#all of y’all’s ideas are incredible I’ve just not had enough spoons to work on anything besides housework recently

[stealingyourbones]

(Hands you a chimera skeleton made from a cat skeleton with added bat wings and a small snake as a tail, bought at a secondhand shop)

Jason had a weird month. He got a new pet after it flew into his window, and got quite attatched to the little bat. He named it Spooky since it was snow white and scared the piss out of Bruce whenever he tried to visit. Spooky was weird, way too friendly and used to people to be wild, so maybe an escaped pet? Not that any of that matteted when Damian returned from training with the Titans and demanded to meet Spooky. Jason might not know anything about pets, but Damian immediatly knew this thing wasn't a normal bat.

Meanwhile Danny was nervous. His training with Amorpho had taught him how to shapeshift, only having trouble getting the colors right. After running from the GIW and ending up in Gotham he figured no one would look twice at a bat. But he was so tired he flew right into a window! Jason was nice though. Hopefully Robin won't figure him out before he finished clearing al that rotten ecto out of Jason first!

:0 oh this is positively adorable.

Jason hasn’t researched bat behavior too closely but Damian sees that Spooky is very excited for social interaction and pets and just knows that something is off with this lil guy.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 109

Happy Spooptober, everyone!

I’ve been planning since about February to do another camping trip this month, for the season.  I was super fortunately back in May to have some stories left over to share, that I didn’t have the opportunity for last time.  So thanks go to @catolicabuena for your submission, and to @dierotenixe for the PERFECT character to add to this chapter.

As always, thanks go to @zazen-rabbit, @baelpenrose, and @charlylimph-blog for being the beta readers and cheering section I need every day, no matter what.

As a reward for the clear, focused argument Charly gave in favor of Shalt-kri’i/Ekomari hostilities being over cultural misunderstandings earned her a reward of her choice.  I don’t know what Arthur expected, but part of me expected her to ask him something like throwing the class a party, showing up to teach class in sparkly footie-pajamas.  Her response, instead, left me convinced there was a conspiracy between her, Conor, and other mysterious parties to keep track of the Terran holidays.

“It’s almost Halloween,” she immediately pointed out. 

How? How did she say that so certainly? I wasn’t even sure it was Friday.

Oblivious to my thoughts, she tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Today’s Tuesday - “ See!? “Which means Halloween is just under two weeks away? I think?”

“Your guess is probably better than mine,” I admitted. “Between the extra long days, artificial light, and consistent temperatures, I have no idea anymore.”

“She’s spot on,” Tyche confirmed, without even looking up.  We were sitting in my living room, digging into ice cream while all the guys were at work.

“How - “ I sputtered. “How are y’all keeping track of this?”

Tyche rolled her eyes, while Charly snagged my wrist and shook it. When my datapad popped up, she gave me the deadest stare I had ever seen on her face. “There is a calendar on this thing. You do know that, right?”

My face and neck burned so hot, I was surprised my hair didn’t catch on fire. “I keep it on the daily view, so I can see all my appointments.”

“Which is why she has me and Alistair,” my sister pointed out lazily before scooping up another spoonful of dessert. “By the way, this pumpkin ice cream is pretty good.”

I nodded, having had a scoop earlier.  We had been trying every flavor we could think of.  

True to form, Charly’s was a screaming purple that honestly scared me, sprinkled with gummy bears and some kind of acid-green syrup. Every time she leaned my direction, I couldn’t repress the flinch. “Pumpkin is a good point. We should go camping again, and carve pumpkins.”

I could almost feel my ears pick up. “You mean like jack-o-lanterns?”

“Duhhhhh,” she scooped up a large enough bite to convince me it probably wasn’t toxic. “I know we can’t have open flames in the lab, but we can still put emitters in them.”

“Where are we even going to get pumpkins in time?” Neither woman would look at me. “What did y’all do?”  I sighed.

“We did nothing,” Tyche insisted, chin jutting out stubbornly. “Now Sam….”

An audible smack sounded when I dropped my forehead to my palm. “How big?”

Charly gave me the widest puppy-dog eyes she could. “How big are what?”

“The pumpkins…”

“Pretty big,” Tyche smirked. “I don’t think I’ve seen even you carve any this big, honestly.”

I wasn’t a professional carver by any means, or even competitive, but I had done some pretty big ones in the past, so I was a little excited to see these.

 A couple nights later, sure enough, several of us were carrying our camping gear to the now-less-eerie clearing where our previous camping trip had taken place.  Even though Sam had decided not to join us, we were greeted by the sight of six enormous pumpkins around the edges of the space.  In awe, I approached one and ran my hand over it - I actually had to lift my hand, seeing as the thing came nearly up to my hips. “How long has he been growing these?” I asked.

“Just over three months?” Conor huffed, setting down our gear. “The things love our best guess of Von’s environment, turns out.”

“No shit,” I whispered before clearing my throat. “I don’t think we have large enough containers for the guts and everything in these.”  The deal with camping in the Lab was that we had to take out everything brought in with or for us.  While Grey agreed to allow the jack-o-lanterns to decorate the area for the next two weeks - ostensibly as a study of decomposition - if we couldn’t remove the waste from the pumpkins, we couldn’t carve them.

Something that felt like plastic beaned me in the face. While I rubbed my face, I glanced down at my feet where whatever-it-was fell. 

Maverick started apologizing before I could figure out what I was looking at. “Oh god, Sophia, I’m sorry! I meant to toss that on top of the pumpkin!”

With a joking scowl, I glanced at the vegetable between us. “How bad does your aim have to be to miss that thing?”

“Are you okay?”

“Only if you tell me what just hit me in the forehead?”  I tried leaning over to pick them up again, but Conor beat me to it.

“They’re composting bags,” Maverick admitted. “I brought them just in case. They were the only thing large enough and portable enough to at least get in here.”

“It looks like a roll of garbage bags,” Simon pointed out skeptically, poking the roll of pseudo-plastic Conor was holding.

Conor smiled and shrugged. “Pretty similar.”

Soon, we were spreading out and setting up our gear in  a familiar pattern. Just as the last bit of gear was stuffed into the tents or spread on the ground, Antoine’s head snapped up and over his shoulder. “Does anyone else hear that?”

Silence fell as we strained our ears to listen.  The others started looking around, searching for something, before I was able to actually catch what they were hearing.  Finally, I was able to hear what sounded like music, but it was in a minor key that sent shivers up my spine.  It was another minute or so before I could make out words drifting through the trees. 

“ -  a year, and then

A few weeks, doubled, and tripled again,

A fire was struck by a warrior’s band

Meant for food, warmth, and a place to stand”

“What the - “ Tyche started wandering toward the music, clearly expecting us to follow. “It’s beautiful, but so sad.”

Reluctantly, I followed, reminding myself that this was a lab, that the faerie ring we were standing in was manufactured as a prank.

 “Yet one bough too many was placed inside

The flames roared to life as they screamed and cried

Tore down the trees as the warriors fled

And only ceased by the river’s bed

 The warriors slain, charred skulls and bone

Have remained in the forest for years, alone

Yet a magic imbued in their ashen remains

That entered a child who hid in great pain”

 I glanced over my shoulder, and saw about half our group behind me, including - “Arthur, why do you have your sword?”

