#all i'm saying is i'm a kissy drunk

[nereidprinc3ss]

drunk in love

in which fem!reader gets extra affectionate with spencer when she's drunk and he's just happy to be there

fluff! warnings/tags: drunk!reader, tooth-rottingly sweet fluff, spencer loves you so bad, short n sweet, that's it a/n: this is for the person who requested spencer taking care of drunk!reader and they're just being really cute and kissy and i lost your request i'm sorry but i hope you see this!! if you guys like this pls let me know, i have spencer helping drunk!r with a bath locked and loaded and its also so cute oh my god i love him goodnight

“Spence,” you say, voice pretty and airy as a song, pressing butterfly-light kisses with soft lips all over the side of his face. 

“What?” he asks fondly, fighting to keep his grip on you secure as you keep trying to fall down and bring him with you. This bar isn’t necessarily a dive, but he’s sure the floor is still sticky and he’s not interested in checking. 

“I really love you so much. I love you so much more than anyone else has ever loved anyone before.” It’s the fourth or fifth time you’ve told him you love him so much in ten minutes, but it doesn’t feel any less wonderful to hear. “Say it back!” you pout, settling against his chest. 

“You didn’t give me time to say it back,” he explains patiently, looking down at you and brushing hair behind your ear. “I love you so much, too, baby.”

Suddenly you’re too flustered and shy to make eye contact. 

“Call me that again.”

Spencer’s brow furrows. His smile flickers wider. 

“What? Baby?” You nod into his chest. He smooths your hair. “I call you baby all the time.”

“Because you love me?”

“Because I love you,” he agrees solemnly. 

You squeak, covering your face with your hands. Not for the first time tonight, he wonders what exactly was in those drinks Penelope kept ordering for you.

“Kiss?”

He gently grabs your wrists. 

“You have to show me that pretty face if you want a kiss.”

Your hands slide down your cheeks and you tilt your head up. Now that your face is on display, pretty and shiny in the low lighting, Spencer ducks down and kisses you sweetly, one hand on the back of your head, the other pulling your wrists down and out of the way. He makes sure to not let it go on for too long. There are still plenty of people around, but more saliently, you are quite drunk. 

“Good?” he asks, brushing a thumb over your cheek as he pulls away.

“Can we kiss forever?”

“We can try,” he muses. 

“I love you,” you say again, plainly. “I wish there was a word stronger than love. I feel like I’ve said love so much it’s lost all its meaning.”

“Keep saying it,” he encourages. “I like hearing it.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” you whisper. Spencer leans down for you to cup your hand to his ear clandestinely. Sweet vanilla perfume still clings to your warm skin, lingering on your neck, mixing with the smell of fruity cocktails on your breath and making him dizzy. “I think JJ has a crush on you.”

He chuckles, straightening. Grieving the loss of your scent for just a second in the back of his mind—until you’re pressing against him anxiously, and it returns. 

“JJ is married, babe. I don’t think so.”

You pout. 

“No, but I really think she does! It makes me sad!”

Spencer doesn’t believe it for a second, but he knows hard logic and persuasion aren’t really going to do much for you right now. So he loops an arm around your waist and reigns you in. 

“You don’t need to be sad, sweetheart. It doesn’t matter who has a crush on me because I have a crush on you.”

“Just me?” you ask anxiously. 

“Just you. You’re the prettiest girl in the world. I have a huge crush on you.”

He realizes his voice has taken on that saccharine quality that Derek would give him shit for, and it’s probably visible in his eyes as he leans close to you, but he doesn’t care at all. 

You raise your chin, wordlessly asking for another kiss. He delivers. The fabric of his shirt tugs where you grab onto it, attempting to bring him closer even when he draws away from the kiss. Of course he allows it, narrowly avoiding stepping on your toes as you pull him to you like a dog on a leash. 

“Can we go home? I wanna cuddle.”

Oh, yeah. If Derek were present he’d have the most ridiculous, shit-eating grin on his face right now. Luckily he’s not here right now, and even if he were, Spencer would still brush your hair aside and say, absolutely we can go home and cuddle. 

“Of course we can. Do you want to say goodbye to everyone?”

“Mm… can we Irish goodbye?”

He chuckles. 

“I think you should say thank you to Penelope for buying you all of those ridiculous drinks that are making you so nice.”

You make a face. 

“I’m always nice.”

“You’re not always this nice,” he reminds you with a small smile, resting his hands on your waist. You frown. 

“In my head I am.”

He kisses your head. It’s impossible not to. 

“I know. Come on, let’s say bye. I want to go home too.”

“You think I’m not usually nice?”

“Of course I don’t think that. I think you’re so nice.”

“Oh my god, can we get ice cream?” You gasp, already distracted and pulling him along by the hand as you weave through the sparse crowd. 

He smiles to himself, happy to follow your lead as long as you don’t let go. 

“We can definitely get ice cream. We can do whatever you want.”

[seriouslysam8]

Because the struggle is real...

I present a sneak peek for Selcouth and my pretty ass banner that I'm obsessed with.

Harry’s part in the conversation ceased as Remus brought up some new Transfiguration theory that had recently been discussed in Transfiguration Today. His eyes roamed around the pub, watching as people drank and laughed and gesticulated sloppily. His eyes stopped on a pretty redhead at the bar. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, whisps of hair falling down on either side of her pale face. She smiled like the setting sun, her entire face lighting up as she chatted with the bartender. 

Harry licked his bottom lip before he drained his beer. “Hey, I’m going to grab another one. Want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Sirius replied.

“No, thank you, Harry,” Remus added.

Harry wiped his fingers across his mouth to ensure there was no foam as he approached the bar. He took a spot next to the redhead and ordered another beer. Slowly, he turned his head to see the redhead looking at him with the corner of her mouth quirked.

“Not very adventurous, huh?” the woman asked, leaning her side into the bar so she could face him.

Harry mimicked her. “Adventurous, yes. Wanting to get so shit-faced that I can’t move in the morning, no.”

The woman furrowed her brow. “That’s a very unique accent.”

Harry chuckled. “I was born in England and then raised in America. It gets muddled sometimes.”

“Ahh, that’s interesting,” the woman replied, brushing her ponytail behind her shoulder. “Born and raised in England. No foreign country interference.”

Harry chuckled as the woman’s drink was sat in front of her. She grabbed it but didn’t move from her spot. Instead, she sipped her drink and looked over the rim of the glass at him.

“What brings you to Wales?” Harry asked, leaning his elbow on the bar.

“Work,” she replied. “You?”

Harry’s face scrunched up. “Uh… helping a family friend,” he settled on saying as his lager was placed in front of him.

“I’m Ginny, by the way,” she introduced himself.

Harry swallowed, knowing he shouldn’t give his real name while in the United Kingdom. “James.”

“So, James, are you here with anyone?” Ginny asked, her eyebrow arching.

Harry let out a breathy chuckle. “I’m actually here with my, uh, my dad,” he replied, deciding calling Sirius his dad was easier. “And his old childhood friend,” he added, waving in the direction of the corner table.

Ginny peered around him, her eyes squinting. Harry doubted she could see them. It was dark in the pub.

“How about you?” Harry asked, his thumb brushing along the glass. “Are you here with your, your boyfriend?”

Ginny laughed, her brown eyes sparkling. “No boyfriend. I’m here with my friends,” she explained and pointed to a table in the middle of the pub where there was a good ten girls sitting around the table all ogling at them and making kissy faces, clearly drunk.

“I can, uh, I can let you get back to them, if you want,” Harry said, shifting his weight. “Or, or we can sit at the bar and chat.”

Ginny offered him a sly smile and slid onto the bar seat next to him. She crossed her legs, taking another sip of her drink. Harry’s chest fluttered as he took a sip of his own drink to calm his nerves. He wasn’t the pick up a girl at a pub type of bloke. In fact, he could count on one hand the number of girls he kissed, dated, or slept with.

“So, what do you do?” Ginny asked, cocking her head to the side.

Harry searched her face, feeling very relieved that if he messed up any terminology that he could blame it on living in America too long. “I’m training to be a doctor,” he replied, his brows twitching on the last word and hoping it was correct. “You?”

“I actually play… football,” Ginny replied, offering him an upside-down smile. 

“Do you really?” Harry pressed.

“On an all-girls team,” Ginny continued. “It’s my first year on the team. Well, if you can call it that. I’m on the reserves, so… yeah. Wish me luck.”

“Still impressive,” Harry argued with a soft smile. “And I wish you all the luck in the world.”

[2012aura]

Spencer reid x reader where she has red lipstick on and kisses him all over his face and he’s just like giggle as reader just keeps doing it? (Hope u understand what I mean English isn’t my first language)

of course, i can do this, and your english is fine do not worry!

red kissies !

summary : being drunk and wearing red lipstick doesn't always stay clean.

warning : alcohol usage.

pairing : spencer reid x black!reader

it was a late friday night, and the bau had just closed a big case they were working on. you forgot who but someone suggested you all go out for drinks to celebrate, and gosh how could you say no?

so there you sat, five drinks deep, at the booth with spencer. his hand around your waist to keep you steady on your seat, nothing but a dozy smile left on your red lips. you leaned into spence, "can i kiss you spence?" you said breathlessly. maybe it was the alcohol giving you the confidence to kiss him in front of all his friends, or perhaps you were tired of being so scared of public displays of affection. a soft smile also overtook spencers beautiful features, the team looked at you both and could see heart eyes. "of course you can beautiful, kiss away," he said. you wasted no time diving into his lips, your lipstick starting to smear on him.

you moved your lips from against his letting yourself indulge in his now red and smiley face. that same dorky smile that came around every time you both watched some sci-fi movie. you started to kiss around his face, leaving red-tinted kissy marks all over his cheeks and neck. the team was still so invested and their eyes never darted away, even when spencer side-eyed them many times. they talked amongst themselves, in shock at how this night of drinking was coming to an end. your kisses soon filled most of his face, giggling to yourself about the absurd amount of kisses on him. "hm, i wonder who did all of these," you strung out your words, pointing to each and every kiss mark. spencer just sat there, with his heartwarming, loving smile, "I'm not sure, but if I'm correct, it must be the pretty lady in front of me," he said lovingly.

he got himself up from his seat, walking over to the team, leaving you to put your jacket on. "if you guys even so mutter of this ... you're dead," he said jokingly, while the team snickered at him. "pretty boy, your face is covered in kisses, can't take you seriously," said derek with a cheeky smile on. "yeah yeah whatever, bye you guys, we had a blast." spencer said as everyone also said goodbye, derek let another sly remark leave his lips. "yeah we can see that," he said which made the rest of the team erupt in laughter. spencer finished helping you put your jacket on and grabbed your hand, leading you to the exit. it was a chilly night, and your hair was now poofy from all the fun you all had. you both were too drunk to even consider driving so you walked, you didn't live too far from this little bar.

