Steve's old jean jacket.'' 

Eddie fake-gagged, making you laugh again. ''I swear that thing is gonna crawl away soon. Honestly, has she ever washed it? Splattered some water on it? Worn it in the rain!?''

''You're one to talk, Eddie, was yours ever washed?'' you countered, scrunching your nose at the memory of his battle vest and everything it went through. 

''Mine was perfectly fine and good until Harrington bled all over it!'' he pouted, crossing his arms like a child. ''I still mourn it every single day.''

''Don't we all,'' you mumbled, more to yourself.

You could've sworn the ride was going perfectly. The AC, in combination with open windows, made the heat bearable, and the roads were close to empty. It made you wonder when something was gonna go wrong, waiting it out impatiently. 

''What song is this?'' Eddie said suddenly, and when you looked over at him, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes trained on the radio. 

''What'd you mean? It's Metallica.''

His eyes remained on the radio, not even flinching. ''I can hear that, but what's the song?''

''Uh...'' you racked your brain, trying to remember the name, ''Harvester of Sorrow, I think?'' You gave him another look, chuckling at his confused face. ''I was released last summer; you can't possibly tell me you haven't heard it?''

''Huh,'' he leaned back in his seat, shrugging, ''guess I must've missed it.''

Your eyes widened, flicking between him and the road repeatedly. ''You, Eddie Munson, missed a Metallica song?''

He rolled his eyes at you, shrugging again, ''I, Eddie Munson, missed a lot of things.'' His finger pointed out the windshield. ''Now, I know I'm pretty, but you're gonna have to watch the road a bit more.''

You swatted to make him put the hand down, making him laugh again. ''Don't flatter yourself.''

''Don't have to when I've got you to do it for me.''

''Oh, shut up, will ya?'' 

The final four hours before stopping at a motel consisted mainly of guessing games made up by Eddie that half of the time didn't make sense. But his confusion was worse than yours, which made it easier to convince him you repeatedly won until he decided to change to a different set of rules. 

But as you put the car in park and watched him bounce out of it, his hair falling out from the bun he'd made a couple of hours ago, a single thought kept gnawing at the back of your head. He missed a lot of things.

Mere seconds after you'd paid for the room, Eddie snorted in your ear from behind you. You tried to ignore him, picking up your backpack and going to the room with him hot on your heel.

''Did you see that?'' he laughed, throwing himself on the bed. ''The guy upfront totally had a thing for you.''

''That's disgusting, Eddie, don't say that.'' You frowned. ''I'm taking a shower.''

''Hot.''

''Shut up.''

A couple of hours later, you'd had a questionable burger for dinner and were tucked into bed. Which was surprisingly comfortable for a motel, and you made a mental note to go here for the ride home too. 

And when you turned, you were met by Eddie's smiling face. His hair was sprawled out on the pillow, and the covers were tucked snuggly under his arms. 

''You're gonna stink them up with your pits.'' 

''Don't be mean, or I'm gonna cry.''

You shook your head, pulling up the covers to hide your smile. And you thought to yourself how you'd be willing to give anything and everything to have moments like this forever. 

''What're your hopes for this year's anniversary?'' he asked quietly, still looking at you. ''It's already three years. Do you think things will be different?''

''Partially,'' you whispered back, looking down at his ink-covered arm resting on the white covers. ''But things are always gonna be different, ya know?'' 

He nodded, chewing on his lip. ''The sheep are graduating this year. Crazy.'' 

You laughed, ''I was worried they'd take after you too much; it's good to see they didn't.'' His laugh flooded your ears, widening your smile. ''I'm excited to see them in those ugly caps.'' 

''You're just bitter because you looked awful in it,'' he shot back with a smirk. ''I'm sure Henderson will make it look cool.''

''Are we thinking about the same Henderson here? He'll probably have a Hellfire logo sewn onto it.''

Eddie gasped excitedly. ''You really think he'd do that?''

The two of you laughed, simultaneously realizing he probably would. And you wouldn't admit it out loud, but that thought was sweet to you. He would likely have it on his gown, too, pissing off the jocks and the principal further, knowing they couldn't say anything about it anymore. 

''Are you nervous?'' Eddie's voice brought you out of the visualization of Dustin on stage, covered in Hellfire. 

''Yeah,'' you took a deep breath, ''I always am.'' 

''Who are you gonna visit first when you get there?''

''Probably Steve,'' you said, moving onto your back. ''He's been stressing about this more than me. And I haven't seen him in nearly a year.''

Eddie nodded, moving closer to you. ''Just a few more hours.''

You looked at him again, enjoying the image of him cuddling up next to you in bed. And you hoped it wouldn't fade from your memory as you fell asleep to the sound of his soft snores. 

The setback eventually happened in the third hour of the next day. Your car whined and groaned, and you barely had time to pull over to the side before it broke down completely. So now you had your head ducked under the hood, trying to figure out what was wrong. 

''I wouldn't complain if you wanted to offer some wisdom,'' you called out to Eddie over your shoulder. 

He plucked the cigarette from his mouth, grinning through the exhaled smoke. ''Honestly, babe, there's nothing I can say that won't just be repeating things I've taught you before.''

You grumbled under your breath, cursing him for being a know-it-all. ''A little refreshing of the memory hasn't hurt anyone.'' 

''There's nothing wrong with that memory of yours,'' he countered, ''you just didn't listen to me.''

You gasped, flinging around to look at him with your hands on your hips. ''I listened to you plenty, Munson! It's not my fault that mouth of yours never stopped moving.'' 

''Yeah, yeah,'' he moved closer to you, ''didn't really make you complain before.'' 

''I hate you.''

''You could never.'' 

Fourty-five minutes and a handful of miracles (that Eddie took credit for) later, the car was up and running again. It should've made you happy knowing Hawkins was nearing, but it formed a familiar knot in your stomach. This was the third anniversary, but no matter how many years passed, you still didn't know how to handle it, and no one seemed to know. So yeah, you made unnecessary stops to drag it out, but who would call you out on it? No one. Because they were most definitely all doing the same as you - trying to win more time to settle your thoughts. 

Eventually, you got to the first bumpy part of the road where one of the cracks had been. But the chill running down your spine had told you Hawkins was right around the corner long before the attempted fixed road did. 

You glanced over at Eddie, who had gotten very quiet, and his eyes were trained out the window. But he still sensed your uncertainty and spoke, ''Isn't it crazy how nothing and everything has changed about this place?'' 

''I'm not sure if it's the place or the people that's changed,'' you said, slowing down the car when you got to a rougher part of the road. ''The best ones left too soon, y'know.''

This made him look at you, grinning. ''Are you trying to flatter yourself or me?''

You hummed, ''Why not both?'' 

''Well, that just wouldn't make sense, sweetheart.'' 

You laughed at him, shaking your head. ''Most things don't.''

Twenty minutes later, you were parked at the gas station, smoking a cigarette to calm your nerves. Eddie was sitting on the car's hood, and you stood beside him, leaning against it. 

''Are you coming with me to Steve's?'' you asked after several minutes of silence. 

''Nah,'' Eddie said, jumping down from the car, ''think I'm gonna pay Wayne a visit.''

You looked at him with a tight smile, nodding. ''Okay.''

''Okay.'' He chuckled. ''You'll come to me later?''

''Of course.'' You watched him walk away, exhaling shakily. ''Oh my God, fucking hell.'' 

The ride to Steve's was quiet, your mind numb. But seeing his car parked in the driveway lit some sort of warmth in your chest. Every step to his front door felt like you were floating, and if you'd had to knock, you're not sure it would've even made a sound with how numb your arm felt. But you never had to; the door was flung open by a beaming Steve Harrington before you reached it. 

You paused to look at each other, then he reached you in three long strides, his arms wrapping tightly around you. And the warmth of his presence made tears sting in your eyes. 

