#almost a year later after this show came out and I’m STILL finding details I haven’t seen before

[rexlottie]

🚨OFFICAL STEVEN APARTMENT LAYOUT🚨

206 page pdf with set photos, concept art and episode stills from moon knight, absolutely gorgeous stuff!!!!! The cairo set is CRAZY

[taybatwo2]

G3 Hissfits Review Part 1

Guess what came in today??? My Hissfits three pack!

The box is large, 22”x12” and was 75 bucks…which is a lot (25 for each doll) and Entertainment Earth wanted another 20 for shipping (so I might have preordered a cute little 3.75” Clone Trooper Rex figure to get free shipping).

These dolls had their stock photos dropped a bit over a year ago and I guess were just sitting in a warehouse while Mattel figured out what to do with them????? I dunno why they took so long to come out, but I’m glad they were not all canceled and disposed of.

It has some little Skullettes detailed around the outside of the box.

Here is the corner illustration done by Darko.

The back of the box. That’s a huge illustration and looks really cool. It has some of their accessories hidden about and Amped Up Frankie’s accessories in the far left-hand book shelf. Perhaps they’re all playing for the Monster Ball?

Here is the UPC for anyone who needs it. These are supposed to be available on misc. sellers/shops: like Entertainment Earth and Big Lots and NOT Amazon, Walmart, Target or even Mattel Creations. Which seems like an odd choice (I wonder what their reasoning was behind it?).

Here is a close up of their blurb on the back of the box. I do find it funny that Toralei was known to be REALLY bad at singing in G1 and G3 just RAN the other way with that.

Here are the ghoul’s with the plastic removed. There was A TON of rubber bands holding them all in. They look good in the package, but there is so much plastic waste.

more under the cut

Close-up of G3 Meowlody’s face while still strapped down. Meowlody has white hair (I remember who is who by: turning her name’s first letter “m” upside down and it looks like a “w” for “white hair”).

Mine has her eyes slightly printed up too high, some white paint dropped across her right eye, and her left cheek stripes have some paint missing (you can’t tell from his photo).

She has the biggest grin out of the werecat twins and Toralei. Her heterochromia is opposite of her twin and she has purple leopard print eyeshadow. Her hair feels like saran.

My Toralei looks pretty good, but has a small lip smudge on her upper lip. I love her eyeshadow!!! Even her bright pink lips have grown on me. Her leopard rosettes are a mix of purple (Meowlody) and pink (Purrsephone).

She has almost-neon orange hair (with black, baby pink, and purple streaks). I’m pretty sure it is all saran.

And my FAVORITE, Purrsephone (turn her name’s first letter “p” upside down and it looks like a “b” for “black hair” and that’s how I remember this is Purrsephone). I like her sculpted eyelids, her full upper lips, her hair color blend *mwah!* Mine does have a spot of red paint on the bottom of her cat nose. She has pink leopard spots on the opposite side of her face as her sister.

I’m also certain she has saran hair.

They come with a ton of little accessories “to help them get ready for the show.” Even merch to sell after the show too!!

After spending about 30 minutes freeing everything from their prison and running a metal comb through their hair (they will need to be washed with water, Dawn dish soap, and some conditioner…maybe (carefully) straight iron their hair later).

I forgot to take a full body photo of Toralei before I started removing pieces. Whoops!

Here is her crown piece. It wraps around both ears and should still hold its place fairly well even after I removed the plastic stays and rubberband (it was really wrapped around it) holding it in.

Here she is without her golden crown. I might like it better off.

Her eye make-up is her two cousins’ mixed together. Oh, by the way G3 Purrsephone and Meowlody are G3 Toralei’s cousins, not just her beasties.

The leopard print reminds me of SDCC DC Super Hero Girl’s Cheetah.

Her tail tambourine (I love how clever they were in its paw-like design) also stays on her tail pretty well.

Here are her plastic dress pieces. They have some nice details to them (lots of studs, chains, and the Hissfits cat head logo) and as always, could look even more elevated with some paint. Be warned that the gold chest piece instantly wants to keep detaching itself from the skirt and shoulder pieces after you remove the rubber bands.

I LOVE her gloves (look at the little printed seams and how they make it look like there are seperate holes for her fingers). My Core G3 Toralei will be stealing them. Mine even come off by sliding over the hands (you do not necessarily need to remove the whole hand to get them off).

Here are her MASSIVE boots. They are slit all the way down the back and have some colored in details. I’m not sure if I like purple AND pink AND red being Toralei’s new colors, but these shoes look great.

Here are the bottoms (chains on the ball of the feet and a cat scratching post making the heel).

A better look at her saran hair blend. It’s really growing on me. I was just going to clean her up, steal her stock and resell the base doll. But I am heavily rethinking it.

Here she is in her outfit sans all the plastic bits. It is all attached. The main shirt/shorts have a sparkly foil look to them and her skirt has a lovely gold to magenta foil print.

And the back. Now let’s jump ahead to look at some differences between the werecat’s bodies.

Toralei has the exact same body mold as G3 Clawdeen, and the werecat twins have the same body as G3 Cleo (sans the bandages).

They didn’t give the werecat twins sharp toe claws like Toralei and Clawdeen. :( Booo!

Their ears look a bit different too (Toralei has notches in the bottom of her ears and Purrsephone/Meowlody don’t).

And for funsies. Here are all the G3 werecats’ body types for comparison (I’m still in the middle of micro-braiding my Catty’s hair, so ignore her bad hair day).

In part 2 I’ll delve more into the werecat twins.

[abybweisse]

Hi there! I recently finished reading the Black Butler manga for the first time and I’m completely blown away!!! One thing I’m curious about and would like to know from a long-time manga reader: When did people start to seriously theorize that Ciel had a brother? I binge read the manga in less than a week and all of the foreshadowing/clues went completely over my head, so I would love to find out what made people start to get suspicious and what kind of theories started to pour in! 👀

Wow, that's a lot of reading in less than a week! I would have missed a bunch of little details, too, if I had tried that! 😯

When did 2CT start?

Well, I didn't join the fandom until sometime in 2015, and some people were already talking about various hints that there was probably a twin brother. @kurotwins and @akumadeenglish who are both not active here anymore (at least not on those blogs) we're talking about it, as well as some others I'm not as sure about. Apparently, the Japanese chunk of the fandom didn't really debate there being a twin; it was sort of accepted very early-on. It might be a matter of translation issues, like "sons" translated to "son", etc.

Anyway, I recall reading a bunch of their posts, and then I started paying more attention to a scene in ch1. Chlaus shows up with the packaging for a game called "Mouse3" by "Ninkyodo". Well, that's a parody of Mother3 by Nintendo, which was released in Japan on April 20, 2006. Unlike the previous two versions of the game, Mother3 never got localized as part of the EarthBound series. Which is why Chlaus tells our earl the "game" was so difficult to find in Italy. Of course, that packaging contains the drug evidence that our earl needed to show Scotland Yard. To put Azzurro Vanel (and potentially the Ferro family) away.

The irises are used in both Victorian flower language and Japanese flower language to mean a few different things, but one meaning they share in common is something along the lines of "I have a message for you." Well, that message is the game packaging shown on the very next page.

Mother3 is about mirror twin boys who deal with tragedy soon after their birthday (9th or 10th). Their mother is killed by a monster, and their father is so distraught about her death that he goes into a rage and end up in jail for a while. Soon after the dad gets out of (escapes from) jail, he finds out the older mirror twin had gone off by himself to kill the monster, but now he has gone missing. Everyone is searching, but no body has been found. However, the player of the game can see Claus' broken body at the bottom of a cliff. It's understood that he's dead. The main characters still don't know, though. Not for another three, almost four, years. After losing his wife and being unable to find his older son, the father becomes kind of useless. Notice that the guy in Kuroshitsuji is Chlaus, and the older twin in Mother3 is Claus.

Three years later, Lucas (younger mirror twin) is about 13 years old, and he sets off on his own quest for revenge, along with the loyal family dog, Boney. The rest of the game takes place during this one year, then it ends just before his next birthday. The last thing Lucas has to do before he can "win" is defeat his own older twin brother, who had died, been turned into a Fascinating Chimera, and had been pitted against him.

So, I started coming up with my Mother3 theory for Kuroshitsuji back in December 2015. Back then, I was already theorizing that not only is there a twin brother, but he's a mirror twin. The missing twin is older, dead, reanimated, and will pop up again as an adversary.

Soooo, idk how long some version or other of 2CT has been around, but a very specific version of it came to me (and became very serious to me) in December 2015. And it's canon now: mirror twin brothers; one lives while the other dies; the dead one is reanimated; they end up having to confront each other.

Even Sebastian gets to parallel the roles of both the loyal family dog, Boney (under contract) and the Dark Dragon who must be given your "heart" to follow your will (as the demon who demands a soul as payment).

That's why I'm so into my Mother3 theory, which started out kind of small and grew and grew... because the similarities don't stop there. Not even close. Numerous characters and plot lines have strong parallels to Mother3 characters and plot lines, while a few are better paralleled in Mother and Mother2. The timelines are essentially the same between Kuroshitsuji and Mother3, too.

Maybe check out my "Why I theorize" post and my "Masterpost 1" for more on that, to get more into it. There are several masterposts and addendums, plus a few more masterposts on the way... eventually. When I first started posting about it, I didn't expect it to be such a big finding, but here I am, still talking about it! 😆

[count-alucard-tepes]

Our favorite phoenix, Marco🦅 wins the poll!

🌶️Headcanons🌶️

He dates all ages and all races, if he finds you interesting, he’s gonna be all over you and he’s so smooth about it too.

He loves his partner to be in charge in their relationship and in the bedroom. It’s a turn on.

He likes tall (OP standards) and thicc partners, men or women, big boobs, thicc thighs and big ass…you’ve caught Marco’s attention.

The drapes do not match the carpet😆😉

Marco is never single…he’s always got someone on his mind, on his D or something. He’s just not the type of guy who is single single if you know what I mean.

Fanfiction for our cutie Marco🦅

A note was left on Marco’s quarters door that he would be out for a few hours but he didn’t give too much details as he was off to get his hair done. His grey hairs were finally showing and well he need to get a hair cut too.

He got to barbershop the Whitebeard pirates frequented and greeted everyone as he walked in with a big smile.

“…the usual then, Marco?”, the owner asked with a smile.

“Yes…my age is finally starting to show”, he said teasingly.

“…you still look like the young man who walked through my doors 20 years ago…take a seat and I’ll get you a hot towel”, he said gently before disappearing in the back.

Marco took a seat and relaxed for a bit before the barber came in and wrapped a hot towel on his face, “…I got one of my best to take care of you today…try not to burn them”, the barber said playfully.

Marco chuckled in response, “…I’ll try not to”.

His face with still covered with the towel when someone else would come and draped a cape over him.

“…okay, so I’ll be doing your hair today, I’m Y/N by the way”, they said as they ran their fingers through his hair slowly.

“…that’s a beautiful name, I’m in your care”, he replied as he enjoyed the feeling of their fingers running through his hair, it made him relax even more.

Y/N smiled a little as they looked down at the man with his face wrapped in a hot towel, “…so just the roots and a haircut?”, they asked gently.

“Yes and a shave later on…”, he replied.

“…got it…I’ll be right back”, Y/N said as they went to get some product and their tools.

Marco waited patiently before he would feel them start trimming his hair and shaving it to his usual style.

The towel was then removed and it took some time for his eyes to adjust before he slipped on his glasses just so he could see Y/N. His jaw dropped a little as he looked at their reflection in the mirror in front of him.

“…is the length okay or do we want to go shorter?”, they asked as they ran their fingers through his hair again just to show him and make sure he was satisfied.

“Y-yes…it’s perfect”, he said as he gulped a little.

Y/N smiled and nodded, “…I’ll start with your color then”.

During the entire process, he couldn’t take his eyes off Y/N. They really peaked his interest.

“So, Y/N…you’ve been doing hair for a while then?”, he asked out of curiosity.

“…not really but it’s something I’m good at so I thought starting a career in it wouldn’t be a bad idea”, Y/N replied gently with a smile.

“Yes, you’re very good if you get to work here…the owner has quite the interesting clientele…”, Marco said with a weak smile.

“…a very interesting clientele”, Y/N replied with a smirk.

He chuckled in response, “…are you from this island?”.

“Born and raised…”, Y/N replied gently as they began his close shave.

“…hmm…you must know where to get the best meals then”, he murmured, trying to be as still as possible so that they didn’t cut him by accident.

“I do…it’s not too far from here too”, they said gently, “….maybe after I’m done with your hair, I could take you there…it’s almost my lunch break anyway”.

“Oh yeah? That sounds fun…”, he said with a smile as he internally grinned even more.

Once his hair was all done, he thanked Y/N and paid the owner before waiting out for them so that they could go for lunch together.

Y/N came out in no time and walked with him to local restaurant that apparently had the best food. They ordered their meals and some drinks.

“…so I’ve heard you’re from the Whitebeard pirates…is he really as cool as everyone around here says he is?”, Y/N asked as they sipped their drink.

“Oyaji? Yeah, he’s amazing! You should meet him sometime…he comes here every now and then”, Marco said with a big smile, clearly very fond of his father-figure and captain.

“…I’ve always been a little nervous…don’t want to be too bold or rude with someone like that”, they admitted.

