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manicpixiefelix · 5 months

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they stare at me (and i stare at you) {Felix Catton/Reader}

one. i saw you kept your gaze controlled

Summary: It's Orientation Week at Oxford and Felix is excited to experience everything university life has to offer him. Mostly socially. Almost all of his peers, thankfully, seem to be on the same wavelength as him, except you. Fine, if you wanted to take yourself too seriously, you could do it far away from him, he thinks. At least, that's what he thinks at first.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. Reader is the Acting CEO of their family's International Media and Telecommunications Empire. There will be smut in future chapters (see masterpost for more details/warnings). You & Felix are both 19.

This is technically an AU of my long running fic head, heart, hand. but can be read 100% on its own. No prior information from that fic is necessary going into this at all.

{ masterpost }

A/N: 1787 words. Hi! Excited to finally be publishing the first part of this!! Updates will be slow, but I've already got about 20k written from all around the timeline so I just need to piece everything together. This takes place in Felix's first year of Uni so this fic won't feature Oliver. If you like it, or have thoughts about it, I'd love to hear from you!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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There's a novel charm, Felix considers, about moving into the Oxford dormitories, even if the hallowed halls echo his own home more than most other students.

During orientation, he makes friends easily, all warm smiles and sincere laughter; people have always flocked to Felix. Part of it is his natural charm, but he's never been above exploiting his looks while putting his best foot forward in situations like these. His outfits are always on trend and on brand, and he spends longer in the mirror than he'd ever admit to another living soul.

It was a breeze to make friends of his peers, the people in his course - business, at his parents suggestion - the people in his dorm, anyone he really came across who felt like giving him the time of day. Everything always seemed to reinforce what he already knew; Felix Catton was a born people-person, there was nothing that could shake his confidence in that fact. Well there wasn't anything, until he met you.

In all honesty, Felix's first impression of you was that you were strangely familiar, but ultimately rather dull.

During that orientation week, he'd gotten himself to all of the introductory workshops to his course that the University had set up for students to meet their classmates and get an overview of their degrees. At every single one, you were there, hanging back, rather quiet, seeming preferring to observe the rest of your peers unless your input was specifically called for. Again, your name rang a bell to him, but you were a non-event otherwise as he focused on getting to know the people who seemed far more eager to engage. At best, you were simply a standoffish prick at the back of the room who always felt the need to wear fucking business casual to decidedly casual casual workshops.

Once, he overhears a guy he thinks is named Benji asking if he'd seen you at the club that night. Though your smile is barely a smile, more a suggestion of amusement rather than anything else, your tone is sharp and bright.

"Of course I'll be there."

"Looking forward to it," Benji grins, before heading off in the opposite direction. Felix realises he's been caught eavesdropping when your gaze meets his. He's not quite sure how to react, not to the conversation he'd overheard, nor to the curious look you're now giving him. Instead of calling him out, or even saying anything at all, you nod to him once, and take off in the direction of the dining hall.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Felix finds himself at the club that had been catering to the first years every night this week so far. He drinks, he has a good time, and he ends up going home with a pretty girl studying Chemistry, but he didn't recognise anyone there to be you.

More and more he starts seeing you around campus, or maybe it just feels like that now that you've caught his attention. Did you always have people around you or did he not notice you amongst some of the people he'd started to befriend. Our maybe he hasn't reconsidered you because he'd never seen you properly smile like that before. Everywhere Felix saw you, you were amongst friends, sometimes even one or two of his. It was never opportune moments, however, he always seemed to be on his way to or from something. He felt like he never got the opportunity to properly meet you.

Until it's eleven o'clock on a Friday night, and he hears your voice coming from around the side of one of the dorms as he was on his way to celebrate the last day of orientation week with the rest of the first years.

"- yeah, no, I know it was Decker," you sounded annoyed, and when Felix investigates, he sees you leaning against the wall by the entrance to a dorm building, phone to your ear, smoking a cigarette. Except if he hadn't just heard your voice, he'd barely be able to tell it was you; why the hell would you choose to live your life in business casual when you could look this damn good? "Because Decker's been a pain in my ass ever since -" whoever was on the other end of your call cut you off and you sighed deeply, pinching your brow out of frustration, "yeah, I just need this pulled before it can get to print for Monday," you sighed. Stubbing your cigarette out on the wall, you ducked down to pick up a dark bottle that had been hidden in the bushes by your feet.

Felix doesn't know exactly why he keeps watching, but he's fascinated. He can't look away.

"I emailed you a bunch of ads for charities we could run in its place, pick one, stick it in, it's on me, it's my good deed for the day- no, tonight!" You insisted, scowling, before you took a sip of your drink, rebuffing whoever is protesting on the other end of the line, "I'd rather the page be fucking blank- because we're not printing a homophobic hit piece on Portia De Rossi a week after she comes out!" You argued, before you sighed deeply, adding, "or ever, fucking obviously." Then, frustrated, "of course Decker fucking okayed it, you saw the shit he wrote about Rosie O'Donnell back before I -" but again, you were cut off, "I told him to cut that shit out the moment-" you took another drink, furious, "no, first thing Monday I'm having words with him." There's a terse goodbye, and your phone clicks shut, and Felix suddenly feels like he's snapping out of a trance.

"Can I help you with something?" You snapped suddenly, seemingly to no-one. Felix feels his heart rate pick up nervously. It only spikes hire when your head turns to look at him. Your gaze is ice fucking cold. You take another drink.

"Is everything okay?" Felix hears himself asking. Your lips twisted into a humourless smile, and you reached into your pocket to pull out a pocketbook of cigarettes.

"Peachy," you say bitterly, "do you have a light? I usually wouldn't ask but these pants are stupidly tight and it's going to be a hassle to get my own."

"Downside to looking that good I guess," Felix steps forward, rummaging around in his jacket pocket to find his lighter. What he's said doesn't hit him until you're leaning in to light your cigarette from his offered fire, but it seems you hadn't quite heard him, to preoccupied with your thoughts, "are you on your way out tonight?" Felix tries again, and you take a long draft, thanking him quietly as your expression scrunched up with a thoughtful kind of irritation.

"Is getting absolutely pissed tonight the smartest move? Absolutely not," you huffed, jaw set in a firm line, "am I going to do it anyways? You fucking bet." Then, you turn to him, eyebrows raised, "what about you, Catton?"

Felix kind of feels like you'd just smacked him. What?

"How did you know -?"

"Heard your name a dozen times over the week, we're in the same course," you offered easily. This Felix knew, however the alarm bells in Felix's mind just started ringing louder. There was something about you now, something almost too casual about how you choose to look away, take another sip of your drink.

"Pretty sure they only asked for our first names," he frowns. There's something rather dreadful the way you look at him out of the corner of your eye, smile curling at the edges of your lips like you're pleased.

"Perceptive one, aren't you?" The tone of your voice makes him feel like he's won the world's worst prize. Pushing off of the wall, you make a start towards him, and the path off of campus. You shove your hands in the pockets of your leather jacket as you pass, "walk with me, Felix Catton," you called out to him as he watches you pass.

He thinks you might be a trickster spirit, attempting to steal his soul. Or maybe you're just going to kill him.

For some stupid reason, he still chooses to walk with you.

He really tries not to dwell on how unsettling it was that you seemed to know more about him than you let on. He's pretty sure he recognises you from somewhere, perhaps you'd recognised him too, and you'd simply remembered.

"You're Y/N," your last name, however, does not come to mind. You confirmed easily, offering him a cigarette. He doesn't need to prompt for your last name, thankfully; you offer it. Somehow, it still doesn't feel like an equal exchange. There's several minutes of silence, broken only by the gentle sound of gravel crunching beneath both your feet, and the occasional sip you take of your drink. Finally, Felix asks who Decker is.

"Twenty stone worth of bigotry shoved into the most weasly looking cunt you've ever seen in your life," you muttered darkly, though the wording shocks a laugh from Felix, and your anger softens at the sound, wearing a pleased little grin when you look over to him, "he knows I check everything, especially his shit since I don't trust him, don't know how he thought he could pull a fast one on me like that."

"What kind of work do you do?"

"It's just the family business," you shrugged off the question with ease, "I've been helping dad out with it for years, so he's asked me to take care of a few things while he's on holiday."

"Local paper?"

"What?"

"You were talking about something going to print on Monday, does your family run a local paper back home?" When Felix's question is met with silence, he looks to you. He wasn't expecting to see you looking suddenly uncomfortable.

"Something like that," was all you offered, evasively. There's another beat of silence before you seem to shrug off your discomfort, giving him a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes, "our parents are friends," direct and to the point, "I used to see you at," you paused for a moment, deliberating, adding carefully, "parties." Eyes bright, there's still something careful beneath that in the way you're watching him. Parties, you say when he knows you meant events. The formal kind he fucking hated. Huh.

"That's where you got my name from," his relief, however, is short-lived when he sees the strange look you give him. But in the next minute it's gone, and you're looking out to the road ahead.

"Exactly."

For reasons Felix can't put into words, there's not a single part of him that believes you.

#felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #manic writer #ceo au #felix imagine #felix x reader #felix x you

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bemusedlybespectacled · 8 months

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Question: I enjoyed s1 OF OFMD, but for various reasons I never actually got around to watching s2 (pick up most of the plot from tumblr tho). What exactly went wrong in s2 that got so many people upset?

Oh, boy. Very long rant incoming.

So, for context, S2 had a significantly smaller budget, which necessitated moving the filming location to union-unfriendly New Zealand, reducing the number of actors/number of appearances of established actors, and cutting down the number of episodes from 10 to 8. In a show where each episode is only about half an hour long, that last one alone was enough to seriously hamper any character development or plot. I am very comfortable putting the vast majority of the blame on HBO because of these financial decisions.

The short version is that Jenkins et. al. needed to address and build on the problems left hanging in S1 while also getting the characters to the end of their character trajectories in case there was no S3 while also leaving room for additional episodes in case there was a S3, in a grand total of four hours, and failed.

The long version is that there were a bunch of what I'd consider small problems in isolation that came together and exploded in the S2 finale.

The reduced cast necessitated breaking up the crew (ex: having Swede marry Jackie and stay on land with her, so they don't need to pay Nat Faxon for all eight episodes) and not spending as much time on their relationships as S1 did.

The reduced time meant that the entire season was rushed (in contrast to S1, which takes place over at least several weeks if not months, most of S2 takes place in roughly five days), leading both to a lot of telling rather than showing (because they don't have time to show you), including vital character and relationship development.

This includes:

Having the Kraken half of the crew beat Ed to death after months of being abused by him – abuse that is clearly shown to have given them PTSD and a well-justified fear and hatred of him – only for them to be okay with him two in-universe days later;

On that note, having Stede dismiss the crew's concerns about Ed because he loves him and also we only have three more episodes left to fit in everything so we need to get over it really fast, even though Stede is supposed to be well-meaning and caring (even if he's not good at it all the time);

Resolving the issue of Stede abandoning Ed in one day, then having them "go slowly" in their relationship for two days and then have some spur-of-the-moment sex, and then the next afternoon have them break up over their diverging career aspirations, and then the day after that resolve that problem and retire on land while the rest of the crew sails off into the sunset;

Stede becoming a fantastic pirate captain over the course of one day, becoming wildly popular in the piracy world two days later, and then deciding the day after that to never be a captain again because he is retiring with Ed;

Having Ed and Stede decide to retire together as what is implied to be the end point of their relationship arc, when none of Stede's issues from S1, like his poor self-esteem, have been so much as mentioned by anyone, implying that he's either magically gotten over them or they don't matter all that much, actually, even though they were the catalyst for basically everything he did in S1;

Ed having two separate character crises – "I am an unlovable person" and "I want to do something with my life other than piracy" – not spending a lot of time on either one, having moments that clearly indicate he is still working on both problems and they have not been resolved, and then apparently having them both be resolved in the final episode despite nothing occurring to actually make that happen, and in regards to the latter, despite the story actively undermining it by repeatedly showing he can't do anything other than piracy;

Related to the above, Ed ending the series as allegedly being loved by the crew as a family (thus solving Crisis #1) despite this never actually being shown, demonstrated, or even fucking alluded to onscreen. If anything, it shows the exact opposite.

This last point is especially galling to me because of what is probably the most divisive issue in the fandom right now: killing off Izzy Hands after giving him seven episodes of character development.

The show begins with the Kraken crew clearly trying to use the skills they learned as part of Stede's crew to cope with their incredibly shitty situation and care for each other, which includes Izzy. Izzy, on his end, tries to protect the crew and speak up for them, which results in him being repeatedly hurt (both implicitly, as Ed at one point says "that's another toe" in response to Izzy advocating for the crew and we later see he's missing more than one toe already, and explicitly, as Ed shoots him in the fucking leg in front of the crew when he stands up for them).

This camaraderie is shown again and again and again. Frenchie, Jim, and Archie take care of Izzy while his leg is infected, at risk to their own lives. Izzy's misery over losing his leg is what unites the PTSD-ridden Kraken crew and the well-meaning-but-ignorant-of-PTSD marooned crew, who are initially at odds, to make him a new prosthetic leg. Izzy gives Lucius advice about forgiving Ed. Izzy is introduced to drag and opens up enough to sing at a crew party, and the whole crew is having fun together while Ed and Stede are in their cabin having sex for the first time. Izzy gives Stede pirate captain lessons and bonds with him when Ed leaves him. Izzy provokes the season's villain into focusing on him and then gives a big speech about how piracy is about belonging to something, giving the rest of the crew time to try to escape.

Recall that Season 1 had some pretty well-established universe rules, one of which was that it runs on Muppet physics/magical realism. People can jump off yardarms, hit the side on the way down, and be perfectly fine. People can get stabbed in the liver and it's totally okay because it's probably not that important, and even can stay pinned to a mast all night that way with only mild discomfort. Buttons can talk to birds and see long distances without a spyglass and put hexes on people. Good people can be hurt (Stede is stabbed repeatedly), bad people can die (the Badmintons, Geraldo), but no one we care about is ever killed.

This is repeated in Season 2: Ed is beaten into a coma with a cannonball and wakes up like Sleeping Beauty after a spirit journey, with no injuries to his face or body. Buttons turns into a seagull after spending an episode doing a magic ritual and is never seen again (because they couldn't keep paying Ewen Bremner due to the budget cuts). Jackie microdoses her husbands with poison to build up their immunity, so that she can later pull a Dread Pirate Westley and poison the British with shared drinks.

So: in the finale, the villain of the season is taken hostage by the pirates (for reasons? unclear how that fits in the plan), happens to have a gun on him (no one checked??), shoots Izzy on the right side and then leaves with no repercussions. The entire crew stands around silently doing nothing while Ed cries over Izzy and tells him that he's his only family.

And Izzy fucking Hands, the guy who just spent eight episodes bonding with and protecting everyone, uses his last words to reassure Ed that him becoming Blackbeard/the Kraken was Izzy's fault and that the crew is Ed's family and they all love him. No one else says anything to Izzy or tries to comfort him or help him in any way.

I repeat: in a show predicated on the idea that bullies and bigots die stupid deaths while queer people and POC are basically magic, a show that was praised for being kind to queer people by not making them worry about their faves suffering or dying, a show founded on the strength of the relationships between the characters, the guy who went through a season-long arc of learning to embrace his pirate found family and his own queerness is shot for stupid reasons on the side we're told isn't important and dies while everyone just stands there. His last words are about the whole crew loving Ed when the only person that the whole crew has loved all season is him.

Anyway, never mind all that, let's cut to Lucius and Pete getting married and Stede and Ed retiring!

Complicating all this is that people who liked Izzy (or even said anything insufficiently mean about Izzy) were harassed for months in between seasons with insults, slurs, and actual fucking death threats. Izzy's growth was kind of a vindication for liking him: it meant that, despite all the harassment, we were right to like him and care about him as a character. Even people who didn't like him initially started to like him during Season 2.

And then he dies, and now there's a bunch of people saying that Izzy fans are big whiny babies who can't handle fictional death, and actually his death was so meaningful and beautiful and the only logical end to his arc, and it can't be bad writing because people die in real life all the time, and also he admitted he fed Ed's darkness so actually he was a terrible person all along anyway and they were right to hate him (and his fans)!

So, yeah, there are a lot of reasons why it's so hated, and I'm probably only addressing the problems of the pro-Izzy people (from what I can tell, BlackBonnet shippers who don't like Izzy think Ed and Stede's relationship is fine and dandy, but I'm sure that there are other criticisms they have that I have not addressed). I'm not even addressing the issues with Jim and Oluwande's relationship this season (and whooo boy are there issues).

It wasn't a universally bad season. There were episodes I really loved and still do. But the finale was a train wreck, and because it was a train wreck, a lot of people are looking back at what happened before the wreck and realizing that, oh, the train lost its brakes and steering because of the budget cuts and the engineers kept throwing fuel in the engine to make it go faster, and huh, now that I think of it, that part earlier in the trip was really wobbly but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because I was sure the engineers had everything covered.

#ofmd critical #our flag means death #writing #izzy hands #ofmd meta #askbox #personal

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manicrouge · 7 months

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SIN CITY

[𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍]: 09/02/24

[𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝]: Rorke finds the Ghost's and you fear you're never going to see Keegan again.

[𝙲𝚠]: Major character death, violence, gore, graphic injury, hurt/ comfort, reader goes THROUGH IT, idk if there's anything else.

[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 7k (exactly btw)

[𝙰/𝙽]: This has literally been in my drafts since Decemeber and I wrote way too much of it to not do anything with it so = I hope this is enough to suffice. Also, this is entirely based off of the mission 'Sin City' in call of duty ghosts, so if you haven't seen or played the game and don't want spoilers then please skip this !! (I would be surprised if you've not seen this yet you're in the Keegan tag.)

Also, if people do enjoy this I am down to write a part two so please let me know :3

ENJOY !!

There may be typos, apologies!!

Please don't post my work anywhere else without my permission !!

‘If I ever went missing, would you go and look for me?'

It was silent for a moment, and after five seconds passed, you turned to look at the man lying beside you. As you observed his features, you realised that his eyes were closed and while you doubted someone’s ability to dose off so quickly, you sure as shit didn’t doubt Keegan’s. His hand on your waist gave him away as it tightened on you, pulling you closer to him.

Opening his eyes, he peered at you with a furrowed brow. ‘The fuck kinda question is that, princess?’ He asked, ‘of course I would. Besides, need you with me,’ he said, ‘who else would I have to watch my back? Didn’t spend all that time training you for you to disappear on me, did I?’

Smug bastard.

'You're full of yourself,' you bit back.

'Good reason to be,' he said, brushing a hand through his black hair, moving his fringe away from his eyebrows, 'I'll consider being humble when I lose you, princess. But that hasn't happened and it won't be happening on my watch, not at all,' he reassured, pulling you closer to him.

You slapped his chest, letting out a heavy sigh, resting your head against his chest. In the dead of the night and the silence in your room, you listen to the thud of his beating heart while held up on a tiny bed. You were practically on top of him, legs intertwined.

There wasn't anywhere to go, however, and he didn't seem to care about you closeness at that moment. Rather, he settled with the heat of your body much better than he would have settled in a bed with more space.

'You think this'll ever be over?' you mumbled, closing your eyes, 'I'd like to sleep in a bigger bed with you; this ones a little cramped. Maybe even watch something on a TV too.’

'You're free to take the floor if you want to, I'm not stopping you,' he grunted, pinching your waist.

'I'm gonna blow your brains out,' you sleepily mumbled, placing your hand over his. His chest twitches as he lets out a short laugh, folding his arm behind your head so he can brush his fingers through your hair. 'I mean it,' you grumbled.'

'Of course you do, princess,' he said, 'of course you do.'

—

Throughout your training as a Ghost, you gained an understanding that things will never ever be as easy as you wish they were. But, it came with the job, you suppose, whether it was spoken or not.

Feelings as such only ever drift in when you don’t have a distraction, and the absence of Keegan after Elias sent him to Colorado Springs proved to be bruising.

Admittedly, you had been apprehensive with Elias’ request, although, in private, you digressed as you noted that Elias is your Captain, and you were to never question your captains judgement. Even when it came to someone that you loved. So, you bit your tongue, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, you allowed yourself to relax.

But, you have some things you needed to do before you got any sleep, or before you thought about anything else other than Rorke and the Federation.

‘JSOC’s going to want to move fast on this, so load up before you get any shut eye,’ he advises.

