#all i've seen people talk about is we're super respectful and incredible

[zouisexo]

.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[lokavisi]

I've been getting big in my thoughts and feels lately about something, and as I started typing I realized this isn't the first time this has happened.

I've seen a bunch of posts lately about taking deities Super Cereal™️ and that people talking about their deities like friends is somehow disrespectful? Like, Deity are so ancient and scary and acting like they're your magical BFFs is wrong. Why are we feeling angst around this? I think there's a few different things going on here that should be addressed.

First of all, not everyone relates to deity in the same way. Grow up and respect that. Just because the idea of "hanging out with Odin" or whatever the hell sounds like they aren't taking Odin "seriously" in your eyes, doesn't mean that person doesn't have respect for or have an understanding of who Odin is. Yes, Odin's been around for fucking millennia and wields some ancient, primal sort of magic that we as humans could not being to understand or experience. But you know what we can experience? Mead. Storytelling. Learning new things. I don't see why the one who slayed a giant to create our realm can't also be interested in discussing the popular literature we're reading over a beverage of choice. Who are you to say how deity like to spend their time with us? They know what they want from who. If you're their devout monk instead of their BFF, great. Who cares? As long as you know who it is you're working with, why does it matter? Just as we are complex beings with many facets to our personalities and life, so are deities. There is more to them than whatever monolithic power you ascribe to them.

On that note: everyone, on both ends of the spectrum, make sure you know who you're dealing with. Learn as much as you can about the common signs and language people seem to share with the deity you're looking to connect with, and learn to recognize signs of imposters or other potentially adjacent beings that it might be reaching out to you instead. I know I'm not an expert and I've made mistakes, but I feel like a lot of deities are more likely to be ok with meeting us half way, so to speak. If you're both serious about connecting with one another, you'll do that in whatever way works for you whether that looks like a more human-like friendship or a more ascetic form of dedication. Certain deities might have tendencies that lean further one way than the other (just as we humans might), but that doesn't mean there isn't more or less respect for the deity based on the nature of your relationship with them.

I feel like we also need to recognize, and this kind of relates back to my first point, that what the nature of deity and humanity actually are is something that we might not all agree on either. And that is ok! If you think deity are so untouchable that we should enforce some great divide between our two beings, great! If you think deity are really personable and live among us like other people with bonus spiritual abilities/incorporealness, great! Both are incredibly valid! We need to stop acting like anything in regards to religion or spiritual practice is absolute. I know there are people that connect with Loki that do not practice their path in a way that looks like mine or that I even agree with, but that doesn't mean either of our respective practices and ways of relating to Loki are any more or less valid than the other. It means we have different understandings of Loki and probably different lifestyles or religious backgrounds/worldviews. It is what it is. We all like to be Big and Right™️ all the time, but what does that really do for us at the end of the day? As long as we aren't using deity as an excuse to harm ourselves or others, what does it matter?

Personally, I like the pets analogy/metaphor my friend uses, and the more I flesh it out, the more I agree with it. They posit that we are to deity what our pets are to us. Think about it. We are not required in any way to house and care for animals of any kind for any reason. Why do we do it? Companionship. Affection. Routine (i.e., pet care). Interest in animals. Whatever our reasons, when we have a pet, we do everything we can to care for it because we love the damn thing. We might need to train it, scold it from time to time for peeing or shitting on something they shouldn't, but that doesn't mean there isn't love or care there. And that's what I think Deities do for us. They don't have to care about us. Not all of them care for every one of us humans, certainly. But when they do, they have their reasons. We can certainly shit the bed from time to time (figuratively, or literally depending on your age or life experience), and they can be harsh in their lessons and messages, but that does not mean they don't care. They potty train us and keep on loving us because we love them. We do things for each other that bring us joy in some way. We talk to our pets, they talk to us. We don't always understand each other or share the same agendas, but we still go through life together. Think about how we consider pets to be members of our family. We love those little critters. Might deities feel similarly about you? I don't see why they couldn't. You see what I'm saying? We're not equals, no, but that does not mean our connections aren't real and genuine and friendly and full of love. And them being friendly does not mean they aren't respectful.

Anyway, I'm gonna have a movie night and watch old monster movies with Loki and their Jotun family. Because giant wolves and snakes can have opinions on old school Universal horror films as much as they can keep our world from ending. Imagine that.

[gracethefoundfamilyfan]

ok ok ok i gotta rant a little bit

idk if im ace or aro or not and im cool w not knowing cuz i barely know anything about myself atm i just starting forming my own personality actively like a year and a half ago

BUT

i always assumed i would end up without a bf, out of all of my friends, bc my goals in a hypothetical relationship are to be best friends and borderline soulmates before even BREACHING the topic of romance. this is made easier by the fact that i have literally NEVER felt physical attraction towards anyone, and i'm a young adult, ok? everyone i know except for my aro friends have been in at least one relationship. not to say guys haven't tried!!! i've had two or three people ask me out, and i loved all of them-- just not in that way. my faith calls me to love all people unconditionally and deeply, to value and treasure them as a reflection of perfection and a deep, vast universe of experiences greater than i can begin to comprehend, and so, yes, i love people. my friends and i are very physically affectionate, and our conversations are deep and meaningful, and we show up for each other and care for each other and i think we love each other well. i try to extend that love to everyone i meet, no matter who they are. I love everyone, and i invite everyone to show love back! but not romance. i've never experienced that.

but lately something has felt different with this one specific guy. we've known each other for about seven years thru church. he's a year older than me, but he's so mature it feels like we live on different planets-- until this year, when we both applied to be summer interns at our church and got accepted. suddenly me and Mysterious Quiet Man are spending 30+ hours a week working side by side managing events, remodeling the children's room, leading projects, cooking meals, cleaning out closets-- and you know what? i'm so intimidated by this quiet stoic guy that I literally don't talk to him unless i have to. we work in companiable silence unless it's absolutely necessary for us to talk, because he's an introvert and idk how to do life. still, being in the same space teaches me a bit about him. He doesn't know as much as I think he does, it's just that he's so quiet I always assume he knows what's going on. He actually is capable of making mistakes-- he misspelled the name of the church on a pdf he sent for 50+ signs and had to fix it-- and he's really self-conscious about his art. we have a few artists in common when it comes to music taste. etc.

and then. AND FREAKING THEN. we go to church camp. Our one week off the whole summer, and we're both so in need of release that we turn into complete freaking idiots. AND! AND! WE ACTUALLY START TALKING!

he likes really deep, complex mystery books. he's terrified of graduating. he feels like he's leaving his life behind. he's going into trade school to be an electrician. he plays d&d. he thinks i'm an okay drummer. he loves swimming. his cousin drives him crazy but he would take a bullet for her, and if i tell her that i'm screwed. he does INCREDIBLE Renaissance fair costumes. his whole family is into music and he's grateful that he has people to teach him stuff. he's the most Band Kid in existence. he's super into coffee but hates how caffeine feels. Little people scare him. He loves hiking. He wishes he was more athletic, like his dad. he wants to write a book, but he doesn't know what yet. he's a good leader when he has to be. He hates raising his voice.

