#almost good enough to make me forget I was watching a rly bad movie

[totopopopo]

Was I the only one whoooo didn’t love acoss spiter verbse

[mieohmy]

𝖢𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝟣𝟢𝟣 | 𝖫𝖾𝖾 𝖩𝖾𝗇𝗈

PAIRING: lee jeno x reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, humor, comfort, established relationship au, college au,  this rly is just a self indulgent fic kjasdfk

WC: 2.1k

NOTES: slight argument/fighting ?? , cursing

SUMMARY: jeno wants your attention, your comforting presence, your love- he simply wants you.

for the bday boy that i treasure sm! happy birthday to puppy jeno <333

ღ

The phone next to you lies untouched, and practically has been for days- or has it been a week already? I mean, it wasn’t your fault that upcoming finals had been taking you to the depths of hell, and you had no choice but to lock yourself at home to study for a week on end. 

Which brings you to day 7? 8? of being holed up in your room all day, memorizing a bazillion tiny printed words and trying to cram as much information as possible in that overworked brain of yours. Getting about 4-5 hours of sleep a day, you couldn’t remember anymore- or even care to remember. Not to mention the added stress that came along with being any normal college student. Wasn’t life just wonderful?

You feel bad for everyone that has tried to contact you over this stressful period in your life (since you completely turned your phone off to eliminate all distractions), but the urge to stop studying completely and just check up on the real world and all its happenings grows stronger. You breathe in -out, constantly chanting ‘self-control’ over and over again in your head. Then your eyes slowly open, and you slap yourself one last time as if to say ‘get it together' before diving back into the books.

Just two more days. Two more days and you can finish and not have to stress about finals until results come out. 

At this point, you were surviving off of coffee, tea, random stolen snacks that your boyfriend would bring over from his dorm. 

Damn, when’s the last time you had a proper meal? Monday?

And then you frown. What day even is it today? You glance at your calendar and- 

Goodness grief, it’s Sunday already. 

You almost have a midlife crisis over wasting basically a week doing nothing but sitting at your desk and looking at words, but then again at this point- you’re just over it and want to be done as soon as possible. 

But soon, a weird feeling arises after you recall today’s date- like you were forgetting something. You place a hand over your forehead. Was there something important today? 

And as if the universe read your mind, the doorbell rings.

A giant wave of confusion washes over you. Was someone supposed to come over today?

-and you just completely wiped it from your mind?

You’re still running through your memories as you walk to the door. No, it's not Chae since she has finals too...

Opening it, you’re not at all expecting who was behind it. 

“Jeno-?”

He blinks back at your wide eyes, expression turning concerned, and you rub your temples in exasperation and defeat. 

“Oh, did we have a date today or something? I’m so sorry- I totally forgot.”

His eyebrows furrow. “No, I was just supposed to come over to hang out with you....”

“It’s been so long since we last talked, baby. You haven’t responded to any of my texts. What’s going on?” He promptly adds, staring intently at you. 

You let out a sigh, and jeno notices your tense shoulders and dark under-eye circles. “I thought you knew. Finals are coming up so I’ve been stuck at home cramming for about a week now actually.” 

His frown deepens. “I did know. And still, y/n..” he says in a warning tone. 

You know what his voice implies, you’ve heard it plenty of times at this point, but right now you don’t have to energy to listen to his nagging. “ I know, I know. Just- come in, I guess.....”

To be completely honest, you wanted to send jeno back home- there was still a lot more information left to cover and you obviously weren’t in your best condition, but he was the one who actually remembered your ‘date’ and drove to your place, so you would feel even worse making him go all the way back to his dorm. 

Jeno easily follows you in, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back any comments while examining your place even though barely anything has changed since he last visited- mostly because there was nothing to change when you were in your room all day. 

You walk to the kitchen, getting your boyfriend some water while yawning. Meanwhile, your mind is drifting away, thinking about what topics are left that you have to go over later. “What are we even doing today?” 

Jeno plops on your couch, arms behind his head. “I don’t know. A movie?”

You hide your grimace, immediately thinking of how much time would be wasted watching one, or possibly even more if jeno was feeling it. In the one to two hours of a movie, you could be done with chapter two and three-

“Y/n??”

Your head snaps up. “Yes?”

“Are you gonna come over here or just stand there in the kitchen all day?” he teases.

You shake your head to clear the fog and join jeno on the couch. Scrolling through the options, you automatically snuggle up next to him, eyes blearily watching the moving tv screen. 

He decides on this one animated film, and you’re too drained to pay attention so you simply nod and let the movie begin. But even though you try your best to focus on the storyline and what’s currently going on, your mind keeps wandering off to other, more boring things- your studies, obviously. 

The number of chapters you covered, the slight of chapters you have left, how long you would have to stay up to finish going through your planned amount of information  -all the stressful thoughts swirling in your head, and it only exhausts you more. 

You let out a sigh, and jeno turns to you. “Are you okay? You’ve been sighing nonstop since we started the movie.” 

You clear your throat, biting back a yawn. “Oh- yeah, sorry. I won’t do it anymore.”

Your boyfriend stiffens but doesn’t say anything, attention returning to the flashing screen in front of him. 

You did try. You really did. But your eyelids keep drifting shut and your head keeps slowly lolling forward and snapping back up -it’s not until your forehead accidentally knocks against jeno’s chest that he finally speaks up again. 

“Y/n. You need to take a break and get some sleep. Now.” His tone is sharp and commanding. 

You snap your eyes back open, vision blurry. “No- it’s fine. I’m good, let’s keep watching.” 

The immediate switch in the air is scary, jeno swiftly reaching for the remote and pausing the movie to look at you dead straight in the eyes before setting it back down with a loud, clattering noise. “You need to rest. I can tell from how tired you look, and I know you’ve been studying for so long, so why is it that hard to just relax for a little?” 

