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mae-i-scribble · 11 months

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Hi, I hope you're having a nice day - in your author's notes for chapter 2 of The Long Way Home, you mentioned the idea that the story HSY wrote is different from the ORV that we know. I wanted to ask if you've ever written any posts expanding on that? I would love to read more about your thoughts on this (KDJ in your story's last memory being about reading that instead of WoS. Gutted me.)

Hello there! I have unfortunately not written a post detailing this (if you are the very nice anon who has asked me to elaborate on this i am very sorry, if you're not anon i am still very sorry), in large part because doing so in a way that I would be happy with would involve combing through the last 1/3rd or so of the novel. Since the major thematics about authors and characters and readers as one aren't really gotten into until that point. To be honest, I just haven't had the energy for that.

The idea that the novel HSY wrote not being ORV is one that I've always had since first finishing ORV- I can't say where exactly it originated from. Now to be clear, it's an undisputed fact that HSY and kimcom *are* writing about the events they lived through, and I do 100% both understand how and why HSY writing ORV is the more widely accepted theory (them including lines from early orv scenes, the way that it loops right back around into ORV's very meta theming, the way it would match up with the ideas of loop of fate, etc.) I just don't agree with it.

One of the greatest takeaways for me on the author/character theming in ORV is that an author will never fully understand a character they write. HSY and YJH live this out in real time, alongside HSY learning the origins of WoS vs the YJH she has come to know as a companion. In writing WoS she straight up admits that she fudges her memories of him because it isn't as if she could know everything about him- she just wrote the story she thought KDJ needed to hear. (I swear I have a point I promise). HSY as intimate knowledge in how while writing someone, you both grow to understand them intimately while simultaneously remaining clueless. With the experiences she goes through, combined with the fact that KDJ's narration in ORV is so specifically *him* with all its unreliability and the glimpses we get into his past/bits of him on his own without kimcom around, I just don't think ORV is something HSY would have written. To me, she wouldn't have tried to write from KDJ's perspective, already having far too much entanglement in obscuring people and characters with KDJ (and possily from that one scenario where she's almost taken over by the character she's incarnated into, but again, i would need to reread).

Then we reach the point where she writes this novel for the KDJ's across worldlines- or rather, kimcom does. Which I think is another very relevant point, HSY is compiling and spinning this into a narrative, but *everyone* is contributing to it and writing bits and pieces. Now that I type it out, I think that might be part of what makes me so happy with the thought that instead of ORV, HSY is writing that same story but told from kimcom's perspective, not KDJ's like ORV is. The image of everyone coming together to give their own perspective and accounts while HSY compiles and sorts those varying viewpoints into a narrative with KDJ as the focus just warms my heart. In a post I made about the epilogues, I brought up that with this interpretation, you can see it as kimcom writing KDJ as they see him, so that he can understand just why they love him so dearly- which I think is especially poignant considering this novel's true purpose isn't even to bring KDJ back, its to help everyone else heal from the trauma of losing him.

So basically, I can't really give you much of a textual basis for my argument besides for the fact that ORV doesn't straight up say HSY is writing ORV, it's more just was my first takeaway that has forever stuck with me as my preferred interpretation.

(P.S. thank you for taking the time to read my fic, I also loved writing the bit where KDJ remembers that story.)

#orv #orv spoilers #post epilogue #kim dokja #han sooyoung #this has been orv meta with mae #well wannabe meta it doesnt really count without evidence #but still i am just never letting go of this interpretation #sorry if its not exactly the answer you were looking for #but it is the only one i have to give #until the day i do a full reread of orv and go absolutely mcfucking insane dissecting it like a lab rat

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caffeineandsociety · 2 months

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I feel like there's a significant subset of the world - both queerphobic and pro-queer - that sees Queer Rights, i.e., the slogan, not the concept, as centering on the intersection of Penis + Femininity.

When it's queerphobes sticking to this image, that's when we get culture war bullshit that's shining a constant burning midnight sun spotlight on transfems and queer men and drag queens and intersex people with any inclination toward femininity. This is the most visible impact to your average "I don't do politics" guy.

But even within the community, it also prescribes a very narrow idea of what a cis or intersex-without-a-penis lesbian can be - you present the idea that not all butches are 100% service tops and absolute experts with a strap-on and people look at you like you grew a second head, femme lesbians and lesbian bottoms are treated like they're somehow Less Queer, and transmascs are treated as basically the antithesis of queerness; if the queerness that we need to defend and fight for = femininity + penis, then masculinity + (presumed) vagina is, like, the OPPOSITE of what we need to care about-

Even though to queerphobes, the hate is still there, it's just sloppier, more shrouded in shadows, harder to describe, harder to define. The framework for HOW to hate people who don't meet that standard is much less defined-

But it's also more socially acceptable, in a paradoxical way, because on some level those of us who are not Feminine + Penis Queer(TM) are seen as not being protected by the defense movements for drag queen story hours - and a good amount of the time, they're right, be it because even some of the pro-queer rights people truly are playing by their rules, or because their ill-defined hate toward anyone who fails to conform to the white supremacist standard of what The Two Genders are but ALSO fails to fit into their framework of why they're "supposed" to hate The Homosexual Agenda is just as hard for us to dissect as it is for them.

This is not to create a hierarchy of oppression. This is not to say that anyone who has a penis inherently oppresses anyone without, because that is just demonstrably not true. This is not to make an argument about which gender of queer people inherently Has It Worse; I am strongly of the belief that once you have "failed" hard enough at your assigned or actual gender it starts to even out and I have data to support that.

Rather, it is to serve as a call to start questioning the idea that queerness begins and ends at the intersection of femininity and penises. To step back and ask yourself if you have bought into this idea, whether you think it is good or bad. It is to ask yourself if you have more positive or negative feelings toward the combination of feminine + penis vs. masculine + vagina and start unpacking that - and in fact to go even further and start unpacking, what are your feelings toward OTHER combinations and do THEY differ? Beards and lipstick? Muscles and gowns? Masculinity + femininity + some entirely different genital configuration, be it by birth or by body modification? It is a call to recognize people who express queerness by deliberately overperforming their gender, whether they're cis or trans, regardless of what genitals they have or why - when gender conformity becomes so farcically intense that it loops right back around to nonconformity, as is the case for many femme lesbians or gay leathermen.

And above all else, it is a call to recognize that queerphobia comes for ALL of these examples of nonconformity-

And it will help every single one of us if we stay a step ahead of the game in recognizing WHY, in recognizing WHAT we're transgressing instead of waiting for queerphobes to publish books about it and then STILL debating whether they REALLY mean those things or not.

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forsetti · 1 year

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On Personal Identity: It's Complex And Personal

Once gay marriage was upheld by SCOTUS, the right needed a new, under-represented group to attack in order to placate their base’s lust to make themselves feel superior and punish those they deem inferior.

It took a few years for conservatives to really hone in on who to attack. Finally, their broken moral compass led them right to the transgender community. To the right, transgender individuals have the ick factor of gay people on steroids, and since there are a lot fewer of them, the pushback would be minimal. Many people know someone in their family, someone they love, a close friend, or who is gay. This isn’t true of the trans community. If you are a morally vacuous bully, the farther down you can punch, the better.

Think about this strategy for a moment. The right tried desperately to make gay people their scapegoats for all that was wrong with America, and they lost. They lost big. They got bitch-slapped by Will and Grace, Ellen, and thousands of other examples that gay Americans are as normal, if not more so, than their Bible-thumping neighbors. Instead of learning even the most basic lesson from their loss, the right decided the best thing to do was punch down even farther on the social and cultural ladder. This right here should tell you everything you need to know about modern-day conservatism. As Adam Sewer poignantly stated in The Atlantic about the right, “cruelty is the point.” When it comes to people who identify as transgender, the only question that really matters is, “So fucking what?” Here is where I want to acknowledge that I am not completely aware of the terminology when it comes to people who identify as transgender. I’m trying to learn. If I misidentify or make a mistake in verbiage, I apologize in advance.

What difference does it make to Aunt Freedom and Uncle Tight Ass if anyone, especially people they don’t know and will never encounter, identify as transgender? The answer is, “Not a God damn thing!” There are side arguments about how respecting which pronouns someone wants to be referred to by is an affront to God, the Founding Fathers, and Strunk & White, but they are 100% bullshit. The argument, “Boys/men competing against girls/women is unfair" is specious and nonsensical as “it goes against nature." Especially since almost all of these arguments come from people who haven’t given a damn about women’s sports and/or who have spent years speaking about them derisively. The only time they’ve given a single thought to women’s sports is when they can use them to prop up their bullshit worldview and punch down.

Personal identity isn’t black-and-white. It isn’t something that is defined by others. If it was, then it wouldn’t be called “personal identity."

I have no idea what it is like to identify as part of the LBBTQIA community. I do have an understanding of what it is like to not feel comfortable in your own skin and not be accepted, and this understanding alone makes my heart break for the way the LGBTQIA community is viewed and treated for either being comfortable with who they are or for trying to be. I grew up in a very small town in a very sparsely populated county in rural Idaho. Anyone on the outside looking in would assume I fit in perfectly. I was a white, Christian, straight male in a society that was 99.999% run and dominated by white, Christian, straight males. Hell, I came from an upper-middle-class family, and my father held a prominent position in the community and the local church. You couldn’t script a more perfect character to play the lead part in “Fits Right The Fuck In.” However, never, not once, did I ever feel like I fit in. Who I am, how I feel about myself, and who I know I was (not wanted to be but was) never fit the role I was “born to" and “written for me.” I wanted to fit in. I tried to fit in. I did everything I possibly could to fit in. All of this led to anger and frustration. When I was growing up, this anger and frustration were mostly directed at the community in which I lived because I blamed them for not fitting in. While they were a big part of the problem, I was just as culpable. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t.

It took a number of years for me to truly realize not only that I was part of the problem of trying to fit into something or somewhere to which I didn’t belong, but also that I needed to begin to discover who I was or am. While I was going to college at Utah State University, I got glimpses of this, but that was even closer to being realized because Logan, Utah, was only an hour away from my hometown and only slightly less regressive and repressive.

It wasn’t until I attended graduate school at Michigan State University that I really started to be me. I’m pretty sure this is why I feel such a strong bond to East Lansing, where I still live, going on year thirty-eight of a five-year plan. Even through all of this, I still don’t really feel comfortable in my own skin. I never really feel like I belong in just about any social situation. I’m not sure if these feelings are remnants of past experiences and conditioning; there are still parts of me that haven’t been realized, or something else. What I do know is that these sixty-plus years of feeling lost, not fitting in, and not being myself have not been kind to my psyche. I cannot even begin to imagine how someone in the LGBTQIA community must feel because they have all the things I’ve felt at much higher levels and so many more pressures, abuses, and ridicule to the nth degree. Whenever I’m in a group situation where they ask everybody to identify themselves and say a little bit about themselves when it is my turn, I give the boilerplate answer but finish with, “Something most people don’t know about me is that on the weekends, I dance under the name “Raven.”” I say this as a joke, but there is an underlying, not true, but possible truth to it. I’ve always leaned more toward the cultural definition of “feminine.” Almost all of my friends throughout my life have been women. I feel at home around women. I’ve always preferred to have longer hair. In a group of men, I have absolutely never felt I fit in. There is a rooster inside of me. It took me a while to understand this, but it is absolutely true.