And he thinks I'm funny.

HE THINKS I'M FUNNY. In a dorky, kinda awkward way, sure, but good LORD I made him smile more than I've ever seen him smile at that camp (especially when he scared me and i did a full on backwards roll into my sister, that was fun), and I'm so freaking proud of myself for that.

still, all of this is normal for me! I love discovering new things about people! My respect and genuine appreciation for human beings grow when I begin to understand them, wow, that's how that works! That means nothing!

and then we lead the last four weeks of August Sunday school, and he helps me with my message when it feels like it's falling apart, and he gives me a little (awful) pep talk when I feel like I screwed up. He says I work better with kids than he ever could. I tell him you just have to treat them like really new adults. He crushes his next lesson.

and then we teach a bunch of kids science for a week. He helps me keep them in check, I help him not get too stressed over the details. the lady running the camp asks us to put together a crime scene for the kids to solve at the end of the week, with us as the culprits. we sign our names on secret plans, tear them up, scatter them around. we make it obvious that we leave right before the time of the crime so they'll suspect us. when he leaves, i make sure they notice, 'cause he's not quite loud enough. we scatter cookie crumbs around our chairs. we have not-so-quiet little conversations about the morality of stealing cookies with the other kids. We let the director chew us out for disappearing, and he asks if i'm ok when her Oscar-worthy performance actually scares me a little bit. the kids drag all the suspects into the hot seats. they examine our hands. a jury forms, and a police team-- i freaking love these kids, if i haven't made that clear, they're little geniuses when you actually let them use their imaginations. We get questioned. Our handwriting gets examined. So do our fingerprints. Then (my favorite part) we improv a whole story about how we're innocent, throwing shade at my sister and her stuffed sheep. Then we twist it on the director, bc she's the only one with access to the kitchen (not true btw). The kids see thru our lies, bc half of them have parents who've worked here to feed the homeless or make breakfast on Mother's Day or whatever. He yells at people. I yell at my sister. We put on a freaking awesome performance, and my energy bounces off of his-- we make a great team, and I haven't seen him this energetic ever. My sister makes a stupid joke, and he's so caught up in it that he laughs so hard he ends up on the floor. I buzz about that for the next hour.

Then, he gets incriminated. Playing my part, I pull the Among Us move and try to get him in the spotlight so I get voted innocent. They're about to take him away.

And then he grabs me by the shoulders, heaves me up, forces me in front of him, and says "IF I'M GETTING CAUGHT, SHE'S GOING DOWN WITH ME!" We get darn near tackles by a swarm of kids who are totally in-character-- one of them has even got the waterworks going, and he looks at me and says 'I trusted you, mom!'. I give my tearful apology, and then I wrench myself free (he never let go, that's kinda weird) and declare: "OKAY, FINE, YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE DID? DANIEL, YOU GAVE US AWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM"

cue four minutes of what my friend called 'old married couple arguing' over whose fault it was.

and then we reveal the ice cream sandwiches we supposedly made with the cookies we supposedly stole, and all of a sudden we're forgiven.

best afternoon ever spent.

slight caveat.

forty kids now ship me and him. one of them makes a little heart with our initials on it. he sees it. i don't get to see his reaction bc my sister almost drops a whole gatorade cooler worth of lemonade and i have to run over to help her.

and then, the internship is over. we don't see each other for another month. when we do, he's an adult staffer, and i'm still just an assistant. but he sticks around the youth stuff, since we don't have anyone who can play the lower bells on the youth handbell choir. i get a new little Padawan to teach in the ancient technique of making metal things go clang. I'm also lined up in the perfect way that I can see his eyes light up every single time we get a complicated polyrhythm right or finally manage to hit a key change without sounding like a horror film just started. i also get to see him bounce when our director tells him he can chaperone on our trip to the bell fest if he wants.

bell fest gets cancelled. the director gets us permission to use the church and host our own. guy in question is the first one to get there and the last one to leave, and i'm second. old internship habits die hard. or maybe we just care too much.

"It's not quite the same," he says when I ask, "but it's still really nice."

i think he thinks it's about the people, just like I do.

That's also when I notice we both have a little brown freckle in our eyes. His are ice blue, though, and they've got little patterns in them. I was only looking to make sure he was telling the truth.

we host a local mission trip, and i get to see him chase the goof of the group around trying to get his weedwhacker back. two nights later, I'm trying to get said goof off my drum set ten minutes before a performance so we can do our final soundcheck and Guy stares him right off the stage, and then gets all of us waters and me a pad so my stupid kick will stop sliding around. I hadn't even thought to ask.

now it's two months later, and our church is fracturing. we've gone a year and a few months without a pastor, and people are getting tired of it. Everyone's doing a little more than they can handle trying to fill the wake our old (retired) pastor left behind. there's spiritual warfare. the guy the pastor search committee brought in tried to convince us half of our Bible was fake. people are getting hit right in their weak spots, and people are scared, and everyone's getting hurt and tired and there's talk of giving up.

we hold a conference to air out our feelings. anything can be said. on mic. and it won't be held against us. we need to get messy, get empty, hug it out, and start fresh with all this petty crap behind us. we listen to person after person air out their fears, frustrations, angers, hurts, etc, and towards the end I get up and take the mic.

