#almost a month later i finally finished the second set lmao

[queerplatonic-sculder]

The Walking Dead: Dead City

↳ S1E2: Who's There?

[kaq3yma]

MIDNIGHT ENCOUNTER! sakura haruka.

syn: the royal princess nightly-meet up with an unknown man.

୨୧ qeena brief note: ello fellow readers and mootsies, i finally got to wrap up my vamp!sakura haruka x royal princess!reader fic yaeyyy, i'm happy i successfully finish a 4.6k words fic (in almost a month) lol i'm not built for this clearly but still a big special thank you to @flowerloves for this request. ofc it's a x reader fic but this was made specifically for you obvi and i love you sm, bae ur so understanding ilyyyy! i promised i will get this done in a week somehow but got caught up with assignments, tests and society club soooo lol i'm not a fast-adapter BUT i hope everyone enjoy this fic even though it's ass at some parts (especially the confession part) lmao i swear i did my best but lemme know what you guys think, that's all thank you, i love you, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated and happy reading xoxo 🍡

special tags: @flowerloves, @hanaeriin, @reapkusho, @isadollie, @kyuujo, @sommii, @amaderika

The night breeze sways in the middle of the night, carrying scents of the open ocean and waft pass the air gently. The faint caws and rattles of crows in the distance is the only noise you heard for the past ten minutes aside from your own square heels clicking noise against the shattered concrete pavements.

As you look back, the image of your castle almost fade into the background, growing daintier as you walk further inside the woods. It's a long walk for you, with unsure destination to reach, you keep walking until you can barely to.

You look for a place to sit down, and rest, or presumably to enjoy the book you've been cradling in your hands for the past minutes. Swaying your head left and right to find a suitable spot you can sit down on until suddenly you heard a rustling noise came from behind a bush. Gulping down a huge lump stucking in your throat, you drag your feet backwards to make a run in case whatever creature is in that bush that decides to cause a chaos, you'll have time to run but— a white bunny hop from the small space in between the bush and make its presence known. You almost jump in surprise, chuckling when the brainless creature tilt its head at you.

You watch the animal cradle his neck to the side before hopping away. Hoping to catch and bring the animal home with you, you ran after it only to lost it a few seconds later "Oh, no..." You look around, realizing you're no longer on your path. No concrete pavements beneath your feet but muddy textured ground. You grip the book you have in your hands, starting to feel scared. Why do you think going out in the middle of the night is a good idea again?

Not wanting to make the worse situation anymore worst than it can get, you came to a conclusion to just walk back where you came from, at least back where you believe you came from. You walk mindlessly towards directions you assumed was right, unaware you're walking deeper into the forest as the shadow beneath the trees darken casting an even longer shadow across the forest floor.

You take a deep breath, taking long strides hoping you would just escape this woods what seems like an endless maze. Tears set afoot beneath your eyelines and rush across your cheeks but you won't allow your emotions to take over just yet. You jog and jog with sweats starting to prominently appear on your face until you halt in your rushing steps.

A loud thunder burgles from behind a massive tree and you slowly drag your feet to inspect. The sight before you elicit a small gasp past your open lips. What seem like a serene oasis site in the middle of nowhere, its beauty strikes in contrast to the arid surroundings. Crystal clear water glimmer under the warm moonlight, softly rippling as a gentle breeze past through. What you felt a moment ago sink and disappear together with the welcoming passing air. Now, all that you feel mid centre of your heart, and in the depth of your tummy is tranquil and peace.

Slowly, you walk forward and sat by the cool water, carefully dipping your feet into the pool, wheezing at the cold touch of the inviting dew. You didn't realize how much time had passed, it's like you've only been there for a couple of moments but before long, you skim through the last page of the book you just started. Night seem to darken even further, and only then realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You are still lost. No matter how any more beautiful this place could get, you're still lost and in need to return home.

Sounds of footsteps scuff against the ground behind you cause you to jump in fear, knowing that whoever it was behind you, is most definitely not an animal but something else, worse, other people! "Please don't—"

"What are you doing here?"

You turn around, surprised to see a man, stood tall in his white ruffled shirt with dark trousers fit snugly and fall straight down. His hair, now that you grasped, is in dual color of black and white, neatly slicked showing off his flawless temple — well, not so flawless considering his face is batter up with bruises and deep gushes.

You look into his eyes, your own waver in fear of not knowing what to respond "I— I was—"

"This place is mine. You shouldn't be here."

You thrust your head down, fearful for your own safety. No matter how attractive the stranger is, the fact that they're a stranger and unknown to you is a danger as it is. You fiddle with the book in your hands, stuttering a sentence to form "I'm lost. I don't know how to get out of this place."

Instead of lunging at you like a beasty animal, you hear him gruff incoherently to himself "If I able to get you out, will you leave quietly?" Jerking your head up and down aggressively, you thank him profusely with a smile. He look away, fishing his hands under the front pockets of his trouser "Let's go, then." You plod behind the male, eyes glue to his back as he guide you out of the place.

"You're a princess, right?" That results you to stop on your movements, skeptic as to how did he know. He shrugs "I have my way." Huh...?

He let out a fake cough, gesturing you forward "There." You look up, relieved to catch a glimpse of your castle "Thank you!" Beaming, you look at him with a smile and chuckling in relief. However, once again, he look away.

"I'm going, be safe." With that, he walk back into the woods, vogue silhouette dissipate like snowflake in an ocean.

Sakura turn around just before you walk down the road and disappear from his sight. He look away, taking long strides back to where he belongs. However, further he went, the thought of you doesn't melt from his mind, the sight of your smile, not once but twice cause his stomach to flip, an unknown feeling rippled through his belly making his face go hot.

The next morning, you wakes up in bed, feeling tired and throbbing pain aches from below your thighs. It must have been the aftermath of your constant walking the night before. The door of your chamber burst open and came in the head of your maid. The old lady walk and stand beside you, helping you putting on a pair of flat slippers and guide you to behind the veil where you're able to clean your body using clean water and get ready. She get you your usual high-waisted skirt that reaches and fall to your ankles and a light color blouse which are slightly puff and tuck it in under your skirt and finally, she help you putting on another set of square heels and help adorning your hair "Your father and Her Majesty is waiting in the dining room along with Prince Choji."

The mention of your spoiled step-baby-brother and step-mother earn an eyeroll but you hum, allowing yourself out of your room and steps into the dining room. Your father, his Majesty sit at the other end of the table with his wife and son beside him on the left.

You look down, taking a quick walk and sit beside him on the right, facing Choji. The small feast begin but none of you said a word. For the rest of breakfast, the only noise made is the faint clanking sound of forks and knife against the plates.

You got up after you're done, bowing down and bidding good bye to his Majesty until he said; "What about to your Mother?" You stopped in your track, hands stiffled and face tight. You didn't dare look back but you said one thing, clear and loud "Her Majesty is not my mother. She's your wife."

You heard him slam his on the table, smashing his wine cup on the process and yell at you to get back but you didn't, and instead you pick up your pace and run to your room. After the echoing slam of the door, silence deafened inside your chamber. The dimmed-lighted room cloud over like a passing rain cloud, the once cheery room fill with laughters and bedtime stories now cramped with defeaning silence and darkness. You sat down on your bed, feeling as the soft mattress dip at your gentle force.

Sighing, you pick up that small frame from your nightstand desk. The image of your lovely mother dressed in appealing red dress cradling you in your light green colored dress. Your father beside her, one finger lock against your small grip. All are smiling, genuine and raw with emotions for their first complete family picture.

She shouldn't have die... If only they was quick enough, if only your father was quick enough to find the cure, your mother won't have to die. She'd still be here, and there won't be enough space in the picture for your step-mother and his son to waltz into.

You plop onto your bed, hang the frame in between your chest and hug it tightly. Closing your eyes, you hope for sleep and last night exhaustion to consume you.

Perplexed, confused and in disbelief by your own behavior to sneak out the castle once again, however this time prepared with a small map inside your pocket in case you got lost like last night and a lamp, lit enough you can make out the ground a few small inches before you.

Walking around the same path, you stop at a familiar bush you saw the bunny hop from, grinning to yourself as you think you're near. You bring out the map but only then you grasp no such thing as an oasis is mentioned in the map. You look around, determined to make it to the place you've been last night and then you heard that voice, that familiar husky voice "I told you to leave, didn't I?"

You turn around, facing the man whom helped you last night "I wanted to visit that place again!" Surprised by your sudden exclamation, he look at you with a quirk brow "That place is mine, not yours to loiter around."

You huff "This is a free land, not yours to claim." He grumbled under his breath, tucking his neat hair in between his locks and look at you "... Me..."

Now, it's your turn to quirk your brow at him "I can't hear you...!"

"I said, follow me." He pocketed his hand beneath his pocket and walk forward, purposely leaving the cemented path to mingle on an unfamiliar walk, presumably to the place.

"What's your name?" He didn't stop in his tracks nor did he said anything, a respond or something "Hello—"

"Sakura Haruka. You are that princess, right? Your Father rule Shishitoren." The sudden unneeded mention of your father make you groan in annoyance "Yes. How do you know?" He shrugs, stopping in his tracks "Is it not obvious?" What does he meant by that? He lift the leaves curtains in front of him, revealing the same place you've been dying to be at since this morning.

A small smile crept to your face, grinning and thank him for bringing you back here. A furious red hue spread across his cheek, caressing his paled complexion. After a moment, you sat down by the pond, legs dip into the the water. Sakura watch you from afar, his expression unreadable.

"Are you going to keep staring? Say something if you have anything to ask." He grin, showing off his pearly whites. He trudge beside you, but not to dip his legs as he just sat down, legs thrown into a criss-cross. You look at him from beside, your own eyes graze over every details of his feature, his pointy noise scratch and wounded, the side of his chin bruised and a deep wound gush on his cheek "How come you're more badly wounded than last night? Do you always fight?" He hiss in return of your words, clearly unappreciative of what you just said.

However, unlike how any other humans would react, he didn't react to your pressings on his wound, instead when your cold finger brush against his skin "I don't have anything but..." You pull a piece of napkin from the beneath of your gown pocket and dip it whole into the water "I can at least clean them." Sakura lean away, not very much fond of the idea at which you sighed, pulling him forward "Relax, you should at least clean it."

Starting with the long cut on his cheek, you dab the wet napkin over the lines to clean dried blood, patting the napkin to his wound to at least clean it. Yes, you might have not notice your close proximity since you're so immense on the taking care of the wound but he has. Sakura can make out the way your lashes blink as you close your eyes to regain focus on your vision. The way it hugs your cheeks, the slightest details he can see now because you're so up close.

Finally you look up but just as you did, your nose touches. It cause him to blush and you to flinch. You almost fall back in the water but he caught you just in time and pull you "Careful, moron!"

Dazed. Fixed. You are unable to say anything for a few seconds, blinking away flusteration. Regaining your composure, you cough out and look away. Oh, why is everywhere burning?!

"You should tend them properly. Make sure to bandage it up." He look at you, perplexed. You point with your finger to your own face "The wounds. You need to take care of it." It's a silly word, indeed is. A silly, meaningless word of concern but why is his heart is beating. So loudly he thanked the sounds around him for masking it.

This is a first for Sakura. The first he felt like this in hundreds years, perhaps, a thousand. Not once, never once did he feel like this, how can a stopped-beating heart thump anyway? Absurd! There must be some sort of mistake, that's right. A mistake. A coincidence that bound to happened.

The night fell and the day came. It's a repetitive motion for a month since he met you. That mistake. It turns out it's not so much of a mistake at all. Love. At least, that's what his friend, Nirei, told him.

Love... What a strange emotion.

Tonight, like any other nights, he wait by the oasis, waiting for you, like a shining beacon to come and just be here already. Sakura heard footsteps, familiar footsteps of your heels arriving. The leaves curtain lift and drop when you came, like an unfamiliar sunlight, you shone the place loom with darkness and shadow for him.

You greet him, and in your hands there's another book for you to read together. You stopped in your track, tilt your head and give him a strange look "You've been fighting again, have you?" The male huff, crossing his hands together.

You climb the rock he's sitting on, site your place beside him and bring that same napkin you bring every night "You really should stop getting into fights, you know?" You scolded to which he only scoff and laugh at. As always, whatever you say went to his right ear and slip to his left, whiff into the air.

"Haru, I'm serious..." That made him stop, he grunt something incoherent in your ears but you questioned no more, getting the hint that maybe, he finally decided to listen.

"I got this book from our library today. Want to read it together?" Yeah, how can he ever deny your request? Nodding his head, you immediately begin skimming through the pages to start reading.

"Haru." You suddenly mentioned in between your reading and he hum, allowing you to begin again "Where do you live? You never tell me where you live." He freeze, not knowing how to answer your question. Right, you didn't know. About his being, his true beings. Who he is, what he is. How could he tell you? Would you... Would you look at him the same...?

"—Ru. Haruka." He flinches, giving you an unreadable expression. Reluctantly, he shake his head, a silent plea for you to stop mentioning whatever you just mentioned.

You wanted to say something but bite it back, hum in understanding and said nothing. He slipped this once but he can't be so sure next time. Sooner or later, if he truly cares, he needs to tell you.

And it's been a week since then, you stopped coming for a while as you're busy preparing for a banquet your father are hosting for his fellow friends. You didn't quite get to mention it to Sakura as it has been rather a last-minute plan. It makes you wonder if he ever look out for you during the past days.

Whilst you're helping your step-brother picking a suitable attire for the night, you subconsciously replay to your conversation the previous nights. Up until today, you are still wondering, interest to know where he live. He knows where you live so it's only fair that you do to. What is he so hesitant about anyway?

The night resume, the small banquet lit the night and laughters fill the entire ballroom. Everyone is either engaging with each other or indulging themselves and as for you and Choji, it's always the latter.

When your father, his wife and his friends arrived at your table, everyone is obliged to be silent and let them have the talking. You didn't quite intrigued to hear whatever they're yacking about, well, not until your step-mother mention marriage. It's only fair or you, now officially nineteen, a damsel in distress, and also the next one in line to be married.

You hope, hope to dear God your father would say something, anything to drop the topic but all you can see he's doing was nodding his head. Almost dropping your utensils, you thrash your head in displeased. Both your father and his wife, along with the other parties turn to you, shocked.

"I'm not getting married." You stood up but your father words caught you in your trance "You leave, you mustn't come back." Your step-mother look in between you and your father, fearful expression contorts on her face.

"Must you do this, Father? Forcing me into marriage with someone I barely knew?" You hear him grunts, motioning for you to take your seat. At this point, hot tears has gathered and if only Choji didn't secretly hold your hand in reassurance, you would've flipped out.

That's right, you have to learn to control your temper. There's so many people tonight in this room, you wouldn't want to embarrass yourself and be label as the 'disgrace to royalty'.

Endured a painful hours long of discussing, you finally excused yourself after they did. Strutting back to your room, you locked the door behind you and cries silently. All you ever wanted, at least right now at this moment, is the warmth of your mother.

You locked yourself away for the entire night, and not once did you give away your ego when your father knocked on your chamber door multiple times moments ago. When the clock strikes twelve, when the shadow aligns, you carefully make your way out of your room. The entire castle is pitched black, unable to see, you discreetly bring a lamp with you.

The raw wind blows on your face when the door opens. Nobody is around and silence is the sole melody plays throughout your journey to the woods. You hope you can find him. You need to find him.

As soon as you arrived, a vogue silhouette of a familiar someone greet you by the rock. He's slouching, eyes closed with a subtle troubled expression on his face. You tip-toed near him as quiet as possible, wish to surprise him when all of a sudden "I know you're here."

You yelped, almost throw the lamp off if not for him to catch it on time. He laughs at your reaction, he won't tell but he find it somehow endearing how you look so surprised and shocked. Sakura soft laughter died down when he look into your eyes, your usual bright eyes and slightly, very slightly dull. Your cheeks is red as we as the tip of your nose. It's like you've been crying for hours long.

"What happened?" You smiled, telling him it's nothing and that you are just tired. Sakura was usually dismissive, he rarely feel a thing so he never bother to check up on others but, the sight of your dried-teary face. Surprisingly enough, it make his heart ache. If that was possible, of course... "You are not tired. You cried."

You thought washing your face is enough to cleanse the evidence but it seems not. You take a sit beside him, a visible long sighed escaped past your open lips.

"My Father forced me to marry..." He lift his head up, tracing your skin with his eyes "That so..." Sakura seem to have not notice it but you're starting to look back, you stared back at him as he continues to stare mindlessly. He only realized when he move his eyes upwards and you stare back at him, smiling but bewildered.

Normally, he would freak out, turn his head away but not now, he keep staring into your eyes. A furious red creep up to his cheeks and he can hear your heartbeat thumping loudly against his ears. On impulse, he bring his hand forward, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. His skin make touch to yours and it send a chill down your spine. His hands feel cold, inhumanly cold.

He cup your cheek using one hand, gently bring your face forward as he too, leans in and kiss you. His lips is cold too, too cold but it's not making you uncomfortable. You return his kiss with a small sigh of relief. Being this close with him for the first time ever, you can make out a faint mint smell radiate in the air. Sakura move his hand down to your waist, pulling you gently closer to him as the world outside seemed to fade into the background.

When you break of the kiss, Sakura finally look away, coughing out nothing in embarrassment "I... There's something I need to tell you but I'll tell you tomorrow." He look into your eyes, silently pleading "Can you come again?" Smiling at him oh-so brightly, you nod your head in agreement.

"You cannot do this to me!"

"Yes, I can. Especially when you misbehaved like this and sneak out the castle every night!" The guards push you in and throw you on the ground "Reflect what you've done and until then, you will stay in your room." Getting up, you storm to the door only for it to close before you and your father lock it from outside.

Planting your ear on the door, you can hear their quiet pleas, both your step-mother and step-brother, begging him to unlock the door. He said nothing and his large footsteps descend downstairs. You tries to take a deep breath, voice breaking in silence "Don't do this to me, please..."

It's been hours, perhaps a day, and during that time, you slouched against the door, wiping what you thought was the last tears only for a few to rush suit. It's a struggle to regain composure but when you heard footsteps outside the door followed with small steps of a certain someone's skipping, you got up slowly.

"Princess..." It's her voice, the voice of someone you always believed was vile and pretentious. The door creaks and gently push open.

You saw the Queen peeking behind the door, scared she'll get caught but Choji stood there, both hands on his waist as if he was proud to help, to rescue you. You turn to both of them, a silent gratitude expression plastered across your face "I—"

The Queen put both hands on your shoulders, crouch down eye-level "We both got many untold things to share so go, and come back fast. We'll be waiting..." She hope to share a quick hug but she's aware it's not yet a good time so she watch you leave, running downstairs and escape the castle.

You race to the forest, the sun barely set but it's almost dark. The weather is clouded over and it seems like it's about to rain. Pick your dress over your ankles, you hurry, praying to meet him at the place. Hurriedly lift the curtains, your vision immediately drawn to a familiar man. He wear what you remembered he wore the first time you both met. The white ruffled shirt and his signature dark trouser "Haru..." You didn't quite make out his face but you can tell it's scrunched, like a hurtful look. Why would he look at you with such look, you wonder...

"Where were you? We were supposed to meet yesterday!"

"...I waited."

You clutch the bottom of your dress, pained and frustrated "I'm sorry, it won't happen again." You make a move, walking towards him and slowly begin to put your distance to a closure "You said there's something you'd like to tell me. Can you tell now?"

His whole body tensed, Sakura jerk his head aside with a bitter look still on his face "Moron, what makes you think I forgive you so easily—"

"Haru, I promise I have my reason. I promise I will tell you after you do." It's not short, nor is it easy to make him spill whatever on his mind but he's determined to tell you everything. Gently and carefully, he pick your hand up, that inhumanly cold hand of his brush against your much warmer ones.

"Would you... Would you leave me if I'm not who you thought I was?"

"Haru, what do you—"

"I'm not a good person, there is a truth that dwells within me, a shadow that clings to my very soul. It is a truth so monstrous that I fear you may never look at me the same again."

He wish not to lie to you anymore, let it be the end of your sweet meet, he wish to be honest with you once and for all "I'm not a person, I'm a vampire."

Your eyes widen, a slow gasp elicit past your open lips. To say you are shocked is an understatement, you are beyond speechless, nearly forgetting how to breathe and swallow back "H— Haru..."

"I don't wish for you to stay. You may leave if you wish. I just— I thought I'd be honest for once," He look down and stare into your eyes, and for once, his usually hard stares mix with a tinge of vulnerability "Especially to whom I like."

He close his eyes, unable to see you leave his sight. His fist bawl tight that his paled skin turn out paler. His eyes widen as he accidentally lets out a loud gasp of surprise when you suddenly tackle him into a hug "What are you—"

"If you are to be a monster, the darkness, let me be your light, Haru — as long as I'm not your next victim of thirst..." Giggling, you secure your arms around him, nuzzling your face against his chest. He almost let out a laugh but instead he smile, so big it radiates the sun to shine within the dark night.

"You still owe me an explanation." You hum, quick to take an understanding why the hands of the man you like is always cold, so, very inhumanly cold.

[greencloakedfae]

Thanks for the tag @ferociouslycreativemystery :D

3 non romantic duos:

1. Charles Devereux & Nell Jackson

I mean ofc. They're both such little shits on their own and when they're together they just amplify that in eachother. The way they just mess with eachother, trying to set eachother up for embarrassment when pretending to be Lord and Lady Shankley having tea with the rich people, insulting eachothers wanted posters, and their entire exchange with Nell pretending to be a doctor. They fall into such a great duo almost instantly, and I think that they could have been great emotional support for eachother if we had seen more of their relationship in a second season. All the fanfic for their platonic relationship written holds a special place in my heart.

2. Merlin & Gwen

Merlin will forever be one of my hyperfixations I come back to over and over again, and these two are always so sweet together. I wish we got more of their friendship in later seasons, but early show Merlin and Gwen is so special.

