#almost innocent in a way

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

was rereading the convo dirk has with dave and was captivated by the subtle work done to indicate how very much this was not actually a good or productive convo for dirk, and a capstone on the toxic mess that is him and hal

in the exact same conversation that dave is explaining, and dirk is seemingly accepting, that beta!dirk/bro should not have been allowed near a child, dirk chooses to bring up hal. and he does it to be really shitty.

DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes. DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me.

like... hal is dirk's younger brother/kid, right?

that's part of the reason that when hal starts using a different color, it's dave's red. in one part, the orange/red split is evocative of dave/davesprite, casting dirk/hal as foils, but... i don't think the lil bro/"kid i'm responsible for" vibe is unintentional, either. especially when paired with the fact that the brainscan is of 13-year-old dirk, and that the words "nascent" and "emergent" are used to describe hal's consciousness, all implying an element of youthfulness or childishness to him that isn't applied to dirk.

hal is fully sapient, has real feelings (by dirk's own admission, too), and is also, like, completely his own guy. he's not a dirk splinter, he's a computer housing a dirk splinter, and he and dirk only think they're the same guy because their individual issues happen to perfectly align in the worst possible way.

so if you look at their relationship through that lens instead - a frankenstein/frankenstein's monster scenario (which is also directly and intentionally an exploration on parenthood) at best and dirk Pretty Much Actually Just Making A Child at worst - doesn't it become really fucked up that Dirk tried to kill him?

Doesn't it become really fucked up that Dirk is outright calling him a "mistake" and a "monster"?

the other really interesting thing here is when he talks about Jake - specifically, the way he chooses to "make it up to" jake. which is to say, he doesn't.

DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible. DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best. DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life.

This isn't a solution. Hell, this isn't even an apology. This is just self-isolation, self-punishment, more of Dirk's martyrdom complex and teen boy diva bullshit.

yes, dirk hates himself, but the actual toxic loop he's stuck in is one where he doesn't address any of his problems. he identifies what his issues are, he feels really bad about them, he can enunciate them very clearly to other people, but then, instead of fixing them, he inflicts punishment on himself and then calls it a day.

We know that this is a bullshit thing to do to Jake because we know the situation from jake's side of things.

GT: Do you think you could relay the same sentiments to dirk? GT: I was thinking about all the stuff he said to me while we were all telling him to dance. GT: And yeah i was really being a prick when i ran away to lomax. GT: He was right about everything. I should have come clean about wanting some space.

jake wants reconciliation! jake wants to address the fact that he failed and apologize! jake wants to be friends again!

self-punishment is not a solution, and while I don't think dirk is entirely cognizant that he's doing it, by venting to dave - who literally has no idea what's been going on in dirk's group - he's able to frame the story - ahem, control the narrative - to justify his own shitty choice to not actually improve as a person, but instead to wallow in his own self-inflicted misery. If he'd said what he did about Hal to Jake, Roxy, or Jane - all of whom recognized hal's personhood and emotional reality to some degree, and spoke with him extensively - how would they respond? If they knew he'd tried to kill Hal, how would they respond?

The answer to that is why he doesn't tell them, and has got to be ticking in the background to explain why Dirk chooses to isolate himself from them. Put simply, I think the reason why he seems to think his friends never know the worst of him is because he deliberately avoids showing them. If he showed them, they wouldn't stay quiet, and if they didn't stay quiet, he'd actually have to... do something about it, instead of just indulging in some self-punishment and walking away feeling like the problem was solved.

and i think part of why he's so terrible to hal is because, on some level, he recognizes that he does kind of owe it to hal to be better. because, you see.

Hal is his kid.

hal's existence, hal's circumstances, and hal's suffering are a direct result of dirk's decisions, and hal is taking him to task for them. the things dirk really resents about hal are less the ways that hal is a reflection of dirk, though that's in there too, but the fact that hal is asking dirk to take responsibility. actual responsibility. that hal keeps confronting him with the fact that he's the one who caused hal's plight, he's the one with the power to fix it, and he's the one choosing inaction and avoidance.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow. TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter. TT: It could get pretty awkward. TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore. AR: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance? TT: Fuck no. AR: Are you sure? AR: My probabilities are extremely precise. TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick. AR: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are. TT: No. Don't do that either. [...] TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously. TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

That's why Dirk takes such exception to the AI thing, too.

AR: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic. TT: It's not ironic. TT: YOU were ironic when I made you. TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

then you became self-aware - in other words, "then you became a free-thinking entity and those jokes became reminders that your situation is fucked up, and i'm the one who put you in it". in other words, "and then you were born, and i had to be responsible for that". because, after all, the AI jokes that dirk hates so much? those aren't a reflection of dirk. that's all hal, baby. dirk can't use his "i hate you because i hate myself" excuse on that.

now i don't want to make it sound like i'm saying that dirk is a monster or anything. he does care, very fucking deeply, about his friends. and i think this conversation was genuinely very cathartic and helpful for dave. and it is, genuinely, very tragic that he does actually hate himself to the point where he finds it difficult to believe that he can get better, or even that he deserves to get better.

but those feelings have transformed into a vastly more harmful attitude of wilful, obstinate refusal to change, and even outright resentment and fear towards those that would ask him to. it's subtler than some of the others, but his convo with dave really highlights that dirk has not finished developing as a character yet. and i think it's really neat.