"I wasn't gonna say anything." I say. "I don't even technically belong here, because I'm not a member. I have no business telling anyone anything. But I think I have to say this. I know life sucks, and everything about our situation sucks, but you know what? I'm so proud of all of you. Most of the churches I know would've fallen apart by now. I've seen it happen. What you have here, this commitment, this vulnerability-- it's special. It's real. It's what God commands us to strive for, and it's something the world desperately needs more of. So please, don't stop. I know it sucks. But for the love of God, please keep fighting for each other, because none of us can afford to lose another family."

i sit down. my sister wouldn't come. she said it's not worth it. she thinks people hate her. she still (as of me writing this) won't tell me why.

after it's over, we sing. we sing of God's unending grace and mercy and we sing of trust and new beginnings and we pray for strength and unity and love that not even human hearts can create. and in the shadows of the dimly lit chapel, i think i see it. people of all ages and races, mostly in pajamas, a few unlucky ones still in their work clothes, hugging and talking and praying over one another when hours ago there had been coldness and anger. i walk over to his cousin, who spoke after me and begged the people to fight for us, so that we could have a place like this to go to when we have nowhere else to go. i think they listened to her. she really can't lose more family. I hug her. She's crying. I hug her aunt. She's crying too. Guy comes up. He thanks me for saying what I said. "I was disappointed, before," he says, "but now I can see what you mean. I wish I'd gone up too. You're right. We need to fight for this."

"What would you have said?" I ask. "If you'd gone up."

He says he had ideas, perfect speeches that would open eyes and turn hearts. He says that's not the way the world works, though, and he didn't feel like he had anything to add.

"I think it would've been great." I say. "Even if it's not perfect, it's still worth saying."

then the director comes over. He's gotten the short end of the Responsibility stick, and apparently what me and Cousin said got to him, because he hugs both of us and thanks us for telling him that the community he's given his life to is actually helping people. then he hugs Guy, too, and Guy hugs him back tight and scrunches his eyes closed, like he's holding on just in case he doesn't get another chance. and here he said he wasn't a hugger.

then we all go get dinner, and i see him laughing with his mom. there's a softness to him, and a light in his eyes that i rarely get to see. i'm almost jealous, that that wonderful side of him only really comes out with her.

it's been a couple weeks, and i still can't get that image of him out of my head. it's weird. part of me thinks i'm really into cracking people and getting to see who they are on the inside and why they do what they do and who they are, and I totally am, but usually that goes away after a couple weeks. it's been six months. maybe it's just because there's still so much i don't know about him? maybe because he's a music guy and i'm a music girl and i desperately need more friends who share that part of themselves with me? maybe it's because we've known each other for seven years but i'm about to leave for college and i'm desperate not to waste any more time? Maybe our souls just click.

point is, i have no freaking idea what romance is supposed to feel like and i love everyone a little too easily and i don't have physical attraction sensors so i can't tell if i'm really into him as a person or as a potential partner but it doesn't freaking matter because i'm leaving in like seven months anyways and i'm going to be hours away and I am not getting into a relationship right now. period.

BUT IM STILL UP AT TWO AM TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT SO SEND HELP

[pushingdaisies1]

Oh totally every PC character is dope.

For C1 I'd have to say Vex/Vax i love both of them incredibly much and i relate to them a lot on different levels. As an example i lost my mom early not in a death type of way but in the way that she isn't even trying to accept who i am by using my dead name and the wrong Pronounce.

For C2 it's Mollymauk just the minute he was introduced i connected with him because he's so incredibly eccentric and different. I've been named the "weird" kid for basically all my life so having a character that embodies that made me feel so good. After Molly died i was absolutely distraught and Kinda started to cling onto Caduceus. I also absolutely adore Veth thought because well after her True form is revealed to be on the chubby side it made me happy. I've always been immensely struggling with my body image due to different things so seeing that and the general body positivity in her character just warms my heart.

For C3 it's Ashton and Orym Ashton because as a Non-binary 19 year old who uses Neo Pronounce in a city which does not accept LGBTQ+ and a family which doesn't want to understand it, seeing a character use those pronouns made me feel so valid i also connect to him in a different way though.

Rehehe yah!! Ohhhh icicicicic, im really sorry about your mom not giving you the respect you deserve. Thats just uncalled for , but other than that I totally see what you mean<3 - out of the twins id probably relate most to Vex, both due to her personality and her connection with her brother Vax. Me and my sisters have a similar bond (being like hand and hand chaos gremlins) and we're just in general pretty close, which is where I also relate to Vax cause I think I'm just like a general protector type of person lol. SAME SAME SAMEEE!! To be fr... Mollmauk was the reason I realized I wasn't cis LOL. Hes always been very close to my heart as well haha , I always found his story super sweet. In general he was always a truly charming character , forever a bbg in my heart haha. Caduceus dudeee!! I love him so muchhhh!!! When he was talking to Fjord and said (this is my memory) "I don't really talk with people but I talk to people and I know people" During the episode after the whole blown up stuff in Nicodranas?? Shit hit super close to him , as well as he's just so awesome and fluffy and genuinely a true awesome character lol. I also get what you mean about Veth!! Her true form transformation reveal made me giggle and kick my feel back and fourth. Im also more on the chubby side as well as having some bad self-image issues , which made me gravitate towards Veths character more. She embraces herself and her identity/past sm it makes me feel so welcomed yk?? I totally understand where you come from when talking about Ashton and Orym. Your family should accept you dude, and it's on them for missing out on the amazing person you are<3 I definitely also gravitated toward Ashton cause of the fact I both use He/they pronouns and Im agender. Their very much like "fuck everyone and everyone else's opinion on me and myself" which just makes me feel really seen you know? I love watching them rage out and be the sickest punk rock rock out there lol. Personally I relate to orym cause Im used to being like the mediator/voice of reason in a lot of things you know? Like I try to make sure everyone's okay , doing fine , or always try to boost moods one way or another.

[chocolatecakecas]

I think it’s super problematic that everyone is equating what Jensen said to being sexually attracted to a child and using emotively challenging language to sensationalise that. Our headcanon is that Jack is four, and it’s technically canon on the show but AlCal is 31 years old, and Jensen knows him on a professional and personal level as a 31 year old man. I think he was just responding in the moment to that. I’m not saying it’s okay what he’s said, but people coming for him for talking about a child in that way and also “his” child is just plain wrong. In the past Jensen has been incredibly respectful of women and that’s all we know of him. He’s a Texan man, likely he does have some sexist views… It’s all about context and I feel people are really beginning to take this too far and out of context because understandably their feelings are hurt. We don’t have to condone behaviour to understand it. There’s such a massive lack of understanding right now and it’s painful to see. Fair enough he’s a white Hollywood male who doesn’t need defending but also he’s a human being and what people are saying about him is damaging especially regarding the child shit. Fine drag him for being sexist (rightly so) but leave the child shit out of it. He just got angry in his own panel about people getting excited about him saying JJ and Arrow love them some daddy. Like everything he says is turned sexual anyways. Our lenses and biases play into our interpretation and sometimes we need to step back because we can be too close to something. Who knows what he even intended to mean with his throwaway comment. We’re not in his head and the backlash and vitriol and aggression may mean we never know what he meant or get an apology. When you fight someone in the way the fandom has dragged Jensen (who is known to be quiet, shy and private) they will just shut down and back off and there will never be growth. There are ways to handle ruptures (with compassion, care and curiosity) to actually repair what’s happened vs making sure the rupture stays (with anger and aggression). We will miss out on opportunities to hear him speak because he will be afraid to speak out for fear of saying something wrong. That’s not okay. If we want things to change then we have to create a safe, open, brave space where people can say what they need (and be gently called out on things they do wrong) so they learn and WANT to continue to talk about things and learn from us.

okay so i wasnt going to answer this but i have slept so yk what. lets go for it.