3. Ellie and Joel

The Last of Us will probably always be one of my favourite video game series. Both because the story of both games is absolutely amazing, but also because I played both games and then watched the show with my dad, and being able to enjoy it together was just really fun and sweet.

A ship that might surprise others: I mean I'll happily entertain almost any ship of any type of dynamic so there's probably heaps that fall into this category. But staying on blog theme I've been turning over the chaotic mess that would be a Polly/Nell/Sofia ship in my mind a bit lately, especially Polly/Sofia honestly.

I feel like all dynamics at all stages would be really interesting to play with. Especially cause Polly and Sofia probably represent what they each hate about upperclass society to eachother, with Polly being hyperfocused on romance and more 'frivolous' things, and Sofia on the more business side of social heriachy and such. But they're both women who just want control over their own lives to do what they want rather than what others want them to do, and they're both intelligent and strong women in their own rights, and I feel like they would respect that in eachother once they get past the initial surface level distaste. Then throw in Nell, forced into the middle of this strange situation thanks to the other two's crushes/obsessions/whatever you wanna call it, just trying to get on with her life and not quite sure what to do about the attention (but also not really hating it) (at least from Polly, she probably would not appreciate Sofia's attention, especially at the start lets be real). I'm gonna stop before this post accidentally becomes a headcanon dump, but many thoughts are brewing if anyone is interested lmao.

Last song: Wishing Well by The Oh Hellos. Been on a big The Oh Hellos and The Crane Wives kick the last few months. Just really fun, story telling songs (that are great for applying to fictional characters lmao)

Last film: JOY - The Birth of IVF. Ofc I watched this cause Louisa Harland is in it, but I fully recommend it to anyone. It was such a good movie and a really interesting story, and I definitely think I cried a little. It's streaming on Netflix if you're interested.

Currently reading: I'm so slack at the moment with reading, but I've got a few in my TBR. Mainly the rest of the Lockwood and Co series, but also Celestial Monsters (which is the second book to The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas, and I absolutely loved that book)

Currently watching: Nothing at the moment :/ I've just been rewatching shows lately. But I am planning on finally watching Arcane with a friend whenever I finish my honours application and my current work contract !

Currently consuming: If this is about media, then I'm currently watching minecraft videos from ItsMarloe lmao. I don't have time rn for a minecraft phase and his videos are sweet soooo. If this is about food, then mango :D

Currently craving: uhhh for ADHD to stop kicking my ass and let me write my lit review and finish any of my 4-5 wips

Tagging a few ppl who might be interested, and no pressure ofc. Also feel free to count me as tagging you if you want to do it: @greencheekconure27 @not-a-hawk @arya-skywalker @butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway @broodytinygaycarmilla

[violyane]

Hello Minasan I KNOW I said that I'll be more productive now BUT I had an internship to finish for my uni which took me a month and even though it wasn't very hard I was still too exhausted to do anything after work hours so sorry BUT now, with the last day of the internship remaining, I can turn all my attention to writing again. I decided to set a goal during this holiday and return to work on Master Plan again. I decided I would write every weekend, so hopefully there will be weekly chapter updates on that one. So I highly recommend rereading the first chapter (it's mostly an introduction so you didn't miss much). If you are more curious about what it will be about, I'll try to write down the most important aspects below :)

Kaga x Megami — this fanfiction is about Kagami. It's going to show the development of their relationship through the good and the bad. The story will mainly focus on Kaga; I want to show how his perception of Megami changes over time. There will also be secondary characters who are close to the two of them (student council, science club, club leaders, Midori, etc).

Pre-canon — the story starts before the main story of the game (which means it takes place before Ayano finds her Senpai). In the first chapters, Megami is in her first year and Kaga is in his second year. But the fanfiction will consist of the main story lore… just later :)

From loose chapters to something more intense — since we know almost nothing about the year before the main game story, I decided that the pre-canon chapters will be looser. They will look more like one-shots than a linear story, but their main focus will be to show Kaga's feelings towards Megami and how they change slightly from chapter to chapter. The story will get more intense, I promise ;)

Canon differences — this is actually the main reason why I postponed writing this fic, because I really don't want to mess with the storyline. But you know… If I have to wait an indefinite amount of time for Megami's Week to be released (who is the tenth rival, and we are still at the second one), it would never come to life. So I have to come up with my own ideas for her week. And as much as I don't want to, I have no choice. The pre-canon events will also affect the main story, but I think it would at least be justified, considering we'll be going through them with every chapter.

OOC — I didn't want Kaga and Megami to be out of character, but I think I screwed that up lmao. I think Master Plan will portray Kaga (and maybe Megami too??) as much more romantic than he should be, so I'm sorry about that, but I just can't help myself when it comes to fluff. Mostly I'm changing him from a gremlin and freak to a charming and manipulative gremlin and freak.

Unlikable? — The characters may be a bit unpleasant at first (especially Kaga), but this is necessary for their character development. Basically, I want to show how Kaga sees Megami from "a tool to help him take over Saikou Corp" to "a beautiful and stunning woman living under the shadow of responsibilities and a traumatic past". So in the first chapters, Kaga might seem like a total asshole (which I think is somehow canon??? idk). Saikou Corp / Saikou Family — One of the motifs of the story is Saikou's unhealthy family relationships. It's mostly used to justify why Megami acts so cold and distant. There won't be much about them in the beginning, but they will be important in the canon part of the fic. (I'm already thinking about a sequel that would focus more on Kagami and SaikouCorp/the Siakou family, but that's waayyyyyyy too far in the future, so I won't talk about it now teehee).

I think that's all I have to say. I hope nothing will interrupt my plans as always and I'll finally write the fanfiction that I had planned since 2016 (yes it's been in my mind for 8 years)

See you soon :)

[insectsinsects]

December is always really vivid to me. I hadn't had a memorable July till this year but winter months seem to carry everything and more about a year. Maybe to it's detriment? It's overwhelmed with thoughts and greetings and travel and metamorphosis? I wonder if those guys who don't use the Gregorian calendar are forced to feel it too. Just the majority of people worrying and smiling and maybe it's a regular Tuesday for them?

Anyway 6 Decembers ago was my first Christmas away from home. I'd spent the summer carelessly and I was tired from boarding school. I think I've always been reckless and volatile, though I feel I am perceived as a stable element. Careless summer was spent driving around my hometown with a funny girl who I knew from choir and we were twitter mutuals. The brutal semester was spent with a person who'd patiently sit down with me and share the ways in which they loved physics. And of course, my parents came down and I hadn't been 4 months separated from them but I was used to their presence after 16 years so it was actually nice.

5 Decembers ago I was unknowingly allied with a future friend's enemy O_O She'd sit on my couch in my dorm and played the role of a wise confidant, as an upperclassman. I hope nothing was ever malicious but oomf did come to hate her next semester for fine reasons so? 😭 Her birthday is tomorrow, and I've always remembered that Saggitarian... And honestly by sometime that year I had begun avoiding physics person (on brand..) and I wrote a time capsule email about it (to myself in 5 year's time!) because I didn't have a blog and because I wanted to see if I could possibly get over it (I did!!!) I was a bit afraid of spotty wifi in the Philippines, so I submitted college apps 3 weeks early LMAO Victoria was waiting on a job offer from her boss who we'd come to learn was a little terribe, but that same night she was confirmed and moved to DC a week after we came back from that trip to the motherland.

4 Decembers ago?! I had met the newest crop of friends I was going to make. New York was so fun. Everything endless and memorable. Flying back used to be tough! They only introduced nonstop flights to Oklahoma like last year😑 But I flew out early and away from my beloved suitemates, my terrible roommate, my friends on other floors, classmate-turned-oomf, and so much more.

3 Decembers ago I'd been attending a different university since NYU was being stingy😭 OU actually treated me so well omg and my classes were fun. I guess by December I was wrapping up but I took a class on film music and I would joyously write an essay about some movie music each week and my professor just littered it with happy comments. I think she was glad I read the textbook and was enthused to learn. Also two weeks later, I got my whole head bleached and my hair was pretty long (not really, but Rapunzel-like to ME and probably if you've only ever known me with a bob/wolfbob). Also (2) I was in the Gensh*n pits (I don't want it in the tags...)

2 Decembers ago! My sister and her now husband were engaged and the three of us went on a mini-roadtrip to Dallas 😭 I like Garrett, he's like if a father figure was considerate... and Kathryn's got 17 years of light parentification on her belt ☠️ Garrett and I got XL Blizzards from DQ and almost died finishing them. Oh they also saw me get my roots done :O Barber cut it way too short but maybe it was cute. Junior year was so funny and cute💖 I worked hard and I was back home pretty late due to a stats final (Bombed)

Last December I spent my last week with my last set of randomized roommates and my friends! This was a funny time of year. I did a crazy amount that last week and in many ways it was a bender (Avatar in 4D cocktail☠️) but I do know oomf (yes you!) was the last person I saw. We played Minecraft on your Xbox after I obtained a second controller over Thanksgiving. We drank tall boys? I checked into my flight easily and I went home anxiously. I wonder if I could've seriously applied to school back then (Because it was lowkey not that serious lol) [actually I should be forced to reckon with my tantrums and the many times per week I was like IT'S OVER..] but I hadn't applied to school! And I was nervous to tell my parents that though I was a big investment, I was a failure. I cut my bangs too short on December 18 and hid it under a hat for a week till it grew a little more. I felt weird having red hair in Oklahoma, though it was cool to my contemporaries? My mom was sad knowing how much grief the thoughts were causing me. She told me I should rely on her more and talk to her. It's taken me all of the ensuing year to really be good about that advice. It's just easier to fail myself. I had tunnel vision— the potential for shame was only accompanied by a sense of pity and contempt. I genuinely couldn't believe my family would continue loving me. I drank with my dad so we wouldn't talk about anything real, and I painted with my mother to divert from the chaos.

[aamethyst000]

Dude, im so bored but lazy (may 14,24 3:58pm)

holy hell, i could not get to sleep last night. i was tossing and turning, too cold then too warm. could not get comfy for the life of me. there was an itchy spot in my throat that would not go away, even after drinking half a cup of water. i was so irritated the majority of the night. i think i actually fell asleep at like 6am this morning, finally woke up at ten to two this afternoon. like what the hell, was it because i missed a a whole week of my anti depressants? probably. mostlikey. anyway. it was so irritating that i was debating whether or not i should even get up, just sleep some more. my body made the decision for me, i couldnt go back to sleep even if i tried. so, i got up, took the dogs out and made a pot of coffee. im not going to lie, even through all of that, i currently feel neutral about having a hard time sleeping last night. usually, id be in a bad mood throughout the day but nope, just neutral. no irritation or happiness. that normal? not that id know. me and the family tend to have shit sleep schedule. especially me and the cousins. it makes meeting up with them difficult for the both of us lol as irritating as it is, i think i should stop getting mad at that. they work and have a family now, so yeah priorities are all jumbled which is okay. mine arent set in stone either lmao i dont know how my older cousins did it, learning how to be a functional adult, taking care of your body more, eating healthier and whatnot. im bloody 25, going to be turning 26 in june and i still feel like im 16-17. is that normal as well? does it depend on the individual? i keep saying i should talk to my thereapist but i never call them. or even message them. summer's coming up so i think thattl be the best time for me to start up my thereapy sessions again. i dont even want to do my laundry, how lazy im feeling, like i know i have to get them done at some point before they pile up again but i just dont want to lol like those goddamn dishes i keep avoiding like the plaque. thats the only thing i dont like about adulthood. endless dishes, laundry and house cleaning every other week and every month. oh and the bloody over priced bills that we now have to pay. welp, onto my second cup of coffee and sit around in my room for a bit till i decide to write in my journal again. whenever that will be. typing on my keyboard seems to be stimulating for me, i almost dont want ot stop.could be old habit from being in highschool, writing a long ass page for my essay and presentaions (god i hated those with a fckn PASSION). being able to type now feels nice, i dont have to go on my phone to write my journal entries in now, i love it so much <3 anyway, back to laying about and being lazy :3

3:01am - it looks like that i wont get much sleep tonight again tonight. so im going to have a few puffins and watch some sherlock funny moments, or i just might play orcarina of time, the 3D version of it. to be honest, im on the lookout for almost every verion of sherlock holmes, in books, tv shows, and movies. i think im becoming obsessed lol not that i mind it. im living vicariously through either sherlock or john. i think mostly john lmao i dont think i can be that brilliant at solving crimes and puzzles. heck i can barely solve a fckn math problem without having a breakdown mid way through the paper, thank god i graduated. i will not have to go through that again, unless i get back into coding. which i do not think so, considering that it involves aboslute complicated M A T H. i despise math, if you couldnt tell lmao any who, i think i am done here, i just wanted to come back and finish the last little bit of my journal entry, i may add on to this tomorrow. i havent decided on that just yet. like i keep sayin, i really like typing on my keyboard lol i might get over this later on in my life, just not now. cause my god, it is very stimulating to type~ have a good night/day, my fellow readers~

may 16,24 12:36pm - so i decided to add more to this journal entry, i dont know how much right now but maybe ill decide later on or once i am done writing. today was weird. i woke up late again, at one thirty this time and my mood was okay, manageable. until i went to go eat at like 6pm (first meal) and also cook my mother lunch. at first, i only felt over heated. then i started getting a small pinch like cramp on the right side of my hip, then, i felt more over heated. i was sweating, i felt like i couldnt breathe, my appetite dropped but i forced myself to eat anyway (for obvious reasons), i came back to my room to open my window, take off my shirt and see if that helps me cool off. mind you, that took forever, like, to the point of the voices in my head getting louder and mean. i tried so hard to ignore it that i even whisperd shut up. obviously that didnt help, considering that i started crying afterwards. i think i remember seeing clear images in my head too, pictures of horrible things, for sure, but that was the first time in a long time that has ever happened. not since my very last anxiety attack. that was nearly 3 yeaars ago now, even i thought i was getting better, this feels like i took a couple steps backwards. which did not help with my breakdown. im not going to go into too much detail about what i went through today. just know that this one breakdown took a lot out of me. i almost wanted to ioslate myself the rest of the evening. i didnt, that would have raised way more human interactions than i personally wanted, so i tried to act like i was "normal" i never knew what that really, genuinly looked like so i dont know if i did well in that department. anyway, i marked this event down in my personal journal for my therapist to read over. hopefully that can help me figure out what method could work for me in the future. i get the feeling ill end up sleeping in tomorrow too. because of today, that is all i want to do. is just sleep. its the middle of the week though, got dishes to wash, dinner to prep and an appointment to make later on. i wihs i can take off from here for a week. maybe even 3 months would be fine. go to a cabin in the woods, smoke, read, watch movies, not have to worry about other peoples dishes other than my own, not have to worry about what conversations i have to prepare myself for, how muc enerygy i have to use up even though i do not have enough throughout the day. i just want a break from being an adult. anyway i think that is enough for the night so im going to sign off and rest as much i can. cause that felt like a lot. good night/day, readers

[lunerna21]

Fun and Games (Ruggie Bucchi x MC)

My first post on tumblr in a while lmao.

Been obsessed with Twisted Wonderland for a while, so now I’m finally getting back into writing again. Just no words with how much I love a majority of the  characters in this game 😂 

Anyway! Please enjoy! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fun and Games (Ruggie x Reader) By: Lunerna21 One-Shot

When you started as a student with Grim, things changed. Only a few months have passed since you arrived at Night Raven College. When first entering this unfamiliar world, you were mentally shaken. How would you adjust to this strange, new territory?

You had become close to Ace and Deuce, basically to the point where they were consistently spotted with you and Grim wherever you went. Everyone labeled the two as your "personal bodyguards," but both opposed the nickname. Either way, they had become incredibly close to you. Only, they weren't the only ones.

Friday nights were dedicated to hanging out someplace with everyone. Playing card games until midnight while chomping on some food at Ramshackle Dorm, visiting Mostro Lounge to catch up during the week, and many more. Students of Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia had opened up to you after some time together.

You astonished yourself with how everyone got along with you. Part of you feared you wouldn't mesh well with numerous robust characters. Each marked a remarkable impression on you, seeing many of them almost daily.

One particular individual stood out from the rest.

This weekend wasn't any different. As usual, you hosted a mini get-together, and it wasn't anything to worry about. That was different. Tonight, you would be anticipating Ruggie Bucchi. Ruggie was usually preoccupied with working random shifts at various jobs, taking care of Leona virtually 24/7. Fortunately, he was able to hang out with everyone tonight. With how much work was given this week, everyone desperately needed to wind down.

Why were you concerned? Maybe it had something to do with how you began to feel towards Ruggie. More than a companion or a friend. It was evolving into something undeniably more. He never depended on anyone, solely looking out for himself. His past and what he had to do to survive in Sunset Savana was understandable. Still, it broke your heart how he never spent time unwinding and enjoying his time at NRC.

You shook your head furiously, emptying a bag of chips into a bowl. Grim and the house ghosts ran about, messing with each other as usual. Ugh, you were left to finish getting ready for the night. Setting up the lounge, dusting parts of the house, and putting on another load of laundry. You huffed a heavy sigh, brushed off the counters, and pivoted towards the misfits.

"Would you guys cut it out?! I don't want another fire scare, Grim!" you barked, the jokesters freezing at your annoyed tone.

"Gya! Why're you singling me out?!" Grim challenged stupidly, the Ghosts cackling as they disappeared. You squatted down to his level, ready to yank your hair out.

"First, you almost burned the curtains last time you were messing around!" you exclaimed, implying the damaged ones. Grim backed up slowly, silently acknowledging the incident.

"Second, everyone's gonna be here soon, and we still need to clean! Cmon, you can goof around later. Just give me a hand." You ordered as you stood up and trekked towards the lounge. Grim followed suit, pouting but complying.

"Alright, Alright," he spoke. "Who's even coming over tonight?"

"Deuce, Ace, Jack, and Ruggie," you replied, as your heart leaped when mentioning Ruggie, but Grim failed to notice.

"Ruggie, huh? He's usually working at Mostro Lounge or somewhere else to pick up some cash." 

"Yeah." It was quite a surprise that he agreed to come over. You couldn't recall the last time he wasn't working or taking care of Leona. "Maybe Ruggie wanted a break for once." you presumed.

"Gyahaha! I'm gonna have a rematch with Ace! He cheated the last time we played War. I will be victorious!" He cackled to himself as he helped you push the sofa. Things got heated whenever a wager was on with the three cadets (Deuce Ace and Grim). Last time, Ace had to jump into the frigid waters with only his boxers after losing a simple card game.

Anything could happen this time. You prayed there wouldn't be any damage to the dorm during these charades. Maybe tonight there won't be anything to stress-!

The door was swiftly kicked open and out jumped Ace pointing a finger at Grim. Deuce glowered annoyingly at him while you screeched at the impulsive entrance.

"Bullshit! I won fair and square last time!" He hollered with a large grin. Deuce stepped past Ace, greeting both you and Grim.

"Thanks for having us over tonight, prefect." Deuce grinned. You smiled back, helping them bring in their belongings. Meanwhile, Grim plopped on the couch with Ace, going for the chips in the bowl. You shook your head at Grim, knowing he wouldn't help clean.

"You guys hang out here; I just gotta finish up some other chores," you stated as you strode away. Beginning your ascent up the stairs, you recalled something. You lingered, turning to glare at Grim.

"Oh, and Grim?" you added, "You lose five cans of tuna for next week." you finished with a hint of a threatening tone. Grim froze, feeling a chill run up his fur.

"Got it?"

"O-Okay." He whimpered, then chewed on his chip while ignoring the obnoxious cackling from Ace.

~~~~~  

Once you completed the chores, You tossed on a new sweatshirt and leggings. You stood facing the mirror, playing with your hair a bit. You didn't want to look like a slob in front of everyone. It seemed silly to fret over your appearance, but it was the only thing that clouded your thoughts. 

Yes, you consistently made sure you didn't go anywhere without looking ridiculous. You made sure you didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Either way, you didn't want to look like a slob. 

Especially…

"Look who's finally here! Took you guys a while!" Roared Ace. You froze, glimpsing to see your complexion shift to scarlet red. Goosebumps traveled up your body, and you stood frozen in place.

Now wasn't the time to freeze up!

Feeling curious, you stood near the doorway as you peeked down to see Jack and Ruggie greeting the others downstairs. Ruggie looked attractive in a yellow sweatshirt and black joggers that hugged his form. You choked on your breath, quietly scrambling into the bathroom.

Scarlet red cheeks greeted you, so you splashed some cold water to attempt to cool off.

'Okay, relax. Everything is going to be fine. Get yourself together!' 

This was no time to be panicky! Just get through tonight, and you'll be fine. Oh boy, if only Ruggie knew how much you were fretting, just for the cute blonde that was presently downstairs.

You gave yourself one last mini pep talk, smacked your cheeks, and then walked out.

You strode out of the bathroom and trekked down the stairs. The others were sitting on the couch, oblivious to you entering the lounge.

Jack, Ace, Grim, and Deuce discussed another card game while Ruggie sat on the couch nibbling on some chips. You grinned as his ears twitched, knowing he heard you coming. You stood above him, and he tipped his head back to greet you with his signature grin.

"Ah, prefect." he greeted while pivoting towards you. "Ready to join the card game?" You nodded, gliding over the couch to sit next to him. His contagious smile was something you adored to see every day.

You diverted your head away from Ruggie, attempting to hide the pink tint on your cheeks.

"So, what're we playing tonight?" you asked. The three turned while Jack greeted you with a nod and smile. The boys finally discussed the game, and the night began right away.

~~~~~

Grim and Ace were at each other's throats about an hour into the game. Both accused the other of cheating, and another argument soon broke out. You huffed an irritated sigh while Jack and Deuce just scowled at the two morons. Unexpectedly, Ruggie perked up.

