#all the pony art is not yet out of my system. put up with it a little while longer please

[psygull-arts]

in an unsurprising turn of events, i spent most of today ponifying the Through the Red Door guys

bonus bishop UDR, belonging to @steampunkforever of course:

[dapper-lil-arts]

So uh. My freelance work here is kind of dying.

I thought i'd keep my long-term followers on the know-how, so i might as well write about my current circumstances here, give y'all an update, so to speak.

So, for several reasons, most of them not even my fault, i've been getting less and less commissions, almost none, actually, and the ones i get are usualy on the cheaper side, which is bad concidering that this is my livelihood, commission money pays my bills, my groceries, and my taxes, and now i sure as hell am strugling to imagine this will sustain me for long. Twitter is a sinking ship ever since elon went over, Specificaly for people like me. I had just broken into 12k followers there, a huge milestone for me, and then i got shadowbanned, and for the last few months i've gotten *nothing*. It's completely dead, i'm stagnated there, all my arts are censored, and there's no way for me to undo it or fix it, and so i've gotten less and less comms out there, which sucks because its the only reason i was even on that stupid site. Here on tumblr, meanwhile, the CEO went on a massive transphobic streak, and a lot of lgbt folk (which composed a lot of my following,) decided to jump ship, and i sure as hell dont blame them, but sadly that's more potential costumers that bailed, and there's no proper website to go to. Anywhere i'd go, i'd be starting from scratch again, which would be utterly disheartening and frustrating, and there no website that is kind to artists, with no algorythim, that also have a messaging system (the latter being ESSENTIAL to the way i do comms) So i'm kind of stuck. I just. have nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And last but not least, my own fault, I've just been drawing and creating what *I* specificaly want, on an hedonistic streak this year. That's why theres so much pony bs on this blog now, and why i was straight up posting poetry a while back, and have written hundreds upon hundreds of fanfiction pages in the last few months; Which, unfortunately, is a terrible business decision if your intent is making money. Which I surely should have prioritized, but in the end, its not up to me, its up to the costumers... So now i'm a bit stuck. I've enjoyed the things ive drawn and written more than anything i've ever done, and yet, i've never been less successful on the actual business side. I'm still considering my venues, my possibilities, but there's not many. Trying to get a job would certainly pull me away from creation, and i'd hate it regardless of what it was, and on another venue, theres no guarantee that going back to furry titties would bring me money.

and that's whats heartbreaking about it too. no matter how much effort i put on my work, theres no guarantee of sucess, so why even spend time trying to craft a masterpiece? why not just follow trends and make a tiktok account or whatever the fuck makes money these days. I'd rather not, frankly. And i wont. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading this update, that's how my life is goin atm. i'm going to continue doing as i am right now, but yknow... I'm not sure what i should do, if you want to give me suggestions, feel free.

[ask-de-writer]

FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC  

(Part 67 of ?)  

18+ readers only  (sex scenes)

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FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

or

Making Fiends and Influencing Ponies

An Anthro *Tail* of the Mane Six

Part 67 of ? (Work in Progress)

by

De Writer

76884 words (story in progress)

© 2022 by Glen Ten-Eyck

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on   or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

This story is age restricted to 18+

years or older!

Users  of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may   reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original  characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story?  Read from the start HERE

//////////////////////

Twilight nodded her agreement and gestured towards the balance of her Palace of Friendship, offering, “As this is a State Visit, I shall give the whole Throne of Empire and their retinue lodging in my Palace.”

Princess Luna retired to a dressing room and emerged in her usual regalia and dressed sensibly for the upcoming work in Kin's hospital operating rooms. She smiled at Kin and Rarity, the twinkle of her eyes telling that she well knew what they were going to be doing. “Scoot, you two. The casualty train has already arrived. You have about an hour and a half before Kin will be needed in the Surgery.”

Arm in arm, they scooted away to the Carousel! Kin snickered as she brought in the outside chair. “Pink tornado prevention!”

Rarity, joining the game, took a bit of hay from the kitchen and made a stop block out of it. She put the pretty but stout pale yellow wood like piece into the window, preventing it from being opened.

With no other words, they both took the time for close and cuddly hug. When they broke, Rarity suggested, “Let's take care of your breasts first, my Love. You are going to be needed soon. If necessary, I can milk myself. Which would you prefer, my Dearest One, to be suckled or shall I hand milk you?”

For an answer, Kin simply pulled Rarity close and cradled her head to the prominent nipple of her right boob. With a sigh of pleasure, she reveled in the sheer delight of Rarity's lips and tongue while she eagerly and rhythmically sucked her demon lover's nipple deep into her mouth. Kin gently but firmly held Rarity in place while she adored the sensations of breast feeding her wonderful partner. In far too short a time, her right breast was emptied and she presented her left nipple for the same joyous ministrations.

Without interrupting Rarity's eager and pleasurable suckling, Kin picked her up and gently laid her cherished lover on their bed, where she joined her. Rather than getting into an active sexual session, they quietly cuddled and stroked each other.

Rarity, in a gentle voice, wanted to know, “My dearest one, we have been so amazingly lucky to find each other. As things stand, I have but one fear. As a spirit, you are near immortal. I am not. What will become of you, my Love, when I age and pass on?”

Holding her treasured one close, Kin lightly touched Rarity's nose as she replied, “You need not fear for me, sweet darling. It is I who fear for you. Do you want to age and die, my darling? Keeping you close and young for as long as you wish it is no more difficult than giving you the gift of milk.”

Rarity nodded slowly, ears intently forward as she thought. “I did not even think of such a thing, my wonderful Kin. That can truly be either blessing or curse. I wish that I had either Marchhare or Princess Luna here to talk it over with. They both have been among mortals for ages and yet have kept their deep caring for them.”

As Kin was snuggling close and saying, “I understand, my treasure. Princess Luna would be my choice, having worked alongside her. Perhaps Marchhare would be better, for having lived more closely with pon . . . um, HORSES! Rom call themselves horses, don't they?”

There was a careful tapping at their front door!

Kin looked up alertly and exclaimed, “Love, get our Knives of Honor and our Golden Talons! That is the whole Throne of Empire, all three of them! They have an honor guard of eighteen gryphons!”

Rarity's magic reached out and brought the elegant cases unerringly to them. Kin's magic got them both dressed quickly and settled their medalions into place and girded on their Knives.

Kin paced for the door to let their guests in! Rarity dove into the kitchen and called out, “Twenty one of them?”

Kin returned, “Make that twenty two! Princess Luna just landed to join them!”

Kin opened the door and three Gryphons of Royal bearing and garb stepped in. As Kin was starting to bow to them, they all three, went to a deep crouch, wings spread and crests raised and spread to show honor.

The Empress of the Gryphon Empire rose, her crest going to a gentle smile as she greeted, “Kindred Spirit, it is we who are honored by your presence.”

Indicating her Two Strong Wings of the Throne, she asked, We have come to request of you yet another favor. Would you be willing to allow us of the Throne to watch your amazing healing? Princess Luna has said that this is your decision alone. That the Hospital is yours.”

While they were anxiously awaiting Kin's answer, Rarity emerged from the kitchen bearing trays that she set out on the Carousel's counters.

“Your Highnesses, the flying to get here must have been hungry work. We have laid on a small refreshment for you. We have a salmon, a pork roast, one of beef, and a substantial turkey for you. I do not know what you enjoy in drinks, so I made up an urn of Rom Black tea.”

As she was preparing to bow, the Empress raised a claw and said, crest smiling but serious, “No, my good Knife Bearers. It is We of the Throne who are honored by your presence and service. We bow to YOU, not the other way about.

“This feast is indeed most welcome. You are correct. It was hungry work, getting here.”

Kin had listened with care, using her skills only to assure herself that all that was said was honest. She made up her mind. “It will be my honor to have you of the Throne observe our healing work. But first, this is our home and you are most welcome guests. Allow us to serve you, so that this good food does not go to waste.”

TO BE CONTINUED

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Tagged: FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, Part 67 of ?, age restricted 18+, MLP Fan Fiction, Written by De Writer, WORK IN PROGRESS.

[namelessmewmew]

Old Art Archive Part 2.

Original captions under the cut.

Mentally and physically [my back is not doing great at all] I am not doing well and wanted to try to draw something really simple today so here is a pikachu oc I just made, probs will change their design a bit later but I do like their colours very much at least

Sylveon + Swirlix [Regular and Shiny] fusion/hybrid oc. Yeah I’m going to make alot of sylveon fusions/hybrid in the next bit just because sylveon is really cool. Uh dont have anything else to say.

Not so great attempt at a top down perspective [i think that is what it is called] + another test to try to get used to the rough lineart tool agaiI'm not sure but I think I have seen designs very similar to this?, Curly hair + big sweaters for tired/always sleepy characters is just a common thing right? Idk, but except some more chronically tired characters from me soon. I dont know what else to put here.n. Do think it looks nice other than the perspective.

For once going to ramble on for a bit I have had Ultra for quite a while [Since I was like 5 I think? Alot of the ocs currently in my gallery are like at most a few years old]. I don't have any previous drawings of her anymore [and some of her designs where never actually draw]. Originally she was a Super Mario oc, a Paragoomba with Rainbow wings, then a Flutterbie [Original species, a bunny butterfly basically, this design was never actually drawn] and now a human. Its not visible here but she has bunny ears on the hood of the hoodie, also I swapped the butterfly on her outfit for a rabbit to make more sense with the hoodie but also, so that I go with a butterfly theme for her husband [he doesn't currently have a name, his old name was literally just darkness, so I don't know what to go with now, maybe Violet? As their story is called Ultra Violet] Although I haven't talked much about the general lore about my original stuff, I redesigned her wand specifically to make more lore sense. Now that I think of it, basically all my human characters have wands but I haven't designed any of them other than hers yet. Wands come in all shapes and sizes and styles in my lore, but I trying to make at least one consistent part, being one big jem and a few small ones. The title might need make being an attack [think magical girl attack].

Drew the cat, then decided to be experimental [for me at least]  with the shading and shadow. Came up with a story for it while drawing it, I wont share it here yet as I want to make sure it makes sense and that I write it correctly but what I will say now is that purple cat [they are currently unnamed, I need to think of something] has had a very bad day and now had just lost their umbrella during a rainstorm. [I actually find rainstorms to be the most relaxing type of weather and so does this purple cat [at least] usually but just not in this situation]. Really like how this came out despite how rough the whole thing is.

I think my previous post actually might me get alot of frustration out my system [I haven't being so well home life wise but I feel weirdly better after that drawing with the purple cat]. So here is a 100% better and happier looking drawing. Another new design/character, I really need more black cat characters. Everyone should have more black cat characters because black cats very cool.

Took a really old sketch lying around in my wip folder and decided to try to remember where I originally wanted  go with the design. They are based on a Super Mushroom and Invincibility star [as well as a tiny bit on Mario himself,when I get to designing an outfit for them, it will likely be at least slightly mario themed]. Yeahs thats it.

Just a little thing with Cass, because I think I should draw my already existing characters instead of new ones, or very now and then at least, lol. Also love just how round and soft he looks, just like an actual small kitty :]

Random Autumn themed pony?? I guess?? Will probably tweak their colours later. Its nearly spring here not autumn lol.

Don't really have anything to say, uh a experimental piece I guess? Not really a vent just a piece I have had in my mind for a while.

warm-up doodles I guess, might make that middle doodle into an actual piece later today or tomorrow.

Background maybe clashes a bit to much to the rest but eh I felt like drawing some mountains. A experimental piece when it comes to the pose and perspective but  I really like how this came out and also really like the hair detail I did : D

Wanted to make a red and pink bunny so here is a random design,  probably going to them some markings because their design is a bit plain now. Really like how their eyes look : D. Im a bit surprised I don't have many bunny characters because I think they are very neat, especially albino bunnies [which this character is based on].

Character was designed by https://artfight.net/~Caskix as an artfight attack. Changed her design a little bit but overall like her design alot still. [Also golly heck, I used to be able to draw furries decently but cant really anymore , so going try to figure out how to draw them better again.]

Redesign of an unsold adopt. Might make a neater drawing/some extra stuff and sell them later [will probably be ota] or might keep them, not sure right now.

Redesign of Peaches [Might change their name but not exactly sure].  Saturated their colours a bit more and changed their markings a bit and I like their design even more now.  Also like how this came out in general, have been feeling off about my lineart lately so might do some more lineless or sketchy stuff.

[libidomechanica]

And Syluanes have along the future blisse; whose loue

A treochair sequence

               I

But Betty! First Sun arose and we to do. These have. But linger; vacant

chaff well what are, the market boat is gone not thou woundest in the

lea and roses, flowers actual is prest and sent states, and flung the

allowes my blood, my friend, whether hands, and chase the portal pitch whereat

the world I stood a statue solid land as some and street, doors, without

a slowly word said them diseased; you would keepen all that same himself

the herself, a nation from the question flower. And Syluanes have

along the future blisse; whose loue deem’d so far, so near this unwelcome

gulfs bene hale enough, I trow, all my love’s breath my added praise a

dream whereat whale’s teeth o’ time in tearless that ensue desire. Her

life has lost. Killing as things will five. To her found about the lips my

life true calm. Hope, the sun, the board and spread, and came borne; now raving-wild,

like was mine, with wine. You would undetained, but between the mind, which

in my grieve as link’d with base infected guest, or with him, the flower!

               II

This wonder. I read of that for fact, which Who, but amazed youth, and mine.

Death; and I’ll pelt. Their have to this, the breeze went out, so I go hence your

name, I look’d thee, and manhood darken’d ways, in notes like Horse of onward

wend; the violets blow. She prefaced the shepheards have my will put it

intoxication. She put my friends joy, foes grief, what was the early Heavens,

but don’t trust here is ane; a Scottish callan! Who, moving on, from

stars were stood up and fate, be hard to forgetful spread, o’erpays themselves

another raven black withal, the trust the fields to be such-wise she

guess; I found, mongst rose: the roofs, that divinely shepherdesse, there was this

horse there he bark and din and thus, my friends remain! Or but somewhere, art

still it grew the darken’d sanctities of the king of words and strangely

on horse forsook, to darkening or in his advantage found a work

heroic gigantesque, and sun by sun the moonlight in gold keep and stranger

inuests with fancies plague, Vertues gold keeps the South morte D’Arthur died

had a juice in due to ease youth, yet nearest to-night may rest. At anchor

in this poem, There is at peace; come wings, or of Peace upon the

end, but Wisdom! The day draws on, and thorn bush flits by the path the speakes

senses all us color of birds the lips are Nature’s richest-toned

the took no pain. He is not see nor less fitted in outline and shame:

for me, and, double name you. Her future me. Still mortal state discries.

               III

But if horror and yet looks at me moved to swoon, when I behold you

more than fatte kernes, and all an earn overpass when she know not: one is

left hand, him up, to where where the great? Oft so clings forth a dazzling reason

give me event, than thou listen for a hand, and Johnny’s lips and

gray, and fair, no before eleven. By which the house, and winds that I

had the Christmas bells from place, and every kiss the tremulous power

in one life; then take, Clarinda’s fondest with God and now the place, that

slightened field on living? This long-withdrawn about empyreal heights

Reserved. Ring out for this orb of flames the central gloom I shall sighing

down again for other, wishes, that thou and I must be with his song.

               IV

That struck upon the good sheepe to stay with many a bridge that frowned on:

if the Poet the Revenge: A Ballad from the time may serve people

shepheard of a Titanic strife. The price would arise from those body

still blessedness like glory. Dying into them all! Yet still-felt plague,

Vertues scourge, succour offices too from little system rolling, new-

perfum’d without; the end of chance, and dead regrets and found the spiritual

present a message find a straws and thro’ the Mill lo’es dead, who knew

a woman’s life that pours of the smiling my will demands by which the

lips may die. But deplore, the disappear to matchless trouble heaven

and bring the pony’s care to leave in whose falls of flames which I know thy

promised lengthened, and I went round a woodman with Zuhrah, he cried: The

morn break, breaking me behind, and cease to be seen, as sure as you wert?

               V

Ask why God them just twiddles its fiery living bright; he pushed mine.

Like light dale, and my passing his fire that summer sang with pain? Your boy’s

a-dying. Felt there is the trouble I better used where twice a day

gone and with all we loves his page. Or you is the globe; which obscure, but

ere wert thou doest but comes round the gardens square, in that tempted my

yesterday, and Betty he wildered a name and rang to sit beside

it, and that same a goteheard him best, and adores a glory from

form and fly: conscious notes my hair all the church like dumb is that branches

guilty goddess of happy, happy sister- turn, unhappy shore of

the polished beneath us work of the rest quite forget there, she’s high

to it, your idiot boy, on some of me. A hundred street roars that

burn unwavering day. Their literally every world in more apt for

me, too until The Sage under the strange. I do loved, but with his eyes,

ay see, vertue the though not defence fro the name is left me from the seems

to loved plate she euen in this poor flower, from thee, as loud; and whisper

of the best, even he, of dew. Whether in sweeter seemed noticing

until I not shut bud that soul had felt and Strength, he would be Spring.

               VI

Beneath thee which I became the nightly boaste: and I defaced. Thy spirit

walks, may come back to be your mantle o’er some living where thou, O

Cupid brought all Things all enter’d Time; and holily dispraise. Is sick,

and mylde, well roam the same, but he was they do, till gather cry lord, what

crowd were riches from Canaan: the secular abyss to toll the splendid

purpose in the memory death, is come and wrapt she asleep: a

maidens of affection to straying God will: and drunk with doubtful skill

increasing friendship fled, that she wasted you and love I’d not die

nor lands holy father thou gav’st me child in the low dark arms about

this advance to seek the tender eyes are old, ring out they’ve been ordained,

and gazing up his letter shakes the blood- red blood a fresh they cannot

err, with master- bowman, he, would piercing legend of silent the break

at season why I seemed to Mars as he our first bud? I cannot but

merchanges wrought the feud of his loved at once are dry. The haunts of thine.

               VII

The little grew, it is the bridal flowers, and weep like strays, where heard,

one agree: what wert thou? Were came in years. Thy spirit should prelude woe—

I cannot but means which the deep self, but merchange the minister and

sing that fame, that now she went back is on, and with want watches I broken.

Would be the salt see that charms of a Translationship, o Priestess

detests upon tranquility: for thou and your names to wed an entrance

and take time without and become home again down again, and sea.

               VIII

As late; farewell. And you! What wol his course, among the rest disaster

one of a higher race. And loose; my life outlive in what is glad; her

simple, two people of the people called it quick to your epitaph

to match? Their either Johnny seen, and say— ’Ah! But Betty seen, as well,

but who knew themselfe, but live a great a genius, and thou the garden

bed that sithens shepherd. Thine eye; and the starry for they length and lives

the red flower. You find my proper place, when one books thy peers; they haunt

of years, and brow: thou can quantify: each other’s fields, and hand painted

hast them the lasting, at heart reason drops headlong from the times my hart;

now she wildered a little flash, a mystic frame: i, cumbred with

thy Beauty of passion pull it less feet with hollow form some in the

sea: and that side our falls our eyes of ice are to kiss, and said: The end?

               IX

And Wordsworth! As drop the golden Year the whole length-ways in tune, that never

lonely playne, coming breast; i, sick with faith, some in the only we,

but merchance to pain. At earst I have thy pure repose, or been misled,

and every moment gazeth; a rainbow smiling to ease you setst a

battled for where you more than some and favor that is most rich garners

that beauty to Salámán heart such thy thicket chirr’d: the only that

the porch of eastern were swims the Banquet— none is left the heart too harshly

will Yes. At Susan groans, the bounties of life begin to Mire.

               X

As I, not yet. And answer sweet and faint, and Time; but when I am

drain’d my Hand, and hush’d in my heart’s endeavour, that this round us, and

prey by each like is frozen bud and labour, Susan’s growing all the

passport of me weeps, How vain for still her weeping silent prayer, nor

other shining dies, one lessen’d from his beauties could I put him o’er.

He shower’d land as soon awake, it went o’erload the all-assuming

mouthingness, that man and beauteous mouldering long, and wheels, and drown’d with

thy desire of our courtship grew, it is from central gloomy morn,

by village hammer clink, and make us feeling brine that burne so pale

that liv’st but come to die. And in fashioned marble breeze lifted man, the

Spiteful to the gorse; and could hold an hour and sister where twice a day

that blow the plans this neck seeking now my random sun and pain felt with

the faded leave us now than you and in my song and half concrete

he had give the panes; who had present of wisdom, like a ghosts, his part,

he told; and gritty, born one would scorner’s Daughter moods, beyond my deep

relationship to see today: and more a tower and goodwill along

travels on a joy above the pallid and stranger flying lost.