"spence, i love you, my pretty boy," you cooed while you lazily touched the side of his face. before spencer could reply another idea popped into your mind, "do you mind if i take a picture of us, just for memories you know?" spencer said he didn't mind at all. you took out your phone from your coat pocket ad snapped a couple pictures of you both, and then him alone. you weren't planning on posting them, at least not for a long time. "thank you for tonight spence, it was amazing" you said wholeheartedly, you were not approaching your apartment after walking for about fifteen minutes. "you're welcome baby, always wanna see you happy." spencer spoke as you both arrived at the apartment door. opening the door for you and letting you tumble upstairs as he locked the door. once you were both in the privacy of your own room you changed into something more comfortable for sleeping. you both sat on the edge of the bed, with cups of tea on your lap, and a book in spencers hand. you admired his face longly, with the red stains still on them. which is when you decided to take another picture of me, and one turned into ten until he acknowledged you.

"i know i said a picture lasts longer but i think you have enough," he laughed as he set his book and tea down, grabbing yours and doing the same. his arms found their way around your waist, pulling you up onto the bed and onto his chest. "let's rest now, yeah?" he said, and you sleepily nodded. the next morning all went well, you both woke up with a pounding headache but one detail went unnoticed until you fully opened your eyes, "SPENCER THE SHEETS!" you yelped, there were now red stains permanently stuck on your white sheets.

-

hopefully, you enjoyed it, leave a cmmt if you please!

[vidavalor]

I finally read all of your fantastic food metaphors meta post (incredible). I wanted to ask you more about one part:

> He begins to try to say that the fish will be "turned into bouillabaisse" but that word is too difficult for him to say while drunk. While attempting to, he gets distracted gazing at Aziraphale and calls him "baby" in a low voice and then we get their hilarious very drunk kissy faces. Crowley manages to translate "bouillabaisse" in his mind enough to "fish stew-- anyway!" and they sober up soon afterwards

I did not catch this (him saying “baby”) at all! Is this something you think you could show in eg a screenshot or something? or is it super subtle, would it only be clear if I went back and watched the whole scene and looked/listened very closely at that moment?

Hi there! 💕 Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it. Lemon sugar cookie? *sets you out a plate*

The whole 'drunk in the bookshop' scene is an official promo clip from Prime so I've linked it at the bottom so you don't have to go find the moment in the episode. It's at about :42 in the video below. If it doesn't play in your region or otherwise doesn't work, let me know and we'll work something else out.

So what I'll tell you is that everyone who goes and watches it again hears it clear as day but you are far from the first person to tell me that they didn't notice it before and it took me a watch or two. It is definitely, emphatically "baby", though-- you don't need to listen for a hidden whisper or anything. It's at this point here:

Crowley: That's mah point. Whole sea bubbling... the dolphins and whales... everybody turning into bouilaba... bouile... bouilabay... (camera on Aziraphale, who is miming a drunken kiss at Crowley)... baby. Right, fish stew. Anyway! It's not their fault.

It's actually filmed in a way that I think is meant to be intentionally distracting and a bit of visual sleight-of-hand. The camera is on Aziraphale when Crowley says "baby" and we're distracted by the hilarious drunken kiss that Aziraphale is miming at him. Had we had a scene in which at least Aziraphale was sober and Crowley called him "baby", no one would have stopped talking about it since the episode aired lol because Aziraphale's reaction would have "counted"-- in that, he could have been relied upon to have one in the first place. As it is, if Aziraphale noticed, he did not appear to be unfamiliar with it.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

[rinsuniverse]

wait im back one more LMAO 😭 woozi whos never eeally passionate w kisses, just quick pecks, so one day he and hoshi are drinking and hoshi lets it slip and woozi comes home all :((( i can kiss good :((((( right baby :(((((((

tipsy & kissy with woozi ✧˖°.

this is a CRAZY imagine, but i love it!

woozi isn't the greatest when it comes to physical affection (we all know)

when you're dating him for many months now, you're used to it

you feel extremely lucky when you get him to hug you back, hold your hand, or even give you the quickest peck on your forehead or lips

it'd be a CRAZY lucky day if he wanted to cuddle you

and it wasn't supposed to be any different from that until he gradually got even more comfortable with you

but today, when soonyoung came by your house to pick up woozi for drinks and he watched him give you the QUICKEST, most "boring" (according to hoshi) peck on the lips, he was BOUND to tell woozi about it

woozi isn't the type to get drunk when going out for some casual drinks

but when soonyoung brought up the topic of "why do you only ever barely touch her? how is she supposed to know you love her, man?", woozi finds himself grabbing more and more shots

he was thinking, "they know i love them, right?" and "maybe they complain to their friends about the lack of contact... no way... right?"

"you don't kiss her like you love her."

"but i do love her!"

"then maybe you're not a good kisser."

"me? psh. me? not a good kisser? me? don't kid yourself."

"maybe we should ask her then. i think i have her number-"

"no!"

and jihoon insists they change the subject and they enjoy their drinks together, soonyoung guiding jihoon home from the taxi

when jihoon gets home, his cheeks are pink and his eyes are glistening

soonyoung helps you bring him to bed before leaving himself

you get some water for jihoon and walk over to your bed, sighing

"this isn't like you, ji. are you alright?"

"i'm good, right?"

"um, i don't know, i'm asking you."

his bottom lip juts out as he talks, "i can kiss good, right? tell me, baby"

you chuckle to yourself, "what is this about?"

"you know i love you, right? :((("

"of course," you say, brushing your hand gently through his hair

"do you want me to kiss you more?" he asks, blinking his eyelashes at you

"ji, it's up to you. i'm fine with whatever you're comfortable with-"

"i'm a good kisser."

"okay..?"

"tell me that i'm a good kisser."

"you're a good kisser."

"no, like, you have to actually mean it."

"i do mean it, silly."

he grabs your cheek and caresses it with his thumb, pulling you close so that your noses are touching

"soonyoung thinks i'm not a good boyfriend to you"

"you're drunk"

"i'm not that drunk, just tipsy," he says, pushing his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. "sorry, it's probably weird."

"no, it's cute," you smile. "it would be nice if you kissed me more. or longer."

he nods against you. "i'll try," he mumbles, before leaning forward and kissing you

he counts the seconds in his head before backing away

"is that good?"

"yep," you say, your cheeks almost as pink as his. "you're a good kisser."

"give me a few more months and i'll get even better."

"okay, silly."

jihoon loves you, but don't expect to see his love through physical affection

but when he does get the balls to do more than just silly pecks or loose hugs (or is in a clingy mood), he doesn't mind showing you how he feels about you

he wants you to be able to brag about him to your friends, tho he'd never admit that out loud.

overall, sometimes he'll try to be more lovey dovey through physical affection just to make you happy and make you feel loved

thank you so much for this silly request! it's a side of jihoon we don't expect to see much. feel free to leave more requests of things you'd like to see from me! ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

(p.p.s. if you want to be friends, my inbox is open! if you just need someone to talk to or vent to or advice, i'm also here. have a super good day! ♡)

[marimayscarlett]

This is a FREE pass to deep dive into ANY of your favorite thing(s) about Mr. Zee Kay!!! I wanna hear EVERYTHING about your favorite thing, I love seeing your deep dives and essays on the most important subject to exist ❤️

❗ CAUTION. LONG-ISH POST AHEAD. ❗

Hi! First of all:

Kissies for you for sending me this ask, thank you so much! This has been sitting in my inbox for a while now since it took me ages to decide what this post should be about. I didn't want to make yet another fashion/stage outfit/etc post, so I decided to do something different with it.

I decided this will be a long ass post about Richard's outspokenness and honesty in interviews and some of my favourite quotes/topics he spoke about in the past. This man has A LOT to say and sometimes is brutally honest with his answers. You ask him how he's doing or what he thinks about XYZ? Prepare for a lengthy and detailed reply. You ask him something silly or boring? Be prepared he quite actually reacts quite directly on it.

This list will be sorted by three topics: 1. Quotes regarding work with Rammstein, Emigrate and in general, 2. Quotes about his personal life and finally, 3. Unhinged shit Richard says since this man sometimes has no filter.

All interviews will be linked, german quotes are translated into english. Prepare yourself, this will be long and self-indulgend and I'm probably the only person who's really interested in this stuff but i don't CARE, I love reading about and listening to this man and I'll use this post to my liking thanks to this lovely, lovely anon 💞 Let's get started 👀🤍

Richard on working with Rammstein and Emigrate and music in general

In this interview, Richard talks about being put into the right wing corner by the german media and how hard it is for him and the band: "You want to shout it out loud and convince people otherwise, only to find that nobody listens because nobody wants to know. They want you in this corner. That was very disillusioning."

Here he gives an example for his immeasurable perfectionism and how he tries to protect himself from it: "I spent a lot of time recording guitars over and over again. I ended up giving my guitar engineer the key to the locker where my guitar cabinets are and told him “Do not give me this key back”,  otherwise I would have still been in there recording guitars right now.