You follow behind him, standing beside Logan as he walked with Hesh and Merrick by his side. Fortunately, the brunt of the experience has been dealt with, you had survived Keegan’s absence overnight, and in a matter of hours, he would be back by your side. Inwardly, you’re embarrassed at your clinginess to him, but deep down you know he enjoys it.

‘We’ve got six hours until Keegan gets back,’ Elias says.

Upon the mention of his name, Riley brushes his head against your leg, and you look down at the German Shepherd, rolling your eyes. Leaning down slightly, you scratch his head. ‘Shut up,’ you grumble to the pup when he looks up at you, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. When you pull your hand away, he licks it, staring back at you. With a huff, you fold to his attempt of cuteness, moving your hand to the his head again.

‘Hold up,’ Merrick says abruptly.

An arm grabs your forearm suddenly, and you let out a startled breath, though when you look in front of you, you realise you’d almost walked right into Hesh. Exhaling, you turn your head to Logan who gives you a short nod.

‘Somethin’ feel off to you?’ Merrick asks, turning to Elias.

The man immediately turns to his right, observing a laptop left perched on a desk. He says little for a moment, and when you turn your head away from your Captain, you acknowledge Merrick’s watchful eye as he peers down the scope of his gun, observing the sights through the broad windows located to the left of you.

‘Security’s working,’ says the man to the right of you.

Merrick slowly backs away, keeping his eyes trained o the window. You feel your throat tighten as you keep your eyes on the man, his paranoia working well to leave a heavy feeling in your chest. Logan lets go of your arm as he glances at his brother, a look that you don’t miss, and Merrick looks at you. You open your mouth to speak, holding the gun in your hands close to your chest, snapping your head to Riley as the dog begins to bark, glaring directly through he window that Merrick had just kept his eyes trained on.

While he may be a dog, he is surely not an idiot- in fact, you’re quite sure that Riley is much smarter than many of the people you had encountered when you had been a simple rookie, before Elias had taken you under his wing. He could certainly kill more people, that’s for sure.

It all seems to happen in slow motion, and the night you had spent prior seems to dissipate in one moment. There’s this hissing, you hear it from below, and before you have time to contemplate what exactly it is, a black can is thrown over the balcony, a train of green smoke pouring from out of the top of it.

‘Fuck,’ you curse, ‘get out!’ you yell, watching as another two cans containing the same foul smelling gas are tossed over the balcony, hitting the ground with a clink.

As you begin to sprint, you find the air around you is similar to the air you breathed whenever you were spending time with Keegan on his smoke break. All oxygen left your lungs as you broke into a sprint, your eyes water, and before you know it, you falling down to the ground, gasping for air as you feel your eyes grow heavy.

In the midst of the panic and over the thumping of your heart in your chest, you hear Elias call out, ‘Riley, hide!’ before breaking out into a fit of coughs.

You wretch, clawing at the ground in some form of futile attempt to escape, but nothing works as you watch Logan collapse right before you, spewing out violent coughs. Never have you felt so defenceless, so weak as you succumb to the gas, the world around you growing blurry before fading into complete darkness.

—

‘What are you doing up, kid?’ Keegan asks, seeing you appear beside him.

Letting out a small yawn, your boots crunch against a few stray rocks as you approach him, taking a seat against the rock he was leaning on, looking out at the remnants of No Mans Land. Logan and Hesh had regarded it as their home, as did their father, though, you couldn’t really picture the place without the addition of a crater which grew every day, claiming the lives of old rickety buildings and unsuspecting wildlife.

It was a sorry sight to see for sure, and inwardly, you were happy you never had the misfortune of seeing your own home falling to pieces.

‘You need sleep,’ he said, taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips.

Your eyebrows raise as you look at him, crossing your arms over yourself. ‘I thought you said you didn’t smoke,’ you say, 'you're a liar.'

You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at your comment, and when he pulls it from his lips, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, he chuckles. ‘Thought I told you not to hang onto every little thing I tell you, princess,’ he stated, ‘seems like we’re both guilty of doing something we’re not supposed to, hm?’

Placing the cigarette between his lips again, he turns his attention to you, noting that you’d crinkled your nose as the smoke he’d exhaled blew back into your face. ‘You can handle the fuckin’ dust in the battlefield, but the moment you smell a cigarette you fold?’ he mocks, laughing.

Your brow furrows at his comment and you fought of the urge to rip the cigarette out of his mouth. Instead, you allowed him to have his silly little cancer stick knowing that, if you did so something so cruel, he was sure to be upset at you, no matter how close the pair of you were. Cigarettes were difficult to come by and you liked him enough to let him have one in peace.

—

When the world fades in, you’re moving.

You don’t know how, and for a short second, you’re convinced you’ve died. But, when you take a sharp breath and feel your lungs burning, you’re crudely brought back to life. When you look ahead of you, you witness two soldiers trailing behind you. Keeping your head bowed, you wince at the dizziness wrecking your tired mind, attempting to hold your breath in fear of the due ache in your lungs.

Swallowing, your mouth is dry and you feel the urge to vomit as your head keeps swaying from side to side. Your limbs feel like jelly, fluid. You can hear them talking, although, everything seems miles away from you, and you feel your eyes water as the tightness in your chest grows. If they know you’re here, do they know where Keegan is? The thought sends a chill down your spine, and in your delirious state, you declare that you will kill anyone who even dared to touch even a hair on his head. Even if it meant your death too.

‘That all you got you piece of shit?!’

It’s Merrick, you recognise his tone from anywhere, it nearly shatters your delirious state entirely, though, the grip on the back of your collar tightens as your pulled away from him.

There’s more shouting and a loud smack, Merrick, you imagine, is on the receiving end of such a hit. A Ghost in true fashion, that’s for sure. As you attempt to lift your head again, you find the world growing dark once more, and, while you feel as though you should fight against it just as you had seen him do, you allow yourself to fall back into the abyss as you feel your lung burning and throat swelling.

—

There’s a screeching when you come back around, a vile ringing in your ears. ‘Well, I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.’

Your blood runs cold.

As you slowly begins to lift your head, a hand grabs your face, forcing your head up. The light protruding from the window to the left of you is nearly bruising, and when the hand holding your face successfully tilts your head up, your eyes meet with Rorkes. He looks down at you with a wrinkled smirk, his hold tightening on your hair, yanking it harder. You wince at the pressure as he keeps his eyes on you.

‘You’re finally awake,’ he acknowledges, pushing your head down, letting go of your hair. ‘Good.’

He walks away from you, and as you look around, you note that Hesh is sitting directly across from you, Logan is to the right of you, and Elias is to your left.

As you continue to look around, your face pales at the disappearance of Merrick, and while you sit, you recall the faint memory in your banging head of the man being surrounded by Federation soldiers.

He’s smart, you think, you could leave that bastard in a forest with a knife and he’d have his own fuckin’ city in a month. He’s fine.

‘Nice to have the family back together, isn’t it?’ Rorke asks, looking to Elias. The man shows no fear, looking the devil right in the eyes with a stoic expression on his face. ‘One thing, though,’ he says, ‘we’re just missin’ our quiet friend, aren’t we?’ he says.

Your heart calms at such a statement.

He doesn’t have him, he’s fine, he’s safe.

You expect him to keep his eyes trained on Elias, counting on the fact that he is the Captain, but, he turns his head over his shoulder and looks at you. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turns his back to Elias, placing his hands down on his knees, ‘where’s Keegan?’

Looking him in the eyes, you spite your dry throat as the muscles in your neck contort and you muster up a mouthful of phlegm. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and you lung forward, a spray of mucus and saliva coating his face. ‘Fuck you,’ you heave, ‘I’m not telling you a fuckin’ thing,’ you sharply state.

He looks at you with wide eyes, standing up and wiping his face with the palm of his hand.

‘Damn bitch has got some fight in her, doesn't she?’ he laughs, turning to Elias, ‘not your daughter by blood, but by attitude… fuck me, Elias, you’ve got yourself a mini me!’ he exclaims. You bite your lip, taking a deep breath as you look at your Captain with bleary eyes. Grabbing the back of the man’s chair, he pulls it to him. Elias’ gaze doesn’t leave his. ‘Where is he?’ he slowly questions.

There’s a moment of silence.

‘You know I’m not telling you a damn thing,’ he spits, baring his teeth in his direction.

Never have you seen the man so agitated, his bruised face flushed red, his split lip oozing with blood, a thin line of it trailing down his chin. He looks like a savage beast as the sunlight behind him renders his features darker than typical, and the curve of his lips when he addresses Rorke even sends a shiver up your spine.

Of course, a Ghost was loyal to his own until death, and even then, they were buried down to watch over them. Once a Ghost, always a Ghost. Elias proved his worth much more than Rorke ever could, and while you wondered what exactly they had done to break the man who Elias had described as ‘one hell of a Ghost,’ but one thing was for certain. A man who broke was not a Ghost. Never was, and never would be.

’Go fuck yourself,’ Elias hisses.

Rorke laughs, nodding his head, letting go of the back of his chair. It lands with a clatter, and you watch as the man continues to nod to himself.

‘Dangerous fuckin’ game you’re playing,’ he states, and you watch as his right hand moves from the front of him, trailing around to the side where his pistol sat in his holster.

He’s gonna shoot Elias. Your eyes grow wide as you watch the man retrieve his weapon. Your muscles tensing as he holds it out in front of him. It’s aimed right at his chest, overing above his heart. ‘Well, let's see if I can change your mind,’ he exhales.

BANG.

In a moment, his hand whips around, and when the trigger is pulled, all the air in your lungs exudes like puss from a pimple.

The shot causes your ears to ring. It’s loud, and everything is fuzzy. For a moment, you look up in search of the wound, hoping that the bullet had not went through your Captains skull. Only, when you look in his direction, you see the smoking pistol pointed directly at you. Your eyes grow wide, and you let out a short breath.

You heard the gun go off, the bullet had to be somewhere. And then, you felt a wetness pooling against your thighs. Everything seemed to move slowly when you raised your head up, looking across to Hesh with wide eyes.

I’m going to die, I’m going to die and Keegan isn’t here with me.

As you manage to get a short breath in, agony hits you like a truck and you lean over without a second thought.

I’m going to die.

All you training, everything, how to stop the bleeding, none of it matters; you’re truly at the disposal of the enemy and there’s nothing you can do. Not even you Captain can do anything.

‘NO!’ Elias screams, dragging you back into the moment.

Between the thudding beats of your heart, you hear Hesh screaming out bloody murder, thrashing against the ropes that keep him tied to the chair, ‘Son of a bitch!’ he screams, looking directly at Rorke, ‘I’m going to kill you! You hear me? I’m going to fucking kill you!'

A shaky breath leaves you as your eyes well with tears, and when you look down, you gulp hard at the sight of a wound oozing blood. Your throat tightens as you feel your entire body grow hot.

‘Easy junior,’ Rorke warns with a disapproving tone. You keep your head bowed as his shadow looms over you, ‘I ain’t even started with you yet,’ he chuckles.

Keegan, where’s Keegan- I’m going to die.

Your eyes sting as your trembling hands press against the rope, pulling against them. You need to get out of there otherwise you are going to die.

Elias calls your name, you hear it, he shouts it, yet, it seems so quiet.

'Look at me!’ he demands, and while everything in you is telling you to keep your eyes trained on the wound, you force your head up, sniffing hard as you look your Captain in the eyes. At the very least, even if Keegan isn’t there with you, you have him.

Elias, you captain, your military father. There have been plenty of jokes made during particularly bleak moments in missions where Hesh and Logan have likened you to their sister. It's an honour, truly, to know that they were your brothers no matter relation, and Elias entertained the idea that you were the daughter he had never had.

Rorke appears behind him and it’s then that you don’t realise how many seconds are passing. Every single second feels like an hour, and you’re more than aware that every second passing is yet another drop of wasted blood. You’re running on borrowed fucking time, and there’s Rorke, the big fucking man he is, parading around in front of you like he’s a jester. ‘That’s right,’ he chuckles, placing his hand on Elias shoulder, ‘that’s it,’ he sighs, ‘show him how much pain he’s causing you right now.’

‘Keegan will kill you,’ you rasp out, stifling a short whimper as you clench your teeth. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I will.’

You’re more than aware of the situation your in and your pessimism seems to waver with your consciousness as a sudden boost of adrenaline fills you with defiance. If you’re going to die, you might as well run your tongue; the worst thing that can happen in this moment is him simply putting you out of your misery.

Rorke laughs at your threats, ‘you see,’ he begins, ‘funny think about your old Captain here,’ he stops himself for a moment, shoving Elias as he resumes his position, looking you in the eyes, ‘He lets his men die to save his own ass,’ he states, turning his attention away from you, turning his attention back to the Captain.

Exhaling shakily, you look over to Hesh and Logan who return a look equally as frightened. Never have you seen the pair of them appear so apprehensive, although, you definitely don’t miss the look of anger. No, even though the look isn’t intended for you, you feel a chill run up your spine.

‘Dammit, Rorke,’ Elias yells, ‘this is between you and me!’

The world seems like its on a merry-go-round, twisting and turning leaving a delightful fuzziness in your head. Adrenaline is pupping through you, and you’re thankful for the emotion, for, if you didn’t have it, you very well would have been out like a light. Your hands continue to pull against the ties of your rope, and while your wrists are burning from the constant pulling and tugging, you breath a short sigh of relief when you feel them loosening. Whoever tied it clearly weren’t trained in the art of kidnapping.

‘Leave my kids out of it!’ Elias demands.

You feel your heart warm at his sentiment, giving you all the more fight to get out of these damn binds. Works gun is right next to him, you can get it, you can reach for it, and you can blow that fuckers brains out.

‘You’re talking to a superior Lieutenant,’ Rorke says, pacing back and forward, before finding his way right back to Elias. Looking down at the man, he calmly speaks, ‘show some discipline.’

You feel your face grow warm listening to their exchange.

‘You were never one of us, you’re not a Ghost,’ Elias cruelly says, turning his face away from Rorke, looking down to the ground. Rorke hums, turning his attention back towards you.

The ties are growing looser, they’re getting there, you can almost get your hand out of them, yet, you maintain poker face as you look up at Rorke.

‘Well,’ Rorke breathes, ‘that’s just cause I’m better than you!’ he exclaims, keeping his eyes trained on you. You watch as they narrow, it’s a subtle one, one that you had noted during parring matches with rookies.

As Keegan had taught you, when soldiers get lazy, they give themselves away and it’s always in the eyes.

Your eyes dart to his hands, seeing him clench his fists as he snaps his body around, driving his fist into Elias’ face. The man falls to the side with a grunt as Rorke takes a short breath before raising his other fist, ‘I’ve always been better than you!’ he seethes, punching that man again. Elias tilts his head back against the chair, and you watch as both Logan and Hesh begin to fight much harder against their restraints. Either way, someone was getting out and Rorke was going to pay. ‘But you… you call yourself a Ghost?!’ he barks, hating Elias again.

As he looks down on Elias, you pull a hand free from the ties. Keeping your eyes trained on Rorke, you look down at his gun, gritting your teeth. ‘You’re nothing! You and your kids, you’re dead!’ he declares.

Wrong move.

With his proud declaration, you push yourself up from out of the chair, snatching his pistol from out of the holster on his thigh. Such, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed by Rorke as he whips around, grabbing your arms, forcing the pistol up. You place your hands against his, using all the strength you can muster to pull the gun away from him.

Nothing moves him, however.

But he’s a monster, he likes to play with his food.

He’s not using all his strength, he’s taking it easy on you, and you’re still losing. As he does so, he laughs in your ear. ‘Oh,’ he gasps, ‘she’s still got a little life in her,’ he laughs aloud, positioning the gun so your pointing it directly at Elias. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you not to aim guns at people?’ You grunt, driving your foot against his boot, feeling his grip falter for a moment. You attempt to move the gun upwards, your finger pressed against the trigger. Everything burns. Everything hurts. But you’re not going to stop, you’re going to kill this bastard even if it kills you.

Unfortunately he’s a scummy man, and as punishment for you stomping on his foot, he drives an elbow into your stomach, winding you.

Your hold falters- you almost fall to the floor- but he keeps you up on your feet, and through gritted teeth declares, ‘they could go off!’ His finger jams against your pressed against the trigger, a loud shot ringing in your ears. You watch a Elias throws his head to the side as a bullet drives through his chest. You fight against him harder, shaking your head. ‘That’s is!’ He grunts, ‘just a little more that way,’ he instructs you, forcing your hand further to the right. You actively pull away as the both of you fight against each other. Tears are running down your faces at that moment, every pull and tug driving the bullet in your stomach further and further.

‘Dammit, Rorke, STOP!’ Hesh begs.

‘Point it… at…’ another shot is fired, and Elias takes it with a grunt, 'your Captain.’

As though taking candy from a baby, he lets go of your hands, plucking it out of your sweaty grasp. Gunpowder invades your nostrils as he lets you go. Rookie mistake, you hear it in your head, but it isn't your voice. It's Keegan's.

You wobble on your feet, staggering backwards as your get your bearings. What you need to do is untie Logan who is right behind you, and then when he's distracted you can get to Hesh. Yet, as you step back and begin to move towards Logan, Rorke whips around to face you again driving the butt of the pistol into your face. It hits you with a crude thwack, a stoke of colour meeting your gaze as you fail to catch yourself, tumbling to the ground.

Logan screams out as you fall to the ground, and you tense as you brace for impact. You land with a thud, a broken cry escaping your lips when you feel the bullet lodge in your stomach dig further in.

The pain leaves you gasping an you clench your teeth as the room spins. Nausea spread through you as you lay there attempting to collect yourself, gulping back the urge to vomit. Resting your palm against the ground, you begin to attempt to pick yourself up. If you can just make it to Logan, you can make everything right.

Keeping your eyes trained on Elias, you watch as Rorke circles him as a shark did its pray. Both Hesh and Logan are calling you for you, the rattle of their chair thumping causing your ears to ring. Licking your dry lips, you tense when Rorke turns back to you, pointing the pistol in his hand directly at your head.

‘You got fire in you, kid,’ he breathlessly confesses, ‘I like that… risking your life to protect your Captain,’ he chuckles, leaning into Elias, pressing his finger against his chest. ‘You could learn something from her, Elias.’

‘She’s my daughter,’ he croaks.

‘Yeah,’ Rorke nods, glancing at you, ‘and she’s gonna get to watch you die. Her and your boys.'

Shot after shot is fired, every bang against you to witness as you grab your stomach, pressing down against the wound to keep yourself from losing more blood than necessary. You’re far too dazed to get up and fight against the man who saw the very life of your Captain as some sort of joke. So, you watch, helpless, as Rorke empties a clip into Elias.

‘No! No! Dad!’ Hesh cries. His face is red as he frashes against the ties keeping him from his father, the very sight making your headache. His tone is piercing as he carelessly spits out curses at the man before him. ‘I’ll kill you, you hear me?’ he screams, ‘I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Motherfucker!’

The worlds a little blurry.

Your eyelids grow heavy, and when you force the open upon hearing a thud right in front of you, you’re surprised to see Elias’ face meters away from yours. You fight against the urge to drift off. You’re not going to die, you’re getting out of this and you’re seeing Keegan again- you can't die.

‘You did well,’ Elias breathes, looking at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight of blood seeping onto the ground, ‘I’m proud of you, you and my boys,’ he utters, wheezing for a single breath of air. His lips are blue as he stares at you, your eyes welling with tears as you're forced to watch as the man struggles for his last breaths.

Rorke’s boot is planted firmly on top of his head, and you catch your Captain glancing up at the man.

For the very first time, you see fear in his eyes. It's a dastardly look, mixing with the loss of blood in an unappealing manner as his face grows sickeningly pale. Something tells you that Elias Walker is scared of dying.

No Ghost is to be scared of death, that's not who we are.

But, we're scared of losing each other.

Elias Walker is scared of losing his family, of leaving them behind.

Rorke sighs, pushing his boot further down, leaning down to press the muzzle of the pistol against his forehead.

Keegan, please.

‘Oh… you are right, Elias,’ breathes the man, ‘I’m not a Ghost,’ he grins. There's a pause in his words, and you find yourself searching for some form of sickly hope that just in the nick of time, there will be a bullet in Rorke's head rather than Elias'.

Rorke remains tall and as he licks his thin lips and eyes Elias, you find a dismal pit in your stomach that you know you're never going to recover from.