Not being who you truly feel you are and are supposed to be is a horrible feeling. Why on earth would anyone deny this to someone else? Why would anyone go out of their way to punish and/or ridicule people, either trying to discover this for themselves or for fully realizing it? All the answers I’ve seen given to justify these behaviors are specious at best and batshit crazy at worst. Don’t give me some bullshit argument and try and substitute it for an argument against the transgender community - What if someone identifies as a serial killer or child molester? Are we supposed to be okay with that?” Sell crazy somewhere else. The transgender community harms society. No one is being harmed by someone from the LGBTQIA community being true to how they feel about themselves. No one is being harmed by honoring which pronouns someone wants to be referred to by. NO ONE. Every single argument or example you can make that tries to say otherwise is 100% rectally extracted. The vast majority of pedophiles who are grooming children are Christian youth pastors, the clergy, and members of your local police force, not the LGBTQIA community.

Pronouns: We're having a hissy-fit over pronouns? How dumb is that? A lot of people I know don’t use their given names. My maternal grandfather went by his middle name his whole life. One of my brothers has gone by three different names over the years. How did this affect my life? I’m sure I probably referred to my brother by an outdated name once or twice, only to be corrected, and then I moved the fuck along. In other words, it didn’t affect my life one scintilla. If it did, then the only reason would have been that I was the problem. Pronouns: Part II: This isn’t about proper names. This is about “men” wanting to be referred to as “she/her/they.” This is social and linguistic chaos.” Is it? Is it, really? Do you need the world to be so black and white and so perfectly defined that any ambiguity or things that go against your preconceived norms are automatically labeled “bad” or "dangerous"? The world is a very, very, very complex place. I understand the desire to have it make sense on every single level, every time, all the time. However, that isn’t reality. That is, you want to force reality to fit your worldview. The world is always going to win that battle. You're not accepting its complexity doesn’t impact it at all. The only one who suffers in this situation is you. The world doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings, your beliefs, your preconceptions, what your mom and dad taught you, or what your preacher said last Sunday.

Attire: Does it matter what someone else wears? How does Bob, who now goes by Sarah, wearing makeup, a dress, and pumps impact your life? I'm pretty sure it doesn't, and if it does, you are the problem. Does this make you feel uncomfortable? So? I have a deep, visceral reaction to people eating cheesecake, cauliflower, and dozens of other foods. As repulsive as these things are to me, I’m not advocating for any laws against them. Their personal preference doesn’t really affect me in any meaningful way. Also, why is it so damn important to be able to perfectly identify someone by how they dress? Are men’s egos so fragile they can’t stand the thought of someone thinking they are a woman or being wrong when they hit on or catcall someone? (This is a rhetorical question because we all know the answer is a resounding "yes.") However, this isn’t the fault of the person wearing the clothes, no more than it is when a woman in a “skimpy” dress is raped. They aren’t the problem. They aren’t the cause of or responsible for the actions of others. Bathrooms: Since when do you see someone’s genitals in a bathroom unless you intentionally look at them? If a transgender woman walks into a women’s bathroom, there aren’t any urinals (because there are none). You aren’t seeing their plumbing unless you bust down a door and start poking around. If this happens, who is the “weirdo” here? I’m pretty sure it is you. I’m really not sure I understand the fear here. The Children—the go-to when all your other arguments have epically failed. “I don’t want some guy in a public restroom when my daughter is in there.” The question has to be asked again: “How do you know it is a “guy””? Do you feel up to everyone who goes into a women’s restroom whenever your daughter is in there? If you do, you should be arrested because you are a pervert. Transgender women aren’t using the ladies' room to hit on your daughters. They are using the ladies' room because, wait for it, they need to use the ladies' room. Why is it that there are no bathroom sexual assaults in countries where same-sex bathrooms are normal? I find it very odd that the people who worry the most about their daughters being molested in bathrooms by the LGBTQIA community have no worries in the world about them being around church leaders, the police, male family members, or neighbors—the people who are absolutely most likely to assault them. I’d happily have my daughter babysat by anyone I know in the LGBTQIA community over a youth pastor, scoutmaster, or self-professed Christian. The Children: Part II: How am I supposed to explain to my children about transgenders?” Easily. Be honest. Be straightforward. Answer whatever questions you can, and whenever you can’t, be honest about them too. Kids have an amazing ability to grasp complexity and be okay with ambiguity. What they can always sniff out are bullshit and hypocrisy.

Cultural conditioning is a big part of how/why we identify the way we do, but other things are at play. Genetics, experiences, and sometimes just an innate sense—you don’t belong to the group others have placed you in. I often ask myself, “What would my life be like if I felt more like Raven if that was the dominant side of who I am?” I honestly don’t know what the answer to this question will be. What I do know is the very existence of this question gives me a small understanding of the LGBTQIA community. It is quite possible that I will never really know who I am or feel comfortable in my own skin. If that is the outcome, so be it. No matter what happens, I never want someone else to feel this way, to any degree, and I will never know why anyone would not only not understand this but go out of their way to make the situation worse.

Being comfortable in your own skin isn't something an outsider can really understand or judge. Why is someone else's happiness anyone else's concern if it doesn't directly affect them? It doesn’t unless you stretch and bend the definition of 'directly' in ways that defy linguistics, logic, and ethics.

#trans rights are human rights #transgender rights #trans issues

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rametarin · 10 months

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Just thoughts from childhood.

Feminist discourse among kids in the 90s was frustrating and wild. The little girls generally couldn't read the books given to them by their charged up aunts, big sisters, moms and cousins, so they'd just read off the cliff notes and stomp around with this authoritative aire, just looking for opportunities to lord their cherry picked information over any boy (specifically) by baiting them into arguments that absolutely no 6-10 year old had ways to refute or even debate due to literacy level and access to references to dispute their statistics, or being set up like a similar propaganda mouthpiece.

The closest thing you got to people indoctrinating their kids in the other way was maybe the more traditionalist/conservative parents telling their kids to just be belligerent and ignorant by answering, "Jesus! ^.^" to everything and replying to (airquoting) "clever feminist debate" (prepackaged macros designed to be standardized weapons in arguments they start given the state of the discourse of the time), by going "Nyeeehhhh!" and refusing to even argue their logic.

Part of that was every so often the Babby Radfems would just announce something was verifiably true that absolutely wasn't. Like, every instance of a woman being sexy in a piece of media gave them a soap box to stand on to rant about how, "TCH. Typical MEN designing women to just be pieces of meat!" And then little muttery words about men doing it, as if men are the only people that do that and sexualizing a fictional character was something only men did because men were scum. That's not paraphrasing, that's a thing that was argued pretty often.

And then seeing the opportunity for solidarity and trashing on men, which was socially acceptable for the girls, other girls that weren't necessarily 100% on board but had the spirit and solidarity for the sentiment (even if just for selfish whimsical flight of fancy excuses to shit on men) would agree and join in on the rant about the sexy female in the media being proof men were shitheads and wrong. And, "You never see women doing that to MEN!"

And this is the crux of what I've been building this post up for; How in the 90s, you never really had any proof that girls actually did objectify men sexually and think of them that way or that the media was intended to be eye candy for women (or at least, mind candy, for their queerbait fantasies.)

They'd argue, dishonestly, "Where's your PROOF girls objectify men in media? Proof? Do you have proof?" Arguing that men were the only ones that wolfwhistle or have that media for the T&A. And the onus of responsibility and burden was on any detractor to disprove their assertion; that women were beyond such "sexist, objectifying behavior."

Well. Social media and those special corners that fangirls inhabit that weren't super gatekept provided all the ambient proof anyone would ever need that girls also shit and it also stinks. And I am living for these mostly transparent social media platforms that feature objective proof of women being horny on main and saying, "not exactly nice, progressive feminist things" and proving such behavior wasn't just some horrible patriarchal behavior women were immune to just by being so honorable and pure, but a human thing. That fantasy and face is so incomprehensibly unsustainable as a lie, it can't even stand up anymore.

Our current online world makes that unpleasant experience and discourse all but impossible, these days. And I adore that.

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flowystars303 · 11 months

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Idea of Love

Despite all my experiences with Love, I never truly understood what it meant.

Everyone goes their whole life saying that love is when you feel happy around someone, when you get butterflies or even when you sacrifice something or even yourself for the other.

I do not totally disagree, not at all. These are forms in which love appears and shows itself around us. Not only through people but through everything.

But focusing on relationships.

I loved him despite him hurting my feelings numerous times - I considered that love.

I loved him because I wanted to have a future with him - I considered that love.

I loved him because I liked to spend time with him - I considered that love.

But we argued, we fought, we swore and we disrespected one another despite that love. Despite laughing, we still hated. How was that possible.

I understand that love is not there 100% of the time, just like happiness isn't there all the time. But the extremes which I went through still hurt me to this day. And I do not think that is what love is.

I have come to the conclusion that I never really knew what love was. I just took in all that was said to me about love and made those things facts. Things that I could not question and that I had to just adapt to.

But no. With 2 years of a relationship, a turbulent one, and with 23 years of experience, I think I have come close to the idea of love.

I thought that even through the arguments and fights that this was all love, that my love would be enough. But it is not. It drained me. It created an illusion for me. It made me turn a blind eye on problems.

But love for me now is to be better for the other person. To change. That is true love.

To know that you want that person next to you for the rest of your life, and to know that you yourself have many traumas, insecurities and problems that need to be worked on, but must not let that affect the love you have for that person.

Not full acceptance, not at all. Because full acceptance means that you need to tolerate bad things, all things.

Both need to know how to make it work. Both need to change those parts of themselves that are selfish, that are toxic and that are traumatic so that the relationship can flow.

Love isn't just a bed full of red roses, champagne and a box of chocolates. Love is sitting down with yourself, digging deep and identifying 'What is something that I am doing that is limiting this relationship?". And changing.

I cannot say 'I love you' and with the same mouth say 'I hate you'. I cannot kiss and also slap.

I can say 'I love you' and with the same mouth say 'I am hurt by this'. I can kiss and also say 'I need some time because I am too overwhelmed at the moment'.

That is what I think at least.

#relationship #feeling #lovers #love #life

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brandonwayneb · 1 year

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a message I sent or say, to helpful groups or individuals

thanks guys, keep well

I will always be doing the same,

once i psylock, eternal expectations will not allow for new amounts of traffic.

so my intent of this message is just to say thanks.

for the bits or parts any of you do,

in keen oversights, even if faster hypotheticals or even small innocent lies, or jokes,

can do a world of helpfulness specially after “dog piles” or brutality groups are being stocked on.

I grand father,

and I psylock as a collective eternal hive.

I dont accept new information,

if the threshold of justice is broken as a specific amount of magnitude.

specially if the country itself has collapsed in target crimes that they’ve clearly over extended on me…

anyways, without the wordiness,

i am just saying thanks, for pure intentions

and to expect I will keep gridlock eternity.

thats justice available to all lives.

zero shame

zero abuse

100% war wick

100% gridlock

and my gratitude for any honorable intentions that make it past ‘fog of war’ corrupt agent count and double bet on.

