#all talk no silence between them
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wanting to draw the latest imodna kiss but being overly aware I have drawn so many kisses that I'm basically repeating my lines 🥲
#like also the tone of it all was soooo#ending with laudna saying the rift between them is surely gonna widen and that she still feels like she is a burden to imogen#the kiss being Imogen silencing her in a way#love when they're fucked up ngl#feel like people are just like yay kiss and talk but that was bleak! I love it. I love how direct Imogen was#love that laudna was standing up for herself a bit too but she was also lying a little surely#keeping delilah around if it means laudna gets to stay as well#powerful morally grey sapphics lets go
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there is nothing more delightful than hearing forsy talk about fishing absolutely nothing more delightful than that so behold. forsy talking about fishing.
"More than just hockey, you're also a big fisherman. Why fishing?" "I don't know, it's something that I did growing up with my grandpa, my dad and my two brothers. It's a good way to relax and get your mind off hockey—Everything really in life. You're focusing on fishing and that's it." "So, when are you buying your boat here in South Florida?" "Well...we'll see. It's mostly a summer thing but I wouldn't mind a boat. I'm pretty simple like that! It's hockey, fishing and family-life. Yeah, that is pretty much it for me." "You're a simple man!" "Yep!" "It's good! It's probably why you're a good player 'cuz you got your focuses. You're locked in!" "Yeah, yeah."
WSFL Inside South Florida | 4.11.24 (x)
"When you disconnect—When you step away from the rink, what are some of the things you like to do over the course of the summer?" "I'm a big fishing guy, so that's pretty much all I do when I'm working out back home." "Where do you go to fish? Where are the big spots in Sweden?" "Can't tell you the best spots. Just around—We actually—Me and my fiancée just bought a house back home. We haven't seen it yet so it's gonna be fun to see the house by the lake...I'm gonna fish that way." "It is furnished? Or are you walking into an empty house?" "No, it's gonna be empty!" "Oh, that's a summer project!" "Yeah, so we got a lot of things to do." "What do you go for? What's the most exciting thing you've pulled in?" "I enjoy pike fishing. I love big pikes. That's probably my favourite." "Is that part of the off-season workout? I mean, the upperbody gets a good workout fishing." "Oh, yeah. I think it's a lot of mental, too! Like, a mental game. So, you know, you gotta stay patient. It's a lot of fun."
Territory Talk | 6.15.22 (x)
"First question, I gotta ask you. What's something recently—off the ice, outside of hockey—that's brought you joy?" "Ooh! When I'm home during summer usually I fish a lot. So, that's something I really enjoy. I've been doing a lot this summer...Yeah, fishing, I would say." "Fishing. That's something you do with friends, with family, by yourself?" "Yeah. Actually both. I fish with my brothers and my dad, and a lot of buddies." "That sounds great! That sounds like a nice way to unwind!" "It is!" "—And the total opposite sort-of mentality of hockey which is so 'go-go-go-go!' physical in-your-face." "Yeah, it's still very competitive. Fishing it's—but it's fun!" "When you're dealing with a professional athlete I can't imagine theres anything that's not at least a little competitive." "Exactly!"
Miami Mic'd Up | 10.12.23 (x)
"We're seeing you're a big outdoorsman... ya like fishing?" "Yeah. I love—I'm a big fisherman." "Yeah? Do you have any—Have you been on a big fishing trip? Or you've just been fishing in Sweden? Down there in Florida? Where you at and what do you like to fish?" "In Florida it's mostly deep sea fishing. I'm more a lake guy. I mean, I'm starting to get into it more here in Florida. Ekblad is fishing a lot, so, he took me out a couple times. It's pretty cool to get a big Tuna and stuff like that...but I'm more of a lake guy, I would say." "Does Ekky make you pull in the big fish? 'Cuz he already said how big and strong you are, 'throwing a 250'... He's like—he gives it over to you or what?" "Yeah, but he's got the whole electric stuff so he's—" "Oh, he's cheating! With the big rod riggers!" "Yeah! He rigs—" "He got into that a few years ago when I was down there with him. He's still into it, he's still on that deep sea stuff. I can never do it, it made me sick." "Yeah. Yeah, he is."
NHL Network | 3.14.24 (x)
man who absolutely wanted to be asked to reel in a big one by his partner but absolutely did not get the privilege because ekkys gone electric mourn for him hes want to be a big strongman and useful but now he cant because of technology.
but also the lakeguy vs seaguy fishing fued we got here is utterly delightful im not surprised if ekky took him out fishing just to try and convince him that its better can you imagine the amount of squabbles theyve got in over fishing. but also ekky took him out fishing. several times. like that happened. okay im gonna normal about that 👍
also not them damsel in distressing ekky like ohhhhh does he make you do the heavy stuff he talks soooooo much about how big and strong you are does he put you to work *bats eyelashes*
forsy, who really desperately wants to be put to work: no no he doesnt 😔😔
and here are just the multitude of photos of forsy fishing (redfin perches and northern pikes) over the years and posting it to ig and the captions are all filled with the weight and length of the fish like oh hes a real fishin boi give me those numbers (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x)
#gustav forsling#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#2122#2324#like all forsy things somehow ekky is here too#hi ekky#just a man talking about fishing pike aint nothing more joyous than that#but also them asking forsy if he reels in fish for ekky. and forsy seems a little disappointed to shake his head and say no.#re:cats in downtown lugging a tincan over their head and forsy just goes “i got it” and takes cupholding duties from swaggy like a strongma#anyways do you ever think about the mundanity of fishing. the long hours spent between each catch just watching the water ripple.#the quiet comfort of the person beside you. the easy going dialogue between you that lulls into silence.#before the line starts twitching and you both stand up and rush over to the rod and the side of the boat in pure excitement.#maybe the game is a little too big a little too strong and you have to place your hands on the rod too. plant your feet behind your mate.#get a good few pulls in while grunts fill the air because this fish is a bit of a fighter. your chest is basically plastered to his back.#anyways#i think forsy should take ekky lakefishing in sweden or something#the romanticism of early morning fishing on a tiny boat in a lake. just two guys sitting very close together.#also forsy in the fourth pic with the pike haunts my every waking moment. thighs.#like in the sixth one i was like ooooohhh what a cute little man in his little fishing outfit ooooo#and then i get hit with skies out thighs out babe none of this is behind a paywall we get feet for FREE freak summer pic#forsy in green is good 👍 hi little elf man ����#he holds these fish like an animal crossing character#that being said he would be besties with rory and rolf#also forsy talking about fishing with ekky is at 9:29#oh god post tag regret please dont read the tags jesus aughghfhfbf
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when i'm eating dinner at the table peacefully and some bitchass keeps talking TALKING TALKING LIKE OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! is this what horror feels when killer keeps rambling at the dinner table without shutting the fuck up please sew your lips shut unanesthetized