"Hey, let's play something else. This is getting boring." Ruggie thankfully spoke up. You nodded, rubbing your temples after all the arguing. 

"I agree. Anyone got some ideas? I've got nothing." said Deuce. Everyone ran through different games out loud, but nothing seemed intriguing. Grim and Ace were squabbling at each other, uncertain about what game wouldn't allow the other to cheat.

"Shyehehehe!" Ruggie's mischievous laugh never meant anything good.

"How about hide and seek? No rules, just try not to get caught."

You sucked in a breath, unsure where this suggestion came from. You must've been in middle school the last time you played hide and seek. Hide and seek with magic? Now that was different.

It was better than listening to arguments all night long.

Ace and Grim finally ceased, hesitating before nodding.

"Yeah! I'm down with that. I'll show you how it's done, furball!" Laughed Ace. Grim grinned evilly as well.

"You'll be eating my fur after this, idiot! No one can catch "The Great Grim"!" Grim sneered.

"Okay! It'll be good practice for Beanfest next year!" Jack declared. Deuce glanced back and forth, only to shrug. "Alright. I'm in as well." 

Everyone diverted to you, waiting for your reply. You glimpsed at Ruggie, his cunning and playful eyes greeting yours. If looks could kill, that would've been this moment. He was challenging you. You smirked back at him and the others.

"Okay. Let's do this!" The boys eagerly hopped up, grabbing some paper and a hat to throw some names in. Everyone threw on a sweatshirt and shoes before racing out the side door. Ace's evil cackling made you laugh, with Grim following behind him.

You held the door open for everyone, Ruggie being the last to exit. He stepped by but lingered in front of you. As you were about to speak, Ruggie cut in as he stood close to your form.

"Don't let me catch you, (y/n). Or else…" Ruggie whispered into your ear, smirking at your flushed cheeks. You struggled to breathe for a moment, replaying what he said. It came out as if he was playing with you. Taunting you.

Once reality returned, Ruggie was already down the stairs. What had he meant? What was he going to do? 

You shook your head furiously, scrambling down the hill to the others. Jack reached into the hat and drew out a single slip of paper. 

"Grim. You're up first." Grim groaned to himself while everyone else chortled. He shifted towards the dorm, beginning his countdown from 60. As you pivoted, Ruggie's gaze directed you, winking before sprinting away with the others.

'Dammit! Everything he does-!' you shook off your thoughts.

You sped away from the yard, running up to a tree and climbing several branches. Once you were far from the ground, you sat against the tree and kept quiet. It was deathly silent tonight, with a subtle breeze ruffling the branches and leaves.

Somewhere to your left, Ace's cry could be heard in the distance. You waited, examining around to see if Grim was close by. Footsteps crunched below you, catching Deuce hiding behind the tree you were in. 

As you were about to get his attention, Grim leaped out of the bushes, launching onto Deuce's back as he shrieked. It took everything to not burst out laughing, not overlooking how high you were from the ground.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Grim celebrated to himself. Deuce grumbled, walking back towards the yard and ignoring Grim, celebrating obnoxiously.

Grim's ears twitched as some activity further away, and he dashed over to investigate. After a couple of seconds, you slid down the tree to sprint in the other direction. Heh. This should be an easy couple of rounds.

~~~~~

Several rounds were played. The previous round had been your turn, and it hadn't turned out fantastic. You caught Ace and Grim, but the other three boys had taken you quite a while. Deuce and Jack were in track and field, so it was no surprise they could outrun you. Ruggie, of course, was easily able to avoid you, instead toying with you.

Not having magic or any sort of ability was a huge disadvantage. 

Everyone gathered again to draw a name out of the hat. Ace was brushing off dirt from him slipping, failing to escape from you. Grim looked slightly tired until Ace made another snide comment. That perked Grim up quickly. Deuce and Jack were too busy talking about track and field.

Ruggie pulled out a slip of paper, smirking as he revealed it to everyone.

"Looks like it's my turn." He boasted. You froze, second-guessing yourself this round. This time, Ruggie would be chasing you?! You didn't forget how difficult it was to chase down Ruggie before Leona's overblot. 

A shiver traveled up your spine at the idea. Jack, however, was eager to challenge his vice house warden.

"Let's see what you got, Ruggie!" Jack beamed eagerly, smirking at Ruggie. He smirked back.

"Shyeheehee! You won't see me coming." Ruggie glanced in your direction. You stiffened from how playful his gaze was. Before he diverted towards the dorm, a sly grin greeted you. Satisfied with your flustered state, he spun away and began counting.

You choked on your breath, rushing towards the woods. You still registered his grin but knew he was teasing you. But damn, anything he did sent tremors throughout your body. This could be your chance to outwit him.

'We'll see about that, Ruggie.' 

Running until you were out of breath, you discovered a perfectly shadowed spot in the woods with plenty of branches and leaves to hide you. You glid in, overlooking the cuts and scrapes from the branches. Absorbing your surroundings, you ran through various ideas that could help you escape. 

Climb the tallest tree? No, you wouldn't be able to get down quietly; he could skillfully climb and corner you.

Sprint as quickly as possible? Psh, as if. Ruggie could run circles around you effortlessly, lest you forget how impossible it was to catch him when he stole Riddle and Cater's pens.

Mess with him? HA! Not a chance; you could hardly keep from reddening and becoming a stuttering mess.

You waited to recover some stamina, skimming around to see if maybe anyone-!

Several shouts reverberated throughout the woods. You clutched your chest tightly, attempting to slow your heart rate. Was it Ace? Deuce? Maybe Grim? You heard Ruggie's laugh after the screams died down. Damn, he got someone that quick?!

Skimming around again, it was desolate. The breeze had died down, the woods growing eerily silent. No animals or ghosts were around. Where the hell was Ruggie!?

Moments later, leaves could be heard crunching, becoming noisier every moment. You picked up on the activity heading towards you, leaves rustling as a figure leaped out into the opening. You braced yourself, holding your breath for whoever it was.

Jack.

Jack's strength and speed weren't something to overestimate. But how would he fare against Ruggie?? You were basically worthless to help him.

He slid back, eyes frantically observing the area around him as if he knew he wasn't alone. Jack quickly glimpsed over his shoulder, leaping back as Ruggie jumped towards Jack. 

As Jack bounced back, he misstepped over a stem and allowed an opening for Ruggie. He vaulted off a tree branch and caught Jack's arm while landing on his feet perfectly. Jack landed on his rear, his mouth gaping open from astonishment.

'H-Holy shit! Did Ruggie already get everyone?!' You were in total awe of his speed. Still, to be able to handle somebody as big as Jack Howl? Ruggie has incredible skillfulness.

Ruggie gradually stood up, sneering down at Jack's befuddled state.

"Shyeheehee! What'd I say before? You'd never see me coming." Ruggie triumphantly boasted. Jack took a couple of breaths before replying. 

"H-How'd you know I was in the trees?" Jack asked in utter shock. Ruggie shrugged, his arms sliding behind his head but still smirking. He didn't appear tired or bewildered, unlike Jack panting.

"Maybe stop moving your tail so much. It kept hitting the leaves, dead giveaway." Ruggie replied smugly, dusting off his sweatshirt. Jack huffed in defeat, standing and heading back towards Ramshackle.

"Four down, one to go," Ruggie confidently stated. Shit, he had caught everyone! You were the only one left.

Don't let me catch you, (y/n). Or else…

You sucked in a breath, freezing when Ruggie halted abruptly. He peeked behind him, assuming he might've heard you.

'Dammit! His hearing is immaculate!'

Ruggie wandered around the open area, skimming up and down the shady, wooded area. Surveying every inch around him, from the top of the trees to the stones littered about the forest floor.

You didn't move an inch, afraid he would pick up on any movement around you. Glancing around, there was no path; you wouldn't be able to run off without alerting Ruggie. 

"I know you're here, (y/n)." He spoke out loud. Your throat grew dry, hands became clammy. He would find you soon enough. The woods became dark again, and you looked up to see the clouds shrouding the full moon.

Only one thing processed through your head: How would you make it out of here? Ruggie's hearing is outstanding, and incredibly observant of his surroundings. Not to mention how quickly he caught the others.

With how many branches currently caged you, your hiding spot wouldn't be easy to leave.

'Maybe I can distract him somehow! Then, while he's preoccupied, I can sprint in the other direction!'

You were running out of options. Slowly tilting down to pick up a lone rock, you glimpsed carefully to see which direction to throw it. Ruggie was still looking around, his ear twitching to any subtle movement.

'Okay. You can do this! Just chuck it and book it!'

Taking a slow deep breath, you raised your arm back, then hurled it as hard and distant as possible. Ruggie halted, listening to the rock striking the floor and resonating loudly. He took off, speeding into the darkness until you couldn't see him.

You wouldn't have much time for him to find you! Legs feeling like jello, and your chest tight, you needed to run until you couldn't anymore. Waiting briefly, you quickly untangled yourself from your hiding spot, dashing away while skimming around your surroundings.

After a bit, you leaped out from some scrubs, scraping your arms and legs more. Still, it didn't stop you. You needed to distance yourself from-!

Unexpectedly, Ruggie leaped down and landed only feet from you. Thanks to your quick reaction, you skidded to a stop and fled away from him.

"Laugh with Me!" He yelled, and you swore under your breath. Your body immediately froze where you stood. Taking in several breaths, your body abruptly turned towards him. Ruggie wore a smug grin with his hands on his hips.

"Shyehehehe! Nice try, (y/n). That wouldn't work on me." Ruggie chuckled, amused by how flustered you were.

Damn, there was no getting out of this. You scowled daggers at him, but his smirk only deepened. He took a step forward as you mimicked his movements.

"D-Dammit. You caught on quick!" you stuttered. Ruggie shrugged, raising his arms behind his head and chuckling as you did.

"I wasn't sure if it was you moving around at first. I knew it was you once you threw that rock and sprinted off." Ruggie grinned, taking two steps forward.

You cursed under your breath, anticipating him to undo his signature spell and catch you. Only, he was taking his time with you, like a predator toying with his prey, waiting for the perfect opportunity. It turns your stomach into knots.

"Well, what're you waiting for? Aren't you gonna tag me?" you questioned in frustration. Ruggie didn't respond, just taking slow steps, one at a time. You couldn't read him. What was he thinking?

Every step he took, your heart rate intensified. The moonlight finally came out, radiating up his handsome face. You were lost in his captivating eyes, enchanted by his mischievous smirk.

Ruggie stopped, standing just inches from you now. You stood speechless, a million thoughts running at once. Ruggie simply stared, clearly amused over your frantic state.

"R-Ruggie," you spoke up timidly, amazed he heard you. "What did you mean earlier?"

"Hmm? You've got to be more specific than that, (y/n)." Ruggie taunted. You tried to scowl at him, but your flush cheeks told a different story. You were praying to the Great seven that he wouldn't notice, but it was unlikely considering how close he stood.

"You said you'd do something if you caught me." You paused, "What did you mean by that?" Ruggie's face suddenly relaxed, his gaze sliding over your form. You shivered under his watch, holding your breath, waiting for his answer. 

Icy fingers gently cupped your cheek. You stiffened as you watched your hand slowly reach up to mimic his action. Only Ruggie captured your hand and gripped it carefully.

Your eyes never left his face. All you could hear was how your heartbeat quickened at every touch and gesture. Ruggie appeared mellow, but his gaze read something more.

As if he was searching for some sort of reaction.

"R-Ruggie…" you breathed. Ruggie's eyes traveled up to greet (e/c) with his endless blue eyes. Eyes that you were constantly searching for whenever everyone hung out together. Eyes that planned out his destiny every instant while depending on no one but himself.

Eyes you longed to see every day, morning, and night.

"Laugh With Me," he whispered. Instantly, you felt control of your body again, though you didn't shift an inch. It was as if he expected you to pull away, but you only yearned more.

Coming to this realization, his eyes enlarged as he sucked in a breath. Ruggie's face drew closer to yours, reddening innocently when you silently inhaled.

"(y/n)....Listen…," he muttered, glancing from your lips to your eyes. Dryness had plagued your throat, rendering you unable to speak.

Swallowing slowly, he drifted closer to you, your lips only inches from him-! 

"Ha!" Grim jumped out of nowhere, startling the two of you as you both shouted. You dropped on your side while Ruggie jerked away to settle down from the shock (and what just transpired, you hoped). 

Grim innocently jumped into your arms, chuckling to himself.

"What the hell, furball!?" Ruggie yelled while clutching his chest.

"Hehe! Got ya both!" Grim sniggered. "We didn't hear (y/n) screaming yet, so we went to find ya both!" You strained, calming your heart, frowning daggers at the little weasel. "You both ready to head back inside?" 

You nodded, stiffening when Ruggie trekked past and headed towards Ramshackle. You stood up, following after him, but mentally you were in a different realm.

~~~

After about an hour, it was time to wind down and watch a movie. Grim settled on a cheesy scary film, but midway through the opening, Grim squealed at every awful jumpscare. Ace tossed popcorn at Grim till Deuce scolded him about the mess. Jack tried to act tough but also jumped at some jump scares.

Ruggie had gone to the bathroom with an empty seat next to you. Your eyes were glued to the TV, but you were zoned out. Moments from before replayed in your head. You could only embrace your pillow tightly to conceal your blush.

Would he dismiss what happened? Brush it off and call it a night? How could anyone get any rest after both of your lips were inches from another? The warmness radiated off his body, and his electrifying eyes drew you in.

'DAMMIT! I NEED TO STOP!' 

The couch shifted; you jerked slightly when Ruggie sat next to you on the sofa, his shoulders grazed against yours. You glimpsed at him, but his attention was focused on the movie. You shuffled over a bit but relished his warmth again.

You grew discouraged. Does Ruggie really want to brush it off? Had it really meant nothing to him? You were so perplexed. You clutched the cushion tighter, expecting stuffing to burst out any instant.

Shaking off your thoughts, you redirected your gaze to the TV. How badly you desired to crawl into your bed and never leave.

Warm skin greeted yours, and your eyes dilated when his hand slid into yours. It felt as if time slowed, savoring how his hand fit into yours perfectly. You swallowed, peeking at him. He seemed attentive on the TV, but his eyes slowly slid to meet yours.

Ruggie gently squeezed your hand, you doing the same back. He grinned warmly, slipping something into your grasp before he winked, stood, and headed into the kitchen.

Your hand quivered, but you took yourself to your bedroom for a moment of privacy. As soon as you shut the door, you shakily opened the note. It was short; simply reading:

Meet me outside in 5 minutes.

Outside? By yourselves? You felt flush at the idea. No more interruptions, only you and Ruggie.

It was time to get some answers.

~~~~~

Throwing whatever excuse you could muster, you stepped outside. It was still relatively frigid out, but that was the least of your concerns.

Looking for the blonde, he sat outside in the grass, staring at the sky. Taking a deep breath, you tread over to stand next to him. His eyesight slid from the sky to meet yours, patting the spot beside him.

You smiled, sitting down and joining him as you gaped at the stars. It wouldn't have been a surprise if you witnessed a shooting star tonight. It was as if every inch of the evening sky glistened with stars.

"(y/n)," Ruggie spoke after a brief silence. "I need to be honest with you." You nodded, offering him your undivided awareness. Ruggie glimpsed up again, seemingly lost in the stars.

"For years, I told myself to never rely on anyone. I needed to stick to myself to stay alive in Sunset Savana. Others didn't learn and ended up paying dearly for it." Ruggie reflected, sadness obscuring his features.

It felt awful to hear it from him. It was unthinkable what Ruggie had gone through, but you remained quiet as he continued.

"When I got into NRC, I kept what I learned and trusted only a few. Everyone is pitted up against each other here, doing anything to stand out on top. I was doing well, keeping everything to myself and working my tail off. Even after Leona's overblot, I kept my defense up. But…" Ruggie trailed off, clutching his fist.

His stare trailed to greet yours, forcing you to lose your breath. He was pouring everything out to you, which wasn't usual for Ruggie. 

He was letting his defense down.

"When you helped me after the overblot incident, I assumed you wanted something in return. Or just to get back at me for what I'd done at the Spelldrive Tournament. But, you proved otherwise." He moved nearer, his hand only inches from brushing yours.

"Before I knew it, I always looked forward to seeing you. Whether passing in the hallways or during lunch, I constantly searched the room to see if you were there. And when I would notice you," Ruggie's hand slid over yours, squeezing it tightly. "My stomach would do somersaults. My chest would tighten, and I would go out of the way to talk to you."

Your cheeks grew flush, eyes broadening at what he's admitting to you. Ruggie slid even closer, grazing your hair behind your ear, his fingertips lingering at your pink cheeks. 

"This is new to me, but I know how I feel about you (f/n). I've fallen so hard for you it scares me. It scares me how much I trust you, but you're someone I can be myself with." 

Ruggie cupped your cheek delicately, stunned to feel his hand quivering. There was a pink tint on his cheeks, his eyes wavering as they stared into yours.

"Ruggie...earlier in the forest, no. Even before today, I've always liked you. I want to be there for you through everything. I want to let your walls down and be able to be yourself." You also gushed, moving closer as you grasped his hand in yours.

Ruggie appeared taken aback at your forwardness, his eyes widening as you persisted.

"I want to be there for you every day! I want to make you smile no matter what! I can't stand the idea of you not existing in my life!

"(y/n)-!"

"Everything concerning you, I love! There's nothing I could ever despise about you! You work hard and have endured so much, yet here you stand as a man!"

"(y/n)-!"

"I want to make you the happiest person alive! I'll do anything! I-!"

Warm lips cut you off, his hands grasping your shoulders tightly. Your eyes enlarged but shut gradually as you relished his kiss. Your stomach was doing somersaults but never had you felt so content and grateful to be thrown into this mysterious world.

Ruggie pulled away, both of you opening your eyes and seeing how flustered you were. Ruggie's handsome smile greeted you, cupping your cheek with one hand and gliding his other against your waist. 

"You have no idea how long I've been thinking about kissing you…" He whispered against your lips, smirking when you were at a loss for words.

"I-I uh...holy shit…" you were a complete stuttering mess. Ruggie chuckled to himself, skating his thumb over your reddened cheek. Unquestionably, he was entertained with how effortless it was to make you flustered.

"Kiss me again, (y/n)..." he whispered in a husky voice, your breath hitching at his request. Impatient, he bent in again and stole your lips once more. You whined against his lips, but this time kissing him back with desire.

You felt your back hit the grass, overlooking it as Ruggie laid above you to deepen the kiss. Both of his arms caged your head, unable to hold back how both of you craved this closeness.

You were looking forward to making Ruggie fluster and smile more frequently. He deserved it, after all.

