#all the colours look great i can see why it'd be hard to choose

[diezmil10000]

Hi hi, hope you're doing well!! Wanted to ask if you could explain how you pick colours! They're always so appealing to look at... (If you could also explain how you pick blush colours it'd be great! I never manage to pick good ones, no matter how hard I try :'))

hi anon, i'm doing fine!! it's summer right now where i live and that's healing all my problems (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

i have recorded the process of some of my drawings and everything is posted in my youtube channel (in twitter too), so i'll drop the link here and try my best to explain the coloring part to you. the short answer is that none of the colors you see in my drawings are similar to those i initially picked.

i try to keep my lineart loose but i pay attention to the outlines so i can quickly select the outer parts, invert the selection and fill it with the bucket tool. my base colors are all 100% opaque and i don't use any fancy brushes here.

as to how i pick colors, i never use the color picker tool, i eyeball everything. that's important for me because i tend to make all of them warmer: the greens are dark yellows, the pinks are light reds, and everything that's close to blue is very desaturated. i do this even for drawings that turn out much different later, unless i have a very specific vibe in mind from the beginning. i also never use pure whites for anything, and if something is black i make it part of the lineart.

then i always color my lineart!! there's no trick to that, the layer is in normal mode and i just paint it with a darker color than what's below it. i usually add the shadows and highlights at this stage of the drawing too. you're going to kill me for this but shade with gray set in color burn or linear burn (never multiply). i just don't want to think about color variety at this stage because it makes things more difficult for later. sometimes i add textures and some basic color correction here (curves, color balance, layers set in overlay, etc.) but i mostly leave that for the next part.

as to how i choose blush colors, i usually pick the base color and move it towards the saturated end of the color wheel, and a bit more pink. sometimes i add a multiply layer and airbrush hot red over the base colors at low opacity. coloring the lineart with hot colors surrounding the blush areas helps a lot too :)

i also almost always duplicate the lineart, blur it and set it in linear burn (i paint this layer in a light gray). this adds a lot of depth to the drawing, especially if later combined with the bloom effect.

the key to why the colors in my art pop so much is that i don't enjoy drawing as much as i enjoy postprocessing pictures 😂🤣😅👌✌️👍 once i'm satisfied with the "base" colors i merge everything except the background, open a new canvas and go crazy with filters and textures. that's why i use ibispaint X even if i do the lineart elsewhere (krita), and even if it works a bit wonky with big canvases.

i do something different for each drawing here, so first i'm going to explain my reasoning so that you understand my process: i used to have a problem of using very strong colors that overshadowed my beloved lineart into which i had put a lot of effort, so my goal nowadays is to make everything look less contrasted without losing the visual impact of saturated colors. that way the lineart remains a strong point and not just a way to separate one color from another.

what i usually do is duplicate the new merged layer, set it to exclusion mode, add a gradient map and play with the opacity. then i duplicate that and do the same thing with another gradient or another blending mode. i tend to add like 3-6 layers of bullshit over my drawings, including textures and other filters like "bloom" or "sharpen". i understand everything that's going on there but i don't think too deeply about it, i just pick whatever looks best.

for the final touches i always pull up the saturation and contrast (since a lot of it gets lost in the process), and i usually have to manually change some colors (ibispaint X has a filter to do that) or tweak the curves. then i add chromatic aberration, noise set to overlay and little polka dots set to linear dodge.

here are some comparisons of the before and after of recent drawings. the 1st one is very subtle, but you can clearly see how much warmth and depth it gains it gets after all the postprocessing. the 2nd one is so different that i understand why you're curious about how i pick colors. i don't think i can replicate that look just from picking nice colors, there's a lot more going on!! the 3rd one personally feels like it had potential lost (i liked the yellow highlights), but the colors were too strong and all over the place, so the finished result looks more intimate and calm and i like it a lot more.

thank you for the interest anon, i'm very happy that you like the way i color things and i hope i have explained myself. good luck with your own journey!!

