#all i have are those little tea light candles and a couple laundry scented ones do you think that'll work?

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Mmmmm here’s an idea, why don’t I go thru and read a few of your docs and tell u how good they are? That sounds like fun

and at least you know what you’re getting into, if you want maximum summoning effect then cut the lights and sticks some candles around that mirror

anon wait. wait are you actually going read all my fics. anon don't make me appreciate my own writing I'll melt

[writinanon]

Weather!

So if you all remember I’ve mentioned a few times that I live in the Midwest, and in a shocking turn of events it’s really fucking cold tomorrow, Wednesday Jan 30th. I mean it’s January, the middle of Winter, but the weather people are all shocked that it’s gonna be cold (I understand that this is unusually cold but we’ve had periods like this previously this isn’t the first time a ‘polar vortex’ has hit) I see a whole bunch of posts about if you have to go out, if you have pets don’t let them out especially birds, and such but I haven’t seen anything about keeping your house warm without raising your heating. So I’m gonna take a stab at it and hope this helps some other people, who like me can’t afford to raise their heat too far above 68 degrees. And a few things to help keep from drying out in all that warmth.

So while you’re inside because I’m pretty certain all schools and many establishments are closed tomorrow (Both my school ISU and my place of work are closed tomorrow, hell even the local community college Heartland is closed and community colleges rarely if ever close) here’s somethings you can do to keep warm.

‘Seal’ your doors and windows. Either through a pool noodle, some towels, or some blankets any cracks in your doors or windows should be closed up. We have the pool noodle on both our front and ‘balcony’ doors because they weren’t sealed properly. With windows cover them with a plastic shower curtain if you have one or some plastic wrap to keep the head in and the cold out, you can also line them with tin foil for better effects.

Candles! If you don’t already have some candles to burn run out and get some while it’s still bearable/places are still open. Get ‘warm’ smells, things either you associate with baking or with summertime. Apple and cinnamon are the two most common scents. They’ll help to trigger your brain’s sensory memory and while the warmth from the small flames isn’t gonna do too much it’s the smells that are gonna help out.

Exercise! Put on a work out video, play Wii fitness, dance with your roommates and have a roommate party, whatever you wanna do, do it. You’ll be moving and burning calories and will be keeping you body warm through working out. Just make sure you’ve got the space for it and make sure if you’re burning the candles too that they’re in safe locations as well.

Snuggle up! Whether with roommates that you’re comfortable with or with stuffed animals or pillows, snuggle up on the couch or in bed under some nice heavy blankets in comfy jammies. Not only will the blankets help but the other body heat will help, if you are like me and don’t like to snuggle much unless you know the person very well stuffed animals make a good substitute just add some more blankets.

Use your dryer if you have one! Toss those blankets/jammies in the dryer and warm them up before putting them to use. You can also do this with your stuffed animals if you don’t have a cuddle partner. A quick burst of heat is nice and feels great.

Hot water bottle! If you can’t use your dryer (because your roommate who left for a few days put laundry inside it said she was gonna take care of it before she left and didn’t)/don’t have one get a strong water bottle, or one of those ones that are silicon/rubber if you happen to have been given one/bought one because they’re actually very useful, and fill it with hot water from the tap. Place it in the foot of your bed because toasty feet are the best, if you happen to have multiple or have made multiple because you have several 2 liters lying around, putting them up your bed is wonderful as well but always do feet first.

Bake! You’re now hungry and need food. Bake something. Cookies, rolls, meats, veggies, finish off a pasta dish as a pasta bake! Baking is great, it usually makes things pretty tender, and the oven warms up your house/apartment. There’s a wide variety of foods to bake.

Cocoa! Hot cocoa is great, hot coffee/chocolate is good, hot tea is okay, I say this because you want something to warm you up and fill you up. Hot Cocoa is made with milk and so it’ll linger a little longer and gives the best warm fuzzies in your tummy, yes even when you make it with almond milk. It’s the heavy feeling of the milk that something like water doesn’t have. That’s why coffee and chocolate are good, you can add milk/cream to them to make them heavier, and tea is okay. Not many people in the States drink their tea with milk so it’s okay. Add a pinch of cinnamon to your coffee/chocolate/cocoa for a nice warmth too.