~~~~~~

Extended Ending

~~~~~~

Both you and Ruggie quietly unlocked the front door and closed it. The lounge was silent as you both strode into the room. You beamed warmly, seeing everyone bundled up in blankets and sound asleep. 

Ace was stretched out on one couch, with his arm dangling off the side and snoring loudly. Deuce was enveloped in his blanket, softly snoring, and Grim passed out on the other side of his sofa. Jack was facing towards the couch, but his back slowly rising indicated he was sound asleep.

At least everyone wouldn't question you both as to what occurred.

"Hey, do you wanna sleep in my room?" Ruggie stiffened at the impulsive question, looking at you to see if you were teasing him.

"What? You serious?" You nodded, reaching to grab his hand softly. He glanced from your hand to your eyes, quietly chuckling at your offer. It was his turn to be flustered.

"Shyehehe! Fine by me. I can keep you warm tonight." He whispered slyly as he leaned in to kiss you softly. You giggled, drawing him towards the staircase. You opened your bedroom door, strolling in as you both climbed into bed together.

Ruggie tugged the blanket over, reaching and drawing your body close to his. You shut your eyes and smiled, part of you wishing that tonight would never end. Could tonight have been a cruel fantasy? Would you wake up and everything that occurred vanish?

"Hey, (Y/n)." 

You opened your eyes, glancing up at Ruggie's handsome face. Ruggie tipped his forehead against yours, his hand sliding up and down your back softly.

"I love you."  

No, it wasn't a dream. Your heart swelled hearing those beautiful words leave Ruggie's lips. You connected your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a long kiss. You drew back, nestling closer and smiling wholeheartedly for the first time in a long time.

"I love you too, Ruggie. So much."

[illfoandillfie]

Kinktober Day 7: Somnophilia (+Double Penetration - 2 holes)

Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

Words: 2,397

Warnings: Somnophilia, double penetration, anal sex, sex toys (dildo + plug), dom!Roger, protected sex, light degradation (slut), edging

A/N: This was kind of inspired by a couple of different posts I saw on a (now deleted) porn blog. I’ve been wanting to do something with the concepts for a little while now and this seemed like the perfect opportunity!

I guess I was picturing 70s rog since its a flatmate/fwb type relationship but go nuts imagining whatever you want lmao

It hadn’t been Roger’s idea to set up a friends with bennefits type arrangement, but he’d liked the suggestion when you made it and before the end of the night was out you’d sealed the deal, so to speak. He’d been a touch tispy at the time, as had you, but when he woke up in your bed the next morning he hadn’t believed it to be a mistake, even if you were his flatmate. And so the arrangement (or as Roger dubbed it, The Fuckbuddy Pact) stuck. In an effort to make sure neither of you would feel weird about what happened and to avoid anything becoming too much like a relationship, Roger suggested that you should get all your kinks and weird fetishes out into the open straight away. 

“That way we’ll both know what we’re in for from the jump,” he said, looking at you from the opposite end of the couch, “None of that getting to know you shit, or taking our time. We’re both here for sex so let’s just figure out what sex we’ll both like and get straight into it, right?”  “Sounds excellent,” you’d said, cheersing his bottle of beer with your glass.   It was how he’d discovered your interest in somnophilia (a term he’d not heard before and had needed a thorough explanation of). But once he knew what it was, Roger had been keen to try it out with you. There were other things too but the somnophilia was the newest to him and, thus, the most exciting. Before the month was out you’d figured out a system to incorproate it into your sex safely. The main rule was that if either of you was asleep and naked, it was okay to initiate sex. Eventually there ended up being a few exceptions or addendums added to that rule – it was still okay if the sleeping party wore a top of some kind as long as they were pantsless, and once or twice lingerie had been deemed to not count as clothes, but only on special occasions when you’d prearranged it. It became a regular part of your sex lives, which was especially useful for Roger who often didn’t get home from playing gigs until the early hours of the morning. If you were in bed and undressed, he’d take the opportunity to blow off some of the adrenaline without having to use his hand which was underwhelming compared to your cunt. But, more often than not, you’d do what most sexual partners did and got it out of your systems before bed time.  

Roger already suspected that you were hoping for a quick tumble when he heard the knock on his door, but he had other things on his mind too as he told you to come in.  “Hey, Rog, you busy?”  “Uhhh yeah, sorry, running late for rehearsals but I can’t find my fucking drumsticks,” Roger said, moving things around his desk as he searched for the missing sticks.   “Oh, damn.”  “Let me guess,” he said, pausing in the hunt and turning to face you, “horny?”  “My friend recommended a porn thing and I kinda got worked up.” You shrugged, unembarrassed to admit what you wanted.  That self-confidence was enough to make Roger wish he could stay and give you what you wanted but he was already late and couldn’t afford to be later. Instead he laughed and turned back to double check his backpack, “I would but, I’m leaving as soon as I fin- Aha! Bloody things must have rolled off the bed. Sorry, Y/N.”  “Oh, no worries. I’ll take care of myself.”  He smiled at the thought, “Well I better go. See you tonight?”  “Yeah, see ya. Have fun.” 

It was later than he’d expected by the time Roger got home. Part of him (the part in his pants mostly) vaguely wondered if you’d still be up for something but the bits of him controlled by his brain thought it more likely that you’d have had a nice couple of orgasms on your own and called it a night. Still, he thought he might at least check in on you once he’d dropped his bag in his room. To his surprise though, his bed wasn’t empty like it should have been. He jumped when the light from the hall softly illuminated you, on your back and deep asleep, but his shock quickly turned to delight as he realised you were naked.   “You little minx,” he muttered under his breath, impressed by the invitation you were giving him. But as he walked closer he paused again, noticing something he hadn’t been able to see from the doorway. There, beside your hand, was your favourite glass dildo, as if you’d passed out after using it.  “Oh you are naughty,” Roger chuckled. He traced one hand down your body, between your breasts and over your stomach, and softly said your name, checking if you’d rouse. But you were deep asleep and not likely to wake up any time soon. A plan for what to do with you forming, Roger stepped away from you for a moment to strip down to his briefs. His cock was already beginning to stir at the sight of you. He reached out to touch you again, less cautiously this time, palming your breasts before dipping his hand lower and lower, down to your cunt, pleased to find you still wet from whatever you’d been doing before you fell asleep.  You let out a soft hum as he explored you, thumb teasing over your clit as he wet his fingers between your folds.   Roger paused at the sound, not ready for you to wake up yet, but once it was clear you were still asleep he sank two fingers into you. Slowly they penetrated your heat, pausing to make sure the sensation hadn’t roused you at all. But you slept on. Carefully Roger partially withdrew his fingers before sinking them in again, gradually working up to a consistent thrust that had your unconscious body sighing and spreading your legs wider.   “Good girl,” he whispered, watching you carefully. The hall light was still on but his door wasn’t open fully so the darkness was only dimmed slightly. He twisted his fingers inside you, easily finding the spots that usually made you scream his name but which now just made your eyebrows knit together. By this point in your relationships Roger was quite confident that he could understand your body. He’d made you cum enough times, awake and asleep, to know what you liked and just how much you liked it. And he knew what it looked like when you were close to orgasm. Which is how he knew to stop, to still his fingers and wait for you to calm down.  

There was no real reason to edge you. If anything it just made it more likely you’d wake before he’d got his dick wet. But he had fun with it. Watching the way you’d shift, your chest rising and falling more rapidly, your lips parted as whimpers fell from them, your hips automatically rolling to meet his hand. And then he’d stop again. It made him chuckle quietly to himself. Knowing he could control your body so easily was thrilling. It made him want to do it more. So as soon as your face had relaxed again, your limbs loose and limp, he’d settle into the rhythm once more, curious how much you’d take before you woke up and begged him to finish you off. It was tempting to just keep going. He pictured you waking with a moan, your first words a plea for release or better yet for his cock so he could fuck you properly. Roger groaned. In the time he’d taken to edge you a handful of times his dick had well and truly stiffened and, as much as he enjoyed toying with you, what he really wanted was to cum in you so when you woke you’d know you’d been used. With that thought in mind he withdrew his fingers fully, taking a second to suck them clean and enjoy your taste. Having you on his tongue just made him want to fuck you more so he carefully knelt between your legs, shifting one to give himself a better angle. He was moments from finally taking what he so wanted to take from you, when something caught his eye.  

It didn’t glint as much as it did in the day but he could see it’s outline all the same. And when he double checked that he wasn’t imaging it, pressing his thumb against the hard end of it, you groaned.   “A dildo and a butt plug?” He asked you, knowing you wouldn’t respond, “Is that a surprise for me? Or is it just because nothing satisfies you like I do?” Roger’s hand slipped down to his underwear, pushing his briefs down enough that he could get his cock out. He hissed as he spread his precum along his length, contemplating how he should use you. “Could fuck your cunt now and hope you stay asleep long enough for me to get back there. Or maybe I should just go all in, have your arse straight away. That’ll mean wearing a condom though. Or would it?” he shook his head, now was not the time to try anal raw for the first time, “No, condom definitely.” He was still trying to decide what to do when you shifted in your sleep, rolling onto your side. The new position you lay in made it much easier to reach your arsehole.  “That decides it then,” Roger said to himself, shedding his underwear and opening his bedside draw for his lube.  

Carefully, he settled himself behind you and slowly began to remove your plug. It took a few stops and starts, pulling out and sinking in, almost fucking you with it, as you whimpered in your sleep but you seemed to press yourself back towards him as if trying to encourage him.   “Just can’t get enough of me, can you?” he chuckled as he set the plug aside and spread the lube around your hole. He rolled the condom down his shaft and spread the lube along it too, humming at the slick friction of his hand, knowing he was about to feel something a hundred thousand times better. And then he lined himself up, pushing the head of his cock into the ring of muscles you’d so generously stretched out with your plug. He went slowly there too, partially so you’d sleep on and partially so he wouldn’t cum embarrassingly fast.   When he finally began to fuck you, you moaned into your pillow, able to feel it in your sleep.   Roger bit his lip to keep his own moan from getting too loud.  You moved in your sleep again, your legs opening more as you half rolled onto your front. It let Roger fuck you deeper and gave him better access to your pussy too.  “You’re a bit of a whore when you’re alseep,” he said softly, reaching for the dildo. You were still wet enough that it sank into you easily, like it remembered where it had been earlier and fit into your cunt perfectly. The way you lay meant he didn’t have what he’d call easy access to you but it was enough that he could thrust the dildo somewhat rhythmically. He faltered here and there as the feeling of fucking you distracted him but he didn’t feel too bad about the slips, knowing it was keeping you from reaching your release. Your sleepy sighs and moans got louder as he filled both your holes which just made him fuck you harder, enjoying the sounds you were making and wanting to hear more.  

You woke with a broken moan in your throat, jerking under Roger’s hands but he shushed you, his palms warm against your skin and his voice familiar and reassuring.   “Stay right there, baby. Being such a good set of holes for me to enjoy.”  You couldn’t do much more than moan again, dazed from the sudden way you’d been pulled back to consciousness and realising what you’d felt in your dreams had been very real indeed.   “This was what you wanted wasn’t it? When you fell asleep in my bed.”  You nodded, the sound of the fabric of the pillowcase loud against your ear.  “Uh uh, words Love. If you’re going to be a slut the least you can do is admit it.”  “Yes, Rog. Want-wanted this.”  “Good girl. And how do you feel now?”  “Oh god, close. So close.”  Roger slowed the pace of the dildo, putting more effort into thrusting into you, his hips slapping loudly against your skin.   You keened at the loss of friction.  “Slut-s don’t com-complain.” Roger grunted as he used you, “They t-ake what they’re giv-en.”  You whined but that just made Roger laugh, louder now you were awake but broken by groans and moans of his own.   It didn’t take much more for him to cum, stuttering out, “Fu-ck Y-Y/N,” as he did.  

Roger was panting as he eased himself out of your arsehole, replacing his cock with the plug and giving your hip a light tap of thanks. The dildo was still inside you, but he’d not been moving it at all as he reached his climax so it wasn’t much help.   “Did you cum?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as he flopped onto the mattress beside you.  You shook your head and sighed, “And after I waited here all night to surprise you too. Thought you’d be home sooner.”  “Is that why you had the toys? You got bored waiting for me?”  “No, I was expecting you to come home while I was using them. Only then I came and fell asleep.”  "Of course,” Roger laughed, “you still got your shag though, don’t know why you’re complaining.”  “I’m really fucking horny still, that’s bloody why. What are you smirking about?”  “Nothing. Just nice to know edging you in your sleep works just as well as when you’re awake.”  “Prick!” you squealed though unable to contain your smile at the idea.  “Don’t worry. Give me a few minutes to clean up and get my stamina back and then I’ll make you cum as many times as you want.” 

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

[realcube]

msby boys finding out their s/o is pregnant

navi | masterlist | taglist  

thank you to anon for this wholesome request 

content warning ♡ pregnant! reader, sexual references, swearing & fluff

characters ♡ sakusa, atsumu, bokuto & hinata

kiyoomi sakusa 

♡ he faltered

♡ there was half a minute of silence between the two of you; him just staring at your stomach while you gazed into his eyes

♡ he was almost certain that he misheard you, so he felt inclined to inquire, ‘huh?’ as indifferently as he could, though he wasn’t doing a good job of concealing the shocked expression on his face 

♡ ‘i said i’m pregnant, sweetie.’ you giggled, admiring the emotions he displayed on his face as it wasn’t a sight you got to see often

♡ sakusa continued to stare at you, eyes wide 

♡ though he knew what you meant, apart of him insisted that he was mishearing you 

♡ his wide-eyes were fixated on you, his lips slightly agape as he tried to process what you just said and what this meant for the both of you 

♡ the only emotion you could read of his face was shock. at first, you were sure that he was happy but he was just taking a while to accept it, but now that a few minutes had passed and he was still yet to say anything or even smile, you were starting to second guess yourself

♡ despite the fact sakusa had already agreed that he was on board with the idea of having a child many times before - in fact, there were nights where he’d admit that he can’t wait to start a family with you - but you still worried that perhaps he has now that had a change of heart

♡ that was until you noticed his eyes become unusually glossy and red, along with his cheeks adapting a somewhat red tint, ‘if this is a joke, (y/n), it’s not funny.’ his ordinary, monotone voice was now slightly shaky and low 

♡ ‘it’s not a joke, ‘iyoomi.’ you laughed, feeling your own throat go dry and your cheek flare up upon seeing how emotional sakusa had become

♡ before the tears spilled from your eyes, you felt sakusa’s arms slowly snake around your waist, place an elongated kiss on your forehead then rest his chin on your shoulder 

♡ he held you close enough that you could feel his rapid heartbeat thud against your chest and his wobbly breath tickle the back of your neck

♡ he stayed like that, silent, for a good few minutes 

♡ when he finally pulled away to admire your stomach, you noticed how his damp cheeks glistened in the light and you couldn’t help but smile

♡ although he wasn’t very vocal about how happy he was, his actions spoke a thousand words

♡ he’d insist in home-cooking all your food now because he didn’t want to risk you getting food poisoning 

♡ when he’d come home from practise, absolutely exhausted, the first thing he’d do when he gets home is  wash his hands then cut you some fruit 

♡ when he has free-time, he used to just watch TV but now he’s picked up a few hobbies of reading childcare books, tending to your every need/want and researching good baby names

♡ also, he’s so gentle with you - like, he was gentle with you before but this is a new extreme

♡ excluding the time he almost tackled you to the ground when you suggested atsumu as a baby name

♡ like he baby-proofs the house like a month into your pregnancy lmao 

kōtarō bokuto

♡ the corners of his lips slowly curl into a bright smile, ‘pregnant?’

♡ you cocked your head to the side slightly, then hummed, ‘yeah. pregnant.’

♡ ‘like..with a kid?’

♡ you snorted, playfully rolling your eyes, ‘i’d hope so.’

♡ ‘like..with my kid?’

♡ ‘our kid - but yes.’

♡ a while passed and he had yet to do anything besides stare at you in pure adoration so you prompted him by opening your arms 

♡ to which he immediately responded by throwing himself onto you, ‘I’m gonna be a dad?! like seriously?!’

♡ luckily you were sitting on your bed so you fell back onto that but you were still being smothered by his chest 

♡ ‘bo!’ you squealed and squirmed under his weight and tight grip, glad that he was as cheery as you had hoped but not appreciating being suffocated 

♡ he suddenly pulled away but kept his large hands glued to your shoulders, revealing the tears that were already streaming down his cheeks and dampened your shirt, ‘really?!’

♡ ‘yes, bokuto. i am 100% pregnant.’ you declared for the final time before bokuto cupped your face with his hands and pulled you in to a passionate kiss, not stopping until your lips were basically swollen

♡ he’s just so hyped during the first few days of your pregnancy and he’s just super duper ready to become a dad!

♡ like he’s already practising his dad jokes 

♡ but then you remind him that he’s gonna have to wait around 9 months before he can actually see his baby and his hair literally deflates 

♡ ugh how rude of you 

♡ can you not like...make it grow faster?? please??

♡ once you explain to him that’s not how babies work, he kinda accepts it and just focuses his attention on you

♡ he kinda does some research on babies/pregnancy but not prior, he just does a quick google search when he needs to 

♡ but the intention is definitely there bc he googles the most trivial of things like ‘what to make pregnegant ppl for breakfast?’

♡ ‘what do pragnant ppl need from the supermarket?’

♡ ‘can my pregenunt wife have peanut butter?’

♡ ‘how to spell preaignant’ 

atsumu miya 

♡ DEEP denial

♡ he thinks you are playing a prank on him bc you don’t ‘look pregnant’

♡ even when you show him your positive pregnancy test he’s like ‘and how much did that cost?’

♡ he deadass acts as if he wasn’t the one who’s been trying to get you pregnant and raving on about how much he wants a family with you for the last few months 

♡ but he just doesn’t want to believe you bc he know he’ll get way too happy for his own good and he’s afraid to be let down

♡ plus, it was one of those ‘a blessing of this magnitude couldn’t have happened to me - of all people - so this is probably either a cruel joke or a hallucination.’ moments 

♡ he’s just so far gone that after your eleventh attempt at trying to convince him that you’re pregnant for real, you just give up

♡ so y’all just go around your business somewhat normally - except atsumu was more skittery - until your baby bump started to become more prominent

♡ one day, he came back from practise, noticed your bump and pulled you into the most passionate, heartfelt kiss before placing a gentle kiss upon your stomach, a buoyant grin gracing his features

♡ though he doesn’t say much since he is at a loss for words, he mutters a few sweet nothings into your ear as he carries you to the bedroom

♡ for a joke, he pretends to be gutted if you’re libido production decrease but really, he couldn’t care less

♡ but if it increases tho- 

♡ expect him to take full advantage of that 

♡ also, if he didn’t already treat you like his goddess, he does now 

♡ work has moved down his list of priorities and you + his baby are now at number one 

♡ usually he keeps his phone on silent/stuffs it into his bag while he is practising but now he insists on keeping it on full volume, out on the bench, just in case you call him for an emergency 

♡ same goes for texts; he will literally stop mid-set to rush over to his phone if he hears it vibrate 

♡ bokuto thinks it’s sweet but the rest of them get pretty annoyed of his antics quite quickly but whenever they try to call him out on it, he’s like ‘is your wife 6 months pregnant? no! i didn’t think so. i should be on paternity leave right now so be glad i’m blessing you with my presence.’

shōyō hinata

♡ he cannot stop thanking you

♡ as if you’re doing him a favour, which - depending on how you view it - you are

♡ he’s literally on his knees with his hands clasped together, tears of joy streaming down his face as he looks up at you in pure adoration, ‘thank you, (y/n)!’

♡ you tilted your head to the side and stared at him with a perplexed expression, ‘you’re welcome?’

♡ it’s a while before he moves from that position but when he does, it’s only so he can press his ear against your stomach to see if he can hear the baby 

♡ ‘shō, i don’t think it’s body has even formed ye--’

♡ ‘shh! it’s speaking to me.’ he chuckled then proceeded to squeeze his eyes shut, intensely listening to whatever the baby had to say 

♡ you quirked a brow, waiting for him to finish and once he did, he sprung to his feet and threw his arms over your shoulders to pull you in for a hug - in which he had to stop himself from squeezing you too tightly in fear of hurting you, as if pregnancy meant that your bones were now made of glass

♡ he’s just so happy that you agreed to bear his children 🙏

♡ also, seeing how excited you were to tell him about your pregnancy really prompted him to step up his husband-game 

♡ from now on, he loads the dishwasher, does both of your laundry, cleans the house on his own and cooks most of the food 

♡ he acts as if being pregnant means you are no longer able to do basic tasks but his real motive behind doing these things was not only to take the pressure off of you but to also prepare himself for father life 👍

♡ also, to prepare him for shopping for his kids’ clothes, he goes out and buys you maternity wear 

♡ he does this like...3 weeks into your pregnancy though so the clothes just sit and catch dust until a few months later when you actually need them 

♡ and although he is a bit of a pain to go stroller/pram shopping with (he just says buy whichever one goes the fastest), you let him take the reins when it came to buying/preparing the baby’s room and it came out beautiful!

♡ like the cradle was good quality and firm, the rug wouldn’t irritate the baby’s skin, the walls were painted expertly and the plushies/toys he picked out - unbeknownst to you at the time - kept the baby entertained for ages

♡ oh and no matter what day/week/month you are in of pregnancy, he will always look at you and your bump with the same amazement and gratitude as he did the first time you told him

[moririki]

⤷ AN EIGHT-LEGGED PROBLEM

OIKAWA TOORU & SAKUSA KIYOOMI & HAIBA LEV & MIYA ATSUMU X READER -> 1.8K
you save your boyfriend from a massive problem which is currently in the corner of your bathroom )

REQUEST -> n/a
CONTAINS -> spiders, bugs, you picking up said creepy crawlies, hq boys being no! help! at! all! (but that's ok bc we love them for it), fanon-ish sakusa cos i haven't read the manga and he had like 5 seconds of screen time so i'm just going off of what i've read + seen, clear favouritism despite the fact that i know basically nothing about sakusa, manga timeskip spoilers in sakusa's
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> haven't seen one where the reader is the one in the relationship who takes care of bugs so since i'm a #girlboss who throws spiders out of my room whenever i see them without breaking a sweat i'm writing that into a fun lil thing with the haikyuu boys that i strongly believe are scared of bugs. also besides the point but look at the pretty colour palette that their banners make fjfjfjdj will go back to writing the requests after this! inspiration just struck

❍ OIKAWA TOORU

-> omg this fucking guy

-> don't let his pride fool you this man HATES bugs with a burning passion

-> he'll never admit it though

-> between you and the aoba johsai team he would never hear the end of how the great king oikawa would cower at the sight of a moth doing laps around a lightbulb

-> so when you pretended not to hear the shriek that left your boyfriend when he saw something flying around the bathroom light and he declined your offer to get rid of the moth for him, this left oikawa in a pretty difficult situation

-> it was just him alone in the bathroom, trying to brush his teeth while eyeing the bug warily

-> you came in a few minutes later, getting ready to go to bed as well

-> "you know, babe, that moth's been there for quite a while," you teased him

