#all the confident claims it makes

[jadedresearcher]

Zampanio Is a Really Fun Game

But don't take my word for it, check out the horrorterror Google's Large Language Model that Frank's botmaster pointed us all towards (source post) making a fake AI podcast based on a collection of all my Zampanio tumblr posts that the Archiving Watcher of Threads collated.

I'm sure everything the AI has to say about Zampanio is EXTREMELY accurate and should be taken at face value :) :) ;)

[babychosen]

save a horse (ride a cowboy)

8pm, Friday. Red dress. Booth near the end of the bar, by the dart board.

She forgot how demanding the text felt, but it had only encouraged her to want to show up even more.

[wisteriasymphony]

would you guys call me crazy if i said archetype wise that marinette's status as a Plucky Girl-Next-Door takes priority over her status as an Aspirational Everywoman. cause i have thoughts about this

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Sometimes I try to write down thoughts about this campaign but I admittedly have not been paying enough attention to feel confident in my character analysis so I write an incoherent text post and then delete it because I don't know if I'm actually making the correct judgments.

[thepandalion]

finally watched the latest Severance episode

what the fuck

[jmdbjk]

Not the usual ...

Hate'll paralyze your mind Gotta see the other side It costs you nothing to be kind Not so different you and I Looking for love in a different light Until we find that equal sign ~~ j-hope

I am not sure how to start or if I can even touch on everything that's going on in my mind and what follows will probably be disjointed, messy and all over the place.

When the concept of "fandom implosion" was set in front of me, I was skeptical (my middle name), "no, that most likely won't happen."

Me: "Army are pretty cohesive, we are mostly smart, critical thinking humans who can spot the bullshit a mile away and we are resilient enough to carry on."

Remarks such as: "you don't need to announce your departure from the fandom, just go!" accompanied by "the fandom needs a cleansing" and "slough off the ones who are not here to support BTS" and each time, we move on believing we are stronger, better and will persevere.

Yet, every week that goes by since that concept entered my BTS mind, it seems that there is something else that furthers the process of this *now obvious* fandom implosion that is occurring before our eyes.

This stuff going on today in Korea, the wreaths in front of the Hybe building, the trucks, the relentless negativity supposedly FROM K-ARMY is downright disappointing and disheartening. They said for I-Army to let them handle it.

But this is not it y'all.

You have played right into MHJ's hands in sowing negativity in the general public and korean news media. Most concerning to me now: my trust in K-Army has faltered. I know K-Army is not a monolith, just as no faction of the fandom holds more weight than any other, but damn, these people have the attention of their general news media and now they have to deal with the consequences.

Hybe put out a statement about the status of legal proceedings and the statement included an apology to Army. THEY APOLOGIZED TO US, THE FANDOM!

But obviously, that wasn't enough.

I am Army and know all the details of what has happened and is happening and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE LOGIC OF RELENTLESSLY BEATING UP HYBE, I am confused as to what's happening. What makes anyone think the general public and news media will dive deep enough to understand all the details and nuances?????

Can this also be the work of the organized, paid antis? Yes, it could, but some of my trusted K-Army accounts on X are also supporting this mess. WHAT THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL THINKING???

Maybe I'm too American to understand the logic behind what's happening over there. Or maybe its just my nature to always think beyond the action happening to what the aftermath might look like.

But tell me, exactly WHO and exactly WHAT company are we to have faith in for BTS if not Hybe and BigHit? Tell me who? Just cut the group loose and then what? Let them get eaten alive by the media, the general public, every other fandom and hater? Force them to focus on rebuilding their own careers? Force them to have to rebuild another company? How does that support them? How does that protect them? Do you think another company will instantly materialize to pick up the pieces? If you do, you are truly living on another planet.

They should be focusing on their art, not on any of this.

It is usually easy for me to reassure myself that "this is only happening on X/social media," and mostly removed from the real world. But not this time.

The most heartbreaking thing about it all is NONE OF THE MEMBERS can refute, debunk, rebut or speak on this on their own behalf. They are being raked over and over again and there is nothing they can do except carry on. RM doing his best at promoting. Jimin and Jungkook just serving their country the best they can. Jin coming back not into loving arms of his fandom but the ashes of what we once were. Yoongi... my god... I can imagine the cyphers pouring out of him this very second... but he must be silent now.

I am here to support BTS, all seven members. As soon as Namjoon's single was available again on the BTS store website, I bought it. I will buy the song on Apple Music and Amazon. I plan to march over to Target on the day of the album's release to buy it. I can't wait for shipping, I must have it immediately. I have done this with every member's release.