[junipersramblings]

An Aroace Perspective on the Problem of Playing "Hard To Get" (Vent post)

So, for those of you that don't know already, I'm an aroace cis female, and I'm a high schooler. Apparently, I'm also fairly good looking, but I don't really have any opinions on that and frankly don't give a shit about dressing to look nice unless it's because I want to.

As you can imagine, this is a great combination of traits /s

I'm putting the actual vent under the cut so if you don't want to read this you don't have to.

I've always thought the concept of playing "hard to get" was strange, even before I figured out that I'm Not Straight. My thoughts were always "why would you want someone who keeps asking you out after you say no? Wouldn't you want to date someone who just leaves you alone if you reject them?" and that remains my perspective today, knowing what I do about myself now.

As for why I'm making this post today? Well, I highly doubt he'll ever see this, as he doesn't know I have a tumblr, let alone my url, but if he ever does? Well, this one's for you (derogatory)

This all started near the end of Year 8 (I'm Year 10 now). We're in the same homegroup, and so we're stuck with each other for two hours a week, every week, until we graduate. We had an assembly and we were sitting in homegroup rows, the same way we always do. By pure chance, I ended up sitting next to him, and happened to overhear him talking with a couple of his friends about a girl he liked, until one of them saw me and said "dude she's right next to you".

His response to this was to ask me out to dinner. (Bear in mind, we're both barely fourteen at this point).

I said no, and he turned back to his friends, disappointed. One of them told him he "hadn't asked me out correctly". Nearly two whole years later, and I still don't know what that means. So he turned back, and he asked me out again. I don't even think he changed how he said it.

Shockingly, I said no.

After that, he asked me what my type was, and I said "uhhhh I dunno. Not you?", since I was still figuring out my sexuality at the time, and quite frankly had no fucking clue what my type was. He seemed disappointed again, but let it go, and that was it for a whole year.

Then at the end of Year 9, we were given the schedule for activities week, which was the final week of the year, and a way for everyone to relax. Everyone in Years 7, 8 and 9 would be split up into four roughly equal groups, and rotate through activities for the entire week. It was actually pretty fun tbh. We went to a water park and a swimming pool, and I ended up really enjoying myself.

But when we were given the schedules, I had the bad luck to be sitting next to the guy that this whole post is about. He asked me what my favourite colour out of the four options (red, blue, yellow and green, the usuals) was, and I said green, so he started talking about how we should both be in the green group, and it'd be like a date. At this point in time, we didn't even know if we could choose our groups (spoiler: no we could not). I completely ignored him, as by this point in time, I was pretty certain of my sexuality, and even if I was proved wrong, it wouldn't have been by him.

Once again, things were pretty chill for a while. A month or two ago, I overheard him talking to his friends about me again, and realised "oh great, he still likes me". Fun times.

Today was when everything went properly wrong though.

Him and his friends have developed this annoying habit of beating pretty much everyone, including the teacher, into homegroup, and locking the door once they're in, so I have to cut through the neighbouring room, which happens to be three of my closest friends' homegroup. (This isn't really necessary for the explanation, but two of these friends happen to be the ones mentioned in a minute)

So I walk in and unlock the door, my usual routine these days. In fact, I unlock, test if the mechanism that keeps it open is working, and prop the door open with the bin when it becomes clear that the mechanism is broken. While this is happening, the boy (who from now on will be referred to as Rat Man, since he kinda looks like one (but like the rats you see in new york sewers in animated films), and it's clearer than just referring to him as "the boy") and his friends are pretty much heckling me from the back of the class, telling me to be a rebel and lock the door, and then Rat Man calls out "DO IT FOR [FRIEND'S NAME]!" I stop and look at them, already pretty sure where this is going, and ask him what my friend has to do with any of this. He's not even in our homegroup for fuck's sake!

Our conversation goes pretty much like this:

Rat Man: You know, because there's a thing between you two, isn't there?

Me: What do you mean?

Rat Man: You're more than friends aren't you?

Me (to myself): Oh for fuck's sake.

Me (louder): There's nothing between us. [FRIEND] and I are just friends.

