#all of the possible applications of abilities make me go !!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

AI’s “human in the loop” isn’t

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

AI's ability to make – or assist with – important decisions is fraught: on the one hand, AI can often classify things very well, at a speed and scale that outstrips the ability of any reasonably resourced group of humans. On the other hand, AI is sometimes very wrong, in ways that can be terribly harmful.

Bureaucracies and the AI pitchmen who hope to sell them algorithms are very excited about the cost-savings they could realize if algorithms could be turned loose on thorny, labor-intensive processes. Some of these are relatively low-stakes and make for an easy call: Brewster Kahle recently told me about the Internet Archive's project to scan a ton of journals on microfiche they bought as a library discard. It's pretty easy to have a high-res scanner auto-detect the positions of each page on the fiche and to run the text through OCR, but a human would still need to go through all those pages, marking the first and last page of each journal and identifying the table of contents and indexing it to the scanned pages. This is something AI apparently does very well, and instead of scrolling through endless pages, the Archive's human operator now just checks whether the first/last/index pages the AI identified are the right ones. A project that could have taken years is being tackled with never-seen swiftness.

The operator checking those fiche indices is something AI people like to call a "human in the loop" – a human operator who assesses each judgment made by the AI and overrides it should the AI have made a mistake. "Humans in the loop" present a tantalizing solution to algorithmic misfires, bias, and unexpected errors, and so "we'll put a human in the loop" is the cure-all response to any objection to putting an imperfect AI in charge of a high-stakes application.

But it's not just AIs that are imperfect. Humans are wildly imperfect, and one thing they turn out to be very bad at is supervising AIs. In a 2022 paper for Computer Law & Security Review, the mathematician and public policy expert Ben Green investigates the empirical limits on human oversight of algorithms:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3921216

Green situates public sector algorithms as the latest salvo in an age-old battle in public enforcement. Bureaucracies have two conflicting, irreconcilable imperatives: on the one hand, they want to be fair, and treat everyone the same. On the other hand, they want to exercise discretion, and take account of individual circumstances when administering justice. There's no way to do both of these things at the same time, obviously.

But algorithmic decision tools, overseen by humans, seem to hold out the possibility of doing the impossible and having both objective fairness and subjective discretion. Because it is grounded in computable mathematics, an algorithm is said to be "objective": given two equivalent reports of a parent who may be neglectful, the algorithm will make the same recommendation as to whether to take their children away. But because those recommendations are then reviewed by a human in the loop, there's a chance to take account of special circumstances that the algorithm missed. Finally, a cake that can be both had, and eaten!

For the paper, Green reviewed a long list of policies – local, national, and supra-national – for putting humans in the loop and found several common ways of mandating human oversight of AI.

First, policies specify that algorithms must have human oversight. Many jurisdictions set out long lists of decisions that must be reviewed by human beings, banning "fire and forget" systems that chug along in the background, blithely making consequential decisions without anyone ever reviewing them.

Second, policies specify that humans can exercise discretion when they override the AI. They aren't just there to catch instances in which the AI misinterprets a rule, but rather to apply human judgment to the rules' applications.

Next, policies require human oversight to be "meaningful" – to be more than a rubber stamp. For high-stakes decisions, a human has to do a thorough review of the AI's inputs and output before greenlighting it.

Finally, policies specify that humans can override the AI. This is key: we've all encountered instances in which "computer says no" and the hapless person operating the computer just shrugs their shoulders apologetically. Nothing I can do, sorry!

All of this sounds good, but unfortunately, it doesn't work. The question of how humans in the loop actually behave has been thoroughly studied, published in peer-reviewed, reputable journals, and replicated by other researchers. The measures for using humans to prevent algorithmic harms represent theories, and those theories are testable, and they have been tested, and they are wrong.

For example, people (including experts) are highly susceptible to "automation bias." They defer to automated systems, even when those systems produce outputs that conflict with their own expert experience and knowledge. A study of London cops found that they "overwhelmingly overestimated the credibility" of facial recognition and assessed its accuracy at 300% better than its actual performance.

Experts who are put in charge of overseeing an automated system get out of practice, because they no longer engage in the routine steps that lead up to the conclusion. Presented with conclusions, rather than problems to solve, experts lose the facility and familiarity with how all the factors that need to be weighed to produce a conclusion fit together. Far from being the easiest step of coming to a decision, reviewing the final step of that decision without doing the underlying work can be much harder to do reliably.

Worse: when algorithms are made "transparent" by presenting their chain of reasoning to expert reviewers, those reviewers become more deferential to the algorithm's conclusion, not less – after all, now the expert has to review not just one final conclusion, but several sub-conclusions.

Even worse: when humans do exercise discretion to override an algorithm, it's often to inject the very bias that the algorithm is there to prevent. Sure, the algorithm might give the same recommendation about two similar parents who are facing having their children taken away, but the judge who reviews the recommendations is more likely to override it for a white parent than for a Black one.

Humans in the loop experience "a diminished sense of control, responsibility, and moral agency." That means that they feel less able to override an algorithm – and they feel less morally culpable when they sit by and let the algorithm do its thing.

All of these effects are persistent even when people know about them, are trained to avoid them, and are given explicit instructions to do so. Remember, the whole reason to introduce AI is because of human imperfection. Designing an AI to correct human imperfection that only works when its human overseer is perfect produces predictably bad outcomes.

As Green writes, putting an AI in charge of a high-stakes decision, and using humans in the loop to prevent its harms, produces a "perverse effect": "alleviating scrutiny of government algorithms without actually addressing the underlying concerns." The human in the loop creates "a false sense of security" that sees algorithms deployed for high-stakes domains, and it shifts the responsibility for algorithmic failures to the human, creating what Dan Davies calls an "accountability sink":

https://profilebooks.com/work/the-unaccountability-machine/

The human in the loop is a false promise, a "salve that enables governments to obtain the benefits of algorithms without incurring the associated harms."

So why are we still talking about how AI is going to replace government and corporate bureaucracies, making decisions at machine speed, overseen by humans in the loop?

Well, what if the accountability sink is a feature and not a bug. What if governments, under enormous pressure to cut costs, figure out how to also cut corners, at the expense of people with very little social capital, and blame it all on human operators? The operators become, in the phrase of Madeleine Clare Elish, "moral crumple zones":

https://estsjournal.org/index.php/ests/article/view/260

As Green writes:

The emphasis on human oversight as a protective mechanism allows governments and vendors to have it both ways: they can promote an algorithm by proclaiming how its capabilities exceed those of humans, while simultaneously defending the algorithm and those responsible for it from scrutiny by pointing to the security (supposedly) provided by human oversight.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/30/a-neck-in-a-noose/#is-also-a-human-in-the-loop

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en ==

[soaringwide]

PAC: How to enhance your personal allure and beauty? • Glamour Reading

This reading is meant to dive into your own personal glamour and find ways to magnify the way you appear to others, privately or publicly.

Beauty is about weaving illusions in some ways, but the best lies contain a part of truth. How to weave lies and truths to enhance your expression of beauty is what I'm going to try to uncover today, which is why we're going to look both at your natural abilities and untapped potential.

It's something I've wanted to do for a long time since it's a subject that fascinates me, and wanted to test it out in a tarot spread, so a pick a pile readings seems like a good starting point.

If you'd like a personal reading, I'm in the process of opening my website but in the meantime I'm available through DMs.

As always, this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not apply 100% to you. Take what resonates and leave out the rest.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

PILE 1

Cards: The Hanged Man, Death, The Chariot, Knight of Cups, The Fool, 7 of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, Ace of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles

First, let's look into your natural beauty and talents, if you will. This is easy to tap into and you might already do it to some extent, and is what people perceive from you at first glance.

I see someone with a strong, magnetic presence that might be intimidating to some people, giving the vibe of someone who is confident and knows what impression they want to give off. You have a very deliberate style and strong personal allure that might lean into darker types of aesthetic, but it would definitely be ornate, romantic (in the true, dramatic sense of the word) and as far away from minimalism as possible. I see you choosing little elements that others might not notice but that are full of meaning and symbolism for you, like a piece of jewellery, or swapping the color of your shoelace or socks to fit into a vision you have in your head. Wearing hats or headpieces might also be something significant for you. You see your clothes and other visual upgrades as some type of armor you wear to feel stronger, more confident, and make a great impression on people around you. You like being noticed and want people to find you beautiful or stylish, but at the same time have very little regard for established rules and like to bring a twist of change in the way you appear to others. It's like you're already practicing glamour naturally, funnily enough, because I see you magnifying your natural talents already and you definitely are shrouded in some type of glamourized, attractive mystery.

When it comes to your ideal archetypal beauty, what you can draw inspiration from to push yourself even further, i see you as someone who embodies the characteristics of going against expectations when it comes to style and appearances. I get the idea of playing around with gender expression (might not apply to all or be applicable to varying degrees), going against what's commonly assumed to be fitting for your perceived gender to create something unique and different, but it could also simply be about going against common taste. It's about carving out your own path, inspired by yourself and your unique perspective on life, and by extension, on your style and appearance. This is not someone who follows trends and style guides mindlessly, but someone who is not afraid of calling everything into question, in order to incorporate what they choose and add their own unique flair to it. Taste is subjective and it's something you can learn to lean even more into.

Now, for the untapped qualities, or raw power you can learn to incorporate, I see strong Uranus influence, which was already highlighted in your ideal archetypal influence.

There is an elements to finding joy and pleasure in shocking others a little bit. Letting yourself be completely free with your style expression, but keeping personal enjoyment in mind. The goal is not to shock for the sake of being an obnoxious eccentric, but going to the core of what makes you feel empowered and free and fining the graceful pleasure in it. There is also the idea of weaving some type of illusion so that people can never guess what you're going to do next. I think you have an untapped natural talent for manipulating how others see you a little bit. Right now you focus on your personal magnetism, but you could push that even further and endow yourself in whatever illusion you see fit for the time or situation. I see you being able to work on your appearance like a beautiful work of art, following the vision you have in mind.

For how you can magnify everything I mentioned, here is what I see.