He pulled away, keeping his hands on your upper arms, ''Come in.'' The two of you walked into the house, one of his hands always in contact with you. ''I'll get us some coffee; feel like home.''

You looked around as he went into the kitchen. Most things were the same as before, except a red pillow on the couch you're relatively sure was new. However, the new picture on the wall caught your eye; it was of you and Steve from Robin and Nancy's graduation. You were standing outside the school, his arm flung over your shoulders and yours wrapped around his middle. If you looked a bit closer, you could see the scar around his throat and the tan lines on your hand you'd gotten from the cast. But if you took a step back, all that was noticeable were the big smiles on your faces. And maybe that was all that mattered.

''We looked quite good, don't ya think?'' Steve asked as he walked up beside you, smiling when you caught his eye. ''Thought it'd be a shame to let it be forgotten in an attic somewhere.'' 

You chuckled, nodding. ''Wayne's really got a knack for photography. Too bad he never pursued it.''

''Wish we'd have him around for our graduation; those pictures Dustin took were awful.'' He looked down at you with a fond smile. ''How've you been?''

''Oh, you know, same old.'' You shrugged, wrapping your arms around yourself when he hummed. 

''Same as last year?''

''Honestly?'' you looked up at him, cringing at your confession. ''A bit more intense this year. My psychiatrist says it's normal. Still makes me feel crazy, though.''

Steve grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly. ''Everyone copes differently; I don't think reminiscing and remembering make you crazy.'' His eyes dropped, sighing. ''Sometimes I wish I could remember more, but most of it is blurry or completely gone.''

You looked at him sadly, pinching your eyebrows together.

''Guess there's only so many hits you can take to the head before it affects you somehow, huh?'' he chuckled, shaking his head, his eyes glossing over. 

You spent the next three hours with Steve, discussing what had happened since the last time, and planned for you to be staying with him when you came back for the kids' graduation. But then you were standing by his front door, smiling as he assured you it was okay if you stayed with him now too. And it was like a broken record how you told him you'd already paid for the hotel and him saying he'd give you the money you spent. 

''Alright, well, if you're sure,'' he said eventually, giving up. ''Don't hesitate if you change your mind. I'll be a call away.''

''You always are, Steve.'' You smiled at him. ''Thank you.''

He nodded, wrapping his arms around you in what felt like the millionth hug today. Still, you craved more when he let you go. Saying goodbye always felt hard, even now when it was just until later. And it didn't get any easier when he looked at you like that. But you had to go to Eddie, and he knew that too. 

The drive to him felt like slow-motion. You passed several familiar faces, but they all felt like strangers these days. Some you'd gone to school with and some old neighbors, but none that mattered to you anymore. 

When you parked the car, you took a moment before exiting, taking deep breaths, and brushing the hair out of your face. You took a knitted sweater from one of your bags, the Indiana air making you shiver. And once you got the courage, you knew the path like the back of your hand. You didn't have to stop and think for a second; he was just pulling you to him. 

''Hey, stranger,'' you said with a chuckle, looking down. ''It's been a while, huh?'' You sat down, pulling your knees to your chest. ''It doesn't feel like it. Still feels like you're right there with me through everything. I talked to Steve about this earlier, and he said it's a good thing.'' You moved closer, pulling on the grass.

''It's funny, you're always much more talkative before we get to Hawkins.'' You chuckled. ''It makes me wonder if I actually remember your voice or if I'm just making it up.'' 

There was no answer, and there never is anymore. Not really. 

A rush of wind blew past, and you could've sworn you heard his laugh hidden in it. It should've made you shiver, but it felt like a warm blanket over your shoulders. You rested your forehead against the cold surface. If you imagined hard enough, it felt like his forehead pressed against yours. 

You sat back up, looking at the gravestone, reaching out and letting your finger trace the letters carved into it. 

Edward Munson. 

''What do I do with all this sadness, Eddie?'' 

[halfbakedideas]

And All Around The World, The Lights Will Fill The Streets

So take a pause for cheer, it's only once a year.

- I Feel Like a Kid Again by JAX

December is always the busiest month of the whole year in terms of crime. In the winter and with the approaching celebrations people get desperate. Even those who aren’t religious. It gets even more crazy in the two weeks leading up to Christmas.

The Ninja spend every evening in December essentially run off of their feet. Every patrol is spent foiling various crimes that range from petty heists (usually muggings, pickpockets, the occasional thief) to elaborate schemes. One December they had to deal with a scheme where every single cookie in a factory got replaced with cookies made of slime without triggering a single alarm.

This year is no different. Just like the Decembers past they head off into the winter evening on solo patrols. Every other month they patrol in pairs but there’s simply too much crime for that in December. The only difference this year is that some of them are recuperating from various injuries.

On the thirteenth, Lloyd packs up and heads out on a solo mission. He’s been tasked with going undercover in a pharmaceutical company to get information on a possible drug-smuggling ring. For this particular mission the other ninja, more specifically Zane and Nya, were in charge of organising the green ninja’s alias and disguise. There was no — well very little given their track record with luck — chance that Lloyd would get found out.

He would be back in time for Christmas Eve, hopefully, if nothing goes wrong.

So for the next two weeks, it was just the five of them (and Wu when the man decided to be there) at the monastery.

xxx

Even on Christmas Eve they had patrol. This particular evening, much like New Year’s Eve (in about two months’ time, give or take a few days), the entire team patrols the city.

It makes it fairer. Therefore no one person is patrolling alone on the night that could either be the busiest or the quietest night of the whole year. It also makes it go faster, they keep up the chatter (and occasional banter) that is usually kept to a minimum on regular patrols.

This year is shaping up to possibly join the small handful of quieter Christmas Eve patrols.

The only thing missing is Lloyd. They was due home at nine thirty, plans permitting but it is almost ten PM and there’s still no sign of their youngest brother.

He is not injured, the code that he’s supposed to give for that hasn’t been said, he’s just on the necessary radio silence.

No one’s really sure who is the one to suggest it but the suggestion is put forth that they use their patrol as a way to see the Christmas lights that are strung up around the city. There’s a strong suspicion that it was Pixal, who has never done such an activity before.

Thus, when the clock turns over to ten PM, they divert their patrol away from the usual routes and head for the spots where people have hung Christmas lights.

It’s not as nice as it was when they had last done this, almost four years ago now, the city’s population has exploded in that time. Urban sprawl consumes more and more land each year. But that is not the most important thing; what does is that they are together. Well, almost; the last member of their <s>team<s> family is still not home yet.

As they stand on a lower rooftop of a building, a bakery perhaps, looking at a frankly amazing display of Christmas lights that is decked out over an entire front of an apartment block. This particular display is so breathtaking that all of them consider the possibility of magic being used somehow.

My hands are frozen but I'm quick on my two feet, ‘cause I’m coming home.

“If only Lloyd could be here to see this,” Pixal says as the group watches the not-exactly-LED-lights display of snowflakes twinkle across the building’s side.

“Who’s to say I’m not?” A very familiar (and very much missed) voice says over the comm. line.

A round of startled but happy exclamations ring out as the ninja all turn to see their little brother (who is covered in soot and dirt but nevertheless alive) jump down onto the roof to join them.

“Lloyd!”

All six of them wrap their youngest brother in a hug. Soon enough they has to tap out; While he loves them all, breathing will always take precedence.

He has arrived at just the right time, there are still a few spots left that they have not yet visited.

xxx

The next morning, they all sleep in. Wu won’t be back until later that day and it is Christmas so there’s no one and nothing to say that they cannot.

Even with nothing forcing them to get up, Zane still gets up first. They deftly step over the sleeping multicoloured pile of limbs and head for the kitchen. Over the course of the next hour the others follow suit. Kai and Cole end up drifting into the kitchen to help Zane with breakfast.

“It’s Christmas; we should bake something,” Lloyd proposes sometime later while they eat breakfast (which was waffles as today was Sunday).

