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spacesquidlings · 7 months

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It Is The Time You've Spent On Your Rose

When she wakes before Xavier, she finds herself compelled to free herself from his arms, to show him that she cares, to spend time on him and making his smile bloom

Pairing: Xavier x MC Tags: Fluff, domestic fluff, sleepy morning cuddles, cooking Taglist: @aluneposting

“It’s the time you’ve spent on your rose that makes your rose so important.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “The Little Prince”

Sunlight tracked across the floor, illuminating the fallen bodies of all the plushies that had tumbled from the precipice of the bed. Only one lone survivor remained, the purple unicorn they had won together. She had tucked it in her arms, clutching it tightly through the night, even as the others had toppled to the floor.

Just as tightly as she held onto her plushie, Xavier held onto her. His arms looped around her middle, his face buried in the back of her neck. He clung to her as though he was worried she would vanish, that she would be snatched away while he was lost to his dreams.

She didn’t even remember falling asleep, only that she’d been tucked against his chest, reading quietly, her precious unicorn plushie in the crook of her arm. Her eyes had been heavy, and he was always so warm, and his heartbeat had been so soothing. Slow and steady, like the pulse of a soundless lullaby.

She felt that slow thrum against her back, her mind relaxing as it pulsed steadily against her. His breath feathered against the back of her neck, warm and ticklish. When she shifted his arms only tightened, unwilling to let her go.

She brought the plushie up to her face, propping her cheek against its head as she watched the sunlight stretch across the floor. It was still early morning, the light pallid and watery, not yet the rich gold of late morning that painted the world in gold. The air was touched with warmth, another chord in the lullaby still lilting quietly in her ears, a siren song coaxing her back to sleep.

It was far too easy to doze off, snuggled so comfortably in his arms, his body a reassuring weight behind her. She felt as though she could sleep the entire day away if she remained her, caught in his gravity like planets orbiting the sun.

Yet as time ticked by she slowly woke more and more, the allure of sleep lost to her as her shoulder began to ache from lying on her side for so long, as dull pangs of hunger rioted in her belly. Comfortable as she was, and captivating as lying in bed until well past noon was, she knew she had to get up soon.

She squirmed, testing the strength of his hold. Each time she shifted his arms seemed to tighten, remaining locked around her, stronger than iron. How he managed to keep his hold so firm even in sleep baffled her.

As she flopped back against the pillow he murmured something incomprehensible, breath tickling her skin as he nuzzled against her neck, as he curved his body around hers. It made her wonder what he was dreaming about, what scenes were playing out in the galaxies of his mind that made him move closer still, that made him cling to her the way he did.

Although she was resigning herself to her fate of being trapped in bed until Xavier finally awoke, her stomach was not. It grumbled, dissatisfied with her singular attempt at escape, pain ricocheting through her empty belly for good measure.

Groaning under her breath, she steeled herself, twisting around as much as she could. “Xavier?” She searched for his face where it was buried against her. He only grunted in response, head lolling back, giving her just a sliver of space, enough to see the flush of his cheeks as he slept.

She tried again, managing to fully roll onto her other side to face him as she murmured his name. “Xavier? Love?”

And all she got for her efforts was a quiet snort, his head falling forward, nearly colliding with hers.

She held her plushie up to her face, giggling.

This sweet, sleepy man was so at odds with the hunter she knew on missions. In battle he was so serious, focused, his emotions guarded. Sometimes she couldn’t even tell when he was in pain, not until she pressed him and he caved to her badgering.

Even when they were not on missions, when they were enjoying a little peace, visiting the arcade or looking for new restaurants or quietly reading together, he was still stoic, quiet. Often his lips would be quirked into a small smile, like the first silvery crescent after a darkened new moon. His eyes would be warm, like water dappled with summer sunlight. But he would be calm, almost aloof, so much hidden behind that serene smile and his placid expression.

It was in the rarest of moments, the ones that she cherished most, precious memories that found their way into her dreams, he would smile brightly. His cheeks and ears would flush the colour of spring blooms, his lips would curve upwards, soft and sweet as honey-stained tea, as a bouquet of peonies filling the room with the smell of something warm and tender that she dared not yet name.

Those particular moments were few and far between, when she could coax out a smile that put sunlight to shame, that made her heart ache for all the mirth and unguarded joy in his eyes, in the creases of his face. They made her knees weak and her stomach sprout gossamer wings, flying as high as it dared, trying to escape beyond spun-sugar clouds.

There was something about this moment that reminded her of those times. He was not awake, not laughing, not rolling star-touched eyes at her for saying something that made him blush. But as she listened to him sigh, as she watched him settle once more, head sinking into his pillow, she could feel her heart pressing against her ribs, bone cracking and cartilage rending from the pressure as she peered at his sleeping face.

He seemed so young, almost vulnerable, and it made her heart ache all the more that he would let her see him like this. His hair was a mess, a halo of moonlight around his head, soft and fluffy as the plushie now wedged between them.

There were depths in his eyes that she could not reach, her lungs failing her before she could swim that deep. But tangled in the blankets together now, he was not fathomless, he was not so unknowable as the starlight left behind from celestial bodies that had long since burned out. He was just…

He was him. He was Xavier, warm and sweet, his heartbeat keeping time to the song of his blood, his smile like starlight lighting up her life.

