#all three of us were guests at the same con LMAO

[everyonesonthespectrum]

Pavel Chekov from Star Trek: The Original Series please?

Queued for March 6th!

[mypoisonedvine]

The Kind of Girl You Take Home to Mom | Andy Barber x reader (part 1)

summary: Jacob was finally taking his college girlfriend home to meet his family.  how was she, a sheltered Harvard girl, supposed to know not to trust the famous, respected lawyer who just so happened to be his father?

word count: 3.5k

warnings: smut (dub con??), age gap, infidelity, fingering, dirty talk, a lil choking, wedding ring kink, lots of awkward conversations lmao

@donutloverxo @evnscvll @ballyhoobarnes​

“They’re gonna love you,” Jacob beamed at you as you buckled into the passenger seat.

“I dunno, Jake, I’m not usually a parent’s favorite…” you mumbled nervously, adjusting to be comfortable for the drive.  It wasn’t that long of a trip— just from your dorm at Harvard to the southern suburbs of Boston; your discomfort was a lot more psychosomatic, in fact.  Isn’t it normal to be afraid to meet your boyfriend’s parents?

“Well, my parents are pretty chill,” he assured you.  “Besides, what’s not to like?”

You still felt a little dizzy as you tried to prepare yourself for a weekend with them.  You’d hoped Jacob would just have you guys meet at lunch or something but nope, he insisted that you come with him the next time he visited over a three-day weekend and you’d agreed cause you didn’t know how to say no.  Now here you were, practicing ‘Hi, it’s so nice to meet you!’ in your head as if you were going to forget how to speak English in the next fifteen minutes.  

Honestly, with how nervous you were, it was plausible.

The sun through the trees cast flashing light and shadows through your window as you watched the scenery roll by.  Something by Bon Iver was playing through the car speakers, but the mumbled lyrics were lost to your distracted mind.  You’d heard a decent amount about his parents through him— his dad was apparently quite the bigshot lawyer— but you had no idea how much they knew about you.  You hoped he talked about you a lot but you also sort of hoped he didn’t, so that you’d have a clean slate to start with.

“Your destination is on the left,” Google Maps informed you both.

“There it is,” Jacob smiled as he lifted a hand from the wheel to point to the house.  It was nice, really nice, and a little tinge of jealousy hit you.  

You took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile as you prepared to meet Mr. and Mrs. Barber.

~

You went through the motions of every great introduction to people who need to like you.  So nice to meet you, I’ve heard great things, you have a lovely home, all that good stuff.  Laurie, his mom, was bubbly and kind, and insisted you not call her Mrs. Barber because it made her feel old, apparently; Mr. Barber was a little more stern but still seemed warm enough.

After some basic hand-shaking and introductions, Laurie had explained that she was making dinner.  You offered to help but she insisted that you wouldn’t lift a finger while staying in her home.  That sure did sound nice, though you felt guilty.

So, while Jacob unpacked your and his stuff in the guest bedroom, and while Laurie was cooking, you and Mr. Barber were stuck together in the living room.

“We’ve been hearing a lot about you,” he informed you.

“Oh, r-really?” you stammered.  “Only good things, I hope.”

“Only great things,” he assured.  

You nodded, not sure what to say but realizing the conversation was going to peter out quickly…

“You can relax,” he encouraged with a smile, “we’re not giving you the third-degree or anything.”

You let out a little laugh of relief, trying to keep from looking too rigid.  “I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I just really want to make a good impression.”

“You already have,” he assured you.  “You’re a natural.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you laughed nervously, “I’ve never met anybody’s parents before.  I mean, of course I’ve met people’s parents, just not a boyfriend’s or anything— that’s not usually my sort of thing…”

His eyes went a little wide, and you mirrored it as you realized the implication.  “Oh, I don’t mean— it’s not like I only do hook-ups or something, I don’t do that, I just meant I’ve never really had a serious relationship before—” oh god, is that a bad thing to say?  Does it make me seem like I’m too immature for Jacob; or does he not think we’re serious?  “I mean, it’s not like we’re serious serious, it’s not— we haven’t really— we’re not thinking that far ahead, we’re young and all that…” God, even Jacob and I haven’t had this conversation, why am I having it with his father?!

“Well, whatever it is that you two are, he seems to care for you greatly.”

“That’s… good to hear,” you sighed, hoping you could just keep your mouth shut for a few minutes.  Awkward silence was leagues better than this.

“The weather’s great so I thought we could sit outside for dinner!” Laurie suggested.  

“Sounds lovely, honey,” Mr. Barber nodded, jumping off of the couch at any excuse to get out of this conversation.  You resisted the urge to hide your face in your hands.

Their patio was spacious and covered in meticulously-gardened plants, with a glass table that had already been set with four place settings.  You helped carry out some of the food and took your seat in the wrought iron chair.

“Do you want any wine, sweetie?” Laurie offered as she turned towards you, bottle in hand.

“Oh, I’m not twenty-one yet,” you explained quickly.

“Well, yeah,” Laurie raised an eyebrow, “but we’re not so sheltered, we know what college kids get up to— just a glass won’t hurt.”

“You’re kind to offer,” you relented, “but I don’t drink.”

“Really?” Laurie questioned, looking a little incredulous.

“Really,” Jacob butted in.  He laughed when his mother gave him a look of surprise.  “Yeah, I know, she’s like, the one person at Harvard who’s sober.”

“Finally, a little respect for the law in this house,” Mr. Barber added as he stepped out onto the patio.  

“You want a glass, honey?” she asked him, seeming to ignore his apparent distaste for her offering alcohol to you.

“Sure,” he nodded, taking a seat.

“So,” Mr. Barber addressed you as he sat down, “what are you majoring in?”

“English,” you answered with a nervous smile.

“And what do you wanna do with that?”

“Whatever lets me read as much as majoring in it allows me to,” you chuckled.

“Do you think you’ll go to graduate school, get a Master’s?” he pressed.

“Actually,” Jacob interjected, “she’s thinking of going for a doctorate.”

Mr. Barber turned back to you with an impressed expression.  “Wow!  Smart girl.”

Something about him calling you ‘girl’ made you feel yourself blush slightly, and shift in your seat.  Or maybe it was the praise.  Still, for some reason it coming from him felt wrong but wonderful at the same time.  “Um, I suppose so…”

It continued on like that for a while; he and Laurie asked you questions, you and Jacob told a few stories.  Mr. Barber managed to get you to open up a little and not be so worried about him judging you or assessing you all the time.  But then again, you’d heard he was a bigshot lawyer so he probably knew how to get people comfortable and talking so he could go in for the kill.

Sometimes you caught him looking at you like he was about to go in for that kill at any moment.

~

“Do you think it went okay?” you asked with faux nonchalance as you slipped into bed, watching Jacob brush his teeth in front of the mirror.

“Okay?  I fink it went greaf!” he responded, the toothbrush in his mouth making his words difficult to parse.

You laughed a little at his silliness, though you were glad to hear he thought it was a successful day.

“And they don’t mind us sharing a bed?”

Jacob snorted with a quick laugh before spitting out his toothpaste into the sink.  “They’re not conservative like that,” he dismissed with a shake of his head.  “I mean, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s normal for us to share a bed.”

You nodded because it was true, but you also found yourself twisting a piece of your hair between three fingers; you wondered if his parents assumed that you two did everything that was normal for boyfriends and girlfriends to do… and, as always, you wondered if Jacob was growing impatient with you in that regard.  He always said that he didn’t mind and was going to wait as long as you needed, but it was still hard to believe.  Sometimes you just wished he would break up with you so that he wouldn’t have to deal with celibacy and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt.

“You ready for bed?” he prompted, tearing you from your train of thought as he sat down on the other side of the bed.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you agreed with a nod, laying down completely and plugging in your phone.

Jacob switched off his bedside lamp, and you were ready to fall asleep, but he quickly pulled you into him.

Oh, yes, cuddling.  This was normal, this was expected; you should feel relaxed right now, and not nervous and confused.  You tried to force yourself to, but it didn’t really work. 

He hummed contentedly, kissing behind your ear.  “Goodnight, honeybun.”

Another girl would love this kind of attention.  Any girl should.  You smiled, but it was fake.  “Goodnight, Jake,” you replied quietly.  You really did like him, you never doubted that.  But as he drifted to sleep beside you and you took in the surroundings of Jacob’s old room— renovated and updated, but still feeling like the graveyard of a childhood— you couldn’t help but question why you were here at all when you knew, deep down, that this relationship was missing something that couldn’t be found.

~

You woke up for no particularly good reason in the middle of the night, a habit of yours.  Squinting as you lifted up and unlocked your phone, you read the clock: 2:16 a.m.

You sighed and realized that you weren’t going to be able to get back to sleep, at least for a while.  

Peeling Jacob’s limp arm off of you and slipping out from underneath the comforter, you tiptoed out of the bedroom and shut the door behind you.

The streetlights cast faint yellow light into the kitchen, enough that you could see somewhat; enough that you didn’t stub your toe, thankfully. 

You did your best to open the refrigerator quietly as you searched for a snack.  I could make a sandwich but that’s a bit too much food.  There’s so much weird diet food in here, is that Mr. or Mrs. Barber’s?  A glass of juice probably isn’t enough.  Yogurt?  Hmm, maybe…   

“Burning the midnight oil?” the deep and smooth voice of Mr. Barber came from behind you.

