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angel-kyo · 1 year ago

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Pay it no mind

Part XIV

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. There is a mention of reader being injured, and I guess everyone is ooc here, but thank you for bearing with me.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII

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A week. Seven full days of silence. When was the last time you had gone this long without any contact with Satoru?

No calls. No messages. Not even a glimpse of him. You had learned from Ijichi that he had been sent on a mission to a distant part of the country just a couple days ago. In other words, there was nowhere to see him.

Initially, it had been a relief. After he left on that fateful night, and you allowed your feelings out. It was only then that it hit you: you had never cried over his rejection. It had hurt, and you had grieved in some way, but maybe by immediately pretending it had never happened, you had prevented yourself from accepting heartbreak.

The truth was just too scary to accept, so you had told Satoru the same lies you had been telling yourself for the past months. ‘It was just a crush’, ‘It has passed’, ‘I’m over it’.

“Liar,” you muttered to your own reflection on the bathroom mirror. Dark bags were starting to form under the eyes that returned your gaze.

Your back was sore and your sleep had not been the best during the last few days.

At first, you had been upset with Satoru, and then upset with yourself for not being able to just dodge the hit and play it cool.

Satoru must have known how much of an unpleasant memory it was for you. Why did he have to bring up the rejection again?

He was not that dense, and neither were you. Your friendship had often felt as both of you stepping right on the line between friends and lovers. Sometimes one of you would lose balance and almost fall on either side of it. Even if both of you denied it, none of you had a similar relationship with anyone else. Still, you believed he had given you the definitive push the day he rejected you.

If he could not feel the same, you could respect that. In fact, you had vowed to just forget it. But why did he have to kiss you while being aware of the hold he had on you?

It’s probably nothing to him, that’s why.

You remembered what Shoko had told you once.

“He is a bit selfish when it comes to you,” Shoko said softly, putting her head on your shoulder.

It must have been summer with how hot it was, and you could see droplets of sweat forming on Shoko’s forehead. You and she were sitting on a bench, outside of a convenience store. She had sent Geto and Gojo for drinks inside.

Satoru had initially said that Shoko and Suguru should go, but Ieiri had refused, saying she was getting a heatstroke and needed to sit down, with you to keep her company. Gojo rolled his eyes but let Suguru pulled him into the store anyway.

“Are you really feeling unwell?”

She only smiled.

At the beginning of your friendship with Suguru and Shoko, Satoru had wanted for all of you to get along, but he was not particularly appreciative of you spending too much time with either of them without him. He had loosened up quickly, though, but Shoko and Suguru were an exception. If he could keep you by his side, he would.

He could not take it back. All he had said and done; all the ways he made it look like there was more to it when there was not.

He can’t take any of it back, and neither can I. Paying it no mind is not going to solve it either.

You looked at your phone. You had sent Satoru a message earlier, just to make sure he was okay. Not that you should worry; he was strong, and if the world had not yet collapsed under curses, he was probably still alive. However, it was not like him to stay away from you this long with nothing but radio silence in between.

I guess I did kick him out, so I can’t blame him.

You washed your face and went to bed, not bothering to take your phone back to the bedroom. You needed to sleep, and the only person you cared to chat with at the moment had not even read your message.

***

“Okay, this one is it. Just try it out.” Satoru patted the mattress of the queen size bed he had found at the department store you were currently at.

You sat down. “It’s… It’s okay,” you said.

To Satoru, you did not sound impressed at all. “Just okay?”

You nodded. “Comfortable.”

“Is that how you try out a mattress? Do you sleep sitting up, [name]?” he asked smiling as he laid down on the sample bed.

You looked around. None of the other clients were really looking at you, too focused on their own shopping to care, but still…

“It’s kind of embarrassing.” You directed your eyes back to Satoru.

“It’s not, and it’s the only right way to do it,” Satoru said smiling and patting the mattress again so you would lay down too, which you finally did.

“And?” he asked.

The ceiling lights of the store were a little too bright, but if you focused only on how the mattress felt, it was indeed comfortable.

You had just signed the lease for your first apartment and getting some furniture was the next thing on your to-do list to become an independent person. Among the basics, having something to sleep on would be nice. That is how Satoru had accompanied you shopping for your first mattress.

“It’s more than okay,” you admitted.

“You should get it then.”

“How much is it, though?” Your eyes widened a bit after looking at the price, and you got up from the spot immediately. "Forget it. It's one zero too much."

I wouldn’t be surprised if they charged for just trying it.

Satoru, on the other hand, could not have looked more unbothered even if he tried. This was why going shopping with him and a budget in mind was useless.

“If this is the one you like, I would not mind…”

You shook your head. “No way. I have a budget, I just need to stick to it,” you reassured him. “Besides, this one would not even fit in my bedroom.”

Of course, he would not mind lending you money. He might not even ever ask you to pay back, but this was your quest for independence. You would rather not to lean on his resources. It was the same reason you had declined Yaga’s offer to crash at the school dorms, even though now that you were starting your teaching career there, it might have been convenient. It was going to be nice to have your own space, plus, now that all your former classmates had left, the dorms were too empty and too full of memories at the same time.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” A store clerk had spotted you and landed next to you. The woman was quick to compliment the model ‘you two’ had chosen.

Satoru had sat up and was now looking at her. When she looked at him more closely, her words halted, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks.

Right, that’s the effect he has on people.

You mentally thanked Satoru for being so good-looking that people would become speechless on his presence and allow you to speak instead.

“Actually,” you started, “this is not quite what I’m looking for.”

“Oh, well…” She seemed to have recovered from the momentary shock of first meeting Satoru’s face, “We have some other options that are preferred by couples. I will be glad to show you…”

You and Satoru shared a small smile. Another one, huh?

“We are not…” he said.

“We are friends,” you stated.

“Oh, sorry.” Her smile looked sincere, “Then is there anything you are looking for in particular?”

“Are there any… smaller options?” you asked hopeful. Maybe she had some cheaper ones too.

She nodded politely and asked you to follow her to another area of the store.

“Smaller?” Satoru had stood up to follow you. “How will we both sleep in it?” He was smirking.

You elbowed him, and he was kind enough to pretend it had hurt.

“Don’t say anything else that will confuse the lady,” you hissed and he chuckled.

That day, Satoru pretty much ended up picking your bed. It was not as big as he had wanted it, but it was comfortable enough and, to your delight, within budget. The only downside to Satoru was that it would require a bit of effort for both of you to fit in.

***

“Fancy seeing you here.” Satoru sat across from Shoko at her table in the school cafeteria.

She had decided to take a break from reviewing files at the infirmary and usually, she would not go to the cafeteria, but you had pulled her there so many times that her feet had carried her there almost automatically.

She looked at Gojo’s face. “You are back.”

“Got back last night.” He took out his phone and Shoko saw him check something on the screen and put it down on the table. Was it her imagination or he seemed tired? Tough to say without seeing his eyes, but he did have a duller aura around him right now.

Shoko raised her cup of tea to her lips and eyed Satoru’s phone.

“New phone?” she asked.

Satoru had leaned back on his chair and a adopted a more carefree expression. Even if he was a grown man, Shoko would have said he looked just the same as when they were highschoolers.

“Yeah…” It was impossible to tell, but Ieiri also thought his eyes were looking around the cafeteria, and she had a hunch on what he was searching for, or rather, who. “The other one broke down. It’s the same number, though.”

His phone had broken down three days ago, it slipped and the screen turned pitch black. It had not shut down immediately, though, and it still rang when Ijichi called him, but if he could not see the screen, it was no use keeping it.

Satoru had not really cared at first, only getting a cheap phone to communicate through the end of his mission. Ijichi had gotten a more suitable replacement ready for him when he got back, and it was only after setting it up and retrieving his backup data, that Satoru realized you had actually messaged him days ago.

Unlucky.

He had not replied yet, figuring he would see you at the school anyway and could maybe set things straight between you two. However, he had not encountered you across campus, and when he peeked at your class, your students were being looked after by a first-grade sorcerer he had seen around a few times, filling in the substitute teacher position.

He wanted to ask Shoko. “Say, Sho-”

“[name] took a couple days off,” she interrupted him while placing her cup back on the table and encircling it with both hands.

Can she read minds?

Shoko could not, but knowing Gojo, it was taking him long enough to ask about you.

"Oh."

She looked at him. “They...”

Shoko wanted to tell Satoru you had paid her a visit after one of your missions that week, but she was not sure you would have wanted Gojo to know.

Ieiri had been surprised at first when she saw you that day. A lot of blood always made it difficult to perceive at first glance how big a wound really was. After a closer inspection, she realized the injuries on your torso were not too concerning, not for someone with her abilities at least.

But if they were a regular person and I was a regular doctor, they would have probably been bed-ridden for a while, she thought.

She had had you in walking condition after a couple days, but it still bothered her. Getting injured during missions was the norm for sorcerers, especially younger ones, however, she knew you were experienced in battle. A scratch here and there was expected, but she had seen you returning more beaten up lately.

They are taking on more difficult missions, that was what she wanted to tell Gojo. She was not sure whether you were trying to get promoted or if for some reason they were actively assigning you missions above your rank.

The cup Shoko was holding was warming her hands.

A thought assaulted her mind: There is no predicting the higher-ups.

If you had upset one and now had a target on your back, Satoru could help you out, could he not?

“What is it?” Gojo tilted his head looking straight at Ieiri, or at least she felt this time he was looking at her.

“Nothing. I think they will be back tomorrow.”

Satoru had thought about visiting you, but seeing how that turned out last time, he decided to wait.

Giving you space was the right call in his experience. Usually, no matter what the problem was, you could talk it through when you both had had some time to mull it over.

But, in this case, how much time did you need?

The whole situation was like nothing you and him had faced before. Fighting over snacks or over a joke that went a step too far was one thing. The look you had given him that night and the way you called him selfish, that was completely different, and it had haunted him since he left your apartment.

Satoru grabbed his phone and finally replied to your message. He hit 'send' and offered an attempt of a smile to Shoko.

“If I asked for advice, would you give me some?”

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Note: I almost forgot my iconic note (even though I'm the only one who thinks it's iconic). And the note is... there is no note, just my love. <3

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XV

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh

#gojo satoru #jjk #gojo x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk fanfic #gojo x you #jjk gojo #gojo x y/n #gojo fanfic #satoru gojō x reader #satoru x reader #pay it no mind #jujutsu kaisen

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honorarysimp · 8 months ago

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Interlude: The Diner

series masterlist

Out of everywhere in town you’ve been since you arrived two weeks ago, this is the only place you’ve truly felt safe.

The diner was a blast from the past, a relic of a time long gone. The checkered linoleum floor worn and scuffed in places, and vinyl-covered booths gave the place a retro feel, while the crackled and faded wallpaper added a touch of nostalgia.

The smell of stale coffee and fried food hung in the air, adding a distinct atmosphere to the place.

The diner was dimly lit, the fluorescent tubes above the counter casting a harsh, almost clinical light over the small space. In one corner, an old radio played quiet music, the sound barely reaching a few booths in the room.

You are currently sat in a booth towards the back, visibly exhausted beyond measure as you nurse a cup of black coffee.

Coffee is suppose to be the answer to everything, but you’ve had to reconvey your initial claim the last week.

Your phone suddenly rings loudly in the quiet diner, the sharp sound causing you to flinch, jarring and breaking the ambiance like a hammer against glass. You glance down at the screen, expression darkening as you saw the word "Mayor" flash across the display.

With a heavy exhale, you let the call ring through to voicemail. The Mayor was the last person you want to deal with at the moment. You’re frustrated and exhausted, as this investigation seems to be leading nowhere.

Why answer her when you have nothing to report? She knows where to find you if she’s that desperate for results.

You reach into your coat pocket and retrieved your tape recorder. You lay it on the worn tabletop and looked at it for a moment with a slight grimace.

You hesitate before starting the recording, the weight of your lack of progress weighing heavily on you. With a weary sigh, you hit the record button and began speaking, voice low and tired.

"It's been two weeks since I arrived here, and so far, I've got nothing. No leads, no suspects, just a whole lot of dead ends."

You continue, your voice growing more frustrated as you detail your efforts thus far.

"I've tried everything," you admit, hand running through your hair in exasperation. "Witness interviews, forensic analysis, even digging through records going back decades. But every time I think I'm onto something, it just leads nowhere."

You lean back in the booth, shoulders slouched in exhaustion. "It's like this town is intentionally keeping secrets."

You pause for a moment, expression thoughtful.

"The people here," you begin, voice a bit softer. "They're just as much victims as anyone. I've started to get to know some of them, and they're just trying to live their lives. But then there's this..."

You trail off, expression conflicted. You knew you’ve always tried to be logical and professional when it comes to your job, ruled by rationality and evidence. But this case is pushing your boundaries, forcing you to question your own beliefs.

"Maybe... maybe there's no logical explanation," you admit, voice barely a whisper “the only thing that’s consistent is the fact one person goes missing a month, but even that doesn’t make sense because it stops and starts randomly- goddamn it.”

You hit the pause button on the tape recorder, frustrated. You sit back, the silence in the diner somehow making the weight of the case even heavier.

You sat for a moment, eyes unfocused as you mull over everything that has happened in the last two weeks. The disappearances, the dead ends, the strange events... everything about this case was slowly chipping away at your certainty, your usual rational mind struggling to find footing.

You start the tape recorder again, voice weary but determined.

"The attack in the woods," you began. "I've tried to make sense of it, but it just doesn't add up. The masked figure came out of nowhere, silently and unexpectedly. The knife cut me, but there was no blood, no trace of any kind at the scene. And even after searching, there were no footprints or tracks of any kind. Nothing."

You trail off, eyes fixed on the tabletop. "It's like the assault never even happened."

You again continued, tense with disbelief. "And then there's Wes," you say, shaking your head. "He just vanishes after walking into the lake. We've searched the lake more times than I can count, and we haven't found a body. Nothing. It's like he just vanished into thin air."

Your frustration and confusion becomes more and more evident the more you spoke, the mystery of the case growing more complex with each passing moment as you verbally try to debunk it aloud. "It makes no sense," you mutter, raking a hand through your hair once more, knee bouncing in a fidget underneath the table.

You pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm your frustration. "The disappearances, the attack, the lack of any solid evidence... everything about this case just feels wrong. Like there's something bigger going on, something just out of my grasp.”

You look down at the tape recorder, brow furrowed. "But how do I solve something when I can't even see all the pieces? How do I find answers when everything I've tried leads to more questions?"

You sat slumped in the booth, gaze unfocused as you wrestle with your thoughts. "I need... I need..." you repeat in a low voice, frustration and desperation mingling in your tone.

I need a fucking cigarette.

You clench your fists, refocusing on trying to piece together the elusive clues in your mind. "I need something decisive, something concrete," you continue, eyes sweeping over the steam rising from your mug as if the answers were etched within the small bubbles resting on the liquid’s surface.

You let out a heavy sigh, the frustration etched on your face. You reach out and hit the pause button, shutting off the tape recorder.

You lean back in the booth once again, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. The weight of the case hung heavily on you, the lack of progress a crushing disappointment. Never has a case had you so in the weeds before, you should have something by now.

"I need to find something," you mutter to yourself, jaw clenched. "I can't keep spinning my fucking wheels like this."

You rest your elbows to the table for a moment, rubbing a hand over your face as if trying to scrub away the fatigue and temporary defeat. Everything about this case was getting under your skin, the lack of progress wearing on your already frayed nerves.

The Diner's bell jangled as someone entered, causing you to look up from your thoughts. Your gaze lands on Tara of all people, who had just walked in.

You register the first responder uniform she is wearing, coming to the conclusion that she must be working the night shift. Or just got off it, depending on what time it is, that of which you aren’t sure. Your eyes lingered on her for a moment, taking in her tired but determined expression.

Her head turns and you’re already meeting her gaze, a pause between you, and then you silently gesturing for her to join you. You see the hesitation on her face, the fatigue and worry that mirrored your own. But after a moment, she relents and walks over to the booth, sliding into the seat opposite you.