She reached for him without thinking, her hands trembling as her fingertips brushed against the feathery edges of his hair. It was soft, as moonlight puddling on water, spilling through the glass of her windows at night.

When he did not stir she grew bolder, tracing her fingers down the side of his jaw, gingerly caressing his cheek, feeling the heat of his breath as she sketched her fingers over his lips. Her mind tripped, thoughts spiralling away as she imagined, like the sun emerging from the horizon in the morning sky, the curve of his smile beneath her fingers, against her skin.

Her cheeks heated and she moved her hand away quickly, brushing against his neck as she tried to banish the treacherous thoughts. They were chased by the echo of his breathy laughter, dredged up from her memories as her face continued to burn, as her stomach twisted and somersaulted with abandon. His laughter in the air, his fingers encircling her wrist, slowly drawing her hand to his lips, pressing kisses into her palm as her pulse thrummed like hummingbird wings.

It was as she lowered her hand in distraction, fingertips barely grazing his throat, that Xavier shifted.

Not so subtle of a movement as shifting, but flinched, breath catching before he settled once more, the momentary lines in his brow melting away.

And she remembered exactly how ticklish he was.

It was easy enough to put her plan into action, now that it was more than wiggling around helplessly in the hopes he would loosen his hold. Now all she did was reach for the sensitive places on his throat, behind his ears, along his shoulders, down his sides. She didn’t even need to add that much pressure, nothing more than a soft graze of the pads of her fingers over his skin, a light touch that could have been nothing more than the wind.

The results were instantaneous. One moment he was nestled comfortably in the blankets, his face serene, relaxed. The next he was shivering, twisting from side-to-side as he tried to escape her hands. He huffed, his brow furrowing, and then his arms were growing slack, just as he was rolling onto his back in an attempt to flee.

Biting the inside of her cheek to hold back her laughter, lest it be the final straw that woke him fully, she bolted from the bed, still clutching her unicorn plushie in her arms as she made her daring escape.

It wasn’t until she had fled from the room, flinging herself down the hall, that she allowed herself to laugh. She shoved her face against the plushie’s side, giggling maniacally, shocked that her plan had worked, and that Xavier somehow hadn’t woken up.

She couldn’t stop smiling, dancing on her toes as she made her way into the kitchen, energy crackling along her nerves like lightning as it cut through a storm-darkened sky.

She had slept much longer than she usually did, her dreams deeper, her sleep more restful with Xavier beside her. And now she was filled with energy, as though a million stars had bloomed in her veins, as though she were made up of galaxies of light.

She would have to put all this liveliness to good use. Maybe they could go out today, try to win more plushies at the arcade. Maybe they could go to the store and find new books now that Xavier was nearly done the ones she had lent him. They could take a walk by the water, or they could try out a new café she’d been hearing about for weeks, or-

Her stomach cramped, cutting off the excited flurry of her thoughts.

Before she got ahead of herself, she needed to eat something. And Xavier would need to eat something too, when he finally did wake up.

“I should probably make some breakfast, huh?” She lifted her plushie up, voicing her thoughts aloud. “What do you think Xavier would want to eat?”

He’d been talking about crêpes lately, and soufflé, although the last few times he’d tried making them he’d ended up setting off the fire alarms in both their apartments.

“Why not…” She trailed off, tapping the unicorn’s horn to trigger the miniature fireworks. “Why not something like soufflé pancakes? That’s a thing, right?”

The plushie watched her quietly, and she imagined it was telling her that she’d come up with a wonderful idea. That Xavier would be so delighted that he’d smile one of those sweet, heart-rending smiles that made her knees weak.

She swiped her phone from where she’d left it the night before, searching up recipes as she snuck back to the bedroom to change. She’d never tried making this before, and she didn’t want to splatter ingredients all over her pajamas.

She didn’t bother tiptoeing as she dressed, knowing how deeply Xavier slept. She was certain he could sleep through an earthquake if he was tired enough. Still, she dressed quickly, snagging what she thought was her sweater and pulling it on before she grabbed her plushie and slipped from the room.

“Alright, it’s time to get to work.” She spoke to the plushie, settling it on the kitchen table to supervise.

Perhaps it was childish, but it made her smile all the same. It was her most precious of all the plush and dolls she had won with Xavier at the arcade, and she’d gotten attached. She’d often set it somewhere to keep watch while she cooked in her own apartment, or she’d settle it next to her while she watched a movie, and she would always tuck it into bed beside her when she slept alone.

Getting started was easy enough, collecting all the ingredients she needed. Xavier may have been more dangerous in the kitchen than he was during missions, but he always kept his fridge and his cupboards stocked. It only took her a few moments to collect everything she needed, the eggs, the sugar, the flour, the milk and butter, the vanilla.

All her ingredients collected and organized beside her plushie, next was the more difficult part of the process. The actual cooking.

She had to separate the egg whites from the yolks, combining the yolks with a number of the ingredients, mixing them together until they were well blended. Then she had to whisk the egg whites until they formed little peaks. Only then could she mix everything together, carefully folding a small portion of the egg whites into the batter before adding in the rest.

She had to be meticulous, the recipe demanding careful precision. It was far more complex than what she usually made herself for breakfast, usually content with fruit or toaster waffles or eggs. And sometimes, when she was feeling particularly extravagant, all three together.