You jumped a little as you spun around, finding him standing in the entryway to the kitchen, wearing pajamas and a smug little smile.  You let go of the door and it slowly closed itself; Mr. Barber turned on a dim light and you were able to see him a little better.

“I think we’re a little bit past midnight, sir,” you chuckled softly.

He seemed slightly uncomfortable with the title, shifting awkwardly and clearing his throat.

“Did I wake you up?” you asked, concerned.

“No, no, not at all,” he shook his head.  “I haven’t been sleeping so well recently.  A finger of scotch usually helps…”

For some reason, him telling you this felt too intimate.  You cleared your throat nervously as he poured the aforementioned drink into a crystal glass.

“You really don’t drink?” Andy asked you suddenly, and you laughed a little.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you guys to believe!” you replied.

“No, no, I believe you…” he trailed off.  “I guess I’m just surprised because Jacob seems really into the party scene.  You two seem sort of opposite in a lot of ways.”

“Yeah, we are,” you admitted.  “I think it works for us.”

“You keep him honest?” 

“I keep him from failing out,” you scoffed, though as soon as you’d said it, you instantly regretted your brutal honesty.

“Ah, I get it,” Andy smirked.  “He’s partying while you’re back in the dorm studying enough for the both of you.”

“That’s not—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he instructed, a little more stern than you anticipated.  “With what I do for a living, I’ve learned to spot a lie from a mile away.”

You swallowed, thinking this was getting a bit out of hand already.  “Well, I ought to get back to bed,” you realized, “and… so should you.”

As you stood up and started to walk past him, he suddenly reached out and grabbed your arm, stopping you.

“Mr. Barber, I—”

“Call me Andy,” he encouraged, stepping closer until you were pressed against the wall and he was pressed against you, finally releasing your arm but leaving you just as trapped.  This close up, your height difference was staggering.

“O-okay, Andy, I don’t—”

“Has he fucked you yet?” 

The question made your eyes shoot wide open and your stomach burn with embarrassment.  How could he ask you something like that?  But he seemed cool and collected, staring down at you as he took the last sip of his scotch and set the glass aside.

“I think as his father, I have a right to know,” he added firmly.

“I… we don’t… he and I aren’t…”

“So, no?”

You nodded quickly.

“Well, why not?  Is there something wrong with him?”

No, there’s nothing wrong with him at all, and I hate that about him because I should love him but I don’t.  “N-no!”

He looked you up and down quickly before responding.  “I can’t imagine how he keeps his hands off you…”

You knew you shouldn’t be enjoying this kind of attention, especially from your boyfriend’s father, but something about his gaze made shivers erupt in its wake.  You looked away and forced yourself to remember everything great about Jacob.

“He’s been very patient with me,” you explained shakily.  “He knows I’m not ready.”

“Not ready?”

“To be with someone… that way…”

You shivered when his fingers began to toy with the hem of your nightgown.  “This is nice,” he complimented softly.

“Um, thank you…”

“You’re a very beautiful girl,” he informed you, leaning in a little closer.

“I—” you began, but he was already about to kiss you.  You almost melted into it, you almost let your eyes flutter shut as you tilted your head; thankfully, you stopped yourself at the last second, pushing your hands against his chest.  He was strong enough that your protest would’ve been useless if he hadn’t chosen to stop in the moment.

“Andy, your wife…” you explained weakly.

“She hasn’t touched me in years,” he grimaced.  “She just wants my money, and the appearance of the perfect family.  You have no idea what it’s like to lie next to someone every night and still be completely alone.”

For a split second, Jacob flashed in your mind and you wondered if you did have an idea.  

“I’m… sorry to hear that…” you mumbled.  “But I can’t— you can’t—”

He lifted your chin with one finger, and you looked up at him with wide doe eyes.  “Is he treating you right, sweetheart?  Is he everything you deserve?  Don’t lie to me…”

“He’s…” you whispered shakily, unsure how to respond, “he’s great.”

Andy chuckled incredulously, seemingly not believing your answer.  “Listen, he’s my son; I love him, obviously.  But I know his flaws better than anyone.  And even though I like to think he’s smarter than a lot of boys his age, they’re all the same when it comes to one thing: girls.”

“I think he’s pretty smart in that regard,” you defended.

“If he was smart, he would be taking you to nice places, buying you nice things, treating you right.  If he was smart, he would’ve fucked you already.  If he was smart,” he smirked a little, “he wouldn’t have left you alone with me.”

His hand slipped under the bottom of your nightgown, grabbing your thigh.

“Andy!” you yelped, but he lifted a finger to his mouth with a soft shushing noise.

“Don’t wanna wake anybody, now do you?”

I kinda do though… you thought to yourself.

His fingers travelled higher and higher, nearly brushing against the edge of your panties; you shivered, wondering if you should stop him, and if so, how.

Your hands were still resting on his chest from when you’d tried to push him away, but instead of fighting back all they did was clench and pull at the soft cotton of his t-shirt as his pointer finger hooked into your underwear and pulled them down.

The thick, calloused pad of his finger swiped through your folds, and you bit your lip.  Something about it being the middle of the night, about the forbidden nature of it all, about the way his gaze burned right through you made your entire body so sensitive.  He found your clit instantly, and barely had to touch it to get you bucking your hips into his touch; you only somewhat managed to suppress your gasp.

He leaned in to kiss you again, but this time it actually came to fruition and his lips were soft but determined against your own.  You reciprocated eagerly, eliciting a little smile from him as you both realized how bad you wanted this even when you shouldn’t.  The moment his tongue slipped into your mouth was also the moment his middle finger slid into your tight and pulsing channel.  You moaned with surprise and it mixed with his own soft groans while your tongues intermingled.

A second finger joined his first, stretching your walls and making you nearly bite down on his lip in your mouth.  He smiled and twisted them within you, pushing right against a spot that made your knees weak, while his thumb stretched out to keep circling around your clit.

He broke the kiss to watch your face, admiring the way your brows furrowed together, and your eyes fluttered shut, and your swollen lip caught between your teeth.  Your head fell back against the wall, the effort of supporting it suddenly seeming too much, and it caused you to look up at him and make some awkward yet sensual eye contact.

“Has he ever made you come like this?” he whispered, jealousy apparent in his tone.  You shook your head ‘no.’  “Has anyone ever made you come like this?”  You shook your head again.  “Fuck,” he groaned.  “Including yourself?”

You nodded and he laughed a little, stooping down to kiss your neck.  “Always such a good girl, huh?”

His tone shifted as realization crossed over his face.  “Baby… am I the first thing that’s ever been inside you?”

You bit your lip, feeling a bit embarrassed, and nodded again.

He groaned and pressed his hips forward into your hip; the hard shape of his cock against you made you gasp.  “Feel what you do to me?” he smirked.  “God, you’re too fuckin’ perfect…”

“A-Andy, ‘m close,” you whimpered 

“Come on my fingers, sweet girl,” he encouraged.  “I wanna see how pretty you look when you let go.”

It felt like a wave of sensation was about to crash over you, faster than you knew how to handle it.  You reached down and tried to push him away by the forearm, an instinctive way to run from the intensity of the feeling as it started to make your eyes roll back and your toes go numb.  But he was too strong; your fighting was useless as his fingers kept fucking into you and pressing against your constricting walls.

“No, baby, you can take it,” he hissed.  “Come for me, sweetheart.”

Just as you were sure you were about to scream, his other hand clapped over your mouth.  You could feel the hard shape of his wedding ring against your lips and just as guilt hit you, so did your orgasm.  Your knees went weak; you would’ve fallen if it weren’t for the hand inside you all but holding you up.  

Your moans were muffled into his calloused palm as pleasure rippled through you.  You felt your channel grip his fingers at the same time as a gush of arousal coated his hand and even began to drip down to his arm.

Your breathing slowly stabilized, and Andy trusted you enough to finally take his hand away.  He pulled his fingers out of you and brought them to his lips, licking them with a smirk.  “You taste like heaven, honey,” he praised.  “Go ahead, clean off my fingers,” he instructed as he pressed the fingers into your mouth; it was already hanging slack from exhaustion.  You closed your lips and sucked on his fingers, moaning at your own taste and at the way his skin felt on your tongue.

Once he was apparently satisfied with your work, the hand in your mouth moved back and instead wrapped around your neck as you whimpered.

“Tomorrow,” he growled against your ear.  “I’m gonna get you alone, and we’re gonna finish this.”

You were a little too busy panting to respond to that.  Honestly, you had expected that you would have some post-nut clarity at this point, or even just be satisfied once you’d reached your peak.  But apparently not; even still coming down from it, you already wanted more.  With a sigh, you realized that you were already completely addicted to Andy Barber, and you were going to come back for more as soon as you could.

“Tomorrow,” you agreed in a raspy whisper.

(part 2) // (part 3)

[taephilia]

carnival lights

part of @jamaisjoons​ summer bucketlist writing event!

pairing: kim taehyung x fem!reader (feat. the rest of bts + a guest appearance)

genre: haunted carnival au, college au, horror/thriller, fluff, suggestive content

word count: 6,984

warnings: marijuana use, alcohol consumption, swearing, suggestive content (making out, grinding, hickeys, hair pulling, praise kink, degradation, dirty talk), breaking and entering, blood mention

summary: with half of your friend group graduated and leaving your hometown to move to the city for work, you and your friends decide to have one last adventure together (in the words of hobi even though it’s only may and you see each other like every day). but things are always different in the nighttime and you never know what’s lurking between the funnel cakes.

a/n: tysm to solaris for coming up with this writing event!! this was really fun for me to do because it’s very different from what i usually write. this was supposed to go up at the beginning of august but life became really crazy for me starting mid-july lmao. better late than never i guess but so sorry for the late upload. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! :-)

When you finally arrive at your childhood home, you’re not at all surprised to see 2 cars parked in front of your house and your group of friends sprawled out on your front lawn, all of them laughing and smiling as they wait for you. You were the last of your friends to get home after finishing your second year of university (shoutout to your organic chemistry professor for having a final exam on a Saturday) and you were lucky you didn’t get pulled over because of how eager you were to get home. It was a tough semester and you really need to not think about school for a few months. You wave at the boys through the car window when they see you pull into your driveway, all of them running over to greet you before you’ve even had a chance to get out of your car.