“…he likes bold people, so just be yourself and tell him you’ll do his hair for free”, he said teasingly.

Y/N blushed at that and then laughed at the realization of what he just said, “…and you’re certain I wouldn’t get killed for saying that?! You’re the worst”.

Marco chuckled in response, “…alright, let’s not say that then…I might have to save you if you do”.

Y/N smiled a little in response, “…you might just have to…”.

He looked into their eyes and leaned in a little more, “…hey, are you free next weekend? We’ll be visiting the island…and I’d like to see you again”.

He needed to shoot his shot before he lost his opportunity!

“Yeah, we could go dancing…I hope you’re light on your feet”, Y/N said with a smile.

“…you have no idea…it’s a date then”, he said with a smile.

((I live for Marco fanfics!😍))

[reversemoon255]

MGEX ZGMF-X20A Strike Freedom Gundam

So I started working on this guy at the end of November. I didn’t finish it until December 31st. I ended up doing a daily art challenge over on the bird, and that ended up taking up almost all my free time considering my work hours double during December. However, I’m glad I finished it before the year rolled over.

The Good: This was a fantastic build. The interior frame was a ton of fun to build, there are a bunch of small mechanisms, interesting parts layering; just a stellar experience all around.

To aid in the build process, it actually came with a small, cardboard “Multi Stand” to hold your in-use sprews. I ended up using it for all the plated and painted sprews.

Speaking of the painted and plated, the number of interesting materials was very cool, and something you don’t get to see if you stick to just HG or standard MG builds. The stickers were metallic foil, there were raised metal stickers as well, there were a full four sprews that were either fully painted or chrome plated in gold. It was honestly one of the things that drew me to this kit.

The layout of the runners was also very well done. With a few small exceptions, almost every part was either undergated or gated into a place that would be covered later by other parts. I had to quickly become very adept at shaving parts with a knife rather than a file.

I was a little bummed that I had to cover up all that gold with armor, and found myself wishing the armor parts were clear so I could see it all better, but after it was finished I was impressed by just how much gold showed through. While I still think I’d prefer clear armor, I’m not upset with what we got. Oh, and it comes with a tiny Lacus and Kira. I don’t care, but maybe you will.

The Bad: I only really have three issues with this kit. The first is the bits: the bits are not designed to be displayed. They have no way of accepting any type of stand adapter to hold them up, and the kit itself has no added display piece for them.

Second is the articulate hands. They’re actually very well articulated (I managed to get a very good snapping pose out of them), but the fingers pop off all the time. All the time. It’s a bummer, since they’re required to use the Beam Sabers.

Lastly are the metallic raised stickers. They just don’t stick well, and if you flex them at all they may stick worse. You also don’t really need most of them, since the armor covers a lot of them up. You just need the chest ones, which get held in place by the vents, and about 3 on each knee. I didn’t end up needing to add glue, but you might.

The Details: Because of how this kit is meant to be built, I only added panel lining. I specifically avoided lining the gold plastic because I’ve had issues with gold plastic degrading over time when ink is added. I did add it to a few tiny “hole” spots, like the head vulcans, but that’s it. I did use all the included standard stickers, though didn’t use the decal stickers they included. I find they can make a kit look too cluttered or marred, and they tend to peel or fall off more easily than normal stickers. I’ve found I prefer building kits without them unless there’s a standout interesting design.

Overall, even though it took me forever to build (which it shouldn’t have), it was probably the coolest build I did in 2022, and a great way to cap it off. It is a very expensive kit, but I do think it’s worth it if you can swing it. It’s an amazing build, a fantastic final product, and is meant to be straight built if that concerns you.

BTW, Fun Fact, I’ve brought up that I play Gundam Breakers Mobile a few times. Strike Freedom is the most common non-custom build to run into. Like, you’re more likely to run into one than a painted custom. Guess it’s popular.

[alinaandalion]

👀

from a partially finished leverage: redemption fic in harry's pov where both maggie and tara show up.

He finds Sophie sitting at the bar much later that night when he ventures downstairs to make some tea.  He uses the guest room less now that Becky is mostly living with him, but he’s found that he prefers staying at the team’s headquarters when she’s with her mom.  He’s sure the others have figured out why he stays when he does but no one has brought it up.  She turns on her stool to face him when he hits the bottom of the stairs, and he hesitates until she smiles and nods her head to the stool beside her.  He shuffles over to her, tightening his robe, then settles on the second stool to her right in order to leave some space between them.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he ventures first, lacing his fingers together on top of the bar to keep from drumming them against the wood.

Sophie shrugs and glances down at the glass in front of her as she says, “Just thinking.  What about you?”

“Not really.  Thought some chamomile tea would help.”  He watches as she takes a small sip of bourbon, the blue hoodie jacket she wears sometimes slipping off her right shoulder and revealing bare skin that is momentarily distracting until he drags his eyes away and refocuses.  He clears his throat and says, “I am sorry about earlier today.  I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.”

She snorts, and he looks up at her, startled, sees her eyes shining with amusement as she says, “Of course you weren’t.  And I’m not angry about it.  It’s been so many years that it had almost slipped my mind.”

“Which is why it so easily slipped out,” he replies without thinking, and he would try to take it back except she laughs softly in response.

“Fair enough,” she murmurs, lifting her glass in a mocking toast before taking another sip and setting it back on the bar.  “Regardless, I’m not embarrassed about any of my past relationships.  I just don’t always share all the details.”

He nods and leans over the bar to grab his own glass, pours a small splash of bourbon.  It might not be the tea he came down for but he supposes it counts as a proper nightcap.  

He drinks some before asking, “This might be too personal, but it wasn’t…weird to, well, have a fling with her?”

Sophie leans her head on her left hand, her lips quirking into a small smile as she says, “Not particularly.  Why would it be?”

“Well, because she and Nate…and then you and Nate,” he splutters, a flush creeping up his neck as she keeps staring at him.  

She finally rescues him.  “Nate and I weren’t anything at the time, Harry.”  When his brow furrows with his confusion, she shakes her head and says, “I forget that we don’t really talk about our past as a team in a way that makes much sense.”

“Want to help me out here, then?” he asks before knocking back the rest of his bourbon.

“It’s too late to get into all of it, but the important part is that we ran a disastrous job on IYS and briefly split up, came back and completed the job with some assistance from Maggie, but the damage was done.  So we went our separate ways.  My brief time with Maggie was after all of that.”  Sophie is still looking at him, but her eyes have gone shadowed and distant.

He thinks he has room to ask one more question, so he does.  “Damage?”

Sophie sits up straight, her gaze drifting down to the bar as she says quietly, “Mine, actually.  I deceived them for good and bad reasons.”

This new piece doesn’t fit with what he knows of her, what he sees with the team, their unshakeable faith in Sophie.  It’s not the first time he’s been faced with the fact that Sophie used to be a different person, but it’s disorienting still to be reminded that she has a past he knows very little about.

“They trust you now,” he ventures, and Sophie smiles in response.

“I know they do,” she murmurs.  Then she shakes her head and says, “I think you’ll be less confused about why I was interested in Maggie once you meet her.  She’s an amazing woman.”

He just nods his head and waits for Sophie to finish her drink before sliding off his stool and offering his arm to her.  She smiles when she wraps her left hand around his elbow and lets him lead her up the stairs to her room where she gives him a quiet good night before disappearing inside and he’s left to go back to the guest room on his own.

find the ask post here.  

[canmom]

Animation Night 134: Rintaro’s OVAs

Hi everyone! Welcome back to Animation Night.

Tonight we’re coming back to Rintaro, or りんたろう (or Shigeyuki Hayashi, but the pseudonym is near universal). This time I even found a picture of him!

Rintaro one of the oldest of the anime old school to still be alive. He joined the anime industry as an inbetweener on Toei’s landmark film The Legend of the White Snake in 1958 and Astro Boy - but in his own right, he’s also a co-founder of Madhouse alongside people like Osamu Dezaki (Animation Night 95), Yoshiaki Kawajiri (25, 67) and Masao Maruyama (later, founder of MAPPA). He directed such classics as Space Captain Harlock (1978) and Galaxy Express 999 (AN62), he helped create the network of connections that led to Akira, he did a chapter of Tezuka’s Phoenix (AN80) he was still going strong in the 2000s with Metropolis (53).

He is, in short, one of the most significant directors in anime. And yet, to actually find out much about him beyond the films he’s made and the places he’s worked is surprisingly hard. Even in interview, his answers are a little vague. But then, the anime and manga industry are full of reclusive, shy creators. So let’s look at the films...

...or rather, let’s look at the OVAs! Look at them with our mouth eyes.

Pop.

Rintaro spent the late 70s and early 80s working not at Madhouse but at Toei, which was a chance for him to spread his wings outside of the shadow of Dezaki. This was the Captain Harlock era, and the Galaxy Express 999 era, the latter’s remarkable film building the important connection with Yoshinori Kanada and his ‘liquid fire’ effects.

In 82, after adapting renowned satirical novel I Am A Cat for a TV special, Rintaro came back to Madhouse - around the time of Dezaki’s Space Adventure Cobra. There, he would direct Genma Taisen (Harmageddon), which can in many ways be called the prototype for Akira, setting up the power trio of Otomo, Koji Morimoto and Takashi Nakamura. I’ll be screening that for Animation Night before too long, so more on that then (or just read Watzky’s article!).

As Dezaki stepped back, Madhouse entered the era that made it famous, what we could call the ‘auteur era’. Riding the OVA boom, they animated dozens of sci-fi films, OVAs and TV shows by a variety of directors. Their style tended to emphasise static detail with bursts of complex animation; chiaroscuro night settings with bright lights driven by background animation. Rintaro was one of their stars.

So this evening we’re going to pick out two of his works from this period in the new OVA format...

Let’s start with Bride of Deimos (悪魔 (デイモス)の花嫁). (Unfortunately I can’t display ruby text on Tumblr, but imagine that デイモス is written above the first two kanji.)

Bride of Deimos was an interesting beast: a shōjo horror manga by writer Etsuko Ikeda and illustrator Yuuho Ashibe with a a very classic-shōjo, Year 24 Group-esque visual style. (Beyond ‘authors of this manga’, it seems almost impossible to find out anything about either.) If I’m reading the plot summary right, revolves around a high school girl called Minako, who is the reincarnation of a demon Venus, the twin sister of an incestuous demon named Deimos; she is reincarnating because was executed by the demons for her incest crimes but the original soul seems to be out there somewhere? Deimos wants to bring Minako back to the underworld so Venus can possess her body again; Minako would prefer not to, and she’s got a lot of jealous people and suitors to fend off in the meantime thanks.

The manga ran a solid 26 years, from 1974 all the way to 1990. Rintaro could obviously not adapt something of that scope, and his 1988 OVA excerpts just one chapter from the whole epic for a half-hour OVA. It revolves around a brother-sister pair, the brother raising orchids and taking care of a disabled sister, who are both very yandere over each other. Into this whole mess stumbles Minako.

So expect a lot of very gothic imagery; it’s worth noting that Madhouse had adapted Vampire Hunter D just a few years earlier, and I think you can see the influence in its character design. There’s at least one very elaborate sequence of background animation which you can see above; unfortunately sakugabooru do not seem to know who animated it.

And then, just a few years later, we have Teito Monogatari (帝都物語), known in English as Doomed Megalopolis.

The original Teito Monogatari (1983-7) was a sprawling historical epic serial novel crossing basically the entire 90s, following the occult works of an immortal warlord of the Taira clan who led a failed rebellion against the central government (the same Taira clan whose fall is chronicled in the Heike Monogatari, c.f. Animation Night 91) and has now become a ghost serving the same empire. In the present, he is succeeded by Yasunori Katō, a former soldier in the imperial Japanese army who is in fact a vengeful oni working for 90 years to bring about the downfall of the Japanese Empire, bringing him into conflict with a long list of historical figures...

His ruinous ambitions bring him into conflict with some of 20th century Japan's greatest minds including industrialist Eiichi Shibusawa, onmyoji Abe no Seimei's descendant Yasumasa Hirai, authors Koda Rohan and Izumi Kyoka; physicist Torahiko Terada, and author Yukio Mishima.  The resulting conflict, involving science, magic and politics; spans 90 years of Japan's history.

The story begins near the end of the Meiji period and ranges through the rest of the century. It reinvents major events such as the Great Kantō earthquake [in the story, the work of Katō and his allies], the founding of Japan's first subway, the February 26 Incident, the firebombing raids, the signing of the 1960 US Security Pact, and the ritual suicide of Yukio Mishima. The narrative finally reaches its climax in 1998, the 73rd year of a fictional Shōwa period.

The overall structure of the narrative seems to be that Katō comes up with various dastardly plans to destroy Tokyo, and is stopped by these historical figures (and original characters), deferring the destruction of Tokyo to later and later dates. In that regard it seems to fit the onryō mode, where the monster really is a victim of something terrible but nevertheless needs to be stopped. How that reflects on the subject of nationalism it raises so centrally, I’m not sure, and I’m curious to find out! e.g. it’s curious to me that it’s the villain Kato, despite fighting on behalf of indigenous people crushed by Japan, who dresses in the sinister, Nazi-like uniform of an Imperial Japanese Army officer.