1) its not my job, or ANY of our jobs to create a safe space for a grown adult man to make homophobic and or wildly inappropriate or just blatantly offensive comments so we can "gently" correct him. Its not our job to "teach" him, hes a forty three year old grown man. And if he's going to share these harmful words anyway....then why would i want to create a space where he can feel even more comfortable saying these things???

2) Do not tell me I "don't understand". I've been in this fandom for 10 years, since i was 11 years old. I've watched countless homophobic comments come out of jensen's mouth in real time for years. Ive seen the backlash in real time. I've seen the I've received the anons telling me i was a pervert and disgusting and pathetic and i should die for shipping destiel or saying dean was bi. And a lot of other people have to.

im allowed to be angry. we are all allowed to be angry about what transpired yesterday, and what has been said/done for years. Im allowed to be angry for him being blatantly homophobic about bi dean all those years ago, and the way the other side of the fandom supported him in that opinion and the disgusting hate/replies/comments/anons that stemmed from it. I'm allowed to be angry with jensen for multiple reasons whether its him consciously choosing to direct a racist copaganda show or for his years of homophobic comments, his years of sexist comments. We are all allowed to be angry. We're allowed to be hurt. And we're allowed to talk about it however the hell we want. He's rich. He's forty three years old. He's married. He has three kids. He's a grown adult man. He should know better. And you claim its "damaging" to him????? What about the damage his words/actions caused hundreds of queer teenagers in this fandom???

3) nothing i said was taken out of context. nothing i said was swayed by "my lense" or "my biases". I listened to the broadcast in real time. I watched the video of it once it was posted after. I saw the expression, the body language, hear the tone of voice and the laugh. There is simply no other "interpretation". It doesnt matter if it was "throwaway comment". He still said it. And that is exactly how he meant it.

4) jack is canonically three years old at the end of the show. they constantly reference and mention his age. in his second episode he says he is "one day old". This is not a "fandom headcanon". Its canonical fact.

5) jensen said "dean would", not "jensen would". Alex's age does not matter, because the question was not about Alex, and Jensen was not talking about Alex. The question was about Jack, and Jensen said "Jack". It's really that simple.

So please don't come into my askbox(or anyone else's for that matter) and tell me, how i should feel, and how i should handle it to spare jensen ackles' feelings. Don't tell me to be "compassionate", because he's "learning", he isn't a small child. He's a grown man. And don't tell me to "create a safe space" for him, when he's never fucking created one for us. Because all he's done is help encourage an environment where we have spent years, terrified to ask anything about destiel, or bi dean, for fear of exactly what happened yesterday. And at the end of the day, its not actually about the characters, or the ship, or the show, its so much fucking more than that and by this point that should be obvious.

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

i've been slowly and methodically making my way through all of your fics (it wouldn't be right if i didn't. you're carrying the rachel and dick tag on your BACK). and for a while i thought the first in the purification series was my all time favourite (body failing, a mindfight, its all i ever wanted)

but last night. at 1am, i started wicked game, and it took me SIX HOURS to finish it. and that i did. 7 in the fucking morning and i am at a loss for words. it's brilliant. it's got all the things i like- ballet, trauma, core four. i genuinely cannot applaud you enough.

i was wondering how you felt about people (with credit, of course), taking inspiration from your fics, writing sequels or missing scenes and such? of course, i know that a lot of people really don't like that kind of stuff, so it's absolutely alright if you don't. it was just a thought i had.

basically, long story short, i've had your ao3 notifications on for months. i wake up to an email and i fucking sprint. it's incredible. thank you

Listen, in times when I'm struggling for inspiration because I haven't seen any new Dick and Rachel scenes in so long, messages like this are literally a blessing sent from heaven.

First of all, I teared up reading this, THANK YOU. It's so good to know there are people out there, people like me who absolutely cannot live without this father-daughter duo. Many times, especially in recent months, I was struggling with writing about them because I felt like I was talking to a wall - everybody is so focused on Dickkory (a ship I love with my whole heart but it's not my main focus) that I'm just sitting here in my little corner, hoping someone stops by, you know? So for you to come in and say "I got notifications on you for months, you post, I sprint" means the absolute world to me. I want to give you the biggest hug. It really built me up after feeling down for so long.

Now. Wicked Game - an experience of a lifetime I get to share with my super talented bestie @wonderbatwayne and I could have never done this without her, so I can't take all the credit. I just had a tiny idea and she helped me shape it into something beautiful. I've grown as a writer because of her and learned a whole lot. I will never forget it. In case you haven't checked them out yet (but I have a feeling you did), she has some amazing Dick&Rach stories in her arsenal as well, things I am religiously rereading over and over. "Raise a Little Hell", "Fear Makes Companions Of Us All" or "All Doors Lead to Home" are some of my absolute favorites!

Fun WG fact: just last week I got a tattoo in honor of this story - Let's see if we can fly on my arm.

Also, I have to acknowledge this because you blew my mind. Over 260k words and you finished it all in ONE NIGHT?!? Mad respect for you, that's dedication!!!!

I have nothing against people taking inspiration from my fics, especially this one and I'm sure my friend doesn't mind either when it comes to WG. We're planning an official sequel, got some ideas thrown together but it's currently sitting on a shelf as we both got other things going on and we're taking it slow this time. And I think this is you subtly trying to ask for permission to get creative with it and let me tell you: you have it. It would be the greatest honor to see what you (and possibly, hopefully others) can do with what I created, how can you take it further.

You say I'm carrying Dick & Rachel tag on my back but I wouldn't be able to do this without you and everyone who reads my fics. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means everything. With season 4 just around the corner and a really strong possibility of getting some beautiful, amazing moments from these two I'm sure the inspiration will come. And if you ever want to scream about these moments with someone and spread the love, just slide into the chat so we can scream together!!!!