“Hey” you start softly, watching her take your coffee mug off the table and take a small whiff before taking a sip.

You don’t question it.

“Nothing yet on our end, you?”

You shake your head, “even if we did, I’m sure Sam would be the first one to let you know.”

Tara nods, and you both fall silent.

The one waitress that seems to be working tonight walks over, she gives you both a kind smile.

“You’re working late tonight, Cici” Tara says politely, which makes the woman laugh good naturely.

“I could say the same to you, coffee?”

“Please.”

She scribbles it down, glancing back up “and the usual?”

Another nod from Tara, which then has Cici’s gaze going to you expectantly.

“I’m still doing okay with just coffee-“

“The Detective will have what I’m having Cici, thank you” Tara cuts you off, making Cici glance between you knowingly as she jots the order down and heads off without another word.

You look to Tara and narrow your eyes, but she beats you to it before you can speak.

“I wish you’d stop making assumptions about me, you know.”

A pause, you reach across the table for your mug but she pulls it from your reach.

There’s a good chance Tara is talking about the last conversation you two had before you found Wes and Chad, but of course you’d hate to assume.

So you wait for her to continue, after a moment her expression softens slightly and she nudges your coffee mug back across the table to you.

“For what it’s worth, I’m rightfully in the same boat. Worrying certain people are only around for information, for wanting to know things rather than-“ she stops, clearing her throat.

That’s when you get it. The hot and cold.

“Look… I’ve never once been dishonest with you, I’ve got no reason to be” you start slowly, giving your still aching shoulder a little roll before reaching across the table to accept your mug back.

“But-“ you pause, as your fingers brush against hers, neither of you acknowledge it as you pull the coffee mug back to your side “unfortunately that’s the one thing I’m under contract not to tell you, which is who hired me. You already know why I’m here, and if there’s one thing I can promise you is that I’m not using you for any reason.”

She is clearly skeptical, you can tell by the way she looks at you. But you can also see that slight softness between her brow, like she wants to believe you.

You sip your coffee, sitting it to the side before placing your palms flat on the table top, “ask me anything you want, no pool games, no deals, no trades, no bullshit. And then I’ll do the same.”

That look returns, the one Tara gave you a week ago when you’d asked her out for drinks.

“You still are trying to pick my brain” Tara says with an amused tone, you offer a smile and shrug.

“I wanna know you, is that so hard to believe?” You say as you nudge your coffee mug back over to her, a silent offer.

Tara eyes you, then the mug, then you again. She’s fighting back a smile, something you’ve noticed she does a lot with you. In a way you consider it a win, because it means she’s starting to like you even when she doesn’t want to.

“Fine” she agrees, pushing the coffee mug back across the table to you before crossing her arms, “but you’re on thin ice hot shot.”

You grin, trying not to feel triumphant for finally managing to somewhat get through to her.

“First things first, what’s your favorite scary movie?”

The disapproving look Tara gives you makes you laugh harder than it should, which in return, makes her smile more than she should.

And for the first time in a while, a sense of normalcy envelops you both. It won’t last, but for now, it’s nice.

previous, next

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x you

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dahliah-blackened · 4 days ago

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The Golden Boy (Pt.2)

Guys! Thank you so much for the love on part 1! I've had so many ideas rushing through my head for new fanfics and storylines, but my mind always goes back to the classic starved to stuffed. What can I say? I'm a sucker for it. This is part 2 of my story with Julien and Kobi where Julien finally gets a nice meal, perhaps he indulges a bit too much. Contains a little hunger, food as comfort, stuffing, and belly rubs. Also they may or may not kiss at the end :3

Julien woke up late, sunlight streaming through his bedroom window, but he didn’t move. The bed was a fortress of comfort, the only thing that had felt remotely like relief in the past few weeks. His body ached with exhaustion, and despite his stomach growling with need, he buried his face deeper into his pillow. Today was his day off. The day he’d spend in bed, in peace, no shifts to rush to, no meals to plate. Just silence.

But then, his phone buzzed on the nightstand.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes, reaching over lazily to grab the phone. His thumb hovered over the screen before he even opened his eyes, and for a moment, he considered just turning it off and going back to sleep. But the buzzing didn’t stop. Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and glanced at the screen. It was a message from Kobi.

"Hey! I’m making dinner tonight. You should come over :0"

The offer was tempting but he quickly shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was drag himself out of bed and go anywhere. Not today. But his stomach growled again, more insistent this time, reminding him of how empty he was. Julien winced, trying to ignore it. He stared at the message for a few more seconds before his stomach let out another long groan. Julien sighed, placing a hand over it and typed a response, his fingers moving slower than usual. “What’s on the menu?” Her reply came quickly. “You’ll see. Be here at 4 :)”

Julien let out a heavy sigh and dropped his phone onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was hard to ignore the pull of her offer. He was hungry—starving, really—and the thought of getting a proper meal, something that didn’t come out of a plastic container, was more enticing than the warmth of his bed. For a long moment, he lay there, the weight of everything pressing down on him. His stomach was still growling, demanding his attention. Finally, with another groan, he set an alarm and promptly rolled back into his quilt.

Julien’s fingers tapped restlessly against the steering wheel as the car hummed along the road. He turned the radio up louder, trying to drown out the constant growls from his stomach. It had been like this all day as he drifted in and out of sleep, the hunger gnawing at him, refusing to be ignored. But as much as his stomach wanted to scream at him, he couldn’t ignore the bigger, deeper hunger—a hunger for something more than food.

Kobi.

She’d been slipping into his life in ways he hadn’t expected. Over the past month, they’d grown closer, almost without him realizing it. It had started with the night she treated him at the diner after he’d nearly passed out from exhaustion. A simple meal, but she had seen him for what he really was—the broken, burned-out shell of the person he used to be.

And she hadn’t backed off.

Sometimes, she’d show up at his apartment with takeout—just enough to make him feel human again, like someone cared. Other times, she’d surprise him with a home-cooked meal, though he knew better than to admit how much those small gestures meant. But even with all of that, they hadn’t spent time together when Julien wasn’t utterly exhausted. When he wasn’t on the edge of collapse from overworking himself, struggling to hold everything together. Kobi had seen it all—the cracks in his armor, the vulnerability he desperately tried to hide. And now she was offering to cook for him again, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t just about feeding him. It was about being there, about sharing a moment without the chaos of their separate worlds.

He pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex, the car’s engine humming softly as he parked in front of the building. For a brief second, he let his hands rest on the wheel, taking a deep breath. His thoughts swirled—he couldn’t believe how quickly things had changed. He had been so sure that keeping everyone at arm’s length was the only way to protect himself, but with Kobi, it didn’t seem that simple. With a sigh, he grabbed a bag from the passenger seat and got out of the car. His stomach groaned again, louder than ever, as he walked toward the entrance.

Kobi stood in the middle of her kitchen, her eyes darting from the pot of simmering broth to the dishes spread out across the dining room table. The aroma of savory meat, rich spices, and roasted vegetables filled the apartment, making her mouth water in anticipation. But she wasn’t hungry—not yet. She was too preoccupied with her thoughts, wondering if she’d gone too far.

The spread before her was nothing short of extravagant—more food than she’d ever made for herself in one sitting, let alone for someone else. There were bowls of perfectly seasoned rice, thick slices of tender braised beef, and a fragrant, simmering soup that had taken her hours to perfect. The mix of vegetables were perfectly caramelized, a beautiful golden brown. She had gone all out, hoping to impress Julien, but now, with everything ready, she couldn’t help but second-guess herself. Was this too much? The kitchen was a disaster, the counters covered in chopped onions, flour, and scattered bits of vegetables. She’d barely had time to clean up as she moved from one dish to another, the rhythm of cooking making her feel alive in a way she hadn’t experienced in years.

The dishes looked beautiful, almost too beautiful for her tiny apartment. The thought of Julien seeing it all—the food, the effort she’d put in—made her feel self-conscious. What if he thought it was strange? What if he felt uncomfortable, like she was trying too hard? She had no reason to feel this nervous. But something about Julien, how he always seemed on edge, how he tried so hard to hide how tired and hungry he was, made her want to do this for him. He deserved to eat well. He deserved to indulge a little.

Kobi wiped her hands on the apron she’d tied around her waist, the fabric covered with flour and splashes of sauce. A glance at the clock told her it was almost time. He should be here any minute. With one last look at the food, she gave the pot a quick stir and took a deep breath. Hopefully, Julien would appreciate this. If not… well, at least she’d tried. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the knock at the door. She wasn’t sure why her pulse was pounding in her chest, but it felt like she was about to face something far more significant than just serving dinner.

When she opened the door, there he was. Standing there in casual clothes—loose-fitting jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers—a far cry from his usual restaurant uniform. There was something different about him like this, something younger, more approachable, more human. The tired lines on his face weren’t as harsh, and for a moment, Kobi could see the guy beneath the exhaustion. Undeniably handsome, disheveled in the best way, and almost normal.

His expression was a mix of uncertainty and determination, as if he wasn’t sure if he was walking into a formal dinner or a casual hangout. He looked up at her, offering a sheepish smile, and held up the bag. “I, uh… brought a bottle of wine. I figured I couldn’t show up empty-handed,” he said, his voice quieter than usual, a faint flush on his cheeks. Kobi blinked, trying to suppress a smile. She wasn’t sure if it was his awkwardness or the unexpected gesture that made her heart race even faster. She stepped aside and gestured for him to come in.

“Wine, huh?” she said, an eyebrow raising as she glanced at the bottle in his hand. She could tell it was one of those expensive bottles people only bought when they were trying to impress someone. Julien shifted a little under her gaze, and for a moment, Kobi could see the self-consciousness creeping in. It was endearing, in a way. She pulled him inside, closing the door behind him, and gestured toward the dining room table where the spread was laid out. His eyes widened as he took it all in, clearly surprised by the sheer amount of food. “Is… all of this for me?” Julien asked, his voice incredulous but touched with a hint of awe. “Of course not,” Kobi replied, raising an eyebrow, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “I was planning to eat it all by myself. Yes it’s for you, stupid.”

Julien smirked, though there was an unmistakable gratitude in his eyes. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t set the bar too high,” he said, setting the bottle down on the counter. Kobi rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “You’re about to find out just how high I’ve set the bar.” She gestured to the table. “I hope you’re hungry.” Julien chuckled under his breath, his gaze lingering on the food for a moment longer.

Kobi waved him toward the table, her hands full as she tended to the last touches of the meal. She turned off the stove before reaching for the corkscrew and worked it into the bottle. Julien’s gaze drifted across the spread before him, his fingers twitching against his arms. The dishes were vibrant and fragrant, filling the small apartment with the kind of warmth that didn’t just come from the heat of the stove. Platters of roasted meat glistened under the soft kitchen light, fluffy rice steamed beside them, and a dozen side dishes added pops of color to the table. It was a feast, plain and simple—more food than he could ever remember sitting down to eat in one place.

Julien exhaled, running a hand through his dark hair. His body ached, the exhaustion from weeks of nonstop work settling into his limbs now that he had finally stopped moving. And yet, despite everything, he felt… lighter. "Come sit already," he muttered as Kobi buzzed around the kitchen. "I’m starving over here.” Kobi snorted, grabbing her glass and making her way to the table. "Well, we can’t have that now, can we?" She set her glass down, finally sliding into the chair across from him. "Alright, now you can eat." Julien didn’t need to be told twice. He picked up his fork and, after a brief pause, dug in. The moment he took his first bite, he realized just how much he had been missing out on.

Kobi tucked into her own plate, silently patting herself on the back as the flavors hit her tongue. Still, what really mattered was across from her. She glanced at Julien, watching as he reached for another bite—then another. His pace wasn’t rushed, but there was a certain eagerness in the way he took larger portions, in the way he barely hesitated before going back for more. She watched him swallow mouthful after mouthful of her cooking. If she hadn’t already known how hungry he must’ve been, this was confirmation enough.

She took a sip of wine before clearing her throat. “So?” Julien barely looked up. “So what?” Kobi rolled her eyes. “Don’t ‘so what’ me. The food, idiot.” Julien finally met her gaze, fork still poised over his plate. His expression was unreadable for a second before he smirked. “Not bad.” Kobi snorted. “Not bad?” Julien shrugged, the smirk widening as he picked up another bite. “Alright, it’s great. My compliments to the chef.” Kobi clicked her tongue but couldn’t fight back the small grin tugging at her lips.

He chewed for a moment, then, more seriously, added, “You should go into fine dining.” Kobi barked out a laugh, nearly choking on her sip of wine. “Yeah, no thanks.” Julien raised an eyebrow. “What? You’d do well.” Kobi shook her head, stabbing at a piece of meat. “After seeing the way fine dining treats you, I take that as an insult.” Julien shrugged. “It’s not all bad.” Kobi shot him a flat look. “You literally ran out of there crying not too long ago.” Julien flinched, shoulders tensing. “Okay, that was…” He exhaled sharply, rubbing his temple. “That was just a bad night.” Kobi hummed, unimpressed. “Yeah, and I don’t do bad nights.” She popped a roasted brussel sprout into her mouth, chewing pointedly before adding, “I like my job. I like my customers, and I don't like being told what to do.”

Julien exhaled through his nose, leaning back slightly. “I keep forgetting how stubborn you are.” Kobi smirked. “And yet you keep expecting me to change.” Julien shook his head, but there was something softer in his gaze now, something thoughtful as he watched her. He lifted his wine glass, taking a slow sip before muttering, “Still think you’d kill it.” Kobi scoffed but didn’t argue. Instead, she just reached for her own glass and took a long drink. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but she was starting to enjoy these moments with him.

Julien hadn’t realized how tense his body had been until the warmth of the food began to spread through him, chasing away the lingering ache in his stomach. Each bite settled in his gut like an anchor, filling the empty space that had become all too familiar. He told himself he’d pace himself this time—wouldn’t let hunger make a fool out of him like before. The last thing he wanted was another night of curling up on his couch, clutching his overfilled stomach as he eagerly wolfed down whatever meal Kobi had brought him. But then Kobi reached across the table, dumping another generous helping of vegetables onto his plate without hesitation. “You’re slowing down.” Julien stared at the new portion, then at her. “Yeah, I’m getting kinda full.” Kobi raised an eyebrow. “Full?” He only offered a shrug. She snorted. “Please. You’ll be starving again by the end of the week. Might as well keep going.”

Julien huffed, pushing his plate an inch away. “I don’t need to keep going.” Kobi didn’t miss a beat. “And I didn’t make all this to go to waste.” Julien groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “You’re unbelievable.” She offered a sly smirk “And you’re underfed,” she shot back. “Eat.” Julien sighed, glancing down at his plate. His stomach, for all his protests, didn’t exactly disagree with her. It had been so long since he’d had a meal like this, he might as well take advantage. With a reluctant shake of his head, he picked his fork back up. “You’re gonna regret this when I throw up all over your nice table cloth.” Kobi just smirked. “Bring it on.”

As the night rolled on and the plates of food on the table dwindled, Kobi leaned back in her chair with a dramatic huff, setting her fork down in defeat. Across from her, Julien was much less obvious about it, delicately wiping his mouth with his napkin. But Kobi wasn’t fooled. She saw the slight shift in his posture, the way his hand hovered near his stomach as if debating whether to rub at the discomfort building there. She hesitated for a moment before clearing her throat. “So, uh… I also made dessert.” Julien let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “There’s no way I have room for it.” Kobi shrugged, leaning her cheek against her palm. “I dunno. I heard somewhere that sugar helps expand your stomach or something.” Julien gave her a dubious look. “Is that true?” Kobi tilted her head, feigning thought. “Beats me. I’m not a biologist.”