This story proved wildly popular, and caused a resurgence of interest in mysticism, such as onmyōdō and feng shui, as well as the classic figure of the oni. It inspired numerous adaptations (one by Takashi Miike!) and subsequent works in the same vein in literature and manga.

By the time Rintaro got to it, there had already been one successful tokusatsu adaptation of the first four chapters in 1988 by Toho, which had received wide acclaim. There had also been a certain OVA called Urotsukidōji, discussed back on Animation Night 69, which proved that sex and violence were very in - and as a result, this OVA went a lot harder than earlier Rintaro works or indeed previous adaptations of Teito Monogatari. Hoping to distinguish his take from previous adaptations, Rintaro emphasised the supernatural aspects - the things it was possible to display with elaborate effects animation. And thus animators like Tatsuyuki Tanaka provided suitably gruesome imagery.

The series spans four episodes, each about forty minutes, all overseen by Rintaro but directed respecitively Kazuyoshi Katayama, Koichi Chigira, Kazunari Kume and Masashi Ikeda. Like Toho’s take, it focuses on the first four chapters, spanning the period 1912-1928, in which the Meiji government was rapidly industrialising Japan and transforming it into a colonial power to stand against the Europeans; not long before the story starts, Japan had annexed Korea in 1910. Beyond his earthquake shenanigans, Katō schemes to possess a girl called Yukari Tatsumiya and her daughter Yukiko. A full-on wizard war ensues.

And I think that’s enough time writing. So, if you will join me tonight, we’ll be watching Bride of Deimos followed by all four episodes of Teito Monogatari (Doomed Megalopolis)! Starting shortly on twitch.tv/canmom - hope to see you there!

[iamdarkness]

To Feed a Tiger: Forces of Will

Alfonse x reader summoner, Lif x reader Summoner,

Dimitri x reader x Alfonse x Lif one sided.,,or is it?

Chapter 5

Chapter Summary:The Alfonse and his summoner ( you) embark on a journey to gather intel about the rumors of war and find more than they were ready for.

Through the years you had spent in Zenith, it had become a habit, to help Alfonse out of his armor. Despite him having his own retainer, he had relied on you to do the job while on the go during campaigns. Now it was almost a ritual for the two of you to do this at the end of each day and journey. It was a very intimate moment even when there was no romantic or sexual motives involved.

It all had started a couple of weeks after your arrival, with a fascination for the armor on your part and curiosity on how it was all put together. It was easier to ask Sharena of course but the proximity of his chamber to yours had made it easier for you to ask him instead on a whim. You still remember his blushing face when you asked if you could see how it was taken off and put on.

-Come on Alfonse ! One of theses day it is going to be just the two of us in a mission and I am not going to be able to help you into it properly if I do not know how to do it before! You could get killed!

-Just the two of us?

-Well yes! Who else would I take on a two person mission but you? Or like if we get stranded somewhere.- Alfonse had blushed and in his heart he felt something warm at the show of trust.

And so Alfonse had agreed with the idea, because it was always a possibility of everything happening in a war. So with a blushing face the Prince with the Golden Wings, called his retainer Einar and asked him to teach you how to dress and undress him. Most of the armor was easy enough for Alfonse to handle by himself if needed, but some items were only able to be adjusted by a third person and that was where the retainer came in.

At first the stern look on Einar’s face when he heard about your request had taken you aback; until you remembered how conservative these people were; but the man of around thirty years of age had softened when you showed real interest for the details of the armor. He had given you names and uses and details of the history of the make and design of each royal armor. It was very interesting information. It was later on and with an embarrassed face that you realized that you had almost treated Alfonse like a personal doll when you asked Einar if you could do it yourself and without asking Alfonse himself.

- Of course Summoner! That is…erm…if His Highness permits it.- Said Einar embarrassed as well since he had been so engrossed in the conversation and Alfonse had been so quiet you both had almost forgotten he was present.

Alfonse cleared his throat and with a blush on his face he answered.- Yes…of course.- His voice almost a whisper. If you had not been so distracted by the work and the instructions you would have noticed the blush never left his face and he was stiff as a board and very nervous.

-I’m gonna need more practice! Don’t worry Sir! By the time I learn to do it right, I will be able to undress you and dress you in no time at all! I can even help Sharena too!

At your words Alfonse’s heart was raising fast. He had no idea why your words had that effect on him, but he was so embarrassed he could not answer you. He was afraid you could hear his heart about to burst our of his chest. Thankfully and strangely enough sadly, your gaze was not long on him and you did not notice his state.

Soon after thanking Einar for his information, and Alfonse for his compliance, you left for him to get ready for bed. As the door to the study closed behind you, he let a breath out he did not know he was holding. He relaxed his stance and noticed that now that his jaw was loose, it was trembling a bit as if the room was cold. Yes, you never noticed this, but Einar who knew him since he was younger, did and his knowing smile puzzled Alfonse. It was until later, when he understood his feelings towards you, that he realized his retainer knew even before himself that he was in love with you.

Years later and here you two were again. You give a small laugh at the memory, while you are standing ready for Alfonse to call for your help. He looks up at you from his sitting position where he was taking off his leg guards and gives you a inquiring look.

-Do you remember the first time I took your armor off? When Einar was instructing me on how to do it?- You ask while he comes to stand in front of you facing the med.

-How could I forget…You two forgot I was there.- He said looking over his shoulder at you, who now stood ready to take the rest of the armor off.

-Why didn’t you say something? You just let us talk and undress you!

-Well…I was a bit embarrassed and …I confess I could not talk at the moment.

-You could have told me you did not want me to touch you, you know.- You say undoing the bindings of his mail and helping him get it off. He takes his tunic off and is left with his under armor.

-Then you would not have been able to help me all those times you have. You needed the practice and I your help…besides- he takes a moment looking down to his hands that are taking off his gloves, then he looks you in the eyes.- Maybe I wanted you to undress me.

This confession takes you by surprise and you stand there like deer in the headlights, with parted lips and blushing face. His deep blue eyes darken with emotion and you feel him get closer to you. As much as you two love each other, he was ever the respectful man and he mostly kisses your forehead or hand . Knowing and understanding his position, the respect was mutual so you never tried to touch him in any improper manner in public. You were not lovers even when both knew you were devoted to each other and had been for years.

It was this kind of respect that allowed you two to be able to be together alone and sleep next to each other during campaigns and to keep your shared chambers in the castle. Now it had allowed you to stay together for the two person team mission without a chaperon.

At this time though you were too preoccupied to think of nothing besides Alfonse too close to your face and about to kiss you, while you were alone in a room, in an Inn, in a small town, in the middle of nowhere.

-Alfonse…- The name came out breathy from your lips. This made Alfonse make up his mind and finally kiss you. He places his arms around you and pulls you to his chest. He wanted you. He had wanted you for a long time. In fact he had found himself fantasizing about you months after he had met you. He had been afraid to fall in love with you and had tried to suppress his feelings and attraction, but it all had been in vain. Now the prospect of loosing you was real and he found that he was not ready to lose you so easily. The day you had asked him to let you have him had played in his head over and over for the past nights and it was getting harder to not march up to your door and give in to temptation.

For the first time since you two have been together Alfonse feels bold enough to act on his feelings. It may be that he is finally away from the pressure of his duties and the people surrounding him. Here and now it is only the two of you.

He sighs into the kiss and leave your mouth to kiss your neck. Your heart is pounding like crazy and you feel yourself starting to heat up. You feel those tender lips fluttering on the sensitive skin of your neck. He opens his lips to taste you and you feel his wet tongue, soft and hot lick tentatively. It is a tender and soft gesture but you feel it like a hot iron branding your skin. You hear yourself moan softly and he responds with a groan of his own. A guttural sounds that makes your inside melt.

His hands tighten around your waist and one of them finds the edge of your blouse and lifts it to touch the skin on your back. His hands roam your upper body until he reaches one of your breasts. He stops and looks at you with half lidded eyes. He is asking for permission. You nod at him to continue.

- Your Highness? Prince Alfonse? Is the Summoner with you?- You hear the gruff voice of Fallen Dimitri. He knocks the door again.

==Oh yeah we are not alone yet.==

Alfonse jumps back a step and looks at you. You are still too out of it to respond. Knowing he can not lie to him since there really are not too many places where you could be and lying would look suspicious he clears his throat and responds.

-Yes. She is here.- This bring you back to reality and you go and open the door hurriedly. Dimitri stands there looking suspiciously inside. Alfonse has turned away to fix the pieces of armor and mail on his bed to move it to the chair. He turns his face to acknowledge Dimitri, trusting that his hair is obscuring his face enough that the blond will not see his blush.

-I’m sorry to make you wait. I was helping Alfonse with his armor. How can I help you? Do you need help with yours?

-No thank you Summoner. Freyr is helping me out. I came to let you both know the innkeeper said he will have the provisions ready in the morning and the extra horse you needed to carry the tent and provisions. Also supper is ready. Will you be having dinner downstairs or would you like to have dinner in your rooms?

-Alfonse?

-We will be down in ten minutes if _____ is fine with it.

-Sure!- You answer faster than you intended.- Thank you Your Highness.- Dimitri eyes you both suspiciously and nods before he leaves.

-That was close…-You say. Alfonse nods blushing. He walks up to you and kisses your forehead.

-Come. Let us get ready to go down.

==We will have time for this when we are alone.== He thinks and sighs in anticipation.

Here in this moment while you are at the intersection where your two person groups will part ways with Team Dimitri /Freyr and with the prospect of the time you will be spending alone; he has forgotten about Lif and his engagement as a problem impossible to fix. Here and now he has promised himself to find a way to fix his situation and a way to find a way to keep you by his side.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***~*~*

Your parting with the other team left you worried. You had not liked the idea of F Dimitri going on a mission so far from home and much less taking Freyr, but you also figured they did need the time off and the distraction. Plus they both had enough medicines and you had the medallions to alert you of their well-being. They promised to check in with you every night and to take care of each other.

They took the road South and you took the road Southwest.

It has taken you days to reach the Western coast. You two had ridden through various little towns and a couple of cities and gone past the Northwestern Nibel Mountains where Alfonse’s cousin Earl Andreas of Nibelheilm lived. His fortress was only surpassed by Midgard’s Keep in the North. Alfonse suggested a visit as well but the time it took to get to the coast had taken longer than anticipated and you had a schedule to keep. (1)

-We can visit him in the next mission if the rumors prove false.- Says Alfonse looking longingly at the distant snowy mountains. It was very hot in the coast.

-Is he the one that saved your father when Hel first attacked Askr years ago?

-His father. Uncle Andreas died along with my grandfather and cousin Alfonse almost died as well. I am named after him. He was General of the Royal Army right until we fought Hel. He retired after that. I wish you had met him back then. Come we need to get something to drink.

- Oh that New Year Festival you hosted by yourself when I had to go with Fjorm was there right? - You asked. Alfonse nods. You look around the terrain. The trail ended on a clearing surrounded by palm trees and some other fruit trees.-There is no one around here though. Are you sure the town is supposed to be around here? The coconuts look good. If we shake the palm tree we can get the water out with the sword.

- The map indicates the town should be around here. I mean this is the trail that leads to it. I came here when I was eleven. Cousin Andreas has a Beach House close to here. I was counting on using it to stay there some days.- Alfonse said focusing on the map in his right hand while he used his handkerchief to dry sweat from his forehead and neck.- It was not this hot back then…

- Maybe they moved the town…So how about the coconuts? They are great for hydration.

- Why would they move the entire town? How is this place hotter than Muspell?

-It is not. It is the humidity. Muspell was hot dry and sweat did not bother you, it just gave you headaches and people just passed out from dehydration. This is not as hot but very humid so it does not dry your sweat. It makes you more aware of the heat I guess. So the coconuts?

Alfonse sighs.- Fine. I will go up the palm tree and get you, your coconuts.

-You don’t need to go up there. We can shake the …and there he goes.- You watch as Alfonse goes up the palm tree and as he makes his way up you see something.- Hey Alfonse!! Get down! There is a Coconut Crab up there!

Alfonse looks down frowning. He has no idea what a coconut crab is or how it looks so he thinks you are joking because a coconut crab really?

The color and texture of the crab makes it hard for him to see it even though he is closer to its side. Alfonse keeps going up.

-For the last time. We don’t have Pokemon in Askr.- He says smiling.

-What? NO! Alfonse! That thing is huge! Careful with its claws! - You know they are not very hostile, but seeing one so close would be a scare if he has never seen one before. Also you know he does not like spiders. Alfonse still does not listen to you, but you see him halt. He stays motionless for a second and then scampers down the tree so fast he falls the last distance and lands on his butt. Unhurt he gets up and point to upwards.

-What in Askr’s name is that? Is that a giant spider?- He says louder than he intended. You try to keep from laughing.

-That is the coconut crab I told you about. They eat coconuts.

-Crab? That is a huge spider ________. You said crab. Crabs are small…not …that huge and …ugly.- He says disturbed.

- I did not want to scare you and make you fall…And they are actually crabs…just huge… I told you it was huge. Oh dodge!- You say when the crab cuts a coconut and causes it to fall down. You try getting out of the way but bump into Alfonse who is still looking up bewildered. The coconut hits you partly on the shoulder.- Oh CRAP! That hurts!! Alfonse!