Jimin is the first to greet you as he practically pulls you out of the vehicle to wrap his arms around you. His sounds of excitement make you laugh as you pat his back. “It’s nice to see you too, Jimin,” you say to him, laughing harder when he starts to shake you back and forth from just how happy he is to see you.

Hoseok hugs you next, and you only have a few seconds after Jimin has released you before you’re swallowed up in another bear hug. This one is a bit tighter and you feel the breath get knocked out of you as the older boy whines, “(Y/N), I missed you so much! I’m already sick of the guys so thank goodness you’re finally home!”

“Good to know that the feeling is mutual then,” Yoongi says as he pulls you out of Hoseok’s grip. You’re enveloped in a much looser, but still just as warm, hug and you wrap your arms around the male’s waist, the first of your friends that you choose to hug back (well, more like the first of your friends who didn’t trap your arms to your sides, thus allowing you to hug them back). Also just because it’s Yoongi.

Seokjin and Namjoon both greet you with a “Welcome home” and hugs of their own and you have to stop yourself from burying your face in their chests because of how much they smell like home. Namjoon even pats your head while he hugs you and a chuckle escapes you at that; he must have really missed you.

Jungkook practically tackles you as he runs up and scoops you up into his arms, swinging you around as he cackles maniacally. As excited as you are to see him, you’re not exactly sure why he’s laughing like that and frankly, you’re too scared to ask. You’ve known Jungkook the longest out of the 7 of them and you know that that laugh means bad news. You’re gonna have to ask him what he’s been scheming about later.

“Can I please hug my girlfriend now?” Taehyung asks, the exasperation in his voice contrasting with the huge grin on his face. He’ll let the guys have their time now because now that you’re home, you’re all his for the next couple of months. Jungkook lets out an exaggerated vomiting sound while he puts you down, the rest of the boys already opening up your car to help you unload your things while you approach your boyfriend with heart eyes. 

“Hey there, stranger,” you greet him and you can’t help but let out a relieved sigh when he finally wraps his arms around you to pull you into a hug. Going to different universities along with having packed schedules kept you and Taehyung apart for longer than you liked, another reason for your eagerness to get home after your last final this morning. Standing here with his arms around you, his scent invading your senses, his warmth seeping through your clothes—it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. 

“Please don’t have a busy semester like that ever again,” he says quietly, his cheek resting against the top of your head as he rubs his hands up and down your back. “I nearly died because I couldn’t see you as often as I wanted to.”

“Same goes for you then,” you retort as you pull your head away from his chest to look up at him with narrowed eyes. “I wasn’t the only one with a busy semester, Mr. TA-with-2-Jobs. You’re also at fault here.”

Taehyung is about to reply but is interrupted by Jimin physically separating the two of you so that Seokjin and Yoongi could place boxes into your hands. “You two are also at fault for just standing there making goo-goo eyes at each other while the rest of us unload the car,” Jimin scolds you guys as he rolls his eyes. The three of them all but push you towards your front door, your family watching in amusement from inside. “Get a move on, lovebirds, I want to go to 7-11 after this for some ramen before I get hangry.”

“You did not just suggest that,” Seokjin groans, interrupting Hoseok after only one sentence. “I can’t believe you really said that.”

The 8 of you are sitting on the curb outside of a 7-11 eating your respective dinners, the buzzing of the neon sign and the chatter from people walking providing nice background noise for your first hangout of the summer. You stifle your laughter by shoving more noodles into your mouth, while Taehyung and Jungkook do nothing to silence theirs beside you. 

“There’s nothing wrong with going to the carnival, we go every year!” Hoseok protests. Well, more like whines, to be honest. Using that tone of voice usually worked in his favor but Seokjin’s unamused expression didn’t seem to be leaving his face any time soon. 

“That’s the point, we go every year,” Namjoon points out, pointing his chopsticks at Hoseok for emphasis. “Dude, we just graduated from college, don’t you think we’re a little old to be going to our town’s carnival?”

“Besides, it’s not even good anymore,” Yoongi says through a mouthful of noodles. “They’ve been getting rid of the good rides so the only fun part about it is the funnel cake and I guess the Ferris wheel if you’re into that.” 

Jungkook lets out a sound of protest, holding up a finger to signal to the others to wait for him while he chews before speaking. “I actually took my younger cousins there at the beginning of the week and the rides look pretty cool this year.”

Hoseok looks smug after that, resulting in Yoongi muttering, “Who’s side are you even on?” You let out a laugh at that, you can’t help it. “Regardless,” he says loudly, chopsticks waving in the air as he glares at his friend. “We’re too old to go, the tickets are overpriced, and the food is too expensive for how trashy it is. We’re not going.”

Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook all protest at that and you let out a sigh as you watch the younger ones (plus Hoseok) argue with the older boys. Your first day back and they’re already fighting over something dumb. “The four of you are leaving us in August, don’t you want to stick to tradition one last time before you go off into the adult world?” Jimin argues, and you raise an eyebrow at that, your eyes glancing at the older boys who seem to deflate a little at his words. They always get soft whenever someone brings up some sentimental crap like that.

“This will be the last time that we go,” Taehyung offers, and you notice Hoseok trying to hide his smirk as the younger boy talks. The two of you make eye contact and he winks at you, both of you knowing that he’s probably going to win this. “One last time for all 8 of us to pretend like we’re still in high school-”

“Who the fuck wants to pretend like they’re still in high school?” Jungkook interrupts, causing you to smack his arm. “Sorry for interrupting, but that place was a nightmare.”

Your boyfriend acknowledges his words with a nod before continuing. “One last time for all of us to pretend like we’re still young and have nothing to care about. Like we're not entering the adult world soon, some of us sooner than others, and all we have to worry about is having enough gas in our cars to get to where we want to go and not getting arrested for whatever we do.”

There’s silence after that as everyone mulls over those words while they eat. You, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok know that Taehyung essentially has the rest of them right where he wants them so you just wait for them to say something.

It’s Namjoon who breaks the silence first. “You know, I hate it when you guys get all soft like that.”

With the amount of shit that you get into whenever you’re with Jungkook, you sometimes forget that he’s actually loaded (but it’s because he’s loaded that he feels the need to cause trouble wherever he is at every single possible second). So every time he invites you to hang out at his house, you can’t help but feel excited to experience even a smidge of the life of luxury that Jungkook gets to experience every day. 

And luxury it is.

It’s mid-day and you’re hanging out in Jungkook’s backyard while he’s at the grill making some food with Jin, you and Taehyung sprawled out on one another on a couch as you pass a joint back and forth. Empty bottles of beer and cans of White Claw are scattered around while the handles of harder alcohol are resting in the shade, waiting to be consumed at a more appropriate time. Namjoon and Yoongi are floating around in the pool, their shades on as they indulge in the feeling of being crossed while in the cold water. This is exactly what you were looking forward to.

Taehyung’s right hand gently runs up and down your shin as he hums along to whatever song Jungkook is playing on his speaker, his left hand holding the smoldering joint over an ashtray before bringing it to his lips. He inhales the smoke and you watch as his chest rises to allow it to settle in his lungs before he slowly blows it out in your face. 

“That wasn’t very nice,” you shake your head as you fan the smoke out of your face. Your eyes are dry enough as it is. 

Your boyfriend simply smiles widely at you before tugging at your ankle, sliding closer to you and pulling you closer to him so that he could situate you on his lap. He places the joint in your fingers, murmuring, “Finish it,” and watches with rapt attention as you bring it up to your lips. You inhale for a few seconds, the warmth from the smoke tickling your throat and almost causing you to cough but you fight it as you let it settle in your lungs while the joint falls from your fingertips and into the ashtray. You’re about to blow out the smoke when you feel Taehyung’s fingers on your chin, his lips on yours before you could even process what’s happening. His tongue swipes along your lower lip and you open your mouth to release the smoke into his own, a whimper escaping you when his hold on your hip tightens. Taehyung pulls away from you as he inhales, his pupils blown wide before they disappear behind a cloud of smoke.

Taehyung is about to pull you in for another kiss, your eyes almost closed as you lean closer to him, when you feel cold water get splashed on you and you gasp loudly. Goosebumps rise on your skin as you look for the culprit, your eyes narrowing on Jungkook who was standing beside the pool with a water gun in his hands. “Stop making out in front of us, it’s gross!” he exclaims while shooting the two of you a couple more times. 

“You little bitch-!” you say menacingly as you begin to get up from Taehyung’s lap. You don’t get far though because your boyfriend is already pulling you back down as Jungkook scrambles back to the grill to hide behind Seokjin. There’s a smirk on your face as you stare at him and you swear that you see him gulp. Serves him right.