But the intricacies of the recipe were worth it, certainly. She wanted them to be worth it. Even if there were a hundred more steps requiring perfection, they would certainly be worth it.

Xavier had undoubtedly grown used to whatever charred remains that could be scrounged from his attempts at cooking, or greasy takeout on the days he was most exhausted. But making him something warm and fluffy and delicious for when he awoke would surely make him smile, wouldn’t it?

She imagined him in her mind, glowing bright as a star, loosening his hold on his evol while in the midst of his delight. The blue of his eyes would glow, a serene cerulean like the surface of a lake. His lips would quirk up, a soft laugh spilling from him when she showed him what she’d made.

It was nothing more than a daydream, and yet yearning tangled around her ribs, working its way through her heart as ivy found its way through stone and brick. She wanted to see his smile, she wanted to make him happy. She wanted to bask in his warmth as though she were napping beneath a summer sun.

As she began warming up the skillet, watching as the rectangle of butter she’d tossed onto its dark surface began to melt, she wondered if there was anything else she could make. Xavier was prone to sleeping late, sometimes well-past noon, which would give her plenty of time to make something else.

He’d been talking nonstop about a pop-up bakery he’d missed while away for work, specializing in pies and tarts. He’d even shown her a menu in a moment of bright-eyed fervor, telling her about how the bakery had advertised a cranberry cheesecake tart that he’d wanted to try.

“I’ve been dreaming of it for weeks!”

She’d laughed, mussing his hair as he’d laid back, his head falling into her lap. “Do you even like cranberries?”

“Of course I do, I like most foods.”

Could she make one of those tarts, too? She’d never made one before, but surely there was a recipe she could find?

Although she’d definitely have to run out to the store to pick up more ingredients. Xavier kept his apartment well stocked, but she doubted even he had the ingredients to make a cranberry cheesecake on hand.

The sizzle of the butter drew her back to the present, away from the starless depths of her thoughts. She had pancakes to make first, before anything else.

Yet even as she tried to focus on the task at hand, her mind still wandered. She should get some fruit anyways, to go with the pancakes. Something fresh and sweet to balance it out. Strawberries, maybe? Or raspberries? Maybe she could get mangos, if they were in season, peel them and cut them into cute shapes and pile them next to the pancakes.

She flipped one pancake, two, three, nearly an entire plate of fluffy soufflé pancakes still warm, resting on the counter next to the stove as she mulled over what else she could do. What else she could make to coax a smile from Xavier, to give him even a twinkle of happiness when he first awoke.

She hummed, oblivious to everything but the task in front of her and the glimmering ideas blooming in her mind. So when arms slipped around her waist, warm breath ghosting over the shell of her ear, she very nearly screamed.

Like a window slamming shut, condemning a room to shadows and darkness, she was cut away from her quiet musings. She spun, struggling to process what was going on, the imaginings in her mind overlaid with the very real present.

A huff of laughter, a crinkle of sky blue eyes. “It’s just me, it’s only me, love.”

“Xavier!” His name was a plea, a prayer. And it was a song, a sigh, sunbeams gilding everything they touched in gold.

His answering chuckle was warm, his arms tightening around her as they had before. Sleep still clung to him, in the lines of his face where his cheek had been smushed against the pillow, in the disarray of his hair.

“Good morning.” His words slurred together, a burgeoning yawn he barely managed to cover his mouth. His brow fell against hers, the tickle of his soft bangs making her smile.

“Good morning to you, too.” She reached up to cup his cheek, the weight of his head leaning against her palm as he sighed. “What are you doing up so early? Don’t you usually sleep in much later than this?”

“Usually I do,” he agreed, nuzzling the tip of his nose against hers. “But I was so cold that I woke up.”

“You were cold?” She couldn’t keep the incredulity from her voice, not when she knew how warm he could become, when he was content and happy, the light of his evol warming him.

He nodded, his head falling to the side, resting on her shoulder. She thought he would close his eyes, but they remained open, fixed on her, a glimmer of something that seemed an awful lot like mischief sparking in his eyes before vanishing into that cloudless blue. “I was cold, and then I woke up and you were gone.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, my love.”

“That’s okay.” Now his eyes did close, a pleased smile on his lips.

She would have happily stood with him like this until the day ended and night drew them into sleep once more, but a part of her mind screamed at her to remember the pancakes.

She patted his cheek until he lifted his head, his eyes wide and round, his lips pulled into the beginnings of a pout. She wasn’t even sure if he was trying, and yet he made the most devastating puppy dog eyes she had seen. Glassy as a quiet lake of moonlight, fathomless as the space between stars.

But the pancake she’d only just flipped when he’d surprised her would burn soon if she wasn’t paying attention, and she couldn’t afford to turn to jelly now when breakfast was on the line.

“Why don’t you go sit down? You still look a little tired.”

That was an understatement. He yawned again, sleep a mantle that weighed heavy on his shoulders. His head drooped, ashy bangs obscuring the starlight in his eyes.

“But I missed you.” The admission was cotton-ball soft, a swirling mote in a beam of butter-yellow light. It was quiet, gentle as a breeze rustling amongst leaves, and yet it cleaved apart the cage of her ribs, her traitorous heart bleeding as the shards of bone sliced through her.