#this is a bit on the ehhhh....... bit on the violent side triglycercule!#yeah i know :3#i have a lot of rage in my heart#dinner was RUINED actually (i simply left because i got too damn pissed)#SHUT UPPPPP!!!!!!!!! SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE STILL BE EMPTY BE FUCKING NOT ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#horror is always angry when i talk about him because he is how i get my anger out#TRUST 🤞#i have 3 moods and they are all represented by the murder time trio. which is not very good actually uh#i HATE HATE HAAAATE. when people keep on talking to me during dinner#leave me alone GAWWWWWDDDDD GOD stop INTERRUPTING my peaceful mindless task#when i EAT i want to EAT like a brainless cow nibbling on grass OK. LET ME BE CATTLE#dinner is frequently interrupted between those 3#dust has learned to eat food in a seperate room but not far enough that he cant hear what the other 2 r saying#horror still eats @ the table because it is the principle of food ok he wont have it tainted even if killer and dust are annoying#killer doesnt even eat the damn food (barely) but he just sits there because what else can he do#eat on the roof???? he already tried that it didn't do anything cool for him#i love that i actually got so genuinely mad and then when i went 2 my room i was like#wait! this is so mtt core! this is so them! and once again i remember what anger feels like so i can think about them!#when i feel negative emotions and i get to be like yeah.... yeah...... the murder time trio felt this one particularly well#its hard to get sad or angry now because when i do im just like wait wait how can i tie the trio into this#was crying then i remembered that dust felt grief too and now i know a part of him a little bit better now#was confused at other people's emotions and then i remembered oh shit killer strugles with this too! i know what he feels like a bit now!#triglycervule youre so funny and cool. why thank you. i have to go to spanish class now with only a half filled stomach#unsatisfied. unfulfilled. this is what horror feels but probably on a worse scale#tricule rant
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I thought "Forest of Swords" was just a pretty name, but now knowing it's a punishment given by the Ten-Lords Commission I wonder how it links to Blade
#Fragments and scraps#I talk too much#It's the punishment given to the criminal whose capture marked the beginning of the alliance between the Xianzhou and the Foxians iirc#which makes me even more intrigued given the‚ well‚ everything#It's also restricted to name Jingliu to this criminal which is interesting but several of such criminals had this warning listed#So I wonder if there's any particularity here or if she was 'just' the one to apprehend these people#and the story is not much more interesting beyond that. I would love to know though#There are several mentions and names thrown in this that intrigue me very much. I think they make sense#such as Huaiyan being permitted always to visit the Flint Emperor or the marshal of the Xianzhou being the one dealing with Shuhu#but it makes me wonder about them too. Yingxing being the one designing a binding for the criminal that formed delusions to imprison them#in one of their own is very interesting and I'd love to know more about this story. The concept and process. But I guess this will be all#Jing Yuan's name being restricted to be called in front of the criminal they use for interrogations works so well#with how the criminal is being used in exchange for seven days of freedom yearly. That feels such a Jing Yuan move indeed. I loved it#There was a Memorysnatcher that tried to steal the general's memory and I wonder who that was since it wasn't specified#I guess Jing Yuan since we're in the Luofu? That was intriguing too. The previous general was also mentioned at some point#The fact they wonder whether Shuhu is the one in the box is extremely intriguing#especially in the context of what Jingliu said about what Yingxing did#The silence around Imbibitor Lunae is extremely intriguing too but it doesn't surprise me at all. I wonder if it has to be with Jing Yuan#Because that too is a very Jing Yuan move I think. And I love him for that. I adore how he deals with things#I don't talk about him all that much I think but he's one of my favourite characters. Probably my second favourite#I digress... Everything else intrigued me but didn't surprise me all that much#The 'Forest of Swords' mention‚ though‚ I wasn't expecting at all. And maybe I should have‚ given 'Shuhu's gift'#and the mention of being reborn from a husk. Apparently weightless details that later on got a lot of development and importance#I love that they got that treatment. I say this a lot but I truly adore how this game deals with details and how they get developed#ANYWAY this was a joy to read. I see genius craftman Yingxing being mentioned and a reference to Huaiyan existing at all and I go 🥺✨💕#I wonder if we'll ever meet Huaiyan. Oh‚ or see the Zhuming. I would love to#So many typos but I'm not sure I'll be fixing them. It's annoying#And sorry for not censoring but I go here to put down some thoughts while I play and it's such a hassle to remember to do so#Besides I always seem to forget doing so once or twice and that's enough for the post to appear in the tags anyway
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#the thing is. you should believe survivors#also my ex after we broke up tried to go to half of our mutual friend and tell them horrifying stories of abuse he was dealing with#it wasn't even planned smearing campain (I don't think it's his style). he was truly hurt. some things really di happened. some even#happened the way he told it. and some were blowed to 'I went to work with bruises every day' (he was grabbed by hand by other partner once#and had bruises because he was so white-skinned he bruised like from touch)#or how I forced him to live with other man that hated him and turned his life to hell (he forgot to mention that it was my disabled brother#he flew away from our abusive mother as soon as he turned 18 and I gave him shelter. after asking partners to consider this seriously#because it's big commitment. I also stated several times that I'm willing to move out with him if it's unpleasant. also this 'living hell'#was him ignoring my partner completely after he yelled on him several times because as he said he didn't ran away from home#to suffer yelling again)#so yeah. it didn't work that time because my friend actually know everything from me long before my ex came to them#they nodded politely and never talked to him again#but it lingers. and it majes me look really critically at any call out or accusation.#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness#it sounds like girl had a horrifying experience. it also looks like she kept illusion of being fully on board and loving it.#was it believably? or he just didn't care#did he pick her because she was young and inexperienced? or because she told him she's interested in bdsm?#did he tried to help her when she was in bad place? or was he calculatingly buying her silence?#was he creepy or was he awkward?#honestly I don't know even... what kind of proofs you can get there#like we have her statement. we have objective thing — texts and vids. we can have Gaiman own statement#so what if he will repeat what stated in messages: it was consensual she literally wrote what she want me to do etc#believe survivors. what if everything she told is true too. but also what in messages are true too#what if she was scared and hurt and also told him yes and more and please master. because people are complicated#would he accused of not reading her mind? would there be charges on not checking enough. HOW WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT#like it's all is ne genuinely trying to understand what's next and how it could be wrapped at all#for the record: even if it was absolutely 💯 consensual and girl like completely lying about everything etc#he's still clearly fucked up and things were messy for a lot of reasons. it's bad!#but there's difference between 'it was rape or coercion' and 'it was poorly planned affair and he should've be more considerate of partners#feelings'. and in any way. hope that girl gets help
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(*slides onto main with my niche progression fantasy book fandom*) listen why I’ve become so gay for thelys after eotw is just like. the AA1 flashback shows therin sacrificing herself for ria and the others. she tells them to go, to run, and she faces vaelien alone. (and for the first and last time, she falls.) that was there before eotw, and I assumed, to stay as close to our therin crumbs as possible, that it meant therin was dutiful and serious and kind and selfless, a guardian, a protector. (and she loved ria selys. that was never in doubt.)