Namjoon and Yoongi tease the youngest for being so scared of you as they clamber out of the pool, their eyes looking more alert as they make their way over to you and Taehyung. “It’s time to roll another one, I’m coming down,” Yoongi announces as he takes a seat next to you and you grin widely as he opens up the grinder. 

“You know, I’ve only ever seen you this excited when it comes to weed, sangria, and d-”

You clap your hand over Taehyung’s mouth before he can finish his sentence, smiling at him sweetly while your friends just try to stifle their laughter as they roll up a couple more joints. “Are you sure you want to finish that sentence, babe?”

Taehyung bites the palm of your hand in retaliation before tightly wrapping his arms around you, rocking you back and forth as he coos, “Is my baby embarrassed? You don’t want the boys to know how good I-”

“I’m getting some water!” you exclaim as you jump up, forcing Taehyung’s hands to fall into his lap as he laughs loudly at how embarrassed you look. “Does anyone want some? I’m going inside to get some.”

All of the boys raise their hands so Taehyung gets up from his spot on the couch as well to offer his help. As soon as he shuts the door to the backyard after you two are inside, you have a feeling that something is up, especially when you think you hear him chuckle darkly behind you. He’s right on your heels as you make your way to the kitchen and when you feel a tug at the back of Taehyung’s your shirt, you realize that your boyfriend has stopped you. He backs you up against the island in the center of the kitchen, his hands placed on either side of you to trap you, and you can’t help but look away as he stares down at you with a smirk playing on his lips.

“Been dying to kiss you, sweetheart,” he mumbles as one of his hands reaches up to touch your face, his thumb rubbing over your cheekbone. “That one from before just wasn’t enough.”

Taehyung leans down to press his lips to yours, and even though you know that it’s a combination of the feeling you get from kissing your boyfriend and the feeling of being high, you swear that there’s electricity running through your veins. Your hands grip his biceps and you whimper when you feel a hand on your ass, squeezing it and bringing you closer to his body. You feel your knees buckle when he pulls away from your mouth only to kiss and bite at your neck, the thought of marks on your skin causing you to feel even more tingly. 

“Please,” you whisper as you card your fingers through his hair. “Taehyung.”

Taehyung stops and looks at you, an amused look on his face as he takes in just how desperate you look for him. “Please what?” he teases you, head tilting to the side as you huff in annoyance. You’re so cute.

“Please kiss me,” you pout. And with the way that you’re looking at him, so desperate for him just to kiss you, who is Taehyung to deny you that?

He presses a quick kiss to your lips and laughs when you lean forward more as he leans away. “If Jimin and Hoseok aren’t here in the next few minutes, we’re going home so I can do more than just kiss you,” he tells you, and God, even though he has to fight down all of the dirty thoughts are coming to mind about just what exactly he wants to do to you, he can’t help but think that the excited look on your face is absolutely adorable.

Taehyung spoke too soon though because just as he’s about to continue your little makeout session, you hear the door to the backyard open, followed by Seokjin yelling at the two of you, “Jimin and Hobi are here!”

And Jungkook, always a fan of getting on your nerves whenever he can, continues with, “You guys better not be fucking in the kitchen, those are new countertops! Did you even get the water?”

When you and Taehyung come back outside with eight water bottles, the urge to throw them at your friends is overwhelming as they whoop and holler at you. You reach up to try to cover the marks on your neck with your hair but this just brings closer attention to them. “For the record, we didn’t actually do anything so get your minds out of the gutter, you fucking pervs,” you sneer as you hand out the water.

“I’m sure they’re just jealous because it’s not their necks covered in marks,” Taehyung shrugs, walking away from Namjoon just as he chokes on his water from the younger boy’s words. 

“Dude, why do you always have to make it weird?” Jimin mutters as he shakes his head at his best friend. “Anyways, Hoseok and I have an announcement so put your cell phones on silent and shut your fucking mouths. The show is about to begin.”

You raise an eyebrow at that as Seokjin attempts to stop himself from laughing. Always one for the theatrics, that Park Jimin. Hoseok clears his throat and takes a small step forward to gain everyone’s attention.

“We’re going to the carnival tonight.”

Taehyung’s hand squeezes your thigh reassuringly as Jungkook and Jimin struggle to converse over the loud music. Why Jungkook can’t just lower the music considering the fact that you’re all in his car is beyond you. You’re more than used to the antics that you and your friends tend to pull every summer but a part of you is wondering if you’re taking it a bit too far this time. You pull into the dirt parking lot right next to Jin’s car and you’re not surprised to see skeptic looks that match yours on Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s faces.

“Why the fuck do you have that?” Yoongi practically yells as he looks down at what Jimin’s holding, prompting you to shush him. 

“They’re just bolt cutters, dude, relax,” Jimin shrugs and your eyes dart down to his hands to see that he is in fact holding bolt cutters. “This is for our backup plan.”

“Wh-“

“Yoongi, if you don’t wanna get caught, then keep your fucking voice down,” you hiss at him. “The entire town will know we’re here because of how loud you’re being.”

“Can someone please explain to me what the hell our so-called ‘plan’ is?” Namjoon whispers loudly, his eyes narrowing on Hoseok presumably because this was his idea in the first place. “Because I haven’t felt confident about it since literally all you fucking said was ‘I know a guy’.”

“If it makes you feel better, you know him too,” Hoseok shrugs, and just as Namjoon opens his mouth to say something, another pair of headlights passes over you guys. You all watch silently as a very expensive car drives into the parking lot, and even though all of the windows are up, you can still hear the loud thumping of the bass before the driver turns the engine off. 4 people exit the car, none of whom you recognize, but based off of Namjoon’s barely hidden annoyance, Hoseok was telling the truth and he does know them.

“Kim Namjoon!” the driver exclaims after greeting Hoseok with one of those bro handshakes, making you wince at the loud volume. Did none of them understand that you all are about to commit a crime? “Didn’t think I would be seeing you so soon after graduation. Did you miss me?”

“Considering the fact that I woke up to you asleep on my bathroom floor because Hoseok had to bring your drunk ass home with him the night before my 9am graduation when your frat had a party, I’m gonna have to say no,” Namjoon replies drily, and you have to stifle your laughter at that. You’ve never heard him speak like that to anyone except maybe Jungkook and Seokjin, he’s always polite and nice, so this is very different. You can’t say you blame him though, the guy does kind of look like a douche.

The douche in question laughs at his statement before his eyes rove over your friend group, only to stop at you. “And who’s this?” he asks, voice piquing in interest. “You never mentioned a girl to me, Hoseok.”

You cross your arms over your chest as Taehyung snorts beside you. “That’s because he has no reason to. So are you the guy that’s going to unlock the gate for us or are we just going to stand here and talk in the dark for another 5 minutes?”

“The name’s Jackson, sweetheart,” the guy smirks as he walks right up to you to dangle what you assume are keys for the entire amusement park in your face. “Jackson Wang. And don’t you forget it.”

“I’m not really good with names but my boyfriend is,” you shrug as you point at Taehyung who drapes an arm over your shoulders. “So I’m sure he’ll remember, right Tae?”

Taehyung smiles beside you, but it’s more like he’s baring his teeth at the guy, and both yours and Jackson’s friends snicker as the two of you watch him slowly walk over to the gate in a stunned silence. The lock opens with a click and you all follow him in, watching as he turns some of the lights on and then gives Hoseok a copy of the keys.

“You guys have one hour,” he explains as he hands them over. “If you’re not at the gate by then, then we’re leaving and you guys get to deal with whatever trouble finds you. Got it?”

“Yes sir!” Taehyung and Jimin exclaim at the same time and you smack both of them when you see them saluting Jackson. 

The frat boy merely rolls his eyes at their antics as he unlocks the gate, all of you shuffling forward hesitantly as he swings open the gate and leads you all inside. He tells you all to wait while he goes off somewhere and you can’t help but clutch Taehyung’s hand a little bit tighter as you stand there in the dark. You’re not a believer in the supernatural per se but you’re not about to hang out in a dark amusement park long enough to find out. Suddenly, the flood lights come on, the harsh white light driving away any shadows that may have been lingering.

“Go crazy,” you hear Jackson say and you turn around to see him waving you off. “But not too crazy because if you guys break something, then I’ll kill you.”

Him and his friends go off while you and your friends decide where you should go first. You’re about to nod along to Jungkook’s suggestion of finding some leftover funnel cakes when you feel a tug at your arm. Taehyung pulls the two of you a few feet away from your friends with a wide grin on his face, leaning closer to you before whispering, “Wanna ditch them and go make out in the Tunnel of Love?”

You roll your eyes at that but a matching grin appears on your face. “You’re so fucking cheesy. Fine, let’s go.”

You allow your boyfriend to pull you along eagerly, both of you snickering to yourselves as you break away from your friends. A noise of disgust leaves your mouth as you glance at the murky water, the abandoned pink gondolas looking almost sad as you pass by them in favor of entering the tunnel on foot. There’s no light aside from the ones outside but you guess that that’s the point as Taehyung pushes you up against the wall and presses his body against yours. He tilts your chin up so that you have no choice but to look at him and even in the darkness, you can see the glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Been wanting to do that since you talked back to that Jackson guy earlier,” he hums, head ducking down to press a kiss to your jawline and then another to your cheek. “You’re really cute when you’re mad, you know that?”