A dramatic response to four little words, chased by another yawn and accompanied by the smell of pancakes on the cusp of burning. But something in her heart, in the marrow of her bones, was forever reaching towards him. She was a newly bloomed flower and he was the sun, emerging from the horizon to fill her heart and veins with warmth.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, the yawning chasm of the wound that had only seemed to make itself known now that he was a part of her life. She was bleeding and he was the stitches, the balm, the bandages that made her whole again. She needed him or she would surely exsanguinate like a hunted beast.

The strings of her heart and the hollows of her bones sang in resonance with him, with his light. She hadn’t realized she’d felt so restless and alone, like an unfinished chord severed from its song. Yet his quiet presence was the final note, music drawing her in, filling in the blanks she hadn’t known were missing.

Her lost harmonies, his warming melodies, an echo blooming between them both. A reverberation of ‘I know you,’ and ‘I miss you,’ threatening to shatter her and rebuild her like a crescendo.

And softer still, trailing after the pinnacle of the song, a twist of languid notes like fingers twined and palms pressed together, like a lonely, keening cry, ‘I need you.’

It didn’t make any sense to her, the feeling that she knew him, that she missed him. But when he spoke in the downy soft, hushed tones she was growing used to in the quiet of their moments together, her breath held, her heart stopped. His words echoed, and she nearly crumbled beneath them.

It was with a shaky breath that she managed a terse “fine,” before twisting in his arms, focusing her attention on the pancake, quickly lifting it from the pan and settling it on the pile of them on the counter beside her.

Saved, just in time, or it would have been nothing but charcoal.

Behind her now, Xavier nestled closer, his arms tightening around her waist, his chin perching on her shoulder. “Did you miss me?”

‘Yes,’ her bones screamed. ‘I missed you so much,” cried her heart.

There was no sense to it at all, the yearning, the ache in her marrow. Perhaps though, there was no sense to be found in it. She could feel a nameless thing lurking in the burning tributaries of her veins, gaining strength each time it passed through her heart, although she still refused to give it form.

There was never much sense in such things, in the waxing of feelings that grew and grew until they ruled over the tides in her veins, the ebb and flow of every beat of her heart.

“Yes,” she said at last, as she poured batter onto the skillet, watched as it grew fluffy and brown. For now she didn’t have to give it form; she didn’t have to define its shape and its name when it was not much more than a seedling beginning to sprout.

For now she could be content in the warmth of his arms and the weight of his body against her back and the growing pile of pancakes at her side.

“I missed you very much.”

From the corner of her eye she saw as he lifted his head, regarded her with sleepy curiosity. “Why did you get up?”

“I was hungry,” she said, tossing another pancake onto the plate. There wasn’t much batter left, and she would be done soon. “And I wanted to make you something you would enjoy.”

He hummed, resting his cheek on her shoulder. “Pancakes?”

“Soufflé pancakes.”

More humming, the press of his lips to her throat. “That sounds good.”

“Well you were talking about soufflé the other day, and I thought you might want to try this!”

He chuckled, sighing into her skin as he kissed her again. “Thank you, beloved.”

“And…” She hadn’t been sure if she would make anything else for him, but his tender murmurations against her throat made her weak, needy for even the smallest of praise. “I was thinking of making something else later, if you’d like.”

“Oh?” He straightened, rubbing his nose against her jaw. “What is it?”

Like the never-ending pull of gravity that spun the planets of the solar system around the sun, she was caught in his orbit, illuminated by the light that spilled from him. Already she knew she was lost to him, a moon cradled in the hold of its planet, its star.

But even moons had hidden sides to them, and she wanted to surprise him, wanted to delight him. Before she hadn’t been sure, but she was resolved. Even if she failed, she would try to make him more treats, if only to coax the embers of his smile into brilliant flame.

“It’s a secret,” she said, smiling when he groaned. “You’ll just have to wait.”

She could feel his frown, dangerously close to a pout as he pressed his face against her cheek, trying to ply the truth from her. She caved to him so easily, crumbling like an overbaked crust beneath the slightest of touches. He just had to fix those soft blue eyes on her, had to take her hand or nuzzle against her cheek.

How could she ever say no to him? How could a moon deny her star?

“Nope!” Her voice wobbled even as she turned her head away, not wanting to fall for the trap of meeting his eyes. “I’m not telling.”

Xavier made a soft, disgruntled sound in the back of his throat, but he didn’t press her further. Instead, he only held her tighter, resting his forehead on her shoulder again.

For a while there was silence, the quiet sizzle of the batter on the pan and their twining breaths the only sounds in the kitchen. She returned to her humming, idly running her fingers through his hair, leaning into his embrace. They swayed gently to the rhythm of her song, the slow, steady beat of his heart thrumming against her back, keeping tempo.

She was certain he had fallen asleep again, his breaths even, feathering against the side of her neck, his arms ever-so-slightly loosening their grip.

But when she called his name, no louder than the rustle of leaves sprouting in the spring, he roused quickly. His eyes, sapphire blue and bleary as they found hers, seemed to glow.

“Yes, beloved?” The nickname sent ribbons of sunshine twisting through her, illuminating every bone and tributary, warming her all the way to her curled toes. It was something a prince would say to his princess, what a knight would say to his queen.

It had fled from his lips once, and although his ears had tinged pink and he had looked away for the briefest of moments, he had smiled, and it had clung to her ever since.

