#all the ones i’m seeing their heads are like 1/4th the size of their thighs with their bellies hanging out over their pants | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gr0vndz3ro · 4 years ago

Text

Sweet Somethings

(Sweet Nothings Pt.2)NSFW

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, cursing, sugar daddy, daddy kink, size kink (if you squint), slight oral, finger fucking, loss of virginity, praise kink

Word count:6,906

Tag List (permanent): @keigod @dragonhrte @mrs-takami-keigo @fanfic-me-up @gallickingun @royal-after-dark @hawks-senseis @bnhabookclub

Crossed off: Virgin x Veteran

A/N: I’m so surprised with the amount of love I’ve been getting with Sweet Nothings, it’s almost at 1k when I’m posting this and I can’t put into words how shocked I am. I honestly didn’t think anyone would care for it. I love y’all so much so I hope I did you guys proud with this.

Pt.1 Here

One would expect nice things out of a sugar daddy, but that did not mean you were prepared for them. And you were certainly not ready for the luxurious sports car that stood in front of you. Pitch black with orange accents, a monstrous growl emanating from underneath the hood. The nicest car you had ever seen, yet the only thing your brain could focus on was the warmth pressed against you back. The way you could feel Katsuki’s hard pecs through the fabric of both his shirt and your dress was enough to make your thighs press together. What surprised you the most was the way that this man, who was almost a complete stranger to you, was able to control your body with such little effort.

You felt yourself almost let out a whine when he removed himself from behind you, making his way to the passenger side door and opening it for you to make your way inside. Stepping forward, you try to regain what little composure you had, and make your way to the seat, promptly reaching for the buckle when your wrist is stopped by his calloused grip. In confusion, you move your head up to meet eyes with the man attached to the hand now holding onto you.

“Please, what kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn’t buckle the lady’s seat for her. You do take me for a gentleman, don’t you?” The kind smile upon his lips telling a different story from the devious look he was giving you. You nod your head in agreement, not truly trusting your words as you move your hand away to allow him to do what he was wanting. His fingers wrap around the metal clasp and drag it across your body, bringing it closer to the fastener. Yet as he did so, he allowed his hand to graze against your semi exposed thigh. A tingle rushing throughout you at the simple touch. How are such small things affecting you so drastically?

While the drive was fairly quiet, it oddly wasn’t uncomfortable, yet the hand gently placed just above your knee was quickly going to become your undoing. You had given up on trying to figure out where it was the two of you were going soon after you 4th time asking him, only getting excuses in response along the lines of, ‘What’s the fun in you knowing’, ‘That will ruin the surprise’, and many others. So instead, you have resorted to taking in the passing scenery. The tall buildings that passed you by slowly started to thin out until eventually the only buildings you could see were little convenience stores and well kept historical homes. But it got to the point that they too soon left your view and the only thing that laid outside of the glass were the colossal trees that blocked out the sky.

After some time, the vehicle slowed down as it approached a gated fence. Saying it was a gated fence felt like an understatement as it was equal to what you would see guarding the homes of Hollywood celebrities. While nearing the entrance, Katsuki rolls down his window while tilting his head to the camera that was positioned on top of a speaker. Words were exchanged between him and whoever was on the other side of the speaker, and while you couldn’t make out everything the man was saying one phrase caught your attention, “Welcome home sir.” Your brow dips in turmoil as you try to convince yourself that the thoughts that were racing through your mind, were not the reason he was bringing you here. Surely he didn’t think that all the money he had donated meant that he had ownership over you and your body. Because if that was what he was thinking he had another thing coming. Almost sensing your inner dilemma, he let out a chuckle before lightly brushing his thumbs against your knee.

“You have nothing to worry about. I told you I was a gentleman, didn’t I?” The smile that pulled at his lips was enough to calm your anxieties. Your head travels to the window to watch as you pass by more trees. How big was this property? When you realize that the tires beneath you had come to a halt, you turn back to him only to watch as he steps out of the car. After unbuckling your seatbelt, you didn’t even have enough time to reach out for the handle before he was opening your door for you, extending his hand out for you to hold onto as you step out of the vehicle. Your mouth opens to ask him what you're doing here but feel yourself quickly get silenced by the warm presence of his hand on your back and his mouth close to your ear. “It’s a surprise, remember? Trust me, you won't be treated like anything less of the princess you are tonight.” A blush dancing across your face as he interlocks his hand with your own, gently guiding you away from where you were parked.

He led you down a stone path that trailed right along the edge of the small forest, lanterns lighting the way. Smaller trees draped over the path way, shielding you from the slowly setting sun. It wasn’t dark out yet, but the shade that the leaves provided created a cozy aura to the whimsical path. The whole walkway was almost something out of a fairytale. But it almost was fitting with the knight in shining armor on your side. Looking up you watch as his hair just slightly moves with every step he takes. You could tell it had been styled out of his face, but it was almost as if the unruly hair was attempting to fight back the products holding it down. But while you were entranced by the man on your side, you had almost missed the new breeze that swept past you. As the trees start to clear, you turn your head to find yourself shocked. Not because of the chill that was now running down your spine due to the cold wind, or even the gorgeous colors of the setting sun reflecting off of the water. No, instead it was because of the massive yacht that was docked at the pier of this beautiful lake.

Your jaw drops as he takes you toward the pier and closer to this magnificent boat. As you walk along the side you read the S.S. Lady Explosion Murder. It was kept in pristine condition, almost making you wonder if it had ever even been sailed. When he brings the two of you to a halt, you finally manage to bring your eyes away from the boat and look to see that he stopped in front of the stairs that lead onto it. You look up at him to see if you were supposed to go on, to which he responds by extending his free arm and doing a slight bow as if to say ‘after you’. He releases his hold on your hand to allow you to stabilize yourself on the handrail. As you make your way onto the ship, you see a table romantically decorated for two in the middle of the deck. Roses lay in a vase on the center of the table and candles placed strategically around the area to allow for just the right amount of light. Your jaw slightly drops at the lovely table that he had set up, turning back to him, catching his eye in the process.

“Did you do all of this for me?” In genuine shock, since no person had ever gone this all out for you before. He takes a step toward you closing off the distance before lightly grazing your cheek with his hand, tucking the loose stand behind your ear.

“Of course, you deserve nothing less than the best. I would have done more but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I just thought a nice dinner on the lake would be good for our first date.”

“You sound so confident that there is going to be more, quite the confident one aren’t you?” A slight smirk making its way to your face as you question him. But he quickly steals the smirk away from you as it travels over to him as he speaks again, his voice now a low purr.

“I have plenty of reasons to be confident. If you’re lucky you may find out why.” Your face turning a dark hue at what his words could imply. A chuckle emits from him as he watches you turn red. “You’re so easy to mess with princess, here let’s go and enjoy our nice night.” he once again places his hand on your lower back, guiding you to your chair before promptly pulling out your seat for you. You say a quick thank you to him as he pushes you forward, before making his way to the other side of the table to sit across from you. As you both got seated, you felt the boat start to move as it departed from the dock and started making its way further out on the lake. You couldn’t help but watch the water as it hits the side of the boat, mesmerized in the way the colors of the sky reflected off of it. You turn back away from the view to look at the stunning man in front of you.

“So I’m guessing that this must be your yacht?” You assumed that it was but you were curious to see if you were in fact on his property or not.

“It is, this is just the boat I keep here up here at the lake. It’s not often I’m actually able to come up here and enjoy it as I tend to be a workaholic you could say.”

“I do have to ask then, is there any meaning behind the ‘Lady Explosion Murder’?” A smile on your face as you ask him about the bizarre name. You understood men naming them after women they love for good luck, but you couldn’t imagine anyone being named that. He started to laugh at the memories of how he came across the name.

“Do you know what it is I do for a living?” He asked and it caused you to pause, seeing as you hadn’t actually even thought of it. You shook your head no and waited for him to continue explaining. “So, I’m the CEO for a large weapons and ammunition company. We mostly work with the military and deal with trading in foreign affairs. But when I was in school for my business degree we had to come up with a name for a mock company we worked on for a school project. I wanted to name the company King Explosion Murder then Lord Explosion Murder but the teacher said that both of those were too violent so I eventually ended up picked Ground Zero. When I open my own company I choose the same name I had used back then. But as a little homage to the ‘good ole days’ I decided to name the ship in favor of the rejected names.”

The two of you ended up laughing as he started talking more about his times in high school and you found yourself intrigued at all his stories about him and his childhood friends. He casually was able to switch the conversation over so that it was now on you and as the dinner for the night made its way to the table, you were telling all about your embarrassing memories and the horrible dates you had gone on.

“So you're telling me he tried to kiss you after that?” Bakugou had never laughed so hard in his life, yet it came so easy when he was with you.

“Yes he did! He spilled his entire glass of soda on me, attempted to ‘wipe it off’ and then proceeded to go in tongue first for a kiss at the end of the night. Needless to say I went home alone once again. I was convinced I was doomed and never going to be able to get past a first date with a decent guy let alone get a boyfriend.” A slight chuckle leaving your lips as you reminisce on all the horrible first dates you had been on. He paused in his laughter as your words processed in his brain.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me you’ve never had a boyfriend? You’ve got to be shitting me. There’s no way.” A light blush covering your cheeks as he stares at you in disbelief. You shrug your shoulders to say that it was true and he shakes his head. “Please tell me that this hasn’t been at least half as bad as any of your last dates with those wanna be’s” You smile as you watch him stand up from his seat and make his way over to where you were, extending his hand so that you could take it once again.

“It has already been a thousand times better, might even let you kiss me at the end,” Bakugou pulled you up from your chair, but since you weren’t expecting the force, you ended up tripping on your feet and landing dead center of his chest. You glance up making eye contact with him, your cheeks heating up once again as a familiar, devilish smirk spreads across his face. He tilts his head down and lowers it just above your ear, allowing his hot breath to fan across your neck as he speaks again.

“It looks like I already have you falling for me love, are you sure I’ll have to wait for the end of the date for that kiss?” As he goes to pull away from your ear, you move your hand to the back of his neck, keeping him there as you speak.

“Good things come to those who wait Mr. Bakugou.” You release his neck and are relieved to see that for once you weren’t the one with a tint of red across your face. Looking over his shoulder you could see that the sun was starting to set and you got excited at the opportunity to watch the sun set on this beautiful boat. “Oooo, let’s go watch the sun set,” A innocent smile on your face, ignoring what you had previously said to him, instead taking his hand and leading him to the railing on the side of the ship, wanting the best possible view of the setting sun. As you stood with your arms resting against the rail, Bakugou’s arms wrap around your frame, securely holding you against it and his warm torso. Resting his chin on the top of your head, you both stay silent as you enjoy the view together.

As you look off into the distance, just enjoying the peaceful quiet out on the lake, it is disturbed by a man walking up to you. He had cleared his throat, startling, only further pushing you against Bakugou’s chest. You could feel his hard pecs through the thin material separating you. As you go to move away from his chest, the grasp of his hand on your waist holds you tightly against him. For the hundredth time that night, your face goes red but with a new reason. Not because of any lewd words, or any innuendoes. Instead it was because of the pressure that was now on your butt. You were almost positive he wasn’t hard and the size of it in this state was enough to make your thighs clench. Just how fucking big is he? Your hips unintentionally rock backwards at the thought. The grip that was on your hip tightens as a light groan emits from his throat at the contact. If you weren’t turned on before, that sinful noise definitely had you soaked. As your thoughts continue going south, the man that had startled you in the first place spoke up.

“Sorry to disturb you sir, but there seems to be a malfunction with the engine. It’s nothing major but we aren’t going to be able to get anyone out here until the morning. I can call for another boat to bring you to shore, but I don’t know how long that will take to get here.” He stood by, awaiting an answer from Katsuki. He slightly steps away from you giving you just enough room to turn around to face him. Once facing him, he asks you,

“Would you like me to call for a boat so you can get back to your hotel? It should only take a few hours hopefully. But if you are tired, you can always stay in one of the bedrooms on board the yacht. It isn’t a problem, there’s multiple bedrooms if that would be an issue.” Looking into his eyes it didn’t seem like he had an ulterior agenda, but instead genuinely seemed to want to make sure you were comfortable, and was willing to make whatever you wanted happen. That thought made a smile cross your lips, as he made you feel safe and comfortable, even only knowing him for a small amount of time.

“I’m alright with just staying on the ship. Don’t stress yourself with ordering a charter boat.” Katsuki returned your smile as he slowly turned away from you to inform the crew member that the two of you would be spending the night on the ship but he was free to call for a charter boat if he wanted to go back home. After the man gave a polite bow to the two of you, he turned around and left to go back to the wheel. Now that the two of you were alone, he turned back to you taking your hand in his once again.

“Did you want to head to bed now? Or would you like for me to show you where your room for the night will be?” You nod your head saying yes, after which he guides you to the undercarriage of the boat. There was what seemed to be a living room and jetting off from the room was a hallway which had 3 doors. His other hand that wasn’t connected with you reached out toward the handle of one of the doors. He twists it open and a large bedroom presents itself. Stepping to the side, he makes enough room to allow you to pass by him to enter the room and explore for yourself. You make your way toward the dresser that was next to the wall before turning around when you hear him speak up again. “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to grab you some clothes for you to sleep in.”

As he exits the room you take the time to examine the room. Your hand runs up the bed, the soft sheets almost calling your name to plop down onto them. But you hold yourself back and instead just sit on the edge of it, almost sinking in as the bed welcomes you in cozy arms. Just as you were about to get lost in the relaxation this mattress was tempting you with, Katsuki walked back into the room, a few clothes in his hand. He placed them on the side table before sitting next to you on the bed.

“I only had some of my clothes in the other room, so I hope you don’t mind but I just grabbed you some of my stuff.” He moved his head to look over at you and paused at how close your faces were. His eye brow slightly raises as his eyes travel down your face before landing on your lips, lingering before returning to meet you stare. His hand ghosted over the side of your body before traveling behind your neck, entangling in your hair at the base of your head. “Did you need help with anything else before I go?” You felt frozen under his lustful stare, unable to get the words out of your mouth as there was a lump in the back of your throat and an intense burn in your core. Swallowing the lump you speak up.

“I think I can think of a thing or two you could help me with.” Slightly leaning your head forward, feeling yourself getting drawn closer to him. But he must have felt the same because you could feel his word fan across your lips as he replied.

“And what would that be, princess?” His voice so smooth it came out almost as a purr. Yet instead of responding you push yourself forward, closing the small distance between the two of you. Your lips meet in a passionate kiss, perfectly molding together as if they had been created to only meet one another's lips. Your hand runs up his arm to tangle in his hair, gripping it as you try to drown yourself as the kiss makes you almost lightheaded. His spare hand moves down to your hip, squeezing it before relaxing it. The hand that was buried in your hair grips down, tugging at the strands, making a soft gasp leave your mouth at the pulling sensation. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Bakugou dives his tongue into your mouth, exploring the new area. Your tongues battle before his hold on your hair and hip tightens causing you to submit. Your hands travel down from his hair to his chest before you break away from the kiss by pushing his torso flush against the mattress. As you both attempt to catch your breath your hands make quick work to unbutton his pants, his hand grabbing your wrist before you could continue.

“Hey, I don’t want you to think we have to do anything alright? You pause to look up at him taking in deep breath taking in his appearance. His hair messier now from your hands messing it up. His face coating in a thin tint of red from the heat of the situation. Your eyes start to travel down, looking at how the top few buttons of his shirt had come undone, allowing his collarbone to poke out and letting you catch a glimpse of the chiseled pecs that had yet to leave your mind from the first time you had video called each other. Continuing your exploration, your eyes stop when you reach his pants. the tent in his pants prominent under your devouring stare. Reaching your hand out, you let your hand lightly grasp his member, earning a throaty groan from the man under you. Pulling your bottom lip into your mouth as you slowly palm him through his dress pants. Even semi hard you could feel just how thick he was. Moving your hand, your eyes shoot back up to meet with his, his hooded eyes watching your every move.

“Oh I know. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to do something,” a smile on your face as you separate yourself from him, reaching for the zipper to your dress allowing it to slip past your shoulders and fall to the floor with a soft thud. Strutting your way back to where he was, you connect your hands with his waistband, tugging both his pants and his underwear along with it as you pull them down his muscular thighs. His dick slapping against his abdomen as it is released from its tight confines. Your eyes widen as you feel your jaw slightly drop at the view. Sure you had felt how large it was, but it was nothing in comparison to seeing it in person, right in front of your very eyes. Lowing yourself in front of him, the temptation to lick it was overwhelming as you felt your mouth watering at the sight of it. Taking his length in your hand, you give it a gentle squeeze as you open your mouth, running a long stripe up his length, tracing the pronounced vein that ran underneath of him. You hear him suck in a breath as your tongue flickers over his swollen tip, his hair immediately flying to your hair, needing something to hold onto at the sudden feeling.

“Shit baby girl, don’t mess with me like that.” You would have smirked at the comment but you were preoccupied at the moment. Opening your mouth further you take his head into your mouth, flicking your tongue against him again as you suck on his tip before releasing it while an audible pop. Bringing your head back down you take him into your mouth, relaxing your jaw as you attempt to take him fully into your mouth, almost being successful, but with how big he was it was nearly impossible for you to get him all in. You hold yourself near the base of his dick, tears swelling in your eyes as you try to relax so as to not choke around him. You feel yourself start to gag around him but the low groan that left his mouth made it completely worth it, the sinful sound sending a surge straight to your dripping core. Pulling yourself off of him, you gasp for air as he brushes your hair out of your face.

“Fuck princess, get over here.” He pulls you up to him and connects his lips to you, the kiss much messier than it was before, heated, but amazing to say the least. You break away from him still trying to catch your breath from before.

“Why’d you stop me, I could do a lot more you know.” You walk your fingers across his torso as you give him a playful wink.

“Oh I bet you could, but I’ll be damned if I don’t make you into a sobbing mess before I cum.” You couldn’t hold back the whimper that manages to escape at the thought of him ruining you. “But I bet you’d love that huh princess, want me to make you feel so fucking good.” his lips travel down to your jaw, kissing his way down your neck making it to the dip in your collarbone before licking a strip all the way back to the sweet spot just under your ear. He started moving back down kissing and nibbling as he explored your neck, searching for which spots made you the loudest. That was until he felt himself physically have to pause at your next response, just barely louder than a whisper.

“Yes please daddy...” He groans deeply into, the low pitch sending an electric feeling down your spine and resonating in your core. His hand makes its way to your throat as his finger lightly wraps around it, gently squeezing the sides.

“Say it again. Louder this time.” His fingers pressing into you as you feel a rush going to your head.

“Please daddy, I need you.” He released his grip on your neck and you feel the blood rush to your head. You go to take a deep breath but as you inhale Bakugou grabs you by the waist, flipping you so that he was now inches above you as you're practically pinned to the bed. The very breath you took caught in your throat as he lowered himself to your ear as his deep voice makes chills travel throughout your body.