“That’s not a bad idea,” Nya agrees. “It’s not like we have anything better to do today, right?” she adds, looking to Zane for clarification.

Zane nods. “That is mostly correct, patrol of Ninjago city will be covered by the Neon Ninja until one o’clock this afternoon; we are free until then,” they tell the group.

“Then it’s decided: today we’ll be baking,” Lloyd decides. The group sets about preparing the kitchen for baking.

Before they can get started, however, Zane and Kai venture into the city to pick up the supplies that they were missing. Originally it was supposed to be Lloyd on Zane’s place (mostly for the laughs at sending the Red and Green ninja to get Christmas candy for decorating).

Before the pair can leave, Nya shoves the blond in the direction of the shower. They hasn’t showered since they returned yesterday. He had joined the others in the pile of sleepy ninja when they got in at the very, criminally , early hours of the morning.

Once they have the candy for decorating and the various ingredients they had been missing before, baking can finally get started. As to be expected, this particular activity elicits a mess. A big one.

Aside from Lloyd, who had forcibly made to go take a shower after not taking one for the last four days and thus changed into civvies, everyone hadn’t bothered to change out of their underclothes or the pyjamas some of them had changed into after returning from patrol last night (early this morning, really). On any other day, Wu would have made them change into their gi for morning training; today was not any other day.

Despite the frankly ridiculous amount of flour that has found its way into places in the kitchen they managed to get not only a tray of cookies rolled out but also a batch of rum truffles (only some of them had alcohol in them).

Now the group is seated around the tray of the cookie dough balls, various packets of candy are opened by their elbows. The aforementioned candy is being used to decorate a cookie each.

A bowl of safe-to-eat-raw cookie dough has been floating around the room, from person to person. Zane had made it after Jay (and Lloyd, the blue ninja protests) kept trying to eat the batter that had raw egg in it.

An indeterminate amount of time later, the scent of baking cookies wafts out of the kitchen to fill the hallways and the ninja disperse across the monastery.

By the time the ninja go on patrol that afternoon, and Wu and Misako return from their trip, there is a plate of misshapen cookies and a popcorn bowl full of what look (and smell) to be rum truffles? on the kitchen counter.

[wastelandcth]

Afterglow - cth

summary: you love living in the afterglow of performing, but a fight between you and calum leaves you in a haze. 

author’s notes: this is based off the song afterglow by taylor swift! i hope you enjoy! 

warnings: angst, mentions of cigarettes. 

masterlist || request || more songs for calum

Being a singer-songwriter had always felt like a dream, something you kept hidden in the back of your brain, the ultimate what-if. You had never imagined that one day you'd be on stage singing songs you wrote in your childhood bedroom and listening to the world sing them back. It had happened so quickly you almost forgot how to breathe. One second you were a nobody online sharing short videos of you singing and then the next you were signing a contract with a record label and going around the world. It almost seemed unreal, like you would wake up one day and all of the screams and flashing lights would disappear right under your feet. 

And then there was Calum. 

You first saw him at an award show. When the hectic moments between sets caused you both to be across the hallway from one another and his brown eyes met yours. The soft smiles exchanged between the two of you were more than enough to calm your nerves as you stepped out onto the stage and sang your latest single. You didn't know it then, but when your eyes met, Calum had wanted nothing more than to have your attention all the time. He hadn't even said a word to you, only looked at you in the lowlights of the backstage area and he already wanted to know everything about you. Even as his bandmates tugged him back to their seats in the crowd before your set began, Calum couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever had a chance to talk to you. 

When performing, a lot of things run through your mind; like whether you're on beat with the song or if you're going to run into the piano behind you. It had been something you had needed to get used to quickly, learning how to put on a performance instead of just sitting in front of your phone and singing. While you had learned to love performing in front of crowds and put on a show, you loved nothing more than when the songs were done and the lights went out. You loved how the crowds hurt your ears and when all you could see was a sea of lights and flashes in front of you. You could perform a thousand shows and your favorite part would always be living in the afterglow of the music and cheers. 

The second time you saw Calum had been when you walked out of the crowded arena, the lights barely bright enough for you to see the path that lead out to the car that was waiting to take you back home. You'd played your last show of the tour and all you wanted to do was shower before you would have to be dragged off to some after-party to drink and dance the night away. But when you spotted him off to the side, a cigarette in his hand as the smoke he exhaled floated into the sky and disappeared a few feet above his head, you couldn't help but feel like you needed to say something. 

"You look like you're running away from something," Calum mumbled, another puff of smoke floating up before his head turned to face you, "I was hoping to actually talk this time, instead of just watching from the crowd."

"I didn't think you'd still be here. Label invites don't really usually stick around too after the show is done," you mumbled, watching as he dropped the cigarette and crushed it under the sole of his boot, the crunch and thud of his boot bringing goosebumps to your skin.

"Not just another label invite, am I? Or is that all you think me to be?"

"Guess we'll have to find out, huh?"

It had started off as two people crushed against one another, the loud music deafening out any chance for conversation. Then when the drinks that seemed to be handed out every few minutes were introduced, your hands found their way to his waist, where you made sure he wouldn't leave your side. As the night progressed, the touches did too, and before you knew it morning had come and the sunlight was bouncing off his skin as he let out soft snores. 

That's what dating Calum had always been. A rush of emotions where you two took everything the other had to give and worried about the consequences later on. It was late nights when one of you had flown in for a few hours together and early mornings waking up alone while the other flew off to a new city. Being with Calum was soft words whispered in passing moments and sharing studios because it was one of the only times you two could be in the same city for longer than a night. It was video calls that lasted only minutes but those small eternities were shared between the two of you and that was all worth it.  It was chaotic and crazy but you wouldn't trade it for the world, you wouldn't trade Calum for anything. 

That was until the newspaper article came out. 

You'd woken up alone like you usually did, the phone next to your head buzzing away. The bed was warm, meaning Calum hadn't left too long ago and as you tried your best to drift back off for a few more minutes, the buzzing continued.  Your eyes barely focused, the harsh sunlight coming in from the window next to you was blinding and the only words you could make from the screen in front of you made your throat burn with bile. 

Calum, Single, Public Stunt. 

The article had been sent to you by your family and friends, many of them asking whether it was true and others asking if you needed anything. You didn't answer any of them, your hands were shaking and the anger that seemed to start at your stomach and rise up to the top of your head had made your jaw clench. As you scrolled through the article, laughing at yourself over how blind you had been and how much of an idiot they'd all made you seem, tears rolled down your cheeks. It wasn't until Calum's name popped up on your phone that you let out the shaky breath your tears had been holding in. 

"Ba-"

"So you lied that night. You looked me in the eyes and lied to my face," you muttered, your voice dripping with hurt and anger towards the man on the other line, "You know, people warned me about you and I just brushed them off because I believed in you! I believed you were better than the rumors! I believed you were more than someone looking to stay relevant in the spotlight by fucking me."

"Honey, you don't understand, this isn't what it looks like!" Calum defended, his own voice shaking as he tried to explain himself. 

"So you didn't talk to me because your label wanted to create more publicity for your band? You know they asked me to do the same thing? But I'm a decent human being and told them no, because I thought better of you and what you stood for, I guess I'm the idiot who thought that, huh?" you asked, your jaw clenching as the man you'd come to love stuttered, "Don't ever talk to me again, we're done."

"No, you just-"

"Fuck you, Calum." 

Anger had consumed you for weeks on end. The media barely saw or heard from you ever since the story had come out. Your family hadn't even been around much, you'd blocked everyone out, opting to lock yourself in a studio and write for hours on end. Your phone had been shoved into a bag and hadn't left for weeks, the constant ringing and notifications brought your anger to a new high and it had been better to just ignore everything. 