Clearing her throat, she quickly looked away, focusing all her attention on scraping out the last of the batter, and not on the heat that danced across her nerves, sent tingles flaring in her fingertips and toes. “I wasn’t sure if you’d fallen asleep.”

“I might have for just a minute.” His hand found hers, fingers interlocking. “But can you blame me? I’m so comfortable.”

“Standing up?” She laughed, doing her best to flip the final pancake one-handed.

His soft laughter ruffled her hair, warm as a caress, as sunlight falling against her cheek. “With you, silly. It’s so much more comfortable with you in my arms.”

She was thankful she was facing away from him as her face flamed. She didn’t have to look in a mirror to know her cheeks were stained the colour of overripe tomatoes. Even her ears felt like they’d caught fire, his words a match held to her skin, burning until fiery sunset red was all that remained.

She ducked her head, her unbound hair falling over her face, veiling her flush from Xavier’s keen eyes. She could only hope he hadn’t spotted the heat flaring at the tips of her ears.

She swallowed, her voice a warble when she was able to find her words. “If you’re tired, you should lie down. Breakfast shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“I don’t want to.” He spoke with the susurrus of the wind, hiding beneath it the telltale petulance of a whine, childish in its refusal.

It surprised her, coaxed a smile from her as realization dawned on her. She turned in his arms, the batter used, the tower of pancakes cooling, reminding her of the turret of a princess castle.

She cupped his cheeks, his brows disappearing beneath the fringe of his bangs as she held his face. “Then what do you want to do, my sunshine?”

Now he was the one to blush, a delicate pink unfurling like cherry blossoms in spring. It spread from his cheeks, creeping up to his ears as the colour deepened to the flush of dawn. But unlike her, Xavier didn’t look away. His eyes seemed to darken, a deep cobalt that bordered on midnight, the soft lights of the kitchen catching like starlight.

“I want to stay here,” he murmured, bringing her palm to his lips. “I want to stay with you always.”

Needy hunger yawned wide inside of her, a chasm where her heart should have been safely nestled between her ribs.

He wanted always, and she wanted always. She wanted his always, his forever, his chivalrous promises of staying with her forevermore.

But as much as she yearned, she also wasn’t quite done with breakfast yet. She would happily melt beneath the touch of his lips and the brush of her fingertips, after she’d finished up and cleaned everything.

“I need to finish breakfast,” she said, toes curling when his teeth scraped the skin of her palm. She gave a half-hearted tug, giggling when his eyes met hers, bright with laughter and devilry. “Xavier! I need my hand!”

“And what if I want it?” He kissed her palm again, his brows raised. There was laughter in his voice, finding his own teasing hilarious.

“You have two hands!” She wriggled helplessly, biting back her own laughter as he watched her, amused.

No, not just amused. Delighted.

“And I want this one too!” He chuckled, holding her hand tighter.

“You’re being greedy!”

He nipped her index finger, his smile bordering on joyous. “It’s for a very important mission.”

“Which one?”

“It’s classified.”

As his smile turned smug she was reminded of her secret weapon, Xavier’s ultimate weakness.

With her free hand, she reached out as quickly as she could, still half-caught in his grip. It was easy enough to find the sensitive spots on his sides, under his arms down his throat.

His eyes bulged, his grip loosening as he dissolved into giggles, her name broken up by snorts as he tried to get away. With her newfound freedom she gave chase, backing him up against the wall as he squirmed and laughed.

He might have been pleading for mercy, but it was hard to tell from how breathless he was becoming. He did manage a breathy “please,” but she wasn’t keen on stopping just yet.

“Ask me nicely.” She was having too much fun and she would undoubtedly pay the price later. But for now her heart was caught in the wind, chasing after his laughter, losing itself in the crimson of his face and the moon of his smile.

“Please, beloved!”

She did pause then, feeling satisfied.

“Alright,” she conceded, smoothing her hair back as he sighed, as though he’d been indulging her.

He took her hands, catching them swiftly and bringing them both to his lips. “What am I going to do with such treacherous hands?”

She hummed, tapping his lip, goosebumps racing across her skin from the tickle of his breath. “You’ll let them go so I can finish breakfast? So I can make you a surprise treat?”

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he tipped his head to the side, his bangs falling like moonbeams across his brow. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time. Although next time my mission will be to capture them.”

“Is that a threat?”

His smile was far too tender, hiding mischief in its fathomless depths. He kissed her hands once more before releasing them. “I wouldn’t say it’s a threat.” He swept his gaze over the kitchen, the corners of his lips quivering as if he was trying to hold them in check. “More like a guarantee.”

“I’m being threatened! I made you breakfast and you’re threatening me!” Her distress would have been more believable if she hadn’t been grinning so broadly, debating whether she should push her luck and see if he would make good on his “guarantee.”

Seeming to sense her impending shenanigans, Xavier took hold of her hands again, the stained glass of his eyes glittering in the light. He could not contain his laughter, even as she watched him try and fail to press his lips together to staunch the flow like a rift in a dam.

“I’m not threatening you,” he huffed, rolling his eyes.

She squealed, wiggling in his grip. “I’m being attacked! I’ve done nothing wrong and I’m being attacked!”

Another roll of his eyes. “We both know that’s not true.”

“I’m innocent! I’ve never done anything wrong in my life ever!”