“What exactly do you need, princess? Come on, I want to hear you use your big girl words.” A whimper involuntarily escaping you.

“I want you to make me feel good. To-- to stuff me with your fingers an- and prep me for your big dick.” Your face a bright shade of red as every drop of confidence you had earlier left with the lewd words he demanded to hear from you. But when you made eye contact with him you could see in the way his eyes darkened and by the smirk on his face that he was satisfied with what you had said. His hands roamed across your body, his rough fingertips slightly scratching you as he looped his fingers in the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your legs before discarding them across the room. As his hand moves back up to your legs, you press them together at the cold feeling against the newly exposed area. He raised an eyebrow at the action and placed both of his hands on each of your knees.

“Spread them.” Was all he needed to say for you to slowly open your legs, putting yourself completely on display for him. Embarrassed at how exposed you were, you went to cover your face, but that didn’t last for long when you heard him groan as he took the sight of you in. Peeking out from under your arm you watch as he licks his lips as he stares at you, looking as if he was ready to devour you then and there.

“Fuck baby girl, you’re so good, doing exactly what I tell you to do -shit.” He started to talk more to himself as he ran his finger over your entrance, sucking in a breath at just how wet you were. A string of profanities leave his mouth as he dips a finger in after completely coating it in your slick. A whimper leaves your lips at the slight stretch. Slowly pushing himself further in, he curls his finger upwards and brushes it against your spongy wall. Your hips jolt up to try to meet his hand but he is quick to place his hand on your stomach, pressing you to the table making you stop your movements. “I’m going to need you to behave princess or you aren’t going to be getting anything from me, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes daddy..” you take in your lip, hoping that the response you gave him was what he had wanted to hear so that he would continue doing whatever it was that sent that electric surge throughout your body. But when you heard the deep groan come from his throat you knew that was exactly what he had wanted to hear. Slowly he pulls his finger out of you only to push it back into you, enjoying the way you clenched around his digit. After sliding out of you a few more times, you are forced to bite down on your lip as he slips another finger inside of you in a swift movement. Each thrust of his fingers slightly curling up to make sure to press lightly against your g-spot, making a tingle shoot to the tips of your toes. A moan rips from your mouth as he curls his fingers inside of you, pressing against your wall with more force. His pace picks up as the noises coming from you do as well. Just as you start to feel a warm feeling build up, your head shoots up at the sensation of another finger being added into you. You shake your head at him trying to tell him that it was too much but you're silenced as his head dips into the crook of your neck. He leaves a trail of hot kisses all the way from your collar bone to just below your ear before he speaks again.

“You’re doing so good princess, taking my fingers like this- fuck- I know you can take it. I can feel just how close you are. Cum for me baby girl, cum all over Daddy’s fingers.” That was enough to make your body take over in a flood of white bliss as your orgasm soars through you. Your hand gripping his back, nails leaving a trail as you hold onto him. You moan out his name as he speaks in your ear. “Yess fuck baby just like that.” As you come down from your high he pulls away just far enough from you to watch as he pulls his fingers out of you. His fingers dripping as you watch him pull them to his face, his mouth wrapping around them, cleaning them and you feel yourself clench around nothing at the sight alone. His hand travels down from his mouth to your thighs, gently squeezing them before spreading them so that he could be between them. His length pressing against you as he puts each of your legs around his hips. You can feel yourself already getting wet again as his tip rubs against your swollen clit. A smirk on his lips as he watches you squirm against the sheets at the feeling of his length pressed against you. “Do you think you're ready for me? Think you’ll be able to handle it, baby?” He teases you, moving forward so that his head rubs against you again. He continues doing this, loving the way you keep moving your hips in any attempt to earn something more from him. He grabs the sides of your hips, halting your movements, causing you to whine. You try to move again just to get any kind of friction and you hear him suck in through his teeth. “Nuh uh princess, I want to hear you beg for it.”

“Please Katsuki-- god please I need you so bad. I just want you to fill me up. Please daddy, fuck me until I can’t walk.” A chuckle is all you can hear before you feel his hand ghost over your thigh, goosebumps covering you as he travels over your inner thigh to where his length was resting against you.

“Your wish is my command, your highness.” was all you heard before the room was filled with the sounds of your moans as he pushed into you. As he slowly bottoms out inside of you, your hands shoot up his back and bury themselves in his hair, pulling him close to you. The slight pain of him stretching you out causes you to furrow your brow and bite down on your lip. Noticing your pain, Bakugou dips down, connecting his lips with your own, distracting you from the pain you were feeling. His hands lightly massaging your thighs and hips as he finally is able to press against you fully. He stills himself giving you the much needed time to adjust to his size. Even with the preparation he was so much bigger than you had expected. After some time you pull away from the kiss, your eyes meeting his as you take in a shaky breath.

“Please- move.” He gives you a smile before pulling out of you, immediately leaving you feel empty before he pushes himself back into you. He leans forward while keeping a slow pace and kisses away the tear that, unknown to you, managed to escape your eye. Pressing his forehead to yours you watch him close his eyes, his eyebrows furrowing as he sucks in a breath.

“Shit baby, you’re so fucking tight.” You didn’t know if the statement had even been for you as he was so focused on not railing himself into you. You could see on his face the struggle he was going through at the antagonizing slow pace he was holding. Taking a hold of his face you bring his attention back to you.

“You can go faster. I can handle it, just give me all you’ve got.” You watch as a sinister look takes over him as one of his hands removes itself from your hips and is planted down beside your head, his other hand’s grip on your hip tightening.

“You might want to hold on then princess.” You were just barely able to comprehend his words before you feel him pull out of you and quickly slam back into you. Not being able to hold back the moans he was pulling out of you as he repeats this action, burying his dick deep inside of you, each thrust causing his head to crash into your soft, spongy wall. While you had told him to give it his all this isn’t what you had been expecting. The pure pleasure coursing through you as his unforgiving speed and power only seems to increase. You drag your fingers down his back, sure that your nails were breaking through his skin, but at the moment, that was the least of your concerns. You threw your head back against the pillow as you feel him attach himself to your neck, his mouth leaving hot open kisses against you. As one of your hands pulls against his hair, a deep groan rumbles through his throat sending the vibration straight into you as he connects himself to you again, his kisses turning into harsh sucking and nibbles. As he moves down your neck he stops at where it connects with your collar bone when he hears the broken moan that leaves from you. As he licks a stripe up the length of your throat back to his new favorite spot, a chill runs through you and you clench around him.

“Fuuuck baby girl, You keep that up and I’ll have no choice but to fuck you all night long.” You whimper at the thought alone. He continues his brutal pace as your grip in his hair tightens, holding on for dear life as you try to keep up. The way he was slamming into you was unforgiving but you loved it. Each thrust making you stretch around him, barely able to handle his size. You could feel your high coming again, and coming fast. But Bakugou must have noticed as well as the hand that was grasping your hip was now rubbing circles into your clit. The pressure was overwhelming as he also somehow picked up the force as he rams harder into you.

“You’re close, aren’t you, baby? Go ahead, cum for me. I want to hear you scream out who is making you feel this good. Let them all know who’s princess you are.” His hip tilted upwards and mixed with what he said was enough to force you to come undone. You scream out his name as your body is taken over in euphoria. “That’s it, baby girl- fuck,” was the only thing you were able to make out as you feel his paint your walls white. His thrust starts to slow as he helps the two of you ride out your highs.

His head presses against your own as you both attempt to catch your breath, the sounds of your breathless pants were now the only thing filling the room as you feel him soften in you. You feel your body go limp as he pulls himself out of you, feeling incredibly empty. You feel the bed dip as he gets off, heading into the bathroom before returning with a wet cloth. Gently, he cleans away any mess, making sure to be careful when he gets to any sensitive areas. Afterwards he places the towel on the nightstand before sitting back on the bed. Your hands gently run over the raised skin of his back, trying to calm the now irritated skin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scratch you so bad,” You felt bad for the marks you left on him. But when he encases your face in between his hands and makes you look into his eyes, you feel a wave of relief take over as he speaks.

“Don’t feel bad princess, you are perfectly fine. If anyone should be apologizing it should be me, I may have been a little rougher than I had originally meant. I didn’t hurt you did I?” A look of worry on his face as he realizes he had sort of lost control. But when you smiled at him he felt a little bit of his stress go away.

“It was perfect. It was better than I ever could have imagined. So thank you.” He slightly smiled while his eyebrow cocked at your statement.

“You say that as if you’ve never been fucked properly before.” He chuckled as he pulled you to lay against his torso. Suddenly a wave of nervousness washed over you as you fiddled with your fingers. He looked down at you. “What is it?”

“Well that would require me to have been fucked before...” You felt him freeze under you.

“You’re kidding right?” You avoided his gaze, but his hand gently grabs your chin pulling you to look up at him. “I wish I would have known.”

“Why, would you have been gentler?” You ask him, worried that he regretted it.

“Of course I would have. It’s your first time. I wouldn’t have gone that all out, I would have held back a bit.”

“Well then I’m glad I didn’t say anything because that...” you pause taking a moment to plant a kiss against his lips. “...was amazing.” He smiled against your lips before pulling you into another kiss, this one much slower and filled with emotion than the ones you had shared before.

“I’m glad that you enjoyed it, next time I’m just going to have to make it up to you.” He brushes your hair out of your face.

“Next time?” You question him and a soft smile spreads across his face as he looks into your eyes.

“Of course, I meant it when I said you never have to worry again. You're my princess, and I’m going to make sure to take good care of you, okay?”

Bold could not be tagged: @terrifying-testicles @loxbbg @mycrennycalromance @skylan666 @wifunozomi @urmomsshousee @kellyyween @niko-su993 @cookednoodlez @guzmagirl @bleakerspath @explicitbun @qunibunisartblog @succulent-momma @anjadolly @bakugou-is-my-daddy @wessoninc @lovinthesiz3 @katsuki-bakubae @hot-pocket01 @sir-knight-slytherdor @katsukiswhore @death-to-the-patriarcy @plusultrabitches @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer @angxlicwanda @ninjafirewitch @hellyeahbakubby @green-beanie-chan @ktsuukki @morenabambinii @kagomefan27 @anxietys-a-bitch @azgucci @theofficialhufflepuff @seungcheolieeesblog @artgirlwithglasses @sleepysuneater @justanormallyabnormalbitch @hsixen @sincerelyyrosemary @liviitehe @arsenic0tine @maddoxrabbit

3K notes · View notes

exosmutfactory · 5 years ago

Text

How I Look On You 002

Chun-hei is stuck between feeling too busy to commit and too young to settle down. And with her bustling book publisher business, bachelors and alike are all swarming around her for a chance at publicity. She’s doing a good job at keeping the men at bay—until Byun Baekhyun, that is. Doesn’t mean he’ll have it easy though.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

The Job

—

I don't believe no one no more

Boy, show me what you're in it for

Been on the low when it comes to love (When it comes, when it comes to love)

Said, "Do you like how I look or just how I look on you?"

—

“Jihun, please handle all my calls while I’m gone and call my mobile in case of emergencies.”

“Yes. Ma’am,” She chirps, periwinkle colored nails tapping steadily on her keyboard. “When can I expect you back?”

“About an hour,” Grabbing my coat, I swiftly slip it on, “I’ll be down at the bank making sure everything is in order.”

“Double checking your account, huh?” She teases, brow raised meaningfully as she peeks over her monitor.

“Of course,” I mumble, buttoning up and straightening my collar, “Those people love to mess my numbers up,” Reaching for my purse, I pause, turning back to her, “Better yet, make that 2.”

“Good thing you’re clear of meetings today.” She chuckles as I stroll by, “Be careful!”

I can’t help but scoff, tossing my hair over my shoulder with a smirk, “I always am.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Kim.” The receptionist must notice the tick in my jaw, quickly checking something on the computer in front of her, “Mr. Lee isn’t here today but I can direct you to our 2nd finest-”

“Please do,” I mumble quietly, already counting the extra 30 minutes that will be added to this whole ordeal.

“He just finished up with his last client,” She tries to soothe, picking up the phone on her desk after punching in a few quick numbers, “Mr. Byun, another client is here to see you. Alright, I’ll send them right away.” Turning back to me, she gestures to the elevators, “Mr. Byun is on the 4th floor, 2nd door to the right.”

“Thank you.” I make my way over to them, sighing inwardly at ache beginning to settle in my heels. 6 years of wearing the same two-inch shoes to work and my flat feet never seem to grow used to it.

Reaching the 4th floor, I step out with light feet, maneuvering around a distracted lady in a suit before knocking politely on the designated door labeled ‘Mr. Byun.’

“Come in,” A deep voice calls. One that brings a shiver down my spine as I twist the knob. Sounds like-

Opening the door, I come face to face with my handsome one night stand; Byun Baekhyun.

His eyes widen in recognition before they narrow; angular jaw ticking in irritation. “Have a seat.”

My brow lifts in challenge, was that an order?

Recognizing the look on my face, he gestures to his desk, “Please.” He clears his throat, a red hue to his cheeks, “Have a seat.”

Shooting him a look, I sit on one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, crossing my legs as he settles into his own seat.

“How may I help you today?” He sets a stack of folders aside, briefly glancing up at me.

“I’m just checking up on a few things.” Catching myself before my eyes linger too long on his slender hands, I focus on the far wall instead. “Making sure the tax money went in and the security of the account.”

Baekhyun asks a few questions and I give him the necessary information, observing his nicely sized office and display of degrees on the wall. A Master’s degree, hmm?

“Everything is in order,” His voice brings me back to the present, my eyes accidentally meeting his, “The taxes went in on time and no unauthorized purchases have been made.”

“Good,” With a little hum, I move to stand, “Thank you, Mr. Byun.”

“-Are you uncomfortable?”

Pausing at the door, I look back at him, “Excuse me?”

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” His voice is void of any emotion, steely eyes reflecting my ablaze ones. “Please, feel free to request someone else next time.”

“You think I’m scared of you?” It takes everything in me to hold back a scoff, especially at the amused quirk of his lips. “Really now?”

He shrugs, “Well you sure seem to be shy around a one night sta-”

I hiss at him, making sure the door is completely shut before walking back to his desk with long strides. “If there is one thing I'm scared of,” I meet his eye, “It’s not you, Byun Baekhyun.”

“You sure do know how to be convincing, Kim Chun-hei.” He says my name mockingly, smirking even more, “Running away right after spending the night with me.”

I roughly plant my hands on his desk, “You are really getting on my nerves. One night stands are exactly that.” His eyes darkened the longer I talk, “No waking up next to each other. No sharing breakfast.” I lean closer, slowly pronouncing every word, “Just fuck and go.”

“What if I don’t want to be a one night stand?” His question is abrupt, firm and demanding. I reel back as if burned, “What?”

“What if I don’t want to be a one night stand?” He stands up, rounding around the desk as I back up, soon finding my back against a wall. “What if I want to see you more?”

“For sex?” I arch a brow.

A wave of emotions crosses his face before his eyes darken even more. “Yes,” Nodding firmly, he cages me to the wall; all firm, warm and enticing. His brown eyes locked onto my own, “I want you.” He licks his lips, eyeing me meaningfully.

“I have to be back by noon,” I mumble, using all my strength not to waver under his stare.

His brows raise in amusement, that wicked tongue of his once again licking his tempting bottom lip, “Give me 30 minutes.”

I scoff, tossing my head to the side with a roll of my eyes, “As if.”

“Fuck,” I sigh, tangling my fingers in his hair and tilting my head back as he trails kisses down my neck, sucking just enough to barely leave any marks, “Baekhyun.”

He hums in reply, setting me on the counter and rolling up my pencil skirt.

“I still can’t stand you,” I insist, already panting at the feeling of his wandering hand sliding up my thigh.

Baekhyun just smirks, planting a kiss behind my ear that causes my whole body to shake, “I know.”

Feeling my panties getting pulled to the side, I lean back against the mirror, closing my eyes as his cool hand meets my hot core.

➽➼►♦⇔♦➽➼►♦⇔♦➽➼►

Sighing, I read over a belligerent email for the 3rd time, trying to figure out a way to reassure the recipient. A soft knock at the door pulling me from the censored words, “Come in.”

“Ms. Kim,” Jihun enters, walking with the grace of a cheetah, her blonde hair up in a perfect bun as always. “You have 3 meetings today-”

“Three?” Frowning, I glance down at the folders she sets on my desk.

“With the board directors, the author, and the bookseller.” Noting my sour expression, she raises a brow, “The seller being petulant again?”

“He’s throwing a hissy fit every week,” I groan, running my hand through my hair. “He knows the rules yet insists to bend them, it’s ridiculous.”

She sets down a coffee mug as well before taking a seat, “What’s is it this time?”

“He’s demanding to lead the whole process,” I mumble, squeezing my stress ball. “Because he ‘has the experience’ I don't care how experienced he is! His job is to sell books, not be breathing down mine and our workers’ neck!”

“Experience nothing, he has been working here barely 6 months.” Jihun points out, crossing her legs.

“Exactly,” I sigh, taking a tentative sip of mocha, “I don’t know how to break it to him and not seem...you know.”

“You make twice as much as him and this is your company,” Organizing the folders, she regards me with a level eye, “Tell him straight up either do what is expected of him or find another job. And trust me, you’re offering the most for his position in a 300-mile radius. He will yield.”

“Are you sure?” Eyeing her with a wary expression, I take another sip, “I rather not have to search for another seller at the last minute.”

“I’m positive.” Coming to stand by my shoulder, she assists in typing up a reply, looking it over with firm nods and hums. “If he knows what’s good for his paycheck, he’ll heed this warning.”

“Jihun, you’re the best,” I sigh, relaxing back in my chair.

She smiles, a teasing glint in her eyes, “I try.”

Recognizing the look on her face I shake my head, “No.”

“You sure are glowing these days,” She muses, looking me over as I paint a nonchalant expression on my face. “I’d swear it was a pregnancy aura if I didn’t know you well.”

Strangling a bit on a hot sip of mocha, I set down the cup, eyeing her with blank eyes, “I’ve been sleeping well lately.”

“Yeah,” She breezily agrees, pushing my hair back and revealing the faint trace of a hickey on my neck, “Not alone either.”

Turning a little red I lightly swat her hand away, tugging my hair back into place. “I have been...in good company.”

“Recently too,” She observes; cheeky grin not leaving her face, “Whose the lucky guy?”

Looking down at my mug as if it’ll save me, I give up with a sigh, flicking my eyes back to hers, “Baekhyun.”

“Baekhyun?” Her perfectly shaped brows crinkle in confusion, eyes moving back and forth in thought. Her head pops up; eyes wide, “The guy from the bar, Baekhyun?”

Nodding a little, I groan at the disbelieving look on her face. “Yes, that’s the one.”

“How did you two...” She eyes me with concern, “Meet again? You didn’t leave your number, right?”

Remembering the adorable look of betrayal on his face, I sigh, “Of course not. I met him down at the bank.” Leaning back and crossing my arms, I carefully take in the emotions crossing her face.