You hadn't spoken to Calum. His contact had been blocked and you weren't sure you'd ever want to unblock it again. The silence left the whole in your heart from growing, left you numb and staring down at the pages and pages of songs you knew would never be heard. Life felt like you had lost a fistfight and every time you found yourself awake in the early hours of the morning in an empty bed,  you hated the reminders he'd left. 

The letter arrived one morning when your mind was too exhausted to write and where your couch seemed like the comfiest place on Earth. The doorbell had rung and the sound of a letter falling onto the floor rang throughout the silence of your home. Your head had poked up from the couch long enough to see the envelope, yellow and taunting with familiar handwriting. It had laid there for hours that day, staring back at you whenever you walked by and it wasn't until you were laying in bed that night staring at the ceiling that you'd had enough of its taunting. 

"I know you might not believe it. But it's all here, the truth and more. Love Cal x" 

Your shaky hands read through the pages and pages of letters. Some from Calum to you, others were transcripts of emails or text messages. But they all told the truth, that Calum had never agreed to date you as a publicity stunt, that he dated you because he wanted to. You read through the emails he'd sent his label, asking for tickets to the sold-out tour to be able to see you. Suddenly, it had all made sense, why he'd been at the show alone and why he'd been so nervous when you'd caught him smoking outside alone. The pages you'd been holding were crinkled, tears smudging the ink that Calum had written showed his pain and hurt that you'd caused. With shaky breaths, you walked to your office, the piano that had remained untouched Calum had last been there an inviting sight. The seat was cold against your skin and the keys felt like strangers against your fingertips. The night went on, the moon and stars disappearing behind the morning glow and you kept on singing and writing until the alarm on your phone rang throughout the house. 

"I wrote this song for...for the mistakes I made and I hope that those mistakes can be forgiven," you mumbled into the microphone, feeling the radio host's eyes on you as you took a deep breath, "And that the afterglow can be where we meet again." 

The drumbeat was loud in your ears, matching your own heartbeat as your voice followed a few seconds after. You didn't even know if Calum would be listening, you hoped he was but after your fight and how you'd blocked him out for six months, you could only hope. The song played out for the world to hear, the smile on your face only for show as you counted down the time until the interview was over and you could go check your phone. 

"Oh looks like we have a caller for you," the radio host broke you out from your thoughts, "Caller, you have the airwaves!"

"I think that was a beautiful song," a familiar Australian accent rang in your ears, bringing goosebumps to your skin, "I'm sure whoever it's about would be more than willing to meet you in the afterglow."

"I hope he does." 

taglist: @hoodhoran​ @finelliine​ @moonlightcriess​ @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver @calpops @karajaynetoday @notlukehemmo @calumrose @devilatmydoor @lyss-xo @lowkeyflop  @notinthesameguey @hemmo1996-5sosvevo​ @myloverboyash​

[beigehearts]

So I'm not sure if you're comfortable writing for these kinds of things so if you aren't then you can just ignore this.

You can write it with Hisoka, Chrollo, Illumi, one or all of them I don't mind (preferably Hisoka)

But I've got issues with eating, not a full out eating disorder (at least not that I know of, I haven't been to a doctor for it) but I find it intimidating to eat full meals, and I normally only eat a couple things daily. Maybe an apple here and an orange for later.

And because of that I've sworn off having kids until I can get it under control (its been 4 years and doesn't seem to get better, I just keep losing weight) last time I weighed myself I was 112 which is getting pretty close to underweight for my height and age.

So could you please do a trio (or individual) x fem reader where she's been bullied about her weight by her mom and peers and has a hard time eating, and because of that she doesn't want to get pregnant and risk having a baby born premature or extremely unhealthy, or die. But somehow she manages to get pregnant (maybe failed contraceptives) so Hisoka/Illumi/Chrollo tries helping her get better about eating. Setting timers and having thought out meals for the day that includes all the food groups needed.

I've always been told to eat more or that all I ever eat is junk food but I'm not fat, I'm not extremely skinny, I just wish there would've been somebody telling me that everything would be fine and help me through it. Nobody has yet though, everybodys first reaction to me saying I rarely eat is that I should eat more when I literally cannot force myself to do so.

I really do apologize for this being long, and if you don't write this I can always find somebody else.

No I completely understand! I’ve struggled with my eating in the past and I sympathize. I know that hearing “just eat” and what not doesn’t help and I know it’s hard- but all you can do is try your hardest to get better- the journey is just as important as the result I’m more than happy to do this request- I really appreciate it because I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while. I tried to get this done asap because I feel like its important I really hope you like it!!

Alright let’s get started lads fem!reader CW: eating disorder, pregnancy

Illumi

It’s been days since you had your last meal. As his future wife and a future mother it has worried him sick. And at some points you wonder if he’s only concerned about the baby. You’ve been on birth control for months after having a long talk with Illumi that children would need to wait a bit until you have yourself under control. He’s been acting strangely, he’s been pacing which he has never done before, and snapping at his brothers, sister, and mother.

You sit on the balcony, a heavy rain pounding down, the awning above you barely protecting you. You look into the distance and rub your belly, as if trying to wish away the baby. It’s not that you don’t want children, you really do, and you also want to for Illumi’s sake. But it’s not time. You’re not ready. Your body is too frail and your hips cannot hold a child. The mere thought of something going wrong with your precious baby, is enough to make you sick. You’ve been brewing in bad thoughts for days since you found out- but this isn’t time to sulk...

Illumi opens the sliding door to the balcony, staring at you for a long while before sitting on the ground next to your chair. He grabs your hand on your belly and rubs it gently- with so much affection you feel like he’s a different person.

“Y/n.” He looks up at you with his big, dark eyes. “It’s scary.” He pauses, being unusually sensitive. “I can’t wait for the baby. But I need you right now.” He seems very out of his element, he’s not exactly the type to share his emotions. Though he can tell he needs to put himself aside for the well being of his future wife and future child. “We’re going to get through this together.” He nods to himself, and places his cheek on your hand, “You don’t have to do this alone. You have me now. I apologize that I have not been doing my best for you- but we’ll do it.”

He stands up, bringing you with him, pressing you against his chest. He holds your head against him, then pats your head gently. “We’ll set a schedule. We’ll eat together at every meal. I promise to be here now.” He begins playing with your hair and wraps an arm around your waist, “It’ll be just like training.”

You tilt your head up to him and frown at the training part.

He stutters and says, “No, it’ll be a process.” A sign of small smile makes it’s way onto his face, “Our baby will be just fine.”  

Illumi has never shown you such a sensitive side of him and you begin to wonder if he’s gone through this too. Either way, his comforting head pats and warm chest are enough for you in this moment.

Hisoka

Sometimes your boyfriend could be just so oblivious. He always cares and pays attention to you but sometimes things go over his head. He equates your morning sickness which is just dry heaving with being dehydrated. Though maybe telling him would just make it easier. You’ve been telling Hisoka that you want to get better. You’re tired of this burden on you constantly. Tired of food looking like poison. He’s done his best to help you. Though he’s somewhat lost in how to do so.

He loves you dearly and honestly how much he loves you sometimes scares you. You try not to think about what lengths he’s gone for you.

Hisoka is laying in bed, shuffling cards and twirling them on his finger.  He’s quite good with his hands. Quiet music plays from the radio- some new hip hop hit. He averts his eyes from his cards, to look at you. It’s been a month and it’s about time he knows why your belly has a small bulge- it not being from you eating better or more.

You spit it out- wasting no time and getting to the point. “I’m pregnant.” You close your eyes, as if scared he’s gonna lash out or break something. But none of that happens, it’s silence.

You peek one eye open to see him doe eyed, caught in head lights. The cards fall out of his hands. He clears his throat and fixes his face, “Come here baby.” You obey him and sit down next to him on the bed, he pulls you onto his lap and holds your face in his hands.

“I wish you told me sooner. I could have prepared.”