In the same interview, he also gives an example how the whole Mutter problem came into play: "So if I’d come up with 45 ideas, then others in the band may feel they’d have to come up with 45 ideas as well. There was lot of pressure going on within Rammstein because of that."

Here Richard talks about how he, back in the GDR days, wandered from peer group to peer group to find his style: "I've always been bored of sticking with just one group of people. The metalheads got drunk too often. So I moved on - and I found that refreshing - to the punks …" Interviewer: … who didn't drink any less. "No, exactly. And they were also dirtier (laughs). Then I was with the bluesmen, and they always went to these blues fairs. And because they also drank a lot, they could sleep well, whereas I, who didn't drink, always woke up at three in the morning because I was so cold - we only had these thin cotton sleeping bags."

Richard on the amount of hours which go in one song of his [interview]: "At some point, I calculated that it takes me about 1000 hours on average for a song to reach the listener. But I don't want to think too much about the time involved. That would just be frustrating."

On his relationship with Flake and that he would be the one member of the band Richard would play an Emigrate album as a test run to [interview]: "Although someone like Flake would probably be very open to that. We have a lot of respect for each other and are in a lively exchange. For example, I regularly listen to his radio show - and call him afterwards to ask him what weird stuff he's been saying. (laughs)"

2. Richard on his personal life

In my alltime favourite podcast with Richard, he admist to seemingly being a quite difficult person to live with (apparently, only his daughter is able to and is relaxed enough to bring him inner peace). He hates talking in the morning, needs time for himself with no talking and reflect on things and sometimes is afraid/annoyed that he has to explain himself to others (since other people tend to take offense because of this). This is one of the reasons why he definitely can't imagine living together with a girlfriend again.

Here he talks about the evolution of friendship with Till: Intervier: How has your friendship changed over more than 30 years? Richard: "Well, as it goes in life: Unfortunately, there's never a happy ending. You should only meet friends once or twice a month. It's unnatural for men to be extremely close for decades. At some point you want to be left alone." Interviewer: You two are more like colleagues these days? Richard: "Sounds stupid, but that's kind of how it is. But I still have a basic trust: If anything happens, I know I can call Till and he'll be there, just like the others."

Here Richard admits to his immense moodiness at times: "I am a very moody person, my mood sometimes changes by the hour."

Why he likes western movies so much [interview]: "It might sound strange, but I have really early childhood memories of my father watching these cowboy movies and falling asleep… that ended up being part of my upbringing somehow."

And his fond memory of the wild times with Till after the wall came down [interview]: "Because at that time, in every house there was a techno or rave party, and we would go there, and 7 in the morning, he would bring his daughter to school, and then come back and we would stay there into the daytime, and dance to these electric beats — I mean, can you imagine us dancing like that?"

How he answers to a fan question in which movie/show he'd like to be a part of (musically or in general) [article]: "I would have loved to have been in Game of Thrones. I really love fantasy worlds, you know? Also Westworld."

3. Welcome to the unhinged RZK corner aka "Shit RZK says":

In this interview, he describes his relationship with music like this: "I believe the music itself must be the king, but I want to be the queen." Alrighty then 👀

Just overall this conversation with him thinking about filming himself having sex [interview]:

The Gauntlet: Do you always have that funny smile during sex? [regarding the Pussy MV]

Richard: "I actually never watched myself but you have a point. I really should watch myself or videotape it. I never really...I can do it. I did that a long time ago but every girl is different. Do I really smile? Sometimes I guess, I will have to check that out. You really have me thinking on that one."

This man seemingly tried every therapy under the sun, which is good, but this one left me a bit speechless [interview]: "I always had the feeling that I was a king without a nation. That was always in my head and I once did reincarnation therapy and experienced this life. It was really interesting and this song came out of that [song: Born on my own].

Here he admits to throwing a guitar at Lemmy Kilmister: "It was the third time a roadie had given me an out-of-tune guitar. So I threw it at him. Unfortunately, Lemmy was standing there watching the show from the side of the stage. But I didn't know that, I just saw Lemmy disappear. That was very embarrassing for me."

Or he throws his credits cards at sales women (how about some anger management my guy): "The last time I was there [New York], I wanted to pay for a coffee in a café with a hundred dollar bill. But not because I wanted to be a big shot, but because I just had this one bill in my pocket. The sales woman hissed at me and threw the bill back over the counter. I just thought: She's out of her mind. I then threw my credit card at her. I was really angry."

If you made it to the end of this post, I really applaud you and apologize for my rambling yet again 🙏 I could go on and on (I didn't even started with quoting the video interviews), but I think since I'm the only one who's into this, I stop right here 😅 Have some smiley Richard as a reward 🍀

[whumpshaped]

What if Helle found Beck after a night of drinking and didn’t know how to act when Beck is overly comfortable with seeing them? Sorry if ooc for Beck

i didnt know whether itd be ooc so i just started writing and let it take me wherever it wanted to lol i hope u enjoy!!!

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, intimate whumper, alcohol and drinking and being drunk, dubcon kissy on cheek

He deserved this. He had been living in terror for the past month, and all he wanted was a bit of fun. Spending time with his friends. Normalcy.

Beck downed his third shot way too quickly, eager to forget about the fact that he was a vampire chewtoy now, and it was likely only a matter of time before Helle decided to escalate. This could've been his last free night! So why not make it a stupidly drunk one?

"I've never seen you drink like that," Sofie said with equal parts awe and worry in her voice. "Is this still about that bite scare?"

"I just wanna have fun," he whined. "Can't I? I'm fine."

"I'd never dream of prohibiting that." She still looked nervous, making Beck groan.

"I haven't been out at night for weeks. I just wanna... relax. I just wanna feel normal for a second." He briefly thought about switching his and Noah's shot glasses while he was in the bathroom and drinking his share too, but he wasn't drunk enough yet to trade mouth germs. "Is that such a crime? I won't, like, drink myself into oblivion."

"You're right," she conceded. "I'm not your mother or anything. I'm sure you can look after yourself."

"Thank you. I'll be responsible."

He ended up being less than responsible, buying and consuming at least three more shots. There was no stopping the constant whirling and swirling of the bar anymore, and he barely had the strength to keep his eyes open — but the spinning got so much worse whenever he closed them.

He somehow managed to pay for everything before sliding off the bar stool and heading towards the exit, never considering that it was well past midnight and the crowd outside was thinning. Thoughts of vampires were drowned out by a sudden desire for some pizza, and he decided to try to get to a restaurant he'd been to exactly one time before and gotten lost on the way. He had even been sober, then.

"Oh, goddammit... It should be right here," he muttered, staring at the closed clothing store. "Would it even be open at this hour..?"

"Beck?"

The vampire's voice cut through the drunken haze like a dagger, and he spun around to face them with such momentum that he almost lost his balance entirely. "Helle!" His back hit the locked glass doors of the shop behind him, and he was grateful for the added support. "I'm– I'm looking for the pizza place. You wouldn't happen to know where that is, huh?"

Helle tilted their head at him in curiosity, and he really wished he could've waved a magic wand and sobered up instantly. They had already fed for the night. They were supposed to leave him alone for the rest of it. "Do you drink often?" they asked, completely disregarding his question.

He couldn't help it when he just... laughed. It was an involuntary reaction, a result of his anxiety and the absurdity of the situation. "I don't think that's any of your business!" He flinched back immediately after saying it, cursing himself internally. "Well, I mean, it's not like– y'know, I'm just saying..."

"It is definitely my business. Do you even know how bitter alcohol makes the blood?" They stalked closer, and Beck quickly tried to slip away and continue walking down the street.

"Nope! And you absolutely don't have to put yourself through that!" He almost cursed out loud this time when Helle caught up to him, casual as ever. "Really, I'm just gonna– you know what? I really don't want pizza anymore. I'm gonna– I'm gonna head home. It was great seeing you–"

He did a swift 180, swift enough to stumble and trip over his own feet again, for real this time. Helle was quicker, catching him by the arm before he even realised he was falling. "Humans baffle me sometimes," they murmured. "Your solution to being pursued by a dangerous predator is to make yourself even more vulnerable?"

"No, no, I drank all that alcohol so you'd hate the taste of my blood. I totally knew about the bitterness. This is like– this is advanced, I wouldn't expect you to understand." He pulled on his arm weakly, not even surprised when it did nothing to make Helle release him. "Sorry, I'm just saying anything at this point," he added with a nervous little laugh. "I always do that. I shouldn't be allowed to drink. Hey, how about– what if you let go of me, and then, then I went home, and we just forgot about this?"

"I wish I could." They pulled him even closer, their amused smile greatly undermining their semi-serious tone. "But you are just adorable when you cannot shut up. Not to mention how warm you are right now... flushed... I think you should drink more, actually."

Beck could feel his face getting even warmer at the closeness. A misguided, touch-starved part of him recognised Helle's words as almost flattery, and desperately wanted to just lean into it. The other, rational, sober part of him wanted to run — but it was difficult with his limbs not complying. "You d-don't actually think that," he stammered, still making futile attempts at pushing the vampire away. "I get so annoying."

They must've realised how much he wanted them to deny that, because their smile widened, red eyes gleaming with mischief. "I do think that," they purred. "I always think you are cutest when you tell the truth. When you let that blatant need for praise shine right through."

"I don't– I don't... huh?" He was properly flustered now, so much so that he forgot he was supposed to be struggling. "Stop mocking me," he said without any conviction, so quiet that it could've easily gotten lost in the noise of the street. He knew they heard it, though. A perk of talking to vampires.

God, what was he thinking?

"I would never dream of mocking you. Not when you look so pretty and desperate." His breath hitched when they leaned in, pulling him closer by his shirt to press a kiss to his cheek. "Unless you asked me to, of course. But I thought you were trying to get away," they whispered. "Why are you clinging now?"