‘I’m the man that hunts them, and sends them back to the other side.’

With that, he pulls the trigger.

You scrunch your eyes shut as you hear the rattle of the man's chest, a wet pray covering your face. Your lips form into a thin line as you choke out a broken sob, and when you bring your lips together again, the metallic taste of your Captains blood. Behind you, you can hear both Logan and Hesh sobbing, the anger the pair of the showed silently dissipated into grief.

The rustle of fabric in front of you unnerves you, and you attempt to turn away from Elias' corpse, letting out a startled breath when a shadow looms over you and you're grabbed.

'Leave her alone,' begs Logan, 'you got what you wanted. Leave her be... please.'

Rorke holds you in his arms like a child would a doll, and to your surprise, he guides you back into the chair you had jumped out from, forcing you back into it.

Standing back from the three of you, he rubs his mouth with his hand, his lips curling into a small grin as he hums to himself. 'Some talent is between you kids,' he says, 'real shame you're fighting the wrong side of this war, really, it is.'

—

Much to your pleasure, you find Merrick alive.

Despite your doubts prior, you knew well the man was capable of surviving. After the execution of Elias, Rorke left you with his soldiers and you, Hesh, Logan and Merrick were all forced onto your knees, kneeling on the balcony where the attack had first initially ensued. You’re unsure as to how much time had passed, but you were sure the wound was not getting any better as every time you shifted, you fell light headed.

The soldiers that had been observing you receive something on the radio, although, your entire body is hot and your ears are ringing, the memory of Elias’ face stuck in your head as you were forced to witness his death close and personal. You’re quite sure there is residue on of the crime on your face, so, you keep your head bowed, out of the way of both Logan and Hesh who look completely broken.

‘You alright?’ Logan whispers.

You’re shaking, but you nod your head.

‘Just Peachy, L, don’t worry about it,’ you utter, keeping your head down.

A shadow is cast over you and you catch sight of the boots of three soldiers.

‘The boss wants the girl alive,’ says one of them, causing you to snap your head upwards, looking at the three of them.

The one in the middle is pointing at you, marking you out of the crowd while the other two simply observe.

You feel dirty.

The man beside him nods his head, grabbing his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Hesh, while the other one approaches Logan, repeating the process.

It’s terribly calculated, killing both of the brothers, clearing the world of Elias once and for all at the same time. You keep your eyes trained on Hesh, eyes occasionally drifting to the window as you sit and wait. Planting the pistol firmly against Hesh’s head, you hear Logan grunt beside you. Hesh moves to the side, his forearms tensing, preparing for the shot. At the very last, they’re showing them mercy. They could have slit their throats, left them to drown in their own blood, yet, they’re making it easy.

One shot to the head.

Then you see him.

A small flicker of light in the distance.

The light at the end of the tunnel.

The glass shatters, the man holding the gun to Hesh’s head stumbling down onto his knees, his hand firmly planted against his chest. It all happens so fast, the man beside him stands dazed, looking at his colleague. Another shot is fired, going right through the mans skull. A spray of brain, blood and skull covers you as the man fulls forward.

‘HESH, LOGAN! NOW!’ Merrick demands, the pair of them jumping to their feet.

Logan shoves the guard to the ground, pulling him away from you while Hesh and Merrick rush two of two of the soldiers by the balcony. The awestruck soldier is left to you and you watch as he rushes forward, pulling the gun from the corpse of the dead soldier. Fortunately, Hesh manages to grab the rifle from off of the solider standing on the balcony, elbowing him in the stomach. Rushing up to you, he hits the back of the mans guns with the butt of the rifle, causing the man to fall to his knees. You watch with wide eyes as the solider attempts to rush up to him while Hesh fights with the other one.

Another shot is fired.

The soldier behind Hesh falls to the ground.

‘I got you! Go!’ Merrick yells as more shots are fired.

The rest of the soldiers standing behind are dropped. To the right of you, you hear a gunshot as you stand up, watching Logan push himself up from off of the ground, the blood of a Federation soldier soaking into his t-shirt as he steps over the corpse. Grabbing the pistol discarded on the ground, Logan quickly fires a shot through the head of the solider Hesh is fighting with. A bullet whizzes past you, and without a second thought, you snap around, firing two shots directly into a soldier to the right of you. There are more shots from the right of you, and when the final body drops, you exhale.

‘You okay, Merrick?’ Logan asks as Merrick unties the ropes around his wrists. ‘Rib’s broken, but I can move,’ he reassures, rushing up to Hesh.

Logan pulls himself free, immediately approaching you, ripping off the edge of his t-shirt. You watched with a furrowed brow as he eyes you.

‘Need to keep you from bleeding all over the place,’ he states, ‘c’mere,’ he instructs. You step forwards and he hands you the scrap from his t-shirt. Pressing it against the wound, you groan as he wraps the rope around you waist, trying it tightly around your waist. ‘Keegan’ll kill us if you lose a drop more blood… lost enough today too,’ he says, tying it tightly. ‘You still good to fight?’

‘Always,’ you say.

Holding his hand out, the pair of you bump fists and for the first time since this morning, you feel the dread swirling in your blood slowly coming to a stop.

‘We got to get going,’ Merrick sharply states, marching ahead of the free of you. Hesh follows after him. ‘Keegan, we’re up and moving, get here as soon as you can,’ he instructs.

You look at his back in surprise, your own hand falling to your ear piece realising thatchy hadn’t taken them off of you.

‘Check… I’ll meet you in the kitchen,’ confirms the voice you have missed so terribly.

You clear your throat, wincing as you proceed forward, following after Merrick. Part of you wants him to say something to you, to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but you understand that doing such would absolutely be irresponsible, so, you busy yourself listening to Merrick.

‘We need to make it to the west side of the building,’ he states, ‘it’s the best chance of getting out of here.’ You nod silently, taking a moment to take a breath. Everything was going to be fine, and in the end of this, you were going to have Rorke’s head in your hands. ‘You still good to fight, Eclipse?’

‘Always,’ you give a short nod, ‘bleedings calmed,’ you confirm, despite the burning causing you legs to wobble slightly. In due time it will be over, all of this ill be a distant memory. Just push on a little longer, that’s all you have to do.

‘Shh.. noise behind the door,’ Hesh warns as he approaches it, ‘lets make this quick.’

—

As you push through the room, you exhale when a voice calls, 'I'm almost there,' Keegan confirms as your brow furrows, a particularly step sending a shot of pain through your stomach up your back.

You clamp your mouth shut as you whimper, your dry mouth longing for a drop of water. Eventually, this will be over, you just had to stick to it. He's almost here, you just have to keep pushing on. That's the only thing you can do.

Just keep fighting.

'You better find a place to hide, though, lotta guys headed right to you,' he warns.

You want to complain upon hearing such, why can it never just be easy? Everything has to be difficult, no matter what you're doing, you can never just catch a break.

‘Key,’ you exhale seeing the man standing before you.

His hardened haze softens upon catching sight of you, and you waste no time rushing up to him, throwing your arms around him. While unprofessional, you feel no shame in confessing that you were going to die without him, and if anything, you were deserving of this moment. The hug you share is brief as he grabs your forearms checking you over.

He stops when he sees your stomach.

Merrick curses and falls to the ground, ‘shit,’ he hisses, attempting to push himself up off of the ground. As you look back to Keegan, the pair of you turn your attention towards the doors behind you, hearing voices edging closer and closer.

Grabbing you, he looks to Hesh and Logan, ‘get him up,’ he demands, gently guiding you into the room behind you. ‘We gotta hide, not gonna be able to take them,’ he states, pulling you to the side. ‘What the fuck happened?’ he whispers as Logan and Hesh quickly help Merrick inside the room.

You feel his hand against your stomach, wincing as he looks at you. The pressure on your stomach falters as he pulls his hand away, observing a wet patch in his gloves.

‘Got shot talking back to Rorke,’ you confess, and while you’re sure it’s something you certainly should not be proud of, you speak with a glowing tone as you look at him. Besides, he trained you all those years ago, why should you be ashamed?

'Logan thought fast, used the rope he tied us up with to try and stop the bleeding,’ you mumble. His gaze hardens as he looks at you, and you swear you can see his Adams apple bobbing beneath his mask. Gently he pushes you behind him, helping you to the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he reaches his hand behind him, squeezing your knee.

It’s so quiet, yet you feel as though your heart is going to burst.

You place your bloody, shaking hand over his and offer him a wavering smile. He takes it in for a moment before snapping back into action. His hand is pulled from your knee and you’re left alone.

'Turn that radio down,' Merrick hisses as Hesh helps him down

He hums as the doors burst open. Pushing you behind him, you all sit and watch as shadows pass you by.

And then the world begins to still. You're unable to describe just what it is you're feeling, although, despite the weight and severity of everything happening around you, you feel light as a feather. Your clothes are soaked at this point and in spite of your efforts, you find your breathing slowing as you lean against the wall.

Clumsily, you reach your had out to latch onto the floor as you feel an overwhelming drowsiness hit you. You've put in all the work and effort you can muster, yet, you've tried from it and as you wade through the mush of panicked voices and the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears, you succumb to your body's desperation and fully close your eyes, wading into the quiet of the stream.

#cod #call of duty #cod ghosts #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan russ x reader #keegan p russ x reader #keegan russ x you #cod x reader #ghosts #call of duty ghosts #call of duty x reader #cod x you #call of duty x you #cod ghosts x reader

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artists-ally · 1 year

Text

{Weather} Reader x Azriel

Hello people! My name is Ally and I am proud to enter the ACOTAR world with a bang. I've been writing for years and years now and thought eh fuck it why not start posting it.

So here I am. 100% not expecting this to go anywhere but if it does, come give me a shout! I'd love to hear what y'all have to say about it or hear your ideas for fic recommendations.

There isn't a whole lot of plot, just a thought that turned into another and I connected them. Enjoy!

Word Count ~ 7,523

Warnings ~ Language, blood, hurt/comfort, fluff, violence/fighting, lets all pretend that you can winnow inside the House of Wind for a sec pls.