“Because it’s steel,” he shrugged, like that actually answered my question. “Which means it has iron in it, and we’re in space, so any fucked up space-fae might not know the difference.”

 “In order to warn those who may stay

In the trees embrace, and walk away

The girl reads the thoughts of those who stand

On the ashes of noses, bowels, and hands

 She sends them away with a haunted scream

That tears into souls with a power unseen

No one has entered who has not fled

Only to drown in the river’s bed”

 Because that line was reassuring as I realized we were getting toward the artificial lake. Totally want to hear about drowning in a river bed, on a Halloween camping trip, sang by a creepy voice I didn’t recognize.  A voice that we were steadily getting closer to, no less.

 “For what place is safer from fire and flame

Than the rushing of water, a power untamed

The danger evaded, the human is saved

As their lungs are filled with a liquid depraved

 To step foot in the forest is to invite death

For though the child has drawn their last breath…”

 Tyche came to a sudden stop, both hands abruptly on her hips.  She glanced back at me, one eyebrow arched, and twitched her head toward the lake.  The voice was incredibly close to us at this point, so I peeked past her as carefully as I could.

Even in the low light of the BioLab during simulated-night, I saw a bright gleam of silver trailing through the water, interrupted only by a thick, red-gold cable draped halfway down.

“Their soul remains as though chained to the ground,” Nixe smiled with her eyes as she wound the song to a close. “And they’ll tear you apart until you are drowned.”

“Very funny,” Tyche half-scolded. “You did that on purpose.”

A lazy flick of her tail accompanied a cool glance over the surface of the water. “Perhaps,” she replied calmly. “And perhaps not. I often swim at night. And I like to sing, it’s in my nature.”

“But a song about ghosts, and vengeance, and drowning?”

“I’m a siren, Administrator Reid.” A bright flash of teeth that my brain told me were sharper than I knew they were. “All of my songs are about love, and revenge, and how else do sirens take revenge?” Another lazy splash. “I can’t exactly burn people at a pyre.”

“I loved it!” Charly spoke up from behind me. “We’re camping for Halloween, so it was perfect!” I had to admit, at least to myself, that she had a point.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one. From over my shoulder, I heard Arthur murmur “Siren or not, you’re insane.” A brief pause. “But I love the spooky music…”

I couldn’t be certain that she heard the comment, but Nixe’s eyes suddenly snapped over my shoulder to the side where it sounded like Arthur was standing. “Iron has no effect on me, Educator,” she stated firmly, flicking her tail to make a point. “But I mean none of you any harm, so please put the blade away. One near-death experience is plenty, thank you.”

A metallic rasp told me Arthur had acquiesced. “Apologies, I didn’t know it was you.”

“Were it anyone else, you still wouldn’t need that sword.” She tilted her head. “I would be there first.”

“Okay!” I interrupted, trying to break the tension. “Nixe, we’re camping and carving pumpkins.  Did you want to join us?”

Another smile, this one less terrifying. “I appreciate the invitation, but I have plans tonight.  I do apologize for interrupting your evening.”

“We were just surprised,” Charly explained. “But it was beautiful and perfect and thank you!”

With a nod, Nixe turned her body toward the artificial lake. “I am glad the song was appreciated.  Good night.”

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[once-upon-an-animation]

Frozen II (Spoilery) Review

So I went and saw Frozen in theatres last night, and... I like it, but I was somewhat disappointed. Not sure if that was because I spoiled most of the movie for myself already before going in, but then again, most of the stuff I was disappointed with was writing issues as opposed to feeling underwhelmed, so meh. Here goes:

The Good:

- I actually really like most of the sound track. AIF, STNC, ITU, & SY were instant faves and are on repeat. TNRT isn’t really a fun song to listen to, but the lyrics are pretty powerful. 

- The premise of F2. One of my complaints about F1 was the lack of lore and explanation for any of the magic. I’m glad that this film took an origin-story approach, and dove deeper into the world of magic in Arendelle. Much-needed.

- The outfits. Elsa’s new fit at the end of the movie was absolutely gorgeous, and I really like her with her hair down. Anna’s travelling outfit (with the cape) is my favourite, and I think I’m the only one who really likes her coronation dress (at least the colours anyway). But I think I do prefer some of her coronation dress concepts from The Art of Frozen: 

- Matthias is a treasure. Enough said. 

- Olaf’s death scene. Wow. 

- Iduna’s lullaby being a theme for the movie was awesome. It’s somewhat haunting, but also inviting.

- The animation was stunning. The color scheme for the movie worked really nicely, and Show Yourself was easily one of the prettiest animation scenes I’ve scene in a while. Especially when Ahtohallan revealed the memories in a drop of snow; absoluting breathtaking. 

- For all the bitching that everyone did prior to the film, the separation wasn’t even that bad. Everyone seemed pretty chill about the whole thing, and no one looked like they were heart broken. Y’all definitely stressed yourselves out for nothing.

The Bad:

- F2 had this weird thing going on where there was no real plot, but also, a lot was happening in every scene. I think Jen and the rest of the team overextended themselves with the backstory of Arendelle, Northuldra, the spirits, Iduna, Agnarr, Elsa, Ahtohallan, character arcs, etc. so everything felt so convoluted. They could have definitely simplified some things so it was easier to follow, tied certain aspects together, or at least get rid of the B-plots so the main story could get more attention.  

- Because of how much they had to cram in, the pacing was far too quick. They were skipping important transitions and jumping from scene to scene, and they didn’t allow enough time for some of the events and dialogue to flesh themselves out and settle into the story. Slow-down scenes are very important for a movie to feel like comfortable and evenly-paced, and F2 not only didn’t have enough of those, but when they did, they rushed through it and moved on to a new idea too quickly. It was like they were desperate to keep spoon-feeding us information. 

- Speaking of spoon-feeding info, waaaaaay too much of the dialogue was expositional. Most of the interactions only served to explain what was happening either to the audience or to other characters, and they didn’t feel like the natural and relaxed dialogues that were present in F1. The writing team really disobeyed the “show, don’t tell” rule in this movie, and it was very apparent. 

- One of my biggest complaints about F1 was Elsa’s lack of personality outside of her magic (and Elsa feeling more like a plot device), and it looks like the writers didn’t bother to fix that in F2. While I understand that depression and anxiety can be that overwhelming, it doesn’t work for Elsa as a fictional character to not have any shining aspects of her character outside of the issues she has with her magic. Is she funny? Is she sarcastic? What does she like to talk about on a regular basis? Is she really passionate about art or music? Does she practice an instrument or draw in her spare time? What does she like to crack jokes about? Who are her friends and what do they do when they hang out? It seems like Elsa’s magic defines every aspect of her and I don’t like that. She needs to have stronger characterization. I feel like no one at Disney really knows how to write her as a complex, dynamic, and fluid person outside of her powers. 