Eyes begin swelling in your eyes and he once again looks stunned. You burst into tears and hold onto his shirt, nuzzling your head into his neck. Through broken sobs you manage to say, “I’m no good as a mother. I can’t take care of it! I’m no good Hisoka- what if I kill it? I’m no good.” Sobs rack your body, leaving your trembling against his own body.

Hands grab your shoulders and he pushes you up, then wipes the tears from your face. “You’re perfect to hold a baby. What is it you’re worried about?”

You begin to hyperventilate after you have no more tears to cry. Through each breath you gasp out, “I’m... too... small... what if... I have a...” At the mere thought of your next words your heart begins pounding, “Miscarriage?” You let out one last sob of a word, “I can’t feed me and my baby...”

He shushes you and pushes some hair behind your ear, “Oh honey. You’ve been working so hard on getting better. You’re sick and that’s okay. We just have to work harder? Right?”

Nodding but you still can’t control your breathing, he says, “Come on take a deep breath.” Listening to his directions you do. “It’s gonna be alright. You’ll be a great mother. You work so hard. We just have to keep pushing.”

You nod, and collapse against his chest and whisper, “Is the baby going to be okay?”

“Yes, and so will you.”

Chrollo

Once the both of you found out you were pregnant, it was pure confusion. You were taking contraceptives and Chrollo knows how much you don’t want a baby right now. It was a long conversation you had when you got contraceptives. Despite wanting a child, he wanted nothing more than you to be happy and healthy. It’s been months, four months to be precise. You lost 3 pounds in that time no matter what you did. You just couldn’t make yourself eat and when you did you felt terrible, guilty.

It was mealtime, all though you haven’t eaten at mealtime in weeks, Chrollo keeps trying. He made a light salad, with tomatoes and olives, that’s all. He knows how the sight of big meals only discourages you.

He steps around the table with a small plate in his hand, and sets it in front of you. A small plate with a few bites of salad. It should be easy. But it’s not. He kisses your forehead and sits on the other side of the table. A candle is lit and a single rose is in a vase. He tries to make every meal seem like a feast but lacking the food. He has a normal size bowl full of salad and he smiles at you from across the table.

“Time to eat.” He takes a bite of his salad- not pressuring you in any way to eat. The plate itself is enough pressure. You pick up the fork like you’ve practiced so many times and stare at the green leaves beneath you. The fork picks up a single leaf and you bring it to your mouth, opening and hesitantly placing it inside. Chewing is almost the worst part- but the worst part is swallowing. You swallow the leaf and look up at Chrollo. You can tell he’s trying to mask his excitement as not to overwhelm you.

The most you manage is another six single leaves, and a single, half cut cherry tomato.

You look up to him once again, shame taking over you, “That’s all I can do...”

His eyes go wide and you wonder if he’s upset that you didn’t keep going. Instead he leaps out of his chair and around the table. He picks you up into his arms and spins you around while laughing. He gently places you back down on the floor and can’t contain his smile.

“Oh darling you’re doing so great. I’m so proud of you.” Tears being to prick at your eyes when hearing his words, “You’re so good, let’s try again tomorrow okay?”

He squeezes you tightly and shakes you side to side, “You’re just so wonderful. I’m so proud.” No one has ever said they’re proud of you besides him. It’s such a blissful sound to your ears.

[charming-2d-boys]

I'm about to get stupid specific! May I please have some Hisoka who's s/o has kids from a previous relationship (that he is very attached to) with 31 when the kids bio father tries rejoining their lives out of nowhere? Please and thank you!

Anon, I love you so much for this request! 😭💞

I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did! 🙇

31. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”

A/N: a bit long, but I had too much fun and I just love the idea since I read something like this with other HxH characters by @ask-hunterxhunter (definitely recommend them, their writing is awesome and really well-thought).

Also, (E/N) stands for “ex’s name”.

-----

   When you had gotten into a relationship with Hisoka, you were a bit apprehensive. Not just because of Hisoka’s personality, but also because of your little... secrets. Anyone could figure out at least some of the reasons why getting into a relationship while having kids from a previous relationship was something to be slightly scared of. This was exactly your case.

   Of course, you hadn’t told Hisoka that you had kids during your first date. Or the next one. You really didn’t think that you’d get to go on even more dates with Hisoka in the following weeks or months, but somehow, you did. You were both getting along and everything seemed to go well. Maybe there was hope for this unlikely relationship. Maybe it was because of this that you decided to have a serious talk with Hisoka.

   Even during this date, he was as charming and teasing as always. He seemed the same even when you told him that you wanted to talk, though you thought you saw his smile falter a little. Honestly, you weren’t feeling any better. Hisoka didn’t seem like the type to settle down anytime soon and the thought of one of the most exciting relationships you’ve ever had in years ending so abruptly honestly left you feeling uneasy. But your children were more important.

   And that’s exactly what you thought about as you told Hisoka everything: the failed relationship that resulted in your daughter and son being born, the heartbreak and hardships, and the dating. You explained it in simple terms but with a firm conviction: since the relationship was getting longer and serious, you thought it would be the right thing to do; but it all depended on him. Hisoka’s face that day really left you wondering: would it work out? Would he leave you like others did? Or would he be the one to actually stay and try to make it work?

   Turns out, after a few days of radio silence, Hisoka asked to see you again. At least he’d break up with you face to face.

   Imagine your shock when Hisoka said he’d be okay with trying to work it out. Your kids were a little hesitant, but definitely open to meeting someone their parent trusted. Your daughter had immediately taken the initiative, shaking his hand as she introduced herself, while her younger brother timidly copied her. He did seem to be more confident when around you and his sister, but this was one of the moments when it didn’t apply. Hisoka just knew that he liked them already: kind and polite, but also brave - just like you.

   Hisoka had grown attached to them quickly, as did they to him. He was fun, coloured, knew magic tricks and seemed to be a magnet, always playful and charming. He was always up for playing with them and enjoyed the fact that they looked up to him. It was like watching two ducklings follow their mother whenever he’d be on the phone, talking and pacing around while your kids followed behind him, eyes sparkling and admiring him as they talked quietly about his conversation, coming up with their own ideas and theories regarding the caller and subject. It never failed to amuse your boyfriend and in turn, you.

   You had to admit that one of the best moments was after around a year or so of Hisoka being around and already considered part of the family. Hisoka was staying in your shared bed, both your daughter and son on either side of him, arms over his waist as he was reading. Their eyes were slowly closing, though you could see the struggle to keep them open as they blearily looked at the colourful pictures and tried to pay attention to his voice. It was honestly hard not to giggle or coo at the sight. Your boyfriend glanced at you, smiling and winking before going back to the book, making your heart beat faster.

   As soon as he was sure that they were both asleep, he took your son in his arms while you took your daughter, slowly taking them to their actual beds in their bedroom next to yours. When you were ready to leave their room, as you left only their nightlight on, you heard your son wish him goodnight, calling him daddy afterwards. Hisoka automatically wished him goodnight and left with you to your shared bedroom. He was quiet until the both of you were ready to fall asleep and your fingers went over one of his cheeks.

   “He called me daddy... ♣” He said in a low voice, looking a little... lost? And also little happy? Worried? You couldn’t really tell.

   “Are you okay with that, Hisoka?” You were worried. Your kids already saw your boyfriend as their father, which was adorable. But what did he think about this?

   Hisoka was quiet for a few more seconds before nodding, placing his hand above your own and keeping them both on his cheek. It must’ve really struck him if he didn’t really know what to say. But he seemed happier the more he thought about it.

   Soon, both of your kids started calling him that and when they saw that Hisoka didn’t say anything and neither did you, it became something official. You didn’t feel the need to ask your boyfriend about whether he came to see your kids as his own. The way he acted with them and how he was actually treating them so gently and lovingly was enough proof of what he actually thought about this whole situation - a shock considering how Hisoka could be. The father role fit him pretty well and you were sure to tell him that constantly, one way or another.