and then I read eotw, and the smiling sword saint happened, this beautiful piece of shit with sharp words and uncaringly rough edges and the capacity to tear apart a landmass with a motion of her lips, who was glad to hear that she ended in a two-sun blaze of glory, who was eager for a good fight and fully confident she would win because she always does. because there are blades in her breath and in her skin.
and she wielded a sword with a handle of white stone. she never transitioned from the body she was born in, the one she shouldn’t have had. the sword of her rival-killer was marked with golden runes for every life it took. he stood in part shadow.
so she was therin.
and that changed things. that meant that this fucking asshole was the person who stayed behind and gave her life to give the people she cared about a chance. this was the person who held ria close and ran her fingers through her hair. this was who loved her.
#tldr: augh fuck i love that therin APPEARED and got CHARACTERIZATION#but i love her like im really gay#also awesome trans rep in eotw i died#therin#thelys#the lost edge#edge of the woods spoilers#just in case lmao#arcane ascension#anyway if anyone actually sees this and has no idea what i’m talking about other than lesbians#read sufficiently advanced magic and the silence of unworthy gods and read edge of the woods.#no there is no context. yes there are two whole books between sam and tsoug. they are all by#andrew rowe#i’m adding ‘write a fic for them’ to my to-do list. it is one of many fic ideas i suddenly am having and needing to write.#they are all going after ‘homework’. no i don’t like it either but what can you do
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*sighs mournfully* The mystery/psychological horror aspect of c!Ranboo’s story
#c!ranboo#I barely see this talked about anymore and it’s imo the coolest part of his story#the struggle between trying to deny that he’s done anything bad and also trying to figure it out#all in silence as they don’t tell anybody what’s going on which is like the worst thing they could do in that situation#cranboo really was their own worst enemy sometimes and that’s why I love them#they’re so stupid <3#day rambles.dsmp
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SITS HERE
#been slowly swinging a pendulum between bill and beastly all day#and um. sits on the floor. bill is able to read folks as well as junie she just. doesn’t really know what to do#with that. sees how Ethann and Beastly are and is like. hm. I’m. not fond of the way you grew up. but one of you treats the topic as a live#explosive and the other can’t seem to conceptualize how anything was wrong. she’s like. that’s not right. but the fuck could I do abt it.#she’s just lingering in a room with Ethann while the both of them work on deparate things in silence. they’re very close because of the. the#‘shows trust by being nearby and letting themself not pay attention to u’#like the. the making a point to go hey. you’re not a threat to me. and im available if needed.#bill talks to herself while she works sometimes and when she does Ethann comes over to watch. do u fucking KNOW how Ethann is slowly learnin#abt ships and upkeep from this… bill helping him wash grease out of their fur at the end of the night…. beastly doesn’t live with bill ofc#but he’s a regular visitor and bill makes sure to let him know he’s always welcome… sometimes when he’s feeling particularly unmoored her#house is one of the places he goes to find a room to sit in silence for a few hours. maybe nap till things feel a little more real again.#SIGHS ALL BIG#bill 🤝 junie. shes Ur dad#junie is happy for him to be ur mom#bill never signed up for this shit and is sitting there staring into her coffee going hm. wel shit when did that happen. like she’s Gonna be#a helpful figure but she’s also like. when did that happen?
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I will never ever forget or forgive ppl for asking me if I was ever even a furry when they thought that my bf and I were breaking up. That shit was so fucked bc like???? Lmao like yea haha I totally created a fursona and spent hundreds of dollars in commissions in the last couple of years for pretend! It was all a facade! I was only pretending so my bf could like me more! You got me! Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahshahhahahahah🤪🤪🤪
#that shit was so fucked#so many ppl really revealed their tru colors when they thought things were over between us#like I’ve always had my suspicions before but to have them become real was…#also it’s been like idk so months since then like so much time has passed and only like 1 person actually reached out to see how I was doin#that shit sucks sm#like I kno I’m the bad guy in this situation and what I did was super fucked up but like…#idk if you were actually my friend and cared about me and loved me wouldn’t you have at least reached out to be like wtf#and like questioning me or like asking if I’m ok or like telling me what I did was wrong#or like actually telling me your cutting me off#in person or thru text or idk#anything!#anything would have been nice but it’s been radio silence since then#I have not spoken to anyone! except like 3 ppl. and we barely talk at all#but two of those ppl aren’t really a part of the one big group I’m referring to#idk it’s a little fucked#like if someone I loved and cared about did something horrible like idk#I would still talk to them! just to ask what they were thinking they led them to do what they did#bc I still care about them! and I want what’s best for them and idk I still love them#even if it’s unforgivable I would still like to hear why they did it at least#and then cut my ties afterwards if I decide to but i would let them kno#it’s just fucked up bc I didn’t even get any of that from anyone#and I feel like somehow that’s worse#idk it just really makes me not want to continue or even try to repair whatever relationship I had with everyone#I’m just so alone now and like#it’s just so so so depressing#like I really have no one#well I have some ppl but it’s like literally 3 and idk that’s ok but like I wish i had the other ppl I really really loved too#idk it’s hard to stay happy when I spend so much time alone now I miss driving late at night listening to music with friends so much#I do it alone now and I just breakdown#or I try to do it with someone else and it still makes me sad bc the ppl I loved doing it with are ppl I can’t do it with anymore
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#do you think we love each other in every universe?#i dont even think we love each other in this one#having a panick attack over the way the system feels about each other#all of us act like estranged relatives who dont know how to talk to each other#we dont have many conversations in headspace#theres a lot of silence between us and mild complaining when people front but otherwiss#we dont really talk#just kind of stare at each other wide eyed wondering who will make the next move#its so weird to not feel closer to them or more connected in some way#most of the time i have a hard time understand that those parts are still me#i think a lot of people would leave if they were trapped in my brain#they wouldnt want to be here or help me if they could physically walk away from all of this
