#all are real fits that i own btw i'm fashionable like that

[teddybeartoji]

this is yall's favourite narrator??? 🤨🤨🤨 boo! what a loser!

+ bro thinks a couple of bandages make him dazai😒😒😒

everybody go and make ur own one hehehhe

[humanmorph]

PALISADE 28.crazy good this week etc

New radio person for the intro...! This comes at a good moment. I still miss Baldwin Home like. That very first PALISADE intro is genuinely so hard to beat... but this feels good. I'm once again thinking about Austin writing these... The style used for Black Screens intros obviously shines through (she's his protégé) but she does have her own voice already (way more rhyming? I mean, I'd have to doublecheck HIS intros, it's literally just a feeling). Just the tone used and intonation already does a lot. Austin is so good at this fr. I'm still curious how he even approaches that. Also the "watch me unloose 80 Ls on these next lines" I knewwww that's 80 Ls for real as soon as Parti said illogical. I wonder if he wrote that bit first trying to see how many Ls he could fit in there & then finetuned it to get to a good number? I guess that's just how I would do it.

(who knows if we'll ever get a description for Parti. we never did for Black. maybe if she shows up in a conflict turn somehow? so im just fuckin around for now... i haven't sold myself on the clothes. i'm just not a fashion guy. but i do like the braids)

Oh & new guy alert part 2!!! New Keith character! And he has a funny hat. Not even funny as in goofy it just makes me laugh a bit because my dad and maybe every 5th 70+ y/o man I see has a hat like that. Love the sequin poncho.

(btw I am almost certain Keith has posted a picture of that teapot on Cohost before... He posts about tea sometimes so there's at least a chance. I mean the description of the coloring he gives is actually pretty good IMO, you can work with that, but I as an artist I like to have a visual reference. EDIT: someone just asked him. thank you keith and also rosecrest)

I have the. I got Armor Astir & a lot of the playbooks other people made in a bundle a while back and I'm real torn if I should just look at the Investigator because I'm really curious. But. I also love to be surprised. So I probably won't, but it's good to know I COULD, if I wanted to. Anyways, I was pretty sure it'd be another B-Plot character too, just because it makes sense. Brnine COULD go alone on a B-Plot, I guess, but it's more fun with 2 groups to jump between, surely. Though this means the Eclectic-Brnine dynamic is crucial! I hope they can meet up soon... But yeah I just really am gonna miss Phrygian backing them up and cheering and clapping and asking questions. They were so fun together... A great team :' (

ok so I wrote everything else about Eclectic down yesterday & then noted down "vibes?" as break between paragraphs because all I had at that point was the description & I wanted to get back to this. And ooohhh my god the vibes are fucking immaculate right off the bat I'm having a hard time to not Already be obsessed with this guy he's SO funny conceptually and it KEPT getting better... Truly delighted with this new type of guy (& Keith is doing a voice!). And I fucking love the hooks. Truly so great to me. The thought of these getting loosened OR deepened is already really really good. "Leap says"..... oh it's SO funny I keep laughing to myself

And I'm VERY excited it's a delegate like genuinely so happy. I was mourning the loss of a branched onscreen (okay.I still am) but this does make it worth it. Ever since they got introduced basically I so badly wanted to know anything more about them, but especially what Austin mentioned in the episode itself: the delegates relationships to the divines they are made from & of course the divines themselves (who are alive!!! Apparently that was already written in a dossier way back when, but I rarely read those). That has me sooo excited.

Oh and the like... I only thought about this just now but the connection there to Thisbe's new project is. That's gotta be something! "The divine who's being held captive somewhere on this planet, and has been tortured for millennia" hearing a message of... That this can end & rest is possible and it's SO CLOSE? But does that just make it worse... Ohhhhh. Yeah this rules. What a great idea.

That project generally is really... god, I love Thisbe so much. I love how Janine talks about her and what she thinks and why she does what she does. Thisbe's relationship to work and being a tool and of use is so interesting to put here, with the divines wanting to rest. (And Janine saying something like... Thisbe thinks of herself in relation to divines how Mow is to her? Kind of?) And saying it seems so solitary a project... every divine should know about it. Every divine deserves the right to rest. But it's also a call to action of sorts when she talks about like... "shouldn't you want to protect this?" I think her "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over." hook could be in conservation here too... Also I'm just looking forward for Thisbe to Broadcast again. It was like, one of her things in PARTIZAN. I really liked her & Cori working on this together with the. Experience they just had behind them. Sylvi & Janine reading the hooks for each others characters kind of sheepishly was soooo funny "I forgot how bitchy this was!". That's good stuff to me. (as an aside: god, Thisbe has always had good as hell hooks/beliefs/whatever else. Remember "Operant Broun lies to me because they believe I am a person."? Banger. ) I also love that she thought of this/about this at the rib(?) of Barricade. Barricade as an axiom who had this close (& good, protective) relationship with another axiom...

btw now that Leap is NOT coming back I do miss him a bit. Mostly out of principle like I am So happy we have Eclectic but Leap is my guy.... shoutout to him... being a bitch bastard pirate out there in space... + shoutout to Figure A too always : ) (speaking of, on the Gathering Information Extra bit from today he talked about if he had played Leap, picking a class that also had like, a crew, and I'm mostly just really curious who that would've been. I would love for Keith to make up some funny guys for Leap to order around. I wonder if Eclectic or an Eclectic type would've been on that?)

(Also Leap investigating Motion. Ok. To ME it's at least partly bc this was so important to Millie. And he has reason to be concerned generally he fought Motion too but. That's MILLIE'S rival! And it doesn't even have to be at the front of his mind when he does this. Maybe it isn't. But it's real & it's something to remember her by through actual action. Because he's not the sentimental type.Do you get me.?)

