#all of these archeological sites in the north of russia where you these tiny windows of access maybe a few weeks or a few days a year where | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

myrmica · 9 months ago

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despite my best efforts i still feel awfully agitated when i have a day where i don't get anything done (on my own creative projects. other types of work don't really register as accomplishing anything, doesn't matter if i was busy doing other stuff or feeling under the weather or resting etc) and it's very related to the "if i don't feel passionate about something i may as well not be alive rn" thing. not being focused towards something inspires such a feeling of dread. it isn't about productivity the way it appears on the surface i have untangled the root causes but not yet bested them

#m #my mom and i have been reading the naked neanderthal by ludovic slimak together and it talks about like #all of these archeological sites in the north of russia where you these tiny windows of access maybe a few weeks or a few days a year where #it's warm enough to access and you have to pour hot water on the ground to physically dig anything up and at the same time as temperatures #warm and ice melts things vanish incredibly quickly all of these long frozen corpses come up and start rotting again just like that #and you just have to accept that there's nothing you can do about it all of these traces exist but only a tiny tiny tiny window is ever #visible into this huge unknown mass of historical information #anyway thats kind of how it feels to be alive

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