[jinxxedmisery]

H!

I'm back from the dead!

And I have things to talk about 🤭

Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!

I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.

Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and

AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.

Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.

Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.

But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest

Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.

I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.

Seriously...

Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...

I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore

My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!

And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend

I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!

Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...

He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys

One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...

and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.

My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)

It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..

But damn.....

This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...

And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Sophia Di Martino was launched into the pop cultural consciousness thanks to her role as Sylvie – AKA the Loki variant on Marvel Disney Plus series Loki, where she trades barbs and shares background stories with Tom Hiddleston's God of Mischief.

Episode Three of the series found Loki on a wild adventure with Sylvie, after he accidentally sent them both to the doomed moon Lamentis-1, on a collision course with a planet. Facing an apocalypse, the pair hatches a plan to find the escape vessel that some of the moon's wealthier residents are hoping will carry them to safety and, while on the train to the ship, they discuss everything from the nature of love to their respective magical abilities.

When the opportunity arose to talk to her, we naturally jumped at it, so here is part of Chris Hewitt's conversation with Di Martino, who was frank and funny while chatting about getting the job, Loki's sexuality and more.

The last two weeks in particular must have been a heck of a whirlwind for you. What's it been like being at the centre of the storm?

It's been a strange one. Because I feel like I've been waiting in the wings for quite a while. And I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this until today. So, it's been a really strange few weeks, just watching the show start and listening to people's reactions, but not being able to talk about it. I don't feel like I've been in the centre of the storm at all. I feel like I've been watching it play out.

Have you been able to say anything to anybody, family friends... Postmen?

Absolutely no-one! My mum has no idea where I've been for the past two years. It's been really difficult. But to be honest, I'm actually really good at keeping secrets. So, I've perhaps been too good and haven't told anyone, anything. My agent, no one knows anything! I’m taking it really seriously, maybe a bit too seriously!

You and director Kate Herron have worked together in the past. Is that how it began for you?

Kate and I worked together on a short film of hers a few years ago now. And we stayed in touch, we're mates, we'll go out for coffee and do a bit of improv. We exist in the same circles in London. I'm trying to remember how exactly it happened. I was shooting another film in the UK, and I think I got a message from Kate saying, “I'm on this show, I'm not allowed to talk about what it is... There's a role, we'd like to see what you do with it. I can't tell you any more. Just wanted to give you the heads up...” A really vague WhatsApp message. So, then I got a request for a tape through my agent. But obviously, my agency also couldn't know anything about what was happening and what it was or anything. I was given a really short scene, made a tape of this scene and just had to guess what it was about. I think it was actually what ended up being the scene from Episode Three, which is Loki and Sylvie on the train. I think it ended up being that scene, but it was very different when I did the audition tape for it.

Did it have the word Loki in the script at any point?

No, no, no names! I think it was Bob and Sarah or something completely different. I didn't have a clue what it was.

I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself.

At what point did the penny drop? At what point did you realise that you were auditioning to play a Loki on Loki, and then this incredibly complex character?

I can't remember what happened first. It might have been the news that Kate was directing the new Loki came out. And then I was like, “Oh, maybe that's what I read for...” Or if it was that I was just offered the job, and they told me what it was. But yeah, it was a surprise. And I had a chat with Tom on FaceTime because he was in New York. I never actually met anyone because I was nine months pregnant, I couldn't fly anywhere. So, I was in London, everyone else is in the US. So, it was just that tape, it was all based on that. And obviously, I've worked with Kate before, so she knows that I'm not some weirdo. And she must’ve convinced them to cast me!

Let’s talk a little bit about Sylvie as we now know her. What's clear is that you're not doing a Tom Hiddleston impression. This is not your take on a Tom Hiddleston Loki, this is a very, very different iteration of their character. So where did you start?

Well, probably exactly there, making that decision that I didn't want to go in and do an impression of Tom, because that would have been awful. I'm really bad at impressions for a start! Sylvie’s very different to Loki in a lot of ways. There's the chaos and there's the mischievous, which are very, very Loki traits. But for me, I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself. And I think that plus the playfulness really helped me get into the character. And, and so that was the way I started.

The stunt training and the fight training really helped me with her physicality, and we were all really keen on her being a really strong, sort of street fighter, almost. She's not as elegant as Loki. She's fit and rough around the edges, she's had a harder time, in a way, she's been on the run for the majority of her life, getting into scraps. And I like the idea that she really enjoys fighting. And she'd really get something out of it. Because she knows that she's probably going to win. Right? And that's where her cockiness comes through, maybe. And so that was part of it as well. And then as soon as you put the costume on, you're there.

What was that like? Because the costume says so much as well. There's the headpiece, which obviously has a missing horn, which says a lot about the scrapes that she's gotten into in the past. And also says that this isn't the Loki we might be expecting.

We were really keen on making the costume look like it's been through the wringer a bit. And she's sort of gathered bits of it from places that she's been throughout her journey. We didn't want it to be too clean and shiny. And it was also important to me that it was a really comfortable costume and that I could actually fight in it, and I could kick in it and just do things that I needed to kick not have to worry about breaking it or being uncomfortable. And then Christine Wada, the costume designer, was amazing at just making it super comfy. But I still felt like a badass when I put it on.

The train scene has that wonderful moment where you’re talking about your romantic pasts, and Loki confirms that he is bisexual, which has been received rapturously since the episode came out. Did you get a sense of how momentous it was when you were filming it?

I knew how important it was, yeah. And I'm just so pleased that it's been received so well. And people are super happy to have seem that scene. And like I said, the show is inspired by the comics, and the comics for a long time have alluded to Loki being bisexual or pansexual. And his sexuality is not straight. And even back to Norse mythology. So, it was important to Kate, and it was also important to me and Tom, that this was represented in a six-hour story about that character. Because representation is important.

It's such a beautifully written scene. Can you just talk about your memories of filming those exchanges? Because we've only just met Sylvie, and we haven’t seen Loki consider the idea of love or falling in love or being frail or vulnerable in that way before.