Taehyung presses his mouth against yours harshly as his hands travel down to your hips to bring them even closer to his. You whimper as you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers finding their way into his hair before softly tugging at the strands. You’re usually not one for making out in public but there’s something about making out with your boyfriend in an empty amusement park at night that sends just the tiniest bit of adrenaline through your veins. A gasp escapes your mouth when you feel him grab at your ass roughly, kneading it with the palm of his hand as the other lightly traces up and down your side. You can feel him getting hard against your thigh and just the thought his cock is enough for you to let out a moan against his lips.

“Dirty girl,” he chastises you when he pulls away, only to duck down to kiss and bite at the skin on your neck. “You’re being so loud, you want someone to catch us? You want one of the guys to walk in and see you like this?”

“Sorry,” you apologize, eyelids fluttering when he wraps a hand around your throat and applies just the slightest bit of pressure. “I was just-”

“Thinking about my cock?” Taehyung interrupts, finishing your sentence for you. Your eyes fly open to meet his and there’s a smirk on his face that tells you that he knew exactly what you were thinking about. “You can feel it against your thigh, right? How bad do you want it, baby?”

His hands slide under your shirt to toy with your nipples over the fabric of your bra and your breath hitches in your throat. You think you can hear Namjoon’s excited yelling from outside but you're too far lost in how good Taehyung is making you feel to care. “Want it so bad,” you whisper, biting down on your lower lip when he brings a hand down to cup your heat. “Wanna choke on it, get it so fucking wet with my mouth.”

He rubs at your clit through your cotton shorts and based off of how wet you feel right now, you know that your panties are probably ruined. Taehyung shifts so that his thigh is now pressed up against your pussy and you let out another moan from the pressure on your clit. Your hands come up to grab at his shoulders as he steadies you with his own on your hips, dark eyes looking down at you with lust as he licks his lips. “Feels good, huh?” he teases you as he presses you down harder against his thigh. “Why don’t you get yourself off for me, sweetheart. Grind against my thigh until you make yourself come and then I’ll reward you with my cock.”

You nod along eagerly at his words, your hips moving against him before he even reached the end of his sentence. Pleasure courses through your veins as you grind against Taehyung’s thigh, unable to control the noises that are leaving your mouth. But after a particularly loud moan, you feel your boyfriend’s hand wrap around your throat again before squeezing as a warning. “You’re being so loud, baby,” he mumbles as he leans forward to press more kisses to your cheek. “I thought you were my good girl, that you knew how to stay quiet. And only good girls get to feel good...”

“I’ll be quiet,” you say, and the pleading look on your face is enough to make his cock stir in his pants. “I promise I won’t make any more noise, please just let me come.”

Taehyung’s hand comes up to rest against your cheek, thumb stroking at your cheekbone softly and your movements against his thigh stutter at the gentle gesture. “Since you asked so nicely,” he concedes just before flexing his thigh muscles under you.

You clap your hand over your mouth to stop the gasp that you were about to let out, eyes never leaving Taehyung as your hips speed up. Your other hand comes up to grab at his bicep, squeezing tightly as you listen to his words of encouragement.

“There’s my good girl,” he coos, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. “Always so eager to please, you want my cock in your mouth so bad, don’t you? I know you do, baby girl, because you fucking love it. You love choking on this big, thick cock, right? Gagging on it and being so fucking sloppy with it. My little cockslut-”

Taehyung’s dirty whispers are cut off by the lights coming off and the theme music of the ride blaring through the speakers, and you swear your heart almost jumps out of your chest. Any pleasure that you felt is immediately replaced with shock and fear as your boyfriend pulls you closer out of instinct. The two of you look around before running out quickly, the music fading as you stand a few yards away from the ride. Annoyance overcomes your boyfriend’s face when his eyes land on something—or rather, someone. You look over and see Jimin and Hoseok standing at a nearby food truck eating cotton candy and laughing their asses off, words not even escaping them from how hard they’re laughing.

“You guys are fucking assholes, you know that?” Taehyung yells as you both walk over to them. His hand squeezes yours when he feels you still shaking slightly beside him, and he pulls you closer for good measure. “You scared the shit out of us!”

“W-What?” Jimin stutters, unable to properly form words around his laughter. He wipes tears away from his eyes as Hoseok breathes deeply next to you to get himself to calm down. “What are you talking about?”

“Fuck off, Jimin,” you say dismissively with a roll of your eyes. “We know it was the two of you, you were standing here laughing your asses off about it when we ran out. If you’re gonna pull some shit like that, either don’t stick around or act cool if you’re gonna stand there.”

“Seriously, we have no idea what you guys are talking about,” Hoseok protests, still sounding like he’s on the verge of tears as he gets the last of his laughter out. “We literally just got here and the ride was on when we ran by. I didn’t even know where you guys were until just now.”

“Maybe it was Jackson and his friends,” Jimin offers, but Hoseok shakes his head beside him. “Well it can’t have been the others, they’re on the Gravitron right now. Joon and Yoongi are probably close to puking their guts up right now because they smoked just before they went on.”

An image of the small, dark, spinning room pops up into your mind with puke splattered along the walls and you grimace. “Gross. Let’s go wait outside to see if you’re right.”

The four of you walk towards the ride and you steal a bit of Hobi’s cotton candy from him, smiling innocently before popping it into your mouth as he whines in protest. Taehyung is looking around as he swings your joined hands between the two of you and you have a sneaking suspicion that Jimin may have taken a couple of hits with the boys because his eyes are only half open. You all lean against the gate as the ride slowly comes to a stop and you take this moment to pull out your phone, calling out Jimin’s name to get his attention before quickly taking a picture of him in all of his stoned glory.

“(Y/N), I swear to God, if you post that picture anywhere…!” he exclaims as he lunges for your phone, and you cackle as you quickly dodge and hide behind your tall boyfriend. 

Taehyung does nothing to help either of you, merely standing still as the two of you circle each other. “It’s just going to be your new contact picture, relax,” you tease, the slight slump of Jimin’s shoulders making you chuckle. “And I’ll probably put it in the group chat.”

“There have been worse pictures of you sent in the group chat,” Taehyung points out, and Hobi bursts out laughing as Jimin’s posture straightens out with the most offended look on his face that he can muster. “So I think you should just let her have this.”

Before Jimin can argue, the doors to the Gravitron open and Seokjin, Namjoon, and Yoongi all come stumbling out with Jungkook following soon after. Yoongi and Seokjin look a bit pale, Namjoon looks like he’s about to go into shock, and Jungkook’s smiling as if a girl just agreed to show him her tits. A pretty normal situation if you do say so yourself. You can hear Yoongi mumbling something to himself as the four of them approach the exit, and as he gets closer, you begin to laugh when you realize what he’s saying.

“Never again!” he exclaims as he straightens up, wobbling in place he points as menacingly as he can at Jungkook. “I am never ever doing that again!”

“Agreed,” Jin groans and you reach forward to pat his back as he leans against the railing.

“Jin, did you smoke too?” Hoseok asks, a bit shocked. Jin is usually one of the more responsible ones out of the eight of you, so you’re a bit surprised as well since he’s one of the two people that drove tonight. 

The eldest shakes his head and takes a deep shuddering breath. “No, I just forgot how fucking horrible that ride is. Honestly, how does anyone enjoy that? It feels like my brain was trying to squeeze out of my ears.”

“Let’s just walk it off,” Namjoon suggests, voice barely above a whisper and you know that he’s just barely holding himself back from throwing up in front of you all. “Why don’t we go to one of those funhouses?”

You all agree and make your way through the carnival, and are surprised to find a funhouse that was already on. “Jackson probably forgot to turn it off,” Hoseok shrugs as he steps forward to pull aside the plastic curtain and enter. “Yells at us to make sure to leave everything like we found it and he can’t even follow his own rules.”

As you enter the funhouse, a chill runs down your spine and you shiver, stepping a bit closer to your boyfriend to allow his warmth to wash over you. The boys are all joking around as you make your way through but you can’t help but feel like something is off. It feels like there’s something… watching you and you keep hearing whispering in between all of their exclamations of what sounds like your name. But it’s too dark to see anything and the other boys don’t seem to notice anything so you try to shake it off. The further you get into the funhouse though, the more unnerved you get until you’re practically cutting off the circulation in Taehyung’s hand. You’re so consumed in your own thoughts of making it out that you don’t even notice how quiet the boys have gotten. Or how fast you’ve all started walking.

“I don’t want to alarm anyone,” Seokjin says, and you have to strain to hear him because he’s speaking so quietly. “But has anyone noticed the weird banging sounds that have been happening ever since we came in?” A loud bang sounds out, as if to confirm that it is indeed there, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach. 

“Maybe it’s a bad time to bring this up but I swear I saw something in the reflection when we were in the mirror room not too long ago,” Namjoon confesses before looking over at Yoongi, who’s usually always calm but now looks as scared as you feel. “And I’m pretty sure you saw it too.”

“I-I don’t know what I saw,” he stutters out, but the hint of fear in his voice is enough to make Jungkook shiver beside you and Taehyung to push you behind him so that you’re more in the middle of the group. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, I don’t like this.”

You all begin to quickly walk through the attraction and you try your best to ignore everything except for Taehyung’s hand in yours and your friends around you. Jungkook’s hand reaches out for your other hand at a particularly loud noise and that’s when you all begin to haul ass out of there. You haven’t even seen anything but if the hair standing up on the back of your neck is anything to trust then-

“Okay I’m pretty sure I just heard footsteps behind me so fucking run!” Jimin yells from his spot in the back and you turn around to see Seokjin grab his hand as you all begin to run like your lives depend on it.