Summary ~ You have been encompassed into the Inner Circle after the Spring Court went to shit. During a dry stead between the Queens and Hybern, Azriel was sent on a mission to the Mortal Lands to see what was going on. There is little he can do to hide his rather harsh expedition. Set during ACOWAR, you provide a level of comfort for the shadowsinger that no one else is capable of.

~~~~~

All of us are sitting around the House of Wind, relaxing after another brutal day of training. I had been with Cassian, Mor with Rhysand and Feyre, Amren off doing Amren things. Azriel was… nowhere to be found.

It’s been a few days since anyone has heard from him. We know he’s been spying in the Queen’s territory, but to not have a check in or for him to not come home to rest for days on end is concerning.

But what makes my gut churn is the smell of blood coming from upstairs.

Azriel’s blood.

Rhys and Cass get a whiff of their brothers' carnage and exchange a worried look with me. The three of us winnow up to his room and knock on his door.

“Az?” Cass says softly.

No response.

“Azriel, it’s Rhys, open the door,” Rhysand knocks a little harsher than Cassian had.

No response. They can hear his labored breathing and groans, and the smell of blood. They didn’t bother to knock a third time. When his door unlocked on a phantom wind, the sight was horrifying. Az peered over his shoulder at the curse coming from Cass, and shook his head.

“I don’t want visitors,” he mumbled, trying to stand, but failing to do so. Rhys and Cassian rushed to his side, helping him sit back down. I remained in the doorway. Staring at his wings.

They were a little mangled to say the least. Cuts and scratches littered the delicate leather, some puncture wounds oozed trickles of blood and puss.

“What in the name of the Cauldron happened?” Cassian demanded from the shadowsinger.

“Tree snare, Mortal lands are littered with them,” He groaned. “I’m fine, please just- please leave.”

He never begged quite like that before. The desperation was a foreign thing to his tongue. He tried to straighten his spine, but it did no such thing. He hissed at the jarring of his wings, and settled into the curves of his hunched over position.

He looked awful.

“Az, we can’t just leave you like this. We can get Madja in here-”

“No,” he plead again, tone more harsh than the last. “No… leave. I don’t want any help.”

Typical of Az to say such a thing. The quiet, reserved male was always so adamant about doing things on his own he forgot that sometimes it’s better to ask for help than to suffer in silence. Especially when it comes to such a delicate and sensitive body part.

But alas, the two brothers nodded, stepping around the third and heading to the door. I moved out of their way, but not with them. I just continue to stare at his toned, berated back.

“Yn…” he called out. “Don’t make me beg you too.”

I stiffened.

I knew how hard this must be for him. To turn down his friends, to turn down aid. I don’t know Azriel very well, not like the others did after spending five centuries with him. But maybe that would… I don’t know

“I won’t say anything,” I promised. “Just let me clean you up, is all I’m asking.”

He sighed heavily, hanging his head in his hands, but he nodded. I quickly shut the door behind me and moved to the bathroom. Under his sink there was a little brown pouch with all kinds of medical supplies. I grabbed some towels and a bowl of hot water appeared by his feet. When I walked back into the main area, he had his chin fastened on his fist, looking out the big window.

I stood next to him laying the open bag next to him so I could rummage through it. There were some wipes, some bandages and some thick cloth pads. I ripped open as many as I thought I needed and began to apply pressure to the wounds on his arms and shoulders.

Az held a few while I drenched a cloth with the warm water and began to clean off the dirt and sap.

He didn’t even seem to breathe, to even blink as I ran the cloth up and down his right arm, ditching it on the floor when it was too dirty to continue. I repeated my steps until the majority of him was clean. The bleeding had stopped for the most part and I applied an adhesive pad to the area to keep it covered. I couldn’t smell any infection on them so it was okay to conceal the wounds. Had there been a sticky, yellow goo then they would need to drain.

Then I looked at his wings.

They weren’t shredded, but they were not in good condition by any means. They looked so painful.

I silently moved to the opposite side of the bed, kneeling into the mattress and spreading out more supplies.

“I-” he started, “please be gentle…”

“Of course,” I nodded, resting my hand on his shoulder to try and get them to relax. They sagged a bit, but didn’t stay there long. The second my fingers grazed the smooth flesh, he jumped.

“Sorry, sorry,” I mumbled, retracting my hands. “What hurts?”

“No, no it’s not painful, just very sensitive, I’ll try to hold still,” he apologized, displaying his wings, stretching them out all the way as if to brace them against the bed. They were massive. And most of the small cuts and snags littered the top and middle of the span, not towards the bottom.

“This might sting a little, if it’s too much, tell me, and I’ll stop.”

He nodded, clutching the tops of his knees. His breathing was hard as I dabbed the first cotton ball to the sore area. It had been rubbed raw from Mother knows what.

There had to be hundreds of them, if not a thousand scrapes and scratches. But they all didn’t need tending to, they would heal just fine. There were a few that I was concerned about and applied something to keep the bacteria from spreading.

I gently slid my hand to his shoulder, pressing it down from his ear, telling him it was okay, that he was alright.

He listened, settling down. I knew he must be in a lot of pain. There wasn’t much that I could’ve done beside what I did, but I did as much as I could to ease the tension. I summoned another rag and gently cleaned the skin on his back, wiping the mud baked onto his skin. Az relaxed more at that.

“I know it’s not really my place to ask, but if you would like to share what happened, I will patiently listen, Azriel. If not, I’ll enjoy the silence with you,” I offered, my hands coming to his shoulders, massaging the thick muscle.

He groaned in satisfaction, dipping his head forward and sagging downward. His arms slumped to his side as I drove my knuckle between the fibrous strands. Az ground his teeth, breathing with every knot I worked from his body. I drove my thumb in and around the base of his wings, careful not to brush against them.

Cassian had once told how sensitive Illyrian wings were. Why they were so sensitive. It made my cheeks blush, which I was taunted for endlessly.

Azriel sucked in a breath.

I had been too busy thinking about all the things Cass and Rhys had teased me with and my thumb slipped, brushing the delicate nerves at the base of his spine. I could see the goosebumps etch his bronze skin.

“S-Sorry,” I stuttered, fingers trembling, struggling to resume. “Do you need anything else? Can I get you something to drink or eat?”

I stood before he had a chance to say otherwise. I didn’t, truly didn’t, mean to brush over the hyper-sensitive area.

Azriel just looked up at me with full eyes. They looked like strangers, not the deep, fierce set of hazel that I had come to know. They were like the shadows that whispered in his ear. There hadn’t been a glimpse of them in the hour or so that I’d been here tending to him. It’s as if they’ve vanished.

His eyes were bright, filled with his pupils in a way that made him seem feline. Like a true predator hunting in the pit of night.

“I…” Az started, swallowing hard before his eyes darted between mine. “Will you stay? Please?”

He reached his hand to grab mine, and I let him, his warm, scarred hands engulfing mine. I nodded precisely, a smile playing on my lips. He seemed to deflate then, a weight being lifted off his shoulders and he dragged me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head against my stomach.

I let my arms fall over his shoulders, the strands of his inky black hair finding its way into my fingers. I tangled it between my digits gently, letting the soft curls form as I brushed them away, repeating the process.

I had no idea how long we stayed there for, but enough for the once dimly lit room to ignite with fae light as the sun set over the Sidra.

Azriel began to tug me closer. I had no choice but to crawl into his lap, letting my weight rest over one of his legs as he clung to me.

I didn’t dare try and break this moment.

I nestled into the dip between his shoulder and neck, letting my eyes lull shut as his warm body did the same. I let my thumbs brush against the smooth skin on the back of his shoulder, wanting to press a kiss there, but… not my place, I reminded myself.

I had always cared for the Illyrian more than the others had. Was always the one wondering if what his shadows were whispering were things to him or about him. I knew he had a traumatic pass, and I knew he suffered a great deal during the early years of his immortal life, but things were… they weren’t great, but we were in a lull. With Hybern. Things were stalled so we took this time to cut back.

Not Az. He was always spying somewhere, reporting on new territories siding with us or the King, but nothing more. We all knew he needed a break, but never took one. It was frustrating.

He shifted on the bed, then I felt a gust of wind encase my body.

His wings enveloped me entirely.

I had not expected it. I was shocked to say the least. I tensed for a moment, and he must have sensed it because he began to retreat.

“No, no” I said, adjusting myself on his muscular thigh for a moment. “Put them back.”

He answered with the leathery wings covering us completely. I settled into the warmth, the soft scent they admitted. I had never felt so safe in my entire life, so completely safe and comforted.

I didn’t know a lot about Illyrian tradition since I had been encompassed into the inner circle, but I knew enough that it was a great honor to see a pair of wings up close, let alone touch them. If he had let me do that, gods only knew what this meant.

I felt a tear hit my shirt. I heard him sniffle, then hiccup in a breath.

“Azriel…” I breathed out slowly, gripping him tighter as he clung to me, the sobs wracking through his body. He gasped for a breath every now and then, the tears falling faster with every breath.

He cried for a long while. I wasn’t even sure if he knew how to do that. To cry, to be vulnerable with anyone.

“It’s okay, Az, I’m here, I’m right here Az it’s okay,” I soothed, twisting his hair around my fingers once again. His breathing seemed to even out at that, sobs reduced to trickling tears and sniffles.

I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t know what to say.

Thankfully, he spoke. “I don’t know what you did, Yn… but you made the shadows go away. It is so quiet without their roar in my ear. In my bones… everything is silent. There are no whispers, no murmurs of potential threat. It is all quiet.”

My heart thundered in my chest so hard I thought it might break my rib cage. There were no words to describe the feeling in my body. I gripped him even tighter.

His hands stroked up and down my sides, gently nudging me to pull off. I did, meeting his glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks. His hand ever so gently came up to my face, fingers barely touching the surface of my skin as he looked into my eyes. So deep I thought he might see my thoughts.

“Thank you,” was all he said. I nodded and smiled, tucking the hair behind his ears. “Besides Madja and my own mother, I have never let anyone touch my wings. Not even Rhys or Cassian. They are… my entire world. The most prized possession any Illyrian could hoist. They are my ticket to anywhere in the world and I let you touch them without a second thought.”

My eyes had widened at that.

“In 500 years,” I gaped, “you’ve never let either of them touch your wings? Once?”

He shook his head, “Never. It is a privilege that few get to experience. Typically just mothers to their newborns, but once you learn to fly, you’re old enough to take care of them on your own. It becomes our responsibility to keep them safe and keep them clean. Of course there may be a medical need, but other than that, they are not to be touched. Only mates have that sacred right.”

My heart clenched.

I’ve only been a part of this group since the middle of the war. I had left the Spring Court when Feyre had planted those lies. They spread to my territory and we all went our separate way. For the better. I chose to come and fight for what we all knew was right. I can’t say the same for the rest of my family.

I had managed to hitch a few rides to Summer, right before Adrita was attacked. I fought alongside them, and none of them knew that I was from Spring besides Feyre. She had recognized me for the Tithe. We instantly connected and she offered me sanctuary with them while we fought against Hybern. I had exceptional knowledge of the Spring Court and The Wall, of who was going where and when.

When we came back to Velaris, I was introduced to Amren, who just briefly looked up from that book, took a sip from a gauntlet, gave me a cold once-over, and went right back to the book.

Nesta was much the same.

Elain hadn’t said much either, just asked me if I knew anything about the human lands. I was later informed on her betrothed. It made my heart hurt.

Mor was undoubtedly my best friend. She really helped me get settled here in Velaris. She was the one to pick me up time and time again when I didn’t think I could go on.

Rhysand was more of a gentleman than anyone painted him to be, especially all those years Under The Mountain. He was not a hostile homicidal maniac like Amarantha had painted for him. He was gentle, and kind, only being capable of those horrible things when he needed to be.

Cassian was… well, Cassian. Big, strong, charming as ever. Dumber than a pile of rocks but a brute of a man nonetheless. He was my other best friend. My go-to drinking buddy and my favorite person to beat at cards. I would come with him and Nesta to Windhaven. He was not merciful.

And then there was Azriel. He rarely spoke when he wasn’t prompted. He kept to himself, to those shadows, and wasn’t one for conversation. I had only spoken to him three or four times. Most of them during the war, once during Solstice to give him his gift. It was usually just… so, between us.

Until now.

Until he let me touch his wings.

Could it have been a possibility that-

As if he knew what I was thinking, “I didn’t know how to bring it up to you, Yn. I didn’t want to at first, cause I didn’t think you felt anything. Any type of bond. And I certainly didn’t want to bring it up right in the middle of the war, risk death, and then leave you alone forever. I couldn’t bring myself to leave you with that type of pain.”

My eyes stung. My heart thundered. Every fiber in my body became aware of just how close I was to him. I took in a deep breath, eyes blinking rapidly.

“If you… I don’t know if that is what you want,” he hesitated. “If I am what you want, but you are everything I’ve ever needed, Yn. You are the sunshine to my dark and hazy life. The only thing that can make my deep, roaring shadows disappear. Completely. It is calm and utterly silent when you are near. And when I get to hold you… Cauldron Yn, it is like a fresh breath of air. Like a torrential rain to my wildfire. It hasn’t been this quiet inside my body since the day I was born.”

There was nothing I could do to stop the tears from flowing. They hit the clothing between us, saturating the fabric and then drying. I didn’t know what to say. And I could tell that was killing him, my silence. He tensed beside me, gripping my arms a little tighter.

“Yn” he breathes, so softly. So gently than anyone ever had.

I looked into his eyes, finding them to be so much more breathtaking than I did a little while ago.

“I don’t know what to say, Azriel,” I chuckled lightly. “I’m shocked, I just thought that you and Mor…”

“No,” he shook his head adamantly, “Not us. Not ever, I’m afraid. I spent a long time trying to… coax her, but she never budged. I decided I needed to look for someone else. For you.”

I smiled greatly.

“Stay with me, tonight,” he grabbed both of my hands, placing kisses to each of them before folding them against his heart. “Let me give this to you, slowly, at your own pace. It is yours, Yn. It always has been. Let it be yours, if you choose.”

His eyes, glowing and begging me to say something. When he pressed his lips to my hands, I could feel my chest tighten in a way it hadn’t before, constrict around itself until it let loose and erupted from within. Everything I had hoped for, spent countless hours dreaming of, pestering my mother about stories of when she found out my father was her mate, came true at that moment.

An unrelenting pull in his direction, a deceptively overwhelming feeling of trust and sureness that seemed to never end crashed through me. It was like I was looking at him for the first time. Like I opened my eyes and the first images I was blessed with seeing were of him, of Azriel, this shadowsinger and spymaster of the Night Court.

A piece of a puzzle locked into place, one that I hadn’t even known existed yet. And here it was, front and center in my mind, so clear it almost blinded me.

All I could do was smile. Smile and nod my head as I watched his teeth flash before he wrapped me up in his arms. He giggled, tossing me over his shoulder and rolling me around on his enormous bed. I laughed and laughed, letting him pepper my skin with kisses.

“You have no idea how long I have waited for this, Yn,” He sighed, propping himself up on one elbow, clutching my fingers in the other. “How long I have needed a mate.”

“I think I might have an idea,” I smiled, tucking some hair behind his ear. He rolled his eyes, scooping me up and laying me on top of his chest.

Cauldron knows how long we stayed like that for, just talking and smiling at each other, kissing every now and then. When I grew too tired to keep my head up, his wings encased me again, that soft, musky scent circling around me.

“Rest, my Yn,” he whispered, his arms coming around my waist. “We can talk all day tomorrow.”

+++++++

The sun made him look like the most perfect shade of bronze. His dark, inky hair was a mess over his eyes, his tattoos swirling across his shoulders. His wings were still folded around me, keeping my body pressed to his all night long.

Azriel slept, another thing I wasn’t sure he actually knew how to do.

I shifted my legs around, detangling them from his. He groaned, but let them go, only tightening his grip around my torso.

“Az,” I whispered, "we need to get up, training is in an hour.”

“Five more minutes,” he grumbled, tucking his head beneath my chin. The hair on his head smelled like the Sidra; salty and lemony. So calming and soothing. I let him, and myself, have a few more minutes, just basking in each other. But I eventually did have to be the fun killer.

“I’m sure Cassian will understand if you don’t want to train today, but I unfortunately don’t have any excuse. I have to get ready and go eat before I go. Let me up, please.”

He let go reluctantly, making a big huff as I climbed away from him.

I laughed, “You know I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Yes, but I wanted to spend this morning with you. I want to spend all my time with you.”

My heart swooned. “Come to breakfast with me. Even if you don’t want to train you can still come and watch.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, but followed me nonetheless. I got changed into my fighting leathers, and Az strolled behind me to the dining room. I greeted everyone like I normally would, as did Azriel. They could instantly tell, because he wore a smile on his lips the entire meal, taking up the empty seat next to me, which normally was Mor’s.

When she strolled in, she gave him a high eyebrow and he shrugged. She looked at me and I had to suck my lips into my mouth to keep from cackling out. I mouthed ‘I'll tell you later’.

When I rose from my seat, so did Azriel, following me into the kitchen.

“When will you be back?” He asked softly, cradling me close.

“By noon, Mor and I have some work we need to do at Rita’s,” I responded, falling into his warmth. “Are you going to be alright here?”

He nodded against my shoulder, “I just don’t want you to go, is all. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.”

My heart sank at that. I was just happy to offer him at least some moments of rest in his utterly chaotic life. If I was able to give him any sort of relief, I’d stop at nothing to make sure that he has access to it whenever he pleases. Who was I to deny him of that?

He stepped away, pressing his lips into my forehead a few times.

“Have a good training session, please don’t get beat up too bad, I have plans for later,” he smiled, rubbing the sides of my arms.

“Oh?” I tilted my head.

“It’s a surprise, now get going, Cass is waiting for you.”

“Don’t blow a gasket when I come back with bruises from him,” I chuckled.

He straightened, real concern coming into his eyes. “Maybe I should come-”

“No, no I’ll be okay,” I explained. “Cassian has beat my ass more times than I could count and you were able to hold it in. I’ll be fine, it’s never anything too bad anyway, nothing I can’t handle. I'd really rather not see you bash his face in because he got in a couple of good shots.”

That didn’t make it any better. His grip tightened, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched.

“Hey!” Cassian called from down the hall. “Put your lover's quarrel on hold, we gotta go, Yn. If you’re not out here in 30 seconds I’ll make you go up and down the steps every second you’re late.”

I rolled my eyes, impatient bastard.

“I need to go,” I said, removing his hands from my body. “I will come find you when I’m back. Try and relax, okay? I’ll be fine, you know that.”

He just nods briefly before stepping out of the way to let me pass. He caught my elbow at the last second, kissing me so intensely I thought I might fall over. When he let me go, he was smirking like a cat.

++++++

The bond must have already been slipping into place because I could feel this agonizing pull back to the House of Wind. But it also felt like he was right here with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was spying from the shadows, something for him and I to talk about later.

Cassian and I had gone through our normal workouts, doing footwork drills and some strength training. But of course, even after almost collapsing to the floor himself, he wanted to spar.

“Can’t we just skip it for today?” I begged, rolling my head to look at him.

“Nope,” he said with a grin. “You need more practice, and I know it’ll come in handy against Hybern. If you ever find yourself without a weapon, all you’ll have is your fists. And seeing the look on Az’s face will be priceless.”

“You know,” it wasn’t really a question.

“I’ve known before he has,” Cassian huffed. “I pointed it out to him after about three times of you being near him. His shadows always disappeared and I found him staring at you. He didn’t even realize, said that he hadn’t even noticed things were quiet because he was too busy thinking of you.”

My heart lurched in my chest, filling with pride and triumph. “I don’t know what it is that I do.”

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “That is the whole point of being a mate, things just simply work.”

“I have given it a ton of thought in the past, about what it would feel like to have a mate, to have a bond with someone. It’s… so much different than I expected it to be. I miss him so much more than I thought I would. I thought I’d be able to ignore it, but I can’t.”

“Welcome to having a mate,” Cassian snickered, taking up a fighting stance. I followed suit, circling around him and dodging his blows. I wasn’t lucky enough to escape them all, one particularly hard kick sent me to my knees, and then Cassian was on top of me.

He flatten me like a bug and flipped me on my back. His forearm pressed into my throat, cutting off oxygen. I coughed, blood rushing to my face, my vision darkening.

“Come on, Yn, what have I taught you to do?” he pressed further into my esophagus. I drove my knee as hard as I could into his crotch, causing him to hiss, loosening his grip, faltering.

I smacked him as hard as I could in the face, sending him toppling to the ground. It had been hard, harder than I really meant to. I could see his eyes darken as he rose to his feet, really wanting a challenge now. He started to run towards me, and I braced myself for the impact, but it never came.

I saw a shadow blurr by and Cassian was vaulted 12 feet in the air. He made a dent in the earth as he drove through the soil. In seconds, he was encased in tendril like smoke. One that I recognized all too well.

“Az-”

“I am going to kill you,” the voice was so foreign. Azriel straddled Cassian as he held him up by the collar of his shirt. “How dare you put your hands on my mate.”

I climbed through the ropes of the ring as fast as I could, jumping down and off the platform. I sprinted the distance between us as fast as I could. I screamed his name, but couldn’t hear me over the roar of the shadows.

Before I could get there, Cassian had thrown him off and was ready to fight. The two went at each other so hard I was genuinely worried that Azriel was going to hurt him. I didn’t know what else to do, so I took off towards the townhouse.

I barged in the door, huffing puffing, and red faced as the door smacked off the wall.

“Cauldron alive, Cassian, how many times have I told you not- Yn?” Rhysand’s eyes immediately softened. “Are you alright?” “I was sparring with Cassian and Azriel came out of nowhere,” I rushed, barely able to speak over my labored breathing. “Last night he told me I’m his mate and I think he might actually kill-”

“Oh shit,” Rhys cursed, grabbing my arm and winnowing us both to the sight. They were still scrapping, both bleeding from the face. Azriel looked like an animal, and Cass looked like he was genuinely afraid. I haven’t ever seen him look like this, either of them.

Rhys threw himself in the middle, trying to get Azriel’s attention. He paid no mind to his High Lord, throwing him off his back as he lunged for Cassian again. I went to step in, to try and get his attention but-

“Yn no,” Rhysand shouted from a few feet away. That caught Azriel’s attention quickly. He looked up from where he had Cassian in a chokehold, eyes locking with mine. In a second, he vanished from Cass and appeared behind me. His arms were strong and tight around my middle. A snarl ripped from his chest as Cassian rose to his shaky feet.

His shadows encased us, creating a shield. He took staggering steps back, inhaling and exhaling so hard I thought he might pass out. Rhysand moved to check on his brother, Cassian battering him away as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

“Azriel,” I said through a hurried breath. “Az it’s me, it’s me.”

He inhaled deep, scenting the air, letting out a deep breath. His grip loosened and he said my name like an old forgotten prayer.

The shadows vanished immediately, his heavy body leaning against mine.