It’s a super important scene. And it was interesting to shoot it because it's the first time that you see Sylvie vulnerable. And it's just a really important moment for the two of them to understand each other in a different way, and not just be miffed by each other for the first time. And when we were filming it, it is quite a long scene. And it just felt really good to do a long, talky scene. It didn't feel long when we were doing it. But it was nice to get into those characters, and it sort of felt like doing a play, when you go a bit deeper and it’s great. It's just another way of understanding the character that you're playing. And listening to Tom singing was also an experience! Didn’t he do such a good job of learning all those words? I was just amazed that he could learn a song in a different language. And he did it so quickly! Like, one day he got the words and the next day he was fluent in Norwegian! That’s Hiddleston, isn’t it? He’s just so smart!

[twh-news]

Loki: Sophia Di Martino Talks About Songs, Sexuality, Scoring The Role Of Sylvie And More

Sophia Di Martino was launched into the pop cultural consciousness thanks to her role as Sylvie – AKA the Loki variant on Marvel Disney Plus series Loki, where she trades barbs and shares background stories with Tom Hiddleston's God of Mischief.

Episode Three of the series found Loki on a wild adventure with Sylvie, after he accidentally sent them both to the doomed moon Lamentis-1, on a collision course with a planet. Facing an apocalypse, the pair hatches a plan to find the escape vessel that some of the moon's wealthier residents are hoping will carry them to safety and, while on the train to the ship, they discuss everything from the nature of love to their respective magical abilities.

When the opportunity arose to talk to her, we naturally jumped at it, so here is part of Chris Hewitt's conversation with Di Martino, who was frank and funny while chatting about getting the job, Loki's sexuality and more.

The last two weeks in particular must have been a heck of a whirlwind for you. What's it been like being at the centre of the storm?

It's been a strange one. Because I feel like I've been waiting in the wings for quite a while. And I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this until today. So, it's been a really strange few weeks, just watching the show start and listening to people's reactions, but not being able to talk about it. I don't feel like I've been in the centre of the storm at all. I feel like I've been watching it play out.

Have you been able to say anything to anybody, family friends... Postmen?

Absolutely no-one! My mum has no idea where I've been for the past two years. It's been really difficult. But to be honest, I'm actually really good at keeping secrets. So, I've perhaps been too good and haven't told anyone, anything. My agent, no one knows anything! I’m taking it really seriously, maybe a bit too seriously!

You and director Kate Herron have worked together in the past. Is that how it began for you?

Kate and I worked together on a short film of hers a few years ago now. And we stayed in touch, we're mates, we'll go out for coffee and do a bit of improv. We exist in the same circles in London. I'm trying to remember how exactly it happened. I was shooting another film in the UK, and I think I got a message from Kate saying, “I'm on this show, I'm not allowed to talk about what it is... There's a role, we'd like to see what you do with it. I can't tell you anymore. Just wanted to give you the heads up...” A really vague WhatsApp message. So, then I got a request for a tape through my agent. But obviously, my agency also couldn't know anything about what was happening and what it was or anything. I was given a really short scene, made a tape of this scene and just had to guess what it was about. I think it was actually what ended up being the scene from Episode Three, which is Loki and Sylvie on the train. I think it ended up being that scene, but it was very different when I did the audition tape for it.

Did it have the word Loki in the script at any point?

No, no, no names! I think it was Bob and Sarah or something completely different. I didn't have a clue what it was.

"I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself."

At what point did the penny drop? At what point did you realise that you were auditioning to play a Loki on Loki, and then this incredibly complex character?

I can't remember what happened first. It might have been the news that Kate was directing the new Loki came out. And then I was like, “Oh, maybe that's what I read for...” Or if it was that I was just offered the job, and they told me what it was. But yeah, it was a surprise. And I had a chat with Tom on FaceTime because he was in New York. I never actually met anyone because I was nine months pregnant, I couldn't fly anywhere. So, I was in London, everyone else is in the US. So, it was just that tape, it was all based on that. And obviously, I've worked with Kate before, so she knows that I'm not some weirdo. And she must’ve convinced them to cast me!

Let’s talk a little bit about Sylvie as we now know her. What's clear to me is that you're not doing a Tom Hiddleston impression. This is not your take on a Tom Hiddleston Loki, this is a very, very different iteration of their character. So where did you start?

Well, probably exactly there, making that decision that I didn't want to go in and do an impression of Tom, because that would have been awful. I'm really bad at impressions for a start! Sylvie’s very different to Loki in a lot of ways. There's the chaos and there's the mischievous, which are very, very Loki traits. But for me, I was really interested in how angry she is and how sort of laser-focused she is on this mission that she's given herself. And I think that plus the playfulness really helped me get into the character. And, and so that was the way I started.

The stunt training and the fight training really helped me with her physicality, and we were all really keen on her being a really strong, sort of street fighter, almost. She's not as elegant as Loki. She's fit and rough around the edges, she's had a harder time, in a way, she's been on the run for the majority of her life, getting into scraps. And I like the idea that she really enjoys fighting. And she'd really get something out of it. Because she knows that she's probably going to win. Right? And that's where her cockiness comes through, maybe. And so that was part of it as well. And then as soon as you put the costume on, you're there.

What was that like? Because the costume says so much as well. There's the headpiece, which obviously has a missing horn, which says a lot about the scrapes, that she's gotten into in the past. And also says that this isn't the Loki we might be expecting.

We were really keen on making the costume look like it's been through the wringer a bit. And she's sort of gathered bits of it from places that she's been throughout her journey. We didn't want it to be too clean and shiny. And it was also important to me that it was a really comfortable costume and that I could actually fight in it, and I could kick in it and just do things that I needed to kick not have to worry about breaking it or being uncomfortable. And then Christine Wada, the costume designer, was amazing at just making it super comfy. But I still felt like a badass when I put it on.

The train scene that wonderful moment were you’re talking about your romantic pasts, and Loki confirms that he is bisexual, which has been received rapturously since the episode came out. And it's such a huge moment and I know it was important to Kate, as well. What can you say about that? First of all, about filming that moment? Did you get a sense of its momentousness when you were filming it?

I knew how important it was, yeah. And I'm just so pleased that it's been received so well. And people are super happy to have seem that scene. And like I said, the show is inspired by the comics, and the comics for a long time have alluded to Loki being bisexual or pansexual. And his sexuality is not straight. And even back to Norse mythology. So, it was important to Kate, and it was also important to me and Tom, that this was represented in a six-hour story about that character. Because representation is important.

And it's such a beautifully written scene as well. Can you just talk about your memories of filming those exchanges? Not just seeing Tom singing in what I presume is Norwegian, and what that was like for you? But also, just that exchange about love and how important it is for these two characters. Because we've only just met Sylvie, of course. And we haven’t seen Loki consider the idea of love or falling in love or being frail or vulnerable in that way before. So, it seemed like a fairly important exchange...