Humidify! If you’re like me and can get a nosebleed at the drop of a hat you know winter is dry and you need moisture. I’m lucky and my parents bought me a fantastic humidifier for Christmas two years ago that doesn’t need a disposable filter, has a demineralization cartridge so I can fill it from the sink, and does both warm and cool mist. I’ll have it set to warm mist just to help ease my breathing tomorrow but you don’t have to, cool mist isn’t going to make your room colder it’s just not going to open your lungs (think about the steam in a shock it opens up the airways of your nose and lungs that’s what warm mist does for a humidifier). Now if you don’t have access to a humidifier grab the largest pot you own, fill it completely with water and then set it on the stove. Put it on low and make sure to check on it to make sure it hasn’t boiled dry. Once you’re low on water refill it and start anew. This will put water in the air through steam.

Moisturize! Grab your favorite lotion/butter and slather it on. Put on a nice extra thick layer on your feet/legs and then put on big fluffy socks and nice warm fuzzy pants. Rub a lighter layer on your upper body and then pull on your warm fuzzy sleepy shirt. Make sure to get your neck and face as well, a light layer here you don’t want to cake it on. Rub the back of your hands and make sure it’s all absorbed before you go do stuff. Reapply every couple hours to make sure you’re not drying out your skin while trying to keep warm!

Water! Hydrate! Make sure that you’re drinking water. If you can’t drink your water tepid/sink cold, fridge water is fine too. Ice water is gonna undo all your hard work so don’t stick any ice in any of your drinks. If you have to have ice water work out! Make sure you’re moving and not settled because then your body is already there (but ice water isn’t really good for you while you work out so really please don’t drink ice water at this time).

[missmorphia]

Self care for down days

Since about the age of 11, I’ve discovered many of the varieties a ‘down day’ can manifest as. So for the better part of a decade, I’ve tried to learn how to stay afloat when they come about, rather than to drown in them. And I’ve gotten pretty good at taking a little time out to recollect myself and build a strong foundation to tackle whatever shit is taking place. So whether it’s a dumping, a divorce, a death or *insert mild form of trauma here*, here’s my guide to shutting up the nasty voice in your head for a day. 

Step 1:

Acknowledge this is a DOWN DAY! You are taking a TIME OUT so this demands FULL ATTENTION! Regardless of what’s getting you down, even if it’s as small as you stubbing your toe, do not let your mind trick you into thinking you don’t deserve one. Every problem is a PROBLEM. There is no scale that dictates whether you are allowed to feel bad about something. So acknowledge that right now you can’t cope and this is something that is needed. If you had a cut in your hand would you not put a plaster on simply because someone else may have a broken leg and therefore ‘have it worse’?

Step 2: 

Delete social media off of your phone. This is a DOWN DAY and we need NO DISTRACTIONS. You don’t have to delete your accounts, just the apps for 24 hours, or however long you feel you can do it for. This helps to clear your head and stops you from scrolling through everyone else giving the appearance of having a good time. Works particularly well if your issue is friend/s.o./ex related. 

Step 3:

Let a close friend or family member or counsellor, etc. know how you are feeling. Someone you trust to let you speak as much or as little as you want to - if you don’t feel like talking and dwelling that’s OK. I know that when I get really overwhelmed by everything I can’t always cope with hashing it all out in detail. But it’s important that someone knows you are feeling like this, because you are not alone, no matter how much your mind may convince you otherwise. No one in this world is unloved.

Step 4:

This can be a scary step for some, and as someone with an eating disorder I definitely find this hard. But step 4 is to allow yourself the peace of mind to say “I can eat whatever I want today.” This does not mean that you are morally obliged to eat 24 pizzas and a full roast with a profiterole dessert (although if this is what you want GO FOR IT! You are a champion). All this means is you’re saying to that voice in your head: “Hey, take the day off. 24 hour suspension for you.” If you can make it a sabbatical or just an all-round firing even better. Send me some tips if you manage the latter!

If what’s triggered your down day is guilt over eating, I know this is especially hard to do. In fact, I’m writing this self-care post during one of those days myself. If eating is hard right now, I get it. But it’s so important that you have at least three meals today - breakfast, lunch, dinner. 

Remember:

No one ever put on 10lbs of weight from eating three meals a day. 

Having three meals is not over-eating.

2,000 calories in a day is the RECOMMENDED DAILY INTAKE for female bodies, as is 2,500 calories for male bodies. That means this is the number to SUSTAIN weight. This is not the MAXIMUM, this is not a number to stay far, far away from, this is the recommended intake for a HEALTHY life. 