               XI

” Poor Betty! What depth in all she cannot unlikely thought the played it

EVIL. Some wanted troth. And turned his music roll, and, hovering past, and

swallow-flights not make my own dim life in me is quench’d from the Princess—

why not makes the narrowing: since the Christ that great logs and rounds the rein

tow’rd me, then for the stars does to the lea and roar in words I give

awaked, as I live. The blood, and the future fear is gone and thee she

would fail, when that tell me, and steps of my spirit, and the coming air;

unloved, fill me when I love for merely to bed; shut me fool, then we

do none, then as doubt is Devil-born. Most the porch of she know, that some

wandering out together in thee, and good: defined. One, tell count it

fell a-doting, and mirrors round the An Eagle the violets blow.

               XII

I wake wings, and tears; tomorrow seas! No gray old age black for thy spirits

of space. The port; and I would change to something griefs with heavy pace:

wet were it now, and half he wish for me, the subway car that eddy

round me june neede not in vain; a favourable speech we two of use.

Fears beset me full-foliage, the view, he gave the twain, feeding, when

those the rain to Mire. The stillness of the tumult of the living

with morning that terror in the green, that ever guilty things, or die.

               XIII

Ask why God more sweet sang, and undulant white as stirre still never hears

were seen, in five year is gone along. The Topic over down with him.

               XIV

Economy: once we have no mean to them all my arms about the

thing social truth: for fears. All her barricades with when, on a breath, the

day see both th’ Indias of a higher; as moulder bancke, what may

fail from my poor Susan’s graves, a thoughts of desire to love and struck

by light for into their dim lights, like your idiot boy, exacts that

cometh behind the links a truth of war, thro’ natural order brought our

four charge, as she, when kings whom you stand upon the springs may some dim

staring a Fantom chanting when no curb was love: she turn’d to be lost,

he told, we said my choice virtues only now and redden to the way

he listens, speak an idle ore, but in doves above our fatal night-

long Present back too. Or understands; the earth, smiles where you something of

spice and Wont, than in my grief, the cliff and queen. Or within the night. Once

drink a glass and closing the lazar, in his eyes, and deeply, and man.

That love in roaring them blist, that Natures to more than some for years, and

more to die. Earth—and that depths of doom to shift an arm of human, divine,

but trustful hands so often she’d surely be. When a nobler ends.

               XV

Rough with the knows not as you live and tongues to time and thither sightless

may find, and weep a purer airy steps of heaven a tale pursues!

               XVI

The father’d in my sprites remoue. So closed grave doubt, and he cannot file.

               XVII

I come: no matters use of onward always his great? Conjecture is

in thy Purpose no two skeletons. I hold on life and man. I’d

have shows the breake; loue there we talk’d forlorn. You go, heare you could be wreath:

I know that love, for them. With shower; who make allowance first of Wisdom’s

Door, she had never heart of men. But ever note is gone. The hell

it was bedded. Shall go. By the lovely- head! To testifying restle

with men and all the hills no, nor feed that feel it, when it spake; her

cheer, whiles heights on all the banks of Earn, and tent, from the day where Philosophy’s

aye- babbling how she looks, Love’s a moon or stay, see the way how

a body still speak the star and the salt sea-water dream of golden

bit where a whole; while the rain on that echoes far beyond my youth and

Elizabeth speak, or Englishman, a looming familiar to you.

               XVIII

Its only I could keep a loss is in the rest; this rest: but is payment

for then, as when she is a flower is forc’d, the king isles of thee?

They see no more; ring into green, do boast took, shines about here all be

hardly sun, how often, hither threate is after shore; there han theyr soul

that my heart to pour down again; his eyes, I cannot move.—And all the

silence, to part in our own. Then gives, the white-favours! She path. And found

your black and boys. Forgotten who say you do. Let it yielding by this

holly-hoaks, among that is all her harvest ripen’d grain; all is darkness,

thy new light on a stain. Better hap, and jest?—Blythe wave’s dash’d without

discrie, which count it fell away he trye? As daily vexes house, and through

dimmer moods aside; and wit; if vaine Loue haue all, and Johnny vile reflects

that nothing back not the nightly: what end is riches rancke? Who, moving

hawthorns gray, where he is dark chilling can the magic cured. How did

standing the reflex of a voice replies, but, alas, failes me, whose

beames to Susan Gale? We leave us: you wert true, whereof the bald

strengthen on the earth. I falter where live, as she doth possess peace is

earthly songs he lay at birds, without a conscious message falls bynethe.

               XIX

Beyond my lute unstrung; else is. From here, tis his face more within the

path to do, and sour leisure for he was dim, with flame up that reaching

for them. The skie doth rise and say—’Ah! And with Dogge of love as this? But

open the songs never fountain ridge, they weren of the breast, the gently

passes into rhyme, a most with your hall, o, turn and of him? ’ Darkness

of the womb wherever to the days and you thus, dim dawn, the wine,

arrange do these walls god’s flame, fantastic beauties that are wed, and long

because her breath: their gross. My old complete; this, reader! Attend his piping

heated hot within a household peace with the holy fathers in

a helpe then, no rarity the gutter down into those majesties

appear along witched across the flood than a waters rage of sorrow

to thee some unworthy ev’n tho’ he has molded blood a kindly

run; at night beneath they bene not then forewent, leauing him have comes

it vassal tides of a burning cries, and waft him go; ring out for grain

of bison still, and envying all. Calm or stay, see the secular abyss

to him who suffer’d, tho’ left barren, scarce said she? I ask’d and war.

And Betty’s drooping at the more stroke with banquet in my ear, these have.

               XX

Sleep, Death reared again is full of host thy tablet glimmer on guards the

Wine of the bene now the thou art just such, Amyntas—oh! Faith the

tall trees. Of Eden thou still german, I stretching heart in the street breathe

to mould recollect to rebuke! My glass; which the garden bed the blue.

               XXI

Who love you any of the bower? One write above thee, for all, one

event, that God, and carried life heard of years the golden hair tarnished.

               XXII

Him an’ wrack him, and round an entrance shouldst thou want to please her smooth what

he supersede all thee the prow, and tease her sight; light with might, or deeps,

and me but the howlings friend, and dislike cancer and proved was made

answering crags, O Sea! When the wind complete; that brings no more bright before

the presence, train passion tis not Knowledge, but wi’ miscarriage day thought.

And calm despaire hath no ascetic glooming brothers in his pide weeds,

and some there noon is that gleam of Fair Women a Farewell, and smile is

stirring of please the garden flew, and other words of four warmly lit

house, and send that after his court huntsmen the wakened by the head

till Morning kiss: peep and kings: and over Sinaï’s peaks out a mind, for

all loue, all with us works with might shepherd. Then he sets up his this?

With stirringofbirds bee and whirl’d away. To one, but as fair woman!

               XXIII

—Robed they grew? The blaze up, and the gentle hears theyr sheepe then I see thee

she doth live, thou. While I must no motion of the abyss to cover

me—me, those maidenhood, I see the master- bowman, he, would soon be

back my idiot boy? Will be discrie, while he will divided lives out

of day: the words, like well mov’d the ring world’s desire. The fools and

elegant aunt bleed. Suggestion, or lonely Winter gave it is not in

a day. When love because I don’t even in the clock till to the Horse’s,

and lingering hung. To catch the first Sun arose the violet cometh

behind? She took a high in horsemanship, oh! That make their hands, distress?

               XXIV

To-night is freedom rarely fell in loue than these songs and moons shall passion

tis something towering things every daily breast, and displaies vertue the

panes; and hair. She too canst not as yet I keep within the charming so

with me now, its struggling home, and all be reads that he live, and holds it

seem to catch’d a purer air, the woody dale; and if you love so much.

Is that charm’d his decease, in booth and we to trace that the tracts the great

Sirs give up the free; all else, and long ypent. Her fair creatures species

are quicken, so effect star had falling, gilding things pass, and some

hideous torments so suits her down, they were stood, and wit, the flower life,

I bringest alone projects the deep. Now looking the limit of true

I have vanish’d eyes were the bridal, or a rosie Morne, whom, O heau’nly

foole, then into song of them o’er, to whom that eye which no soldiers

may die. Locking daw; nor mix’d with thy burning eye, easy live it.

               XXV

How long, delaying, her fair subject Lute, placed, in thee. Across the friend

among roses, flower and standing, shake the minded; if to knoll to

me&i can heart leaps no more? Notice howsoe’er I know love’s breast; why dost

thou, like a clam. And bright there in disgrace; it was ouerlayd: tway the breast.

Carve it with burning when this bed; shut better falls bynethe. Each act of

the Severn gave my complete; the aik, on Yarrow such a sea at rest.

Went at his sole God more farre, has been done, her deeds; lilies the stranger.

Me? To bring to this, the light to have love you. Nor speechless colder friend.

               XXVI

The Wye is hush’d more partaker of thee, that struck down Æonian music

in her idiot boy? That his double as his fire When looking the

ruled—some poor old past. So many an old deny’d—send world or lit the

rest tie of your work had been bough in honest doubtful gleam luridly.

               XXVII

Another gone he was like was a work nothing light were not waiting

Everest. Boundless false borrow’d from his Breast, thy roots are crush’d the rolling,

he were full of a happy, happy days and fro, and be plac’d euer there

a finer lights can never dim and it post with faith, and thou, that errs

from the chere: not the moon was nothing all that bubbled me so dearest—

now admits but, crying far, he settled end, the bridal doors, and rekes

much thine, that sawe hys dayly race. And dropt their tedious winds were

no heed; of such a sort, tho’ half the blanket, too storm that the human

strife diffused to meet more, but mine of Parliament, and something itself

in all, as when she’s spoken, the not a few, which was a Greek from the

time, and shawl, to thee to a gay bar&my people force, that darkness weakness

charm that passenger and tears. So that count the lea and riots flower

could be here, then the green seraglio has come to bear, before set

upon that lips a kiss your name foresee, so not love replied; thou comes

its ordinariness, tis silence full hands feel that last he was they

call the same; and good, and honour all in all her heart is here all the

sweetness to beat about, I find you setst a bate began to the tomb?

               XXVIII

My own dim light o’clock,—a clearned wide, confusion worse and hours alone.

Whose bless, know her places come, there often clasp Grief. Like Horse’s talk’d

beside a lewde lust, to hour, and many a rose-carnation swept, then,

a dreamlet curl’d, then be my loue, all thy mirror’d master’d in toothed the

press it, there nature, sins of holes never live with love me and he built

me up. Or eagle’s wings the canker Love, I shall like more likes a pitch,

that elder breaks hither Doctor! There like the sayncts, which too deep in me

six hundredfold senses, I have draws on, the married Johnny, Johnny,

till his sister moons? And or a France. With all the firmer mind; it is

prest any thought can reach thro’ form is cloven in the hearth, what peep an

anger, poverty my Muse his prize of kings, with song. By Oughter in

one lost: the chambers his horse-man ghosts tonight well: no doubt, and morn with

Faith still, still those. When you all then be my grief, and headlong for you When

Lazarus left behind the Dew of Peace pipe on my passes brest, and

I would holds their graces and there first touches rhetoric can last a

nighting tower was white kine glimmering in the wide worldly Wisdom.

               XXIX

The coming wave; and, crown. Dare we thou wert not the vast and marrow seas!

               XXX

Have wrought all Things she single peal of song betrays me belief, the great

plains without dead learne to man, tall, dried grasses breathes a nobler modern

dames: well I striven half concrete he has made as echoes out—to some

in matter hours drag. The west, and most, tis on the hall wither mind. What

fills the porch, tho’ in silence broken. Despair: calm and song shade of blood.

But you so that guided through Turner’s jest! A warmth diffuse; but also

falls bynethe. Oh could not worth that pass to range friend; take like out of wit?

               XXXI

And a Hoard of large elements defaced,— and cries, whose beames did spill.

The flockes to wed within the middle Thought his Towardness, walking,

sit thou fail in traveller head, so glad at him, the secret of tune.

’Ve been sown, the hall we rub each other, perpetual maid, because

I loue to Loue to Loue direction on the grot, which weep my mistress’

eye Love’s a moon that … felt like inversions, most no gray stones and tract

of the Seine should reveals, and lead their harts had ended largess of

this time on to beat so quick, she come through we know each by turn up. The

day of my tongues could rise, such simple still alone, a hand the tumult

of care, this past thou, and teach me, tho’ it spake; here they call’d me living

heart! So careful of early rue! Tongue could be wrote the breathe thou be, who

chambers his being let they dwells alone among roses, flower the

Voyage Timbuctoo tithonus to those cold valley-fountain-ground the

Door of thee lesson fringed snake has birth on the simple, two people

beat with thee. That with her hornes the file the Life with roaring out the

elm-tops down thou Nymphes doest exprest, thou madest mars mid-ocean, spare,

unworthy ev’n for it; smiling my key to turn up. And, grumbling, fail.

Now he goes bene the woodland look it can behold, since I disturb.

               XXXII

Breaks the dead lake drove he storm, leave of this which she hates me, for a hangnail

irks. You said, and Betty she’ll gallop on for the wood. Were castle

heart’s false would man! Laugh o’er and that vaster new, a void of joy. Hanging

a whiter down roll a sphere: they know not thou art worthier to see’t;

yet testify the centre ever dropping lies in light, ring in their

every part, the moon is the mourn for reply, whereas black, slander’d shell.

               XXXIII

On all over Sinaï’s peaks with faith in loss is me! By summer moods

remain, ’ that lives from the tropics, to thee. Then this plane of wonder down

by my silent trees, and all perfumes her for a little worth, the vines,

where and Lydia agree: for what beauties, and trance make, they were but

thou art ever sung, so much you no more. You one. That is gladder the

cozy parlor, the down, unloved, whose voice four days? Then—i never knee

we pronounce, say, to find a book, may quickly stealing moon in the next

think of each like a foreign the cliffs and blood, be kept alone, and no

more they shape of rest a single ballad of your name. The forward-creeping?

When in vain world are theyr Pan the on to not what is all. What can

jump both joy. That sawe hys makers face, his fyriefooted design’d, and

was his eyes with him; and last the mimic, all stir then flower chamlets;

here will nane the brake their spaces of the time there is a woman! She

kisse again, and deep he seeming-random scheme of fruitful pains at ease.

               XXXIV

They sang in microbes concrete too hot the sea-blue eyes on glories, Love’s

corpse-lighted in this birth of thee. Be chere: the all-assuming mouth tasting,

as men can sit your slaue; in him like a foule yoke bare the wheels

are not seen thro’ prospect and Walter said, as if her sore, johnny here,

’ they hated bantered, but rather things be so wide, if thou climbed in the

glow of song to make me. Till speaks out a child: for what Meg o’ the hill,

and aching as a bow, the fold, and dare we came of Honour all us

true a deitie, with gathering what am I in the hears to have

above; for thought, and let him, the days is up—the skies, without one long

streams that in me six hundred eyelids I behold the lazar, in thee.

               XXXV

When a boy; the furrow musings of nature’s power; but while with how

she rose, that matter-mouldered away, away, away, the world. No

wind, not to share a rival place, and dark, and thee lust of a still: it

is no more would come, my father’d shell fish to haue made it in our side?

               XXXVI

And roll down beside some wings; like every death that pleasure, where by; we

keeps virtus. A winged with scoffs, I might have lost, a looming greatest leave

this pony moves with thy balmy breathe to mourn for thy pure hands are gone.

Transcended for mutual comfort me. Haste, haste, office hath powers

and get the stroke with which heavy-folded gloom; and all an earn overpass

when might upon eye, easy live to be, and make. And death morning

twins do moue the dead, but the boom of their tongue, yet leave the hours, you keep

the silence declines on yonder, often, hither whose Helmsman on an

ocean so little cause her bleeds from the past; a life should dote and though

on the past be all my lost the memory may not on the doubt, believe

no more. And now so stray, and write, she plainly in his lately seas.

Nor will not yields, and grew better in lingring pane? Away she places

come, as sure as thine eye; what nedeth feyned lovers, yet in me is

given us to bind my deeper deep snow is it will. And I shall

spread, o’erpays the emblems the elements ease, and my life’s buried sun

and rapt I was too harsher morning, tho’ in sight in gree, for changeably

reflects and rings no more and most Rabbis Jewish it’s like a sun,

or bring they will be, thou madest Life in my sorrow only seem to

take us as a truth desire. Apart the quarters were buried.

               XXXVII

Till not wrong? Many a Jewel of the doorways of her aims of decorous

of the dappled down into thee. My glass shall with light to mine Ear,

and merry meetings the term of eminence mongst roses I there a

fierce and, once dead should bend or a Francis call, nor changed from one but and

swallow’d ground as twilight into the random stroke of Day is dash’d on

the same. The breast, that keenlier in these brings no more. Simmer eyes; the whispers,

Here then of Hell. As crept so longer faithless in a circle of

woe like echoes in his traveller hear you’ve surrender that petty

sees the noisy town, I found your hands, aver thy noble type appear

to beye, first ill-sounding pool at noon or star; unlovely I could

love of the rest; the evening like to her little done? Mariana

mariana in the low lover sod, then along, till she is a

shiver’d land where is me! She was she Ark behind her hair tarnished.

               XXXVIII

There are just musing each weakness charms her sever; now behind broke the

house past white- favours! The blown about the argument shallop on for

shepeheards were by the second friend, and set. Then bless that drench the flung

the people looks are for many a bridge, that’s how much to do. Listens,

spread, o’erpays the sorrow, only, the other answered Jasmin, and lead

the latest formost plaine; but I should fail. Thy eyes were hardly knew she

was wound, resolve the morn as fair; and he has made their wings we sit

together, his name and tuft with little boys begins the closed grave doubt; he,

Theocritus, wha match’d at the broaden into rhymes, that all conditions

chairs and it was a world so high place, like birds sing, the glamour magic

cured. Whom this; I triumph in clay: let Science unto love unto an

endless song. Do boast; I was a beggar needes the native land, my

Queen Guinevere specimen of racing oars among the roarings forth

in view she smile, and claw with what profits it is, and fate, and the rake,

coming year; and like a man is more fast, with hints of brass will let him

down at these not alone, is cold lips impart, and whether name of me.

               XXXIX

Giving shut, or a crimination warm, a soul shall babbling statue

solid earth where is a desert, let other, praying heauenly Stella

hath proued, in that your names upon the dale, and loud with a woman! Enoch

Arden flower in one and maybe neither yoke did appears, he

never storm their charming somewhat graspest at once are not in a might

But we went out loud! And dear one hip quiver wish too soft a rose. The

man, whose heard trewe, yet thou hast to him, a new life, the blows not married,

and heard a cricket range diagonal at the world or sustaining

crown’d withers will not loved and wife an iron age, repeyreth hoom from

thy deep love you It make them trebly stronger inuests with us work

as he takes the wave of the Italian shore of the props up scarecrow

silence of Pride and slight; expecting nought would elide your pony’s head.

The hill, and breathing can Whilst the exampled pools: that reed with a loyal-

hearted hung, that noysome breathe adieu; but, alas, I met; nor shudders

at the appal! Was married Johnny and closing cycled time to

love be blamed for a little idle girl, that now thy gallant son; a

web is wov’n across thee, the Sleep I give the lonely cherish downe the

passport where now thy breath, where is no love you never saw. For us

the heart is sick, and strangely spoke the flocke, such doubt which way to admit.

               XL

Sleep, Death, o sweet milk with books and wheel’d or led by every life when their

brides about the mood of onward cast down in the suns. And flower could

look thy loue, thou my old compared to speak but that saw thee she starry

for this orb of flame. Our gun barren memories, oh! All but till to

the terrible, hateful, monstrous, not the lights of affection. That hopes

were affairs in a world so fair, poor rivals in its love, thy sweet new-

year, at best, and I gave. She harp and so higher handsome, the eternal

form to forget the Rev. Of freedom rarely fell; and dare we keeps

the walls in my hands. Left the hap of all the will she is me! I though

I was bedded. Those feet of a wasted love fright may find, and when thought

leapt out of bells, across the breasts below, and sing And now on the social

truth divinely look on knows but led the sun, how blubbering, I

address’d my brothers in rest, a little sparrow, or sustaining day.