   What neither of you were expecting was a surprise visit from the kids’ actual father. Just like you’d told Hisoka when he curiously asked you, their father had left soon after your son was born. Apparently, being a father wasn’t really his thing, as he’d put it. You suspected that the fact that he couldn’t live his youth anymore or be with anyone else were also deciding factors in his decision to just up and leave in the middle of the night. You hadn’t heard anything about him for years and the fact that he just showed up at your house during a weekend was both shocking and confusing. The anger soon followed.

   “Hey, (Y/N)! Long time, no see.” Your ex greeted you, a smile on his face and looking almost the same as the last time you’d seen him. You couldn’t utter a word, but your eyes were wide as you stared at him, almost thinking that maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. But it was real, you knew it, so you quickly snapped yourself out of your thoughts.

   “What are you doing here, (E/N)?” You wouldn’t let him come in. And you also hoped that Hisoka was still staying with the kids on the couch, all of them watching TV together.

   “I came to talk. About the kids. About us.”

   “There’s no us. There hasn’t been since you left.” You crossed your arms, glaring at him.

   “Oh, come on, you have to understand and get over it already! I was young! I was scared! I wasn’t ready to have a family and raise kids!”

   “And I was? You think I was any more prepared than you?” You almost shouted, before realising that you didn’t want your family coming over or even being seen by (E/N).

   “Look, I’m not here to fight. I want to talk to the kids. I want to get back into their lives and-”

   “No. Absolutely not. You left and that’s that. If you would’ve come after a bit of time, maybe I would’ve overlooked this. But you came now. After so many years.” Your ex opened his mouth before you felt a presence behind you. You felt Hisoka’s arm go around your waist protectively before he gently came to stand beside you, slightly pulling you so you weren’t in front, just in case something happened. Though you both doubted that.

   “And who might you be? ♣” Hisoka asked with a smile, though it was one that you had never seen before. It looked cold and sharp, like it could cut. Your ex gulped, clearly feeling the bloodlust aimed at him that was slowly growing in intensity.

   “I’m (E/N). I-I’m here to talk with my kids.” You felt your boyfriend tense just the slightest bit and he actually made a card appear between his pointer and middle fingers.

   “Since when do you get to decide that? I think my lovely (Y/N) right here is the one who gets to decide who the actual father is. ♣” The TV was still on and you actually looked behind, grateful that your children were still in the living room. You only hoped that things wouldn’t escalate, though you already had a feeling things wouldn’t go so smoothly.

   “I am their father! I get to decide when I want to see my kids!” (E/N) shouted angrily, apparently not caring about the bloodlust anymore. That is, until he felt it come in waves. Even you started sweating a bit, scared about Hisoka’s power. You hadn’t felt anything like this before, not even during his hardest matches at Heaven’s Arena. This was another type of bloodlust - it was more personal.

   “They’re not your kids, back the fuck off. ♣” Hisoka’s smile was completely gone and he almost seemed taller, more powerful than before. It was also one of the first times you’d heard him curse like that and were honestly worried about where you’d hide your ex’s body if he got murdered. You squeezed Hisoka’s bicep subconsciously when you saw (E/N) open his mouth again, only to see him stand frozen as a thin cut appeared on his neck. One corner of Hisoka’s card had a bit of blood on it and both you and your ex stared at it in shock. A trickle of blood slowly started going down, staining his shirt while Hisoka stared at him with anger and barely restrained murderous intention.

   “Leave. ♣”

   You had never seen anyone run so quickly in your life. (E/N) almost tripped as he tried to get away, not even glancing back as both you and your boyfriend stared at his retreating back until you couldn’t see him anymore. Hisoka’s arm pulled you into his side and he pressed a kiss to your temple, sighing and making you return to reality.

   “Are you okay?”

   “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that, lovely? ♦️” You assured him you were fine before the both of you went back inside, finding your kids playing together while the TV filled the background with noise.

   “Daddy, who was that at the door?” Your daughter asked, confused, especially when she saw that you were both a little more tense than before. She must’ve noticed that you were both taking your time at the door and the yelling probably made her take action, trying to distract her little brother before you both returned.

   “No one important, munchkin, don’t worry~ ♥️️” Both of your kids ran towards you and hugged you before Hisoka scooped them up in each arm, both hugging him and then pulling you in as well for a big group hug. Hisoka smirked and kissed you on the lips, making both of your kids say ewww loudly before he also kissed them on the cheeks, with you tickling them.

   “Can we have pizza for dinner?” Your son asked, looking at you with those big, innocent eyes of his.

   “Sure, go and choose the toppings and everything.” Hisoka put them down before they dashed to the kitchen, where the menus were. You boyfriend hugged you tightly, kissing your neck and swaying you a little.

   “Thank you, Hisoka. For everything.” You hugged him back just as tightly, thankful to have him and your kids.

   “No need to thank me, lovely~ ♥️️” He felt just as thankful for the chance you’d offered him.

[the-sound-of-her-wings]

Eyes Closed

Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

❀ Premise: You go out for the first time in a long time after a nasty break-up with your ex, who also happens to be at the party. Thankfully, Tony is there to comfort you. Set in the Age of Ultron party before everything goes to shit.

❀ Word Count: 1,770

❀ Contains: Ex-Fiance Random Guy, Angst?, Fluff?, Flirting

❀ Inspiration: Eyes Closed by Halsey

//Now if I keep my eyes closed he feels just like you// But you've been replaced// I'm face to face with someone new

By the time you wake up, the sun is already starting to set. Your gaze falls on the alarm clock next to your bed, which has been blaring the same song on repeat for the past 5 hours. The time you had set your alarm for had long since passed, and anything you had planned to do that day was thrown out the window. The only consequences you would receive for this were media speculation, and maybe the loss of a friend. You had lost so many friends these past few months that losing one more meant nothing to you. You were depressed.

You struggle to get out of bed but eventually, you can walk to the bathroom. You stare at yourself in the mirror. You still had makeup on from the previous night and your hair was a mess. Despite sleeping for almost the whole day, your eyes still had dark circles under them. You looked almost as bad as you felt. All you wanted to do was crawl back into bed and cry, but you knew that you had to go to an event tonight; The event.

After removing your makeup, you brush your teeth and put your hair into a bun. You reapply your makeup and move to your large, walk-in closet to pick out your outfit. You run your fingers across the dresses as you walk through the closet, before stopping at a knee-length dress with a rose print, repeating evenly throughout the dress over pastel pink fabric. It has long sleeves and a corset that begins under the breast and ends where your hips begin. You pair it with skin-toned heels and a gold clutch.

You check the time on your phone; 8:30 pm. If you left right away, you would be able to make it to the event on time and might even arrive a couple minutes early. That was a rarity for you these days.

You do not speak to the cab driver on the way to the Avengers Tower where the event was being held. It was not a significant event in any sense of the word, just a party that the Avengers were throwing, but it meant that you would have to see him. It had been almost 6 months since your break up, and since then it had been radio silence. The first time you had heard from him was last week, when you received a card in the mail inviting you to this event.

You had been in a long-term relationship with a friend of Tony Stark's for 3 years. This man had proposed to you, and you were starting to look at locations for your wedding when you found out he had been cheating on you for the past few months. You didn't know who he was cheating on you with, and you didn't care. You were the one who ended things. Even though he was the one who cheated on you, public opinion turned against you and not him. He was a good man at heart, or so you thought, and it was hard to move on from what you had together. In fact, you still hadn't moved on.

When you arrive, you step out into a sea of flashing lights and are bombarded with questions from the press. It is overwhelming. You do a couple poses on the red carpet, ignoring everything being asked by the press and everyone else around you. It takes you 10 minutes to reach the front door of the building.

Once you are inside, you are thoroughly screened by security. You are asked all the standard questions.

" What is your name?" The security guard asks.

"My name is (y/n)."

He checks off your name on the guest list.