Rat Man and Co.: Sureeeeee

Me: We are!

Rat Man Sidekick 1: Oh he's just jealous.

Me: I can see that.

Sidekicks: OHHHHHHH

Sidekick 2: Wait, dude, if she's just friends with [FRIEND], then you have a chance!

Me (not missing a beat): No he doesn't.

Sidekicks: OHHHHHHHHHHH

And from there, they start suggesting anyone else I would go out with, starting with one of the other friends from the homegroup I cut through (who isn't even a boy, she's just not out to anyone except our friend group yet), then both of the sidekicks.

To absolutely nobody who has read this far's surprise, I said no to all of them, although I would happily be in a QPR with both of my friends that were mentioned.

The teacher's arrived now, and I get my name checked off on the role so I can go to the assembly about the snow trip that's coming up in a few months (big deal in Australia unsurprisingly).

After that finishes, there's about ten minutes of homegroup left, which I spend, in true Juniper style, writing a fic. (The Malevolent one!)

Afterwards, I confront Rat Man as we're walking to our next classes, none of which we share, thankfully, and tell him we need to talk. His friends respond to this by cheering and slapping him on the back because he's talking to me. They're mostly fairly stereotypical jocks, with the exception of Rat Man himself, who is one of the few people in our homegroup shorter than me (I'm 5'2) and wiry. Hence the rat comparison.

I don't even know how the conversation derailed so quickly, but in about a second, I'm being asked which of the three is the hottest, to which I respond with "None of you?" They insist I have to choose one, and I just shut up. They have to go a different direction to me, so I tell Rat Man we'll talk at lunch. I'm pretty sure I heard him shout "Love you!" as I was walking away, but I'm refusing to unpack that.

Lunch comes, and I eventually track him down, and ask him if he knows what aromantic and asexual mean. (Fuck you tumblr, aromantic is not spelt wrong)

I was prepared for a lot of different directions this could go, and so I'd made sure we were near a teacher if I needed the backup. What I wasn't expecting him to do was burst out laughing and nearly choke on his sandwich.

About thirty seconds later, once he's stopped almost fucking dying, and his friends have asked him what the fuck is wrong with him more than once, he manages to ask "Asexual? Isn't that what chickens are? You know, because they lay eggs?"

I'm starting to think he only passed Health and PE last year because he's good at sports and they count as one combined subject.

I explain what it actually means, and he goes "Oh, so you're rejecting me?"

Me: Yeah, for what, the second time today? Fifth time total?

One of his friends comes and pulls him away, and I'm already late for flute ensemble, so I go to where my friends are, we all have a mutual moment of "what the FUCK?" over what Rat Man thought being ace was, I eat my lunch, and go to flute ensemble.

Once that's over, I have Fashion Design, so I go to class and kind of just stare at the work I'm meant to do for half an hour, before the teacher asks me if I'm okay.

I ask if I can go to the wellbeing office, because I'm having a bad day.

I'd spent the entire lesson up to that point gradually feeling shittier and shittier about what had happened with Rat Man at lunch, since I REALLY hadn't wanted to come out to him, but it seemed like the only way I could maybe get him to leave me alone.

I don't even know if it worked.

I spoke to a teacher, they were really nice about it, and I'm feeling better now, but it still really fucked me up.

The thing about playing "hard to get" is it means that sometimes, some people just can't take a hint. They're so used to the idea of girls that mess around to find someone who will be loyal to them that they assume that's what everyone is doing, and then shit like this happens.

So yeah, fuck the whole idea of playing "hard to get". It's bullshit.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: I'm Not Her (Fic part 92) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts

Tags: @piratewithvigor

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

Notes: The story is set in 2001, which would make Helms 27 and Kirby 31. This story also blends Kayfabe and Reality. Certain people speak in different colours, Mainly: Helms is Green. Kirby is Orange. Kane is Red. Undertaker is Purple. Big Show is Blue.

Other members of the BSK are also in purple.

Other women are in Pink.

DX Members are also in Green.

"You looked like you were about to leave a few moments ago..." He says softly.