Julien rolled his eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. Instead, he watched as Kobi moved through the kitchen with practiced ease. He leaned back slightly, careful not to press too hard against the edge of the table. His stomach was working through the sheer amount of food he’d just put away, a low, sluggish churn settling in its depths. It wasn’t painful—not yet, at least. Just… unfamiliar. He wasn’t used to this kind of fullness, the warm weight of a proper meal sitting heavy inside him. It was a welcome change from the emptiness he usually ignored, but at the same time, it was almost too much. Guilt flared in his chest, chased quickly by embarrassment as he looked at the near empty table. Had he really eaten that much? He hadn’t meant to overdo it, but with the way Kobi had kept pushing food onto his plate, and the way it had tasted—

He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, shoving the thought aside.

Shifting in his seat, he cleared his throat. “I’ll help clean up.” Kobi snorted, already loading dishes into the dishwasher and dragging out Tupperware. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the guest. Just sit there and digest or whatever.” Julien frowned, pushing himself to stand. “I can handle stacking some plates, Kobi.” She shot him a look over her shoulder. “Sit your ass down, Julien.” He exhaled sharply through his nose, somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. He was too full to argue. Begrudgingly, he eased back into his chair, resting his arms on the table as he watched her move through the kitchen.

Julien leaned back, letting his eyes slip closed for just a moment. His stomach, now fully aware that it had been fed, seemed to grow heavier by the second. He pressed a careful hand against it, feeling the taut dome beneath his hoodie. The initial warmth of the meal had shifted into something weightier—still not painful, but enough that he knew adding anything else would be pushing it. He immediately tensed when he heard the fridge open.

He watched as Kobi pulled out a small porcelain bowl, her expression satisfied as she grabbed two spoons. “Make a little more room.” Julien’s stomach gave a weak gurgle in protest, and he shifted in his seat. “Kobi, I—” “Nope.” She turned, setting the bowl down with a quiet clink. “I’m not listening to whatever excuse you’re about to make.” Julien sighed through his nose, watching as she lifted the lid, revealing a familiar golden broth with soft, round dumplings floating in it. He blinked in surprise. Tangyuan. Sweet glutinous rice balls he had grown to look forward to on every lunar new year.

Kobi shifted, suddenly looking unsure. “You mentioned once that your mom made these for you when you were a kid, so…” She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Figured I’d give it a shot.” For a moment, Julien didn’t know what to say. The scent of warm ginger syrup curled around him, bringing back memories he hadn’t expected. His chest tightened—not uncomfortably, but in a way he wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge. His stomach, however, protested again, reminding him that it was already far past full. “Kobi, I don’t know, my stomach—” She shot him a look. “It’s just soup and a few rice balls, Lee. You’re telling me you can’t make room for that?”

Julien hesitated, glancing at the bowl. Kobi was watching him, expectant but not forceful. There was no demand in her eyes, no challenge. Just an unspoken hope that he would accept this, that he would share this moment with her. “…Fine.” He exhaled, shifting his hand from his overfilled belly as she slid a spoon toward him. “But only a little.” She smirked. “That’s more like it.”

Julien set his spoon down with a quiet clink, exhaling as he leaned back against the chair. His stomach felt impossibly full, stretched tight beneath the weight of everything he had eaten. The warmth of the tangyuan lingered in his chest, but so did the unmistakable discomfort of having pushed past his limits. Kobi, stretching her arms over her head as the food settled in her own belly, glanced at him with a raised brow. “You look like you’re about to pop.”

“I knew I’d overeaten about three plates ago,” Julien admitted, pressing a palm lightly over the noticeable curve of his stomach. “But someone is stubborn.” Kobi scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I’m the stubborn one.” He smirked—at least, he tried to. The way his stomach protested even the slightest movement had him grimacing instead. Her eyes softened slightly, and she sighed. “C’mon, before you fall into a food coma at my table.”

Before he could argue, she reached over and took his hands in hers, pulling him gently to his feet. Julien let her lead him toward the couch, though the movement made his stomach churn uncomfortably. He let out a breath as he sank down onto the cushions, immediately settling his hands over his aching middle. His fingers splayed over the curve, pressing lightly as though that might relieve some of the pressure.

Kobi slid in next to him, tucking her legs up as she turned toward him. “You really don’t know how to pace yourself, huh?” Julien scoffed. “I wasn’t given much of a choice.” She shrugged, strawberry blonde locks falling in her eyes as her bun loosened. “You could’ve stopped.” He gave her a tired, knowing look. “Could I?” Kobi huffed, but a smile tugged at her lips. She let him sit like that for a moment, watching the way his brows furrowed as he tried to ease the strain in his stomach. Then, after a beat, she shifted closer.

Gently, carefully, she reached out, resting a palm against the firm swell of his stomach. Julien tensed—she could feel it beneath her fingertips—but he didn’t pull away. He wasn’t used to being touched like this. Her palm moved in slow, careful circles over his bulging stomach, pressing just enough to soothe the discomfort but not enough to make it worse. His skin burned beneath his hoodie, warmth pooling in his face just as much as in his stomach.

“…You don’t have to do that,” he muttered, clearing his throat. Kobi only scoffed. “Yeah? Well, it’s kinda my fault.” Julien huffed out a short laugh, but it ended on a small, involuntary sigh as her touch pressed just right against the ache. Kobi, ignoring the way her heart was pounding, let her hands still for a moment. Then, before she could think better of it, she hooked her fingers under the hem of his hoodie, pushing it up just enough to press her palms against his bare skin.

Julien flinched. “Relax,” Kobi muttered, even as her own breath caught slightly. Her hands were warm as she resumed those slow, steady circles. His stomach was more muscular than she expected, the skin warm beneath her fingertips, but still taut from how much he had eaten. Julien sucked in a sharp breath, hands twitching slightly where they rested at his sides. “…This is weird,” he said, voice barely above a murmur.

Kobi felt the way his stomach tensed slightly beneath her palms. “Yeah,” she admitted. “Maybe.” She didn’t stop, though. And Julien—despite the initial flustered tension in his shoulders—didn’t ask her to. Instead, after a moment, he exhaled slowly, letting himself sink into her touch, into the warmth of it. Julien swallowed, his eyelids growing heavy as the warmth of her touch, the rhythm of her movements, eased the dull ache. Kobi shifted, adjusting her position as she continued to rub deep, slow circles into Julien’s stomach.

And then—without thinking too hard about it—she moved to straddle his lap.

Julien stiffened. Her touch, once just comforting, suddenly felt intimate in a way that made heat shoot up his spine. His breath hitched as her fingers pressed deeper into his stomach, working out the tension, and—God help him—it felt good. Kobi, seemingly unaffected, only murmured, “This’ll help more,” as she leaned in, bringing their faces closer. Julien swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. His hands twitched at his sides, unsure where to go—if he should hold onto her hips, if that would be too much, if it was already too much.

But the slow, methodical movement of her hands, the way her thumbs pressed just right, had his eyelids growing heavy, his body sinking into hers. And then—the tension changed. It wasn’t just about his overfilled stomach anymore. Their faces were close now. So close he could see the flecks of brown and green in her eyes, the way her breath hitched just like his. The air shifted, something unspoken passing between them, something undeniable.

Kobi hesitated, her lips parting slightly. Julien’s gaze flickered downward—brief, fleeting. They both leaned in. The kiss was slow at first, tentative. But then—deeper. Julien’s stomach pressed against Kobi’s middle as he pulled her closer, the ache momentarily forgotten in favor of the warmth spreading through him for an entirely different reason.

When they finally pulled apart, Julien exhaled shakily, his chocolate brown eyes still half-lidded as he took her in. He smirked. “…You’re red as hell, Kobes.” Kobi blinked, heat burning across her face. Scowling, she sank her fingers into his belly. Julien yelped, his hands drawing up to meet hers. “That’s what you get, stupid,” she muttered, cheeks still flaming. He groaned, glaring weakly at her. “That was uncalled for—” But neither of them pulled away.

And both of them knew—moving forward, everything was different.

#hunger fic #hunger kink #stomach growling #oc #oneshot #stomach kink #hungry #stuffed stomach #feeding kink

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gayf1hoe · 6 months ago

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Part 1

As I sit down with my bowl of cereal I begin to open my laptop and see an abundance of emails that I have ignored over the course of the past few weeks, because I've been having a full media and work detox.

As the emails load I see the latest email is from Gunther so I decide I best not ignore it otherwise if I ignore it like I did when I first joined the team he will give me a lecture about how rude it is to ignore emails. Opening it I scan it with my eyes whilst spooning my cereal into my mouth. I read that Gunther has called for a meeting for today which isn't much of a surprise given it's only a few weeks until pre-season testing and I don't even know who my teammate is. After last season I need a good teammate. Nikita was a great person but a terrible teammate. It was like Haas had only one driver driving for them because he spent half of his time spinning off the track or going into the wall so this year I need a teammate who will be able to score points alongside me.

I continue scrolling through the emails and curse myself for putting myself in this position, when people say F1 drivers just drive a car they are so wrong. They should try keeping up with all the emails and brand deals we have to do.

I finish my breakfast and quickly jump in the shower and dig out an outfit from my draws that are more than due a clear out but that's very far down on my very long to do list that never seems to be fully complete.

I double check I have everything before shutting the door to my apartment and heading to the factory where the meeting is, thankfully it isn't far away as when I joined Haas I bought an apartment close to the factory and moved.

As I approach the entrance I am handed my ID pass and make my way to Guenther's office. The building has become like a second home to me, in fact I have probably spent more time here in the past 2 years than I have at home, it's full of loads of Haas memorabilia such as the burnt Halo that saved Grosejans life, or the chassis of previous cars. Unfortunately the trophy cabinet isn't as grand or as full as Red Bull's or Ferrari's but it still displays the team's short history.

Eventually after greeting everyone who I haven't seen for a few months I reach the door of Gunther's office and confidently knock and wait for a response from within, it doesn't take long for him to say "come in".

Whilst he is my team principal he is also like a father figure to me and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss his dry humour and constant use of profane langauge over the course of the break.

I take a seat opposite him and see that there is another chair next to me so I assume someone else will be joining us shortly. We take a brief moment to catch up after the break and we discuss what we did and he asks if my swearing is under control yet. As last year every team radio and interview I almost certainly used a swear word, although I don't think he has much room to talk.

I could tell how stressed he was last year having Nikita crashing his car every 5 seconds, Dimitry threatening to pull out the Uralkali sponsor and having 2 rookies on his team was never going to be easy but I don't think he envisaged it being that hard, last year Haas managed to get 112 points all of which came from me so by the end of the year I was very burnt out and spent the entire break doing absolutely nothing.

The conversation bounces back and forth until there is a knock on the door causing silence to hit the room, Gunther goes over to the door and greets who ever is there but I can't see or hear who it is until Gunther moves out the way and motions to the chair, causing me to stand up and prepare to shake the person's hand what I didn't expect was to see that my new teammate was Carlos Sainz.

I knew Carlos was out of a seat this year, with much controversy behind it. I just never would have expected him to come to Haas, it's not that I'm unhappy with the team choosing him but he's going from one of the top teams to a team that is struggling to stay in the fight to be a midfielder.

Another reason I'm stood in silence is because well, Carlos is gorgeous there is no denying that and his natural charm makes him irresistible. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Gunther repeatedly saying my name until I turn my head towards him and he then motions with his head for me to shake his hand. I shake his hand, make eye contact with him and say hello.

We both take a seat and Gunther walks around to his side of the desk, it kind of feels like you've been called to the Principal's office, even if you know you have done nothing wrong there is always nerves in your stomach.

"So Y/N if you can't tell by now Carlos is your new teammate" Gunther says in his typical blunt tone that makes me smile.

"Yes I had gathered that much Gunther"

We spend ages talking about media and contracts but it's more focused on informing Carlos on how the team works and what the expectations are although I can only assume they are a lot lower compared to Ferrari.

We are doing pre-season testing and revealing the livery in 2 weeks time so there are a lot of things to sort out in a short period of time. But after the meeting Gunther lets us go to lunch and it provides me and Carlos with an opportunity to get to know each other. before we go into the simulator for practice.

The lunch hall is quite full as the preparations for the next season are very much in full swing and with MoneyGram being the new sponsor there is a lot to change, I wish I could say I will miss having Nikita as a teammate but his father and Uralkali made my first season and absolute nightmare constantly accusing me of having a different or better car to Mazepin, I can't even begin count how many times my car was inspected by the FIA last year.

We collect our food and head to a quiet conference room as the dining hall is flooded by engineers, designers and loads of other staff that makes it barely possible to actually hear anyone. We eventually reach a quiet conference room and place our lunch down at the table before sitting down. For the initial 10 minutes we are just sat in silence before I'm the one to ask the first question.

"So why Haas, you must have been pretty desperate for that F1 seat? I say trying to break the silence with some humour.

"No, I wanted a team that would challenge me and I thought you would make a great teammate" as he finishes his sentence I have to look down because I can feel my cheeks blushing bright red like I've just seen my high-school crush.

He has great charisma, humour and looks and he is an extremely talented driver, the polar opposite to my previous teammate so I am elated at the fact he is my team mate although I'm sure my attraction to him will at some point cause a predicament that will arouse drama for us and the team. I can't help but admire him from the opposing side of the table, I probably look obsessed right now - but maybe that's an accurate description.

Throughout lunch we get to know each other more and more. He speaks about what it was like to have Charles as a teammate and I speak about what it was like to have Nikita as a teammate and I think I win at having the more Interesting stories.

But no sooner than lunch had started we have to go and do testing in the simulator which is an all too common thing in preparing for the season however I have never been a fan of simulators I don't feel they give the proper experience and plus 20 to 30 years ago there was no such thing as simulator testing and the drivers managed just as well. Me and Carlos go to separate rooms for the simulator tests and after we have to get our seats moulded so we don't see eachother until about 5 PM when we are allowed to go back home.

Unlike Carlos I live near the factory however he still lives in Spain so he's renting a hotel room. When we meet in the lobby I suggest we go for dinner at a nearby restaurant I know well and he agrees. We both head to my Audi and take a seat, "nice car" he compliments as he buckles his seat belt. We begin driving and in typical England fashion it starts to rain and the sound of rain pelting against the metal is a sound that feels the air of silence. But eventually Carlos sparks a conversation between us that is more personal and detached from racing.

"So do you have a partner?" He asks "nope, painfully single and probably will be forever" I reply further questioning "What about you?".

"Same, still single" he replies, "but sure someone with your good looks would be able to find someone" I instantly regret saying that it sounds like I'm hitting on him and he can clearly tell that I'm embarrassed.

"No need to feel shy, I am very honoured that you think I'm good-looking" whilst his response calms me, I still can't help but feel a little embarrassed still.

Shortly after making a fool of myself we pull into the parking bay of the restaurant and step out into the rain. We hastily rush into the restaurant taking refuge from the rain and are guided to our table by the waiter I know very well.

We are sitting down at the table and the waiter comes by again, "Now Y/N will it be the usual" he says whilst placing his hand on my shoulder, Carlos quickly averts his attention away from us and back to the menu after he's finished taking our orders Carlos comments on his behaviour.

"He's very touchy don't you think, maybe he likes you"

I laugh at his comment, "please I know his mother and he's so not my type"

"Well what is your type?" He presses on.

"The complete opposite of him" I state trying to give as little away as possible.

"Anyway, what's your type?" I ask, trying to deflect.

"Well I don't have a specific type I'm open to all kinds of people" He answers and as he finishes our food comes out putting an abrupt end to that conversation.

Over the course of dinner we talk about the plans for the forthcoming weeks and what the reaction is going to be like when everyone finds out that he's going to be driving for Haas. I can't lie, I can't wait to see the out roar of disappointment when they find out Carlos Sainz, one of the best drivers on the grid is in a Haas. I bet it's an image some can't even begin to imagine.

After dinner I drive Carlos back to his hotel which isn't too far from the restaurant and as I am about to drive off he invites me in.

"Hey, do you want to come in for a glass of wine?" He asks whilst undoing his seat belt.

"I can't, I'm driving" I say.