- Everybody’s character arc sucked and/or didn’t exist. Almost no one grew fundamentally, and if they did, their arc was written so poorly and better resembled a scatter-plot. Elsa started and ended the movie acting the same way. There’s no significant difference in her personality or the way she interacts with anyone or her view on the world. Olaf....???? His “some things change” arc was just weird all around. Anna did grow as far as her constantly trying to watch over Elsa, but her queenship should have had an arc too. While I like Anna as queen, it felt random, and really lacked build-up and foreshadowing. It also didn’t help that the scene where she and Elsa talked about making her queen didn’t exist. Again, skipping important transitions. And Kristoff...oh sweet Kristoff...

- I don’t ship Kristanna, but I’m not anti-Kristanna or anti-Kristoff either. I don’t mind their relationship at all. But this proposal plot was not it. Not only was it incredibly poor timing, but why did the writers think that was the best they could do with Kristoff? You have a reindeer ice man going from living in a mountain to being a part of the royal family, and proposing was the best challenge you could think of? How about the ups and downs of adjusting to royal life? Where is my Kristoff feeling out of place in the family because he’s awkward at balls, uncomfortable in stuffy clothing, getting nervous about greeting royal dignitaries, wanting to give commands to soldiers but not sure if it’s his place, wanting to contribute more to Arendelle but not knowing what to do, feeling like he’s not a good fit? Where is his sense of growth as he realizes that he doesn’t have to change who he is at heart to fit in to the royal family, and that he does have a place in Arendelle and in Anna’s life? Where is his growth in getting comfortable with royal life? This was such an easy option, come on!

- Lost in the Woods is a good stand alone song, but it should have been written differently for the film. It really kills the mood of the film and doesn’t vibe with the setting, and while the animation is hilarious, it also makes Kristoff look kind of silly. I loathe the Lopezes for always opting for poppy/rock showtunes, and not writing melodies and instrumentals that actually work for Frozen’s time setting. I don’t think they understand how much some of their songs really draw people out of the film. When I’m Older is also a pointless song. You can tell that its only in there for shits and giggles so Olaf would have something to sing.They should have had him sing while he was dying or something.

- Not enough of the supporting characters. What’s the point of adding Matthias or a whole tribe with Yelana, Honeymaren, and Ryder if you’re not going to do anything with them fundamentally? 

- Not enough Agnarr and Iduna. I actually found Iduna’s arc to be far more interesting than any of the main characters, and yet, they didn’t give enough screen time for her backstory. Ughhhhhhh. 

- Too many callbacks to F1. Some of them were cute, but the rest were super corny, completely unnecessary, and just a nod to the fandom. If you’re going to do a callback, it’s best done in a way that’s actually relevant to the story.  

- I would mind the separation even less if Elsa’s reason for staying in the forest wasn’t soooooo unclear. Why did she need to stay? Who assigned her the role of protector? What is she protecting against? Who currently cares about threatening the spirits? 

- Arendelle should have gotten destroyed period. Not only is Elsa conveniently getting unfrozen, saved by the Nokk, and arriving at Arendelle all in time to stop the flood with an ice wall so incredibly predictable and cliche, but it would have also fit into the “some things do change” theme that they kept literally stating. Also, Kristoff likely being good with carpentry could have really shined here in helping Arendellians rebuild, and if he had the arc I explained before, then this would have been his moment of finding his place. Genius, isn’t it?

- With all the lore they added, they still didn’t explain the trolls OR Kristoff’s backstory. What is their place in this story? How come Grand Pabbie knew nothing of the spirits or the dam story, or the Northuldra? Where the heck is Kristoff from? How come Runeard never tried to destroy the trolls? 

- Iduna just said “Anna who?” huh? No acknowledgement for her other daughter whatsoever. 

- This movie felt more like an expansion than a necessary story. 

- Okay, I’m done. 

[norequestimagines]

Safeguard [Pt. 3]

A/N; WHAT’S UP MOTHER FUCKERS, IT’S FINALLY HERE.I am genuinely so sorry this took as long as it did. I couldn't get the ending quite right. I suck at ending things. I just feel like it’s cheesy and not as tied up as I’d like but I hope y’all like it. Please let me know! CC is always welcome. 

trigger warning: arguing?

A soft yellow haze filled the room while the sun rose, shining through the window. I stretched and rolled over, my heart dropping when I realized Josh was gone, but my hope was quickly restored when I  saw the steaming mug full of coffee on the nightstand next to me. Soft metal- on-metal noises could be heard coming from the kitchen.

Josh stood at the stove, turning bacon with a fork and attempting to scramble eggs with a wooden spoon in his non-dominant hand. He’d jump when the bacon fat popped, splattering onto his bare abdomen.

“It doesn’t hurt if you’ve got a shirt on.” I giggled from the bottom of the staircase. 

He turned to smile at me before turning back to the bacon. “I didn’t hear you complaining about me being shirtless last night.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not complaining. Though, I might complain about the egg puck and burned bacon you’re working on, there.”

“Yeah… I was going for a whole thing here but I don’t think I have a future as a chef.” He grumbled, placing his hands on his hips and scowling at his failed attempt at a breakfast. 

“Grab some more eggs, you can focus on the bacon. Just make sure you start with the pan cold, Gordon Ramsay.” I giggled, placing my coffee on the counter before starting to crack eggs and whisk them into a froth. 

It was easy. He asked questions about how I beat the eggs and how I got them so fluffy. I danced around him to place bread in the toaster and pour us both more coffee before returning to stir the eggs, ensuring that they didn’t burn. Laughing at his childlike wonder at my (rather basic) cooking skills, it was hard not to feel some sense of melancholy. It was always so easy with him. There was no stress and no overthinking because everything always just worked. And even now, as we made breakfast together while being broken up and having jus had sex the night prior, it felt right. 

We ate at the table outside, taking in the early morning sun. He didn’t ruin the second batch of bacon, nor did he make breakfast uncomfortable. We kept the conversation light, joking about his being completely hopeless in the kitchen. Neither of us came back to reality until he told me I had no idea how beautiful I was. 

“Josh, you can’t just-” My gaze fell to my plate; suddenly my fork pushing my eggs around was incredibly interesting. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” His voice trailed off and I refused to look back at him, instead turning my eyes towards the horizon. Our place overlooked a few acres of land and mornings here were always my favorite. 

Suddenly, this morning wasn’t so easy. 

“Thank you, Josh, for everything. But I uh, I should really get going.”

Standing before he could say anything, I stood and walked quickly into the house. I could hear him hot on my heels. 

“Kara, wait! Kar, please, just- Kara!” He grabbed my wrist as my foot hit the second stair, putting me a few inches above him. “Can we please just talk about last night?” 

I chewed my lip and mulled it over. Deciding I may as well get it over with, I met his eyes and took a deep breath. “Let’s sit down, yeah?” 

A flicker of a smile passed on Josh’s lips before he lead me to the living room, his fingers locking with mine. We sat on the couch, right next to each other, in the most uncomfortable silence I’d ever been a part of. 

“So last ni-”

“What happ-” 

We laughed and I insisted he go first. 