1) my thanks, as in means not always hot motived messages

2) your truthful to life itself honest ways to improve and make a difference

all in all,

i shift my focus, however slowly,

for i will not accept bolstering men who already had their way with me, and thousands of citizens,

honor cant be stolen.

and thats one of my main messages to anyone in projects of deciphering how many damages have been done across our countries, worlds, etc…

I live guilt free

I live free as free gets,

and my free soul shouldnt of never became agents hyper addiction,

but since I became similar to a “martyr”

I did my best duties to draw forth ALL of the members and networks involved in illegal actions on our lives and every life form..

i never expected to find primarily white business, hospitals, and jails, all marketing off world detriments…

i mean, outright disgusting,

and to hear those same agents cover their tracks with “job plays” or “acts and skits” and “scenes” and “this is all standard as usual”

eternity is eternity.

I am only 1 person.

imagine…

just imagine the horror…

if all this madness was done, just because 1 person made a hobby out of catching crimes in government…

lol… honestly…

insane america!

for me…

life is an eternal devotion.

ETERNAL.. literally will never end.

Honor is all that holds us together.

and as for my works in government or pro life missions,

all charity,

all hobby,

this is a keen reason why and how I can ideally catch most crimes…

i have no motive.

except Pro Life 99%

and for all lives to keep their personal needle eye 1%

Pro Life 99% all can practice

1% personal, all can respect and leave be.

so…

after all my messages, this isnt any sort of grand gesture, i just wanted to say thanks, for feedbacks that have been positive in effect.

besides all the gritty arguments.

1 word, charity.

Thanks again,

and if anyone in ur offices investigates,

i just encourage you to scan maps of americas locations, and hot names used, and work over diligence, or just try to make the interactions more fun… rather than too ‘coded’

all the codes tends to feed into maniacs who are already positioned as falsely ‘legal’ agents..

as in double agents really…

or flat out corrupted agents..

thats all they listen for all day long.

codes and how to make excuses..

codes and excuses,

thats their life.

and periodically checking whats the new ability or new take over plans…

all garbage motives…

but thats all they have, in their poor society

for me, this entire world is a hobby…

although not entirely true because i keep eternal devotions to pro life and honor each and every being to voice for themselves..

its really difficult to keep my attention…

because i am mostly charity and hobby

if you get my attention, expect intensity or means of pro life 99, however wont be to parallel responses in most situations,

for I only priority Eternity foremost.

so most words and interactions are absolutely irrelevant… specially if they dont unlink garbage agents who never stop trying to extort or speed spread hog ball games.

anyways, wordy wordy,

i was half asleep, and just wanted to say a positive more easy message, acknowledgement,

more than only directions and heat, or orders

1) thanks

2) eternity (or any word which means the same)

easy justices,

ask a bunch of innocent or ridiculous questions, to ventilate fools that dont know how to execute themselves lol jk…

anyways bests to you,

and all whom may be involved.

Fair Eyes.

PsyLock

Gridlock

Jasper Red,

not casper blue

Eternity.

zero, as in stop lab science or mark ur own karma

#allah #god #war #news #public #cern

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discyours · 1 year

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And for no true Scotsman… that’s an interesting dynamic…. Because it’s like for any ideology or system of beliefs theoretically yeah… we could get to a point that 99-100% of people claiming to be X are actually probably not X. It’s possible. It’s just a fallacy if you are making the definition sooooo narrow on purpose to get out of a jam in an argument. The fallacious/cheating reasoning existing doesn’t mean we can’t make good faith and meaningful arguments that would mean the majority of self-described X not being X. Especially if we acknowledge things like, ok maybe there is a historical X and a modern X and the modern people clearly have MOVED what X means at this point. But it’s now fair to emphasize that they aren’t meaningfully meeting the previous/ historical definition of X. You see that a lot with political ideology words tbh. Like here’s a fun one — what’s a conservative? What’s a liberal? It’s contextual in time and place and even then you will get disagreeing factions and people who think each other don’t count and each have good arguments for it.

I do think it’s just really interesting to think about how words for beliefs, movements shared across groups of people both are meaningful and will never be all that stable. With a political movement there is always disagreement within as well as without and it’s like the line between variations within a species vs super closely related but separate species. Where is that line? How much disagreement = broken up into factions? How much disagreement before one or more of those factions “aren’t” the original term?

Also with all these political movement/faction terms.. so much depends on context. Once enough time has passed it can be the heir to the older idea, but it will never be the same and is probably different enough to start drawing lines and naming eras.

With radfem for example for better and worse, there is so little allegiance or even awareness to the ideology of the mid 20 c radfems that I am ready to describe that as a full split. An evolution with changes based on newer information available, experiences and reactions to events and other ideologies/factions rising, etc. Modern radfems are inspired-by but not the same as the earlier ones, with rare exceptions there are no second wavers who aren’t literally the women who were at their most active in that time period.

Again I think the evolution is a good thing — we do need to always be reevaluating, take in new information and new contexts — and a bad thing, when it’s out of ignorance of the past and not thoughtful sifting through it that’s leading to the change in what modern self-described radfem is vs the more stable definition

Overall I accept it’s changing and want to make the most of our chance to influence the shape of the new incarnation

Another thought is I call myself a feminist (no adjectives) even though i disagree in at least one way with 99% of self described feminists and strongly disagree with the majority faction on core points. I’m fighting for the space. I want my core concept of feminist to become THE core concept for the majority. And were unlikely to get what we don’t fight for. Still that’s such a delicate political question— when is it better for me to say I’m an ex feminist and define some new thing like, “women’s liberationist” and call myself that? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. There’s something to gain and lose either way. What matters I guess is which move most advances our organizing capacity.

I have nothing to add but I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

#anon

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satans-wafer · 2 years

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What is your favorite deadly sin? Which sins do you think each of the Papas represent?

ooooh, my favorite deadly sin is pride by a MILE. half of my motivation to do anything is "i can do this thing better than THAT, and ill do it PERFECTLY first try." I do not ever do it perfectly first try. I still believe that i can if I just try hard enough. (makes it impossible to learn new skills, though)

ghestie i am so Fascinated by this question, I was thinking about this my entire shift today, and heres my opinion:

Primo- He's so hard to pin down for one!!! I'd have to argue Sloth, even though we don't see much of his character at ALL. It fits the best, I'd say, just because Ghost didn't take off with him and he doesn't seem to engage with the public much beyond the stage in order to complete the goals of the Clergy. (I know, out of canon reasoning is that Ghost just begun, but in-canon, he has never done much to tempt others that weren't already at the concert. I'd totally accept any argument that said differently, btw.)

Secondo- I'd argue Gluttony, though I think he's honestly too sad to be reveling in his sin, if I'm honest. He's definitely the saddest of the Papas, and he comes across (to me) as if he enjoys the finer things in life in order to make up for that sadness. He hates his job? Be more commanding on stage in order to tempt more souls! He feels lonely? Find someone to make out with in a hotel hallway! Hes just plain sad? Fine food and wine! I feel like he fits Gluttony rather than Greed better just because he comes across like he doesn't want those things to show off or to feel like hes superior to others because of it all, but more in order to make-up for living a life he hates.

Terzo- Pride, definitely. He does seem like he would be lust because no Papa before him ever acted Like That (absolutely scandalous!), but I'd argue that pride fits him best because he was the Papa that was hinted at questioning the doctrine of the Clergy by questioning if there was a God or Satan in all of Meliora. He rarely wore his vestments (a break in comparison to previous Papas) because he had his stage costume he preferred over the tried-and-true traditional things, because he believed he would get more appeal from the audience in something different. How much confidence in himself can he have (to the point of getting surprised on stage by security taking him away) to believe that just because hes beloved by the crowds that the Clergy wouldn't get rid of him? Pride, all the way down. (also the fun association of lucifer falling because of their pride in believing they were above humans and god struck them down for that pride)

Copia- Envy, 100%. He's not from the bloodline and he has the AUDACITY to try and take power and become Papa?(joking) He seems like TF intended him to be an unlikeable loser who isn't able to get what he wants, ever (no Nihil to shit on him, a date with that nurse, a nice room, the respect previous Papas had, people thinking he's suave and cool) and has been quietly (and quite awkwardly) trying to take what he wants, though the idiot (affectionate) is too awkward and polite in order to ACTUALLY take anything (other than murdering the previous Papas, maybe??). Maybe my opinion will change once his character arc is over and the new Papa takes over!

This was really fun to consider, especially since I haven't done much of a deep-dive into the characters beyond how fanon views them, thanks for asking :-D

#primo #secondo #terzo #copia

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rainhadaenerys · 3 years

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I am tired of people saying that we Dany stans don’t acknowledge Dany’s flaws. The fact is, Dany is THE most mischaracterized character in the fandom. Like, I am not kidding, I have written hundreds of metas with tons of book quotes just to disprove claims about her (I am many times not even writing about my own ideas, but writing in reaction to the takes in the fandom). I have written metas about how Dany is NOT a slaver, about how Dany is NOT arrogant or entitled, about how Dany is NOT violent, about how Dany does NOT see things in black and white, about how Dany is NOT reckless, and so on. And because we Dany stans are constantly denying things, we are accused of “ignoring Dany’s flaws”.

But we're not! Every single meta I write, I am constantly pointing out one political mistake here, one bias that Dany has there, her grey moments that the fandom never shuts up about, and so on. And so are other Dany stans. The discussion of Dany’s flaws and mistakes are scattered all over our metas. I (and other Dany fans) sometimes point out double standards, sometimes we point out exaggerations, and sometimes we point out that context needs to be taken into consideration, but we Dany stans are ALWAYS discussing Dany’s flaws (this isn’t even something that we can avoid discussing, because the fandom is constantly criticizing Dany one way or another, so discussing Dany means discussing these things).

But the thing is, there are certain “flaws” that the fandom accuses Dany of having that she simply DOESN’T HAVE! Like, it’s a fact, it’s not even debatable, because there are tons of evidence that contradict it! I am not going to claim that Dany is arrogant, not even a little bit, I'm not going to "admit it" because I have made rereads specifically for the purpose to find out if this was true, and in result I have written a meta about what I found out, and I found out that she is not, in fact, arrogant. Not even a little. And this goes for all the other “flaws” that the fandom accuses her of having and that I have disproven with my metas. I found the textual evidence and made my own conclusions that the fandom is not, in fact, right about Dany’s flaws (or about her strengths and her characterization in general, the general fandom really doesn’t know anything about Dany).

I am not going to "acknowledge" that Dany is arrogant or that she is violent or that she sees things in black and white or that she doesn’t have self reflection just to please the fandom. I am not going to accept those things just to show that I am moderate and can find “a middle ground”. Because just because you “find a middle ground” doesn’t mean you are right. This is a logical fallacy, the middle ground fallacy or argument to moderation. Just because one person says the sky is blue, and another says that the sky is yellow, doesn’t mean that the correct opinion is “the sky is green”. Similarly, I am not going to find a middle ground when I know for a fact that certain assertions about Dany are 100% wrong.