First of all, it seems that despite all the great things I said about you, deep down, you feel quite inadequate and vulnerable, which is perhaps why you put so much effort into your ''armor''. I've got to tell you that these doubts are only in your mind and that the powers I describe are felt very strongly by others, they might just never say it or only give you a light compliment, which you don't even take into account. You seem to keep these worry very private and assume everyone can sense that when it's not the case. So yeah I definitely see you are already doing sooo much but it's just in your mind you don't see it, which is the first thing you need to focus on. Because I think that these doubts might influence your stylistic choices to some extent, which would be self-sabotaging your natural and ideal strengths. Therefore, you first need to clear out these thoughts and hurts in order to see yourself as others see you, in your highest potential.

Secondly and once you've done that, you definitely are advised to invest further in your appearance, and by that it could be money but also time, effort and energy. I feel like there is a new direction that is available to you, perhaps to switch things up a little or express some things more intensely. In both cases, the very strong message is to be deliberate in your vision and keep your eyes on this. I think you already do it to some extent, but here we're talking about Glamour, glamour, like, it's not enough to pick a pair of earrings or the color of your top, you need to focus on what it is the impact you want to have on others is, and how to best achieve that, keeping in mind the strong Uranian influences about being your own Icon and breaking boundaries along the way. Really, the next step involves planning and deliberate steps. Don't just throw whatever in your cart but be mindful of what story it's telling and if it aligns with your vision.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

PILE 2

Cards: Queen of Cups, 8 of Swords, The Star, The World, The Lovers, The High Priestess, Knight of Cups, The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, 9 of Cups

First, let's look into your natural beauty and talents, if you will. This is easy to tap into and you might already do it to some extent, and is what people perceive from you at first glance.

What's actually really interesting is that there seem to be an opposition between constriction vs liberation, as embodied by Saturn in Aquarius qualities. It seems being in touch with your imagination and ideals is natural to you, you appear dreamy but in a melancholic way, a loner that people don't approach easily. People might get the sense that you are lost in your thoughts and that something else is taking your attention. You don't project a strong sun-like charisma, but rather, charm people when they get close to you and get a feel for your rich inner world. You are very authentic in the way you approach your appearance, as in, you don't seek to appear as someone you are not, up to a fault I'd say. Like, if you don't hold a high opinion of yourself that might stop you from dressing how you like because it doesn't feel true in some way. It's also like you feel constricted when you have to follow a dress code and would rather be able to wear whatever puts you at ease in the given situation, but then again it's a problem is you feel weak or stuck because it influences your choices. On top of that, I'm again getting strong ideals, so I would not be surprised if your social or political ideals influence the way your present yourself. Perhaps you have an inclination towards sustainable fashion or cruelty free beauty and it helps you feel more aligned with your inner world.

When it comes to your ideal archetypal beauty, what you can draw inspiration from revolves around the idea to let your idealistic and creative nature run free, like the waves on the ocean's shore. This hints at a poetic approach to your style and appearance, with the desire to evoke gentle feelings. Your archetypal beauty is one of a siren, enchanting and mysterious. You might benefit from beautifully ornate jewelry, nacre, pearls and shells come to mind, and I'm also getting renaissance inspired aesthetic like cherubs imagery and dramatic silhouettes, rosy cheeks and braided hairstyles. The ocean is wide and mysterious, fascinating and unknowable, and that's definitely an allure you can harness at your highest potential. Even in that configuration, you're still highly focused on your inner world but it appears on the outside as well.

Now, for the untapped qualities, or raw power you can learn to incorporate, I see a few messages.

The thing is that, despite the saturnine influences, you do have raw potential for a more radiant and inviting, shall we say, energy to you. With the Lovers which is connected to Gemini, you can really learn to actually express your rich inner world and come across as communicative and adaptable regardless of the social situation. Balancing out the coldness with warmth and being more inviting if you will. Someone people can't stop looking at, which implies you actually have to get out of your comfort zone and accept being seen by others.

Paired with you natural characteristics, this has the potential to increase your magnetism and make you mysteriously seductive because people will tap into both layers, sensing an inviting and charming first impression but also getting a feel of your deep inner world. There is also the potential to truly express your emotions through your clothes and appearance and thus sticking true to your desire for authenticity. Don't shy away from being creative and even artistic with your appearance. You have a natural inclination toward romantic styles and flowyness (sheer fabrics or silk-like textures) which can make you stand out in a crowd. Approach your style like a dream, something that is felt intensely and that you can get lost in. Play around with color combinations, and I would suggest having fun creating color palettes that evoke specific feelings rather than being minimal because you want to blend in. You can really project a striking vibe with your newfound confidence, with the help of your clothes and beauty care.

For how you can magnify everything I mentioned, here is what I see.

First of all there is a need to change you ways drastically. As we saw, there seem to be an opposition with how people currently see you vs what your potential is. Don't get me wrong, everything is present within you but it's like it's dormant. I sense you being somewhat stuck in your routine and stylistic habits and reluctant to change anything. You are being called to step up and take actions toward change. Dare to wear what makes you feel like your creative and dreamy self. You know yourself well but if you truly want to change the way people see you you have to take deliberate actions towards that. Not by wearing what you think people want but by going to the highest vision you have of yourself.

You would also benefit greatly from a more optimistic outlook on yourself and learn to communicate happiness, ease and expansion. Be more generous with your energy, which means that you don't have to hold everything in in fear of being judged or disliked, but rather learning to stand strong in your individuality and communicate it to others. Not everyone will like it obviously but those who do will be enchanted by your presence.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

PILE 3

Cards: Ace of Cups, The Magician, 3 of Pentacles, The Hermit, 9 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, King of Cups rx, the Fool, 7 of Cups, 3 of Swords

First, let's look into your natural beauty and talents, if you will. This is easy to tap into and you might already do it to some extent, and is what people perceive from you at first glance.

I get strong Mercury qualities when it comes to how you naturally appear to others. You manage to seduce others with your quick wit and knowledge on many different subjects. It's like, there is nothing you don't have a smart or funny opinion on and people love that about you. You are highly intellectual and I think you like mirroring that in your appearance, favoring established aesthetics and proven formulas, relaying more on your personality than your clothes so to speak. And if clothes you chooses to put the accent on, I see a more traditional and refined approach. Modest and put together. You are meticulous in your choices and don't like appearing messy. Nothing comes in excess, you pay attention to color and texture harmony and like a balanced, classic look. As a result you appear serious and put together to others.

When it comes to your ideal archetypal beauty, what you could embody when pushed to your highest degree, with the Ace of Cups, it is quite abstract than a given aesthetic. I see you having the power to initiate strong positive emotions towards others. Perhaps they admire you or have fond feelings for you, or they may fall in love or become friends with you easily. You make them feel easily connected to you by you presence and allure, you energy having that color that drives people in. It's like, a very friendly and gently type of charisma.

Now, for the untapped qualities, or raw power you can learn to incorporate, I'm not sure why but I feel a strong rag to riches vibe here. As in, it is possible that you have experienced mental and financial hardship in the past, a situation might have improved to some extent, but that probably isn't fixed completely yet. That left you scarred and you try your best to hide it, which is why it's in the raw power position. I see the potential to use that as a strength to add depth to your character. With the King of Cups reversed, you feel inadequate and undeserving. I'm getting the sense that when it comes to glamour, you can fake it till you make it so to speak. Don't forget we are talking about magnifying your allure and I think there's definitely an air of like, you know who you are and you are aware of your situation, but you don't want to appear that way to others. It's strange because for all pile I got strong impression and aesthetics here, but for you it looks more like something that's dragging you down, which means there's a potential to turn it into a strength in some way. You got the Ace of Cups as ideal archetype and the King of Cups is nothing but the Lord of this Ace, so if you manage to flip it you can embody its quality and empathetic, abundant authority and trigger positive feelings in others. There is also this idea that, even when you make that shift, you won't forget where you come from and will keep being highly empathetic and kind, and that will be part of your charm.

For how you can magnify everything I mentioned, I notice a strong idea of starting fresh and stepping away from the heartache that plagues you. There is a youthful carelessness to it as well, the idea of opening yourself to the world and see the richness you have within with your larger than life personality. You would benefit from letting that aspect of you loose a bit. You are a bit chaotic at heart and this is so so endearing to many.

Furthermore, don't get too focused on glimmers, as all that shines is not gold. I think you may have a tendency to seek material things to counter or hide your difficulties with money, but here it's all about character expression when it comes to charm people. But be mindful of how you interact with others as to not to appear aloof or unapproachable.

If you liked the reading and want to tip me, I have a ko-fi.

[fatuismooches]

Thinking about dottore with a reader who was extremely passionate about music

Like even back in the akademiya days. Maybe they only joined to appease their family. Reader would always be rambling about transferring maybe to a music school in Liyue or Fontaine but stuck around to look out for a certain blue haired scholar who could barely remember to eat his meals…

Reader probably never got to fulfil their musical dreams considering they probably moved to Snezhnaya to be in the labs with Dottore (or if it’s fragile reader they kinda lost the ability to perform over the years) which is very sad

Prime + all the segments probably fight just to try to stand the closest to your door to hear you potentially start humming or something, hoping that you don’t notice them and stop

Since you were young, your family was never particularly supportive of your hobbies or pursuit in the art of music, more interested in pushing you toward academics. You fell into the role they wanted you to play but you always hoped to transfer out of the suffocating Akademiya and be somewhere you could openly express yourself, saving money here and there. Even when you met Zandik, that dream was still in the back of your mind - but you didn't share it with him until he found out your talent of his own accord.

He always knew you were hiding something when you woke up early and wouldn't come back until later, and eventually, he just followed you and silently listened to the combination of your instrument and voice. You found it funny that he of all people would be the one to understand your passion, but really, it's not all that unbelievable - of course it'd be him, the one with the most open mind (albeit a bit stubborn sometimes). Since then, you always took Zandik deep into the forests of Sumeru whenever you wanted to play for him, so no one else could risk hearing. He was content to listen while he worked, and he was content to listen to you rant about the latest performance in another nation or go on about how a great school is accepting applications or- you get the point.