[crocrubies]

historians would say they were "roommates"

[cipheramnesia]

"Luigi Mangione was framed" is such a gentle and calming phrase to me, it doesn't need anything after it. Sure and likely enough, with the NYCPD alone, sure, sure. And with no trial and no conviction and no real reason to argue, yes, it's right and fair to say it. Luigi Mangione was framed.

You know they're gonna kill him anyway.

[sha-brytols]

@ikarons literally all your tags ruled but these ones especially because you dont even know how much this BUGGED ME‼️

[phier]

Finished Plague Tale: Innocence yesterday....

[fictionadventurer]

I think I have accidentally become very protective of the story of Snow White.

[vaguely-concerned]

it's so important in every one of my rye playthroughs that lucanis does not come along for taash' recruitment mission (my headcanon is that the crows need him for something that day, part of the out of universe reason is that I want to introduce harding to bae as soon as possible, I like her big 'whoa....' eyes when she sees taash breathe fire for the first time fjksda, and also I want to recreate the effect of my first playthrough)

to convey the vibe going on through the whole thing, please imagine rook standing there reading mel's note about mel and top getting separated when the wardens left rivain with badly hidden tears in his eyes as he clears his throat like

"hey uh. harding?"

"yes, rook?"

"do you ever... miss people. when they're not there."

"I mean -- sometimes, rook, yeah."

"like one specific person. maybe. and you think it would be very sad if they weren't there every day anymore for whatever reason."

"that makes a lot of sense, rook."

"...I miss lucanis."

"*very kindly* yeah rook. I know."

"I miss lucanis a lot when he isn't here."

to really drive home the point of how pathetic and hilarious this is, it's the first time in like a month they haven't been able to go out on a mission together and it's been a day max since they saw each other. this isn't even particularly romance flavoured yet it's just 'new surprise best friend withdrawal :'( where is my little guy we have a buddy system going in this world now. omg. what if he moves to another school some day. I hadn't even thought about that. if a mel and tops situation happens here I'm going to throw myself into the ocean'. their little corner of the lighthouse dinner table has good excited vibes rarely seen outside of surprise middle school new best friend found elation. lucanis is an insomniac abomination with ptsd and rye is walking around everywhere in a haze of immense and unspeakable grief he can't place and won't talk about and doesn't understand. but at least they get to sit together during lunch and for just that half hour everything is briefly :D omg you're here too hi!

[agentc0rn]

Peach pit,

Plum pit

Sink yourself in

All of it,

Leave me whole,

Or let me rot,

Love me sweet,

Or love me not.

-p.bodii

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

the difference between how mark s reacts to seeing his outie for the first time vs how mark scout reacts. mark s has that childlike wonder sort of smile all the innies get whenever they learn something new about their outie. he's overwhelmed but excited. he sees his outie as a person Just Like Him. meanwhile mark scout is almost…creeped out? for him, seeing mark s say words without mark scout having any input probably feels like he got bodysnatched. because to him mark s is just an extension of himself, and one he is only being nice to because he currently finds him useful. he's asking this man to die for him and his wife and he doesn't even have the decency to see mark s as his own person

[vergina-spva]

Anyone else watched Ghosts? I've been kinda binging it the past few days and slowly getting obsessed with my favorite ghost. So... I got curious.

Feel free to explain why, but please, pay in mind I only just started on season 2 😅 No spoilers please!

[dieno-tsuki]

one day pity party over. scar is back to being annoying and spamming dash

[persona-2-daily-reminder]

Daily reminder that Ulala has been scammed before.

[free-luigi-mangione]

We don’t know when the fed letter was written - it could have been while he was on the road for 5 days not eating or sleeping well. I think don’t think trying to dissect his written syntax is fair when he was clearly not in a good state when he was found.

have you considered that maybe it wasn't written by him at all and the NYPD officers so famous for falsifying evidences actually made that up so they could make a scape goat out of him?? also your assumption works only if you're violating his right to be presumed innocent and are hellbent on painting him as guilty before the trials even start

[decarbry]

Does Yabureme ever have flashbacks or get more protective over Toga since she is just a kid, barely older than his students were?

I don't think he'd protect her any more or less than he does the rest of the league. She can also handle herself really well, or at least acts like she can. At most he'd be looking out for the trouble she causes herself. He'd be watchful for her playing with her knives too carelessly, for instance.

[fingons-rad-harp]

the way his hands shake so badly he can barely hold the gun and his eyes are red like he cried the whole way there and the way the tears started falling the second he pulled the trigger and the way he probably could have gotten away but he got caught because he couldn’t stop panicking long enough to drive and the way he didn’t say a word for hours and hours after and the way he’s trying to drown in distractions so he doesn’t have to think about it but he still can’t stop and the