“Yn…” he breathed, turning me around. I shrugged his hands off of me, more than pissed at him for barging and attempting to kill his brother.

“Go inside,” I said, turning away from him.

“Yn please-” “I don’t wanna hear it from you,” I shouted, eyes blazing. He took a small step back, ears flattening back against his head, wings tucking in tightly to his body.

“That’s right, shadowsinger, go back-”

“Not another word from you either,” I snarled at Cassian. He, too, jumped in his skin. “You have nothing to brag about either. Don’t you dare put your hands on my mate like that again.”

Silence rippled around us. Rhys lifted his hand, opened his mouth to say something, but the glare I sent him had him scratching the back of his head quickly.

“I swear to the Mother that if anything happens while I’m with Mor at Rita’s, I’ll kick all of your asses myself. And don’t think for a second that I won’t drag Feyre into this either.”

That was more than enough to get the Illyrians to look the other way, words forgotten in their minds. I turned on my heel and grabbed my water from the corner before stalking off down the street to find Mor.

++++++

“He just appeared out of thin air?” Mor’s eyes were wide.

I nodded, “It was like he was waiting for something to happen. He would have killed Cassian, I’m sure of it, if Rhys hadn’t been there, and said my name to snap Az out of it.”

“Sounds like someone needs a little time alone with their new mate,” Mor’s eyebrows waggled on her forehead. I smacked her arm and she boomed a laugh. “I’m just suggesting.”

“It hasn’t even been a day since he told me, Mor, and he’s acting like he owns me. Rhys didn’t dare do this with Feyre,” I shook my head.

“Well,” she countered. “Rhys did almost kill Cassian once.”

“I know, I’ve heard the story a million times,” I sighed. “But that was after the Weaver and all that. They had mated and had time for the bond to be in place. There weren’t any problems until that and Az and I have barely kissed a handful of times. That’s it. How can he be this… territorial?”

“Az is unexplainably protective. Of all of us. Before you came along he was like that with all of us. In a different way, but… he’d never let any of us volunteer before he looked into it or did it himself. It is rooted deep within him, in a way none of us will understand.” “Even so, it doesn’t make it okay for him to do what he did.” “I don’t disagree,” she added, “but just try and understand where he is coming from. Yn, you are the only one who he has come across that can make his head silent. To stop the shadows and the constant whispers. I don’t know about you, but if that were me, I’m sure I’d do everything in my power to make sure nothing ever happens to my peace and quiet.”

+++++

When I came back with More, she bid me good luck before Winnowing herself back down to the Townhouse.

I came to the main dining room, Cassian, Rhysand and Feyre all sitting at the table.

“Okay, what the hell happened today?” Feyre demanded, noticing the bruises on my neck.

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” I snorted, letting down my shields so she could see it all. She flinched slightly when Az landed a particularly brutal blow to Cassian’s face. It sent blood spewing from his mouth.

“Has anyone seen him?” I asked with a sigh. No one answered, but I heard something. I whipped my head from side to side, this deafening roar in my ears.

“What?” Rhysand asked.

“You all don’t hear that?” I asked, eyes wide as I searched for the thunderous sound. I listened deeper and deeper, not hearing any words. I suddenly felt a chill in my bones so cold I thought I’d freeze right there. There were so many voices and whispers.

I looked up to the set of grand stirs and noticed the shadows lurking at the top.

Azriel…

I sprinted up the stairs, the tendrils leading me down the hall and to his room. When I opened the door, the room was almost pitch black, shadows swirling around and around like an endless storm over the Sidra.

I tried to push my way through, but I rebound off of it like a shield. I tried again, screaming his name. He was in the center. And I had no way of getting to him. I began to panic, shouting for him louder and louder.

Nothing, no response from my shadowshinger. I took a deep breath and shoved my body against the wall, bouncing off of it immediately. I slammed hard against the floor, back groaning as I pushed myself to all fours. I tried to crawl, but it was no use, it flung me back and into the hallway where Ryhs, Cassian, and Feyre were all standing, Mor popping up next to her.

“What the fuck-” Mor gasped, seeing it for herself.

“He’s in there,” I heaved, “Mor I can’t get to him what do I do?”

She was at a loss for words and Rhys slid beside her, taking it all in. He did nothing to hide his wide eyes and frantic look. His own shadows rose and tried to comfort the tempest, but failed. The roar in my ears grew so loud I couldn’t hear whatever Rhysand said to me. I tried to read his lips, follow the bond.

I felt deep inside, it was so cold. If I didn’t know any better I wouldn’t have known anything was there at all. I pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled. I must have screamed because everyone around me flinched. I went slack against the wall and covered my ears, calling out for Azriel. Begging for him to come to me.

A flicker. I felt a flicker of warmth in my chest. Against my soul, I felt a tug, as if he too was pulling on the same thread that ties us together. I pulled faster and faster until I slammed into something so hard I gasped.

It was rock solid, something so impenetrable, like magic itself. I beat on it with everything I had, prying at it with my whole being until it began to give away. I tore this wall apart, it grew warmer and warmer-

She doesn’t want a mate, she doesn’t want me…

There is no meaning if I do not have her to protect, she doesn’t want me to protect her.

Useless, dumb, bastard born Illyrian filth.

Rhysand and Cassian should have left you in that acid bath and left you to dissolve into nothing. They should not have saved someone so vain and cowardly.

These were not my thoughts, but they sure felt like it. I looked towards the swirling wind and shadow, finally seeing Azriel at the center, crumbled to the floor, hands over his ears.

“Azriel,” I shouted. He didn’t move.

“What’s happening?” Rhysand asked, helping me to stand on my feet.

“I-I don’t know I just felt this rush of thoughts and now I can see him but he can’t hear me,” I felt the tears in my eyes. He looked around, as if searching for his own thoughts, but then he stood rigid, throwing a glance at Cassian. They seemed to share a thought before Rhys turned back to me.

“Speak in your mind,” he said hurriedly. “You have to talk to him in your mind.”

“Wha-”

“Just do it,” he urged, and I turned back to face the raging storm.

Azriel… I whispered.

I watched him flinch, hand bracing on the corner of his bed. His eyes and cheeks were wet with tears when they met mine.

Yn…

Az you have to take this down so I can get to you, I begged, it’s too strong for me to get through let me in.

He went silent.

Az please let me in. I can make the shadows go away, remember? I can make all of this go away, you just have to calm it down enough for me to get to you.

I can’t.

Why?

I am the shadows, and they are me.

“What is he saying?” Rhysand asked.

“He just said he can't tame them, that he is the shadows and they are him,” I shook my head, threading my fingers in my hair. “I can help him but I can’t get to him.”

“Do you trust me?” he asked, eyes wary.

“With my life, High Lord,” I said, because it was true.

He grabbed my hand and the familiar hollowness of winnowing encased me. He tried to drop me right next to Az, but it seemed to be warded. I was instantly flung away from him and hit the wall so hard I saw stars. Feyre came to my side immediately as the bright light in the hallway dimmed.

I forced myself up and boiled with rage. How dare he, my mate, keep me from him. I trudged forward, a small limp to my gate but I kept on pressing, despite the protests from behind me. I came to the whirling wind and shadow, staring at it.

I placed my palm against it and closed my eyes.

I know this is you, shadowsinger. These shadows, this wall… but it is not Azriel, not my mate. He would never keep me away. He’d want me right next to him, holding him as we weather this storm together. I know you are one in the same, and I know I make you go away and you are angry. He is the shadows, and you are him. I am his mate, meaning he is a part of me. I am the sun that casts the shadows you need. I am the maker of your shadows. Without one there cannot be another, without my mate there is no one to harness your strength. Let me in, let me cast the sunshine so that your shadows may sing once again.

There was almost a noise of discontent before the roar in my ear withered away. It disbanded like fog in the early spring mornings. The wind and shadows misted away, the room and hallway no longer swirling in a veil of darkness.

In the center of the room shook Azriel, arms trembling as he looked around at the sudden brightness.

I didn’t know I even gave my feet permission to move until I was collapsing into his lap. I hiccuped a sob so hard I thought my lungs burst open.

Azriel buried his face into my neck, breath just as ragged. I cried uncontrollably, crushing him with my arms, I’m sure.

I felt warmth and tenderness encase my body. I felt a tap against my shields and I let them down, welcoming Az’s shadows without a second thought. His thoughts became mine, and vice versa. There wasn’t a part of us in that moment that wasn’t connected. Our minds, our hearts, our souls seemed to tangle in each other.

It must’ve been a long while before we detangled because everyone had left.

I, begrudgingly, pulled myself from him, sitting up to look at his tear stained face.

“Don’t you dare do something like that ever again,” I breathed, resting my forehead against his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be that harsh with Cassian-”

“What?” I asked, brows knitting together. “No no no, not that, whatever the hell that shadow wall was.”

“You’re not mad at me for beating the shit out of Cassian?” He asked, equally as confused.

“Well,” I sighed. “I’m not happy about it, but for the love of the Mother if you ever shut me out like that again, when I break through, I will kill you.”

It was a promise so deep even he knew it was true. He just nodded, kissing both of my cheeks before my lips.

“I’m sorry, Yn,” a tear trickled down my face. “I saw Cassian choking you and on top of you and it blinded me with a rage so unexplainable. I don’t even remember doing it. It was an afterthought by the time I came out of it. And you looked so infuriated at me I just- I panicked. It had been so quiet for a good while it was like I forgot about the shadows entirely and they took over my being. It was so foreign and strange and they rained down upon me with such vengeance-”

“I know, I know,” I said, combing his hair with my fingers. “We… had a talk. We came to an agreement.”

“Agreement? A bargain?” he asked, a little concerned.

I shook my head, “no, not a bargain. We just saw eye to eye on things. A favor, I guess you could call it.” I let the words I had once spoken filter into his mind. Azriel had this starry look in his eyes when the words were over with.

“You talked to the shadows…” he said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lip. “H-How did you-”

“Rhys tried to winnow me to you but it must’ve been warded because the next thing that I knew was the wall against my back,” I hissed as his hands crept up my shoulder. His touch was featherlight as he examined, lifting up my shirt to reveal the bruises forming along my spine.

“Yn… Yn I am so sorry I hurt you…” his eyes feel so dark, I worried for a second that another tempest was coming.

“No, Azriel look at me,” I grabbed his face between my hands and made him look up at me. “This was not your fault. You and the shadows are not the same thing. You two, like I said, may share the same being, but you are not your shadows. You are Azriel, my Azriel.”

The color came back to his eyes almost instantly. There was a new set of tears in his face as he landed on my chest, arms tightening around my waist.

“Thank you, Yn… for seeing me, not just the shadows.”

#ally writes #praying that the tags will bring me some traction #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #acowar #acotar fandom #a court of thorns and roses #sjm #rhysand #cassian acotar #feyre archeron #writing #writeblr

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fatuismooches · 8 months

Note

greetings!!! this is the first time i've ever shared my idea to anyone, kind of worry but guess that i have to share it with you because your writings are so good and i love how you execute scenarios and ideas (literally awake all night scrolling through your brainrot 😭😭😭😭)

let me tell you that fragile!reader and dottore is what keeps me awake at night i love them so much, i literally read everything in the tags, the fluff and angst is SOO GOOD NGL.

so, angst/ no comfort (because i love tormenting myself (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆), fragile!reader and terminal lucidity - somebody suddenly became lively and conscious before their deaths. i see that you have written about fragile!reader whose memories are slowly deteriorating or slowly losing their eyesight. imagine one day, everything just come back...normal, the sudden recollection of memories, vision returned miraculously, no pain, no suffering, as if they were back to the days at Akademiya. they became gleeful, happy, full of live, no longer the gloomy, sick-ridden individual.

Dottore, of course, was surprised at this phenomenal, run more tests and check-ups just to be sure that we are actually healthy because there is no way we actually turn healthy after being sick in centuries. the segments however, especially Zandy, didn't think much about the whole ordeal. you are fine!! you can finally walking and running freely without being on life-support. your turn in health manage to turned them into a bunch of joyful, blue-haired maniacs with giddy, happy smiles on their lips.

we are fine for a few weeks, which also make Dottore himself believe that maybe, maybe his efforts have paid off, maybe our health have been stable, and maybe from now on, he could spend the rest of eternity with his beloved.

then we die (this is so mean i'm so sorry 😭😭😭😭😭). how they perish is completely up you but i'd preferably that they die in their sleep, a peaceful death. Dottore and the segments are... well, shocked is an understatement, their whole world have...gone, they'd question themself: how can this happen? you were fine in the past few weeks? In which Dottore blame himself the most, he shouldn't have believed that we were fine, he should have run more test, he should have been more cautious about the whole situation but now he completely felt... helpless, for the first time in millions of years. the only person who went thick and thin, the person that can tolerate him in the Akademiya days and the person that he can tolerate now have passed away.

(the ending is kind if short because idk what else to say since my vocabulary and grammar is rather limited. i hope this would be sufficient 😭😭😭😭😭 also looking forward on how you react to this. for now i'll just cry myself to sleep with this scenario while waiting for your work ❤️🥰)

- 🪷

It would come out of nowhere, no one expected it, no one believed it in the beginning. After all, over four hundred years of debilitating illness makes it hard for anyone to believe something good finally happened. But it does, when you first wake up you can feel that something is different - you definitely do some test runs in your room, picking up objects that were once too heavy for you, simple actions that no longer left you tired, no more aches or pains, it was marvelous. So obviously with your newfound energy, you sprint out to find anyone, hell even a random agent would do, because you're finally free. (You can already hear the voices of the segments - no running in the lab because of the very obvious dangers.)

Naturally, Dottore is very skeptical of this, yes, he does not trust how his heart beats at the sight of your glowing self putting on a little performance for him to show how healthy you are now, he can't bring himself to. He's witnessed how low you could become from the worst stages of your sickness, so although he's more than happy to see you well, the possibility of you falling back into such a state is very high. However he cannot find anything, and you don't show any visible signs either. Even so, he still watches you very closely. It's a feeling that always nags, one that may always nag him perhaps, the thought of you becoming worse. But he's not going to damper your mood with his thoughts, you should enjoy this.

Dottore and the segments would still scold you for your recklessness but realize that you are no longer sick and frail and they no longer have to fuss over your health. It's a very strange sensation that's hard to break out of since they've been doing it for so long. But it's good! You're happy! You're strong! You're the [Name] that was buried away, come to rise to the surface once more. Let's just say Zandy very much enjoys the piggyback rides. The checkups still persist as a general measure, but they always go smoothly. It seems there's nothing to worry about.

You would want to assume your role of his assistant once again right away - it's something you've been longing for, to be able to be useful to your lover just like how you once were. To live those days of banter and sharing fascinating knowledge and listening to each other's ideas once more. And so you do, Dottore's more than happy to let you, oh how he's missed you by his side so often. He's excited, he's ready to put the past four hundred years behind and move on, his mind already racing with the countless possibilities that have opened up now. Unfortunately, they don't come to fruition.

Perhaps you felt something wasn't right but it was already far too late - on the day of your death you acted like everything was normal, carrying out your new duties, but also with a lot of added affection, visiting each segment and Dottore and kissing them with all your love. They don't think much of it, you're usually affectionate like that. If only they knew that would be the last time they were embraced by you. Little Zandy too - it would be the last time you ever hugged him and listened to you read him a story. He'd be absolutely inconsolable after your death.

With you gone, the spark in his life would be gone. It would be the same routine of his duties and experiments and research, with nothing to ease his tension. Sure, he no longer has to spend lots of time finding a cure or producing medicine, but this wasn't the way he wanted it to happen. It's the same as when you were sleeping, except this time he no longer has the anticipation of you eventually waking up. Or does he?

Resurrection is a forbidden art, but he is Il Dottore, the one who has no problem sinking his hands into what should not be done, and he is Zandik, the one who loves you. If this world wants you gone so badly, then so be it. He will simply reach for your hand and pull you back to him every time, because even if it is lifeless, he will make sure it's warm once again.

#smooches talks #🪷 anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.. HELLO...#NO ONE SPEAK TO ME 💔💔💔🙏🙏#fragile reader/dottore angst has been BANNED #AND U ANON.... grrr... biting u in revenge and thanks for this brainrot #PLS SHARE MORE OF UR IDEAS ITS TOP TIER #thank u for ur kind words too... BUT GO TO SLEEP 💗💗💗

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wexhappyxfew · 2 months

Note

Paulina and Hambone 😭🙌

I need them 🙏

PAULI AND HAMBONE ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME!!!!!!! (you don't understand ive been itching to write them and just haven't had time and now i feel the need to write them so HERE IS A SNIPPET!!!!!!)

(i think we all need a little more howard 'hambone' hamilton in our lives, right?)

"What's that?" Hambone asked, nodding to the letter in her hand. Albeit, the letter was in fact more of a statement - a broad generalization, a solid 'goodbye', a 'no longer want to be seen with you', a rather heartfelt and truthful 'we're through'. She didn't know how else to put it, but it certainly was something she felt ready to discuss with someone quite yet - even the Silver Bullets crew - especially someone, like Hambone, that she'd just met. It was humiliating enough that she still was holding onto this letter like she was going back to home, to him, after all this. "Uh…." Paulina started, staring at the letter 'Dear Pauli' - still with that stupid nickname she'd asked him to quit calling her. That was reserved for her parents - not him. Especially not him. Especially now, after wanting to break this off. After everything. "A letter." she supplemented, folding it quickly between her calloused fingers, ignoring the bubble of emotion inside her as she looked upwards at Hambone again, sticking the crumpled letter in her pocket and smiling. Picking up her drink she nodded, took back a sip and sighed. "Not the best type of letter." she offered, watching his gaze as he carefully seemed to watch her back, "But. A letter. Can't complain." Hambone continued to sit there quietly for a moment, the ruckus and loud-mouthed cackles behind them mixing with the hum of music and glass clinks. It almost felt comical. None of the men owed the women anything - Birdie had told them she'd learned that the hard way. But going out of their way to bridge the gap? Paulina looked at Hambone again - perfectly gelled and styled hair (enough to match that of Douglass), those golden teeth, that….squirrel on his upper lip he called a mustache. Paulina stopped her train of thought. She'd just met the guy - he was that one Lieutenant's bombardier right? Brady? "I'm sorry," Hambone said quickly with a nod, fingers nervously tapping on the beer glass as he shook his head, shooting a smile on his face, "I shouldn't have asked. First impressions, amiright?" Paulina watched him, the corner of her lip perking upward. Emotion swelled in her thoughts, throughout her mind as she thought of first impressions. Meeting Dean, that first night together, all those promises, those broken words. Sitting in front of a bombardier from the Midwest with whom she'd just met, but almost felt more respected by than the person who had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Swallowing she looked to Hambone again. "No, no, don't worry," she said, waving him off, offering a smile and twiddling her fingers together in her lap, "If you don't mind distracting me, I'd love to hear why you're called Hambone and not Handsome, huh?" Alright, that was pretty bad, but he had a face, that's all she could think. A chuckle escaped Hambone's lips as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs as he sipped his drink, a grin riding his lips as she sat there, smirking. A little bold, a little punchy - if Dean were here she'd rub it in his face - look, a guy can talk to me without sounding like an asshole, is that so hard? "So curious to know, huh?" he asked her, before nodding, "Gotta name?" Paulina watched him, her eyes softening - she felt them soften - and nodded. "Paulina Stagliano. From Philly." she offered, "But my friends call me Pauli."

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kaija-rayne-author · 1 year

Text

I guess the discourse today is about Astarion being the favourite poster boy of the devs to the detriment of the other characters.

Yes. That's unequivocally true. Wyll having so little compared to Astarion is also an example of racism.

It's also capitalism. Larian can't make more games unless BG3 does well. So far it has, so in their choice of poster boy they chose correctly.

Every business, especially entertainment ones, follows a similar model. Develop stories or games that the previous game helped fund. It's common in book publishing too.

(Which, tbf, is my realm of knowledge, but the business facts are the same.)

What you, if you're indie, or the publisher, if not, chooses to spend time on is the thing/character/aspect/story that will sell the most copies so they can stay in business.

They bet on Astarion being popular because:

1. Vampire, vampire stories don't seem to get old. People want more.

2. White hair, if you're at all into gaming or anime, you should recognize the white-haired anime boy coding Astarion has.

3. He's pretty. In games & books like these, people want to get turned on or be sucked into emotions, that's rather the point. So, of course, they made him pretty and gave him an angsty backstory about it. Have you noticed that his vampire fangs are the more traditional style and the rest have funky (and likely more efficient) chompers with the fangs on the front teeth?

4. Twink, you'd have to be really not paying attention to not notice that one. They tend to be attractive to the largest section of players.

6. Slow burn, a lot of people prefer slow burn romance.

7. Classically handsome. You could turn him into a statue (and can!) and he wouldn't look out of place.

I don't experience this type of point form character building, my characters tend to march fully formed into my head and demand I write them.

But Astarion was built as a fictional character that would (hopefully) capture a broad cross-section of players and give the game some more sex appeal.

Sex sells.

I'd lay money I don't have on every aspect of Astarion's character having been a deliberate choice to encourage sales.

And that's fine. That's what capitalism does. Don't like it? Start voting for social support programs and things like ubi so that people can create without worrying about the bills.

Is it fair to the other characters and to the gamers who love other characters more than Astarion? Absolutely not. I do hope Larian gets the message and produces more content to make them all equivocal.

Especially for Wyll, they did him so dirty.

Is Wyll having the least lines and scenes racist? Yup.

Larian, despite their faults, produced something that so few games companies have done recently. A single purchase, single player RPG without micro-transactions that was an excellent game straight from release.

Other games companies are bitching about that because it's like sand in the oyster of their business models.

Which, for a while now, has been to roll out a game that wasn't ready yet and use the players as unpaid, uncompensated labour to find bugs etc. As a gamer, I've really hated that.

Did Larian fuck up? Uh, yeah. On several issues. But they also made an amazing game that was awesome from release.

It would be a shame to lose sight of that.

It's important to call out the shite when we see it, but the current 'it has to be perfect for me, or I won't play' attitude rampant on the 'net these days is disturbing to say the least.

I've read Larian has a feedback thing on fridays. If this really bothers you, hustle on over and participate in the feedback session.

They're still actively working on the game. They can still make changes and they seem reasonably responsive to fan feedback.

But just remember... the reason Astarion is the poster boy with the most content is because of capitalism. It was likely a cold, business focused decision vs anything else.