"Do you have any weapons?"

"No"

"Do you plan on harming anyone?"

"No"

After this, you go through three different kinds of metal detectors and a body scanner before being escorted to the elevator. The security guard takes you up to the floor where the party is being held, letting you know a few more important details during the elevator ride.

"All guests are expected to leave the premises by one am unless permission is granted by Mr. Stark. If you feel threatened at any time please inform security. Enjoy yourself, but please remember to behave reasonably. You will be removed from the premises if you become a hazard. Mr. Stark thanks you for coming to this party."

With a loud ding, the elevator door opens. You walk out into a simple, modern suite. You see members of the Avengers hanging out around the bar with a few old folks. As you pass them, you overhear a conversation between Thor and an army vet about some kind of ancient alcohol. You mind your own business and weave through the crowds of people to find an isolated corner in the room.

No one pays any attention to you, and you'd like to keep it that way but there's one person in particular you hope won't find you in this crowd of people. Of course, your ex is the first person to find and talk to you.

"Hi, (y/n) how have you been?" He asks.

How have I been? You think I've been depressed for months. I've been sleeping way too much and have lost all my friends. Life has been hell, and it's all thanks to you.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. What have you been up to these last few months?" You respond.

"Oh, nothing to fancy. I just recently agreed to help fund Tesla's new space program and was approved to build a new orphanage in Brooklyn. What about you? Have you done anything interesting lately?"

"No, not really. I have been working on myself and my image these past few months."

You notice a girl approaching the two of you. You have no idea who she is, or what she does, but she seems deeply interested in the conversation the two of you are having. Once she gets closer, it becomes apparent that your ex and this girl know each other, as he is the one who introduces her to you.

"(Y/n), this is Paisley. She's my fiancé"

You are seething with anger. You resist the urge to slap him across the face, choosing instead to make a fist with your hand. You can feel it pulsating from how tightly you’re squeezing it. You feel betrayed and were caught off-guard by this sudden turn of events, but you keep your cool on the outside.

"Oh. It's nice to meet you, Paisley."

"How do you two know each other?" She asks. Your ex tenses and gives you a desperate look. She doesn't know that you two dated. She doesn't know what he did to you. She doesn't know. You could tell her that he’s a scumbag. That he’s a cheater and a liar. But you don’t.

"We are just... old friends." You lie. He immediately relaxes and smiles.

After a couple minutes of conversation, it becomes clear that this is awkward for your ex and he decides to excuse both him and his new fiancé from the conversation. You are thankful because you weren't sure how much longer you could keep up this façade. As he walks away with his hands around the hips of this other person, you begin to tear up. That's when you are snapped out of your pity party by a familiar-sounding voice.

"No one is allowed to be upset at my parties." Tony Stark states.

"What? I'm not upset." You say, wiping the tears away from your face.

"Are you sure? You looked like you were crying."

"I have allergies."

"I'm not convinced"

"Why are you so concerned? You don't even know me that well..."

"(Y/n), I know you well enough to know what this is about." He holds out his hand as if to ask for a dance. "Come on. Enjoy yourself"

This act of compassion is touching and persuasive enough that you take his hand with a smile. You walk together from the corner of the room to the center of the room. When you get there, a slow dance begins to play. You sway back and forth together, and for a moment you are happy, you even have a smile on your face. The jokes he tells while you dance together are not very funny, but you laugh at them anyway. Dancing with him feels like it was meant to be, that you could be happy again with someone else.

When the song ends, you lay your head against his chest and close your eyes. You pretend for a moment that he is your ex, that there was no new fiance and you two were still in a new relationship. It's comforting.

You open your eyes and try to erase the image of your ex from your mind. It should be easy. In front of you is Tony Stark, the superhero, billionaire, philanthropist. He is kind and caring, and everything you could want in a man. Still, you are reminded of your ex. Not just this one, but all of your exes. They never stayed, they always moved on to someone else. If Tony were to ask you to be his girlfriend, would the same thing happen?

"Do you feel better?" He asks.

"I do. Thank you for helping me take my mind off of things. I really appreciate it."

The crowd has dwindled down quite a bit. Your ex and his new fiance have left, and the only people left are the Avengers and a few drunk stragglers. You have no idea what time it is, but it must be late if so many people have already left.

"I should get going." You say.

"It is getting late, isn't it? I'll walk you to the elevator."

Once you reach the elevator, you press the down button. You wait together in silence until you hear the ding indicating the elevator has reached your level, and the door opens. You give Tony a polite hug and a kiss on the cheek. You've pressed the button to go down to the first floor when he says one last thing to you.

"(Y/n), would you like to go to dinner with me?" His question doesn't come as a surprise, but you are still a bit shocked that he asked. Instantly, your mind thinks of all the logistics. Where? When? Will it be a fancy restaurant? Will the paparazzi be there? You don't just ask a girl out to dinner while she's standing alone in an elevator.

"I would love to."

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter twelve

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2588

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: none

Note: Normally I am the type of person to be date accurate when writing things and if you are too, I'm sorry. I messed up on the dates, so the battle of New York happens like a month after it should. This is also a short chapter because it's a filler and I'm trying to just get to the Winter Soldier but have everything make sense.

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Masterlist

A few days later I had received a small archivist job in the WWII department of the Smithsonian. Thankfully the made-up resume and a few fake SHIELD recommendations came in handy. I would officially start the following week after a few background checks were cleared. In my free time until then, I unpacked all the boxes in my apartment. It started to feel more homely and warm when all of my things filled up the space. When I didn’t feel like unpacking anything, I started taking long walks to the VFW building. I hadn’t joined in on any of the meetings yet, I just stood by the doorway and watched, listening to the stories people told.

One day that week as I stood back in the hallway after the meeting had ended, a man came up to me. He was a little taller than I was and had the brightest smile I had ever seen. I had watched him in the meetings before, he was usually the one hosting them, giving advice to all who needed it.

“I’ve seen you standing out here for the past three days, why don’t you come have a seat next time? It would be more comfortable than standing out here for an hour.” He said as he leaned his back against the wall right next to me.

“I have thought about it, but I tend to get here after you have started. I don’t want to interrupt anything by just barging in.” I said over my shoulder at him.

“You won't interrupt anything, just come on in next time, we’d be happy to have a new face around,” He pushed himself off the wall and walked down the hall.

After that, I ended up joining the meetings and even spoke a few times. I learned that the man who came up to me that day was Sam Wilson, pararescue, who had served two tours in Afghanistan. From the first day he came up and talked to me to now, we quickly became friends.

The days had turned into weeks and I was finally able to live relatively by my own means. The Smithsonian was great, in the archives, no one was really around and I could spend a whole day without any interruptions, which allowed me to just concentrate on what I was doing. After closing, I normally walked to meet Sam, who was usually way too excited to see me, even though we saw each other almost every day without fail.

“You’re late today.” I jumped, startled out of my thoughts at the sound of someone talking to me. I looked up, spying Sam standing next to one of the small trees outside the VFW building.

“What do you mean late?”

“I mean you usually get here at three-thirty. It's four right now.” He said looking down at his watch.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I've just been lost in my thoughts lately.” I sighed.

“I know we’ve only been friends for what? A month? But I already know when something is bothering you, What is it?”

“Nothing really, just my brother. Since moving here he's called at least twice a week to check up but it’s been radio silence for the past two weeks, he doesn't even answer when I try calling him. I'm just a little worried that something bad is going on, considering his job.”

“Well, maybe he’s just really busy at the moment, or he's somewhere he can't call you. You know how it is being out on those military missions.”

“I know, it’s just the last time we were apart on a mission,” I trailed off and looked up at Sam, he raised his eyebrows, quietly waiting for the end of the sentence. “Someone close to us passed. It’s still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. I was there that day and I was too far away to even know what had happened, now my brother and I aren’t even in the same vicinity as each other, there is no telling what could happen and it makes me nervous.”

