#all i know is this man is trans and chugs respect women juice

[dessam]

Based on this post by @heroleague-incorrectquotes

This is a Kevin Levin stan account now I guess

[implodingcacti]

Hi, I worked graveyard at a hotel for 2 years.

Tonight’s my last night. I want to share some stories with you, because this job has been fucking wild.

When I interviewed for the job, my future GM asked if I was a good person (I said yes), complained about the American healthcare system for 30 minutes, and then hired me on the spot. That was my entire interview. He said he trusted me fully because my friend recommended me for the job.

This is the same friend who tried to get me to buy her cigarettes with a school ID because she had left hers at home. Our school IDs were printed on cardstock and laminated by the secretary. I told her it would not work because it looked like a shitty fake ID.

It did not work.

This surprised her.

Also the same friend who had a tan minivan, drove us to Starbucks during an off period in high school, almost crashed because she was smoking, and hit two people’s cars in the parking lot.

Love her.

The first employee I met got into an argument in front of me with her boyfriend. They fought loudly. Afterwards, she asked if I wanted a lollipop.

She got fired like a month afterwards because she took the money from the drawer. This was not the first time she had been fired for this.

I worked with a guy who I’m going to call S. S was a bald white guy who looked like a attorney who couldn’t leave his job. Or a depressed bank manager who’s wife divorced him. He was a very nice man.

I told him this one day on shift change. He thought this was fucking hilarious.

S also used to be a drug dealer. He got busted for selling drugs at this hotel years ago, went to prison, all that shit. My manager hired him after he got out. He thought this story was very funny.

We had a permanent resident named Joe. He was the nicest fucking guy. I chatted with him in the mornings when I set up breakfast. I miss him so much.

He doesn’t live at the hotel any more. This is depressing.

A man threatened to beat me up for flirting with his wife, because he saw us laughing in the lobby. I tried to tell him that I was not interested in his wife, who was 30 years older than me and also not my type. He was still angry.

I texted my manager this. He told me that if the man tried anything, we have, and I quote, “a big ass wrench” next to the safe. He gave me permission to hit the guy with it.

The wrench is, in fact, really fucking big.

A sexline operator called me once, while I was working. This was uncomfortable for me, a very ace then-19 year old. We got into an argument because she claimed I had called her.

Actually just... lots of people liked treating me like phonesex operators. Apparently people’s kinks are listening to room rates. Please do not do this to the people working front desk.

While we’re here, I got invited to a threesome once. The people who invited me? They watched me clock in to do shift change. They asked literal minutes after I clocked in. There is only one person at front desk. They asked after the other guy left.

I declined. For obvious reasons.

The other guy was S, who laughed about it when I told him the next day.

That time that they fired someone and another person left and we were short staffed for a month, so there were two days a week I’d come in at midnight, leave at 6AM, and then come in at noon for another 6 hour shift.

I hated that. Never again.

There was a raid on a hotel across the street. I watched it happen with Joe. He told me shit was wild. I agreed.

My GM would just... text me. At random times of day. To ask how many we had in house.

It was never when I was working.

He was always disappointed that I couldn’t tell him because I wasn’t working.

The time I had to crawl partially under a bed in a smoking room to help a guy get his cat. She was a good cat.

A lady told me a man was outside with a chainsaw and she’d seen him murder someone. Understandably, I was concerned, because she was shaken up and my hearing is godawful. I called the cops, who took things very seriously until she said the chainsaw man had no head in her physical description.

apparently she was on a very bad drugs trip. I learned this the next time I had to call the non-emergency number, because one of the cops from that incident showed up and told me.

A guy died in a room. Normally, you’d think this would be relayed with more urgency. I found about it when I was doing shift change with S. He told me this, and then proceeded to complain about an unrelated room and called them assholes.

The guy’s car was here for 8 months. The company he worked for wanted us to ship the car out to them. We told them they’d have to cover the shipping charge. They refused, and then S got the title to the car.

A guy once threatened to call the cops on me because I told him he couldn’t check into his room 10 hours early without paying an early check in fee. He wanted to call the cops because Expedia said it was 24 hour check in, and it was false advertisement.

He made the mistake of doing this right before I had to head out for a camp. I laughed at him, told him I’d willingly call the cops for him, and that I would love to have them come down.

A scam call once got angry with me because I wouldn’t authorize a purchase.

They pretended to call my manager. I laughed when they did it, because I could hear the phonecall.

My manager had a very particular way of speaking. He was very slow when talking. They did not take this into account.