"I didn't want you to see me cry, or throw up." Kirby admits sheepishly.

He laughs weakly, wiping away a stray tear. "Yeah... it wasn't a great year... and it was one of the best years I had on the streets..."

"You don't have to tell me, unless you want to, just maybe don't start debating that when I'm stressed because I'm pregnant."

"I figured it would be easiest to take if I got to it as soon as possible. Wanted to tell you about them before you got too far along..."

"You choose a good time to tell me, and before you even start worrying, come here." Kirby whispers, pulling Helms into a gentle kiss, before hoisting him over her shoulder.

He chuckles a little, some of the stress leaving his body as she carries him.

"You, me, and our biological child, are going to get breakfast at that café we went to earlier this month, and then. The Hurricane, the Blacklight Bandit and their super baby are going to the gym." Kirby murmurs as she gently pats his ass.

"I like the way you think, Bandit."

Kirby smirks as she grabs her satchel, making sure she has her purse before walking out of the room with Helms over her shoulder.

"Gonna carry me the whole way to the restaurant?"

"Yes, I am." Kirby whispers as she continues carrying him to the café, putting him down when they reach the entrance.

"Guess that's one way to get a workout." He says, his cheeks bright red after being carried two blocks.

"I kinda got carried away, wanted to impress you." Kirby admits sheepishly.

"You don't have to impress me. I'm impressed by you every day, sweetheart."

Kirby blushes as they enter the café, settling into a small booth and it takes all of Kirby's self control to turn down coffee.

"Juice and milk are the name of the game for the next few months. Kurt recommends milk, so why not give it a try?" Helms shrugs. "And I'll be with you through it the whole time. No coffee or alcohol for me either."

"Ooh, chocolate milk, and fruit." Kirby murmurs.

"God, I didn't even think about chocolate milk! But you need more than just fruit. We've got a match tonight and I know you probably won't be big on lunch or dinner."

"Shane, you order for me, I trust you to make good decisions, so you decide what I eat today." Kirby whispers, taking his hands in hers.

"Could be a misplaced trust, but I promise I won't betray it." He assures. "I mean, remember the time I thought it'd be a good idea to tell Jeff he should stretch his lobes?"

"You're never convincing me to do anything like that, Hon, you're just making sure that your pregnant wife eats right for the baby." Kirby half-jokes.

"That, I can do. Once Lizzy got to be around seven months along, leaving the apartment just wasn't on her to-do list, so shopping was my job."

"Thank you, baby. Now, what should I have for breakfast, Shaney baby."

"Eggs and toast, with a side of fruit, and a yogurt if you think you're that hungry."

"That sounds good ... almost as good as last night." Kirby whispers, mostly to herself.

"Glad I've still got the touch."

"A superhero's magic touch." Kirby jokes.

"Of course. How do you think I knocked you up so fast?" He laughs.

"You cheeky little beast." Kirby chuckles.

"I can be."

"So, mon ange, what is my baby daddy having for breakfast?"

"Hard boiled egg. Don't need much."

"Something really is wrong, isn't it?" Kirby asks, concern heavy in her voice.

"What do you mean?"

"You usually order pancakes or something sugary, so you not wanting sugar makes me worry that something's wrong." Kirby admits softly.

"Nothing's wrong... Just part of me trying to be better. For you, for our kid... keeping caloric intake low... it's why I only had one pancake at the Samoan brunch as the last time I ate..." He murmurs.

"Shane, if something is wrong I want to know, now, not in five hours." Kirby murmurs as she looks at Helms, her expression stern but caring.

"Ten years ago, I spent nine months starving myself just so my girls could live. Ever since I found out you were pregnant, I've felt sick at the idea of eating..." He admits softly. "Not just not hungry, but panicky, sick-to-my-stomach, might-hurl kind of sick."

"Shane, I'm not Liz, I'm me, Kirby Andrea Helms, formerly Kirby Andrea Roussimoff. I'm not going anywhere and if I had known you back then, I probably would have given you one million just to keep you off the streets." Kirby whispers, mostly to herself.