You groan, distress breaking through. “I can’t, okay? You already understand how stressful school is and how important my upcoming tests are. I know you’re just trying to be kind and thoughtful but-“ 

“But what?” He cuts you off, the frustration he’s been hiding for a while finally revealing itself. “Taking a rest from burning your brain out isn’t going to kill you, y/n.”

Your hands at your side clench and unclench, a wave of emotions overcoming you. “I know that. But I can’t afford to have a break now.” Everything suddenly feels overwhelming, and your voice comes out strained and uncontrolled. 

“I’m almost there, jeno. It’s so close, and if I stop now, I’ll feel like a failure.”

He laughs a short and echoing bark. “How do you think I feel? I was trying to brush everything aside and act like it was all fine, but it’s certainly not when you’re like this.”

You falter. 

Jeno gets up, making direct eye contact with you even though his body is trembling and his voice is shaky. 

“I spent the past week just lying in bed and worrying about you- if you were eating okay and getting enough sleep. I was constantly texting you reminders to take care of yourself, only to find out from your friend that you turned your phone completely off.  Do you know how shitty of a person I was feeling? I didn’t want to be a distraction to you because I know how much you care about your grades, but it’s killing me, y/n. I want to be there for you, but instead, I end up feeling like the worst boyfriend in the world.” 

He shudders before continuing,

“And then I come here, brushing off all my worries since I was super excited to finally be with you after so long, and then I have to see you in such a bad condition. Barely taking care of yourself, barely even surviving on your own just so you can pass your exams that I know you’ll already do well on no matter what. As your boyfriend who wants to help and be here for you, do you know how much my heart hurts?”  

He finishes, but not before wiping away the frustrated tears that appeared in his angry rant.

It takes one beat -two beats, before you immediately spring up, rushing towards jeno and throwing your arms around him. 

He accepts it, burying his face into your shoulder and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. 

The guilt courses through your body, and you understand. The consequences of your actions hit you, hard, and you know you deserve it all. Jeno just wants to know that you’re here. You’re here with him.

“I’m really sorry,” you murmur into his hair, “I’m really, really sorry, jeno.” 

You hate the fact that you can still feel the slight wetness of his tears soaking through your-technically his- shirt. You pull back, looking straight into his eyes to make sure he knows you’re being genuine.

“I promise to pay more attention to myself, and I promise I won’t ever let it happen again. I won’t shut you out anymore... and you can come over to take care of me whenever you want, okay?”

Jeno slowly nods, and you softly wipe away the corners of his red eyes of any wetness.

He pulls you closer to him again, inhaling your scent one more time, and you finally let yourself go. 

After about a minute of just enjoying each other’s warm embrace - one that you feel like you haven’t felt in so long- you allow yourself to smile and pull back just enough to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“Was my baby just lonely and missed me too much?” you sing in a soft voice. He lets out a disgruntled noise in response, shaking his head against your body. 

But you both know what the answer is.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed.” You tug his arm easily to your room, putting off your studies, at least for today.

“You’re really gonna take a break this time?” Jeno asks, eyeing you carefully. 

You grin. “Yes? Besides, I know you’re always down for cuddles.” 

You drag him to the bed, taking his arms and wrapping them around your body as exhaustion quickly fills you. 

You fight yourself to stay awake as long as you can to enjoy jeno’s presence, but he notices and hugs you even closer if possible, whispering softly, “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And before you finally drift off, you sleepily murmur, “I love you, jeno. Like, a lot.” 

Even after you fall asleep in his embrace, he stares down at you, softly kissing your forehead.

I love you too. 

bonus bc i adore jeno too much :

“Jeno- for the last time, you’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“I know.... but-“

You shut him up with a quick kiss.

“You’re the sweetest.”

Another kiss.

“Funniest.”

Peck.

“Handsomest.” 

His ever so growing smile freezes. Jeno looks at you, a surprisingly solemn look on his face. 

You raise an eyebrow, confused. 

“......even more than Nam joo hyuk?”

Ah. He had to go for the favorite actor. 

You swallow, battling an intense internal war before begrudgingly nodding. “Okayyy...fine. You are.”  

He crosses his arms. “I’m what?”

You roll your eyes, whining. “I already said it!”

Jeno shakes his head firmly. “Say the whole thing.”

You take a deep breath in, internally apologizing to your beloved actor. “......you, lee -verymuchanannoyingbaby- jeno, are more handsome than Nam joo hyuk.” Your sentence is finished swiftly in one breath, words slurring together. It actually pains you to say that. But it’s good enough for your boyfriend. 

Jeno delights in the squeal you let out when he picks you up in his arms to spin you around. 

“Fuck yeah- take that, nam joo hyuk!”

ღ

a/n: anyways im going to go hide away and cry over jeno now ^^

[butgilinsky]

tension // rc

warning; language, underaged drinking, mentions of cheating, mentions of anti depressants but not rly depression, mentions of smut but nothing descriptive, hella angst

summary; you find out the real reason kiara doesn’t hang out with you and the kooks anymore. 

word count; 4.5k+

rafe x reader, platonic!kie x reader, and a sprinkle of rafe x kie

you had been friends with kiara for years. back in middle school, when kiara sat at a table by herself, you shocked your friends by placing your tray directly across from hers and asking her why she chose to sit by herself. 

you knew people that liked kiara, so you knew she wasn’t forced to outcast herself, but you quickly learned that she didn’t like the people at your school. she’d rather save turtles that caught in a plastic bag rather than talk about which swimsuit fit her body the best. 

she wasn’t like your other friends, and you liked that about her. you liked that she didn’t stray from her genuine personality to fit in, like most people on figure eight did. she was authentic and real, and she wasn’t going to jeopardize that for a surface level friendship. 

kiara used to blame her kook year on you. if you hadn’t befriended her in middle school than she wouldn’t have felt so lost when you moved onto high school and she was stuck to finish seventh and eighth grade. the age difference - only two years - never made a difference before, but after spending an entire year with you, her last two years in middle school were hard to swallow. 

the pogues didn’t go to the same school, and with you in high school, she had no choice but to turn to sarah. sarah had been a mutual friend between the two of you, and provided a sense of comfort and familiarity that kiara couldn’t find anywhere else. 