I told him about this the next shift, of course, and he did not believe me. It was during shift change, luckily, so I did a faux phone call with another coworker, who had worked there for years. Both of them thought it was funny that I had his timing and general tone down.

The scam artists told me I was fired because my manager was, quote, “extremely disappointed in me”. I told them I was glad, because it meant I could go home early.

(My manager told me I wasn’t fired when I told him he had apparently fired me. I asked if he was still disappointed. He laughed.)

When we changed the clock-in system and I had to text our hotel manager whenever I clocked in and out.

A guy tried to tell me that I wasn’t qualified to check him into a room because women are all stupid. I asked him if he wanted to talk to the manager. He said yes, and the manager called him an idiot.

The other time someone told me I wasn’t qualified to check them in because I took too long, and I offered to let her come in and check herself in. Our servers were updating. She declined, because she didn’t work here. I told her she was just going to have to be patient.

Kicked someone out of the hotel once. He came back 30 minutes later to try and re-rent his room. I told him no. He thought I was just joking about him being kicked out.

My GM tried for like 8 months to get me to date another coworker. He made jokes about giving him a raise so he could take me out to dinner.

I do not think my GM knew I was very gay.

The coworker did not take me out to dinner.

The one drunk college student from Germany who I made friends with in the breakfast room, and his significantly less drunk friend.

they both said trans rights, i’m still crying

Drunk men are assholes. Drunk women are godsends.

One night, a lady told me my eyes were pretty, and when I had to help her to the door, she called me gorgeous and said I smelled nice.

her friends were so embarrassed

i forgot how to speak

That same night, a drunk guy said he hated his wife and that he hated me too after calling me an asshole. His wife came in after he said this. I felt bad for her.

Occasionally people would stop at the front desk on their way back from the gas station, and would come bearing gifts of usually drinks. It was always nice.

one time a guy offered me weed brownies

i declined because i was worried about

The guy who stopped at the front desk to ask where the nearest Starbucks was, because his girlfriend wanted a frappuccino, and he was gonna get her one so she could have it in bed.

He came back as I was clocking out.

His girlfriend had dumped him on his way back.

I felt really bad, because this man had peak “dumb of ass but chugs respecting women juice” energy.

Incidentally, I got a free Starbucks frap.

Someone was convinced I was colorblind because I told him that I thought his blue cup was neat.

It was a purple cup.

i did not know how to tell him i was not colorblind, i am just an idiot

Our GM moved to Texas and we didn’t see him for like a year. He was the GM of 2 other hotels. Apparently, he said he was living at all three.

Some dude came into the hotel once night. I tried talking to him. He started signing. I do not know sign, and apologized, and then grabbed a paper to write back and forth with him.

The man made me learn fingerspelling and we instead did this back and forth.

I thought nothing of this, and he came by a few times to chat with me, albeit incredibly slowly.

During shift change, he came in again. I explained to my relief that he only signed. He nodded, and then told me that he had been “healed by a grace act of God, and could now hear and talk.”

He then tried to tell me to come to church to celebrate this miracle.

He told me he was actually fine. He was just choosing to learn ASL and wanted me to participate for the “immersion of it all”, so that I might “find the lord and accept him once more into my heart”.

yes, this was in fact, some white person bullshit

Also in line with white people bullshit, the guy who said he could tell I had a strained relationship with my half-sister but a good relationship with my youngest sister, that my father would recover from the divorce, and that my engagement would be fine. He said it was because I was a Leo cusp, and then said that Kimberly was a good name for me and that I chose well.

i am not a leo. i was born in december

i have no sisters

i have never been engaged

my parents are (somehow) still married

i was wearing a nametag. angeles does not sound or look anything like kimberly

They sold the hotel last year to new owners. Nobody knew until an email got sent out that said we “probably would still have our jobs”.

I argued with my new manager about a raise. He didn’t want to give it to me. I told him he had to, because I was working minimum wage, and the minimum wage had gone up.

the AAA guy who was a real big dick when I asked him to repeat himself and joked about women being bad at jobs.

He asked me if there were any discounts. I refused to give him any, because we had none for him.

He asked if I knew if there was any discount that would make him stop asking me stupid questions. I sighed and said “No, but god I fucking wish there was.”

Tonight, a lady asked me what our beta fish’s name is. I don’t know. She decided to name him Benny, and then asked me to come up with a name. I panicked and said Soap. This was apparently the right answer, because she nodded sagely and said I chose wisely.