Though you don't regret going with Dottore all those years ago, you regret the state your dream is in. Although you don't talk about it much, the scholar is very much aware of your sacrifice to join him for his dreams. Therefore he makes sure you take time to practice your craft and will ban you from work if need be. Or if you're too sick to, whenever there's a musical performance in the nation, he would arrange for a segment to take you with the best seats, or if that's not possible, he would look for the spincrystal of the performance for you to listen to.

Regardless, they still do their best to support you, and at the end of the day, one of the only ways for Prime to fall asleep is due to your soft voice.

"You know, if you want to listen to me, you can just ask. You don't have to creep around in the shadows..."

"I did no such thing, darling. I merely did not want to disrupt you."

[lizdenys]

Outer Wilds (Video Game) AO3 Tags appreciation post

Of course, no one cares about spoilers quite like Outer Wilds fans care about spoilers:

major outer wilds spoilers

Slight game spoilers

DLC Spoilers / Echoes of The Eye spoilers

art book spoilers

allusions to the dlc but nothing in depth

spoilers for a small but important part of the story

don't read it unless you've played it

as in plot and quite literally a solution to a puzzle, so don't read if you want to solve them all yourself

DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED ECHOES OF THE EYE OR FINISHED THE MAIN GAME

all the spoilers ever for everything outer wilds you have been warned

idk what else to tag pretty much everything is a spoiler

I can't even write tags without spoiling

DO NOT SPOIL YOURSELF MY GOD

I'm a little afraid of posting this because it might spoil something inadvertantly

Spoilers!, but this is outer wilds, you probably know the drill

so don't spoil yourself!!

So here's the requisite Outer Wilds "There will be spoilers!" warning because there will be spoilers throughout this post from this point on, okay?

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's start this off like every run, with a cozy campfire, shall we?

Campfires

Campfire stories

there will be mallow roasting over a campfire

Marshmallows

S'mores (OMG how much I wish someone - anyone - got to make a s'more.)

And Riebeck is a big marshmallow

Implied/Referenced Drug Use

just two high buddies chillin and talking about stuff

Now that we're all enjoying perfectly-roasted marshmallows, let's get to it:

breaking spacetime in pursuit of science

they/them pronouns

it is more difficult than I thought to avoid gendered words

Based on my friend's inability to fly and ability to land anywhere

feldspar is a newbie to anxiety

Dark Bramble scary

Third wheeling except your crush is in love with the entirety of space

quantum tomfoolery

the tyranny of linear time

Something about the horror of eternity

the fabric of spacetime is hanging on by a thread

infinite possibilities brain go brrrrrrr

impulsive feelings about chert today

the hatchling just wants to share their findings they're so excited

little tiny bit of cosmic horror

this was written in about 20 minutes (I really need to know if this "about 20 minutes" was, in fact, 22 minutes.)

they're gonna be fine in 22 minutes just

this heist could have been a meeting

Hornfels needs an advil

somebody go save hatchling im begging get this kid a marshmallow

they can have one happily ever after as a treat

Feldspar and I both have no idea how to raise a baby in general

there is so much trauma in this owl

this literally came to me in a dream

Gabbro is depressed in this one because you can't convince me being so blase about losing their ship, and being able to meditate through a supernova is the hallmark of someone mentally well

gabbro is also doing so fine and normal and also does not have any hearing problems (lie)

They all need a hug, Except the anglers

Someone invent therapy for these three, They're going to need it so badly

Spacetime needs therapy after this

Anyway let's go die horrifically in space! ::D

trauma bonds

also i totally stole the main premise for this fic from a mod

when gossan goes low slate goes lower

hatchling was not supposed to be a kazoo player but they're really stubborn

i just think the player should be allowed to play an instrument (Me, too.)

Quartz-Typical Disregard for Ethics

canon typical disregard for affliction

There is an eject button for a reason

does it count as major character death if they come back?

Is it still considered the end of the world if its the entire universe thats dying?

the possibly applicable archive warning is major character death, but you knew that already didn't you?

the many deaths of you

Canon-Typical Suicide, thats an insane tag but its Outer Wilds sooooo

Five Stages of Grief, with a 6th secret stage (Can we call this "the sixth location of grief" please?)

i really tried not to make it sad at the end but the loops are tragic man

I Made Myself Cry

Okay, let's wrap up with all the varied "not beta read" tags this exquisite game lends itself to, nay, demands:

No beta we die like REDACTED

no beta we die like. well. you know

No beta we die every loop

no beta we die like the hatchling

no beta we die like hatchling (horrifically)

no beta we die like gabbro, chill and overstressed

No beta we die like real hearthians

no beta we die like everyone in outer wild does

No beta we die like the sun

no beta we die like the sun every 22 minutes

NO BETA READERS WE DIE LIKE THE STARS

no beta we die like the universe

No beta we die like any time-looper worth their salt

No beta we die like the homeworld

NO BETA WE DIE LIKE NOMAI

No beta we die like 5/6ths of best girl (I teared up reading this tag.)

no beta we die like the prisoner (I nearly sobbed reading this tag.)

No Beta We Just Cry

No beta we die like the fish (Not gonna lie, this one is my personal fave.)

[bonebeautyart]

Every day Saint Just doesn't stop impressing me. Since I set out to deeply analyze his theories and applications (this has helped me a lot taking Philonenko and Abenseur as a starting point, then adding to Nietzsche that his theory really fits with Saint Just) I felt very lost analyzing it only from the metaphysical perspective, the result was the same and honestly it did not convince me. The morning of two days ago I found myself cleaning my room, and that's when I find my Aristotelian logic notebook from my university career. I decided that perhaps a much more structured way of being able to analyze it was in it, if his theories are quantifiable within a mathematical system (which is the most balanced), confirms the veracity of his theory.

Then I proposed to do these analyzes within his speeches and concluded that the reason why what he has proposed has been misrepresented so much is because these discourses are read paragraph by paragraph: separated. Then, if their speeches are separated in such a way, they seem to float and have no congruence. BUT, the following happens, if you decide to put the complete discourse (outside of conventional dialectical interpretation) to a system of codes that confirms the premises and their relationship with the conclusion, where it is asked to prove some argumentative void or contradiction. If the result was an argumentative void the result is negative, if the discourse is homogeneous it is codifiable, then it is affirmative.

The result is more than impressive: All of his speeches are not only absolutely congruent, but do not present an ideology that molds them as a basis, more than pure logic. He does not expose "passionate" speeches as he has been called, but data, quantifiable and statistical data. This not only makes it formidable, but there is no method to question, because if this attempt at judgment is coded, it marks as false or empty.

This impressed me but it didn't stop me. I decided to aspire more and with the help of it I managed to introduce all the political work that he proposes. There is not even a void. He was not creating a closed and narrow political system, but a living system that flowed almost like kinetic energy. This is not even idealistic or utopian, because it is confirmable by mathematical codes and systems. There is no structural gap or hesitation with a dependence on opinion. This is not a system, it's political architecture, I think I've never seen it.

The institutions are something completely different. These momentary results are pleasant at least for me. But I must take the time and study of being able to formulate the theorem that he proposes. As a theorem, this seems utopian at first glance, but it is not because it is unreal, but because humanity is limited by traditional politics. If you can encode and make a mathematical scheme and affirm it as true, it can even be considered as another type of logic. That gives him a standard not only as an average theorist, but a major league theorist and one of the most rigorous and capable there is, because it is possible to go down to practice.

Thermidor is not a failure in the structure of his system, but the logical confirmation of the system's ability to remain coherent. The deficiency was the assembly.

Some screenshots that I was taking hahaha. This is a first step, really if we decide to go deeper, I have no doubt that you will find something more complex.

This is the logical confirmation of why Thermidor occurs. Saint Just was more organized during Thermidor than the Thermidorians themselves.

The "M" at the end indicates that the only logical way out of the system is death 😭

This is the system that he proposes in a schematized way. Although the graph is bad because I despaired hahaha, it even has an exact geometry.

[ayatadascorpio]

Unknown Circumstances of a Creation

June 2006

I have acquired a new animation software application, even though I have no prior experience in animation creation and my current lack of artistic skills. As of now, I am still in the process of learning. My recent focus has shifted since assuming my current affiliate position and past events. I found myself preoccupied and haven’t been drawing as much lately. The past events are still hard for me to comprehend, despite the many years that have passed. My memories have been jumbled and I’m still trying to sort through it.

Initiating Adobe Flash to start and reading all available instructions on how to utilize the application. I try all the tools, timeline, keyframes, and other features available. I begin by making lines and shapes using the tools, then making them move frame by frame and with motion tween. I also experimented with drawing, albeit, nothing too detailed or complicated. Just to see how it turns out in this animation application.

Perhaps, it’s time to start animating something different besides lines and shapes.

A stick figure serves as a good start, I remember it being the first thing I drew since my lack of artistic ability. I employ my mouse to draw a basic black stick figure, which I subsequently convert into a symbol.

Name… I stop and ponder, should I even name it something with significant thought…

‘victim’

It’s moving… the stick figure is moving. After I have given it a name, it starts to move on its own.

I didn’t need to animate it and it exhibited movement as if it came to life. Is this one of the animation application features? It wasn’t written anywhere and shouldn’t be possible. Advanced technologies are primarily to be utilized for military or research purposes. Outside of that field, not many technologies weren’t close to the level of advance.

Perhaps it’s because I’m using his computer in particular… but does it extend to the drawing created inside the application?

Turning my attention back to the stick figure. It seems to try breaking out of the transformation box. Rotating the supposed box around and seeing the stick figure inside it got tousled around due to the rotation. I try something different, drawing an anvil, it suddenly falls as if the concept of gravity exists. It was going to impale the stick figure, but it managed to move itself and the transformation box just enough so it wouldn’t get squished. The Anvil still destroys the transformation box, freeing the stick figure inside.

It retrieved the fragmented transformation box, hurling it towards the cursor as it sprinted and leaped to grab the cursor. The stick figure remains holding on, as I move the cursor to try breaking its grip. It remains holding on despite that, shifting the cursor towards the tools and timeline, it finally let go of the cursor.