“Last night… What uh; I mean I wanted to be here for you in whatever way you needed, but I just… wasn’t expecting that to happen. Like, at all. And don’t get me wrong, it was great! I just don’t want you to feel like you owe me for what I did or like-” Josh rambled when he was out of his element. I’d always found it endearing. 

“Last night, I was vulnerable and scared and I just wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel at home, you know? And I didn’t come to the guest room with the intent on that, but it just felt so…” “So normal.” He finished for me.

“SO normal! I’d had a horrible night and all I wanted was you.” 

Josh stayed silent, electing to grin shyly at me before picking at a stray thread on his sweats.  I took a few moments to take him in, the silence now comfortable. I missed staring into his ocean blue eyes over dinner. The feeling of his rough hands against my scalp after a hard day. I missed arguing over whether or not he should cut his hair and going out to breakfast when we both had a morning off. He was the only thing in Ohio that felt like home and I felt so lost without him. 

“What happened, Josh?” I whispered, not trusting my voice to be any stronger. “Why did we break up?” My eyes met his and he looked as if he’d just kicked a puppy. “ I mean I know why, but I don’t… Things didn’t happen the way you think they happened.”

“I know.” His voice was raspy, tears lining his waterline. 

“You know? You know?! So you did read the letter and you never even called?” I stared at him in awe. 

“No, that’s not… Kara, please, just let me explain my side.”

I stayed silent, nodding for him to continue.

“When I saw his instagram, I just freaked. The guys offered to buy me a few drinks, try to get my mind off of it. But the more I drank the more pissed I got. So I came home hot headed and drunk and I handled everything all wrong. I should’ve asked you what was going on. And I should’ve listened to you when you tried to tell me. I was just so wrapped up in my own head. In how hurt I was. How insecure I was. I thought it was best for both of us if I let you go.” 

“Insecure?” Josh was a professional athlete, in a town full of people who worshipped him. Girls threw themselves at him every time we went out whether it was just the two of us or with the whole team. What did he have to be insecure about?

“Yeah, I uh, I’ve always been intimidated by you. Remember when we met, and I didn’t actually ask you out for weeks? It’s because I couldn’t imagine a girl like you wanting to be with somebody like me. You graduated college at the top of your class. You don’t take shit from anybody. You can outdrink half the team and they all fucking adore you. I’m just some dumb jock who got lucky. And I know you’ve been wanting to take the next step. I can see your face when our friends get engaged and have kids and I can’t give you that right now. It wouldn't be fair to you or our kids for me to be away all the time, or to have to move around if I get traded. I want those things with you, Kar, but I can’t ask you to keep waiting around for me.” He scoffs, looking at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry. I grab him hand to stop him from ripping a hole in his sweats. His hands grasps mine tightly and he smiles at me sadly, a tear running down his face. “So then I see pictures of you with this guy, and you looked so happy, I just thought… I figured you found someone who could give you what I can’t yet, and I panicked. Once you left and I read that letter, I felt more stupid than I ever had in my entire life. I went back and looked at the pictures again and realized how different you looked. How sad your eyes were. I knew you were telling the truth. And then Boone told me about the court shit and I couldn’t face you. I let you go through all of that alone. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve the wedding you’ve always wanted, and the kids I’m sure you already have names picked out for. You deserve someone who can give you the world.”

I kept a hold of his hand as I turned to him, wiping tears from his cheeks with my free hand and tears of my own flowed down my face. “Josh, you are my world.” I choked out.  “I want to get married to you. I want your kids and I want our life. No other man could ever be enough for me.” 

Josh released a sob before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to straddle his lap and burying his face in my neck. It felt incredible to be surrounded by him again. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” We both cried for a moment, just taking one another in. “What can I do?” He mumbled again. I felt him lean away from me, placing his large hands on either side of my face, lifting it to meet his. Our eyes locked and I choked out another sob.  “Tell me how to fix this. Tell me what to do, sweetheart, please, I-”

I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes, silently praying to anyone who might be listening for some clarity . “ I don’t know, Josh. I don’t know what to do, either. I needed you to listen to me and you wouldn’t. I needed you to be there and you weren’t. How am I supposed to trust you again?” 

His hands moved down, one to hold my waist and one to rub large, comforting circles on my back.. “I’ve seen my life without you and I never want to live that way again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you. You say the word and it’s done. Please just come back home.” Josh whimpered and I could feel my heart breaking for him.

The past few months flashed before me. The sleepless nights in an empty apartment. Boone bringing takeout to my place because he knew I was too down to cook for myself. Feeling completely lost without Josh to share my life with. I knew he and I weren’t ready for marriage and kids yet but I couldn’t imagine having any of that with anyone else. 

“Don’t you ever let me go again.” 

In an instant, Josh’s arms were squeezing my body against his.  Neither of us spoke a word. After spending months apart and then having such an emotional roller coaster of the past 12 hours, we chose instead to take each other in. I could see the freckles that spread across his shoulders like constellations in the night sky. I could feel him wrapped around me, strong and steady. It’d been months and now that I could hear his heartbeat and smell his body wash and be with him, I finally felt safe. We had a lot of work to do. Our relationship would have to be rebuilt, a little at a time. But for now, we were together, and that was enough. 

[solastia]

Rogues And Charlatans | 4

Pairing: Yoongi x Seokjin

Word Count: 5,130

Summary: What is a gang leader supposed to do when his longtime rival shows up at his door, beaten and begging for help? Defend their honor, of course.

Warnings & Genre: Mafia!au, Fluff, and poorly attempted crack. There will be light violence, but nothing overly graphic. Maybe one person gets shot point blank. Basically, this isn’t a dark and serious mafia fic. It’s just a bunch of crooks in love, y’all.

AN: I LIED. THERE’S A SMUT SCENE! I couldn’t resist because it just happened. Like, I was typing when all of a sudden Jin just started hitting on Yoongi and I was like, “Alright. Do whatever you want then, the fuck.” So, yeah. It’s just a BJ scene, but it’s my usual fairly graphic style, so beware. 

The first thing that Yoongi noticed as he slowly drifted out of his dream was that the sun was really fucking bright in this room and he was going to have to fix that. Add some darker curtains or something. The second thing he noticed was that Seokjin was still wrapped around him like an octopus and it was actually really nice, something that he wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning. Less nice was the rock hard and impressively large bulge pressed against his ass because he couldn’t do anything about it without coming off as a creep. His body trembled just knowing that Seokjin was this freaking close, with that part nestled against him like it belonged there. Just as he was contemplating if he could get away with rubbing against it at least a little and blame it on a dream, he noticed a third thing. 

There was a crunching sound near his side of the bed, followed by an irritating smacking that sounded like a noisy eater. There was the rustle of a crinkly bag as the sounds continued, annoying Yoongi to the point where he finally cracked his eyes open a little. 

Jimin, Jungkook, and their new little friend Taehyung had lined up three chairs and were currently passing a bag of chips between each other as they stared right at Yoongi like he was a zoo animal on display. Jungkook dusted his hands off and leaned forward to smirk at him once he noticed that he was awake. 