Alfonse’s eyes are huge with worry. He takes your hand and moves you away from the palm tree. He moves the torn blouse to see your shoulder and arm. There is a scrape runs from the top of the arm almost to the elbow. There is not much blood coming out of the wound but it is an angry red and he knows it will be turning purple soon. The coconut hit you with the top part and the stem was the one that scraped your skin.

-OH Askr! I am so sorry! I thought you were playing. It sounded like on of those Pokemon you sometimes talk about.

-Coconut crabs do sound funny…- You say smiling. He is obviously worried, feels guilty and embarrassed and will probably be torturing himself ever your scrape for days.- Don’t worry I did not believed they were crabs at fist either. - You explain while he takes the med-kit to cure the scrape.- I also thought they were huge spiders. They are not hostile…much, but don’t make them angry any ways. Their claws are very strong. Hey you !! You owe me a coconut after this! - You joke yelling at the crab, who has already cut another coconut.- Make it two!

Alfonse’s brows furrow at the joke but he also smiles. He finishes putting a salve on the wound and dressing it up. You walk up to the palm tree and look up.

-Hey I’m taking two of those if you don’t mind. Thank you! You are a life saver!

-You are taking it’s coconuts?

-Heck yeah. It can climb up faster and more easily than us. Besides, I already paid it with my blood.- You say laughing. Alfonse is looking at the crab with trepidation as it climbs down. There are four more coconuts on the ground besides the ones you took.- Want to look at it cracking the coconut?

-No.- He says a little disturbed and turns around to leave. You smile. At least he has forgotten about the heat.

-It’s weird…back on Earth they lived on islands that are more to the South where the climate is hotter. What are they doing here?- Alfonse send you a look that said “hotter?”.- I mean this year feels hotter than usual, but it is still colder than their original habitat.

Alfonse found a place under some trees and after checking out for more crabs he cuts the top of the coconuts with the big hunting knife he carries. After drinking the refreshing water he crack it with Folkvangr. After that rest you come to a place where there are some fishermen by the sea.

Alfonse approaches the men to ask for the town.

-A storm last year destroyed most of the town. The people relocated closer to the mountain north of here. We still come here for the fish. The road forks out some distance before the bridge. You didn’t see it?

- I thought it was a new settlement not on the map. Why didn’t your people report the move to the higher authorities?- Asks Alfonse furrowing his brows. The men look at each other.

-Are you related to Lord Andreas?

-Yes. He is my First Cousin once removed.

-A noble then?

-You may say that.

-Well. The pirates do not want the Lord to know about this.

-Pirates?!

-They have their lair inside the mansion near the new town. They arrived with the storm… We suppose their ship was taken off course and they landed here. They liked the place and took the mansion as their own. When we started relocating they prevented us from sending word to the Lord. They have the town hostage.

-I see. -Says Alfonse and then looks at you. You understand immediately what he is thinking.- We are going to need reinforcements.- You nod and call out your messenger owl.

-Celeste! Here!- You shout and then use the whistle that will alert the owl to come to you.

-A messenger Owl?- Asks one of the men.Alfonse goes to the horses and unpacks some parchment to write the message out.

-Yes. Will they know it carries a message?

-No. Messenger owls are rare here. Only the late Mayor had one and they killed it…along with the late mayor.

The message explaining the situation was sent to the Earl for him to send troops. After that the men told them how to get to the town but told them they would be watched.

Alfonse decided to make camp right there but not too close to the palm trees.

-Ah! You saw the giant spiders? They came with the storm and have been a real menace! I think the pirates were carrying them.

-They do look like spiders.- Says Alfonse under his breath.

-So they are invasive! I knew they could not be native! Have they been eating the birds too? Kittens?

-Yes and everything smaller than them. They come at night to hunt…how do you know?

- The coconut crabs are known to do that the island they live on is devoid of birds. They will throw valance of the ecosystem off.

- We have killed all the ones we have seen in town, but they are reproducing and people are afraid of them. We are more mindful of the kids, that is for sure.

- Do you not eat them?-The men look at you shocked.- They are giant hermit crabs without a shell. People in the islands eat them and say they are very good. They even think they are aphrodisiac….I mean they are not, but they think it.- The men look at you, then at each other and then at Alfonse who shrugs.

-They are not poisonous?

-The ones at home aren’t…I mean you don’t have to eat them I was just asking.

After setting up camp and getting the tent up and camouflaging it so the pirates would not find it so easily, you set up to cook something. The fishermen pitch in with some fish and some of them comeback from inland bringing something. After one look you see it is one of the coconut crabs.

-So mam. Do we just cook this like any other crab?- You nod. And they get to cooking it. It is too big for the pans so they dig a hole in the ground and fill it with the fire’s embers then a layer of sand and then some leaves and the crab. They place more leaves and cover them with a layer of sand and on top of that they build another fire where they roast the fish and you cook some of the food you have.

Alfonse had gotten very good at cooking on an open fire and he demonstrates when he cooks beans and bacon with ham, sausage and spices. A recipe he got from Gonzales. The men use coconut shells as bowls and cups. You had a great time while Alfonse questioned the men about the pirates and about any rumors they may have heard about the upcoming war.

-So what is your name Mam?

- It is ________.

-That is an unusual name. You seem to know a lot about them crabs. Are you from them Islands?

-What? Oh I just read a lot and have seen them on pictures…drawings.

-I have been wanting to ask. -Said the oldest one of the six.- We have heard tales…are you from The Order?- The man asks.- You are a nobleman and I can tell you are a warrior, not just by that one sword, but because of the way you move, and that sword could not belong to just anybody…- You leave this one to Alfonse.

- I am Prince Alfonse of Askr. As you can tell by my questions we are on a mission from The Order to find information about some rumors we have heard. Luckily we found you so we can help you out with the situation.

They all are shocked by the information except the oldest of them. It looked like his suspicions were true. There are coughs from one of them when he chocked on his food.

-MY name is Rauni Elmerson, I met your father once. Years ago. Maybe you do not remember me since I have aged, but I met you too Your Majesty. My father was the elder and he was your guide when your family last came to visit. You are just like your father. A man of the people. A good man. It was thanks to him that we survive the big storms. Before his visit we used the caves as shelter when the storms hit, but they are far and sometimes people did not make it on time. He ordered to build a shelter not far from here under Lord Andrea’s Villa. We built the new town next to it. The pirates use it for their lair. We have had no storms as of yet, so we have had no need to use the shelter.

- Of course I remember. We stayed in cousin’s Villa for two weeks. You and your wife came to bring us fruits and I remember your wife cooked for us. You had four children then. I did not recognize you with that beard.

- Yes. You remember. I have three children now. The oldest died last summer during the storm.- The man said. Alfonse and you gave him your condolences.- Thank you. My mother is the elder now. Your sister? I hope she is doing fine. I remember she was a ray of sunshine! She made friends with all the kids in the village.

-She is doing great. She is still a ray of sunshine and making friends with all the heroes in the Order.

-Yes. That is our dear Sharena.

- My Lady is your fiance?- One of the men asked curious. You could feel yourself blushing as bright as Alfonse. They looked at you and then you two answered that you were not engaged at the same time.

- I am his Summoner…well I am actually Askr’s Summoner. We are…partners.

-Oh! Please forgive me. I…

-No no…it is fine. We are alone in a mission after all. - Alfonse says.- We are partners, so they gave us the mission together. I did not want anyone else to be her guardian.

- I would not trust anyone else to be my guardian to be honest.- The men shared a knowing look but said nothing.

The men dug out the crab and they started eating it. They found they liked the taste better than the smaller crabs. They also could not believe they were dining with royalty and the legendary Summoner; that their prince would turn out to be such a humble person; refined and polite of course but humble enough to dine with some fishermen and even cook for them all. They were surprised he was such a great cook too.

The fishermen left for the village and the two of you were left alone. You had agreed not to get near the village until the reinforcements arrived. Still Alfonse felt it was a good idea to look around. Alfonse did not want to put you in danger but he did not want to leave the people alone. They had already suffered enough without help.

You two gave yourselves a dip in the sea before going to sleep but despite the cleaning you were sweating not long after going to sleep. Alfonse had planed on staying at his cousin’s beach house and spending some quality time with you but as thing were it would take some time to resolve the problem and you would end up not staying for too long after. Besides. It was too hot and he was too weary of the coconut crabs. He did not say anything but he thought he was going to have nightmares. He cursed his mind, that reminded him of that one book/movie about the dwarves lost in the fores with the giant spiders.

Alfonse looked at you from across the small tent. You were reading some lines from the report you had started to write moments before. He really wanted to breach the distance, but he also wanted to take off his skin with this heat. He bit his lower lip and then furtively he checked his armpits for any foul smells.

==All good…==

-I am so tired. I wanted to write the report, but my eyes are closing by themselves…That is it. This heat is getting me too sleepy. Good night Alfonse. I will finish this tomorrow.- With this you rolled over to your side.

There it was. He had taken too long staring at you and thinking about it. He sighed in defeat.

-Good night ________- He answered. He debated a good five minutes, weather he should try it again and get near you. He made up his mind and rolled over to your side. He looked over your shoulder and was about to plant a small kiss on your neck when he noticed your lips slightly parted and your even breath. You were asleep already.

He looked at you for some moments and smiled. He was tired too. He rolled over to his mat and went to sleep.

==Maybe tomorrow.==

The next day before setting out to explore the area the owl came back with a note. “We arrive in two days. Send map of location and how many sentinels there are.” They hear a raven and notice it had been following the Owl. This was Lord Andreas’ own messenger bird.

-I’m liking your cousin more and more. - Although you knew there were raven messenger birds, The Order used mainly owls as messengers and you had never seen an actual raven messenger bird.

- We need to get close to the village and see how many sentinels and guards there are but I don’t want you to put yourself at risk.

-I wonder if the fishermen will come today. I am sure they went out to fish earlier than dawn, but I wonder if they could give us an idea or a hand.

- Come we should get some breakfast and then form a plan after.

They were preparing their breakfast when a young boy of about fifteen years came walking fast holding some sacks on his back. He kneels on one knee in front of Alfonse in reverence and starts talking not looking directly into his eyes.

-Your Majesty.. My Lady. I apologize for my lateness. I have been tasked by my grandfather to be in your service. I was supposed to arrive here earlier but the pirates are in town today and it was hard to evade them to come to you.

- Rise up. Your name?

-Arlan Sir! Arlan son of Iver son of Rauni.

- Arlan. You are the elder’s great grandson then.- Arlan nodded.- Well met. Do not worry about your tardiness. It is better to be cautious than fast. I am grateful you have come to aid us. We will need some information, but first tell us. You said the pirates are in town. I don’t suppose it means all of them.

- Well they do leave a guard or two. One in the mansion and one in their ship close to the caves. Still they are not as cautious as you would think. They know how many people we are in town and they spy on us and the people and the merchants that come and go. They know no one of us will dare go near the mansion or the ship with them in town. My friends and I counted them and only two of them are missing so it means they were probably left behind to guard the treasure and the ship.

-Will they not miss you then?

- I was supposed to be fishing with my father so they should not miss me. Father will come pick me up when they are finished with the fishing.

-I see. Do you know how many of them are there? How many stay to guard the town in regular days?

-Of course! My friends and I even have an schedule. They may be pirates and a rowdy bunch but they are very organized! Their captain is a very strict woman.

- Great! Tell us everything and then help me draw a map of the new town -Said Alfonse writing some notes.

Notes taken and information made into a letter; Alfonse called at the raven waiting for their response. The creature came down to stand on his arm. Meanwhile you gave him a hand by tying the letter to the bird’s leg where a leather case was waiting for the papers to be kept safe. Arlan looked nervous and mistrusting at the bird. He had heard they could pluck your eyes out.

-Raven and crows are naturally intelligent and sometimes mischievous. They recognize faces and are able to pass this information even to their young; which means if you make them your enemies so then their future generations will remember too.…and they do like and collect shinny things. I am afraid they have a bad reputation because of that. I wonder if it may let me pet it.- You say looking at the raven. It turned its head sideways to better look at you and suddenly…

-YES!- Came the deep croaky voice of the raven answering. (2)

-See! He is not going to poke your eyes!- You said as you pet the raven’s soft and shiny feathers. -So what is your name?- You ask the bird.

- Draven

- That is an awesome name. Do you think your cousin would get very angry if I teach it to randomly say “Nevermore”?

-Why?- Asked Alfonse curious bout it.

-There is a poem about a guy who lost his bride and a raven appears to him through a window and keeps on saying ‘nevermore’.

- Please don’t do that. My cousin…

-Oh crap! Did he lost a loved one?

-…In a way…

-Oh! I’m sorry. I promise I will not teach him anything bad.

- Some say he was not the same after the war with Hel because he lost someone dear to him. Others say he goes to another realm to visit his love and it is an impossible marriage.- Says Arlan, his face reflecting sadness.- I do not know what would be worse.- Alfonse looks down and changes the topic.

-We better send him back and go take a look at the caves.- He looks at the raven and thanks him, instructing him to go back to his master. You could see he was avoiding something. You made a mental note to ask later.- Arlan you can lead us to a safe way to the caves after some breakfast.

- Of course your highness. By the way. My father told me to give this keys to you. They open the fortress mansion. Well…the secret entrance. You see. My great grandfather told us that there is a secret entrance before he was kidnapped by the pirates. Only a few people know about it. My Great grandmother is the elder now so she knows and she passes the knowledge to us who will one day perhaps be elders ourselves. This is why he was not able to say this in front of the others yesterday.

