#all india bakchod

[amitshridhar]

AIB : Rape - It's Your Fault

All India Bakchod @allindiabakchod

27/10/2024, sunday 27 october 2024, 07:56 p.m, indore, madhya pradesh, india.

[0samjha]

[my-window-reflection]

i was kinda iffy on him til this interview

[abbie-a-aaronson]

Context: A qawwali showdown between two young women, each with her respective girl posse. One team is dressed in white, the other in blue.

Team White Singer: When this Professor Zuckerberg invented Facebook...

Team White Member: Goodbye, Orkut!

Team White Singer: ...there was one thing he forgot to mention: That every inbox has, not one, but two folders, In one, there will be messages from friends, and, in the other folder, there will be creeps.

Team Blue: Oh, my! What can I say?

Team White Singer: I looked at the other folder, couldn’t believe my eyes! 50 whole messages from all the pervert guys! I opened the first message, It was a revelation: “hey thr u lukn gr8”

Team White: 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 - exclamation!

Team White Singer: Hey, naive child!

Team White: Hey, naive child!

Team White Singer: Who the hell are you?

Team White: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

Team White Member: Come on, hang on, he’s typing.

The Creep: “oh beb ur relly kewt.. come on over here to handsum..8) 8)”

Team White: ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO (x4)

Team White Singer: Oh, after reading my other folder, it occurred to me...

Team White: After reading my other folder, it occurred to me: On the Internet! Oh, on the Internet! There are no shortage of wannabe lovers! No creep is creepier than my creep! (x3)

Team Blue Singer: Actually, your creep isn’t even a legit creep. For my wedding he is someone my mom would like to meet!

Team White Member: Oh, what a burn!

Team Blue Member: Burned, by God!

Team Blue Singer: I came home in the evening after a long day at work

Team White: Really?

Team Blue Singer: Below my building, stood this jerk

Team White: Hm?

Team Blue Singer: The next day, he was there, pretending to be a security guard!

Team White: What?!

Team Blue Singer: He was there, pretending to be an elevator operator!

Team White: No!

Team Blue Singer: Morning, evening, night, he was there!

Team White: No way!

Team Blue Singer: The other day, he brought a pizza, Said something really shady (sketchy)

Team Blue: Really shady, really shady, what he said was really shady!

Team Blue Singer: I deliver your pizza!

Team Blue: Will you deliver my baby? Will you deliver my baby?

Team Blue Singer: Oh, your creep, he’s only on Facebook, I can bet you my creep is hidden somewhere right here!

Team Blue: In my neighborhood, (x2) There is no shortage of wannabe lovers! No creep is creepier than my creep! (x3)

Team White Singer: Oh, there is no creep creepier than my creep! Team Blue Singer: There is no creep creepier than my creep! Team White Singer: My creep cut his wrist! Team Blue Singer: My creep cut his arm! Team White Singer: Mine's distributing our wedding cards! Team Blue Singer: Mine’s named our children! Team White Singer: My creep sent me his pic on WhatsApp! Team Blue Singer: My creep sent me his dick pic on WhatsApp! Team White Singer: Mine always tags me in his photos. Team Blue Singer: Mine always tags me in his photos, too. Team White Singer: In mine’s profile picture are expensive cars. Team Blue Singer: In mine’s profile picture are expensive cars, too. Team White Singer: My creep lovingly calls me “nightingale”... Team Blue Singer: My creep lovingly calls me “nightingale”, too... Team White Singer: Does your creep’s name start with an “S”? Team Blue Singer: Does your creep’s surname start with a “K”? Team White Singer: Suresh? Team Blue Singer: Kumar?

Everyone: In this world! In this world! In this world, there is no shortage of wannabe lovers! No creep is creepier than our creep! (x5)

[bharatsguide]

Bollywood’s Bullying Is Killing Indian YouTube Parody Creators Last February, Salil Jamdar's phone pinged with an unexpected email from YouTube. The Indian record label giant T-Series — which accounts for over a third of the music market — had issued a copyright claim against one of Jamdar's videos.