He gave me a small apologetic smile and patted my shoulder before leading me from the tree where we stood to where his car was parked. “What do you say we hang out at mine and just watch some tv? Get your mind off things? Or we can talk about it, either way, it’s better than dealing with it alone.” I nodded my head and grabbed onto the car door handle as he unlocked it.

Walking through the front door after him I took a quick look around. It was cozy, way more decorated than I thought it would be for a man in his early thirties living alone.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?” He asked neck-deep in the fridge.

“Okay, I’ll just have some water,” I called out as I made my way further into the living room. The couch was backed up to the wall a few feet away from the dining room table. I sat down on it and scooted as close as I could to its right arm. A few moments later Sam came over with two glasses of water and a bag of chips. He handed me my drink before crashing down into his own seat. “Thank you,” I said before taking a long sip.

He nodded as he said “No problem.” Before he got himself really comfortable he searched around for the TV remote. As he pressed the ‘on’ button the TV came to life. “What in the world is that?” He sounded concerned so I quickly looked at the screen.

“Breaking: Attack on New York City. This afternoon at 2:15 several unidentified aircraft descended onto Earth's surface. Strange beings, some are calling aliens, Accompanied these ships and are causing havoc in Manhattan. Eyewitnesses have stated that they have seen Iron Man, and what seemed to be Captain America, leading a team of three others fighting back against the invaders. The battle seems to be over but updates are still coming in, let's take a look at some footage of the downtown destruction.” My eyes went wide and my heart stopped as I listened to what the reporter was saying. I kept my eyes glued to the screen as it changed to show a destroyed street. As the camera panned around I spotted Steve fighting against two of the creatures, before the clip quickly changed to show one of the large ships crashing into the New York skyline.

“Oh God Steve, what did you get into?” I murmured to myself.

“You say that like you know him personally.”

“Uhh.” I just gave him a wide-eyed look of surprise. “I do, he’s my brother.”

“Now really isn’t the time to be joking about things,” He gave me a pointed look.

“I swear I’m not joking, he really is my brother. I can explain later, I need to try and get a hold of him.” I pulled out the small flip phone from my pocket and dialed the number for Steve's cell phone, it rang and rang but no answer. I hung up quickly and dialed the number Fury gave me at the beginning of the month. After two rings he answered.

“I assume you are looking for Captain Rogers.”

“Where is he? Is he okay?” I tried to keep the worried tone from coming through in my voice.

“He’s fine. He is in the middle of a debriefing. I’ll tell him you called.”

“Okay, thank you.” As soon as the words left my mouth he gave a quick hum and then hung up. I looked over at Sam whose eyes hadn't left me at all. “Everything is fine, he's in a debrief so that means that whatever happened in New York is definitely over.”

“That’s good to hear, hopefully, those things don’t try to come back again.” He shook like a shiver ran down his spine. “Now please explain how Captain America, a man from the 1940s, is your brother.”

“I can hear the skepticism in your voice.”

He held his hands up in defense, “Hey, I'm not the one saying I'm the sister to a 90 something-year-old man.”

“Look, it’s a long story that I would rather not get into now but the short version is that I was born in 1921, Steve is my older brother, we both ended up taking the super-soldier serum and fought against HYDRA in the second world war. We ended up crashing a plane into some Ice in the Atlantic ocean and were found and unfrozen last October.” “If you are really Captain America’s sister, then why are you never mentioned in anything?” I looked at him and shook my head.

“Well for starters it was the forties and I was a woman fighting on the front lines. Credit is never given where it is due. But there is also the fact that I was a part of the SSR, which was very secretive, after I died.” I put my fingers up in air quotes, “They should have erased most, if not all the files on me, per protocol. The only reason Steve is well known is because of his time going cross country selling war bonds.” I paused for a second before quickly adding, “I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll find me in the history books somewhere.”

Sam just sat there not really saying anything. This was the first time I think he had ever been quiet for more than five seconds. I let out a deep sigh and stood, grabbing my bag from the floor. “Thanks for having me over, but I think I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and walked me to the door.

“Don’t be late. I’ll see you.” Sam waved me off and I headed down the street.

About half a year later while sorting through some archive files, I came across Peggy Carter. I felt a pang in my heart as I stared at the photo of her standing next to Howard Stark. Other than Steve and Bucky, those two were my closest friends. I fell down a rabbit hole after that, finding any information on the two that I could find. They had both helped found SHIELD in 1965, they had both gotten married and had children of their own. Peggy's children had stayed out of the public eye, but in true Stark fashion, Howard’s son evidently took over the family business and was living the high life. I pulled out a newspaper from the stack I had on the table in front of me and was shocked at what I saw. The title read ‘Howard and Maria Stark Die in Car Accident’, I knew Howard most likely wasn’t alive anymore but seeing the photographs of the wrecked car in the newspaper cast a somber mood through the room.

I laid the paper down on the table and ruffled through more of the papers before determining that we had no information on if Peggy was alive or not. That sent me into a frenzy of looking through phone books to try and find her and calling every retirement home in DC that I could. The only lead I had to go off of was a small interview from a newspaper, talking to Peggy about the seventieth anniversary of V-E Day, stated that she was living in Washington, DC.

After eight failed calls, finally, on the ninth, I had finally found a home which had a Peggy Carter as a residence in room 204. I rushed to pack up my things and left my office early. I ran down the back hallways as fast as I could without drawing too much attention. When I made it out of the building I ran full speed to the road to hail a cab.

Amazingly the traffic was almost nonexistent and I made it to the retirement home in only ten minutes. I fumbled out of the cab and I raced through the front doors of the building. I must have startled the women at the front desk because as soon as I rounded the corner to the staircase, they were yelling after me. I took the steps three at a time in my haste to get to the second floor. I stopped running when I was outside of room 204. I couldn’t see anything clearly through the frosted window so I knocked hesitantly and slowly opened the door and stepped in.

There in the middle of the room, against the wall was a single bed. A woman laid there quietly with her eyes closed. The closer I came to her the more familiar she looked. I let out a relieved gush of breath. There she was, older now, but still the Peggy I once knew. I nervously grabbed one of the chairs in the corner of the room and brought it over to her bedside so I could sit. Gently I gave her a small tap on the hand before just holding it in mine. She stirred but her eyes never opened.

All of a sudden one of the nurses from downstairs came into the room, with an angry and shocked expression.

“Ma’am, You can't be in here. If you want to see a patient, you have to sign in.” I ignored her, my eyes trained on Peggy's face. The commotion of the woman barging into the room had made her open her eyes and look around. I just watched as she scanned the room, first to the door on the left, to the wall in front of her, past me sitting on her right, then to the window behind me.” Her brows raised and she lifted her hands to her eyes to rub. The shock on her face was evident as she turned her head to stare directly at me.

“Hey Carter, long time no see huh?” I gave her the biggest smile that I could.

“Is it really you?” She reached her hand out to mine and grabbed hold.

“It is, it’s really me.”

“Ma’am, I mean it, you can't be here.” The nurse tried again, this time Peggy shot her a glare.

“Ms. I’ll have you know this is one of my best friends and she can be in here if she wants to. Now leave us alone.” The young nurse nodded her head and rushed out, even in old age she could still put on that commanding tone that struck fear in every man. She slowly turned back to me, almost like if she looked back for me, I would be gone. “How? How are you here?”

“It’s a long story Peg, are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Look where I am, I have nothing but time.” She laughed out and I let out my own small laugh as I shook my head.

In addition to what I had been doing, like hanging out with Sam, after that first visit, I made it a priority to see Peggy once or twice every two weeks, depending on how she was doing. Dementia had put a lot of stress on her, and seeing me after almost seventy-five years and looking relatively the same as I had when frozen took out a giant toll on her.

And that's how the next 10 months went until Steve eventually moved into an apartment directly under me.

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