"Well you can just stay the night", I think about it momentarily and agree to come in. I quickly park the car and walk into the hotel with Carlos.

When we reach his room he quickly digs around in his pocket and pulls out his key card and opens the door. His room is more grand and well decorated than my own apartment and it's fixtures are more extravagant than anything I had ever seen.

Carlos walks over to the mini bar and pours two glasses of red wine and hands me one as I'm walking over to take a seat. I take a moment to admire the rest of the room, and wonder where Haas found the money in the budget for such a nice hotel.

We continue talking about our F1 careers and whilst mine is only 2 seasons old his is much more interesting than mine. We also talk about our personal lives, friends, family, relationships, hobbies and soon one glass of wine turns into a whole bottle.

Whilst I'm not drunk I'm certainly a little tipsy and probably not in the right mind frame to drive or walk home so I decide to take Carlos' offer of staying the night so I quickly get changed into some shorts and a t- shirt Carlos had given me and climb into the bed. Yes it's a little weird sharing the bed with my new team mate but I have known Carlos since last year so I guess it's not that bad.

A little after I had gotten into the bed Carlos comes out of the bathroom and gets into the bed next to me and turns the TV on.

"What do you want to watch?" He asks.

"I don't mind," I respond.

Shortly after he picks a TV show I drift off to sleep and don't really remember much.

Waking up in the morning I feel a headache and a slight hangover sweep over me. I hadn't had a single alcoholic drink since the last race of the season so it hit me pretty hard.

With my eyes feeling extremely sensitive the slight slither of light that bypasses the blinds peirces into my eyes causing me to let out an audible groan that causes Carlos to wake up.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"Aside from a banging headache I should be fine" I say, pulling myself out of the bed and walking over to his table where there is a pair of sunglasses and putting them on to reduce the strain on my eyes.

I walk into the bathroom and have a shower all whilst keeping the sunglasses on my headache only seems to intensify as time passes.

I get changed in the bedroom whilst Carlos has a shower and we have to be at the factory in less than an hour so I only manage to have an apple and a glass of water for my breakfast and due to my headache I can't drive, so I entrust Carlos with my most expensive possession and pray he doesn't have an accident, but as he is an ex Ferrari driver I have faith in his competence and driving ability.

Although Carlos is a good driver I don't think he understands the speed limit is a limit and not a target and I'm sure when I go home there will be a speeding ticket in the post. However we do arrive much earlier than expected so I guess that's a positive. As we walk into the factory the smell of automotive oil is a smell that doesn't help my hangover at all.

We are left standing around for about 5 minutes before the head of Technical Engineering arrives and tells us what we are doing today, not before he questions me.

"Y/N is there a reason why you are wearing sunglasses indoors when it is winter?".

"I've got a little headache" I reply but he already knows.

"As long as your hangover doesn't impact your performance today I will look past it" he says unlocking the doors to the simulators.

Today is the day that Haas will announce that Carlos is joining the team and we have been informed we are filming a short video which will cause many people to have the shock of their lives.

3 hours of my day is spent in the simulator running through every single setting the car has and the different types of balance settings the car has. It's quite boring but it's also important.

The media manager comes by and pulls me and Carlos out to film the video and we have to do so many retakes because we can't stop laughing and I keep on saying "Uralkali Haas" instead of "MoneyGram Haas" but the final result doesn't show how many times we had to go through it.

"Hi guys my name is Y/N L/N, and I'm Carlos Sainz and we are the drivers for MoneyGram Haas F1 Team"

The team are then going to take that speech and make a promo using photos of me and Carlos in the sim and in our race suits and by 2 PM the video is out and the Internet is going wild especially the other drivers who had no idea Carlos was going to Haas.

I get a text message from George who knows about my slight crush on Carlos and says:

"Don't get too carried away" I laugh at his message and Carlos asks what I'm laughing at but I just say it's a meme, and technically I'm not lying because I am talking to the most meme-able man ever.

Over the course of the next hour the media is going absolutely berserk. They never saw this coming and quite frankly I can't blame them because I didn't either and I don't think Gunther expected Carlos to actually say yes.

Mid way through scrolling through the comments Carlos comes over and says, "I'm going out for dinner tonight with Lando, George and Alex and they told me to tell you that you are also invited" I thank him for telling me and I get back to doing some admin tasks to pass time and clear things off my extensive to-do list.

As the day progresses my hangover eases off and I manage to cope without wearing sunglasses and I vow to myself that I'm not going to drink for a few weeks, but these self promises never seem to stick.

I'm sitting in one of the conference rooms meticulously reading through emails, rules and regulation changes, and other miscellaneous things like sponsorship information. It's all quite banal and mundane but I'm in a great flow and manage to read most of the stuff that I had been tasked with so it should make Gunther and the management team very happy, last year I didn't really make an effort and didn't fully comprehend all the rules and may have accidentally touched Zhou's Rear wing in parc ferme and it was a costly mistake that resulted in me being shouted at by Gunther like a school child.

I decide that I have read enough for one day so I decide to collect my belongings and head down to the reception area to wait for Carlos. He is taking a while so I begin to pace up and down admiring the past cars that are on display showcasing the history of Haas, but eventually Carlos does turn up.

"Sorry I'm late, Gunther was lecturing me" he says sincerely.

"It's fine he does that often" I say putting my coat on and removing my keys from my pocket.

"So what restaurant are we going to?" I add.

"It's a Thai restaurant that Alex found, I'll drive if you want me to".

I think for a moment but see he clearly wants to drive so I chuck him my keys and we exit the building.

When we arrive the guys are already standing outside waiting for us and as we step out the car George is giving me his usual devilish smile that is insinuating something. We greet each other and shake hands and hug each other and they are all excited as they haven't seen each other in a few months. Despite being in F1 for a year I kept myself to myself and maintained a private life and didn't really connect with other drivers apart from George, Lance and Pierre so it's a little awkward for me as I have barely said 10 words to Lando or Alex.

We eventually head in and we are shown to our table. I try to sit next to Carlos but Lando gets there before me so I sit down in-between Alex and George.

I take this time as an opportunity to get to know Alex as we haven't really had much time to talk.

"So how's things going at Williams?" Is the first question that comes to mind but given the results of the season I can sort of make my own answer up.

"Yeah it was a tough season but we are working hard this year, anyway how are things going at Haas especially after Mazepin?"

"Going well, obviously I have a new teammate now so hopefully more points and hopefully the car spends more time on the track than in the wall".

He laughs lightly at my little dig at Nikita and then asks how I'm finding Carlos being my new teammate and I can't really think of an answer as we have only done two days of simulator testing so I can't really give a valid answer so I simply reply "it's going well, I think we get on" George hears my response and I see him pulling that grin again and I lightly hit his leg with my foot under the table causing his grin to dissipate.

Over the course of dinner Lando and Carlos are constantly touching each other and joking with one another and for some reason I feel angry, jealous?

I know I have nothing to be jealous of, it's not as if he's my boyfriend or even remotely interested in me so I have no idea why I'm feeling these feelings that are so irrational.

At one point Lando is holding on to one of Carlos' arms and I excuse myself from the table and head to the bathroom where I take a moment to just cool down and splash some water on my face. I don't intend to make an embarrassment out of myself over a guy I have only really known for 2 days. As I'm patting my face dry with the paper towel I hear the door behind me creaking open and see George enter.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"I'm fine just struggling with a hangover still" I reply.

"You know you are one of two people after Carlos and Lando is fierce competition. He won't let Carlos go that easily, but don't give up."

"I'm not after Carlos I'm after a race win and more points are the only 2 things I'm after in this world, besides relationships just get in the way" I start heading for the door and George places his hand on my shoulder.

"Believe me trying to block him out it won't work, I've seen Lando try and fail doing that. And you are teammates you are going to constantly be reminded of him"

"Thanks for the words of encouragement George" I say sarcastically before heading back to the table.

I manage to finish my meal and decide I have had enough of watching Lando fanboy over Carlos and say I'm going home and I ask Carlos for my car key.

When he asks why I'm going I say I'm just tired and he asks if I want him to drop me off but I tell him it's fine and he can stay and enjoy his evening.

As I walk out to my car and press unlock I hear someone call my name and turn to see Lando running towards me.

"Is everything alright?" I ask

"Everything is fine, just do me a favour and don't make things difficult for me and Carlos," he says.

"I'm sorry what do you mean exactly"

"Well I like him and I want to get with him at some point but I know you like him too so please let him go and settle for second best"

When he says that I become enraged and say something I probably shouldn't have.

"I guess you know a lot about being second best considering Oscar is always out qualifying you and getting more points than you, McLaren must really love you to still keep extending your contract but you will never be as good as Oscar"

"Don't be bitter Y/N it's not a good look"

During the drive home I am fueled by anger and I have gone over the speed limit a few times but at this point I don't really care, I have never been so annoyed by a single person.

I spent a year with Nikita and Dimitry Mazepin. I thought I had the patience of a Saint to deal with them, yet some McLaren driver comes along, makes a few comments and I see red.

I fumble around with my house keys before eventually finding the right one and open the door. The entire apartment is dead silent apart from the faint ticking of the clock. I throw my keys onto the small table by the front door and sit on the chair by the kitchen Island sipping on a glass of water when my phone pings and it's a message from Carlos.

'Hey Y/N me and Lando are going to a karting track tomorrow for a quadrant video. Would you like to come?"

I can't think of any excuse to get out of it so I text back "sure" despite the fact I'm completely unsure and a day with Lando and Carlos will really test my patience.

#Carlos Sainz #Male reader #Carlos Sainz x Male Reader #F1 #Haas #Red Bull #Carlando #Lando Norris #McLaren #Lando Norris x Carlos Sainz

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purplesurveys · 1 month ago

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1960

End of Year Survey

First things first, did you have a good year? It sucked like you wouldn't believe. Like it is almost impressive how big of a disaster at work it consistently was for all 12 months and how everything that could go wrong went wrong. I also had to work like 40% of the weekends in the entire year, so I forgot how to take care of myself and do things I like. BTS was also on radio silence and then the Yoongi thing happened, sooooo overall just a really gross year.

How old did you turn this year? I turned 26. Year sucked so bad I can barely remember what I did on my birthday too lmaaaaooooo

Do you feel your age? I feel it in the way that my body feels sore more often and in more places now, in the way that I now voluntarily take a step back from stronger alcohol, in the way that I've been increasingly falling asleep from 10-11 PM, and in the way the number of fucks I used to easily hand out to everything and everyone has drastically fallen.

Did your appearance change in anyway? I dyed my hair purple one last time in April, then shifted to dark brown by Oct/Nov since I wanted to start transitioning back to black. Uhhh I also started paying more attention to makeup too, I guess. I'm not a mega spender or anything and never will be + I still don't care for makeup trends – it's just that I've started caring enough to want to look nicer when I have physical meetings for work.

Post your favorite selfie. I honestly don't have any. I was stressed all year and it fucking showed.

If you traveled, where did you go? Vietnam was my one overseas trip for the year, but we also traveled to a few nearby provinces like Bulacan, Batangas etc.

Which fashion trends did you love? If anything I just followed streetwear, if that was even a trend. I wasn't a fan of most things that went trendy last year.

Which fashion trends did you hate? Sambas cheapened up so hard in 2024 hahaha. Thank god I never got one.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? I'm not much of a clothes person, honestly. My favorite article I got was this fanmade bucket hat inspired by RM's RPWP album.

What song sums up this year for you? Escape Route by Paramore Groin by RM LOST! by RM

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? Honestly, probably RPWP too. I didn't listen to music much and kept most of my rotation to BTS or BTS-adjacent songs/albums.

Came out 2023 but I also had Golden on repeat a lot! I find all the songs very catchy and easy to listen to.

What was your favorite movie of the year? I think Hello, Love, Again wins this round mainly because I waited for a sequel for years and I just wanted a happy ending (which I thankfully got).

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? Not really. It's the second year in a row that I kind of just...floated by.

Did you vote? Well, not in 2024. I'll be voting this year for the senatorials, though, even though I already know 90% of my votes will not make it.

Did you move? Nopes.

Did you get a job? I stayed in the same job.

Did you get a pet? We did! Two, technically. We took in Miki, a sickly super young kitten who looked like he badly needed a home. Couldn't have been over a month old. We spent a few days feeding him, giving him affection and such, but I guess he was sick from the get go as he died a little over a week after we found him.

My sister got really distraught after his death, so out of pity my mom (very panickingly) brought home another stray kitten she found, thinking a new cat was gonna be the best solution to a dead cat lol. A little older, bigger this time...around 2-3 months old. I freaked out at my mom at first as I thought it was going to be messing with my sister's grief, and we had already discarded most of the stuff we initially got for Miki... but the kitty and my sister bonded quickly and to me that's what matters. We've called him Max and now he's the cheekiest asshole in the house. And we love him to death.

We've also half-adopted two adult cats in the neighborhood; by half-adopt I mean we regularly give them food outside the house, but we haven't taken them in. They seem to prefer the outdoors more, so we have a schedule in place where they come by dinnertime so we can give them cat food :)

Do you regret not doing anything? Sure.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? Yup.

Did you lose anyone close to you? Not on a personal level but I mean I was pretty rattled by the death of Liam Payne even though he honestly hasn't been my favorite person for the longest time.

Did you fall in love? No.

Did you fall out of love? No.

Did you start a new relationship? No thanks.

Did you go through a break up? Nope.

Did you have to cut ties from someone? I disengaged from my uncle because I found out all the infuriating things he's been getting away with. He already got better a few years back, why and how the hell is he back in square one and being a terrible father?

What was the best moment of the year for you? I'm not going to lie, it is probably when Jungkook came in clutch on the last month of the year to do a 2.5 hour live LOL. It was exactly how it had always been like, minus the late night cooking lessons. It was SO fun and served as such a comforting break after the lack of boraness the entire year. My cheeks hurt when he turned the stream off because I had been smiling so much. Vietnam was also fun :) I always love going to other countries.

What was the worst? I wept a record breaking number of times over work. Unfortunately it wasn't the casual 'let me cry over this for 5 minutes' since it was full on heaving and even crying during virtual meetings. I really felt bad for myself and those moments are big puzzle pieces as to why the year was so hard on me.

What are you most proud of accomplishing? Handing a certain number of ₱1,000 bills to my parents for Christmas.

What do you wish for others for the coming year? Excellent health for themselves and their loved ones.

What do you wish for yourself? I have one but I don't want to jinx it :)

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vivianleighwishesshewasme · 3 months ago

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The Devils Mate 2-part 5

Don't interact if under 18. Former abuse talked about, sex and underage consensual bonding.

Esme finds out they aren’t blood related*

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“Rosemary, come elp me.” I commanded rather than asked. The girl had been squirrely for the last few days as had my son. Tommy and I had talked on the phone last night, he said he’d found records of Rosemary and Albert.

Rosemary was born to Albert and his wife May before she’d succumb to a fever after giving birth. Out of all the advances we were making back toward civilization I couldn’t understand why we didn’t advance in childbirth care faster. Be a priority to me but I was a woman in this fallen dirty world made of men again.

She walked in a flowing long dress and her brown blonde tresses flowing behind her. She was very pretty. If Duke liked her, I could see them looking quite well side by side. She snaked around the other side and started helping me with folding Ruby and Charlie's clothes.

She was a mouth breather that was the only way I knew she was in the room. Her breaths were deep and frequent.

“Tommy found out about your mum, May. I’m sorry you lost her at such a young age.”She watched me now and I saw the sadness behind them.

“I’ve only known one mother, so I guess I'm lucky.” She said softly. I snorted, causing her to startle. I saw a small smirk creep up on the left side of her mouth.

“She still leaves you on your own to fight your own battles and guilt trips you when you think different from er?” I laughed as she smiled brightly at me.

“So it's not just me.” She said laughing. I liked her. She was sweet and sunny but honest. I saw a little minx in her too.

“So, what do you like to do when you're not schooling eh?” I finished Ruby's clothes and added them to the basket. Reaching down I pulled out two more baskets. Rose’s eyes widened.