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my hottest take ever. i think the the christmas danielle incident cld have saved their marriage
#OK IDK MAYBE NOT SAVEDDDDD. but helped.#i love how layered that moment is for bloberta... like at once she realises#1. her husband is cheating 2. with a man 3. with the father of her youngest kid 4. who SHE cheated on CLAY with#like damn. sorry danielle i feel bad for u but what did u expect king#i do wonder which part for her hurts more#AND CLAY DOESNT KNOWWWWW. RIGHT???#interesting that clay and danielle lie to each other and hide so much stilllll. it took 6 months for clay to tell him abt the hunting trip#and even THAT was a lie#but anyways like. i feel like the realisation of what happened on all sides cldddddd lead to a small breakthru for them#u know like. blobertas heart is broken here too really. she did love danielle and to realise he just used her to get to clay is pretty awfu#i feel like this would be the point she wld reveal danielle is shapeys father too. like out of spite#but maybe that also makes it easier in a way for clay...? seeing how danielle fucked with his marriage just to get to him#idk does anyone see the vision. shared pain lets get thru this shit togetherrrrrrr bro <3#like theres no more to hide here.#also like. with clay KIND OF finally admitting to his sexuality. even tho hes still Odd about it#thats a big deal. in terms of how it changes their marriage dynamic#IM THINKING OF FALSETTOS AGAIN SORRY. but its trueeeee#idk if they WOULD ever actually talk abt any of this. they sure wld fight abt it but idk if they wld.... Realise#but its nice to imagine. divorce happy ending#orel shared custody shapey and block w bloberta full time. u get it#<- happened to me. kind of#also i knowwwwww that drive back home from danielles was crazy tense. bloberta driving one million mph in stone cold silence#also also giggling imagining orel having to sit in the middle between shapey and block w them like kicking her and shit. like the first ep#thats just in general btw. i think its funny for orel to sit in the middle despite being oldest and biggest
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Things Real People Do in Dialogue (For Your Next Story)
Okay, let’s be real—dialogue can make or break a scene. You want your characters to sound natural, like actual humans talking, not robots reading a script. So, how do you write dialogue that feels real without it turning into a mess of awkward pauses and “ums”? Here’s a little cheat sheet of what real people actually do when they talk (and you can totally steal these for your next story):
1. People Interrupt Each Other All the Time In real conversations, nobody waits for the perfect moment to speak. We interrupt, cut each other off, and finish each other's sentences. Throw in some overlaps or interruptions in your dialogue to make it feel more dynamic and less like a rehearsed play.
2. They Don’t Always Say What They Mean Real people are masters of dodging. They’ll say one thing but mean something totally different (hello, passive-aggressive banter). Or they’ll just avoid the question entirely. Let your characters be vague, sarcastic, or just plain evasive sometimes—it makes their conversations feel more layered.
3. People Trail Off... We don’t always finish our sentences. Sometimes we just... stop talking because we assume the other person gets what we’re trying to say. Use that in your dialogue! Let a sentence trail off into nothing. It adds realism and shows the comfort (or awkwardness) between characters.
4. Repeating Words Is Normal In real life, people repeat words when they’re excited, nervous, or trying to make a point. It’s not a sign of bad writing—it’s how we talk. Let your characters get a little repetitive now and then. It adds a rhythm to their speech that feels more genuine.
5. Fillers Are Your Friends People say "um," "uh," "like," "you know," all the time. Not every character needs to sound polished or poetic. Sprinkle in some filler words where it makes sense, especially if the character is nervous or thinking on their feet.
6. Not Everyone Speaks in Complete Sentences Sometimes, people just throw out fragments instead of complete sentences, especially when emotions are high. Short, choppy dialogue can convey tension or excitement. Instead of saying “I really think we need to talk about this,” try “We need to talk. Now.”
7. Body Language Is Part of the Conversation Real people don’t just communicate with words; they use facial expressions, gestures, and body language. When your characters are talking, think about what they’re doing—are they fidgeting? Smiling? Crossing their arms? Those little actions can add a lot of subtext to the dialogue without needing extra words.
8. Awkward Silences Are Golden People don’t talk non-stop. Sometimes, they stop mid-conversation to think, or because things just got weird. Don’t be afraid to add a beat of awkward silence, a long pause, or a meaningful look between characters. It can say more than words.
9. People Talk Over Themselves When They're Nervous When we’re anxious, we tend to talk too fast, go back to rephrase what we just said, or add unnecessary details. If your character’s nervous, let them ramble a bit or correct themselves. It’s a great way to show their internal state through dialogue.
10. Inside Jokes and Shared History Real people have history. Sometimes they reference something that happened off-page, or they share an inside joke only they get. This makes your dialogue feel lived-in and shows that your characters have a life beyond the scene. Throw in a callback to something earlier, or a joke only two characters understand.
11. No One Explains Everything People leave stuff out. We assume the person we’re talking to knows what we’re talking about, so we skip over background details. Instead of having your character explain everything for the reader’s benefit, let some things go unsaid. It’ll feel more natural—and trust your reader to keep up!
12. Characters Have Different Voices Real people don’t all talk the same way. Your characters shouldn’t either! Pay attention to their unique quirks—does one character use slang? Does another speak more formally? Maybe someone’s always cutting people off while another is super polite. Give them different voices and patterns of speech so their dialogue feels authentic to them.
13. People Change the Subject In real life, conversations don’t always stay on track. People get sidetracked, jump to random topics, or avoid certain subjects altogether. If your characters are uncomfortable or trying to dodge a question, let them awkwardly change the subject or ramble to fill the space.
14. Reactions Aren’t Always Immediate People don’t always respond right away. They pause, they think, they hesitate. Sometimes they don’t know what to say, and that delay can speak volumes. Give your characters a moment to process before they respond—it’ll make the conversation feel more natural.
Important note: Please don’t use all of these tips in one dialogue at once.