-They kidnapped your great grandfather?

-It was months ago…We haven’t heard anything from him. We believe he is dead.

-Are you too afraid to inquire about him?- Asks Alfonse with a furrowed brow.

-No we have done so may times. They just tell us he is safe and not to worry about it. I suppose they have got him as hostage to keep us in line…but…he is probably dead by now and that is why they will not let us see him or give us any information about him.

-I see. We will see that they meet the right punishment.Thank you for bringing these keys. We should give it a look after we come back from the caves. Arlan. Do me a favor. It is better for you to call me just Alfonse for now, in case we are taken captive. They should not know who we are.

-I…as you wish your…Alfonse.

-_______ ? Could you please take some supplies from the bags so we can prepare some lunch for the way?- Alfonse asks and you nod and go back to the horses that are tied up behind the tents. Then Alfonse turns to Arlan.- Arlan I need you to promise me something. Whatever happens to me, make sure she is saved no matter what. Do you understand?

-But…- Arlan started then a look of determination was set on his eyes when he saw how serious and solemn Alfonse was.- Upon my honor…Alfonse.- He said and took Alfonse’s offered hand to seal the deal.

-Excuse my curiosity but…do we really need to take lunch?- Asked Arlan some minutes later.

-She will get cranky otherwise.- Alfonse answers smiling fondly while looking at you.

You had a hurried breakfast and take the map and form a plan of where to go and how to get there.

~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~

-Will we not get spotted ? -You ask when walking out of the cover of the trees and step on the stones of the rocky slope that led to the caves.

-The pirates do not care about the caves. Apparently they explored it and found nothing of use in there. There really isn’t anything of value to them. The people used them only as refuge once ago, but their value is in their beauty. You will see. Besides it is close to the old road. The one you took. They do not keep watches over it. That is why they did not see you coming.

- You should have told me that before so I could inform Lord Andreas.

-Well I thought hey would be using the old road since he will not be aware of the new one….was I out of line?

-No. I suppose you are right. Still I will send the Owl to let him know this and any useful information we may get from the caves. Why don’t they watch the road?

-They think it’s haunted.

-What? Haunted? Why?- Alfonse asks a little to fast.

-Ever since the dead came back to walk the living world he have had sightings of…well strange happenings.

-Oh… I see. - Alfonse said nothing more but you could see in his face that he had something in mind.

- We have you to thank for saving us from that right? We are pretty remote so we did not see much of the situation and no battles thank Lord Askr, but we have no love for that witch… she came through here once you know… and him…

-Hel?

-No! Queen Thrasir! She came through here some time during the war against Hel. What she was looking for we do not know, but sometime later He came. I only saw him briefly…The first King. He was a sight to behold too… - Did they give you a lot of trouble?

-She did. When she came. She brought a horde of the dead. Lord Andreas was around thankfully. The people who cold not fight hid in the mansion.I was too young to fight, sadly…Lord Andreas was fighting her personally and they say it was an impressive battle!

-And Lif?

-No… he…came by himself one night…He came when Lord Andreas was away fighting in the front. My friends and I were out patrolling and we saw him on the road. He disappeared near the Mansion and we did not dare follow. Some people say they have seen him around, but I think it is just their imagination. Can I ask you something?- Asks Arlan who had stopped walking and was looking down to his feet. Alfonse made a sound of assent, but avoided looking at you or him.- Is it true? We heard he was being manipulated by Hel, but…is it true he was the one who saved us in the end?

Alfonse stopped. It had been a general agreement to keep the secret of Lif’s and Thrasir’s true identities. Only a couple of people knew the truth counting F Dimitri because he had seen too much. He sighted looking grim.- It is thanks to his and Thrasir’s sacrifice that we were victorious…

-Oh…I see.

- I wonder why he came by himself? And are you sure the people who saw him later are not …actually seeing him?

- Of course not! They have seen him recently and I mean the dead did disappear after Hel was killed right?- He asks nervously.

-You are right sorry.- You say avoiding Alfonse’s eyes. Alfonse said nothing but he had the feeling there was more to it and he knew you knew. He wondered why Lif would be coming to these parts of Askr.

-Let’s get going then.- Was all Alfonse said.

Once in they reached the caves you spare a moment to use the spyglass to take a look at the pirate ship.

-Do they ever sail to steal other ship’s cargo?

-They have done it a couple of times, but they always leave people to watch the town. I think they are afraid of Askr’s Navy, and that is why they don’t sail more often. Also they find all they want at town.

- We have had no reports of attacks to ships. I will have to have a talk to the Navy officers when this is over. Come we need to get inside and take a look.

-Should one of us not stay behind to keep watch?- You ask. Alfonse shares a look with Arlan.

- Will stay to keep watch Alfonse. The cave does not branch enough to get lost, but be careful. We have not been around to inspect it. There may be something dangerous.

- We will be careful.- Said Alfonse and took your hand in his to go inside.

It took some time to explore the caves. The entrance tunnel of the main cave was as expected made of what looked like what once had been an undersea cave with tale tell signs of human interaction. There was a main “road’ where the sediment was darkened black by the acidic touch of mammals, but beyond the road flanked by column, stalactites and stalagmites the rest of the surfaces were covered by the wet sheen of water and glitter of crystals of many colors that hit with the light of the lamp shone like stars. It took you by surprise that being a shelter for the people it was so well taken care of. They had been sure to interact with the natural formations as little as possible and so the beauty had been preserved.

You came to an open space with a raised in the middle that was as big as a baseball field. The middle ground was higher than the surrounding paths and was full of small basins where water once flowed. It looked like it had been dry for a long time.

This place was once the shelter the village used before the shelter at the mansion was built, now it was home for the hundreds of bats hanging upside down from the ceiling.

- Damn…that’s a lot of… bat crap…and bugs uggg…- You whisper as to not disturb the bats and covering your nose because it smells horrible.

-We better circle around to the other tunnels. Although their presence will disturb the cave formations.

-I would throw a stone and watch the world burn, but I am afraid of rabies and a cloud of bats coming from the cave would alert the pirates of our presence.

-We will get rid of them after we take care of the pirates. Come.

You go around the atrium and are about to take the widest tunnel which seem to be on a rise when you step on a whole you could not see before. As you fall the stone around it cracks up and fall which inevitable makes it big enough for you to fall completely down it.

Your try grabbing on to the sides but they crack and you fall down the hole into the darkness. The fear is numbing you and you can barely hear Alfonse scream as you are swallowed by darkness. The last thing you see before shutting your eyes to brace for the impact was Alfonse ‘s hand trying to grab your outstretched hand.

The fall did not last long and the pain was not as sharp as you thought. When the shock was over and you were not as dizzy you were aware of Alfonse’s frantic calling.

-________! ________! Are you alright? Are you hurt!!

-Umm…I’m alive?…wait let me get up… I’m a little sore but I’m good…Hey! This place is not so deep.. and I think I fell on something soft.

-gggrrrhh

-OH FUCK ! Alfonse I think there is someone here!- You say while you look down to where you had landed and find someone trying to get up.

Alfonse lowered the lamp to look around and find you trying to help the person in the hole to get up.

-I am so sorry! Are you alright?- The man was dressed in some kind of very dirty uniform you had never seen before but had the Askr insignia on the chest.

-grrr…- The man responded backing away with his face lowered. That is when you noticed the dark stain on the uniform. It look like old dried blood.

-Alfonse! He is hurt!

Alfonse who was watching the scene unfold without talking suddenly said.- _______. Are you hurt? Are there any open wounds on you? Get away from him!

-What? Why?- You ask confused. The man then looks up at Alfonse with widen eyes and then at you.

-Can you for once do as I say?

-I…OH WHAT THE FUCK! Crap,crap,crap,crap!!!- You say as you see where the blood had been spilled. It was his neck. His neck had been slit from side to side. It was a wonder the guy could make a noise at all. At the sight of your reaction the man backed away further in the darkness with his hands in from of himself as if letting you know he meant you no harm.-Alfonse. It’s a zombie!! It’s a fucking zombie!…wait…wait… I don’t think it wants to hurt me…-You add because the man looks more scared than you.

The man made a noise and stepping up to the light still with his hands up in front of his chest and shaking his head. He even made a signal to Alfonse who growled a little in anger.

-Just stay where you are and check if you have any open wounds, while I tie the rope somewhere and lower it. And stay away from him.

-Ok.- You answer.-So…- You start awkwardly- …you have been down here for long?- You ask and the the man shakes his head again.- Were you brought here by Hel?- He seemed to think about it and then nodded once and then shock his head.- Ok… I am going to need Alfonse for this…- You check your hands, legs and torso for blood and find none.- So are you stuck here?

The man lowers his head and slowly shakes it. He points down and then along what you assume now is a tunnel. The movement seemed sad to you somehow. It made you feel bad for being afraid of him, but you had not been around a dead person since Hel…well not counting Lif. - He’s been away for some time…- You say looking up.- Sorry I fell on you…and that I scared you…

The man just nods. You take a look at him on the bluish light of the lantern his skin looks almost translucent. His hair is dark blue and his eyes deep red of course as are all of the risen. He looked like he was a handsome man just out of his teens. You start to get sad by all these thoughts so to distract yourself you start to hum. The sounds is amplified by the stone around you. Looking around to see what else you can make out in the dark; you see movement and turn to find the man moving his head a little and tapping his feet.

-Oh you like that?- He nods.- I would sing but there is a horde of bats on the ceiling just waiting to find us lacking…I mean…you know…what they do…- You try to explain and find that he is looking up at the hole with trepidation.- Although…they probably flew out scared when I yelled back then.

-Here! I will lower the rope so you can climb up.- You hear Alfonse saying.

-Hey Alfonse what about the bats? Did they fly out?- You ask while taking the rope to try and climb up. In your opinion he had too much faith in your capabilities.

-Just hold on and I will pull you up.- Alfonse says. You take the rope and at the moment he pulls at the rope there is some movement and noise. You look up to see bats flying around his head. A moment later he slips and falls down. He would have fallen on you but he got a hold on the rope and your new friend pulled you away just in time to not get hit by his falling body.

-Fiddlesticks! Did I hurt you?- He asks looking around for you. You are standing next to the guy who is holding you close to him protectively. When he feels Alfonse’s glare he lets go of you and backs away. You understand two things at the moment. One if this guy had wanted to hurt you he would have done it already. As frail and sickly as he looked, he was actually inhumanly strong and fast. You had felt it in how fast and easy he had taken you and carried you to the side away from danger in a heartbeat.

-No. He saved me… again. Thank you Sir!

-Great…- Grumbles Alfonse. - Thank you …Sir…Let me climb up and then I’ll get you out, just in case the pirates were alerted by the bats.

-Hey Alfonse… wait. Sir… you said you were not stuck here. Is there another exit?- You ask him. He looks at you and then his eyes harden when he looks at Alfonse. He looks back at you and then he nods.

-That is great!

-Wait…you can talk?- Alfonse asks because most of the risen you two had seen during the war were mostly just killing machines that behaved like beasts.- The man shakes his head and points to his throat.

-Oh!…I see. I…my apologies. I did not mean it that way…it is just we have not encounter …err…dead that can understand us.

The man looked at the fallen lamp that was still lit and lowered himself next to it, to touch the ground with one of his fingers. You saw him write something on the dirt.

-When Hel commands you…-erases when he makes sure you two are done reading.- you have no control….we were beasts to her.

-I see. I am sorry to hear that. We saw that with one of our friends.- You say remembering how she had used Lif and Thrasir against their will as if they were her puppets.- You said Hel had brought you here and then not? How is that? But first you need to tell us your name.

-I was called Gerard Viscount of Nibelheilm.

-Gerard Andreas…you were killed in the Battle of the Thousand Tears against Embla. During the first war.- Alfonse says in wonder. Gerard nods.- Lord Askr! You are the second youngest General in history!- Exclaims Alfonse excitedly. Gerard looks puzzled.

-Who is… first now? - Gerard asks. Alfonse sits on the ground next to where Gerard is writing. Gerard mimics the motion.

-The current Earl of Nibelheilm. Your great, great, grandson.- Alfonse says.- Cousin Alfonse Andreas.- There was a small smile on Gerard’s lips.- I am named after him.

-Wait…- You ask hating to stop Alfonse’s fangirling.- General? Son? Just how old were you?

-I was 22… when I was …appointed General.

-By merit! I read all about it! You were a genius in the battlefield! Cousin Alfonse is as bright as you!

-I had …my first son at 23…a daughter at 24…died at 26.

-Wow …I don’t even have a cat…unless you count Ranulf and Lethe…

-You have an army of heroes to manage.- Said Alfonse looking your way.

-True. They do behave like toddles sometime…

- You are …the legendary hero…- writes Gerard.- And you are prince Alfonse…- a confirmation, not a question.

-Oh so you remember us from the battles?- You ask.

-No. I never saw you in their ranks. I would have noticed. Hel would have used your gift…this is why he came here…- Says Alfonse staring at Gerard.

-What do you mean?

-Did he bring you here? Do you know who Lif really is?

-Yes…yes.

-Why? I get him keeping your skills hidden to not be used by Hel… but why ? And why keep you here?

-The plan was…to work for Hel only…to get the kingdom back….then finish her off… I would help him with that…

- So Lif’s plan was always to fight her back?- You ask.