Paying it no mind, my intent to try the application tools was intervened by the stick figure as it grabbed the icons and threw them at the cursor. Picking the lasso tool, I proceed to try using it like a real-life lasso by wrapping it around the stick figure, the stick figure swinging in mid-air as I move it around with the lasso.

The stick figure manages to grab the magnifying glass and throw it toward the cursor, freeing it from the lasso. Trying an alternative method, I attempted to draw a ray gun, attempting to recall its appearance from the numerous video games I once played. The gun works as it fires a ray leaving behind burn marks.

The stick figure evaded the blast and then utilized the application tool to sabotage the firearm, causing it to detonate and damage the animation timeline, resulting in the keyframes falling from their place.

Employing a similar approach, a gun turret is drawn, with keyframes serving as bullets. With the gun turret's trajectory adjusted to target the stick figure, the turret fired a shot. The stick figure, utilizing the eraser tool, successfully deflected the projectile. Subsequently, the stick figure utilized the pen tool to construct a defensive barrier. The barrier is used like a projectile, with the eraser tool as the arrow, shooting the eraser toward the turret, striking the turret, and erasing portions of it, rendering it unusable.

Creating more weapons to use against the stick figure and then binding it against the scroll bar. Moving the cursor as to delete the symbol of the stick figure, it crosses out the delete option and hits the cursor away. It then manages to copy itself to get an advantage by utilizing all available things on the application and proceed to launch attacks on the cursor as unisons.

With a simple click on the “X” button, everything stops as a notification window appears, requesting confirmation for the saving of the current work. With not much thought, I clicked the “No” option.

Perhaps further testing is required, but this time other than a stick figure. I draw a simple bird and nothing happened. I draw various inanimate objects and some have worked as if it isn’t merely a drawing. I draw a horse and nothing happens. There's no clear consistent pattern on what can become alive, although most that have shown to work so far are inanimate objects.

These unpredictable events reduce my motivation to use the application due to the lack of clarity regarding potential outcomes.

Perhaps I should continue this a couple of days later...

Initiating Adobe Flash again, I try to recreate what I have done a couple of days ago. Creating the same stick figure with the same symbol name I watch as it begins to move. Letting it move around for a bit before grabbing it with the cursor. It attempts to free itself but I simply let go and the stick figure falls from the great height. It slowly rises from the falling it takes but before it can do anything I click the option “Cut” and the stick figure is gone.

The creation of the stick figure exhibits the same as the initial result. I find these events hard to comprehend on what could lead to this outcome. But my schedule is going to be busy for the upcoming months and trying to make sense of this isn’t my top priority.

I’ll resume when I have nothing to do, to see why these drawings begun to move on their own. To determine if something is alive, one should know whether it can die.

For the time being, perhaps I should just draw on paper…

September 2006

Creating the same stick figure many months ago and creating a miniature circle. The circle, when drawn, exhibits a weight-bearing, ball-like behavior. Proceeding to launch it at the stick figure with each one I increase its size from its initial miniature from. The last one large enough that it completely crushes the stick figure, yet the stick figure continues to demonstrate movement as it emerges from beneath the imposing sphere.

Drawing a stair while the stick figure moves from beneath the sphere. Finishing the stairs, I placed the stick figure on top of the stairs. I observe as when it is drops at the top of the stairs it wobbles before stumbling and descending the stairs. When it falls at the bottom It appears stationary but then exhibits signs of movement trying to get up.

Is it simulating the experience of physical injury?

November 2006

I was simply trying to animate a fish in an aquarium, but it still isn’t fluid in its movement. All the drawings so far don’t display independent movement or move on their own, unlike the stick figure. Getting an idea, I draw the stick figure with the same procedure for it to become ‘alive’.

Seeing the stick figure move on its own the fish that I have drawn also move lively around the supposed aquarium. It swims around despite no indication of water, using the bucket to color the aquarium, only to have my attention on the stick figure wildly moving and floating as a drawing of bubbles generated from its supposed head.

Grabbing the stick figure to drop it outside the tank, it moves with a deliberate, cyclical pattern reminiscent of inhalation and exhalation.

Paying no mind I simply delete the stick figure as I continue to observe the still-moving fish swimming in the tank.

December 2006

Creating a weapon to be used like the first time, I drew a set of fireworks and witnessed it launched in various directions some towards the stick figure that is moving away. Trying another item, I draw a bomb watch it ignited, and descend down, exploding as it reaches near the stick figure. Upon detonation, the stick figure is launched away from the explosive force.

From this current test, I notice that the things that I have drawn seem to manifest to life after the stick figure is created.

March 2007

The stick figure seems to survey its surroundings, finally noticing the cursor as it pauses its motion. I employed the eraser tool and directed the cursor toward the stick figure it responded by moving away upon noticing the cursor drew closer. It seems to have memory data on what has been happening throughout. The stick figure starts to sprint in an attempt to make distance with the cursor, but by simply shifting the mouse to the side as do the cursor moves with quick speed towards the moving stick figure. The stick figure's legs were erased as the cursor came in contact, yet still moved away using its hands in replace of its legs. The remaining portion of the stick figure leaving only its hand as the final outstretched limb, but nevertheless, all were erased.

Pressing the undo keys, the stick figure reverts back to its full body. In perfect condition and capable of movement. The stick figure quickly sits up and touches its own body as if inspecting its own form. Using the shape tool, I constructed a box to confine the stick figure, ensuring its stillness.

It merely needs to be redrawn with the same procedure for it to be active.  How about when the application is closed? Is it like rebooting every time the application is initiated and the stick figure is created with the same procedure? Does it just stop the same way when an application is closed?

Perhaps I should check the program that could be one of the causes for this. I never managed to see the actual programming he did. He never states that it could make drawing on the computer become animated. I think he once said that the things that become ‘alive’ with his programming are-

CRASH

“Max...?”

“MAX!!!”

I shout and hurriedly run towards the source of the crash, leaving behind the computer unattended.

I spent the remainder of the day digging a grave…

And sat beside them as I lost in thought becoming oblivious to the world around me.

When the day has darkened, I return inside. Upon recalling the unattended computer, I returned to check on it only to discover the animation application in ruins.

The stick figure nowhere in sight.

______________________________________________________________

My first time writing in this form. Trying to write in Alan POV is a little difficult. Due to how he behave and his mannerism in this AU. Try to sprinkle some worldbuilding and lore. Of course being an AU, not everything is going to be fully the same as the original. And also due to the fact most of the stories are written before AVA 11.

Still tho, hopefully you all enjoy!

Get to know AVA Remembrance AU

[skyemagica]

Skye's DIY HRT survival guide

After making a comment about DIY HRT on another post I've been helping a lot of people with supplying (and if you need help with that, shoot me a message!), while also pointing them in the direction of the DIY HRT Directory for other important info/tips, but I thought it would be nice to have the information readily available on Tumblr. (Especially considering the increased need I expect in the next four years. Stay safe.)

I can only speak from personal experience on transfem dosing, effects, etc., but I've tried my best to make this guide thorough for transmasc and transfem people!

How should I dose? Ultimately, it's up to you, but there are some helpful pointers as to where to start. Starting with testosterone, a low, medium and high dose of gel and injections:

And for estrogen - many girls going the legitimate route get started on an extremely low dose of estrogen (such as 1mg a day), but I can say that I started sublingually on 6mg, haven't had any nasty side effects and after only 4 months am having both visible and psychological/emotional changes. However, there is the rare but real possibility of your body having a negative reaction to your method of application, so going slow even for just a day or two might be worth your while. I got 6mg from the DIY HRT Directory, assuming you're also taking an anti-androgen. (More on those later.) As for injections:

What do I dose with? Again, it's up to you, though there are considerably more estrogen options than testosterone. Testosterone is typically available in injection and gel form, while you can get estrogen in pill, spray, gel, patch, or injection form. The reason injections are often recommended for estrogen is because of their affordability versus other methods, plus the ability to do monotherapy and not need an anti-androgen. (Anti-androgens are pills that block testosterone - extra cost, extra potential side effects. It is theoretical to reach monotherapy with other forms, but you should be aware of what a higher dose of E does to your body before attempting it.)

This does not mean you have to do injections for an effective transition. Thousands of trans people have met the goals you have in your head without injections - it is possible. We have technology! Er...pills, rather.

If you are in an unsafe environment, or even if any little thing makes you doubt your safety - lock up your medicine. Whether you have to hide it inside a sock, stuffed animal, or can afford an actual safe/lockbox, no one else has the right to interfere with your medicine. Life unfortunately doesn't always follow the linear patterns in our heads of wanting to be safe before we can start HRT - sometimes the noise in your brain gets so loud you run out of other options and have to take the risk.

If you think that your safety or shelter could be put at risk by starting HRT, look into resources in your area for queer and unhoused people. Have a go bag ready with your necessities. Set aside some extra money on an "emergency" prepaid debit card, especially if anyone who affects your safety also has access to your money.

Blood tests are ideal, but not required. I would be a hypocrite to encourage them too much, as I'm unable to get any right now without raising suspicion. Unfortunately, a lot of trans people are going to be in this same boat, or similar boats due to cost, inability to purchase in their area, etc. If this is an option for you, Private MD Labs, LabsMD, and Walk-In Lab provide private blood tests in the US without having to go through a doctor.

There are still visible ways to see that your dosage is working - they may not all be immediately recognizable, but within a few months you should have several signs. In my transfem experience, random erections were the first thing to go away, followed by a sudden emotional change (why am I crying at The Lion King for the first time when I've seen it many times?) and the starting of breast development. Transmasc individuals might notice some stubble growing, their voice getting lower, an increase in acne, increased appetite and sex drive, etc.

Where do I want my levels? Generally, you'll want your levels in the expected area for an adult cis male or female.