Brnine talk show. This was sooo good. After they joked about it in PAL25 too. I recognized the hosts name, but wasn't quite sure from where until I read the dossier - of course he's that guy from the podcast. God. I have got to relisten to that sometime... I remember Ali on one of the recent Gathering Information ep (the one w/ Austin on, I think) mentioning a conversation that was like. stressful to do. and then also to listen to? (since she has to for production/editing) and I figured it would be another Gucci-type talk but ooohh my god. This was sooo. EDIT: ACTUALLY what if it wasn't even. What if it's about to be this talk with Rye edit: GALLICA i cant believe noone called me on this. mixing my elects up. rye is the one gur killed (mvp). Austin was sounding a bit ominous about it at the end of this episode! HUGE shoutouts to Ali again she is just absolutely killing it this season for real... And I honestly feel like overall Brnine was, considering the situation, doing very well. Genuinely. You're feverish and hollowblooded and have this fucking. Guy needling you & asking the stupidest questions... & like. "You made Kalmeria. They'd never let you rot in jail." of courseeee they want Brnine working for them. They're so GOOD at what they do. They messed with the parts of A Fucking Divine. . I just had a scary thought and it involved Mustard Red. But. Surely not. Nooo. I'm shaking my head. However Arbitrage? An Arbitrage deal (like they tried to make them take before) would work just perfectly for this, wouldn't it...

some other stuff:

When Austin mentioned Grand Mag in that vision Cori had I thought something like 'man. sucks to be him : (' but like. In a genuine way. "I can't stop it from hurting people a little"........... Hah oh wow I just thought of this but I am so excited for people who haven't listened to TM to meet him now. He's not even my favourite he just makes me crazy in a way almost no other character does? Like there's something so WRONG with him. And there's things wrong with a lot of FatT characters but it's like... Well. Grand Magnificent.

I love the thought of them watching Brnines interview at the next movie night (POOR BRNINE.) but I also want to know what Eclectic would pick for movie night. Oh and Partial too. Though he may not be staying I would still really love to know. Partial coming on board for the mission has me intrigued generally.

Oh and Gur talking! Even if just a little. I still feel so bad for them. "I believe in whispers in ears"... and they have reason to now. Figure is a person trying their best to do good & make changes, which is what Gur wants. I just wish they weren't a specter haunting someone elses body & what even happens when Figure rolls a 10+. Is Gur still there and Figure just stops seeing him? oohh it hurts a bit.you can't do this to him you can't (related: I extremely forgot about the other specters and ghosts and ghouls and whatnot that Figure can also see. It's not just my friend Gur Sevraq. Looking forward to hear more about that & how it affects Figure so much as to roll with disadvantage!)

Love to learn just a little more about devotion. I really need to just relisten to that again & think about it a bit harder.

At one point Austin says "Still flanked by guards, you are" and it caught me off guard & made me wheeze. He didn't even do that on purpose . I get him I do this way too often(realize I forgot to say part of a sentence and pack it at the end)

[faebriel]

Super Niki au my absolute beloved.. the more information I get the more crazy I get

(hi sorry this sat in the inbox for like two months anon for some reason i was hoping something more substantial would appear out of thin air. it didn't btw.) regardless of that! fuck yeah anon i'm with you on that

i think a superhero niki story would have to have a real focus on the mundane. like the nitty gritty details of "how do you conceal your identity from people in your superhero costume?" "how do you fit patrols into your week? you can't possibly do them every day." all that! again i think this comes back to me being really attached to the 'everyman' side of c!niki it makes me want to imbue that feeling into everything i write with her. in this au i think she does work at a bakery (good for her) but when the shit starts to hit the fan she disengages from her job, stops taking on the extra duties she usually does at work, stops caring, eventually stops showing up. etc. this is probably related to how she ends up crashing with fundy and hbomb after The Puffychu Divorce (superniki edition)

here are a few other miscellaneous thoughts i've been having:

i've been having more of a think about emerald duo in this au, and i think i know how i picture them being. so phil is wilbur's dad, techno is phil's friend, techno and wilbur define their relationship in vastly different ways, etc etc the standard. oh but they're both supervillains. not for any particular reason they kind of liked mucking around causing mayhem first and then came up with an ideology later. anyway phil's retired and techno Would Like to be retired but he's still looped into the job due to Shenanigans (blood god related mb?). wilbur is fully aware of this and goes to him to be like 🥺 help i need ideas when he decides to go supervillain mode

oh! and wilbur's alter ego name is chekhov ^-^

and so the syndicate in this au is......................... a book club. yes for real

okay look i was thinking about what to do with the syndicate and i didn't really want to have them end up as a Bad Ass Villain Posse because i think niki needs to retire or at least be a superperson part time after everything that happens. so instead, she ends up meeting phil and techno and they help her ease into super semi-retirement ^-^ and ofc phil and techno appreciate having another friend who Gets It around. they are literally just like a book club and a mild support group in this au in a very silly way and i like it

i've spoken a bit about fundy and hbomb in this au... yeah niki lives with them after breaking up with puffy. not 100% sure where jack fits in. maybe he's another low ish level vigilante running around and tries to ally with niki? i can't imagine any allegiances she makes in that mental state (without the history she and jack had as l'manbergians in canon) would last very long. maybe she sees a bit of herself in him. they both call each other out for being emotionally immature idiots and then go and do the exact same thing themself. hypocrites

oh and i think i've mentioned niki making her own costume before!! i imagine as a fire based superhero she buys PPE (like from a tradie joint) and modifies it to be 1. functional and 2. fashionable. this does in fact mean that hi-vis yellow + orange are her colours in this au....

and below the cut is a treat: a snippet i wrote of a scene where after a big fight, wilbur finds himself patching up his wounds in the same safety stash as this city's very own friendly neighbourhood superhero (who wants to beat his ass)......

“Why do you hate me?”