“I never took you for the small spoon,” he teased quietly, raising an eyebrow at the pair on the bed. 

Yoongi swallowed a little in an attempt to wet his sleep dried throat.“You know I sleep with a gun nearby, don’t you?” He rasped, keeping his voice quiet in an attempt to let Seokjin get a little more sleep. 

The three snickered quietly, although apparently not enough as a low whine sounded from the face buried in Yoongi’s hair. 

“Yoooongi. Make the kids go away,” Seokjin grumbled, his voice still thick and deep with slumber. 

“They’re your kids; they don’t listen to me.” 

Jungkook gave a snort of laughter. “Hey, we were just coming by like Yoongi told us to. Plus, I figured you’d want to get home to change into your own clothes and slap on your fifty face creams. I had no idea I’d walk into such a cozy scene. Yoongi, what are your intentions towards my brother?” 

“It’s hyung, you brat. And my intentions are for you to wait in the damned study like everyone else. Jesus Christ, what do I pay Namjoon for if he can’t keep the pests out?” Yoongi huffs as he sits up tiredly, ruffling his hair as he stares down the trio. 

Seokjin follows suit, shuffling up with a groan until he was sitting with his back against the headboard, sporting borrowed pj’s from Namjoon since he’d forgotten to pack any. He smiles sleepily at his brother. 

“We’ll be down in a bit. Kookie, can you round up some food and meet us in Yoongi’s study?” 

“You got it. You need help downstairs?” 

“My ribs don’t feel as bad today. I think Yoongi can handle it.” 

Jungkook raised an eyebrow as he shamelessly looked up and down Yoongi’s torso as if to say This guy? Yoongi flipped him off as Jungkook led his giggling companions out, but not before Jimin snuck his head back in the door once more to snap a photo on his phone. 

“Sorry, Min. You two just look so cute,” he cooed before dashing away. 

And just like that, they were left alone as they listened to the boys stomping and snickering their way down the stairs. Yoongi looked down at his lap, suddenly feeling incredibly shy as he finally processed that he’d just slept in the same bed as Seokjin all night, completely wrapped up in each other - and he’d loved it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept completely through the night, let alone the last time he’d actually just slept with someone. 

He peeks over, finding Seokjin already watching him, his eyes thoughtful and his sleep swollen lips gently smiling. 

“How are you feeling?” Yoongi asks quietly, turning a little to face the other. 

Seokjin hums, his gaze not wavering from Yoongi’s face. 

“I feel alright. I got a good sleep at least since you’re a great bedmate. My arm is still killing me though, and I probably can’t do much with it for a while. Which really sucks since it’s the one I use to jerk off.” 

Yoongi sputters and coughs as Seokjin giggles. 

“Why would you...what the fuck?”

“God, you’re cute when you’re flustered. It never ceases to amaze me how easy you are to rattle. It really makes me want to test how far I can go.” 

“Shut up,” Yoongi glares halfheartedly as Seokjin’s eyes darken and his smile stretches into a grin that promises nothing good. 

“For instance, I could tell you that sleeping next to you made me so hard it hurts and I would love it if you were to help me take care of it.” Yoongi gaped as the words registered and his eyes dropped to Seokjin’s still blanket covered lap. 

The other slowly pulled the blanket away, revealing his tented pajama bottoms to his view. He should look stupid with the borrowed pair of Namjoon’s pajamas sporting little red crabs all over it, but instead it seemed to compliment it - the innocent print an interesting contrast to the otherwise lewd display. It appeared to be every bit as big as it had felt against him, almost intimidatingly so. Leave it Kim Seokjin to be gorgeous and hung. Yoongi gulped and raised his eyes to Seokjin’s face, searching for any sort of sign that he wasn’t being serious. 

“What do you say, Yoongi? You wanna go lock the door and suck me off like a good boy?” Seokjin crooned, his voice suddenly taking on a husky quality that Yoongi felt go straight to his own cock. 

Without saying a word, he slipped out of the covers and slowly walked towards the door, trying not to give away how utterly desperate he felt. He gently closed it and turned the lock before laying his forehead against the door, trying to breathe for a moment. His skin felt tingly, like ants were crawling all over him - a sure sign that his anxiety was acting up - but he was determined not to let it get the better of him. He exhaled shakily then pushed away from the door, striding towards the bed with his own erection obvious. 

He crawled onto the bed and in between Seokjin’s legs quickly, determined to get to work before either he chickened out or Seokjin changed his mind. Just as he got his hand on the waistband of the other’s pants, Seokjin’s hand settled over Yoongi’s to stop him, using it to guide him until he was sitting on his thighs face to face with each other instead. 

“Kiss me?” Seokjin asked, reaching out to cradle Yoongi’s jaw with his uninjured hand. 

“Morning breath,” Yoongi grumbled, blushing under Seokjin’s intense stare.

“I don’t care if you don’t.” 

Fuck it

Yoongi shot forward and smashed his lips onto the other, closing his eyes and grabbing Seokjin’s firm shoulders to steady himself. He knew that he was basically kissing him like he was a terrified middle schooler, but he was so nervous. He didn’t really care though, because Seokjin’s lips were as soft as they looked. He knew that if he asked how they were so soft he would be told the names of twenty different products, so instead of saying anything he simply moaned quietly against them. 

Emboldened by Yoongi’s obvious enjoyment, Seokjin threaded his hand through his hair and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and lightly trailing his tongue across Yoongi’s bottom lip. He opened up for Seokjin to enter and caress his tongue with his own, neither of them giving a damn that it wasn’t the freshest. Seokjin pulled away slightly to suck Yoongi’s bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling gently before releasing it was a teasing pop. Yoongi was nearly breathless just from the kiss but managed a ragged whine when Seokjin pulled away. His only consolation was that Seokjin looked as fucked out as he felt. 

“No whining, baby. You wanna play more, right? We need to finish up before the brats come looking for us. We can’t take our time today.” 

Yoongi knew he was right, but he also wanted to say fuck them. This was his house and he could do whatever he damn well pleased. 

“Then hurry up and let me suck you,” he growled, reaching a hand down to tug at the other’s pants. 

Seokjin grinned and traced over Yoongi’s pouting lips. 

“You know that you are so sexy like this, right? To the rest of the world, you are this badass and heartless mafia boss whose goons are basically ninjas. The whole city is terrified of you. Yet whenever you're around me you are always stuttering and blushing, and now I have you whining and basically begging for my cock in your throat. I’ve wanted you for so long.” 

Yoongi is stunned, because he’d thought that surely this was just a spur of the moment thing. There was no way that Kim Seokjin could actually like him...

“Get to work, baby boy.”

Seokjin pushes a shoulder down gently and Yoongi rushes to comply, tapping the other to get him to lift up while Yoongi pulled his ridiculous borrowed pajama pants down to mid thigh. Seokjin’s cock slapped against his stomach when he was released from the pants confines, and Yoongi could practically feel his own jaw drop to the floor. 

When he’d felt it earlier, he’d known that Seokjin would be big, but he was easily the largest that Yoongi had ever seen in real life. He wasn’t thick enough to terrify him, but he was very long and already dripping. Yoongi followed the path as a single bead of precum fell from the tip, licking his lips in anticipation. 