There was no need for a verbal response as the corners of Xavier’s eyes narrowed, conveying just how much he believed that. From the slant of his lips and the furrow of his brow there was no doubt he was remembering when she’d pinched his backside the night before.

But in her defense, it had been necessary. He’d wiped the floor with her in kitty cards that past afternoon and she’d needed to take revenge somehow.

Yet rather than bring up the day before, he instead settled his hands on the flare of her hips, her hands free to pinch and squeeze his cheeks in retaliation.

Xavier only grinned wider, submitting to his fate. “Do whatever you want, beloved. I’m all yours.”

She frowned, sliding her hands to his chest, feeling the slow thrum of heart beneath her palm. “You’re being awfully mean to me.”

“Maybe it’s because I missed you.” Soft as feather-down, as blankets fresh from the wash, as the brush of flower petals against her fingertips, Xavier’s words quietly fell from his lips. He lowered his head, peeking up at her from beneath the silver of his lashes and the ashy fringe of his bangs. “And I was upset because I woke up alone.”

Already she could feel herself wavering, succumbing to Xavier’s puppy-dog eyes. He watched her, silent, his words hanging in the air like stars blossoming in the night sky, guiding her through the dark.

How could she even pretend to be upset when he was looking at her like that?

She had to turn away before her knees gave out from the strength of his sweet, apologetic stare. His weakness might have been his ticklish spots, but her weakness was him.

“Love?” Xavier’s hand cupped her cheek, gently turning her face back towards him, giving her no way to escape. “What can I do so you’ll forgive me?”

“Um… Uh…” She trailed off, unable to think of anything but the heat of his hand on her skin, the sincerity in his eyes. He was close, too close, his breath tickling her lips. There was hardly any space left between them, and even the smallest of movements would bring them together.

Her bones were nothing but kindling, catching flame at the first strike of flint, at the cadence of his voice and the warmth of his touch and that look he was giving her that made her feel like she was in freefall.

“Um?” He cocked his head to the side, the corners of his lips twitching, a smile rising like the dawn. “What are you thinking?”

“I need fruit,” she blurted, her mind a mess of his lips and his hands and the pancakes rapidly cooling on the counter and the unfinished breakfast.

Xavier blinked, brows rising. “Fruit?”

She nodded, the motion robotic and strange. It felt like she’d never moved her head before, like she’d completely lost control of her body. “Y-yeah, I need fruit. And a couple of other things so I can bake some more.”

He hummed, more surprised than anything. For a moment she wondered if he would agree, or if he would vehemently refuse to go out like he had refused to rest on the couch while she’d cooked. Perhaps he would try to tease her more, until she really did lose every scrap of her mind to his storm, until the threads of her self were held in his hands.

But then he smiled that tooth-achingly sweet smile that made her melt, his eyes bright, his cheeks touched with pink. “Is this for that surprise you mentioned earlier?”

“Maybe.” She ducked her head, staring down at the floor. She pushed her bottom lip into a pout, hoping to ply him into agreeing to fetch groceries for her by sulking. “So will you do it?”

He chuckled, taking her chin between his fingers, his thumb pressing against her lips. “Won’t you look at me? I missed you so much.”

Slowly, reluctantly, she looked up. The first thing she found was his eyes, cerulean as a cloudless summer sky, the kitchen light reflecting in their depths like sunshine, like fractals of rainbows illuminating the world.

“Why don’t you write me a list,” he suggested. “So I know what to pick up.”

His thumb stroked her bottom lip as he spoke, and his words flitted between her ears, wispy and gossamer thin, unable to catch in her mind. It wasn’t until he snorted with quiet laughter and dropped his hand, murmuring “beloved?” did she snap out of it.

“Just a minute.” She hurried from the kitchen before he could enthrall her once more, snatching up her phone and a notepad, jotting down a messy list of everything she needed.

She could hear Xavier humming tunelessly from where she scribbled out her list, a siren song crafted to ensnare her heart and mind. It made her heart flutter, her breath catching like she was on the precipice of a cliff. Her mind slipped, forgetting for a moment what she was listing, caught up in the sound of his voice, in the warmth unfurling in her belly.

She had to give herself a shake, jostling her thoughts back into place. She had a plan, didn’t she? To make something that would make him happy.

Although it was seeming more and more like teasing her was more than enough to keep him happy.

Rolling her eyes at the thought, she tore the list free from her notepad, returning to the kitchen to pass it to Xavier.

“This is everything I need.” She watched as his eyes scanned the list, his expression placid. “I hope it’s okay.”

He hummed, nodding before slowly lowering his hand. “It looks good. I can get all of this for you, but…” He trailed off, lips quirking up.

“But?” Her heart lurched. What was he plotting? “What’s wrong?”

“There is one thing I need first.”

Frowning, she shook her head, not expecting that response. Did he want her to add something to the list?

Before she could ask what he needed, he was closing the distance between them, the calluses on his palms scratching her cheeks as he cupped her face, pressing his lips to hers.

She felt breathless, all the air in her lungs rushing away as the warmth of his lips enveloped her, as his hands held her steady. He groaned against her, the sound reverberating through her, singing in the hollows of her bones.

It would have been so easy to lose herself to him entirely. To forget about breakfast and her plans to bake, to forget about all his teasing, to forget about everything but his heat, his embrace.