The stubborn rasp in his voice surprises even him. As for the woman on the other side of the room, her shoulders draw tight - like a wild animal arching its back, a show of anger. The question, then – should Wilbur interpret such a motion as defensiveness, or as a threat? “What makes you say that?” she asks. Her voice runs high with the question – a quiet sound, like a flute's soft alto, though it rasps slightly through the sound of a voice changer. Idly, Wilbur wonders whether it is worth asking where she got it. Or how she fashioned it, perhaps. God knows he needs one. Chekhov might manage perfectly fine in the midst of faceless reporters and supervillains – the proper kind – who haven't seen the light of city streets in years, but if Wilbur were to cross paths with someone he knew as himself (god forbid, someone like Tommy) his voice would give him away quick as anything.  (His heart aches, briefly, when he thinks of his brother.) Part of him tries to unpick what her voice would sound like without it. It’s difficult not to fixate on these small things – perhaps because the bigger things provide him with so little in comparison. Her voice is quiet, a little difficult to pick the sounds apart around the staticky rumble of the voice changer, but far from timid. There’s a stubborn timbre to it. (Something in it is familiar. But that thought is patently ridiculous, and Wilbur is impatient, and so it is dismissed.)

[scene continues]

"Am I," Wilbur pauses, wets his lips – it almost feels as if the fire is still flickering beneath his skin, energising and scorching all at once. "Am I that horrible? Is there something – do you see something so inherently terrible in me that you just have to strike it down? Is that it?" Her powder-keg silence sparks, ignites, her scowl a torn-open slash even beneath the planes of her mask, embroiled in sudden fury. "Don't flatter yourself - "  "Ah, and there it is!" To her credit, she doesn't stagger back as he lights up – if anything, her affect is unimpressed. "Show us the blaze, firebug! What – what drives you? What lights your fuse?" "Do you even know what you are?" she retorts. Oh, she's caught on the hook, now. "You know what you are?" What is Wilbur expecting? Proud, arrogant perhaps – delusional wouldn't be anything new, or any of the crueler words from that stock. Wouldn't be the first time he'd been called some variety of son of a bitch bastard, either. Who is he, to this spectre of flame? He's asking honestly, though he doubts she believes in his integrity. "You're a liar," she continues, words stubborn and fierce and almost unwieldy. "You – you are so selfish, and so cruel – you take, and you take and you take and you don't think for a second of the people you're taking from. You don't think anything of them. You're a liar," and when she repeats these words, they sound like smoke – "and you know what? I hate liars. I hate them." The words sink into him like stones. How does she know? he asks himself. How does she know? He doesn't ask her that. Knowing his patience, he'd be lucky for an answer, anyway - instead he just suggests, "you speak like you're familiar on the subject, then?" If it's even possible, her scowl drives itself deeper into her face - like tyre tracks driven into mud, an ugly slash of drawn brows and what he can only assume is teeth bared behind that voice changer of hers. She looks at him like he isn't worth a single thing on this earth. "Yeah, well," she spits. "I've had my fair share, with bastards like you."

[quill-n]

I think Tsu is actually the most unhinged hero. Everyone sees him as this prim and proper hero who takes his image very seriously, and he IS, but he’s also just so CHAOTIC.

Seriously the man was in full nude during a fight In vigilantes because he had to use his own hero costume. And he wasn’t even EMBARRASSED. He has absolutely no shame, and I love him for it

No fr, he's genuinely one of the strangest characters I've ever encountered because every time I learn something new about him, he gets weirder

and I ADORE him for it

I think I'll actually go insane if I don't write it all down, so that's going below the cut

All this information is canon, take that how you will

Let's start with the fighting in the nude thing since you already mentioned it— He was totally naked that scene, he used up his entire costume (which makes sense) but he still actively chose to leave the part covering his face. Not only does he have no shame, he has priorities.

His denim puns... was that something he always did, or did he come up with it to stay on brand??

The fact that he's always adjusting his hair. I would be too, if I also chose to rock that weird side sweep

This one's a little funky, but there's something about the way that he stands— Idk, it just sets off something in my brain (affectionate)

Yeah

I don't think I even need to mention his neck

His proportions in general????

He has pockets on the back of his. collar? jollar?? They're on the back of his head is my point and they're like the ass pockets of pants and just WHAT DOES HE USE THEM FOR??

(My personal headcanon is that's where he keeps his comb)

The fact that he has an S+ rank in fashion sense, but the way he canonically dresses is... yeah

He just looks so strange (affectionate)

(Ik it's not actually that out of place, but there's something about the four buttons on the pants and the suspenders/scarf (bandana??) combo and the. the bowling shoes. It just throws me off a bit. I feel like he can do better /lh)

SPEAKING OF HIS CLOTHES, we've seen at LEAST three or four different iterations of the same stupid costume. The changes are always so unnoticeable and it drives me a little bit insane

THE FACE BELT.

His taste in interior decor is... on brand

Wow I wonder what his favorite color is (sarcastic, affectionate)

(His home isn't actually that bad imo, but the office.) (There's more scenes of the office interior somewhere out there but they won't fit on this post, apologies.)

(The thread spool table. I can't tell if it's genius or insane.)

He was the president of a crafts club at a school that doesn't allow hero students to join clubs (anymore?) and now he's one of the top heroes of the country and I think that says a lot about him

He won the Best Jeanist award eight years in a row, which for a while SEVERELY confused me because did he name himself after the award, or was the award named after him? Because one of those is a little weird and the other one seems just a little unfair.

(This is how I learned that the Best Jeanist award is a REAL THING in Japan so he named himself after the award and that sent me reeling for a while)

The BJ belt buckle.

This image:

This image:

His hands are bigger than his face, which means that the fact that he's been hospitalized multiple times makes PERFECT sense

(my friend found a whole Stanford article written in the most hilarious way about the hand thing, and it's haunted me ever since) (I'd need to ask for the article again if anyone's curious but it's an... interesting read)

edit: I LIED I LIED THE ARTICLE IS SATIRE IT'S NOT REAL IT'S NOT REAL THE HAND THING (probably) ISN'T TRUE (it's still a hilarious read though so I'm still linking it)

(I'm going to pretend that it's real just because it is absolutely hysterical to me. Sir Nighteye and All Might also have hands bigger than their faces btw. For the record. Which is why I think it's awfully funny.)