#creative writing#writing#writblr#writing advice#writers block#writers on tumblr#WritingTips#AmWriting#DialogueWriting#RealisticDialogue#CharacterDevelopment#WritingAdvice#FictionWriting#WritingRealism#WritingProcess#WritingCraft#WritersOfTumblr#WriterCommunity#CreativeWriting#Storytelling#WritingDialogue
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i love how much you talk in tags. i love reading your words and how you talk and what about. might sound strange but its true. i like your mouth words dawg.
Technically, they're finger words.
#gonna finish answering in the tags#im so glad someone cares ab all my ridiculous tag rambles#so thank uu <3#i remember i found the 30 tag limit almost immediately upon returning to tumblr and was like#oh shit i gotta turn down the verbosity? i thought this was the blogging site!#the only platform that encourages ppl to make comments in the tags but only if u show some restraint#mf ill show u restraint im gonna hit that 30 tag limit into next week#get outta here w that nonsense#anyway#its like i can talk somewhere between loud and clear speaking voice (text post) and whisper (read more)#tags is like the chill moment when ur hangin out w someone late at night just doing ur own thing and occasionally being like#'haha this post just said [x]' 'haha nice' and then back to comfortable silence#occasionally its the 'omGG HAHAHA CHECK THIS OUT' and it disturbs the peace which is fun#even if most of it is just me rambling to myself its like that same feeling to me#chill no filter late night thoughts at any hour#or maybe im biased bc im getting rly sleepy rn and thats the vibe im getting from this ramble#ok tone shift im getting a spicy hot take/ides and im just gonna put it here instead of bury it in the graveyard of my wips#tw puppet talk ahead#so you know that movie Teeth#wouldnt it be fucked up if the ssme concept applied to puppets intended to be manipulated with an arm inside them#you do something the puppet doesnt like and you get the nom#ok sry i was aiming for 30 tags im falling asleep rm gotta cutbit short#snknjmkjmmmmm#anonyymkud#annonynkus#anonymous#askdx#asked#puppets#mentions
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Crushes are wild this shit sucks
#never doing this again#it's been like 5 years since my last crush#and now this guy is gonna be out of my life within the next two weeks#and i vow to never have even a friendship crush on anyone again#why would i want to want to be friends with someone if they're gonna leave my life in that between stage#where im close enough to them that i'll miss them#but not close enough that they'll want to stay in touch with me#i know he doesn't like me as much as i like him#i know it#god i would talk to him for hours#or just sit with him in silence#because it's never awkward#it's just comfortable#im going to miss him so much#and that is so silly#i made it 25 years without him#knew him for 4 months#met him in person < 15 times#and now im gonna be sick because that's all i'll ever see him#absolutely unhinged#ridiculous#i feel like a teenage girl
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - ONE
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: none (angst) chapter two┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four
The bass from the speakers rattled the glass in your hand as you leaned against the porch railing, eyes scanning the backyard for him—Rafe.
It had been a long month.
Longer than you thought it would be. Usually, when you and Rafe had your little “breaks,” they lasted about a week, maybe two at most. It was always something stupid, a screaming match that ended with slammed doors and his truck peeling out of your driveway. But it never lasted. It couldn’t. You’d known each other too long, been through too much, and deep down, there was this unspoken truth—he’d always come back. Or, you would.
But this time was different.
This time, he wasn’t calling or showing up at your window in the middle of the night, eyes tired and sorry, pulling you into his arms. The space between you had been growing wider since his dad died. And sure, maybe it was your fault for what you said after Ward’s death—But it was the truth.
Still, you hadn’t expected him to shut you out completely. Two months. Two months of silence. And the only thing you’d heard about him since was through Ruthie, Topper’s new girlfriend, of all people. A random comment at Mase’s place—something about how Rafe had been hanging around some pogue girl named Sofia.
You’d rolled your eyes at that. Rafe? With some Pogue? Yeah, right. You’d pretended not to care when she tossed it out like it was nothing
You weren’t stupid.
You’d always known Rafe wasn’t the easiest guy to love. He was complicated, angry, reckless—but so were you. And in some messed-up way, that’s why you two worked. Or at least, why you thought you did. You were just as stubborn, just as damaged. But now, as you sipped your drink and looked around, something felt off. Your gut was tight, and that nagging feeling that’d been growing restless under your skin since the breakup only grew stronger the longer you stood there.
You pushed yourself off the railing, discarding your drink on a table before moving through the crowd, past people you knew but didn’t bother with. Your mind was set on one thing—Rafe. You were done with the break. You had your space. It’s time to get back together. It was never even really a question. It was just the way things worked with you two.
But then there was Ruthie—blocking your path, her wide smile dripping with the kind of smugness that set your teeth on edge. She looked like she was reveling in your misery and that little giggle she let out only made it worse.
"So glad you could make it!" she sang out, her voice too sweet, too bright. Her eyes flickered over you like she was sizing you up, taking stock of every inch of your perfectly put-together outfit.
You forced a smile, “Yeah, well, wouldn’t miss a party like this,” you said, keeping your tone casual.
You weren’t in the mood for whatever game she was playing.
“Oh, I just bet,” she replied, her smile growing wider. She stepped closer, her breath reeking of cheap wine, and you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. Ruthie always drank too much at these things.
What the hell was her problem? She always acted like she knew something you didn’t, like she held the keys to all the dirty little secrets in Kildare, and she loved dangling them in front of people just to watch them squirm.
“Ruthie, I swear to God—” you began, but she cut you off, her grin widening.
“Oh, honey,” she cooed, her voice dripping with fake sympathy, “don’t get mad at me. I’m just the messenger. You should really be talking to Rafe about this.” She took a step back, still smiling, and glanced over her shoulder. “He’s around, you know. You can go find him yourself. See how cozy he’s gotten with her.”
You bit your tongue, jaw, forcing yourself to stay calm. She was trying to get under your skin, like the snake she’d always been. You couldn’t believe Top was lonely and horny enough to finally fall into her claws.
“Thanks for the tip,” you gave her a tight lipped grimace, brushing past her, didn’t try and wait for her reply.
You only caught glimpses of empty rooms along the way. You hadn’t seen him since the break, and part of you didn’t want to admit how much that messed you up. How much he messed you up. Your steps slowed as you neared the hall that led to the back of the house, the sound of voices filtering through the air. You recognized some, laughed at the drunken ramblings, until one voice cut through the noise. Rafe’s.
And then you heard hers. No fucking way.
You didn’t stop. You couldn’t. You told yourself you just needed to see him, just talk to him, tell him this break had gone on long enough, that you were done with the games. That’s when you heard it again—her laugh. It was light, flirtatious, the kind of laugh that made your stomach turn into a million different directions because you knew exactly what it meant.