It’s a super important scene. And it was interesting to shoot it because it's the first time that you see Sylvie vulnerable. And it's just a really important moment for the two of them to understand each other in a different way, and not just be miffed by each other for the first time. And when we were filming it, it is quite a long scene. And it just felt really good to do a long, talky scene. It didn't feel long when we were doing it. But it was nice to get into those characters, and it sort of felt like doing a play, when you go a bit deeper and it’s great. It's just another way of understanding the character that you're playing. And listening to Tom singing was also an experience! Didn’t he do such a good job of learning all those words? I was just amazed that he could learn a song in a different language. And he did it so quickly! Like, one day he got the words and the next day he was fluent in Norwegian! That’s Hiddleston, isn’t it? He’s just so smart!

[littlx-songbxrd]

ok so tlh is set in 1903 and there are a few things we know about the clothes from the books themselves- 1. we have a vague idea of the silhouette, as briefly described in the book and the dresses on the cover (although those are mostly incorrect, they do, I suppose, set the reader into the general mindset.) and 2. apparently only pastel colors are fashionable, they do not look nice on cordelia specifically (not all poc girls look 'washed out' in these colors, Kamala, who is often depicted in official art with a similar skin tone to cordelia is stated in the books to look very nice in her pastel dresses)

firstly, the 1900s were a rather odd decade for clothes silhouette wise. this decade was the transition from the 1800s dresses with foot-length hemlines and fuller skirts into the 1910s trends of dresses that reached to the bottom of the calf and a more utilitarian and accessible style. Dresses in the 1900s still had the tubular shape of the 1890s, although it was less severe and it eventually faded out by about 1906 or 1907.

Speaking for now only about the first half of the decade as the books do take place in 1903, the dresses would have had a very structured bodice with flowing skirts that reached to about the ankle. Their undergarments would have included at least three layers (something in between the corset and their body, the corset, and a corset cover) with drawers, stockings, padding at their hips and bust, and at least 1-2 petticoats. dresses consisted of the bodice and skirt as separate pieces, with lace and embellishments used to bring the attention to the bodice.

Day clothes were more structured and less busy, most of them including high necklines and long sleeves. (yes this means that the stupid thing with james always staring at cordelia's chest is not realistic.)

The ballgowns and party dresses that are often mentioned are slightly more accurate. These dresses tended to be very busy with lots of patterns and lace on them, often toward the bust line to achieve an ideal silhouette. skirts were longer and fuller than the day dresses and gloves were always worn with these dresses to make it appear more modest as it had low necklines and short sleeves.

a couple of notes about historical accuracy- number one being the corset. there is a part in chain of gold where cordelia complains about her corset that makes me mad every time I read it. corset were modern bras but more comfortable, they were incredibly supportive and didn't mess with anything permanently. there was always a layer between the skin and the corset as protection for both the skin and the corset as they were intended to be worn for years on end and needed protected from oil and dirt from the body. tight lacing is essentially the historic equivalent to people today who get dressed up in their fanciest clothes for an 8 a.m college class. it wasn't standard and it was only done in very specific situations in which the wearer wanted to look a certain way. for the most part, the super narrow waist wasn't actually all that small, and it looked that way because of padding on the hips and chest.

number two on the standards for fashion at the time. at this point being fashionable was less about standing out as it was about fitting in. If you were wearing something out of fashion it was abnormal and you would be ridiculed for it, along the lines of wearing jeans and a t-shirt to a formal wedding. it was a matter of propriety and respect. Getting dressed a certain way wasn't chore or special thing, it just was.

number three is on the aesthetic dress movement. this would be the category the cover dresses fall into. the aesthetic dress movement encouraged women to dress individually by rejecting the high fashion and emphasizing freedom of movement and practicality. (that is not to mean that high fashions weren't practical and comfortable, its basically just the equivalent of wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants as opposed to something like jeans, a blouse, and five accessories. both are good, its just that they feel very different.) these clothes took from greco-romanic traditions as well as that of eastern asian cultures, with flowing, airy fabrics and loose silhouettes. this style was usually only worn around the home.

next we're going to talk about color. first of all, pastels do not wash cordelia out, she is absolutely stunning in them, as well as the jewel tones. on a more historical note, clothes in the 1900s weren't all pastels????? lighter colors were in trend, as more of an aesthetic dressing style was in fashion, but dark colors could never actually go out of style from a practical standpoint. day dresses from the early half of the decade usually had darker colors, I will link or send another ask with two examples. one, from 1900, is a dark red and gray dress and the other is a walking dress actually from 1903 and is a perfect example of something cordelia could have worn. (it has a very nice brownish gray color with gold embellishments and a high neck.)

now evening dresses on the other hand were usually light colored, almost all of the surviving ones from this decade are a creme or gold color (there are a few in black and some in other colors as well, but the majority are creme, gold, or extremely light to the point they look white.) this is where the biggest plot hole is in my opinion. so it would have been most fashionable by mundane standards to wear a white or gold, which are the mourning and wedding colors respectively, so they obviously couldn’t have done that, which means that the women are either wearing day dresses that wouldn't come into creation until 3-5 years later, they are breaking mundane fashion rules, or they are breaking strict shadowhunter tradition. (out of all the shadowhunter things, the color code seems to actually be the one most consistent through all of the series, aside from the line about the youth in london wearing white sailing outfits.)

cordelias jewel tone wardrobe from anna is incredibly unrealistic in multiple aspects. for one, multiple dresses that would have had to have been custom made by hand plus, correct me if i'm wrong, accessories or undergarments, would have been WILDLY unrealistically expensive. there are plenty of money questions for the shadowhunter universe, but an entire wardrobe like that isn't even historically accurate for the british royal family even with all their blood money. on top of that is the fact that with the cultural implications of certain fashions cordelia very well could have become an outcast for wearing something so wildly out of fashion. there isn't really a modern correlation for it, but while she wouldn't necessarily have become a complete outcast or pariah, with the way we are told the shadowhunters align with societal values of the time (I.e cordelia being ruined) accepting that wardrobe would have been completely counterintuitive to her mission of being accepted by the shadowhunter society.

so that was a lot and i'm not sure if I got everything. let me know if you need any clarification, or want anything continued!!! thank you so much for letting me info dump and rant in your inbox, you are amazing!!

links for photos:

Worth 1903 evening dress

Worth 1903 walking dress

Worth 1900 day dress

plus an article that is the best thing i've ever read

I also have some other video/article links if anyone wants them!!

