#all i could think about when i saw that gap panel was roger laughing

[melljam]

he laughed.

[firefly-in-darkness]

Epiphany.

Characters: Y/N & Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner (mentioned).

Prompt: “How much of that did you hear” - shown in bold.

Summary: Things begin to change when you share a secret with Natasha.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Pining, general foolishness, fluff

Beta: The always lovely, Stacey - @princessmisery666​ // all mistakes are my own.

A/N: This is for @morsmordre-writes​ 1k Writing Challenge - words kinda just tumbled out in a hot mess and I made some sense of them, I think... hope you enjoy it anyways!

Firefly’s Library & Masterlist

How you ended up in this position, you would never know but here you were, being interrogated by one of the world’s deadliest assassins. You watched Natasha Romanoff, her face was neutral, but you knew she was an expert at hiding her emotions.

Your hands gripped onto the table, “I’m not going to say anything else on the matter.”

Natasha’s face lit up as her laugh sang through the kitchen, “I’ll make you a coffee?”

Bribery, really?! You scoffed, eyes squinting at the assassin, you wouldn’t let her break you. But, coffee… She has the quality stuff too. 

You rolled your eyes and returned to your breakfast, “Fine. Coffee first...”

   Natasha sat opposite you; leg curled under the other as she pushed the mug across. You greedily accepted, cupping it with both hands and, with eyes closed, inhaling the aroma of your favourite drink. Perfect.

“So?” Natasha raised her eyebrow and smirked.

You placed the mug down, your finger tracing the rim of it, “Since I joined the Avengers.”

“That’s three years ago Y/N!” Natasha raised her arms in disbelief, her coffee almost spilling over, “Why haven’t you done anything about it?”

You stood up, taking your cereal bowl and rinsing it in the sink, “Because of who he is.”

Natasha’s body turned, following your movement, “That doesn’t matter to him and you know that.”

You dried the bowl and threw the towel on the side before approaching her, “I can’t just walk up to him and go ‘I’ve fancied you since we met on the 15th of November 2017.’”

“Why not?” Nat eyed you as she sipped her drink.

“Because… I’m me and he’s, well, he’s Captain America.” You drained the coffee, ignoring the burn, before pointing at your friend. “This is to go nowhere, and we’ll never talk about it again.”

   Natasha watched you leave the room and spoke once you were out of sight, “You shouldn’t listen in on other people’s conversations.”

Steve walked around the corner, his cheeks stained pink and his hand rubbing the back of his neck before dropping into the chair you had previously occupied.

“So how much of that did you hear and what are you going to do about it?” Nat raised her brow at him as a small smile twitched at his lips.

Since you had told Natasha about your not-so-little crush on Steve, you couldn’t help but wonder if she had spilt the beans about the conversation you had. He was everywhere; sitting next to you in the briefing room, setting you up in a team with him and Bucky on missions, and his gym schedule had synced with yours. You knew you could trust Nat but your mind began spiralling with worry for being outed and worse, rejected.

It also didn’t help that Fury had requested for Steve to complete your hand to hand combat. When Natasha updated you on that, you had let out a terrifying growl and stormed out of the gym. As you stormed down the glass-panelled corridor, you saw Nat put her arm out to stop Steve from following you.

Yeah, he knows. 

  You threw yourself onto the bed, face down, and upon hearing footsteps, you bolted up and drew your Glock 17 in the direction of the bathroom. Out stepped Bucky, in just a towel.

“What are you doing in my room?” Your hand covered your eyes.

“Erm, it’s my room doll.” Bucky chuckled.

You opened your eyes and peered through the gaps in your fingers, it was definitely Bucky’s room.  “Sorry Buck,” You groaned and hauled yourself off the bed.

“S’all good, you okay?” He perched at the end of the bed, running his fingers through his wet hair.

“No, yes, I mean, no. Urgh.” You opened his bedroom door, “I’m okay, just gotta get out of my head.”

Bucky smirked, “You’re not the only one. If you ever wanna talk, I’ll be there. Just don’t point a gun at me and knock first.”

You walked out the door chuckling and collided into Steve, “Oh my.”

He held your arms and his brow furrowed, “Y/N- what- erm, sorry.”