Dany does have her flaws. But they are not the ones the fandom usually believes them to be. And sometimes, she does make individual mistakes, but one mistake doesn’t necessarily constitute a character flaw. Just because Dany authorized torture once, doesn’t mean she is a violent person. Flaws are consistent aspects of the characterization of a certain character, and Dany is not a violent person. So I am not going to say that this is one of her flaws. I will instead discuss it as one of her mistakes. Similarly, Dany makes some political mistakes (which we Dany fans have discussed exhaustively), but that doesn’t make her dumb. The fact that we do discuss her actual flaws, and that we discuss her occasional mistakes without flattening her character like some people do (people who would just prefer to call Dany “rash”, “violent”, “stupid”, “incompetent” because of certain mistakes, instead of acknowledging that these are not actual consistent flaws of her character) makes me think that we are the ones actually writing nuanced meta about Dany, and writing actually evidence-based meta, instead of the people who just like to scream that we don’t acknowledge her flaws, and people who don’t even use evidence to make their claims.

#fandom wank #daenerys targaryen #daenerys defense squad #my meta #i wrote this ages ago in response to some stuff i saw in the tags about dany stans not acknowledging dany's flaws #but it was so long ago i don't even remember which post it was #but i wanted to post it anyway

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doped-on-galaxies · 3 years

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So I decided to make my last post a little more clear

We're going to put the shippings more in depth.

First off, keepsakes

I dont take the keepsakes very seriously due to the fact that's all they are. They were gifted. Nothing fancy just things that are carried along throughout the series. Though Misty's keepsakes were carried throughout plenty more seasons than Ash and May's ribbon. The ribbon was nothing more than a good luck charm to remind May of how much she learned, same as Ash's lure from Misty was a good luck charm for him 🤭

Posters/Advertisements

Whether these were hints towards shippings or not, these were the only personal ones that had Ash and a female companion alone. Though this can be argued I do personally feel as if Pokeshipping and Amourshipping were hinted in these. Nonetheless May and Iris did not get a cameo poster with Ash alone.

Being saved

If you're going to consider one as a hint, then consider all of these as hints. These characters were simply being saved, and each of the falling scenes have a close up of grabbing each others hands. Let it be noted though, that Misty saving Ash, Serena saving Ash, and May saving Drew were the ONLY times the females saved their *crushes* every other time it's just Ash saving and girl. Yes a few of the girls liked Ash but that carries us into our next topic.

Blushing

Somebody said that "blushing doesn't always mean romance" of course. I get that, but not in these scenarios. Each person blushed due to to a romantic gesture. Whether it's embarrassing someone about possible love letters, accusing one of having feelings, accepting feelings, or simply a romantic moment. They say "Oh well Pokemon can't be romantic due to age" yet last time I checked, there is blushing, rose giving, slow dancing, kissing, and people asking if x has a crush on y. Can they go too far? No, but did they give us an idea on who liked who??? Definitely. As shown even Ash blushed, he just didn't blush very often, but them few counted. I understand that Goh blushes at Ash too though but last time I checked we aren't talking about characters being embarrassed, but I do believe if there is a possibility for there to be a LGBTQ relationship with Ash- Gary and Goh are definitely good representations.

Oh, and yes I am aware Ash was sick in the scene with him and Serena, but Pokemon did a pretty *obvious* job of making it a romantic scene regardless. They didn't have to do all that, but they did. "Some" people seem to forget that there's more to a Pokemon shipping than having to fish out romance out of non-romantic scenes due to their ship just being a healthy friendship at best, but if you're here for the obvious, you can easily tell Pokemon did their best to portray some kind of romance in these scenes. The proof was in the blushing. If you don't feel for someone you don't blush. You argue it out or deny it. We have all been in a scenario as kids and young teens where someone asks if you have feelings for someone, and you brush it off or argue about it because it's simply not true. I promise you my face only got red when I actually had feelings for someone. It's natural instinct, Pokemon knows that too. Take some notes from the Pokemon creators because they knew what they were drawing and what was going to be said in these scenes. Also take a look at the few shippings that had no blushing whatsoever. It's a sign, not an argument.

"Look at how they look at each other"

You know, you're only partially right. Look at how Ash looks at EVERY GIRL. Ooooh wow same expression. Pretty last resort thing to fall back on. Which is why there are other hints that help to make SOME of those expressions actually worth digging in to.

Let's face it, when it comes to ships like Contestshipping and Penguinshipping- there's very few episodes that Drew and Kenny are in, so every second counts. Plus the episodes with Angie, Anabel, and Lucy (towards Brock) they made it very clear within the very few episodes that those girls had feelings. Though I do believe Pearlshipping was partially one sided (I do feel like Dawn liked Ash to an extent only with the way she left Kenny to travel with Ash despite his offer) there was 100% proof Kenny DID have feelings for Dawn and it was easily initiated in the actions he made. Contestshipping was not one sided though. I've learned in my 23 years of watching Pokemon if they don't blush, it's not anything to worry about. Luckily May blushed nearly everytime, and Drew did blush but he didn't always need to. After all he was slinging red roses left and right, and if they were for Beautifly- the last one she received would've never been given to her since Beautifly wasn't even in Battle Frontier at all.

Though I am a Pokeshipper, Amourshipper, and half ass Pearlshipper- I stand as an ally when I say that if you're looking for romantic signs in a shipping you're going to have to find it in the Poke'girls actions. Ash doesn't *look* at one girl specifically different than the other. He literally just looks at them. Though the only person he ever blushed with was for Misty, but that doesn't mean the 2,000,000 hints Serena had are dismissed. After all, like I said before, if Pokemon wanted to create hints, they would, and they did. Those hints were soooo out there, that saying "oh look how Ash looks at her" is gonna leave us asking "who?" Because let's face it he looks at all of them pretty normal. That being said there are still hints Ash had. Being jealous of Misty's potential crushes, showing he was attracted to other women, running up to Serena when he was sick and falling into her arms, and looking at Serena when she kissed him and doing nothing but smile, when normally Ash would probably freak the fuck out.

That being said I hope I made myself clear on how to spot a close-to-canon shipping. It's okay to ship people who have litte to no proof of real romance, but don't say a ship with real proof has none. That is where you are wrong.

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

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As someone who used to own recasts and was a “neutral” (honestly I was pro recast and was just lying to myself tbh), I 100% confirm that pro recast people use emotional manipulation to get people on their side and are just as responsible for recasts expanding.

The way I was introduced to recasts was with someone back in 2012 being pissed off that they were not allowed to join a photo contest because their doll was a recast Lorina. They framed this issue being that they are the victim of harassment and how it’s ridiculous people have prejudice over a doll being a when in reality they got in caught trying to pass off their doll as legitimate in a contest that only allowed legit dolls. Me being a newbie at the time, had no idea what recasts were until then, saw the situation of someone being bullied over something so silly and immediately took her side as I delved into recasts more.

As I looked, I kept seeing the same kind of posts as well of being mistreated because of recasts and that recasts were not as serious as it seemed while pushing cherry picked information to support them supporting theft and also kept downplaying that it was a issue of cheap vs real when the true reason was that these dolls were counterfeits being made against the creators wishes and people were trying their best to stop it from spreading. Overall, it was presented that it was a valid to get a counterfeit and people who hated it were bullies, and it was especially pushed as neutrals accepted this and, just like pro recasts, turned a blind eye to the damage of recasts for the sake of being accepting to these people.

And now because of their false information, it’s contributed to recasts getting worse and have expanded far more than they were 10 years ago with no end in site to the theft just like we were warned all those years ago and even then they haven’t stopped, and now that they’ve learned the buzzword of “elitism“ and that being against recasts means you’re anti-poor as their arguments as they keep supporting an illegal, harmful business. If I was properly informed what recasts were and why they were hated rather than being convinced the recast debate as a silly squabble over cheap dolls, I very likely wouldn’t have taken their side. And while I’ve been have been legit for 5 years this year and happy that I am, I still hate myself that part of my life where I contributed supporting this and buying recasts because of their emotional manipulation, even more so I repeated their BS claims in support of recasts while ignoring the facts and have convinced myself that “it’s not a big deal” just as the prorecast and neutrals did. It’s why I have grown to have a deep disdain for pro recast and neutrals alike for being this way when there’s proof that recasts are damaging the hobby and community, but they won’t stop as long as they can get their dolls cheap. Their nonsense is what made me into someone who has zero tolerance for recasts.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDCounterfeits #Going Legit

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aminiatureworld · 4 years

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Time and Chance II

Characters: Kaeya, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,702

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: Confessions are tricky things. Sometimes it takes week, maybe months, maybe years of building up courage for one to happen. And sometimes life throws the oddest wrenches in our paths.

In which the reader confesses.

Author’s Note:

Sorry for the lack of Zhongli. I feel completely awful currently and though I wrote part of his scenario it was really poor in quality so I decided to stick with Kaeya and Xiao. I’ll get to him and Keqing another time I promise. Also don’t worry this isn’t life or death I just need to sleep it off lol. I realize between this and my computer there’s always something and I feel a bit guilty about it. At least I hope everything’s up to par!

This also probably won’t get proofread tonight.

I hope you enjoyed my extra fic for Valentine’s Day! To all the lovely people who requested prompts I will be getting to those next week. Have a lovely night and thank you so much for your patience!

Kaeya

Perhaps falling in love with Kaeya wasn’t the most original thing you’d ever done, but by the time you’d come to that conclusion you were too far gone to care.

You loved Kaeya, or at least you liked him a lot. As someone who looked up to the Knights of Favonius there was something intriguing about the man who was simultaneously one of its lynchpins, and a sort of rogue state of a human being. It didn’t hurt that he was stupidly good looking, and a bit of a smoother talker. Okay, maybe more than a bit, but you didn’t really mind that. It was nice to be flirted with sometimes, and Kaeya had the sense never to take it too far.

You figured that Kaeya was at least somewhat aware of your feelings. Though you never asked about it, it seemed somehow too brash. Instead you figured that, in the months that had passed since your friendship had begun – for you did see it as a friendship by now – Kaeya had become aware and decided not to comment on it, as to not hurt your feelings. Though you wouldn’t go as far as call it noble of him, you certainly appreciated it.

So this charade continued on. You two remained close friends, or rather close friends in your estimation. Kaeya continued to flirt and you continued to ignore your personal feelings. It was truly an odd song and dance, but it wasn’t one you were about to change, not willingly anyways.

It’d become a bit of a tradition to patrol together. Seeing as you were an adventurer yourself and Kaeya was, well, Kaeya, you two had eventually decided it was better to make one long patrol together than two shorter patrols apart. Besides wasn’t the rule safety in numbers?

It was an exceedingly boring patrol, and as it neared its end the atmosphere between you two grew from semi-serious to absolute buffoonery. Kaeya had challenged you to see who could pick the most flowers the fastest, then who could control their vision’s element the long, then eventually, seized by some divine genius, he suggested that you might see who could run the farthest on the walls of Monstadt without falling over.

“This has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever agreed to.” You grumbled good naturedly. “Don’t blame me if you go tumbling off and end up with a broken leg.”

“I trust you’ll lift me to safety before that happens.” Kaeya answered back, eyes alight with his daredevil proposal.

“My anemo vision isn’t your personal elevator captain.” You reminded him. Hauling yourself up on the walls so you were on the farthest side you flashed a thumbs up. Kaeya nodded.