Her brow raises, “Investing?”

I wish. “He’s an accountant.”

“An accountant!?-” Glancing over her shoulder at the closed door, she leans closer, whispering, “Wait, so that day you came back an hour late...”

“Yeah?..” Aimlessly clicking around my computer, I inwardly kick myself.

“And you were limping...”

Sighing loudly before rubbing my hand down my face, I mumble in defeat, “Yeah...”

Jihun whistles. “Wow...dick too bomb, huh?”

Giggling despite myself, I nod, easily returning her knowing grin. “You know it.”

By the end of the day, I’ve gone through three more mugs of chocolatey goodness before I’m free. The cool breeze of late fall has never felt better.

Pulling my coat tighter around my form, I march down to the parking garage, grumbling at the bone-chilling wind. Once again a 67-degree, cloudless day prediction by the weatherman has turned into a barely 50-degree overcast horror of strong wind and chances of rain.

Barely three steps away from my car, the winded is knocked out of me; my back soon meeting a stone-cold wall.

“Fuck.” I hiss, glaring up at the chuckling fucker responsible. “Seojun,” I utter lowly; words catching in my throat.

“Hey baby,” He coos, cupping my cheek with an ice-cold hand that leaves me flinching, “Missed me?”

“Funny of you to ask,” I plaster on a bright smile that doesn’t meet my eyes, “Considering the fact that I haven’t even heard from you in-huh-10 months.”

“Aw Chun, you know I have business to attend to,” He pouts, insincerely, grinning like a Cheshire cat afterward, “Modeling isn’t just all about good looks-”

“Get off me.” I keep my eyes focused on the floor, just the thought of meeting his gaze making the last of my lunch come back up.

“What?” He asks as if surprised; unwarranted offense clear in his tone. I clench my jaw to hold back a wince when he grips it painfully tight. “What did you say?”

“She clearly told you to get off her,” Another voice echoes across the garage. A familiar head of obsidian hair rounding the corner to where we are partially hidden from view.

Seojun slightly turns to face the man as I try to hide in the shadows, “And who the fuck are you?”

“Her lawyer,” Baekhyun holds his gaze with a level look, fitting the part with his three-piece suit and a brown, worn-in leather bag tucked under his arm. “I suggest you leave before we press charges.”

Seojun scoffs. “As if anyone would believe some washed-up playboy over a celebrity.”

Baekhyun’s jaw clenches and I am filled with dread of what may come out his mouth.

“Well, they sure will believe hardcore evidence.” My wide eyes flicker over to Jihun as she steps into view; waving her phone with a forced smile on her face, “You wouldn’t want to be labeled as a harasser before your big runway event, hmm?”

Seojun looks between us all and I hold my breath, closing my eyes when he shoves me against the wall before storming away. The instant his footsteps fade, a click of heels fills the garage, “Chun-hei are you okay?”

Sighing out my nose, I open my eyes, “Yeah,” Cracking a grin I avoid her worried gaze and Baekhyun’s questioning eyes, “He was just being an ass.”

“Exes are the worst,” Jihun softly replies, grabbing my arm, “Come on, let’s go to your favorite ice cream parlor.”

“It’s cold as hell,” I whine, jumping when a chuckle caresses the back of my ear.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun emerges, joining my other side as Jihun leads me to my car. “I’m really in the mood for strawberry.”

“Funny how you too share a favorite flavor,” Jihun notes, looking between the two of us with a knowing smile.

“At least we don’t crave pints of green tea on a regular basis,” Unlocking my car, I gently brush away leaves from the window of my red Kia Cadenza.

“At least I know how to try out new flavors to expand my horizon, you uncultured heathen,” She rebukes, crossing her arms.

“It’s actually quite nice,” Baekhyun supplies, blinking when we both turn to him with amused and betrayed eyes, “What?”

“Score one for me,” Jihun singsongs, dancing off to her white Prius.

“Score one for me too,” I huff, stepping into my vehicle. Noting Baekhyun still standing there, I raise a brow at him, “Will you be joining us?”

He grins, “I gladly would, but my car is in the shop, so,” Smiling sheepishly, he shoves his hands in his pockets, “I should be getting home.”

I clear my throat. “Alright.” Disappointment fills my chest and I don’t know why.

He smiles, taking a few steps back before walking away.

“...Baekhyun?” I call.

He turns back, raising a brow and I feel silly for what I’m about to do. But I’ve already begun to seal my fate, so, “Hop in.”

“It’s not that funny,” I mumble at a laughing Baekhyun; carefully pulling his ice cream closer to the center of the table to avoid any accidents. I’m starting to wish Jihun didn’t have to rush back to the company “for reasons.” That sly fox.

“The guy has been working there for less than a year and expects you to hand everything over to him?” He snorts, covering his boxy grin as his spoon dangles from his slender fingers.

“I know right,” Sighing I take another spoonful of ice cream, humming at the creamy goodness, “I’m the CEO and Director, I’m pretty sure there’s no way he can handle both-or even one-of those positions.” Chuckling to myself I dig around for another cherry.

“Wait,” Baekhyun’s suddenly serious tone has my eyes slowly lifting to his, “You’re a CEO?”

Well, shit. “Yeah,” I drawl, taking another bite, “You didn’t know?”

He shakes his head, honest confusion in his brown orbs.

Sitting straighter, I mutter with a blank expression, “I’m the head of Kim Publishing.”

I expected a few things to happen—a gasp; a jaw drop; an exclamation of disbelief—but Baekhyun just leans back with a hand over his face. “Here I was thinking you were a lawyer or an undeniably sexy principal, but a CEO?” He groans, rubbing his hand down his face before peeking at me with eyes filled with a look I know all too well, “You just keep surprising me, Doll.”

“Do you even know my age?” I deadpan, ignoring the slight flutter in my chest.

He looks me over for a moment, “...23?”

I choke a bit on my dessert. “I’m 28.” And I'm flattered, really.

“You don’t look a day over 20,” He smiles, an expression that quickly falls off his lips when I deliberately lick every trace of ice cream from my spoon.

“Trust me,” I purr, leaning over the small table to stare him down and loosen his tie, “I can do a lot more than any 20 year old ever could.”

Baekhyun’s eyes are that dark shade of brown that I adore the most. He slaps a couple of dollar bills on the table before taking my hand and leading me out the parlor. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Giggling, I make sure no paparazzi is around while I'm lead back to the car. Licking my lips when Baekhyun climbs into the backseat and unbuttons his shirt; gazing at me with that knee-weakening smirk.

Leaving every bad memory at the door, I climb onto his lap and let him rock my world, and—ultimately—the car as well.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

A quick author's note:

Hi! Thank you for the support!

This fic may seem very fast-paced—it kind of is—but things will be slowing a bit down for the remaining chapters.

In other words, trouble is coming.

See you!~

#baekhyun smut #baekhyun romance #baekhyun angst #lets see if I can actually finish this in 5 weeks lmao

45 notes · View notes

veridium · 6 years ago

Text

dirty little secret

WOAH BOY. I did not expect such a quick turn around, but when you’re writing sweet, sweet friendship, shit happens. thanks to @bitchesofostwick and her fabulous writing that got my gears going.

I have been wanting to use an all-american-rejects ref as a title since we started and now, here I am!

on this episode...Olivia awakens to find Ellinor wearing a strange fleece (HM??). BUT, that is not the only incident that surprises her, as a message left on her door gives her cause for concern.

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9 // part 10 // part 11

Her cell phone alarm goes off as it always does on wednesday: 7:30, just enough time to get her shit together before her 10am lecture. However, as she revisits the text she got the night before from Ellinor, it also becomes a beautiful morning for hearing all about her “group project meeting.” Luckily she doesn’t have to travel far, or bother with pants. Wearing an over-sized, old All-American Rejects tour shirt she thrifted a year ago, she fits the bill when lastly she slips on her pink fuzzy slippers -- the only items of her wardrobe she would accept in such a color. She then wanders a few doors down to Ellinor’s and Sera’s room. Sera is gone for a few days on some road trip to one of her many hair-brained destinations, so Olivia has no minced feelings about knocking loudly.

Knock, knock, knock. Nothing.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. Nothing again.

“Knock, knock, bitch, get up! We need coffee!”

The door rips open, and a face with slight drool on the corner of her mouth and hair tousled over her eyes appears. But, it’s not her expression that Olivia’s eyes fixate on like a moth to a fleece flame.

A Knight athletic fleece, the expensive one.

“Good morning sunsh--shit, is that…”

Ellinor jerks her chin down, suddenly coherent. Her brow furrows and she whirls around to retreat back into her lair, mumbling things while she lazily swings the door shut. Olivia, of course, slaps her hand on it and waves it open with gusto.

“Ellinor Trev--”

“NO.”

“Is he in here?!” she skips in, looking around in all corners and nooks as if Cullen is compactible like a lawn chair or something. “Oh, God dammit, I never catch your lovers! No fair!”

Ellinor crawls back under her covers and pulls them up over her head. Interestingly, she does not forsake the fleece sweatshirt that has seemed to magically exist out of nowhere.

“Is that his…”

“Mmph.”

“So it IS. You’re a filthy liar! You said you didn’t do anything in your text, I got receipts!” Olivia promptly hops onto the lower side of the twin mattress, curling her legs up under her sideways.

“I didn’t do anything. I meant it. I just...this...it was cold, okay! Why does everyone think I am magically not cold susceptible? I have questionable circulation…” she half-whines the last part, before squirming into her pillow some more like a burrowing naked mole rat.

Olivia hums, not convinced. “You got some explaining to do, and this calls for extra strong coffee. And scones. I want every detail. I’m gonna throw on some sweats or something, I won’t be long.” The casual mood she has yesterday with Cassandra has carried over through a full night’s sleep, and Olivia feels all the pomp and makeup of her typical routine to be unnecessary for once. She swats on the bump in the comforter she suspects is Ellinor’s ass before hopping back onto her feet and out into the hallway. She’ll be back to wrangle her soon enough out of the depths of her ironic despair.

Scooting her poof-slippered feet out into the hall she spots her door half-shut. Only, it’s not her door -- not the way she remembers it, anyhow. There’s...papers? Taped on it just above the doorknob. Posted notes and event reminders aren’t exactly unheard of in dorm halls, but as she walks she scans the other shut and locked doors -- nothing. Just hers has stuff on it.

When she arrives she yanks off the posted paper and notices some hastily copy/pasted clipart of some crosses mounted on a hillside. Her stomach churns as she reads the message. It’s a pamphlet-esque flyer asking the reader if their soul has been saved, and if not, resources in order to accomplish that. On the back there’s a scripture excerpt as the header, and then a list of every Church in the city limits with their contact information and addresses. It has the design skills of a 4th grader who’s project is due the morning after and all they have to use is Microsoft Word 2003.

And on the very bottom, handwritten for that special touch: “For the Slut in 21C.”

She looks both ways down the end of the hall and sees no one lurking, though the hair on the back of her neck stands up. The faces of those Church preps that pouted at her when she was on Cassandra’s bike pop into her head. Oh, it would be an interesting coffee sesh indeed.

What had originally been intentions to come outside casual and no muss, no fuss, turned into a black knit oversized sweater dress, thigh-high black velvet boot stilettos, and loose curls with a full face of sharp makeup. She looks like an insta model out in the light of day instead of in her cardboard box, but it is better this way: people don’t fuck with her.

They get their coffee downtown and walk out onto the sidewalk. She has class in 30 minutes, anyway. Ellinor is holding the flyer in her hand, though it’s bent outta shape from Olivia’s wrath.

“I don’t know, Liv. It is kind of concerning that they know where your dorm is. Isn’t that a hate crime if it’s targeting a member of a targeted group?”

“Biphobia getting treated as biphobia instead of ‘free speech’ discussing sexual behavior that both straights and gays sneer at? In this economy?” Olivia slips her own shades on and shoves the forsaken paper into her bag. “And besides, my dorm is easy to find out. All they’d need is one person to see me walking in, or one person who lives in the same hall as me.”

Ellinor slurps her hot matcha latte and hands it over to her, before pulling her aviator shades down from atop her head of a loose braid crown. She slides her arm through the second shoulder strap of her backpack.

Olivia is steeping. On the surface she looks straight up pissed, which is intentional. But deep down she’s nervous. This was more than she signed up for.

“What are you going to do then? It’s obvious this has to do with you hanging out with her. This is bullshit. if I was there when those punks came into the dorm, I would have shoved my timbs so far up their pastey Jesus mayo asses that….that...gah! Just really far, okay?” Ellinor grumbles and sips as they near the corner. She hasn’t had enough caffeine yet.

Olivia veers to the left and punches the crosswalk button. She reaches into her back searching for her keys as she spots her black mini cooper parked on the curb a block from them.

“I don’t know what the fuck to do! I feel like I’ve become this Scarlet Letter for something I haven’t even done. It’d be different if we had actually, like...did stuff. But she is so prim and…” the crosswalk signals walk, and they push onward. “She goes from this super interested and focused person to hands-off and out the door faster than I can get my eyeliner wings to match.”

Olivia walks faster as Ellinor hones in on the passenger door facing the curb. “Woah that’s...that’s pretty fast.”

“You think?” Olivia faces her over the car hood as she hits the car alarm button, making the headlights flash. She unlocks fast and eyes both ends of the street for surveilling gazes before sliding in.

“At least with Cullen...” Olivia tries to keep her conversation going while settling in, tossing her bag over her head. She slides her key into the ignition and checks her mirror. Ellinor slides her drink into the center console and pulls her seat belt. She’ll need it -- Olivia has a love of driving, and that love translates into speed and mastery of a stick shift.

“At least with Cullen, what?” Ellinor replies, dreading it already.

Olivia bites her lip and eyes her. “You know...at least…” she slumps forward against her steering wheel. “At least you know what his intentions are...I mean, were, for you. He was pursuing you. He wanted to do...to do things with you.” Her tone has gotten less spirited and more melancholy. Enough for Ellinor’s initial defensive pouty face to melt into sympathy. Though, Olivia worries if it’s less sympathy and more soreness at being reminded of what she tossed up.

Dammit, Liv, she thinks to herself. Ellinor isn’t as tough as she plays.

“Well...I think she really does like you,” Ellinor comforts after a pause, her gregarious personality trying its best to rally.

Olivia twists the key to start. The engine grinds and then starts with ease, and she clutches the stick shift with her manicured hand covered in black, dramatic rings on almost every finger.

“I know she likes me. What I meant was, like...you know.”

“You said she asked if she had another...didn’t she call it a ‘shot’ or something?”

“Yeah, but, I don’t--”

“Liv, I don’t know anyone who would ask if they could be friends with someone by asking if they had another shot. Remember how we met?”

Olivia looks at her windshield and snorts. “Yeah. You asked if I had time to talk about our Lord and Savior Gerard Way at a freshman ice cream social of all fucking places. Then I sat on my retainer.”

“Hah,” Ellinor sits back, elbow on the door. “Exactly. Not ‘Do I have a shot?’”

Ellinor, in her particular brand of eloquence, has a point. Cassandra is one of the most intentional people Olivia has ever met. She doesn’t even sneeze out of line. And she doesn’t strike Olivia as the kind of person to sit idle while the things and the people she wants float on by. But, there’s something still hanging her up on it all. An unspeakable hesitancy that comes from having one foot in and one foot out the door.

“I just wish she like...did the thing.”

“Thing? What thing?”

Olivia pulls the car into gear and puts her hands on the wheel, staring out her side mirror for oncoming traffic. “You know, like, there’s a thing queer people do when they want to drop their queerness on the radar. Say you loved the new Hayley Kiyoko single, or...shit, like, you went to Pride last summer and had a blast. Something.”

“Cassandra Pentaghast at Pride? Even if she’s 1/24th lady-lover, dude, I doubt she’d be down.”

“Yeah because that’s how it works, Ellinor,” Olivia chuckles and pulls into the lane, clutches and shifts into gear again as she accelerates. “It’s just like...okay, you know what I mean. Something. Just a little tidbit. Like...letting me go home with a fleece sweatshirt.”

She only has to side-eye her once to see Ellinor’s cheeks go deep with blush, her lips rolling shut.

Olivia raises a brow and adjusts her large, round black sunglasses. “Mhm.”

“Look, I said what I said. It was cold.”

“Fine, fine. I’m only holding off on hounding you ‘cause I know you have to see him again. I can almost see his face watching you leave with it. Ugh, good shit.”

Ellinor slaps her on the arm before grabbing her drink. “It wasn’t like that, dammit.”

“Not when you were looking it wasn’t,” Olivia continues to tease in that sultry tone. “But…’as she walked off, her figure becoming shapeless in the dark and only traceable by lamp light, I knew that she took a piece of my with her...a piece, of fleece…’”

“GOD you are HORRIBLE!” Ellinor’s laugh gets louder the longer Olivia does her act. The ‘poetry recitation’ voice Olivia does is too good, too pure even in its mortification. She laughs, too, as they turn onto the boulevard which will take them directly to campus.

“You talk a good story for a cynic,” Ellinor settles down, resting her knee against the door. The woman can’t sit right in any chair to save her life.

Olivia smirks as she turns her signal on, the car arriving at the light before the campus entrance. “My Mom had those movies on all day when I was a kid, okay. I internalized that trash in between Blue’s Clues episodes.”

“Ugh, I forgot, my bad.”

They pull in and drive past all the pretty red brick building tops, and people walking with backpacks on the sidewalks or running with shorts and tanks on. Olivia notices a jogger weaving through the pairings of people walking to class and she remembers the way Cassandra looked on the soccer fields, back when she was just a tall, dark, and beautiful stranger she could pretend was all these things. Never could she have foreseen this all unfolding, but a part of her misses when it was all a mystery. When it was a mystery, she could believe that Cassandra was for sure into girls. Now, she is attached to finding out the truth, and the truth might not be so kind.

They pull up into one of the Blue parking lots and by some miracle, someone is pulling out in time for her to snag the spot. She turns in and puts it into park.

“Tits up, girl,” Ellinor sighs, grabbing for her things as Olivia turns the key back, the engine going quiet. They both adjust their bras on cue at her word.

“You’re hiding that fleece in your backpack, aren’t you?” Olivia eyes the bag, a little swollen in shape.

Ellinor glares at her. “No.”

“Ellinor,” Olivia giggles, as she pulls her drink up out of the cupholder. “You don’t want to give it back. Admit it.”

“I admit…!” she looks away for a moment and composes herself. “I...am not the owner of this garment, and I will not be keeping it. It was borrowed. I said I would give it to him during class.”

“Mhmm,” Olivia hums again, reaching for the door. Before she does, though, Ellinor is not done with her side of questioning.

“You gonna tell her what happened?”

“Why should I? What is she gonna do, challenge all the preps to a duel on quad? It’s not gonna change anything. Don’t tell Cullen, either. I’m gonna...handle it. It’ll be fine.”

Ellinor rolls her eyes. “Look, I’m not any of your horoscope apps, but the Cassandra I saw last night staring down a guy stick up for someone she barely knows, seems like the kind of person who’d like to know if people are messing with her girl.”