Anyways

There's also this from Vigilantes, and I'm not even sure what to make of it

It talks about how he's always so serious even when the situation is........ ridiculous

He's so eccentric I love him

Also that specific image gives fish want me, women fear me vibes /j

He drives the fucking Batmobile except it can shoot out metal wires

(I've never read any DC comics; if the actual Batmobile can also shoot out metal wires, please forgive my oversight)

The fact that he JUMPED OUT OF A PLANE WITHOUT A PARACHUTE and STILL landed on his feet?? gracefully? on a cable???? With not a single hair out of place?????

ALSO the fact that he keeps on having such close encounters with death (he lost a lung, the whole Hawks and Dabi situation...) and yet he's. not dead. yet. somehow. Maybe he has multiple lives.

Is he just a cat?????

New conspiracy theory just dropped /j

Moral of the story is: Best Jeanist is, in fact, unhinged (and we love him for it)

[gojoest]

ai, so thanks for letting me share. honestly, i have been feeling very ugly. although im not interested in guys much, I still feel weird about not getting attention from attractive guys sometimes. Im weird right. And not getting the pretty privilege. It is so real that no one can deny it. Idk makeup. Sometimes, I don't care about my looks, but then I meet with reality being shoved in my face. my sense of dressing is quite old-fashioned. I do not like showing skin, and I feel ethnic wears fit me better. But people look down on me for that. They assume I'm poor and from rural. Not to brag, but ethnic wear costs a shit ton, and I did my schooling in a difficult board. I got professional help but none worked btw. sorry if this is all over the place.

i am sorry you feel this way :( and no, you’re not weird! i think we all feel like this sometimes, there are times when i don’t like myself either and have a very negative image of myself in my head. especially when i compare myself to others all i see is my flaws. this, combined with the very questionable beauty standards that reign in our generation right now, i think, makes all of us struggle sometimes

beauty comes from within but it is a human thing to be affected when met with outside pressure, or when we’re forced to carry ourselves in certain “standardized” ways in order to be accepted. or especially when others look down on us for whatever reason. it impacts us and how we view ourselves, we’re not made out of stone and it’s really hard not to pay mind to that. but i want you to know that this is on them, not on you. i don’t know why we are so bothered by people who aren’t nice obviously, it must have something to do with the way they perceive the parts about ourselves that we feel insecure about

but fuck them honestly. i think ethnic wear is beautiful, i am always fascinated by it and the culture behind it. i think being old-fashioned is beautiful. i think knowing what suits you best is beautiful. if you feel good in certain type of clothes, if that’s what makes you most comfortable in your own skin then you wear that! i think the right people will never judge you based on how you look or dress or your status. and i am really sorry that people are so shitty and their actions weigh on you and not on them :( 🤍🫂

[acewithapaintbrush]

Okay, first, I need to say the latest chapter of "A Place for Crows" is amazing! Second, how do you think the ROTMNT family would get along with the Madrigals?

Ah thank you so much ❤️🦋

I think they would all be a little bit weirded out by each other, the Madrigals more so of course since the turtles are already used to more mystic stuff than just themselves. But they'd get over it quickly.

Mikey and Donatello would be obsessed with Casita. Mikey of course cause it's fun to play around, slide down the stairs together with Camilo and Mirabel and Antonio and stuff. Donatello cause he wants to know how it all works or rather how he can replicate it with his tech. His smart lair kinda backfired but he never stopped dreaming of trying again and succeeding. Maybe Casita's 'functions' can give him some inspiration.

Also, Donnie would be so dismissive of Mirabel's sheepish explanation of "I don't have a gift"

"Scoff!" he would say. "Who needs gifts if you have a big brain and science! I know tech is not quite a thing here yet but let me show you the beautiful world of physics and Newtons three laws of motion"

The Madrigals are all like "awwwww" while the turtles just go "Oh shit".

The Madrigals find it cute until Mirabel gets a gleam in her eyes and almost breaks Camilo's nose with a trap she invented for when he enters her room without asking.

("Needs some adjusting" Donnie mutters while his big brother chews him out)

(Camilo forgives her very quickly when her next invention, a hot air balloon, fulfills his dream of flying)

For Leo I'm gonna indulge all my headcanons: he is the teams medic and so he would be all over Julieta and her cooking. He can't make magic food but some pointers for delicious chicken soup are very appreciated. But he is still a teenager and hanging around an adult all the time is so not his vibe (no matter how motherly she is and how warm and fuzzy her attention makes him feel inside) so I also imagine him spending lots of time with all the kids but especially Dolores. The gossip that girl can tell him! Hell yeah! And he can Portal the two of them right to the gossip so they can see it first hand, hehe.

Raph is a no brainer. He takes one look at Luisa and sees a kindred spirit. They both drink tea and lament over little siblings and their antics and even more over their own strength and how hard it is to be careful all the time. I think both of them will greatly benefit from each other and from giving each other tips. They will become attached at the hip.

April hears how Isabela changed her appearance and is still looking for her true self and goes full fashion and life style coach on her. April knows a thing or two about trying to be normal and fit in only to realize that the only thing you need to be is yourself. Isa is just fascinated with this confident girl who takes no shit and embraces her own self. She wants that too.

I don't have a real reason for this except that I really want to see Casey and Bruno just sitting a bit outside of the chaos and relaxing with some nice arts and crafts. They are both happy that they are back with family but it can all get a little bit overwhelming at times so it's nice to have someone who understands and has no problem just sitting side by side in silence and enjoy their families laughter and joy until the batteries are refilled and they are ready to rejoin the madness.

Alma doesn't know what to make of this little rat man (who btw fascinates and freaks Bruno out a little) but when they get to finally talking (being the family heads that they are) they realize that they have a lot in common. Splinter knows how it is to be overwhelmed by a legacy that was thrust onto you and that you didn't really want. How you'd rather have your beloved mother/husband back and how you feel that you can't let them down but go about it in all the wrong ways, almost alienating your family in the process instead of holding them close. The crushing weight of it all and how it makes you lose sight of what is important.

Splinter knows a thing or two about that and realizing that gives Alma some peace. They often sit side by side and watch their families, thankful for the second chance they were given.