-> oikawa hummed in response, his eyes never leaving it as it continued its circumnavigation of the light fixture

-> "oh, you know. who am i to kick someone out of their home? i'm no monster"

-> you almost snorted at how poor of an excuse that was, but ruffled your boyfriend's hair anyway

-> "i'll take care of it, ru, you just finish getting ready"

-> "but y/n-chan, that moth has feelings! don't be mean to it!"

-> you gave tooru a very blank stare at that

-> "so do you want me to leave you alone with your new friend?"

-> "......no"

-> "that's what i thought"

-> you went up to the moth, managing to trap it in your hands before releasing it from a window

-> oikawa shuddered as you came back to the sink, giving your hands a quick rinse before resuming with brushing your teeth like nothing had happened

-> "you're so brave, my love"

-> "anything for you, babe"

❍ SAKUSA KIYOOMI

-> bless this poor boy

-> so it's no secret that sakusa isn't the fondest of germs

-> and that extends to bugs and spiders too

-> besides a normal amount of disgust that he held for them, the thought of where the insects had been or placed one of their many feet on never failed to make his skin crawl

-> that's where you, his wonderful significant other, comes in

-> as much as he loves you, he just can't understand how you always stared at bugs with wonder in your eyes

-> you'd even pick them up, cooing at the way they crawled up your arm while sakusa just stared at you in disbelief with a can of bug spray in hand

-> tonight was one of those swelteringly hot summer nights

-> you know, the ones where the air seems to be still no matter how many windows you open and every insect in a mile radius is actively trying to enter your home

-> you were spending the night at your boyfriend's apartment, ready to have a relaxing night in with him since your schedules had finally synced up and allowed you both to enjoy a day off at the same time

-> it took months of trust before sakusa finally admitted to you how much he enjoyed doing skincare

-> so whenever you two spent the night together, you decided to start the evening with some face masks and idle binging of a tv show

-> against his half-hearted protests, you had insisted that sakusa wore a headband while this happened (one that had a very cute duck face printed on it)

-> just to keep the curls out of his face, of course

-> whenever he caught you sneaking a candid of him with facemask and duck headband on, he just shot you a halfhearted glare and threatened you to never send that to atsumu or the rest of the msby team

-> (you set it as your home screen instead)

-> anyways, i digress

-> so tonight you decided to cool down from the heat with a few facemasks and cuddling in your boyfriend's heavily air conditioned living room

-> but he kept all his skincare stuff in the bathroom, so you went to go get them as he set up a show to watch along with some snacks

-> you flicked on the light, going to his cabinet when something in the corner of the room caught your eye

-> there was a fairly large spider, desperately trying to crawl up the smooth tile wall

-> you decided to take pity on it and release it

-> but when you had it cupped safely in your hands, you decided to terrorise your poor boyfriend just a little

-> "hey, omi, look what i found!"

-> your boyfriend perked up at your signature nickname for him, though his eyes narrowed as he saw your clasped hands held in front of you

-> "no"

-> "but baby, you haven't even seen-"

-> "no"

-> you giggled at how defensive he had become

-> "come on, don't you want to name it? it's very cute"

-> "i want you to throw it out, y/n"

-> "alright, alright"

-> you took the spider to a window, releasing it back outside before heading back to the bathroom and grabbing a few masks for real this time

-> sakusa gave you the cold shoulder as you sat down next to him, humming as you gave him a face mask and putting it on without a word

-> "aww, baby, i'm sorry"

-> "..."

-> "i'll give you a head massage if you stop ignoring me?"

-> sakusa turned to you, his eyes narrowed in thought as he stared you down

-> the act soon broke, though, and he smiled against the sheet mask that was on his face

-> "it better be a good one," he huffed as he tugged the duck headband off, already sighing at the sensation of your fingers against his scalp

-> "omi, come on, what do you take me for?"

❍ HAIBA LEV

-> ngl lev gives off equal amounts of being terrified of like the tiniest spider or just finding bugs insanely cool vibes

-> it's funnier to imagine this 6-foot-something guy scramble away from a fucking crane fly in terror though so this is how it's going to play out

-> when you invited your giant of a boyfriend to your flat, you didn't anticipate just how small he made everything appear

-> he even towered in your doorway, having to stoop to step through into your hall

-> "woahh, i love your place!"

-> it was his first time staying over for the night, and lev was making sure to drink in every aspect of your interior design

-> you found it sweet of him, and watched as he stared in wide-eyed wonder at the little trinkets you had collected over the years to make your small apartment seem more like a home

-> you didn't expect him to scream at the top of his lungs and practically run back to you, though

-> you jumped at the sound, watching as he scrambled away from your lamp and pointed back at it with a shaking finger

-> you squinted at it, making out the very menacing form of a crane fly as it bumped into the lampshade and continued on its path

-> "lev, you big baby," you giggled, heading to the kitchen to grab a glass and trap it

-> "y/n, don't leave me alone with it!" he yelped, and you rolled your eyes at his antics

-> you came back, smoothly capturing the insect and throwing it out of a nearby window

-> lev was sat on your couch the whole time, hands covering his eyes as he curled in a ball

-> "is it gone?" he asked, and you you giggled at how childlike he was acting at the moment

-> "it's all good, baby" you smoothed his hair and lev gratefully leaned into your touch, a sigh of relief leaving him

-> "thank you, y/n"

-> "i'll get rid of all the bugs in the world for you, lev"

❍ MIYA ATSUMU

-> gives off the vibes that he used to eat bugs as a child i'm sorry but

-> have mercy on his soul lmao

-> so twins are supposed to be identical right?

-> anyone who spends more than a few minutes around the miya twins know that that's a complete fucking lie

-> and you've had the misfortune of being friends with them for a very long time

-> like your mums were friends and you were all born around the same time

-> you've been pulled into their shit before you could walk or talk

-> so you're well aware of just how different these mfs are

-> even though they were both absolute bastards, osamu always had a slightly more mellowed out approach which would always end up with atsumu getting the blame for what they got up to

-> especially as a child, osamu loved to terrorise his twin with the unwilling help of you

-> one of the ways was through osamu exploiting one of his twins' fears

-> that being bugs and spiders

-> he always cackled at the sight of atsumu screaming and trying to run away from him due to the spider he was holding

-> as they both grew up, this became less of a frequent thing for osamu to do

-> you also somehow started dating atsumu, but nobody could exactly pinpoint a moment that signified a beginning to your relationship

-> but since you're dating the world's biggest manchild in disguise, and osamu gets annoyed with atsumu quite easily, you would have to swoop in to rescue him from time to time

-> recently the twins had been getting a little snappy with each other, and it had yet to sort itself out

-> from what you had heard your boyfriend was in the wrong this time, but you still listened to him whine and rant about it

-> you were going to the inarizaki school gym to say hi to your boyfriend and best friend before practice started, only to see absolute chaos unfolding

-> with kita yet to arrive, the twins were effectively unleashed and that much was clear with the way atsumu was practically screaming his head off as he ran around the gym

-> your eyes took in the rest of the players- aran had his head in his hands, suna was snickering with his phone out to record the newest miya twin fight, and osamu's deranged laugh could be heard above everything else as he chased his brother, hand held out in front of him

-> only one thing was capable of making atsumu scream like that, so you already knew what was happening

-> atsumu quickly spotted you hovering in the doorway, and made a beeline to where you were

-> his eyes were panicked, and you were quick to wrap him in a hug as you shot osamu a nasty glare over his shoulder

-> literally this lmfao

-> "that's enough, 'samu"

-> your best friend paused, before a smile spread across his face as he dangled the centipede in front of him

-> "you know it was rubber, right?"

-> you felt your boyfriend tense in your arms and you bit your lip to stifle a small giggle

-> but at least they would be back to normal by the end of today

back to the menu - ,, 🕷 ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[starlightshore]

Angel’s Lullaby update:

i wrote two devlogs this month.

first: i cover the history of Angel’s Lullaby and the current progress.

second: the plans I have for gameplay

TLDR; Angel’s Lullaby is a Open World Action/Turnbased RPG hybrid. You’ll have a small island to explore with 3 main areas and multiple side-quests. For the demo, I plan only having 1 area finished.

Game progress: eh, hard to put a good number on it. main characters and the main overworld are mostly finished, mapping + main area need planning. i’d say a bit less than 50% done with the demo.

below the read me i discuss game development that i’m not talking about on Gamejolt, but feel more comfortable talking here.

so been working with a friend on remaking (well, rather, i’m helping a little but it’s mostly just him,,, i’m not a skilled programmer but at least i’m keeping up with what he’s teaching me ^_^; so thanks to eternal shine, u rock!) the char_player object to work better for Angel’s. also, aside from the outfit code, this main stuff will be added as a pack for TML’s engine for better functionality. hooray! this includes:

adding arrays and macros to dialogue text

cut-scene system (almost done)

char_player state machine (has a couple issues for Angel’s specifically, which is discussed below.)

(WIP) Gameplay wise, I’m going for a Zelda-Like over-world: you can walk, run and attack. Monsters will be on over-world, you can get an advantage if you strike first. You’ll also need your weapon to move around the terrain or solve puzzles. (potentially will add more to the move-set as you progress, but that’s later in the development to consider)

i made a base-player object to fine tune the animation and add details like optional gloves + boots easier for me to add (gotta get into the headspace of using layers more in aesprite!) I’m unsure if I like the dust effect, but I think it helps the running look speedy and feel different to walking!

honestly all this development should of been done before but i was torn between using TML’s base project char object and remaking my own for ages. (plus, i spent the last few months unsure if i was moving to Unity or Godot) but hey, doing that now. i’ve been mainly working on story so its nice to actually start building the game again! the non-player stuff with naming + intro are already done of course, though will need to be remade as I’ve improved as an artist and with the new cut-scene system I can do this more efficiently.

my main plan is to get a prototype of the first 5 minutes of the game done within a week. ideally i’d like to make a fully-polished prototype within that week as well, but that’s idealistic at best... i’m shooting for 2 weeks, though that could easily become 3 weeks.

none of this will be available to play yet btw, after the prototype, i want to be able to get some feedback (heyo if u wanna be a play-tester hmu) then i’ll get to making it so you can get the first “area” mapped out.

my idea is that the above will be playable in the demo. you’ll have a house (to farm and have chores) explore the local woods and mountain area for side quests and just for fun.

the one main area will be the start of the linear story. the final release you’ll have access to the whole island -within reason. The other 2 areas will be soft-locked until you progress the plot in the main area. while this limits the open-world aspect, i like the idea of holding back the choices until certain parts of the game are established first. then you can run around wild! The second and third main areas are your choice to which to do first -and the plot will play out differently depending on that.

There’s still the obvious No Mercy - Neutral - Pacifist choices in play here as well. I’m limiting the scope of this to have the last 2 areas be different, but the overall plot line stays some-what the same. (if i was being paid, that’d be a different story lmao) but still, all of this will add up and hopefully be exciting to experience.

I really want exploration and the feeling that you are living in this world to be the main get-away from the game. while the most important core of the story lies within The Knight and the Player Character, this is my second biggest goal for the game.

I hope you all enjoy Angel’s Lullaby and are as excited as I am to see it progress! thank you so much for all those who’ve been sticking by me and my stories throughout the years. i’m really hoping for a demo release in 2022.

if any mutuals are intrigued by this game’s potential... i’m up for talking story again once this prototype stuff is finished up with. atm i wanna concentrate on making the core game-play feel good and i’m not worried about the story. but once that’s finished, there’s a lot of story problems -that some have been solved by the open-world structure, but just as many glaring issues have arisen. it’s a pretty daunting story now haha.

while i got a few new team members, I’d like a few more people to talk to deeply over this project. It feels great to spit-ball ideas back and forth! but I also understand people are busy and I’ve already asked a lot from people with the rough draft peer-reviews lmao. i guess i’ll just put this here in the off chance something comes out of it.

[stxphxn-strange]

playing pretend

a/n: hello hello hello! i have a prompt fill for this Dark!Stephen AU from @ironstrangeprompts and im just gonna post it before i can start second guessing my writing lmao

tw: mentions of torture, injury, implied past abuse

Prompt: Dark!Stephen AU. The avengers never really notice Stephen’s pacifist to-a-fault superheroing style until one day a magical incident corrupts him/magical entity possesses him. They’re treated to a completely unhinged and lethal Stephen, the avengers realize just how much Stephen was holding back, what with his quick work dispatching all of them, resulting in very heavy injuries. However, he takes special interest with Tony Stark, whom he has been dating for a few months now. He has Tony all strung up in the middle of the battlefield in front of the other broken and beaten avengers, he taunts and tortures him. “Being a doctor and a sorcerer is so very useful, I can break you in very precise manners, put you back together and then do it again.” When he gets bored of Tony’s screams and decides to end him permanently, Stephen suddenly snaps back to normal. The real Stephen has been battling internally to gain back control, knowing that he’s about to kill the love of his life gives him the final push to break free. He portals them all to safety and to receive medical help. Cue heavy angst and Stephen trying to make it up to them but especially Tony, who insists that everything is fine and that he knows it wasn’t the real Stephen. However they both know that Tony is just putting up a brave front and is undoubtedly traumatized by the incident. Up to the author on if they want to end it in a bleak or hopeful tone.

It took Tony a few minutes to register his surroundings when he woke up. He wasn’t lying in a makeshift coffin of bent metal, broken bones, and the ruins of the building. The familiar baritone, the melody of his waking world, wasn’t hollow and cruelly taunting him. Stephen sounded like himself, soothing and loving and reassuring but worried and tired all the same. Tony heard guilt in his partner’s voice, delineating his dream, his memory, from the present. He wanted to follow that voice, the real Stephen’s voice, and leave the past behind them. Guilt was eating away at Stephen as he tried to calm Tony down and wake him up. He defaulted to the standard promises and phrases when Tony had nightmares, but this time was different. This time Stephen was the cause of the nightmare, and he knew it. No matter how much Tony said it wasn’t his fault, that everything was okay, Stephen knew he had to repair the pieces of Tony’s trust he’d obliterated.

Tony thrashed again in his sleep, feebly kicking the air in front of him just like he did on the battlefield. “Stop!”

“Sweetheart,” Stephen began, unsure of what to say. “Tony, wake up. You’re safe, no one will hurt you.”

“Stephen!” Tony groaned and thrashed again, his eyes still shut as he fought to wake up. “This isn’t you… don’t do this.”

Stephen barely held back tears as he spoke again. “It’s over Tony, I’m back. I’m me again. I won’t hurt you, I promise I’ll never hurt you as long as I live.”

Tony was shaking when he finally woke up, unsure if he was even breathing. He opened his eyes hastily, studying the look on Stephen’s face. Stephen looked concerned, even worried, but unsure of himself as he murmured soothing nonsense to Tony.

“Breathe, Tones,” Stephen said. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay, I promise. Just breathe, we’re alright. I’ll leave you be once I’m sure you’re okay, and—”

Tony wrapped his arms around Stephen and hugged him tightly. “Don’t you dare. Don’t go… please don’t go Stephen.”

“I can’t risk scaring you again Tony. I’ve already hurt you enough, it’s not fair to keep putting you through this,” Stephen argued, fighting his urge to hug Tony back.

Tony only held on tighter, determined not to let Stephen leave.

Stephen still wanted to disappear, but he quickly understood that Tony wouldn’t let him go that easily. The mechanic was still shivering and trembling, slowly starting to calm down as Stephen hesitantly hugged him back.

++++

They both woke up at the same time, almost four days later. Stephen woke up slowly, feeling like he was underwater or in a fog, while Tony started awake across town.

It was pitch dark in the room, the heavy curtains drawn shut to keep out any intrusive light. It was the middle of the day, judging by the clock Stephen kept on his nightstand, but he couldn’t feel the sun on his face, or see any light from his window. He was bathing in pitch black. At first, he thought he was dead, doomed to an eternity in darkness, when something red bloomed and came to life beside him. Even now, his Cloak was always dramatic, comforting as it covered him like a blanket.

As his eyes adjusted, Stephen registered Wong and Christine on the other side of the room, just studying him.

Christine was the first to meet his stare, rushing to his bedside. “How do you feel?”

Stephen grimaced in pain as he shrugged. “Not great, thanks.” There was something else on his mind, but he was too afraid to ask. He was almost too scared to hear the answer.

Luckily, Wong spoke up before Stephen could ask. “You slept for three and a half days, Strange. How much do you remember?”

“Something attacked the Compound… I think it was me,” he mumbled.

“Not exactly,” Wong began, gentler than Stephen had ever heard him.

“Possessed or not, I still attacked!” Stephen sat up, paying the price as he rose quicker than his body could handle. “It doesn’t matter if I saved everyone, not if I almost killed them first.”

Neither Wong nor Christine spoke, and the cloak simply wrapped tighter around Stephen’s shoulders.

“You did save everyone,” Wong said finally. “And you banished whatever entity possessed you. We still haven’t figured out what it is, but…”

Wong’s voice trailed off as Stephen stopped listening. His head started to hurt as he remembered, in searing detail, more of what happened and what caused him to snap out of the state he was in.

Tony was near silent, his voice failing him after hours of tortured screams. Somewhere, somehow, Stephen knew that he was the one hurting him, the one causing Tony so much pain even though he promised never to hurt the hero. He wanted to stop, to end all of the carnage he’d brought to the Compound, to his friends who were starting to feel like family, to Tony… but he couldn’t. The hand controlling his impulsive strings was strong and steady, and it wouldn’t rest until Stephen finished its bidding.

His movements were mechanical as he strode, like the marionette he’d become, to stand in front of Tony.

And Tony just looked at him with a defeated, almost calm look on his face.

Stephen’s voice sounded distorted when he spoke, preening with a twisted smile as he bent to look upon the man of iron. “Accepted your fate?”

“You won’t be the first person I’ve loved who’s hurt me,” Tony said, between pained breaths. “There’s nothing to say.”

Stephen tried to back up, to keep himself still, but he couldn’t fight the influence of his controller and struck Tony again. “Arrogance is unbecoming.”

Tony inhaled again, deeper and more pained this time but somehow even calmer. “Go ahead and finish the job. I won’t hold it against you, Stephen.”

Stephen was hyperventilating when he heard Wong’s voice again, pressed against the headboard of his bed like he was backed into a corner.

Christine approached him tentatively, resting her hand on one of his shoulders.

Stephen recoiled away from the touch and curled up on himself like a turtle retreating in its shell. He ducked his head under a pillow, shaking in fear and pain from moving too quickly. “Did I… did I kill him? I remember everything until I was about to… please tell me I—”

“You didn’t.” Christine cut him off, hoping to keep her friend from spiraling further. “Wong said you saved everyone, and that includes Tony.”

Stephen sobbed just hearing his partner’s name. Guilt wracked his entire body as he cried harder and harder, his magic running through his veins. Was he not this exhausted, he’d probably set fire to something from his high levels of stress and fear, but all he could do was cry until he fell into painful sleep.

++++

He didn’t finish it.

He didn’t listen.

Tony remembered the horrified look he saw on Stephen’s face, the remorse in his eyes as he sent a vaguely corporeal figure of dark energy through a portal.

Tony remembered the way Stephen apologized again and again as his eyes started closing, overwhelmed by the pain seizing his mind and body. A part of him hoped that Stephen had listened, that maybe the last thing he’d see in this life would be the face he’d come to absolutely adore…

… But he’d woken up sometime later in the MedBay, wanting to see Stephen more than anything. In spite of everything that’d just happened, or maybe because of everything that’d just happened, all Tony really wanted was to go back to sleep, preferably in his partner’s embrace. That really didn’t seem like too much to ask for.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Stark?”

Tony almost didn’t notice Peter pacing around on the ceiling, in fact he didn’t know his pseudo son was even in the room until he suddenly landed a few feet away. “I feel great, Kid. Definitely not like I took a ton of bricks to the face.” He didn’t remember the gory details of the fight, so Tony couldn’t say whether or not he was being literal.

“Welcome back, Boss,” FRIDAY said, a hint of worry in her voice. “And good morning. It’s currently half nine on Tuesday. I’ve been asked to inform you that Col. Rhodes has returned from Washington and has volunteered to lead all reconstruction projects for the Compound. He’s also asked me to keep you updated and will be coming to see you this afternoon.”

Tony sighed. “Thank you. Wait… that means Rhodey came back early?”

“He did,” FRIDAY replied simply. Her voice sounded like what a nod looked like as she continued. “Would you like me to tell him that you asked about him?”

“Sure, but don’t bother him. He doesn’t have to rush to see me,” Tony replied, knowing that Rhodey would probably come anyway. He was maybe the one exception to what Tony had told Stephen earlier, before…

“Col. Rhodes will be here within the hour,” FRIDAY announced.

“Thanks Fri.”

Peter, who had started pacing on the ceiling again, asked what Tony had been wondering since he woke up. “Where’s the Doc?”

“I dunno, Pete. I’ve been wondering that myself,” Tony admitted. “Fri, you wouldn’t happen to know… would you?”

“As far as I can tell, Doctor Strange returned to the Sanctum following the… altercation… on Thursday,” the AI reported.

“What? Altercation? What happened?” Peter landed on the floor again, looking more worried than Tony thought he deserved to.

“There was just a small wizarding mishap, don’t worry about it,” Tony said. He shrugged, trying to reassure Peter as much as he could. “Not even an emergency, Underoos. We would’ve called for you if it was.”

Tony also didn’t want Peter to see what happened. Maybe he was sheltering the kid, but he didn’t want Peter to ever find out about the attack on the Compound. It was bad enough that the team, even in their varied states of consciousness, saw what they did. They saw the fear in Tony’s eyes, saw him slowly surrender to Stephen’s ruthless attacks until he just stopped trying to fight the sorcerer. Tony knew he couldn’t parry these magical attacks, couldn’t break the spelled restraints… but he didn’t want Peter to see how easily he’d given up.

If Peter had more to say, he simply chose not to ask about it. Instead he just shrugged. “Glad you’re okay, Mr. Stark. May heard from Pepper that you got hurt, so I wanted to swing by… no pun intended.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that calling me ‘Tony’ is fine?” Tony asked, rolling his eyes warmly. “I’m fine, Pete. Not up for working in the lab today, I’m afraid, but—”

“That’s okay! My suit isn’t going anywhere, we can upgrade anytime,” Peter replied. “I promised May I’d be home for movie night, but I just wanted to come see you.”

Tony smiled softly. “You’re a good kid, Son. Get home safe, and I’ll give you a call when I’m back in working condition.”

“Thanks IronDad!” Peter was gone in a second, leaving Tony in the quiet with his thoughts.

“Fri?” He asked after a few minutes.

“Still here, Boss.”

“Will you… will you tell Stephen I want to see him?” Tony asked.

Maybe he was the spoiled brat everyone believed, or maybe he was exhausted and touch starved and showing signs of an addictive personality. Tony didn’t know, he didn’t care, and he just wanted his sorcerer back.

“I’ll let him know,” FRIDAY replied, softer than normal.

++++