Beck had no idea when his fingers had gotten tangled up in the fabric of Helle's sweater, and he pushed them away instantly, thoroughly embarrassed and confused. "I'm g-going home," he exclaimed, waiting for Helle to stop him, or say something that would've made him change his mind, or... something. But they didn't. They just stood there, smiling, letting Beck look like a complete idiot.

"Do you secretly live here?" they teased. "Or would you like to spend some more time with me?"

"Absolutely not. I'm– I'm going. Bye." He turned to leave, getting out of there as fast as he could. He rubbed his cheek absentmindedly with the sleeve of his hoodie the entire way to the bus station, trying to get rid of the feeling of soft lips against his skin.

He really, truly shouldn't have been allowed to drink.

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs

[lovehypegirl]

ִֶָ ⊹ ִֶָ INFRUNAMI

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"GIRL, YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT" "YOU'RE THE ONE I NEED"

pairing: miyuki x f! reader synopsis: you're miyuki's girlfriend from new york city, a former baseball player, and a manager for seidou notes: kinda connects to REAL HOT GIRL SHIT. and yes, I'm from the city warnings: i would say none but y/n talks about nyc's crime so thats the warning. nyc. all the cute kissy stuff is toward the end wc: 0.6k

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infrunami reminds me of him. as well as blame by bryson tiller and family affair by mary j. blige but oh well

you began to date at the end of your first year

tbh he might have been a little intimidated by you since you're an American and the Japanese are known for their etiquette and decorum and the US is known for well...guns (and expensive health care)

his mental stereotypes kinda went away when he realized you weren't going to whip out a glock 19 whenever you got mad

he did admire how you always spoke your mind even if it meant you ending up saying the national anthem in English to prove your patriotism. you can take a man out of America but you can't take the America out of a man (i deadass do this like i've got that shit memorized down PAT)

"for the land of the freeeeeeeeee....and the home of the...braveeeeeeeeeee" you concluded your serenade of Star Spangled Banner as you two sat in his dorm

"kinda impressive that you know that by heart" Miyuki mused

"go to enough sports events and sit through enough graduations and you'll get the hang of it"

he's probably asked you a bunch of questions about what growing up in nyc was like

he was confused when you said your parents let you ride on the subway with friends at age 11 (you had said the subway was dangerous like 14 seconds ago)

he was mortified when you said you saw 2 girls get stabbed in Grand Central Station while you were eating your food in the Dining Concourse (real life events)

but he still doesn't really understand why people are so rowdy during baseball games and why you hate it that Japanese baseball games are quiet

"You're saying people get drunk at baseball games?" he asked you one night during an evening jog "Yeah, and it won't even be four pm yet and the guy next to you is fucking buzzed. Some get drunk even before they get to the stadium" "Why do people get drunk at games?" "Cause it's a sports game. people get drunk at all kinds of games. probably makes the experience better. Not that I've got experience" "Wouldn't that distract the players if the stadium was loud?" he asked as you rounded a bend in the track "Not really. when I was on the mound and everyone was cheering after I shut the opposing team out, three up three down, it's kinda uplifting. like an adrenaline rush almost. like you've got hundreds of people in the stadium and around the country watching you play so well and be proud of you. it's the American spirit" you huffed with a grin "What if a player gets booed at?" he asked, facing you slightly "hmm, well if hundreds are booing you, that's worse than your coach screaming at you in the parking lot" you shrugged and handed him his water bottle as you two took a break by the benches "I think I'd prefer getting booed at than Coach Kataoka screaming at me in the parking lot" he said, accepting the water bottle you handed to him "See? You do get it. Although I do prefer baseball games in the states tho, 'cause security won't come up to you and take the homer you caught" "You know there's a section you can sit at to catch homers and foul balls?" "Yeah but I ain't payin' an extra like, 20% to catch a goddamn ball" "Fair enough"

PLEASEEE PUT HIM ONTO WESTERN MUSICCCCC OH MY GODDDD

I think he'd like TYLER, THE CREATOR and KENDRICK LAMAR for runs/light workout (he's kinda invested in the kendrick vs drake saga)

Even the THE NEIGHBORHOOD he would like, along with STEVE LACY for anytime of the day

BOSSA NOVA, HOUSE MUSIC, and JAZZ while he reviews baseball scorebooks and you do your homework, your legs in his lap and you're trying with every cell in your body to not rip apart your homework 'cause trig makes no sense

And you guys watch MLB highlights together (cause he might join the MLB after college)

He really likes it when you are at his games (you go anyways ‘cause you’re the manager) but he just likes it when you watch him and when you smile at him when he walks into the dugout from your desk where you're scoring the games He gives your hand a little squeeze when he passes you, a quick kiss on your neck after you help him with his catchers gear, or a kiss to your cheek when you help him with his batter helmet

He always wants to know about what nyc was like for you and what baseball was like for you

Sometimes you both go out to the fields after practice in the evenings and you give him pointers on batting (not that he needs it) but you teach him what you've learned from the states

Or in the evenings when the sunset is pretty and the weather is perfect and there's a warm breeze you're on a field and he's practicing his swings and you've got your legs up on the fence with your back on the grass with this playlist playing in the background (pink & white ESPECIALLY GODDD)

He's probably more quality time based but add quality time and mix it with making something together to swap for a gift giving aspect and it's perfect

Take him to a make and paint your own pottery studio and I think he'll love it a lot

You're both sitting at a table together while you focus on a rectangular box (for him to keep the new MLB cards you'll be gifting him for his birthday) and he's sitting across from you, expertly shaping a bowl

He's oddly good at this (he watched videos on it after you brought it up)

In the end, he got a navy blue box with baseballs painted on it and you got a pink bowl with strawberries and little while flowers scattered around on it (I made a bowl like this today!!)

This one is kinda broad but let's say on off-season, students have their break and you take him to nyc (this happened in character ai last year erm...I HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE APP IN MONTHSSS)

I think he'd like the city though (probably SoHo)

And you guys go to central park and watch the little league games and he's got this super stupid grin on his face 'cause that used to be him

"What're you grinning about?" you ask him as you two leaned on the fence. Parents of the little kids stood around you, cheering their little baseball players on "I dunno, but feels like I'm watching myself when I was little" "AWWW I bet little Kazuya was so cute!" You grinned as you poked his cheek "Quiet" He playfully shoved your finger away "You know, I'll tell you what, that's gonna be a little Kazuya and y/n in the future" he pointed to the little girl playing as a catcher who turned to look at her parents with a sweet sweet grin after she had caught the ball "You bitchhhhh! Stop changin' the damn subject!!" You burst out at him in embarrassment and he cackled at your red cheeks "If there's gonna be a little us than it's gonna be a little girl" you said after you calmed down "A little girl sounds nice..." Miyuki mused

Take him to a Yankees game and he'll get shock from the sheer volume and you screaming in his ear as you and the other people in the stands dance to YMCA dance after the seventh inning during the field refresh

(Make sure you bring him to a Mets game so he knows the Yankees are better)

Your chest is practically puffing with pride as the stadium sings the Star Spangled Banner before the game beings with your Yankees cap over your chest. Nothing is better than patriotism. And Miyuki knows the lyrics cause you've sung it so many times (I have an issue where I'll randomly sing it. When I graduated eighth grade, my homeroom teacher practically drilled it into our heads so it's stuck there forever)

I think he'd appreciate Japan Village in Industry City. A little slice of home in a foreign land. So make sure to take him there

You hit up all the tourist spots with him starting with The Edge (he'd be kinda freaked out by the glass floor section in the center)

"C'mon you'll be fine" you beckoned him over to the small triangle glass section of the huge balcony rising 1,131 feet from the ground "Nuh uh that does NOT look safe" he refused, a few feet away from you "You'll be fine I'll hold your hand. Plus you can take a picture and send it to Kuramochi to boast or whatever. You seriously can't beat this one" "....Fine" he slowly walked over and held your hand as you took a picture of your feet standing on the glass with the view of the city streets 1,131 feet below you

You take him to One World Trade, Empire State, Rockefeller, The MET (he'd like this one), The High Line, Grand Central (which you end up going through anyways to see the Yanks)

Take him to Brooklyn Bridge park in the evening for a picnic or to Roosevelt Island for biking and food trucks

For Godssakes bring him to the Botanical Gardens in Brooklyn while you're hitting up Dumbo and heading up the borough

Anyways

On his side, I think he'd enjoy introducing you into Japanese culture. He'd bring you to festivals and teach you what to do at shrines

He cooks Japanese food for you so you're able to adjust your palate to it

HE COOKS FOR YOU

If there's a food from home that you're missing and can't get in Japan, he'd find the recipe and cook it for you. Now you can only eat his food cause nothing else tastes as good (he secretly enjoys that)

During break he'll take you around Japan and visit all kinda of places with you during the winter up to the northren parts of Japan or Okinawa during the summer

I think that he enjoys it when you watch him practice baseball LAWRDD

You do the tiktok trend with the lipstick kisses all over his face and he refuses to wash them off until baseball practice begins

AND AND he goes with you to makeup stores and let's you test lip products on his hand

STHAPPP when he hugs you he runs his hand up and down your back and since he wears like sweatshirts n shit, his hugs are probably really comfy too nd he kisses the top of your head

Either his kisses are short and quick or slow and soft and for someone who's never been in a relationship he sure knows how to kiss

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© 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝙃𝙔𝙋𝙀𝙂𝙄𝙍𝙇 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰 | modification and translation of my works on any platforms are strictly prohibited

[htchnr]

♰ pick up ༻ SAM AXE.*ೃ˚

✮ꜜ masterlist. ✮ꜜ buy me a coffee!

summary you call Sam after a long night out at a club just wanting to chat, but he insists on picking you up. (quite literally). wordcount 1,1k

content warning drinking ⋆ disgustingly sweet fluff ⋆ they're so cute i'm gonna throw up and cry ⋆ if i missed anything, lmk!