And then he was pulling away, and dimly, through the lovesick haze he had left in her mind, she registered that he was smirking at her. But before she could do anything he was bolting from the room, calling that he would be back soon.

She was left standing in the kitchen alone, blinking as she heard the front door open and shut, Xavier’s footsteps disappearing down the hallway.

Part of her wanted to be annoyed, but her heart was a traitor, her lips in league alongside it, conspiring against her as they spread into a smile.

She couldn’t stop the flit of delight taking flight in her heart, nor could she hold back the buoyant joy that made her feel light as air, as spun sugar so sweet her teeth ached.

These little moments of mischief that he was slowly revealing to her, as he unwrapped each layer of his heart the closer they grew, made her happier than she could find the words to describe. To know he trusted her enough to bare a little more of himself to her every day.

To the world, he was a sleepy, stoic deepspace hunter. But to her? To her, he was Xavier, the man who usually let her beat him at kitty cards, the man who helped her collect more plushies than she knew what to do with, the man who clung to her tightly in the mornings and teased her until her face burned.

The warmth of his embrace stayed with her, lingering on her lips, filling her heart, as she started to clean up her mess. Settling the pancakes on the table, moving her plush unicorn to sit beside them, guarding her fluffy creations while she moved on to the dishes.

She was just finishing up the last of the dishes, wiping down the countertop to clear it of flour, when Xavier returned.

The click of the door and his footsteps echoed through the apartment, and she tossed her washcloth to the side, racing to the entrance to find him again.

He beamed when he saw her, his arms laden with shopping bags. “You know I’m very curious about your surprise, some of the things I had to get were very strange.”

“You’ll just have to be patient, because I’m not telling.”

He arched a brow, looking amused. “Oh really?”

“Really.” She snatched the bags from him before he could try and tease her any further. “Now go wash your hands, I’m going to cut up some of the berries for our breakfast.”

He snorted, murmuring a soft “yes ma’am” before heading towards the bathroom.

She made quick work of washing and cutting up the berries, settling little bowls of them on the table for the two of them to have with their breakfast. Then she stashed the rest of the ingredients, humming as an idea came to her, fizzing like bubbles of glittering champagne.

“Xavier?” She called to him as he emerged from the bathroom, hands washed, dressed in his favourite hoodie and worn jeans.

He came towards her, brows drawing together in curiosity. “What is it?”

She bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smirk as she clasped her hands in front of her. “You forgot to get me something.”

“I did?” Now there was worry saturating his words, his expression. “What did I forget?”

Now it was her turn to surprise him, taking his face in her hands and catching his lips in a kiss.

She could feel the widening of his smile, feel the vibrations of his sigh as he melted in her embrace. His hands fell to her waist, holding her close as she tipped her head to the side, trying to deepen the kiss.

His lips were soft, and warm, and they tasted of sugar and berries, like he’d snacked on them as he’d been bringing them home. It suffused her senses, until all she could taste was him, was his lips, his tongue. His hair tickled her brow, her nose, and she couldn’t help but smile against him as his teeth grazed her bottom lip.

She was far from satisfied when she drew away, but she was breathless, dizzy, the world spinning round and round like she was trapped in a carnival ride. Her lungs ached, screamed, even as all she wanted was to fall into his arms once more and give him the last of her breath.

“How could I be so forgetful?” He cupped her chin, stroking her bottom lip as she swayed. It was only when his other arm settled around her, holding her close, did she finally feel steady, leaning against his solid chest, his breath tangling in her hair, his cheeks red and his lips swollen from the embrace.

She licked her lips, caught in the gravity of his gaze. “It was awfully silly of you to forget. It was the most important thing I needed.”

He ran the pad of his thumb over her lip again, his smile soft, adoring. Like she truly was his princess, his queen, like he was a knight charged with caring for her heart. Like she was the most precious of stars in his sky.

Silence draped over them like a veil, a blanket tangling around them, a quiet comfort that swathed them in this little moment. Xavier’s eyes focused on her face, on her lips, his hand cradling her face so gently.

When he spoke, his words the flutter of gauzy wings on a breeze harkening spring, it was like a balm, a soothing melody for her heart. His lips brushed against her ear, his voice a sigh. “I’ll make sure I never forget it again.”

“Good.” She smiled, her ears burning hot as a newborn star, her face a galaxy of heat. Still, she couldn’t help but smile at the softness of his words, at the devotion in his eyes.

She took his hands, squeezing them gently. “I’ve finished breakfast, if you’d like some.”

“I would,” he bumped his nose against hers, dropping a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. “I’m very excited to try it.”

She tried leading him to the table, where she’d set everything up, but Xavier slipped away, collecting their food and moving to the couch instead.

“Where are you going?” She frowned, staring at the now barren table.

He settled the food on the coffee table in front of the couch, unfolding a blanket. “It’s more comfortable sitting here.”

She frowned. “What if you spill? Or fall asleep again?”

He snorted, his brows arching high. “I’m not going to fall asleep, not when I’ve been looking forward to this since all morning.”

Xavier held out a hand, beckoning her towards him, and what reason did she have to say no? He looked happy, content, spreading blankets and pillows over the couch for them to sit together, to enjoy their food in comfort. And it did mean she could sit snuggled beside him, which was quickly becoming her favourite everything.