“Stephen, it’s been days. Days since the attack, days since you holed yourself up in my library like you’re going into hibernation—”

“Good morning to you too, Wong.”

Wong may have laughed at Stephen’s attitude if he didn’t feel so bad for him. Stephen was completely out of it, so much so that he didn’t even realize how late in the day it was. “It’s almost eight, Strange.”

Stephen just sighed. “Did you need something from me?”

“Stark is asking for you again. I think you should see him.”

“You said that yesterday,” Stephen muttered.

“I’m saying it again now. I know you, Stephen, I can read you like any book in here.” Wong began. “You’re trying to outrun your guilt but you know it’s not that easy. Ignoring Tony isn’t going to make things go away, and it’s not going to make either of you feel better. He misses you, and I know you miss him too.”

“I don’t know how I can even look at him after what I did… he trusted me,” Stephen whispered, looking down at his lap. “I broke his trust.”

“Not willingly, and he knows that,” Wong reminded him. “It wasn’t you, Stephen.”

Stephen ignored him, beginning to tremble as he thought back to what Tony had said to him. “He told me he wouldn’t hold it against me… that I wasn’t the first of his loved ones to hurt him. I don’t know what I could do or say to prove to him, let alone to the team, that I’d never hurt them again.”

“Hiding away in here isn’t helping to prove that,” Wong said.

“You just want your chair by the window back,” Stephen accused him.

“Of course I do! But I also care about you and your happiness. If you need anyone to vouch for you, I’ll be here,” Wong replied.

“That sounds like you’ve made up my mind for me.”

“I have. Go now, before it gets too late.”

Stephen opened a portal to the tower, just outside of the lab. “I doubt Tony would be asleep, he’s always awake.”

His suspicions were confirmed as he closed the portal. Tony was in his lab where Stephen thought he’d be, a mug in one hand and a pen in the other.

Stephen’s entire body trembled with nerves as he opened the door, the cloak knocking loudly and dramatically to make his presence known.

“FRIDAY, Quiet Place Protocol please,” Tony said. He looked up and smiled sadly at Stephen as the lab’s usual blaring music shut off. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Stephen suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. He was too scared to get any closer to Tony, afraid to hurt him, but at the same time all he wanted was to hug him.

The cloak made the first move, flying off of his shoulders and resting on Tony’s.

“Aww, hi Levy.” Of course Tony had a nickname for the relic, he had nicknames for everything and everyone.

Stephen found it annoying in the most heartwarming way, and he couldn’t help but smile as Tony sat down at his workbench.

“You can come over, you know?” Tony asked, half teasingly. “I told you I don’t bite, Steph.”

Stephen felt like a marionette again as he walked towards his boyfriend, but his heart was in control this time. He wanted to protect, to cherish, and to spoil the man in front of him with nothing but love and attention. He was just afraid, still unsure of himself as he studied Tony’s face. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey… I know.” Tony opened his palms on his lap, silently asking to hold Stephen’s hands.

Stephen let him, trembling harder as Tony held him gently. “I don’t know what happened, Tony. Something took over me, and I couldn’t stop it. I’ve never been overpowered like that before, and I didn’t know what to do. But please listen when I say that I promise it’ll never happen again, I mean that’s a given if you leave me, but—”

“I’m not leaving you,” Tony said firmly. “I know you weren’t voluntarily doing all of those things.”

“I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I still don’t want to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.”

“Tony…” Stephen took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Tony I could’ve killed you. The entire time I was trying to break the curse, to get that thing out of my system, I almost killed you. And you almost let me do it.”

“I did.”

Stephen didn’t know what to say. Tony had that calm, accepting look on his face mixed with a kind, trusting expression. It was the same look he’d given Stephen in the ruins of the Compound, and it hurt. It didn’t feel like an apology would be enough to make things right, but what else was there to do now? “I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony slid his arms around Stephen’s waist and pulled him into the hug they’d both been needing. “I’m fine baby, it’s okay. It’s over.”

Stephen knew it wasn’t just over, and he knew Tony knew it too. But in the moment he was too fatigued to fight about it and let Tony hold him closer. “Have you been sleeping?”

“Trying to,” Tony replied. “Not to be cheesy or whatnot, but I do sleep better with you next to me.”

“May I take you to bed?” Stephen asked, sounding even shyer than when he normally asked that. “Please? I know it’s early, but I wouldn’t object to a nap.”

Tony nodded, shifting to press a chaste kiss to Stephen’s lips. “That sounds nice. FRIDAY, save and shut everything off please.”

“Engaging ‘You Shall Not Pass’ protocol, Boss,” FRIDAY reported dutifully.

Tony scoffed. “Remind me to never let you and Peter give Fri name suggestions again.”

“You could just change it if it bothers you that much.” Stephen chose to remind Tony of that instead, even though they both knew Tony was secretly fond of the movie references hidden in his protocols. “Besides, that serves you right for calling me Gandalf all the time.”

“If the shoe fits, babe,” Tony said. He stood up, keeping an arm wrapped around Stephen’s waist as they left the lab and headed for the elevators.

Despite feeling safe and loved in Tony’s arms, more than he could have ever hoped to be and probably more than he deserved, Stephen was still anxious. He felt out of place in the Tower, never mind the fact that he usually spent half of his time there, and he felt even more out of place amongst the team.

“How are the others?” He asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer.

“They’re getting better.” Tony saw no point in sugarcoating the truth. Stephen would see right through it, and that wouldn’t help him process everything. “Carol and Thor are both bored of training with each other, but no one else wants to spar with either of them yet. Or with Natasha, for that matter.”

“Does anyone ever want to spar with them on a good day?” Stephen asked, trying to keep the mood light.

“You’re all a bunch of sore losers who can’t rise to a friendly challenge” Natasha quipped, suddenly materializing in front of the couple. “Tony, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why is he here?”

“Natasha, I—”

Natasha pointedly ignored Stephen. She never disliked the sorcerer, she was actually indifferent and had no issues telling Tony that, but Tony’s trustful, rather soft nature was a concern of hers. It worked in her favor, sure, but she was really trying to be a better friend to Tony and look out for him more. It was this concern that motivated her to look at Stephen with disgust. Natasha wasn’t scared of him, she took heavy damage in the attacks but it was more minimal compared to some of the things she’d put his friends and family through.

Tony was acting as if none of that happened, and that couldn’t stand.

Natasha frowned and glared at Stephen as she addressed Tony. “Tony what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m not—”

“Don’t play dumb and tell me you’re not following. What are you still doing with him? You barely sleep more than an hour without waking everyone up screaming from phantom pain and nightmares! Do you think we can’t hear you yelling and begging for Stephen to stop torturing you and just kill you? Because we all do!” Natasha took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And after all that, you’re holding him like nothing is wrong? I don’t understand how you can be so forgiving sometimes.”

She stormed off before Stephen could defend himself or before Tony could respond. Her words echoed in Stephen’s head as Tony continued to lead him down the hallway, into the elevator, and into the penthouse.

Stephen sat dejectedly on the bed as Tony shuffled around the room, grabbing a few blankets from the closet. He didn’t say anything as Tony made a little nest of pillows and blankets, the cloak joining the haphazard pile the minute Tony curled up under a throw. Eventually Stephen allowed himself to lay down, offering no protests as Tony hugged him again.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again, mumbling into the soft fabric of Tony’s shirt.

“I know,” Tony said simply. “Relax sweetheart, it’s okay.”

He was still tense, curling up smaller in Tony’s arms. “Are you okay?” The sorcerer asked.

“I’m fine,” Tony reassured him. That was half true. He was fine, to a point, but there were things bothering him that he had no idea how to tell Stephen about.

Eventually they would have to face the music and talk about everything, and they both knew it. For now, Tony was somewhat okay with ignoring it, clinging to the hope that having his Stephen back would keep the memories at bay.

Tags: @stark-strange-love2 @salty-ironstrange-shipper @funkylittlebidiot @richieleeparker @chocopiggy @hatakehikari @taruyison 

[crab-in-a-pocket]

reserved farmer headcanons + meeting the bachelors for the first time!

wanted to make some generally reserved farmer headcanons to kick off this blog and bc i see a lot of very friendly farmers out there and i... am not one of them LMAO

additionally, there's reference to a supposed volatile relationship with a (former?) loved one (projection time!)

also i forgot to open my askbox bc idk how to tumblr ?? i think it's open now (i hope).

tw: drinking and alcoholism, references to past trauma, one Bad Word (sh^t!)

when you first meet everyone, it's a quiet greeting and maybe a witty remark, but you don't stay for any chit-chat

close-lipped smiles are your signature move, along with the Man Nod whenever you run into someone

you are, of course, a nice and courteous person but you don't feel the need to say hello to everyone every damn time you pass by them because, really, you're too busy rushing to Pierre's for some seeds or lugging around foraged beach stuff

okay, maybe some of them think you're a little cold and an introvert who has... problems

but you're not! you are a strong and emotionally stable farmer who gets Shit Done and prefers to observe over participate and think over talk!

mayor lewis is extremely puzzled and almost mistakes you for someone else-- it's been over a decade and people change too much, too soon. he makes a remark about a wishing well your grandfather had built long ago (remember the well? how you fell in it that one time?) and you nod along politely (i didn't fall, i climbed in because i desperately needed my wish to come true)

it's nice to meet people who aren't as temperemental as the tides. maybe, for once, you could have a proper relationship with someone.

alex

easily the most annoying and extroverted person in town what with his obsession with sports and loud, brash personality but you two get along fabulously because you had that same passion for gridball in college before you were too busy being a corporate slave

he's a little surprised that you sit next to him at the saloon but he goes along easily and the conversation flows between the two of you easily, ranging from future plans (thinking of going pro... think i'll make it?) to the weather without sounding like you're making fake smalltalk (i wanted to play pro, too, and here i am now. if you really want it, you'll have to leave this all behind)

there's something genuine about him that's intriguing and it leaves you wanting to find out and see what the real alex is like inside because you can see through that wall he's made

and there's something enigmatic about you, who is reserved and quiet and seems to be a simple open book, when in fact, you are a very attractive onion with many, many layers

sam

you think he's immature. a wildchild, a manchild, a wildmanchild, really. sam, on the other hand, is drawn in by your calmness and how in-control you appear to be-- when you offer to play a game of pool when sebastian doesn't show up, he's delighted at the opportunity to know you better

okay, so he is immature and a wildmanchild but there is a softness in him that surprises you every time he shows it-- which is frequently around you

he has a soft smile to counteract his proud one and he's so in awe of how you get so much stuff done every day (i don't know how you do it, that's gotta be tough), every week, and every month (you'd like the responsibility, i think. to me, it's one big project i need to finish)

he has instant crush on you because you're so cool even though your line of profession really doesn't evoke much awe. i mean, you're  attractive, you are so in control of your life, and you have a really cute smile whenever he compliments you-- how could he not?

shane

bit bold of you to sit next to him at the saloon because every knows he's can be a real asshole, but he glances at you with a hint of awe and more than a hint of annoyance. you elect to ignore this and choose to order a whisky on the rocks (if you don't drink, call it apple juice)

whisky: shane's a touch impressed because you look like a lightweight. well, it's nice that someone can hold their liquor. he makes a remark about it (planning on getting drunk, huh?) and you raise a brow at him, looking a little haughty and tell him that it's your drink for the week. he's annoyed at your remark and starts an argument that surprisingly, settles down into a civil conversation

apple juice: he snorts at that and makes a remark about meeting penny for your lessons the next day. you play along and sip at your drink, making witty remarks (thank yoba for hangovers. it's the non-drinker's edge, really. just like not having liver failure). he's not sure if he should be annoyed or impressed at your cool-as-a-cucumber personality, not sure if it's too big city or too closed-off

you offer to buy him a pizza if you can take a away his beer-- at any rate, he looks like he'll end up with liver failure the way he's going. shane aquiesces and devours the entire pizza. your conversation is slow and punctuated with his loud chewing but you're pleasantly suprised that he's quite smart and well-read about whatever you're interested in

the fourth time you sit next to him, he turns down your pizza and doesn't say a word. neither do you and it's almost like it's back to square one until you realize that he hasn't made a single salty remark about anything. you decide to try again the day after tomorrow-- nothing comes too quickly to people like you and shane.

sebastian

it was the necklace you wore that caught his eye. a shining teardrop stone hanging off a gleaming silver chain. he had spoken before he could stop himself and watched as you smiled and told him he was right-- it is supposed to be a Yeti's tear.

you're pleased to meet someone who is also a homebody and a touch more reserved than a lot of other people in town. he's easy to get along with (oh, you're kidding, you really have the signed edition?) and he's got pretty good taste when it comes to literature-- after all, who can refuse a good sci-fi book? (of course i do, i'm dedicated fan)

oddly enough, your conversation is quick and eager and not all reserved. instead of the companionable silence everyone assumes you two to have, you two nearly talk over each other because you finally have someone to complain to about everyone's over-friendliness and he finally has someone who understands what it's like to be trapped in a small world

you tease him about the corporate rat race and he fires back at you about being a part of it. you like sebastian and he likes you-- it's as simple as that.

elliot

he had heard of you through leah who had heard of you through emily who had heard of you through gus who had heard of you from lewis. it was a long grapevine and he's not sure how much of the truth was preserved and it's almost a relief to meet you because, to be frank, he's tired of being the town's newcomer.

first-- you're not peppy and overly cheerful at all. second, you are definitely not hot-tempered. and third, there's something so fascinating about you, something hidden under your calm, pragmatic character. he finds a kindred spirit in you, save for the flowery words and, admittedly, the vanity.

you're amused to meet a writer living on the beach. the cabin was built by one of your grandfather's old friends, a rather surly man who had taken a liking to you when you were much younger. while the hut is in no way fancy, you can't help but consider how pretentious and, contrastingly, humble the writer must be. pretentious in such a way that he thinks living in a sandy, damp shack is a way to beat writer's block (it's odd, it's rarely a choice people make) and humble in such a way that he accepts and bears with living in a worn house with little complaint (it's admirable, if not a little silly!)

you find yourself in his company late at night when you can't sleep and it's so easy to open up to him because he's kind, he listens, and most importantly, he's not embarassed to admit he's got faults, at least to you. you let him see past your collected facade and into your cracked heart far sooner than you think and elliot doesn't mind at all

harvey

you might be the most mysterious person in town simply because of the way you present yourself. he finds himself always stuttering a little whenever you're around because of the way you watch him, set in a relaxed stance, your gaze flat and cool. later, he realizes that it's your resting face. he wonders about what you'd look like if you smiled-- really smiled

he's touched at the fact that you buy him coffee whenever he had to patch you up-- which is frequently, given your liking for the mines. you're adorable when he gives you general anesthesia. he had run out of local anesthesia and you needed a fair amount of stitches and though you told him that you have a high pain tolerance (stitches are far more painful than you think. i really don't want to put you through that), he insisted and you let him (fine, fine. get on with it, doctor). you had let out several inappropriate jokes under anesthesia and your cheeks had hurt from laughing non-stop

harvey's entranced. there's no other way to put it-- he's bewitched by your bright character hiding under that collected facade. he never pries for your secrets because he's got secrets, too. you like harvey because he's sweet and compassionate and even though he has to put up a firm, professional affectation, he wears his heart on his sleeve.

you see him as a friend at first, all platonic and it seems to be the end of it. but one day, as you hand him a coffee, he laughs and smiles and hands you a coffee just the way you like it. you're falling for him so hard and fast you think someone's put a spell on you that makes you notice the minute expressions on his face and mull over the way he talks to you. you're in love with him-- you can only hope he feels the same way too

[winterscaptain]

anyway we could get a worried!hotch blurb when you’re in the hospital after getting injured? i’m a sucker for anything fluffy with hotch

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

i LOVE worried!hotch. i am always happy to oblige, anon! this is.........not a drabble lmao i got excited. its a little angsty but then its really cute i promise 

i hope you like it!! it’s a common scenario with a widely accepted structure, so i was excited to put my own spin on it :)

words: 1939 warnings: swearing, canon-typical injury, medical setting, a very worried hotch

masterlist | requests closed

+++

You weren’t sure how this case slipped from the team’s control so quickly, but somehow you were alone, on the floor with two black eyes and at least three broken ribs. It was hard to breathe, and something really didn’t feel right. 

The unsub was unconscious beside you, felled by a well-placed kick to the jaw. You crawled to your cell phone. Slowly. Painfully. 

The coughs that shuddered from your lungs were wet and heavy and you could barely see. You turned your phone on and called Penelope, falling unconscious before you could say anything. With any luck, she would be able to find you with just that much. 

+++

Hotch’s knuckles were white where his fingers strangled the steering wheel. His only focus was the coordinates he just received. Ignored was Emily’s death grip on the handle above the door. Ignored was JJ leaning into the front over the center console, getting more tactical information from Derek, who was still at the precinct. Ignored was the ache in his clenched jaw. 

The door to the house nearly fell off its hinges when Hotch kicked it open, the SUV forgotten on the lawn behind him. Emily followed, striding through the house and clearing every room before moving on. 

Hotch made a beeline for the basement, the door carelessly left open. The lack of sound acutely disturbed him, and he pushed away images of Haley’s body, laying silent on the floor of their guest room. 

Silence, he knew, often meant unpleasant surprises. 

JJ’s light footsteps followed behind him as he descended. He saw the unsub right away, stirring at the foot of the stairs. JJ branched off, checking the unsub’s pulse before rolling him over and cuffing him. She called for Emily, but the rushing in Hotch’s ears made it hard to hear anything. 

He knelt beside you, finding a pulse and rattling, labored breathing. There was blood weeping from wounds laced across your side, arm, and thigh. He put pressure on the worst of it, his white button-down a lost cause. stained red to the elbow.

Images of Haley and Kate flashed before his eyes, and blinked them away, violently shaking his head. 

“Call medics! Now!” He lifted your head, supporting it in the crook of his arm as he did his best to cover your wounds with his bare hands.

You coughed, your consciousness returning for a moment, “Aaron.” and there was blood. “Aaron...” 

“You’re okay, honey. It’s okay. I’m here. Medics are on their way, I promise. I love you. You’re okay. I love you.” He wanted that to be what you heard, so you weren’t scared, so you stayed awake. 

So much blood. 

+++

The waiting room was quiet. Hotch sat with his elbows on his knees, blood still spattered on his shirt, staining his hands, streaked across his face. He’d done his best to give the paramedics the space they needed to work, but it was hard to watch as you struggled for breath. 

One of your ribs had punctured a lung, collapsing it. They said surgery would be a couple hours, but there was a good chance you’d make it. “A simple patch,” the nurse said. 

Aaron stared into nothing, his eyes close to crossing as the tiles blurred in front of him. Belatedly, he realized the blur was tears. 

A hand on his shoulder startled him. Dave. 

“It’ll be alright, Aaron.”

He barked a quiet, humorless laugh. His voice was raw when he replied. “How can you know that?” 

“Because I know you.” Dave paused. “And I know there’s more to it than what we all see in the office.”

A bag was dropped at Aaron’s feet, in front of a pair of boots. 

“Hotch, you need to get cleaned up.” Derek’s voice was shockingly gentle. 

Aaron looked up for the first time in what felt like hours. JJ, Spencer, and Emily stood a little off to the side. With a sigh, he heaved himself to his feet and snatched the bag from the floor. 

It was hard for him to wash your blood from his hands and face. It felt like a piece of you, washing down the drain. His hands shook as he washed them over and over, well above his elbows. 

As much as he hated to admit it, the soft grey cotton of his shirt felt much better against his skin than his sticky, stiff dress shirt. He mechanically slipped on a pair of worn jeans and sneakers, thankful he thought to pack them in the extra compartment of his go bag.

One of your sweatshirts was at the bottom of the duffle, probably from the last time you spent an unsanctioned night in his hotel room. 

He held it to his face, your familiar smell overwhelming his senses. When he placed your sweatshirt back into his bag and packed away his soiled clothes, his hands weren’t shaking so much. His breath came easier. 

The air conditioning felt cool against his bare arms when he finally left the bathroom, returning to the huddle in the corner of the waiting room. JJ was doing her best not to pace. She was seated, her leg bouncing and the inside of her cheek firmly planted between her teeth. She looked ready to jump to her feet at any moment, which probably explained – 

Derek, sitting beside her, his arm looped through hers and his legs splayed out before him. 

Dave sat with his head bowed, and Hotch was near-certain he was praying. Emily sat beside him, her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn’t sleeping. Her brows were far too drawn for that, her mouth too tense. She was picking at her nails. Again. 

Spencer, of course, was reading, but he couldn’t sit still. He shifted and shuffled every few minutes. 

+++

“Goddamn it.”

Hotch smacked the vending machine with the heel of his hand. It had already eaten five dollars, and his patience was admittedly running thin. It was the fourth hour of your surgery, and he was feeling the weary weight of constant vigilance.  

“Hey. Hotch.” Emily trotted up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Let me.” 

She gently fed another bill into the machine, and a bag of chips met their match and landed at the bottom. She handed the bag to Aaron and guided him to a nearby bench.  

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you two, or should I take a guess?”

Aaron sighed and pulled a hand down his face. “Do we have to do this right now?”

“It’s as good a time as any. Neither one of us are going anywhere.” 

“Prentiss...” He trailed off, not sure where to start. He looked over at her. “Emily.”

She shuffled closer to him and mirrored his posture, her elbows resting on her knees, fingers loosely laced. “Just start from the beginning.” 

So he did. 

He told her about meeting you in the elevator for the first time. 

He told her about the way you tripped up the stairs just outside the entrance to the office the second time you saw each other, your files scattering on the snow-dusted concrete. 

He told her about the way you made him laugh. 

He told her about your first date a few months later, and how he couldn’t get you out of his head. 

He told her how you were with Jack, how often his son asked to see you and the way you always gave him your full attention.

He told her about your transfer into the unit, the dichotomy between the joy of having you beside him and the fear for your safety in the field. 

He told her that he loved you, in so many words. 

“I feel alive,” he said. “I can’t lose –“ He cut himself off and swallowed thickly. 

“That’s not gonna happen. It’s not. You’ll both go home at the end of this.” She bumped his shoulder playfully. “And I am the authority on near-death experiences, here.” 