Seokjin caught the motion and groaned, grabbing his dick and angling it towards Yoongi. 

“All for you, baby. Come clean me up.” 

Yoongi decided to lie down on his stomach to save his tired muscles then lapped at the offered head. Cum wasn’t the greatest tasting thing, but the fact that this was Seokjin made Yoongi decide this was pure ambrosia. 

He groaned and wrapped his lips around it, hollowing his cheeks as he traveled up and down the length to get it wet. It felt so good in his mouth, heavy and warm against his tongue, so good that he wanted him deeper. He slid down until his nose was nearly buried in Seokjin’s stomach. Once the tip hit the back of his throat, he paused and let it just sit there, surprised he’d managed to get that much without gagging and enjoying the feel of having Seokjin in him. He closed his eyes and groaned, swallowing a little since he knew how good that felt.  

Seokjin hummed and threaded a hand through Yoongi’s hair, stroking softly for a moment before he tugged a bit. 

“Look up at me.” 

Yoongi glanced up and wanted to cum on the spot. Seokjin’s face was steadily growing red, as were the wet lips that had obviously been chewed up while Yoongi had been exploring. His dark eyes were locked with his, pupils blown and heavy with lust. Yoongi hadn’t thought it was possible for Seokjin to be more beautiful, but he’d been proven wrong. In the throes of passion, he was breathtaking. 

“God, you are so pretty like this. I can see my dick bulging out of your throat, and you just look like you belong there. My pretty baby boy loves my dick that much?” 

Yoongi blushes but nods firmly, pulling up a little to grab some air. 

“I’m nearly there, sweetheart. I’m too excited. I’m going to fuck your face a little, okay?” Seokjin asked as the hand in Yoongi’s hair tightened. 

Yoongi quivered with excitement and whined, relaxing his jaw as his eyes pleaded with Seokjin to do whatever he wanted. 

“Pinch me if it gets to be too much.” 

With that said, Seokjin pushed back into Yoongi’s throat, his breathing growing loud and shakey with every shallow thrust. 

Yoongi’s gaze was transfixed on Seokjin’s face, finding he couldn’t look away from the glorious sight. He memorized every bead of sweat, every hushed swear, the way Seokjin’s head feel back in open-mouthed wonder as he grew closer to the end. He loved the way Seokjin was struggling so hard to be quiet, knowing that he was responsible for the way the other was falling apart. 

Yoongi reached underneath himself to clutch at his own erection tightly, trying hard to stave off the climax that was threatening to rise. There was no way he was going to cum just from a blowjob like some amateur. 

“I’m gonna cum, baby. Where do you want me?” Seokjin groaned. Yoongi whined desperately and clutched at Seokjin’s thighs, trying to draw him even deeper into him. 

“Fuck, want it bad, huh? Okay, swallow it all like a good boy.” 

Seokjin’s hand held Yoongi down, but not forcefully enough that he couldn’t get away if he wanted to. He moaned loudly as his head fell back against the headboard, so loud that Yoongi wondered if the other’s had been able to hear. 

Yoongi felt Seokjin slowly spilling down his throat, a bit touching his tongue. As soon as he got a taste, his own body started gently shaking, his stomach tightening as he found himself humping the bed under him. He dug his nails into Seokjin’s thigh and came right into his pants, cringing even as pleasure racked his body. 

He pulled off of Seokjin and breathed heavily he tried to get air back into his abused throat, then buried his face into the blankets in embarrassment. He seriously hadn’t done that since high school. 

“Baby, if you want me to take care of you, then you need to sit up for me.” 

Yoongi mumbled an answer into the blankets, forcing Seokjin to reach over and tug his head to the side. 

“What?”

Yoongi cleared his throat, his face bright red. “No need.” 

Seokjin’s face showed his confusion, furrowing his brows at him. 

“What do you mean no need? You don’t want me to...oh.” 

Seokjin’s frown quickly transformed into a cocky smirk. 

“I see. You are so cute,” Seokjin giggled and played with Yoongi’s ruffled hair. 

“Shut up,” Yoongi grumbled as he sat up on his thighs, trying to wipe the drool on his chin sneakily. 

“In that case, we should probably get down there before they start freaking out.” 

“Yeah, I gotta...uh, take a quick stop,” Yoongi stammered as he slid off the bed and reached out to help Seokjin stand up as the other stuffed himself back into his pants. 

Seokjin grinned cheekily at him, obviously extraordinarily pleased that he’d make Yoongi cream his pants like a teenager. 

“Okay. Go change your pants. I’ll wait for you at the top of the stairs. I don’t trust myself to walk down one-handed.” 

Yoongi huffed but nodded in agreement. They left the room together and Yoongi ran to his own, pulling out a pair of sweat pants and throwing them on with lightning speed. When he rejoined Seokjin, the other looked down at Yoongi’s pants and sighed, as if bemoaning the loss of evidence of his prowess. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and laced his arm through the other’s to lead him down. Seokjin tugged his closer and pecked his lips, giggling over Yoongi’s shocked expression. 

“Thank you,” Seokjin murmured, tenderly kissing him again. “Also, your mouth tastes like cum so you might want to drink something before talking to the kids.” 

“Oh my god, whose fault is that?” Yoongi grumbled, tugging the other to finally get him walking. Seokjin laughed and finally let Yoongi lead him down without any other delays. Even as they reached the bottom of the stairs and strode over to the study, they didn’t let go of each other. 

As soon as they walked into the study he settled Seokjin into one of his plush armchairs and accepted the steaming coffee that Namjoon had ready and waiting for him. He took a huge gulp, almost sad to lose the evidence that what he’d just done with Seokjin was real. He smacked his lips and sighed dramatically as he settled into his own chair to drink the rest. 

The rest of the boys are all scattered around his office, with the three youngest cozied up together on a couch in the corner of the room and Namjoon sitting in his desk chair with Hoseok on his lap. It was probably the most domestic thing that had ever happened in Yoongi’s entire house, and he felt a twinge of longing as he studied everyone. This was nice, having a room full of people that were just drinking his whole imported coffee supply instead of trying to kill him. People that he actually liked and admired - for the most part. Taehyung was still iffy, but judging by the hickies gracing his throat and the way that Jimin and Jungkook couldn’t keep their hands off of him, he was probably here to stay. 

“So why are we here, Yoongi?” Jungkook finally asks. 

Yoongi is happy that everyone seems ready to get to business instead of the teasing he’d been sure he’d have to listen to. There was no way they hadn’t heard something. 

Yoongi scoffed, “Technically, I only told Jimin and Namjoon to be here. The rest of you invited yourselves.” 

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “Sounded important.” 

Yoongi sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “I wanted to propose a partnership. Park, you were calm under pressure, ruthless, and followed directions well. And Taehyung, with your brother gone, any remaining men will be coming to you for leadership.” Yoongi silently chuckled at the obvious cringe Taehyung made over that. He kinda figured the other wasn’t the gang leader type. 