"I know you are. But being hungry was the only thing that felt right then. Feels right now. I know it's not, but it feels right. If I stopped feeling hungry, I'd start feeling selfish. I'd go until I passed out after sex. It's probably why I'm so scrawny now..."

"Shane, for my sake, for the sake of our child, eat something, a proper meal, I don't care how expensive it is because I'm paying for this meal, so you better treat yourself."

"I'll eat what I can." Is all he can promise. "Little things at a time and if I think I can stomach something else, I'll order something else. Okay?"

"Okay." Kirby murmurs.

It doesn't take long for them to order and Kirby to pull out her sketchbook and start drawing while they wait.

"If I described someone to you, do you think you could draw them?" He eventually asks quietly.

"Maybe, depends on how good your description is."

"I'd like to try."

"Go for it, describe away."

"Five months old. Bright green eyes and hair a shade or two darker than Mark's. A little bit on the skinny side for a baby, but smiling. No teeth yet. A tiny button nose and two crinkles on the side of either eye."

Kirby starts sketching, producing a spot on portrait of the person Helms has described before sliding the sketchbook to him, "like that?"

He's tearing up instantly when he sees the drawing. "That's her..." He whispers, his voice choked with sobs.

"Let me guess, I've just drawn Harleen?"

"Yeah. That's what she looked like the last day I saw her. Gave her a bath that morning and took her to the park. Dressed in the nicest dress we'd found her at the Walmart... all pink with little rosettes around the collar. I wanted our last memories together to be happy ones. She was still supposed to be on formula only, but I let her have her first taste of ice cream. A little scoop of soft-serve that we shared together. Then we went to visit her mom's grave... all I could do for her was a small wooden cross, but at least it was something... Harleen left a handful of dandelions there... then I brought her to the sanctuary at the fire station and left her there with a note I'd spent the night writing. Saying everything I could about her, her name and age, birthday, what happened to her parents and assurance that she was loved."

"I'm sure she's doing fine, you make it sound like she was your actual daughter, I would like to think that in a perfect world she's happily growing up with her mom, but I know that can't happen ... I'll be back in a minute." Kirby whispers, getting up and heading to the bathroom, not wanting Helms to see her emotions get the better of her.

Helms knows she's gotten deeply emotional, but he has too. He can't take his eyes off the picture, holding it like it's something precious.

Kirby's phone goes off in her pocket, she gathers herself before answering, "Hi, Steph, what's up?"

"Just checking on you. Show said he saw you carrying Helms out of the hotel like he was a dead body."

"I was taking him out for breakfast, can't help that my husband's shorter than me, or the fact he likes me carrying him over my shoulder."

"Just making sure he's not dead. Hard to find a replacement with such short notice." Stephanie pauses a little. "You sure you're okay? Sound a little... off."

"Yeah, just ... emotional and stressed ... things are taking their toll on my mind, you know how it is Stephanie, I'm recently married and struggling to adjust to big changes."

"That's not all it is... Hon, you sound like you've been crying."

"I have been, it's just ... I'm struggling to keep those dark thoughts from my mind, I know I'm meant to wrestle tonight ... but I, God, Steph, i don't think I'm up to it."

"That does it, where are you? You and I need to chat this out. I've never known you to not wrestle. If Something's on your mind this much, we need to work through it."

"You know that little café, two blocks away from the hotel, I'm there with Helms." Kirby murmurs before Steph hangs up.

Stephanie's in the café and hunting between tables before Kirby's even out of the bathroom. Helms closes the sketchbook and tries to dry his eyes as he sees Stephanie stalking towards him. "H-hey, Steph." He says, trying to sound as normal as possible.

Kirby appears from the bathroom, right as Stephanie reaches the table, Kirby practically sprints over, "Steph, don't kill him." She squeaks out.

"Is there a reason I should? You're trying to back out of tonight and he's here with you and you're both wrecks. Now, unless someone died or another personal tragedy just happened, I need to know what's going on so we can work through this."