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐇𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐑. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!

the club was full of life, the night still young as you stumbled towards the exit with your friend on your arm. " you really- " you laugh, " really don't have to walk me out! " you giggle, pushing through the door and put into the fresh air. you take a deep breath, inhaling the cool air of the night, the coolness very welcome.

she shakes her head, " none sense! 'gotta look out for each other! " she laughs, equally drunk. you wanted to call Sam for a small hello, to check in if your plans for tomorrow were still on. and, that you might be a little groggy or hungover during them. your friend insisted to guide you out and stand beside you to keep an eye on you.

you laugh, bending at the waist as the two of you burst into a fit of giggles. you pull out your phone, taking deep breaths as you try to stop laughing. you open your contacts, even in your drunk state it was easy to find his number. you click it, watching it start to ring as you lift your phone to your ear. you laugh at your friend's silly face, pushing your finger to your lips in a 'shh' motion.

" honey? " Sam's groggy voice comes through, sending sparks through your nerves.

" hey Sam! " you beam, smiling wide at his voice. " i wanted to check- " you laugh at your friend, " wanted to check if our plans for tomorrow are still on, and say hello, " you hear him groan on his end, the crack of a bed sounding clear. " oh shoot, did i wake you? "

you hear him yawn, " no no, baby, i'was awake, " his words slightly strung together with sleepiness. in a way, he almost sounds slightly drunk cause of it. " what are you doing up at this hour? "

your friend makes silly kissy faces at you, sending you into another fit of giggles. " i'm out at a club with a friend, " you manage between laughs.

you hear the bed creak more, the heavy sound of his feet hitting the floor. " do you need a ride home? " he offers, knowing him he's probably already getting dressed.

you shake your head, " jus' wanted to say hello! and that i miss you, " you smile, " i ws'gonna call an uber in a bit, "

you hear Sam yawn again, along with the distant clink of keys. " i miss you too, pumpkin. and none sense, i don't mind the drive. what club are you at? i'll be right there. "

you smile at his eagerness to do things for you, your cheeks flushing. you give him the address, watching your friend giggle and point at your face. " gosh you two are just so- uhhggg cute! "

you laugh at her words, your face getting even more red. " i'll be there in ten, think you can survive that? " his voice gentle and sweet as always.

you nod, before realising he can't see it. " mhmm! i'll be out front, " you smile, fanning your face to try and get the blushing to go down. " byee! "

he chuckles, " see you in a bit, baby. " and hangs up. you put your phone away, leaning against the cold wall of the club.

you friend leans beside you, resting her head on your shoulder. " gosh, i need to find me a man like that, " she sighs dreamily. she nudges your shoulder, " how'd you get so lucky? " she groans dramatically.

you laugh, smiling fondly as you think about Sam. " don't know, this big idiot just sorta waltzed into my life, " you shrug, you're glad your friend couldn't see the absolute hearts in your eyes right now.

the ten or so minutes flew by, spent laughing and giggling about Sam and all the sweet things he does. you spot him walking up to you two, baggy jeans and a dark brown shirt on. " hey you two, " he nods, smiling as he lays eyes on you.

you grin, pushing of the wall. " hi! " eagerly pulling him into a big hug. you stumble against his hold, his big hands holding your hips firmly to stabilise you. you loop your arms behind his neck, resting your head against his firm chest, breathing in his cologne.

Sam nods past you, eyes on your friend. " d'you need a ride too? " he offers, small smile on his lips.

she nods, " if it isn't too much of a hassle, that would be very nice, thank you. " she beams, checking if she's got everything.

Sam gently pulls away from the hug, looking you over. " you got everything? " you nod, though groaning as you set a step forward. " what's up, baby? "

you shake your head, " my feet are killing me, " you huff. " these shoes are so cute but i should've brought sneakers with me too. " you watch him let out a small breath, dark honey eyes contemplate something. you let put a yelp as one of his large hands reaches beneath your knees, the other on your lower back — hoisting you up. " Sam! " you laugh, though a small wave of nausea flows through you at the sudden change of position.

" i would've asked to carry your shoes, but there could be glass anywhere. " he grunted as he adjusted your figure, so he's covering your ass politely with a large, strong arm. " can't have you cut up your pretty feet, now can we? "

you hide your face in the crook of his neck, blushing profusely. Sam nods down the street, " had to park a bit back, car's this way, " he directs to your friend, who watches you two with a huge smile.

Sam occasionally shudders as your nose nudges against his throat, placing a few teasing kisses there. his eyes occasionally wandering to your squished breasts that are threatening to spill out of the top of your dress. the walk wasn't more than two minutes, and though he's glad your feet aren't cut up, or you aren't walking on aching feet — his back was starting to kill him.

he reaches his car, unlocking it with the fob and swinging the passenger door open. he groans, bending down to set you down on the passenger seat, a big hand sliding across your figure to click the seat belt in place. he does a once-over, before gently taking a hold of your chin and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

he leans back, moving over to open the door for your friend, who thanks him with a drunken smile. he nods, closing it behind her, then walking over to his side.

he gets in and as soon as he's started the car a large, warm hand finds purchase on your thigh, his rough thumb massaging gentle circles into the plush skin. though you do love the feeling, you move hold his hand, sliding your fingers between his as you hold his hand with both of yours. you rest your head back, staring tiredly and drunkenly out the window while your friend gives Sam the directions to her place.

the car ride is silent, besides the radio playing quiet 70s rock along with the occasional 'turn here' or 'head there' from your friend.

you've fallen asleep by the time Sam drops her off, watching to make sure she gets through her front door safely before driving off back to his place. his thumb rubs small, soft circles into the back of your hand as you still loosely hold it.

you're gentle prodded awake with the sweet stroke of his hand on your cheek and the soft press of his lips to your forehead. " c'mon, lets get you inside. " he gets out, walking over to your side to open the door. he unbuckles your seatbelt, wrapping an around around your back and snaking the other under your knees as he picks you up again, heavily groaning.

you tuck your head into the crook of his neck, sighing with a small smile. " Sam? " your voice is tired and still clearly drunk.

he glances down at you, before turning his attention back to carrying you safely to the front door. " yeah? " his voice is a little strained.

" did'you hurt your back? "

" no. " yes.

Sam fumbles with his keys, before sighing. " can you unlock the door, please? " he sounds a little out of breath.

you shake your head and smile, reaching down to pull the keys from his hand. he moves so you're in front of the lock, slotting the key in and opening the door. he pushes in, closing the door by leaning his back against it. Sam steps through his apartment, making his way to the couch where he gently sets you down with a strained groan.

he gets down on his knees, calloused hands gently holding your foot as he unbuckles your heels, taking them off one by one with care. you can't keep your eyes off him with how gorgeous he looks right now. you clear your throat, Sam's big brown eyes snapping up to yours. " Sam, honey? "

he looks like a child who knows they're about to get scolded. " yes, baby? " his fingers rubbing gentle figures into the balls of your feet.

you reach your arms out, grabby hands signalling him to get up. he does so, and you pull him down against you. he grunts as he lays down, the couch more than big enough for him to lay half beside you, the other half of him carefully covering your intoxicated figure.

he huffs as he settles against you, closing his eyes with a low hum as your fingers drag up and down his back. " lemme give you a massage, " your words are still a little slurred.

Sam shakes his head against the crook of your neck. " you need to rest. " you huff, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before sliding out from beneath his firm figure. " where are you going? "

you get up, legs wobbling a little. one of his large hands shoots out to hold the back of your thigh to somewhat stabilise you. " 'm gonna get some water, " you pause, taking his hand from your thigh and giving it a sweet squeeze. " them 'm gonna rub your back, else you'll be grumpy cause'a the pain t'morrow and we can't have that. "

Sam tiredly smiles up at you, even when you're drunk you think about the little things for him. he watches you walk off the kitchen, listening to the clink of glasses and the sound of water coming from the tap.

you're back in under two minutes, setting the glass down on the coffee table. you yawn and stretch before you lean down into the couch, your bare legs straddling the back of his as you settle down. he sighs pleasurably the moment your hands sneak beneath his shirt, gentle and smooth fingers starting to work against the hairy skin and his sore muscles.

you smile with a sparkle in your eyes as you watch the big bear of a man melt beneath you, practically purring under your fingers. even drunk, you gave the best massages he's ever had.

you firmly rub his back muscles for what feels like an eternity to him, before you slowly lay down and drape yourself over his back. you rest your head against his upper shoulders, melting into him with a tired and happy sigh.

Sam smiles, one hand coming up behind him to pat your hip. " lift up for a sec? " his voice is laced with sleep. you groan, shaking your head against him. his smile widens, " okay then, i'll just roll on top of you, "

you tiredly laugh, " don't threat'n me with a good time, handsome. " you reluctantly lift up though, Sam turning to lay on his back beneath you. his large hands pulling you down against him. you sigh happily, tucking your face into the crook of his neck and breathing in his cologne.

and that's how you fall asleep — both still in your clothes, Sam's shoes still on — but happily in each others arms. " love you, Sammy, " you mumble against him, nuzzling closer.

he smiles, " love you too, sweetheart. " he returns, seconds away from falling asleep.