"As you saw, we were able to decimate that gang in no time at all because they were new and untrained, without much in the way of backup or allies. Neither of you seem like the type to thirst for power, so there’s no real reason for you to be trying to run such small gangs all on your own. It would be better to come work with me or Seokjin and have all of our resources and power at your disposal.” 

“Actually,” Seokjin interrupts. “I was thinking of retiring so you’d be working for Jungkook if you didn’t work for Yoongi.” 

Everyone paused at that bit of information, turning to Seokjin curiously. He shrugged and smiled shyly. 

“I’ll still consult when needed, but I have tons of money and I’ve never gotten to do anything fun with it. I was thinking about a couple months out on a yacht. Maybe a little trip around Europe that has less crime and more sightseeing. I’m man enough to admit that nearly dying made me rethink a few things.” 

The reminder of Seokjin’s close call upset Yoongi, but soon enough it was overshadowed by the image of Seokjin on a yacht. His skin sunkissed and practically bared to the entire world since he would probably wear the tiniest scrap of fabric if he wore anything at all. He’d love to see Seokjin traveling too;  could easily picture him happily eating his way all over the world and attending the finest spas they could find. They? Sure enough, Yoongi found himself imagining standing right next to Seokjin through all of it. He wanted to take Seokjin clothes shopping in Paris, buy him pizza in Rome, cover him in jewelry from Dubai. 

He was so in love. 

“I was thinking of taking a break too. Last night exhausted me. I’ve gotten too used to hanging out in my office instead of being out there. It’s better to have a leader that it out there in people’s faces. I’d rather work behind the scenes.” 

“I don’t want to lead the gang though, Jin. I’m happy being the muscle.” 

Taehyung and Jimin both cooed and began groping the now smirking Junkook’s arms as the rest of the room rolled their eyes. 

“Well, if Seokjin is going to be away for however long, and Yoongi and Jungkook don’t want to lead, what are we proposing here?” Namjoon finally says after a few moments of silence. 

Yoongi turns to study his best friend, raising an eyebrow and stroking his chin thoughtfully. 

“I propose we all come together as one huge empire with Namjoon as our leader,” Yoongi finally states, smirking as Namjoon’s jaw drops. The rest of the room is filled with excited rumbling as the rest agree. 

“What? Me? Yoongi, no. I’m not good enough for that,” Namjoon protests, waving his hand around like the very thought was preposterous. 

Yoongi shook his head. “Joon, you’re perfect. You’ve been at my side since the beginning and I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. You already do most of the boss duties anyway while I work in the comfort of this room. I believe in you. Besides, I’m still going to be around. I just prefer to work in the shadows.” 

“Ohhh, I’ll be a mafia wife. I wonder if I can get on that TV show,” Hoseok croons as he kisses Namjoon’s blushing cheek. 

Seokjin snorts, “I’m certain you have to be married to get on there. I’ve tried.” 

“Oh, that’s not a problem since we are.” 

The room stilled as every head turned to Hoseok. 

“What?” Yoongi asked, gaze flickering between the two, 

“Mmm, yeah. Going on two years now, right babe?” Hoseok snickered. 

Yoongi sighed as Namjoon sheepishly grinned. “Yeah. We, uh...decided to keep it quiet for Hoseok’s safety. Boss, you knew. You were there.” 

Yoongi wracked his memory for a clue. There was that one...no...that couldn’t be it. 

“Wait, you mean that time we went to a music festival and that goth chick wrapped your arms in a rope? I thought you were just being weird and kinky.” 

Hoseok cackled, “No, we just got to talking and it turned out she was ordained so she talked us into letting her do it right there, then we did all the paperwork when we got home. You were drinking that weird strawberry cocktail pretty heavily, so I’m not surprised it’s a little hard to remember. You even signed as a witness.” 

“See,” Yoongi groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. “I don’t even know what’s going on in my own home.” 

“I for one think this is a great idea.” Seokjin smiled at the couple. “Namjoon is fantastic at what he does, and I always admired your work. If my Jungkookie is happier to merge than lead, then you’ll have my support as well. I’ll still want to work and expect my usual cuts, but I’m happy to hand over leadership to you.”

Namjoon observes the group in awe. He turns to the young group on the couch. 

“You’re all alright with this? Even you, Jimin?” 

Jimin shrugs, grinning at Namjoon. 

“It sounds like a great idea. I was struggling on my own. I knew I’d never be able to really go up against either of them, and I’d have to if I wanted to expand.  With the power of all of us together, we’d be unstoppable. Just know that if anyone tries to fuck me over or mess with TaeTae or Kookie, I will bury a bullet in their brain. Got it?” 

Yoongi had a feeling that if he wasn’t so whipped for Seokjin, he’d be incredibly into Park Jimin. It would take a strong man not to be. 

He grinned and nodded at Jimin. “Understood.” 

Yoongi stood up and strode over to the desk, reaching his hand out. 

“Congratulations...boss.” 

Namjoon laughed and accepted the handshake, pumping it enthusiastically as Hoseok slid off him and stood proudly at his side. 

“I’m not dumb enough to think you won’t still be ordering me around.” 

“Eh, I’m old and set in my ways.” Yoongi shrugs, grinning as he sinks back into his seat. 

“Now that this is settled, we should head out. We can work through more details and things later, but I really want to get home to shower and put on my own clothing,” Seokjin sighed as he stood up, the others quickly following suit. 

Yoongi’s heart dropped to his stomach. He was just going to leave without talking about what happened earlier? 

He walked silently with everyone else as they strode towards the entryway. Jungkook gathered Seokjin’s bag and herded his two whatever-they-were towards the car. Hoseok and Namjoon went with them, chattering away. 

Seokjin stood on the final step, sunlight lending him a glow as he smiled tenderly up at Yoongi’s sullen form. He clenched the doorframe tightly, refusing to make more of a fool of himself and run to Seokjin to demand answers and beg for him to love him back. 

“Thank you for everything, Yoongi. You are amazing. I’ll see you later.” Seokjin says softly, blowing him a hand kiss before he turns and joins his brother. 

Hoseok and Namjoon are yelling goodbye and waving off the car while Yoongi stares in silence, watching it disappear from view before he heads back to his study. He slams and locks the door before breaking out a bottle of his favorite whisky and he stays in there for the rest of the day. 

⁑

By the time Yoongi finally breaks, it’s been two days since he’d last seen Seokjin. He’d left him alone the previous day knowing he’d want a chance to sleep in his own bed and maybe go to the hospital. But it was now on day two and Yoongi was suffering. 

He missed Seokjin. He missed taking care of him and sleeping with him and knowing he was okay. He’d even taken to sleeping in the bed he’d used, hoping the scent of him that clung to the sheets would help him sleep. 

He’d gotten a single text from the man letting him know that he’d arrived home safely and that was the last he heard anything. Not even Jungkook has answered any texts. 

Seokjin had certainly hinted that he liked Yoongi, right? He couldn’t have been so pathetic to have dreamed that shit up. 

Yoongi growled and kicked his desk, yelping in pain as his ankle caught the side of it and scratched the skin. Namjoon and Hoseok came running, demanding to know if he was alright, but Yoongi simply stared at the slight wound with an idea forming. 