"Stephanie, breathe, okay, I'm just... oh fuck everything." Kirby murmurs, leaving her stuff and heading out of the café, on the verge of tears as she sits on the sidewalk.

"If she backs out on me, you're in big fucking trouble, kid." She hisses at Helms before following her out.

Kirby's breathing is heavy and ragged, she's emotionally exhausted and it's obvious. Stephanie sits next to her and rubs her back gently. She even does Kirby the favor of staying quiet for a bit. Kirby struggles to control her breathing, unable to stop the tears from falling

"Whatever's going on, it's gonna be okay. You know that, right?"

"What if it's not?" Kirby asks, fear in her voice.

"What’s so wrong that it can't be fixed?"

"Steph, I barely know the man I'm married to." Kirby admits softly.

"That sounds like it can be solved by talking with him."

"There's more than that, I'm not allowed to tell you about, and something I don't even have the confidence to tell him."

"Okay, you don't have to tell me about it. It doesn't concern me until it does. But what could you possibly not have the confidence to tell him? You're the Blacklight Bandit, the toughest woman alive."

"I don't want him to know ... Stephanie, I don't want him knowing that I'm dealing with suicidal thoughts again." Kirby admits, barely above a whisper.

"Would you want to know if he was?" She asks gently.

"Yeah, but I don't want him worrying about me, he has enough to worry about already."

"You're his wife. I was there when you vowed to each other. For better or for worse, you take the worries of the other and help them through. He's your husband, what do you think he'd rather: knowing you want to die and helping you through it, or him finding you dead?"

"You're right," Kirby sighs as she gets up and heads back inside, "Shane, we need to talk."

His heart sinks down to his feet as he bites his lip a little and nods. "What about?" He barely whispers.

"I ... I, God, Shane, I don't want to lose you by telling you this." Kirby weakly murmurs as she takes his face in her hands.

[awed-frog]

If Ketch's new orders are to eliminate the Americans hunters, then she's going to have to kill Mary, and they have a thing even if they say they don't have a thing, Ketch it's, actually, the one who looked like he knew about the thing but was too insecure or oblivious about it to tell her anything. It'd be... i DONT know, if that's the case I hope Mary kills him before

I’m not really sure I understand what you mean there, but yes, I do agree that Ketch and Mary are having very different reactions to their (unforeseen) night of fun. I think that episode revealed a lot about who Ketch is and what he wants, but, since this is Buckleming, I’m not sure it was intentional, and how seriously should we take it. For instance, we now know with some certainty that Ketch is colour-blind, in a sense - that when we’ve seen him being rude to women, it wasn’t about them being women, per se - Ketch seems to operate in a world where the only people worthy of respect are those who do his job, and do it well. And, even more unusual, he doesn’t seem to mind if someone - even an outsider like Mary - is better than him. When she corrects him in front of Mick, who, after all, is supposed to be his boss, telling him they’ve killed eight shape-shifters, and not seven, Ketch is not annoyed in the least. Instead, he’s admirative. Considering he’s an alpha male who kills and tortures people for a living, this tells us a great deal about how his mind works.

(Mary’s attitude in that scene tells us a lot about her as well - here she is, the failed daughter, the failed wife and the failed mother, doing the only thing she knows how to do and doing it whit a proud smile on her face. I’d say there is a parallel with Dean in there somewhere, Daddy’s blunt instrument and all that, but I’m not sure it’d be appropriate - after all, we know Dean wants out, in some way; that he doesn’t want to be that person, never has. Mary, on the other hand - despite her insistence in pointing out she can ‘have it all’ is not, in fact, having it all. Whatever she says, she’s deliberately chosen hunting and killing over her sons, and she’s having a whale of a time. This is not a moral judgement: I’m simply trying to understand the character.)