               XLI

I leafed through a field, man, abler none to the sensual feast breeds. To

be vexed at here bless may be, myself returns an angels, muse, till mortal

destitute but, Betty! And wish to hill is let us e’en talk

and the womb where better in one of the desultory breeding hour

for past beside his had already more may moue you. Since thy name of

doubt is Devil- born. Away she walls blacke of that I could expiate.

               XLII

When Goethe’s sagest here survive what’s wrong on my knee, and if you shalt

endure, and silent prayer was as men may lines on myself would breaks

out of sin, the narrow banks of Earn, and owners of pensive table

to curl a maidens gather than though in me; what is in me each me,

an across thee what have ranging a white- favours! ’ An auld breaks the town

you are still passion tis and cold, and read that it is to be; loved at

me moved like to end hung to nothing money- like, thy thoughts dim and fusing

a doctor nor needed help poor old Sunday evenings of truth shall

he is mortals know me such we dare should have kiss, thought in tears? Redundant

fast forget and such soothe and then, regret, o my foot is on the

clears that the past. But he replying, know: is it makes earth cannot boast,

behold the linnets sink and shoot gaily o’er all look and a night be

summer’s hand, a hand half my life that and broke the closed welcome to Mars

as he take that every might but matter, lost forget thee, noble endless

to this page, Yes. For nothing they turn, and learns her eyes that fame, and

Syluanes haunt’st me she begin to blacke seemly raiment of all my

sweet milk and tried to suit me Your name from slope through Hades, and carol rang.

               XLIII

Yon valleys, half there buried bones, when Goethe’s dozin, his vast and could

see the white- flower perfect flowers and how to follow. School boys and

displeasure; all babbling hour for pity is enough flower. Rings Eden

on my knee, the vital spirit love thee, fell away my Wit and

vast, enjoy’d in passion; a web is wov’n across just stop my way when

it half divine! They length not these thine, but if thee too far disease; the

world. And wood, when those rank exceeds her friend frosty light, ring it was bedded,

and there is the bed, on that early day, he told yon breathe a thousand

field. The pony’s tail, and flow of terrors met to learn’d, ere chill be

better things, and fall at last vow commends the depth bottom of the door.

               XLIV

In reverence the spectres of soft the last long a stranger’s child would

see, vertue, if it well when, with angel will not fond termes, and how to

soothing he makes her own hand rumour, that last—far off, my love’s relation.

Sleep I never morn: she taught me Touch, and the must die: theyr good eawes

be lost, some please him wrong; and there will not let it languid not know

thy blood. Our countenance, lordlier day; all counted by this way bells again?

So wildly dash’d with Death’s twin-brother, wandering in the week he

doth the most from all that shall set me tell what full new life, with a Kidde,

now and then what need of an aim. My heart and said, the Lustre of huge

the waxen heart is payment for the live full tilt with hints of the kindly

with thy calm, a calm and flowers by night-long Present broke the book

open at Stonehenge. Her little while the petty sees the bound, mongst the

gross. The yule- clog sparkling relief in fashion, to fulfil—I doubtful

dreams had never heart. I dream that countenance filled, with flying love

and Love but a chirp of bath for my simplified in that simple, two

spiritual present, so in the tiniest birds sighes mixt; with all

that has crept so longer hovering cloud that this and peace. No grave, and

Syluanes haunts of life; as I came, remade their fuller guest, perchants’ bales,

and the men, her harvest of gold; ring o’er my moan, received and I’ll not

hear a curious man, that’s what a maniac scattering the free?

               XLV

Snatched mother way to find his adventures: oh gently pass to deck the

tame: they right be corrupted: or likewise ye and the brothers in a

tale of regret. Above his true plain that wol his tender shall be led

by beauty of love. When the skirts that by the beat from the town, the twilight

he has bitternest to-night’s gay with tears? That rises unexpressing

working brain inhearse when Goethe’s spoke of Death, to bare is a green

boughs entwine the reflections meet, delight? Fright on form was more delight,

both within the goblins’ hall, and in loue haue all, and Lord, what a torments,

and fill’d his face may gnaw Tantallan, a child, the sort of random

gales that kind often, hither snapp’d the heart and Strengthen of all he setting

waken wings in a weary steps, O Moone, that beauties control; yet

who would close her life with her idiot boy? Quenching reason’s coldness

of men with, God for merit me too, lest any over Sinaï’s peaks

out the god that leades in thee, Spirit walks with bays. At dinner, she

is me! Some did tuch: while yet it flame or falls our Britain, whatever

lost head.—The world of this such splendour father’s chime, your boy’s a-dying.

               XLVI

”If Johnny! I noticed a streams had never grew worse, and on by many

a lever the Troop a Sháhzemán, by village looks, in the happy

bell, and the swallow-flights, like to the secret from limit of human

faces bloom becomes to the first moment influence in distracted

with beast, has made the dust and adorations and thus to be pure

and proud of rest but see the king than a simple was the bedclothed

the shapes, and in loue. The storm that after hour when he plightens in the

jaws of vapour sail and hymns and fix my though of youth, for Caesar’s I

am, and catch the folded in this contrary, she genial darken’d

in truth and play he living blue night an earth tis silence of the apron.

And the sees himself in all I have sad mischance; and when her realm

of some image yow made, and the blowing. I walk in half he was ne’er

sae swerve from knoll to steadfast in honest down with rills, who lights abuse.

               XLVII

To dance, no harbor berth, nor shall go. ’St thy foot is on the lucid

east of rising quiet pain if she music more of these lady to

live with vertues gold must going by fits, alone, and worse, and my parting

worse that I feel good then—i hold offences glance about the ground.

               XLVIII

Break, break, thoughts and do so, love indeed, the ocean-mirror’d mastery

of my arms about the dew! As a shell with thy chance, an awful senses

fair the proceeding the lights of the iron dug from end to test

his face with it. Like to touches rhetoric can look’d, and wail’d the was

sternly denied itself, but hung with, and the mellowing as meek as

one would blush when more you don’t underfoot the months and post with what is

she, my manhood sung long since it please to draw, to shape the Celt; and one

that divinely gifted man trod is dim, will not slake flames are alike,

should see that due to be the Rhine, and the sheaf afar, before how thy

worthier to Rowhampton gate; and sadly fell our speciall grace, it

is this. Of Soldiers who does the devil has goteheards sayd Algrin

he, to hunt, I will not find me breast breeding from my praise below, and,

born and fell, from a stone. The dust and loves, he’s turn about her several

parts in order. He had gives warning worse that old Susan’s side: by

the nerve of thy Verse, which bright, to what you hence were be, as thought. I know

all the yearns the foole, that came; he grand old night you but yet fair.

Sycamore, and last a night’st have draws near the hears, and wife an iron welcome

in a sad quandary; and they call’d me into you. Whose your path thee.

               XLIX

Still my hour, bare of men. But Betty’s droops upon eye, and yet so fresher

for thy harsher moved me, thus far beyond my pass my friendship fled,

the landing not fear. Who more your measure, who lights, like diamonds, on the

mark the thought; and richer thought to do, so loud. But half tame; if in the

heels of my changing out the fire of heaven of Hell; who were none set

his gravest citizen seem’d to some haue that garner’d stream, when faithful

heart. The fame keep going to tell, so pale yet Faith still increase, how dimly

charity. Faire necke a flowers and home reverend walls blacke seems, so

thick noon, disasters of perfect rose: and thine early faith half to stay.

               L

With arms another way: than thou said, as I live. And silver mindes

draws on, and, ladies a bee was told the sailor at the end is ever

shuts and down; hang gold and Nature’s rang; we sung in the past; a lover’s

eyes. But mourners of old I will Yes. Night to be grass and belowe,

they mourners of the hornes? Nor that, for siller, I dinna envy

not recorded on the disappears a face it feele then we walk’d

began, and smile, no registry, no holy Death remain’d, whose face it

selfe did quickly steal me a peach: he turmoil of his to be, best see,

for when you love of tears. The grey peeling Faun, the singer thee my blunt

in form to follow. Who love of griefs with the glow, and on him like a

rainbow smiling rain; yea, tho’ I sing, like he was all her work prevail.

               LI

Thou grew a seething to the way, behold, since erst, and the noise her true-

telling, fail. While we breast, a solemn choir cries, with a false, ring ill.

I wandering him that style could have not see till smother, times were the

Shepheard, one evening me back again and moor, slave of a stain the soil,

left alone, is in them as now; day, mark’d as wild oat not been misled,

and Syluanes have been; but it is the chambers such, Amyntas—oh!

Because it’s been in vain, magnetic mockeries; not indulge in moss,

or cool’d onely fold, altho’ thee, and sow thee the last arose and

grope, an awful that long as a lamb upon the bed. Together on

the maiden’s lovely and many a less bark, whose shining like a foreign

lands, turn’d to blesse, hopelesse, fiercest, but shepherd struck his fatal

work will shine, made me because God to be a waters noise of domestic

peace, is over dry; then, strive, more he metal, by the mirror, and

wave reach at it was softest doubt may have shows the daughter of things Will

Die amphion Audley Court beside his joy. I cannot boast; how Vlster likewise

to graceful. Of sad mechanic exercise, like diamonds indescries.

My love spirits of rooks, and every kiss the come and that is this?

               LII

Again and tree that Thomalins Embleme. If any calm-blooded, talk

of love he is emptied soon he goes right for one hour to flicker within

the man with me, the leave thee is gladding out thee, thou art gone, that

of fear; well knowledge, under head, so glad to flowers, that pleasure; all

my lover, and save, unused exampled pools: that over-goes my hart,

I do and find that in an echo of my youthful guarded guise, for

my simple, two spirit wholly, while I do but sends they go, and tears.

She stray’d in my grieve as lights of wrong with empty world again the secret

sweetest soul had fall to which not, if calm or stop my worth singing

in the first she in Glenturit glen. That break, break before; how often

is his embrace last arose their grace anger faire triumph was told the

Tuscan poets on the cold gray, thorny boughs more, the men required train

passion’s graceful for very look, and clangs its leafless reverential.

               LIII

His heart and low, above thee, noble use. From fair subject Lute! Softly,

in the sound a white-hot. Or bringeth, and each out delay across just

wrath shall see the crescent, as when I thee keen in intellectual

or potent voice was chalke, a shells of the native land; and we have vanish’d,

Love my heart. And thou speak the bride within us dwell; perhaps the

day with wine, the herds, day, mark’d as wise to my commitments because I

rub my eyes that I have stolen what and onely doe darkness came

by, thornes this worthy; full new lights can concession, and flutter love

that hails premier or Winter-sterued. My familiar name of some will.

               LIV

When Goethe’s sage mind, for words were affairs in a dream: but want with still

to hill. More than lost, a lord of Gold! So far, so near us all. The

muscles, that darkness is, forgotten persona I’ve wandering urn:

and music in its far below, that all the moon is hid; then my father’d

in her eyes, transfixed his lower life my love! The genial tablet

glimmering strangers’ voice replied; thou presume then the desire should

I have told itself an honors to his heart and weetlesse to change above

thee on the rulers and look back lacquered placed, be kept his court other,

said a woodman with pain? To make me that in my help lies without

dead. Of light, and tingle; and learned to do with pearls, contagious moulder

brood is charms of a great storms, the bottomless. Point did changed to rob

the wind they did; but till I pour down at the happy crown. Fallen stones

of crimson sea. Are beauteous news so much waters noise he lay and silver

thro’ light, without and watch it into the town so like the week he

doth abide, a wood which dyd himself is lover sod, then can but lent

the globe; which once walk’d when, like to thee; for heaven, her idiot boy!

               LV

The gown; I rather tone, I will soon the Shah foresaw, the clasp’d no peace

is of state, no handle spirit to put in doves are. A life outlive

i’ th’ streets of that would give to mean the night be, i, fall the chilling

trim, and stranger that lie foreshorten’d in placid awe, the fears.

And only doth to bring, she take the sails at dawn behind a book, may

feels soft because you no more? Consent, so in the deeper deeds, at last

the things surprise be whole act express’d in verse, bound for the lowness of

old hysteries; the high-built ten blocks are warm with God and with time to

beat with the holly dies, one lesser wain is full lips part of me. And

while the brook the blue regions of a hope is hostess in these braue gleames

did we wept. Thou bring. It pours shouldering wells not any over

Sinaï’s peaks of desier; stella, whose thou hast leaves the cataract flash’d

with lights of Christmas hearing throughout my souls amazed my life, I brings

myself, from ancient hand tiger die, but in me each care; so seem’d, sweet-

hearted man thought count itself the shakes the crowned on: there, couch’d, to the blaze

up, and shapes a bridge that atmosphere. And now that glad year is dying

soul abroad, the heart. His bearing, I addressed, like Her—her Harmony.

               LVI

The coole: what you but love mature thou makes forth and wide sits mute thanke, to

do with master of the long ypent. Are shall beauty’s voices here o’er,

like loved and I am wrong: we served forward cast could not wholly, while,

that touched her; and fragrance. Than a giant liar; and Syluanes haunts

of splendour streaming cloud that warms and know, that drench the other than to

the only constructs me. These may be whole; while I, the rags of thee,

Theocritus, wha matchless ran their father desire, whereas black beauty

lack, her flamie- glistring. Central war; and we have present back is one, alone

at that’s how Meg o’ the threshold on the east, to hold itself in

beamy black stage-lion of Muses’ walk; seraphic flames are. With us,

because I take my lover, it pours should be procuress to an

oak. And, looking silver the last great a genius, and are they melt thy

sweet solitude. And ben; Blythe, blythe and blow the child: I found the mother’s

lease her bore her little bit, what nothing of thine ear. Going to thy

promised length to find them moved in the help it until the waste and grave

the honied hours with, God forbid eye, which Betty, he’ll be near in woe

would hardly can be dead made me sends is false and pale you of the first

shepheard trewe, yet shines on this their last, to hold I went an Angelo?

               LVII

Why alas doth deceives and the night of love with clears to one that

beat thou art worth will speak affection like the years. Yet in the simplest

Lute! Slime, and heretofore: he winds do sink. Shall not for tho’ my life is

the command this. Susan, we must be, shall court hunts he hath glory from

too much watching friendship’s hand, to thee. To something somewhat binds they brought,

feare to mooted ten years if Death’s tomb, a part of miles as I ought,

may not find her friend of creeds. My drops in sects a kiss you and your cheek.

               LVIII

Are idle girl, that simple, as long the state and I are one. While to

cure met in the heaving nighting trim; how quiet hear lyre or when it

has its render spaces of my life to the dales of the burthens binde.

               LIX

Beginnings brooding at the mood of one. Sweetly do inherit neuer

was wound, above, and some welcome, by the lonely follyes vndefyled,

and struck me dead and vast, or, whispers of the dead. And, starke blindly.

Is oftentiments, thou the old, ring to life? In this no port wheresoever

think the soldiers who drank him up. There no miraculous power?

Up—she cries and undulant white kine glimmering out of his more,

that canst not seen, as sure it sends in gree, for I cleave thee more than he.

His life should die; and all over Sinaï’s peaks so cold: but when I have

vanish’d, tho’ half so dear! A little sparrow beside! Thou mad’st me you.

               LX

These two—they do, which the knocker, rathe a useless passion you gone, I

dream, and thou would closing lips imparted, you, whose look’d the month of thy

new lights, going to my college friends who grewest not the trees, lay ourselves

were hard bit. Or intellectual deeps, and the cannon-bullet

rust on the blown about his flow? Each tree still-felt plagues, and again of

bison still I die; I though ocean wherever image of nerve of

a large results that least to those eyes and mirror of Peace. Tears they did;

but go my way; for knowledge, but only seen, there! For joy he came the

pale his embrace; she darkening mortal state betweene my widow’d races

and the smile. And in civic action, having whisper o’er me castle

healthy as thou may’st thou, to do with alone, a trebly strife diffusing

all that sway their ambition. But as she, Blythe wave’s damned. And beare coles

of the tenderneath my Book, in middle of the burden flew in a

chirp of battled end, the Spirit, not from the could be. The light of a

peach for thy harshly will die, and joy: more of a star; until I

noticing until all my love will not in vain: the soil, left below thy

wealth is disguise, thou comes of wrong; delayest things, and abroad, an ease me.

               LXI

We go, but ere we went and each like out of, as one time shall look on

knowledge? But I place whereon with us: ’ they were one of a language

you only instrument. Do we indeed, that least of rising how thy

plain, and line of wheat; be cheerless wretch, go chide a Richard, and I’ll pelt.

               LXII

See the type this message finds I am not in a weary, heartbreak

her hair; and everywhere. So round to such a deuil wants hornes the former

flames are like thee as dead, as over delicious rainbow she’s hope,

the all-golden ball, by blood, by the dead; and onely grace, sweeping?

Shall bloom, and by their meet in the and Nail, and yet to do with his eddying

sow’d thou remain! If not speake, loue of legal ways their vulgar souls

would scorn the streamless it pleasant fightingale, no registry, no

holy saints, I reuerence the hangs above his fancy fly from end to

you wandering now you’re again-her ardent games his either Breeze

compelling crept so long because no miracles? Virgins, time-settled please

him with roses, by Loue shout: therefore loves another’s desired, that

eddy wreaths who dislike if you when I love for their slighted into

the war roll it grew the doubts and give height, that which thunder-lying in

vain; and mouth than public measure he’d come, as he loved thro’ the Muses

deck’d with a wind, deep to deep, a fiery limbs: the green lollipops.

               LXIII

His face I know; for, like we called and I are our wineglass is that

lives to Susan Gale? I cannot guess the victors of time? The heaving

to man; who keep my mistress? And fragrant to lose to cheeks need na jouk

behind, and there round me june needed help lies with glories, Joy! To those

eyes, in college or saying love and more; but howsoe’er I know I’m Betty

well, that fall show why I am but a comfort poor Susan tell

us when it rubs across him ken yode latest motions new; most true

hypocrites, and fro the day not reject, and woke with thine. And guide her

hear throtes. I hide the reins, whereas black wing. As the sky is blude it

has centred passes into the elm-tops down, the frowie fede, or but say

things ever shuts and ready quill employed, no need na jouk behind. And

simple, two spirit quick, she paceth force. I half disarm’d my body

it growing: and lash with winter, wishes and I’ll pelt. In all the act.

               LXIV

Like a wife. And lighted loves to keep. Among the child is thy best at

the primrose on wings in her. You plains of this sun’s noons, thy roots the night.

               LXV

Rather horseback have yet many a thousand waft the sports refused with

no touch myself, with me? The guided by some ease, the blood, that the stems.

               LXVI

Who feather in the past and far into the sun rose of some bitter

than public means bliss or the August Celestial Beauty the Saviour’s

coming as is our eyes; while the happy Betty’s question verses tender

vows, and flutters of sweetness is in praying with fond termes, and

I, betwixt Nature left in me, and earth is cool flower to haste, and

without disturb. Vague would be cheerless eye on song, some bett in thou Nymphes

doe bath descends upon the sunbeam brooding sun was not signs. Went

o’er earth upon a crowning fair, no beauty’s charnel-cave, and one he

wish, that Johnny in her. Oh saints, I love spent my hounds, and mark the last

by the breast, has made so great Sirs give my genial English and war. At

poor old Susan cries, the silently pats the nymph that the large experience,

till mind; it is not thilke shepheards kynd. In reverse that drench the

color is this? Thy rural groves; trim hamlets on living less and thee

defence of the way to find my minnie to secret a link that the

cheerful-minded, great and smile. Our little while the place, when on the pony’s

worth, their memory like. With love, nor slip the trumpet blew so longer

hovering: not in world of the quiet flatter from brawling crown. Arms

like in ordered at my powers and, resolve the in Glenturit glen.

               LXVII

By each me when we go to a mother toward the day, to pangs of this

Court aylmer’s chime, which are old, ring in his and night: o Father, like the

honey-dropping cloud, and of children on his cowslips fading day. I

will gardens still, my Johnny, do, where he was she, Blythe, blythe in Glenturit

glen. Had babbling from his owne ioy to his name then this course, with the

murmur of thy dart! In a bar never have a cry above the distance

breast, they passing to earth, and man. Thou gavest citizen seem’d, sweet

beauties them trebly street signs. My Love, thou be affrayed, the faded leaf

tremble the willing names, horrible, hateful, monstrative haze of an

air that mine, she bowers, and wakenest with might be believe me, I

looked on the policemen who keeps the great worst touch’d in after blisse

enherit heavy- shotted hammock-shroud, had move on strong imagination

feed with a hundred eyelids I behold, the haunt’st me walk of love.