[daydadahlias]

Hey Jess, what you think/headcannon each of the 5SOS guys are like drunk? We saw a bit of how they would probably behave in the Cocktail Chats videos, but I'm interested in what you think they'd be like. Mainly for fic writing purposes lol🙃

hi pookie !! so, based on what we've seen of the cuties, i will say that luke is a capital s Slutty drunk. can u explain to me why every single time we see Luke drunk he has his shirt off?? the second luke gets some tequila in him, he's turning into a stripper. a very giggly... very clingy stripper.

calum inevitably turns incredibly touchy (as we have seen from how kissy and touchy he gets when drunk lol) so I always like to think of him and luke drunk together basically just climbing all over each other lol

michael is such a fucking semi-high sleepy drunk. bro gets so chill and relaxed and i feel like all he wants to do when he drinks is take a nap lol. and have somebody to tuck him in.

and then ashton just gets delightfully sober when he's drunk which is so fascinating. like, i think it's because he knows how silly his friends get so he always has to be able to watch out for them, even when he's drunk too. he's also extra squeaky giggly which tears at me <3

speaking of, yknow what my favorite part of cocktail chats is the way that ashton just keeps feeding them drinks dfghjk idk there's something about just seeing his arm extend into the frame and give them their little umbrella drinks while the other guys are like "omg yay drinkie drink" that sends me every time

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the Russian boy//part three

warnings: swearing, alcohol use

not proof read!

lowercase intended

part one and two on my page.

part three: the pool

i let go of boris's hand and watch as he jumps in the deepest end of the pool. i make my way over to the steps leading into the pool, and go down them, making sure to stay in the shallow end. i definitely do not want to drown with two boys i only met today. and wow this water is cold as fuck. my nips are positivity hard as diamonds right now. boris swims over to me and picks me up, "let's go i told you i wouldn't let you drown.", he says carrying my to the deep end, which isn't deep for boris at all considering how tall he is. i hold on to his shoulders as he holds on right below my ass to keep me balanced on him. "no funny business, those hands better not move up.", i say giving him a half joking, half serious smile. "i wouldn't dream of it new girl", he looks at me with a grin and pulls me closer, "i'm a gentleman, remember?", he whispers in my ear. THIS FUCKING KID. woah, calm down lucy, calm down. ok he knows exactly what he's doing, so it's time for me to play his game back. "oh i can promise you, you'll definitely be dreaming of it.", i whisper in his ear, leaving his red as a tomato and at a loss for words. i guess he's not used to girls matching his energy. lucky for him, he's met his match, and he has her in his arms right now. theo, who's floating on his back with his eyes closed, begins talking to boris. "can i stay here tonight?", he slurs, "im too drunk to walk home.". boris looks and him and lets out a chuckle, " you always stay here, why you ask all the sudden?", boris asks. it's very apparent to me that theo is just as drunk as i am, which is why im not surprised he says what he says next. "i dont know, maybe you wanna be aloneeee with lucy.", he says, still floating on his back and now making kissy noises.

"shut it potter.", boris says seriously, "both of you can stay if you want, i dont mind.", boris says looking at me. i mean my mom wont be home..i guess it wouldn't hurt staying. but seriously, i just met these fuckers today, maybe i'll tease boris a little but im no slut. i'm not gonna let anything happen yet. also, it's a good thing theo notices this sexual tension too right? i mean at least im not imagining things. "i can stay," i look at boris, "there's not gonna be any," i let out exaggerated kissy noises, "tonight. im just staying cause im having fun and going home this drunk seems not very fun.", i say half truthfully. i mean maybe if i stay i can keep actually talking and bonding with boris. i want to get to know him, i don't want to rush anything. "sure new girl.", boris says nodding. theo pops up and swims towards us, "can you seriously not swim?", he says nodding towards me. i look back at him, "not at all. honestly this is scaring the shit outta me, but i'm too drunk to care.", i say which makes both boys laugh. that's the genuine truth, swimming would usually be a no go, but for some strange reason i trust these boys to not let anything happen to me. it's weird how you can meet people you instantly trust and click with. i truly hope they feel the same way about me.

my thoughts are interrupted by a small bark and scratch on the patio door. i look over to see popchyk scratching the door from inside. "fuck. we can't leave him like this, he's sad. he wants his ..how do you say? ah daddy, yes he wants his daddy. i'm coming popchyk!", boris says pointing to the dog. this fucking man did not just call himself daddy. holding back tonight is gonna be harder then expected, especially considering that fact i haven't gotten any action in months. boris carries me back to the shallow end and puts me down as he runs inside, soaking wet, and picks up popchyk. i look at theo, "are you as fucked up as i am right now?" i say probably slurring. he grabs me by my shoulders, "my friend, i'm so drunk i can barely see.", he says slurring. we both burst out in laughter and sway around holding on to eachother trying not to fall. we eventually get our footing and catch our breath..until we look at eachother again, which results in another round of hysterical laughter. this kid is so fucking funny. there's just something about him that i absolutely love. "you know lucy,", he says as we catch our breath once again, "you are like my number two best friend, you just like are cool you know?", he says pointing at me with wide eyes and slurring every word. ok this kid is plastered and i'm loving drunk theo. "RIGHT? we're like platonic soulmates theooo, we just like,", i motion to my head with my finger then to his head, "we just get eachother my dude.", i say wrapping my arm around his shoulder. ah yes, there's no friendship realer than confessing your drunken platonic love for someone you met less than 24 hours ago. we laugh again then stumble out of the pool and make our way inside. i walk into the kitchen and get myself a glass of tap water, which i immediately chug. fuck i didn't realize how thirsty i was. i go into the living room to see theo laying on the floor (absolutely and positively passed out on top of my clothes), and boris on the couch, now in boxers and a tshirt 2 sizes too big, holding popchyk and watching some movies that i think is in russian. "ah fuck he got my clothes wet.", i say nudging theo lightly with my foot. "he won't wake up, once potters sleeps, he won't wake till it is morning.", boris says with an amused expression on his face. "well shit, i'll probably just go stay at my house since i'll have to go over there to get dry clothes anyway.", i say walking to the door. boris gets up and walks in front of me, "new girl,", he looks me up and down, " you're in your bra and underwear. don't walk to your house right now, your drunk and will get cold.", he says looking at me like i'm crazy. what's the big deal? i mean i'll admit, i did forget i'm literally in my undergarments, but my house is a 10 second walk, and i was just outside and not cold at all until i hopped in the pool. it’s not like the air is cold, we’re in las Vegas for fucks sake. "i'm fine boris, i'll be okay.", i say smiling a drunken smile, but he doesn't move. "ha! is okay, i will just give you my clothes to sleep in, eh? i have extra things, come.", he says taking my hand and leading me upstairs. since he's already taking me to get clothes i don't bother arguing, i gotta say though, i'm a little excited to wear his clothes. I KNOW I KNOW ITS WEIRD OK? but come onnnnn, who wouldn't wanna wear a sexy man's clothes. you would do it too, don't lie. we walk into his room and he pulls out a huge sweater and a pair of boxers from his dresser. "here, my favorite sweater, is very comfortable. i sleep in all the time.", he says handing them  over to me. "thank you.", i say taking the clothes. "is no problem, i don't want you to go home, am having fun with you new girl.", he says with a slight smile. "i go downstairs, come down and watch movie with me when your dressed, yes?", he says going out the bedroom door and closing it behind him. i throw on the sweater and squeeze into the small boxers. the sweater is big and comfy, but the boxers are nowhere near my size. they're definitely tight, but not too uncomfortable.

i hang up my wet bra and underwear on the shower rod of the bathroom in his room and head down stairs. when i'm back in the living room boris pats the side of the small sofa that's open. i walk over, and plop on the couch. boris changed the channel while i was gone o suppose, cause now instead of the russian movie that was on earlier, there's a shitty cable cowboy movie on. no complaints though, i love shitty cable movies. i begin to watch, and boris tosses his blanket over, so it can drape around both of us. i look over to theo, who's still sound asleep on the floor, now with a fresh towel over him, which i assume boris put there as a substitute for a blanket. i guess me and boris are sleeping on the couch and sharing a blanket. nothing special i suppose, but still, it makes me happy to think about sleeping so close to him. this night is going great, but it also feels like it's just started.

authors note: sorry for a semi short chapter, wrote this in like 30 minutes and it's currently 2am. chapter four out soon!

[airyairyaucontraire]

Watching The Mandalorian chapter 22, "Guns For Hire."

According to the Disney+ blurb, this is 46 minutes and the Mandalorian visits "an opulent world." So that actually is a reasonable length for an episode. The "opulent world" part makes me think of Canto Bight and how much I've wanted a heist episode somewhere flashy like a casino - "The Prisoner" was sort of a heist, but everyone was a jerk and I want a heist where Our Friends work together - Boba and Fennec and Din, and if the fates really smile upon me, Cobb too. And there would be disguises and snappy outfits and double-crosses (that were actually a ruse to gain an opponent's trust enemy-of-my-enemy style) and daring bluffs and reversals of fortune and it would be fast-paced and fun. I love the start of Return of the Jedi because it's a heist

although that heist does not turn out so well for ol' Boba.

Anyway let's see what this is all about (I bet not that).

like I suspect this episode is going to be more about Bo-Katan being the Main Character instead of getting her own TV show like an honest person

anyway, we're in space, space is the place, you can soak in a tank and have fishy snacks poured in from a goblet, Grogu would love this

these people get to have all their alien dialogue in subtitles but still no Mandalorians speak Mando'a

still can't really get over the fact that George Lucas while presumably not drunk decided to name a race of squidly people "Mon Calamari."

Axe Woves is managing to be quite charismatic in this scene but he still has a silly name - but then it's no sillier than Saw Guerrera. How many people in this saga are named after forestry or carpentry tools?

okay I am sincerely appreciating these characters in massive head and face covering make-up/CG elements emoting their way through heartfelt dialogue about fate and love

awwww she gave him little tentacle beard kissies!

okay, so Din and Grogu are just with Bo-Katan, nobody said that was the plan, but there they are following her around because she's the Main Character now.

and okay

she is A Mandalorian

but by jove she's not The Mandalorian!

and sure maybe just being a side character is all Din's ever wanted

but it's not what I want to be watching

Grogu thinks getting snagged in a tractor beam is fun!

extravagantly evil droid design, really fine work from the Empire there

"I've never been here before, have you?" "I haven't even heard of it," said Din, in a glorious return to form.

is that FUCKING Jack Black

"I hope you like secretions"

look if Jack Black asked me if I liked secretions I would pretty much have to say yes

his beard really is a thing of glory, I'm happy to have it on my screen

(am I actually going to somewhat enjoy this episode?)

and LIZZO

Jack Black pronounces programme "progrum"

I love how Lizzo just has this projected hologram stained glass window dealie following her around

incidentally it doesn't matter if these characters are given names, this is such flagrant and blatant stunt casting that they are obviously just Jack Black and Lizzo.

oh his name is supposedly "Captain Bombardier"? that's not even a name, that's two job titles

put a bit of effort in

call him Glup Shitto

consort of Glup Lizzo

the subtitles call her "The Dutchess." With a T.