I want to wake up and this be a bad dream. I am certain all the members do too.

My apologies for this very negative post but damn, I had to get it out of my head. Individually, we each have a limit. I am going to recharge my BTS batteries so I can fight another day in what's left of this crazy fandom.

No truer words spoken: Being a fan of BTS, being ARMY, is not for the faint of heart.

[nikatyler]

Pastel: "Jesse's case of immortality - well, long livespan, really - is different from yours, but you'll help her navigate it when the time comes, right?"

Ross: "Of course. Not that I'm the best option. I don't know where all the old vampires get their wisdom from. I still don't know anything."

Pastel: "I think you do, Ross. I think you're wiser than you realize."

[mamawasatesttube]

""""um well kon and bart have to go into space/the future to get involved with weird shenanigans"""" my GOD. youre in the comics fandom read a Fucking Comic now and then maybe

[pride-of-storm]

on the one hand 'i get to put up whatever shower curtain i want' is kind of a stupid hill to die on, but on the other hand i have acknowledged your claim on every other hill i could have picked, so fuckin acknowledge my claim on this one

[moodr1ng]

i wish i could edit the lava lamp wikipedia page to include proper crediting of donald dunnet for actually inventing the first lava lamps but i think the sources being dunnets own family might get rejected and im scared of wikipedia editors

[aeide-thea]

truly just SUCH a typical tumblr experience but like.

Familiar Tumblr Name makes a post that's like: 'you know how fast fashion perpetuates itself by selling us clothing that gets dingy and grody really fast, so we have to replace it yearly?'

me: uh, no, actually—historically i've found that the few fast fashion pieces i acquired long outstayed their welcome, and were perfectly wearable long after i was heartily sick of them! but go on, i guess

FTN: 'let me tell you about this traditional domestic wisdom (implied: that's been lost because of, uh, capitalism) that will fix this problem (that you, too, definitely have) for you!'

me, googling: okay so this residue that FTN said was somehow a Fast Fashion thing is apparently generally caused by like. fabric softener and/or hard water. using discount detergents that skimp on active ingredients. using too much detergent so it doesn't wash out. letting your bedding go too long between washes. letting your washer go too long between cleans. etc. anyway. lots of specific factors here, many of which may in fact not apply to you in particular!

but like. why get specific when instead we could assert You Know This Problem, Right? This Lost Traditional Wisdom Will Definitely Help You Personally!!

[roaringheat]

During my shift today, I had a customer refuse to let me remake her drink cause she "didn't want a drink from someone who didn't know how to do their job" AND had a customer tell me that I make the best lattes and that she was lucky I was there today. I'm a barista of variety

[homosociallyyours]

--

[freakalot]

gojo hates condoms ☆

not even in an ‘i can’t feel a thing’ frat-fuck way either. he just wants to be close to you. he’s touch starved as it is and being inside of you is quite literally the closet he can be to you. why would he want a barrier between his achy length and your silken walls?

he hates condoms. hates them like they’re pointing south on his moral compass. hates them like they hurt to use—which they do, in a way—the mental anguish feels real to him, at least. he picks up a fuss in the grocery store when you pull a pack of ribbed condoms from the shelf to try because why would you seek pleasure from artificial ridges when the protruding veins of his cock would feel just as good if not dressed in a condom?

sometimes he eats you out for twice as long as usual to get you really fucked out and dumb. he’ll make you cum hard and fast and so much that your mind is a mess in the hopes that you’ll forget all about your safety precautions and let him feel you from the inside out. but you always catch on. with a tsk and a finger pointed to the draw where he keeps the horrid things out of sight.

so when you let him fuck you raw for the first time, gojo is reeling. it’s on the condition that he promises to pull out, and promise he does—with a pinky finger hooked around yours and his lips to his thumb—he promises to pull out.

he decides on missionary, because as much as he loves the hundred different positions he knows how to wrangle you into, he wants to connect with you. to make love, not fuck.

and even your wetness against his tip is enough to jolt his stomach downwards. collecting your glossing over his angry head as he rubs himself up and down your folds—he would cum just like this if he wasn’t so stuck on feeling all of you. you’re warm and wet and tight as he pushes against your entrance and oh god he’s going to cum already.

“oh,” he stills, eyes deadset on yours as he slides into you. his tip is rubbing against that spot that makes your back arch upwards and it takes everything in you not to laugh at the distraught look on his face as he says “i have to pull out.”