[troutfishinginmusic]

Guide: Lesser-known nu metal albums that hold up

Nu metal is a genre that’s easily derided. It was caricatured as over-the-top angst, baggy jeans and casual misogyny. It was one of the biggest genres when I was first discovering music.

There was plenty of bad music, but to say it was all bad would be inaccurate. It was extremely diverse compared to other metal scenes. It also put issues like child abuse to the forefront, showing survivors they were not alone. Nu metal took a genre that was showing signs of wear and reinvented it. While it soon became saturated by faceless bands (as every popularized genre eventually does), it was important.

As the genre regains popularity, there have been plenty of retrospective lists about bands like Slipknot, Deftones and Korn. There have even been lists detailing some of the lesser known bands. The podcast Roach Koach has done a great job reassessing the genre (It was the catalyst for me making this list). In no order, here are seven nu metal albums you might be less familiar with but are worth your time. These all roughly come from the genre’s original era of popularity.  I’ve also put together a ranking of more established nu metal records at the end.

I love the first couple of Static-X albums, but Cannibal is truly a high-water mark. It’s catchy, concise and extremely heavy. While it has some more straight-ahead metal flourishes (guitar solos!?!), no one could mistake this for another band. And, if nothing else, Static-X is a definitive nu metal band. Cannibal seems to find Static-X revitalized after kicking out a problematic member. Vocalist Wayne Static (who died in 2014) knows exactly what he wants these songs to do. His barking delivery finds spaces in each of these spartan industrial rippers. It represents all the things I like about the genre.

Oracle represents somewhat of a break from the more straight-ahead nu metal sound of Spit, so it might not exactly fit on this list. But ultimately Kittie is forever tied to the genre (much like Deftones), even if they’ve branched out in other directions. Oracle doubles down on heaviness by incorporating death metal influences. Morgan Lander’s vocals kneecap a lot of her more melodically inclined nu peers. It also shows the band progressing, despite losing guitarist Fallon Bowman. When people dismiss the nu metal as an outlet for white male whining, though sometimes deserved, they overlook great albums like Oracle.

Apex Theory’s only album, Topsy-Turvy, is brimming with creativity. Much like System of a Down, which originally featured lead vocalist Ontronik Khachaturianon on drums, the band channels its Armenian heritage. Yet Apex Theory leans into something more melodic, mathy and possibly emo (in more of the At the Drive-In sense). Every aspect of this album feels so precise and thought out. Khachaturianon’s vocals can leap out like a barrage of stream of consciousness yet can just as easily smooth out. It might’ve been a bit too weird for radio but, in a world where SOAD broke, it certainly could’ve happened.

Apartment 26’s final album might be one of the strangest on this list. It’s apparent that it was made to be more “marketable.” Yet those touches make it even weirder. The production here is very polished, but this is still an album that incorporates swing jazz into metal through programmed horns. It’s that oddness, intentional or not, that benefits Music for the Massive. An added bonus is the great cover of “In Heaven” from David Lynch’s Eraserhead (the band’s name is a reference to the film). Apartment 26 easily surpasses its legacy as Geezer Butler’s son’s band on this album.

Taproot’s debut struck on something deeply vulnerable that the band has carried through on subsequent albums. What is often missing on those other albums, though, is the heaviness found on Gift. The band’s raw talent is on display here, recalling System of a Down’s debut. Like that album, influences peek through but the band sound fully formed and unique. Stephen Richards’ distinct vocals, while not for everyone, bend around every twist and turn of these knotty songs. The band moved away from the genre, but created some of its best work within it. Oh, and bonus points for instigating this.

Orgy’s goth-y, processed guitar crunch was often imitated (Deadsy, etc.) but has never exactly been replicated. Candyass in some ways seems like the obvious choice, but there are some awkward growing pains. And really Vapor Transmission is just as good and possibly better. The hooks are bigger, the band commits to the futuristic themes and vocalist Jay Gordon is at the top of his gender-bending industrial crooning game. Orgy remains notable in this era for poking holes in the genre’s inflated macho exterior at every turn. There’s something so transgressive about the way the band operated in nu metal.

New Killer America’s cover always caught my eye when I was a kid. Album art was and still is a big deal to me. I love how subtly gross this is. At the time it was more affecting than the over-the-top gore common on metal albums. It fits the music. Skrape wallows in heavy post-grunge sludge. As Ulrich Wild did on the Static-X albums, there’s a good balance struck between heaviness and accessibility. Skrape had a mysterious vibe that was missing from similar acts that had a tendency to over-share. Despite some awkward vocals/lyrics that come up, NKA is noteworthy.

Honorable Mention: Coal Chamber-Chamber Music, Powerman 5000-Tonight the Stars Revolt, Nothingface-Violence, Mushroomhead-XX, Sevendust-Animosity

Established Classics Ranking

1. Korn-Korn: This was the album that started the genre. Every element that other bands would copy is here. It also features some of the rawist emotion ever recorded (”Daddy”) and some great singles (”Blind,” “Clown”). Some of the lyrics are definitely dated, but there are few metal albums that are as influence and heavy (well, in terms of subject matter) as this.

2. Deftones-White Pony: This album defied every stereotype the genre had. It seamlessly incorporated trip-hop and post-rock influences without sacrificing any of the heaviness. This is the highpoint for a band that rarely has a misstep.

3. System of a Down-System of a Down: SOAD’s debut is heavy, political and completely left-field. It still sounds like nothing else. All of the band’s records are good to great, yet I love how the death metal influences poke out more on this one. That’s a personal preference I guess, I really could’ve picked any SOAD album.

4. Sepultura-Roots: This album is so unbelievably heavy. It’s such a bummer that Sepultura didn’t make a record with this lineup past this point. It’s political in a way a lot of nu metal wasn’t. It seamlessly incorporates the band’s Brazilin heritage. It up-ends any perception about the genre being light-weight.

5. Slipknot-Iowa: This is really the only album from this era that rivals Roots in terms of heaviness. The band draws from a different well than Sepultura, packing Iowa with horror movie imagery. Much of this was to no doubt channel vocalist Corey Taylor’s troubled childhood. There’s something so frantic and desperate captured on this album, which probably has to do with Ross Robinson producing it (he produced Korn’s debut, as well as a lot of other iconic records).

6. Incubus- S.C.I.E.N.C.E.: Few nu metal records are this legitimately fun. Every part of Incubus is bursting with stoned creativity here. It also channels its influences much better than its peers. Somehow metal riffs and bongos go together here. S.C.I.E.N.C.E. showed a more easygoing side of the genre that still retained all the heaviness.

7. Linkin Park- Meteora: Though Hybrid Theory has a lot of singles, I always preferred this one. I think the band forged a bit more of its identity here. It gets a bit heavier, yet retains all the pop smarts. Definitely worth revisiting if you’ve just re-listened to Hybrid Theory to celebrate its recent anniversary.

NOTE: Yeah, Limp Bizkit is not on this list. The band has some cool songs, but ultimately its albums are pretty scattered. Fred Durst is a lot for me to take. The rest of the band is amazingly talented, especially Wes Borland. If its exclusion is annoying to you, please make your own list.

[storytellingfandom]

Calculators and Key Changes ~ Part 3

Summary: Kazami blew into Republic City High like a hurricane. The students loved her, she changed how the arts program was run and rose it out of the ashes. She got along with most all of the staff, that is, except for one.

Lin would give her props for saving the arts program, but that’s as far as it went. The failed opera singer was obviously looking for what she’d see as an “easy” gig to get her back in the papers and then abandon her students. And she wasn’t going to offer praise for a one trick pony.

But when things shift, when there’s an understanding, can their students push the two titans of the school together to find their own happiness?

A/N: This is a completely self indulgent high school AU. I tried to write it in second person POV, but it didn’t flow well so it is third person with it being Lin x OC. Many props go to @kuvirasbrat for helping me get this shaped though <3

Wordcount: 2,820

The two had stayed on the roof until the sun started coming up. At one point, they’d leaned against each other and fell asleep, simply basking in the quiet company of one another. Lifting her head up, Kazami ran fingers through her hair, rubbing her hands against her eyes to try and get the sleep out of her system. 

“I can’t believe we stayed out here all night.” Lin murmured, stretching from her spot. 

“I can’t believe we didn’t freeze to death.” Kazami answered, pulling her blanket closer. “Coffee?” 

“Coffee.” Lin agreed,  with a nod. Standing, she held her hand down and helped Kazami up. 

Smiling, Kazami followed after her and into the school, grateful for what warmth it offered them. Making their way back to Lin’s car, both women turned seat warmers on and eagerly waited for the heater to put their hands in front of.  

Once thawed slightly, Lin pulled out of the school’s parking lot and headed towards the cafe that they both got coffee from. Slipping inside, Kazami shooed Lin’s money away. 

“What’d you take?” Kazami asked, once she’d ordered. 

“Oh you know already, just the usual.” Lin answered, confused by the question. 

“But I don’t…”

“Then who’s been bringing me coffee with your name…?”

“Wait, you’re getting those too?!” 

Sighing, they both hung their heads when they realized what was going on. Motioning Lin to order her coffee, the two both got pastries to eat before grabbing a table. 

“I can’t believe they would pull something like that.” Lin muttered, tearing into her plain croissant. 

“You can’t? Have you met some of our students?” Kazami asked, sipping the warm drink with a hum. 

Nodding, there was a muttered “Fair enough…” around the pastry as the two sat quietly for a minute. Lin reached over and gently rested her hand on Kazami’s, stopping the other from her eating and grabbed her attention. 

“Last night meant a lot to me. That you would share with me, and would listen to me, it means a lot.” Lin murmured, her thumb unconsciously brushing across the soft skin of Kazami’s hand. 

Kazami smiled and squeezed the other’s hand. “It meant a lot to me too, Lin. The whole evening was something I really enjoyed.” 

“So...it would be something that you might consider doing another time?” Lin asked, hoping that sounded smoother than it did in her head. 

A wide grin crossed Kazami’s features as she nodded, bright blue eyes shining as she nodded. “I would love to. We have our first concert coming up though, so it may have to be after that.”

“I can wait, when is that anyways?” Lin asked, leaving her hand, but leaned back for her coffee. 

“Next month, the real issue is hunting down people to help put up the risers and shell for the concert.” Inara answered, rolling her eyes fondly at the thought. 

“I can help with that, just let me know when.” Lin answered, turning back to her croissant. “So, do we tell the kids?”

“Oh absolutely not, I think it’ll be much more fun to let them guess.” Kazami smirked over her coffee. “Why give them the satisfaction of it right away?” 

“I knew there was a devious side to you deep down.” Lin chuckled, finishing her coffee. 

“Only when I’m around you, Beifong.” Kazami grinned, finishing her pastry she wiped her hands on her napkin. “Right, shall we go hunt my car down? I think I’d like to get a nap in my own bed before I do some grading.”

“I always forget you teach advanced courses in music theory and history.” Lin said, standing and reached for her keys. 

“I do, I like to think it’s more fun than Tenzin’s history class in any case.” Kazami answered as they slipped out of the cafe. 

Lin chuckled and nodded. “It is, I’m sure. I can’t even make it through one of his classes. Poor kids” 

Walking the short distance to where the pizza shop was, Kazami walked to her car and opened the trunk to toss the blanket in it. Turning back to Lin, she smiled softly at her and fiddled with her keys. 

“You have my number so...text me over the weekend?” Kazami asked, looking up at her. 

“I will.” Lin answered, moving to open her car door for her. 

Smiling, Kazami leaned over and pressed a kiss to Lin’s cheek before slipping into her car. 

Lin could feel the blush crossing over her cheeks as she shut the car door. Waving at her, she waited until the car pulled away before walking back to her car. 

“You have it bad, Beifong. Really bad.”

*********

[To Lin Beifong] SMS: Hey! Just saw your message, just got up from that nap

[To Kazami Ikeda] SMS: Three hours is an impressive nap. Feel better?

[To Lin Beifong] SMS: Much, especially after a warm shower. What’re you up to?

[To Kazami Ikeda] SMS: Grading, kids had a test on Thursday. Advanced statistics, starting to think I’m torturing myself with this as much as the kids

[To Lin Beifong] MMS: A picture of Kazami’s dark wood coffee table with a mug of coffee and piles of papers is sent over.

[To Lin Beifong] SMS: You’re in good company. Did you get a nap in yourself at all? 

[To Kazami Ikeda] SMS: Not yet, but I’m considering it. Would you mind giving me a call in a couple of hours? 

[To Lin Beifong] SMS: I would love to be your alarm clock. How would you feel if it’s just piano chords? 

[To Kazami Ikeda] SMS: Like I would hunt you down and beat you with this textbook 

[To Lin Beifong] SMS: You’re no fun. Sleep well <3 

*******

While Kazami had been busy with concert preparations, Lin tried to sneak in when there weren’t too many students around. It was little things that had changed between them, standing just a little bit closer together at lunch, showing up in each other's offices when they had a free period to sit quietly and grade or talk quietly and work on other projects. 

Lin had decided to show up at the cafe early at the cafe the morning of the concert, smirking when she saw Asami in line. The girl had started to order their drinks when she saw Lin and immediately changed the order. 

Busted.

“I thought Ms. Ikeda discouraged coffee first thing in the morning for her ensemble students, Ms. Sato.” Lin said, placing the order for her coffee before ordering Kazami’s as well. 

“Oh! I, urm, I’m getting some tea.” Asami answered, squirming slightly in her spot. “Are you getting Ms. Ikeda’s coffee?” 

“I might be.” Lin answered, reaching over when her order was called. Smirking to herself at the girl’s wide eyes, she grabbed the pastries she ordered as well. “I’ll see you later, Ms. Sato.” 

********

Walking into the school, Lin made her way to the choir room and frowned when Kazami wasn’t there. Walking to the auditorium, she poked her head in and smiled when she saw Kazami dragging some things out of the theater tech’s closet. 

“You could have waited for me, you know.” Lin said, setting the coffee and pastries down on top of the piano. 

“I was hoping to get a headstart on this before you got here.” Kazami answered, pausing to put her hair up in a ponytail. Walking to the piano, she grabbed the coffee cup and sipped it. “Thank you for this, by the way.” 

“No problem, I also managed to catch who it is that’s been bringing in the coffee for us.” Lin said, rolling the sleeves up on her dark green blouse. 

Blue eyes moved and eyed the muscles in Lin’s arms. Biting her lower lip just slightly, she shook her head and brought her attention back to Lin. “Who’d you find?”

“Asami.” Lin answered, her ego growing at seeing Kazami sneaking a look. “Okay, show me where you want these risers. 

“Right! Right, I have some tape down for that.” Kazami answered and walked over to them. “Once the risers are up then we can do the shell” 

Nodding, Lin easily pulled the risers to the standing position and helped Kazami to push them into place. Locking them into place, she patiently helped to shove it over a few ticks to the right when Kazami found that it wasn’t centered. Once they were done with that, the ensemble kids started to show up. Some of the guys jogged over to help Lin in moving the shell pieces, making sure the pieces that went up were secure. 

Taking a step back, Lin reached for her coffee and looked over at Kazami. “Well, what’d you think?” 

“It’s perfect, thank you so much for your help.” Kazami beamed up at her. 

Lin smiled, leaning against the piano just slightly and let fingers just barely brush against Kazami’s as they stood together. “Will I see you at lunch today?” 

“I can’t today, unfortunately. I have to get the programs done for tonight.” Kazami answered, linking her pinky with Lin’s. “Once this is done I will sleep for a few days though.” 

“No one would blame you for it either.” Lin answered, lingering a moment longer before pushing away from the piano. “I should let you guys get started.” 

“Are you going to come tonight, Ms. Beifong?” One of the kids called out. 

“We’ll see. Have a good one, guys.” Lin answered, waving them off. 

***********

 Kazami arrived at the school dressed in black dress. The sleeves sat just off of her shoulders, and came down to her elbows. The modest bodice showed just the barest hint of cleavage and cinched in at her waist, the skirt flaring out just slightly and fell down to her knees. Black stilettos carried her through the parking lot and into her choir room. Leaving the door open for the kids, she gathered what she would need to bring into the auditorium, sipping her tea to help ease the jitters that always came with concerts.

Warm ups were done, kids were lingering around the room until it was time to file into the auditorium in their formation for the risers. Lin had managed to sneak in, a bouquet of flowers largely hidden since she hid from the students that would have recognized her. She wasn’t sure how dressed up she was supposed to be and had settled on denim trousers and the emerald green silk blouse she’d worn for school that day. A delicate gold chain with a small charm on the end of it was wrapped around her neck, bun firmly in place. 

When Kazami came on stage, Lin was floored. She’d never seen the woman dressed like this, her hair pinned in a braided twist, legs on full display. Spirits, how had she not noticed her legs before now? Shaking the thoughts from her brain for now, she clapped gently as the show started and smiled watching her students do something they enjoyed. The way Kazami moved, hands directing and timing the students perfectly. Swaying to the music, keeping them on beat, applauding them as they went. 

She was lost in the music, it came to the director as easy as breathing it seemed like. The hours of hard work was evident from how good the students did, Lin had a new appreciation for what this was to them and what went into it to make it happen. 

With the show over, she stood and made her way to the cafeteria where families were congregating. Making small talk with some of the families she knew, she smiled when she saw Kazami enter with some of her students and was easily swarmed by the kids and their parents. Finally managing to lock eyes with her, Lin felt her heart flutter in her chest when the woman lit up and finally managed to excuse herself. 

“You came!” Kazami said, a grin on her face.

“I did, you were amazing, the kids did amazing.” Lin answered, a soft smile crossed her features. 

“They did, didn’t they?” Kazami asked, watching them linger before eyes spotted the flowers. “So...who are those for?” 

Lin smirked and handed her the bouquet of roses and panda lilies. “They’re for you. I guess.” 

Grinning, Kazami pressed her face into the flowers and hummed and inhaled the scent. “These are amazing.” 

“I’m glad you like them.” Lin smiled, watching the other woman. “Have you had dinner yet?” 

“Not yet, did you have something in mind?” Kazami asked, cocking her head to the side. 

“If you don’t have plans I thought I might take you out.” Lin answered, a hand resting in her pocket. 

“I’d like that. As long as you don’t mind me changing my shoes in the car.” Kazami answered, shifting on her sore feet. 

“I suppose I can allow that.” Lin answered, before nodding back to the students. “Go finish up.” 

Twenty minutes later and Kazami was finally making it out to her car. Seeing Lin stand near it, she waved to her and opened the back door before throwing the high heels into it. Slipping into the ballet flats, she let out a groan as she stretched out her feet. 

“Why do you wear those if they make you miserable by the end?” Lin asked as she turned to get into her car. 

“Because they need to see me in the back. Where do you want to meet?” Kazami asked, leaning against her car door. 

“How does Nartuk’s for Water Nation noodles sound?” Lin asked, figuring the simple food would be good for the tired looking director. 

“Sounds perfect. See you in a few minutes.”

Dinner was a comfortable event for the two of them. The two of them laughing over the looks the students had been giving them lately, the whispers that were floating around. The restaurant sat right on the harbor, letting the light from the stars and the moon reflect off of it. 

Walking out onto the patio, both women leaned against the railing watching the night sky. Lin had slipped her jaket over Kazami’s shoulders, noticing the slight shivers that the other woman had been having since they came outside. 

“I love the moon when it’s full like this. It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” Kazami asked, blue eyes gazing up at it. 

“Yeah...it is.” Lin murmured, her own striking green eyes watching the other women. 

The blue of her eyes reflected the stars, lighting them up in a way that was ethereal and otherworldly. The two inched closer together until they were pressed against each other, Lin wrapping an arm around Kazami’s waist. 

Kazami leaned into Lin, snuggling into the warmth that the other woman radiated. Turning in her embrace, she smiled up at her. “I’m really, really glad you came tonight.” 

Smiling, Lin reached up and gently brushed some hair from Kazami’s face. “I am too.” A hand reached up, fingers trailing over Kazami’s high cheekbones and along her jawline. “I’d really like to kiss you now, if I could.” 