kiara was excited when she began high school. she could start hanging out with you again, coordinating her elective classes to spend more time around you. it was everything she had been looking forward to for the entirety of eighth grade. 

she looked up to you. a girl two years older than her that didn’t care when her friends ragged on her for spending so much time with a freshman. you took her under your wing and made sure nobody gave her shit in high school, and she’d never forget that. even when she spent the entire next year swearing off any and all kooks. 

you never understand the switch she had flipped, thinking she had gotten comfortable with her makeshift life on figure eight. you thought you proved to her that kooks weren’t all that bad. you showed her that for every time topper made a crude remark, kelce was there to interject with a light hearted response. you tried to make her comfortable there, treating her like the younger sister you never had. 

then she flipped on you. when her and sarah had a falling out, you were caught in the middle of it. you’d been dating rafe at the time, which made you biased in a way you wished you didn’t have to be. you couldn’t throw sarah in your rear view mirror like she didn’t mean anything. she was in the heart of your friend group, and despite what you wanted, you were around her too much to cut her out entirely. 

losing kiara hurt. you’d opened up to her about things that nobody else knew about you. you’d slept at her house when things with your parents got rocky. she was there when your brother moved for college, and offered a sense of comfort you couldn’t find in your other friends. 

she didn’t ask you to choose, she simply left without another word. she told you that she’d see you in school but that had to be the extent of it. if she was swearing off all kooks, that had to include you, no matter how much it hurt her to walk away from you. 

your last summer on the island was supposed to be the best one yet. sure, you’d be back for small breaks during the semester, and an entire month between fall and spring, but you were going all the way to south carolina in august. you were determined to have a good time. 

leaving rafe would be hard, seeing as he had just gotten back from his first, and last, year at college, but you were prepared to face the battles, no matter how tough. 

something about this summer felt off from the beginning. you didn’t know what it was, but you tried to shrug it off anytime it came up. you did your part in trying to keep your boyfriend and his goons out of trouble, though that proved easier said than done. 

it didn’t help when sarah dropped off the radar, beginning to sneak around and disappear for long periods of time. she had blown it off every time you asked, despite you promising her that she could trust you with every fiber of her being. you had been her honorary older sister for years, and you dating her older brother only heightened that. 

when she blew off your plans to go to the movie night, you made a mental note to dig into what exactly deemed more important than sneaking drinks during the movie neither of you cared about. 

“hey, kie.” your head turned to follow your boyfriend, eyebrows pulled together when he stepped up to the concessions stand to stand beside the girl you hadn’t spoken to in - you don’t even remember how long. 

you picked up on kiara’s annoyed expression quickly, sensing a small amount of discomfort in the way that she quickly ignored rafe. he didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care, but it captured your interest fairly quickly. 

topper tried to grab your attention, mentioning something about the bottle of burnett’s he scored from his plug earlier that day. you waved him off quickly, eyes firmly locked on the two that stood just a few yards away from you. 

“how are you?” kiara spared you a short glance before practically rolling her eyes, trying to mentally map out an escape plan, no doubt. 

“i’m fine.” rafe nodded, swinging his weight from the balls of his feet back onto his heels. 

“good, good. um, tell your boy that we know what he did.” kiara’s expression stood steady, despite the confusion clear in her eyes that you were sure rafe didn’t pick up on. 

“sorry, what boy are you talking about?” her eyes found yours again, but she could tell you were just as lost as she was, so she looked back at rafe quickly. 

“uh, he’ll know.” kiara rolled her eyes one final time, though the eye contact between the two last just long enough for your fists to clench at your sides before she turned and walked away. 

“bye.” you watched rafe watch kiara walk away from him, his hands shoved in his pockets and back turned towards you. 

there was something in the way that he watched her leave. the way his gaze lingered on her longer than normal. the way he chewed on the inside of his cheek when he spun around to face you. how his eyes were locked on his feet for a short second before he was offering you a bright smile as he returned to the same smiling rafe before he’d seen kiara. 

“what the fuck was that?” you didn’t notice topper pinching the bridge of his nose behind you, shaking his head at rafe’s lack of subtlety. you didn’t see the way that kelce was shaking his hand back and forth, telling rafe to completely deny whatever the hell just happened between him and kiara. 

sure, to anybody else watching it was just rafe and kiara talking. two people that supposedly didn’t like each other, despite their shared title of a kook. two people talking about something very vague and somehow secretive. 

but to you, it was your boyfriend talking to a girl he often didn’t associate with. it was rafe talking to your ex best friend who had left you high and dry after a fall out with your other friend, which you had no hand in. it was the girl who had deemed you guilty by association after sarah had turned her back on the girl. 

it was obvious there was tension between the two of them, but you had no idea why. 

“what was what?” rafe wrapped an arm around your neck, trying to pull you into his chest but you planted your hand flat on his chest to stop the collision. 

“that whole interaction, the tension, what the fuck was that about?” rafe rolled his eyes and moved to press a quick kiss to your forehead, something he knew calmed you down without fail.

“the only tension between kie and i is the same tension between her and the rest of figure eight. she hates me, ‘cause i’m a kook and i mess with her dirty pogue friends.” you wanted to push it further, wanted to say something else, but you couldn’t stop yourself from melting into the boy’s embrace when he pressed another, longer kiss to your forehead. 

“stop stressing, baby. let’s go sit down.” you nodded, accepting the kiss rafe moved to place on your lips. 

the next time you noticed something being off was midsummers. your mind had already been racing when you’d stood beside topper, eyes locked on sarah and john b less than a mile away. you were confused as to why she wasn’t being discrete about it, kissing him during one of the biggest events of the summer. 

your hand found topper’s arm, squeezing it gently before leaning into his side to provide a sense of comfort that he surely needed. you were confused, hurt for topper, and you knew it would inevitably become your job to get to the bottom of it all. 

you were upset that rafe wasn’t ravishing you in your dress, like you had originally planned. he had made a few comments in your ear as the night progressed, especially after the slit in your dress rode up while you crouched behind kelce to hide from your parents while you downed a glass of wine. 

his eyes had been glued to you almost all night long, and while you were drinking it all in and enjoying every minute of it, he’d disappeared at some point and you were now left to comfort a confused and hurt topper. 

when the commotion between jj and the head of security erupted in the middle of the crowd, your eyes found rafe. you knew he had something to do with it. you would’ve blown it off as a casual kook v. pogue rivalry interaction, but the way his eyes were trained on kiara when she began sticking up for jj made your blood boil. 