Like - when Ketch was talking to Dean, he never showed his hand at all, in a way. But when Mary told him she once left hunting behind because she wanted a normal life, David does an excellent job to convey what would be pity on someone else’s face and is, instead, a kind of half empathy on Ketch’s. I have this feeling that while he was trying to make Dean his (if not sexually, than professionally, even if the subtext supported both readings), here Ketch is acknowledging he himself belongs to Mary. In that whole scene, he behaves like a subordinate - flattering without being unctuous, polite without being distant. And when he says out right that he understands and respects her unusual and ‘unwomanly’ choices (“Mrs Winchester, I believe you’re drawn to danger.”) - I believe that’s when something inside Mary woke up and decided that, after all, why not? They’re adults, and they’ve got a room, and look at this gorgeous man. In a way, he is to Mary what Crowley was to Dean - a bad influence, sure, but also genuinely attached to her within the limits of his capability to feel anything, and also non judgemental in any way and completely hers.

(In fact, I can see Drowley beginning in very much the same way during that ‘summer of love’ Dean and Crowley shared: I have no problem whatsoever in seeing this exact scene play out - Crowley offering Dean a drink in this same amused, friendly, slightly subservient way, and Dean suddenly ignoring the glass and catching Crowley’s tie in his hand instead; and pulling.)

The thing with men, though, is that - and it could be cultural, or biological - I really don’t know - very often they assume sex will change things. Since sex enpowers them but sullies you, you sometimes meet this power shifting attitude - as the old movies told us in greatest detail, women have control over men as long as they don’t sleep with them; but once the deed is done, the thing is reversed, because, as I said, sex makes men stronger and women weaker.

(Exposed to the dangers of gossip and pregnancy, that is; cheaper and dirty now their virginity is gone.)

As idiotic as this concept is, it somehow persists and lasts, and I think you could see it unfolding in this last episode as well: how Ketch’s careful politeness changes to a sort of cockiness - look at him, sitting up against the headboard, completely naked, his legs open, his penis (still this ever-important sign of masculinity and power and all things sacred) in full display. Contrast him with Mary, already dressing, as if hiding her own nudity, and slowly putting her wedding ring back on like some sinful adulteress. But next, and, okay, for once they wrote an interesting thing, the relationship between them is reversed. Ketch tries to be dominant and mark some kind of point, and Mary shoots him down every time. Having sex was her decision, not his; she’s now deciding it doesn’t mean anything, and he doesn’t have any say in that; and when Ketch confesses, with some regret, that he’s okay with it because he’s not ‘built’ for that and he’s not, in fact, capable to care for other people, just like her, Mary’s almost needlessly petty in pointing out that, again, he’s wrong, because she can, and she did - with someone else, that is, and certainly not him. At that point - and, again, I like how David played this, because he tried to cover himself at first, closing his arms across his chest, but then he sort of - manned up, so to say, and got all alpha again, choosing to remain there stark naked despite Mary’s word and even playing a card he knew would upset her: “I notice you took my advice. You had a choice to make - your work or family ties…”. Ketch doesn’t finish his sentence, but he doesn’t have to. Mary may be a strong woman, and also an unusual one, but she knows her relationship with her sons is far from perfect, and also that she’s a big part of the reason why. Hearing Ketch pointing it out - yeah, that must have smarted a bit - and, again, instead of being a ‘good’ woman and take the criticism, Mary lashes out and defends herself. And this is when Ketch finally takes a step back, because this is the kind of people he’s been trained (or trained himself) to respect: a bigger alpha.

So, really, I don’t know how to read this whole thing. I think it’s a big character shift for Ketch and almost invalidates the idea he’s a psychopath, but, then again, psychopaths are hard to write, so there’s that as well. I still don’t know what to make of Mary, and if I like her as a person (I do like her as a character, though - good choices all around). And, finally, I can’t help but feel that, if you took their relationship and that entire dialogue and gender-bended it, well, here you go - Buckleming did manage to insert their usual bit of dubcon, and yay, because look at it - Mary’s clearly superior to Ketch in most ways (professionally and, very clearly, emotionally), so if this was Mark Winchester seducing wide-eyed, damaged and vulnerable assassin Ms Ketch, who calls him Mr Winchester and hopes sex will lead to something more even if, sadly, she’s not sure she can ever love anyone - yep. They never disappoint, do they?