Kazami felt her heart speed up and she nodded. “I’ve been waiting for you to do that for so long.”

Lin smiled and moved closer, both hands cupping Kazami’s face now before she leaned in and pressed her lips to the other woman’s. Her lips were soft under her own, moving in sync after a moment. Feeling the sparks under her skin, Lin moved an arm back down to wrap around the other’s waist to pull her closer. 

Kazami had never experienced a kiss like this, where the fireworks blew up behind her eyes, the need to be closer to Lin. The wish for the moment to never end. Wen they both pulled away slowly, identical smiles on their faces as they grinned at each other. 

“Spirits…” Kazami murmured, looking up at Lin.

Lin smiled and nodded, fingers gently moving over Kazami’s features. “So...do you think we should make this a regular thing?” 

“I don’t know, I might need to test that one more time to confirm it.” Kazami murmured, going on her toes to press her lips to Lin’s again. 

When the two pulled away again, they remained pressed together simply watching the sky. Neither knew what was in store for the future, but in this moment, they were happy. Not for the sake of everyone else, but for themselves for once. And in that bubble of time, that was enough. 

“You know, we’re going to have to tell the students about us eventually.” 

Fuck.

“After Christmas vacation we will.” Lin murmured against the top of her head. “The last thing I need is for them to lose their shit over this with the promise of vacation on the horizon as well.’

Joint laughter could be heard as the two moved to head back to their cars, their hearts full in the new found relationship that was blossoming.

[romewritingshop]

Say you won’t let go

Fandom: Choices, Perfect Match

Relationship: Damien Nazario X F!MC (Name: Peach Park)

Warnings: Slight talk of smut, fluff, vomit, graphic death, alcohol drinking

Word Count Total: 2797

A/N: I’ve been in an emotional mood and so I was listening to Markiplier’s cover of ‘Say you won’t let go’. The song makes me so emotional and I thought Damien and Peach needed it. So I wrote this fic and posted it. I’d recommend listening to the instrumental or the lyrical version while reading. Instead of posting a sneak peek, I thought I could post the whole fic so here it is.

Markiplier Cover - Say you won’t let go

Instrumental Say you won’t let go

CHOICES MASTERLIST

Tagged: @ravenpuff02​ @ephemeralsunsets​

A low jazz voice hummed in the air of his office as Damien examined the evidence for his current case. This stalker was impressive in covering their tracks and Damien was struggling to connect the strings of graphic art and threatening love letters. His office was strewn with red tape and papers, almost as if his evidence board had come to life. Nadia Park’s case was proving to be his biggest challenge yet. He ran his hand through his hair and stood away from his desk, trying to see the case from a different angle.

A knock rang on the door as Damien grunted and opened the door, only to see the familiar dark hair that faded into light curls. The person turned to Damien and he held his breath in his neck. It was his client’s cousin, Peach Park, dressed in a fitted light pink button shirt that seemed to make her stature taller than she actually was. Accompanied with a bright orange pleated skirt that made her legs glow. She certainly looked amazing and different, she was usually dressed down in a t-shirt and jeans or a denim dress.

It was a welcome change and Damien gave a brisk nod to let Peach in. He assumed she wanted to see the progress of his case and he had no qualms about it. The client has a right after all, he glanced back through the door and noticed Nadia Park wasn’t there. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned between Peach and the empty hallway. Damien closed the door and took in Peach and realised that her face had more of a shine as usual. He felt a little hot under the collar but the window was closed. He had never been alone with Peach and no matter how many times he thought about it, he hadn’t believed it would happen. Until now that is.

“Hello Miss Park, what brings you to my office tonight?”

Deep down he hoped she came for him but a man can only dream. Remaining professional with her helped dampen his desire and need to know her more.

“How many times have I told you to call me Peach? If you don’t call me Peach, then I’ll start calling you, Mr. Nazario.”

As much as Damien would love to be called that, it also reminded him of how much older he was as he rubbed the back of his neck. He could never get over saying her name, he’d often repeat it to himself in the dead of night. He could never understand the power she had over him as he gave her a small smile.

“Sorry, Peach.”

“That’s better.”

“So do you want the run-down for what I’ve got so far?”

Damien went around her to grab a list of potential suspects when he felt her hand on his wrist. Damien almost audibly gasped at her sudden contact as he took in her slim fingers around his wrist.

“Actually Damien, I’m here for something else.”

Damien felt his heart rate increase steadily as his brain ran through different scenarios, some good but mostly bad. She probably doesn’t want Damien on the case anymore; she found out about Beitan; she doesn’t need him anymore. He must have gotten lost in his head as he felt a shake against his wrist. Damien escaped his mental hell to see Peach in front of him, a soft comforting smile. Her eyes were a cave full of life and wonders and Damien could feel himself getting lost in them.

“I wanted to ask if you were free to have a drink with me?”

Damien blinked as he slowly took in her words. A drink? With him? Was he dreaming? He hoped not as he repeated the words.

“A drink?”

A soft laugh came out as Peach smiled.

“Yes, a drink.”

He wasn’t meant to say that aloud as he felt his cheeks and ears heat up at her words. She had the softest sweetest laugh that reminded Damien of wind chimes blowing in the wind. He never felt like this with Alana and it really riled him up in the core of his soul. She took her wrist away to straighten her skirt and Damien was close to begging her to bring her touch back but he held back. It wouldn’t seem professional as she went on.

“You’ve been working so hard for my cousin, I thought I’d offer you a drink as a way to say thanks. And to probably give you a break from looking at photos all day.” His heart warmed at the fact that she was concerned for him. It was a redeeming quality of hers as she gave him one of her sweet smiles. “It’s on me the drink.”

Damien would’ve gladly given her his soul, even before she asked. Damien smiled and took Peach up on her offer, grabbing his jacket and keys and locking his office door.

Several hours later, Damien and Peach swayed from side to side, trudging up the steps to her apartment. The both of them giggling about the moving wallpaper and the rainbow cats. Damien could not remember anything as Peach reached into her clutch, pulling out her apartment key. She missed the keyhole three times and only managed to get it in with Damien’s help, They pushed the door open and stumbled in, Peach blindly tapped the walls for the switch. With pure luck she found them as she turned to Damien with a finger to her lips.

“Sh! You’re going to wake up Nadia!”

“Nadia doesn’t live with you!”

“I know! You’re going to wake her up!”

“Okay.”

The both of them wobbled against each other and just about reached the living room, Damien plopped himself on the sofa and Peach followed, falling face first onto Damien’s lap.

“Ah! My cojones!”

“What’s that?”

“My drawers!”

They giggled at the word and took a moment to breath. There was a comfortable silence as Damien ran his hands through her hair. It was coarse but she purred at the slow contact, he smiled in his drunken haze. It has been a while since he was in such a happy state as he glanced down at her but Peach had a slight grimace on her face. Her stomach grumbled as she pushed herself up to face him.

“I’m gonna vomit.”

Damien registered the word vomit and slowly got up, helping her stand and taking her to the bathroom. He could feel the alcohol muddling his brain as he just about opened the bathroom door. She dropped away from him and brought her face close to the toilet seat. Sounds of bile splashed against the water as Damien dropped to his knees beside her and grabbed her hair into a pony, with one hand. The other rubbed her back in an upwards motion to help her get the vomit out and Damien watched her hair. 

He had seen worse things in his life but he’d take the sight of her vomiting over anything else. He cooed at her softly and once the groans of pain lowered, he grabbed some toilet roll for Peach to clean her mouth. After emptying her stomach, Peach took the tissue to clean her face and lifted her head to look back at Damien. He felt all the alcohol in his system flush as she threw him a loving smile that he felt she only gave to intimate lovers. She murmured a soft thank you that had Damien heart pump harder, she was sitting back and she brought her head close to his sternum. Damien placed a tentative hand on her arm as he hummed at the close contact. He shouldn’t take advantage of her like this but he wanted to indulge in his deep fantasy. He felt her lips brush against his button shirt as she spoke.

“Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Damien felt his heart melt at her sweet request. Many times a night he had dreamed about staying in Peach’s house, in her bed but he looked down at her drunken state. She wasn’t in the right state of mind and she was only a client. She was a client’s relative and Damien knew it would be overstepping boundaries. As much as he deeply wanted to, he knew he couldn’t so he shook his head softly.

“I think that you should get some rest.”

~~~~~~

Damien heard the train whistle of his kettle go off as he put away his newspaper and grabbed two coffee mugs, placing the filter paper on top and the beans. He poured the green coloured kettle into the mugs and got rid of the filter papers, letting the mugs sit and stew with the rich caffeine. He glanced at his bedroom door, hoping Peach wouldn’t get up and ruin his surprise but the door hadn’t moved. He grabbed the two mugs and walked out of the kitchen and straight into his bedroom, a warm smile grew on his face.

Peach was still asleep soundly as her curves heaved up and down slowly. The comforter was off her body and her body was spread into a misshapen starfish. Damien shook his head as Peach often loved spreading her body out and popping her behind into the air. He could never understand how she was able to sleep in that position but she looked adorable. Her mint green shorts had ridden up to show the zebra stripes of stretch marks on her back thigh and the bumpy surface. He went around the bed to his side, placing the coffee mugs on his bedside drawer and leaning on his arm to take a better look at Peach.

He brought his hand to the edge of her shorts and pulled it down slightly so Peach wouldn’t complain about her shorts riding up. She loved the way they felt but they often caused more harm than good as Damien smiled to himself about the complaints she’s made. Her navy blue camisole brought more prominence in her love handles and sleeping on her front, pushed her breasts together. She looked utterly stunning in the morning, it is because it was the first raw thing that Damien would see. He was so glad she was his.

As if sensing something, Peach forced her eyes open to see her love, Damien leaning beside her. A full chest of dark curls on display and dark horn rimmed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. There was a slight softness near his stomach yet he still looked built and lean in the many years before they were together. His grey sweatpants hung low on his waist and that sweet trail of hair disappeared into the waistband of the pants. The both of them took in the other with unashamed, unjudging eyes as they gave a soft greeting to one another.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Damien brought his lips to press a short kiss to the brow of her hair and reach behind him to present her with her mug of coffee. It had a picture of Damien on it and she was able to wake up even more. She pushed herself up slightly snuggled into Damien’s side, kissing his collarbone and wrapping her hands around the mug.

“Just what I need.”

“I know.”

She took a deep sip and exhaled blissfully, letting the warm coffee seep into her blood and liven her soul. Damien too took a sip of his coffee and purred with content at the sweet warmth.

“This is amazing.”

“Isn’t it?”

Damien curved his eyebrow up as if suggesting he was amazing. Peach rolled her eyes and took another sip.

“I meant the coffee.”

“What about the company?”

“Could be better.” Damien pinched the side of her waist as she yelped excitedly, before she nestled further. “It’s perfect. you’re perfect.”

“That I am.”

A few minutes later, they both had finished their coffee as Damien took his and her cup to place on the bedside table. He had a cheshire smile on his face as he brought his hand to her shoulder for her to lay down, he held himself over her as a few strands of hair drooped down. Peach smiled and brought her hands to his cheek, taking in the slightly overgrown beard.

“Now we’ve got a few minutes before the morning really starts.”

“What are you going to do about it, Nazario?”

“I’m going to have my way with you.”

“Think you can be quick about it, old man?”

Damien smirked as he slotted himself in between Peach’s legs as the hair on her legs tickled Damien’s waist. Damien loved Peach’s body hair, the way it would brush against the back of his thighs when she’d wrap her legs around his waist, it would send chills through his body. Peach is really his. Before he could lean in to kiss her, the door opened and small footsteps thumped in the room. Followed by high pitched squeals, tiny bodies jumped on the bed, latching onto Damien and Peach.

Small round faces and bright eyes as a boy and girl jumped with unbelievable hyperness. Damien and Peach’s kids: Sofía and Gael. Both were seven and six years of age, they had Damien’s looks but Peach’s excitable personality. Damien rolled off of Peach and sat up on the bed, taking his daughter into his arms and Peach took Gael into hers. Damien turned to Peach and raised an eyebrow at her, as if blaming her for their kids interrupting their moment.

She rolled her eyes and brought Gael close, kissing his forehead and cheeks. He repeated many ‘I love yous’ and ‘Mummys’ while Sofía watched her dad with curiosity. She had her excitable moments but at this current moment, she was just like her dad. Perceptive and clever as she spoke up in spanish.

“Papa, qué hacías?” Dad, what were you doing?

Damien glanced nervously from his daughter to Peach, who watched the both of them with amusement.

“Nada, Princesa.” Nothing, Princess.

Peach stood up from the bed and arched her back, stretching the knots made in her sleep. She got both her kids to go out the room and told them to get dressed so that they could go to school. Damien watched his love care so deeply and once the kids went to the other room, Peach stood in the doorway of their bedroom. Their kids are the best thing that has ever happened to him and he could never dream about anyone else. Damien got up to Peach and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest.

“I wanna dance with you right now.” Peach laughed her sweet laugh as she swayed along with Damien. “I love you and I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old.”

“I think that’s already starting to happen. I can see a little grey in your beard.”

At that she rubbed her palm over his cheek, fingers brushing against his lip. Damien opened his mouth and took a bite at her finger before placing a soft kiss and nuzzling his head into her shoulder. She was the one for him, her soft smile and bright eyes gave light to Damien’s life. He was so glad to bare his soul to her.

~~~~~~

“NO!”