[musesofmaya]

GUYS YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH THIS. IM DYING. THEY NAILED IT. 

[dailybollywoodkings]

 Alia Bhatt - Genius of the Year

[naheemc]

Liked on YouTube: AIB : Dank Irrfan https://youtu.be/A3qoXx1zSaw

[neens28]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc-ya4x1y8c)

Really tho

[earningbournvilles]

yay on air with aib is back!

[lupilupinchen]

Oh my gosh 😂😂

[abeyyaaar]

Jhagda jhadgi mat karo… Milind Soman ko yaad karo!!💦👅👄😂

[abbie-a-aaronson]

Translation provided by Heina of WHtM. Thank you!

Context: A qawwali showdown between two women arrayed in traditional attire, one in a white-skirted outfit and one in a mint-skirted one, each with her respective posse.

White Skirt: *vocalization in traditional qawwali style* Master [term of respect for expert teachers] Zuckerberg, when he invented Facebook...

Team White Skirt's Drummer: Goodbye, Orkut!

White Skirt: ...there was one thing he forgot to mention. Every inbox has not one, but two folders, In one, there will be messages from friends, And in the other folder there will be creeps.

Team Mint Skirt: What's the word?

White Skirt: I looked at the other folder, couldn't believe my eyes! 50 whole messages from all the pervert guys! I opened the first message, It was a revelation: *reading creep's message* "hey thr u lukn gr8"

Team White Skirt: 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 exclamation!

White Skirt: Hey, naive child!

Team White Skirt: Hey, naive child!

White Skirt: Who the hell are you?

Team White Skirt: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

Team White Skirt's Drummer: Come on, hang on, he's typing.

Creep: "oh beb ur relly kewt.. come on over here to handsum..8) 8)"

Team White Skirt: ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO! ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO! ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO! ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO!

White Skirt: Oh, after reading my other folder, it occurred to me...

Team White Skirt: After reading my other folder, it occurred to me!

White Skirt: On the Internet, Oh! On the Internet, There are no shortage of [wannabe] lovers!

Team White Skirt: There is no creep creepier than my creep! There is no creep creepier than my creep! There is no creep creepier than my creep!

Mint Skirt: *vocalization in traditional qawwali style bleeds into first word* Actually your creep isn't even a legit creep. For my wedding he is someone my mom would like to meet! [i.e. he is prospective suitor vetted by parents]

Team White Skirt: Oooh, what a burn! [i.e. we've been pwned] They've burnt us, by God!

Mint Skirt: I came home in the evening after a long day at work,

Team White Skirt: Oh really? [i.e. please continue]

Mint Skirt: When below my building stood that jerk!

Team White Skirt: Hm? [i.e. is that right?]

Mint Skirt: The next day, he was there! He was there, pretending to be a watchman! [security guard]

Team White Skirt: What?

Mint Skirt: He was there, pretending to be a liftman! [elevator operator]

Team White Skirt: No!

Mint Skirt: Morning, evening, night, he was there!

Team White Skirt: Haww! [no way]

Mint Skirt: The other day, he brought a pizza, Said something really shady... [sketchy]

Team Mint Skirt: Really shady, really shady, what he said was really shady! *continue chanting "really shady" in the background*

Mint Skirt: ...I deliver your pizza - will you deliver my baby?

Team Mint Skirt: Will you deliver my baby?

Mint Skirt: Oh, your creep is on Facebook and nowhere else, I can bet you my creep is hidden somewhere right here! In my neighborhood, In my neighborhood, There is no shortage of [wannabe] lovers!

Team Mint Skirt: There is no creep creepier than my creep! There is no creep creepier than my creep! There is no creep creepier than my creep!

White Skirt: Oh, there is no creep creepier than my creep!

Mint Skirt: There is no creep creepier than my creep!

White Skirt: My creep has cut off the nerves in his hand!

Mint Skirt: My creep has destroyed his arm!

White Skirt: He made our wedding cards!

Mint Skirt: He has named our children!

White Skirt: My creep sent me his pic on WhatsApp!

Mint Skirt: My creep sent me his dick-pic on WhatsApp!