“Okay. Three… two… one and three quarters.”

“Kaeya.” You huffed, eliciting a chuckle from the knight.

“Okay, okay. Three, two, one, go!” The two of you ran as fast as you could, scrambling up the turrets, too concentrated to talk. Kaeya was laughing though, and eventually you found yourself laughing too, thrilled by the recklessness you were indulging in and the freedom to be doing it with someone apparently as stupid as you were.

“I’m getting ahead~” Kaeya chimed. You scoffed, quickening your pace. Kaeya did likewise, and for a moment it seems you two were going to be running the entire wall in this position. That is before Kaeya slipped.

“Shit.” He cursed, waving his arms like a madman. This only lasted a few seconds before he truly tumbled off, heading towards the stone paved ground. You didn’t say anything, though your brain was screaming various incomprehensible things. You simply clambered off your perch, hands already outstretched, praying to the god Barbatos that you could manipulate air you couldn’t see.

Luck was on your side as it turned out, and your swirl of wind caught Kaeya before he hit the pavement. Gliding down you shook your head wildly.

“Great gods Kaeya you scared the shit out of me!” You knew that you were screaming slightly, but you couldn’t help it. The whole situation had riled you up, leaving you panicked and not fully in control of your emotions.

“I’m fine! Honestly I am. I’m only sorry I lost.” Kaeya chuckled, but his laughter was weaker than before and his expression was slightly shocked.

“It’s not time to joke around Kaeya!” You shot back. “You can’t be so reckless! I know that it was also my fault for agreeing to it, but honestly! What would Monstadt do without you? What would I do without you?” You paused then, realizing that what you said held certain implications you’d been hoping to keep under wraps.

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s expression immediately became brighter. Figures he’d read the meaning into your words. Honestly the man was too emotionally intelligent for his own good.

“I meant was I said.” You replied, figuring that there was nothing else to say. The truth was all but out now. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you Kaeya. Now I’m going to tell you something I’ve been hiding for a while, and since I saved your life and revealed it in the process I just want you to take it seriously, okay? I’m not joking, and now that I’ve said it I want to make it explicit. I like you. Like, I like, like you. And I know that I’m just your friend and that you’ve probably been aware of it for ages, but it’s out in the open now, okay? You don’t have to reciprocate or anything, that’s not it. I just… want to let it out.”

You stared at Kaeya, trying to gauge his reaction as much as possible, unwilling to look away. Unsurprisingly the news hardly seemed shocking to him, but instead of his smile slipping from his face it only grew wider. “You’re kinda oblivious you know.”

“I – what?” You sputtered, slightly offended. This wasn’t where you expecting it to go. “I don’t expect you to reciprocate, but leave the teasing alone for now at least!” So much for calling Kaeya emotionally intelligent.

“You’re reading this the wrong way!” Kaeya held up his hands, before stepping closer to you. “I just can’t believe that you’ve been my friend this whole time, had feelings on top of it, and never noticed that I was just as interested in you. I mean I’ve been flirting with you for months.”

“You flirt with everyone.” You scoffed, although the argument seemed to hold a bit less weight when compared to the jubilant, slightly smug look on Kaeya’s face.

“You may be right about that.” He admitted. “But c’mon. I don’t flirt with them like I flirt with you. I certainly don’t take them out on patrol.” His expression turned softer then, and he shook his head. “I know that I joke around a lot, but I promise, I wouldn’t joke about this. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you though, that was a fault on my part.”

“So you mean I’ve been hiding my feelings all this time for nothing?” You deadpanned, feeling overwhelmed. The situation still seemed too good to be true.

“Sounds about right.” Mischief was creeping back into Kaeya’s voice. “But it’s all right now! Your prayers have been heard! So, since you were the one to admit your feelings, I’ll be the one to ask the question. Want to date?”

“Yes.” You replied, sure of your answer.

“Good.” Kaeya replied, before pulling you into a hug, one you gladly reciprocated. It had been a hell of a day, and while you wouldn’t relieve Kaeya’s fall for anything you felt somehow lighter, as if a great burden had been lifted off your shoulders. He liked you, Kaeya liked you. For you, for now, that was all that mattered.

Xiao

Once you’d decided to admit your feelings to Xiao you’d immediately followed up that decision with the knowledge that you were going to have to break it to him slowly. You’d been friends with Xiao for over a year now, and though you were cautiously optimistic as to how the adeptus would take it, you still knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who would be at all comfortable with a sudden confession.

Confessing your feelings was in itself an act which required all the courage you possessed. You weren’t sure when you’d truly started falling for Xiao, it had come about so gradually. But before you knew it you had grown to love him. You loved the way he talked, the soft cadence of his voice though often impatient was still filled with enough softness to make your heart flutter. You loved how, despite all he’d suffered, he still retained a begrudging love for the world, especially Liyue, which he once revealed to you would always be the one thing he loved, even if he loved nothing else. You loved everything, his hands, his eyes, the way he walked, the way he kept going despite it all. You loved it so much it hurt, and now you found that your love wasn’t something merely to be pushed away. If the odds of Xiao rejecting you were almost 100 so be it, at least then you’d be proud of yourself.

You spent quite a bit of time mulling the whole thing over, before the answer struck you. Xiao refused the gifts you brought him after some of your adventures, and when you’d once asked him what he might accept he’d shifted his gaze slightly towards the side, one hand running itself through his hair. “…Almond… Tofu.” He’d admitted. You’d been delighted by the revelation at the time, promising yourself you’d learn to make it. And what was a better way to show your feelings than to do so now? Not only was it something he’d like, it was something you’d made yourself.

So you gathered all the ingredients, borrow a receipt, and set to work in Wangshu Inn’s kitchen.

Unfortunately you’d failed to predict how difficult Almost Tofu was to make. It’d been hours and you had nothing to show for it but dirty utensils, a scarcity of ingredients, and a few mysterious blobs that looked about two steps away from inedible. Leaning your head on the counter you let out a groan. Why the fuck did you think this was a good idea?

“What’re you doing?” A familiar voice broke through your reverie.

“Xiao!” You exclaimed, glancing around you. There was no use hiding the project, although technically nothing was looking even close to Almond Tofu right now. “I was, I was trying to make Almond Tofu. But I guess I’m no good at cooking.” You laughed, more than slightly embarrassed.

Xiao’s eyes narrowed, and he raised an eyebrow. Saying nothing he walked over to the counter. Grabbing a cloth he started wiping down the counter.

“What’re you doing?” You asked, slightly confused and extremely surprised.

“Teaching you.” Came the reply. “Come on, let’s start again. Have you washed your hands since your last attempt?”

If cooking was difficult without Xiao it was impossible with him. The whole time you couldn’t help butbe aware of his presence, the way he stood behind you, leaning forward ever so often. Once you hadn’t been mixing fast enough and he placed his hands on yours, pressing his chest against your back. Your grip had immediately lost all strength, and you were sure that Xiao was the only one actually working. His breath was warm against your neck, and his palms were warm and dry. It was all too much, and you spent the rest of the lesson only half paying attention, too wrapped up in his proximity to you.

Despite the distractions this batch turned out, well looking like Almond Tofu. You couldn’t help but smile when seeing the finished product. Even if you didn’t make it completely yourself, there was still something about creating that gave you a sense of pride. Even if you did need help from the person you were going to give it to.

“It’s done.” Xiao proclaimed, a slight smile of satisfaction on his face. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“Oh, well actually I made it for you.” You grabbed the plate and approached the adeptus. “I know you said it was your favorite, and the only thing you’d accept, so, I made it!” You smiled slightly, though inside you were a bundle of nerves. This was happening. Holy shit this was happening.

The surprise on Xiao’s face was evident, but he nevertheless took the plate. Grabbing a pair of chopsticks he pressed into the tofu, causing it to almost immediately separate. Taking a bite a smile crossed his face. “Thank you,” he said, “it’s very good. I’m surprised you remembered.”

“Of course I did!” You replied, voice slightly hurried. “And, um, well I’d like to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Xiao’s slightly concerned look returned. Setting the plate down he crossed his arms.

“Well… you see.” You glanced at the floor. “I know this will probably seem very sudden, and maybe not very proper; and I know that this is something that’s purely one sided, but the fact is I like you. I like you more than a friend and, well… yeah.” You finished, feeling as if you’d just spoken some utter nonsense.

Glancing up you noticed how rigid Xiao had gone. Mouth twisting into a nervous frown you shook your head. “I’m so sorry! I know that you aren’t really, well you’ve said you aren’t familiar with the way humans experience the world. And I don’t want to put you on the spot, that’s the last thing I wanted to do. I’m sorry it’s so shocking.” Glancing away you started worrying your hands together. This had gone so much worse than you’d expected it.

“I don’t understand,” Xiao finally spoke, dropping his arms to his sides, “I don’t understand why you’d like someone like me. I’m not a human, and in terms of adepti I’m far more cursed than most. You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t like some like me. I bring disaster.”

“No you don’t!” The objection came naturally to you, horrified as you were by Xiao’s view of himself. “You’re one of the most wonderful beings I’ve ever met, human or adeptal! You’re kind, and you try to understand the pain and emotions of humanity. And you never push your burdens onto others despite carrying such heavy ones. If that’s not the mark of a good person, well then I don’t know what is!”

“I still don’t understand.” Xiao said, voice softer than usual but just as matter of fact.

“I’m sorry I pushed this onto you.” You said, suddenly feeling a burst of regret, turning around you made to leave the kitchen.

“Wait!” Xiao’s voice was loud and slightly jarring, his hand caught your wrist in a grip that, while gentle, was still firm. You turned around, unsure what to expect. Xiao sighed, closing the distance between you two. “When I said I don’t understand, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” There was a pause as he collected his thoughts, looking down, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t understand how humans think, nor how they feel. But, when I’m around you I’m happy, happier than I’ve been in a millennia. And I want to be around you, all the time sometimes. I want to know more about you and I want you to know more about me. So, if that’s what you mean, then… I also like you.”

Xiao glanced back up towards you and your eyes met. You felt slightly floaty all of a sudden, as if you’d gotten very, very drunk. Everything was too sudden, your emotions had changed too quickly. But through all your confusion you understood one thing. Xiao liked you, he liked you. He wasn’t going to reject you or push you away. The thought was enough to bring a smile to your face.

“So you really like me?” You asked. Though you knew the answer now you still wanted to hear it again. Just in case.

“Yes.” Xiao replied, a smile once more adorning his face. “I like you.”

And that was all you needed to hear.

#sorry again I'm just in so much pain right now #but I'm fine I just need to sleep or something #anyways #kaeya #xiao #kaeya x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #scenarios #my writing

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mack3030 · 4 years

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Things the Sims 4 Community Can Do About Paywalls...A Post...

[This is going to be a bit long, so you may want to save it and read it when you have time, or just...you know, buckle in.]

I thought I would ring in the new year by talking about something that I feel we as a community need to finally decide on. (It’s been debated since 2017 or so, and it’s now 2021...) I’d like, if possible, to try to suggest some real solutions and choices that we can make that will hopefully create a better and more honest community out of all of us. Now I would like to start by making some postulates. In geometry, postulates are facts that do not need proven with a mathematical proof. They are assumed to be true. Thomas Jefferson and the founding fathers would call these “Self-Evident Truths”. I would like to use these as a bit of a basis for my arguments.