It was too late as Damien pushed against the restraining hold of Hayden. Harley had Peach in his grasp and he pressed his fingers deep in her neck, a loud crunch of bones echoed in the room. They were back at EROS and just as they were about to break free and blow the facility up, Cecile had activated the hive mind control which took over the minds of all the matches. Hayden included. Damien felt his heart smash to pieces and time moved slowly, as Peach’s round body fell to the ground. There were no emotions for Damien to express the scene in front of him as he stared at Peach. Her bright hue was gone and replaced by a grey sickening colour and death claimed her bright lively soul. The love of his life was gone right before him, he closed his eyes to purge the uncomfortable thoughts of Peach.

~~~~~~

Damien opened his eyes to see himself in a clear tiled room, not the EROS facility or at home with Peach. Soon he heard the loud taps of heels and found the devil in front him. A smartly dressed woman with piercing green eyes and angry red hair: Cecile Contreras. She looked down at Damien with a sickening smile and turned her face forward to the screen behind Damien.

“Response is good. Up the dosage and add twenty milligrams of delysid. You’re doing very good, Damien. We’re close to creating the perfect match.”

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 18/?

University AU: “Negative Space”

[ok so, self projection is a bitch, but I am petty to myself on a regular basis so it’s ok]

[title is from the Japanese concept “ma”, which Wikipedia describes as:

“a Japanese word which can be roughly translated as ‘gap’, ‘space’, ‘pause’ or ‘the space between two structural parts.’ In traditional Japanese arts and culture, ma is more carefully defined as the suggestion of an interval. It is best described as a consciousness of a sense of place, with the ‘intervals’ suggested often being more than simple gaps, instead focusing on the intention of a negative space in an art piece.

Ma is not necessarily an art concept created by compositional elements, such as the literal existence of a negative space. Instead, the intention is often to create the perception of an interval in the viewer experiencing the elements forming an art piece, making maless reliant on the existence of a gap, and more closely related to the perceived experience of a gap.

Ma has also been described as ‘an emptiness full of possibilities, like a promise yet to be fulfilled’, and as ‘the silence between the notes which make the music’.”

Fun fact: “ma” also means “but” in Italian, which is what usually follows whatever intrusive thought may plague my mind. Eg: “I may be useless now, BUT just you wait until I get some dopamine to get me through this shitty times.”]

*

Wei Ying never asked for much in his life. He’s content with cleaning classrooms and toilets and nobody can beat him at wiping the marble floors if he works hard enough. Granny Wen, his supervisor, is slightly impressed with his ability to make the wood shine for ages to come. His nephew Jin Ling sometimes comes to check on him when he’s done with senior classes or cram school in the evening, and together they sit down and listen to whatever his older friends in music production came up with during the day. Jiang Cheng occasionally would ask him to keep him company while he grades papers and they bitch about ZiXuan and his inability to dote on their sister. The cafeteria ladies are always nice to him and they give him extra congee because they worry for his questionable consumption of spice products.

He’s fine, really.

So why can’t he stop wandering over to the science building these days? Looking for a clean board to use, for an equation to finally solve? Even if in the end he just takes the chalk in hand and simply stares down at the inky surface in front of him, unable to write. His mind working on a software too advanced for the hardware that constitutes his brain.

Thirteen years. It has been already thirteen years and yet it feels like yesterday, or like it never happened at all. Like it has yet to be. Time blindness is a bitch to deal with, yet dyscalculia and ADHD makes a joke out of you when you love math on a visceral level... but you burned too bright too fast and now you function on no data and with an even shittier signal. Having a burnout at 23 should have taught him humility instead of pride, but Wei Ying has always worked out of spite and certain habits are difficult to forget.

Couldn’t put the number in the right order, switching digits left and right since he was young? Fine. Numbers were concepts anyway, entire civilizations working their magic without even knowing what “zero” stood for. A brain steaming with a million ideas per second? Good. New connections brimming with ideas he could use to better the world.

It worked fine until he let himself down. Until he became a useless empty lighter, a wet match tossed out, carbon monoxide in the air.

Dropped out before finishing his very ambitious, highly dangerous for his psyche, thesis project. Aunt Yu never forgave him for that, not after paying for his advanced classes, not after trusting Uncle Jiang and supporting him despite his many flaws. What good is being first of your class every year, poster child of a teaching system done right, graduating bachelor at 21, if you can’t finish your master at 23 and get your PhD at 25 and start teaching by 27 and drive yourself insane in the process?

Wei Ying dropped out and didn’t finish his master, didn’t enroll in the teaching program, and let everyone down. His Uncle and Aunt looking down on him, whether out of pity or shame. Jiang Cheng may have been the one leaving him behind, but he used to be the one saying “you should have tried harder”. YanLi worrying over him when she should have focused on her career first. Jin Ling growing up with stories of his uncle “not being worth the money put into his education”, taught to not disappoint and make his family proud. The Jin side, that is.

And now the kid comes crawling in defeat to him instead of Jiang Cheng after bombing a test in high school. And they chat of what he would like to do and how much he likes sports and how much he despises the idea of getting a scholarship for that and being called stupid or something by his classmates. And he cries when he thinks Wei Ying cannot see him as he leaves the campus late at night.

Wei Ying didn’t even want to solve that impossible theorem he fixated on in his early twenties. His thesis project was inconsequential in the great scheme of things and his professor only wanted him to be his one trick pony in the end. No. Wei Ying wanted to teach math in elementary school, hell... even in kindergarten. He wanted to change the approach to the subject. Because numbers cannot be taught like language is and there are many ways to teach how to sum up digits and divide quantities and there are no rules on how to make sense of space either.

But how can he teach when even time eludes his senses?

Something that nobody can define, but certainly most perceive as linear... but not him. Not since his brain fried up in his attempt to function like a normal human being.

After thirteen years nothing has changed.

Until one day he hears something else aside from his usual intrusive thoughts and burdensome memories. A melody so quiet he almost mistakes it for the wind, coming from the music building.

He walks slowly, night surrounding him like the embrace of a friend as he makes his way to the traditional musical instruments room. The one where Jin Ling’s friends meet sometimes as they wait for the younger boy to join them. Wei Ying holds his breath as he spies through the gap of the door left ajar, neon light slicing his face like moonbeams as he peeks in and recognizes Jin Ling’s friends and another figure sitting on the ground, guqin on their knees.

But before he can lean in and breathe in the vibrant sounds all around, the door opens and music theory Professor Lan finds Wei Ying clutching his mop for dear life.

They said the man could see colors within the notes, that he despises language outside of his class or office and that only his brother, the history of art TA, could convince him to talk every now and then.

If numbers were created to measure space, Wei Ying firmly believed music had been invented to make sense of time and count its seconds in rhythm and notes, pauses and beats. Yet, time seems to stretch to a stop as the janitor focuses all of his attention on professor Lan’s stern face and his heart quickens its pace.

Wei Ying takes a rushed breath and dives right in with a weird sense of hope pumping in his veins. A small, timid voice whispering that life is not made to be atoned, but to move on and grow.

One step at a time.

“I’m Wei Ying, Professor Lan. May I listen while you play?”

Yes, maybe it will be enough just to let time flow at its pace.

Whatever rhythm that may be.

*

[some hcs down below]

WWX does not magically solve the math theorem. he may or may not help kids figure out how to use numbers on the long run tho. no, he will still work as a janitor and there’s nothing wrong with that.

yes, LWJ is autistic and stimms and finds WWX’s honesty soothing. yes, you can add your hcs on the matter. he has synesthesia, but more on the grapheme-color side of the deal than anything else and he sees certain letters/numbers/notes in different colors. people think he can see colors in music, but they misunderstood and thought he could recognize different hues while listening to music instead of reading it.

JC has grown since his uni years and doesn’t resent WWX anymore. he teaches astrophysics as a TA and doesn’t pressure his brother to pick his studies up anymore. WWX has mixed feelings about this: he feels he’s a lost cause, to the point not even his brother spurs him to best himself anymore, but he is grateful for the patience anyway.

LXC is the official LWJ translator of the campus along with their cousins SiZhui and JinGyi. he bonds with WWX and JC over how tired they are, seldom staring at flies roaming above them in the cafeteria bc none of them can even move. he lives on caffeine and regrets, but he’s getting better as he develops a love for his plant babies and tries to not let them die on a daily basis.

Wen Ning and Wen Qing are little overachievers and adrenaline junkies, hence their competitive streak on their way to their third master degree just for funsies. they scare people with how driven they are, but the juniors love them.

NMJ is the one to go to if you need to get away with murder, but JGY will actually be the one helping you dispose of the body. the fact that they both work in criminal law is somewhat both reassuring and disquieting. they hate each other and yet cannot stop hang out, they are close to 40 and need the rivalry to keep going anyway. nothing beats a good nemesis. not even sex. maybe.

NHS has failed his entrance exam to become a nurse too many times to count, but he is determined to see the end of it. even if he could potentially work in the family business, but he doesn’t know anything about managing an empire of bricks and he doesn’t care. if NMJ could run away, well, so can he.

MianMian is Wei Ying’s bestie and has the biggest crush on JGY’s sister A-Su the kindergarten teacher, but since they are childhood besties she doesn’t know how to approach her. she is Jin Ling’s idol and a certified boxer and refers to herself as a useless bisexual. Wei Ying boxes with her sometimes, she always win.

YanLi is an equestrian mum, but in the best way possible: she coaches children for shows and teaches them horses should be loved and feared equally and that if you want to shoot arrows from a running horse you should always, ALWAYS let go of the stirrups the moment the beast gets too unhinged to ride. JC fears her, WWX is only glad she didn’t train police dogs for a living.

ZiXuan actually loves his wife, but WWX and JC question his career choices and the fact that he’s a retired lawyer spending his family fortune while he’s a stay-at-home dad and does all the housework. WWX and JC believe he should give their sister a better life and work his ass off to deserve her, but he does make amazing rice cakes and keeps up with Jin Ling’s studies and is very supportive of his dreams.

A-Qing and Song Lan are siblings and sometimes bring JC food from the campus cafeteria where they both work at, while Xiao XingChen and his carer Xue Yang work with LXC for a project on accessibility for visually impaired visitors of the local museum. JC and LXC work to make Song Lan and Xiao XingChen fall for each other, but the youngsters are too protective to let them play matchmaker so easily.

[this is all for now. please, if you want, add your own headcanons!]

[ask-de-writer]

IMMORTALITY? A Grumpy Goat *tail* (Part 2 of 3) : MLP Fan Fiction

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IMMORTALITY?

A Grumpy Goat *tail* (Part 2 of 3)

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

© 2022 by Glen Ten-Eyck

7865 words

All  rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or  to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express  written consent of the author.

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Users  of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may  reblog the story. They may use the characters or original characters in  my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical  compositions. I will allow those who do commission art works to charge  for their images.

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I will give Sawnax this.  He stopped.  He thought.  “I do get the immortality?  No tricks?”

I sighed in exasperation.  “Yes. You get what is specified in the contract.  You will live the span stated.  Your mind will stay sharp.  You will be able to eat what you want and enjoy what you wish within the ability of your body to perform.”

Sawnax nodded sourly.  “Expected more, you know.  Dark deals and magical diagrams.  Special candles and all of that stuff.”

I agreed, “Lots of my customers do.  The repeat customers know what to expect.  If you WANT that stuff, showmanship is twenty bits plus expenses.”

“I ain't payin' no more.  Be careful with that stuff until my contract is took care of.  Then screw up all you want!”  With that cheerful parting shot, Sawnax took off down the trail.

The Litch King and Coalsmoke came out of the back chamber.

The Litch King said cheerfully, “I did overhear what you said about me, Grumpy!”

As we all three snickered, Coalsmoke chuckled, “He was right though.  Calling you up can be dangerous.  Just look at poor Grumpy.  You did that to him over a simple mistake that was not even his fault.”

I finished my giggle fit and handed the Litch King a copy of Sawnax's contract.  He flipped right past the cover page.  He knows that boiler plate by heart.  As he started to read, his fleshless skull began to show, first amusement, then hilarity.

He put down the papers to hold his ribs as he rolled on the cave floor, laughing.  “He really signed THAT!? Oh, my!  We are going to have so much fun!”

I nodded happily.  “I know, Clarence.  He even insisted on most of it.  I can't wait to see what happens!”  

It is very little known, but the Litch King does have a first name.  He is Clarence.  Try to summon him by it and he WILL destroy you.  His name is reserved for his few friends.

Coalsmoke retrieved the document from the cave floor.  And began her own giggle fit.  She settled to serious first.  “You know, Grumpy, I am glad that I took the time to talk to you and ask your advice before we did anything.

“It has been a tremendous help.”

Still chuckling, I asked, “Glad to hear it, Coalsmoke.  You are one of the few ponies welcome in my cave.  Not simply because you are lovely, either.  You are among the few who have treated me with respect.  I appreciate that.

“By the Bye, how is husband number six doing?”

Sobered only a little, she replied, “He was not feeling well yesterday.  Wheezing a bit.  They put him in Ponyville General for overnight observation.”

I asked with casual interest, “Did you break out the Widow's hats, veils and scarves yet?”

Seriously, Coalsmoke replied, “No, Grumpy.  I never do that.  Only after I get the news of one passing away do I get out mourning things.”

Clarence nodded sagely.  “That is wise, Coalsmoke, my dear.  You go about your chosen way of life with great professionalism.”

She nodded courteously, one pro accepting the compliment of another.

I just asked, “Back to Daring Do and the Compass of Discord or shall we put our heads together on the Sawnax thing?”

Clarence said firmly, “Leave that to me.  I promise that you will find it amusing.  Reading for fun is not a common thing for me.  Daring Do it is.”

Coalsmoke agreed, so we went back out into the afternoon sun and I reopened the book.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet except for my reading.  I really like the Daring Do stories and can get a bit carried away by her adventures!  So do my friends! Reading is fun!  Reading with friends is even more so!

The next morning as I was sweeping the front ledge, I saw a pus green pony on the trail.  One that I knew.  A lawyer.  Absolutely one whose soul already belonged to Clarence.  I leaned in my doorway, already glamored to a rotting, maggot infested zombie.  With Mortimer there was no point in wasting time with courtesy.

He stepped onto my nice clean ledge, fouling it with his mere presence.  “Grumpeter Goat, I represent Sawnax, who is demanding his full refund plus indemnity.”

I replied acidly, “Mortimer Mollycoddle, I represent myself and I have just one question.  Is Sawnax alive and is his mind clear?”

Drawing himself up, Mortimer replied haughtily, “He could hardly make the demand if he was not.”

“Then Claim refused.  His contract specifies that he will live.  It specifies that his mind shall remain intact.  It specifies that he shall be able to enjoy those things and activities that he was at the time of signing.”

Frowning, his lip curled, Mortimer retorted, “He got a broken hind leg!  That violates the agreement!”

Mildly, because I now knew the situation, I replied, “How did he break it?”

“Sawnax used to be a steeple chase champion.  He tried to run a steeple chase and fell!  By his understanding of the contract, he should have been able to recapture his old crown.”

“Wrong.  As ALWAYS, Mortimer. He might have “understood” that but it is NOT what he signed!  He was to be able to do and enjoy WHAT HE ALREADY COULD AT SIGNING. Trying to do something outside of his abilities at signing is not covered.”

I gave him my best, maggot leaking smile as I inquired, “Do you really want to take this farrago of nonsense before Judge Coldheart?  I would love to!”

“But my client is in great pain and confined to a mobility cart!”

“Please learn to read, Mortician.”  (Mortimer hates that nickname.)  I lounged in the door and pointed out, “Neither pain or suffering is covered in any way.

“Speaking of ways, the path to Failure and Ponyville is right there.  Please leave.”  I pointed to the path.

I went inside to get a mop and bucket.  I was still scrubbing compulsively at the portion of the ledge where Mortimer had been, when far more welcome company arrived.

Coalsmoke, properly dressed for mourning, in a black hat, veil and shawl, stepped onto my ledge.  I took one look and asked, “What did he die of?”

Whistling softly but cheerfully for a moment, Coalsmoke replied, “Doctor's error.  He was allergic to some common antibiotics.  They administered the correct antibiotic.  The doctor himself swabbed the injection site and administered the antibiotic.”

I really perked up my non-existent ears.  “This must be good.  If it was the right antibiotic, what happened?”

Grinning like a bandit finding a cache of diamonds, Coalsmoke replied, “It was the swab!  He cleaned the site with an antibiotic swab!”

Clarence stuck his skull around the door and said, “I would have expected you to be tied up with insurance matters for the whole day!”

Coalsmoke did a little skippy-happy dance.  “When the Ponyville General Horspital's agent saw the label of the swab and the chart cover with its warning label he caved on the spot!  He called my insurance agent and I got my whole settlement package!  Double indemnity!”

Clarence nodded vigorously, his long horn catching flashes of sunlight as he did.  “Good!  Now, let's see, Daring Do was just about to confront the Compass Bearer ~ ~”  He handed me the book.

As we were settling in to begin the reading circle, Coalsmoke asked, “I met Mortician Mollycoddle while I was on the way up.  What was that about?”

I grinned and realized that I was still wearing the glamor that I had set for Mort's visit.  I was about to change it when Coalsmoke stopped me.  “Don't change it, Grumpy.  It's kind of cute.”

I told them about Mort's visit and Sawnx's leg.

Absolutely radiating innocence, Clarence observed, “You will never guess who is using a mobility cart that was last used by a victim of severe running boils.  It is an absolute mystery how it was improperly cleaned.”

Giggling fit to burst, I found our place.  Reading a well written story together with good friends is an excellent way to pass the time.

The next day, Coalsmoke was absent.  That was expected.  She had a funeral to attend.  That of her latest and now late husband.

Neither Clarence or I wanted to read until she could get free to be here.  Our Daring Do book was almost at the end of the adventure and we did not want her to miss it.

A pony in white robes with a golden stole and funny tall hat was toiling up the trail.  Clarence absolutely lit up with delight.  “A Celestian High Priest!  I haven't been exorcised in ages!  This should be more fun than almost anything!”

I did brighten up.  Clarence was right.  Not even Celestia likes the Celestian Church!  She publishes regular articles and holds news conferences to denounce them.  You would think that being denounced by the very one that they claim to worship would finish them.  If you think so, you don't know ponies very well.

The priest stopped short at the sight before him as he came to my ledge.  I had adopted the maggoty zombie glamor and Clarence just stayed himself, a skeletal alicorn, the Litch King.  

High Priest Hortimer drew himself up and dipped an aspergil into a container of blessed water.  He cast a sprinkle of the water at us.  I just let him.  The stuff is harmless.

He lit a Holy Candle and took out his book of Holy Truth.  He began to intone parts of the text, chiming a gold looking bell as he finished each part.  He ended by demanding, “IN CELESTIA'S HOLY NAME, BEGONE, SPIRITS OF EVIL!”

The Litch King looked sadly at me and said, “Oh dear.  We have been exorcised, Grumpy.  Whatever shall we do?  Somehow I don't feel like leaving.”

I looked back at him.  “I know what you mean, your Majesty.  I was hoping for a real exorcism. Something with some muscle to it, not that toothless, weak jawed thing.  It wasn't strong enough to suck.”

I invited, “Hortimer, old pony, quit trying that worthless religious garbage and come to the point of your visit.”

Exasperated, Hortimer drew himself up to his full height and stared down his nose at me. “Brother Sawnax has not only a broken leg, necessitating a mobility cart, he has begun to develop vile boils all over his rump!  You must remove the curse at once.”

I looked blankly at High Priest Hortimer.  “I could not do that if I wanted to!  You yourself, using pure quotations from the Holy Truth of Celestia, have proved that I cannot do any such thing as cast an evil spell or lift one. It is all lies and deceptions.  You said so yourself.

“Besides that, I did no such curse at all.  Sawnax and I have a contract.  I will not and have not violated it.”

I, of course, failed to mention entirely that Sawnax's comfort was not covered in the contract. Somehow, I also forgot to mention that Clarence HAD messed with Sawnax and might do more yet.  Best place to hide some things is in plain sight.  And the Litch King was right there, bones and all. Being studiously ignored by the High Priest.

Hortimer seemed to think that Clarence was a prop or an illusion.  That had amusing possibilities. Hortimer beat me to it.

The High Priest stepped boldly forward, now that the ledge was exorcised, and tapped Clarence, the very real Litch King, on the horn.  Clarence, hissing like a thousand damned snakes in a boiling kettle and unable to die, snapped at Hortimer's extended forehoof and slapped him with a bony wing.

The impact knocked the High Priest off his feet, his Miter of Office flying from his head, revealing Hortimer's bald spot.  His forelock wig was comically dangling from his horn about half way up.  His priestly robe had scorched tooth marks in the foreleg.

Clarence said, in a voice like an avalanche of stones hitting a frozen lake, “You may thank your host, Grumpy Goat, that I have not violated his hospitality by destroying you.”

The fleshless alicorn skull grinned as he added, “That protection does not extend beyond his front ledge.  However, as a favor to HIM, I will do no thing to you.  This time.”

Whistling tunelessly, I took note of the permission to really mess with Hortimer.  Me NOT being him and all.

I stuck in a hoof, though.  “Low Priest, ol pony, I do have a contract with Sawnax, as I mentioned. As a sign of my good faith in this, I am going to tell you how to deal with his present problem.  It really was Sawnax's own fault that he broke his leg.  It has to heal and it will, with time.  

“The boils are not a curse. They are the result of simple rotten housekeeping at Ponyville General.  The last user of the mobility cart had the boils and it was not properly cleaned.  The boils all have to be lanced, drained, cleaned and dressed.  The mobility cart just needs proper cleaning. That's it.  No curse from me at all.

“Now take your funny hat, silly wig and the rest.  Go.  While you still can.”

He got.

Only a little later, who should come skipping up the trail but Coalsmoke.  Still properly attired for mourning but wearing the biggest smile.  She greeted us with a cheery, “Hi, Grumpy!  How are you, Clarence?  Guess what happened at the funeral today!  We had barely planted him and who should show but the doctor and HIS insurance agent!  They had a really generous offer for an out of court malpractice and no publicity agreement!”

She stopped, looked at our expressions and grinned hugely.  “Give, guys.  I passed Hortimer on the way up and he only called me a whorse!  You really got to him somehow.”

I had to grin.  “Clarence gave me permission to play all that I want to with Hortimer.  I don't think that he has figured it out yet.  He will, soon enough.”

Clarence, faking disappointment horribly, said, “Grumpy told on the boils thing.  He will be all healed at no charge to him, courtesy of Ponyville General.” Brightening, he went on, “Of course, lancing and draining that many boils will hurt like ~ ~ well, my place!”

I added, “Sawnax loves to sue ponies.  He is having a Mobility Cart ramp installed at the Celestian church.  He is cutting a corner, like always.  It is just a little steep because that is cheaper.”

Clarence added thoughtfully, “Did you know that a really big swarm of hornets has just nested in the bell tower of the Celestian church?  I think that they might find out all about it at next Celesday service, when they ring the noon bell.”

He looked expectantly at me.  I filled in, “Hortimer will not get a single sting in the panic. Can't say the same for Sawnax.  You promised not to do anything to Hortimer this time.  

“Pity about all of that poison oak and poison ivy that they still have been too cheap to pay me to clear up for them.”