The phrase ‘her girl’ makes Olivia’s stomach erupt into butterflies, and she blushes and looks away towards her window. Thank goodness for giant sunglasses.

“This isn’t High School. I’m not ‘her girl,’ I’m her friend. And a friend who could quickly turn out to be more work than she wanted to deal with when she realizes all her peers want to burn her at the stake.”

“Over my dead body,” Ellinor says, before grabbing Olivia on her forearm as she tries to get out for the car. “Hey, I mean it. If it’s not Cass, it’s me grabbing a crowbar, alright? Just say when and where to aim.”

Olivia looks back at her and her lower lip curdles. “Aw, Ellinor…” she tilts her head, “you do have affectionate emotions….?”

Ellinor quickly scoffs and pushes her. Back to normal in an instant. They get out, and Olivia locks the door. Slinging her bag on her shoulder she looks around again, slightly paranoid despite her cool exterior. No pastel polo shirts and no french braid pigtails. No woman in a black long-sleeve with pants and a pixie cut. For once, she’s relieved on both fronts, and walks with Ellinor down the way towards their respective lecture halls.

On the way, OIivia elbows her in the shoulder, a sly smile on her black lips. “Thanks, babe.”

Later that day --

-- Hey, you didn’t say whether you’d come with to the gala next weekend. I need confirmation!!

-- Ellinor: I can, but I’m not going to! You already have someone who can go!

-- That is the opposite of what I have! I’m not inviting her. Ughhh don’t do this to me I’ll cry.

-- Ellinor: [Kim Kardashian Tragic GIF]

-- You’re the worst. How did Cullen act when you gave back the sweater?

✓ READ AT 4:12PM

If she weren’t in the library, she would have screeched like a harpie. As it was, she was not in the place or the time to do so, so her catharsis would have to wait. She shoved her phone in her bra and goes back to collecting her arms worth of books. They aren’t for her this time -- a Professor she’s TA-ing for wanted to scan and make copies of chapters for students, and asked her to do it while they...well, do Professor things.

Such as TA’s did, and Liv being a TA as a third year undergrad was an esteemed vote of confidence she did not shirk.

She comes around the aisle she’s in and decides to cut through to the stairwell. She’s down two floors from the ground level where the checkout desk is, a level that separates the boys from the men in terms of archival dedication. She balances the six or so books of varying densities, wondering how close they are to weighing the same as her.

Around another corner and she comes upon a cluster of single-seat study desks -- you know, the kind that only libraries have, with soft wood and worn out, grey-blue upholstery. A couple heads bob up from their stationed spots at them and she pays them no mind. That is, until she sees a blonde head. Blonde, wavy head.

“C...Cullen?” she says, and is promptly shh’d by someone else. Cullen himself looks up from his desk and laptop, and grins.

“Oliv--” another shh, and he gives them a pointed stare of come on man, before pushing his chair back. “How you been?”

She bobs from foot to foot carrying the stack in both her hands. “Uh, good! Good, just, doing some TA work.”

“Oh, nice. Cassandra mentioned you TA for Professor...uh, their name esca--”

“Erickson. Professor Erickson,” she smiles. “Just for the intro to political and economic theory classes. It’s not a big thing.” It was and is a big deal. The Political Science department has a huge group of grad students who could TA or assist courses, and they often do. Taking in an undergrad for a TA position meant that undergrad could do the work they did with Bachelor’s degrees, and sometimes even Master’s degrees, under their belt. Her parents didn’t stop talking about it like that for a month after she was invited by Erickson to fill the position. Though, they made it more pompous-sounding than she would have liked.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know. Cassandra is the only other undergrad I know who TA’s.”

“She...she TA’s?”

He looks at her and his brows go together. In a sort of, ‘yeah, of course’ kind of way. Like she was supposed to know that.

“Uh, yeah! In Philosophy, I think.” Figures. The woman breathes and spews philosophy and english lit fervor like Shakespeare has used her for a horcrux. It’s...annoying. And...wonderful.

“Ah, yeah, I think she mentioned that,” she lies, and tucks hair behind her ear while balancing the stack nervously in the other arm.

“You uh, you need help with that?” he gestures to get up, but she shakes her head vehemently.

“No, no,” she replies, smiling again. “It’s fine. I need the conditioning for dance, anyways. How is your group project going?”

He grins and looks back to his desk, blinking fast. He shouldn’t have to say, she already knows. But, it’s the kindness that counts. “Oh, yeah, it’s going good. Group projects, you know. They...they are what they are.”

“Yeah, but, at least it’s with Ellinor right? It’s always better with…” she catches herself, bits her smiling lip, and looks away too. Damn, didn’t think that one through.

“It’s better with people you know, right, I gotcha,” he finishes and puts her out of her misery. He’s a good guy -- he doesn’t let anyone hang out on a limb by themselves, even if he’s a bit awkward in his solidarity. It’s easy being in his presence despite the underlying melancholy.

“Yeah, right! Sorry, my head is fried from today. Look, don’t be a stranger. Come by anytime.” she sounds like she has a house with a picket fence and not a hole-in-the-wall dorm room. The olive branch didn’t fit the ecosystem.

He smiles crookedly and nods. “For sure. Yeah. You have a safe walk back with those books.”

“Oh you know, what’s a fall down some stairs?”

He chuckles and waves his hand casually. “Whatever you say.”

She waves back and sees herself off. A couple yards away from him and she spots the staircase, she reaches in her shoulder bag while keeping her eyes on the sign that says “TO LEVEL B,” feeling for her phone and attached headphones. The papers and pack of gum get shoved in and out, and the smooth plastic of her case finally turns up. She yanks it out before the stack of books in her hand fall apart. The sound and sensation of something falling behind her to the ground pries at the back of her head, but she ignores it -- the books are heavy, and the stairs are gonna be a pain in the ass, and that pain will pale in comparison to copying individual chapters 40 copies each.

She reaches the checkout desk after a grueling journey up two flights and through another plethora of shelf rows. While catching her breath against the desk, she checks her phone. A new message sent 15 minutes prior.

Cassandra: Hey. I’m going to be grading practice midterms Friday afternoon at my TA office in Henderson Hall. I thought maybe you would have a similar workload? Want to keep each other company?

Keep each other company. How sexy. Had she said she TA’d, and Olivia just never caught that detail? That would have been something she’d remember. Oh, wait, they were talking about course-loads at one point during a walk to classes...oh, shit, that was the day Cassandra wore a blazer and took it off as she was walking and was so smooth while doing so and...and...oh. God, Olivia is too bisexual to function.

She looks up and scans the room, her gaze out of focus while she thinks. No, she has no reason to! She can deny her this once, what, does she come at her beck and call now? She has no work to do anyw--

Her email ding goes off. It’s Professor Erickson:

Hi Olivia,

My mother is in the hospital and we are heading out of town to see her. I know it’s short notice, but could you grade the stack of bibliographies in my inbox before Monday and hand them out on that day’s class? I promised the students. Just markup for Chicago style and make sure they have the 3 required sources and 2 outside, and nothing looks iffy. I’m going to cancel Friday’s class.

I might be out until middle of next week. Monday is just a hand-back day, so don’t worry about keeping them entertained after they get their work. Play a movie, maybe. Nothing too radically bootlegged, please.

Don’t worry about the chapter copies. Those aren’t needed until next Wednesday, and if you can’t get to them I will finish what you don’t. Good job today by the way explaining to that one student the difference between socialism and democratic-socialism. You are getting more concise!

Thanks!

Sent from my Iphone

Professors. The nerve. They emailed on phones even when it was a long-ass message, and yet threw fits when students didn’t title their emails with anything less than an oath to name their firstborn child after them. Erickson wasn’t that bad, though. A fun guy -- a bit too into loafers -- but a fun guy, and amazing Professor. And she was getting paid, which helped.

She rolls her eyes closed and groans so deep the poor library work study student flinches. She looks at them apologetically before turning her attention back to her phone.

-- Hey. Sure, but I can’t stay very long. What time?

Cassandra: Cool, no worries. Say around 6?

-- Yeah, that works. Henderson is that long building by bio sciences, right?

Cassandra: Actually, it’s the one to the left of quad. Big archway entrance. I’ll be at my desk in 10E.

Olivia sighs. Great, a big building on quad. In front of everyone. Open season continues for her. 6:00pm on a Friday? Why that time? Surely if they were exams they were not going to be handed back over the weekend. Did Cassandra have a life that wasn’t work, sport, and more work?

-- Right, I forgot. Whoops. Okay, see you then!

Cassandra: Awesome. See you.

Cassandra: Oh, also -- this song came up on my shuffle. It’s an old one, but it’s Adele. I would appreciate if you listened to it. I think you’d like it.

Another chance for a ‘sign’ thwarted. As promised, she sends the link to a song and it is, in fact, Adele. Adele. Olivia pouts to herself. Adele is a beautiful singer, but her songs tend to sound the same to her sometimes. One of those ‘you listen to one, you listen to them all,’ kinda deals. The song is entitled “Water Under The Bridge.” Olivia had hoped it would at least be one of the romantic ones, but it hardly sounds like a profession of love or crushing. Her frustration continues to grow in her mind, and she clicks her phone to lock.

“Alright, Ma’am, that’s it! They’re due back October 7th!” The woman on the other side of the table shoves the plastic bag of books. What a blessing to have them in a bag. She smiles, says thanks, and heads out the door into the open air of dusk. As she walks back to Jefferson Hall a few minutes away, she can’t help but look over her shoulder ever so often, hand clutching her keys in her bag. But, no one approaches or even appears, and as she gets in the door to her own academic building, it feels like it’s all in her head.

It’ll blow over. No big deal. Just have to pretend it doesn’t bother me.

She gets into the elevator and hits the #3. Thankfully, she, too, has an office to hull up in.

#update #college au #adventures of ellinor and olivia #ellinor trevelyan #olivia sinclair #modern!olivia #cullen rutherford #cassandra pentaghast #thedas modern au #GOD THIS IS JUST AHHHHHH #OLIVIA STOP BEING SO DIFFICULT #DAMMIT #ALSO ADELE IS AMAZING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU #THIS IS NOT HOW I RAISED YOU

31 notes · View notes

pardonmystardust · 5 years ago

Note

40 42 56 62 65 67 70 71 78

Oh gosh. Okay.

40: Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

You know what, we don’t talk about this. Lol yes. Most of them I’ve kept private, but I did share a poem once with this girl when I was a freshman in high school. It was sweet and well intentioned, but frankly creepy considering how little we knew each other at the time. We got to be pretty good friends throughout high school and were able to laugh about it but yeah, that one’s in my cringe compilation.

42: How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Why don’t you come and find out? But in all honesty, both of the people that I’ve been with in an in-person romantic relationship, we’d had conversations about comfort levels and boundaries ahead of time, and hand wandering wasn’t really part of what we had so I just… didn’t. If I knew my person was cool with it and we were in the mood though? I still think I’d want to play it out, enjoy the moment for what it is before escalating it.

56: State 8 facts about your body

1- the first tattoo I got was when I was 18. It’s a text piece on my chest in a scripted font that says “I want my life to be the greatest story. My very existence will be the greatest poem. Watch me burn. -C.E.” C.E. is Charlotte Eriksson, a writer that touched me deeply when I was at a pivotal point in my life, and whose music (released under her artist name The Glass Child) remains some of the most cherished sounds in my personhood.

2- Yes I’m going to cheat and take up two more facts just going through my tattoos. The next two are on my shoulders, and I got them in late January or early February of… 2018? I think? I know it was around my birthday. Anyway, they’re both images of the album artwork from two albums by an Icelandic post-rock band named Sigur Rós.

3- My 4th and favorite tattoo is on my left thigh. It’s a greyscale piece with lighter shaded tree trunks in the background, and darker, more detailed branches in the foreground, some of which come together to form the word hello. It’s also a nod to an artist that’s touched me; this one is an allusion to a song called Trees by Twenty One Pilots. I’ve seen 5 of their shows by now and they always end with this song, and it’s such an emotionally charged moment. The song itself means a lot of things to a lot of people, but it’s fundamentally about searching for something. For me, it’s about searching for recognition. It’s about the desire to reconnect with people in my life whom I’ve lost- to their death, to our ending badly, or to the simple passage of time leaving us acquaintances who struggle to get past the niceties to say something real- people who have known me in the past as one thing, and who I want to recognize some form of growth in me and to see me as something new. Look at me, I’ve changed, I’ve become something better. Can’t you see? I did this because of you.

4- I’ve an innie belly button

5- My fingernails are really strong and I’ve always had to cut them with the big sized trimmers meant for toenails.

6- It hasn’t happened in a while, but in the past I’ve had horrible problems with cramps and muscle spasms in my lower back that left me unable to stand.

7- I wish my hair grew faster

8- I’m not flexible at all- even when I was in shape for real, I’ve never been able to touch my toes.

62: What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

This is where my answers get boring, because I just don’t have the experience to know. But just off the top of my head, I love the idea of exploring one another while we’re both blindfolded, and navigating our way around one another’s bodies by touch alone.

65: What is your favorite foreplay routine?

Does cuddling count? Like maybe we’re just spooning and then the little spoon notices… something? And just sort of starts to rub against it and just slowly. slowly escalating from there.

67: What is your idea of the perfect date?

Gosh, I’ve given this thought over the years and it seems like it’s always shifting. I think a really good movie or play has to be involved. I’m an emotional sucker and a childish idealist and if something can get me in that elevated headspace I’m going to be so much more prone to projecting big love onto the person there with me. But also, stargazing? Laying still long enough for our eyes to adjust to the darkness until we see more faint spots then we did at first. Making shitty analogies about how we want to be with one another long enough to learn more than others can see. Tell me what it inspires in you to gaze out into the inky depth above us, what you think is out there, what you think it means. While you’re talking I’ll nuzzle up close just to feel your voice reverberate through your chest and lull me into a deep sense of comfort. Let me fall asleep on you and don’t move. Uuhhhhhhhh yeah I’m gay lol.

70: What turns you on?

Attention to detail. Pay attention to me and show me that you’re paying attention to me. Learn what I want, fundamentally as a person, what motivates me in how I carry myself through this life, what I think I’m here for, and show me a microcosm of it in everything you do.

71: What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Oh gosh, I really don’t remember nearly enough of it. All I really remember is the taste and feeling of cold watermelon, with the juice running down my chin and chest, and I remember waking up and knowing I’d had a wet dream and trying to slip back into it without success.

78: What’s your dirtiest secret?

…you know what, after starting to type this out… I’ll message you lmao

2 notes · View notes

redgreenbluesforloco · 6 years ago

Text

Asahi feature on how Akiko overcame anorexia to become National Champion in 2013

Trigger warning for a detailed account of Akiko’s struggle with an eating disorder (anorexia nervosa), including physical and psychological effects. {Note: I’m not at all an experienced jpn to eng translator, and this is my first time translating such a long article on a complex subject. The phrasing may be awkward and there may be some mistakes. If you notice any, please do let me know.}

Content under the cut: Main article + Akiko’s letter to her mother + a segment on the correlation between the “athletic mentality” and eating disorders and what kind of support is available in Japan to those suffering from EDs

Her weight having once been as low as 32kg, Akiko was able to return to the ice

As the sound of Phantom of the Opera filled the arena, she landed clean combination jumps in sync with the music. Even on this final battle, she displayed a rich variety of expressions as she danced. Once she struck the final pose, her hands clenched into fists and she let her arms drop. During the four minutes of her free skate, there had been no mistakes.

It was at the National Championships on the 23rd of December, 2013, that the Olympic representatives would also be decided. Having come from 2nd place in the SP into the FS, Akiko Suzuki (33) had tears streaming down her face. “It’s been a long time, but I’m glad I’ve skated for this long.”

When she was 18, she developed an eating disorder. For over half a year, she was in a state that made it impossible to skate at all. She was able to make a recovery after hitting rock bottom, and now, in a surprise victory, managed to place 1st, scoring very high marks in the FS. She had secured a place in the Olympics for the 2nd time. Her mother, Keiko (68), who had been watching the performance, was overcome with emotion: “I guess Gods do reward you in the end.”

Akiko started skating when she was 6 years old. She had been learning many things, but what she wanted to pursue was skating. From her home in Toyohashi (Aichi prefecture) she’d go to train in a rink in Nagoya. When her father Kazunori (71) and Keiko, who ran a restaurant, were busy, one of their regular customers would sometimes pick her up at the rink. The food served was mainly Japanese cuisine.

During summer and winter vacations after she started middle school, she’d go to a training camp to be instructed by Coach Hiroshi Nagakubo. Her jumping technique was lackluster, but she loved to dance. What set her apart was her exquisite expressive ability. On her 1st and 2nd years of high school she placed 4th twice in a row in the National Championships. People’s expectations of her future grew.  

After graduating high school, she went on to attend Tohoku Fukushi university in Sendai, and decided to tackle skating in Coach Nakubo’s home base. At the same time, her peers from the same hometown of Aichi, Miki Ando and Yukari Nakano, were living abroad on and off to train.

In March of 2003, she began her stay at her coach’s house. Laundry, cleaning, preparing her own meals: if she couldn’t do everything perfectly she’d get frustrated with herself. She had morning practice; then, after attending lectures at university, she’d be back in the rink again. It was the start of a life that revolved around skating to an unhealthy extent.  

The shape of a woman’s body changes easily during puberty. For the sake of scoring in competitions, she had been warned about the importance of self-management. If she lost weight, she’d be able to jump more easily. She didn’t want to be told she couldn’t manage by herself after moving out of her parents’ home. She was taken captive by those kind of thoughts.

She then changed her bowl to a child-sized one and stopped eating anything greasy or fried. She wouldn’t eat vegetables that had been cooked with any kind of grease. Little by little, she increased the number of rules for herself. She wouldn’t eat meat anymore and was very particular about ingredients put in side dishes, no matter how small the quantity.  

She’d measure her weight 5 times a day. If she didn’t get on a scale she couldn’t relax. If her weight had gone down, that was proof her hard work had paid off. With a height of 161cm, her weight dropped from 48kg to 40kg in one month.

During an extended vacation in May, she came to visit her mother at the Izakaya she ran in Toyohashi. The moment she opened the door, her mother exclaimed, “What happened?” She looked so thin she was hard to recognize.

When she went back to Sendai, she never skipped practices or college lectures, but there was a tough commute including a transfer from the train to a bus. After attending 90 minute lectures, she’d be very tired. By the time she arrived at the rink, the practice was sloppy; she became unable to perform even simple spins. Yukio Shibata (69) the head of the skating division, noticed this and told her, “Why don’t you go home?”

At the end of May, Keiko-san took her to see a psychiatrist at a Toyohashi hospital. As the doctor listened to her symptoms and measured her weight, he informed them that she was anorexic. It is a type of eating disorder now called anorexia nervosa, an illness characterized by extreme concern over weight to the point where one develops a tendency to skip meals altogether. This results in an increasing danger of malnutrition. Although the person suffering from the disorder diets often, they do not realize they have lost weight.