Truth: The Sims 4 has been enough of a cash cow for EA. If you buy the base game ($40) plus all expansion packs (40 each x 10) + all game packs (20 each x 9) + all stuff packs (10 each x 17) you would come to a total of seven hundred and 90 dollars ($790) plus tax. This is of course, without sales, bundling, etc, which many people DO take advantage of, but STILL. That is a TON of money for EA’s pockets. EA makes a majority of its money on the fact that the Sims 4 is an “incomplete game”. It “completes” the game further and further by adding more “expansions” to the game to the point that it seems almost useless to buy the base game alone without adding to it.

Even with sales and other things, it’s easy to spend over $500 dollars on the sims 4 game + expansions. Still a lot of cash for a game that is years old. This is just money that is spent on the game that goes to EA. This does not account for: * Money spent to buy a new computer because your old one wouldn’t run the sims. * Money spent supporting CC artists who have donations open or early access. * Money spent on access to sites that have ads/paywalls/exclusive sims 4 CC such as Leosims, etc. (Which are the problem, frankly)

We should be able to respect the fact that a majority of us paid a hefty amount for this game. It is unfair, and frankly greedy to REQUIRE people to pay MORE just to unlock or gain access to specific user created content.

I am not talking about a VOLUNTARY support or donation because they like what you offer. I am talking about FORCING people to pay if they want to ever be able to use the CC or mod you offer.

Now, the typical defense for this is “Well, I’m an artist! I spend time/effort/etc working hard on these meshes, the code, etc to make this content!” Which leads me to point #2.

Truth: Mods, CC, and other content for the Sims 4 are useless without the game. Once they are created/uploaded to the game, all copyright to those objects IMMEDIATELY transfers to EA.

I teach art in a Missouri public school. Our state standards dictate that when art students are in middle school grades, they have to learn about copyright, fair use, and creative commons. While I am not a copyright lawyer, I have had to learn enough about this subject to teach it. So allow me to break down a few facts about copyright:

First, when ya make it, ya own it. There’s not a process to apply for a copyright. The moment you create something that is 100% your own work, you hold the copyright to it.

Second, when you make something that is created based off of or USING someone else’s intellectual property as a reference or resource it is a fan creation. In art, we call this “fanart”. It is not 100% your own work. Someone else’s intellectual property is involved.

Fan creations always have tread a very thin and shadowy line when it comes to different companies and the legality of them. You can easily search google for various articles explaining it, but to summarize it in a short method:

Most companies do not actively go after those who create fan creations unless they are making profits that could instead be going to the creators of the intellectual property. If the fan creation is discovered to be making profits and/or taking the intellectual property in a direction the creator does not approve of, they have legal options to pursue (court, cease and desist letters, etc).

Third, Copyright can be transferred from person to person. In most cases this is done through a written document that both parties sign, however there IS an exception to this that EA uses to allow itself to transfer your copyrights to your content to them:

EA’s agreement with you is non-exclusive, meaning that the moment you hit “agree” on the sims 4 terms and conditions, you have handed over your rights to any CC you create for the game.

If you want to maintain full creative rights over the mesh/mods/etc you make then, you have to not make that content for the sims 4 and make your own platform to host it on. This is way easier said than done.

Truth: There have been various examples in the past of CC creators who have stolen meshes, bases, bits/pieces of work, or “inspiration” for CC from other sites/companies, who have been called on it publicly.

The most recent event concerning this was drama concerning itsbrandysims and their use of meshes from imvu/secondlife (you can see my opinion on the subject HERE), but there have been other documented cases. Leosims, for example, has been listed as an example of someone taking meshes from secondlife creators and reuploading them (when it was told to me, I was shown THIS thread as evidence). Another well known creator was accused by a former sims 4 cc creator (who now makes content from second life), and was called out in THIS post in 2019.

The horrible part of this? Many of these creators are charging people (often at not so great rates as well), for STOLEN content. Content they don’t even own, that they ripped from another place. This should not be accepted by a community that loves a game as much as the Sims 4 community. Truth: EA has provided a way for people to make money while not hiding content behind paywalls entirely, and the INTENT of this was to OFFSET COSTS. Almost every post about content locked behind paywalls features this post found on the Sims Forum from 2017. In it, SimGuruDrake, who was the community manager at the time (she has since left the Sims 4 team for another job). Most of you who have seen this discussion topic before know this post by heart, but I’d like to highlight one important aspect of it:

One thing that is always important about communication is the intent behind it. The intent for people to be allowed to make patreons and allow early access wasn’t so people could just make money for themselves, the idea was to offset costs to buy programs to make the content. For example, a yearly subscription to Adobe Creative Cloud (which has photoshop, illustrator, etc) costs a couple hundred dollars US a year. If someone was using photoshop to help them create their CC in addition to blender or other free programs, EA/Maxis wanted to allow the creator to not have to pay for making the CC out of pocket. Can EA/Maxis control what people spend the money they make off of patreon on? No. But it should be noted that the intent of this action was to help people pay for supplies for their hobby more than to make a business out of it.

Onto the next truth! Truth: There is an image that disputes this post above, however the authenticity of it and timing of it are very disputed.

This image is often thrown around by people who lock content behind paywalls, but I would like to take a second and try to provide an honest assessment of it. First of all, I have a bit of a problem with the fact that the original person who “messaged” SimGuruDrake this question has not been identified. This image was not posted on the tumblr of a CC creator who claimed “Hey I reached out to a sims guru and this is the answer I got!” The main pages that have this image are either tweets from CC creators using it to defend their stance on paywalls (ex: here), or tumblrs/tweets “debunking it” (ex: here, here). I even reverse image searched this image using google, and another platform and could not figure out where this originated from. Of course, I’m not an expert, but...still.

The fact that the origin of this picture is unknown casts doubt on it. If it were a well known CC maker who is known for being honest, that’s one thing. But the fact that we don’t exactly know where it came from is suspicious. Because frankly, anyone with some decent editing ability could photoshop this.

Here’s my imperfect edit, but I’m just a self-taught graphics nerd and I am not as dedicated at faking screenshots as some. (And the crap photo quality didn’t help.) Another common issue is that at the supposed “time” that this question was being asked, some state that SimsGuruDrake had already left the Sims 4 team. I will admit, this photo is within the correct timeline, as SimsGuruDrake did not officially depart the sims 4 team until February 2018. (There is a post on the sims forums that has a timestamp that confirms this.) But, if you were in the process of leaving your job within the next month (as a two week/30 day notice is common when leaving a job), would you REALLY be answering questions in DMs on twitter, or be focusing on packing up, and training your successor? The last thing that really makes me doubt the validity of this picture is the fact that it’s not really easy to message the sims gurus on Twitter. This appears to be twitter from the screenshot (although there are some things that are a little out of place from the current UI): But when I attempt to direct message a sims guru I get this message:

I even tried seeing if I could reach out via DM to Drake herself, (who now posts under a different twitter) to see if it was possible:

Could the policies have changed since 2018? Possibly, but I feel that opening up direct messages is just asking for Sims 4 team members to get angry messages, so this could very well be a long running EA policy. I have also reached out to her via a twitter tag (as of 1/2/21), and will update y’all if I get a reply:

Okay, so now that we’ve gone through all of this, let’s talk about the last truth that’s really important: Truth: Putting content behind paywalls has generally been considered disgusting by many in the sims 4 community, and TAKES AWAY the choice of people to support CC creators they love/appreciate WILLINGLY. A few notable posts sharing the disgust with this practice can be found: HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE & HERE). And these are just what I can find from a simple precursory search.

Okay, Brainiac. So what can we do to solve this problem?

Well, there’s a few methods we can employ, and sadly, it’s going to take a bit of a commitment and concentrated effort from the community.

Step #1: Make the COMMUNITY the VICTIM instead of EA.

Now when I say this, I don’t mean we’re actually victims, but mean that instead of constantly saying things like “WHEN YOU DO THIS YOU VIOLATE EA’S TOU!”, thus making EA the “victim” of the crime. We change the dialog to saying “When you lock stuff behind paywalls, you cheat the sims 4 community and disrespect their choice to support you or not.” Because let’s be honest. Maxis/EA really doesn’t give much of a care about if people aren’t following this rule. You can report people to the team, but as far as most people have seen, it doesn’t get anywhere. But if we make it where the community is the party being “wronged” it is much harder for those who have paywalls to not be scared. Because the community, in the end, has to be with them. DepthofPixels had a really amazing post about this HERE.

Step 2: Decide to not support anyone who puts their content behind exclusive paywalls and do not hesitate to spread the word about why you choose not to do so.

By that, I mean

not paying any patreon accounts that don’t offer either their content 100% for free, or offer early access.

And sharing about why you choose to do that on your social media. Something I might suggest would be to make it a bit personal and share something like:

Instead of spending $15 a month to get exclusive content from Leosims (or any other patreon/paywall creator here) I’m spending that $15 supporting creator x, creator y, and creator z, who don’t put their work behind paywalls!

Link their patrons, share why you like their content, and why you take the stance to make the community better. Make it a positive thing, praising the people who are doing RIGHT by the community.

Yes, you may not get their content for a while (although there are some different places (

) to find them *cough*. But in the end, is it worth supporting someone’s content when they’re treating the community badly?

Step 3: Report creators who actively steal content from IMVU/secondlife to those respective companies, and all others to EA. (Even though nothing may happen.)

Here’s the deal. When people steal from either of those sites, they are infringing on someone’s copyright, as well as Imvu/secondlife’s copyright as well. It’s not okay, and they should be held accountable for it. Here’s the LINK for submitting a ticket to Secondlife. I haven’t been able to find one for IMVU, but maybe someone else will find one. Let those companies know and allow them to handle those specific creators. As to the other creators, EA may not handle them at the moment. But IF (and this is a wishful thinking “if”) there were suddenly a flood of messages about certain creators...? I think they might have to pay attention to some of those messages. There is an official report form, but it might even be worth tweeting to SleddingGuruFrost, who is the current community manager asking about their stance on paywalls. And last but not least:

Step 4: Make sure that those who are doing the right thing and not putting their work behind paywalls feel appreciated. Show them some love via a tumblr ask, or by tagging them on twitter, or by going up a tier on their patreon (or pledging for the first time). Celebrate these heroes who are creating content and not forcing it on us.

Us asking for people to give us a choice to support them isn’t being greedy, or disrespecting their time. We just want transparency, and respect from those who create content for the game we love so much versus them treating us like we’re just a source of income. I know it might seem a bit hard to do this for some of you, and for some it may seem like I’m preaching to the choir, but we have to decide where we stand on this issue and stop letting those who abuse this system keep doing it. We can make a difference if we decide as a COMMUNITY to work together.

With commitment, ~Sunny

#sims4cc #sims4mm #maxismatch #sims4alpha #sims4cccommunity #paywallssuck #downwithpatreon #EA #maxis #TOS #thievessuck

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limitlessgojo · 3 years

Text

Blood Bound: Blackened Bond (Ch 16)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood, Death, Gore, Japanese Mythical Folklore, No Major Character Death

Previous Chapter: 土御門天皇 (Tsuchimikado)

Next Chapter: Inferno: Flames of Hell

Word Count: 3.3k

Tags: Kamo Noritoshi x Reader, Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast @nayydoesthings

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, and specify if you're okay with NSFW posts or not, please mention it in the comments below ty ❤

This chapter is LONG, a lot longer than I expected haha, happy reading!