GROGU IS PURRING

GROGU IS DOING LITTLE GRUNTY PURRS

fucking - DOC BROWN

what are they DOING

it's this thing where each time I settle into thinking "Hey, this is starting to feel like a real, proper episode of The Mandalorian where they go to a place and there's a mess and they get roped into sorting it out," I get violently yoinked out of the anticipation of enjoyment by another guest star who's SO famous and idiosyncratic that there's no way for them to inhabit a minor role without being obtrusive

oh it's a roger-roger!

and a slap-chop droid!

you've got an entire planet of people none of whom like to make things or fix things?

I mean, if they'd actually followed through on the IG-11 plotline, this episode about reliance on droids would be more interesting. And you know what? I bet these Ughnaughts would have one of those memory circuits you couldn't find on Nevarro or Tatooine. And we could all be listening to the voice of Taika Waititi.

okay, another good return to form - Din's contacts, cultural competency and language skills are essential to success

it's so nice just to get to see him do what he does so well!

incidentally did you guys just leave Grogu with Lizzo?

blatantly shifty Lizzo and her equally shifty husband Jack Black?

I mean sure she was skritching his little downy head and feeding him secretions when you were there but it's weirdly trusting of you

Din. Kindly stop kicking the droids - okay, you very much asked for that. Got your bell rung? What's that, your ninety-fourth concussion now?

it looks like the set design people certainly had a good time with this space shopping mall, and it was a fun day to be a costumed extra

honestly I'm rooting for the droid to escape, he was just doing his job and Din kept kicking him in the dang leg!

like, are droids people? who hang out together in bars? did you just murder a blue-collar worker who ran away from you because you were attacking him unprovoked?

they keep the droid's "remains" in a morgue drawer and draw what looks like blood from it

oh, so she actually gave him the Darksaber back?

(some time later, I wasn't moved to give commentary but that's slightly a good thing because I wasn't INFURIATED)

Grogu has found his true niche: helping Lizzo cheat at games (I told you she was shifty)

exile to the moon is NOT A GOOD IDEA have you watched neither The Clone Wars nor My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?

Okay, I have enjoyed this episode at least 80% more than any other episode this season, and seeing that it was directed by Bryce Dallas Howard, who is amazing at this show, I understand why. I still don't think it was very well written and it suffered from some of the failures of joined-up thinking that have beset this season, but Bryce Dallas Howard can smash out an episode of The Mandalorian and no two ways about it

to quote me at the start of my post:

like I suspect this episode is going to be more about Bo-Katan being the Main Character instead of getting her own TV show like an honest person

yep

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

3-4 drink Sylvia stumbling up to a very sober Tim: I love you :)

Very sober Tim knowing damn well he can't smile without his boys never letting him forget it: you're drunk, sweetheart

Sylvia: yeah- I love you when I'm sober, y’know, I just don't say it all that much ‘cuz I don't wanna freak you out :) I love you :) a lot

Tim, deciding he can handle a little teasing when he pulls her in by the belt loops: I love you a lot too

Multiple things-

Tim is Sylvia’s designated driver <3

Tim quietly assuring her later, either when she’s still a little buzzed or back when she’s sober, that her saying I love you doesn’t freak him out too badly and he likes hearin it <3

Tim gives her a little kiss when he pulls her in and that’s what sets off the boys teasing <3 they’re making kissy noises for at least a half hour

[edd-noles]

The care book is under your drawing tablet-there’s one for Tom under his case for Susan

Tom’s also getting REALLY drunk-might want to get him some water when you get home

If Ringo is up there in age and managed to get pregnant-then it’s almost certain she’ll start talking within the week so-congrats, your cat had at least sixty years added to her lifespan, and I need to have a firm chat with Brownie about “Mate Bonds”

He essentially wed Ringo to himself-so if you see a marbled brown tabby DO NOT let him in your house unless Ringo is actively giving birth

Unless she personally asks you to let him in

-Truth

Ok thank you! I'll be sure to get it once I go home, which should be soon. Ringo's all done with her checkup and I've just been hanging out with Kim and Kat

And while I appreciate the warning I figured he was, since he was going out with Laurel and Jon. I'm good and used to taking care of him when he's drunk. Laurel will either call me or a Uber when it's time for him to go home, he'll be real touchy and kissy when he first sees me, then he'll be upset when I have to force him to drink some water and maybe have a snack, then he'll calm down and we'll cuddle, and then he'll pass out

I am so so so excited I already talk to her like constantly so it'll be really interesting for that to actually be a two sided conversation, so long as she promises not to tell anybody all the secrets I've told her

Also, if she says to let him in it's ok to do so? Even before she's having the kitties

[queerofcups]

Title: love me for the day Rating: M Word Count: 2857 Summary:  Dan and Phil have a housewarming party and Drunk and Very Flirty Dan is in attendance.

Also, there’s an instance of Dan kissing someone other than Phil w/ Phil’s implicit consent, so if that’s not a thing you’re into, totes fine! just don’t say i didn’t warn you. 

[link to Ao3]

“I’m sure you could find somewhere to sit. Someone’s face, maybe?” slips out of Dan’s mouth, unbidden. He’s aware that he’s leering at Louise, who, while very fit, he loves like a very motherly older sister. “Oh god,” Dan says, looking down at the glass of champagne in his hand accusatorily and back up at Louise, who looks amused and was definitely vlogging. “I can’t believe I just said that. Please don’t include that in your vlog. I’m going to go somewhere and die now. Thank you for coming to our new home.” Dan makes his way through the crowd filling their new apartment. It’s not nearly the squeeze it would have been in the old apartment and everyone’s been oohing and aaahing over their new decor since the housewarming party started a few hours ago.

He’s almost to the other side of the living area, scanning the space for Phil when he bumps into Caspar. When he and Phil first envisioned the homecoming party, it had been a small thing with their closest friends. Then Phil had started making noise about all the parties they’d been invited to over the years by their coworkers and how they’d never reciprocated because of the size of their flat. Dan had acquiesced and watched the guest list grow before his eyes into this weirdly well attended friends and friendly co-workers shindig. Which was why he was gently patting Caspar’s pec, a little dazed and definitely drunk.

“Dan!” Caspar says, pulling him into one of those manly, clappy straight boy hugs.

“Casp!”Dan says, smiling at Caspar. He stays within hugging distance. He’s drunk enough to be swaying on his feet a little, so he rests a hand on Capsar’s chest to steady himself. “Hi. How’s the party going for you?”

Caspar grins at him, glancing down at his hand, “Excellent, mate! I’m really glad you invited us, this is a really cool place.”

“Mm,” Dan says, nodding. “Definitely, hey, where’s Joe?”

“Ah,” Caspar says, looking around, “Not entirely sure?”

Dan looks at him. Capsar looks back, then glances down at Dan’s hand, where he’s now sort of, lightly stroking Capar’s pec.

“Dan?” Caspar asks. Dan glances at his hand, and grins at Caspar.

“You know, I know you and Joe are straight and all, but if you just need some coaching tips on how to take that to the next level, I’ve been told I’m a very good kisser—“

“Dan! Hello!” Phil says, coming out of nowhere, cutting him off. Rude. He’d turn to tell Phil he’s being rude, except Caspar’s making really hilarious confused noises and Phil is gently nudging him away with a hand on his hip.

Dan sighs and allows Phil to push him away from Caspar, squeezing Caspar’s pec a little as he goes. He’s fairly sure he hears Caspar squeak, but it gets lost in the music.

“Phil!” Dan says, turning to Phil. “I was matchmaking! There was a love connection about to happen.”

Phil’s leads him toward the weirdly angular yet comfy ottoman thing that’s become his favorite piece of furniture in the apartment after he and Dan had fought over buying it for hours. PJ is sitting on the couch across from it. Phil lets go of his hip to sit on the ottoman and Dan gingerly steps over PJ’s outstretched legs to sit on the floor next to Phil. It’s a little uncomfortable, but Dan can lean his head against Phil’s knee. The room spins around him gently. Phil drops a hand to his hair, scritching a little and Dan moans. Phil and PJ start talking again, clearly continuing a conversation about a collab idea they’ve been batting around for months. Phi tugs Dan’s hair a little, probably to get him to lift his head up, but Dan just moans again. “You doin’ alright there, Howell?” PJ asks him. Dan looks up at him, and licks his lips. “Not as alright as you could make me feel. You know you’re on me and Phil’s list, right?” “Dan,” Phil laughs and drops his hand out of Dan’s hair. “I had to save Caspar from him. Dan was trying to hook him and Joe up by seducing him?”

“Is it that point in the night already?” PJ asks lightly, reaching over to ruffle Dan’s hair. Dan tilts his head agreeably, making more pleased noises. “I’m very drunk and you’re very pretty,” Dan confirms, nodding. The room spins a little faster. He pulls away from PJ and drains the rest of his champagne and says, “’m also totally down to be part of some kind of…crazy blue eyed visionary filmmaker sandwich. We could call Chris for old time’s sake?”

“I should probably be stopping this?” Phil says above him. Dan can tell from his voice that he’s definitely laughing. “How many glasses of champagne have you had?”

He appreciates being around Phil and PJ, some of the people who’ve seen him at his drunk and sluttiest. They’re the safest people to be around right now, with his loose lips and roving eyes. Honestly, they probably should have factored Drunk and Very Flirty Dan into things when they were planning the housewarming party.  He’s suddenly very glad that they cut the guest list before they’d started talking about BBC Radio 1 people. He could just see himself hitting on Grimmy and Phil having to deal with whatever Nick’s response was.