[tuulikannel]

Random Despair Time thoughts

Mainly just notes for myself, I doubt there’s any overly shocking insights in this XD Spoilers ahead...

Firstly, the remaining secrets. I’m pretty sure David lied about Xander’s. (It actually feels pretty obvious, tbh?) What he claimed to be Xander’s secret is most likely Teruko’s… keeping in mind how the game started. He might have done that simply because saying in the middle of the trial that Teruko is the reason behind the killing game… well, it sure would have made a mess of everything. Xander’s real secret probably is the one Min had, about the dead family (there’s the Visiting Graves extra too which very strongly points in that direction). (Now, does David know that that Min had Xander’s secret? Otherwise it’d be a bit risky to claim he had Xander's secret, cause someone else might have the real one.)

Anyway, as for David’s secret… I’m relatively sure it’s the manipulation one. It fits a bit too well… :/ Could be wrong, of course.

As for the other ones, the “harm yourself for fun” thing sure makes one think of Veronika… ^^;;

The murderer… could be Levi. He’s shown he’s got moments when his temper flares. But no remorse, huh? I wonder.

…and would Hu be the poisoner? That’d… be something. But somehow, I don’t find it too unbelievable. This might be about some big music competition, and it might not even be any serious poisoning. Some laxatives would be enough to make sure you’re not on the stage competing.

Oh, I almost forgot the 3 suicide attempts one! Would that be Min, then? Again… I could sort of see it… tho she definitely wasn’t someone wanting to die at the end of ch.1. And thinking about her bonus episode… she had this goal all her life, to be able to become the Ultimate Student. Would she have tried to throw it all away, three times? Though who knows? I mean, it must have been really tough for her, and maybe it got too much, at times? Maybe she thought she’d not be able to do it?

Hmm. Or then I should switch Hu and Min? Maybe there were some study competitions Min was desperate to win? I’m not sure if the suicides really fit Hu, though……. Or then, switching Veronika and Min? Maybe Veronika was the “hopeless child,” and Min didn’t get so focused on becoming the Ultimate Student for her family but instead in order to stop herself from harming herself?

Wait, Veronika had the suicide motive, right? Then it shouldn't be hers, if no one got their own. On the other hand, this is Veronika we're talking about… maybe she lied about that, and she did get her own motive. Maybe that's why she wasn't telling whose it is? That… sounds like something she would do. Besides, you'd think someone ends up with their own motive, if they're distributed randomly. Okay… I might be guessing that that's actually Veronika's secret, and then Min's is the "harming yourself" one?

Okay, so, I’ve no idea. XD Here’s some other random things. But first, I'm gonna put this here so it's easier to find it if I want to take another look at it…

Ok, the other things. Firstly, the MonoTV. Are there at least two people controlling it? First MonoTV gave Teruko new clothes, and a bit later asked her if she has new clothes cause she “looks a bit different” or something like that. Either the computer has some missing memory, or then there are several people involved who might not know all the details of what the other(s) do. And one of them is apparently into fashion (and one definitely not so, barely noticing that Teruko has changed clothes.) (Which I love, btw. Characters actually not wearing the same clothes every single day? Wow. ^^)

Secondly, Xander. Did he pull a Rantaro and somehow leave himself a message about killing Teruko? Does he have some kind of a DID condition or something such? I mean, that thing he said, that he needs to trust himself… sounded quite peculiar. Though he also said, why did you tell me to kill her... So which is it? Someone else, or he himself, who told him to do that? That simple note, “kill Teruko Tawaki” doesn’t quite sound enough to make him do it… but… I wonder, what if it was in his things, written in his handwriting? Well, I’ve no clue, but I’m quite curious about this, and I bet I’m not alone here. XD

Hmm… what else? That redhaired girl who looks like Xander that Teruko remembered? Is she the unnamed classmate in the bonus episodes? But she sure looks a lot like Xander, too much that I could think that it would be a coincidence. But still, if Xander’s family is dead… hmm. I even had the utterly weird idea at one point that what if Xander is trans XD (But then that girl couldn’t have been with him in the train. If it was her, that is.)

…I feel like I had something else in mind too, but… I can’t remember what it was. Oh well. I guess that’s enough for tonight.

[demonfuck]

depression taking a weird shape for me this winter

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i'm trying to do what i want while i'm still alive to do it. it's sort of an apathetic reason to live and i'm never deeply motivated to take real good care of myself. if something's gonna kill me, it can. it's whatever

i love storytelling as much as i do. i sort of enjoy studying every aspect of story. what makes it compelling, what keeps you listening, what makes it fun, what makes it worth your time

stories aren't real, i think. the story my parents told by naming me. the story of soulmates, the rules of romantic and sexual attraction, the idea that you're destined to an opposite gender partner to produce offspring with. that shit was fake. the story of nationality, the story of family, the story of god

it all happens, it all literally happens and people act and people believe and impact the world, reality, with those actions. but i don't believe the story, now

like, the story my parents tell by naming me. that my body is labelled by this set of sounds, shapes and letters, written down on a very important piece of paper and put in all sorts of systems and it comes at you from so many angles that it feels MORE than real. it feels ancient and forever

i won't go into detail but i feel the same way about being an American and also a human. listen i will go into a little detail: human is a made up word that we made up to describe what we are. guess who has the power to adjust that definition, or to determine that i do not fit within it? that's right, anybody. everybody. idk this is a pill that is easier or harder to swallow depending on the steps you took to realize you're not human. yes, you are literally the species you are. whether that's dogboy or catgirl or robot or crab or your OC or my OC. we believe and communicate and love and respect , maybe at first just on the basis of love and encouragement. but i'm a scientist and i just want to get it on the record that while it may take Less Cool People a few more decades or centuries to realize this ONLY AFTER body modding makes the distinction more physically obvious, the people who identity as non-human are already what they say they are.

not that you HAVE to physically transition to become non-human, btw, the trans girl doesn't ever have to "physically transition" because girls can have dicks and testosterone just like my dog friends can have skin and speak human and use a computer