She was there, with him.
You moved forward, the hallway barely lit as you reached the half-closed bathroom door. Your breath hitched, hands trembling as you peeked through the small crack, unable to stop yourself from looking.
There they were.
She was smiling, laughing softly at something he’d said, her fingers brushing through her hair as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his hands move, tying the knot in her bikini with such gentle precision like he’d done it a thousand times. The kind of softness he used to have with you. And then he said it, his voice teasing, amused like this was some kind of inside joke between them.
"God, this is just landing right in my lap, isn’t it?"
You froze.
He laughed quietly, his lips brushing against Sofia’s shoulder as he tied the last knot, and the way he touched her—like she was something to be savored—sent a rush of pure, burning humiliation straight through your chest.
You stumbled back, your heart pounding in your ears as Rafe’s words repeated over and over in your head. Landing right in my lap. What the fuck was this?
Your heart clenched, vision blurring as what you were seeing slammed right into you. You backed away, your hand flying to your mouth to stop the sob from escaping. But it didn’t help. Not even à little. The tears burned, and you turned quickly, practically running back through the house and out the door before anyone could see the humiliating mess you were becoming.
It was real. He moved on. In two fucking months.
That’s all it had taken for him to replace you. To be done with you. He was over you. Just like that.
After everything you’d been through together, after all the times you had to pull him out of his own darkness, after the nights spent in his arms when you thought you couldn’t breathe because your whole family was gone—after years of being his and him being yours—how the fuck could he move on when you’d been rotting away in self loathing for pushing him away?
Your head spun as you stumbled down the steps, out to the street where your car was parked. You couldn’t breathe. Your breaths were coming out too fast, too shallow, and your hands were shaking so hard you had to press them against your knees to hold yourself up.
What the hell was wrong with you? You hadn’t even had anything to drink.
But your stomach was rolling, twisting in knots so tight you could barely stand straight. You leaned against the side of your car, the cool metal grounding you to reality for a second before a wave of nausea hit, forcing you to double over and retch onto the pavement. Tears stung your eyes as you coughed, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
You felt dizzy, disgusted even, everything you thought you knew, everything you thought was yours, had been ripped out from under you.
Without a single warning. Not a text, not a stupid call, just pure indifference. No respect or regard for you. None of them. Everything you’d just seen replayed in your mind—Rafe, her, the way he touched her like she meant something to him.
“Look who’s still standing!” Topper’s voice. He was laughing as he strolled over, hands shoved in his pockets, that same carefree grin on his face that he always had at parties. “Jesus, what did you have to drink? You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”
Normally, you might have had something to say back, maybe a fiery insult or a roll of your eyes. But right now, everything felt like too much. You couldn’t say a word. You could barely breathe.
Your cousin stopped beside you, his grin dropping as he finally looked at you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He leaned down, trying to catch your eyes. “You good? You look kinda—"
You cut him off, the question was heavy, like a lump lodged in your throat. “Did you know?”
He blinked, the confusion spreading across his face. “Know what?”
You swallowed, your heart hammering in your chest as you forced the words out, your voice shaking. “About Rafe and Sofia.”
You hated saying her name.
Hated that you’d been forced to know it by heart. Topper’s smile dropped, his expression changing.
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to, you knew him well enough to read his micro expressions. You clenched your fists, it felt like you were the only one in the island who’d been let out of the secret.
Surely, your friends, your only family would’ve told you something right? It’s not like you were on a remote island away from them. You’d spent the last month in New York, not in the fucking jungle. You visited occasionally. You were a call away.
“Did everyone fucking know?”
Topper exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, we didn’t think it was serious. You know how it is with you two—you’ve done this before. Played with other people…”
Played with other people. Like you and Rafe were just some game, a revolving door of heartbreak and hookups. It didn’t make sense. You’d always known how it worked, understood how these things went—sure, you’d had your minor flings, and he’d had his, but it was never real.
You stumbled back, feeling like you might collapse. “Oh my God, I’m going to be sick again.”
He reached out, obviously concerned since he hadn’t seen you in this desperate state in years, “Hey, hey, calm down. Look, it’s not like it means anything. Rafe’s just—he’s going through a lot with his dad dying, and he… he’s just messing around. You know how he gets.”
But the words did nothing to soothe you. They only made it worse—how everyone knew. How they’d all watched Rafe move on, while you were stuck, still reeling from the breakup, thinking he’d come back like he always did. And he was just out there, with her.
With someone else. You pressed a hand to your stomach, your head hurting. The idea of Sofia, of Rafe being with someone else in ways that only you knew—ways that had always been yours—made you feel like you were being torn apart.
Topper was still talking, still trying to rationalize it, but his words were like static now, blending into the noise of the party behind you. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he was saying. “You know how it goes. You always end up back together. He’s just doing whatever to distract himself.”
That word. Distract himself. Like your entire relationship could be boiled down to that—a series of distractions until you decided to come back to each other, to pick up the pieces and pretend everything was okay.
You could still remember the night your life changed—the phone call, the horrible, gut-wrenching moment when you learned that your family’s private plane had gone down. Your parents. Your sister. Gone. Just like that. And Rafe had been the one to pull you through it. He was the one who had held you as you cried so hard you thought you were going to die, who sat with you in silence when you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, who stayed with you every single night because you were terrified to be alone in a haunted mansion that now felt like a mausoleum.
You had been seventeen, and losing them all at once had killed something inside of you. But he was there. He wasn’t perfect—far from it—but he knew what it was like to grieve.
He knew loss. He understood. Because you’d been there for him two years earlier, when his mom lost her battle to cancer. You could still see the look in his eyes that day—fourteen years old and already drowning in so much anger and sadness, like the world had ripped something essential out of him.
The way he cried at her funeral when he thought no one was watching, and you’d found him, sat beside him in the cold, letting him cry without saying a word. You hadn’t started dating yet, hadn’t crossed that line, but something had changed between you two in those moments.
A connection, a bond forged in shared pain, in the kind of trauma that no one else really got. Maybe that was why you were so obsessed with each other. Maybe it was fucked up, but you couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding you the way Rafe did.
How could it all come down to this? To you standing here, feeling like the world was ending while he moved on, laughing and touching someone else like nothing you had ever been through mattered?
Was that it? Did that one moment, that one argument about Ward, erase everything you’d done for him?