“I have six people to look after, now nine with you three added. Laundry never stops.” I said. It really didn’t here, neuter did dishes. For as comfortable as we were financially, I wished Tommy would hire help. I hated laundry, to be fair I’d never asked him either.

Men generally had to be told things rather than be able to figure anything out on their own.

“Ummm, I like to listen to the radio and dance. I used to sneak out to the dance hall once a week in Pickford when dad was there on business. I think he knew but he never told me. He kept inviting me out on Saturday nights so….” Her sweet voice trailed off as she blushed and buried her head in the clothes. I nodded my head and smiled. I loved dancing too. I’m glad she was doing little things for herself.

“I’m impressed, we may not be blood but we definitely are related. Sneaking out to dance and meet boys.” My eyes glittered at her as she laughed and continued to bury her face embarrassed. It was cute. We continued to fold the silence quietly but not uncomfortably so. It was nice to have help. Finne and Duke were boys so Tommy kept them busy with “men’s work,” not that the great Tommy Shelby didn’t help me, he always did when he was here. Ruby and Charlie were young and did chores on the weekends when not at school.

“Duke seems nice.” She said it so quietly like she was trying to whisper it. I almost missed her statement. Crimson flushes dotted her cheeks and neck. She liked him. We’ll at least physically. He rarely spoke and I knew he’d been hiding out away from her.

“Tommy and I agreed before he left, what you two decided is between you. We don't want to get involved unless you have questions.” I watched the younger girl's face fall a bit. Did she have questions? Did she think we don’t like her because we both did.

“Tommy and I think you are a good match, don’t expect Duke to come round anytime soon though. I don’t want to discourage you but he's out working with his da, could be two bloody months before I see them.” I watched her face like a hawk. She was actually disappointed. Good, If Duke decided he liked her, she’d wait for him and also understand what it was like to love a working man. They traveled a lot or worked extremely long hours. She’d have things to think about.

Duke was uncertain if he wanted to mate at all or even ever Marry. When they approached him the night before Tommy left, he made it known that he really liked to be by himself and he didn’t want kids, ever. He seemed to acknowledge that he may end up alone but seemed content to think about Rosemary at least.

Truth be told Esme and Tommy hadn’t met until they were well into their twenties. It was an easy decision for her. She wanted him and wanted a baby. He did too. They weren’t kids trying to make adult decisions about mates, marriage or life right away.

“I like crocheting and embroidery.” Rosemary pulled Esme out of her thoughts and back into a more comfortable conversation.

“I knit because I have to with the way these kids outgrow their bloody clothes.” Esme said irritatedly. She loved her babies but they grew so rapidly, she had to do something. A tailor every year was too expensive even passing things down from child to child.

“Oh, I like horses. Do you ride? I saw Tommy and Duke had some in the barn by the house. Mom says I cant because, well you know.” I rolled my eyes, oh I knew what she was saying. Because God forbid she be unable on her marriage bed to prove she was a virgin. Honestly this world wasn’t too different from the old one depending on your parents.

“I’ll take you. She’s gone today to some women's retreat thing with er church. Won't be back until dark.” I winked at her. It was nice to have a girl around to corrupt and talk to. Ruby was sweet but everything was candy, school and animals.

“We can walk the trail and I’ll show you where I met Tommy by the creek and we’ll picnic after the kids get out.” I watched her whole face light up. I really needed a female friend. Rosemary was sweet but probably wouldn’t be sticking around much longer.

“I'd love that.” She said folding a little faster.

“It’s not a bloody race, slow down.” We giggled. I hope at some point Duke picked her.

_______________Tommy’s pov________________________________

I hadn’t been too surprised when Duke said he wanted to come with us. I knew after our little family talked with him, he wanted to clear his head so I invited him out to the city to help me with the factory restlessness. He seemed more willing to do what was necessary than Finn who wanted his creature comforts.

I’d already told Finn what I expected of him, but I didn’t mention Duke. Honestly, I wasn't sure where to put him. It surprised me when he volunteered to drive a truck and deliver a shipment. He’d asked me a few questions, smart questions and was off.

When I spoke to Esme tomorrow, I’d let her know that I'd offer Duke a position or offer to help him figure out what he wanted to do and lend him the money. He was showing promise. God knows I needed that from one male family member.

Polly's son Michael held down the fort on some of our business when we came home.

With Declan being fixed now, I could afford to stay and deal with the issues here.

#peaky blinders fanfic #distopia #mates #esmelee #finn shelby #dukeshelby

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secretadmirations06 · 6 months ago

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This is a short story I had to write for a personal response to text for English (well I got to decide between an essay or not so I chose short story). It’s a story I completely made up based off of the picture above ‘Like Son’ by Robert Gawthmey. I wanted to share it :)

I also listened to this song over a few times while writing if y’all wanted to listen to it while reading

WARNINGS: mentions of a passed parent if that is a hard subject for you

Why can’t you hear me?

Deafening silence filled my father’s study as he shrunk down in his seat. He knew I was right, he knew what he’s done, my father was merely oblivious to it and I finally had the courage to speak up. It took him 7 weeks, almost two whole months, for him to recognize how broken I was too, he wasn’t the only one who lost her, and it was only because I was sitting here now with hot tears running down my face begging for him to hear me. I couldn’t do this alone anymore, I’m not strong enough for this. Ever since the accident, the day our world came crashing down, my father had completely shut out everything and everyone, leaving me the weight of keeping it all together. That day turned into a nightmare that plays on repeat in my head, no matter how hard I try, it just won’t go away.

It was a calm Monday morning, I had woken up earlier than usual to watch the sunrise with my mother, it had become a weekly ritual she insisted we all do to welcome the new coming week. She always created an essence of beauty in everything she did, my father often stated it was one of the many reasons he fell in love with her. I remember this sunrise being one of the most colourful ones I ever witnessed. I looked over at my mother seeing a sparkle in her eyes as she watched the new day form in front of her, while my father took endless amounts of pictures to capture the moment so it would last forever. At the time, it hadn’t occurred to me just how special this moment really was, I was more focused on how tired I was. She left the house later that day to buy some groceries to make her favourite pot roast for dinner while father and I played a few rounds of cards. I had almost finally won a round when the house phone rang. The news I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Everything seemed to turn dark that day, we lost our light, how was I supposed to move on? There was no more joy in our household, her loud giggles wouldn’t be heard when my father came up with a terrible joke, I wouldn’t come home from school to hear her singing along softly to the radio, she wouldn’t be pulling me out of bed with a bright smile to welcome the new week anymore. Suddenly, all of those became past memories, it physically pained me to imagine any of it without her. It’s been almost two months, father lost his job, he only ever moves from his and mother’s bed to his study, otherwise I rarely saw him anymore. Most of the time I was alone, not a person to talk to. I'm sure my father has heard me crying myself to sleep some nights but chose to ignore it so he wouldn’t have to face it with me. He didn't even realize that I had been flunking in school either, I can’t remember the last time I showed up, I couldn’t, I had to take over at home because it was just us now. I got two part-time jobs while also balancing school work and grief. I taught myself how to do the taxes, I did the grocery shopping and the cleaning, I made sure my father and I got taken care of because if I didn't, who would? I was so exhausted and he was unbeknownst to it all, he had no clue of the stress he was putting me through. I've tried to talk to him but he just doesn’t hear me. He refused to do anything but dwell on something we have no control over anymore and the pressure was too much for me now. I missed my mother as well and I needed this man to be my father again. He sat there with guilt ridden all over his face, saying nothing, I don’t think he even knew what he could say after everything.

So here we are, sitting in our field on an early Monday morning, my father had walked into my room and insisted I get up with him. Tears pricked my eyes as we welcomed a new week into our lives. I couldn’t help but smile as I took in all the beautiful colours, the air falling to a peaceful silence as I looked over at my father who had that same sparkle in his eyes my mother once had. I understood him through the silence, it was going to be alright. He had finally heard me.

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quirkyqueenbanana · 7 months ago

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HELP: is he playing me or is it just cultural difference???

I(22/f)met J(26/m) on Bumble. We matched with each other and had few conversations on the app, and he seemed pretty nice. He said it was his last night in town and would fly back to Korea the next day, so he was asking if I'd like to meet him and have some drinks.

I live in the suburban area of the city and to get where he was, I needed to take an hour and a half taxi ride and would cost me unnecessary expense, especially since we just met and I have not enough reason to meet up with him. I told him such and said that as a student I'm on a tight budget. He said he'll pay for my taxi and it's just cheap to him. So I ran out of excuses and just called a cab.

We agreed to meet in front of his hotel, and I literally was ready to bolt if he ended up being a catfish. He went down and he was the real person from the pictures so it made me relax a bit. We went for a bit of a walk and realised the the bar street/area is quite far from his hotel and would take another taxi again so he proposed to just have drinks in his room. I was still cautious but I didn't get any weird vibes from him so I agreed. We stopped by the convenience store and even if he was foreign to the payment system and didn't know the language (Chinese), he was adamant about not letting me pay. So he paid for everything and went back to his hotel room.

I was a bit awkward at first and just asked "so what do you usually do here" and I meant in the hotel during his free time, but I guess he interpreted it as what he's doing in town, so he proceeded to show me his business plans and everything. We got to talking about a lot of things, even went to deeper topics and established a really good rapport. Turns out we had the same values and are mutually kind of starting to be interested with one another.

As the night goes deeper, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping with each other and cuddled the whole night. In the morning I went with him to the airport (I needed to pick up a friend anyway) and he was very sweet to me. He left and we chatted every single day for almost two months. He said he had an exhibition in town in two months' time and we were looking forward to meeting each other again. He would send me photos of his family, his work, update me where he was. Although he would reply really late, hours after I sent him a reply, and a lot of times during the week his replies would just be twice or thrice a day, I just thought it was because he was really busy and didn't fuss about it.

When his birthday came, I asked help from a friend of mine to buy a cake for me and send it to J's address in Korea. J was really surprised and couldn't believe that I would send a gift this far away.

My birthday was a week later. He didn't remember.

I wasn't expecting him to make a grand gesture but I thought I'd at least get a happy birthday greeting. Nothing.

A week before he was slated to come to town, he said something came up and wouldn't be able to make it anymore. I was really disappointed and just sent a dry reply. He never got back to me after that. I waited a couple days but the guy ghosted me for another two months, and I didn't send him any messages as well. BUT I'd often see him watch my Instagram stories.

When I went to Korea with some friends (it was pre planned before I met the guy) for the summer, I knew he knew that I was there (he was still watching my stories) but still never reached out. It was radio silence on his end.

One night I got really tipsy and sent him a drunken message saying I don't like him and that I hope he found someone new already. He replied saying he's not with anybody right now, that he's "just been busy all the time" and that he "knows it's awkward and couldn't find the right time to send a message" and that he's "sorry for that" and that he saw I was in Korea and "hoped I was having a great time". At the time I thought it was just excuses on top of excuses and pissed me off even more. I just replied with "being busy is not an excuse when you really like somebody" and "I just hoped you'd be more communicative about your intentions". He just apologised again.

We didn't talk much after that and the days after that, nothing again. Maybe I expected that if the reason he wasn't messaging me was because of long-distance, surely he'd at least want to grab coffee now that we're both in the same town? But nothing. He just continued watching my Instagram stories and never texted me again.

Two days before I flew back, I sent him another message: "왜그래요? 날 안좋아하시면 insta story를 보지마요 (Why are you like this? If you don't like me please don't watch my stories)"

I wanted to give him the choice, so that I'd at least get to know his answer without forcing it out of him. And it wouldn't pressure him. An easy way out for him.

He never replied again. But he kept watching my stories.

I'm so confused because I know that's a lot of red flags and maybe he was lovebombing me at first, reeling me in. I know if a guy really liked me he wouldn't treat me this way and would at least make things clear with me. Maybe I'm in denial. Maybe I'm holding out hope because honestly he's exactly what I wanted for my future. He told me he wanted to get married within 5 years. I didn't tell him but I wanted to get married when I'm 25/26 (I'm 22 now). We had the same values, we challenged each other intellectually, he was stable and ready to settle, and we had good physical chemistry. He studied in the UK so he was good in English and understood the Western culture. He was open enough for a Korean. So I don't know if this behaviour of his is cultural/mindset difference or he's just a narcissistic jerk who likes having someone chase after him? Is he genuine or was I played for fool?

I need advice.

#advice #situationships #korean #please help

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spikeisawesome456 · 2 years ago

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what happened this weeek bro????

Well, funny you should ask that, my friend! Completely unprompted and everything! 😅

Ahhh. But BOY has this week been a chore. The last two days especially. I'll put this in a read more to prevent dash clutter, because this is a LOT. -.-

Anyway. For context, I am currently getting my master's degree in Educational Counseling, to hopefully become a school counselor. My college is completely online, which is helpful in some ways, unhelpful in others. I am also an after school teacher at an elementary school, a job I've had for almost 5 years now.

So, on Monday the 3rd, almost two weeks ago, my very last grad class started. My program has us doing one class a month, instead of five classes a semester or something, so this is my only class for this month (and the next, since this is a research class/my thesis class, and is logically a bit longer).

However, instead of hearing from my new professor on the 3rd, we had radio silence for a week. This was very frustrating, since I have quite a few questions about my research project that I came up with in my last class in December (yes, my last class ended in December, I guess they didn't have this class until April for some reason. I've been doing my internship the last 3 months though, so I was fine with it), but I decided to overlook it and do the assignments, which were just to submit the assignments from the last research class I took in December, which was easy.

Then, this Monday the 10th, I finally heard from my professor. She sent everyone a few emails at 3 am (??? Why 3 am I have no idea. I bet she finally checked her email, went "OH SHOOT I HAVE CLASS" and frantically send the emails), one of which said our first zoom class was that day at 5pm. Problem is, I work until 6:00 every week day, and I didn't have nearly enough time to ask for the hour off. Plus, I was a bit pissed at my prof for not giving enough warning. I sent an email asking if she would record the class, as well as asking her my main question I had. She replied back saying that she wanted to meet up with me privately, which I said that I was amenable to, telling her my availability. She then... emailed me back (calling me KAREN, when I had said my name is KATIE VERY CLEARLY IN MY CLOSER AND MY EMAIL IS LITERALLY MY FULL NAME) saying I didn't answer her????? When I very obviously did???

Well. Whatever, it was weird, but we eventually decided to meet Friday (today) at noon. I confirmed it, she didn't, but I just hoped she'd make the meeting.

Which... she did not. I sent her an email this morning at 7:00 asking for confirmation, and she never responded??? At all??? Like... dude??????? Finally, at noon, I decided to call it a wash and went to lunch with my parents. I had left my internship early for the meeting, too, and I was honestly super pissed.

But you want to know the kicker?? The real kick in the nuts????? When I finally got to lunch and sat down at 12:50... I opened my email for funsies and saw that she had finally emailed me... AT 12:15, SAYING THAT SHE WAS WAITING IN THE CLASS ZOOM LINK THAT SHE SENT THE CLASS. THAT SHE NEVER TOLD ME WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET IN. WHAT THE HELL.

I was SO DONE at this point I wanted to scream. I have since emailed the director of the whole program, her boss, and hopefully the director will get back to me... soon. But I have a feeling I will be stuck with this moron, for my most important class. And the worst thing is, I STILL DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER TO MY QUESTION, MEANING I DON'T KNOW IF I'M WASTING MY TIME DOING THIS WEEK'S HOMEWORK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Ugh.

Anyway. If you thought THAT was bad, I also found out that I'm apparently not enrolled in my second internship class, despite the fact I'm at the exact same location, with the exact same counselor as my supervisor (I have a new internship class every 200 hours apparently, needing 600 hours total). No one told me I needed to apply for each class, either. But regardless, I now have to apply to the next class, even though I just finished my last 200 hours and am now starting my next 200, but I don't even know if they will count because my school is incompetent. And on top of that, the person who is reviewing my application has no idea how to insert my birth day and SSN into the credential website to see if I am clear to work at a school. I'm just... so freaking done with this school, I HATE THEM SO MUCH AHHHHH.