“you okay?” topper nudged you with his elbow, but you shook your head gently, eyes burning into your boyfriend’s back as he watched kiara run off, despite her parents’ protests. 

“do you know something i don’t, top?” his eyebrows pulled together in confusion, not catching on to what you were asking him. “what’s going on between rafe and kiara?” 

you knew you’d hit something when topper’s face fell. his lips parted as he tried to come up with something. a diversion, a distraction, an excuse, anything. you could tell he was digging through his brain for something to say to you. 

“topper, what the hell is going on?” he started stuttering, falling over his words as he shook his head slowly. 

“n-nothing. why would you- what makes you think that anything’s going on with them? kiara and rafe? pfft, that’s ridiculous, y/n.” your jaw clenched and you put a hand flat on his chest, pushing him back and away from the people stood around the two of you. 

“topper. spill. now.” your voice dropped to an octave you never used with topper. he’d seen you use it with rafe on multiple occasions, and the one time that kelce lied to you about the wine stain on your carpet. he knew it was a tone that you only used for specific situations, and he knew it meant he had no way out of this. 

“i-”

“what’s up with you two?” your head turned towards kelce, the bright smile he held once left his face at the sight of your tensed muscles and hand still pressed against topper’s chest. 

“what’s going on with rafe and kiara?” kelce looked panic, eyes looking over at topper who was shaking his head quickly to say he hadn’t told you anything he was supposed to. “kelce.” 

“okay, okay-”

“kelce, no!”

“top, we can’t hide it from her forever.”

“we can if you shut up!”

“she’s clearly catching on-”

“only because you’re giving her ammo!”

“shouldn’t we tell her the truth if she thinks it’s still happening-”

“still happening? how many times has it happened?” topper let out a heavy sigh, mentally cursing kelce for saying too much. kelce always had a soft spot for you, and that proved to be a weakness in more situations than not. “someone tell me what the fuck is going on, right now, or so help me god-”

“rafe and kiara slept together, okay? they slept together when you two were going through one of your spats.” your hand fell from topper’s chest, an uneasy feeling flowing through you as you tried to process the given information. 

“it happened once when you drilled into him too far and he kind of flew off the rails a bit. he swore it was a one time thing but then they fell into a bit of a routine. it only happened a few times, but-”

“when?” your eyes flicked between the two boys, who were sharing eye contact to decide who was the one who ha to break it to you. “i don’t care who says it, someone just fucking say it!”

“right before rafe graduated.” kelce rushed out, almost out of breath from how fast the words fell off of his tongue. 

you were still friends with kiara then. you’d been dating rafe for over a year at that point, and you were finding out about all of this over a year after it all happened. 

“how long?” topper sighed heavily, hating the position he was currently in. he was friends with both of you, but rafe was his boy. he’d been sworn to secrecy for over a year now and it would’ve been fine if you weren’t so observant, and kelce wasn’t so guilt ridden. 

“a few months, i don’t know. like three, maybe four.” 

you wished the ground would swallow you whole then. you knew it wouldn’t have come to light if you didn’t dig so far, but the damage had been done. you knew now, and there was no way around that. 

everybody had been lying to you. your boyfriend, who you loved more than anything. your ex best friend, who you still cared for immensely. the two boys who had stood up for you for years. the two boys who you cared for like they had been siblings born into the wrong family. 

your eyes stung, maybe from the tears that didn’t often come to you, maybe from the pressure of holding them back. you weren’t entirely sure which caused the burn in them, but it was uncomfortably present. your head started nodding, and your hands found the fabric of your dress, lifting it enough for you to bend your knees and slip off your shoes. 

“what are you doing?” kelce started moving before you could walk away, worried he had just ruined seemingly everything with a simple conversation. a conversation he should’ve steered clear of. 

“i’m going home, kelce.” you turned around, almost running right into the last person you wanted to see. 

“you’re going home?” he spoke gently, eyes locked on your shoes in your hand before looking back up and cupping your face in his hands. “hey, what’s wrong?” 

you grabbed his wrist gently, pulling his hand away from your face and setting it back at his side. he was confused, watching you summon every ounce of self control you possessed in order to stay calm in this moment. 

“i’m going home.” you said one more time, walking around rafe and towards your car, but you felt a hand on your elbow seconds later, only a few feet away from your previous spot. 

“baby what’s going on? at least let me drive you home-”

“why don’t you drive kiara home, rafe?” rafe rolled his eyes, letting out a low groan at the name that slipped from your lips. 

“we’re back on this kie bullshit? there’s nothing going on between kiara and i-”

“there was though, wasn’t there?” rafe paused, his movements stuttering as he stared at you with an unreadable expression. “c’mon, rafe. tell me nothing happened. tell me that you didn’t cheat on me with my best friend.” 

“who told you? was it kelce? son of a bitch. i knew his soft spot for you was going to bite me in the ass-”

“the only thing that bit you in the ass was your inability to keep your dick in your pants, rafe.” you ripped your arm out of his grasp then, eyes wide and filled to the brim with tears that you refused to let surpass your waterline. 

“baby, just listen to me-”

“no, you listen, rafe. i have never loved a person in my life the way that i love you. i have never done anything to hurt you and i would never think of doing something like what you did.