Having already been concerned over the strange changes her daughter was going through, the doctor’s explanation satisfied Keiko. But Akiko could not accept that her efforts were being called an ‘illness.’ The thoughts that crossed her mind were along the lines of “I wanted to be thin so I lost weight. I can gain it back, so it’s fine.”

She was prescribed medication to raise her blood pressure as well as antidepressants. She couldn’t sleep no matter how tired she was, so she started taking sleeping pills. She had so little body fat she felt cold even in the middle of the day. Despite all of this, she couldn’t bring herself to drink the canned nutritional supplement given to her by the hospital: “If I drink this, I’ll get fat.”

She couldn’t even eat the meals her mother made for her. “Eat just a little bit of something nutritious,” she was told. She thought, “I’m doing what I can.” It was painful for her to see the sad look on her mother’s face.

The impatience to skate grew worse. She would go to the rink in Nagoya, but she was tired out just from the one-and-a-half-hour commute and would come back home without having been able to accomplish anything. That summer, her weight dropped as low as 32kg.

She’d developed this eating disorder when she enrolled in university in 2003. At that time, she weighed 48kg. By the summer of that year she weighed 32kg.

By the end of May she had gone back home to Toyohashi (Aichi prefecture), moving out of her boarding place in Nagoya. However, she would still not eat the food her mother, Keiko, tried to give her. Her mother would plead with her, “Please eat.” But it was not so simple, although it was painful to see her mother look so sad. 

In July, Keiko-san tried to tell her, “Let’s go to the hospital.” She earnestly told Akiko, “I just want you to live.” But Akiko stubbornly refused, saying, “If I go, it means I won’t be able to skate.” She couldn’t imagine being herself if she couldn’t skate.

A change in Keiko’s words created the opportunity for Akiko to face the challenge of eating. Instead of ordering Akiko to eat, she said, “Let’s start with whatever you feel you can eat and go from there.” Akiko had thought her parents would not accept her unless she was perfect, but now she began to feel as though her current self could be accepted in her entirety. Tofu, fruits, sugar-free yogurt. Little by little, she began to eat what she could.  

In the autumn, she was scheduled to appear in her first GP competition, Skate Canada. But she had been away from the rink and her new programs had not been choreographed yet. In September, she phoned the Japanese Skating Federation and said that she could not attend due to health problems. “I’ve missed my chance,” she thought, and broke down in tears after the phone call.

In the middle of autumn, she became determined and returned to Sendai: “I want to be on the ice once again.” Coach Nagakubo, however, told her, “I can’t let you practice. First you have to get your weight back up to 40kg.” To start with, she worked on regaining her physical strength through walking.  

When it came to her fear of eating, it was one step forward, one step back. Head of the skating division Yukio Shibata introduced her to a clinic nearby where she would get IV drips with vitamins and nutrients. She told a nurse there, “I have to eat, but I just can’t.” The nurse responded, “It’s okay. Just take it slow for now.” Suzuki felt grateful to receive a reaction so full of acceptance.  

Her food intake gradually increased in quantity. She gradually became more positive with both her body and mind. Her weight having once been below 40kg, she returned to her 1st year of university and stood on the ice once again.

The muscles supporting her torso had become weak to the point where she would fall down trying to skate forward. She became wary of people’s gaze. She felt as though her skinny thighs were being stared at. “But that’s just the reality,” she thought. In order to skate, she worked hard to accept the reality that faced her. She decided to try and make an appearance in January 2004 at an intercollegiate championship. The head of the skating division at Fukushi University Yukio Shibata recounts, “I couldn’t believe she’d really skate.”  

She didn’t know whether she would be able to complete the performance. She couldn’t do 3 rotation jumps – she could only make it to two and a half. The time when she had placed highly in the ranks during high school at the National Championships “seemed like a lifetime ago.”  

At that time, Noriko Hongo, who ran a beauty salon in Miyagi, Sendai, would often take Akiko out. She was the same age as Suzuki’s mother, Keiko. Noriko had two figure skating daughters who used to be enrolled at the same university club as Suzuki, and had been told by Shibata, “Please look after [Akiko].”

“Let’s go to a place that has food that Akko likes!” Suzuki adored Noriko and her serene voice, dubbing her “my Sendai mother.” They would go to a karaoke snack bar just for fun, without drinking alcohol. After her morning practice, Akiko would go to Noriko’s house to take a nap. Noriko would help take care of her eating habits, making her Japanese food with plenty of vegetables. Although she could still not eat meat, as the items that she could eat increased, she began to feel as though she might recover.

She had to rebuild her muscles one by one. In practice, she had to re-learn everything from theory to application. She started being able to do things that just a week before had been impossible for her. She re-lived the joyful moments from childhood: “I was able to do that jump! I was able to spin correctly!” Her club coach Hiroshi Nakubo patted her on the back and told her, “You can definitely make a comeback.”  

Akiko was aware that body-building is essential for athletes, so eating habits were also an aspect of training. The self-imposed rules about what she had to eat continued to decrease. However, she still couldn’t bring herself to eat meat. She had accepted a piece of information she found on her own that said that “grease is always bad,” and at first, she believed meat to be greasy. She knew that the proteins were good for muscle-building, but she couldn’t shake off the fear.  

The breakthrough came at the end of her 3rd year of university, when some thin-sliced pork with salad was served. She was told by friends, “You don’t have to force yourself.” Somehow she wanted to try it. “I think it might be okay,” she said, sincerely believing that it would.  

When Shizuka Arakawa was selected as a representative at the national championships for the Torino Olympics in 2006 where she won gold, Akiko could not make the last group along with the top-ranked skaters. She was told, “What a shame that you had to have a setback at that time.” The frustration was overwhelming.

In 2007, she won the Winter Universiade Competition. She was able to secure the ticket to the 2010 Vancouver Olympics that she so desired, where she placed 8th. “I’ll stop when I’m satisfied with myself.” Another year, and then another, and so on. She went to her 2nd Olympics in 2014 Sochi, and placed 8th once again. It probably used to be unimaginable for anyone that she would get to go to the Olympics twice. “To keep going while I was sick, I needed power and perseverance, but the objective of continuing to skate gave me the motivation to overcome the obstacles in my way.”  

Having had the experience of an eating disorder, just being able to skate made her happy. The fact that she was able to compete like she did was, after all, due to her healthy body. She now asks that female athletes seek medical help if they are experiencing sudden and drastic changes in their weight or amenorrhea (absence of menstruation/skipping periods).

After the March 2014 Worlds in which she retired, she’s been living as a professional skater and choreographer. She also commentated on the Pyeongchang Olympics on television. Skating has accompanied her throughout her life. She would like to continue with the activities that allow her to communicate her love of the sport.

Akiko’s letter to her mother

Akiko’s mother still treasures a letter Akiko sent her when she was finally able to go to skate Canada after having to withdraw the previous time. She keeps it in her wallet to this day. In this letter, Akiko reflects on how she cried talking on the phone and withdrawing from the competition, and how she feels happy being able to stand on the same arena that she would have been standing on back then. “[…]I’m very happy to be standing here having recovered this part of myself that I’d lost, my ability to skate. Thank you for standing by me all this time and working hard alongside me. I will be returning as myself, a healthy self!”

The dangers that lurk in the mentality of athletes

Eating disorders are characterized by an excessive concern/pickiness toward body weight and food intake, and a person suffering from such an illness becomes unable to eat normally. These nervous disorders are generally classified as anorexia, which dramatically decreases one’s food intake and causes weight loss to the point of malnutrition, or bulimia, in which one continues to eat food in large quantities. In the case of bulimia, excessive eating will often be followed by throwing up, taking laxatives etc.  

It is thought to stem from a combination of psychological factors such as perfectionism or low self-esteem and external factors such as family environment, society’s preference for thinness. Research conducted by the Ministry of Health estimated the patients to be at around 25.000, but there are doubts as to its accuracy.

Rehabilitation offers important resources such as having someone to listen carefully to the words of the person suffering from the eating disorder as well as offer advice to their families and guidance regarding proper nutrition. But there are still few medical institutions specializing in diagnosis and treatment. There are federal or municipal institutions called “Centers for Rehabilitation and Support for Eating Disorders” in Miyagi, Chiba, Shizuoka, Fukuoka.

It’s becoming clear that athletes in particular are suffering from eating disorders. Whether in sports like figure skating and rhythm gymnastics, where the competition involves aesthetic appeal, or track-and-field sports, the need to control one’s weight is particularly demanding. Aside from Akiko Suzuki, other female skaters who have been open about suffering from these disorders include America’s Gracie Gold and Russia’s Yulia Lipnitskaya.

Research from overseas suggests the risk to kids who have this athletic mentality, with characteristics such as stoicism, perfectionism, having an inclination to please their mentors and coaches etc. are twice as vulnerable to eating disorders as people in general.

Mari Suzuki, a doctor from the Japanese Association for Eating Disorders (based in Tokyo), pointed out, “Puberty is when your body weight increases and your bones and muscles are developing. And there are still trainers who will advise them to lose weight.”

The association’s “Support Guidebook: Tackling Eating Disorders as a Team” lists warning signs in an athlete’s behavior, including having an excessive amount of rules about eating, planning an excessive amount of training, drastic weight changes, a life in disarray. They are encouraging people to seek expert advice. The Association offers a course directed at coaches and mentors of athletes about 4 times a year. They also offer free advice through their email address.

Source: https://digital.asahi.com/articles/SDI201806019805.html

#fstranslation #Akiko Suzuki #article #tw: ed #tw: eating disorder #trigger warning

93 notes · View notes

dougtfs · 7 years ago

Text

Sam's Story Ch. 1

Sam’s Story Ch. 1 **meant for entertainment purposes only, all persons depicted are 18 years of age or older. Enjoy your read! My name is Sam, and I am going to tell you about the day that my life changed forever. It was a normal day, I woke up to my alarm blaring, and my dad already yelling at me to begin taking care of my chores. When I went upstairs to the kitchen I saw both of my brothers helping my dad with breakfast. My father was a stern man, 45 years old and about 6'7, with black hair and brown eyes. Speaking of hair, he had a lot of it. His 56’ belly was engulfed by dark swaths of hair that seemed to expand evenly across his entire chest, back, arms and legs. His plump behind bubbled out and very noticeably jiggled as he walked, and although I hadn’t seen what was underneath his underwear in years, I assumed his hairiness extended there as well. My brothers, 18 and 19, were essentially miniature versions of my dad. Both roughly 6'4, they too had brown eyes and thick black hair that seemingly engulfed their bodies from the neck down. In fact, the only child that wasn’t almost an exact replica of my father was me. At the time I was 17, much like my father and brothers I had black hair and brown eyes, I was also nearing the height of my brothers coming in at around 6'3, but that is where the similarities ended. Firstly, I was extremely skinny, my belly was non existent and I could hardly put on a pair of pants without a belt to hold them up. Aside from the small tufts of armpit hair I had, my body was essentially hairless. Every time I would change in the school locker room, somebody would point out how skinny I was, or ask when my balls were going to drop. One day I was changing in the varsity locker room, when a few kids started making the usual remarks about my body. As I stepped out of my underwear, for some reason, one of the jocks in my P.E. class began to really lay into me. Growing up with brothers I had been forced to develop thick skin, and I tried to go about walking to the shower and getting on with my day, but he had other plans. “Look at this little boy, how did you manage to find your way into a Highschool locker room?” he declared for everyone to hear, “you’re about as developed as a 4th grader, and about as thin as a rail!”, five starring my ass as the last comment landed. I winced in pain but tried not to show it as he continued, “Look at yourself, you’ll never be a man, look at your brothers, you will never be anything like them!”. As I heard him say that I felt something snap in me, butt naked, my vision turned red as I turned around and swung with all my might at his face. But with the ease that people like him seemed to have with everything, he ducked my blow. I immediately knew I had made a mistake. Something in his eyes changed, no more was he just making fun of me to get through his day, now he was genuinely angry. He sucker punched me directly in my stomach, and while I was gasping for breath, shoved me into the shower where I slipped and hit my head as seemingly all the boys in school laughed at me. Curled up and gasping for air, I felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks. As the bell rang and the class left, I couldn’t bring myself to get up. He was right, I was just a scrawny wimp, I wanted so bad to be like my dad and brothers, and right then and there I decided that I wanted to become a man. That day when my dad came home from work I told him everything that happened, as he kept a somewhat emotionless face, I told him what I had decided earlier, that I wanted to become a man just like him. As I said the last part, his expression suddenly became very thoughtful, and after good few seconds he said, “You know what, today I’m gonna take you to workout at the club with me, hopefully I can get you on the right path.”. My eyes immediately lit up. I was finally going to start going to the gym with my dad just like my brothers did when they first started. After checking in at the gym, my dad and I put our change of clothes in the locker room and headed upstairs to the weight room. Although we began with what I assume was light dumbbell work, I was exhausted. By the third or fourth set, I think my dad saw that I was out of my league, and he told me that I was done for the day. He then said as recovery to grab a few glasses of water and hit the steam room. Once I entered the locker room again I noticed that it had filled up since we had first arrived. Seeing that everyone was unashamedly naked, I walked back to our locker and took off all of my clothes. As I walked to the steam room I began to feel out of place. It started to become apparent that not only was I the only person under 35, and the only person under 275 lbs in the locker room, that everyone seemed to be uncircumcised, and extremely well endowed. That combined with the fact that I was about the only one with out the body hair of a bear, made feel as if I was sticking out like a sore thumb. I rushed to the steam room area, grabbed a towel and entered. Once I entered, I laid my towel out on one of the benches and sat down. It must have been in between sessions, because the room did not seem to very hot, and I could still see relatively well. There were two very large, and very hairy men in the room with me, each sitting spread eagle, leaning back against the wall, chatting amongst them selves. I didn’t pay much attention to them and began twiddling my thumbs as I waited for a new steam cycle to start. Eventually the steam began dispense, and as the temperature rose and the steam began to engulf the room, I lost sight of those that were in there with me and I became lost in my own thoughts. The vapor continued filling the room until I couldn’t even see my own hand in front of my face. I was uncomfortably hot, and my entire body had a slight tingling feeling, almost as if my foot had fallen asleep, but all over. As I inhaled more and more of the steam I began to calm down. The tingling sensation almost felt arousing, and although I couldn’t see my dick, I assumed based on the bulging feeling I was experiencing that I had a massive boner. Once the first steam cycle was complete, and the room began to somewhat clear out, I again gained sight of the the two good looking, ball bellied men that were in the steam room with me. And for seemingly the first time they noticed me. They both smiled and then continued their muffled conversation. I looked down at my penis and noticed that my balls seemed to be hanging abnormally low, and for the first time noticed the first sprouts of a happy trail appearing. Chalking it up to a little bit of puberty finally happening, I began daydreaming again as the next steam cycle commenced. Once again as steam engulfed the room, I began to experience the now familiar tingling feeling. The sensation seemed to be tugging at my stomach and ball sack and once again I sprouted what felt like the largest boner I had ever had. I began to worry that it wouldn’t go away before the steam cleared, but as more vapor filled my lungs, I set the worry aside, leaned back and closed my eyes. When my eyes fluttered open, something felt strange. Although I was yet again engulfed by vapor, the tingling sensation had gone away, and in its place was the over whelming urge to take a piss. Seeing as how I had now been in the steam room so long I figured now was a good time to take a bathroom break and hit the showers. Once I stood up, everything felt off kilter. Thinking it was from simply being in the intense heat for too long, I deliriously made my way to the urinals, but when I reached for my usually minuscule cock, I felt much more flesh than I was used to, looking down I wash shocked to see that not only could I not see my penis, but in my line of sight was a hairy, enormous 54’ gut. Shocked, I quickly finished peeing and rushed to the nearest mirror. What I saw was not what I expected. Instead of seeing a scrawny, underdeveloped teen, looking back at me was a man child. My face had not changed, but my once scrawny frame was now replaced with something completely opposite. My gut had ballooned to a larger size than either of my brothers, perched on top of my tight beach ball resembling belly, was a set of moobs of the likes that I had only seen on my father and other men of his stature. My ass, which had always been non existent, was now replaced with an enormous bubble butt. Thick, black hair now carpeted my entire body from the neck down, spreading from my moobs, over my now very prominent belly, spreading up my back and into my armpits and in turn blanketing my ass, and my legs. But the most prominent change had happened below the belt. In the place of my once below average, circumcised package, was now an 8 inch penis, with a foreskin that had more than a few inches of overhang. My balls, once the size of prunes, were now hanging halfway down my thighs, replaced with balls that a bull would be jealous of, and blanketed with the largest bush I had ever seen. All of this should’ve had me in a panic, but instead it felt almost as if I had always been this way. And aside from the physical changes, mentally I felt completely normal. Smiling ear to ear, I sauntered to the showers, feeling my ass jiggle up and down the whole way. As I walked into the showers, I felt glances lingering on my behind, and for the what felt like the first time ever, I noticed how amazing all of the large, hairy men looked as they nonchalantly lathered their plump bodies in soap. The way that they ran their hands over their figures, how they flipped their cock and balls around as they lathered up, the way that their beautiful asses jiggled whilst they spread soap over them, and how appealing they looked bent over, running their hands up their cracks and down their legs as their balls swung back and forth. As I watched the 8 or so in the showers with me, I also began the process of cleaning myself. Rubbing my body wash filled hands across my vast torso, moving down to my now hardening cock, toying with my sack and bending over to spread it evenly across my legs and ass. I must’ve re lathered myself 3 times before deciding I had had enough, and while still erect I exited into the connecting room between the shower and the steam room to begin drying myself off. Once I was dry I decided to go look for my dad. Noticing that nobody else had wrapped themselves in a towel I walked toward the locker room lounge, still loving the way that my everything from my tits and belly, to my ballsack and ass seemed to bounce with every step that I took. Once I reached the lounge, I saw my dad, sitting between two of his buddies on a couch, stark naked for what was the first time since the days that we showered together. My dad’s flaccid dick, although not surprisingly, was even larger than my new and improved. About 10 inches, with even more foreskin overhang than me, was perched on top of the largest and hairiest pair of balls I had ever seen. His sack, almost the size of a cantaloupe, hung so low that it went over the edge of the couch. He saw me and knowingly smiled, he then motioned me to the only open seat in the room, between the two men I had first seen in the steam room. I sat down between the two burly men, who I was now larger than, and we began to talk about sports and how Highschool was going, although in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but think how amazing they both looked. I then realized that up until today, I had never thought about anyone but the popular girls at school and the hotties I saw online in that way. Just as I was realizing this, I felt a large hand grip my upper thigh. Then in turn, I felt another hand gripping my other thigh. The man to my left was about 6'2’, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and a belly the almost the size of my own. His curly, sandy blonde body hair carpeted him from the neck down, his uncut 6 inch penis, and saggy bull balls were engulfed by a very sizable bush. The man to my right was roughly the same height, with brown hair and brown eyes, following the trend of everyone in the locker room, he too was blessed with a furry ball belly, a sizable cock and a great set of balls, which were almost hidden by his illustrious bush. As both men continued messaging my thighs, I looked toward my father, who seemed to have moved spots. As the rubbing continued, I almost felt as if I should leave, but the men’s intoxicating touch was too much to think through. The man on the left slowly crept towards my cock, as he gripped my foreskin, pulling it up and down, as I became erect, my foreskin was still overhanging my now rock hard 12 incher. On cue, the man on my right gripped my chin, turning my head towards his own, and locked his lips with mine for what seemed like hours. Filled with lust, I turned to the man on my left, doing what his friend had done to me, pulled his head towards my own and began kiss him with passion. As our tongues went in and out of each other’s mouths, I felt his grip on my hard on loosen, as the man on my rights lips began to engulf my cock. It felt so blindingly good that I could no longer continue with my kissing. I began to moan as the man on my right, now on his knees in front of me, swirled his tongue inside my foreskin and around the head of my penis, making gagging noises as he attempted to deep throat my cock. Not wanting to be left out, the man on my left gripped both of my man boobs, and began to swirl his tongue around my nipple, while rubbing the other between his thumb and index finger. The amount of pleasure I was feeling was other worldly, but I wanted more. With the blonde still firmly attached to my nipples, i told the man sucking my dick to stand up, with a popping noise his mouth released from my penis, and grabbing him by the hips I turned him around and told him to bend over. Once he was bent I spread his plump hairy cheeks and began to flick my tongue in, out and around his moist man hole. His moans filled the air and he began to push his ass against my face, but I continued. Standing up off of the couch I bent him over on all fours, resting my enormous gut on his back, he moaned as my thick cock began to penetrate him, and eventually I sunk myself completely into him. His asshole tightened around my penis, gripping as I began to pull back out of him, but I pushed back in harder, his cheeks quaked with each thrust, and sounds of euphoria and stupor filled the air as I dominated him. Not to be left out the equation, I felt the blonde’s hand begin too massage hairy man hole as he gripped my sack. He then assumed a sitting position, putting his legs over the back of my calves, he ordered me to sit back, with which I complied. Firmly taking hold of my man boobs, he thrusted himself into me. Never had I felt my self be opened in such a way, as he pounded my prostate again and again, I began to bounce up and down, rotating my ass clockwise as he buried his manhood to the hilt in my furry ass. Still inside of my victim, I gripped his enormous gut, using it to slam myself into him relentlessly. As our collective climaxes approached, the intensity picked up, every thrust I made, in turn buried the blonde’s cock deeper into myself, and eventually I could contain myself no longer. With one last stroke, I began to explode into my brown haired lover’s luscious, hairy asshole until my own cum overflowed out of him onto my own body. This in turn created a chain reaction, I felt ropes of jizz pour into me and we collectively collapsed onto the floor. As I laid on my back, with semen leaking out of me, I suddenly was stricken with fear. What would my dad think? I didn’t have to wait long as soon he was standing over me, smiling ear to ear with his hand scratched out towards mine. As he helped me up he said, “You wanted to be a man, so I had it arranged, now let’s hit the showers again and head home, your brothers will be dying to hear about how it went.”