“you’re joking, right?”

“i really wish i was baby,” he looks pained. he’s never felt something so heavenly and ungodly at the same time. he wants to do bad things, to fuck you into the mattress and breed you full of himself until you’re too weak to care about the aftermath of such recklessness. “i can’t pull out.”

“what?” you laugh, his balls tighten at the sound.

“if i move—” satoru has never looked so serious, “—i will cum. this was a bad idea. why would you let me do this?”

“you’re the one always—”

“actually don’t argue with me, you know what it does to me.” he squeezes his eyes shut and focuses on anything other then the way you feel around him. he does math in his head, thinks about the people he’s killed, how much he loves you… how pretty you look right now… growing old with you.

“i swear you’re getting harder inside of—”

“imsorryiloveyoubutpleasebequietorelseyouaregoingtogetpregnant.”

it takes him a minute of mental gymnastics to feel confident enough to start slowly sliding out of you, but all hope dies when the heel of your foot presses against his ass and with a smile made of sin you pull him deeper inside of you.

he opens his mouth to protest, to tell you he is not joking and all that comes out is a beautiful strangled moan that makes you tighten around him. for a man who claims to be the strongest he is rather weak-willed when it comes to your pussy. he needs to cum so hard that it hurts, but a fear of maybe ruining your life and relationship digs his teeth into his bottom lip.

“don’t do this to me,” he whines.

but you’re smiling. you’re so tight and wet and beautiful and everything he’s ever dreamt of having and holding and you’re smiling. “satoru,” you say, and he’s weak. “cum inside.”

anything for you. it’s gorgeous: the way he lets loose, falling forward to press all his weight into you as he groans and his balls release in hot spurts that you can feel painting your insides white. it’s the connection, the intimacy, the tears that prick at his eyes.

and he doesn’t pull out. no, he presses his hips forward to fuck his cum as deep into you as he possibly can and he vows to throw out every condom in the goddamn house.

god he hates condoms.

part 2

[granonine]

Caleb Makes his Claim

Joshua 14: 6-9. Then the children of Judah came unto Joshua in Gilgal: and Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite said unto him, Thou knowest the thing that the LORD said unto Moses the man of God concerning me and thee in Kadeshbarnea. Forty years old was I when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadeshbarnea to espy out the land; and I brought him word again as it was in mine…

[sunni-stuff]

You who's studying abroad in the UK where you have a one night stand with Ghost at a bar; it's a special night for the soldiers and he gets lucky after making you laugh by telling a shitty joke thanks to the liquid confidence in you. You ask his name, and he tells you there's no need — that you'd forget by the end of the night.

Taking you back home, there was no time wasted. The man practically has you seeing stars. He pumps you full of cum, whispers absolute filth in your ears and leaves bruises on your thighs by the time it's all over. He at least cleans you up, gives you proper aftercare before disappearing while your still fucked out of your mind.

Anyways, a great night. perfect 10/10, you have a story to tell your girls. So, your life continues on track as normal, right?

Wrong!

You dream of him. You have countless dreams of him. They were graphic reenactments of that night. His stubble rubbing against your cheek, his lust-filled eyes burning into yours even in the darkness. And oh, his voice - deep and confident - the very reason why you were drawn to him in the first place.

He creeps into your dreams every single night without fail, so much so that it frustrates you. surely not because you were soaking wet afterwards, no, no, it was only because he was so annoying! Surely it wasn't because you’d end up pumping your fingers in and out your soaked cunt for hours in hopes of recreating that mindblowing orgasm he'd given you only to fail each time.

After your 10th failed attempt to cum, you crack asking the friend who took you out to the bar in the first place if she knew who the soldier was and she claims her boyfriend does. You've met Kyle before, he's a handsome man with dreamy eyes and a gentleman's demeanor.

Kyle tells you he'd pass the word back to his lieutenant, but he's a busy man who doesn't stay in one place. There's no guarantee he'd even respond.

Lucky you, screwing a lieutenant who probably doesn't remember who you are or won't have the time to find out.

The waiting game painfully starts all while the dreams continue. Each torturous night leaves you more and more agitated than before. By the 4th night, you already embraced the restlessness sure to come when the vibration of your phone changes everything.

Directly on the home screen was a text from an unknown number. There was no name, but you had a feeling who it was based on the message.

“Keep the front door unlocked for me.”

A/N I wrote this during hurricane francine when my power went out, I think she gave me superpowers. Idk I'll start flying tmr!!

P2 here