Chapter 16: Non-Standard

Noritoshi was in a shitty mood to say the least. He went home to his clan immediately after getting a summon. The clan head had discussed their stance on the upcoming war and is readying their jujutsu sorcerers for battle.

His half-brother had made a not too subtle snarky remark about you. "You've already gotten yourself a woman? Wonder if she even likes you. I'm willing to bet Homura's cuter than her." Secretly his brother was curious about you, having heard about your special grade status.

Noritoshi steeled himself, knowing his brother's playboy tendencies at his school.

"That's enough. I am quite serious about her, so don't even think of taking her."

He watched his brother shut up upon seeing him like this and left him hanging.

'Heeehhh? That Noritoshi is actually interested in someone? Interesting…'

Other serious matters aside, his father, as usual, asked about you, only for him to find out you've both gotten into an argument.

The head of the Kamo clan only raised an eyebrow. "That’s normal for every couple."

Noritoshi kept his temper at bay. But he couldn't help resenting his phone call with his father that day. If his father was less controlling and obsessive over their clan status, maybe it would have gone better.

No... He was also influenced by the elders. Ashamed as Noritoshi was to acknowledge it himself.

“We… broke up…”

At that, his father shuts his eyes, mood obviously souring.

"You are literally a fated pair, how is that even possible? *sigh* If it proves too difficult with her… well we had that list of marriage partners set up for you. Homura has made it quite clear she and her family would be very delighted to assimilate with ours."

Is this what Noritoshi wanted? A woman who obviously flirted with him as she lusted for power? No, he wanted you, who never inquired about his status. Just about his family, his mom, dad and half siblings.

You made it very clear you were worried about his family's well-being. And whether they would like you or not. You want him to meet yours. You never even asked him for a gift or much favors. (Though he had a feeling your family was pretty well off, based on your clothes and jewellery.)

And he loved the fact that he could breathe like a regular teenage guy around you. The only thing you’ve requested from him so far was honesty and transparency.

"No. That won't be needed. Y/N is mine. She is the only one for me." He spoke slowly and clearly. This is the first time he actually disagreed with his father. He'd lose his sanity without you.

"I expected as much, I've never seen you this determined about something before. Soulmates are so complicated." His father sighed out. "Do as you wish. It isn't wise for me or the elders to interfere with something as sacred and ancient as this soulbond you share with her anyways."

Noritoshi felt himself earn a small win at that. He was growing a backbone. "Thank you father."

“However! You cannot force her to love you back. Surely you know this. If you don’t get married by the age of 25, as per our clan tradition I’ll have you set up with another woman.”

Noritoshi inwardly sighed, resigned to his fate.

◇◇◇

Needless to say, you trained like a demon as the eve of Christmas quickly approached. Nobody dared come 10 feet near you as you perfected your Blizzard and Tornado techniques. It was normal to hear the crack of a sonic boom and see flashes of lightning around you.

You were hesitant to use your cursed technique reversal. You barely use flames and Inferno in general, but it can't be helped. But now you hold a pack of matches in your hand.

You lit a match and manipulated the flames. It danced dangerously around your fingers before you moved it from one hand to the other.

You were doing well. Spending a lot of time here on campus helped you to control your emotions and not let anger fuel your cursed energy like you did when you were younger. Those were such bad habits.

A wheel of flame circled in front of you. Very clean and stable. All of the sudden, a strong whirl of wind and empty space extinguished the flames like a vacuum … Only one other person in Japan is capable of doing that other than you.

You turned your head to the side and saw an incredibly tall man with snow white hair and a pair of sunglasses approached you. His bright baby blue eyes gently twinkling and peeking over the rims of his shades.

“Satoru nii, it’s been a while. Why visit me now?” You tiredly asked. He came up just a few inches away from you, staring down at you.

“I got a call from Hiroki. I’m here to help you with your special cursed techniques. It’s time, you’ve stopped holding yourself back Neko-chan.” He leered down with his trademark grin.

◇◇◇

You spend the entire afternoon getting pushed around by Satoru. This man was crazy strong. He kicked you against a tree. “OOF” you heaved.

"You avoid using Inferno. Is it because of your childhood trauma? I'm not shaming you but it's something you need to overcome."

You frowned at his words.

"You only have today to train with me y/n! Aren’t you honored I went out of my way from Tokyo to Kyoto?”

"Like hell I am."

“You’re not using the full extent of your cursed techniques. That power is your one true ally in this world. Trust it a bit more. Apart from your soulmate anyways, but I can see you and Noritoshi aren't exactly swell right now." Your eye twitched at that statement.

Satoru eyed the broken strands of red ropes that floated around you. Not a good sign. It was reaching out to the distance. Maybe to where Noritoshi is huh, Satoru wondered. Until he spotted one thin string, still very much intact and alive. He grinned.

‘This prick and his fucking special eye abilities’, you grumbled. He hit your back hard, “What bad language you have. Imma straighten you up today kitteeeen~”

He pranced around you and squatted to lean down to your level.

"But seriously, you say you want to get strong but you fear your own power kitten. Don't do that." Satoru pointed straight at your eyes. “Remove the fear of hurting the people around you. Because you’re literally fighting to protect the ones you love, focus instead on harnessing your cursed energy to fight. Your messed up emotions could cost you a fight, even your life. Doesn’t matter if you’re a special grade like me. At this rate you won’t catch up to me.”

You slumped to the ground in defeat.

“To be honest, I feel like my growth has stunted. I don’t know if it’s the lack of powerful opponents I’ve had lately.”

He sighed out so loudly and obnoxiously that your anger flared up at him. “Thaaat’s what I kept telling you. You shoulda come to Tokyo Jujutsu instead of here! 100% I would enjoy teaching you and I mean it. I could teach you ya know, and Yuuta is there as well. Another Special Grade, although his circumstances are quite unique and with the way he is right now, you have a better chance at beating him one-on-one since he’s a newbie to this world. And yet you kept saying you wanted to be here for your family.” He shook his head.

You felt as though your head cleared up all of a sudden. “Because I was here…. I was meant to be here. Satoru. I know it deep in my soul. Because I met Noritoshi and…. “ Your heart throbbed so loudly you heard it in your ears. A deep pain stabbed into you.

Ah right. You said you were over him. You broke up with him weeks ago.

“And? You’re not together anymore. Figure out your heart and I could let you reconsider transferring to Tokyo Jujutsu High you know?” He said with a frown.

Why does the idea of leaving Noritoshi behind feeling like you were carving your heart out? He isn’t anything to you anymore and yet…

No. Enough of this. You’re here to train and fight that curse that killed Sora. Your emotions were all over the place. Satoru came up to you and wiped your tears off your face.

“What are you doing to yourself y/n? Don’t lie to yourself. I thought you wanted to live life as honestly as possible.” Even Satoru looked concerned and troubled over your state.

You gulped. “Yeah you’re right. I told myself I wanted to get stronger and protect the ones I love. Now I’m just running away. Noritoshi at least has been trying to reach out to me, but I shut him down.” Your heart is hurting.

Satoru stared at you and the cursed energy that was rapidly pulsing around you. Then grinned. “Then... Fight me one-on-one right here right now. Let’s make sure to keep the damages to a minimum and take care of the buildings. All the other students are still here on campus. Sky's the limit since both of us can move well in mid-air. I want to see you control your emotions and fight me properly. I’ll hold back.” He said.

You took a deep breath and looked back up. “Challenge accepted.”

You’ve envisioned this countless times. You wanted to see how you could match-up against Satoru and all his years of experience. You weren’t expecting to win, but you were not going down without a fight. Your cursed technique is actually a good matchup for his.

You can manipulate molecules. Though you suspect his control is on an atomic level, and thus could overpower yours due to his finesse and 6 eyes. But you could at the very least try.

Satoru, on the other hand, already knew of your potential. 'She is the only one I know who can actually touch and surpass me, given that she can control gravity and condense molecules. It will come down to timing and refining techniques.'

“Give me 5 minutes to suit up.” You asked. He agreed. You flew to your room and eyed the katana of your father. He actually planned to give it to Sora when she turns 16. But due to her death, he gave it to you instead on your 16th.

The name was Kintsugi, because it was made of two halves before being welded together in the centre with high grade steel. The center has a core of a fine diamond dust that’s infused with cursed energy. It’s a grade 1 special tool that multiplies the cursed energy you put into it by 10.

“Don’t break it. Don’t break it…. But It��s Satoru I’m going against. It will break.” And so you put it back and instead reached for your best twin blades and metallic whip. You coiled it around your wrist like a bangle, before flying back to Satoru.

“Done preparing, kitten?” He had removed his sunglasses and his blue eyes were out wide open as they assessed your cursed technique.

“Yep!” You yelled. “Ah Toru, shouldn’t we inform the elders or Utahime sensei that we-”

He didn’t give you time to speak as he appeared in front of you all of the sudden. Rushing with a right hook. You quickly dodged. He kept his word and is going easy on you at least.

You exchanged a few blows with him, both his limitless and your spacial barrier active so technically, no hits were landed.

Until you warped the space and forced the molecules around them to retract, making you actually reach and hit him.

He must have expected the solid punch, because in return, he kicked you as he warped off your spacial barrier. You eyed him as you regrouped. It’s anyone’s game huh.

“You’re still holding back! Are you going to be like this in a real battle? Are you okay with staying weak? Or do you have to wait for someone special to die before you ignite?!”

Oh no he didn’t. Your emotions raged, and you tried to calm them down. But all you saw was blood red. You never felt this angry at Satoru before. Before you knew it, you had activated inferno, making the entire surrounding area, which Satoru was in, combust and burn up in flames.

You lit up a match and pulled the flames on the ground and trees towards your smaller flame and held a massive ball of fire. Satoru was gone, it was only soot on the ground. You looked up to see him hurtling down at you.

You barely dodged, before wrapping the flames around you as you used it to strike at him repeatedly. You both rose up higher and higher into the air.

“Special art: Goldenrod,” you shot a bolt of lightning at Satoru only for him to dodge it. “Don’t just shoot it from your hands! Electricity is a current! You can make it run through your entire body!” He yelled as you both spiraled and fought over the campus.

He had the energy to teach you while you were fighting. You scoffed, but listened carefully, generating electricity in your hands before letting it wrap around you.

You were both dodging and striking at each other with such power. The trees swayed violently as winds and rubble were thrown about.

“What on earth…” Noritoshi and the other students stared at the flashes of fire, lightning, and wind above the campus.

The sky darkened. Good. If you had water, that was another asset.

He must have realized this as he immediately activated his Cursed Technique: Reversal. “Red.” You were forced back, plummeting to the ground. You swiftly turned and saw Miwa and Mai staring at you with horror.

You pulled yourself up back into the sky, still filled with fire and lightning, narrowly missing the building. You twisted your fingers to the side. The flames turned into the shape of the Dragon and you whipped back to hit Satoru from the front while your dragon of flame hit him from behind.