103 notes · View notes

etharismail · 5 years ago

Text

It’s All Relative

How many times have you walked into a clothing store, picked up a pair of jeans in your “usual size” and headed straight to the cashier without even bothering to try it on because:

1) The line up for the fitting room was ridiculous.

2) You’ve shopped at this store so many times you can walk in there blindfolded and still pick up what you need.

3) Try it on? Ain’t no body got time for that, my size hasn’t changed since 2008.

Only to take it home, attempt to put it on, and realise that it won’t go past your thighs (no matter how many times you’ve jumped up and down).

Even worse, you actually manage to pull it all the way up, zip it up, and THEN realise that it was made for rectangular shaped creatures that have absolutely no waist.

For some reason, there seems to be some fierce rivalry between sizing and denim. Not only does each brand/designer have their own measurements and size charts, where a size small in one brand can be a medium in another, for example. But the actual fit, such as the hip-to-waist ratio, can also be very different. Even within the same brand, different styles can have very different fit and sizing measurements. In fact, two identical pairs of jeans in the same style and size can still fit differently because the of the 1/2” tolerance used in manufacturing.

(Seriously, they make denim like they are out to get you!)

In spite of all this, finding the perfect pair of jeans is not a complete lost cause. The trick is to forget the ‘I’m the same size in all stores’ lie you tell yourself, do some research, and take your time to find the right size and fit:

1) Try on different styles until you find the one you’re most comfortable with.

2) Try on that same style from different brands.

3) Try different sizes from that style.

Yes, that’s a lot of time and effort for a pair of jeans and it can get pretty frustrating, but when you’ve found that just-right pair, trust me, it will be soooo worth it.

How do I know? Because I tried it myself. I recently set out on a mission to find out what my jeans size is in different brands and to, hopefully, find a fit that suits me. Being on the curvy side, jeans tend to either fit at the hips, or the waist, but never both. Since I was pretty sure that I can’t be the only one with those proportions, I knew that there was a pair out there for me.

I started off at a well-established department store and picked up different sized skinny jeans from the following brands:

Levi’s

Topshop

Noisy May

Guess Jeans

I chose to try on skinny jeans in particular because they have become such a staple and can be so flattering when the right fit is found.

1) Levi’s

Style: 711

This was the first pair I tried on. I already had a general idea of what my size was in Levi’s so I picked that up first. The size was fine and the fit was as expected: fitting well in the legs and thighs but slightly loose around the waist. As a mid-rise, it was loose enough to know that it would bother me when sitting down (I hate being forced to wear belts with jeans and refuse to do it). This pair had some good stretch to it and was comfortable, but too long for my taste. I also didn’t find it particularly flattering.

Verdict: It’s a pass for me.

2) Levi’s

Style: 721

Next were the high-waisted 721’s. I tried on the same size as the 711’s and was pleasantly surprised when the waist fit better than the 711’s. Still slightly loose but definitely better. It had no stretch at all and was pretty stiff, which kind of gave a slight slimming/smoothing effect. In spite of that, I found the no stretch a bit too uncomfortable to be worth it. It was also way too long for my liking. Overall, this pair definitely has potential but it wouldn’t be my go-to choice in terms of comfort.

Verdict: Maybe.

3) Levi’s

Style: 311

Oh boy.

This mid-rise pair was labelled “Levi’s sculpt / soft”, so I expected it to have a good hold and to actually, well, sculpt. Unfortunately, this pair had just way too much stretch and was way too loose all over - very unflattering and definitely not sculpting material. In fact, it became even more relaxed in those few minutes that I tried them on for!

I went down a size to see if it would fit better but it didn’t fit at all. So It was either this loose fit or nothing. It was, however, very soft and light, so at least that part was true.

This pair also had a loose fit around the ankles and a bit too short for me, so would probably only look good rolled up.

Verdict: Nope.

Worth to note: I do have to give Levi’s credit for being pretty consistent with their sizing across the different styles (I wore the same size in all three styles).

4) Topshop

Style: Jamie - High Waist Ankle Grazer

I next tried on the high waist ankle grazer Jamie jeans from Topshop in the same size as the Levi’s and it fit like a glove! I couldn’t believe it! The size was spot on and the waist was perfect: no back gaps, no tummy pinching. The waistband and hemline hit me in all the right spots and it had a good, tight stretch that was flattering yet comfortable at the same time. I also really liked the ankle grazer length and could definitely see myself wearing this all the time.

Could it be that my search is over and I have found “the one”? Perhaps.

Even though this pair had everything I was looking for, I decided to be a little greedy and see if I can find another pair that could somehow, possibly, outdo this one. I mean, this was only the 4th pair I try on, after all.

If I wanted to be super picky, I could say it wasn’t particularly soft (especially after trying the 311’s) so I thought maybe I can find one that hits all the criteria, and then some.

Verdict: Could this be the one?!

5 & 6) Noisy May “Lexi” and Guess “Sexy Curve”

Both Noisy May and Guess had different sizing measurements than Levi’s and Topshop and I went up a size in both. Lexi was labelled as high-waist but it was not as high waisted as the Jamie. The waist was also a bit loose, and even though the jeans had a bit of a stretch, the pair wasn’t really flattering especially around the waist and hip area. Guess’s mid-rise “sexy curve” also felt the same, was on the longer side, and I felt that it made me look a bit heavier.

Verdict: Not for me.

Since I was done trying on what’s available at this department store, I visited another one to try on some higher-end jeans to see if the higher price point translates into better size and fit.

7) Adriano Goldschmied

I tried AG’s The Farrah Skinny in my usual size and it fit pretty similar to the Levi’s 721s. The only difference is that it was a bit more comfy and had a good stretch. Not sure if that’s worth the higher price point, though.

Verdict: Meh.

8 & 9) Citizen of Humanity & Fidelity

With all the hype around these two brands, I was particularly excited to try them on. To my utter disappointment, however, both the CoH and Fidelity had incredibly wide waists! I had to go up a size in both so that my legs could fit into them and the waists were huge (remember the aforementioned 1:1 box sizing?).

The sizing and fit were so off that it was enough for me to immediately dismiss them both.

Verdict: Never.

10) Madewell

I’ve been a fan of Madewell’s sustainability and fair trade policies for quite some time now, so I was curious to find out how their jeans would fit me. I tried their 10” High-Rise Skinny in my usual size and guess what? They were actually a good fit! The hip-to-waist ratio was great, the waistline hit the right spot, nice stretch, comfortable, and flattering. The length was ok - maybe an inch too long. The fabric also felt slightly softer than Topshop’s Jamie but still substantial (i.e. not too thin).

Verdict: Jamie, you’ve got competition!

Topshop vs. Madewell Sizing Comparison:

As a final sizing test, I tried several of the same size in both the Topshop and Madewell jeans. I wanted to see if there was a significant sizing difference due to the manufacturing 1/2” seam allowance. I am happy to report that there was not that much of a difference, especially with the Topshop jeans, which I assume is because of the stretchy material.

Conclusion:

After tallying up the points, my top 3 contenders were the Levi’s 721s, the Topshop Jamie, and the Madewell 10” High-Rise Skinny. They were all flattering, fit pretty well, and surprisingly had the same size number. They mainly differed in length and the amount of stretch in them.

Deciding on a winner was tricky. If I was looking for absolutely no stretch, then the 721s definitely win. I personally prefer some stretch in my jeans, as I feel they tend to hug the body better while still giving some room to breathe and eat in for a day. So that meant that the Topshop and Madewell pairs were a better option for me. I felt the Jamie was the most flattering of them all, and was a great length. Madewell’s pair was also of great quality and had a slightly higher rise than the Topshop ones - which I liked. The Madewells were also almost double the price of the Topshop pair.

Decision:

If I had to choose I would probably go with the Topshop Jamie for my every day wear, and the Madewell ones for when I want to splurge a little.

Final Thoughts:

Because of how differently brands size their clothes, size really is just a number. Not only that, but how they interpret a style, such as skinny jeans or mom jeans, can also make a big difference in fit. With all the pressures around us about being a certain size, my research makes me wonder if there really is such a thing called size? A brand’s size 0 is another’s size 4, a medium here is an x-small there. Trying to figure out your “size” with the purpose of always using that number sounds pretty pointless to me.

Instead of stressing over the numbers, I believe it’s more important to focus on feeling great in your own skin and finding the fit that suit you best. Take the time to try on different styles and don’t just blindly follow a trend. Forget size, because after it’s all said and done, it really is all relative.

0 notes

pisati · 5 years ago

Text

these last few days feel like a blur. it’s hard to believe it all went by so fast. usually it feels like my days drag on, but if I didn’t know I just went to a music festival I would’ve guessed it never happened. if that makes sense.

it somehow didn’t register that other people would also be traveling for the july 4th weekend, so it took me about 3 hours to get to johnstown, rather than the usual 2 and a half. I got to A’s house, we brought in the girl rats and the bags I’d need for the night, plus the food that needed to be refrigerated, and settled down for a minute. we took the rats’ cages outside and hosed them down, scrubbed between the bars and the platforms (and I’m glad he helped with that awful cage I have that I’ve been using for the fosters; I don’t think it’s been cleaned that thoroughly since 2016). I was told another of our friends would be coming over and staying the night, because he has a big SUV with a tow hitch and we needed to bring a trailer with a bunch of firewood. so that friend came over, we went and did some grocery shopping, then we ordered takeout for dinner. the place where they were going to get wings took a really long time because of an order backlog so they gave the guys 10 extra wings and we all just went inside so they could have a beer at the bar while they waited.

I was inside getting ready for bed around 11pm while they were outside trying to fix up the tow hitch, when A came inside looking kind of defeated. he asked if I’d be down for a walmart trip, because the hitch that he had had a ball that was the wrong size fo the friend’s car, plus it was rusted pretty bad and wouldn’t come out of the hitch itself. so we drove the 20 minutes out to walmart, waited in an ungodly long line for that hour to check out, drove the 20 minutes back... and then A came back inside after a few minutes looking like he was about to cry. the bolt on the new ball was too big to screw into the hitch. he kept complaining like why can’t people just make things universal and like I get it but god am I so sick of hearing him complain about things that can’t be changed for 20 straight minutes

the next morning we went to the Uhaul store and got a ball that was the right size, with the right size bolt, and then got back and got the trailer hooked up. got packed, headed out. I took my car and we followed our friend. we had to take a pretty big detour, about an hour and a half, out to some other town in the middle of nowhere, because our friend was supposed to pick up this girl to go to the festival. we get to the town, she’s not there. he’d talked to her earlier or something, telling us she wouldn’t be home til very late, but he hadn’t heard from her all morning. we waited around at a gas station while he tried to call her; nothing. apparently there was a family emergency; we ended up not picking her up. it was another hour out to the farm from there, and my GPS led us down some back roads rather than the highway, and one side of the trailer collapsed inwards because the roads were so damn bumpy. we lost a good bit of firewood and A’s dad’s shovel, but we didn’t realize it until we got to the farm because I was in front that time.

so we got to the farm in one piece, thankfully. A was annoying the hell out of me because he wanted to be there By 1 PM when the gates opened, and we were already running late because of that girl. not that late, of course, we maybe made it by 1:30. but he kept looking at the minutes left on my GPS and groaning and I told him if he was going to keep complaining I’d intentionally go slower. we got the early passes, we were already there before most other people, and T and his wife got in even earlier because they opened the gates early, and there was nobody there, besides a few people who’d already managed to claim one of our friends’ usual spots along our treeline.

setting up was hard. I picked a spot that hadn’t been claimed yet, with a minimal slope which was nice, considering there pretty much aren’t any camping spots on the farm that aren’t at a slant. got everything out of my car once I got the tent set up, and that took a lot of work. by myself, of course; A was busy setting up his own camp and trying to figure out what the fuck happened to the trailer. it was humid and decently hot, and I was sweating like nothing else, but I got everything set up. managed to let a lot of bugs into my tent though; I learned very quickly to zip up the door quick before going in or out. I had a cot this year, and a tent big enough to stand up in, which ended up being really nice. almost everyone seemed to upgrade their tent situation this year; T and his wife bought a massive, probably 10-person tent and had a queen-sized cot with an inflatable mattress (so she described it to me), A had his huge 6-person tent that he and I had shared my first farm jam, Tom and his girlfriend had a big.. 6-8 person tent? with two queen mattresses... I was glad we all fit everything and still had plenty of space. the thing about tent sizes is that they describe it in terms of room for people sleeping shoulder-to-shoulder, basically. my tent was labeled a 6-person tent but would have been comfortable for 2, very cozy with 3. I was glad to have the space. my bags took up the back wall and the right side, and I put my cot on the left. mom also had this little outdoor folding table that came in super handy as a nightstand. I put a rag rug down for a little insulation, and put a foam pad and a blanket on my cot, sleeping bag on top. it ended up being pretty comfortable, despite how narrow the cot is. I like to sleep on my stomach, so I spent a lot of time with one thigh squished into one pole and the opposite knee pressed into the other pole. still, I got way better sleep than I was anticipating.

day 1 was uneventful. early pass people were still moving in most of the day, and music wasn’t supposed to start til the next day. I can’t remember if a group went down to the watering hole that day. there’s a creek that runs at the base of the hill on the opposite side of the farm, and in one place there’s a deep watering hole that’s at the bottom of two concrete tubes; I guess they’re drainage for mountain runoff. I went down to the watering hole my first year; sat on top of one of the drainage spouts and watched friends explore while they were on mushrooms. that was also where I slipped on a rock and bruised the shit out of my thigh that year. I did want to go to the watering hole at some point this year, but it ended up not happening.

two friends and I were joking about the rain, but one of the two mentioned he’d brought a 12x24′ tarp and we tried to reason out how and where we could string it up in the trees in the event of rain. 2ish hours later, we managed to hang it in a pathway across one of the friend’s tents, and it ended just before mine. it was a lot of work to get it up there but it paid off.

my anxiety did kick a little bit the first night, but it let up by the morning. I remember being up til about 1am the first night; there were some jam bands playing at the barn and our friend Tom had brought his trombone and went and joined them, which was fun to watch. but everyone was pretty tired and one by one we all went to bed. I probably woke up around 8, had to pee, heard T’s wife get up.. I’m pretty sure we sat around the fire and waited for more people to wake up. I made a little breakfast (butter on an everything bagel, toasted over the fire. made it so soft, it was great), and eventually more people gathered. A helped me set up my hammock the evening before, so I think it was hanging up in our little hammock city (just a grouping of trees in our camp that’s inconvenient for setting up tents but perfect for stringing up hammocks). at some point, since it was starting out as a lazy day, a few people ended up in hammocks. I think we were waiting for the non-early-pass folks to move in and set up camp before we did anything. I wrapped some stones for necklaces and planned to sell them, but ended up not going ahead with that. I told A I’d wanted to go for a walk, because I’d just been sitting around most of the day, and asked when he’d want to. he wasn’t sure. but later a group wanted to go down to the watering hole, so I grabbed up my hammock, as did a few other people, and we waited to go. except it started raining. the tarp we’d strung up was really helpful; we got all the camp chairs under the tarp and waited it out. it wasn’t a heavy rain and it didn’t last long, so normal activity resumed after a bit. I don’t remember if anyone went down to the watering hole that day. the ‘more exciting’ bands were supposed to take the stage saturday, but there was no one I was dying to see. our friend Alec was part of one band, they’d invited him on for a set, so of course we had to go watch. one of the bigger bands Saturday, Starship Mantis, who played during the bonfire lighting (a coveted spot) also had Alec play with them for at least one song, and shouted him out, which was pretty cool.