Dan hums and tilts his head back against Phil’s knee again, looking around the room at their friends and coworkers. “Enough to hit on Louise. D’you reckon Alfie and Zooey would let me have a go? Also, are we just not talking about the thing going on between Louise and Marcus? At least, the thing that should be going on.”

“We aren’t, because chemistry doesn’t equal sexual attraction.” Phil says like he always says when Dan tries to gossip about Louise and Marcus. He plucks Dan’s glass from his hand and standing. “Do you want more or do you want a break?”

“Shots!” Dan says. Beside him, PJ cheers a little.

Phil, who tells him no all the time but is easily charmed, doesn’t mention that this isn’t really a shots type of affair. Instead, he smiles at them, and wanders away. Dan watches him go, across the living area and over to the alcohol-covered counter, near where the first versions of their plushies watch the party from atop their fridge. When he gets tired of watching Phil (tracing from his shoulders down to his ridiculous waist), he scootches around to lean against PJ’s knees.

He tilts his head to look up at PJ upside down and says, very seriously, “We should make out.”

PJ, who’s drinking the bright blue cocktail Phil insisted on them making as the official housewarming drink, finishes the sip he’s taken and makes a contemplative noise. “Fairly sure Soph ruled that out after the last time, with the fun dip?”

Dan nods and sighs. “That’s fair. It’s probably pretty hard to get all that green shit out of the carpet. Do you think Phil would let me do body shots?”

PJ throws his head back and laughs. “No, Dan, I don’t think he would.”

Dan whines a little but settles against PJ.

They sit in silence for a moment before PJ says, “Hey. This is a nice place. You guys are doing good.”

Drunk and Very Flirty Dan doesn’t do well with feelings, so he nods and bites at his nails, spits out the little flecks of glitter that get in his mouth.

“It’s probably the happiest we’ve ever been,” Dan says. Drunk and Very Flirty Dan also tends to be Blithely Honest Dan. He doesn’t really wish he could muster up this sort of obnoxious flirtatiousness in his sobriety, but he wouldn’t mind being able to chat about his feelings so casually sometimes.  

“We can tell,” PJ says, sliding down to sit next to him on the floor. “We can all tell.”

Dan bursts into his dumb, wheezy giggle. “Is that your way of telling me our fans suspect something?”

PJ smirks over at him. “You invited a bunch of youtubers to your very adult home for a housewarming party. You might as well tweet them a wedding invite. Dan?”

Dan, who’d been winking lasciviously at a bewildered Joe Sugg, turns to look at him. “Haven’t you heard? Japan was our honeymoon. We’ve been married for years now, according to them.”

“And you still haven’t gotten me a ring.” Phil says, returning. He sits on the ottoman and very carefully hands them shot glasses of something dark, and sparkly. Dan has learned better than to question it when Phil produces sparkly foods out of nowhere. Instead, he tilts his head back, bracing against the burn of alcohol. It’s sweet, and mostly smooth and warms him all the way down.

“You’re my favorite,” Dan grins at Phil, who’s finished his own shot. “You’re totally getting blown after everyone leaves.”

Phil has endured Drunk and Very Flirty Dan more than anyone else on earth, and still somehow finds a reason to blush. He ducks his head and hehehes quietly. Dan considers if they could get away with disappearing from their own party for a few minutes. He doesn’t think he has the coordination to properly blow Phil, and that last shot hasn’t even hit him yet, but he’s could go for drunk makeouts with someone. Drunk and Very Flirty Dan appreciates the press of a warm body and a warm mouth and isn’t all that vexed about the owner. Sober Dan is generally chuffed to have a partner that takes this sort of behavior in stride and gamely directs him away from anyone that might take things more seriously than a bit of kissing.

“Who else is on this list?” PJ asks beside him, throwing an arm around Dan’s shoulders and leaning against him heavily. Dan appreciates the indication that he’s not the only one a little wasted in their little trio. Then he appreciates how nice PJ’s arm feels against his.

“There’s no list.” Phil says.

“Have you been working out?” Dan asks at the same time, pressing back against PJ’s arm and doing a little shimmy.

PJ looks between the two of them, not certain who to respond to first. Dan smolders at him, pursing his lips a little. PJ laughs a little and turns to Phil.

“There’s no list?” he asks.

“No,” Phil says, sliding off the ottoman to sit on the floor with them. Dan throws his outstretched legs into Phil’s lap and tilts his head onto PJ’s shoulder. “We just sort of…talk it out.”

From this angle he can listen to both of them and watch the makeshift dancefloor that had been made out of a cleared out area of their living room. The string lights (Dan’s aesthetic insistence) turned everything dim and warm and slightly golden and most of his favorite people in the world were in this room. If he could get someone to make out with him (and maybe a slice of pizza) this would be the actual best moment of his life.

“D’you think Marcus would be up for it?” Dan asks, graciously letting Phil and PJ in on his thought process.  “He did send me that one text.”

“On a dare from Louise,” Phil points out, sipping from his own champagne. He’s mostly sober, which is annoying. If Phil was as drunk as Dan, he’d probably agree to go make in a coat closet or something. Or their bedroom, since they’re adults or whatever. Or hell, even the guest bedroom. Drunk Phil is always up for it, even if he’s no match for Dan’s whirlwind of sex.

“We have so many rooms to bang in,” Dan says, grinning at Phil. “And I’m a whirlwind of sex.”

“You’ve gotta christen them all,” PJ, a true friend, agrees. Dan pats his thigh amicably. Then he squeezes a little for good measure. With his other hand he sets his shotglass down and pets the carpet. It’s a nice, good texture. He sort of wouldn’t mind laying down on it.

“We’re not starting now,” Phil says, because he knows Dan too well.

Dan rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Of course not. We’re adults, who take care of their guests and don’t go bang in the coat closet, no matter how fun it would be. We’ll wait til they leave.”

“That’s probably not very long now,” PJ says, looking at his watch. “

Dan hums another little noise, then keeps humming, along with the music. He’s drunk, and a little tired, and maybe just having pizza and a few people over would have been a better housewarming. He rolls his head on PJ’s shoulder so he can look at Phil, who’s bopping along to the music, lost in his own world.

“We’re those losers in the corner at our own party,” Dan says, smiling at Phil. “Plus PJ.”

“We are,” Phil says, smiling back at him. “Plus PJ.”

“Not quite sure how I feel about this addendum,” PJ adds. “Oh, people are going for the coat closet. Do you want me to play good host with Phil while you sit here and be drunk.”

Dan, who’s eye closed at some point during PJ’s sentence, moans tiredly, and nods. “You’re at the top of me and Phil’s list now, tiger.”

“There is no list,” Phil says. PJ laughs and rearranges Dan to lean against the couch. Dan slits his eyes to watch them both climb to their feet and head to the door to tell people goodbye.

Dan must fall asleep for a few minutes, because when he blinks again, the apartment is empty of most people. Someone has turned on the overhead light in the kitchen, brightening the place up a bit, and Phil and PJ are at the door, seeing the last stragglers out.

“Hey,” Phil says, coming over to sit next to him on the floor, crowding in close. His wraps cool fingers around Dan’s.  “Bed?”

“Bed,” Dan says, and doesn’t move. “Is PJ coming with us? I haven’t seduced anybody yet. Drunk and Very Flirty Dan will be so disappointed.”

“Pretty sure you’re still drunk, mate.” PJ crouches down on his other side. “Still flirty?”

“I’ve definitely had this dream before,” Dan tells him. Phil laughs.

PJ grins and leans forward, pressing his mouth to Dan’s. PJ’s mouth is warm, and a little sticky from his drinks and he smells familiar, and comforting. Beside him Phil squeezes Dan’s hand. Dan sighs into the kiss, feels PJ’s mouth turn upward. Dan really, really loves kissing. They separate quietly and Dan darts forward to peck PJ’s mouth once more, mischievous. PJ’s grinning at him when he pulls back.

“Night, lads,” PJ says standing up. “Got a ladyfriend to get back to.”

Dan grins at him and waves, closes his eyes again. “Drunk and Very Flirty Dan hopes you know that this can only every be a physical thing. His heart belongs to someone else.”

“Tired and Happily Dating Someone Else PJ appreciates that,” PJ says, sounding far away.

Dan listens to the soft murmur of PJ and Phil say goodbye to each other, is pretty certain he hears the soft sound of mouths meeting, and lets himself drift on drunken exhaustion until Phil’s tugging on his hands, encouraging him to stand up.

Dan yawns again and follow Phil down the hallway to their bedroom, eyes still mostly closed. They shuffle through nighttime routines and Dan groans when he finally lays down in their bed, relieved.

“Phil,” he says in the direction of their bathroom. Phil pokes his head out of the door, continues brushing his teeth.

Dan pushes himself up. “Phil, I’m too tired to make it good. I’ll just lie here and you do what you have to do.”

Phil rolls his eyes and ducks back into the bathroom. Dan listens to him spit and rinse, fighting off sleep. His head feels heavy and a little cotton-y and he can feel the oncoming cringe if he thinks too hard about some of the things he’s said tonight.

The bed dips as Phil bounces on to it and scoots closer.

“Good night?” Phil asks.

“Only groped one person mildly inappropriately, house is sufficiently warmed and I got to kiss someone!” Dan says, and cheers weakly.

“You did,” Phil says, fondness warming his voice.

“Are we going to do it now?” Dan asks, turning to look at Phil. “Because I’m only gonna be this drunk for a few more minutes. Then, first stop, Hangover Town.”

“We’ll try in the morning,” Phil says, tugging him closer.

Dan throws an arm across Phil and presses his fingers into Phil’s skin a little, just to feel the solidness of him. Tomorrow morning, he’ll read through the mocking texts definitely waiting on him from PJ and Louise at least and maybe send a few winking emojis and pineapples to Caspar. Tonight, he’s happy to ride the soft waves of drunkenness, absorbing Phil’s warmth and tangling their limbs together.

“It was a good night,” Dan confirms, and closes his eyes.