Aaron gave her a small smile in spite of himself. 

Emily stood and brushed imaginary crumbs from her pants in an authoritative and decisive fashion. “Now, I’m getting you some coffee. Eat your chips, Hotch. Try to taste them, too.”

She’d only taken three steps, when - 

“Hey, Emily?”

She turned over her shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

+++

You opened your eyes to the image of Derek sitting next to your bed, peering at you. 

“Jesus Christ, Morgan.” You couldn’t help but jump a little, and your ribs twinged. “You scared the shit out of me.” 

He grinned at you. “So. You and Hotch?”

You rolled your eyes, and even that hurt. “Seriously? How long have you been sitting there waiting to ask me that?”

“Three and a half hours.” 

You opened your mouth to retort, but Aaron stepped in before you could draw breath. You watched him as he crossed the room with purpose and set his coffee down. 

Ignoring Derek entirely, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your lips, then your forehead. He took your hands in his and pressed kisses to those, too. 

“Feeling better?” He asked. The transformation of the man who walked through the door and the man that held your hands was stark. His eyes were softer, brighter, his shoulders lower. 

You nodded, smiling fondly at him. “Much better, now.”

A noisy sigh erupted behind you. “Guys...c’mon.”

You looked back over at Derek with a smile, the shadow of Aaron looming over your shoulder.

+++

At the end of it, you were fine. Your lung was repaired (for the most part), your wounds mended. The hardest part was taking time off, and the physical therapy. 

Physical therapy sucked. 

Most afternoons found you spending time with Jack at the apartment. As soon as your arm was strong enough to manage a controller again, you spent hours playing his favorite games with him while the team was away on cases. 

Your office at home had become essentially a satellite BAU hub. The team phoned you in to almost every case, and you took a great amount of joy curating maps and profiles from your office. The display was rather beautiful, at the end of it. Notes and photos and maps all over the walls. 

There were footsteps behind you as you finished pinning a post it to the board. “Hi, jet-setter.” You turned around and quirked a smile at him, admiring him in one of his new suits. He walked toward you, leaving his briefcase at the door. 

He framed your face with his hands and you leaned into him. He kissed you gently, and you slid your hands under his suit jacket. The light, spicy scent of his cologne hit your nose and you smiled against his mouth. 

“I missed you out there,” he said, his lips traveling down your neck and jaw. 

You huffed a laugh, and you planted your hands in his hair. “I was on video with Penelope the whole time.” 

He hummed into your skin. “Not the same and you know it.” He pulled back, running his hands over your upper arms. 

You watched him take stock of you, his eyes tracing over the scars on your forearm, your pinkie that wouldn’t quite sit straight anymore, and the nebulizer on your desk behind you. “I’m alright, Aaron.”

He kissed your cheek and wrapped his arms around you, holding you to his chest. “I know.” Your hands curled around the fabric of his dress shirt at his sides. He tucked his head and pressed his lips to your skin. “I know.”

+++

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[you-didnt-see-that-cuming]

Soft Touches | Draco Malfoy x Reader Part One

Summary: When Y/N had first met Harry and Ron on the train, she would have never thought that that interaction would have led to years of adventures and near-death experiences. Throughout their time at Hogwarts, several things had become clear. First, there will be at least one thing that tries to kill you a year. Second, Draco Malfoy was Harry’s archenemy. Third, no matter how hard she tried, Y/N still had just as big a crush on the blond as the first day they met. Harry and Ron would never let her live that one down while Hermione was at least a little understanding. Y/N knew that some of the things that Draco had done were horrible, and she would probably never forgive him for the things he had said to Hermione. And yet, she still liked him.

Warnings: No warnings yet!

Words: 1779

AO3 Link

Masterlist

A/N: Lmao I’m back and I’ve been on draco tiktok

As expected, being a fifth year student was far more stressful than anyone could have imagined. Not only did they have the O.W.L.s to study for, but ever since Umbridge had been brought on as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, you had to practically teach yourself if you wanted a proper defense theory. At this rate, a muggle would probably know more about defense against dark magic. Either you practiced on the weekends, which almost no one aside from Hermione did, or during free periods.

It was only a few weeks from Halloween and autumn was in full swing. The grounds were painted with trees that held an array of yellow, orange, and gold leaves and there was a strong smell of bonfire, hot cider, and butterscotch that wafted across the hills during the day. On late afternoons, when the air was crisp and the sky slightly darker than what it had been during the first month of term, the courtyards and hills near the Black Lake were the perfect places for students to relax.

Y/N was sitting on the sill of one of the arches that opened into the courtyard, writing in a leatherbound journal with her green quill when one of her textbooks slipped out of the opening of her bag and smacked onto the stone floor below. She had barely registered the sound when someone had reached down and picked it up, extending their hand to her. Y/N’s eyes followed the line up the owner of the hand’s toned arm until she had reached their face. 

Instead of Draco’s usual sneer, there was no wrinkle between his brow, and his features were soft. Her hand slowly extended to meet his, and their fingers brushed against one another as she grasped the book. His startling blue eyes were veiled with an unreadable expression.

She was still too shocked to say anything, but the corner of her lips turned up slightly in a silent thank you. Draco stared for a few more seconds before his hand fell back down to his side and he turned, striding down the empty corridor. Y/N stared at his retreating figure. He wasn’t wearing his robes, despite the crisp chill that hung in the air, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying his forearms and the distinct veins that ran across his skin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was nearly nightfall when Hermione had found her, still staring at the end of the corridor, deep in thought. 

“Where have you been? It’s time for dinner, Harry and Ron have already started without us.” Hermione questioned softly. Y/N turned her head, looking a little dazed.

“I’ll tell you later tonight, in the dormitories.” Hermione tilted her head and smiled a little.

“Knowing you, you’ve probably been out here for hours. Come on, before Ron eats all the best parts.” She stretched her hand out and pulled Y/N from her seat. Together, they walked arm in arm to the Great Hall, taking in the setting sun through the tall window panes and the lingering chill that had swept over Hogwarts over the past few days. 

It was getting colder, and the Winter recess was creeping closer day by day. As the two girls walked to the Great Hall, all they could smell as they walked through the open-air corridors was birch smoke coming from Hagrid’s hut and cold air. Y/N breathed deeply and sighed contentedly. She was convinced that there was absolutely nothing better than autumn at Hogwarts, and not even Professor Umbridge could spoil that. 

The second they opened the door to the Great Hall, it was like being hit by a wall of warmth, light, and the wonderful smells of the banquet. Y/N finally snapped out of the haze she had been in all afternoon once she realized how hungry she truly was. Hurriedly, the two of them sat down on the bench across from Ron and Harry, both of whom were animatedly discussing the upcoming quidditch game against Slytherin. They were discussing different strategies to use, especially since the Slytherin team was notorious for cheating. 

Y/N had joined the Gryffindor team as a Chaser only a year after Harry had and had experienced her fair share of Slytherin fouls to last a lifetime. Y/N caught sight of some serving platters and began serving herself along with Hermione. 

“So what were you doing all day? I haven’t seen you since breakfast this morning.” Y/N asked as she filled the corner of her plate with mashed potatoes. 

“Isn’t the answer obvious? She was in the library of course, where else would she be?” Ron interjected as he stole a roll of bread off of Hermione’s plate. Evidently he and Harry were done talking about quidditch, Ron had piled loads of food on his plate and Harry was stuffing chicken into his mouth. The two started to bicker until Ron shoved the entire roll into his mouth. 

Y/N was watching amused as Ron tried to speak around the bread roll when a flash of blond hair caught her eye. Just over Ron’s shoulder, Draco was just beginning to sit down next to Pansy Parkinson who was absorbed in a conversation with Blaise Zabini who sat across from her. Draco and Y/N’s eyes met briefly before both of them shifted their gazes. Hermione paused for a moment, looking at Y/N and then to Draco before a subtle look of realization dawned across her face. Suddenly, she switched the conversation to their History of Magic paper that was due by the end of the week.

“What have you two chosen for your topics?” Hermione questioned, making Harry and Ron freeze. They obviously hadn’t chosen a topic yet, let alone begun writing. 

“Erm, well… Here’s the thing Hermione-” Ron had begun stammering when Hermione cut him off.

“What is wrong with you? Professor Binns assigned this paper over two weeks ago!”

“I haven’t had time, I’ve had quidditch practice nearly every day and Snape hasn’t exactly eased up on Potions assignments, has he?” Harry defended himself, poking at a carrot on his plate and avoiding Hermione’s gaze. 

“Harry, I’ve been at the exact same quidditch practices as you and I’m almost finished with my paper. I’m writing about Grindelwald’s rise to power. You need to find a topic and fast!” Y/N said pointedly. Ron sat up at the mention of Y/N’s topic. “And no, you cannot use that topic, pick something else!” Ron deflated once again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They eventually finished their dinners, filed out of the Great Hall, and began heading towards Gryffindor Tower. Once they had finally entered through the portrait hole, Hermione grabbed Y/N by the crook of her elbow and pulled her up to their shared dormitories. Once she had shut the door behind them, she whirled around to face Y/N and pointed to her bed.

“Sit. We need to talk.” Hermione walked over and sat across from her. “What was that look that you gave Draco at dinner?”

Y/N looked down at her hands, an embarrassed flush across her cheeks. She was fiddling with the hem of her skirt and refused to look Hermione in the eye.

“Well, earlier today I was by myself writing in the courtyard, and I guess I must have knocked over one of my books because the next thing I know, Draco was just standing there, handing it to me. It felt like I was in a dream, he didn’t say anything, but he looked… different. I don’t really know how to describe it. He looked… soft, almost?” Y/N groaned and threw herself backwards onto the pillows, her legs hanging off the side of the bed. Hermione shifted so that she was lying next to Y/N and facing her.

“Okay,” she said carefully, “what does that mean exactly?”

Y/N paused for a moment in thought. What did it mean? Y/N had never thought about Draco in that way before, and the spark she felt when their fingers brushed together couldn’t have just been her imagination.

“I… don’t know. I don’t really know how to explain it. Whenever I start thinking about it, I feel this squeezing in my chest, like I can’t breathe properly.” Y/N closed her eyes and pictured Draco’s face once again. Hermione also seemed to be lost in thought, but those thoughts were most likely not about how handsome Draco looked with his hair pushed back and his sleeves rolled up. Hermione stretched her hand out and grasped Y/N’s hand.

“Well, I suppose it could be worse. It could have been Goyle handing your book back to you.” The two girls looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Goyle wouldn’t touch a book, let alone read one. In fact, it was unclear of whether or not he could actually read.

Once their laughter had died down and the two were sitting in comfortable silence, a thought dawned upon Y/N.

“You won’t tell Harry or Ron about this, will you? Knowing them, they’ll make a fuss about it and then never let me live it down.” 

Hermione smiled in response.

“‘A fuss’ is a bit of an understatement. ‘What do you mean you fancy Malfoy?! He’s a git!’” Hermione’s impersonation was spot on and the two girls laughed once again.

The two girls then spent the next few hours talking about their classes, Y/N and Harry’s upcoming quidditch match, and making plans for their weekend in Hogsmeade. Y/N wouldn’t have to worry about Draco until the quidditch match, and that wasn’t for another 3 days. So for 3 days, Y/N would avoid him and distract herself with studying for midterm exams and Quidditch practice.

[illfoandillfie]

Pet Names, Double Dates and Other Fiascos

READ PLATONICALLY

Request:  SECOND ARO FIC OH MY GOD !!!! maybe them getting a lil dirty and ben really does a number on reader, so he takes her to mcdonalds or sumn and the waiter says something along the lines of “you’re such a cute couple!” and reader gets really uncomfortable with it maybe??? and ben being taking her home and cuddling her PLATONICALLY and he’s like “it’s ok we don’t need to let anyone else’s opinions affect us”

Pairing: Aromantic!Fem!Reader x Ben Hardy

Summary:  It's (nearly) all fun and games until someone assumes your relationship is romantic.

Warnings: Smut, kitchen sex, floor sex, oral sex (f receiving), a mild hint at choking, vaguely dom!Ben but not intentionally lmao, discussions of aromanticism and queerplatonic relationships, not as dialogue heavy as the first part though. 

Words: 7, 264

A/N: Happy Arospec Awareness Week!! Big thanks to the anon who sent in that request when I asked for ideas for future chapters. I put a little bit of a twist on your idea but it’s fundamentally the same. Also the last scene is one that I’ve been thinking about for literal months now and I finally managed to fit it into a fic! 

As always, if you’re curious about anything to do with aromanticism I am very happy to talk about it and answer questions! 

Taglist:  @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​ @hannafuckingsucks​ @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​ @queenmylovely​ @ilovequeenmorethanyou​ @johndeaconshands​ @borhapbois​ @stardust-galaxies​ @cherries-n-rocknroll​ @scorpiogemini

The day had started off well. You woke with Ben tucked up under your arm, his legs curled up towards his chest since you’d stole the covers as you’d slept. Your face was pressed against the back of his neck and you felt him shift as you sighed sleepily and tried to keep from waking. Squeezing your eyes shut and pretending you hadn’t stirred must have worked because the next thing you knew was waking up to an empty bed and tinkly tapping sounds from somewhere else in the apartment. Groggily you shuffled out from the inviting comfort of the mattress, stretched, and pulled down the hem of the shirt you’d slept in to better cover your otherwise bare thighs before following the noises. You found Ben, still in his pyjamas (well, his boxer briefs) in the kitchen, dropping a couple of toasted waffles onto a plate, humming to himself.

“That for me?” you asked, stifling a yawn. “It can be,” he said, passing the plate to you with a quick kiss on your cheek, “There’s some cut up fruit and the maple syrup out on the coffee table and there’s coffee brewing over there,” “Thanks Benny,” “You’re welcome, Puddin’,” “Puddin’?” “I thought it was cute,” “Very cute.” You laughed as you reached for your coffee, unable to help but smile as you left the room. The first few months of your partnership had taken some adjusting and one thing Ben had decided he would do to make you both feel more at home with the dynamic was to come up with some non-romantic based terms of endearment for you. You’d vetoed things like baby and honey straight away, all of them a little too heavily skewed towards romance, or just reminders of past relationships you’d tried to force yourself into, for you to enjoy them. But, as Ben had said, he liked a good pet name, and he’d seemingly been determined to prove as much, constantly coming up with new things to call you. You, never really one for pet names anyway, mostly stuck with Benny or Benjamin if the situation called for something longer but you had a few other go-tos – things like Pet and Blondie as signs of affection, or Handsome and Tiger when you wanted to make him blush.

A few minutes later Ben joined you on the couch, placing his coffee down beside yours, almost spilling it as he watched the news story that was playing. “Remember we’ve got that double date with Jill and Martin this afternoon,” you said, the memory only just coming to you yourself. “Yeah, what time was that?” “Hang on, I’ll check the chat.” You scrolled through the messages on your phone with one hand while you ate with the other, “uhhh right, yeah, meeting at the bowling alley at 1.30.” “Bowling? Good, better than another shitty movie,” You laughed, “hey the last one they picked wasn’t too bad.” “Yeah I know, just not in the mood for it since I’ve been on set all week. I know if I went to the cinema now I’d just get distracted thinking about all the behind the scenes stuff which isn’t ideal for becoming invested in the story. Plus they’re always choosing romcoms, doesn’t that get annoying for you?” “Not really,” you shrugged, “I mean, do I sometimes wish they’d branch out? Sure. But I enjoy romance in fiction I just don’t need it in my real life. Don’t get me wrong though, very happy to do something different this time.” “How long d’you think we’ll be out?” You shrugged, “A few hours maybe?” “We should pop to the shop on the way back then. You need milk and we could get something nice for dinner.” “Sounds good. Does that mean you’re staying over again tonight?” “I was planning to, yeah. Barely saw you last week so I was hoping to spend all weekend with you to make up for it.” “Bet you regret agreeing to go out with them now,” “Kinda. S’pose it’s too late to cancel though,” “Nah you still could but you know they’ll get stroppy about it and we’ll have to go out with them next week. They don’t have any other couple friends since Neil and Percy split and Bianca took her fella overseas.” “Yeah, wasn’t seriously suggesting it.” “What would the plan have been if we did cancel?” Ben chewed a mouthful of fruit thoughtfully, “you, me, your bed. No need to be too quiet since Sophie’s still out,” he glanced at your roommate’s bedroom door, his eyes swinging back to you as he continued, “Or y’know, we could do a puzzle and listen to music all day, have a cat nap after lunch, whatever.” “You’re cute when you’re being all lazy,” “There would be nothing lazy about it thank you very much,” “Cat naps aren’t lazy?” “You know that’s not the part I was talking about,” “It wasn’t? Then what won’t be lazy,” you tried to hold back a giggle in the middle of your faux confusion but broke when Ben blew a raspberry at you in response.

Nothing more was said about cancelling as you finished your breakfast, though truthfully you probably wouldn’t have minded if Ben had cried off sick and rescheduled the double date. But you both decided that Sunday would be a day for just the two of you to make up for having to spend Saturday afternoon with others. Instead, you spoke of the week just passed and commented on the news still playing on the TV. When you were finished (Ben using the last corner of one of his waffles to swipe the remnant syrup from his plate) you stood and stacked the sticky dishes in your arms. Ben collected the coffee cups and a few other assorted dishes from the previous night, leading the way towards the kitchen and the dishwasher. He loaded his small collection onto the shelves before turning to grab the top plate from the pile you held. A noise of disgust rose from his throat as you held the plate out and he miscalculated the trajectory, his palm landing in a puddle of syrup and fruit juice. You were torn between laughing at his expression and taking the opportunity to toy with him a little but, always ready to tease him, your desire to see him blush won out. Trying not to smile too much, you reached forward and wrapped your hand around his wrist, pulling his palm closer so you could lick the sweet syrup from his skin. Predictably his cheeks turned pink and he pulled his lip between his teeth as you let him go with a laugh. “Bet you’re really wishing we didn’t have to go out now, huh Tiger?” Ben didn’t respond but he did react, his eyes locked on you as he swiped his fingers along the same plate and held them out in offering. Not quite sure where things were heading but very keen on finding out, you leaned forward and let your lips part slightly. He took the action for what it was, an invitation, and trailed his fingertips across your lower lip before slipping them between the two. He watched closely as you sucked his fingers deeper, using your tongue to lick up the sweet residue. There was still an element of novelty with this aspect of your partnership. Still part of you that was intensely aware that it was Ben’s fingers in your mouth. There wasn’t any hesitation though, hadn’t been since that first time when you’d both had to psych yourselves up to actually look at each other naked. But there was a part of your brain that was almost surprised when you found yourselves at the edge of a sexual situation. You suspected he was similarly discombobulated by how easy it was for you to end up there, how frequently playful teasing and friendly jokes turned into hands grasping at bed sheets and breathless moans against sweat-slick skin. He pulled his fingers free from your lips, unwilling or perhaps unable to shift his gaze away from the thin string of saliva that connected them like some kind of erotic spider web that you were both already caught in. You waited to see what he’d do next, feeling your heart race in the pregnant pause so full of potential. And then he moved. You laughed as he grabbed you around the waist and lifted you at the same moment he stepped towards the bench, your legs instinctively wrapping around him. He kissed you too, hungrily, as if it were impossible to resist. You’d looked down at him and suddenly been pulled towards each other, lips meeting with all the force and attraction of a magnetic field. Usually, he would have had a hand against the back of your head or your jaw but carrying you meant both his hands were already occupied so instead you substituted your own, tangling your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck to keep him from pulling away too far. As soon as you were safely positioned on the edge of the bench though his hands were free to fall elsewhere. One pressed against the small of your back as the other squeezed your thigh, encouraging you to keep your legs spread. Not that you could have closed them with Ben standing between them and not that the thought had even crossed your mind.

If you’d had all day Ben probably would have taken his time with you. Despite what he’d said earlier, you’d discovered Ben had a soft spot for slow and sensual intimacy. Making out that gradually built to passionate kiss-filled sex, foreplay that included soft caresses and whispered praise, anything that let him explore your body in intricate detail with his hands and lips. You’d been with guys like that before and had hated their insistence on linking hands and kissing you slowly. Those relationships never lasted long but with Ben it felt different, it felt good. Maybe it was because he knew you weren’t on board with overtly romantic acts and respected those boundaries you’d talked about so you never felt as if he were pushing you into a roll you didn’t enjoy. Or maybe he was just a better lover than they had been. Either way, it came to same result. You still preferred something less gentle and more energetic, though you felt you better understood the appeal of being held so close and kissed so tenderly. But with only a few hours before you’d have to start getting ready, Ben was inclined to speed things up a little. His hand quickly slipped up your thigh to press against your pussy, the cotton knickers you’d slept in the only thing keeping him from direct contact. You broke the kiss suddenly, the smacking sound loud in the small room, and dipped your head to press your lips to the notch between his clavicles. In response, Ben lifted his chin, exposing more of his throat to you and you took the chance to playfully nip at the junction where his neck and shoulder met. “Oi, no marks,” he said lwoly as you moved to kiss back up towards his jaw. “Afraid I’ll brand you with my initials?” “If you could legibly write your initials in hickeys I’d put up with whatever teasing the makeup ladies gave me,” “I’ll give it a crack then shall I?” Before you could so much as flick your tongue over his skin, Ben had raised a hand and placed it over your mouth to keep you from testing our your writing abilities, “Don’t think theres enough time, Sugar, but if you really want to I’ll let you try tonight, on my thigh where no one is likely to see it.” “Make it your arse and you’ve got a deal,” you said though it was a little muffled by his palm. “Fine,” he laughed, drawing his hand away, “But then I get to try it on you too,” You nodded, grinning, and then both fell into giggles, leaning against each other’s shoulders. This was what you’d hoped for when Ben had first approached you with the idea of being partners, what you’d been afraid you’d never actually find. Someone who would follow your tangential jokes even if it delayed sex. Someone you could be yourself with. You were distracted from the thought as Ben pressed his lips to your shoulder over the sleeve of your shirt. “Should I continue?” he asked, still smiling though softer, his fingertips lightly dancing over the crease of your thigh. “I’d be offended if you didn’t” “Can’t have that,” he leaned in to catch your lips once again, at the same time resuming stroking you over your panties so that you felt all the air leave your lungs in a rush. It felt good but you need more and so shifted your hips, trying to press yourself harder against his fingers. To get more leverage and better brace yourself as your centre of gravity changed, you dropped a hand behind you. Intuitively, Ben shifted the hand on your back higher and closer to your side to help keep you steady, the other still drawing lines along your clothed slit. You gasped as his thumb took up residence against your clit, rubbing it firmly so a visible damp patch began to form on your panties.