friday night ended up setting the tone for the rest of the festival. I’d already been feeling kind of discouraged because of something I noticed was slowly becoming the norm for my visits now: I’d show up, people would say hey, give me a hug, then proceed to ignore me completely until it was goodbye time. I’d try to speak up, I’d get talked over or ignored or interrupted. T hardly even looked at me the entire festival; hardly acknowledged my existence save for the maybe once or twice he wanted an answer to a question or something. I swear A was leaving me on read except in person, somehow. I’d say something and nobody would react or respond in any way. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m really just not that funny or what; I know I’ve been borderline socially isolated for the last 5 years now but goddamn. have my people skills really gotten that bad? anyway, they’ve encouraged me for years to try, to put myself out there, to speak up, and here I was trying, and I was getting completely ignored in favor of others. I know I haven’t been around much, but like. shit, man. I only get to see my friends 2, maybe 3 times a year now, and they can’t even be bothered? something about that really fuckin bites.

later friday night, A and T wanted to go walking to other camps to see who all was around. I asked if I could go with them, because I’d been sitting around all day and just wanted to walk. they said okay, and we set off. both of them walked ahead of me and ignored anything I said. we got to the first camp, not far from ours, and talked to some people there. T may have known one of them, I don’t know. they kind of stopped in front of me while we were going in; I had to step around A just to not be in the background standing around like some nobody. the guys we talked to were pretty nice. one asked me a lot of questions about my situation, once he asked where we were from and I said DC area. when the guys were getting ready to leave, dude I was talking to asked my name and shook my hand, held on to it for a bit longer than I was expecting. told me good luck with everything, genuinely. I was all “you too..?” because I wasn’t sure how to react to that. I glanced over at A who was watching this exchange and saw a look on his face I understood but don’t know how to describe. dude let go of my hand and I saw him look back up at me from where he was sitting. suddenly very self-conscious.

we left that camp, but I’d said something else and they ignored me again. walked on ahead, up a hill towards another camp where there was no one. they were about to continue up the hill, again ahead of me, when I decided I had enough. I stopped, said “I’m just gonna go back”, and they looked at me. A said, “back to camp?” I said yeah as I’d already started walking. nothing. no questions, just, okay. I did go back to camp, but sat in my tent for a few minutes trying not to cry, trying to decide what to do since it was only maybe 10pm by that point. I decided to grab up my lantern and walk back to that first camp we went to; maybe the other guys would actually entertain my company. but when I got there they were gone, and I didn’t know who the two people were that were there. awkward. I went back to camp, got into my pajamas, crawled into bed. not sure how the rest of my night went. I may or may not have been asleep around midnight, may have read a little bit before bed. it was nice having those LED string lights in the tent.

saturday morning I woke up early, but managed to fall back asleep and wake up at 8:30 ish. got up, grabbed bananas and another bagel for breakast, went up to the fire, and T’s wife was the only one there, I think. I said good morning to her, went about my business. didn’t say anything for the rest of the morning. I was still pretty upset about the night before. I just sat in my camp chair while more people gathered, ate... maybe one or two people asked me a yes/no question that I could nod an answer to, but aside from that I spoke maybe 3-4 words all morning. I went and got my crochet after sitting around staring at the ground for a bit, worked on a row. watched as T and A and a decent size group took mushrooms and decided to grab up hammocks and go down to the watering hole. I was waiting for any one of them to ask if I wanted to join; nothing. hardly even a glance. I’m sure they could tell I was in a foul mood and didn’t want to deal with me, but, like... I wasn’t about to get up and join them without being invited. I knew full well that if I tagged along I’d be walking behind all of them, listening to them talk, stringing up my hammock in the woods maybe near theirs, and lying there quietly by myself. I’d rather have stayed up at camp and feel alone while being alone, rather than feeling alone surrounded by people I consider friends. after they left I felt like I was about to cry again. just... nothing. not even a glance. nobody even cared that I hadn’t said a word all day. I got up and went back to my tent and let it out. sat there and read a book for a while, but decided to go back up to the fire after so long because it was a nice day and I didn’t want to just spend it sitting in a tent. there was nothing to do, though. I may have grabbed some snacks, shared some, talked a little.

there’s one friend who moved out to colorado for a teaching job, and he’s in about the same boat as I am as far as interacting with our friends. they hardly said much to him either. he was around longer than I was, of course, and even lived with T and A at one point (pretty sure that was the summer I transferred; I remember visiting briefly and staying with T, and he’d mentioned something about Richie’s couch; the couch he was sleeping on for the summer, I guess). he was nice enough to talk to me; I’m sure he noticed I was upset.

at one point I remember hearing that another thunderstorm was rolling in and would be there around 3pm. it was hard to believe, since the day had been so beautiful, but I knew the forecast was calling for it all weekend. I decided a bit too late to just go walking by myself. I put a water bottle, sunglasses, and my phone in my purse, and set out. I ended up going down the path that my friend Mere and I went down last year that led to a clearing by the creek. as I was going down the hill, though, I noticed it started to get muddy. the sky was already darkening, and I knew if I got to the bottom I wouldn’t be getting back up; the mud was slippery and it was a very steep hill. so I turned back. unfortunately it was too late. by the time I got most of the way back up the hill, I felt raindrops. crossing the top of the hill, it started pouring. there’s a pathway for cars to get to other campsites that passes that camp we stopped at the night before, and the pathway is literally always muddy. it was even muddy last year when it was sunny the whole weekend. it was a swamp during that downpour. I managed to make it back to camp, and saw a group of friends (sans those who went to the watering hole) huddled under the big tarp. they’d rescued most of the camp chairs, except some random girl’s chair, and mine. T has this 15-year-old camp chair that’s beat to hell and is about to fall apart and someone rescued that piece of garbage, but not mine. cool. I was already drenched, so I just walked over, got my chair, and brought it under the tarp with the others. not that it helped much.

once the rain let up a bit, I went to my tent and shut myself in. stripped off all my clothes, since I was soaked all the way through. I was pretty sad too; I’d planned for my saturday outfit to be the nicest since it’s the peak night for the festival, but I ruined it. thankfully everything else in my tent stayed perfectly dry (save for a tiny leak near the door, but that was easily mopped up with paper towels), so I just dumped my wet clothes in a pile on the floor near the door and grabbed up dry underwear, warm leggings, and a sweater. brushed out my soaking hair, toweled it off, tied it up, and crawled into bed to warm up. it was really nice just lying there listening to the rain and being warm and dry.

it didn’t sound like the rain had stopped, but since I heard voices by the fire I figured it was probably more drips off the trees than anything. I pulled on the rain jacket I bought and my rain boots and headed out. everyone was sliding around in the mud, some opted to go barefoot. we were standing around, some sitting because their camp chairs were spared, and talking about plans for the evening. Starship Mantis was supposed to start at 8:30, and the bonfire was supposed to be lit about then too. so it was just a matter of waiting until it was okay to go. I think that guy from one of Alec’s bands, the one I very nearly hooked up with last year, dropped by to say hi to Alec and Tom. they were talking for a bit, I think he recognized me, but neither of us said anything. soon enough he was gone again.

a few of us set up a table underneath the big tarp, and I brought a deck of cards, and a few friends played kings while I watched. I didn’t feel like also playing, because there’s a lot of rules and it’s a drinking game (though I’ve played it with water before), but they included me on some of the things the cards called for. like never have I ever; I actually kind of like that one because there’s so many things I’ve never done that most people have, so I can usually knock a point off for everyone. for my first one I said “never have I ever eaten a burrito” and I’m pretty sure someone yelled, lmao. not a lie, I haven’t. second one I wanted to say “never have I ever dated anyone”, but I’m pretty sure T still considers me an ex, so I amended it to “never have I ever dated anyone longer than a month”. T heard that and went “wait. you and [boy I lost my v-card to] weren’t dating??” and I said no; that was the truth. hard to believe, given the weird history we had, but nope. if I’ve dated anyone for any amount of time, T was it. and I don’t even count that anymore.

Tom’s girlfriend is super nice, and she and I talked a bit this farm jam. she brought face and body paint and helped some people with their makeup, I’d brought temp tattoos that came with an order I placed years ago and had never used (they were urban outfitters tats and had some cool designs), and I had roll-on body glitter I bought a few months ago specifically for farm jam. the tattoos were cute; Emily and I found black and pink tear drops on the sheet and did matching eye tats, T’s wife picked the rainbow and put it on her cheek, the friend we’d driven up with put an eye on his forehead and a rose on the top of his hand, Emily put a cat with a top hat and a bowtie on her wrist and a black cat on the other, I had a little banner that said “your mom” that I put on my upper arm, Tom took one tiny little anchor and put it on his upper arm (like a comically tiny muscle tat), and A took a tiny pentagram and put it on the top side of one finger. my banner is still on my arm, lmao.

all of that may or may not have been friday night instead of saturday. because saturday I just remember waiting by the fire, and then soon enough it was time to go to the barn. I put some glitter on my cheeks under my eyes (I’d covered my arms friday night, I think, but it wipes off pretty easily), brought my flower crown, and went with the group that was leaving.

it happened again. nobody said anything to me or even looked at me. we were standing around waiting for Starship to set up, some people went closer to the barn once they did... I was standing by T’s wife who needed a chair due to being 7 months pregnant, then T came back from wherever he was and stood between us, knelt down and talked to her, blah blah. we listened to Starship for a while, but really I was just waiting for the fire. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of Starship’s music. they got the fire going pretty late and we moved up the hill to watch. it starts with people throwing a lot of paper onto this massive wood pile, and then they start lighting it. the whole thing goes up in a matter of minutes. a group went up the hill with me, but they took their places closer to the pile. I went to the edge because I don’t like being close when it gets so hot, and it does get hot. nobody followed. I think Richie saw and was debating joining me, but also opted not to. either way, I waited til it was mostly up in flames, then walked back to camp alone. I was still in a godawful mood. I grabbed 4 slices of cheese out of my cooler and brought them back to my tent; made two cheese sandwiches with the bread I brought, got into my pajamas, and sat in bed to eat and read. I was probably asleep before midnight. didn’t even bother going back to the barn, but most people were up til they stopped the late-night sets around 4:30. I heard them come back to camp because they were talking so damn loud. nobody noticed I was gone, seems like. guess they thought I was just being my “usual”.

I woke up sunday morning probably around 6:30. I know I woke up earlier, but I managed to fall back asleep again. some people were already up, starting to pack up. sunday morning is everyone’s least favorite. we all have to tear down camp and clean up and it’s just miserable; even more so for the people that get really fucked up saturday night. so after a quick breakfast of a banana and a granola bar, I started packing up too. it was even worse than setting up because of the mud; I couldn’t go into my tent with my shoes on but I needed to go in and out to get stuff. I’m really glad I brought a shoe tray to put my muddy shoes on, because I used that as a platform to stand on inside the tent without having to take off my muddy boots. at one point I felt like I might pass out so A helped me move the rest of the stuff to my car; thankfully I did get most of it. after a while we said our goodbyes and headed out. T came over to give me a hug, his wife did too. just the hellos and goodbyes.

I talked to A a little in the car. right before we left and on the way out I guess he decided to acknowledge my existence and talk to me again. I was trying to nudge around the topic of why I was in such a foul mood half the festival so he’d bring it up, but he never did. closest I got was saying I didn’t know if I wanted to go next year, but the way the conversation turned it sounded like I was just uncomfortable because I didn’t know half the people in our camp; a lot of the strangers were either friends with T or another friend, Brad. I didn’t tell him I’ve got no plans to visit for festivus or new years either, now.

when we got back to johnstown we both took showers (god it is so nice to use a real bathroom after using a bucket and a camp shower all weekend), and then cooked up two boxes of mac & cheese for lunch. sat around for a little before I decided I should go. I also forgot about end-of-july-4th-weekend traffic, and ended up losing about an hour to just sitting. for no reason. no accidents, just people being fucking morons. it was about an hour from brookville to johnstown, then another 3-3.5 hours home from there. I went and picked up fitzie after I cleaned up all my muddy shit (with my brother’s help), and I really think I pushed it because today was a serious crash day. mom snapped at me earlier because I didn’t move my stuff I’d set out on the deck to dry into the garage, since she emailed me this morning to do it as it was pouring down rain, but I didn’t have the energy to argue with her. “it only takes all of 10 minutes, I don’t see what’s so hard...” “yeah, okay.” yeah, all of 10 minutes, between succumbing for 2 hours to my first crash of the day after folding laundry (not even putting it away; just folding. I almost couldn’t get myself off the floor and into bed), cleaning out two large and very smelly rat cages after I woke up, staving off another crash... I figured it’d stop raining and the stuff would dry out eventually. not sure what the big deal was. I didn’t have the energy to take things from the deck in multiple trips down the stairs and into the garage, where mom parks her car. I didn’t even have the energy to read most of the tumblr posts I scrolled through today. but there was no explaining that to her. she’ll never understand how shitty my energy levels are.

I got a lot of bug bites this weekend. a ton of mosquito bites, which I’ve started reacting strongly to, and probably a spider bite on my neck near my collarbone. I got a bunch of mosquito bites on the tops of my feet probably friday night, because I woke up needing to scratch them a lot. probably let some fucker in at some point in the night and it had a little feast. the bites on my legs turned into welts, and I think one even bruised a little. hopefully no tick bites, but even if I did get one... I’ve already had Lyme disease, what more can they do to me?

I’m just tired. I don’t feel like my friends don’t still care about me, or that they dislike me (I don’t think?), but I did get this gutting feeling that they wouldn’t miss me at all if I weren’t there. they might have even had a better time without me. must’ve been saturday I had another mood dip, just lying in my tent crying. feeling completely unwanted, unloveable (because what do I even have to offer? I don’t even eat burritos, fuck’s sake. I don’t do anything ‘fun’, I don’t like a lot of things most people like... what place do I even have in this world? who would ever want this?), just.. not enjoying the feeling that my friends wouldn’t care if I weren’t even there. I still care about them a ton. I realized I’d been thinking “I just want to go home” since friday night, and I was already decided on skipping new years and festivus this year. I’m so tired of dealing with this. after A managed to get back on speaking terms with me, now he’s being insensitive again. I’m tired of the back and forth. I’d rather be at home and be alone because I choose to be, not be surrounded by people I care about and be made to feel alone. I think Richie noticed I’d been crying, once I’d decided my face was at least presentable and had gone back out to the fire. I couldn’t hide the sniffles from the stuffy nose, and he turned and talked to me a little. asked me about my traveling this week. sometimes you just need that. someone to ask you things and talk to you, even if they don’t really care about the answers. I was really grateful to have that.

anyways. gotta get up early. I’m about to have a miserable day tomorrow, and I’ve got so much to do.

#farm jam rambles

0 notes

rollcough9-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Roasted Butternut Squash Broccoli Cheddar Chicken Couscous

Dec 10

Delicious, cheesy broccoli cheddar chicken couscous with sweet and spicy roasted butternut squash. You’ll love this easy, cozy and quick dinner recipe for any night of the week!

Welcome back from #AKCookieWeek! I hope you had a delicious weekend. Sarah was here and after 3 Chicago bridal shops, she finally found her perfect dress. So exciting!

I sent her home with today’s recipe and I can’t wait to share it with you too.

Here’s the deal. Tony and I were deliriously hungry one night but couldn’t make up our minds as to where we should go out to eat. Sometimes figuring out and agreeing on a restaurants is much like figuring out what we’re going to watch on Netflix. We just can’t decide.

After about an hour of going back and forth on which restaurant we were going to go out to, I opened the fridge and decided that I was simply going to whip something up. I pulled out chicken breast, broccoli and cheddar cheese. Then I peeked into the cupboard and found the last of my very favorite pearl couscous (which basically taste like mini baby gnocchi) and knew what was about to go down.

About 30 minutes later, Tony and I were having a fabulous, filling, veggie and protein-packed dinner while watching some weird documentary about Scottish wild cats on Netflix. Ha.

The next day there were leftovers, so I decided to roast some butternut squash that needed to used up and add it to the dish. OH MY GOSH, it was fabulous — sweet, spicy, cheesy, savory and SO good I knew I had to remake it for the blog.

I will say that the couscous really takes the dish to the next level. It’s slightly chewy and doughy, which gives it a pasta-like flavor/texture. Please note: It is important that you use pearl or israeli couscous to keep the texture of the dish.

Not only is this recipe delicious, but also packed with lot of veggies, lean protein and FLAVOR! I also can’t forget to mention that it’s pretty easy to whip up. Basically this is like a healthy version of mac and cheese with veggies and protein. I’M SO INTO IT.

The broccoli florets actually steams in the pot with the couscous, then you add in your cooked chicken, roasted butternut squash and cheese. Stir it all together and you’ve got yourself an easy weeknight dinner. Tony says it’s delicious with a little hot sauce on top, if that’s your thing!

If you make this recipe, don’t forget to rate it below and leave a comment! You can also use the hashtag #ambitiouskitchen on Instagram. Enjoy – xo!

SEE HOW TO MAKE THE COUSCOUS:

Roasted Butternut Squash Broccoli Cheddar Chicken Couscous

Author: Monique of AmbitiousKitchen.com

Nutrition Information

Serving size: 1/4th of recipe

Calories: 543

Fat: 18.9g

Saturated fat: 6.8g

Carbohydrates: 26.4g

Sugar: 8g

Fiber: 6.3g

Protein: 42.4g

Recipe type: Dinner

Prep time: 15 mins

Cook time: 25 mins

Total time: 40 mins

For the butternut squash:

4 cups cubed butternut squash (from about 2 pounds butternut squash)

1 tablespoon olive oil

½ tablespoon pure maple syrup

½ teaspoon chili powder

½ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

Freshly ground salt and pepper

For the chicken:

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 pound boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into bite sized chunks (can also use boneless skinless chicken thighs)

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Freshly ground salt and pepper

For the broccoli cheddar couscous:

1 3/4 cup water or low sodium chicken broth

1 cup israeli (or pearl) couscous

1 medium head broccoli, cut into small florets (about 3 ½ cups broccoli florets)

1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Freshly ground salt and pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Place butternut squash cubes on the baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and maple syrup. Sprinkle on chili powder, garlic powder and cayenne pepper. Generously season with freshly ground salt and pepper. Use your hands to toss together so that the squash is well coated. Bake for 20-30 minutes, flipping halfway through, until the squash is tender. Once done, allow to rest on baking sheet until you are ready to add to the rest of the dish.

While the squash is cooking, cook your chicken breast. Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil to a large skillet and place over medium-high heat. Add in chicken. Immediately sprinkle with garlic powder, paprika and cayenne pepper and generously season with salt and pepper. Cook chicken for 5-8 minutes until no longer pink. Remove from heat and set skillet aside or transfer to a bowl.

To make the couscous: In this order add the following to a large pot or dutch oven: water, couscous and broccoli florets. Bring to a boil, then cover, reduce heat to low and cook for 8-10 minutes total; check after 5 minutes and give everything a stir. Replace the lid and allow to cook for 3-5 more minutes to absorb the water. Stir again, and then add in cooked chicken and shredded cheddar. Stir to melt the cheddar. Finally fold in the roasted butternut squash. Taste and adjust seasonings as necessary. Enjoy! Serves 4.