Which doesn't make it better. I just figured inserting a bit of entertainment business knowledge might be helpful to the discussion.

#bg3 astarion #bg3 #KaiPlaysBG3 #Larian #Larian studios #larian critical #bg3 critical

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flxwrites · 1 year

Text

Freak

Harry x Reader

𝙁𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙣𝙤 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙚

SMUT WARNING

It's Valentine's Day, a joyful and romantic day for many, for others not so much.

But this time you have planned something different to spend the day, a dirty idea came to your mind the night before just when Harry called her to sleep.

"I'm home, petal!" You hear his voice from downstairs.

You take one last look at yourself in the mirror, you're wearing a pretty pink lingerie set, with nice lace details and over that a white dress sheer enough for him to see underneath it.

When you look around the room you sighs with a smile, the champagne rests in the small bucket with ice, there are two glasses on one side next to the bowl of strawberries and on the other a scented candle.

Then you hear your boyfriend's footsteps coming up the stairs, chelsea boots echoing in the hallway until he reaches the bedroom, opening the door slowly.

A smile appears on his face, holding the small cake next to a bouquet of red and white roses.

"What's all this?..." Harry walks towards you.

"Our Valentine's Day date." You reply grabbing your boyfriend by the neck to kiss him slowly. "I thought we could stay home this time and do other things." You mumble against his mouth

"You did all this and I just brought you your favorite cake and a rose." He grimaces.

"I love it." You reply taking both gifts placing them on the dresser.

You turn to see your boyfriend still standing in the middle of the room, probably analyzing your outfit.

"Would you like some champagne?..." You walk over to him grabbing the collar of his shirt as you feel warm hands run down your waist.

"I'd rather know what that little head of yours is thinking." Harry bites his lip lightly.

"Don't you want to find out better, Daddy?" You're being very brave calling him by that nickname.

Normally you're very shy, you usually leave the dirty talk to Harry because you think it's hotter when he does it. You see him raise both eyebrows almost in surprise, you also feel him tighten his grip on your hips slightly.

"Is that what you want?..." His voice gets thick and deeper as he guides you to the bed. "For me to fuck you like the dirty princess you are?"

You are cheeky nodding your head, holding onto Harry’s broad shoulders. Your eyes connect with his, the green turns dark and his jaw seems to tighten.

"Words, Y/N."

"Yes daddy." You sigh.

A victorious smile appears on Harry's face, one where his dimples are present and his lips are curved upward together.

"If that's what you want, then I'm going to give it to you." It's more like a promise than anything else.

He wastes no time in laying you on the bed, the gorgeous white dress riding up a little higher up your thighs exposing a portion of your pink panties. Harry puts his hands on his shirt, slowly unbuttoning button by slow button, watching your reaction carefully. You on the other hand become anxious as you watch him, the tattoos decorating his torso and arms. You always liked to focus on them when everything he gave you was too much to bear.

Finally he's alone in his half-tight black pants, tight enough to see the bulge between his legs.

"What am I going to do with you first, love?..." He asks taking the edges of your underwear and sliding it down your legs.

"Daddy..." You close your eyes feeling Harry's thick, ringed fingers roam up and down your thighs.

"Shh, I'm deciding if I want you to cum on my fingers first or in my mouth."

You have to bite your lip as you hear him speak, plus he's already sticking his tongue out to lick a wide strip that runs from your wet entrance to your clit.

"Oh shit!" you curse as you arch your back and your hand holds your boyfriend's long, curly locks.

"I couldn't help but taste you, bunny. You taste so sweet." He smiles this time as your digits make room between the wet, velvety walls. "Will you be a good girl for me, are you going to cum on my fingers and then on my cock?" Harry is direct as he pumps two of his fingers in and out of your tight cunt.

"Yes Daddy." You gasp grabbing his wrist because you feel like you're going to fall into some kind of void at any moment. "God..."

He enjoys the sight of you, all flushed and whimpering, wiggling your hips in an attempt to ride his fingers, being greedy as only you know how.

"Are you close, kitten?" his voice snaps you out of your trance as he continues his movements.

"So close...daddy, so close" You bite your lip pulling his head back. The feeling invades the pit of your stomach, it becomes a knot that you soon let flow soaking Harry's digits.

He wastes no time tasting you again, licking and tasting the sweet nectar flowing from inside you.

"I'm not done with you. You're going to ride my cock like you did my fingers, love." He mentions once he leaves you alone to recover from your first orgasm. "Do you think you can do it, petal?"

You sigh nodding with your head, slowly opening your eyes to find your boyfriend pulling down his pants along with his underwear. His hardness slams against his stomach leaving a small wet spot on his skin. Harry is already sitting on the bed, right on the edge with his cock ready for you. You waste no time in mounting him feeling every inch of his length inside you.

"You're so big..." You moan grabbing him by the shoulders, you never seem to get used to H's size.

"I know you can take me, come on bunny." He takes you by the hips helping you rock back and forth.

You don't seem to take long to adjust to his length because you close your eyes to start moving greedily, wanting to feel him deep and full.

"I love you..." One of Harry's hands comes down to one of your ass cheeks giving it a spank to motivate you to go faster.

"I love you so much more, precious. Bloody hell if you keep squeezing me like that I won't last long." A growl comes from deep his throat.

When you finally open your eyes to see him, you're about to cry at how perfect he is, his long hair damp with sweat from his body, his lips half-open and his eyes a dark shade of green.

"I don't think I can take it anymore...I'm gonna-"

"Cum for me, Y/N." And that's all you need to get free in a few seconds before H.

You both have your breath hitching and your breasts rising and falling. He soon fills your face with kisses and finishes on your lips.

"Would you like a bath, petal. It's time for me to take care of you." He speaks over your mouth as he delicately caresses the skin of your back .

"Yeah, I’m exhausted." you let out a small laugh.

"I can imagine, I'm going to carry you in my arms. Easy."

One of the best Valentine's Days without a doubt.

This is my first smut so it’s not that good, also if something it’s misspelled, English it’s not my first language so go easy on me🥺

Thank you so much for reading 💕

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harrystyles x reader #harry styles smut #longhairharrysmut

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bluehourbucky · 1 year

Text

by your side

prefamerockstar!bucky x f!reader

summary: the almost breaking point how bucky and you almost broke up

a/n: how I think young rockstar bucky would feel about staying with you before fame and money

main masterlist | bucky masterlist | rockstar bucky

_________________________________________

Bucky is scared. He knew that writing songs wasn't making him money. The shows they did were small ones with barely 20 people, in some shitty bars.

He's 18 and so is his girlfriend, his best friend since they were 8. Bucky wanted to give her the world. Right now, though, you and Bucky are sleeping in a van and occasionally at Steve's.

His parents cut him off not supporting his dream, and yours cut you off for being with him.

Your parents thought he was ruining you and your life by trying to do something he will never achieve. Bucky thought you would've broken up with him by now but you didn't you're still by his side.

You're working two jobs on top of studying at college, which is taking a lot of your energy and time. You say you don't mind, but Bucky isn't sure. He wanted to get a job too, and he did for a while, but that was taking too much time from music,so he quit.

Sarah, Steve's mom was supporting then from day one, she was their first fan. He couldn't be more thankful for her support and warm meals she provided them with. They didn't have much but they shared.

Today Bucky comes home devastated another manager has rejected them and he doesn't know what to do maybe they don't have what it takes.

"Babe! There you are, look at this awesome dinner I got us!" You jump into Buckys' arms and point to the cheap ass pizza from down the street. The truck of the van is open the pizza lays on the old mattress Bucky stole from his parents.

But here you are smiling like you have everything.

"Hey, doll." You crock your head to the side at Buckys dismissed hello.

"What happened, honey?" Bucky grabs your hands from his neck and holds them in front of him.

"We got rejected again."

"Oh. Well it's their loss! Next one will be yours I know it will!" Sometimes he thinks you belive in him more than he does."

"You know you don't have to stay. You can do anything! And not be here in a shitty van eating shitty pizza in a car park where we're hoping not to get kicked out. You could find a good guy who would give you everything." Bucky says sadly avoiding eye contact.

"I know. But you're not getting rid of me that easily. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you. And in the future, when you prove them all wrong, I'll be by your side. So if you're trying to break up with me I'm refusing. No thank you."

The way you sound so sure makes Buckys heart swell with love. He doesn't know what he did to deserve you.

"You can't just refuse a break up." Bucky jokes and kisses you passionately.

"Yes I can! I just did. Now let's eat this wonderful meal!" You pull him into the van and stuff your face with pizza.

Bucky will spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to you.

[the end]

-likes comments and reblogs are appreciated-

asks are open so if you have any questions or feedback send them in!

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky masterlist #sebastian stan characters #bucky barnes x reader #rockstardad!bucky #rockstar!bucky

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5eraphim · 1 year

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Your monster mash au is so cool!! i love when writers go up and beyond n arent afraid to get creative with the canon. Do you have any hcs for how they met their S/O?

i currently have a 3 characters per request limit goin on rn, and i used RNG to pick the characters for this request which wound up being Werewolf Scout (BLU), Satyr Demo (RED) and Bogeyman Spy (BLU) hope thats ok with you! (but i have requests open currently, so if u were hoping to see someone else, here's a link to the monster mash AU. these were pretty fun to write and i'd love to do more!) thank you so much for the request, I hope you enjoy!

Characters: Scout 🐇, Demo 🐏 and Spy 🐍 (Team Fortress 2)

Content Warnings: Yandere, toxic relationship dynamics, possessive behavior, implied sexual relations, somnophilia, reader is gender neutral

Rating: M (MINORS DON'T INTERACT, GO PLAY OUTSIDE)

Word Count: 2.3k

MASTERLIST

TIP JAR

Werewolf Scout (BLU)

Wild, savage, fearsome, and brutal, Scout is the living embodiment of what a proper wolf ought to be. Once the runt of the litter transformed through sheer determination and force of will, Scout would do anything to maintain his position as the leader of the pack.

All his life, Scout's possessed the primal need to be accepted as well as applauded by others by other wolves as well as by other mortals and monsters desperate to convince himself it will somehow be enough to purchase the childhood trauma of being known to all as the weakest of the family.

Consider Scout falling for a friend from childhood who hasn't seen him since his days as a weakling, only to move away and disappear for years and years and return to see a radically different Scout, practically the opposite of what he once was.

Scout always had a soft spot for you but never had the nerve to confess his feelings to you before on account of his certainty you would reject him, as well as generally being much less assured of himself when he was a child. But to meet up with you again now that he's stronger and more dominant than before, it's like getting a second chance too good to be true. If he were to let you go again, he knows he'd never forgive himself.

Initially, Scout's ready to start making moves on you without hesitation. There's no way you'd forget about him or all the time spent together, and he believes with all his heart that just seeing the man he's become would be enough to convince you to start an entirely new life together. And when you inevitably refuse such an outlandish proposition, Scout's left heartbroken, confused, and unable to control his jealousy and wrath.

But he knows if he really wants to impress you to prove he's worthy of becoming your mate, Scout knows who needs to do something drastic to get your attention. Nothing less than taking the life of another in a bloody brawl, where only one will live to see the end of the fight. But not just anyone. It must be someone close to you, so when you see as a protector. Surely, if he were to kill someone close to you, you'd have no choice but to accept him as your lover, your guardian, you're everything.

Scout's never been one for subtlety; he doesn't care if taking you as his lover by force leaves you terrified and resentful. As a leader of the pack, it's his responsibility to handle tough choices like this and watch out for the well-being of the rest. Whether or not you wanted to join in the first place hardly matters to Scout. He did what he had to, and you're his living reward

Satyr Demo (Red)

Like almost all the monsters in the monster mash AU, satyr Demo never really imagined himself with the idea of a single "true love" kind of partner, though not for the same reason as the others. While many of the other monsters view themselves at odds with humanity and, by extension, incompatible with the notion of human monogamous romances. Demo, on the other hand, is more hung up on the monogamous part of these relationships rather than the human part.

Satyr Demo is seldom alone, spending his days leisurely indulging his desires for sex, wines, feasting, partying, and whatever other whims cross his mind. In a realm populated by other satyrs, nymphs, centers, naiads, primordial gods, titans, and other similar creatures in a utopia beyond human perception.

Despite his physically off-putting appearance, drawing in mortals has never been an issue for creatures like Demo. Humans are such easy prey, with fragile minds so easily swayed by temptation and eyes so easy to deceive. All it takes for Demo to get in bed with another mortal is to share a bit of wine of the gods and to only appear late at night, using the cover of darkness to his advantage to hide his inhuman appearance. And the look on the mortal's face after realizing they've given into the ethereal temptation or hypnosis and made love to a half-goat creature is priceless to Demo.

In Demo's leisurely existence, life is nothing but an endless buffet of lovers; to limit himself to one monogamous relationship forever would be self-cruelty. The idea of a mortal retaliating against him for his treatment of them never even crossed his mind, but the day that happens if his entire world shifts.

Consider yourself a mortal living in the world near Demo's realm, where mortals are endlessly tormented and played with by gods and supernatural creatures like pawns. While you can do nothing but keep your head down and try not to invoke their ethereal wrath.

Imagine yourself in a situation where a close family member of yours has just been lured by Demo. Her chastity broken, and left in a compromising position in the woods. What little garments she has left desecrated with his seed, the goat hair left around the scene of the crime, making it obvious to all around town who was the culprit. With her reputation ruined and her family disgraced, she goes catatonic. Unable to leave her own bed, practically dead to the world, unable to cope with the suffering and shame of living as one of Demo's conquests.

Her despondence fuels within you an anger you kept bottled up all your life. You could no longer live in a world where mortals were used and discarded at the discretion of the supernatural creatures. You were willing to do whatever it took to fight back, to get even a fraction of justice for all the harm they'd caused.

Against the wishes of your loved ones, you sought the help of an ostracized spinster at the edge of the town, said to know the ways of witchcraft, and willing to make bargains with mortals for supernatural favors so long as they were willing to pay the price for it.

You came to her asking if there was some way to bind the sexual appetite of the monster who hurt your loved one beyond repair, offering her the still-desecrated clothing of your loved one, knowing some trace of the beast was likely necessary to enact the hex. You wanted to end his predation of the mortals of your town no matter the cost, even if that meant invoking dark magic to do so. Offering as payment everything of value owned put the clothes on your back. While you didn't have much, the old witch smiled, assuring you this was all payment enough and that the prospect of attempting such a powerful curse was enough of an incentive, though she accepted your belongings all the same, asking again if you were really willing to do anything to put an end to Demo's reign of terror. And without a second thought, you replied yes.

The witch held up her end of the bargain, binding Demo's lust and desire, but what she didn't tell you was the actual cost of finding one's heart to perform her ritual, specifically requiring a willing volunteer to bind Demo's lust to. She needed a token of a physical object of significance from the bound one and from another, which you offered as unknowingly as payment to bind in the victim's desires to.

The night you meddled in the affairs of the supernatural, you unknowingly offered up your own soul to the witch, which she bonded with Demo's successfully. And from that night on, cursing you to bear the burden of all Demo's desire.

Demo awoke the following day with a hole in his heart and a mind-numbing need to find another lover in the mortal realm, but not in a way he'd ever felt before. Demo felt like someone was waiting for him, someone he needed to find desperately but had no idea who it could be. In a town as small as yours, it was only a matter of time until you were discovered. And the moment he set his eyes on you, he knew it had to be you.

In the following days, you had to come to your own realization of what it meant to bind someone's heart. To understand it wasn't a hex to do no harm but to force one person alone to endure the entire weight of his desire.

Living as Demo's' sole lover was a paradise, but not from your perspective. Bestowed with eternal youth, food of the gods, orgiastic dances with supernatural creatures, the suffering of humanity far away, and the undying devotion of a god. You had no choice but to comply.

You were given all you could ask for so long as you never long to stray from Demo's side, or god forbid, ever asked to go home.

Bogeyman Spy (BLU)

No one knows the meaning of need like Spy. He's watched the rise and fall of empires, the brutality of war, and the skirmishes between mortal and the supernatural. The only thing he's never found was another creature like himself.

As long as Spy's walked the Earth, and for as long as he's interacted with humans, he's known nothing but hunger for human fear and pain, seeing them as merely a food source.

This life of isolation and callousness is all he's ever known. Perhaps existence is a lonely one, but Spy fails to see the value in a human emotional connection. He never had a heart to hold.

But just because he doesn't believe he has a heart doesn't mean one never existed at all. Despite his years upon years of emotional repression, he too yearns to be understood and cared for like the mortals he claims such dominion over. Still, he refuses to admit it to himself.

He may be immortal, but despite what he would like to believe, Spy is no god. And he was just as susceptible to the strings of fate as any other, and it was only a matter of time before the gods fated his heartstrings to be pulled by another ordinary mortal, the last kind of person Spy would've ever expected to foster sympathy for.

He couldn't even comprehend what was happening the night that finally happened.

It was just another night like any other Spy approaching you while you slept soundly, the optimal time to put you into a deep nightmare. But something about the sight of you, a vision of tranquility made beautiful by the moonlight and mysterious by dark shadows, he couldn't help but hesitate to disturb you.

Nevertheless, Spy was prepared to do what he must to get his nightly fix, but before he could enter your dreams, Spy realized your psyche was already charged with sexual energy, the sign of a dream already in progress. Nothing he hadn't seen before, but in the moment, he was paralyzed and entirely captivated.

More cautiously than ever before, he dared take a taste of the energy flowing through you, and after just one sampling, he was hooked.

Hours stretch on, but Spy can't bring himself to leave your bedside, watching your energy waxing and waning as you fall in and out of a state of deep slumber. Before he realizes it, daylight comes, forcing him to concede he's out of time.

Deep within, Spy feels a different kind of hunger awakening, but something more complex, more akin to a yearning. A hunger that cannot be satisfied with a full stomach.

For the following few days, he couldn't bring himself to feed as he normally would. His hunger was there, as it always was, and he could feel the pain of an empty stomach but couldn't work up an appetite for anything but you.

By day three, he could stay away from you no longer and caved to the desire to feed, finding himself back at your bedside, his hunger for you as strong as ever.

He will try to convince himself he's better off without you, lying to himself that it's only a matter of time before his obsession fades and what he feels now won't last. After all, you were only a mortal, though it's impossible to ignore the instant panic he feels thinking of you passing away. Not only because this would mean the end of you as a food source but as that pesky yearning perks up, and he can't help but fear you dying before he could properly commune with you.

Being an immortal shapeshifter with immense psychic power meant Spy had more than a few friends in high places, powerful and indebted friends.

It isn't long until he strikes a bargain with a powerful witch, granting you immortality as well as keeping you in a perpetual deep slumber, forcing you to become Spy's own personal little sleeping beauty. Eternally preserved just for him, keeping you alive by nourishing your spirit with safety and fear.

While in this state, it isn't long until the confusion sets in. You feel alone, have no idea where you are, and can't shake the feeling of being watched. You feel like you're trapped in a cage, a comfortable one, but a cage you can't escape from. Stuck in a dream you can awaken from.

Spy knows he could awaken you at any moment and might even understand some level he will have to eventually, but he still intends to keep it like this as long as he can. He's too addicted to the high of his hunger, finally satiated, and too sullen to bring himself to truly meet you in the real world. For the time being, he's content flirting with you in the dream world, stalking from shadows, always watching it, keeping just a step out of reach.

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nkn0va · 4 months

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Let out a lil (manly) scream when I saw requests were open lol. Could I please get general relationship headcanons for Nine? I really enjoy your characterization of her, and so far out of the (admittedly like 3) blazblue writers ive seen you do her best. Thanks a lot man.

I could've fucking sworn I already did this. Guess not. Other two writers I'm assuming are @your-phantomfield and dopp before their old blog got deleted.

Speaking of phantomfield's writing though, I'd rather not have my HCs come off as just a carbon copy of their Nine post, so as opposed to writing Nine in the CF era, this will instead be for Nine post Dark War and before she got yeeted into the abyss. I'll try not to make it sad like I did with the Ragna post. This will unfortunately be shorter than the rest of my single character posts because I'm exhausted.

(Also sorry for not posting so much lately I've been finally trying to get good at UNI2 in my off time and my edgy ass was forced to pick Seth as one of my mains. Fuck TK dragonfist inputs.)

-It's...going to be a while before Nine is comfortable with intimacy in any capacity. She's spent so much of her life fighting now that she always has her guard up out of habit.

-It's a long road to the lowkey recovery from the trauma of a decade long war against a giant, world-ending, radioactive hydra, though once she does feel comfortable around you, her passion will burn as hot as her magic.

-It's not easy to get close to her, but those who manage it are in for life. She's quite overprotective of you not entirely unlike she is with Celica regardless of how good of a fighter you are. It's just in her nature.

-She is not one to shy away from PDA. She doesn't go out of her way to do it necessarily but if she just so happens to be in a doting mood she will not care who sees it. If anyone tries to reprimand her for it they will promptly be shut up with a glare from Nine as her hand lights on fire.

-Nine's family and friends are more important to her than anything else. She wants nothing more than for you all to get along, which considering who they are should be simple enough.

-Unfortunately get-togethers with everyone can't really happen considering how busy everyone is, especially her. Whenever the two of you finally can spend some time together she learns to treasure it.

-Of course this naturally soon escalates into the want to have a kid, especially after you get married. Your honeymoon is spent in bed for the most part...

-Nine is surprisingly traditional in her love/family values. She wants the idealistic happy ending that most people dream of. Get married, settle down, have a child, or children if the both of you feel so inclined. It's way more wholesome than initially expected from someone like her but it's certainly not unwelcome.

#blazblue x reader #nine the phantom #headcanon #relationship headcanons #x reader #anon ask

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graceful-not · 9 months

Text