All the times you’d been there, the way you had comforted him when he felt like his life was spiraling? You remembered exactly what you’d said a month after the funeral, when your boyfriend blamed everyone but Ward for his own death. "He wasn’t a good person, baby. I know he was your dad, but you can’t pretend like he didn’t fuck you up."
You hadn’t even said it to hurt him, not really. It was just the truth. Ward had been a terrible father, controlling and manipulative, and you’d spent years watching Rafe try to live up to some impossible standard, chasing his father’s approval like it would ever be enough. But that didn’t make it easier for him to hear. You should have known better. You should have known how raw he was after losing his dad, how complicated his feelings were.
But instead, you’d been brutal. Honest, but brutal.
And now, two months later, here you were—staring at the empty street, wondering if you’d pushed him too far. If that one moment of honesty was enough to make him forget everything else. Now you were just the ex, the crazy one who didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.
“Fuck, why did I say that?” you whispered to yourself, voice shaking. Why couldn’t you have just let it go?
But then another clarity of anger took over you, pushing away the guilt that had been building inside. So you’d been too harsh about Ward. So you’d said what everyone else had been too scared to say. It wasn’t like you’d been wrong. Ward had messed Rafe up.
Everyone knew it. He knew it, deep down.
You gritted your teeth, staring out at the dark street, the low hum of the party still buzzing faintly behind you. You were never going to get that picture out of your head. Like they hadn’t just met, like you hadn’t spent years learning how to calm Rafe when he spiraled, how to hold him together when he couldn’t hold himself.
Your chest tightened again, a bitter taste rising in your throat.
You could still feel the weight of his head on your shoulder that night, years ago, when his mom passed. The silent sobs that shook his body, the way he’d held onto you. That was the real Rafe—the one he hid from everyone else. The one who was lost and broken underneath all the anger. And you’d seen him, really seen him in ways no one else ever could. Not Sofia. Not anyone.
"Look, you're emotional, okay? I get it. Maybe it's that time of the month or something. You know how you always get when your hormones go crazy."
The words got to you, but not in the way he probably thought they would. At first, it pissed you off, like it always did when people tried to downplay your emotions. Everyone always said you felt too much. That you were out of control.
But then…
You stopped moving, blinking rapidly as his words spiraled around in your brain. ‘Time of the month’, he'd said.
Your heart started doing summersaults, your stomach dropping as the idea settled in. You grabbed your phone, hands trembling like leaves as you opened the calendar app. You scrolled, trying to think, trying to remember when you’d last…fuck.
You hadn’t had your period in… so long.
Almost two months. No. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some kind of fucked up joke.
You felt light-headed as you reached for your car again, your body shaking so badly you could barely stand against the door. "Shit."
How could you not have noticed?
Topper noticed the change in you instantly, his brow furrowing. "What’s wrong with you?" he asked, his tone softening a little. "You okay?"
You couldn’t even form a sentence. Your brain was too full of what-ifs. Two months late.
You hadn't even thought about it until now—everything had taken so much space in your head that you hadn't noticed the most obvious sign. This wasn’t possible. Your hand flew to your stomach, almost instinctively. You had no idea what to do with the panic creeping up your throat.
“Shit,” You hissed, this time louder, trying to push the growing dread down. But it wouldn't go away.
He was still staring at you, “What? What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
But you were already backing away, shaking your head, “I—I need to go,” You mumbled, barely hearing yourself.
Your cousin moved quickly to block your path as you tried to make your way toward the door. That kind of protective streak only made you want to shove past him even more.
"You’re not driving in this state." he warned you, voice firm, his hands up like he was trying to physically stop you.
You just glared at him, “Fucking watch me.”
He didn’t budge. "You get in that car and I'm calling Rafe," he said, sounding dead serious.
You couldn’t believe it. Your head was already spinning, and he was trying to guilt-trip you like this was some kind of helpful thing to do? You threw your hands up in frustration, voice rising, cracking. "He’s too busy fucking Sofia. Knock yourself out."
The words felt like venom in your mouth, the bitterness rolling off your tongue. You didn’t care how harsh they sounded. You didn’t care about anything anymore except getting away from this suffocating stupid place. Before he could say anything else, you made your move. You pushed past him with all your strength, chest hurting with the urge to feel something other than this suffocating mess of emotions and confusion.
Your hands shook as you fumbled for your keys. You managed to unlock the door, sliding into the driver’s seat, the cool leather biting into your skin.
You needed to think. But all you could think about was that one, terrifying realization: you might be pregnant.
Your breath hitched, terror swirling around your chest. The calendar app was still open on your phone, the dates staring back at you like a flashing red warning sign, daring you to confront the truth you’d been ignoring. Two months. Two months without a period. And you hadn’t even noticed. You pressed a hand to your stomach again, heart pounding as if it was trying to escape your chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not like this.
You weren’t thinking clearly—shit, you weren’t thinking at all, but you couldn’t stay here. Not with Topper trying to baby you, not with him out there, living his best life like you didn’t even exist.
You turned the key, the engine roaring to life, and just as you gripped the wheel, ready to peel out of the driveway, Topper bolted in front of the car, planting himself right there like some kind of human roadblock. Fucking idiot. His arms were stretched out wide, like he could somehow stop you by sheer willpower.
“You’re not doing this, I swear to God, you’re not!” he yelled, his voice frantic, echoing off the dark street. He looked panicked, pleading even, like he was convinced you’d actually go through with it.
You gritted your teeth, eyes narrowing on him through the windshield. “Top, I swear, you have three seconds before I run you over.”
“Are you serious right now?” he yelled, his voice cracking with disbelief. But he didn’t move. “You think I’m letting you drive like this? You’re out of your fuckin’ mind!”
Your fingers gripping the wheel so hard it hurt. You weren’t bluffing. You were too wound up, too out of control. The only thing keeping you from flooring him was the fact that, deep down, you knew your cousin didn’t deserve it.
You just needed to get out of here.
“Move!” you screamed, “I’m not joking’, Topper. Get the fuck out of my way!”
His face twisted with frustration as he looked over his shoulder, something catching his attention. He started waving, yelling at someone, his voice cutting through the night, “Rafe! Dude, get over here!”
Your brain stopped. It was like everything had been sucked out of you. Your hands froze on the wheel, your entire body locking up as you looked to your right and saw him—Rafe. Right there in the yard.
And she was with him. He had his arm draped around her casually, like she belonged there.
Like he belonged there, just standing in the open, so stupidly comfortable in his new life. His head turned when he heard Topper call out, and your eyes locked for a less than a second. A moment too long. A moment that broke something inside you.