“Steve, I-” You couldn’t face him right now and rushed past him to your own room, the correct one this time.

Heat radiated between your bodies; your breaths caught in your throat as you gasped for air. Your ponytail in disarray and sweat gliding across your skin as arms tangled around each other’s waists, necks. Legs locked around one another, hips grinding. With a groan, you were thrown onto your back. 

Nat straddled your waist, pinning your arms above your head. “Have you spoken to Steve?” 

She tilted her head as you tried to escape her grip, ignoring her question. “Y/N, you’re getting sloppy and you need to train with him or just get laid. Steve is optional for the latter.”

You groaned and rolled your hips, Nat flopping to the side with a smirk on her face. You rolled back and starfished on the workout mat. 

Nat raised up on her side, leaning her cheek on her palm, her smile softening as she reached over to turn your face to her, “Fury won’t be impressed if you haven’t completed the combat hours with Steve. You can get through it and if you can’t I’m here if you want to talk.”

A silent conversation was held between you, and with a nod, you knew what you had to do. 

  You sprung up from the floor and looked over to the punch bags. True to schedule, Steve was sat on a bench, wrapping his hands. And for once he was alone and you seized the opportunity.

“Steve I-” You dropped to the floor to kneel beside him.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Steve’s face was filled with concern.

“I need to get laid. NO! Oh my god, no.” You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. “Nat’s got into my head, ignore me.”

You waved him off, unable to look at him again, instead opting for a scuff mark on the otherwise immaculate floor. Steve’s face was flushed but he continued paying attention to wrapping his hands.

“I don’t follow sweetheart?” Steve sat beside you.

“Well, Fury thinks I need to improve my hand to hand combat, suggesting you were the one to train me.” You shrugged, fiddling with your laces, trying not to think of the way he called you sweetheart. You turned to face him, “Only if you want to?”

“Of course, I’m all yours.” His hand gripped your shoulder before patting and stood up. “Thursday, at nine-thirty?”

He offered you a hand, but you pulled yourself off the ground without his help, knowing that if you felt your skin on his, you’d probably combust. “Sounds good to me.”

“And the other part?” He laughed.

Your eyes went wide, mouth agape and before you could say anything, Nat’s voice travelled across from where you had left her, “She doesn’t seem up for dating just anyone, but she does need to get laid.”

“Thanks for sharing that with the world, Nat.” You shook your head and walked towards her, feeling your back burning from Steve’s gaze.

“You’re welcome, best of seven?” She pursed her lips at you.

You walked into the kitchen, refilling the popcorn bowl. You could tell it was movie night by the empty tubs of ice cream and bags of chips scattered across the counter, and amongst the Avengers sitting on the sofa or bean bags, wrapped in blankets or snuggled up to someone. 

As always, you had a bean bag to yourself but when you returned, Nat had stolen your spot, leaving a space between Steve and Clint. You nearly threw the caramel sauce at her but restrained and passed it to Wanda, making sure to give Nat a little kick to her feet with your eyes squinting at her.

The popcorn rested in between your crossed legs, absentmindedly eating as you were too engrossed in the film. As the tension and music increased, your body tensed, waiting for the jump scare that you knew would be coming soon. And nothing… you relaxed back into the cushions, sighing at the release before a loud thud shook the walls as Bucky burst through the door.

The almost empty bowl of popcorn landed on the floor and you grabbed at the hand resting in Steve’s lap. The clatter of the bowl and Wanda’s exclamation of being showered in popcorn had everyone looking in your direction and laughing.

Bucky chuckled and plonked down in his spot on the floor, “Oh Y/N, you should have seen your face!”

“Whatever Buck.” You muttered.

You felt warmth blossoming from your hand and realised that you were still holding Steve’s hand, or rather he was holding yours. Steve’s eyes and attention were on the film, yet the caress of his thumb against the back of your hand gave you an inkling into his awareness of the situation. Your cheeks heated and the air felt thick in your throat, you jumped out of your seat and sprinted out of the room, not hearing Bucky shout his apology.

From the edge of the swimming pool, you caught a glimpse of Steve with Sharon Carter walking towards the changing rooms. Your heart pounded against your chest, aching at the way they held each other’s gaze and the way Steve’s face lit up as they laughed.