“i have never spent my time thinking about a person the way that i think about you. i never asked you for anything, never asked you to promise me a single thing. i never forced anything onto you, and you couldn’t do me the decency of just staying loyal to me. i would never disrespect you like that.” 

he knew you were right. he’d been at the boneyard when tourons approached you at a kegger. he’d seen you turn every single one down before they wasted their breath on asking. he’d seen you duck and dodge every person’s efforts in any situation, just before you came back to him with an amused smile and another story to tell. 

you kept him out of trouble that way. you were honest and transparent. you could’ve easily turned them down and pocketed the experience, but you told rafe every time. you didn’t know he saw almost every time, but you did it because you were loyal. you didn’t see anybody else the way you saw rafe. you’d do anything to assure him that he was the only one you had eyes for. 

and the icing on the cake was that kiara was involved. meaning that your entire junior year that was spent juggling time between your best friend and your boyfriend, they were spending their free time with each other, behind your back. you would’ve done anything for either of them. you still would. 

“y/n, i love you-”

“i wish i believed that, rafe. i really wish i did.” you shook your head gently, looking back at the other two that were watching with guilt building within them. “i’ve been loyal to the three of you to a fault. i’ve never kept anything from either of you, and-”

you shook your head, looking up at the sky to fight the oncoming rush of tears that continued to build. you refused to wipe them before the fell, but you also refused to let them fall. topper and kelce had never seen you cry, and rafe had only see it a few times. 

“i expected better, which may be my fault. i just- for fucks sake. topper i just watched your girlfriend cheat on you and comforted you for the last hour! how in the hell is that not enough motivation to say something to me about this?” you were screaming now, but there wasn’t anybody around to hear any of you. 

“y/n, i’m sorry-”

“just, forget it. i just want to go home-”

“baby-”

“we’re done, rafe.” his shoulders dropped, along with his jaw as he stared at you in disbelief. “it’s done. whatever this was to you,” you moved your hand between the two of you, gesturing to you as a couple. “whatever the last two years was is over, rafe. we’re over.”

your voice broke, pitching up in the middle of your words. rafe felt his airways constrict as a lump formed in his throat. he felt tears burn his eyes, much like yours had been for a few minutes at this point. he saw you slip through his fingers as you started taking steps back from him, not daring to show any sign of weakness as you squared your shoulders. 

“don’t fucking follow me, any of you.” you threatened lowly, spinning on your feet and walking off before any of them had time to process everything that had just happened. 

you tried to find your car, heavily disappointed and frustrated when you remembered you’d come with kelce. you were supposed to come on your own, given that rafe was being dragged along with his family. 

the frustration was enough to let the first tear slip out of the corner of your eye, falling down your cheek at an excruciating pace. once the first slipped, it was as if the floodgates had been knocked down. 

they came faster than you could wipe them away, which led you to leaving your cheeks a stained and wet mess on your walk home. 

you tried to think of all the times you’d blindly trusted the pair, never questioning their actions or motives a single time in the past. you never questioned people you trusted. it had been one of your faulty traits, being loyal to a fault. you blindly trusted people, but it had never come back to bite you this intensely. 

you rolled your eyes when you saw the pogue’s van on the same road you had been walking down for longer than you could remember. you were sure it’d pass until it didn’t, slowing to an excruciating pace on the road beside you. 

“y/n!” you sighed heavily, fully intending on ignoring the group of kids piled into the van beside you until kie stuck her head out of the passenger side window. 

“y/n, why are you out here all aone?” you turned then, facing the van that then came to a stop, kiara’s eyes locked on your tear stained cheeks. “holy shit, y/n, what happened?” 

kiara had only seen you cry once. it was the summer before you were going into high school, and you’d fallen off of your surf board. you were frustrated, having fallen more than succeeding that afternoon. the pent up frustration tipped you over the edge you’d been teetering on for months. 

you told kiara about the problems you’d been faced with, anxious about starting high school and seemingly losing all the friends you’d had your entire life. you didn’t know what to expect, and you were scared, but you never told anybody that. 

nobody expect kiara. 

“you were my best friend, you know?” you spoke gently, watching as kiara’s face twisted in confusion. “you were my best fucking friend and i trusted you with things i’d never tell anybody else. i told you about my parents almost getting a divorce, and how i almost had to move in with my brother all the way in maine. 

“i told you about almost being put on anti depressants, and confessed every secret i ever had to you. i told you everything. i trusted you with everything. never in a million years did i ever think you would’ve gone behind my back and fuck my boyfriend.” 

kiara’s face dropped, her eyes widened while a chorus of gasps erupted from inside of the van. she moved to step out of the van, pushing the door open after struggling to unlock it and stepping in front of you on the dark and empty road. 

“y/n, you have to listen to me-”

“no, i don’t. that’s why you stopped hanging around, isn’t it? that’s why you ran to the cut, because you went behind my back and slept with my boyfriend for months-”

“y/n, it wasn’t like that, i swear.” 

“then what was it, kiara?” you screamed, your shoulders falling further than they already had while you stared at her with defeat evident in your features. 

“i fell in love with him.” you scoffed, rolling your eyes while a sarcastic laugh dripped from your lips. 

“that’s amazing, kiara. i’m so happy for you. i’m so happy you found love in the one person on the entire island that held my heart in the palm of his hand.” she sighed heavily, anger bubbling inside of her. 

“it’s not my fault i fell in love with him, y/n!”

“did you love him the first time you fucked him? is that why you slept with him, or was it only after you’d snuck around behind my back for months that you started to fall for him?” you raised your eyebrows, your patience for this conversation wearing thin. 

when she didn’t respond, you nodded. you smiled softly, despite the fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as you stepped away from the van and kiara. 