Transmasc: Total testosterone (T) 300-1000 ng/dL, estradiol (E2) lower than 50 pg/ml

Transfem: Total testosterone (T) below 50 ng/dL, estradiol (E2) above 100pg/mL

Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither are beards and boobs. It's very easy to get impatient with the results of HRT, but much like your first puberty, it's a process that takes several years. DIY does give you the advantage of adjusting your own dosage at your will, but if you don't have blood tests easily available, you're taking a shot in the dark. Here are some charts that give an estimate of the time range you should expect the changes of T and E, but everyone's body is different!

Can HRT make you gay? You may have heard of the phenomenon of people suddenly becoming attracted to men, women, or both when they start their hormone therapy, even if they weren't before. (There's not a real scientific backing for this, but it's documented enough to be listed as a side effect in some places.) And no, the HRT didn't make them gay - but it can change your sexual urges, and as you become more in tune with your true self, you may be more willing to notice or just accept things that you hadn't in the past.

I'm sure I'm missing things so there may be a part 2 later, but for any pressing questions just reply or shoot me a message! (This is how I've decided to try to help others through the upcoming unprecedented hell, for now. And if no one's told you this recently - you're not a burden, thank you for being you, and thank you fur trusting me to help!)

(Of course, don't just listen to me, I'm a dodo. I highly recommend reading through everything on the DIY HRT Directory when you have the chance! It is the main source for the info here, as well as my own personal experience, /r/TransDIY and GenderGP.)

[iamatinydinosaur]

Hello! I really liked the wording of my application and thank you very much :DSomething I hadn't considered until I read it is thatThe brother reader will have unconsciously seen Ramón on a couple of occasions as a father figure since he was the only one who took care of the reader for 20 years. Thinking of Ramón as a “papá luchon” seems adorable to me (in my country we refer to single fathers and mothers who support their children with their own work, without any other presence to help them, therefore, they have to fight against the adversities) If possible, can you write something related to this topic about Ramón and the reader? (gender neutral)

🐾Branch🐾

Through the Years

You were 3 and Branch was 5 when Grandma died. It was just you two. You watched as your older brother lost his colors. You were so scared. Branch saw this and promised he would never let anything happen to you. You were all he had left. Grandma's death effected you a lot, just not to the extent that it effected Branch. You were afraid of everything, never wanting to leave Branch's side. He preferred this anyways.

You Age 7 and Branch age 9

You ran into the bunker crying. Branch ran into the main room. "Y/N what's wrong?!" He exclaimed seeing you covered in scratches, dirt and slightly bleeding. "I w-as col-lecting berries and some sp-id-ers attac-ked me." You hiccuped. Branch got a napkin and wiped your tears away. "I told you to wait for me before you went to go get the berries." He whispered grabbing a warm bowl of water with a rag and a first aid kit. He rung out the rag and started wiping the wet rag over your face to get rid of the dirt. "I wanted to surprise you and show I'm getting big and help you." You pouted, sniffling. "You do so much. Maybe if I helped more maybe your colors would come back..." You looked down. Branch's heart swelled. He kissed your forehead. You looked at him shocked. "You're growing up too quickly. Stop it." He said smiling as he cleaned your scrapes. You giggled.

You age 10 Branch age 12

Branch laughed. You had made a dance number to your favourite song. You wore a silly outfit and danced horribly. Branch knew he had to help your dancing ability. You stroked your ending pose.

Branch fell on the floor laughing his hardest. "Did you like it?!" You exclaimed jumping up and down. Branch wiped his tears getting up. "It was amazing. But let me help you improve the dancing. Your voice is amazing but your moves..." He teased. The rest of the day Branch showed you to do the moves better. This was the first time in 5 years you had seen him dance again. "Just like that see." He said turning to you. However, he froze seeing tears in your eyes. "What's wrong! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.!" He exclaimed hugging you. "No, no. You used to dance and sing all the time before Grandma... I just missed this." You mumbled hugging him.

You age 14 Branch age 16

It was Branch's 16th birthday. You had gotten up at 4. Branch gets up at 6 am everyday so you wanted his birthday breakfast ready before he got up. You had been practicing this breakfast for the past month after he's gone the bed to make sure it's perfect. It was about 5:55 when you had finished. You made for the both of you eggs Benedict, blueberry scones, fresh apple juice and bagels with an assortment of jams. "Morning Y/N, why are yo-" He stopped mid sentence when he saw the dining room table. His eyes watered and looked at you. "Happy Birthday Branch!"

You age 18 and Branch age 20

You layed on your bed, covers over your head. You sniffled. You had just got back from what was supposed to be your 1 year anniversary date with your partner. "Hey." Branch said softly holding two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream. He placed them on your bedside table. You curled into a tighter ball. Branch sighed sitting on your bed. You slowly pulled the blanket off your face. Your cheeks were puffy, tear marks ran down your face and your eyes were bloodshot. "What happened?" He asked pulling your head onto his lap. "They broke up with me. They love someone else." You whispered burying your head into his stomach. This irked Branch. This low life scum hurting his baby sibling. "When I see this punk again I swear." He grumbled rubbing your back. This made you giggle slightly. "I made your favorite, hot chocolate." He whispered brushing your hair. You rolled over and sat up. You smiled taking it. You knew you'd always be able to count on your big brother.

A/N: I loved writing this. When I got this request I always thought Branch would only show you things he never did in the first movie (just not singing) I hope you like it!! ✨✨

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

I'm going to give you a prompt my brain gave me but that I haven't made any progress writing. My idea is that Adam from The Bright Sessions is Atypical and his ability is fusing with other people like the gems in Steven Universe. Because this requires some degree of physical, emotional, and cognitive synchronicity, he probably wouldn't discover it until one of the many moments he and Caleb almost kissed before they started dating. Then Adam has to deal with becoming a new person sometimes when he's with Caleb, figuring out who that person is and their name, whether Adam wants to tell his parents about this, how Wadsworth would react, and a slew of other issues. I imagine that Adam's fusion with Caleb would get to experience the world on the stakeouts. The College Tapes would also definitely happen differently, since I'm not sure Caleb could hide his pokemon evolution from Adam if they fused and Adam being Atypical himself deals with many of the problems that caused them to break up in the first place

Me, who's seen zero (0) episodes of Steven Universe, looking at this prompt: hmm... I don't really know what to do with this... but I bet I could get 750 words out of this concept somehow.

Me, 2000 words later:

No but for real, this prompt ended up bringing me SO much joy to write. Once I figured out the general idea I was going for, I really hit the ground running, and wrote the whole thing in just a couple hours! I really hope you enjoy what I came up with!

(and as always with prompts, if I didn't end up writing your idea exactly how you envisioned it, you are of course so allowed to write your own fic with the same idea! Or a continuation of my version! Or you can always request that I write my own continuation! Two cakes, etc!)

This takes place vaguely post-season four. CW for references to Safe House, kidnapping, depression, PTSD, etc. Canon-compliant angst :)

Send me prompts to help me finish my 2024 writing goal!

By this point in his life, Adam Hayes feels like he’s pretty much got a handle on how all the atypical stuff works. There are specifics that keep crawling out of the woodwork to shock him– Damien, for example, as Adam’s recent brush with kidnapping proved, as well as his Aunt Annabelle’s evil villain arc, which Adam is admittedly still getting used to– but the general gist of it all, he’s got down.

The gist being: there are people with superpowers. And there are people like Adam. Normal. Boring. Safe, until they’re not anymore.

He’s not worried about it. Not consciously, anyway. He trusts, for reasons he can’t even explain, that Damien really is gone for good, and that even if he weren’t, Caleb’s beating has officially moved him from the “superpower” category to the “boring” one, leaving him no more threatening than any other asshole white guy.

(He does not let himself think about the fact that Damien was as good as powerless when he hit Chloe with a lamp, or how six months later she’s still dealing with the effects of the resulting concussion he gave her. Adam will simply keep a can of pepper spray in his backpack and continue to convince himself that he will never let his guard down around Damien like Chloe did, should their paths ever cross again).

He has enough other things, better things, to focus on– his Yale application, and then finals, and then preparing to live away from home for the first time ever, and on top of all that, his boyfriend– that for six months, he manages to think about the safehouse incident as little as humanly possible (nightmares notwithstanding). And not once does it occur to him to make the connection between almost being kidnapped by a whackjob mind manipulator and something his mom said to him almost a year ago when he first got her to sit down and talk about atypicals with him: Sometimes abilities start to manifest after instances of trauma.

After all, making said connection would require Adam to admit (even just to himself) that he experienced a trauma, which he has no intention of doing because that would mean he’s even more fucked up now that he already was.

Besides. There are two kinds of people in the world. People like Caleb. And people like Adam. An atypical ability “starting to manifest” is just something that was never going to happen to him.

Until today.

He’s at Caleb’s house, which is always a little bit complicated because Caleb’s parents (not to mention his nosy little sister) are way more likely to be home and “interested in what you boys are up to” than Adam’s. They try not to complain about it, because it’s sort of a miracle that the Michaelses’ only reaction to Caleb’s endangerment at the safehouse was “no more therapy” and not “no more boyfriend,” and the last thing Adam wants to do is give them any reason to change their minds on that, but it is annoying. They’ve learned to be quiet.

Caleb’s sitting up against the headboard of his bed, facing the “just ajar enough to be plausibly called open” door, while Adam straddles his lap, poised purposefully on his knees to be able to roll off and into the desk chair placed strategically next to the bed at the slightest sign of someone approaching.

Like I said. They’ve got a system.

Adam usually enjoys kissing Caleb more than he enjoys just about anything, but he’s not feeling it today. Not even in a “his depression is bad so every sensation is muted and foggy, much less his libido” kind of way, but just like… he’s preoccupied by something.

Caleb must notice, because he breaks the kiss and takes Adam’s face in both his hands so he can look him in the eye. “Hey. You all right?”

Adam opens his mouth to lie, but if he tells Caleb he’s fine then they’ll go back to making out, and he’s not sure he actually wants to do that. So instead, he says, “What am I feeling right now?”

Caleb gets the little crease between his eyebrows that Adam loves and hates in equal measure that means he’s really focusing in on his empath ability. Adam knows him well enough by now to be able to track the turning gears behind his eyes– he can see the moment when Caleb separates his own feelings in his chest from Adam’s and starts to analyze them.