“Alright,” she conceded, moving towards him, fingers lacing with his as she let him draw her down into his arms.

Xavier beamed, fussing over the blankets, making sure they were comfortably tucked around the both of them before he retrieved their food.

“See?” He asked, once they were both settled, food balanced in their laps, the television a murmur in the background. “Isn’t this better?”

She couldn’t disagree, nestled beside him, basking in the glow of his smile. “You’re right, this is better.”

He readjusted the blanket wrapped around them, catching it as it slipped from her side. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be, you know.”

“Hm?” She’d started eying his plate, watching it tip precariously in his lap. For someone who was obsessed with food, he seemed awfully focused on everything else.

“Are you listening to me?” She flicked her eyes back towards him, to his teasing smile and the deep blue of his eyes.

“I am,” she said, quickly, too quickly. It was a lie and he knew it, eyes narrowing and brows drawing low.

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

She huffed, pointing to the plate in his lap before he could tease her. “I worked hard on those, you know! Aren’t you going to try it?”

He blinked, his eyes wide.

Without thought, she grabbed his plate, cutting up the pancake before spearing a piece with the fork.

“Try it,” she insisted, lifting it to his lips. “Please? I want to know if you like it.”

Xavier’s eyes widened further, round as saucers, their deep blue stark against the sudden crimson of his cheeks. A beat passed, then another, and she began to worry that maybe he didn’t want the pancakes, maybe there was something wrong with them.

But then his hand came up, fingers curling around her hand, his lips parting as he brought the fork the rest of the way to his mouth.

He chewed slowly, clutching her hand like a lifeline. Then, like the first flicker of starlight as dusk gave way to night, his smile grew, and grew, her bright, guiding star.

“Well?” She didn’t want to push, but she also did, so impatient it hurt, like cracks were forming along her bones, like they were fracturing, splintering beneath the weight of her restlessness.

“It’s delicious.” He brought her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss to her wrist. “It might be one of the best things I’ve eaten.”

She snorted. “It’s only my first time making it, I’m sure it’s not that good.”

But Xavier shook his head, looking earnest, sincere. “I mean it, I think it’s amazing.”

She hummed, smirking. “Maybe you need another bite? Just to be sure?”

He chuckled, releasing her hand so she could spear another forkful of pancake for him. “I think you might be right. I might need quite a bit, just to be sure.”

“Oh really?” She fed him another bite, flushing with delight, with pride, to see his smile. He’d hardly eaten anything at all, and yet already he seemed so happy, so bright. Had there ever been such a smile before, had there ever been someone who filled every darkened space in her body, the life-giving light of the sun to the devotion of the flowers?

“Maybe I should make something else for you, just to test if my cooking skills are any good.”

He nodded quickly, so fast his hair fluttered around his head, boyish and silly. More pieces of him he had shown to her, more reasons to hold him in her heart. “I think you should. We really need to test your cooking skills. But first…”

“But first what?” She frowned as he trailed off, confused. “Is something the matter?”

“First, I want to finish eating this, with you,” he finished, catching her hand again. “I want to enjoy the morning with you first, beloved.”

Her heart stuttered, an uneven melody that made her tongue stumble, her words awkward and strange as she tried to respond. “O-oh. Oh. Are you sure?”

His brows drew together, disbelief etched in the lines of his face. “What else could I possibly want to do? I always want to spend time with you.”

Always. He wanted her always, and she wanted his.

“Even if it means waiting longer for more food?”

“I think I’ll survive.” He plucked up her fork, snagging a piece of pancake and a berry, dark pink juice spreading across the food as he brought it to her lips. “Now. You need to eat, too.”

His words were soft, but there was something sturdy behind them, something that brooked no arguments. So she took a bite, the mellow flavour of the pancake and the tartness of the berry bursting across her tongue.

And then she took another, and another, until she found an opening to feed Xavier more, berry juice staining his lips. She tried to lean forward to wipe it away, and he laughed, nipping at the pads of her fingers whenever she tried.

“Xavier!” She chastised. “I’m trying to help!”

He only tried to bite her again in response, and she drew back, snorting with laughter when he tried to toss a berry at her, staining both his fingers and her cheek pink.

The morning melted away around them in gold-touched laughter and smears of deep cerise. The food quickly vanished, yet even once there was nothing but crumbs left on their plates and flecks of berries spattered on the tines of their forks, still they remained tangled together, content in the other’s arms.

She sighed, tucking the blankets higher around the both of them. Xavier was beginning to doze once more, a contented smile on his lips, and although she’d wanted to get started on her next baking project, she was loath to rouse him. He’d snuggled close once their plates had been set to the side, his arms looped lazily around her, and she knew if she moved that it would disturb him, upsetting him once more.

So she remained in his arms, running her fingers through his hair as drowsiness crept over her. It was a blanket being tucked around her shoulders, her thoughts turning sluggish, her body growing heavier with each breath. But she couldn’t bear to move, not wanting to leave Xavier alone again.

She was content to stay right where she was, nestled in his embrace. She could always bake later in the day, or tomorrow. But right now all she wanted was to stay in his arms, to listen to the beat of his heart and feel the hush of his breath in her hair. She would slip away into dreams of starlight and soft words and baked goods, and when she awoke it would be to his smile, to his happiness, that shone brighter than all the stars ever could.

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