“y/n, wait-”

“get back in the van and never fucking speak to me, ever again, kiara. i don’t want anything to do with you for the rest of my life.” 

kiara felt her heart shatter in her chest. watching you walk away with every ounce of the truth hurt more than the day she’d walked away, shielding you from this heartbreak. 

she knew it was wrong the first time she slept with rafe. she’d been vulnerable, and seeing rafe vulnerable somehow helped. she didn’t love rafe then, but it didn’t take long for her to fall into it with him. their time together had been brief, but it was something kiara would never forget. 

falling in love with her best friend’s boyfriend was never something she intended on doing. she told rafe it was wrong and that they could never be together again after the first night, but she had trouble following her own rules. she’d been heartbroken when rafe broke things off for good. he didn’t want to hurt you anymore than he already had, and kiara had to respect that. 

that had been the leading factor in kiara’s hatred for the kooks. she knew kelce and topper knew. she knew rafe would never tell you, and you’d get to live the perfect life by his side. she hated rafe for stealing her heart and crushing it in front of her eyes. she hated you for living the life she wanted more than she’d care to admit. 

she hated herself for hurting you, even if you didn’t know. she’d covered it up with the story of sarah’s party that night. though that wasn’t a lie, it was dull compared to her betrayal towards you. sarah was never her best friend, you were. you just, unfortunately, loved the same boy. 

you both were in love with rafe cameron, and he chose you. 

but none of that mattered to you as you walked home, tears in your eyes and on your cheeks. you had lost everything in one night, and you didn’t know how to process it. 

one thing you knew for sure is that you couldn’t wait to move off of this island. 

[ignorant-huckleberry-blog]

huck finns, rated

E.W. Kemble illustration: the original huck. detailed artwork and really the classic image of huck finn. however if you look too closely at his face he sort of looks like he came straight from the mouth of hell... literally even mark twain complained to his publisher that it was “an ugly, ill-drawn face” and said that “Huck Finn is an exceedingly good-hearted boy [who] should carry a good and good-looking face.” yeah. he said that. 6/10

Elijah Wood: mmmMHHMMMM DID SOMEONE SAY GOOD AND GOOD-LOOKING FACE???? oh my GOSH what a PRECIOUS ANGEL, my heart is melting, look at the way his perfect baby skin glows in the light, his big blue eyes, his soft feathery chestnut hair, I LOVE?? HIM??? i’m so down for tiny frodo huck finn; he is vaguely reminiscent of a baby deer and so so pure and blessed (but maybe a little too pure and blessed, he looks...rly clean for a homeless kid) 8/10

Brad Renfro: 90′s huck. so unforgiveably 90′s. look at his face. you can almost hear him saying “chaa dude.” he looks like he belongs in bill and ted’s excellent adventure, not in nineteenth-century missouri... but one time someone called him “blueberry” by accident and i guess that was funny. he is one of the dreaded “hot, rebellious, brooding teenage hucks.” however, he is not the worst. that is still yet to come. 4/10

Tom Sawyer no Bouken Huck: awww! what a cute!!! he’s kinda slow and awkward but in a good way and it’s real precious. because he’s an anime he does weird stuff when he’s excited. like. bite things that aren’t food. i won’t try to explain just watch the show sometime. ALSO, one time he almost took a pee in front of the girl he liked, but depending on which dub you watch you might be saved the embarrassment 7/10

Huckleberry no Bouken Huck: the distant cousin of tsnb huck. and leT ME TELL YOU, he is GOOD, he is SWEET, he is PURE, nggggggnhhh and i think i know why. tom sawyer literally does not exist in this specific adaptation and therefore has not been able to wield his corrupting influence. just kidding. no. but. this huck has an animal sidekick so he’s basically a disney princess. his character is fleshed out SO WELL, his relationship with jim, and also his backstory with his father?? only problem is a low animation budget, so sometimes he looks derpy, but overall he is a Good Huck™ 9/10

Jake T. Austin (in case you couldn’t read the giant frickin credit oh my gosh tone down the ego): yeah remember when i said the worst was to come?? this. is it. hOOOOOO BOY when you look at this angsty teen the emo levels are OFF THE CHARTS. look at his bad boy rebel pose. look at his busted up hat that vaguely makes him look like a pirate. for heaven’s sakes even his pipe is extremely frickin extra, what even is that thing? says poetic crap like “the river is my mother” and is probably perpetually stoned. is this the kid who traded an insect for tom sawyer’s baby tooth?? that’s not huck, that’s just the overdramatic moody loner kid at your high school 2/10

Jeff East: look how cute and precious this boy is!! unlike several of the other hucks, he looks adequately dirty. he also has this really awesome cabin all to himself by the side of the river where he lets muff potter and tom sawyer come over to sing songs. he looks the right age, unlike the teenage emo hucks. yet, he isn’t TOO pure like elijah wood is, and he strikes a good balance between being too much of a good boy or too much of a bad boy. however, he crosses the line of puberty in the sequel and becomes a little awkward and can’t sing very well...but...never mind that, he is a very good huck 8.5/10

Leon Seidel: cute!! precious!! a little ball of sunshine!! he’s just...aaaaa i wanna hug him!! he looks the right age and is also dirty-looking enough to be believable. watches cows roam over the fields and just wants to live a simple life. he will make you sad sometimes, but not in an emo way, so it’s okay. i’m loving the blue color scheme, it really ties him in to his connections with the river also 8.5/10

furry huck: BLOCKED, DELETED, AND REPORTED. holy CRAP what a cursed sight to my poor virgin eyes. NOT?? HUCK??? AT ALL???? this is a TALKING FOX, a talking FOX, voiced by a 30-year-old country singer. it’s just...all so wrong. he ends up with amy lawrence at the end of the movie what the frick??? worst thing i’ve ever seen. let’s just forget all about this monstrosity and pretend it never existed. -99999999/10

[anpluson-blog]

191 question cause why not

1. 191 questions…promise you won’t lie? Depends on what you ask

2. Was the person you last texted single? almost certainly yes

3. Do you get jealous easily? 

not really, of course i wish i could draw like _insert_ and make music like _insert_, but I’m happy as is per say.