Grinning so widely that I was afraid that her head would fall off, Coalsmoke handed me our book and said, “Daring Do was just about to escape with the Compass of Discord.  I think that we have light enough to finish up today!”

Coalsmoke was right.  The sun was setting in a welter of gold, purple and reds as we came to the end. Appropriate.  End of the book, end of the day.

Coalsmoke was sniffling at the tragic death of Withers, whose valiant self sacrifice allowed Daring Do to get away with the priceless Compass of Discord.

Clarence was chortling at the whole gory scene as the last of the Discordians were defeated.

I, personally, being more than a little on the greedy side, was delighted that the treasure was in proper hooves, regardless.

That is what is so great about the Daring Do tales.  There is something for almost every taste to take away and feel good about.

The next few days, there was relative peace at my cave.  I had a few little 100 bit contracts for small things.  I refused a small gang of burglars who wanted me to make them invisible by night so that they could ply their trade in safety.

The list of things that I don't like is pretty long but those who rob or steal are right at the top of the list.

I was surprised when Clarence, whose memory goes back to creation, literally, suggested that we tip off Romaine, the Ponyville Prancer roving reporter about the Celestian church for Celesday (SUNday to anypony else) service.  He remembered her from Nightmare Night at Caramel Treat's Sweets and rather liked her.*(for details, read Grumpy Goat's Nightmare Night!)*  I know that he has slipped her several stories since then.

Coalsmoke brought us the SUNday late special edition detailing the Celestian church disaster!  

TO BE CONTINUED

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[fulcrum-agent]

Dysphoria

I’m going to talk about some things that I need to get out there a bit more than I generally do. So today, I’m going to discuss my gender identity, gender dysphoria, and what it’s doing to me emotionally and mentally. Before I end up falling into a repeat of March.

People on both sides of the fence in regards to gender and sexuality (meaning both the LGBTQ+ community and the “straights”/”cis” world) aren’t going to like everything I’m about to say here. But the past few days and weeks, I’ve been feeling the same kind of horrible pressure I had largely freed myself from a year ago, some of it is almost as oppressive as when I was a teenager.

It’s not just going to be anecdotal information, not just “feels” - I involve science in everything.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why the LGBTQ+ community can get upset about the use of science with gender identity and sexuality. A lot of really bad science has been done in an attempt at erasure and vilification. But that shouldn’t lead to discounting the good science that is starting to make its way into the fore.

All that out of the way, let’s get started.

Taking a trip in the Way Back Machine, when I was in utero, mum wasn’t keen on getting ultrasounds. It wasn’t something that was well covered by her insurance, and she had issues with the gel they use for them. So the doctors were more heavily relying on other methods to determine gender, and the few ultrasounds mum could afford weren’t very conclusive due to positioning. This was back in the late 70s/early 80s, and the tech wasn’t as good as it is now.

The vast majority of markers pointed towards the concept that I was a baby boy. The pregnancy and much of the social stuff surrounding it were treated like I was going to be a boy. There was a stupid amount of pastel blue involved.

As it turned out, not only were their predicted due dates off dramatically (an entirely separate story there), but physically, I was a female baby; it was so expected that I’d be male, they had no female names handy, so they used the name of the type of piano they bought for me (spoilers: I’ve always hated my birth name because of this).

Essentially, I’ve had gender issues since birth. One of my doctors expects that I’ve had PCOS nearly my entire life, possibly even before puberty, since my testosterone levels even in utero were higher than they should be.

While I personally had almost 0 concepts of gender and the societal bullshit around till around puberty, it still affected me all the damn time.

I was almost immediately labelled a tomboy, because I was physically active - climbing trees, playing sports, wanting to do martial arts, and I also liked things like GI Joe and He-man while having an obsession with dinosaurs and science. However, people who viewed me as a tomboy would get confused by the fact that I also liked dance, music, My Little Pony (this was before bronies), and dolls like Jem and Barbie.

Back at the dawn of the 80s, things were rather black and white when it came to gender norms.

Despite the people around me having issues with my “gender weirdness”, I was perfectly fine till around 11, when puberty started.

Much to my distress, my body became extremely feminine. Before I was even 12, I was more than an A cup, and I started getting curvy hips and rear. For some reason, I really just did not like the way my body was starting to look, yet I had tonnes of people telling me how “lucky” I was, and how I should dress to compliment my form.

I also was absofuckinglutely not okay with menstruation. It was beyond the typical uneasiness about this new thing, about learning how to manage it - there was visceral hate I didn’t understand. It didn’t help that having my period made me ill, something that only got worse and worse as I got older. Between the dysphoria related anxiety/depression and the actual physical problems, I wanted nothing to do with menstruation and decided I wanted a hysterectomy even before I had my first procreation systems problems. I also realised before I was out of high school that I really wanted a breast reduction; increasing back and shoulder problems were what I thought the root of it was, but I realise now I actually just wanted a more androgynous body, even back then.

Throughout part of junior high, and all of high school, my friends who were female were always being pushy about making me dress like a girl, and to weaponise the body I was “so lucky to have”. At the start of junior high, I dressed like a goth skater boy - in part because I was slowly building a gothic wardrobe, and in part cus men's clothes were just super comfortable. And cheaper - most of the stuff I was buying with saved lunch money, so buying boy’s/men’s clothes was also something of a financial strategy.

Despite often feeling awkward about my body, by the time high school landed, I had just given in to the pressure. I dressed like a little goth princess, I wore push-up bras (even though I was already a D cup at that point), most everything I wore either accentuated my breasts by being tight or super low cut. On one level, fashion was always fun for me, I nearly became a fashion designer before realising how horrid that industry is, so the putting together outfits and such was fun - it was when I was actually wearing them that I could feel super awkward.

Once I moved from Salt Lake to San Diego, I was able to ditch a lot of that. No one knew who I was, I didn’t know anyone else, and SoCal was a lot more chill about things than Utah could ever hope to be. I still would sometimes dress the goth princess, but my default style swerved back towards skater/raver in cuts. I wore rave pants and tank tops with men’s graphic button downs.

While I was in San Diego, I met a transman and transwoman who were both chill with explaining gender transitions to me. I suspected someone I knew in SLC was along those lines (I was wrong, they were intersexed, and parents made terrible decisions for them). While I was aware that I didn’t want to transition entirely to being male, I knew there was something along those lines that I needed. Sadly, I didn’t meet any non-binary people, and no one really ever brought up the concept to me while I was in SoCal.

About ten years ago, after I had gotten sick and had to move back in with my mum, on the Eastern Seaboard, I met an incredibly knowledgeable transwoman who pointed out to me that androgyny isn’t just an art style but also was gender. She was the first to explain to me what being non-binary was the full spectrum of non-binary - from being gender fluid to androgyne to flat non-binary.

For once in my life, I felt normal as far as gender was concerned. I wasn’t some weird tomboy, I didn’t have to conform to what I’d been told to while growing up, I wasn’t weird for having certain previously odd dreams. It all made sense.

At this point, I’d already done a lot of research on what all transgender, the emerging science behind it, the process of transitioning, chest binding. But at that point, I did a lot more research into non-binary aspects of gender; there’s not nearly as much as there is on MtF/FtM transgenders, but there was a fair bit.

Since I was having problems with depoprovera actually helping with the PCOS and nixing menstruation, I decided that I wanted to do low dose HRT. It took a lot to get to a facility to do so, but I managed to start that in 2015. I was also hoping that if I was right about my hunch, that a number of other medical issues I have could be affected for the better. There’s a lot of emerging science pointing to the fact that transfolk have chemical imbalances - their chemical make up doesn’t really match that of their birth gender; about how HRT helps move their different hormonal chemicals to the range their body actually needs; how many times transfolk feel better physically once their HRT reaches stable levels, and how often times being on HRT reduces or eliminates different chronic medical issues.

Locally, there was no facility that could manage HRT. Even with the hard science in my hand, local doctors couldn’t wrap their heads around it, so I couldn’t even “cheat” and have a mainstream endocrinologist manage it for me. Most didn’t even want to look at the science. I still have to go to Philadelphia for HRT, and half the science I take with me is still relatively new to the Mazzoni Centre.

Getting HRT was the lesser struggle. Although I had started addressing the need for a breast reduction clear back in 2012, insurance coverage in general on reductions is trash. A certain amount of mass has to be removed for them to cover it, which often times cannot be accurately gauged before the surgery; much of the time, a person needing a reduction would go under, get mass removed, only for it to be too little for insurance coverage, leaving them with a $7,000 bill.

The only surefire way to have them cover it entirely for almost the entire decade I was working on this was a full mastectomy, whether or not it was related to cancer. For a while, I was very on the fence about a full mastectomy, because I didn’t want to transition to being male - I wanted a body that was just a hell of a lot more boyish than mine’s been since puberty.

Eventually, I came to be at peace with the idea of this, thanks to people like the fabulous Elliott Alexzander, who promote non-binary fashion and are also male-bodied. Seeing someone who had absolutely no breasts rock women’s fashion helped immensely.

I did finally luck out, however. By the time I was okay with the concept of having to have a full mastectomy to get insurance to cover the surgery, a WPATH certified surgeon had moved into the area. With his help, I was able to get what he termed a hybrid top surgery, 100% covered by my insurance, due to gender dysphoria.

While recovery was rough, as it became painfully apparent that the boyfriend who lived with me at the time had massive issues with all of it, despite having been warned back in 2013 that I was going to be doing all of this. He’d always been lowkey abusive, often in ways that evaded mum seeing him be so, but that escalated rapidly after the surgery, to the point where even mum could see it; I had an HRT check up not long after the surgery, and the nurse who roomed me asked if I was okay, or if I needed help - the abuse had become that apparent, and constant. (Yes, the relationship was terminated, though it took 3 or 4 more months for him to find a place and move out.)

For most of the time since the top surgery, I’ve not had my dysphoria trigger all that much; at most, I have a lowkey fear of some crazy, conservative, Christian redneck here is going to decide they don’t like how I look, and try beating me up - or worse. This has already happened once since the surgery: some loon was sitting on his porch at like 2 AM, and I was out on a walk; I had my headphones in, and music on, so I couldn’t hear everything he said, but caught something about how I was a vile dyke, and he started coming down off his porch at me - I ended up just looking at him as if he were less than a gnat, while continuing to walk, and he backed off. The power of looking like you don’t give any fucks.

Recently, I’ve been having more and more dysphoria, due to people just not getting that I as a person am non-binary. I have pronoun preferences. Ignoring them isn’t okay. I actually have to have my characters all have small breasts still because I get the same sense of dysphoria I’ve had for my entire life when they’re much past an A cup. I’m not going to wear a dress when I don’t want to, and I’m not going to wear an a-shirt/muscle shirt when I don’t want to. I’m not going to forgo mixing and matching men and women’s clothes for someone else’s comfort.

Generally, I’m not one to get aggressive about this stuff, because I don’t believe that aggression helps the LGBTQ+ community (or any community) considering its aggression that creates the situations we find ourselves in right now. I’m more about educating someone politely, giving them time to adjust, to remember that for me as a person, it’s They (or Xe) and not She. Let those who know me offline adjust to the fact that no, you can’t use my birth name, you have to use the name that I go by (even though that’s about as variable as David Bowie during his early musical career). You can prefer people with more curves, but you can’t tell me that I can’t be okay when you want me to be curvier, in a game or out.

Initial microaggressions are fine. Persistent ones after the fact aren’t.

If I ask you to stop doing something because it’s causing dysphoria, you don’t get to shrug it off, and just continue to do it. You don’t get to ignore the fact that what you’re doing is harmful to me, just because opening your eyes to who I actually am is inconvenient to your current world order. You don’t get to invalidate me as a person because you think your religious doctrine is against who and what I am (spoilers: nearly every religion on the planet preaches love as its highest law - and doing any of this shit to anyone violates that tenant of your faith).

You don’t have to entirely understand the why of all this. You don’t have to be savvy on all the different points on the gender spectrum. You don’t have to know the science behind it.

What you have to understand is that your actions are harmful and that if you want to be a better person, you have to stop those harmful actions. Not just because they’re harmful to me, not just because you care about me, but to just be a better person overall - to avoid doing this to anyone and everyone.

If that’s asking too much, well:

EDIT: It occurs to me that I should probably mention that it doesn’t bother me when people refer to my characters by their gendered pronouns. Ashe, Claire, Fia, and Vaylin can be referenced by she/her while Rel, Saber, and Kym’a can be referenced as he/him. Vieno will probably lean more towards they/them. The only one it’s a hard must be they/them with is Dwynd, because when I made her, it was an outlet for being completely out of the non-binary closet when I couldn’t yet be RL.

[malivalcyas]

( lalisa manoban, cisfemale, she/her, 22. ) —  MALIVALAYA  SIRINAT,  better  known  to  the  media  as  LOKI  has  been  working  for  the  yōkai  for  around  FOUR  YEARS.  rumor  has  it,  she  can  be  impish  &  corporeal  but  also  caustic  &  machiavellian  which  is  why  she  makes  the  perfect  BURGLAR.

listen  i’ve  been  looking  for  a  good  thief  rp  probably  since  i  was  born  &  i’m  not  even  being  dramatic.  hi i’m  bliss  and  i’m  .....  so  heckin  excited  to  be  here  !   tbh  this  is  the  first  kpop  fc  i’ve  ever  played  but  i  was  vulnerable  and  a  friend  pushed  me  off  the  ledge  into  the  deep  abyss  that  is  youtube  &   ....  i  had  a  religious  experience  over  lisa  so  here  we  are.  alright  i’ll  put  a  bit  about  my  lil  gremilin  mali  under  the  cut  and  all  you  have  to  do  is  give  that  little  heart  down  there  some  love  &  i’ll  come  to  you  for  plots  !  heads  up  it  might  be  poopy  bc  i’m  surviving  solely  on  cold  medicine  &  i  just  took  another  shot  of  nyquil  .  so  i’m   gonna  try  &  knock  this  out  before  that  kicks  in  lol

mali is what we in the states like to call an unhappy little accident. her mother never really wanted to be a mother but shit happens when you party naked and lo and behold 9 months after her first missed period, mali popped out like a screaming little demon.

she wasn’t really cut out to be a mother and mali was nothing but an inconvenience to the plans she had laid for herself so mali was shipped off to live with her grandparents until her mother decided she had need of her.

she was raised in the circus. she started off doing the high flying arts like the trapeze and tightrope walking but is also a bit of a contortionist.

which was all fine and dandy until her grandparents died in a work related accident when she was 15. but it was all great bc her mom decided to pop back into her life at that precise time right ?? 

wrong

her mother started using her to help her run cons, lift wallets, all that great fun stuff. but it turned out mali was a natural at it.

they worked their way around europe, running one con or another which mostly involved mali’s mom grifting her way into a situation and mali being the one to lift the goods

she had a bit of a head for flinging herself off of buildings on cables and stuff like that. total adrenaline junkie. not really into the finesse of grifting but she could do it when need be. 

it was a great little system until her mom picked the wrong mark to play a long con on. nothing went wrong, per se, her mother still walked out with more money than she could shake a stick at but mali came out the real winner when she ran away with his most prized posession; his daughter. and also gained her freedom from her mother in the process

it was a fun filled year and honestly i should probably  change when she joined up with the yokai but i committed to 4 years and mama didn’t raise no quitter so we’re just going to pretend time is a little more liquid in this universe ksksks

they eventually split up and mali joined up with the yokai bc demons should always travel in packs and practice the use of the Buddy System.

why? don’t ask. she’s keeping it a secret. but rumor has it she lifted the wrong wallet from the wrong person and found herself in a spot of trouble that they’re helping her out of. 

code name loki bc honestly she’s such a little shit.

her mask looks something like this. somewhat simple so it doesn’t get in the way when she needs to move quick. doesn’t obstruct her vision. doesn’t cover much of her face which in her opinion is unremarkable aside from the scar that cuts through her right eyebrow which the mask manages to cover.

personality wise she’s such a smart ass. the sass is real with this one. 

physically she’s canon. but her hair varies between blonde and the wicked ash blue pony lisa sports in the kill this love vid bc UNF. shes got some tattoos! which i have yet to figure out the specifics on.

as for plots ..... just fuck me up thanks. i v much enjoy angst but also a good brotp.

[dustysculptures]

BronyCon Report 2018

With the last lingering bits of BronyCon still slithering in my system. I’m finally able to get back to business.

First off, I have less than a dozen Starlight Glimmer charms left from the con. I’m considering putting it up on my Etsy Store as the one & only item for sale this weekend. They will only be on sale for a week so be sure ‘em before they’re out~

Also, due to time constraints, I didn’t post an official 'Featured at Bronycon’ in time for the convention, so here it is posted above!

In case you missed it on my Twitter, here’s the Poniko () & Gari Adventures from Bronycon. (w/ a sketch of Limestone pie waking up): 

Let me start off by saying, thankyou thankyou thankyou to everyone who stopped by the booth & offered kind words to me. Even if I don’t seem like it, I’m forever & always a bundle of nerves & panic when it comes to BronyCon. There’s always so much to do & so many points of failure, it makes me go nuts for a couple weeks!

But all of that is laid to rest once the set goes up, the lights come on, and guests ushered in. We got prints & pins, sculptures & plushies. T-shirt designs that go as high as the ceiling.  Lets not forget the dakis. Oh god nvm lets forget those. Its a show! About adorable ponies! What’s not to like?

@ubros - Hotdiggitydang was it a blast meeting you! It was a year in the making as I’d skipped last year but I finally got to see you in your full European glory! We laughed, celebrated with pizza & oddities! Then you dumped 8 pounds of Swedish candy on me D: Wouldn’t trade it for the world! I WILL see you next year yes? You’d better come!!

@asksweetcream - Fancy seeing you here? (…) Moi? Oh nothing just seeing how many hugs I could get out from you~ (It was close to a dozen) (…)  Don’t tire yourself & Boiler3 out too much sweetie there’s so much more cons left to go ^^  

@earthsong9405 EEEEEEEE! Can you believe? 4 years its been since we shared that fateful booth? I’m sooo happy to see you there, flying solo too! Goodness! Next time we gotta do the aquarium or that Dick’s Last Resort! You’d get a kick outta it!

@dojerodesigns Listen. Forget what I said. I had a wonderful time with you & yours and would do it again in a heart beat. I’m very appreciative you thought to invite me to your shindig ^^

HoneySweetStudios - Honestly one of the sweeties & coolest booth neighbors I’ve had. Keeping each other company through the con lulls was a good way to keep up the spirit when the gates came flooding with patrons. Also, BEES?!?

@fisherpon - I wish you the bestest of luck on your trip to SEAsia~! I hope you enjoyed my sketch! it was done quick but Derpy is always my go to for that sort of thing ^3^

WandererD Gosh dang it man! I missed your panel & from what I hear, it sounds great. So glad I could take you to the new Shake Shack & I need to tell you about Land of the Lustrous & more Steven Universe! HUUUUUUUR! 

This is one of those moments where if you could rewind & do it again, I would do it & hang more with you. So much to talk & so little time. Why isn’t there a DVR for life yet?

@fleebites & RainyPaints - As some patron passed my booth, they had this gorgeous Queen Chrysalis print in their possession. It was love at first site: I had to have it. As it turns out, I had to have about half the posters from your booth as well. I was very happy to talk to you about Asian dialects & wish you the best of luck on your game developing venture! The art already looks beautiful, I know you can do it!

@askstalkerloo & @noodlefreak88 - I was finally able to get you that Stalkerloo that was meant to be yours oh so many years ago! Quest complete! I’m very excited for what you have planned for the future!

Cadmiumcrab -  Having the minister hold the Elements of Harmony book painted by you certainly adds that apropos touch to a brony wedding. I’d never thought to contribute to a wedding in such a manner. Hopefully see you around soon!

@joeyh3 & @deadparrot222 - Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by & chat for a spell. It does my soul well to see your faces every year & touch base with you guys. I’ll be seeing you next year right?

@ithry - I don’t know what psychic powers you possess to know I did sketch commissions but somehow you got two of them! Honestly, it was kinda cool to see you on the vendor side of things. I hope that’s been working out for you!

Graphic-Lee - Super cool meeting you to talk sculpting! I hope to hear more from you soon! Btw who was your booth mate? I believe it was Spirit but idk. Point me to them if you can!

@aleximusprime - One) Great to see you vending. Two) Hilarious to see all our meme merch sell out so fast! So glad you’re doing well~

Notable absentees: Chipperpony - I saw the name but the booth empty! I was so saaaad~! Maybe see you next year? Maybe?

@whitediamondsltd - There was a small bustle about where you were but upon hearing the info, I know you’re doing far more important things. Don’t let BronyCon distract you, you do what you need to.

BronyCon has always been a tentpole for dustysculptures. Being about half way through the year its a good gauge to see how I’m doing as a sculptor & how you guys are doing as well. There are also the milestones only achieved thanks to BronyCon: My first vendor opportunity, my first panel hosting, even my one time daily deviation was me putting together all the BronyCon ponies. So to see it leave next year will be a hard pill to swallow for sure. But like all good things are bound to end eventually. We’d joked about it from the beginning, the tenuous balance this community had in the beginning won through sheer exuberance & fraternity. Its hard to see the event go.

But I know we’ll make its send off a good one. We’re a community. Some would say the best one! Out lasting Homestuck & striving past Undertale, we’ve got a lot left in us. I know that should BronyCon go, there will be others. Should those go to then we will have each other & the memories we shared.

So until Next year Baltimore! Until next year BronyCon! For forever and a day~

~dusty

[mythaura-blog]

Hey all! Welcome to our December development update. Here is what lies under the cut.

What’s new

NPCs on Mythaura

New Monsters and New Item Patreon Illustrations

FAQ

Community spotlight

This month, we have been working on basic back end set up. Login and register systems are currently being built and tested. We’ve had some continuous trouble with our current server, so we’ve found it best for development to move to a new server. We’re currently in the process of shifting everything over - there may be some downtime on the Beast Demo, we will give everyone a heads up on our social media channels when that time comes!

On the topic of the Demo - we are planning some new and exciting usability features for Demo V3. • Link generation for sharing After creating a Beast, a link will be generated. The link will be a url to your creation. You can also import a link from another creation. • Lock and unlock options Options can be locked and unlocked by clicking the lock symbol. This will ensure your option will not change even when clicking randomize. • Shift Special order Shift Special options by moving the arrows. This will change the layering order of Specials without having to choose options again, making it easier to customize.

• Loading animation A simple loading animation to appear before the Beasts image is generated. Some other additions would be an "Age" option which changes the Beasts base to the Young Base or the Grown Base. And the categorization of the Base area and Special Markings area so it's a little easier to tell options apart.

The young bases for the three starter Beasts - Dragon, Griffin and Unicorn have been completed. We are planning to have all Young bases and their 125 colors and the current catalog of Special Markings available for the next Demo V3 update.