He grabbed his leather jacket and keys, striding out of the door with steely eyes as he ignores the other two. 

⁑

Kim Seokjin’s front door is an ostentatious windowed wooden thing that looks like it was made for a castle, because of course it is. Yoongi rings the doorbell then bangs on it forcefully, in no mood to be patient. When it’s opened by none other than Seokjin himself, Yoongi’s breath hitches because he’s beautiful and he missed him so fucking much. He’s also really fucking annoyed and the knowing grin that Seokjin is aiming at him isn’t making it better. 

“So I hurt my ankle and I need it looked at, and you ate my food and slept in my house so I figured this would be the perfect time to pay me back and...”

“Yoongi,” Seokjin interrupts with tender eyes and a soft grin. “I missed you too. I was just waiting until I was off the pain meds so you’d believe anything I had to say.” 

Yoongi scoffs, despite the blush heating his cheeks. 

“Now come inside. I can’t let the man I love die from an injured ankle.” 

Yoongi stares at Seokjin in awe, his heart beating wildly as he slowly registers what he’d just heard.

He loves him. Kim Seokjin loves Min Yoongi. 

Seokjin simply watches, an understanding grin growing as he observes Yoongi. He finally takes mercy on the stunned man, lacing his hand in Yoongi’s and ushering him inside the house. 

“I know, baby boy. You love me too. Now, should we go to Italy or France first?” 

⁑

And there you have it. The End...for now. Someday I’d like to add to this universe. Maybe a chapter Namseok and Vminkook. Maybe some drabbles about their travels and the Namseok wedding. Maybe a full-on Yoonjin smut scene. We’ll see how this goes and what you guys say you want. I hope you enjoyed this! 

[spiceukonline]

SZA "Ctrl" Album Review

SZA "Ctrl" Album Review

Originality

Production

Tracks

Lyrics

Overall Impact

2017-10-20

4.3Overall Score

I stumbled upon SZA entirely by accident when Spotify, clearly knowing I needed something to fill the Jhene Aiko shaped hole in my life, suggested her as a “similar artist.”

I had been listening to her almost subconsciously on repeat, like a super fan who was still in denial about the extent of their obsession. It only hit me that the scope of her popularity stretched far beyond my humble Spotify playlist when my Dad was raving about a new artist called “scissor” (the correct pronunciation of  “SZA,” which I had not yet realised). This proved two things: 1.) that this woman was worth the hype and 2.) my Dad is far cooler than I will ever be.

It turns out this 26-year-old New Jersey girl had been causing a stir for quite some time, despite walking away from music for good just last year. She had been putting out EPs since 2012, which took the interest of rapper/producer Terrance “Punch” Henderson, who signed her to Top Dawg Entertainment, the home of Kendrick Lamar, Isaiah Rashad and Schoolboy Q.

Photograph: Vogue

Whilst she was writing songs for Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé, she was still yet to put anything out that she could call her own. Fed up with what seemed like an endless waiting game, she tweeted last October “I actually quit. @iamstillpunch [Henderson] can release my album if he ever feels like it. Y’all be blessed.”

SZA, real name Solana Rowe, comes across as someone who has had to work incredibly hard to get where she is today, but I didn’t need to understand her background to know this. On “Go Gina,” the seventh track on her debut album Ctrl, she sings “I’ve been on the low-key grinding/learning on the low key, shining” bringing with it an interesting mix of modesty yet an almost brutal honesty which goes on to shape the entire tone of the album.

It will probably take you quite a few listens of Ctrl to realise you’re also “low-key” in love with SZA, and indeed it is one of those rare musical compilations that seems at first forgettable, and then becomes the soundtrack to your everyday interactions and conversations.

It was no sooner after I heard her first track, “Supermodel” that I could sense a kind of creative connection with SZA, one that I hadn’t experienced with any female musician since Solange or Jhene Aiko. Maybe that’s because listening to SZA feels like curling up with a glass of rosé and pouring your heart out to your best friend.

She sings: “Let me tell you a secret/I been secretly banging your homeboy/Why you in Vegas all up on Valentine’s Day?” Not only did she seem to have an equally as shit Valentine’s Day as I did, her lyrics were written with an honesty that you couldn’t make up if you tried, as you will also discover in tracks like “Love Galore,” featuring Travis Scott and “Doves in the Wind,” featuring Kendrick Lamar. As she told a shocked interviewer for The Guardian about her lyrics “unfortunately, it is [all true].”

With artists like the aforementioned Minaj, Beyoncé and new hot-favourite Cardi B conveying a sense of black womanhood that is encouragingly both aspirational and ruthless, it’s easy to forget that women of colour have certain vulnerabilities and feelings that can’t always be expressed neatly alongside messages of empowerment.

The opening lines to “Prom” read: “Fearin’ not growin’ up/Keepin’ me up at night/Am I doin’ enough? Feel like I’m wastin’ time.” This track is a personal favourite of mine, not least because I associate with the feelings of self-doubt that is equally relevant and painful for most 20-somethings with career and life ambitions that seem less and less achievable as we get older.

“CTRL is unapologetically proud of its womanhood”

For this reason, SZA’s lyrics epitomise the 20-something zeitgeist of being shit-scared of just about everything, but diving in head first anyway. “Garden (Say It Like Dat)” is a delightfully dreamy track in which SZA wants to maintain a distance from her lover whilst consuming herself within them.

  She hopes she’ll “never find out” that they’re “anyone else” but also that they “never find out” who she really is. She concludes her final verse with “can you hold me when nobody’s around us?”- expressing a fear that constantly being expected to perform, to play a role in our equally socially obsessed and socially awkward society, that prevents her from revealing the “real her” in the fresh stages of a relationship.

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She continues with a persistent but somehow never irritating tone of insecurity.  Falling victim to society’s constant need to pit women against each other, in “Drew Barrymore,” she sings: “You came in with your new friends/And her mom jeans and her new Vans/And she’s perfect and I hate it.” In pop culture, Drew Barrymore has become synonymous with ideas of insecurity and a pursuit for identity, in movies like Never Been Kissed and Poison Ivy, coming-of-age stories which this track pays homage to with a modern  R ‘n’ B re-working that only SZA seems to manage.

Being always semi-permanently stuck in the angst of my teenage years, I’ve always been a fan of music that can tell the classic coming-of-age story. Being spoon-fed The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by my Dad growing up to moderately rebelling with my Paramore and My Chemical Romance phase to venturing into the disorientating phase of my 20s listening to Alessia Cara’s Four Pink Walls, CTRL seems to mark the next stage in the one-woman stage-show of My Life: A Tragi-comedy.

CTRL could be another album about starting-from-the-bottom and slaying life with no obstacles along the way, but SZA knows that life doesn’t always work out that way. At its core, CTRL is unapologetically proud of its womanhood with but there are an underlying yet inescapable insecurity, a doubt and a tension that makes CTRL one of the most honest albums I’ve heard in a long-ass time- and might just be the soundtrack to my 20s.

Stream CTRL on Spotify