White Skirt: He tags me in his photos!

Mint Skirt: He also tags me in his photos!

White Skirt: His profile pic is an expensive car!

Mint Skirt: His profile pic is also an expensive car!

White Skirt: My creep lovingly calls me "bulbul"! [i.e. "sexy" or "honey", literally "nightingale"]

Mint Skirt: My creep also lovingly calls me "bulbul"! [i.e. "sexy" or "honey", literally "nightingale"]

White Skirt: Does your creep's name start with an "S"?

Mint Skirt: Does your creep's surname start with a "K"?

White Skirt: Suresh?

Mint Skirt: Kumar?

*girls realize they've been harassed by the same creep*

Everyone: In this world! In this world! In this world there is no shortage of [wannabe] lovers! There is no creep creepier than our creep! [x5]

[indian-vids-blog]

#AllIndiaBakchod : Harassment Through The Ages - #RichaChadha #VickyKaushal #MallikaDua - @AllIndiaBakchod

AIB takes an honest look at How Bollywood has enabled harassment over the years.

More All India Bakchod

[aiyyogod]

A Christmas Class- AIB First Draft

Dec 25 9:30am: Christmas morning- a crowd of 40 assembled at the swanky office of OML-AIB in an otherwise ragtag corner of an ancient mill at Lower Parel. The objective of the assembly was to learn the basic fundamentals of Screenwriting. At 10 am sharp, the course director- Satyanshu Sinha adorned in a Parisian beret stepped inside the office (Classroom), made certain enquiries with Rigved (AIB staff) and by 10:04 the participants were writing their 1st assignment of the day. (A plot for a film in 100 words)

10:14 am: Satyanshu Sinha (Prof.) apprised the crowd of 40 aspirant screenwriters of Fundamental Number 1- You Write!! Writers, he complained are a lazy tribe. They look for an inspiration that is as good as a mirage. Writing is like masonry- daily labor- involves struggle, hard-work, low rewards and involves utmost responsibility.

It is a craft that requires constant practice akin to that of a professional musician/ classical singer/ cricketer in a bid to pursue technical perfection.

Technical Aspects

Screenwriting to the laymen is perceived as an extension of writing a book/ novel/ play/ copywriting. However the technical aspects of the medium varies to a great extent. It has a predetermined guideline with respect to the format, font size and font.  The temporal reception (pertaining to time) of a Play varies to that of a book to that of a motion picture.  And since the financial aspects of the play are greater than that of a play or a book- 1 has to consider economy in this form of narrative.

As he was going in details of the craft, 1 could make out Prof. is both a brilliant student of filmmaking and a teacher. The illustrations he would provide to corroborate the lessons would not only make the point but also keep the class amused. A good teacher is also how he rewards his students. Every display of brilliance- either reply or enquiry would not go unrewarded- Rs 5, 5 Star bar but one that had to be earned.

The class primarily focused on 1 area of screenwriting- Ideation.

The purpose of the class was to come up with an idea for a motion picture that 5 decades from now in a distant remote corner of the world, your idea would resonate with its viewer- A Timeless Classic.

Apparently all timeless classics have 6 common features. An idea that seemed preposterous at first but for the stretch of 7 hours was discussed at length. They drew upon the essentials of a character, hurdles in his/ their journey, completeness in the resolution of the film, the Setting and Milieu, the importance of Action over Speech and Thought and The Protagonist and their variance.

There was also a brief session over episodic writing and its core differences with that of screen writing.

Satyanshu is a live wire.  The ease with which he would tell the dialogues from Lagaan or reciteGhalib’s poetry or sing a line or two to make a point kept the class hooked right till the end.

Another interesting aspect of the class was the class itself. It comprised of a fair mix of engineers, lawyer, banker, industry researcher, businessmen, students, copywriters, stand up comedian, an actor amongst others from Mumbai and its far fetched suburbs, Delhi, Jalandhar, Pune, Kolkataetc sacrificing a Sunday- Christmas sharing their ideas with one another and to learn how to write a story that would resonate with its viewer 5 decades from now.