But then his frown deepens, and he says, “I… don’t… know.” His eyes meet Adam’s. “Purple. And like… stretchy. It’s not an Adam feeling I’ve ever felt before.”

Adam sits back in surprise, hands falling away from where they’d been looped around Caleb’s neck. “Wha– seriously? We’ve known each other over a year. I thought you’d have felt all the Adam feelings by now.”

“So did I,” Caleb says, frowning into the distance again. “It’s weird.” Adam’s stomach flips, just as Caleb adds, “Oh, shit, now you’re– sorry, I didn’t mean to make you, like. Feel bad. New feelings are probably super normal.”

Adam rolls his eyes, trying to brush away the guilt eating at him, and whatever he’d been feeling before– the purple, stretchy distraction– intensifies.

“So, uh… what is that feeling?” Caleb asks, rubbing absently at his chest, like Adam’s emotion is causing him some kind of physical discomfort, which does not help much on the “Adam not feeling like a burden” front.

“I don’t know,” he admits, climbing all the way off Caleb’s lap to sit cross-legged in front of him instead. His feet were starting to fall asleep, and his hands feel a little numb– he wrings them, trying to rub feeling back into his fingers.

“Is something on your mind?” Caleb asks, laying a comforting hand on Adam’s knee.

“No,” he starts to say, because there isn’t really except for the fact that he feels a little weird all of a sudden, cold like there’s a draft and a little unsteady, but somehow what comes out of his mouth is, “Damien.”

“What?” Caleb says, voice sharp and close in Adam’s ear in a way it wasn’t before, even though neither of them has moved. “You were thinking about Damien?”

“No!” Adam says, for real this time, and then winces, knowing Caleb can feel the untruth, and amends, “I mean, not– I guess, not consciously, just… I guess maybe I’m always thinking about him? In the back of my mind?”

The purple, stretchy feeling inside him– and damn Caleb’s stupid emotion color metaphors, but that is a good way to describe it– expands even further, pressing tight against his ribs like it’s trying to break out of him, and maybe Caleb can feel that too, because he takes Adam’s hands in both of his.

“I think, sometimes,” Adam continues, words flowing out of his mouth almost without his permission, “I just hate that he got away with it. Like, okay, he spent, what, four months? In a basement cell that Mark was trapped in for the better part of five years? Oh, so his only consequence was having to leave town and be normal like the rest of us? Like that’s so fucking bad? Chloe still gets headaches and you’ve got all this guilt to deal with and Damien just has to be normal?”

The more he talks, the more the purple feeling fills him up, and red hot anger right alongside it, and a distant tiny part of himself knows that he should calm down before he says or does something he’ll regret, and that he’s probably freaking Caleb the fuck out right now, but his vision is starting to white out around the edges, and the purple and red warring for dominance in his stomach are making him feel sick, and for a moment or two, the only thing Adam can focus on is the warm, rough sensation of Caleb’s hands in his his.

Adam blinks, and the world turns upside down.

Or, no, wait– not upside down. Backwards. He’s facing the door now– sitting where Caleb was just a second ago. His anger has dissipated, but the purple stretchy feeling is still there, if settled, somehow, like it’s filled him up enough that he can mostly ignore it.

But something’s still wrong.

Maybe it’s that he feels bigger now. Taller. He brings his hands in front of his face and they’re hands he’s never seen before– big, with thick fingers and skin a lighter shade of brown.

Maybe it’s that Caleb’s gone– nowhere to be seen, the room totally empty, the spot on the bed in front of him already growing cold– or that Adam is too.

Because he’s not… quite… Adam anymore. He’s not Caleb, either.

The thing that’s wrong is that he’s someone new.

He scrambles off the bed, stumbling a little on new big feet, and rushes over to the full-length mirror hanging on the back of Caleb’s bedroom door. He touches his face, and those big hands cup Caleb’s stubbled cheeks. He touches his head, and thick fingers tangle in Adam’s messy curls. He’s wearing Caleb’s jeans, tight around the waist, and Adam’s Black Keys t-shirt, hanging just above his belly button like it’s been cropped. He’s gotta be at least six and a half feet tall.

“Holy shit,” he breathes in two voices, and the purple thing inside him snaps.

Adam hits the floor with a shout, curling protectively around himself out of instinct. Next to him, there’s a twin cry and thud as Caleb is thrown to the ground with equal force. Adma pats himself down, feeling his skinny arms and pianist fingers, the shirt that fits and his hair on his own head.

“Holy shit,” he says again, voice high with panic but purely his.

“What the hell!” Caleb agrees, scrambling back away from him. Adam backs up against the opposite wall, giving Caleb as much space as he can without leaving the room– Caleb doesn’t need Adam’s alarm in his chest on top of his own.

Plus maybe Adam feels like something you shouldn’t get too close to at the moment.

“What was that?” Caleb gasps, staring at him with big, wide eyes.

Adam shakes his head. “I don’t know?”

“But that was– that was you, wasn’t it?” Caleb pats his chest, like he’s still trying to convince himself he’s real and solid– Adam knows the feeling. “How did you do that?”

“I don’t know!”

Footsteps pound up the stairs, and Mrs. Michaels calls, “Caleb? Adam?” She raps perfunctorily twice on the half-open door before sticking her head in and sizing them up: Adam cowered against one wall, Caleb still on the floor and huddled up against the other, both of them looking disheveled and wild, like they’ve been up to who knows what. “I heard a thud, are you boys all right?”

Caleb looks from Adam to his mom, and hurriedly gets to his feet. “Yeah! Yeah, Mom, sorry, we’re– we’re fine.” He takes a calming breath, like he’s gotta prove it, and gives Adam a charged look. “Right, Adam? We’re okay?”

But Adma can’t imagine lying right now, not even just to get the adult out of the room so that he and Caleb can debrief in private. He feels wrong still, and monstrous, and so far from normal it hurts.

“I don’t know,” he whispers, and can’t help the first dark thought that springs to his mind:

Is this how Damien felt?

--

TBS tag list (lmk if you want to be added!)

@pandoradeloeste

@genericgirl420

@sizzlingjudgebanditpaper

@ziggy-st4dust

@flibbertigibbety-jibber-jabber

@friendlyfishboy

@bakugouuuwu

@alexacat57

@jaytheunique

@mercale

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Josh on Ashlander burial practices- a wip

Still writing this up, but this section speaks of what happens just before death and discusses the three aspects of the soul. As usual this is all HC and only applies to what's going on in my own fics. Though, a lot of this is a stretching of already established lore and built upon from historical sources that I feel fit what Morrowind was trying to go for as far as Ashlander Culture is concerned.

The second, and possibly the most important component of this rite, is the lighting of what our seers term “Spirit Fires”. These heatless flames serve as conduits for our ancestors to move through, like a turquoise beacon that allows them to hear our prayers. The spell is a simple one, belonging to the school of Conjuration and is taught to all those within the tribe who possess magical talent, myself included. This is because everyone is expected to honour their ancestors, so that they are not forgotten. The spell must be shared freely amongst those of us with the ability to conjure it, though this gift is mostly found amongst the women of our tribe.

This phenomenon is why we view working with the ancestors to be mostly the domain of women, I was told this is for practicality reasons. Those few men with the gift are also taught the art, though they are given a different role within the tribe.

This, in my experience, is where we see similarities between the practices of my people and the New Temple. Though it was not all that different prior to the schism that occurred in the late third era. I am unsure of the reason for this, as I fully admit to not listening to the sermons in my youth, but it is an observation nonetheless.

As one of our own comes to the end of their life on this plain, we will call our seers and wise woman to prepare them for the journey they are about to embark on. This involves providing comfort as the person passes, asking for guidance from the ancestors, blessings and the application of ash paint along the forehead. Usually, the markings would invoke the same hymn that is sung to call our ancestors to us. Ilaba’andul-Maesa Nibani, Ilaba’andul-Maesa Ki’s predecessor, had told me that the script imbued a similar magical conduit to the Spirit Fires. It all serves as an insurance to the dying mer, knowing that their ancestors knew they would soon be joining them.

As the mer’s heart stops, and they breathe their last breath, the singing continues for another three rounds. It is thought that this gives enough time for the spirit to leave the body and split into its fundamental components:

Breath: That which sustains us, it is the part of us that controls our bodies, that makes our hearts beat. Why we bleed when cut, the part of us that feels pain and joy.

Shadow: The wanderer, the part of us that stays on Nirn and is reabsorbed into the breath of the Ashlands. This is the part of us that remains on Nirn after we pass; it is what reincarnates when the Three Good Daedra feels it’s necessary. This is the aspect that was believed to be found in each of Nerevar’s Incarnates.

Personality: The Ghost, the part of us that is responsible for our thoughts, feelings and decisions. It is who we are, what makes each of us unique. This is the aspect that we contact when we wish to convene with our ancestors. The aspect of us that can be bound and used as a mortal sees fit. This is the aspect of us that can be split, and the part of us that, when not cared for, can become consumed with a maddened rage.

[liondrakes]

Autocosm: Finding Plurality Through Me, Myself, and My Other Selves

by Sivaan of Candlekeep

Blurb: A personal essay that discusses my discoveries on my plurality, particularly through my headmates who’re alternate versions of me from parallel lives.

I’ve considered writing about this during my run of the Alterhuman Writing Challenge, but I forgot to do so after going off the beaten path. The beaten path being my own list of prompts, funny enough. Since we’re growing more accustomed to each other, I’ve decided that it’s time to re-introduce myself… and my other selves.

While looking into communal resources, I’ve been easing into the reality that I am plural. I’m specifically a part of an autocosm, which is a network of selves who share the same soul or self-awareness across various realms and worlds. With me are three aliens, two people who should be dead but aren't, a sharpshooting demigod, a flying horse, and an anti-capitalist spacefarer. Each took root within my fictionhood. They are also my headmates.