“He doesn’t like her like that if that’s what you’re wondering.” Nat pulled her hair into a braid and sank down into the water.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You slid down, the water sliding over your skin protectively, “they’d make a cute couple.”

“Cut the crap Y/N,” Nat stated and took off to the other side of the pool.

You stared after her in shock, not realising she’d done a lap when you finally registered her words, “It’s not going to happen, Nat, the more I think about it, the harder it will be to just be friends with him.”

“Just be friends with who?” Steve’s voice carried across the water from behind you.

Turning around, you saw Steve duck under the water and up in front of you. His hair flattened, water cascading down his face and torso. The sight alone was enough to spark arousal. You pinched your thigh under the water, composing yourself as he wiped a hand down his face.

Nat glided over, “Y/N met someone, but she thinks he only wants to be friends.”

“Oh.” Steve looked at his hands snaking through the water, your concentration lost to them and the rippling water.

“Well, if you ask him out, then he’d be an idiot to say no.” Sharon added as she lowered her immaculately toned and curvaceous body onto the edge and dangled her feet into the pool, “Isn’t that right Steve?”

You looked back at Steve who was still entranced by the movement of water over his fingers, “Steve?”

“Yeah, if you like him, go for it.”

Steve’s smile didn’t reach his eyes and the tension in the pool began to rise, all you wanted to do was to reach out to him. To ask if everything was okay, to see where his thoughts were and whether, just maybe, he didn’t like the idea of you dating someone else.

“What about the charity gala in a couple of weeks?” Sharon suggested, “Only if you feel like bringing him to meet this crazy bunch.”

You laughed and shook your head, glancing back to Steve “We shall see. Enough about my dating life, I need to swim.”

  Thoughts and feelings became clearer with each dive and turn in the water, as you dropped to its lowest depth and paced from one side to the other. You could feel the earlier tension disappear with each stroke against the surface, losing yourself in the motion of the water surrounding you. Resurfacing once more, you saw Nat leaving with Sharon, Steve sitting at the edge of the pool, waving you over.

You hooked onto the edge, legs treading the water, “Yes Captain?”

Steve smiled, “Would-you-like-to-go-to-the-gala-with-me?”

“Excuse me?” You whispered.

His eyes scrunched closed and he rubbed his neck, “Wou-would you like to go to the gala with me?”

“We are already going to the gala together Steve.”

“I mean as my date.”

You couldn’t look at him, eyes searching the water for the words or a way to escape. You had always wanted him to ask you, had always wondered if he had felt the same way, yet, now that his words were floating around the pool, uncertainty had crept in and taken hold.

“Are you doing this because of what happened earlier? I don’t need your pity, Steve.” You climbed out of the water and grabbed your towel from the bench.

Steve followed, “No, Y/N, of course not.”

You raised your eyebrow, “Then Nat told you about my crush then?”

“Wh-what? I don’t know anything about that.” Steve’s cheeks flushed and his eye twitched.

“You’re a poor liar Rogers.” You stalked to the changing rooms, leaving a very confused Steve behind.

You scanned the ballroom, looking for Natasha and found her cosying up to Bruce Banner at the bar. Of course, smiling you wandered toward them. As you crossed the room, the harmony of orchestral tones and hushed conversations filled your senses, blissfully unaware of the super soldier watching your every move from the opposite side.

Bruce greeted you before leaving you alone with Nat who handed you a glass of champagne, you tentatively sipped the bubbly drink and adjusted the neckline of your navy dress. 

Nat grabbed your hand, “Stop fiddling, you look great.”

You looked down at yourself, the navy floor-length gown had a plunging neckline and Nat had already supplied more than enough tape to keep you secure but you were worried that it wouldn’t be long before you flashed someone. You took another sip and scanned the room, hoping to spot Steve, he always looked heartbreakingly handsome in a tuxedo.

“He’s in the courtyard,” Nat nodded towards the floor to ceiling stained glass doors.

You spluttered around the drink and frowned at her.

“Go and speak to him, he’s driving us mad.” 

“Driving us mad? Why?” You were confused and looked back towards the garden, spotting the familiar silhouette leaning against the railings.