It’s a struggle to get through all of the obstacles when both of your hands are preoccupied but you refuse to let go as you near the exit. You’re practically shaking as you enter the spinning tunnel and the imbalance that the illusion is making you feel definitely isn’t helping. There’s a metallic smell in the air that causes you to wrinkle your nose and before you can even wonder what it is, Jungkook whips out his phone and turns on the flashlight. Only a gasp escapes your lips when you see the blood that’s dripping down the walls, the red fluid covering most of the glow-in-the-dark paint that was originally splattered on to the tunnel. There’s another loud bang followed by a deep yelling and you all scream as you run out. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest as Jungkook and Taehyung pick up speed, practically pulling you with them as all eight of you sprint through the amusement park. As you run by, all of the rides suddenly turn on, the music blaring and lights flashing almost like a warning. You check behind you to make sure that you all made it out and what you see near the funhouse almost makes your heart stop; there’s a dark figure there, one that you can barely make out because of both the distance and how fast you’ve moving, but you swear that you see it wave at you. 

All of you make it out and you yell at Jin and Jungkook to pull out their keys, not too eager at the thought of slowing down just to wait for them to unlock their cars. You frantically tug at the door handle of Jungkook’s car and dive in just as an ear-piercing scream sounds out. There are more screams, ones of terror, and the lights of all of the rides begin to flash faster and faster before everything goes dark and the gates swing shut on their own. 

“Jungkook, what the fuck are you waiting for?” Taehyung yells from beside you in the back, snapping the younger boy out of his reverie. “Get us out of here!”

Jungkook nods frantically as he starts the car and peels out of the parking lot, Seokjin’s car right behind you guys as you speed away from the carnival. You chance a look behind you but all you can see are the silhouettes of the rides and Jackson’s car still parked in the same place. Jungkook doesn’t slow down until you’re miles away but your breathing doesn’t calm down until you spot the 7-11 that you all were at just last week. 

“Can we stay at your place for the night, Jungkook?” Jimin asks timidly from the passenger seat. “All of us, I mean. Hobi wanted me to ask you too.”

“Yeah,” the youngest agrees, finally turning on the radio and putting it on a low volume just to break through the fear that’s still in the car. “Yeah, I think that would be a good idea.”

He turns and begins to drive towards his house and you rest your head on Taehyung’s shoulder, finally feeling somewhat safe. Your boyfriend presses a reassuring kiss to the top of your head and you feel like you could cry from just how relieved you feel. 

“...So. Maybe you and I should go to my house. My parents aren’t home. And we didn’t get to finish what we started,” Taehyung mumbles lowly in your ear, and you sit up straight to look at him incredulously.

“Taehyung! We almost just got murdered by who knows what and all you can think about is getting your dick wet?” you whisper frantically.

Taehyung stares. 

“Okay fine, I’ll come over, I already told my parents I was probably staying the night at Yeri’s anyways,” you concede with a roll of your eyes, but you chuckle when Taehyung’s hand reaches out to squeeze at your thigh. “Jungkook, would you be able to take Tae and I to his house?” 

“Thank God, I did not want you guys fucking in my house.”

[janiedean]

I’m not in the spn fandom, but I’ve seen some people say it’s homophobic while others are saying that destiel is canon. What’s that about?

oh boy where do I start

so

I’ll try to make it brief but you’ve gotta keep this stuff in mind:

this show went on... at least six years longer than it should have like post s8 it was obvious they were trying to cobble ideas together to air something and by s12 it jumped the shark to a level where it was just ridiculous, so basically everything that’s happened since more or less around then was filler to keep the breathing machine on until the cw laid it to rest

the whole deancas thing came out in a context where... right guys i’ve been there since SEASON THREE WAS AIRING I REMEMBER SHIT so let me tell you that basically until cas was introduced the only fandom ships with a traction were pretty much different declinations of win/cest with the j2 rpf stuff taking like... 99% and 99% of fps and rpf respectively because there was literally no other main and like... not everyone was gonna be into sibling/parental incest or rpf obviously but anyway when castiel showed up basically deancas was the only other m/m ship that actually wasn’t incest floating around and it went big very very soon

now, they had planned to keep cas around as a guest for like some ten eps and then he should have been replaced with another angel character who basically was a human woman who realized she actually was a fallen angel and cas should have died in like s4 ep 10 and anna (the other char) should have been dean’s guide into stopping the apocalypse except that the writers realized castiel was very well-received and the ratings spiked up so they went like QUICK QUICK SWITCH didn’t kill him off and basically gave him the part anna was supposed to have

now now, dean and anna fucked in part two of her two-parter introduction arc lmao or was it even part one but anyway she was supposed to be a love interest and they thought S5 would have been the last so you do your math

then: they’re at S15 and obviously they didn’t go there but

spn fandom also is like... toxicity™ incarnated like before voltron and su there was spn fandom, all the sides were terrible, the side that harassed the actors was worse and like.... sadly a bunch of exclusively j2 people who did harass the actors were also preminent winc/esters and put money into cons and there was a whole circus I can’t even begin getting into but like basically the least dramatic thing that could happen was that the cw would release pictures of dean and cas on their own for promotional reasons and the smm would get a bunch of verbal abuse tweets BECAUSE WHERE IS SAM YOU LOST THE SPIRIT OF THE SHOW

also there were campaigns to fire misha which almost worked for s7 then they saw the ratings dropped when he left and QUICK QUICK LET’S RESUSCITATE HIM lmao

also jensen always was like nah dean’s straight I act like they’re friends but he’s also the guy whose wife got continuously harassed by people who thought she was a cover for his secret rship with jared and so on and like he obviously thinks all shippers are out of control and honestly I can’t even blame him for it since from what I gather some ppl started trailing his kids after school I DON’T KNOW but that’s that

on the other side misha never made a mystery that he played it like cas was in love with dean like he said it at cons pretty much and like..... regardless of everything if there’s one thing misha collins wouldn’t do is milking it for clout bc honestly the guy is a solid ally and has a bi wife/used to be in a poly rship and always put his money where his mouth was re lgbt support so there’s that too

now... back in 2011 and s8 where there was a scene that was the exact EXACT same shit that happened when they canonized my marvel comics #1 ship (like srsly except the marvel ship kissed at the end of that scene) I went like ‘okay they know the undertones they’re obviously marching on it but seeing how this show is and how the fanbase is if it ever goes canon either it’s one sided or it ends with sam becoming a research guru and dean and cas drive off in the sunset hunting monsters without actually saying it out loud’ and it would have been like... soft-not-quite-there canonization but regardless I also said if that ever happens it’s gonna be in the last fifteen minutes of the finale because they don’t want the fandom drama to actually hit them in the face and how to put it, the writing has been a joke for seasons but I can’t even...... blame them for it bc honestly I was tired of fandom drama in S7 imagine working on that since 2005

so like I’m 100% not surprised that whatever’s going down is going down when it’s three episodes from the end actually I’m surprised it didn’t happen in the last ten minutes

now: if cas tells dean openly that he loves him and the context is that he got a curse that sends him to hell if he loves someone (idk I didn’t check the specifics BUT) then it is at least one-sided canon black on white and you can’t say they didn’t make it canon

if he goes to hell and he stays there and that’s it... that’s homophobic and bad and they could have just queerbaited their way through it

except that in this dumb show everyone went to hell twice and came back and cas was introduced as having saved dean from it bodily, so like... if this was a well-written show and they weren’t cowards they’d have dean doing the same for him and realizing he reciprocates getting over his 30+ years of emotional constipation and in that case... wouldn’t be qb

now I’m not betting money on that but they also did this... three eps before the end which sets them up to do it actually so I DON’T KNOW but before deciding it’s homophobic as a whole I’d see how it plays out also bc again this was nEVER gonna happen before the end but the fact that the end kept on being pushed and it wasn’t like... nine seasons but fifteen just made it look ridiculous and like it took them years to get there when if they had been axed in S10 when it would have been merciful.... maybe it wouldn’t have been

so like... either way I wanna see how it plays out but as stated, called in 2011 it could have gone like this the moment we got in the final stretch :)))

anyway: it’s confirmed canon on one side so it’s canon imvho

/shrug

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Second David Job

leverage 1.13

parker AND eliot were both using lil flip notepads when they were casing the museum

- - - - -

they were apart for three months. THREE!!! MONTHS!!!

- - - - -

the whole scene where parker, hardison, eliot and sophie are casing the place and just narrowly missing each other until it all blows up in their faces? BIG doctor who vibes from the episode where donna and the doctor keep barely missing each other until they see each other through the windows and get caught

- - - - -

aww the last dammit hardison of the season

- - - - -

(Hardison drops his helmet as he rounds a corner, followed by two guards)

Hardison (to Eliot): Help me.

Eliot: I got you.

Hardison: Help me, help me!

(Eliot grabs Hardison’s arm and flips him, then gestures to the other guards)

Eliot: I got it.

Eliot: All right, check one floor up. I think I saw another guy dressed just like this one.

Guard: Got it.

Guard 5: Let’s go.

Eliot: Move! (pushes Hardison into the elevator)

Hardison: I'm gonna kick your butt.

Eliot (pushes Hardison): Stand over there!

Hardison: I'm gonna kick your butt

🥰 chaotic boyfriends 🥰

- - - - -

(Sophie walks toward the doors. Parker drops down in front of her)

Parker: Oh! W- Where did you --

Parker: Run now. Talk later

- - - - -

sophie took off her heels to run

- - - - -

okay but I NEED THAT SCENE OF ELIOT, HARDISON, AND PARKER SQUISHED INTO THE BACK SEAT OF NATE’S CAR AS THEY SPEED AWAY, HAVING NOT SEEN EACH OTHER FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS

- - - - -

Hardison: How'd you know we'd be there?