-Yes. Except he was not waiting for Hel to ask for this world in particular to end…our world. It threw the whole plan off…we threw it off.- Gerard nodded and Alfonse looked away for a moment, thinking.- And …now…I see…so that is what he is planing…

-What? What is he planing? Alfonse?…

-It…Don’t worry about it Summoner. We need to go before the pirates find us here. We need to seal the hole…We can’t let anyone know you are here.- He tells Gerard. Gerard nods and jumps up the rope and climbs out. Soon enough the rope is thrown down along with Alfonse’s and your backpack that had fallen on the tunnel floor and then he jumped in.

- I will cover the hole…after I show you the exit.

Alfonse got up and took his pack. - How is it that you still bear your wound? All the others seemed …healed except for Lif and Thrasir.

-I could talk before….it came back after Hel…was destroyed.

-So he can keep you here but is not strong enough to keep you complete?

-He can not heal me…or himself…yet.

- “Yet”…not for the lack of …I see…

There is no confirmation or denial on Gerard’s part and even though you did not fully understand what they are talking about you don’t ask anything. Alfonse would tell you later if it was important right?

-I can sew up the wound…and then I will be able to talk…but there is no time now.

He pointed to his neck and you were able to see the cut was just under where the vocal chords would be. They would be intact. Indeed if the wound were to be sealed he would be able to talk. Or at least in theory.

-Interesting!

-Indeed you are right. We have been here too long. Come we need to leave.

-Oh wait my bag! We have the lunch in there.- You say going to pick up up the backpack. Gerard looked interested when you turned around. You start walking together while he leads you to the other entrance.- We have some cheese and bread with sausage, in case you want some.- You say and are surprise by how fast he turned to you and nodded. Alfonse looks puzzled in the low light of the lamp.

-So you can eat?- Alfonse asks and Gerard nods, makes notion with his hand that lets you know he does not actually need to eat.

-Ah you can but don’t need to. I do suppose I would miss the taste too.- Gerard nods and smiles at you.

Soon he leads steadily to a branch of the tunnel that starts to rice until you reach a dead end. He pulls a lever on the wall and a piece of rock moves and gets out of the way. It lead to a smaller tunnel that leads to the auditorium. The walls are solid rock without moisture and you can see why it was chosen to be the exit to the tunnel. It is located higher by a couple of feet, than the actual floor of the tunnel and in the shadows so it would not be visible from below as there is a rice in the edge before you can jump down.

-Thank you for saving me Gerard! Here! Have this food. I hope you like it. There is some sweet bread in there too.- You tell him and give him all the lunch in the bag. You knew he did not need it but you know how craving something you don’t have feels like. Gerard motions at you and Alfonse.

- Ah don’t you worry about us. We have food at camp. It’s where the old town used to be in case you want to visit.

-Just be careful not to be seen and of the giant crabs.- Alfonse says making a face.

-It’s not like they are going to kill you Alfonse. They will only eat you if you are too wounded to move or are already dead.

-What?!- Exclaims Alfonse with a look of horror mirrored by Gerard who had had a puzzled expression beforehand.

-Any ways. You can also write to me if you can or need to. Just use a code name like Sirius or something.

- It may be in our best interest if you do not risk yourself but do reach up to us if you need to or want to… Just be careful.- Says Alfonse with a serious expression.- Do you have means to communicate?

Gerard nods to that but motions to something far off.

-Only to him…

-We can leave Celeste with him. Our Owl.- You tell Gerard. He closes his eyes for a bit and shakes his head in a resign sort of way.

-I see…it is better this way. It is up to you to tell him about us…Thank you again Sir. I am very grateful for what you have done for us…and glad to have met you. We will see each other again.- Alfonse says gravely. Gerard nods solemnly. He turns to you and caresses your head and hair.

- I wish… Thank you…Until we see each other again.- You say filling so much at the same time.

You two jump down and leave. Gerard can still hear you talking while walking down the tunnel back to the light of the day he misses so much.

-You were kidding about the crabs right Summoner?

-Sadly…no…they are scavengers Alfonse…just like regular crabs…what? You did not know that?

-No.- Says Alfonse and in his mind he will never see crabs the same way again.

-Wait until I tell you about Spider Crabs…- You say mischievously. Gerard hears only a groan from Alfonse.

Still your surprise visit had lifted his spirit. Smiling he goes back to the chamber where his rooms were located. He needed to think whether he should report the incident. He will think it over as he fixes that hole in the ceiling tonight.

Once out you find that Arlan is coming back from the forest. He tell you he could hear your scream and had gone to see if someone else had been around to hear it. He had encountered one of the pirates and followed him around. Apparently they had not heard anything. When he confirmed all was fine he came back to see if they needed any help.

Alfonse explained that you two had slipped on guano and hut yourselves and you had twisted your ankle to boot. Arlan had explained that the bats were a new addition to the caves since they were afraid of the crabs. In Alfonse’s mind those crabs really had to go. All of them.

That night you two are too tired and sad for anything else but check on Dimitri and Lord Freyr.

- Dimitri is not responding…

-He is probably already asleep. Do not worry. He is a capable man and he is with Lord Freyr.

- I am worried about him too… and about…him- You motion to the direction of the caves-…I feel bad leaving him by himself…in that place…

-He is in a better place than his prior residence.- You take that to mean that the caves were better than Hel…and yes they were even with the bats and beetles. But he was alone and he seemed sad.

-He seemed sad…

==Anyone would be sad after meeting you and letting you go.== Thought Alfonse smiling warmly at your sad face. The urge to cares your cheek was overwhelming.

- We will see him again. Do…you..Do you need a hug?- He asks and his heart flutters at the bold suggestion. He was going out of his way and comfort zone and you knew it. Alfonse was not one for hugs. Not like he did not like hugs in general. In fact Alfonse was a bit touch starved and craved being hugged by Sharena and you but the way he had grown up prevented him to be comfortable with shows of intimacy. He had come a long way by letting himself be hugged and holding you when stressed out, but he still was very reluctant to ask for or offer them. You smile at him and let yourself be hugged for a bit. Soon it was too hot and you let go to go to sleep.

Alfonse would have wanted more, but as you succumb to sleep and he watches over you, his mind is too busy with all the ideas swimming in his head. He knew he had to think about all the possibilities of your discovery. The impact it will have on the war and how it changes his perception of the past.

It was a while before he too succumbed to sleep.

AN:

This is the same Earl Andreas from my oc story Iris, but from another Askr. This one from this Askr knows the people from Iris though. They met during a winter festival. I am yet to write that part.

Ravens and crows can be taught to talk and imitate human voice like parrots and are much more intelligent than they are. There is a kind of Ravens that do talk like humans do in the Middle Earth of J R R Tolkien. This crows will be of the same quality.

I think my characters are hijacking the story and I have no idea how to stop this!T_T I literally just wanted something cute that was part of a Hero’s Journey and here we are! Dimitri is being so difficult and shy and Alfonse so possessive and jealous T_T XD As a side note I just learned the “possible” fate of Amelia Earhart. I came cross the video by chance. I think Google is at it again with the spying. So I added it to the story as an after thought. Poor Alfonse will surely have nightmares.

[alaffy]

The Last of Us, Ep. 3 - Long, Long Time (spoilers)

This post is going to be extremely short as I’m only going to give a brief recap of what this episode was about.  And the reason for this is because this is very much a character piece.  It’s a strong story; but it’s the nuances in the two actors that really bring out what makes this episode so special.  And to read a long explanation about it, just doesn’t work.  Honestly, even if you’re not a fan of the show, I would still recommend watching this one episode just because it is a great piece of television.

But the story boils down to Bill and Frank; two people that live outside the Quarantine Zone and have been mentioned a few times.  And the story starts in 2003, where we find out that smaller towns were evacuated and the people were taken to the Quarantine Zones.  That is, if there was room.  If not, then they were rounded up and killed.  Bill happens to live in one of those small towns.  Bill also is a survivalist and is able to avoid the army when they came for the rest of the people.  After the town is cleared and the army has left, Bill uses his knowledge and his survival skills to block off the town and make his own secure area.  A few years later, Frank manages to stumble into one of Bill’s traps.  After assuring Bill that he’s not sick, Frank is able to talk his way into coming into the compound.  What’s more, as they spend time together, Bill and Frank realize they are attracted to one another.  

And that’s what this story is about.  It is a love story in the time of a zombie apocalypse.  And so the majority of this episode consists of flashes of the next seventeen or so years.  How Frank started to fix up the place, how they met Tess and Joel, the first time raiders came to try to take their stuff, and little moments in between.  However, we are talking about a period of almost two decades and these two weren’t young to begin with.  And, by the time Joel and Elle get to the compound, the two have been deceased for a few weeks (in fact, that’s why the radio turned on at the apartment.  To signal something had happened to them).

Now, I’m not going to go into the details of how and why they died (again, this is something that is better seen then told).  But the two knew it was going to happen.  And Bill has left a letter for Joel to let Joel know that he allowed to take the stuff he needs.

This includes a truck that Bill had kept running all of these years.  Joel tells Elle that he’s going to go west to find his brother.  However, as his brother is a Firefly, the odds are his brother can tell them were they can take Elle so she can get to the doctors.  As they are preparing to leave, Elle manages to sneak a gun into her bag (something she’s been trying to get since the first episode).  And then they leave the compound.  

[revanchistsuperstar]

Think I got a delayed emotional reaction to OFMD season two because I just started crying HARD listening to This Woman’s Work on the way home from the gay bar tonight. Weepy sad faggot details beneath the cut:

I’ve already said mentioned sort of not explicitly in the tags of a lot of posts what I’ve been going through the last few months but this is a fucking boiling point so let’s get into it.

I kissed a random man at the club tonight. He was gorgeous. He ticked every box I could think to have ticked. Otter, but a bit (lot) fruity. We were at a bear bar, I saw my friends do an awesome drag show, I was having a wonderful, happy time. Got flirted with and desired by a random man, the only thing I as a gay trans man have ever wanted. Almost was like “please, just take me home and fuck me” but he was off to another club and I didn’t feel like comitting to the bit as they say. Because here is the sad truth.

Ketan is the only person I’ve been able to see myself with for months. I love him. I hate that I do, but I do. He kissed me like I literally have never been kissed by a man before, this cisgender gay man, kissed me like I was the most beautiful, desirable man he’s ever known. We’ve known each other for

Eight years.

I’m absolutely not monogamous. I’ve had feelings for other men during the time I’ve had feelings for Ketan. This crush came on when I was still with my ex fiancée, I’ve felt this way for YEARS.

But the mother fucker had to kiss me, make me feel worthy of something for the first time in my life, say “I know,” when I told him I’d felt this way about him for years and kiss me again harder after our lips pulled apart that first time, keep kissing me that whole night over and over and over, and then pull a 180 and suddenly become too scared to talk to me ever again and tell me he was heartbroken and he couldn’t deal with this, when he was the one who came on to ME, because I as a gay trans man am so convinced every cis gay finds me repulsive I’ve never even made a Grindr despite desperately wanting to be dicked down most every day and night.

He had to say “you should have told me how you felt. I still might have done this but I would have been prepared” but then completely ghost me for an entire month.

He had to refuse to discuss it to the point that seven months later I still am so fucking confused I don’t even know how to explain to our mutual friends what the fuck happened.

And now here I am. Kissing a random, beautiful man but thinking of him. Thinking about how insane I went when he wasn’t talking to me at all, how I nearly lost my job because I was so suicidally depressed I would wake up every day and have my first thought be “I don’t want to be alive.”

I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking.

The fucking OCD mood.

This weird part of me keeps thinking “you two are meant to be together in the end, just be patient, this is the love of a lifetime and nobody has ever made you feel like this before, you two literally can talk to each other with just looks, every single damn thing about your lives is a mirror of one another, this is fate, this is a higher power doing this” but the rational part of me is so, SO fucking upset and hurt STILL and I hate both of these parts of me and I just don’t know what to do besides cry and dare to hope this might work out like it does on TV.

I miss you so much, Ketan. You’re literally only a few hundred feet away, posting “dinner for one” on your IG story, and I’m so much of a coward I can’t even text you and tell you what I feel.

And there has to be a god damn fucking tv show starring my COUSIN who LOOKS LIKE ME making it easy to project with a song that I’ve loved for years and just cuts to my core because it could be about US and I’m driving home from the club when I should be so over the moon that I got to kiss some dude who was so beautiful I’m just crying instead and…

Ketan I miss you so much. Why the fuck is this so triggering and so hard.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Love Struck

It’s been a while since I've had an manga recommendation worth writing about. I feel like I've been neglecting that aspect of my blog, mostly because finding the time to actually sit down and write out something on these things is kind of a pain right now. Life has been getting in the way pretty regularly because of course it would, which is kind of frustrating because this blog is kind of how i wind down from life you know? It’s this, movies, and games. Those are how i relax. It’s an odd thing to say when I'm basically critiquing and generally hyper-focusing on stuff enough to write a relatively detailed breakdown about it but, you know, neurodivergence! Either way, there are a few manga that have caught my attention and i finally have the time to sit and gush about them. Prepare for a deluge if manga recommends in the coming weeks because i have a ton of them. To start off, i want to talk  a little bit about Eiyuu to Kenja no Tensei Kon. Now, this blog is chock full of Isekai recommends because there are just SO many Isekai out the right now. A lot of them are trash, can’t eve begin to front about that, but there are a few gems in there.

