#all the trauma involved in being raised in a bourgeois family structure bludgeoned by all that
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WELP.
i am not able for this level of family drama 🫠
#so everyone knows#except for their immediate family#and me and sis 2 are playing mediators to try and keep everyone's heads together and trying to protect those most vulnerable#bc my god is this playing out just as fucking dramatic as you'd imagine#literally imagine the intersection btw transfemme gender expression#boomer aged oppression around that#first gen immigrant anxiety and machismo#all the trauma involved in being raised in a bourgeois family structure bludgeoned by all that#for *all* members of the family bc WHEW#and then top that with a dollop of the evangelical fanaticism of a convert passed down to the next generation#who have been coddled with a distinct lack of critical thinking skills in order to successfully induce that inherited fanaticism#and whoooo baby you've got a stew going on#I haven't fully processed any of this bc I've just been in crisis mode with my sisters#just trying to keep the religious fuckery from causing even more harm to my relative than it already has#while trying to give compassion to family members who are fully recontextualising entire relationships#and who are feeling genuine turmoil bc of really shitty and harmful decisions that my relative has made in the last few weeks#but also over decades of really antagonistic relationship dynamics#this kind of feels like when hurricane sandy happened and no one in my family had means of direct communication with each other#but they could get moments of internet connection and contact me so I was like the switchboard operator for everyone#kind of outside of the storm but trying to help make sure everyone was safe#yeah idk like i genuinely believe that all of my family members are actually good ppl and will make good decisions#but I'm also aware of the fact that i can't sit back and expect that to happen bc there are material issues at hand that could lead to harm#so yeah.#YEAH.#it'll be ok.#but goddamn
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