He danced around your attacks, teleporting from one area to the next to dodge them.

He then easily extinguished your flames with a flick of his wrist, but your lightning stayed. He can’t extinguish it, because it was coursing through your body, constantly moving.

You both stood, hundreds of feet high above the Kyoto Campus in midair. Lightning flashed above and winds howled.

You’ve never been pushed this hard your entire life. Not with Hiroki. Not with Todo. But Satoru was really on another level of strong. Unbreakable like a monster. He didn’t feel human anymore.

You tried for a Mach Speed hit, which you’ve never tried on anyone else; it would kill them on impact. “Mach 3.5” There was a loud BANG!

Going at Mach Speed has its limits of course. You can afford to do Mach 1, 5 times a day. Mach 2, 3 times, and Mach 4 only once.

A huge cone of smoke formed behind you as you launched yourself at Satoru. He was still able to evade you, but you pointed one hand to him, quickly following up on another attack.

“Fubuki.” Your blizzard technique was a combination of Niflheim and Tatsumaki. Cold air whipped around you and you thrust it towards Satoru. A mini tornado has formed around you and it pushed and pulled widely. But you were in the eye of the storm.

Satoru dodged your winds, but couldn’t escape them all, wincing as some small ice shards cut into his skin. He attracted debris and rocks towards you. One caught on your shoulder, making you yell in pain, but the rest you were able to guard against with your winds.

He immediately closed in on you to prevent you from doing another full blast and punched with ‘Red’. You countered with a roundhouse kick supercharged with your blizzard and lightning, neutralising his infinity jujutsu with a bit of mixed gravity control.

A huge gust of whirlwind was emitted from the impact, forcing everyone on campus down to the ground.

“GOJO! TSUCHIMIKADO! STOP THIS!” Utahime was screaming at the top of her lungs, still heard over the roar of thunderclap.

You both looked at each other and knew it had to end soon. Rain was starting to fall.

He threw his back and laughed out loud. “I hadn’t had this much fun in ages. You’ve grown really strong. Stop me if you can.” And flew away from the buildings and into the surrounding forest. You whipped your tornado around you and quickly followed him.

All the other students that had been watching you go at it followed. Utahime did as well. They stood from a distance as both of you exchanged more hits.

You lit another match and let arrows made of flames rain on Satoru, weakening his limitless barrier as much as you could. Only one arrow slightly singed his sleeve. Damn he was good.

Satoru attracted your body with “Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue.” You felt like your insides were tearing as you tried to stop his force. But his limitless technique easily overpowered yours. You let go and rushed towards him with both your swords out.

He easily sidestepped and kicked them out of your grasp. The hit was so heavy, even though it hit your swords, you felt the force reverberate throughout your body.

Satoru grabbed your neck from behind, and for the very first time since you were awarded the Special Grade Jujutsushi status, you were forced down onto the ground.

You used your cursed technique to soften the blow as much as possible, but Satoru was relentless as he slammed you head-first down onto the grass.

Everyone winced as you hit the ground hard. "He's not human." Mai said. Everyone agreed, not used to seeing you at the mercy of another party like this. They were reminded of who exactly was the strongest sorcerer alive.

In order to win against Satoru, your goal was to touch him and move past his limitless barrier. Even if it’s just for a moment. You couldn’t use Niflheim or Inferno from afar. He would remain unaffected as he guards and stops the change in movement of molecules around him.

But now his hand was around your neck. Your twin blades suddenly rush to close in around his neck in an x position to gather his attention, while you use your technique to warp the space around his hand to weaken limitless and hold onto him.

You lashed out with your metallic whip, letting your cursed technique run through it. It worked and scratched his cheek a bit.

"Enhanced gravity: Output 30%", the ground cracked underneath the both of you as a massive weight pressed down. And then you shocked both Satoru and yourself with the lightning coursing through you. Screaming at the pain in the process.

He gritted his teeth as volts shocked his bones.

Utahime and the others stared at both of you. "What a huge amount of cursed energy." Todo said in awe. "Non-standard Jujutsu users are insane."

Satoru still had the strength to hit your lower back which caused you to heave out and stop Goldenrod from activating. Both of your clothes were literally toasted. “Haha. You’re a scary one y/n.”

That’s all you remembered before you passed out; you were out of cursed energy.

◇◇◇

Noritoshi rushed over to take you in his arms. Pulling your unconscious body close to his, he gave you a once-over. You had just fainted from exhaustion, there were no serious injuries. Good.

"Noritoshi," Satoru called.

"Yes, Gojo San?"

"Take care of her for me please."

He straightened up, "Of course. There’s no need to ask that from me." He then carried you to the infirmary, holding you gently in his arms.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

Author's Notes: Me writing this entire scene: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! (x100)

Y/n was able to fight on par with Satoru, because he chose to limit his cursed energy output and match his skills to her level. A psychokinesis cursed technique would be a natural enemy for limitless since you can condense and expand space between molecules. But you still lack experience in battle. And if we were going to talk about Domains, Satoru would dominate the battle.

#kamo noritoshi x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk imagines #gojo satoru #jjk x y/n #jjk x o/c #jjk fluff #noritoshi angst #kamo noritoshi x you #kamo noritoshi x y/n #kamo noritoshi #jjk x poc!reader #noritoshi x fem!reader #jjk kamo #noritoshi x you #noritoshi headcanons #jjk noritoshi

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bookofmirth · 4 years

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I’m seeing a lot of people dismiss Elucien by claiming Elain doesn’t want him and “shrinks” away from him. I wanted to get your take on this. Cause how I see it is Elain desperately wants to feel in control again which is why she is pushing Lucien away. She has suffered tremendous trauma from being kidnapped by Hybern, turned into a fae against her will, being told she has a mate, her fiancé leaving her, having powers thrust on her she doesn’t understand, being kidnapped again, losing her father, and now having to pretend everything is fine because she sees how her sisters were struggling with their own trauma.

All these things happening to her and she hasn’t dealt with any of them, and that includes the mating bond. She hasn’t rejected it or accepted it. She just ignores it’s existence including Lucien himself. Given she has had over a year and still won’t even discuss the bond makes me think that is her way of taking control back. That she’s telling the Cauldren or the Mother or Fate to fuck off by deciding the bond doesn’t exist.

So seeing some other people claim that she doesn’t want Lucien I have to question that if that was definitively the case why doesn’t she outright reject the bond? Why drag out this feeling of limbo by ignoring Lucien or “shrinking” away from him? I see it as her taking control of her life back. She’s deciding she won’t deal with this thing that was pushed onto her by some divine entity. Same way she has pretended until ACOSF that her powers were gone.

And regarding the other unnamed ship for Elain I think that’s also a control thing. I think she genuinely cares about him. He saved her life many times and made her feel safe in this new crazy world she was pushed into. I just think that connection she has to him is the same as any traumatized person would have to someone who rescued them/experienced that same pain. I think maybe Elain is pushing for more in that connection because she feels this is a choice she made and not Fate. This relationship would be her taking control back. Which is why I could see them sharing intimacy that essentially will leave her feeling unfulfilled, especially considering his POV is more about what he thinks Fate owes him. Basically they would both be using each other.

Sorry I seriously could go on for another few paragraphs talking about how even in ACOTAR Elain was portrayed as the easy going one and that may be further evidence of her not dealing with her feelings… there I go again. This is a lot [insert I just have a lot of feelings gif].

This is really long, and I love you for your thoughts, and I am not one bit sorry that this took me like 45 minutes to write.

This argument is honestly the one that drives me crazy the most because we literally do not know what Elain wants. People keep saying “she’s not interested” or “they never talk” or “there’s no interaction” etc. Are they supposed to discuss the mating bond and their deepest feelings and thoughts about one another at Starfall, or winter solstice, or some other family function in front of literally everyone they know???

I’m sorry, but did we get an Elain book that I missed? A Lucien book? No, we’ve gotten Feyre’s story, and Nesta and Cassian and a bit of Rhys. Not once have we gotten a POV in which we could see Elain and/or Lucien discussing how they feel about one another without someone else present and/or interfering, without that information being filtered through someone else’s perception of how they feel.

And tbh? I think that’s telling. To me, that means it’s being saved for a future book.

Regarding the way that Elain supposedly shrinks from Lucien - again, if she really didn’t want to be around him, Feyre and Rhys would make that happen.

In acowar, their interactions were quite different because she had just been Made, her powers were still unknown, she was still mourning Graysen and her father. Elain had a lot going on. I always like to compare it to feysand, and what Feyre’s reaction would have been if she knew about Rhys being her mate as soon as she met him in acotar. There’s no way in hell should would have just instantly thrown Tamlin over for him. Why would we expect Elain to be able to make that shift in her affections so easily?

In acosf, page 311, there is “tightness” in her face when she makes an excuse for not being around, and this is Cassian’s POV.

Page 602, again Cassian’s POV: “Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that new-found boldness to be seen.”

Any conjecture about why she reacted that way is 100% pure speculation.

She could be feeling what Lucien feels because of the bond, and from what Cassian says it’s not a pleasant feeling.

She could be unsure of what Lucien expects of her.

She could be repulsed by him.

She could have such strong feelings that she shrinks because she has a difficult time hiding them (and she’s usually really good at hiding them).

She could feel such an intense pull towards him that she physically withdraws.

We literally do not know!!!

To me, it mirrors Wings and Embers when Nesta and Cassian were attracted to one another and he licked her neck, then she kicked him in the balls. I mean we literally have examples of this with the other mated couples where they are drawn together but still turn away from one another. However, we also got to see feysand and nessian one-on-one, from their own POV. We haven’t had that with elucien yet so any argument that says the above (she’s not interested, they never interact, etc.) has no basis in what we know.

What we do know is that she hasn’t rejected the bond. Whatever those reasons are, Elain could have rejected the bond a thousand times over by now, but she hasn’t. I actually don’t think she runs from her problems, at least not all the time. I know that people keep arguing that, but I’m not convinced. I’ll make a separate post about that.

Hell, Lucien could have rejected the bond a thousand times over by now!!!! Elain isn’t the only one who can do that, right?! And why would he choose to let it remain, when this pull is having such an effect on him? When Rhys said that it can make people go crazy if it’s not consummated? Like? Lucien has agency in this too, and of the two of them Lucien has a much larger stake in not letting this continue.

There is a year of potential interactions between them that we have zero evidence of and so claiming that they haven’t happened is like one of the priestesses saying that the sky doesn’t exist because they never see it.

My final point is that I think that we haven’t gotten this information because it’s endgame, because it will get its own book and become fully developed when it’s not filtered through other characters’ perspectives.

Okay my actual actual final point is that idgaf how Az plays into all of this because she can want to kiss him in that one scene, and everything I said would still be true. I think you’re right that they can find comfort in one another because he rescued her (and he also rescued Gwyn) and because he was trying to put her at ease in acomaf (because it was his job), and Az intentionally made himself seem unthreatening. Elain doesn’t feel the same pressure or expectation from Az as there is from Lucien, so yeah, she feels more comfortable around him. She can smile blandly and he can say “no Elain can’t do that” and it doesn’t challenge anything about their lives.

-fin-

#acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #ask #elucien #anon

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