(also the other thing being: you can physically remove every part of your body and replace it with something else and still be human. obviously. just wanted to make it more obvious by saying it)

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i am beyond exhausted by a sort of... endless pursuit of quality. i don't mean i'm exhausted by my own pursuit for quality, i'm exhausted by the concept. shiny drawing, pretty music, good fashion, fuck that shit. fuck everything that was ever good or bad. i'm playing. i'm just playing. sometimes that play is enhanced by a pursuit for excellence, improvement, even competition is fun, obviously, obviously it's fun. i guess i'm tired of fun

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going forward i might like to realize that stories and what's real aren't mutually exclusive. i just... spent so long uprooting every hook that Big Storytelling got into my body, and tending to the wounds it leaves for months and years. all the weird shit my parents believed about gender and race and the world and the individuals living on it. idk, i watched barber westchester last month and jonni phillips interview about the danger of stories last week, you got me

i'm constantly art blocked by this unresolved contradiction in my heart. that stories are fake and also the only place i seem to thrive. that my abilities have no use in the real world, because my abilities pertain to stories, and stories are fake. am i good at something?

i'm not taking good care of myself. the physical labor of my job is killing me. just having to walk to work isn't good for me, at least not in the winter. i'm struggling to pick examples to give because it's not just one or two things that will be the end of me, it's everything. everything might be what gets me in the end, it's everything i'm apathetic to. i'm apathetic to my ending. it will come when it comes, and i can't say honestly that i tried very hard with the life i was given. i tried to have fun anyway

i'm not like.. disappointed in myself or anything. i'm an animal on a big rock, let me sip from a stream and lay in some grass and i'll have done everything i was supposed to with my life and then some.

i want to believe that i can do more than that, and that if i did it would matter. i'm not personally capable of like, stopping The Organizations That Exist from doing the evil things they do. obviously i'm not capable of that on my own, they have had time and money and power to prepare and sniff out and snuff out truly revolutionary activity for generations. i feel quite fucked? maybe community organizing stands a chance, we're capable of more together than we are on our own. i think the next years of my life should be focused on that aspect of things

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it feels like, probably, based on how i've existed and acted for the last few years, i don't believe the story of friendship. my brain struggles with this, because i'm supposed to respond when people talk to me, and i respond pleasantly if possible. and i sort the memory into a pile of things that don't matter and can be forgotten, because while it was a bit of a scary experience, i made it thru alright and can safely forget the stressful memory behind me. but the people i talk to remember me and consider me their friend. i don't know what to do about this. it happens a lot. i'm sorry if you know me, but i'm not too sorry, because you get to enjoy the luxury of not being me

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so long as things are developing, internally, i find new things to try. and i get better at things i've practiced. that's fun. that generates interest. i'll go to work tomorrow and try to succeed at the metrics they measure me by there, and when i'm not at work i'll try to find the faults in my methods and beliefs that keep me from existing as vibrantly as i'd prefer. it will be really amazing if those efforts go somewhere and i can have new conversations that have impactful consequences. however far words can go, at least.

but i'm depressed. i'd like to spare a moment to consider the fact that i am depressed. at the moment, for the last month or so, this spiral of depression has left me without anti depressants, without estrogen, without phone service, and several factors leave me desiring unemployment, i want to let go of things that require effort that i hate. i don't care, lose my job, lose my house. the worst possible thing that can happen is death, because death is boring. if i fuck everything up and have to struggle to survive, at least that would be stimulating. instead i work and spend my free time pondering "does revolution demand socialization? do i have to get over it and work with others towards goals?"

i consider giving up and struggling, and even dying could seem preferable to struggling when the struggling gets bad enough

before this year i wanted to live like Henry Darger. just write piles, pages upon pages of stories, filling up my room, every corner of my house, consuming all the data on my google drive. then i could die and maybe someone would find my art after that, and maybe i could be allowed to dream that someone WOULD find my art someday

right now i don't know. what i felt then was that my work doesn't matter in the present. what i feel now is maybe it doesn't matter ever. i had my fun, exploring aspects of art and storytelling. i wrote a comic, a game, a book, sang some albums, scribbled drafts for other things too

i feel like whatever i have practiced, i haven't figured out how to enjoy life. i never took much interest in taking care of myself, and while i'm interested in the idea of taking care of others, i don't know how to. i provide some access to myself hoping that my jokes and ideas and conversation can help in ways. but now i'm suffering deeply from this depression. i find myself looking for ways to make any of this easier on myself. that i have to put in some effort to make it easier. i'm always so on my fucking own with this, because i have no family. so when i hit rock bottom my only option is to crash and burn and wait for the fire to go out and wait until i have enough energy to get up again.

i'm heading for a crash. it's nice to think that i'll be a virtuous person if i survive this. do my good intentions make me worthy of needing help? i hope i didn't structure this in a way that was pleasant or compelling to read. how has the quality of my suicidal vent posts changed over the years?

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i'm fortunate to be loved. i love with specificity, intensity, and an extremely open mind. the love i receive is not "undeserved", per se. it just feels like the love i give is ineffectual. it lacks quality. i'm still practicing. i hope i'm okay tomorrow. i can't imagine sleeping tonight but i'm sure i'll manage.

it's nice to believe no one will read this, it's nice to believe someone will read this. it's nice to think i could die tonight. i could. everytime i "make" something for the past couple months, i wonder a lot if i won't die before finishing it. it leaves me finishing each piece with a sense of "at least i got this out there before i died". but then i'm still alive a day later, a week later, a month later, living with the inconsequence of my actions

okay, i don't have much else to say tonight. or i'm just running out of steam. i always have more to say. especially when i'm out of weed. i write a lot more on social media when i'm sober. it's stimulating. i hope that doesn't change too much of what i've said. internet; i use you, i love you, goodnight

[femsolid]

Can you recommend any accounts or resources for someone who wants to sort of "reset" her brain's expectations to include hair on women's legs, no make-up, women dressing in ways that honor the occasion as well as their own bodies? (Like whatever a healthy, non-performative woman would wear to a wedding, for example?) I have never had what anyone would call any sense of fashion or style, and frankly friends and family are excited when I refresh my t-shirt supply. But I would like to figure out clothes that I can rely on for special occasions that aren't propping up these bizarre expectations of women.