AND THEN, ON TOP OF ALL THAT... At work yesterday, there was legit a NAKED MAN IN THE WINDOW OF THE HOUSE OVERLOOKING THE AREA WE HAVE THE KIDS PLAY IN EVERY DAY. AND TWO STUDENTS SAW HIM, ONE A KINDERGARTEN GIRL. AND SHE SAID SHE SAW EVERYTHING. This poor little girl... I looked to confirm there was indeed a naked man, and while I was able to look away fast enough to not see anything untoward (and the window was slightly blurred at least), I was able to confirm that he was, at least, not wearing a shirt or pants. Whether he had underwear on, I don't know, but it was still very disturbing, especially because he's been watching us for a few months now... I thought it was just some guy looking over his fence curiously at the kids outside, but now, I don't know. He definitely knew we were out there, since I am fairly certain I saw his face. My supervisor is handling this one, but I still am very creeped out by this.

Anyway, there is more, but I'm tired just writing this. I want to sleep for days, but I don't even get to rest this weekend, since I have homework THAT I DON'T KNOW WILL EVEN MATTER SINCE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO MY RESEARCH, but whatever. WHATEVER. At least the work isn't hard. It's just coming up with my questionnaire for the kids to answer. But still!!!

So, that's how my week has been going. How's yours?? :-) :-) :-)

#Personal post

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cricketcampbell · 1 month ago

Text

There's no satisfaction gained from the acknowledgement of what Cricket knows had been weeks of radio silence on her end.

Part of her had figured (hoped?) that he'd been aware of it, at least on some level. The switch up from their previous months of rambling texts about anything and everything to a read receipt and nothing more felt obvious to her on the nights she couldn't keep from scrolling back through their past conversations, which was most of them these days, but if Mack had noticed the shift, she was confident that nothing about his texts had said so.

(Not that it would have mattered. She wasn't sure what she'd even have said to him if they had.)

Cricket crosses her arms over her chest, a fight against both the nighttime chill and the weight of Mack's suddenly pitying gaze on her. He might not have actually been laughing at her then, but Cricket could hear it in his tone that he thought she was being ridiculous, which meant it was only a matter of time before they started to say things she wasn't sure they'd be able to come back from this time.

This was exactly why she hadn't wanted to do this tonight--or ever at all, ideally. She didn't want to go into another new year not knowing if he'd be a part of it.

"Yeah, well," Cricket scoffed. "What else am I supposed to think, Mack?"

She knows she isn't wrong, is the thing. Completely or otherwise, Cricket knows what it was that she'd seen happening between Lori and Mack the last few weeks. Of course she did, when every instance, every interaction, every day that passed where they looked her in the eyes and continued to lie to her had ultimately led to her inability to even be in the same room as them, two of her favorite people.

(But that was all just supposed to be okay because they had talked about her while continuing to sneak around behind her back?)

"Oh my God." Cricket had to laugh, or else she'd cry, but she was embarrassed to find that she was already doing the latter. "You do get how that's worse, right? Like I'm just so sorry that I was the one who had to remind you that maybe you should feel just, like, a little guilty about--"

Not being in love with Lori?

Cricket blinked to clear her blurred vision, as if the tears clinging to her lashes were the cause for her mishearing the words coming from his mouth. Even that somehow made more sense to her than thinking he'd actually meant for her to be the one to hear them...

At least, it did before she watched him pinch the air in the space between them; a distance that'd felt like miles narrowed down to mere inches with a mirror of a silly gesture that two months ago she never would've imagined had the power of making her heart stop beating right in her chest the way it did seeing it tonight.

It picks back up in a panic when Cricket realizes her stunned silence has allowed Mack to jump to a conclusion that couldn't be further from the truth that'd been threatening to claw it's way to the surface for months now.

"No! I mean, no, you--" She shook her head, forcing herself to take a deep breath as she tried to decide where to begin. "You're right. I have been ignoring your texts."

Not the most pressing matter, but perhaps the easiest for Cricket to be able to address and explain.

"But not because I don't want to talk to you. I, like, always want to talk to you, and you have no idea how much it's been killing me to pretend that I don't."

Her face softens as she realizes that maybe she was wrong about that, too.

"Or that the thought of you and Lori being together hasn't actually been killing me. Because it has. And I told myself that it was just because I hated that you guys were lying to me, and that if you would just tell me, then I could get over it and be happy for you because literally all I want more than almost anything is for you both to be happy...but to be so completely honest, Mack?" Cricket sniffled. "I think the one thing I want maybe even more than that is for you to be happy with me again."

A desire she hadn't thought was a real possibility not even five minutes ago, but that the hope of was already beginning to bloom something fierce in her chest.

"It's just--after the wedding, and then everything we talked about after Halloween, I thought maybe--some part of me thought maybe you could want that again too. But then on my birthday there was like this moment in the kitchen after everyone left where I thought you were going to kiss me and I realized then just how much I wanted you to but then you didn't and that's when I really started to notice how much you'd been hanging around and I just thought--"

Well, he knew exactly what it was she'd thought. She could feel her embarrassment from the sudden heat of her own tear-stained cheeks, but Cricket doesn't shy away from looking at him. Not when it's the closest she'd been to him all month and still had the slightest possibility of being the closest she'd be to him ever again after the scene she'd caused tonight.

"Have you really been riding in the elevator every day just to see me?"

@mackmontgomery

“I don’t know, I can barely get a text back from you these days. Do we talk about anything?”

December had been harder than he anticipated it ever would be, the approach of his second favorite holiday dulled in excitement by the absence of her that felt colder than California weather ever got. After the double whammy of Thanksgiving and his birthday being a joint bust that had only been redeemed by the portion of it he had spent with her, he had thought that would have led to spending more time with her.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

Cricket appeared intent in joining him in that respect as he listens to her list off moments she had observed and managed to miss what had actually prompted and connected them all.

( Her. )

Her accusation is laughable, but he doesn’t laugh.

His expression softens to sympathetic where utter confusion had previously been, some kind of rock existing in the space where his stomach used to be as his hands meet at the back of his head, a rapid flash retrospective of the instances with Lori playing out in his mind but from what he thinks her perspective was rather than his own actual memory.

“Oh my god, you really do fucking think that’s true.”

His hands drop back to his sides then, like he needed to create some sort of audible action to make the way that shatters his heart just a little bit for her.

“I don’t think it’s funny and it’s not a joke to me, Cricket.”

His mother had insinuated the same at Thanksgiving, that he was what he dealt in the most — a joke. It had hurt because there was some truth in it, his own discomfort with real feelings that weren’t diluted by humour to blame for it and he knew he was walking a thin line in the last stretch of 2024.

( He knows he can’t hide from the potential gut punch behind another punchline. )

“You’re not completely wrong,” He corrects, continuing so he didn’t any blanks for her to fill in with her own assumptions, “I have been hanging around your apartment with her and we’ve had a lot of talks without you around because they’ve been about you.”

He’s not sure how he’s made as much of a mess of this as he has while spending every waking second since X and Van’s wedding trying to carefully not do that, but he couldn’t deny that that seemed pretty on par for them.

“I’m not in love with Lori. I never have and never will be in love with Lori. I have no feelings towards her other than hella gratitude that she’s had to deal with listening to me for the last two and a half months trying to figure out how the fuck I’m supposed to tell you that I like you.”

Even to his own ears that sounded so spectacularly stupid that the only thing he could do was keep going.

“I like you so much it’s making me so, so stupid. And I think maybe a little bit insane.”

Mack knew she would know exactly how much he meant when he pinches the air in front of him, the gap between his thumb and index finger a confined space that had no real hope of containing the vastness of everything he felt about her within it.

“And my bad if I’m ruining our friendship right now and double my bad if I’m ruining it for good because it was so hard to get here after everything. And I know we broke up for a reason..A lot of reasons really..but I don’t see any of them when I look at you. I just see every reason that I lowkey fell in love with you five minutes after meeting you in that elevator the first day you moved here. I’ve literally been hanging out in that thing like two hours a day the last week to try and catch you getting it at the same time because I thought maybe if I could then you’d think about that as well and you’d think about me and you’d remember some of those reasons too.”

He knows if he stops short of getting it all off his chest he might never be able to, even while struck with a sudden innate awareness of himself and gravity and how the air around him felt like it doubled and made it a little harder to breathe.

( Or maybe it was the tie. )

He reaches up to loosen it, looking down at her with minor apprehension and major hope.

“I’ve been spending so much time trying to figure out how to get you to see me that it didn’t hit me until right now that maybe you just don’t see me like that anymore.”

That possibility tastes like a phantom downed battery acid cocktail when he swallows.

“And I need you to know that it’s okay if you don’t,” Mack wants to mean that, even if the slight shake in his voice when he says it implies otherwise, causing him to clear his throat, “Don’t get me wrong it would suck on an intergalactic level for me for a while, but I’d be okay. I wouldn’t dip on you or vanish from your life and divide our friends or turn into a fucking weirdo again like after we split. You matter to me forever, no matter what it looks like. I’m sorry to be doing this one New Years Eve and I’m sorry if I ruined your night but I can’t let you go into a new year not knowing and leaving me in the past when I want you to be my future.”

@cricketcampbell

#thread #opposite: mack montgomery #cricket + mack 011 #event 017: new year's eve

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hellfirebarnes · 2 years ago

Text

Anniversary - Eddie Munson

The groan you let out as you hauled the last bag into the car was near animalistic. And the humidity was doing nothing to help against the sweat running down your neck. The previous relief of your ponytail and the thin material of your tank top subsided. You thanked all the possible gods that you'd had the car's AC fixed a week prior.

You latched your hands together above your head, leaning side to side to stretch your back before getting in the driver's seat. As you turned the keys, a pair of feet were slammed onto the dashboard, and you scowled at the beat-up Reeboks. Your eyes moved from the shoes up the legs and onto the face of your much too-satisfied companion. He had a lollipop hanging from his mouth that was threateningly close to falling out when he grinned at you.

''Do you mind?'' You motion towards his shoes. ''I just had it cleaned.''

He shrugged, ''I'd take them off, but I doubt you'd be happier with the smell.''

You narrowed your eyes at him, pondering if it was worth it, but exhaled loudly through your nose and turned away from him again. ''There's only so much of your shit I'll put up with before the love I have for you isn't enough anymore.'' You started the car, pulling out of the driveway. ''See this as a formal warning.''

His robust laugh made you smile, the mask finally falling. ''You've promised to love me for the rest of your life,'' he reminded, ''don't think I'm gonna let you chicken out on that.''

''Whatever,'' you rolled your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek to contain the smile. ''Remind me why we're even going back to Hawkins? The trip there is awful, especially this time of year.''

He fiddled with the radio, sticking his tongue out and giving a triumphant ''aha'' when he got rid of the static. And when he leaned back in his seat, he rolled his head to the side to look at you. ''Anniversary, you wouldn't shut up about it all week.'' He chuckled. ''Last few months, actually. How you and Steve kept going on and on about it over the phone nearly made me gag.''

You shot him a glare, shaking your head disapprovingly.

''Don't give me that look! This is all you.''

There was a few moments of silence, the radio playing softly and the breeze swooshing through the crack in Eddie's window. It was almost peaceful. Almost.

''It's also only March, so the heat will only worsen from here.''

''Oh, shut up, Eddie!''

His laugh roared through the car, and you wanted so badly to keep from smiling, but you never could around him.

''Do you think Harrington has gotten a haircut yet?'' he asked suddenly, a smirk on his face. ''Cause I've gotta feeling he's taken some inspiration from a certain rockstar among us.''

''Don't flatter yourself.'' You shot him a look. ''I do, however, think Robin might still be wearing that vest she made from Steve's old jean jacket.''

Eddie fake-gagged, making you laugh again. ''I swear that thing is gonna crawl away soon. Honestly, has she ever washed it? Splattered some water on it? Worn it in the rain!?''

''You're one to talk, Eddie, was yours ever washed?'' you countered, scrunching your nose at the memory of his battle vest and everything it went through.

''Mine was perfectly fine and good until Harrington bled all over it!'' he pouted, crossing his arms like a child. ''I still mourn it every single day.''

''Don't we all,'' you mumbled, more to yourself.

You could've sworn the ride was going perfectly. The AC, in combination with open windows, made the heat bearable, and the roads were close to empty. It made you wonder when something was gonna go wrong, waiting it out impatiently.

''What song is this?'' Eddie said suddenly, and when you looked over at him, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes trained on the radio.

''What'd you mean? It's Metallica.''

His eyes remained on the radio, not even flinching. ''I can hear that, but what's the song?''

''Uh...'' you racked your brain, trying to remember the name, ''Harvester of Sorrow, I think?'' You gave him another look, chuckling at his confused face. ''I was released last summer; you can't possibly tell me you haven't heard it?''

''Huh,'' he leaned back in his seat, shrugging, ''guess I must've missed it.''

Your eyes widened, flicking between him and the road repeatedly. ''You, Eddie Munson, missed a Metallica song?''

He rolled his eyes at you, shrugging again, ''I, Eddie Munson, missed a lot of things.'' His finger pointed out the windshield. ''Now, I know I'm pretty, but you're gonna have to watch the road a bit more.''

You swatted to make him put the hand down, making him laugh again. ''Don't flatter yourself.''

''Don't have to when I've got you to do it for me.''

''Oh, shut up, will ya?''

The final four hours before stopping at a motel consisted mainly of guessing games made up by Eddie that half of the time didn't make sense. But his confusion was worse than yours, which made it easier to convince him you repeatedly won until he decided to change to a different set of rules.

But as you put the car in park and watched him bounce out of it, his hair falling out from the bun he'd made a couple of hours ago, a single thought kept gnawing at the back of your head. He missed a lot of things.

Mere seconds after you'd paid for the room, Eddie snorted in your ear from behind you. You tried to ignore him, picking up your backpack and going to the room with him hot on your heel.

''Did you see that?'' he laughed, throwing himself on the bed. ''The guy upfront totally had a thing for you.''

''That's disgusting, Eddie, don't say that.'' You frowned. ''I'm taking a shower.''

''Hot.''

''Shut up.''

A couple of hours later, you'd had a questionable burger for dinner and were tucked into bed. Which was surprisingly comfortable for a motel, and you made a mental note to go here for the ride home too.

And when you turned, you were met by Eddie's smiling face. His hair was sprawled out on the pillow, and the covers were tucked snuggly under his arms.

''You're gonna stink them up with your pits.''

''Don't be mean, or I'm gonna cry.''

You shook your head, pulling up the covers to hide your smile. And you thought to yourself how you'd be willing to give anything and everything to have moments like this forever.

''What're your hopes for this year's anniversary?'' he asked quietly, still looking at you. ''It's already three years. Do you think things will be different?''

''Partially,'' you whispered back, looking down at his ink-covered arm resting on the white covers. ''But things are always gonna be different, ya know?''

He nodded, chewing on his lip. ''The sheep are graduating this year. Crazy.''

You laughed, ''I was worried they'd take after you too much; it's good to see they didn't.'' His laugh flooded your ears, widening your smile. ''I'm excited to see them in those ugly caps.''

''You're just bitter because you looked awful in it,'' he shot back with a smirk. ''I'm sure Henderson will make it look cool.''

''Are we thinking about the same Henderson here? He'll probably have a Hellfire logo sewn onto it.''

Eddie gasped excitedly. ''You really think he'd do that?''

The two of you laughed, simultaneously realizing he probably would. And you wouldn't admit it out loud, but that thought was sweet to you. He would likely have it on his gown, too, pissing off the jocks and the principal further, knowing they couldn't say anything about it anymore.

''Are you nervous?'' Eddie's voice brought you out of the visualization of Dustin on stage, covered in Hellfire.

''Yeah,'' you took a deep breath, ''I always am.''