I will be honest with you anon

I really have nothing to add to all this besides that this is absolutely fascinating

I love how you compared clothing to different types of modern day equivalent that genuinely made it so much easier for me to visualize

I had actually heard complaints about the corset thing before! I had actually seen that many authors seem to write them as if they are the bane of many ya historical fantasies, when in reality it wasn't that at all. So in that scene in chog Cordelias corset was the equivilant of dressing in your fansiest clothes for a class?

See I would have never guessed it!

So more flowy greco-roman inspired clothing got it!

The movement mostly went towards freedom and practicality

Oh that does seem like a problem

The confiction between being appropriate in shadowhunter culture and in the fashion of the time

THE MONEY THING ALWAYS BAFLED ME TOO LIKE HOW ARE THESE HUNTERS WASTING SO MUCH TIME IN THIS WHEN THEY DESPISE FASHION-

Anyways

This is amazing

I will be refering to it more for ficts :D

THANK YOU I WILL BE WATCHING ALL THAT

[ladyaceofspades]

The recent drama:

So I dropped one of my good friends. We had dated when I was 18 for a few weeks and I dumped him because he wouldn't get on the phone to talk to me, so I dipped. In the years that followed, he would come back every so often, try to woo me away from Matt, then eventually get angry and leave. He left and came back like 3 times. We've gone through spells where we would be super buddy buddy, or we wouldn't talk for months. He was my game buddy, although he would drive me insane because he would just do every mission and just drag me along for the fun of it.

While I was with Matt, T was very helpful. He would let me vent to him and he would validate my feelings, and when I was happy, he would remind me of all the awful things Matt did so I would stay strong against him. His line was "you're unhappy" and it worked because I was at the time. Even then, though, I knew he had feelings for me and he would tell me how much he loved me. When Matt and I broke up, I got into a relationship with my husband, Benjas, and T got into a relationship with Amber.

T came around again, spouting the same thing. He loves me, will always love me, wants to be with me, but will respect my relationship...even though his fiancé, Amber had started living with him then. Our friendship did the cycle again, until he overstepped on a FB post of mine, and I put him in his place. I blocked him on FB, he confronted me about it, and I told him why it had to happen: that what he said was totally inappropriate, it made Benjas angry and me angry, and his or my family could've seen it and it caused problems for us. T's comeback was "in all the years I've known you, you've never let a man tell you what to do". I did not stand for that and had to explain 3 times why what he said was bad and why it wasn't acceptable. He finally understood and asked that I text every so often so he knows I'm ok.

I didn't text for a few months. Recently, he tried to reach out through text, and email (forgot he had my email so that was a surprise). When that didn't work, he had his friend Gabe message me, and Amber friended me on FB (she had had me blocked on and off for years). By then, I was hella creeped out. Apparently, T had "a bad feeling" that something bad had happened to me and he had a dream something happened to me, and broke down to Amber and told her he missed me so, according to him, she added me out of jealousy and to see what he and I said to each other on FB (we weren't friends on there so she would've see nothing). Anyway, his actions and him getting his people to reach out to me made me rethink some things, and it also made me listen to my intuition harder, which said that he was full of it and lying. I started to wonder if what he was telling me was true, so I chatted with Amber about it and it was like we were getting two different stories. For example, Amber was moving out because she needed assisted living help and T was telling me that if she moved out, they would probably break up (it went from probably to definitely break up) and he would cut the ties completely, whereas Amber was under the impression that T would still be there for her and that they might break up but it was a low chance. Other things like he was blaming my husband for why I wasn't talking to him, and when I told Amber about it, she got angry about it (understandably).

When I talked to him and told him that I can't trust him when my intuition is telling me that he's lying and it's been proven so we should takea break from being friends, he told me that he wouldn't be coming back or be there for me anymore. I said that that was fine, as if the person going back to someone wasn't him coming back to me every time.

Anyway, I creeped his FB page one more time and he posted

Which essentially is him taking some of the accountability for everything but he's putting a lot of it on me, when I wanted nothing to do with him at all for awhile and I TRIED with the super quick responses or no responses at all. He says he's been used, but he wouldn't respect my marriage even though I told him he needed to and he said he would. I kept saying "I love you like a friend" but he wouldn't listen. How is that my fault? I'm really angry that I'm being blamed for shit I didn't do because he can't face that part of himself.

Not to mention, he has GREATLY overestimated his place in my life (or as my friend Leighann says, his market value). He was needed at some point, but after the FB thing, it became incredibly apparent that he never respected me as a person or as anything else other than a possible future lover, that he put me on a pedestal, and he never considered that I moved on in my emotions. I mean, I got MARRIED to the love of my life and this POS was still trying to chase me, and recently had gone back to telling me how unhappy I was, when I'm not. It was surreal to be told "you're unhappy" multiple times in a short period of time and my brain went "what? No we're not". Whatever mind game he tried to run on me again didn't work this time.

Anyway, here's the shit Amber texted me when I asked her why she friended me again:

Versus what he texted me about everything:

So....why the gap in stories? I confronted him about what his friends said to her too, and he complained that you can't control your friends so I couldn't hold that against him. Well, in reality, you set the standard for how your friends act around you, and you set the boundaries about your SO, so his friends shouldn't have been telling her that she looked like me or anything. He also told me not to trust her, but I felt like she didn't have an agenda with me, until the end. Now I find that they're staying together, or else why would he be apologizing to her publicly in multiple posts? Guess she bought his bullshit, and he doesn't want to be alone again. Lol whatever, let them be toxic together. Unfortunately, if he's done this once, he'll do it again (he did with another woman too apparently - an ex of a friend of his, he asked for pics of her and according to him he said "no nudes" but according to Amber, the woman said "no nudes"), so it'll only be a matter of time until he either tries to come after me again, or he finds someone else in his town to go after. I've blocked him on almost everything, blocked her as well, so neither of them can come back in my life. I'm just a little worried about those old nudes of mine he still has...I don't think he'd do anything but I almost told Amber about them so she would get him to delete them. I guess, worst case is I could always sue if he puts them on a p0rn site...

Sorry I needed to get this shit off my chest. I know people's opinions shouldn't matter to me, but they do, especially when I'm being blamed for everything and the person who ACTUALLY set everything in motion is refusing to take responsibility for it.

I'll do a cord cutting spell or a binding or something after we move to the new apartment so they don't come back.