Technically, Reincarnated • The Hero Marries the Sage ~After Becoming Engaged to a Former Rival, We Became the Strongest Couple~, isn’t an Isekai but it still hits all of those tropes. It’s more a Reincarnated type story, but even those are just Isekai tropes without the inherent Isekai triggers. Still, the strength of this particular take on those tropes, is the fact that they are just thematic in nature and take a backseat, almost immediately, to the characters, themselves. Eiyuu is about the Hero of the human Kingdom of Altein, Reid and the Sage of the Elf Kingdom of Vegalta, Elria, who clashed against each other in many battles before passing away, then being born again into a brand new world a thousand years into the future. They retained their memories, and insanely overpowered abilities, but have never lost that competitive nature or yearning for peace. A millennia later, the world they left behind, that world of malicious strife, has finally found rest and these two were given the opportunity to fully experience that peace they so longed for, so many years ago. This story isn’t about our two protagonist continuing their friendly rivalry. It’s not about two, wildly overpowered, people trying to change the world. No, it’s abut two friends, who happen to be the strongest in history, finding each other after crossing time, itself, and rekindling that intimacy into something more. It’s basically a slow burn romance comedy that just happens to star a reincarnated Hero and Sage. That’s why i love it so much.

Now, I'm a sucker for this content, straight up. I love fantasy. Eiyuu is set in a fantasy world. I love romance. It’s very obvious this narrative is going toward that direction. I mean, the name has “Married” right in the title. The thing is, though, this sh*t i adorable! Like, the characters, themselves, are an absolute delight to read! That first chapter, alone, was more than enough to hook me and that’s rare. It usually takes three or four to really get me to commit but no! That first chapter told me exactly who these characters were, where they were going to go, and how the world, itself, functions. I read those scant thirty-one pages and was immediately captivated by the narrative presents. Like, i needed that next chapter, immediately. All credit has to go to Fujiki Washiro for that. Cat came through and promptly showed his skill but giving us, as readers, so much in so little space. thirty pages is nothing and yet, here i am, spilling my guts about his story. That makes since considering their bread and butter is in the light novel. Reincarnated doesn’t have a light novel counterpart but, considering how deftly it’s written, you wouldn’t know it. I’m curious if this earnest way of telling stories is found in their other works, like Holy Swordsman's Magic Sword ~Because I became the master of a lonely and healthy demon sword, I will do my best to love it~ ? Might be worth looking into later. Now, I'm a sucker for solid writing but i have the aforementioned light novels for that. What sets manga apart from those i the art and i can say that Eiyuu has some of the best I've seen in a while.

The very first thing i noticed, in that very first panel, was the use of movement. I know that sounds absurd because it’s a static picture but, if you know anything about comics, there ways to make that happen and Nishi Riku really understands how to execute them. You can absolutely see those energy waves crashing around our protagonist while those magic formulas do their thing above. It is everything a splash page, a taste of what’s to come, should be but it doesn’t stop there. The action sequences are fantastic and feel properly devastating. You believe the damage done or the force of impact going forward. There is weight to these character designs and a realism caught up in this fantastical world. I love the whimsy and how the levity in the script is capture with Riku’s lines. There are legitimate examples of deadpan humor which are conveyed in a very direct, very theatrical, manner. This is particularly impressive considering that, you know, it’s conveyed through a goddamn comic book! This is all the more impressive when you take into account the this is Nishi Riku’s first work! Like, i can’t find anything else they’ve done! What?? How did this gem of an artist go unsung for so long?? Actually, i take that back. They have one credit under their belt, Oda Nobunaga to Iu Nazo no Shokugyou ga Mahou Kenshi yori Cheat Datta node, Oukoku wo Tsukuru Koto ni Shimashita, but that’s credited under Nishirikyuu so maybe not?

Listen, i love this book so much. Eiyuu to Kenja no Tensei Kon is one of the few manga i read, for which i track updates. It’s just that good and I'm just that hooked. Never mind that it’s premise is a bit derivative and smacks of Isekai tropes, the character work, world building, overall writing, and exceptional art, more than make up for it’s overall tropiness. It rivals Chillin Different World Life Of The Ex-Brave Candidate Was Cheat From Lv2!, Ryuu to Ayumu Nariagari Boukensha-dou ~ Youzumi toshite S-Rank Party kara Tsuihou Sareta Kaifuku Majutsushi, Suterareta Saki de Saikyou no Shinryuu wo Fukkatsu Sasete Shimau ~ !, Nito no Taidana Isekai Shoukougun, Tensei Shitara Ken Deshita, Isekai Shikkaku, Kajiya De Hajimeru Isekai Slow Life, and Isekai Mokushiroku Mynoghra, as day-one favorites. The second these things drop, i am all over them and they have yet to disappoint. The other titles i just mentioned are both excellent and worth a read but they have a few chapters on Eiyuu. My darling fantasy romance is only four chapters in but it’s split into parts, so that count is more realistically at six or seven. We’re still waiting on part two of chapter four. I hate when they do that but it does keep you on edge for however long it takes for an update. Reincarnated • The Hero Marries the Sage ~After Becoming Engaged to a Former Rival, We Became the Strongest Couple~ is an exceptional read and i highly recommend giving it a shot. You won’t be disappointed!

[smokeybrand]

Love Struck

It’s been a while since I've had an manga recommendation worth writing about. I feel like I've been neglecting that aspect of my blog, mostly because finding the time to actually sit down and write out something on these things is kind of a pain right now. Life has been getting in the way pretty regularly because of course it would, which is kind of frustrating because this blog is kind of how i wind down from life you know? It’s this, movies, and games. Those are how i relax. It’s an odd thing to say when I'm basically critiquing and generally hyper-focusing on stuff enough to write a relatively detailed breakdown about it but, you know, neurodivergence! Either way, there are a few manga that have caught my attention and i finally have the time to sit and gush about them. Prepare for a deluge if manga recommends in the coming weeks because i have a ton of them. To start off, i want to talk  a little bit about Eiyuu to Kenja no Tensei Kon. Now, this blog is chock full of Isekai recommends because there are just SO many Isekai out the right now. A lot of them are trash, can’t eve begin to front about that, but there are a few gems in there.

Technically, Reincarnated • The Hero Marries the Sage ~After Becoming Engaged to a Former Rival, We Became the Strongest Couple~, isn’t an Isekai but it still hits all of those tropes. It’s more a Reincarnated type story, but even those are just Isekai tropes without the inherent Isekai triggers. Still, the strength of this particular take on those tropes, is the fact that they are just thematic in nature and take a backseat, almost immediately, to the characters, themselves. Eiyuu is about the Hero of the human Kingdom of Altein, Reid and the Sage of the Elf Kingdom of Vegalta, Elria, who clashed against each other in many battles before passing away, then being born again into a brand new world a thousand years into the future. They retained their memories, and insanely overpowered abilities, but have never lost that competitive nature or yearning for peace. A millennia later, the world they left behind, that world of malicious strife, has finally found rest and these two were given the opportunity to fully experience that peace they so longed for, so many years ago. This story isn’t about our two protagonist continuing their friendly rivalry. It’s not about two, wildly overpowered, people trying to change the world. No, it’s abut two friends, who happen to be the strongest in history, finding each other after crossing time, itself, and rekindling that intimacy into something more. It’s basically a slow burn romance comedy that just happens to star a reincarnated Hero and Sage. That’s why i love it so much.

Now, I'm a sucker for this content, straight up. I love fantasy. Eiyuu is set in a fantasy world. I love romance. It’s very obvious this narrative is going toward that direction. I mean, the name has “Married” right in the title. The thing is, though, this sh*t i adorable! Like, the characters, themselves, are an absolute delight to read! That first chapter, alone, was more than enough to hook me and that’s rare. It usually takes three or four to really get me to commit but no! That first chapter told me exactly who these characters were, where they were going to go, and how the world, itself, functions. I read those scant thirty-one pages and was immediately captivated by the narrative presents. Like, i needed that next chapter, immediately. All credit has to go to Fujiki Washiro for that. Cat came through and promptly showed his skill but giving us, as readers, so much in so little space. thirty pages is nothing and yet, here i am, spilling my guts about his story. That makes since considering their bread and butter is in the light novel. Reincarnated doesn’t have a light novel counterpart but, considering how deftly it’s written, you wouldn’t know it. I’m curious if this earnest way of telling stories is found in their other works, like Holy Swordsman's Magic Sword ~Because I became the master of a lonely and healthy demon sword, I will do my best to love it~ ? Might be worth looking into later. Now, I'm a sucker for solid writing but i have the aforementioned light novels for that. What sets manga apart from those i the art and i can say that Eiyuu has some of the best I've seen in a while.

The very first thing i noticed, in that very first panel, was the use of movement. I know that sounds absurd because it’s a static picture but, if you know anything about comics, there ways to make that happen and Nishi Riku really understands how to execute them. You can absolutely see those energy waves crashing around our protagonist while those magic formulas do their thing above. It is everything a splash page, a taste of what’s to come, should be but it doesn’t stop there. The action sequences are fantastic and feel properly devastating. You believe the damage done or the force of impact going forward. There is weight to these character designs and a realism caught up in this fantastical world. I love the whimsy and how the levity in the script is capture with Riku’s lines. There are legitimate examples of deadpan humor which are conveyed in a very direct, very theatrical, manner. This is particularly impressive considering that, you know, it’s conveyed through a goddamn comic book! This is all the more impressive when you take into account the this is Nishi Riku’s first work! Like, i can’t find anything else they’ve done! What?? How did this gem of an artist go unsung for so long?? Actually, i take that back. They have one credit under their belt, Oda Nobunaga to Iu Nazo no Shokugyou ga Mahou Kenshi yori Cheat Datta node, Oukoku wo Tsukuru Koto ni Shimashita, but that’s credited under Nishirikyuu so maybe not?

Listen, i love this book so much. Eiyuu to Kenja no Tensei Kon is one of the few manga i read, for which i track updates. It’s just that good and I'm just that hooked. Never mind that it’s premise is a bit derivative and smacks of Isekai tropes, the character work, world building, overall writing, and exceptional art, more than make up for it’s overall tropiness. It rivals Chillin Different World Life Of The Ex-Brave Candidate Was Cheat From Lv2!, Ryuu to Ayumu Nariagari Boukensha-dou ~ Youzumi toshite S-Rank Party kara Tsuihou Sareta Kaifuku Majutsushi, Suterareta Saki de Saikyou no Shinryuu wo Fukkatsu Sasete Shimau ~ !, Nito no Taidana Isekai Shoukougun, Tensei Shitara Ken Deshita, Isekai Shikkaku, Kajiya De Hajimeru Isekai Slow Life, and Isekai Mokushiroku Mynoghra, as day-one favorites. The second these things drop, i am all over them and they have yet to disappoint. The other titles i just mentioned are both excellent and worth a read but they have a few chapters on Eiyuu. My darling fantasy romance is only four chapters in but it’s split into parts, so that count is more realistically at six or seven. We’re still waiting on part two of chapter four. I hate when they do that but it does keep you on edge for however long it takes for an update. Reincarnated • The Hero Marries the Sage ~After Becoming Engaged to a Former Rival, We Became the Strongest Couple~ is an exceptional read and i highly recommend giving it a shot. You won’t be disappointed!

[hanaonesflower]

Vent of the day: online dating

For me, e-dating has been second nature ever since I was “mature” enough to have a boyfriend. You see, I dated my first boyfriend at the ripe age of 15 and I met him on a form of social media. (We were both the same age don’t worry). However, I had really strict parents so seeing him without having to be sneaky was nearly impossible, no it WAS impossible.

Him and I dated for almost one year, almost completely virtual. Since we went to different schools and seeing each other outside of it was so difficult. We broke up one month before what could have been our one year anniversary. I thought it was the best decision to make because we essentially couldn’t see each other and a relationship that was strictly online wasn’t my thing.

Fast forward to about 2 years later when I met my second boyfriend. I was 18 at the time and he was 19, I had met him on Tinder and begrudgingly having to lie about how we met to my parents. At this time, they have already loosen up around the idea of me dating this guy but still set a lot of limits on me. He, however, was quite the opposite of me and had more freedom than I did.

We broke up after 15 months, and I’m glad we did.

A year later I met what I called my situation on Tinder as well, we spoke primarily online and did set up a day to meet in person… but that day never came. A lot of details went into why we didn’t meet and also why we no longer spoke after that day but I’m not going to get into that.

Then, another year goes by and I met someone else on Hinge. This person was rather interesting, he gave me all and everything I could have wanted at the time, and really showed me how much I was loved and cared for. I was truly receiving the princess treatment. I vented to him about my past traumas and why my perceptions are the way they are because of said traumas. He sympathized with them, but managed to use my long texts of trauma as an instruction manual. Because, the day that everyone dreads coming, he told me he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. A part of me felt that it was coming, but the prior knowledge didn’t make it hurt any less. He insisted that we stayed friends but I needed space from him since at this point I’ve already liked him too much to remain friends without completely destroying my mental health. I kept a distance from him for 2 months before I completely broke down on the phone, crying about how much I missed him in a drunken haze that I could barely recall now. I was in Mexico and have had too much to drink that day.