4. Are you wasting your time on the person you like? 

on a looser meaning of “like”, yes, i have friends. I don’t have a crush though 

5. What are you currently waiting for? 

For someone to make my heart burn hot enough that i ask a question too many

6. Do you think more about the past, present, or future? 

Depends, but the past is only really useful for information, so usually present+future

7. Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? 

rn i’m ok with being alone

8. Honestly, did you really love the last person you said I love you too? 

My bestie - yes, no homo

9. Is anything wrong with your eyes? -4.0 ish prescription. I wear glasses almost literally everywhere

10. Who were the last people you saw besides family? 

2 ppl that knocked on the door to talk about a governor?

11. Do you have nice eyes? 

IMO yes

12. Have you ever received a love letter more than a page long? thus far single and wanting

13. If something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to? Bestie’s gf

13. Who’s thinking about you right now? Parents, possibly my 3-membered center group of friends, maybe my cat?

14. Is this year the best year of your life? 

Other than a certain blond-haired powerful shithead, yes

15. Which of your friends lives closest to you? 

I don’t geography

16. How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper? Ppl with sugar problems can taste my fav drink - i don’t care

17. Do you ever work out? Nope, i remain in not-shitty state even by being a couch potato

18. How old will you be in 17 months? 

Not saying for privacy

19. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn’t? 

I think no

20. Does your bedroom need cleaning? ...yes... but i honestly don’t care too much, i do my everything in other parts of the universe

21. July 4th or St. Patrick’s Day? Independence Day, fireworks are nice

22. Sushi of choice? Philadelphia, cream cheese in sushi is AWESOME 

23. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Really slow, but i’ll take it as it comes. If needed, I’ll happily dive deep for her.

24. Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? Yeah, bestie’s gf lolp

25. Are you comfortable with your height? Yep.

26. Do you act differently around the person you like? I act pretty much the same around everyone, currently don’t have a crush. I will also say that i prefer to be real in front of people

27. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I hope

28. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? I never have tons of stress, so not rly needed. I can smile on my own.

29. Do you like thunderstorms? i don’t care as long as I’m inside or near minorly tall buildings

30. Do you think teenagers can be in love? I have an example day-to-day

31. How fast does your mood change? Depends

32. Are there things that can’t be joked about with you? It largely matters who’s the speaker, but some jokes may give me a bad vibe about someone

33. What do you always take with you? Fanny pack.

34. When is your birthday? read #18

35. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? Can’t say, it’s common to sleep in a class and in cars so...

36. Anything on your walls? A few Pokemon from back when i was a little obsessed with them. My room hasn’t been repainted since i was a baby, and I don’t care

37. Is there something that you want to tell someone but can’t? 

... i think no actually...

38. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more? 

Haven’t had the chance to find out

39. Do you crack your knuckles? Yep. *crackle x2*

41. Would you ever swim with sharks? You missed 40 for a shitty question like this? (assuming things, I will)

42. Does anyone know your passwords besides you? yes, my parents, but that’s because I can’t be bothered to check my own email. If i did then i can easily change it and not tell them

43. What would you do if you found out the person you liked had a girlfriend? Won’t judge, move on. Same if they already have a boyfriend, unless he’s a jerk

44. What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? Tea

45. I bet you miss somebody right now… not particularly

46. Do you have a box where you keep all your important things? My house.

47. How many times have you dyed your hair? 0, might eventually but unlikely

48. If you promised a friend you wouldn’t tell their secret, would you lie to a closer friend to preserve that secret? (think about it) Depends on factors, but my close friends should know when to pry and when to not

49. Would you ever date anyone your friends disapproved of? Sure, but also kinda dependant on *factors*

50. Who introduced you to your boyfriend or girlfriend? nope

51. If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? 

Dependant, but likely though barely

52. Are you afraid of shots? 

gun shots - if they’re near me, yeah vaccine shots - kinda

53. Is there someone you can tell anything to? Bestie.

54. Do you lead people on ever? idk?

55. At this moment in time if you HAD to have someone’s name tattooed on you who’s would it be? My own.

56. What is your preferred way of killing bugs that get inside? Usually I just prefer to let them outside, but if I have to… with a paper of some kind or electric fly swatter

57. Has anyone called you perfect before? i think no?

58. Do your best friends’ parents tend to like you? Apparently not particularly

59. Are you a sensitive/emotional person? Depends on speaker, but I tank

60. TV channels you watch? Let’s change that you YouTube - various D&D channels, a few airsofts, The Modern Rogue

61. Are any of your friends taller than you? yep. I don’t care

62. Do you prefer the ocean or pool? Meh

63. What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to? Currently not listening to anything, but lyrics of a fave song “Darken the halls with everything we own/So she’ll never have to feel alone”. Dark :3

64. Ever really cried your heart out? ...no...? Though kinda. Edgecase-ish

65. Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009? Dear god am I happy that I’m not.

66. Do you get good grades? Decent

67. Is there a difference between love and IN love? Context is required to understand the love mentioned. I love my bestie, but I love him as a friend, not romantically

68. Have you ever been on a motorcycle? Want to try, nope

69. Does it bother you when someone says they will call you and they don’t? change call to contact - kinda, dependent on factors

70. What is the main ringtone on your cell? Default android. lolp

71. Do you speak any other language other than English? Russian

73. Could you name all 50 states and point to them on a map? Kinda scratchy, I’ll point out a sure few but will fudge others

74. Are you someone’s best friend? Yes. 

75. Where was the last place you were you threw up? idk, i honestly forget

76. Have you ever smuggled something into America? forget

77. Can you say the alphabet backwards? With large difficulty, for many letters i’ll have to think a large amount of the alphabet in order

78. Do you prefer the cold or the hot? Warm. Air - cool, i can grab a jacket, bath - steam

79. Ever had an 11:11 wish come true? i forget lolp

80. Do you get bad headaches? not really. Glad it didn’t pass down from my mom

81. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I think no? I hope no as well