Uhh a response to @ccbcrazy 's video on Conya except it got too long and I put too much effort into it to just make it a reblog. So uh. VERY LONG rambling about why my feelings on Conya are complicated that somehow managed to have way too much Jay in it. why does he keep sneaking in here goddamnit.

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL YEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! THE SILLIES EVER!!!! I love the way you organized the bullet points! Made everything very easy to follow (other than all the times the audio cut out RIP 💀) but. yeah . yeah them. they are sooooo. SO! UAUAUUA.

I agree with most of your points (and relate very very much w/ that bit about being ace and the Love At First Sight trope, though I'm aro and not ace), and ESPECIALLY with how Skybound handled everything (I could say so much about how much I hate despise the way they resolved Jaya in Skybound it's so icky I hate it I hate it I hate it I HATE IT), but I don't really have much to add to them, so I'll here are my random disjointed thoughts that sometimes and sometimes do not align with yours:

at some points, the emphasis on how it's something guilty and forbidden and how she "wants him but she can't have him", to quote that one Cole fangirl. It.. sat weirdly with me? As well as the phrasing of "the narrative wants him to be self-sacrificing", when talking about Cole on one of the slides. It feels weird to phrase it like that, as if the narrative is pushing him into that role rather than it being part of who he is, y'know? And the reason that the "yearning for what you know you can't have" aspect felt strange to me was that Cole putting friendship over his romantic relationships is a VERY significant thing about him for me. He values his friendships and family over any kind of romance, and would rather forfeit a potential romance than lose a friend, even if that friend hurt him. Which felt weird when the rest of the slideshow made it clear that you, like me, enjoy Conya because above all else, Cole loves Nya as a comrade and an equal. As a friend, before and even IF he loves her as anything else, which as you point out, isn't something we can definitively say about the other relationships (especially Jaya. I like it, I really do, and I'd say I think I like it more than Conya? but it's. it's VERY complicated and messy and they aren't really stable like. At All. for a while.)

And that part of Cole resonated with me a lot; the part that's perfectly fine not pursuing Nya because he doesn't NEED that connection like Jay does, because he's satisfied and content with where he is in their relationship now, after they both calm down and he realizes it isn't worth it, because it isn't even something he wants all THAT much. (The larger issue is that Jay was against him spending time with her at ALL, even as friends, because he was being possessive and insecure which is a whole host of other things-)

And actually? Y'know what? I'm gonna talk about Jay for a bit bc I feel like, though you did have a few slides on it and touch on it, you didn't really talk about how Jay is a very fundamental aspect of Conya's dynamic in-canon, as Nya's Yang and Cole's best friend (A title which he bestowes upon himself, I might add.) Jay is... Not Very Secure In His Relationships for the first few seasons. It stems from feeling inferior and weak compared to everyone else, which grows into clinginess and possessiveness for the ones that DO choose him, because he's afraid they'll leave, which in turn pushes them away because he's being Weird About It. He has this habit of... sorting those closest to him into neat little boxes that reassure him (Nya as his girlfriend who loves him and finds him funny and won't leave him and Cole as his best friend who's loyal and supportive and also won't ever leave him, and, as you'll note, he's the one that starts both of these, with asking Nya out and proclaiming Cole as his bestie during Skybound.) And when those people step out of those boxes, the change unsettles him, and he panics and doubles down on his tactics, sometimes even resorting to violence (which makes things worse and pushes them away more and... you get it. it's a whole cycle.) So.. Nya and Cole and their interactions are very defined by What Jay Will Let Them Do, for the first few seasons. What won't set him off, what is Good and Innocent and won't make him insecure. S1-7 Jay would NOT have let the hand nuzzle happen. But I believe S8-15 Jay WOULD. Because he's actually secure in his relationship with Nya and they trust each other, and he trusts Cole, etc. etc.

And I feel like them having an undercurrent of romantic tension kind of spits in the face of that?? I dunno. It makes the intention a little wobbly. I like the idea that it comes from a place of camaraderie, where platonic love can also be deep and intimate and layered, and not just repressed romantic feelings. Because the thought that either of them are just pining and never having that resolved makes me sad for all three of them :(.

But I DO like to think that Cole is a little bit madly in love with all of his friends in different ways (just like me fr..) and Nya's the one he latched onto back in S3 because she's a girl and heteronormativity. Cole has a lot of love in his heart ok and he cares about them very very much 🥹. And he loves and supports them and maybe he wants to kiss some or all of them but he can't do that so he's fine where he is. really he is. he's fine. HES FINE!!! he's okay when she puts a hand on his shoulder and he doesn't know how to express that he loves her so so so much and he missed her but not in the way that Jay loves her, in a different way, but he feels like it's just as important but Jay obviously didn't see it that way and he doesn't know if he does now, and how he loves them all different but so so strongly and how can she and Jay even make it so simple it's so EASY for them to wear the Yin/Yang relationship label it just FITS even though none of those relationships are alike how can the same label work when the love is obviously so different and he doesn't know if Nya even could understand that, understand how much his heart bursts with affection and fondness for her and the others, but she DOES she DOES get how you can love someone so much that there maybe aren't correct words for it, that's why Jay was the one to propose because she was just happy the way they were, and she's happy the way they are now and she's happy the way she and Cole are now except she can't be because they keep getting TORN APART and they can't ever really be happy because they're all always in danger ALL THE TIMe- sorry got carried away aha.

but yeah. And then Jay is there. and i can't let myself think Abt Conya too long because I get really sad about him. bc he's not LIKE THAT. He doesn't Get It like they (and I haha was it clear I am maybe projecting) do. The labels are comforting to him, rather than unneeded or even restricting in the way they could never encompass the full force of the feelings. They're like signifiers that the love is real, is there, is Official, which isn't something the others need because they already take the loving as a fact and a given, and Jay doesn't! He doubts his relationships and needs the reassurance of the labels, to be able to say, definitively, "This is my Yang, which means we love eachother romantically and complete eachother and are missing a piece without eachother and" (do you see where the problem is. The proposal scene was so cute but I think about his little rambly speech a little too much BUDDY WITH ANY OTHER PERSON ITD BE CUTE BUT WITH YOU AND YOUR TRACK RECORD ITS CONCERNING) But that also means that when the "rules" are broken he thinks it means the love is also broken because now the label has been dismantled and that's! NOT TRUE!!! AHH!!!!!!!! I truly think he would be cured if he made out with someone other than Nya (w/ her permission obv) for like ten seconds but he would literally never do that. but it would fix him I know this in my heart if Nya told him to go out and get some bitches he would be cured of All of His Complexes he would experience Enlightenment through the knowledge that he could do that and his relationship with Nya would still be valid and their feelings wouldn't change just because he did it and he would ALSO get to kiss someone about it. Literally win-win. Maybe it could even be Cole. this is how mudshock shippers stay winning.

And THATS always been my biggest issue with Conya. They never know what to do with Jay. Because if he found out Nya doesn't love him and is IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND he would literally never recover all of his self worth issues that he overcame down the fucking drain bitch!! because everything bad he thought about himself has been proven true! AND THE REASON HE ACTS LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST FEW SEASONS IS BC THATS EXACTLY WHAT HES TERRIFIED OF HAPPENING!! And because he's so insecure and also has so much amatonormativity entrenched within him because the rules and restrictions reassure him, he's diametrically opposed to Conya! so I can't let myself have a Conya AU without Jay unpacking all of that and being Okay with people experiencing love differently, and then maybe realizing he doesn't have to love so restrictively anymore either, and THEN Conya can be whatever the fuck is going on with them in peace. Or he finds out Nya is in love with Cole and almost loses his shit before they both tell him they are also still in love with him. And he's like "oh thank God wait Cole ur in love with me" and that would fix him. Imagine thinking you're literally the worst and then you pull both Nya AND Cole while actively being kind of a jerk to them. how do you have the self worth issues after that shdbsjdb.

anyway go watch the video 👍

#ninjago #conya #jaya #mudshock #cole brookstone #nya jiang #nya smith #jay walker #the reason i dont talk a lot about Nya's POV is because it would be mostly about Skybound and that wasnt really relevant to anything else I #was talking about here. but i have sooo many thoughts about Nya and skybound and how she views relationships and commitment so.#if people want a part 2 to this weird rambly post??#bruiseshipping #←technically #tldr of this entire post is uhh. Aro Cole real??? Conya QPR real???? idk man #mudshockshipping

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floating-mid-air · 2 years

Text

The Princess of all Saiyans

Masterlist

Two months in a row with new chapters! New year, new me! I don't know how long this will last, but I'm going to ride the high for now. Tbh, I was really struggling with this chapter. I rewrote it so many times. But I think I like how everything turned out! As always, DM's/Comments are always open if you have any comments, questions, or concerns. I always love to hear your kind words and feedback!

Also, I'ma apologize for what I've done in advance.

Chapter 15

You soar through the air, the wind smacking against your face as you head straight for the ship. You'd rather be on the battlefield, but instead, you're fleeing like one of Frieza's cowardly soldiers. Stupid Vegeta. Always barking orders at you. He thinks he can boss you around like an underling. You've proven to be more than capable over the years, and yet Vegeta still treats you like a child. It's demeaning. And to make matters worse, Vegeta made you leave, but not only does Raditz get to stay, but those pathetic earthlings do too. Talk about adding insult to injury.

You finally arrive at the ship, landing gracefully on the terrain. You sigh dramatically, keeping your eyes fixated on the aircraft. At least after today, you'll never have to see one of these crappy ships ever again. You'll be free of the Frieza Force's terror. Though you're unsure if it'll be you in hell or Frieza. All you know is one of you is being sent on a first-class trip to eternal damnation. You take one last deep breath before heading into the ship.

On impulse, you walk straight into the room with the healing chamber. Your stone-cold gaze lands on Goku, who's still taking his sweet-ass time healing. "Ya, ya. Don't look so happy to see me." You snarl, placing your hands on your hips. "I'm not here by choice." You step closer to the chamber, sliding down against the machine. You rest your head against the cool metal, shutting your eyes. "You know, you're lucky, Kakarot. You didn't have to grow up with your pain in the ass, older brother. You didn't even have to deal with being bossed around past infancy. And you don't even remember it at all."

It takes you a while, but you eventually grow accustomed to the faint buzzing of the machine. Finally, being able to relax, well, relax as much as you can, considering your current situation. That is, until the ground starts violently shaking. Your eyes snap open as you place your hands against the floor, steadying yourself. Various objects fly off the shelves, scattering across the room. Luckily nothing damaged the healing chamber. What the hell is going on out there? You shift your focus to the direction of the battle. Frieza's energy has spiked drastically. He must have undergone one of his transformations. You know he has multiple forms, though you've never seen him transform with your own eyes. They must be giving him a harder time than you thought. Wait. There's another power level there. You were so focused on Frieza that you hadn't even noticed the new arrival. That must be the Namekian. Better late than never, you suppose. Wait, no. That's Kakarot's motto.

Your surroundings finally calm down. Frieza must be done transforming. "Frieza really does like flexing his power." You sigh. That smug bastard. You wonder if he had to transform to destroy planet Vegeta. Probably not. "I wish you remembered our homeworld. You were there long enough to at least form some basic memories. The Saiyan race was something else entirely. Life on planet Vegeta was constant destruction--- it was glorious." You grin, chuckling to yourself. "You would've hated it, Kakarot. But--- I'd give anything just to spend one more day on planet Vegeta."

You shut your eyes again, retreating into the one place you can avoid Frieza, your mind. At least, you thought you could, but even in your mind, it seems like you can't avoid Frieza or the havoc he's caused. Frieza's been this catalyst in your life, a constant sign of misery. Childhood monsters aren't supposed to be real. The monster under the bed is simply the result of an overactive imagination. But your monster is very real. Your monster took away your home, slaughtered your entire race, and then forced you to serve him. You can't seem to escape your monster, no matter how much you try.

Twenty-Something Years Ago:

"Where the hell are we going?" You shout at Cui for the millionth time. Frieza's lackeys put you and Raditz on this ship hours ago with absolutely no explanation. When you first arrived at your previous location, you wanted nothing more than to leave that prison. But now you're free from that hell hole, and you can't ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach. You don't like this. You don't like this at all.

"Then come over here, and try. I dare you!" You growl back.

"Shut your mouth, brat. Before I shut it for you!" Cui's all bark and no bite. You'd love to see him try. You could probably take Cui even before your training with Lord Frieza.

"Listen here----" Cui's screaming is cut off once he notices Zarbon poking his head into the room.

"Cui!" Zarbon's voice booms. "Stop instigating her!"

"Me? She's the one who started it!"

"She's a child." Zarbon pinches the bridge of his nose, an annoyed look crossing his features. "You're a grown man. Act like it." And with that, Zarbon once again leaves you and Raditz alone with Cui. Definitely a big mistake on Zarbon's part.

"Ya, act like it." You mock Cui as Raditz laughs hysterically.

"You're lucky I don't strangle you!" Cui is really getting worked up. Some anger management classes could do wonders for him.

"Oh, no." You hold up your hands. "I'm shaking."

"Why, you little---" Cui snarls as he stands up from his seat. But rather than storming towards you, he stomps towards the door, going out into the hall. "Someone switch jobs with me! I can't take this hell anymore! I'll even do grunt work to get away from those brats!"

"Wow." You turn to Raditz, who's mirroring your pleased expression. "I didn't think he would snap that fast."

Frieza's buffoons decide to leave you and Raditz alone for the duration of the trip. You wish you knew where they were taking you. You thought nothing could be worse than the prison they just had you in, but now you're not so sure. It's been a long---- year? Has it only been a year? It feels like it's been much longer. You feel like you've aged twenty years in only one.

The ship suddenly comes to a halt. There has to be some way to find out where you are before those clowns come to get you. Your gaze darts all over the room. No, nothing ---- wait. Bingo! There's a window, but it's a bit high up. You'd have to fly to reach it, but you don't want to attract any unwanted attention. Flying would raise your power level, and a scouter would definitely pick that up.

"Raditz, give me a boost." He raises his brows before ultimately complying. "Move over to that window." He struggles, staggering a bit. But he's able to get you to the window. You press your face against the glass, boxing your face in with your hands.

"What do you see?"

"Give me a minute!" You carefully take in the surroundings outside of the glass. It's another one of the Frieza Force's outposts, which isn't a surprise. But it seems less secure. That's strange. It's less prison-like than where you were last. Why would Lord Frieza move you here?

"What do you two think you're doing?" Zarbon's voice booms from behind. Raditz flinches, accidentally dropping you. You fall to the ground, landing on your ass. You look up at him from the floor, your eyes burning with fury.

"Oops." Raditz's eyes widen. "S-Sorry, Y/N!" You stand up, brushing yourself off. You shift your gaze back to Raditz, narrowing your eyes at the slightly larger Saiyan. Before you can scold the big idiot, Zarbon speaks up.

"Let's go." Zarbon flips around, leading you out of the room. The three of you exit the aircraft, heading straight into the unfamiliar building. You tread carefully behind Zarbon, making sure not to fall too far behind. "Lord Frieza has decided to be generous and move you here. Don't take advantage of his generosity, understand me?" Oh, yes, Lord Frieza is so generous. After destroying your planet and slaughtering your people like cattle, at least he's decided to improve your living arrangements.

Zarbon leads you both into an empty room. He turns around, looking you dead in the eyes. "Wait here."

He exits the room, leaving you both alone. "Y/N, what's going on? They've never left us alone like this. We could literally leave right now. The door is right there."

"I--- I don't know." Having more freedom is somehow worse. You can't help but feel on edge. You keep your gaze fixated on the door. It's the only way in and out. You begin to hear faint mumbling from the hallway. The murmuring quickly turns to yelling. You'd recognize that shouting anywhere, even if it's been so long since you've heard it. "Vegeta." You whisper to yourself in disbelief. He's here. He's alive. You didn't think you'd ever see your brother again.

Vegeta walks through the doorway first, followed closely by Zarbon. Nappa and Cado straggle into the room a few moments after. The room is dead silent, that is, until Zarbon clears his throat, gaining everyone's attention. "Lord Frieza has given things some thought, and he believes you Saiyans will be more productive as one unit. So he's generously decided to grant your request and reunite you. This is your one warning to behave yourselves. I'll leave you alone to get reacquainted with each other." The green-haired man turns to your brother. "And Vegeta, I trust you can show Y/N and Raditz around." Zarbon stays true to his word, leaving the room.

Once again, that eerie silence takes over. No one seems to know what to say. Vegeta walks over to you. He's gotten taller. He moves his hands toward you, dusting off your armor. "Have you been sticking to your training regime?" You nod. "And you've been eating well? I know how you are. If it was up to you, you'd eat junk all day."

"Yes, Vegeta." Vegeta moves his hands into your hair, fixing all the stray strands. Making you look more presentable.

"Did--- Did anyone hurt you?" His eyes meet yours, his expression becoming gravely serious. "Did somebody lay a hand on you? Answer me!" Your lack of response does not put him at ease. "I'll fucking kill them!" Your gaze lands on the ground as you begin mumbling. "You look me in the eyes when you answer me, Y/N."

You look back up at him, pouting. "No, Vegeta." You shake your head. "No one hurt me." It's best not to tell Vegeta the truth. He'd go on a warpath and just end up getting himself killed.

"Raditz!" His head snaps toward the taller boy. "Is she telling the truth?" Raditz's eyes widen, his entire body turning stiff. "Raditz?" Raditz's gaze meets yours. "Don't look at her for help! Look at me!"

Raditz nods rapidly. "Yes. Why--- why would she lie?"

Vegeta's gaze shifts between you and Raditz. No one dares to even move. Vegeta turns around, huffing to himself. "Alright then. We'll give you the tour of this death trap." Vegeta, Nappa, and Cado show you around the building. Showing you the ins and outs of every nook and cranny. And most importantly, they show you every exit.

You circle back around to the sleeping quarters of the building. "Half of these rooms are unoccupied. Raditz, feel free to pick any one you want." Vegeta points to another room. "Y/N, that one's yours. It's right next to mine." Of course, you and Vegeta aren't even reunited for five minutes, and he's already bossing you around. You're not even mad about it. It's nice to see that some things are still the same. There's one thing you can always count on, and that's that Vegeta will be well, Vegeta. Vegeta shoos the others off with his hand. "You three can do whatever you want for the time being." Your brother turns to you. "Follow me. There's something I want to show you."

Vegeta walks into his room with you in tow. He moves straight into a corner of the room, which seems to have some sort of bag on the floor. He kneels down, rummaging through the duffle. It takes him a bit, but he finally finds what he's looking for. "I found this a while ago and figured you'd want it." He stands up, flipping back toward you. You can now see the object in his hands. It's a book. He moves back over to you, handing you the novel.

You take it, observing the cover carefully. From what you can gather just from the front, it's all about domesticated animals. Well, the book calls them pets. You didn't have those on planet Vegeta. "Thanks, Vegeta." Your face falls as you hand the book back to him. "But I don't have time for childish stuff like that anymore." Vegeta's mouth hangs ajar as he stares at you like you've grown another head. "I'm going to go to my room now, okay?" Vegeta stands still, unable to move as you leave his room, heading directly into your own.

Vegeta snaps out of his trance, moving quickly toward the doorway. Where he can see Raditz struggling to choose between two rooms. "Raditz!" The taller boy turns around. "What the hell happened this past year?"

Raditz's brows crinkle. "What do you mean?"

"Y/N's acting strange. She's not behaving like herself."

"It's just been a long day, Vegeta." Raditz sighs. "She's probably just tired." No. Vegeta doesn't care how long you've been apart. He knows that something is wrong. Something has changed. And not in a good way.

In typical Vegeta fashion, he storms into your room, slamming the door shut behind him. He finds you on your bed. You're lying on your stomach, with your face buried in a pillow. He treads carefully, moving closer to you. "Y/N--- tell me what's going on." He now hovers right over you, his eyes filled with concern.

"Nothing." You mumble into the pillow. "Just sleepy."

"Y/N---" He moves a hand into your hair, stroking it comfortingly. "I'm not going to yell. Just tell me. If--- If you did something you shouldn't have, we can figure it out together."

"That's not it." You sigh. "It's just time for me to grow up." You move your head to the side to look at your brother. "It's time for me to start taking things seriously. Like you do."

"No. That isn't your job." He says sternly. "Your job is to give everyone shit and do the things you enjoy. Like reading those dumb books, you love so much."

"But--- everything going on here is so complicated. And now we have to deal with Lord Frieza."

"And it's my job to worry about that, not yours. We're all together now. You don't have to worry anymore. I'll deal with all the difficult stuff from now on, alright? All our burdens are mine, and mine alone."

"Okay, Vegeta." You nod. For the first time in over a year, you can finally let your guard down completely. "I---" You sob. "I--- I dont--- I wanna go home." You know it's stupid. You don't have a home to go back to. You're just so exhausted. And maybe, just maybe, a little scared too.

"I know." He moves a hand to your face, wiping away your tears. "Listen to me. When we're older and back at the top of the food chain. I'll conquer whichever planet you want. And that can be our new home."

You stare up at him through tear-filled eyes, your voice cracking. "Promise?"

"Of course. I'll make sure you'll have whatever you want, baby sister. Anything and everything." He wipes a few more stray tears off your face. "Now get some sleep." He moves over to the edge of your bed, placing the book on your mattress before leaving the room. Vegeta knows something happened to you, but he doesn't want to upset you any further. And honestly, he's just happy to have you back, right by his side, where you belong.

Your eyes snap open, your head darting toward the massive spike in power. Frieza's energy has elevated significantly. Did he--- Did he transform again? But his new power level is on a whole other planet compared to his previous form. Did you miss one of his transformations? Wait--- there's an energy source missing. The loss is so small you barely noticed it. Frieza must have killed someone. But who? The Namekian child? He went after the weakest being in the group. But why? A scare tactic, maybe? Frieza does like being unnecessarily cruel. What else did you miss when your mind was elsewhere? You knew you should've stayed focused, but you needed to escape, even if it was only for a little bit.

Now Frieza is fighting someone as well. This is so frustrating. Your eyes are much more accurate than this dumb energy-sensing technique. You wish you could see what was happening. It takes you a moment, but you're finally able to recognize Frieza's adversary as Vegeta. How the hell did your brother get so much stronger? You barely even recognized his power level. Vegeta wasn't nearly that strong when you saw him last. You're more confused than you've ever been. Last time you checked, Saiyans don't just magically get stronger without dedicated training or a massive injury. Something isn't adding up.