Nate: Last week before the exhibit opens, security almost in place, but not fully staffed. Best time to case the joint. Plus, I did chase all of you at one point or another.

- - - - -

Eliot: Is she in on this?

Sophie: "She" can hear you, okay?

Hardison: Wait a minute. There is no "this," Eliot.

Parker: Sophie did come back for me.

(Nate walks over to the table, which is covered in plans)

Eliot: Wouldn't have had to if she wouldn't have lied to you.

Hardison: No calls for three months. I don't need you people.

Parker: What do you mean, you don’t need us?

Sophie: I’m sorry, I seem to remember a certain job with horses where I backed your play, actually.

Eliot: I don't care! You don't con your crew!

(the four of them begin arguing, talking over each other. Nate whistles to get their attention)

parker immediately backing sophie up? we love a trusting daughter

hardison acting all dismissive and parker IMMEDIATELY calling him out? amazing

eliot having trust issues? we’re sad to see it but not surprised at all lol

- - - - -

Nate: Glen-Reeder security system here.

Parker: And that's not the worst of it. (walks over to table)

Nate: Hmm?

Parker: The Davids are under bulletproof glass on a motion-Detector pad.

Nate: Really?

(the others join them, Nate takes a step back)

Parker: Mm-Hmm.

Sophie: Environmentally sealed…

Nate: Really.

Sophie: …kept at a constant temperature and humidity in the case. I saw them working on the airflow.

(Nate walks away, no one notices)

THE FAMILY BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

- - - - -

Nate: Why'd you come back? We agreed to scatter for six months. All of you–all of you—made an amateur move being there.

Parker: It's too hard to leave a job undone. It's like an itch.

Hardison: I put a lot of work into us, into that office. It was like my second home. I blew up my second home.

Eliot: As annoying as you people are, I quit this crew when I quit this crew. Nobody makes me leave.

Sophie: I just, I really wanted to hurt Sterling.

THEYRE A FAMILY, YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

eliot smiled when nate said he taunted them bc:

1. fuck with sterling at all costs,

2. typical nate, and

3. he MISSED THIS

ALSO

hardison and sophie look exhausted and annoyed when nate said he told them he was going to steal it. meanwhile, parker and eliot fucking smile because yeah, get on their level. they Get It™

- - - - -

the team sitting around the table like old times ,,,

ALSO hardison’s worktable tho,,, half eaten bag of chips, empty bottle of orange soda, mini basketball, etc. we love to see how this man works

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, I think the roof's the way in, but it looks like they've rigged alarm sensors to the skylights.

Parker: I can get around those.

Eliot: Really? And end up on one of the new 20 cameras they got down there from our last little trip to the basement?

Parker: That was fun.

Hardison: Yeah. Could we talk about that?

Parker: Talk about what?

hardison: can we talk about the kiss or ???

parker and eliot are sitting next to each other :)

also eliot is wearing flannel now and we love to see it

- - - - -

Eliot: How'd we miss that?

Nate: Grifter, hitter, hacker, thief. You were all trying to solve your version of the crime instead of just trying to solve the crime. There was a reason we worked together.

- - - - -

Parker: What about Maggie?

parker likes maggie

+

Parker: Okay, look, you always have a plan "b," right? So, fine. Without Maggie, what's the plan "b"?

MASTERMIND PARKER IN SEASON ONE

- - - - -

Nate: You know, I had to ask her out 10 times before we even got a coffee --

Eliot: Coffee? I would love to. Yeah. What time--? In an hour? I, yeah, I would love to. Let me write down where you want to go. I know exactly where that place is at. All right. I'm looking forward to it. (hangs up)

Nate: Yeah, all right -- No.

Eliot: She probably just really wants some hot coffee.

Nate: Shut up!

Eliot: It's not like a date. (pulls his hair back)

Nate: Are you kidding me? You're fixing your hair?

Eliot: Because I’m playing the professor Sinclair dude!

maggie’s thirst + nate ready to die LMFAO

- - - - -

parker, hardison and sophie watching the button cam footage like a soap opera (sophie is literally eating gummy bears lmfao)

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Hardison sit on the stairs as Maggie and Nate stand in the dining room, arguing)

Eliot: I feel used.

lmao poor eliot. although we love to see the ot3 sitting together as a unit

- - - - -

eliot using a tight alias and then using his real phone number? big dumbass energy

- - - - -

Nate: So we replace the rebar, reinforce the concrete, with any luck, they'll never know what hit 'em. And that, that's the plan.

Maggie: You actually expect this to work?

Nate: Um…

Hardison: No, no, you're supposed to say, "wow. That's just crazy enough to work."

Sophie: Incredibly, chance does seem to bend itself to his bizarre machinations.

Parker (whispers): That's his superpower. (smells Maggie)

in this house we love and respect maggie

also dnjsjsjjdnsn under the cork boards there are two (2) big cases of orange soda and beer for eliot

+ now parker is wearing a very pretty flannel that I want

- - - - -

Maggie: I have to check museum inventory.

Nate: Oh. Easy.

(Nate looks at Hardison, who types on a laptop, then shows monitor to Maggie)

Maggie: This is confidential. (takes laptop) You're not reading my e-mails, are you?

Hardison: No. No.

(Maggie looks down at the laptop. Hardison nods to Nate while she’s not looking)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay, why don't you run up to him? Being just a little bit out of breath, it changes the speech rhythms—

[Blackpoole Gallery]

Sophie: --makes it harder to detect a lie.

(Maggie passes Parker, taking Lloyd’s phone, and starts to run)

Maggie: Lloyd!

[Mansion Dining Room]

Hardison: See? Like that right there. It's informative.

Eliot: You learn and you con

it’s true, your honor

- - - - -

Nate: Okay. What's he found?

Hardison: Oh. Well, looky here. Dr. Ernst Volk, University of Berlin, dead. Dr. Schliemann, London museum, dead. Oh. Oh, and also the three guys that actually discovered the tomb. Eliot, what does that say?

Eliot: It says "dead."

Hardison: D-E-D, dead, baby.

Eliot and Nate: D-E-A-D.

Hardison: I-I know how to-- I was throwing a little style on it, Just a little bit, a little style. I know how to spell "dead," damn it. I can steal a bank, I can spell "dead. (annoyedly drinks orange soda)

give him a break pls

- - - - -

Sophie: Wrap it up now, Maggie. You're doing great.

THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY

john rogers said that they had a fling in canon (I’m thinking during sophie’s absence in season two) and bless his soul for giving that to us

- - - - -

Eliot: You need something?

Sophie: I was just trying to make myself useful.

Eliot: Yeah, well, last time you tried that, we had to blow up the office.

Sophie: That's not fair.

Eliot: I was just getting used to it.

Sophie: What? Having an office?

Eliot: Being part of a team.

Sophie: Look, I didn't mean, you know, it wasn't supposed to go down like that.

(Parker walks in and tosses a bag on the floor near Eliot)

Parker: What's going on?

Eliot: Sophie here was just trying to apologize.

(Hardison carries the painting into the room)

Sophie: No, I wasn't.

Parker: She tried that with me earlier. She kind of sucks at it.

Eliot: A little bit.

Hardison: Oh, did she give you the speech about how we're thieves and about how this is what thieves do and if we were in her shoes, we'd have done the same thing?

Eliot: No, I think she was just getting to that part.

(Eliot puts the part he was working on down and stands up)

Eliot: You apologized to him first, huh? Why am I last?

Sophie: I wasn't apologizing. I...

Eliot: That's the problem.

Sophie: I just wanted to see if w-we… we were all okay with each other.

Eliot: Okay. There it is.

Parker: I forgive you.

Hardison: Apology accepted.

Eliot: Yeah.

they give sophie shit but they still love her

also eliot is such a sap he misses the office and even admits that he liked having a team what a SOFTIE

- - - - -

Geary: Pictures have been distributed. We're scanning every guest that comes into the museum.

Sterling: Eliot Spencer?

Geary: Eliot Spencer, (referencing files) wanted in five countries, including Myanmar—

(Eliot walks behind Geary and Sterling, pausing to listen for a moment as they walk away from him)

Geary: --which is offering a half-million-dollar bounty on his head.

Sterling: Bringing Spencer to justice and getting paid for it? It's icing on the cake.

(Geary and Sterling get into an elevator)

[Museum Lobby]

(Geary and Sterling walk out of the elevator)

Sterling: Parker?

Geary: Parker. Wanted in nine countries, including Brazil and Yemen.

Sterling: Yeah, tough choice. I'll have to flip a coin.

(Parker is working in the gift shop of the lobby, watching them walk by)

Sterling: How about Sophie Devereaux?

Geary: England, France, Spain, Luxembourg -- Europe, basically.

Sterling: France. Wonderful shopping, horrifying prisons.

(they walk past Sophie, who stifles a laugh)

[Mechanical Room]

(Hardison turns on a light on his hat, opening a panel and attaching clips)

Sterling: Alec Hardison.

Geary: Well, he better not show his face in Iceland

I LOVED THIS MONTAGE

also we love to learn more about the team

- - - - -

on hardison’s phone when it shows their synchronized countdowns, he has himself down as “big h”

- - - - -

Ian: Conspiracy to commit robbery is what, five years? Catching him in the act, 20.

- - - - -

nate rappelled in this one!