82. What’s usually colder, your hands or your feet? feet.

83. Do you like competition? Yeah, but it’s only enjoyable when the stakes are not based on someone elses’ well-being.

84. Do you consider yourself lucky? almost too lucky.

85. Is there someone that cares about you more than themselves? My parents do, else no?

86. Who was the ugliest person you saw today? Null, i don’t judge looks much

87. What was the last piece of media that made you cry or tear up? (song, video, movie etc.) A comic by my fave artist

88. Is the world crumbling to pieces? The world is horrible. The world is amazing. There is no fence.

89. How many states in the U.S. have you been to? The drive between NJ to FL, NY, CL, Hawaii, Alaska

90. Where did you grow up? 

NJ

91. Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal? i think normal, i don’t handwrite much

92. Your phone rings, what do you say? "Heylo?”

93. Has anyone every said they wanted to marry you? 

nope

94. Have you ever been a gymnast or a cheerleader? 

nope

95. Is your birthday on a holiday? http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/index.htm

96. Do you ever cry during romantic movies? Haven’t watched

97. Do you always answer your phone? Situational

98. Who was the last person you had a sleepover with? bestie?

99. Are you ticklish? Kinda

100. Is there someone you wish you were still close with? Haven’t been in relationship

101. Are you wearing a sports shirt? nope

102. How much longer until your birthday? Time.

103. How was your day today? Simple

104. What was the last new movie you watched? Deadpool? Deadpool.

105. When is the last time you danced? HS prom...?

107. Where were you at 8 am this morning? *zzz*

108. Any cool scars? Anomalies inside. Not really scars.I should mention my eyes are immune to fire damage.

109. Do you dream in black and white or color? Color

110. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? some light

111. Are you tired? not rly

113. Last thing you did before bed last night? You missed 112…you’re not really good at this numbering thing, are you? I watched a few YouTubes

114. Do you text or call more? Which do you prefer? Text

115. Favorite thing to shop for? Games.

116. Do you wear your seat belt in the car? Yes. As I say, if it takes negligible effort and can save your life, do it. Related note, I can ride a bike with a helmet a LOT more than without

118. Where do you see yourself in 2 years? Keeping anon, this may reveal

119. Anything you want to tell someone? A soulmate about myself, if i can meta the game that we live. Else, there are private things

120. Do you prefer to read short or long messages? What about writing? Depends. I’m generally about practicality though.

121. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend[s]? I would prefer not to

122. How many children do you want? 1 or 2

123. Last thing you ate? Oatmeal

124. Are you a serious person or sarcastic person? Dependent, I’m good situationally.

125. What are your plans for the week? Keeping anon

126. What is bothering you right now? White house, but I’m being passive

127. Did you cry today? nope

128. Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now? I’m enough happy here.

129. Do you have any famous ancestors? Likely, but of no importance nowadays

130. Who is your celebrity crush? Nope. Actually though, nope

131. Do you enjoy late night phone conversations? Yes

132. Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you? Nope

134. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot? Yep :3

135. What were you doing at 10 am? probably breakfast

136. Do you and your siblings fight over the computer? no siblings. A curse honestly

137. Are you allowed to stay up later than 10pm on a weeknight? *laughs at question*

138. If a coworker who wasn’t close to you were to thank you with a gift, what would you want it to be? Idk, very dependent

139. Do you miss the way things used to be? Obama was a nice occupant of the white house

140. Do you care what people think about you? Humans are social creatures, we all do. But I wear a fanny pack, so think about that for a moment

141. How did you sleep last night? well

142. Do you have any siblings? nope

143. Are you a closet pervert? Define.

144. Last time you saw your biological mother? 30 min ago?

145.Are you getting engaged any time soon? Nope

146. Credit cards or cash? Credit cards.

147. Do you trust people easily? Dependent

148. What did you wear today? Tee, fleece pants

149. What’s something you really want right now, be honest? Someone to cuddle with. I want love.

150. Are you going anywhere for this summer?

idk

151. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? side

152. Has anyone ever given you roses? nope

153. If somebody liked you, would you want them to tell you? Blunt? or puzzle? Welcome to the curiosity of who the hell will hug me through my heart and back first

154. Someone calls you at 3:00 AM; who do you expect it to be? idk

155. Do you eat whip cream out of the can? nope

156. Is there someone you will never forget? Yep

157. Have you ever received a really long apology? Kinda, but I understand sh*t happens more than the rest of the world

158. Can you make brownies without looking at the instructions? nope

159. Is there someone you wish you were still close with? Nobody specifically

160. Something you do a lot? Couch potato :3

161. Do you have tan lines? Nope

162. Have you ever had a garage/yard sale? nope

163. What color is your iPod? Screw ipod shuffle, defualt gray

165. What is the last drink you drank? tea

166. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? no sibs

167. What are you anxious about in the upcoming future? life

168. What DVD is in your DVD player? probably none

169. What do you think of when you hear the word “meow”? My cat

170. What are you listening to right now? Soundcloud is currently giving me an undertale song

171. Who are you according to the Myers-Briggs test? INTP-A, though largely on the line in multiple categories

172. What is something you need to go shopping for? not much

173. Do you like mushrooms? nope

174. What is your favorite kind of gum? Meh

175. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes.

176. Whats one way to win your heart? Catch my curiosity. Don’t judge the things that you shouldn’t judge. Be smart enough to play with my ideas and to add your own

177. How tall are you? Avg. I honestly forget

178. Where is the furthest place you’ve traveled in a car? Plane? NJ->florida in car, nj->russia in plane probs

179. Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? I eat when I’m hungry. I sleep when I’m tired. No preference. 

180. Do you look more like your mom or your dad? Visually mother

181. How long does it take you to shower? Wide range

182. Can you do splits? Nope

183. Can you use the grill? Not rly

184. What movie do you want to see? Lego Ninjago; I liked The Lego Movie

185. Was your mom a cheerleader? nope

186. What is the last letter of your middle name? r

187. Do you have any tattoos? Nope, thinking of getting?

188. Have you ever been to Los Angeles? Yes

189. What jewlery do you wear all the time? N/A

190. What is your favorite song at the moment? Favorite video game? I’ll say i love SharaX as a music maker, VGame is subjective

191. Are you easy to get along with? If your morals don’t involve choking someone who did nothing to hurt anyone, yes.