Even though Vegeta's significantly stronger, you know it's not enough. He doesn't stand a chance against Frieza alone. Your eyes land back onto the healing chamber, well rather the man inside. "Come on, Kakarot." You mutter to yourself. "Hurry the fuck up." With every second that passes, you become more frantic. Vegeta's power level is dropping, and it's dropping fast. You don't like this. Should you go back to the battlefield? You run a hand through your hair, trying to calm your nerves. But it feels like your brain is moving a thousand miles a second. You can't just stand here while Frieza manhandles your brother. But what help would you be? You're strong--- but you know your power isn't enough to even stand a chance against Frieza. And if your wound opens back up, it's game over. You need time to weigh the pros and cons. Time that you don't have.

You need to make a decision. You know Vegeta wouldn't want you to get involved, but---- before you can even finish your thought, bright red lights flash in the room. You move your attention back onto the healing chamber. Finally! Kakarot's done. You walk to the control panel, mashing the buttons to release him. With one last push of a button, the door opens. "It's about time, Kakarot. You have a nasty habit of showing up late, don't you?" Immediately as he steps into the room, your breath hitches. You're at a loss for words. You carefully observe the man in front of you, watching the water-like substance drip off his sculpted body. He looks the same, but he feels so different. He's like a whole new man.

His energy has changed entirely. You can't wrap your brain around it. You can't even formulate the words to describe what's different about Goku. But you know that you've never seen anything like this before.

"Y/N?" You're snapped back to reality by Goku waving a hand in front of your face. "Are you alright?"

"Mhm." You nod, still unable to form a coherent sentence. It's like he put a spell on you. One that makes you hear the rapid thumping of your heart in your ears. And sets your entire body aflame with his gaze.

"Are you sure? Cause you're looking at me kinda funny." You gasp, your gaze darting all over the room. You're looking at everything besides the man in front of you. That helps you regain your sanity. Simple, just don't look at Kakarot, and you'll be fine.

"Never better." Keep your words short and sweet, and you'll be able to put up a facade of normalcy.

"If you say so." Goku looks at his hands. "Wow. This is amazing." He's in awe. It's kinda cute, in a sickening sort of way. "We have nothing like that on Earth. It would usually take me weeks to get healed, but that was pretty much instant. It healed me so fast." He looks back at you. "And thanks for coming back to let me out. Even if it wasn't completely your choice." Oh, right. Kakarot heard everything you said to him. Damn it.

"That's not why Vegeta screamed at me to come here." You pat the side of your torso, reminding Goku of your injury.

"Oh, right." He chuckles lightly. "I forgot about that. Do you need help with the healing chamber?"

"No." You scoff. "You'd probably just break something. Or you'd end up locking me in the chamber for a year. I have it----" You cut yourself off, noticing another significant drop in your brother's power level. "I have everything under control. Just go!" He nods, ascending into the air. "And Kakarot, good luck. You're gonna need it." He blasts a hole through the roof before taking off to face Frieza.

The sooner you get healed up, the sooner you can get back to join the others. You still don't like this, but you know it's the smart thing to do. Once you're one hundred percent, you can give Frieza some real hell. You start pressing the buttons again, this time to activate the process. Luckily, you won't be in there as long as Kakarot. You're dealing with something much more minor.

You step into the chamber, and the goo-like substance fills your surroundings. Eww, you shutter. You forgot how gross and slimy this shit is. But you know your slight discomfort will be worth it in the end. Even though you hate this damn machine. During your childhood, you spent many hours in these rust buckets after your training. None of them were pleasant. You take a deep breath, trying to remain calm, as you desperately avoid checking to see how the battle is going. Because if you even look once, you know it'll be all you can think about. You'll drive yourself crazy before you're even close to being healed.

You're not sure how long you've been in the chamber now. Time always seems to disappear when you're in here. The water-like substance in the chamber is supposed to have a tranquil effect, so maybe that's why? You've never felt it, but that might just be tied to all your unpleasant memories of being trapped in healing chambers after being beaten half to death. You just hope you'll be done soon. This might be worse than being trapped for months in a pod, and that's saying a lot.

Your eyes snap open, your breath hitching. That was a mistake. You blink rapidly, trying to get the liquid out of your eyes. Your eyes are on fire, but you ignore the burning. Something's wrong--- it's this unexplainable feeling you have in your gut. You give in to your intuition, focusing on the one area you've been desperately avoiding, the battlefield. When you do, your heart sinks. You've never felt this way in your life. Vegeta's energy isn't just low. It's faintly present. If you didn't know better, you would've mistaken him for an insect. What the hell is going on? Vegeta isn't--- he isn't even fighting back. That isn't like your brother. You can feel his energy getting weaker and weaker. You can't--- you can't just stay here. You know it would be wiser to finish healing. You would be more helpful in the fight against Frieza when you're in top form. But for once--- you don't care. The rational part of your mind has gone blank. You've been spending far too much time with those earthlings. They must be rubbing off on you.

You manage to wiggle your fingers, focusing all your energy on your hand. The liquid in the chamber makes it very difficult to move. You move your hand slightly up. But it feels like there's a weight pulling you back down. You dismiss the feeling, moving your hand parallel to the window. You use all your strength, shooting a blast of energy straight ahead. Shards of glass fly across the room, and the liquid sprays violently out of the chamber, flooding the area. You step out of your former prison, wiping the drops of water off your face. You fling yourself up into the air, speeding through the same hole Goku made not too long ago.

You fly faster than you've ever flown before. You didn't even think that was possible since you're one of the fastest beings in the universe. You don't remember it taking this long to arrive last time. It feels like an eternity. You are so wrapped up in your thoughts that you almost fly past everyone. You almost missed Frieza's massive energy. You're slipping.

Your gaze fixates on the person you are most worried about, Vegeta. He's in worse shape than you thought. You look into your brother's eyes, and you can't believe what you see. Tears. You've never seen Vegeta cry before, not once. Your father even said he didn't cry as a baby. Then you hear something even less likely than Vegeta shedding tears. It's so unbelievable that you thought your ears were deceiving you. He begs Kakarot for help. Vegeta, your brother, one of the most prideful beings to ever exist. Begging someone, no, a third-class Saiyan, a clown-like Kakarot, for help. You can't even wrap your head around it. It feels like you're in some sort of bizarre dream. Or is it a nightmare? You finally notice the gaping hole in your brother's chest. That's--- That's not good.

Vegeta's chest rises and falls. He takes one last shallow breath before his head plops down on the ground, motionless. It's happened. You're now trapped in your worst nightmare. The worst fear of your childhood has come to life. The only thing that was more horrifying than Frieza's existence. Vegeta--- he's just gone. You hear this obnoxious shriek of hysteria. It's loud enough to pierce the eardrums of beings on other planets, planets that are far outside of this solar system. Wait. Did that--- come from you? Did you make that sound? You've never ever made a noise like that in your life.

"Y/N. How nice of you to join us." Frieza's mocking invades your ears, but you don't care. You don't even think your brain registered his taunting. You rush over to Vegeta's side, dropping to your knees.

"V-Vegeta." He looks so weak. So pathetic. As kids, you always looked up to Vegeta, and that's not just because he was taller in stature. Even as adults, you still thought the world of him. Hell, he was your world. Vegeta was always so brave and so strong. He was your hero. As a child, you wanted to be just like him. You idolized him. Sure, you butted heads more often than not, but that's just how you were. Now--- now he's just gone. One second he was here. He was breathing. And now he's not. "No, no, no, no. No! You promised. You promised me!" You were so mad at him only a few minutes ago, wishing him a fate worse than death. Now, you're incoherently sobbing at his side.

The others surrounding you are silent. There are no words that can be said to you at this moment. "And the Saiyan Princess sheds tears for the Prince. How sad. Though, who would've thought you'd be the last one from your bloodline, Y/N. I had my money on Vegeta. I always thought your recklessness would've gotten you killed first." All you can see is red as the freak's grating voice echoes in your mind. "I almost single-handedly wiped out your bloodline too. When I exterminated your dreadful race, I personally took care of your pathetic father. And, I guess you can see what I did to poor Vegeta." Your mind clouds further, deeper shades of red filling your vision. "Too bad I didn't have the chance to get rid of the little one. Some insect probably took care of him." You clench your hand into the ground, digging up clumps of dirt with your hands. "As I recall, you were quite protective over him." You unclench your fist, tears now shamelessly running down your face. "Y/N--- there's no need to cry. Don't worry. You'll see them all again momentarily. Your father, Vegeta, your other brother. I can't seem to remember his name, but I suppose it really doesn't matter. No one who knew him will be around anyway."

"Y/N!" Raditz shouts. "Get the hell out of the way!" Your legs feel like lead. You can't find the energy to move. It's like you've lost your will with Vegeta. Or maybe you're in shock? You snap your eyes shut, preparing yourself for the inevitable. At least it'll be quick.

You can hear the blast incoming like a missile. You knew Frieza would probably be the one to cause your demise, but you didn't think it would be like this. Your eyelids grow heavy as you feel something splatter all over your back. After a few moments, you gain the courage to open your eyes. You look down at your torso, but everything seems fine. Your chest piece is fully intact, and you're not in any pain. You move your hand to your back, wiping off the unknown substance. You observe your hand closely. That's definitely blood. "W-What the hell?" Your voice is inaudible. Not even a faint whisper escapes your lips.

"Well, not who I was aiming for. But I suppose that's one more Saiyan out of the way." Frieza states, with minor irritation.

You turn around to find Raditz, who's fallen onto the ground. "Rad---Raditz!" You shriek, flipping his body back over. "You big fucking idiot! Why would--- why did you do that?"

"Over the years, you've taken so many beatings for me. It's about time I repaid the favor." He chuckles briefly before wincing in pain. "And you know. It's about time I actually did my job for once."

"That's not you're job! It's not your job to protect me." You grimace at him. "At least not anymore."

"Yes, it is. It's what I was tasked with on planet Vegeta. And I'm finally seeing it through." Raditz's eyes begin to droop. "Besides, use your head. Who do you think stands a better chance against that purple freak? Me or you?"

"You must really be losing it." You can tell Raditz is struggling to keep his eyes open, but the stubborn fool is even fighting his own body's natural instincts. "You were always so terrified of Frieza. And now you have no problem running your mouth."

"It's what I do best." Raditz coughs. "Who knew dying fucking hurt so much. Whenever we killed someone, I always thought they were being dramatic. But damn, this sucks."

"Developing a conscience in your final moments?" You can't help but laugh. This fool always knows how to make you feel better, even when he's down.

Raditz chuckles. "Hell no. I'd do it all again." He finally gives in, snapping his eyes closed. "Y/N." He pauses. "Make him pay. For what he did to our planet. Our people. My--- My mother." You run a hand through his wild hair, hushing him.

"I will, Raditz. You don't have to worry about that."

"And--- one more thing, Y/N."

"Damn, you sure have a lot of last requests." He opens his eyes a crack, staring at you through lidded eyes.

"I'm dying! Let me have my moment." You chuckle but decide to let him continue. "Try to get along with Kakarot. Or at least don't kill him. I know his personality is a lot--- but."

You sigh dramatically. "I'll try. But no promises."

Raditz grins one last time. "You know. You've made this entire shitty existence a lot better, Y/N. I can't even picture my life without you in it anymore." His head falls to the ground, his eyes returning to their closed state. You watch him take one final breath, and just like that, he's gone too. Raditz and Vegeta are both dead. There's two more people added to the lengthy list of things Freiza has taken from you.

"Ya, me too, Raditz." You snap your tear-filled eyes shut, a few stray tears rolling down your face. At least with Raditz, you got to say goodbye.

"As loyal as the dog that he was till the end. How pathetic." You finally stand up, clenching your fists. "Now, Y/N. I'd love to see how you plan to make me pay."

Goku walks to stand beside you. It looks like he's going to move over to Frieza, but you raise your hand, stopping him dead in his tracks. "He's mine, Kakarot." You practically growl. Goku wants to get involved, but the expression on your face makes his blood run cold.

The two of you stare at each other for some time as if you are communicating telepathically. Goku shuts his eyes, nodding. "Alright, Y/N." He moves back to stand beside the others who are staring at him, horrified. Goku backing down from a fight is unheard of. All you needed was a few minutes, and you could make him stand down completely. It's like you're some sort of Goku whisperer. Krillin sure wishes he had that ability. That would've saved him a lot of trouble over the years.

"After all these years, I don't have to hold back anymore." Your eyes linger between both corpses. "I played nice--- well, as nice as I could. I bit my tongue all this time." Your eyes lock on Vegeta. "Looks like you did me a favor." You smirk. "Now, I don't have to protect Vegeta's ego."

Frieza laughs uncontrollably like it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. "You're even more delusional than that brother of yours. What's next? Are you going to tell me you're a Super Saiyan too?"

"I'm no Super Saiyan." You scoff. "I'm not that strong. But I do have to thank you, Frieza. You did help me become the woman I am today. You underestimated me, just like I expected you to. You played right into my hand."

"How so?" Frieza actually sounds alarmed. There isn't even a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Back when I was little, my father would always tell me how there were things that I was capable of that Vegeta wasn't. I thought he was full of shit. That he was trying to make me feel better about being so mediocre compared to my brother. But I've grown to understand what he meant. Vegeta was always stronger---- but I was smarter, less prideful. Even if I didn't always act like it. I'm sure that's in one of your little reports from your underlings from back when you were scouting planet Vegeta."

"And how did you manipulate me, Y/N?"

"I'm getting to that. I was content with living in my brother's shadow, letting everyone degrade me."

"Are you saying that you're stronger than Vegeta was?" Frieza asks in total disbelief.

"Exactly." You nod. "And it's all because of you, Lord Frieza." You're getting too cocky, but you can't help yourself. "When you'd train me, I'd never let you know how strong I was. Only using half my strength, sometimes even less than that."

"I miscalculated you." He grins eerily. "I applaud you, honestly. That doesn't happen often. But I can tell you right now, I won't be making that mistake again."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." You glance once more at your fallen comrades. If you're going to fight Frieza, you need to be angry.

"Come on then, show me how strong you actually are. I'm assuming you'll be quite manageable." You stretch your arms out, cracking your knuckles. "And that's if you're not bluffing. Cause there's no reason to delay this any longer, Y/N, if you're really as strong as you claim."

You speed toward Frieza, starting your barrage of attacks. Frieza dodges every one. "You know what they say about Saiyans. There's only one thing more dangerous than a Saiyan with damaged pride. And that's a Saiyan with nothing left to lose. And unfortunately for you, I'm the latter." You finally manage to land a blow on Frieza, knocking him back. You and Frieza end up in the air, trading punches back and forth. You're both moving at lightspeed. The others probably can't even track you.

"You've taken everything from me." It all comes bubbling back up. The years of humiliation. The years of bullshit you've had to put up with. The years of being trapped under Frieza's thumb. Bending over backwards to complete his every whim. But even with all of that. Nothing compares to losing Vegeta and Raditz within minutes of each other. Things can only build up for so long. This time you've finally cracked. "You've taken everything!" You shriek. Strong winds form around you, and the ground below begins to shake rapidly. "I'm going to make you regret the day you decided to keep me alive!" You know a way that you can do some real damage to Frieza. You might even be able to kill him, but it's risky.

There's one thing that isn't worth all the strength in the world. And that's losing control. Relinquishing control of your body and actions is the greatest horror you can imagine. But at this point, you're willing to give up everything just to give Frieza a taste of his own medicine. And you know if things go south, Kakarot's here. He'll be able to stop you when things go astray.

You stop dead in the air, flashing Frieza a sinister grin. "It's really not fair." You pout. "You shouldn't be the only one who gets to power up."

"Are you talking about your pathetic monkey transformation?" Frieza cackles. "You know that wouldn't be of any use against me. There's no point in even wasting your time."

You scoff. "No, I'm talking about something even better." You land back onto the ground, and Frieza quickly follows.

"Well, if it's so great, show me." You have to channel all your anger. It shouldn't be too hard. Everything that freak has ever done, all of the pain he's caused you, flashes through your mind. "Come on, I'm waiting." You glance back one last time at what's left of Raditz and Vegeta. You clench your fists, gritting your teeth. You huff and puff as fresh tears stream down your face. You scream, similar to the way when you saw Vegeta.

The ground beneath you shakes, and rapid winds form around you as your piercing shriek only elevates. Your power level, which was once undetectable, now skyrockets. But it's not enough to scare Frieza. "You Saiyans are always so dramatic. So far, this is quite the underwhelming performance." Frieza yawns dramatically. "It's putting me to sleep. You know what. After I'm done with this planet. I'll do a sweep around the galaxy for the last of King Vegeta's offspring. In the rare chance that he did survive, that is. I want to nip this Saiyan problem in the butt for good. I sware you're like roaches. You kill one, and four more pop up in its place."

You spent the majority of your childhood protecting Tarble from the wrath of anyone that came his way. Frieza going after you is one thing. But Tarble is a whole other story. Your brother being alive is this invasive thought that pops up in your mind now and again. You know it's incredibly unlikely. You always did everything for him. Even if it's hypothetical, even if you believe he's dead. You've never let a single being lay a hand on your twin, and you sure as hell won't let it start happening now.

Your screaming only amplifies as the entirety of the planet quakes. Violent waves form in the waters of Namek as strong winds take over the atmosphere. You're so wrapped up in your rage that you can't hear the conversations of the earthlings. You can't even see the rising panic on Frieza's features. The color of your irises drains, the entirety of your eyes turning into a glowing white before becoming a vibrant teal. Your hair hovers into the air, turning into a shade of gold. You chuckle deeply, twisting a strand of your hair. "Not what I was trying to do. But this works too."

Frieza's eyes bulge out of his head. "Are you claiming to have another form?!"

The world around you has stilled. It's returned back to normalcy. "Looks like that old legend was true after all. I always thought it was one of those old wives' tales that was told to Saiyan children to scare them into not skipping training." If only your father could see you now. He'd be proud.

"You're--- You're a. No! It's not possible!" Frieza's panic grows more incoherent with every word. "You're a Super Saiyan!"

"Wow!" Gohan gasps in awe. "I've never seen anything like that before." Why does the brat sound so cheery? One happy-go-lucky buffoon is more than enough.

You move towards Frieza. Even if you can't defeat him, the way he's looking at you is enough to satisfy you. You've never seen the great Lord Frieza fearful before. "Come on then, let's get this show on the road." You and Frieza get straight back into it, destroying any terrain that crosses your path. Nothing gets your blood pumping more than a good fight. Well, that was until recently. Kakarot has the same effect on you, but that's something you consider an undesirable nuisance. "I'm going to make you pay! For everything you've done to me---- to my people!" Your emotions in this form seem to run even more rampant than usual.

You punch Freiza into the air. "That's for my planet!" You teleport behind him, smacking Frieza back toward the ground. "My people!" Right before he can hit the ground, you grab him by the neck. You tighten your grip, restricting his airflow. "This one's for me." You toss him back into the air like it's nothing. This time you stay on the ground, lifting your index finger. You create a bright blue beam with your finger. "And this is for my father!" You shoot a beam of light at him, slicing his tail in two. To Frieza, that's the worst attack you've done all day. Before he can react, you speed towards him, grabbing his arm. You swing him around like a fan, tossing him back into the sky. "That's for Raditz!" Frieza now hovers in the air, slightly dazed. You create a giant blinding ball of energy. "And this one! This one is for Vegeta!" You send the orb straight to Frieza, blasting him into the ground. The bright light disappears, revealing the giant crater you've made.

Frieza lays still in the hole, not moving a muscle. "Is he?" You cut Krillin off before he can even continue his foolishness.

"Don't be stupid! You really think a little blast like that could put down Frieza?"

Frieza stands back up, cracking his neck. His expression is grim. It makes your stomach churn. "Are you done with your little tantrum? Without Vegeta, there's no one to keep you in check." He huffs, looking at his back, swaying what's left of his tail. "Though I intend to make you pay for what you did to my tail."

The fight continues. You never thought you'd be able to hold your own against Frieza for this long. This form is amazing. Too bad you won't be able to truly appreciate your newfound strength. Frieza kicks you full force in the one spot you desperately hoped he'd miss. The second he did, you knew you were in trouble. Your wound opened back up. "Fuck!" You fall to your knees, wincing in pain. One hit, which usually wouldn't even make you flinch, takes you out of commission. Your hair falls limp, returning to its normal shade, and your eyes do the same.

"So one blow to the torso takes out the mighty Super Saiyan completely." Frieza chuckles. "Looks like I had nothing to fear after all." He notices you gripping your side. "Oh, so that's why you weren't here. You're injured. That Super Saiyan form of yours could've been quite the problem. But I guess there's no need to worry now." He flies down to the ground, standing right in front of you. "Any last words?" You look up at him, and with all the energy you can muster, you spit in his face.

Frieza narrows his eyes, wiping your saliva off his eyelid. "I'm sure you're excited to join the rest of your race in hell."

You can't open your eyes. The blow you took must have made your injury even worse than it was before. Burter must be staring up at you from hell, laughing his ass off about indirectly taking you out. In your final moments, you're so weak. You always thought you'd go out in a blaze of glory. "Can't wait. I'm sure I'll see you there real soon too. There must be lots of people down there that are anxiously anticipating your arrival."

It's not like Frieza to draw things out this long. He doesn't like to play with his victims for extended periods. "That's enough." You've never heard Kakarot sound so serious before. You manage to open your eyes, and you can't believe it. Goku's right in front of that monster, holding Frieza's wrist tightly. There's no hesitation, Kakrot's fearless. Goku teleports over to you, picking you up like you're weightless. For someone so powerful, he's surprisingly gentle. "Don't make that face at me." You're not--- okay, you're glaring at him, but Kakrot deserves it. "You're lucky, Y/N. I don't usually let people fight before me when I'm able to. But this seemed really important to you."

"Fuck you---Kakarot!" He's grinning at you. Why does he always do that? It's so infuriating.

"Would you have rather me let Frieza kill you?" He carries you over to the others.

"Yes."

"Well, too bad!" He carefully places you on the ground. "You stay here with the others. Let me take care of everything, okay?" He turns to his son. "Gohan, take care of Y/N. Make sure she doesn't get hurt any worse."

"I hope Frieza slaughters you." You snarl.

"You don't mean that." He chuckles, smiling warmly at you. He turns to Frieza, his expression turning ice cold. "I'm going to make you pay! For everything you've done! For every one you've hurt!" And there he goes again. With his whole selfless hero act. This is nauseating. You wish you were dead.

Who will be victorious, Goku or Frieza? Will Goku become a Super Saiyan too? And will Y/N ever be grateful to Goku for saving her life? Find out all of this and more in the next chapter of The Princess of All Saiyans!

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