- - - - -

nate snatching the gun right out of blackpool’s hand? eliot taught him that and you CANNOT change my mind.

- - - - -

Ian: Maggie!

(Ian walks over to Maggie, followed by Nate and Sterling)

Ian: Well, you understand –

(Maggie punches Ian in the face. He falls to the floor)

Maggie: Screw therapy. That felt really good. (walks away)

we stan a QUEEN

- - - - -

Sterling: Of course, you know your entire plan depended on me being a self-serving, utter bastard.

Nate: Hmm. Yeah, that's a stretch.

(Nate hands Sterling the gun and heads for the door)

Sterling: I'll call you when it's done.

Nate: You do that

- - - - -

(the team stands in a circle, dressed for travelling)

Nate: Thank you, all of you. You surprised me.

Eliot: We had a good run.

Hardison: It's a good time to move on.

Parker: I'm going somewhere... else.

Sophie: A fresh start.

Nate: We made a difference. Remember that.

Hardison (to Parker): Where you going?

Parker: Let's see how hard you look.

(the team separates reluctantly, each going a different direction. They all pause for a long moment, then the screen goes to black)

parker and hardison are still cute, parker is about to cry, hardison and eliot look very sad and almost tearing up, and sophie is actually crying

also hardison was the last one to turn around and that’s so in character it hurts my heart

+ the ot3 were each wearing leather jackets (plus eliot wearing a hoodie underneath = bix2)

I hate the scenes when they split up and the producers said that they ended every season as if that was final anD B O Y IF I HAD TO WATCH THAT AND HAVE IT BE THE END I WOULD HAVE R I O T E D

[kyn19]

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age Part 2 - Balthier, Ashe and Vayne + Overall Review

I am surprised at the assassination of Emperor Gramis, and I’m not sure what to think of it. I wouldn’t discount Vayne from being capable of killing his father, since really, killing him presents more pros than cons, especially considering his old age and his alignment with peace (like Larsa) rather than war and military might (that Vayne grew up with and believes in). In addition, with the greedy Senate constantly trying to put Larsa as a puppet on the throne, Vayne needs to solidify his rule if he wants to protect Larsa and the Empire imo. Tbh, with how Vayne seems to be, I feel like he wants to do all the dirty work and then have Larsa get to live peacefully or something. On the other hand, Gabranth seems rather loyal to Gramis, since he was giving him updates on Vayne. He also seems to be aligned with Larsa, it was kinda hard to watch him have to kill the other lady Judge that was on his side to prove his fealty to Vayne though.

Who would have thought that Balthier was once upon a time a judge for a brief time? And to think that his father is the Cid guy at Draklor lab obsessed with nethicite. I think it must have been pretty disheartening to see his father like that and even have to make the choice to run away instead of staying with him. I think I can kinda understand better why Balthier chose to continue to go on this journey with everyone. He’s been running away from everything all this time, he probably thinks that it’s about time he faced it all, especially when despite all his efforts to escape from his father etc, in the end he gets roped up with Ashe and them anyway. It was nice of Balthier to tell Ashe his story hoping that she wouldn’t follow in the footsteps of his father, and be obsessed with the powers of a stone to rule Dalmasca. Cid seems pretty interesting! Not only does he have Venat (one of the Occurians, a heretic though) beside him, but I thought his plan to lead the party to Giruvegan to get the nethicite/treaty sword was smart. Well, the party don’t really have a choice either way though even if it’s a trap, since they do need the power, and only Ashe could have been chosen by the Occurians to wield it (due to her having the Dynast-King’s blood). I have to say though, Giruvegan was an annoying place lmao, I honestly didn’t remember anything much about FFXII, but I definitely remember summoning Belias to get through, and I probably got lost the first time as well, because dang were those areas a hassle to get through lol. But seriously, you can tell with how the Occuria acted with Ashe that they see humans as beneath them, and they just want to use Ashe to destroy the Empire because they’re trying to forge a future without their “guidance”. Yay, I always love guests so it’s nice to have Reddas join the party to venture to the Sun-Cryst. It’s kinda interesting how big of a decision Ashe will have to make when she gets there though. Will she choose to destroy it and all the nethicite or will she choose to break a piece off of it to make nethicite strong enough to fight against the Dawn Shard etc? It’s kinda nice but also saddening that Balthier is leaving the Strahl (his airship) to Vaan if anything were to happen to him…

I thought it was pretty cool to see how so many people around Ashe were trying to influence her decision, especially with the appearance of Gabranth revealing why Reddas decided to come here with them; it’s because he was also an ex-Judge, and he used the Midlight Shard once upon a time and destroyed Nabudis. It was because of that, he wanted Ashe to not repeat his mistake. Cid is certainly pretty out of his mind due to his research and will to experiment, it’s kinda saddening that Balthier and the others had to kill him in order to stop him. At the same time though, I feel like for Cid, he feels sane whilst insane? Haha. Is this the first time a Cid in the FF games has been evil though? How interesting~ Didn’t think the Sun-Cryst would go crazy like that though, it was disheartening to watch Reddas sacrifice his life to break it using the sword, never really realised that anyone could wield the sword to break it though, I thought it had to be Ashe lol. Either way, a difficult end, but something that one of them had to do. To think that the Sun-Cryst awakened Bahamut though! That is something to look forward to. Terrible that the impending war is now practically happening now though, and Dalmasca will be the battleground. Larsa’s heart is in the right place, but Vayne is right, if Larsa wants to show and prove that Vayne’s methods are wrong, he needs to muster the power to show him that his way is right then. Vayne is ruthless but that’s how he’s survived all this time and protected Larsa. It’s not easy when he has to put his guard up against most of the people around him. It was pretty brutal when Vayne shot that laser and destroyed a few of the Marquis’ ships, the Marquis honestly really doesn’t have much of a choice but to rely on Ashe and party to stop Vayne from inside the Bahamut tbh. I guess it’s good that Larsa is helping them out lol.

Well that last bit leading to the ending wasn’t long at all! Legit just defeat Gabranth and then killed three forms of Vayne and you’re done! Anyway, I’m not sure how I feel about the ending because it felt kind of rushed. But I guess I didn’t mind it either. I really liked how loyal Gabranth was to Larsa, so it was kinda saddening to see him die, but I think it was great to see Basch fulfill his dying wish by succeeding him as a judge and thus supporting Larsa’s rule. I think it’s really interesting how they truly are twins in the sense that even though they were on different sides, their loyalty to their liege was very similar throughout the game. Honestly though, it’s hard to think of Vayne as an “evil” person, like yes, he’s done terrible things that has caused people to die, I don’t doubt that, but I think you can really understand his motivations? He’s always been protective of Larsa, so a lot of my impressions of what Vayne did kinda felt like he set up everything that came to be through his regime of violence was so that he could give the best setting for Larsa’s idea of peaceful negotiations between countries to come to be. With the state of the Empire as it was when Gramis was alive or even when he died etc, it was obvious that Larsa didn’t have the power and influence to achieve what he wanted, but through Vayne’s actions, people were able to see the contrast between them. Also, Vayne needed to ensure that the Occuria who still think they have the right to interfere and rule over humans had no more power in doing that, in order to ensure that Larsa in the future wouldn’t have to encounter such problems. Destroying the Sun-Cryst fulfilled that and I’m happy they were able to free humanity even if their methods were questionable. I think Vayne underestimated Larsa’s strength and conviction though, but I think he’d be happy if he was wrong about that imo. 

Anyway! Seeing Balthier the leading man protect Dalmasca by directing the falling Bahamut elsewhere with Fran was awesome! I knew he wouldn’t die, but I found it hilarious how later on, he just randomly took his Strahl back from Vaan and Penelo who were maintaining it hahaha. I also found Penelo’s new look really cute! Much better than her old look haha. It would be nice to see it as a costume in DFFOO! I find Ashe’s ending rather lonesome and saddening? She did everything to reclaim her throne and her people, and yet in the end, she loses the people she journeyed with to become Queen. I guess it’s normal though, and I guess like Penelo, I do hope that Basch can one day go back to be beside her. It’s nice to see that Vaan and Penelo get to be like Balthier and Fran, and travel together as sky pirates haha. I wish we actually got to see Balthier and Fran again though. Oh well.

Overall, honestly FFXII kinda renders the same feelings I did when I first played it, maybe it’s a bit more positive this time though! Like, really, I did enjoy the story but I definitely found the characters and their development lacking, mainly everyone aside from Balthier, Vayne and maybe Ashe, but then Ashe only really drives the story and doesn’t really thrive as a character so hmm. I feel like they could have added more scenes to really develop the others because I felt that I was just following along for the story, but didn’t really care for the characters. I still really liked Balthier’s personality and his background though and I find that the highlight of FFXII, especially when he interacted with Ashe and kinda told her about his past. But yeah, there were a lot of scenes I liked and I did enjoy it overall, but I’m not a fan of the gameplay either, so I kinda gave up on the side missions hahaha. I honestly took so long to finish the game because I just couldn’t get into it lol. BUT, I love how customisable the gambits are omg! It’s so crazy how much time I put into experimenting with them haha, but despite that, I found the gameplay rather tedious so I just went through the story. And yes, the story is really short imo, it felt like it would have been a great movie instead haha. Also yes, if FFVII Remake had even a tiny bit of these gambits, I think I would have cried in frustration less lmao. Anywho! Nice story, execution kinda choppy and short but still good, gameplay average, and characters just a means to an end. 7/10 imo haha.