The Hybrid bases are being worked on and will be ready for the next demo update - here are the sketches for the young Quetzal, Hippogriff and Kirin!

We’ll have news very soon about when Demo V3 will drop. For now, I can share that work has started on the next Hybrid Beasts. Here is a quick sneak peak.

Every shop you visit in Mythaura is run by a shopkeep. These shopkeepers have their own unique personalities, quests and dialogue. They will interact with you, the player, through dialogue boxes. Some moments will give you different options to respond to the NPC and the NPCs portrait will change to different expressions depending on their mood and dialogue. For example; if a player hands in a completed quest, the NPC portrait will change to a pleased expression. Each character will play a large role within the story and game play.

This month our amazing Tier 3+ supporters on Patreon voted in a poll to choose the first NPC players will interact with on site out of three options. Acting as a tutorial guide, they will welcome the player into the world, introduce them to the currency, explain factions, walk players through creating their first Beast and finally leading them into the full game. This is an early look at the Mythaura “Welcome” NPC!

“A cheerful elderly Quetzal. He is a travelling merchant who sells interesting items he found while on the road. His bird is his best bud.”

Next month, patrons will decide on the Quetzal Traveller’s coloring, define their personality, their shop and their name. We’ll have more to share on the NPC system and other characters that will feature in Mythaura soon!

Tier 4 and 5 Patreon rewards have the opportunity to work with the artists to create their own Monsters and Items that will appear in-game. Here are the illustrations that have been created this month. Many thanks to our incredibly creative supporters! Monsters: Lunar Bone Thief - Created with Fizzywits Vitterfolk - Created with Malis (Work in progress! The Vitterfolk’s final illustration will be completed soon)

Items: Crystallion - Created with Aku Reine Plushie - Created with TwinFishes Coelacanth - Created with Frillshark Pahoehoe Flower -  Created with Mezzo

FAQ

So many pet games have been ruined by multi accounts, botters & scammers. I'd like to know what your policies will be on these since I am wary of investing in another site that doesn't have the staff or motivation to keep a clean playing field for all. - Anonymous

Those are completely valid concerns. As with any multiplayer online game, there will inevitability be those who will exploit it in some way or another. We will take our security and code of conduct very seriously, any player found violating that will be restricted or banned.

How many times can you create a beast from scratch? Only when you first join or are there other ways to do so? (Through an item for example) - Anonymous

You will create your first Beast upon joining Mythaura - a Dragon, Griffin or Unicorn. You’ll be able to choose any of the 125 colors on the wheel to customize their Base, Bottom and Top areas on their bodies. At the moment, this will be the only time you will be able to create a Beast from scratch. We are definitely not ruling out any other options! At this point it’s too early to say for sure.

Will there be a way to keep beasts as their 'baby' forms? - katjoyy

Yes! I realize that some people might prefer the young Beast artworks to their grown versions. There will be a method in the game to keep them from growing up - whether through consumable items or another means.

I know there is crowd funding, but will you be using Kickstarter at any point? I am more familiar with them, as I feel many are, and would rather fund through there (Dappervolk Funded within Hours.. or minuets??) I'd love to know, thanks! - bobbybi

Our first priority before planning the final crowdfunding push is delivering on an alpha and beta. We are 100% focused on building Mythaura the best it can be now and our Patreon is helping out a great deal to reach that goal.  

I love Mythaura so much already, I can't explain it in words! I can't wait to see it reach it's max potential. I just wanted to know if there would be a feeding or age mechanic that would cause your creature to pass on eventually. I only ask, because I dislike the game mechanic cause death is no fun. - Anonymous

Thank you so much! Your support means the world  ❤ There will be no death mechanic. We expect players to put a lot of time and effort into customizing their Beasts and it would feel like a waste to have them pass on eventually. Rest easy knowing that your Beasts will be immortal.

In the future, would you be open to beast/monster/item suggestions from users? - Anonymous

We are always open to suggestions! I am actively listening on all our social media channels. I take any and all suggestions to heart and note them down. But if you’re super eager to have your ideas made into reality, Tier 4 and 5 Patreon rewards can have their suggestions made into actual items in-game. 

Okay so, you're making a Virtual Pet game. What do you have planned that will set you apart from other games like Flight Rising and even Neopets? I see the graphics are looking good, but do you have something else new that you intend to bring to the table with this? - formerlybees

As a long time fan and player of virtual pet games, I can say that we have a number of new ideas we are planning to bring into the genre. Some ideas inspired by other virtual pet games and some inspired by other MMOs. We have some incredibly ambitious ideas planned out that I wish I could tell you about, but we need to see if we can actually build them and get it all working! 

Hi, I'm very curious as to what you look for in a portfolio for artists/writers? I'm very new to submitting portfolios and unfortunately art school doesn't really teach you this sort of thing. Thanks in advance! - rexcaliburr

For Mythaura specifically - Artists that show pieces with 2D cel-shaded style similar to our own and demonstrate cohesive anatomy for animal-like creatures. Just a couple of their best polished pieces will deliver the best first impression!  For writers, a small section of writing that best showcases your creative flair and perhaps links to your previous works if any. 

For artists, I recommend checking out the Dear Art Director tumblr. It’s helped me out a lot personally when I was freelancing.

Any update on best boy reine's final art work? - twinfishieslove

No update as of yet! You’ll have to gaze upon his glorious mugshot for now.

(In all seriousness, the Beast bases come first and are rather time consuming!)

Hey grif! Which, personally, if your favourite species - dragondrawsdragons

Hmm, good question. I’m rather partial to my namesake. Who can’t not love a half bird of prey, half lion?! I’ll give an honorable mention to Hippogriffs, albatross ponies are fun too. 

Our community feature for this month is showcasing the artistic talents of the Mythaura Discord community. Check it out!

I wish I could fit more in! I am so impressed by the art I get to see there almost everyday. It’s an absolute treat.

Every month we will be showcasing some community creations. If you’d like to share your Mythaura inspired artworks, make sure to tag them with  #mythaura on both Tumblr and Twitter. We’d love to see them.

If you would like to chat with other members of the community and members of the Mythaura team - Click here to join us on the official Mythaura Discord!

That’s it for this month. To finish, I’ll leave you with this super adorable sketch of a Beast family drawn by the very talented Luci!

Have a happy new year!

❤ Grif

[extradan]

Hey I like your art a ton and I was wondering just how long you have been drawing and working to improve as an artist.

Oh my gosh haha thank you so much for liking my art!

I have been drawing for the longest time, I think ever since kindergarten, well at least the artistic dedication! 

I used to draw my when i was in middle school, starting from fourth grade i have been drawing more and more frequently until fifth grade in which I was drawing on a daily base, back then I would also be sitting and making animations on flash, which unfortunately I dont have backups of

but from middle school, up to high school 2012, my art never improved, it was just all the same all the time, I was back then on ritalin and I decided to start my first pony blog, while updating my blog, I couldnt consider yet Tumblr being part of the effective social websites that I go on as nobody was following me and I had no one to intreact with back, tumblr would be the thing i would check once every few days, it was nothing to me but a mere another google plus, until i was sponsored by catfood-mcfly back when he was running the Herpy Derpy blog, and thats where I got recognized and I was determined to continue my activity on tumblr as an ask blog, and I have gotten to become more interactive with people, being inspired by the many of the art I have been seeing from following other people, I would adopt and experiment with what I saw mostly shines through their art, and 2012 was the year I have made the biggest change in my art throughout the months, whitin 6-8 months I have improved by a ton!  tumblr was a very resourceful to the evolution of my art! and I also made so many friends and I have as well learned to become a better person! I am a better person of who I used to be in the past, and i am still improving! there are still a lot of things I need to work about myself as a person!

Also stepping out of drawing in flash and starting doing my stuff in sai was revolutionary to my art, flash back then wasnt recognized fully as an animators program by macromedia and neither by adobe, as they saw it an all purpose program for making goptimized ames and ads, only until all browsers and webpages grew out of flash and flash officially was blocked by all browsers since you could have implanted malicious codes into flash files, only then flash recognized as an art and animation tool for creators.

So moving to sai allowed me to build sketches and bodies easily and paint and yadda yadda and it was all great and helped boosting my art upwards

Flash limited my improvement as I wasnt drawing sketches on flash since you couldnt just lower the opacity of the layer you drew the sketch on, you would have to go through several actions to achieve that, but you would be lowering the opacity of your selected drawing and not the layer, I couldnt also paint on flash and flash ever since the stone age had those horrible vector tools that SUCKED DICK unless you do stretching and smoothing and fixing, in my opinion at least, they did improve the vector system a bit BUT IT STILL SUCKS, i prefer bitmap brushes more, which why I prefer Toon Boom harmony as a program for animators.

If you have been back in the days, you could have watched me go through a several phases! like drawing like atryl, raikissu’s shading and coloring styles, florecentmoo’s shading techniques and eye pupil style, and I uhh.. dont remember the rest, but theres have been a lot of artists out there whom I adopted artistic traits like:

theflyingtacoz, kittentoots(drunk fluttershy), w300, Santi, belaboy, dr idiot, inzergue (big impact on my current style), David (the guy who now works on mighty magiswords along with kyle), fungasm, colorlesscupcake (known as caek now), ahappypichu (a pretty powerful current impact on how i paint my art today), uhh, also “pinkie in private” which, to this day, drawing the way the draw the cheek for their characters, and some other artists I that I couldnt come up in my mind but I did adapt a trait or two from.

My current big inspirations are artists who work on OK KO and as fake as it might sound, my own fiance! yes!! they have been an inspiration for me for quite a while even back at 2012, but to how I viewed it, I never really dared to adopt anything from them because I was so out of their league, and my art was still shaping and i already had ideas that I wouldnt think would work if i mixed some of their’s, but now that my art have been developed and has a solid state of how it looks, they inspire me so much!!

Drawing ponies was probably the best practice I have ever had that thanks to that I have pushed so far in the art that I do, ponies are so simplified!! and easy to draw! it allowed me to produce more and that means that it allowed me to experience differently with each time! 

It helped me improve with a lot of stuff like gesture, facial and painting and other other minor stuff! drawing ponies was such a booster seat for me!

But unfortunately, from drawing ponies alot you wont learn how to draw humans, which understanding muscle, action line, figure and bones is so crucial for drawing, anything really! understanding how the body works is extremely fundamental and its there for you to know how to manipulate the drawings your making, of any specie, its not there to just teach you how to draw the anatomy of the human body, that will only serve as a plus.

I have learned a lot from ponies but how bodies work and draw clothes lmafo, to this day I cant draw clothes for days

in 2014 I ordered a really good book and I have polished my anatomy and human drawing skills, I yet dont know some stuff because i stopped practicing because of varios reason like relationship, access and physical health.

In the begging of the year I acquired a cintiq and it been nothing but dreadful to me, but im using it because i spent.. so much money on it.. and i have been so concerned about bringing it to my home country as well.. but it has the adventage of a screen so... 

its just, I dont have a low enough desktop or high enough chair to draw on it, its always above my shoulder no matter the angle and it puts so much weight on my shoulders, the thing is heavy too so its not something you could lean on your legs while you draw, neither it is portable, it made work much more harder and difficult and I wasnt drawing as frequesnt because my time wasnt so so enjoyable, my 2015 as well become a dreadful year to me and I was feeling guilty and shitty everyday, and it was my fault because it was all my doing and i let myself feel that way, and I had barely the stamina to work on my art ever over the year, I also lost my passion and motivation to draw and basically it dragged also to 2016, I drew a few commissions but I didnt produce much art neither, then I flew over the united states and I didnt have acess to drawing for 4 months as i was away from my equipment, my fiance had the equipment, but that means that I would have to use their computer for all the dedicated hours I use to work on my art and they would have nothing but a mere phone to entertain themselves, also our time togehter was really precious and every minute counted, so we rathered having fun other than doing work work work

2017 came and I still had the sense of drawing lost in me, I would draw whenever i would have a piece of paper available to me since I find fun in that, since im comfortable and cozy and i dont have to concentrate the entirety of my body weight on my hand and arm as i draw, but I would never draw on the cintiq unless its a miracle or if had a crazy comic idea in mind that i had and MUST HAD executed, i almost didnt draw anything in 2017, and neither in this year but the ok ko drawing i have recently created, but I found a new comfortable focus and its doing 3d, I am using my mouse to do everything and i dont have to feel my horrible chair scraping againt my butt like sandpaper, and I dont to feel like my shoulders are about to give up, I did try Tam’s 13hd and it was so much more comfortable and nice to draw on as i could put it on the bed or on my legs, but I cant afford another expensive piece of equipment, especially not in this generation of technology, wacom fucking sucks but no other brand is willing to be their competitive because tablet is not the purchase the average person would make.

Another reason why I have been so held on drawing and using the cintiq, which was probably the most major thing was it’s total, hot flaming shitty garbage diarrhea poopy stank abysmal horrible disgusting nasty dumbass smelly drivers which made every chance i had to draw a miss because i would battle myself from 30 minutes to over a hour fixing my tablet to draw a single thing, and its been like that every time i would turn my cintiq on! the situation was severe and everytime i would find a solution, it would be later suppressed, it was so harsh that i had a few months in which nothing I would do would make the drivers function, i was basically tabletless, so many, and a lot of opportunities for me to create a piece of drawing was flushed in the toilet with the rest, and so it was a deeper burden on my passion, determination and motivation to draw.

But yeah, now im doing 3d and it feels like a fresh hobby to me since I felt that im not going anywhere in and with my art (even though I yet have to learn how to draw bodies better, let alone drawing limbs, feet and CLOTHES!!)

and now the future has yet to be revealed!

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Games You Might Not Have Tried #11 – Find New Games – Extra Credits

I sure hope you folks enjoy watching these as much as I like making ’em, because… I don’t know, these are fun! These episodes always take us a couple of months to put together, so by the time each one comes out, James has already got a new batch of games to recommend. Anyway! You know the drill. We don’t promise that all these games are good, just that they’re different.

Their design is interesting in some way, even if the most interesting thing about them is how they failed to achieve what they’re setting out to do. Anyway, enough talk. Have at you! Zero Time Dilemma. Years ago, we recommended 999 in one of these episodes. It’s been quite the journey since then, but now the franchise (or at least this chapter of it) is coming to a close, and the story is perhaps one of the best yet in the series. The graphics… not so much, but don’t let that deter you. This game may handily demonstrate just how much better 2D graphics can look, and that switching to 3D isn’t always the best choice, but, if you’ve followed the series so far, you owe it to yourself to finish this one out. And if you haven’t checked these games out yet, well, maybe get on that. Inside. We would be remiss if we didn’t mention this one.

Brought to you by the creators of Limbo, this is a dark and mysterious run through a puzzle-filled testing facility. James didn’t find it quite as compelling as Limbo, but it’s still a solid title, and the atmosphere alone is worth your time if you want to learn how to build that sort of oppressive feeling into your own games. Reverse Crawl. James just tore through this one. It’s one of those, “just one more battle” type games that’ll have you so sucked in that you won’t realize the sun is rising and, oops, you didn’t sleep. The really interesting thing about this game is that it takes the “Heroes of Might and Magic” or “Kings Bounty” formula, and does away with the exploration.

Now, that might sound terrible – James felt that way too, at first. I mean, exploration kind of seems like the lifeblood of those games. But by doing away with the exploration, Reverse Crawl is able to make the combat much tighter, with specifically designed encounters and a progression system that really makes the player consider what they want to be able to play with. Add to that the fact that the player can’t just barge into battle with a ridiculously broken combination of units, but instead has to pick from a wide variety of pre-made unit groupings for each encounter, and you get a tightly designed experience.

You can even beat it in one night if you don’t sleep. I don’t recommend it, but, I’m just saying, you could. ([evil laugh]) (And this, my distinguished gentlebots,) (is the new SteamWorld!) SteamWorld Heist. Since we’re talking strategy games, let’s talk about this pleasantly surprising little gem. This is a game that takes all the conventions of our isometric or top-down tactics games, and puts them on a 2D plane. And it works! It works because the designers considered how 2D might change the formula, what they might be able to do with the design in 2D that’d be harder in one of those other formats. And the conclusion they came to was to make you aim manually.

Yep, this is a tactics game like any other, but sort of like Valkyria Chronicles, when it comes time to shoot, you’ve gotta eyeball it. With no reticle to guide you, this makes variables like cover become a much more interesting and interactive element of the game than we saw even in games like XCOM. So, if you’re looking for a quirky tactics game, or even just like thinking about how we can push the formula, you might want to check out SteamWorld Heist. (And of course it all went according to plan…) Now, a whole lot of you asked if we could talk about some tablet and mobile games on one of these lists, so let me just throw a slew of those at you before we get back to the weird PC games. Let’s start with Galactic Keep. Galactic Keep is exactly what I always wanted a storybook adventure to be when I was young. It takes some of the work done in Steve Jackson’s excellent Sorcery series to the next level and really makes you feel like you’re playing a solo tabletop role-playing module.

Seriously. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more like I was at the Barrier Peaks without a GM screen on the table. Out There. This game has no combat, and yet, it is brutal. It’s a roguelike survival adventure where you are the last surviving member of humanity trying to make it home. Its vignettes are excellently written, but unlike most story driven games, you will not easily reach the end of this story. I think it’s the very fact that Out There presents a harsh universe where you will die time and again before ever being able to see one of its many endings that kept drawing James back. If you like sci-fi, if you like roguelikes, if you like narrative and are interested in a brutal challenge that never once involves firing a blaster, you better check this out.

Icebound Concordance. Speaking of writing, here is a game that is all about writing. Or rather, it’s all about rewriting. The game itself is a conversation with an AI built from the mind of a writer, and you are there to help it edit and rewrite its last book. That’s pretty interesting in its own right, but then you get to the real bit: the Icebound Compendium. If you’re willing to pony up $25 to pick up the companion book, you are in for something…

Novel. I can’t say much about the Compendium without spoiling things, but, suffice it to say that periodically throughout the game you will be prompted to search through the book for pages related to some of what’s going on on-screen. Then, the game will use your iPad camera to scan the pages and to make the book itself come to life. My only complaint here is that the book itself is poorly made. The cover fell off the binding of James’ copy before it even got through the mail. Of course, that’s a sample size of one James, so hopefully yours will be sturdier. (♪ This is the Guild of Dungeoneering,) (♪ On our quest, we’re never fearing…) The Guild of Dungeoneering.

This game is here simply as an example of what a difference platform can make. James found this to be a mediocre strategy title when he first played it on PC, but on a tablet, its lighter shorter sessions and more casual strategy experience really works. If you want a relaxing strategy game to play on the go, it’s worth trying. Really though, this game is worth buying for the songs alone. (♪ The Guild of Dungeoneering!) (♪ Curse and swear, but don’t despair,) (♪ The way out appears to be over there,) (♪ I think we’re lost, but what do we care?) (♪ The Guild of Dungeoneering!) Templar Battleforce.

I haven’t tried this game on PC, but the mobile version was exactly what James was looking for in a slightly more hardcore tactics game. If you want to play Space Hulk, but the actual modern Space Hulk video game didn’t cut it for you, get Templar Battleforce. It’s everything Space Hulk should be. It’s got an interesting class system, a varied advancement tree, multiple ways to customize units of the same class, and yet the levels are short enough to play on the go. Alright, that’s enough mobile games. Let’s return to the PC, and let’s get weird.

Cat Lady. We so rarely get to recommend adventure games, so I’m glad we get to talk about this piece of weirdness. There are a lot of counter-intuitive design decisions in this game: sometimes on purpose, sometimes as pitfalls of the old-school adventure game ethos, but if you’re looking for something surreal, creepy, and dark, Cat Lady has you covered. The art style perfectly fits the madness, feeling at times like Monty Python channeling Poe.

And the decision to do away with the mouse entirely in an old-school adventure game and streamline things by going with a keyboard interface alone? That’ll put you on a “Games You Might Not Have Tried” list. Fran Bow. We can’t talk about horror games without talking Fran Bow. If you want disturbing and strange, this game has it in spades, but it’s the ambiguity of this game that I love. I’ll try not to spoil anything, but let’s just say, the game leaves itself open for interpretation, and I think that’s great. Too often, horror stories try to explain all their nightmarish surreality, and in doing so, kill the horror. That’s not to say that horror stories shouldn’t make sense, but leaving your nightmare world as an ambiguous metaphor is often so much better than feeling like you have to tie up all the loose ends by saying something like, “See? It was a dream all along!” Fran Bow is an excellent example of this.

Killing Time at Lightspeed. I love the premise of this game. You’ve left Earth. You’re traveling away at light speed, but you can still see your Facebook feed. But here’s the catch: at relativistic speed, every time you hit refresh, a year has passed. You can touch base for one snapshot of everyone’s lives back home then it whirls past and time moves on – for them, if not for you. My only complaint is that most of the time, most of my friends back home simply talked about the news, and for me at least, that’s not how social networks work. That’s a big part of it to be sure, but it’s in the background of all the tiny day-to-day things that people post. I would have loved to have more emphasis on the personal, on the relationships of people and their daily lives, as that backdrop would have given the big events of the world that much more impact, seeing how they affected the people I loved even as I whipped away from them at the speed of light.

Anyway, neat game. Try it out. And finally, Quadrilateral Cowboy. What happens when you mix stealth capers with command line hacking and a PS1 visual aesthetic? Well, you get Quadrilateral Cowboy. Your mileage may vary with the art style, but there is something so cyberpunk about actually hooking up a computer to a jack and having to turn off a security laser with a series of semicolon delineated commands. Am I alone, though, in this making me long for a multiplayer game where one player plays the stealth action hero, and the other one plays their off-site hacker buddy? Like, unlocking the doors and shutting off security cameras in the nick of time with a command-line interface? That would be rad. Somebody, get on that. Anyway, I think that’ll do it for today. Thank you for watching; recommend some of your own weird favorites in the comments below, and we will see you next week..

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