''Who are you gonna visit first when you get there?''

''Probably Steve,'' you said, moving onto your back. ''He's been stressing about this more than me. And I haven't seen him in nearly a year.''

Eddie nodded, moving closer to you. ''Just a few more hours.''

You looked at him again, enjoying the image of him cuddling up next to you in bed. And you hoped it wouldn't fade from your memory as you fell asleep to the sound of his soft snores.

The setback eventually happened in the third hour of the next day. Your car whined and groaned, and you barely had time to pull over to the side before it broke down completely. So now you had your head ducked under the hood, trying to figure out what was wrong.

''I wouldn't complain if you wanted to offer some wisdom,'' you called out to Eddie over your shoulder.

He plucked the cigarette from his mouth, grinning through the exhaled smoke. ''Honestly, babe, there's nothing I can say that won't just be repeating things I've taught you before.''

You grumbled under your breath, cursing him for being a know-it-all. ''A little refreshing of the memory hasn't hurt anyone.''

''There's nothing wrong with that memory of yours,'' he countered, ''you just didn't listen to me.''

You gasped, flinging around to look at him with your hands on your hips. ''I listened to you plenty, Munson! It's not my fault that mouth of yours never stopped moving.''

''Yeah, yeah,'' he moved closer to you, ''didn't really make you complain before.''

''I hate you.''

''You could never.''

Fourty-five minutes and a handful of miracles (that Eddie took credit for) later, the car was up and running again. It should've made you happy knowing Hawkins was nearing, but it formed a familiar knot in your stomach. This was the third anniversary, but no matter how many years passed, you still didn't know how to handle it, and no one seemed to know. So yeah, you made unnecessary stops to drag it out, but who would call you out on it? No one. Because they were most definitely all doing the same as you - trying to win more time to settle your thoughts.

Eventually, you got to the first bumpy part of the road where one of the cracks had been. But the chill running down your spine had told you Hawkins was right around the corner long before the attempted fixed road did.

You glanced over at Eddie, who had gotten very quiet, and his eyes were trained out the window. But he still sensed your uncertainty and spoke, ''Isn't it crazy how nothing and everything has changed about this place?''

''I'm not sure if it's the place or the people that's changed,'' you said, slowing down the car when you got to a rougher part of the road. ''The best ones left too soon, y'know.''

This made him look at you, grinning. ''Are you trying to flatter yourself or me?''

You hummed, ''Why not both?''

''Well, that just wouldn't make sense, sweetheart.''

You laughed at him, shaking your head. ''Most things don't.''

Twenty minutes later, you were parked at the gas station, smoking a cigarette to calm your nerves. Eddie was sitting on the car's hood, and you stood beside him, leaning against it.

''Are you coming with me to Steve's?'' you asked after several minutes of silence.

''Nah,'' Eddie said, jumping down from the car, ''think I'm gonna pay Wayne a visit.''

You looked at him with a tight smile, nodding. ''Okay.''

''Okay.'' He chuckled. ''You'll come to me later?''

''Of course.'' You watched him walk away, exhaling shakily. ''Oh my God, fucking hell.''

The ride to Steve's was quiet, your mind numb. But seeing his car parked in the driveway lit some sort of warmth in your chest. Every step to his front door felt like you were floating, and if you'd had to knock, you're not sure it would've even made a sound with how numb your arm felt. But you never had to; the door was flung open by a beaming Steve Harrington before you reached it.

You paused to look at each other, then he reached you in three long strides, his arms wrapping tightly around you. And the warmth of his presence made tears sting in your eyes.

He pulled away, keeping his hands on your upper arms, ''Come in.'' The two of you walked into the house, one of his hands always in contact with you. ''I'll get us some coffee; feel like home.''

You looked around as he went into the kitchen. Most things were the same as before, except a red pillow on the couch you're relatively sure was new. However, the new picture on the wall caught your eye; it was of you and Steve from Robin and Nancy's graduation. You were standing outside the school, his arm flung over your shoulders and yours wrapped around his middle. If you looked a bit closer, you could see the scar around his throat and the tan lines on your hand you'd gotten from the cast. But if you took a step back, all that was noticeable were the big smiles on your faces. And maybe that was all that mattered.

''We looked quite good, don't ya think?'' Steve asked as he walked up beside you, smiling when you caught his eye. ''Thought it'd be a shame to let it be forgotten in an attic somewhere.''

You chuckled, nodding. ''Wayne's really got a knack for photography. Too bad he never pursued it.''

''Wish we'd have him around for our graduation; those pictures Dustin took were awful.'' He looked down at you with a fond smile. ''How've you been?''

''Oh, you know, same old.'' You shrugged, wrapping your arms around yourself when he hummed.

''Same as last year?''

''Honestly?'' you looked up at him, cringing at your confession. ''A bit more intense this year. My psychiatrist says it's normal. Still makes me feel crazy, though.''

Steve grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly. ''Everyone copes differently; I don't think reminiscing and remembering make you crazy.'' His eyes dropped, sighing. ''Sometimes I wish I could remember more, but most of it is blurry or completely gone.''

You looked at him sadly, pinching your eyebrows together.

''Guess there's only so many hits you can take to the head before it affects you somehow, huh?'' he chuckled, shaking his head, his eyes glossing over.

You spent the next three hours with Steve, discussing what had happened since the last time, and planned for you to be staying with him when you came back for the kids' graduation. But then you were standing by his front door, smiling as he assured you it was okay if you stayed with him now too. And it was like a broken record how you told him you'd already paid for the hotel and him saying he'd give you the money you spent.

''Alright, well, if you're sure,'' he said eventually, giving up. ''Don't hesitate if you change your mind. I'll be a call away.''

''You always are, Steve.'' You smiled at him. ''Thank you.''

He nodded, wrapping his arms around you in what felt like the millionth hug today. Still, you craved more when he let you go. Saying goodbye always felt hard, even now when it was just until later. And it didn't get any easier when he looked at you like that. But you had to go to Eddie, and he knew that too.

The drive to him felt like slow-motion. You passed several familiar faces, but they all felt like strangers these days. Some you'd gone to school with and some old neighbors, but none that mattered to you anymore.

When you parked the car, you took a moment before exiting, taking deep breaths, and brushing the hair out of your face. You took a knitted sweater from one of your bags, the Indiana air making you shiver. And once you got the courage, you knew the path like the back of your hand. You didn't have to stop and think for a second; he was just pulling you to him.

''Hey, stranger,'' you said with a chuckle, looking down. ''It's been a while, huh?'' You sat down, pulling your knees to your chest. ''It doesn't feel like it. Still feels like you're right there with me through everything. I talked to Steve about this earlier, and he said it's a good thing.'' You moved closer, pulling on the grass.

''It's funny, you're always much more talkative before we get to Hawkins.'' You chuckled. ''It makes me wonder if I actually remember your voice or if I'm just making it up.''

There was no answer, and there never is anymore. Not really.

A rush of wind blew past, and you could've sworn you heard his laugh hidden in it. It should've made you shiver, but it felt like a warm blanket over your shoulders. You rested your forehead against the cold surface. If you imagined hard enough, it felt like his forehead pressed against yours.

You sat back up, looking at the gravestone, reaching out and letting your finger trace the letters carved into it.

Edward Munson.

''What do I do with all this sadness, Eddie?''

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x fem!reader #edward munson

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halfbakedideas · 2 years ago

Text

And All Around The World, The Lights Will Fill The Streets

So take a pause for cheer, it's only once a year.

- I Feel Like a Kid Again by JAX

December is always the busiest month of the whole year in terms of crime. In the winter and with the approaching celebrations people get desperate. Even those who aren’t religious. It gets even more crazy in the two weeks leading up to Christmas.

The Ninja spend every evening in December essentially run off of their feet. Every patrol is spent foiling various crimes that range from petty heists (usually muggings, pickpockets, the occasional thief) to elaborate schemes. One December they had to deal with a scheme where every single cookie in a factory got replaced with cookies made of slime without triggering a single alarm.

This year is no different. Just like the Decembers past they head off into the winter evening on solo patrols. Every other month they patrol in pairs but there’s simply too much crime for that in December. The only difference this year is that some of them are recuperating from various injuries.

On the thirteenth, Lloyd packs up and heads out on a solo mission. He’s been tasked with going undercover in a pharmaceutical company to get information on a possible drug-smuggling ring. For this particular mission the other ninja, more specifically Zane and Nya, were in charge of organising the green ninja’s alias and disguise. There was no — well very little given their track record with luck — chance that Lloyd would get found out.

He would be back in time for Christmas Eve, hopefully, if nothing goes wrong.

So for the next two weeks, it was just the five of them (and Wu when the man decided to be there) at the monastery.

xxx

Even on Christmas Eve they had patrol. This particular evening, much like New Year’s Eve (in about two months’ time, give or take a few days), the entire team patrols the city.

It makes it fairer. Therefore no one person is patrolling alone on the night that could either be the busiest or the quietest night of the whole year. It also makes it go faster, they keep up the chatter (and occasional banter) that is usually kept to a minimum on regular patrols.

This year is shaping up to possibly join the small handful of quieter Christmas Eve patrols.

The only thing missing is Lloyd. They was due home at nine thirty, plans permitting but it is almost ten PM and there’s still no sign of their youngest brother.

He is not injured, the code that he’s supposed to give for that hasn’t been said, he’s just on the necessary radio silence.

No one’s really sure who is the one to suggest it but the suggestion is put forth that they use their patrol as a way to see the Christmas lights that are strung up around the city. There’s a strong suspicion that it was Pixal, who has never done such an activity before.

Thus, when the clock turns over to ten PM, they divert their patrol away from the usual routes and head for the spots where people have hung Christmas lights.

It’s not as nice as it was when they had last done this, almost four years ago now, the city’s population has exploded in that time. Urban sprawl consumes more and more land each year. But that is not the most important thing; what does is that they are together. Well, almost; the last member of their <s>team<s> family is still not home yet.

As they stand on a lower rooftop of a building, a bakery perhaps, looking at a frankly amazing display of Christmas lights that is decked out over an entire front of an apartment block. This particular display is so breathtaking that all of them consider the possibility of magic being used somehow.

My hands are frozen but I'm quick on my two feet, ‘cause I’m coming home.

“If only Lloyd could be here to see this,” Pixal says as the group watches the not-exactly-LED-lights display of snowflakes twinkle across the building’s side.

“Who’s to say I’m not?” A very familiar (and very much missed) voice says over the comm. line.

A round of startled but happy exclamations ring out as the ninja all turn to see their little brother (who is covered in soot and dirt but nevertheless alive) jump down onto the roof to join them.

“Lloyd!”

All six of them wrap their youngest brother in a hug. Soon enough they has to tap out; While he loves them all, breathing will always take precedence.

He has arrived at just the right time, there are still a few spots left that they have not yet visited.

xxx

The next morning, they all sleep in. Wu won’t be back until later that day and it is Christmas so there’s no one and nothing to say that they cannot.

Even with nothing forcing them to get up, Zane still gets up first. They deftly step over the sleeping multicoloured pile of limbs and head for the kitchen. Over the course of the next hour the others follow suit. Kai and Cole end up drifting into the kitchen to help Zane with breakfast.

“It’s Christmas; we should bake something,” Lloyd proposes sometime later while they eat breakfast (which was waffles as today was Sunday).

“That’s not a bad idea,” Nya agrees. “It’s not like we have anything better to do today, right?” she adds, looking to Zane for clarification.

Zane nods. “That is mostly correct, patrol of Ninjago city will be covered by the Neon Ninja until one o’clock this afternoon; we are free until then,” they tell the group.

“Then it’s decided: today we’ll be baking,” Lloyd decides. The group sets about preparing the kitchen for baking.

Before they can get started, however, Zane and Kai venture into the city to pick up the supplies that they were missing. Originally it was supposed to be Lloyd on Zane’s place (mostly for the laughs at sending the Red and Green ninja to get Christmas candy for decorating).

Before the pair can leave, Nya shoves the blond in the direction of the shower. They hasn’t showered since they returned yesterday. He had joined the others in the pile of sleepy ninja when they got in at the very, criminally , early hours of the morning.

Once they have the candy for decorating and the various ingredients they had been missing before, baking can finally get started. As to be expected, this particular activity elicits a mess. A big one.

Aside from Lloyd, who had forcibly made to go take a shower after not taking one for the last four days and thus changed into civvies, everyone hadn’t bothered to change out of their underclothes or the pyjamas some of them had changed into after returning from patrol last night (early this morning, really). On any other day, Wu would have made them change into their gi for morning training; today was not any other day.

Despite the frankly ridiculous amount of flour that has found its way into places in the kitchen they managed to get not only a tray of cookies rolled out but also a batch of rum truffles (only some of them had alcohol in them).

Now the group is seated around the tray of the cookie dough balls, various packets of candy are opened by their elbows. The aforementioned candy is being used to decorate a cookie each.

A bowl of safe-to-eat-raw cookie dough has been floating around the room, from person to person. Zane had made it after Jay (and Lloyd, the blue ninja protests) kept trying to eat the batter that had raw egg in it.

An indeterminate amount of time later, the scent of baking cookies wafts out of the kitchen to fill the hallways and the ninja disperse across the monastery.

By the time the ninja go on patrol that afternoon, and Wu and Misako return from their trip, there is a plate of misshapen cookies and a popcorn bowl full of what look (and smell) to be rum truffles? on the kitchen counter.

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 2 years ago

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i am so normal about him he's my family he's my friend my bestie he hates me and i hate him so much<3333 (lies i could never hate this man :'Dc)

Colours of love!!!

[First | Previous | Next]

Could you believe that we are on total of 21 pages for this comic? (counting all three stories) And yet here we are! This page is 20th and the next one is already on my patreon uwu. I am happy about how this page turned out, but also realizing that Ccino's sweater is probably too dark, but whoops to late to change anything, maybe in future pages I'm gonna fix it.

• Support me on Patreon! •

Just in case you didn’t know - this story is inspired by @zu-is-here , @help-im-a-gay-fish @yuriyuruandyuraart and some other people, and is about what if all characters we know are just actors playing their roles in some kind of TV shows. The names are the same, but personality can be different.

#reblog #other's art #colors of love #fnk #fluffynightkiller #ccino #nightmare #killer #okay technically i queued every update but i ALMOST missed this one and i am embarrassed that i could ever be this dumb to do so xD #so i'm a LITTLE calmer. a little bit now that i'm not a total mess in the tags rambling like crazy hhh xD #almost like i'm making up for the radio silence these last few months (and week but i was a lil too busy with exams ya know the drill :'D)#but man this guy is such a little gremlin i WISH i could study him like some unknown species because dear god he's so interesting<333 #night heard that line so many ties<- LMAAO hhhh killer you silly snarky smart little man i adore your stupid self<333 #night is so in love with dense people<33 moronsexual<33 (maybe cause he's dense and a moron himself hhh he's good at hiding it tho)#ccino looks sOOOO CUTE!!! the shading spots from the ink almost make it look like he has freckles and i will not stop screaming about it-#their smiles their sMILES THEY'RE SO HEALTHY AND HAPPY PLEASE omg thank you for some nice sweet fnk i needed this<33 #alright see ya in the next reblog be ready for more looove!!! >:Dc #amazing art<333

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wastelandcth · 4 years ago

Text

Afterglow - cth

summary: you love living in the afterglow of performing, but a fight between you and calum leaves you in a haze.

author’s notes: this is based off the song afterglow by taylor swift! i hope you enjoy!

warnings: angst, mentions of cigarettes.

masterlist || request || more songs for calum

Being a singer-songwriter had always felt like a dream, something you kept hidden in the back of your brain, the ultimate what-if. You had never imagined that one day you'd be on stage singing songs you wrote in your childhood bedroom and listening to the world sing them back. It had happened so quickly you almost forgot how to breathe. One second you were a nobody online sharing short videos of you singing and then the next you were signing a contract with a record label and going around the world. It almost seemed unreal, like you would wake up one day and all of the screams and flashing lights would disappear right under your feet.