I have a body image category on my blog with lots of posts about letting go of shaving, make-up and general feminine discomfort and also a gnc tag, I find butch lesbians to be very inspirational. Personally I stick to a rule regarding all this: don't do anything that a man doesn't feel obliged to do. This works in most situations. I got rid of all uncomfortable clothing, all things tight, revealing, that put me on display. I rarely shop but when I do I go through both the female section and the male section. Comfort is my primary focus (fun is my second one), it has to be something I can move in, bend over, raise my arms, walk without feeling any pain, something that fits with my wardrobe so I don't have to waste time picking an outfit every day and I avoid clothes that show my breasts or the shape of my butt. When buying a shirt from the woman's section you can buy a size bigger than your real size. I avoid "skinny" jeans and all that crap that makes me feel naked. Just look at what men wear really. It's always based on comfort and practicality.

I stopped shaving and wearing make-up from one day to the next. Much to my surprise, the world didn't end. It's been 8 years now that I think of it! Because I'm gender non conforming my body hair doesn't clash with artificial femininity so people don't really pay attention to it. I haven't been harassed about it the way I had been in the past when I was trying to be feminine. I've been thinking of making a blog collecting imagery of unaltered women actually. I agree with you that it's important to be exposed to it, to create a counter culture if you wish. It has certainly worked on me to the point that I now look at women with make up or shaved legs and it all seems really strange and absurd to me.

We did a fun little thread where we all posted pictures of our unshaved legs once btw :) I hope this can help you feel more comfortable with yourself too.

Anyway in terms of more formal gender non conforming outfits I would again advise you to look at what men are doing and not doing. A nice shirt and an elegant jacket with flat shoes usually suffice.

[seravph]

Hi, I didn't really know who to reach out for this question, but do you have any tips on how to find your own unique fashion style? I'm not really looking to hop on popular clothing trends on social media e.g. eboy/girl or cottagecore, so I'm not exactly sure where to start! I come to consult you because I've seen some of your posts and you look very well versed in fashion and you seem to know your own personal style. My wardrobe is very outdated and I would like to update it to reflect the truest expression of myself. Thank you 😊 You don't have to answer this if you don't feel like doing so btw 😅

EEEE more fashion asks i love these thank you!!!! warning this got a lil (very) long so its under the cut :^)

so first and foremost the most important part about curating your own style is to learn more about your body and what flatters/doesnt flatter it. it's learning some basic fashion 'rules' pertaining to proportions, cuts, etc. there are plenty of resources on this if you dont know where to start (kibbe body test, video, video) but keep in mind this step has nothing to do with your weight!!!! i could talk wayyy more about this but at the end of the day, some clothing is just more flattering for specific body shapes - that doesnt mean you cant wear something that isnt perfectly flattering, but knowing your body and knowing what flatters it will make you understand your own style and help guide the pieces you buy. fashion 'rules' arent necessarily meant to be followed, but just understood so that 'breaking' them is a conscious choice. (it also really helped with my insecurities???? like this step is basically recognizing that its not your body thats unflattering, its the clothing, if that makes sense???)

also remember that every 'style' works for every body type. i.e if you want to be a 60s vibe but youre too curvy for shift dresses, there are plenty of clothes in a similar style that would look great on you <3 basically, if you dont like the way a piece looks on you, you can still achieve the same vibe with a different article of clothing thats more flattering. but also umm.... you can just wear the unflattering thing if you want LOL if it makes you happy... then it becomes your own controlled decision <3 live love laugh follow your heart

okay. now that you have that out of the way. there are a million ways to develop a sense of style, and no particular order in which i recommend them. what i love doing is creating pinterest boards for the spring/summer or fall/winter seasons and just filling them with pieces i would wear in a perfect world. i dont mean like cottagecore aesthetic boards, just boards full of runway looks and clothing pngs that i like. i also love making little outfits for characters which can influence my own style. everyone thinks of their style differently; i think of my own outfits as little vignettes with narratives behind them, but other people are more concerned with just wearing things they think are pretty, other people view it as an expression of art or their identity, and other people just want to feel comfortable!!! its all up to you and what youre drawn to!!

one thing that tan france mentioned once was to go online window shopping by going onto the website for a brand you like (regardless of whether its affordable or realistic!) and just adding things to your cart that youre interested in. dont worry about how expensive they are or anything, and when youre done, remove all the items you like the least. and then keep reviewing and removing until you have just a handful of really nice items you really like, and keep doing this with other brands until you can identify common threads between the pieces you like. you dont have to buy them!! in fact maybe its better if you dont!!! and the websites dont have to be like zara or h&m ... go on balmain or chanel if you want, play pretend and have fun!!

re: the last bullet point, i think a big turn off for people in terms of fashion is the idea that you need to wear something palatable and 'appropriate.' its like looking at a runway and thinking "its nice, but i would never wear that in real life." but honestly????? in a perfect world i would be wearing full gowns to the supermarket!!!! if your ideal style is imaginative but unattainable, your style in practice will be a microcosm of it. basically... dream big... dont be afraid to 'overdress' if its what you like!! one of the best pieces of advice i ever got was from my aunt, who offered to by me a plastic tiara. i asked her when i was ever going to wear it irl, and she just looked at me and said "??? you can wear it whenever you want to!!" so true!!! wear a tutu to mcdonalds. wear a bedazzled tux to prom. who cares

accessories, nail polish, hair, jewelry, perfume and makeup goes a long way in developing style. i dont wear a ton of makeup, but just putting some color on my cheeks achieves a kind of sunkissed lovestruck vibe that i strive for. i paint my nails red because i think its chic or bright colors so they contrast with a toned down outfit. even wearing no accessories is an accessory in itself. accessorizing (or specifically not accessorizing) is like adding texture to an outfit imo

anything that advises you about 'absolutely necessary essentials everyone needs' is entirely wrong. there is no one size fits all; i.e everyone says you need one good pair of denim jeans, but i havent worn jeans in two years!!! an essential for ME is a pair of neutral wool shorts, but an essential for another person could be a thick knit sweater or for another person, a flannel. the idea that everyone needs a 'little black dress' or a 'basic white t shirt' is preposterous. YOUR essentials depend entirely on YOUR style. a pair of denim jeans is useless if you hate wearing jeans!!!!