“Sam. Bucky. Even Tony is fed up with you and Steve pining for each other.” Nat waved around the room and sipped her martini, watching your reaction.

“We are not pining for each other. He’s not interested in me.” You placed your clutch bag on the bar and sat next to her.

“Y/N, for an Avenger, you’re being really dumb, and we have Wilson and Barnes on our team.” Nat scoffed, “Think about it, each moment with Steve, really think about it and then tell me that Steve isn’t pining for you.”

With Nat’s words in your head, thoughts began to spiral; when he saw you storm out the gym, maybe he wasn’t embarrassed for you, but he cared. And then he saw you leaving Bucky’s room, there was a scowl on his face - he was jealous! Butterflies began to fill your tummy; the warmth of him holding your hand and not pulling away, the way his tender touch filled you with happiness. Your eyes widened as you thought of the moment Steve asked you to be his date to the gala and the way you had shut him down.

“Oh shit!” You exclaimed, jumping up from your seat, “Thank you, Nat.”

You pressed an airy kiss to her cheek so not to smudge your lipstick and darted through the huddle of guests to reach Steve. It was time, you were ready to confess your feelings to him, you were finally ready to make that jump. 

  A smile stretched across your face, and you opened the door and glided down the stone steps that were flanked with exquisite blooms. Everything seemed brighter, more brilliant since the moment you realised that Steve, surely, felt the same way.

The air was knocked out of your lungs as you reached the bottom step and saw Sharon sat beside Steve at the edge of the fountain, water glittering behind them. They turned around to see you, a small smile on Sharon’s lips and the surprise in Steve’s eyes at your arrival. You inhaled the air, refilling your lungs as you walked towards them.

“Hi, I- erm, just wanted some fresh air.” you lied through your teeth, wincing at how your voice did not sound at all certain of the words falling from your lips, “Some time away from it all.”

“We can go if you like?” Sharon gestured back to the party.

“No! Honestly, it’s okay. I’m probably going to leave soon anyway.” You gave them a small smile and sat the opposite side, letting the sound of the water take over your mind and help reel in your emotions.

“Steve?” You heard Sharon’s voice further away.

“I’ll be just a minute,” Steve replied, a lot closer to you now.

  You didn’t hear Sharon’s response and you weren’t even aware if she had left or not. Looking to where Steve stood, hands in his pockets, head tilted to the side, waiting for your response. With only the courage to give him a small smile, he undid his jacket and sat beside you. 

Now that he was so close, you couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the sandalwood cologne and the way he teased his bottom lip with his teeth. Get a grip, you chastised and focused on the contents of your bag, looking for something that wasn’t in there.

“Y/N look at me,” Steve spoke softly, pulling your attention to him in an instant, a gentle smile on his lips. “Are we okay? When you walked out here, your whole demeanour changed. Have I offended you in some way?”

“God, no, Steve, I’m sorry,” You turned to face him, unconsciously reaching for his hands and holding them tightly, dropping your head and whispering, “I-I’ve, well, it’s been a difficult couple of months.”

“You can talk to me. I know I’m Captain America, but I am also Steve Rogers”. His fingertips softly lifted your chin to look at him, “and I’m your friend. At least I thought I was.”

“You are Steve, that’s the problem. I see you as more than a friend and that’s why I’ve been so awkward with you lately.” Your cheeks flushed with your confession. “I’m sorry I don’t want to make things awkward between us but I can’t keep avoiding it anymore.” You rambled, “I still want to be friends with you, but if you want to keep your distance then I-”

Steve’s lips pressed to yours, silencing your words. His palm cupped your cheek and the other hand pulled at your waist, bringing you closer to him, your train of thought was completely lost to his touch. 

You kissed Steve back, wrapping your arms around his neck before pulling away to catch your breath. Your heart raced and soared with the intimacy; his hand stroking up and down your ribs, a kiss to the tip of your nose, your foreheads resting against one another. 

“No more distance, please.”

At the sound of Steve’s cracked words, you pulled back to look at him, cupping his cheeks in your hands, “Never again. Sorry, it took so long.”

“We’re here now.” Steve kissed your forehead and stood up, offering his arm, “Would you like to join me for a dance?”

With a huge grin, you joined him and linked your arms together, “I thought you’d never ask.”