And then there was Calum.

You first saw him at an award show. When the hectic moments between sets caused you both to be across the hallway from one another and his brown eyes met yours. The soft smiles exchanged between the two of you were more than enough to calm your nerves as you stepped out onto the stage and sang your latest single. You didn't know it then, but when your eyes met, Calum had wanted nothing more than to have your attention all the time. He hadn't even said a word to you, only looked at you in the lowlights of the backstage area and he already wanted to know everything about you. Even as his bandmates tugged him back to their seats in the crowd before your set began, Calum couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever had a chance to talk to you.

When performing, a lot of things run through your mind; like whether you're on beat with the song or if you're going to run into the piano behind you. It had been something you had needed to get used to quickly, learning how to put on a performance instead of just sitting in front of your phone and singing. While you had learned to love performing in front of crowds and put on a show, you loved nothing more than when the songs were done and the lights went out. You loved how the crowds hurt your ears and when all you could see was a sea of lights and flashes in front of you. You could perform a thousand shows and your favorite part would always be living in the afterglow of the music and cheers.

The second time you saw Calum had been when you walked out of the crowded arena, the lights barely bright enough for you to see the path that lead out to the car that was waiting to take you back home. You'd played your last show of the tour and all you wanted to do was shower before you would have to be dragged off to some after-party to drink and dance the night away. But when you spotted him off to the side, a cigarette in his hand as the smoke he exhaled floated into the sky and disappeared a few feet above his head, you couldn't help but feel like you needed to say something.

"You look like you're running away from something," Calum mumbled, another puff of smoke floating up before his head turned to face you, "I was hoping to actually talk this time, instead of just watching from the crowd."

"I didn't think you'd still be here. Label invites don't really usually stick around too after the show is done," you mumbled, watching as he dropped the cigarette and crushed it under the sole of his boot, the crunch and thud of his boot bringing goosebumps to your skin.

"Not just another label invite, am I? Or is that all you think me to be?"

"Guess we'll have to find out, huh?"

It had started off as two people crushed against one another, the loud music deafening out any chance for conversation. Then when the drinks that seemed to be handed out every few minutes were introduced, your hands found their way to his waist, where you made sure he wouldn't leave your side. As the night progressed, the touches did too, and before you knew it morning had come and the sunlight was bouncing off his skin as he let out soft snores.

That's what dating Calum had always been. A rush of emotions where you two took everything the other had to give and worried about the consequences later on. It was late nights when one of you had flown in for a few hours together and early mornings waking up alone while the other flew off to a new city. Being with Calum was soft words whispered in passing moments and sharing studios because it was one of the only times you two could be in the same city for longer than a night. It was video calls that lasted only minutes but those small eternities were shared between the two of you and that was all worth it. It was chaotic and crazy but you wouldn't trade it for the world, you wouldn't trade Calum for anything.

That was until the newspaper article came out.

You'd woken up alone like you usually did, the phone next to your head buzzing away. The bed was warm, meaning Calum hadn't left too long ago and as you tried your best to drift back off for a few more minutes, the buzzing continued. Your eyes barely focused, the harsh sunlight coming in from the window next to you was blinding and the only words you could make from the screen in front of you made your throat burn with bile.

Calum, Single, Public Stunt.

The article had been sent to you by your family and friends, many of them asking whether it was true and others asking if you needed anything. You didn't answer any of them, your hands were shaking and the anger that seemed to start at your stomach and rise up to the top of your head had made your jaw clench. As you scrolled through the article, laughing at yourself over how blind you had been and how much of an idiot they'd all made you seem, tears rolled down your cheeks. It wasn't until Calum's name popped up on your phone that you let out the shaky breath your tears had been holding in.

"Ba-"

"So you lied that night. You looked me in the eyes and lied to my face," you muttered, your voice dripping with hurt and anger towards the man on the other line, "You know, people warned me about you and I just brushed them off because I believed in you! I believed you were better than the rumors! I believed you were more than someone looking to stay relevant in the spotlight by fucking me."

"Honey, you don't understand, this isn't what it looks like!" Calum defended, his own voice shaking as he tried to explain himself.

"So you didn't talk to me because your label wanted to create more publicity for your band? You know they asked me to do the same thing? But I'm a decent human being and told them no, because I thought better of you and what you stood for, I guess I'm the idiot who thought that, huh?" you asked, your jaw clenching as the man you'd come to love stuttered, "Don't ever talk to me again, we're done."

"No, you just-"

"Fuck you, Calum."

Anger had consumed you for weeks on end. The media barely saw or heard from you ever since the story had come out. Your family hadn't even been around much, you'd blocked everyone out, opting to lock yourself in a studio and write for hours on end. Your phone had been shoved into a bag and hadn't left for weeks, the constant ringing and notifications brought your anger to a new high and it had been better to just ignore everything.

You hadn't spoken to Calum. His contact had been blocked and you weren't sure you'd ever want to unblock it again. The silence left the whole in your heart from growing, left you numb and staring down at the pages and pages of songs you knew would never be heard. Life felt like you had lost a fistfight and every time you found yourself awake in the early hours of the morning in an empty bed, you hated the reminders he'd left.

The letter arrived one morning when your mind was too exhausted to write and where your couch seemed like the comfiest place on Earth. The doorbell had rung and the sound of a letter falling onto the floor rang throughout the silence of your home. Your head had poked up from the couch long enough to see the envelope, yellow and taunting with familiar handwriting. It had laid there for hours that day, staring back at you whenever you walked by and it wasn't until you were laying in bed that night staring at the ceiling that you'd had enough of its taunting.

"I know you might not believe it. But it's all here, the truth and more. Love Cal x"

Your shaky hands read through the pages and pages of letters. Some from Calum to you, others were transcripts of emails or text messages. But they all told the truth, that Calum had never agreed to date you as a publicity stunt, that he dated you because he wanted to. You read through the emails he'd sent his label, asking for tickets to the sold-out tour to be able to see you. Suddenly, it had all made sense, why he'd been at the show alone and why he'd been so nervous when you'd caught him smoking outside alone. The pages you'd been holding were crinkled, tears smudging the ink that Calum had written showed his pain and hurt that you'd caused. With shaky breaths, you walked to your office, the piano that had remained untouched Calum had last been there an inviting sight. The seat was cold against your skin and the keys felt like strangers against your fingertips. The night went on, the moon and stars disappearing behind the morning glow and you kept on singing and writing until the alarm on your phone rang throughout the house.

"I wrote this song for...for the mistakes I made and I hope that those mistakes can be forgiven," you mumbled into the microphone, feeling the radio host's eyes on you as you took a deep breath, "And that the afterglow can be where we meet again."

The drumbeat was loud in your ears, matching your own heartbeat as your voice followed a few seconds after. You didn't even know if Calum would be listening, you hoped he was but after your fight and how you'd blocked him out for six months, you could only hope. The song played out for the world to hear, the smile on your face only for show as you counted down the time until the interview was over and you could go check your phone.

"Oh looks like we have a caller for you," the radio host broke you out from your thoughts, "Caller, you have the airwaves!"

"I think that was a beautiful song," a familiar Australian accent rang in your ears, bringing goosebumps to your skin, "I'm sure whoever it's about would be more than willing to meet you in the afterglow."

"I hope he does."

taglist: @hoodhoran @finelliine @moonlightcriess @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver @calpops @karajaynetoday @notlukehemmo @calumrose @devilatmydoor @lyss-xo @lowkeyflop @notinthesameguey @hemmo1996-5sosvevo @myloverboyash

#calum hood blurbs #calum hood imagines #calum hood x reader #5sos blurbs #5sos imagines #5sos x reader #5sos #calum hood #5 seconds of summer #gemma writes #song requests

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beigehearts · 4 years ago

Note

So I'm not sure if you're comfortable writing for these kinds of things so if you aren't then you can just ignore this.

You can write it with Hisoka, Chrollo, Illumi, one or all of them I don't mind (preferably Hisoka)

But I've got issues with eating, not a full out eating disorder (at least not that I know of, I haven't been to a doctor for it) but I find it intimidating to eat full meals, and I normally only eat a couple things daily. Maybe an apple here and an orange for later.

And because of that I've sworn off having kids until I can get it under control (its been 4 years and doesn't seem to get better, I just keep losing weight) last time I weighed myself I was 112 which is getting pretty close to underweight for my height and age.

So could you please do a trio (or individual) x fem reader where she's been bullied about her weight by her mom and peers and has a hard time eating, and because of that she doesn't want to get pregnant and risk having a baby born premature or extremely unhealthy, or die. But somehow she manages to get pregnant (maybe failed contraceptives) so Hisoka/Illumi/Chrollo tries helping her get better about eating. Setting timers and having thought out meals for the day that includes all the food groups needed.

I've always been told to eat more or that all I ever eat is junk food but I'm not fat, I'm not extremely skinny, I just wish there would've been somebody telling me that everything would be fine and help me through it. Nobody has yet though, everybodys first reaction to me saying I rarely eat is that I should eat more when I literally cannot force myself to do so.

I really do apologize for this being long, and if you don't write this I can always find somebody else.

No I completely understand! I’ve struggled with my eating in the past and I sympathize. I know that hearing “just eat” and what not doesn’t help and I know it’s hard- but all you can do is try your hardest to get better- the journey is just as important as the result I’m more than happy to do this request- I really appreciate it because I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while. I tried to get this done asap because I feel like its important I really hope you like it!!

Alright let’s get started lads fem!reader CW: eating disorder, pregnancy

Illumi

It’s been days since you had your last meal. As his future wife and a future mother it has worried him sick. And at some points you wonder if he’s only concerned about the baby. You’ve been on birth control for months after having a long talk with Illumi that children would need to wait a bit until you have yourself under control. He’s been acting strangely, he’s been pacing which he has never done before, and snapping at his brothers, sister, and mother.

You sit on the balcony, a heavy rain pounding down, the awning above you barely protecting you. You look into the distance and rub your belly, as if trying to wish away the baby. It’s not that you don’t want children, you really do, and you also want to for Illumi’s sake. But it’s not time. You’re not ready. Your body is too frail and your hips cannot hold a child. The mere thought of something going wrong with your precious baby, is enough to make you sick. You’ve been brewing in bad thoughts for days since you found out- but this isn’t time to sulk...

Illumi opens the sliding door to the balcony, staring at you for a long while before sitting on the ground next to your chair. He grabs your hand on your belly and rubs it gently- with so much affection you feel like he’s a different person.

“Y/n.” He looks up at you with his big, dark eyes. “It’s scary.” He pauses, being unusually sensitive. “I can’t wait for the baby. But I need you right now.” He seems very out of his element, he’s not exactly the type to share his emotions. Though he can tell he needs to put himself aside for the well being of his future wife and future child. “We’re going to get through this together.” He nods to himself, and places his cheek on your hand, “You don’t have to do this alone. You have me now. I apologize that I have not been doing my best for you- but we’ll do it.”

He stands up, bringing you with him, pressing you against his chest. He holds your head against him, then pats your head gently. “We’ll set a schedule. We’ll eat together at every meal. I promise to be here now.” He begins playing with your hair and wraps an arm around your waist, “It’ll be just like training.”

You tilt your head up to him and frown at the training part.

He stutters and says, “No, it’ll be a process.” A sign of small smile makes it’s way onto his face, “Our baby will be just fine.”

Illumi has never shown you such a sensitive side of him and you begin to wonder if he’s gone through this too. Either way, his comforting head pats and warm chest are enough for you in this moment.

Hisoka

Sometimes your boyfriend could be just so oblivious. He always cares and pays attention to you but sometimes things go over his head. He equates your morning sickness which is just dry heaving with being dehydrated. Though maybe telling him would just make it easier. You’ve been telling Hisoka that you want to get better. You’re tired of this burden on you constantly. Tired of food looking like poison. He’s done his best to help you. Though he’s somewhat lost in how to do so.

He loves you dearly and honestly how much he loves you sometimes scares you. You try not to think about what lengths he’s gone for you.

Hisoka is laying in bed, shuffling cards and twirling them on his finger. He’s quite good with his hands. Quiet music plays from the radio- some new hip hop hit. He averts his eyes from his cards, to look at you. It’s been a month and it’s about time he knows why your belly has a small bulge- it not being from you eating better or more.

You spit it out- wasting no time and getting to the point. “I’m pregnant.” You close your eyes, as if scared he’s gonna lash out or break something. But none of that happens, it’s silence.

You peek one eye open to see him doe eyed, caught in head lights. The cards fall out of his hands. He clears his throat and fixes his face, “Come here baby.” You obey him and sit down next to him on the bed, he pulls you onto his lap and holds your face in his hands.

“I wish you told me sooner. I could have prepared.”

Eyes begin swelling in your eyes and he once again looks stunned. You burst into tears and hold onto his shirt, nuzzling your head into his neck. Through broken sobs you manage to say, “I’m no good as a mother. I can’t take care of it! I’m no good Hisoka- what if I kill it? I’m no good.” Sobs rack your body, leaving your trembling against his own body.

Hands grab your shoulders and he pushes you up, then wipes the tears from your face. “You’re perfect to hold a baby. What is it you’re worried about?”

You begin to hyperventilate after you have no more tears to cry. Through each breath you gasp out, “I’m... too... small... what if... I have a...” At the mere thought of your next words your heart begins pounding, “Miscarriage?” You let out one last sob of a word, “I can’t feed me and my baby...”

He shushes you and pushes some hair behind your ear, “Oh honey. You’ve been working so hard on getting better. You’re sick and that’s okay. We just have to work harder? Right?”

Nodding but you still can’t control your breathing, he says, “Come on take a deep breath.” Listening to his directions you do. “It’s gonna be alright. You’ll be a great mother. You work so hard. We just have to keep pushing.”

You nod, and collapse against his chest and whisper, “Is the baby going to be okay?”

“Yes, and so will you.”

Chrollo

Once the both of you found out you were pregnant, it was pure confusion. You were taking contraceptives and Chrollo knows how much you don’t want a baby right now. It was a long conversation you had when you got contraceptives. Despite wanting a child, he wanted nothing more than you to be happy and healthy. It’s been months, four months to be precise. You lost 3 pounds in that time no matter what you did. You just couldn’t make yourself eat and when you did you felt terrible, guilty.

It was mealtime, all though you haven’t eaten at mealtime in weeks, Chrollo keeps trying. He made a light salad, with tomatoes and olives, that’s all. He knows how the sight of big meals only discourages you.

He steps around the table with a small plate in his hand, and sets it in front of you. A small plate with a few bites of salad. It should be easy. But it’s not. He kisses your forehead and sits on the other side of the table. A candle is lit and a single rose is in a vase. He tries to make every meal seem like a feast but lacking the food. He has a normal size bowl full of salad and he smiles at you from across the table.

“Time to eat.” He takes a bite of his salad- not pressuring you in any way to eat. The plate itself is enough pressure. You pick up the fork like you’ve practiced so many times and stare at the green leaves beneath you. The fork picks up a single leaf and you bring it to your mouth, opening and hesitantly placing it inside. Chewing is almost the worst part- but the worst part is swallowing. You swallow the leaf and look up at Chrollo. You can tell he’s trying to mask his excitement as not to overwhelm you.

The most you manage is another six single leaves, and a single, half cut cherry tomato.

You look up to him once again, shame taking over you, “That’s all I can do...”

His eyes go wide and you wonder if he’s upset that you didn’t keep going. Instead he leaps out of his chair and around the table. He picks you up into his arms and spins you around while laughing. He gently places you back down on the floor and can’t contain his smile.

“Oh darling you’re doing so great. I’m so proud of you.” Tears being to prick at your eyes when hearing his words, “You’re so good, let’s try again tomorrow okay?”

He squeezes you tightly and shakes you side to side, “You’re just so wonderful. I’m so proud.” No one has ever said they’re proud of you besides him. It’s such a blissful sound to your ears.

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