So far, there’s nine of us:

Ade, a zonai

Solai, a Roman half-blood

Quinn, an undead plush amalgam

Ink, a monster without a canon who took up being a wandering, interdimensional creative

Calvin or “Cap”, a human mutant who pilots The Unreliable

“Bea” or The Beyonder, a reality-warping cosmic entity

Makame, a dream traveler from Phantomile

The Grassland Hunter, a yautja who also goes by their cultural name Sa’ya’la

And of course— yours truly, who is a whole lot of things, including everyone listed above.

Most of my headmates are versions of me from parallel lives. The only cases where this isn’t applicable are Quinn and Sa’ya’la. Rather than be one of my parallel lives, Quinn is a sentient copinglink. Sa’ya’la, on the other hand, is a sentient fictionflicker. Yet, since I still identify as them (or at least the concept of them), they are counted among us.

Not every fictomere is a part of our autocosm, though. I may harbor the memories and thoughts of other versions of me, but not all of them connect with the autocosm. I suspect some don’t even know that we exist.

Furthermore, I know for certain that none of my core identities are potential headmates. Those identities exclusively belong to me, as in the me who is writing this and goes by Sivaan. While we agreed on “autocosmic” as a descriptor, the terminology surrounding autocosm (the noun) tripped me up since I would technically fall in between being a metasoul and a lunan.

For autocosms, a metasoul is the central self that connects us all. In simpler terms, it is our point of origin. A lunan is an individual whose existence stems from the metasoul and shares a sense of selfhood with both the metasoul and others connected to it.

In our case, the metasoul is one of my core species: the gold dragonne. Since we’re parallel lives of the gold dragonne, or me, *dragonsight informs us of each other. Even so, I feel like I’m neither the “center” of our group nor a fragment of myself in the way that my headmates are. The metasoul is one of my core species, but I’m not always that species. It’s an awkward spot that makes me feel a little alienated from the proposed framework of an autocosm. Because of this, we also agreed to avoid using those terms when describing our connection to each other.

*In Dungeons & Dragons, dragonsight is a dragon’s ability to perceive alternate versions of itself from different realities.

Besides autocosmic identity, our experience is closest to a gateway system. I’d say it’s the main label for our plurality, whereas autocosm specifically refers to those of us are, well, me. My selves can depart to and fro from their realms. I’ve had soulbonds who’ve done the same. Early into my personal explorations, I recall referring to the body as a vessel of sorts. Around then, it was in regards to the fact that much of our memories and noemata seemed to pour into this body. However, that was solely from my perspective. In retrospect, it’s possible that this body is a vessel in the literal sense in which it serves as a waypoint between my headmates’ world(s) and our headspace.

There are members who don’t leave, though. Ade and Quinn stick around since they theoretically should be dead in their worlds. On the flip side, the only member who doesn’t leave their realm is Cap. He’s the leader of a whole space crew, so he rarely stops by in our inner world. Instead, he talks to me and whoever else is present through his radio. For a connection so far away, his alternative is surprisingly efficient.

It’s not just us here, either. We’re accompanied by habitans, which is the only autocosm-based term we use. A habitan simply means someone who isn’t one of us. They aren’t someone or something I identify as nor are they a parallel life that I have. Nonetheless, they still live alongside the autocosm.

How habitans exist in our headspace can differ. For example: there’s my dæmon, Maxwell. As a dæ, Max is a thoughtform segmented from my subconscious. He takes the form of a raggiana bird-of-paradise; previously, he was a rainbow boa. His position as a habitan isn’t the same as say, Rina and Hachi, who both entered our headspace as accidental soulbonds. Since many of our daytrippers have left permanently to attend to their own matters, we have a total of four habitans. Our Scrivener Construct is the fourth and final habitan of our collective thus far.

Regarding those of us within the autocosm, we don’t have roles. Although Quinn, Ade, and Bea motioned in favor of having roles and offered to take up roles of their own, we came to the conclusion that collectively establishing roles would be inconsiderate of our selves who’re more active within their own realms. Ultimately, if someone wanted to perform a specific duty within our headspace, then they’re free to do so on their own accord. However, no one is required to do the same.

Recently, Quinn took up the role of being our protector. Although he has a rough history with guarding, he decided to take up this role anyway because he was actually given a choice unlike his past experiences.

Despite being such a wild card, Bea took up the role of a protector as well. While Quinn protects the interior of our headspace, Bea oversees travel to and fro from the headspace, making sure folks reach their destinations safely. They also keep an eye out for any beings from outside of our collective, allowing or denying access to the headspace if need be. No one gets in and out without Bea knowing. Makes sense since The Beyonder, in-source or otherwise, is as far-reaching as it gets, metaphysically speaking. I guess that’d also make them a gatekeeper, but they’re admittedly not fond of that title.

In Ade’s case, he took up the role of being our internal self helper. He helps me keep in touch with everyone and support the structure of our inner world. He and I often share this role by comparing notes and conversing extensively on what we know so far. Scrivener assists us from time to time too. Based on my suspicions last year, there were already signs of them doing that before I came to terms with being plural.

As for me, you could kind of say I’m the “host” since I’m the main one operating the body. To be fair, it’s not exactly a job anyone else wants. Last year, I once thought I stress-shifted into a zonai at my job. However, according to Ade, that “stress shift” was actually him fronting for the first time. It at least explained why “I” suddenly didn’t know how to work the machinery at my job. That’s because Ade’s never worked with earthen technology before! He’s loathed the idea of fronting ever since.

Rina, Hachi, Quinn and Ink are the ones who’re the most interested in joining me while I front. They're like passengers while I drive the car. However, only Quinn and Solai have expressed interest in co-fronting with me. In Quinn's case, he wants to know what it feels like to have a human body again. In Solai's case, it's because it just wants to see the world again without being bothered by quests or otherworldly interruptions.

Occasionally, Cap will ask me to describe things on my end out of curiosity. Although he’s made peace with his Earth going dark, and the fact that our Earth is different from his Earth, he still misses what he once knew. He likes to hear about the mountains I grew up around and the places I’d visit while in college.

Otherwise, everyone else couldn’t care less. Bea has allegedly seen better and is content with the role they currently have. They don’t care to operate the body, despite matching its appearance internally. Makame and Sa'ya'la are disinterested since they’re already familiar with this world as interdimensional travelers, similar to Beyonder.

That then leaves me. Not much of a role when I hold the position that no one else cares to have. I do appreciate Quinn and Solai’s interest, though. I'll take them up on that in the future.

That’s all we have noted for now. Although I’ve had experiences related to plurality since last year, particularly through dæmonism and soulbonding, the reality of being plural is still new to me. We’re not even bothering with -genic labels since it adds nothing of substance to any of us. Our origin is entirely metaphysical. That’s what matters.

All in all, we’re an autocosmic gateway system. Although we technically could label our experience as median, we stick to autocosmic since its terminology acknowledges headmates who aren’t one of us (i.e. alternate versions of me).

[would-you-punt-them]

I don't know how you do it, but I haven't recognized any of these characters (except having a very vague idea of who William Afton is) and just looking at the pictures, I almost always decide to punt. Something about the pictures you choose (I think it's their typical facial expressions combined with the angle of their heads but idk) makes my go my foot is ready. Special shout outs go to the two falling anime girls, who were coming down at the most optimal punting trajectory possible, and the Kirby dude, who was soccerball shaped for my convenience. Also, turns out I can't bring myself to kick a cat, no matter how evil he(?) might be.

actually, the truth is i also don't recognise the vast majority of the characters you guys submit

honestly, sometimes i think you guys are speaking in tongues

the thing is, even though i sometimes joke that i literally have no applicable skills other than tumblr polls, that's not entirely true

turns out, after 7 months of running @hot-take-tournament i have developed exactly one applicable skill

i've never once received a take on a fandom i'm familiar with, so when i make polls and puns and personalised yes/no responses i always do it from scratch

as a result, i've gained the ability to scour the internet for information on pretty much anything extremely quickly

and i am able to use that in real life, it genuinely really helps at college

to give you an idea of how fast i am, when i get a lot of punting submissions all at once, sometimes i like to set myself a time limit of 15 minutes and then see how many characters i can research and poll within that time

not to brag, but my current personal best is 16

that's a poll on a character i know nothing about, complete with a picture and popular fandom tags, queued every 52 seconds

so basically, i don't recognise the characters, but give me a dedicated half hour and i'll know all your blorbos better than you do

[weird-dere-writes]

Sooooo 👀 how'd y'all meet 👀 what kinda powers do you have 👀 same guild 👀 👀

How me n Yuno met is a good ass question I'm not gonna lie 👀. I haven't thought about that part just yet. At least not in depth. I'm thinking maybe something gets me really really mad and maybe he and the two squad mates he's always with are somewhere around. My magic gets really strong and dark for a sec. They sense it and go investigate. Not so sure that will be the actual way though. Just a quick thought I had at one point. Gonna keep the brain juices flowing and get back to you on that one UwU 💗💗💗. As for guilds, we are in different ones mhm mhm. He is a knight in the top guild in ranking, The Golden Dawn. I am in another very well respected guild The Crimson Lion Kings. Emblems for the two below~

Gonna tag Nana here ( @oooohno ) bc she asked the same question after u Kitten :3

This one I have been thinking of! :DDD

I think in this world my power attribute would be star magic 🌟.

Some specific abilities I've been thinking about:

Constellation Mapping - Using my abilities to create a 2D or 3D map (depending on the situation) of a given area, showing the magic signatures of people within the space as well as possible traps. The view is a deep blue and glittery like a night sky would be. And connecting a path between people or areas for passage would make it look like a constellation uwu.

Aurora Haze - A high temperature haze that would surround a target or targets that would look like the Northern/Southern Lights (aurora borealis/australis), serving to dampen their abilities by having them sweat out their mana (like the Ultime Volcano Grand Magic Zone). Also disorients them. The landscape they see through/outside the haze remains the same but all the people outside the haze disappear. Sometimes their comrades in the haze with them will take the appearance of the people they were fighting outside the haze. Could lead to them fighting eachother mmmm.

Restorative orbit - In which a number of colored stars searching for different kinds of injuries orbit around the person or people being healed, and begin shining light on those areas to restore them to their original healthy state. If the injury is internal, the part being healed will glow through the person's body like an x ray. It will be the same color as the specific star healing it. Made a little diagram below owo.