[draig-asec]

Sharing the thing my sister said earlier after possibly stealing liquor as to how she describes my friends things in () are my notes plus her ratings

Braxton: possibly real. possibly a figment of a hyperactive imagination. (he’s real and he’s amazing) token straight. cinnamon roll. somehow the only good cishet white guy alive. lives solely offf respect women/enby/trans/everyone but nazi’s and shitheads juice and looking like Shaggy. (scooby doo is her whole life i swear and it’s so annoying) deserves a hug and a day off. how did he become friends with someone who put “killing pedos” as their biggest dream on a school test. (feeling a bit called out and that not 100% accurate but close enogh) too good for you. 10/10

Ash: quite possibly a demon. enby rights. too pure but possibly evil. very powerful. meant for fear and love. enby lesbians have all the power right. (yes they do fear them) scary smart. how does one like math and still be likeable? Ash. witch with most power. not sure but willing to bet they work with Lilith and other demons. (true she does). could kill anyone and would be found innocent because they learned how to manipulate from the best. (that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me... i’m the best at something guys!!!) too good for you. 10/10

Jaevin: closeted bi who’s bad at being closeted because he comes out every six months. weeb. kinda creepy. def has a crush on Sebastian from black butler. has slight Obito from naruto vibes if that makes sense. (it doesn’t but thanks bells) don’t like 3/10

Jadestin: human sunshin. so pure so kind. doesn’t understand humans. too good for this world. it’s impossible to believe she’s 20 she has the heart of a five year old. (it’s true) that’s it she’s just perfect and sweet. (even more true) 10/10

Elliot: is this an attempt at actually adopting a child. he is are a literal child. he has good taste. trans rights. very huggable. 10/10. (all true and yes they are my child if I had the legal means i would 100% adopt them)

Miranda: bi pride. would kill homophobes. scary. knows too many ways to kill a man. badbutt. (please just curse child i’m begging you) deserves nice things and cute girls. 6/10

Skylar: how did he date such a nerd. trans rights. also scary. more enbies with too much power. would also kill homophobes. chugs respect women juice. too good for you. much kind. stoner witch. slight kyle vibes. drinking too many monsters isn’t a personality. 2/10

Bonus+ she described me too.

Abel: whole personality is centered around being immortal gay and stupid. enby who doesn’t deserve rights. dumb mohawk and fashion choices. tries to know everything. only knows comics fantasy obscure science history and gay. the one witch who doesn’t deserve rights. no one will ever love. looks like a fat rat. (i love how she tried to hurt me but it’s all just so true) -99,666/10

[transhitman]

JJBA Women Respecter Reviews

Parts 1 - 4 Because I Haven't Watched/Read the Rest

Jonathan - Ultimate Women Respecter. Will die for every woman. Lesbian ally. It doesn't get better than this, folks. It's all downhill from here.

Dio - All around terrible. I doubt he hates women speciffically but he certainly does not respect them.

Speedwagon - Respects women but in an outdated gentleman way. A little confused but he's got the spirit.

Zeppeli - Similar to Speedwagon except he's into MILFs.

Joseph - Respects women on the surface but is also kind of a dick. Probably would send unsolicited dick picks. Is not aware of the existence of lesbians.

Caesar - Respects women who could kick his ass. Anyone else is just kind of There.

The Pillar Men - The same as Dio but they say slurs.

Jotaro - Women Disrespecter. Horrible little man. Probably not a full out anti-feminist but believes misandry is real. Complains about SJWs on reddit. He probably becomes less rancid with age but he is a certified Bastard.

Avdol - Women Respecter Supreme. The only man that rivals Johnathan. Almost threw hands with a 17 year old (Jotaro).

Kakyoin - High Level Women Respecter. He's kinda weird so when he tries to be nice to strangers they either fall in love with him or he comes off as an absolute creep with no in between. Loves his mom. Has tried to put Polnareff's medication in Jotaro's food.

Polnareff - Has RWDD (Respect Women Deficiency Disorder) and has to medicate himself with Respect Women Juice every morning. Not ideal but he's trying.

Vanilla Ice - Literally doesn't know what a woman is.

Josuke - Women Respecter. Believes all women are queens. Chugs Respect Women Juice recreationally.

Koichi - Women Respecter. Not much to say he's just a normal person.

Okuyasu - Women Respecter Supreme. He would be higher than Avdol but he's trying too hard to look straight so sometimes he says something sexist.

Rohan - Similar to Joseph but is gay and knows what a lesbian is. Doesn't hate women but also doesn't confront misogyny. Incapable of drawing a woman's ribcage.

Tonio - Closeted trans lesbian. Should not be on this list.

Kira - Women Disrespecter. Posts gross shit on reddit. Literally had a women disrespecting (murdering) fetish and died from it. Death by women disrespect.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk feel free to expand the list.