To make vegetarian: Instead of chicken, feel free to use 1 can of drained and rinsed chickpeas or white beans. Add directly to couscous once it is done cooking. To make gluten free: You can try using a white basmati rice in place of the couscous, but please know that liquids and cooking times will differ. To make vegan: Instead of using cheese, try using 1/2 Siete queso, a vegan queso. You can also make a homemade cashew cheese sauce and blend in.

3.5.3251

Recipe by: Monique Volz // Ambitious Kitchen

Photography by: Sasha of Eat Love Eat

More recipes with butternut squash:

Butternut Squash, Chickpea & Lentil Moroccan Stew

Spicy Butternut Squash Black Bean Enchiladas with Chipotle Greek Yogurt Sauce

Butternut Squash and Black Bean Enchilada Skillet

PIN THIS RECIPE:

Source: https://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/roasted-butternut-squash-broccoli-cheddar-chicken-couscous/

0 notes

captainmariamhassan-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Understanding kitten behavior

To understand kitten behavior and kitten body language, you should know that not only does your kitten use her mouth to talk to you, she also speaks through her eyes, ears, tail, body posture, and even her scent. Felinese is like any other foreign language:

If you talk to a person from a foreign culture and listen to the words only, you may be confused.

But if you look at how someone stands, whether he’s smiling or frowning, and whether his hands are loose or clinched, you start to understand more of what he’s saying.

Understanding kitten body language

Your kitten uses different parts of her body in combination to get her message across. If you’re going to be a good kitten communicator, you can’t just listen to what the kitten says. You have to think feline and look at her big picture, at the whole kitten. Like a line of kitty greeting cards, kittens have facial expressions and body positions to handle all situations.

1.Tail

The first thing to understand kitten body language and kitten behavior is observing the cat’s tail. Your kitten’s tail is one of his most effective communications tools. How he holds his tail can clue you in to how your kitten feels at any particular moment:

When the tail is held up high like a flagpole, he’s confident and contented.

A kitten wiggles his tail at either the base or the tip as a friendly greeting.

With a tail safely curled under his body, he feels threat- ened. This is a submissive posture that says, “Curses! Caught red-pawed.”

The tail can fluff to more than twice its normal size when he’s terrified. Be careful, he can switch from retreat to charge in the blink of an eye.

A flick of the tail tells you that your cat’s disappointed in some way.

A wagging tail means you’re bothering her (the exact opposite of a wagging dog tail).

If you see your kitten staring at something and slowly twitching her tail tip while crouched, she’s curious or excited. My kittens will assume this position when they sit on the window perch and spy a bird.

As a cat grows more frustrated with the situation, she’ll use her tail more forcefully. When motion escalates to thumping against the floor, look out and stop whatever you’re doing to annoy her. She’s getting ready to nail you (or the other cat).

2.Ears

The 2nd thing to understand kitten body language and kitten behavior is observing the cat’s ears. Your kitten’s ears not only hear, they speak volumes: The position of his ears reflects his mood. Because 30 muscles control each ear, your kitten can move his ears 180 degrees and change their shape. Although it may vary from kitten to kitten

When he’s feeling friendly, content, or relaxed, your kitten’s ears face forward and are slightly tilted back.

Erect ears mean he’s alert even if he’s lounging.

Ears pointed forward indicate he’s curious about something.

A fearful or defensive kitten will usually have his ears back and down — lying flat against his head. He does this to protect his ears from being scratched or bitten in case the ruckus escalates into a full contact brawl. He also avoids eye contact. A submissive kitten holds his ears like airplane wings

The aggressive cat on the offensive rotates his ears so the inside of his ears are folded up, but facing behind him. Beware! You don’t want to bother a kitten with flattened or rotated ears.

3.Eyes

The 3rd thing to understand kitten body language and kitten behavior is observing the cat’s eyes. Your kitten’s eyes provide a window into what’s going on inside her mind. Take a close look at her eyes. Every part of her eye sends its own message. Especially pay attention to her pupils (the black dot at the center of her iris). Not only do the pupils contract and dilate to control the light, they react to emotional responses:

Contracted pupils: A relaxed or contented kitten will hold her eyes half-open with her pupils contracted.

Dilated pupils: When your kitten’s bug-eyed with fully dilated pupils, look out; she’s either fearful, defensive, surprised, aggressive, or maybe even preparing to attack.

Staring: An unblinking stare from her means she’s challenging you. I use dominance staring as a discipline tool on occasions when the kittens play with me too roughly or attack bare skin. Silly as it sounds, I get down on the kitten’s level, make direct eye contact, and hiss. Most of the time they stop what they’re doing and start to groom their paws or butt as if to change the subject.

Blinking: The opposite of the stare is when your kitten deliberately blinks at you. He’s telling you he likes you and feels safe and comfortable with you. You can return the favor by blinking slowly back. Some people call it a kitty kiss. You will know that your kitten has developed real affection for you and feels comfortable with you if he slowly closes his eyes.

A kitten’s eye view

Kittens can see almost as well as humans with 20/20 vision can. In some ways, kittens can see even better. Kitty vision is designed to aid in hunting. Consider these interesting tidbits:

1-Kittens are slightly nearsighted so that they can focus in on a nearby mouse or lizard rather than distant prey.

2-Kittens’ retinas have more rods than cones. (Rods are the cells used for nighttime vision; cones are the cells used for daytime sight and seeing colors.) Having more rods helps a cat see at night, enabling him to pinpoint sudden motion with his peripheral vision. (Of course, having fewer cones means that your kitten can’t see colors as vividly as you do.)

3-Your kitten has large, elliptical pupils that contract and dilate much faster than your round pupil can. Because of its size, the kitten’s pupil lets more light in. His eyes have a tapetum membrane that reflects light through a second time in the opposite direction creating a visual double exposure of light (this is why your kitten can hunt in near darkness). The yellow glow seen when light shines onto your kitten’s eyes is the light reflecting off of the tapetum membrane.

4-If you don’t mean to discipline your kitten, but he catches you looking at him, try slowly blinking at him to break up the stare. That should put him more at ease. Also try this during stressful times to calm your kitten down.

4.Whiskers

The 4th thing to understand kitten body language and kitten behavior is observing the cat’s whiskers. Although your kitten uses his whiskers like a probe to determine whether a hole is big enough for him to go through, he also uses them to communicate.

When your kitten feels relaxed, he holds his whiskers to the side, allowing them to droop down.

A curious kitten perks his whiskers up and forward slightly.

A hunting kitten moves his whiskers forward — a great help for locating prey in the dark.

Making sense of scents

Your kitten marks his territory using pheromones from glands located in his chin, temples, the corner of his lips, and at the base of his tail. If a male kitten is un-neutered and becomes sexually mature (between 6 and 9 months of age), he may start marking territory with pee pee graffiti.

If he becomes the dominant tomcat, he’ll mark his territory by leaving his poop uncovered for all the other cats to find, as if to say, “I’m the king of my world.” The other cats and kittens cover their poop, leaving themselves in protective anonymity. Early spaying and neutering helps prevent the need to do this kind of marking. However, older neutered kittens sometimes spray to express anxiety about changes in life.

Some of the ways your kitten’s going to communicate to you

Kittens not only speak to you through vocalizations and posture, but their physical contact with you also speaks volumes. Following are some of the ways your kitten’s going to communicate to you:

1.Head butt

To understand kitten body language and kitten behavior, you should know more about head butt. The head butt is a friendly cat-to-cat greeting that your kitten may extend to the favorite people in her life — the equivalent of a kitty hug. She’s greeting you like you would greet another cat at a family reunion. She’s also marking you with scent from the glands around her mouth and ears.

2.Kneading

To understand kitten body language and kitten behavior, you should know more about kneading. Whether you call it kneading, milk treading, or making biscuits, kneading is a sign that your kitten is a very happy camper.

When she’s resting on your lap and massages your legs with her paws, she may feel as if she’s gone back to her mother’s nest. After all, you feed and protect her like her mother did.

When she was a baby kitten, she massaged her mother while she suckled to make the milk flow faster. An older kitten kneads because she feels safe and content.

This kind of affection can be a bit rough on your legs when those needle-sharp claws dig into your thighs. Like several other kitten responses, this one is a compliment, so don’t get mad or brush your kitten away; you’ll confuse him. A real queen would never push her kittens away like that.

Instead, trim his claws regularly. Another way to protect your legs is to lay a thick towel or blanket across your knees as you sit down, before your kitten climbs into your lap.

3.Drooling

To understand kitten body language and kitten behavior, you should know more about drooling. You may notice as you pet or stroke you kitten that he’s not only purring, but he’s also drooling, too. The petting has sent your kitten into such a state of euphoria that he’s actually forgotten to swallow.

Take this as a wonderful compliment. Still, if you object to a little kitten spit landing on your clothes, occasionally press your finger against your kitten’s nose or the side of his mouth. He’ll swallow instinctively without shattering his mood.

This kind of drooling isn’t a problem, providing it only happens when you’re petting your kitten. If he dribbles all the time, he may have a problem with his gums or teeth, which would justify a trip to the vet’s office.

4.Licking

To understand kitten body language and kitten behavior, you should know more about licking. When your kitten licks you, it doesn’t mean that she’s kissing you. She’s probably grooming you. But don’t be insulted. Kitties only groom other kitties they feel are in their own family. When she licks you, she’s telling you that you’re one of the clan.

5.Wanna smell my butt?

Your kitten may approach you, turn around, and present his bottom to you as if to say, “Ya wanna sniff me?” This is something he only invites his friends to do, whether the friend is human, feline, or even canine. Some experts say the kitten is offering an invitation to take a sniff of his anal glands so you’ll know who he is — sort of a kitty handshake.

Others say you remind him of his mother, and he’s asking you to groom his bottom. I don’t recommend you go to that extreme to bond with your kitten, but thanking him and scratching the base of his tail when he presents his butt is an acceptable response. Regardless of whether he’s asking for grooming or greeting, take the presentation of his bottom as a compliment — an intimate and meaningful moment, at least for a kitten.

6.Leg weaving

To understand kitten body language and kitten behavior, you should know more about leg weaving. As with most of your kitten’s affectionate actions, leg weaving originated with mom. A kitten greets his mom with his tail upright, and then wraps his tail around her rear end to get her to lie down so he can eat.

As he gets older, he continues to rub against friendly cats to place his scent on them. His tail has scent from his anal gland on it. As he rubs his tail against another cat or you, he’s marking you — another display of affection and a good way for him to get attention or food. It works on me.

7.The classic Halloween cat posture

To understand kitten body language and kitten behavior, you should know more about the halloween cat posture. When something frightens your kitten, she may assume the classic Halloween cat posture. (Sometimes playing kittens assume this position out of excitement rather than fear.)

She fluffs up her tail as big as it can look, puffs up her fur by making it stand up on end, and arches her back. She assumes this posture when she wants to look bigger and meaner in the hopes of bluffing a potential attacker into believing she’s invincible.

This terrified kitten won’t approach you head on. She stands with her profile to you and, instead of turning and running away, hops off to the side so that her opponent (you in this case) continues to see a big scary cat even as she’s madly retreating. When you see this posture, back off. Even though she’s a cute, adorable kitten, she may bite you. If you do get bitten, speak to her in a gentle voice and leave her alone until she calms down.

8.See my tummy

If you’ve ever watched littermates play, you may have seen one roll over with all four paws in the air. With her claws sheathed, she’s inviting contact. The other kitten jumps right in, and the growling and tumbling mock battle begins. Your kitten may also greet you with this position.

When she shows you her belly, it could mean that she’s so relaxed and so totally trusts you that she’s showing you her most vulnerable position. She’s not saying, “Scratch my belly,” like a dog would. It’s a show of trust, not an invitation.

If your kitten offers you her belly when she gets older, you may want to reconsider before you reach down to rub that feline Venus’ flytrap. Look a little closer. When lying on her back, your kitten is in a heavily armed defensive position. On her back, she can attack an adversary with claws from all four feet plus her teeth.

Read more about cat and kitten behavior:

Cat vocalizations

My Kitten is crazy – Crazy kitten behavior

Using Comfort Zone Feliway

Cat Marking Territory

Cat Spraying

Cat Body Language

Understand your cat body language and cat behavior

Cat Separation Anxiety

Cat Scratching

Aggression in cats towards others

Aggressive cat behavior toward other cats and solutions

Common Cat Behavior Problems and Solutions

https://www.xyqmfc.com/kitten-behavior-kitten-body-language/

0 notes

monascienceblog-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Understanding kitten behavior

If you talk to a person from a foreign culture and listen to the words only, you may be confused.

But if you look at how someone stands, whether he’s smiling or frowning, and whether his hands are loose or clinched, you start to understand more of what he’s saying.

Understanding kitten body language

1.Tail

When the tail is held up high like a flagpole, he’s confident and contented.

A kitten wiggles his tail at either the base or the tip as a friendly greeting.

With a tail safely curled under his body, he feels threat- ened. This is a submissive posture that says, “Curses! Caught red-pawed.”

The tail can fluff to more than twice its normal size when he’s terrified. Be careful, he can switch from retreat to charge in the blink of an eye.

A flick of the tail tells you that your cat’s disappointed in some way.

A wagging tail means you’re bothering her (the exact opposite of a wagging dog tail).

2.Ears

When he’s feeling friendly, content, or relaxed, your kitten’s ears face forward and are slightly tilted back.

Erect ears mean he’s alert even if he’s lounging.

Ears pointed forward indicate he’s curious about something.

The aggressive cat on the offensive rotates his ears so the inside of his ears are folded up, but facing behind him. Beware! You don’t want to bother a kitten with flattened or rotated ears.

3.Eyes

Contracted pupils: A relaxed or contented kitten will hold her eyes half-open with her pupils contracted.

Dilated pupils: When your kitten’s bug-eyed with fully dilated pupils, look out; she’s either fearful, defensive, surprised, aggressive, or maybe even preparing to attack.

A kitten’s eye view

Kittens can see almost as well as humans with 20/20 vision can. In some ways, kittens can see even better. Kitty vision is designed to aid in hunting. Consider these interesting tidbits:

1-Kittens are slightly nearsighted so that they can focus in on a nearby mouse or lizard rather than distant prey.

4.Whiskers

When your kitten feels relaxed, he holds his whiskers to the side, allowing them to droop down.

A curious kitten perks his whiskers up and forward slightly.

A hunting kitten moves his whiskers forward — a great help for locating prey in the dark.

Making sense of scents

Some of the ways your kitten’s going to communicate to you

Kittens not only speak to you through vocalizations and posture, but their physical contact with you also speaks volumes. Following are some of the ways your kitten’s going to communicate to you:

1.Head butt

2.Kneading

When she’s resting on your lap and massages your legs with her paws, she may feel as if she’s gone back to her mother’s nest. After all, you feed and protect her like her mother did.

When she was a baby kitten, she massaged her mother while she suckled to make the milk flow faster. An older kitten kneads because she feels safe and content.

Instead, trim his claws regularly. Another way to protect your legs is to lay a thick towel or blanket across your knees as you sit down, before your kitten climbs into your lap.

3.Drooling

4.Licking

5.Wanna smell my butt?

6.Leg weaving

7.The classic Halloween cat posture

8.See my tummy

Read more about cat and kitten behavior:

Cat vocalizations

My Kitten is crazy – Crazy kitten behavior

Using Comfort Zone Feliway

Cat Marking Territory

Cat Spraying

Cat Body Language

Understand your cat body language and cat behavior

Cat Separation Anxiety

Cat Scratching

Aggression in cats towards others

Aggressive cat behavior toward other cats and solutions

Common Cat Behavior Problems and Solutions

https://www.xyqmfc.com/kitten-behavior-kitten-body-language/

0 notes

nohaahmedali-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Understanding kitten behavior

If you talk to a person from a foreign culture and listen to the words only, you may be confused.

But if you look at how someone stands, whether he’s smiling or frowning, and whether his hands are loose or clinched, you start to understand more of what he’s saying.

Understanding kitten body language

1.Tail

When the tail is held up high like a flagpole, he’s confident and contented.

A kitten wiggles his tail at either the base or the tip as a friendly greeting.

With a tail safely curled under his body, he feels threat- ened. This is a submissive posture that says, “Curses! Caught red-pawed.”

The tail can fluff to more than twice its normal size when he’s terrified. Be careful, he can switch from retreat to charge in the blink of an eye.

A flick of the tail tells you that your cat’s disappointed in some way.

A wagging tail means you’re bothering her (the exact opposite of a wagging dog tail).

2.Ears

When he’s feeling friendly, content, or relaxed, your kitten’s ears face forward and are slightly tilted back.

Erect ears mean he’s alert even if he’s lounging.

Ears pointed forward indicate he’s curious about something.

The aggressive cat on the offensive rotates his ears so the inside of his ears are folded up, but facing behind him. Beware! You don’t want to bother a kitten with flattened or rotated ears.

3.Eyes

Contracted pupils: A relaxed or contented kitten will hold her eyes half-open with her pupils contracted.

Dilated pupils: When your kitten’s bug-eyed with fully dilated pupils, look out; she’s either fearful, defensive, surprised, aggressive, or maybe even preparing to attack.

A kitten’s eye view

Kittens can see almost as well as humans with 20/20 vision can. In some ways, kittens can see even better. Kitty vision is designed to aid in hunting. Consider these interesting tidbits:

1-Kittens are slightly nearsighted so that they can focus in on a nearby mouse or lizard rather than distant prey.

4.Whiskers

When your kitten feels relaxed, he holds his whiskers to the side, allowing them to droop down.

A curious kitten perks his whiskers up and forward slightly.

A hunting kitten moves his whiskers forward — a great help for locating prey in the dark.

Making sense of scents

Some of the ways your kitten’s going to communicate to you

Kittens not only speak to you through vocalizations and posture, but their physical contact with you also speaks volumes. Following are some of the ways your kitten’s going to communicate to you:

1.Head butt

2.Kneading

When she’s resting on your lap and massages your legs with her paws, she may feel as if she’s gone back to her mother’s nest. After all, you feed and protect her like her mother did.

When she was a baby kitten, she massaged her mother while she suckled to make the milk flow faster. An older kitten kneads because she feels safe and content.

Instead, trim his claws regularly. Another way to protect your legs is to lay a thick towel or blanket across your knees as you sit down, before your kitten climbs into your lap.

3.Drooling

4.Licking

5.Wanna smell my butt?

6.Leg weaving

7.The classic Halloween cat posture

8.See my tummy

Read more about cat and kitten behavior:

Cat vocalizations

My Kitten is crazy – Crazy kitten behavior

Using Comfort Zone Feliway

Cat Marking Territory

Cat Spraying

Cat Body Language

Understand your cat body language and cat behavior

Cat Separation Anxiety

Cat Scratching

Aggression in cats towards others

Aggressive cat behavior toward other cats and solutions

Common Cat Behavior Problems and Solutions

https://www.xyqmfc.com/kitten-behavior-kitten-body-language/

0 notes