Ben grinned at you as your breath came harder and dragged his thumb back down away from your clit towards the leg of your underwear. Still watching your reactions, he twisted his fingers up under the material, gently tracing them along the same path they’d just followed only now he could feel your wetness directly. “I’ve got an idea,” he said, leaning close to your ear, as he circled your entrance with a fingertip before pressing it into you, “of how I’d like to fuck you right now. It might take a little flexibility on your part though. I mean, nothing too much, just getting your legs up on my shoulders.” Curious, and more than a little distracted by the addition of a second finger inside you, you nodded, “Sounds fun.” “Knew you’d say that. Just tell me if it’s too uncomfortable,” “Will do.” You leaned forward as Ben moved back a little, taking his fingers with him, giving you enough room to drop your hand to his crotch and grasp his stiff length through his undies, “Just get on with it.” “Puddin’ was too nice a nickname for you. Sugar too.” he gasped as you dragged your palm along his length and back again. “What’s the matter, Tiger?” “Maybe I should call you Tiger, if you’re going to keep grabbing my cock like that,” You laughed and let him go, leaning back on your palm again, “Tigress? Whatever, doesn’t matter. Are you going to fuck me or not?” “No I just wanted to get my dick hard for no reason,” he said sarcastically, poking his tongue out at you as he pushed his underwear down. “You’re such a –” you broke off with a sharp gasp as Ben tugged your underwear aside and pressed into you without warning, “dork.” Ben chucked and leaned in to kiss you quickly before readjusting your position a little by pulling you closer to him so your arse was right against the edge of the bench. Slowly he rolled his hips against you, pulling back and thrusting forward again, finding a rhythm that worked. You leaned back on both palms as Ben grabbed you by the waist, the other resting on your knee to keep it pressed against his side. “This feel alright?” he asked as he gave another thrust, hitting a spot deep inside you. “Mmhmm,” you nodded, able to feel yourself growing wetter with each stroke of his cock. “What about this?” Ben shifted first one of your legs and then the other to his shoulders, encouraging you to bend them at the knee. His hands moved to your sides, fingertips digging into your back as he pressed you even closer. The effect was that you felt as if you were almost folded in half but it wasn’t too uncomfortable. There was an almost weightless feeling to it and any slight awkwardness you felt with your chest meeting your thighs was a small price to pay for just how good Ben felt once again moving inside you. You tightened your fingers against the benchtop, wishing there was something you could grab onto as your whole body rocked with each of his thrusts, the position allowing him to penetrate you deeply, continuously brushing against a number of spots that sent electric spikes of pleasure through you. “Fuck,” was about all you could think to say. “That a good fuck?” Ben questioned, voice gruff with his exertions. “Yeah, yes, fuck, so good,” “So you like when I do this?” You let out a soft moan as he roughly fucked into you again, timing it just right. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he half laughed, turning his head to kiss your leg before leaning forward to catch your lips again. After that there wasn’t much room for talking. Ben, having assured himself that you were happy, speeded up his rhythm, clutching you tightly to keep your legs from slipping off his shoulders. His breathing became rougher, matching your own, as he drove into you, though he still kissed you as much as he could, panting against your lips, swallowing your moans and pushing whatever air he had into your lungs.

You could feel your orgasm bubbling up, like a pot of water on the verge of boiling, but knew Ben would reach his first, recognising his expression as the one he wore when he was trying to hold back from the edge. “Fu-ck you’re s-so tight,” he grunted, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned his forehead against yours, “gonna have to pull out soon,” You could feel him pulling away and tightened your calves on either side of his neck in an effort to stop him, needing just a little more to reach your own release. “Not helping,” he groaned, suddenly unable to hold off any longer, “Shit. Y/N.” You whined as he stilled to shoot his release over your walls. “Jesus,” he said a little breathlessly, as he pulled out, your underwear slipping back over you, and rubbed his neck absentmindedly, “Didn’t expect that to finish me off. Did you…?” You shook your head, letting your leg slip to be caught in the crook of Ben’s arm. “Well let’s fix that, shall we,” he said, already letting you go to bend forward, his face right between your thighs. You felt a puff of his hot breath against you as he hooked his index finger into the crotch of your knickers, pulling it aside, and then his tongue was on you, lapping up your arousal and coming to rest against your clit. He set up camp there, focusing all his attention on the small nub. You let yourself drop back so you were holding yourself up on one elbow, your other hand on the back of Ben’s head, tugging on his hair as he drew a series of moans from you. With a particularly firm suck, you felt your cunt pulse and something warm and wet ran from you, dripping over the edge of the bench onto the cupboard door. You had an idea what it was so it surprised you when Ben released your clit to lick between your lips, catching it with his tongue and spreading it along your slit. “We taste good together,” he mumbled, going in to trace the same path over again, greedily licking up the mixture. You swore under your breath, feeling yourself right on the edge of your orgasm, unspeakably turned on by Ben lapping up the load he’d just left in you. Sensing how close you were he dragged his tongue over your clit again, quickly sliding two fingers into you to help you along. You whined his name as he pushed you over the edge, continuing to pump his fingers into you as he again sucked at your clit, not stopping until he was sure it had worked. “Thank you,” you said as he straightened up again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re such a dork,” he laughed as he kissed you again, tracing his tongue over yours. The man clearly wanted you lightheaded from lack of air. “Shut up,” you pushed yourself to sit up straight again, expecting Ben to step away and let you hop down from the bench. He didn’t though, instead absentmindedly toying with the leg of your underwear as his gaze fell to your lips. “Seriously?” Ben shrugged, “Eating you out made me hard again. And,” he quickly ran his fingers along the edge of the bench, collecting some of the mess you’d left there, “I think it’s only fair you should taste us too,” If he’s said it less earnestly you might have batted his hand away and laughed off the suggestion but something about his tone made you grab his wrist to pull his fingers towards your mouth. He hadn’t been wrong, the mix of you both did taste pretty good, though you’d already got a hint of it as he’d kissed you. “Good girl,” he breathed out, eyes heavy with lust, “think you’re up for more?” “Can we move elsewhere? The edge of the counter is digging into me.” “Okay,” Ben began tugging your underwear down and kicked off his own before pulling your shirt over your head, making you laugh. He Helped you stand and then immediately pushed you to the floor. For a moment you thought he was suggesting you give him a blowjob and were about to question him but half a second later he was following you down, laying down and pulling you on top. “I meant like the bed or the couch at least,” you said somewhere between incredulity and amusement. “Too far,” he grunted, bucking his hips to encourage you to mount him properly, “need you now.” You rolled your eyes as you sank down onto his dick, “Do I actually get to cum this time or…?” “Only if you move,” Ben growled as he grasped your hips and pulled you down onto him, making you cry out at the unexpectedly sudden sensation of being filled. He let you ride him for a bit, alternating between squeezing your thigh as he rubbed his thumb over your clit and cupping your breasts, teasing your nipples as he encouraged you to fuck yourself on his cock faster. You kept to the same steady pace though, intending to drag it out a little, make him wait. But it wasn’t long before he got fed up with the deliberately slow pace you’d cultivated. Without warning you found yourself on your back, Ben grasping your thighs as he kneeled over you, pulling your hips up a little so he could fuck you the way he wanted. Your voice shook as you moaned and writhed in his shadow, your own fingers dancing over your clit to keep building your orgasm. “Isn’t that better?” he said roughly, laughing a little as you nodded your agreement, “Making me wish I had cancelled our plans. Could stay in your pussy all day.” You whimpered and rubbed your clit harder. “C’mon Pumpkin, so close aren’t ya,” You squeezed your eyes shut, moaning when you finally tipped over the edge. But that didn’t stop Ben. He waited until your orgasm had subsided and then pushed your legs wide and up into the air so he could lay directly on top of you as he continued to pound you. Your voice shook as a moan was pulled from your throat and you squirmed beneath him, feeling yourself once again being drawn towards release. There was something about his weight pressing down on you, his breath against your ear. Something about how close he seemed, almost panting as his hips stuttered in and out of the rhythm he was desperately trying to hold on to. He mouthed at your neck as you tilted your head to accommodate him, reaching a hand down to squeeze his arse cheek. You were sore from every other way he’d fucked you, tired from the two orgasms he’d already wrung from you, and yet the thought of stopping him, of ending the incredible pleasure you felt at his hands, was the furthest thing from your mind. A scream caught in your throat as he seemed to press you even harder into the floor, your legs shaking in the air as he grit his teeth and grunted with each harsh drive into you. And then he came, gasping against your throat as he felt you cum too, finally releasing the scream you’d been holding onto until the noise turned to breaths so ragged they felt like sobs.

Ben kissed your throat and then your jaw as he came back to earth, still laying on you. “How was that?” he asked softly when you’d remained quiet for a while. You drew in a deep breath, “Pum-Pumpkin?” “What?” “You called me fucking Pumpkin of all things, while trying to get me off?” “So?” “Jesus Ben,” you half-heartedly swatted at his side, “you’re lucky I was so close that it didn’t matter otherwise I might have laughed and completely lost the orgasm.”   Ben joined in your laughter, the sensation of his shaking body on top of yours slightly odd but mostly quite comforting. Until he shifted his hips without thinking and made you wince. “Sorry,” he said, pressing his lips to yours again as if to kiss away the discomfort before he gingerly pulled out of you and sat back on his knees, “But you did cum that time, right?” “I think you know I did,” you sighed, already able to see what was coming, as you let your legs drop to the floor. “So wait, how many times exactly?” You sighed and shook your head slightly. “Because if my maths is right, I think we got you to three times. Once on the bench and twice on the floor. One plus two is three, yes?” “Yes that’s how basic addition works Ben,”  “And who was it again that got you to three orgasms? Was it,” he pointed a finger as his one chest, “Moi?” “Alright asshole, you’re very impressive and a somewhat decent shag,” “I think you could be a little more grateful considering that performance. Might have been my best ever moves,” You pushed Ben in the middle of the chest, exaggeratedly rolling your eyes but, truthfully you were inclined to agree that it had been his best performance yet, at least in your experience. “Here let me help you,” he chuckled as you tried to stand, almost falling over as your legs shook. Quickly, Ben pushed himself to his feet and then offered you a hand up too, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you steady. “Thanks,” “I hope I haven’t made it too hard for you to walk. Wouldn’t want to throw off your bowling cos you were fucked so right.” “Jesus Christ,” you couldn’t help but laugh.

The rest of the time you had before you had to leave was spent tidying up the kitchen, cleaning up the evidence of the mornings activities in case your roommate got home before you, washing up and getting ready to go. Which is really when things started to go downhill. If you’d realised you might have told yourself to stay home, come up with a quick excuse to get out of it and just played video games with Ben for the rest of the day or something. But there was no way to know what was coming so you didn’t. You talked happily as you got into Ben’s car (which was already parked on the street), excited to see your friends and looking forward to the afternoon.

The double date itself was quite fun, although draining. There was always an element of playing pretend at these sorts of occasions. Not that you minded so much. It was either play up the romance of your relationship or have to explain what you were to everyone and a few hours of pretending Ben was your boyfriend was honestly much simpler. At least bowling was better than the cinema. The first time you’d gone on a double date to a movie you’d sat down beside Ben, the popcorn you were sharing balanced on the arm rest between you. Martin and Jill had raised their armrest and were virtually sitting on top of each other, hands entwined. Which would have been fine except Martin had leaned over and said, “you know these things move” and looked expectantly at you. Ben and you had shared a glance and then tried to say you were both fine with the space but they’d given you matching looks that said they thought you were being weird or prudish or judging their willingness to cuddle in public. So you’d relented and shifted the armrest so you could spend the next two hours sitting with Ben’s arm around your shoulders, both of you more tense about the situation than you ever would have been if you’d just been allowed to sit in your seats like normal. Things had improved a bit since then. Ben had told you that one night when you’d gone out to a bar together, Martin had pulled him aside as asked why he never kissed you properly. Ben had shrugged and said he didn’t like PDAs, that he didn’t want photos to spread or anything like that, especially since it was still so new, and Martin had accepted it. They began to see that your ways of being affectionate were quieter, stealing sips from each other’s drinks, a warm hand against a knee, dumb nicknames that made you both laugh. Even if Jill did sometimes still try to convince you that there was nothing wrong with snogging in the middle of a busy street. Nonetheless you never felt fully able to relax when it was just the four of you. Always conscious of how they saw you, always worried that they’d decide you weren’t being affectionate enough and would tell everyone else you were going through a rough patch which would lead to more scrutiny. While at the same time worrying that one of them would start asking how serious it was between you and Ben, were you thinking about the future? Could you see yourselves moving in together? Was he the one? And it took a lot of energy to constantly be alert about what you were saying, always careful to not accidentally give away the secret truth of the situation. Bowling was fun though and less pressure than other double dates you’d been on. You could get away with not holding hands or sitting on Ben’s lap since everyone was standing up frequently and it didn’t make sense to be on top of one another. You could share small pecks on the lips or else tight hugs to celebrate strikes. And Ben made sure to tease you for missed pins, just like he always had, with a few added silly nicknames. He called you his sweet little hotdog after a particularly bad gutter shot which had made you laugh so hard you choked on your drink, and made Jill give him a disapproving glance. He’d smoothed it over by letting her overhear him saying he loved you, whispering the platonically just for you.

By the time Jill had been declared the winner of the game, you were ready to head home and spend a night forwarding Ben weird videos and dumb memes. Ready to be allowed to just exist without needing to be romantically linked to anyone. But it wasn’t quite to be. Martin made the suggestion that all of you should head to McDonalds for dinner and before you knew it you were standing in line, waiting for the kid at the cash register to serve you. You leaned your head on Ben’s shoulder as you stared at the menu, and vaguely wondered how someone working in a fast food joint could be so bright and bubbly. Right up until Ben nudged you and asked what you wanted. “Um, can I get a quarter pounder and a frozen coke, thanks.” “And?” Ben supplied. “And what?” “Y/N I know you want dessert, get dessert.” “And an Oreo McFlurry,” you smiled and bumped Ben’s shoulder with yours as he laughed and finished paying. “You guy’s make a cute couple,” the girl who’d served you said, eyes following the path of Ben’s gaze to you, still smiling. She seemed to realise what she’d said, her ears turning red, but Ben thanked her and added, “I think I have to agree,” as he squeezed your hip, before moving away so Jill and Martin could order. You’d smiled at her too but it wasn’t quite genuine.

It wasn’t that you weren’t used to it, people assuming you and Ben were in fact a couple. You were. One or two weeks after you’d first agreed to try out being queerplatonic partners, most of your friends had put two and two together and worked out that something was going on between you. Of course they didn’t know you were aromantic and they probably didn’t have any idea what a QPR was so they’d really added two and two and got five but you weren’t about to correct them. As you’d said to Ben, it was too much too soon to do that. Maybe if the QPR thing worked out long term, maybe then you could tell them. And besides, they weren’t exactly wrong anyway. They’d originally assumed you and Ben were just hooking up after Martin had dropped in to pick up something he’d left at Ben’s and had seen you spread out on Ben’s couch with sex hair and a rather large hickey on your neck and Ben’s sweater hanging off your shoulder. He’d asked Ben who’d just shrugged in response and said it wasn’t a big deal. You estimated it took about a minute and a half to reach everyone else. The next time you’d gone out as a group you’d felt them all watching you and Ben closely, trying to determine if Martin with bullshitting them all or not. They’d all decided it was just sex though. Until you were clearly still together a month later and they decided it had to be serious since Ben had never successfully fucked a girl for that long without catching feelings. That was when they started referring to you as boyfriend and girlfriend. That was also when the comments about how cute you were or how they’d always known you’d get together had first started. The first few times you’d heard it, it felt weird but you figured that was just because it was you and Ben and you were still working out how to be partners without the romance. You’d been in relationships before though and didn’t have any major objections to anything they said so you found it fairly easy to deal with and mostly you didn’t notice it anymore.

Except now it was bothering you. Something about the girl’s comment had rubbed you the wrong way. Which made you feel bad because she was just a kid with a shitty minimum wage job who didn’t know you from Adam. She had no idea. She was just trying to say something nice to a couple of strangers. You supposed your dislike of the comment probably had something to do with spending all afternoon putting on the romantic act for the benefit of your friends. Maybe even something about the sex from earlier. Probably just exhaustion from everything, a shorter fuse. It could even just be PMS though you’d have to check how far off your next period was to be sure. Whatever the reason it felt…not wrong exactly just off. You stayed quiet during most of the meal, aware you weren’t being great company and aware that Ben had realised something was wrong since he kept glancing at you when the other two weren’t looking. “Y/N,” Jill’s voice cut through your thoughts, “Still with us?” “Yeah,” you said, pulling a smile onto your face, “sorry, just a bit tired. Didn’t sleep well last night,” That statement was met by high pitched oohing noises and Martin jokily reprimanding Ben for keeping you up. You forced yourself to laugh with them, “Not like that you pervs. Ben was filming a night scene yesterday so didn’t actually get to mine until what,” you looked to Ben for confirmation, “One-thirty was it?” “Something like that. I don’t know I fell asleep almost as soon as I put my head down.” “Me, not so much,” you shrugged, “It’s all just catching up with me now.” They accepted that excuse without question and didn’t aim too many more comments in your direction, letting you finish your food without having to keep your mind on their conversation. And pretty soon you were hugging them goodbye and promising you’d organise the next date as Martin told Ben to get you home to bed before you fell asleep in your ice cream.

Ben waited until you were safely back inside your apartment before he asked if you were okay. “We were meant to get milk,” you sighed, trying to push away the annoyingly persistent discomfort. “I’ll go out later and get some. Or we can get Sophie to bring some back when she comes home. Are you okay though?” Unsure if this was a situation where you’d want space, Ben hovered at a respectful distance until you stepped in close and leaned your head against his chest. As soon as he knew you wanted him there he wrapped his arms tightly around you, “What’s wrong?” “Not sure. Think it all just got a bit much.” “How do you mean?” You shrugged as much as his embrace would allow and talked against his chest as you tried your best to explain how flat you felt, “I think the girl who served us was just like the straw that broke the camel’s back, y’know.” “Did me agreeing with her make things worse?” You shook your head, “Don’t think so. I knew you meant it in a different way to her. Besides, the other two were in earshot so there wasn’t much else you could say.” “You know that what everyone else thinks of us doesn’t change anything about what we have, right, or what we mean to each other. It doesn’t change who you are.” You didn’t mean to say it but the words had escaped before you could stop them, “Wouldn’t it be easier if it did though.” “But then you wouldn’t be you and I love you, platonically.” You smiled and nodded as you stepped back a little, though Ben’s arms wouldn’t let you go too far, “I know, thank you. And I’m fine, just having a bit of an off afternoon.” “Are you sure? Is there anything else I can do to help?” “No, you’ve been perfect.” You leaned up to give him a quick kiss, “And I know I’m being stupid about it. I knew what I was signing up for when I decided not to come out to them. Besides, being back home with you has definitely made me feel better already.” “Do you want a cuppa or anything?” “Nah, think I might just go lie down and read for bit. Decompress a little, y’know.” “Okay. Give me a shout if you want anything, yeah,” he pressed a kiss to your temple and give you an extra squeeze before he let you go.

Slowly you headed to your bedroom, kneeling down at your bookshelf and running your fingers along the spines until you found the one you wanted. That particular book had seen better days. It’s spine was cracked, the image on the cover peeling away from the cardboard underneath. More than one page had begun to fray around the edges like an ancient treasure map in a cartoon, with little triangles missing and the corners permanently creased where they’d been dog eared a hundred times. But as you settled into the bed, Ben’s pillow still smelling faintly of his hair pomade, you began to feel more yourself. Ben was right. What other people thought of your relationship didn’t matter. He was still your Ben, the same Ben who’s hoodie had been living in your cupboard for years now because he spent so much time at yours anyway it just made sense to keep a spare there. The same Ben who’d bought you your favourite pair of sunglasses when you’d left your old ones at home by accident. The same Ben who’d gradually been reading his way through your entire bookshelf rather than buying his own paperbacks. You had too much history there and too much love for each other for anyone else’s opinions to matter. And your partnership was good. It made you happy so it had to be good.

The time passed quickly as you read so when you looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps and saw that a couple of hours had passed, you were a little taken aback. Ben poked his head round the corner and then stepped through the doorway when he saw you looked better. “Nice to see you smiling again,” he said softly as he crawled up beside you. Without thinking you lifted your arm so he could snuggle against you, his head on your chest. “What’re you reading?” “First Test by Tamora Pierce. First book in her Protector of the Small series.” “What’s it about?” “A girl training to become a knight. Gran bought it for me as a kid while we were on a holiday at the seaside.” Ben glanced at the worn pages, “Do you reread it a lot?” “Yeah a bit. The main character, Kel, is like the only aromantic character I know of so she’s kinda important to me.” “The main character’s aro?” “I mean, not explicitly. It was published in ’99 and the terminology to describe aro experiences didn’t really start being used until like the late 2000s and even then only in certain communities online. But Tamora Pierce did answer some questions on her website and said that as she was writing the series Kel became less and less interested in romance and sex so even though she didn’t have the words for it back then, she would consider Kel aro and probably ace too. And I mean, rereading them I definitely feel an aro sort of reaction to a lot of the romance stuff, even when Kel does start kissing boys and all that.” Ben leaned back to better see your face, “Will you read to me?” You leaned down to kiss him, unhurriedly, softly, letting your lips linger on his. “Is that a yes?” “That was a sorry I’ve been weird this evening kiss actually.” “Don’t worry about it,” he said simply, snuggling back down, his head once again resting on your chest and his arm thrown over your waist. You adjusted your grip on the book and began to read from where you’d left off, one hand running absentmindedly through his hair, both of you sighing softly as you relaxed into each other.