Racing Comet - A long range offensive attack. Drawback of this attack is that it takes a bit for it to form, and therefore will hardly ever be an element of surprise. It starts with a star I create and has to suck mana from the atmosphere to get larger and more powerful. Once it reaches a certain amount of energy, I send it wherever I desire and it shoots across the battlefield as one would in space, lighting fast. Combusts/explodes on impact, leaving in it's wake both ice and fire. Great attack. Only caveat is I can't miss lol.

As I grow as a wizard knight, I will learn more. But this is what I've come up with so far :3. Trying to be well rounded with applications of these four abilities fr, rather than just attack heavy or healing heavy mmm. Thank you both for asking! Helping me build my universe mhm mhm!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[donascozylivingroom]

HOW TO SHIFT PARALLEL REALITIES.

This is if u struggle to understand the concept.

I'm an old lady of 30 yo and I found out about shifting parallel realities when I was 22 so I've had quite some time to simmer on it and even some success with its application.

We are definitely in the era of shifting parallel realities, finally, now.

People talk about it much more, so I decided to make a logical written explanation of it.

For those of you that struggle with affirmations and mental diet, meditation is definitely important. it's a way of knowing urself and ur mind better.

The ability to silence ur mind at will or focus it on a "mantra" comes with a lot of mindfulness - observing ur mind and what it does w/o judgement.

To be smart and get to the age of 30, you start accumulating a lot of knowledge and kinda have a mental toolkit for a lot of things. So me posting this sh@# is from tried and tested things, not just my musings of the day.

ok so parallel realities.

i learned this from Bentinho Massaro in 2015, i don't really follow the guy anymore or would suggest u do it necessarily, i just wanna give him credit.

So he explained basically that when u get to tomorrow, u will be in the present moment, even though in ur mind it was the future. And yesterday you were in the present moment, too, although u call it past. One second ago and one second after are still in their own present moment. so there is no time, there is only the One present moment.

So basically because the Universe is infinite, all possibilities already exist.

In this reality, you can make choices, u could go to the grocery store today or stay home and play video games. You have free will. You could basically start those things you know would help you achieve your dreams, or not. It is a choice. Every second of the day you have choices. You could speak now or not speak.

But all these choices are parallel realities that already exist.

i believe the universe still creates by combining things/realities that were not combined before based on us, and our free will choices, so being infinite and mathematical it keeps on creating through us, free will agents of consciousness/gods.

Anyways, he explained parallel realities like this: imagine u are watching a movie on ur laptop/device. You could stop it at 1:06, print the picture, and then stop it again at 1:07, print that image too, and send one pic to China and one to Austria. Same way you could print pictures hours apart and place the screenshots one after another.

That's kinda how parallel realities work, u could "print" ur desired reality and bring it to ur next nanosecond.

Just moving ur hand up and down, u are going through thousands, possibly tens of thousands of parallel realities.

What brings your desire closer is focus on it, so affirming and visualizing for example are tools.

But just know, ur desire is one nanosecond close!

I personally first shifted when i affirmed that whatever I visualize becomes my reality in 3 seconds. And it was incredible, I shifted from my mom's studio apartment to a beautiful penthouse in NYC! But I shifted back really fast because I got scared.

I shifted a few times more, but this one was the most incredible!

Anyways be careful with this if you can't control ur mind to not visualize scary things or affirm bad things, but yea you could counteract that with a really good self concept that whatever negativity u affirm or visualize doesn t manifest.

Basically you shift all the time, getting ur desire in time is still shifting, shifting is always the case, we are always shifting through parallel realities. But be careful out there peeps!

[anekename19]

Yk one thing the BSD fandom hasn’t really realized yet is that Suegiku have actually known each other just as, if not LONGER than Soukoku. Seriously. Ik that sounds crazy, but just hear me out:

First of all, we know Jouno joined the Hunting Dogs 6 years ago. That means he’s known Tetchou for at LEAST six years now

Now you may think it’s a little bit of leap to just assume that they knew each other for all those 6 years. After all it’s entirely possible that Tetchou joined after Jouno did, and so the two could’ve only known each other for as little as a year. However, I honestly don’t think that’s the case, and Tetchou did in fact join BEFORE Jouno.

Admittedly, this is just ultimately HC but it makes sense when u think about it. Out of all the Hunting Dogs. Tetchou is easily the MOST committed to justice and his job. He has passion for it almost unlike any of the other members. I think that he (unlike Tachihara, for instance) actually TRAINED and maybe actually applied to become a Hunting Dog the normal way, kinda like how u can apply to become a cop. In other words, based on his very evident dedication, you can tell that this was a career he CHOSE to go into. And considering that career planning requires, well, a PLAN, one that doesn’t necessarily have to take that many years (depending on the career), and the fact that current Tetchou seems like he’s already in his early to mid 20s max (most of the young adult characters in BSD tend to be in that range- Kunikida, Dazai, Ranpo), then 6 years ago (when Jouno joined) he would’ve most likely have almost completed or already completed his training and become a HD member

Ofc, u can argue that his training could’ve taken longer, so he still could’ve joined after than Jouno. But considering the fact that they took in Tachihara when he was like only 15 (I think?) mostly because of his ability, I don’t think the official training and application process actually takes THAT long. Or if does, then you can easily speedrun all that time by having an OP ability, regardless of ur actual age. (They’re kinda like ADA and PM in that sense; age literally does not matter if u have a broken power lol that can make up for that lol) And considering the fact that Tetchou HAS an OP ability and is literally the strongest Hunting Dog, I feel like he would’ve been accepted for the job sooner rather than later. So yeah, he would’ve already been a HD by the time Jouno joined.

But 6 years ago is just when Jouno OFFICIALLY joined the HD. That’s not even mentioning the time it must’ve took to find and arrest him in the first place. So considering Jouno was an executive of an infamous mafia group, I bet it would’ve taken more than just Fukuchi to capture him. Other HD members, like Tetchou and Teruko would’ve most likely been on the mission as well.

Especially because (while this is mostly HC territory again) it rly seems the HD took down, not just Jouno, but most likely his entire mafia group. We never hear any mentions of them in the present and it just doesn’t make sense that a group as ruthless and THOROUGH as the HD would capture Jouno,(someone who can literally hear them coming MILES away and literally disappear into thin air!) but somehow not anyone else in the mafia group. So if they rly did take down everyone, then that definitely would’ve been a job for more than just one person. Meaning Tetchou definitely would’ve been involved in Jouno’s arrest. Which is how they might’ve actually known each other for even longer than those 6 years, depending on how long it took to arrest Jouno. (Btw, SKK have known each other for 7 years)

I think the reason we’ve never actually realized this is because unlike SKK, SGK aren’t freaks that constantly bring up how long they’ve known each other every five minutes

Also, you could argue that SGK understand each other almost as well as SKK, considering Jouno can literally read Techou’s body like a book and that Tetchou is capable of perfectly describing Jouno to an absolute T.

[eelfuneral]

Some of the discussion that happens within the Star Wars fandom, particularly discussion of the Jedi, can be really upsetting to observe if you have certain disabilities. In fact, I’m having a hard time even liking the Jedi right now because I can’t help but associate them with some really ableist takes that I’ve seen in their defense.

Let me explain: a lot of people with certain disabilities (such as autism, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and C-PTSD) deal with something called emotion dysregulation, which means that you feel emotions more intensely than the average person and that this strong emotional state sticks around for far longer than it should. When you have emotional regulation issues, an event that might make somebody else a bit sad or mildly frustrated has the ability to put you out of commission for hours or even an entire day. Emotion dysregulation is very stigmatized, even in people who go out of their way to avoid harming people or lashing out while dealing with an episode. People with this specific issue are often told that they are “dramatic”, “attention seeking”, or “future abusers” for what amounts to an automatic emotional response that a person cannot control. This constant pushback forms a metaphorical blister that can easily be popped back open when you see anything that reminds you of what caused it in the first place.

Now, let’s move on to the Jedi. While it can be argued that their teachings were intended to instruct people to reign in their BEHAVIOR as a result of their emotions, several lines in the fist six movies sound an awful lot like they are condemning having negative emotions at all. Yoda literally tells both Luke and Anakin that emotions like fear and anger BY THEMSELVES are of the Dark Side, and these lines were very difficult for a lot of people who have dealt with trauma, neurodivergence, or other issues that cause “big emotions”. These lines, intentionally or not, mirror a lot of the things that real people have said to those of us dealing with emotion dysregulation, and people have every right to talk about this in their own spaces unmolested.

Some of the defenses of the Jedi in the context of how they are instructed to deal with their emotions come off as dismissive at best and ableist at worst. Yes, if you dig through Star Wars canon enough, you can find portrayals of the Jedi and emotions that point to a more nuanced view where choices and actions are the source of evil rather than the emotions, but this does not change the fact that the Yoda lines and other emotionally repressive applications of the Jedi Code very much exist in parts of canon. A person who found the emotionally repressive variant of Jedi teachings to be upsetting due to a disability will likely feel as though you are trying to dismiss their feelings and belittle them if you “correct” them for “misinterpretation of the Jedi”. I get that it sucks to see people bash your blorbos, but if someone is doing it because they are dealing with something IRL like trauma or ableism, then it’s best not to engage and just let that person work through it.

I have also seen people who are defending the Jedi make statements that outright attack people for having intense emotions. I remember a take that basically said that you were a baby or a psychopath if you found the Jedi code regarding emotions to be “too hard”. I’ve seen people dismiss the trauma that Anakin went through and its possible effect on how he reacted to some aspects of the Jedi order in a way that mirrors the invalidation that those of us with emotional regulation issues have experienced for being “too much” for all of our lives. Yes, it is important to avoid harming others when you are in a bad place, and no Anakin was not a great person, but so many of these takes are devoid enough of nuance that they read as if they are just trashing people who have “too many”emotions.

Feel free to defend your favorite characters all that you would like, but please spare a thought for those of us who might not dig everything about them for reasons connected to disability and trauma. The Jedi aren’t real, but we very much are.