What he said to me in that moment will always stay with me. He said “it’s already been 2 months, and you’re still on it?”

It’s heartbreaking enough to know that we could never date, it was Earth shattering to know that all he did for me was nothing but a facade. Maybe I’m just being sensitive, you could even call me naive and dumb for allowing him to do this to me but hindsight is 20/20.

I left it as is and decided to never speak to him again regardless of whether there was an emergency. Then a few months later he snapped me a pic of him and talking about how he had been hitting on girls in cafes that he went to. Something really boiled inside of me that day that I decided to block him on everything without any explanation or announcement. I just did it. And I think I was at the end of the ropes because doing so came so easily to me. Imagine someone say they weren’t ready to be with you but went out of their way to be with someone else. There were many other factors that went into why we got to that point in the first place but this would be over 10k words long.

Eventually I gave up on finding anyone on dating apps. This doesn’t go to say that dating apps completely suck, I know people who have had many successes on dating apps and I’m happy for them, but it’s bleak for me. I’ve never, in my life, been able to form a romantic connection with someone in person. There are things I need to reevaluate about myself as person.

I can’t find it in myself to even speak to someone anymore. These dating apps drained the life out of me, and it made me question a lot of things, most of it about myself. Dating apps have done a really good job at tanking my self esteem and raising self doubts and doubled down on my insecurities.

I hope that I won’t need to go back on those godforsaken dating apps anymore and will be able to make connections with someone irl. Pray for me yll, it ain’t gonna be easy.

[bmaxwell]

My Soundtrack of Life 3 of 3

fun - The Gambler

About a year later I met my wife. She’s the love of my life, she’s my best friend, it’s sappy and corny as hell and this is our song.  As much as I feel like I’ve squandered a lot of my time and made some poor choices, I won the lottery where love is concerned. I never dreamed it could happen.

It’s called The Gambler because this is why we date people, this is why we find people and fall in love and lose people and experience all the wonder and joy and suffering that comes with putting yourself out there. These are the stakes.

Fun has an authenticity that I am in love with.

Rush - Headlong Flight

This one is a stand-in for every time I’ve been to a concert and there’s that one song, that one moment. There’s almost always a song I didn’t know very well, or didn’t much care for that stands out when I see it live. You Are by Pearl Jam, Over the Electric Grapevine by Primus, Death of a Drag Queen by Sponge, and Ashes in Your Mouth by Megadeth all come immediately to mind.

My most recent example is Headlong Flight from the first time I saw Rush. There’s a short, rapid little guitar buildup near the end of the song. For me, it was one of those moments where I sort of stepped outside of myself and took it all in. I looked at the lights, the crowd around me, and just smiled and savored all the details, just being alive and present at that particular place and time. Not a favorite song going into the show, that moment stuck with me.

Foo Fighters - Over and Out*

Our first child slept through the night on their first day home from the hospital. Out second child did not sleep for more than two hours at a time for his first six months. It was harrowing, being exhausted absolutely always.

At some point in this stretch, I decided to put the Foo Fighters Skin & Bones Live DVD on the TV for the first time. I’m a casual fan of the band at best, so I don’t know most of the songs. This song, however, hit me HARD that first time I heard it. All the stress and exhaustion and worry I’d been carrying around all came pouring out. The chorus of Are you there? Do you read me? Are you there? I don’t feel you anymore. hit especially hard. I could feel the connection with my partner waning as we didn’t have anything left after basic day to day functions and caring for our newborn.

Tom Waits - Time

When you have a newborn that won’t sleep, you get desperate to soothe them. Nothing is off the table. Singing to a baby might not be a stretch for most people but, well, it is for me. I don’t know why I went with this song, but his voice is deep and comforting, and it’s a range I can pull off. 

This became my go-to lullaby song whenever I needed one. 

Steven Wilson Pariah

This song sums up my depression so incredibly well. 

So the day will begin again Take comfort from me It’s up to you now You’re still here and you’ll dig in again That’s comfort to you It’s up to you now

So many days, all I could do was to take solace in the fact that, even if I can’t handle life today, I’ll take another run at it tomorrow. Steven Wilson’s music often makes me feel seen in a way that almost never happens. 

This song brings tears to my eyes not because of what I am going through, but because of what I have gone through. I’m in a better place these days than I had been for many years. Depression is something you manage, not something you cure. And I know that when I have to wrestle with it again, my family and friends will be there for me. I’m still here and I’ll dig in again.

*Seeing Dave and Taylor’s legs tapping in sync in this performance makes me both happy and sad 

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

@dennisboobs oh yes yes your tags are always astounding spot on additions!

God, I love all your tags. That box, that box, it’s about getting out of that box, cats in the wall, cats in boxes, schrodinger’s Always Sunny. I had a different post I’d been struggling to get into words about Always Sunny being about identity and the struggle to find one’s own when it’s so inherently tied with/influenced by that of others or what they think others perceive/expect/want their identity to be, especially after so long of seeing one aspect of them, being in that box. Mac’s identity tied with his father’s, trying and failing to be the perfect son he always wanted, his style, his aggression, his prejudice and repression. Dennis and Dee’s identities tied to their own parents’ neglect and abuse, one striving for this perfection that never was and the other striving to be an actress where she’s someone else anyone else. Charlie tied to Frank and the fact he never knew his dad. Mac and Dennis tied to each other, two halves of a whole but who are they on their own, so willing to change to please others until they’re not, and in that way how they’re all so intertwined with each other, Dennis and dee as twins, Charlie and frank as the gruesome twosome, Mac and Dennis as something more, etc. etc. Not going into major details now because you know!

Identity tied to their pasts, their traumas, their misconceptions, identities never fully being allowed to come to the surface except in brief glimpses, the masks they wear becoming just as much a part of them as what’s underneath because of just how little they’re able to take it off, in their roles they’ve been almost pushed into and playing for so long, to change or break the mould feels like breaking a part of themselves and what they built. (If we don’t open the box, the cat is either dead or alive but once it’s opened, there’s the possibility of facing the fact it’s dead for sure... but again what if it’s not, what if there’s something alive and ready to break out in there and we’re keeping it smothered. Open the damn box.)

Always Sunny being or rather becoming about the fluidity of identity and how things can change drastically over the years while still staying the same, and it doesn’t have to be a give and take, but sometimes it does, sometimes you have to make a change in order to move forward but “You're still you! You've always been you!” And legit as I was typing this, @sunnykeysmash just came out with an incredibly brilliant and much more articulate and detailed essay about how these themes of identity also tie into RCG’s feelings about the direction of the show as a whole, among so many other genius observations about the later seasons that are just !!!! I can’t really put my own thoughts into words perfectly rn so I’m gonna stop typing just because thinking about this show is genuinely making me ill, I’m leaning against a wall like:

Was thinking about Dennis coming home after North Dakota, and thinking about what if Mandy knows, what if Mandy is the only one who knows? I mean really knows like not just deeply suspects from all the skirting around, but what if Mandy is the only one Dennis was able to open up with/admit his real feelings about Mac to or even less specifically about anything to, because she’s not entrenched in everything the gang is, she’s from such a different world that on some level she’s got this sense of unrealness about her to Dennis, one that lets him feel like in contrast he can be more real himself to make up for that, because who else is gonna know?

Then was thinking about how each time when Dennis is away from the gang, as this unrealness seems to persist, he tends to let his guard down, be more vulnerable, more unsure, he slips into different roles, as if trying to figure himself out for the first time, figure out who he is outside the gang and everything its history entails, but what if when in ND, after everything with Mac, he did figure himself out, and maybe being with Mandy helps him see that and it’s hard for her not to see it too, see how he doesn’t belong there/can’t belong there, so she lets him go, but he was already too deep in the role, like a method actor gone too far, and now that he’s back, now that he’s not in that particular role but can’t exactly just happily return to his old role in the gang either, he’s trying to reconcile every role he’s ever had/created for himself within him throughout the years and cycle through them, trying desperately to see if any still fit, peeling away all the layers and masks he’s tried to get other people to see him as, (cold/emotionless, killer, womanizer, god, etc.)—all roles he’s also tried to see himself as so as to reason away and not face his traumas head on—until finally laid bare underneath is the real Dennis, the one he’s been keeping hidden for so long except in little glimpses when his grip on control slipped, the one that is sensitive and terrified and feels too much and too little, and doesn’t always understand why, the one who loves his friends, loves Mac, and just wants that in return, the one who’s been playing so many different roles for so long he’s almost forgotten what it’s like not to play one.

Like, the Dennis we start to see as the seasons go on is not Dennis the person, it’s Dennis the character, the one he’s created for himself and others have inadvertently created for him, the “I just wanted to live up to everyone’s expectations of me” result of his mother instilling this burning necessity to be this perfect golden boy in him, his father never letting him be emotionally open/trying to toughen him up by making sure he always expects the worst and just has to suck it up, Mrs. Klinksy forcing him to recontextualize his assault as more of a conquest of something he wanted on his part rather than what it was, etc, etc, so he becomes a golden god, he becomes a hardened shell that doesn’t let his feelings get to him, he becomes the guy who controls the women and never lets them control him because they’ve convinced him this is who he is, who he’s always been, right? *wavering* Right? And he tries so hard to convince everyone else, digging himself deeper and deeper into this persona no matter how ill fitting, (going further into the wall), letting this flanderization of anger and rage and emptiness and a scary, almost dangerous edge overtake him until even the one person who’s supposed to see the real him (because I know you, man) starts to fall for the mask, too. And he realizes he doesn’t want to play this role anymore, he never did, but the mask is stuck... the mask is stuck and no one even knows he’s wearing it.

[tuulikannel]

Akabane Karma in the official character book, p. 3-4 translation

(pages 1-2)

Here’s the last two pages for you! In this part, some of my translations are very different from the other older translation. The other one’s via Chinese, though, so that might of course cause some issues. I’m relatively certain of most of my translations, though there are baffling parts too. It’s perfectly possible (if not likely) that I have some mistakes here too. If you spot anything, please don’t hesitate to tell me!

Also, a reminder, this book came out after vol. 13, which reaches up to the school festival. So in a sense, parts of this is old info. 

Karma behind the scenes

As he is quite aloof, Karma is perceived as a little unapproachable by everyone. What kind of connections in the class does someone like him have…?!

 

Shiota Nagisa (addressed as Nagisa-kun) [though we do know this changes later]

They became close during the first year, but after the suspension in the second year they became a bit estranged.* Karma’s home is strange due to his parents’ hobbies, and Nagisa is the only one who has seen it.

[*That’s what it says, but… I thought they were estranged already before the suspension. And it was by Karma’s choice… but at this point in the manga we haven’t yet learned about that, so perhaps either Matsui hadn’t thought out all the details yet, or then he didn’t want to reveal it to the readers quite yet.]

Terasaka Ryouma (addressed as Terasaka)

With Terasaka, it’s easy to know what’ll come out when you poke him, as if you were holding him on your palm. Resonates from being hit, and the sturdiness is great.

Okuda Manami (addressed as Okuda-san)

Karma finds Okuda the kind of girl you can talk with about anything. She is also strangely not scared, which removes Karma’s wariness and the walls between them.

Isogai Yuuma (addressed as Isogai)

Isogai is worried about the dangerous Karma and voices it, but Karma himself is bad with the kind of kindness he shows.

Kanzaki Yukiko (addressed as Kanzaki-san)

Unexpectedly: gamer Karma. Having confidence that he can do almost anything better than others, one day he plays against Kanzaki who is said to be a master, but he doesn’t win.

Sugaya Sousuke (addressed as Sugaya)

Karma is still a little feared within the E class. Therefore, there are many classmates, like Sugaya, who would want to make retorts and tease him, but who take a step back.

Nakamura Rio (addressed as Nakamura)

They have conversations daily, at random places. They’re both vulgar and intelligent, and the conversations might move from extortion to world economics in three seconds.

Sugino Tomohito (addressed as Sugino)

Karma is introduced to many friends through Nagisa. With Sugino’s straightforward sporty character, even the hotblooded Karma speaks normally with the Nagisa & Sugino set. 

Asano Gakushuu (addressed as Asano-kun)

The exchange of cutting remarks is for them a declaration of fighting intent. There isn’t any indication they’d become friends, but they are both competitive, hate to lose and they also can get themselves stirred up, so they are perfect rivals.

Matsui-sensei's behind the scenes data

His parents are free spirits who’ve made a killing in day trade. They spend most of the year away from home, traveling. “Do it as soon as you think it” and “Anything goes as long as you don’t bend the core” are their pet sayings. They might not be at home, but they’re pronouncedly reflected in Karma’s personality.

[The manga panel is from where he says he likes his name and that sometimes children inherit their parents’ weird tastes.]

It might be weird to describe his parents’ personalities like this, but it’s solidly hereditary.

[lower left] Because he is provocative, quick to resort to violence, and the daily fights don’t cease, he is wary like a wild animal. His usual aloof attitude is to hide his wariness and also to keep the opponent from becoming wary.

[lower right] Karma makes tenuki* moves in assassination training in order to reach Karasuma’s weak spot. But Karasuma is better than that!

*tenuki, a move which is not a direct counter to the opponent’s last move​.

[And, done! Huh. This was actually pretty hard at times. ^^;; As I said, feel free to correct any mistakes you might spot. That includes, btw, also ones with English.]

(masterlist of my translations)