While Topper was distracted, his attention on Rafe, you made your move. You slammed your foot on the gas, tires screeching as the car lurched forward, swerving just enough to dodge Topper’s stunned figure. You heard him yell after you, but his voice faded into the background noise as you sped away.
You didn’t look back. Not at Top, not at Rafe.
The only thing you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else. You hated this. Hated that you were crying. Hated that you’d let yourself get to this point.
“God, what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice quavering as the words tumbled out. “Why the fuck am I crying over him? I shouldn’t be crying over him.” You slammed your palm against the steering wheel, angry, disgusted with yourself.
You’d told yourself you were stronger than this—that after everything you’d been through, you didn’t need him or anyone else. But here you were, falling apart like some pathetic excuse of a mess because of him. Because he had always been there, hadn’t he? After the crash, after you lost everything, he was the one constant, the one person who kept you from completely losing it. You’d relied on him so much. Too much.
“Fuck,” you hissed, tears streaming down your face. Your throat burned as the memories came flooding back, memories of all the nights you’d spent together, of him holding you while you cried yourself to sleep, of the way he’d pulled you out of the gloom when you thought you’d never get back up again. You thought he’d always be that person for you, the one who understood your broken pieces because he had his own. You’d always fit together perfectly.
You pulled into the parking lot of the nearest drugstore, your hands still shaking as you put the car in park. The tears had dried up on the drive over, replaced by a cold determination. You didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to even think about what you were about to do.
The moment you stepped out of your car and into the harsh fluorescent lighting of the drugstore, you felt completely out of place—like a stranger in your own skin. You hadn’t even thought about how ridiculous you must’ve looked until you caught your reflection in one of the store’s glass windows. Your hair, still perfect from earlier, framed your face in soft waves, and your makeup was flawless, despite the crying. The designer dress you were wearing—sleek, red, and worth more than half the shit in this store—with its sticky floors and white lights, it made you feel like an alien. Like you didn’t belong.
You caught the eyes of a couple of people loitering outside the entrance as you walked in, their stares lingering a little too long, murmuring to each other behind smirks. You knew they were talking about you. They always did, kook queen, overdressed, out of touch, bitch, whatever they wanted to call you.
The sliding doors let out a grating beep as you entered, and the air inside was stale and heavy, reeking of floor cleaner and cheap perfume. You adjusted your grip on your purse, strutting past the aisles with your head high even though everything inside you felt like it was falling apart.
You always did this—dressed to kill, head up, like armor. But there was no real glamour in buying pregnancy tests from some random pharmacy in the middle of the night. No way to mask the deep, growing hysteria in your bones.
The girl behind the register clocked you the second you stepped up to the counter, her eyes dragging over your like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. You could almost hear her thoughts: What the hell is someone like you doing here?
You didn’t even look at her. You just wanted to pay and leave without a scene. But of course, people always found a way to make things worse. She hesitated before scanning the tests, looking like she might say something. For her own good, you prayed she didn’t.
You threw the money on the counter before she could open her mouth, two crisp hundreds on top of the total. The cash hit the counter with a sharp thwap and you gave her the bitchiest look you could muster. “Take it. Keep your fucking mouth shut.”
She swallowed hard, her hand trembling as she slid the bills into the register. You didn’t care that she was young or nervous. You weren’t here to make friends. You weren’t here for anyone’s sympathy. The extra money would make sure she didn’t talk, that was all that mattered.
You walked out, your heels clicking against the linoleum, head high, even though every nerve in your body screamed for you to disappear. You slid into your truck, slamming the door shut, the silence finally hitting you. For all the designer clothes, the makeup, the money—none of it meant shit right now. You felt so small. So scared. Terribly lonely.
You sat there for what felt like forever, staring at the stupid bag in the passenger seat like it had the power to ruin your whole life—which, to be fair, it kind of did. You didn’t know what the fuck you were going to do. Not about any of it.
Your foot tapped nervously against the floor mat, the sound too loud in the quiet car. The bag crinkled as you glanced at it again, your stomach twisting all over again. A bunch of pregnancy tests. How had it come to this?
Rafe. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to think about him, not to picture his face when he found out. If he found out. Shit, what the hell was he going to do? He was with Sofia now, right? So was this going to ruin his life too? Did he even deserve to know?
It was probably nothing, you told yourself. Maybe the separation anxiety had gotten to you. Maybe your body was just fucked up from all the stress. Maybe your period was just late because you’d been so all over the place lately. There could be a million reasons. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if it wasn’t nothing.
You didn’t want to cry anymore. Not after all of this. Not over Rafe. Not over your life turning into some fucking soap opera you didn’t even want to be a part of.
The second you were inside your house, the walls closed in around you. Your perfectly decorated place—the one you’d spent so much time making into a refuge, an escape—it didn’t feel like that anymore. Every designer pillow, every carefully chosen piece of art, mocking you.
Your phone buzzed in your bag, you reached for it. Of course, it was Rafe.
“I don’t know what the fuck that was but save the fucking dramatics, okay?”
The nerve. The fucking nerve of him to act like he was the center of your universe, acting like you were some inconvenience. Months of silence and this was the first thing he decided to text you? Knowing how much you despised when people called you a drama queen? Fucking piece of shit.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, a thousand different responses running through your mind. You wanted to tell him to shove something up his ass. But you did the only thing that felt right in that moment.
You blocked him. You stared at your phone, half expecting it to buzz again, half dreading that it wouldn’t. It was done. You cut him off, at least in that tiny, virtual way. You sat there for a minute, gripping the phone, trying to remember how to breathe.
This was supposed to feel empowering, right? You told yourself it would. That cutting him out would help you get back some control. But your mind wouldn’t settle. Those damn pregnancy tests were sitting in the bag next to you.
You were tired.
Exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with how late it was or how emotionally spent you were. You kicked off your heels, letting them clatter against the hardwood floor as you sank into the plush couch. Your house felt cold and unwelcoming tonight. Like a showroom. No comfort to be found. Not here, not in the muted tones of beige and white. Not in the sleek lines of furniture that were supposed to exude elegance and sophistication.
Maybe tomorrow you’d feel differently.
Maybe you’d wake up with a clear head, ready to take the stupid tests. Maybe you’d be strong again like you’d been so many times before.
Tonight, you were just tired. You leaned back against the cushions, closing your eyes for a moment, willing the noise in your head to quiet down. Sleep. That’s what you needed. Just a few hours to clear your mind, and in the morning, you’d deal with everything.
All of this would go away.
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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