1,200 calories is the recommended daily intake for a toddler.

Recently, I had a particularly difficult down day and to treat myself I bought no less than:

Some boujee rosemary crackers

Some boujee Sabra hummus (fucking delicious)

Some Sainsbury’s own sweet chilli crisps

A bar of Cadbury’s Oreo chocolate (yes the big one)

And to top it all off, I got a greek takeaway: a pita wrap with chips and vine leaves

And after all that I am still the same weight, I did not go up 3 dress sizes, and I felt the happier for it.

Step 5:

Do not drink. 

As a coping mechanism in the past, I thought a great way to *treat* myself was to buy a bottle of wine and drink it all that night. Sounds good right? WRONG! If you are already in a vulnerable frame of mind, alcohol only exacerbates the problem. It only feels good when you feel good. It is a depressant after all and it will only make you feel worse. This will also continue into the morning when you’ll have a fat hangover and the aforementioned depressant element will still be weighing on you.

Remember a down day is a chance to clear your head. You want to be waking up tomorrow feeling like you’ve taken a relaxing break from the crapness life has to offer, ready to face it again. You do not want to feel like someone has slammed a brick on your forehead during the course of the night.

Step 6:

Get outside. If it’s good weather, try going for a wander, or if you are unable, sit in the garden, or open a window. If it’s bad weather, go to your door and just breathe some fresh air. It takes five minutes, it is good for the soul and stops you from getting cabin fever. This is the simplest but probably one of the more effective steps to feeling better on this list. 

Step 7:

A hard step, so if you feel unable this is OK. Tidy your room. Cluttered space has such a poor effect on the mind and adds unnecessary stress to why you’re feeling this way. If you really cannot get the motivation to do it, try to break it down into tasks. Grab the clothes from your floor and shove them into your laundry basket, or hide them in your wardrobe/chest of drawers to give the appearance of an organised space! Move a couple of things on your desk to clear it a little. Or simply just make your bed. Even if you can’t tackle all of it, these little things can and WILL make a difference, I promise.

Step 8:

Light some candles! Candles, particularly scented ones, have such a calming effect on the mind. So get on out there with that mood lighting. Personally, I love anything cinnamon scented right now during the Autumn months (I know, how original) - also it just reminds me of home and Halloween and Christmas, which are all very exciting things to look forward to.

Step 9:

Get clean! Have a nice warm shower or bath and throw as many unnecessary products onto yourself as possible. Bath bombs are not only allowed but are ENCOURAGED. Put on some music and take your mind away from the shit. I know sometimes having a shower or bath can take a lot of motivation which is hard, but trust me you will feel the better for it. You will feel warm, your muscles will be relaxed, you’ll smell nice, and you can cosy up in a nice big dressing gown and fluffy socks after.

Step 10: 

Whatever you are doing today, keep it simple. Make today’s task to have a walk, to stay home, to read a book, anything. But do not make today a day to do all your homework, all your errands. All of that comes after mental health. 

Step 11:

Get warm! Get cosy! Put on some pyjamas, grab a blanket, make some tea. Warmth is always good. Unless you’re in 40c heat. I'm talking from a British person’s experience here.

Step 12:

Following on from step 9, watch a movie! I like to honour Halloween with good old horror film classics like Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Nightmare on Elm Street, or the aptly named Halloween. However, if this is something that triggers your anxiety, try something Studio Ghibli like Spirited Away or Howl’s Moving Castle. Comedies work well too, and I particularly like scrolling through YouTube watching SNL skits. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something that makes you feel good - do not - I repeat - DO NOT - watch The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

Step 13:

Get a full night’s sleep. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to get an early night, but judge by whatever time you have to get up tomorrow so that you can get at least 8 hours. Preferably 9, because anxiety exhausts your body with all that adrenaline pumping around. If you have the option, give yourself a lie in.

Step 14:

It’s OK to cry. It detoxes all that crap inside and gets it outside, and it can be very therapeutic. Just don’t let it take over your entire day.

Step 15:

You are going to be fine. You are going to be better than fine. Think about how far you have come. You should know by now that these feelings are temporary. No matter the issue, we find a way to adapt and to overcome. Trust me. Ask for help when you need it, because there is always someone who will listen. Like I said before, no one is unloved. 

I hope that some of these steps can help people. They have definitely saved me when I’ve gotten overwhelmed. I think I included everything, but if I remember other tips, who knows maybe I’ll do a part 2.

Much love xxx