as for my personal style, im mostly influenced by movies, books, songs, characters, feelings, colors, high fashion, and costumes. ultimately, you should worry less about what you want to be and worry more about what you already like. every piece i have kind of plays into some narrative ive constructed, or otherwise theyre all special to me :) if you want to update your wardrobe, dont feel the need to over consume fast fashion (or any fashion for that matter) to do so. if you take it slow and buy pieces you really love, every item will have a story and you'll begin to develop a more stable internal style and they'll last longer :)

let me know if you have questions or want me to talk more about any of this because i really love answering these kinds of questions!!!!!! especially the body type thing because thats such an important but long winded thing i couldnt really fit it all LOL

some more videos + resources about style and fashion i think are interesting:

deep dive into kibbe body types

pinterest aesthetics, fatphobia, and white washing

lies about clothes to unlearn in your twenties

studio ghibli: how clothing shapes identity

breakfast at tiffanys style analysis: the reinvention of onself with fashion

will the millennial aesthetic ever end?

go viral, post #spon, get canceled: how social media transformed fashion in the 2010s

analyzing the "is it a cute outfit or is she just skinny?" meme

[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on Season 4 (re)watch...)

Long time no see, huh? I'm back from my own personal hiatus! Let's get smurfed y'all!

Dean's fluffy robe is literally the first character that appeared on screen I'm so happy!

Is junkfood for breakfast and waking up your brood pretending that you're Hannibal Lecter this show's idea of good parenting??? Does anybody have kids on this show???

I seriously can't wrap my head over the fact that they couldn't bother to give Rio fake scars but they consistently went on with the blackeye. It's just...

The way Beth and Rio are exasperating and exasperated with each other is objectively hilarious and stinks of offscreen fucking tbh.

Oh wait, Kenny's alive and doing games but he's just... no longer living in Detroit anymore????

Wait wait wait, hold on. The Paper Porcupine is within range???? While after biking three blocks it wasn't??? Do they live in the PP??? That would actually explain so much. Also, we as a fandom deserve more Rio x Dean scenes

You know what I think I liked it better when Annie was pining after Dr. Cohen. Chris/Kevin is the most forgettable character in this entire show. Also why does everyone on that show have a weird relationship with whipped cream?

Honestly, Beth has been so terrible at every job we've seen her doing for four seasons, I'm just extremely satisfied that she eventually gets fired by Dorothy, like, finally someone on this show has a faint idea of how real life works lol

OMG they're watching Love is Blind!!! Finally some trash TV that I actually know... I was very invested in the Amber x Barnett x Jessica storyline btw. Also in terms of advertising, it's quite interesting that they switched from NBC reality shows to a Netflix one this season.

Beth realizing that she owes Stan an apology but being so entitled she actually manages to make a non-apology for it is actually one of the most in-character things she's ever done. And it also reminds me Ruby's "I'm sorry" speech to sizzling-plate-prick in season 2, and not in a good way.

THE. SKINCARE/MRA/KEY JANGLERS. CULT

Honestly the best part of this episode is these random men who kneel in front of each other and grab/stroke their thighs in a very pre-blowjob fashion...

Dean pulled solid numbers this week? WHO did he sell this crap to? Like, the Bolands barely have any friends, he doesn't benefit Beth's PTA network, and who would buy skincare products from a stranger with an ankle monitor? I have SO MANY questions

The way the skincare cult leader is totally hitting on Dean just fills me with joy. Dean x being gay when???

Bleugh, Kevin blackmailing Annie into staying just made him the worst love interest this show's ever given her, and there's competition

While I saw it coming right from the start that the moving guys were saying the press couldn't fit the doorframe, I can't help thinking that it's actually miraculous that Beth is still alive and free since it apparently takes her 30 seconds to start explaining her criming to everyone. Like... wtf?

I find it very intriguing that season 1 insisted on Beth's gained independance by learning how to make the DVR work without Dean's help and generally being like "I don't need a man to do my handywork" (no pun intended) while we're witnessing the exact opposite here. Our girl couldn't pick a screwdriver herself to dismount the press, no, it has to involve freaking Dean...

This whole "let's crime happily" with the girls + Dean instead of Rio feels extremely odd tbh. Especially Dean staring at Beth making pulp, it feels like a disgusting parallel with 3.04

But also I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Dean's realization that Beth gets off on crime and him calling her out about this and no longer holding Rio accountable for Beth's nature.

"All this time I thought he was the problem. He's just the excuse"

Pardon me while I pass out, I don't know which ship Dean's the captain of now, but I love that bit

Annie's sarcastic "Really sucks to be you this week" is absolutely hilarious

No but seriously, everybody in this family confesses crime without even being asked to...

Every instant of this thighs ritual/keys ceremony was just priceless

Oooooh, I really like how Beth's "I can't promise you I won't miss crime but at least I'll try" is kinda foreshadowing of her eventual decision to stay in Detroit and keep criming

"Just business" she said, making sure her tits were in full display

Bonus 1: Smurf!Dean getting his MRA initiation

Bonus 2: this episode's bingo card. WE WERE SO CLOSE

[spaceorphan18]

I've been (slowly) gathering and writing about songs I'd like to hear the glee kids sing (trying to keep in mind voice, theme, story arc), and after making two posts already (songs for Kurt,and songs for Blaine), I found myself wondering what your thoughts would be on this - if there are any specific songs you think would fit well in their story arc/voice/theme for Kurt and Blaine? I'm writing about the songs I'd give to Rachel now, and it's been nice to see your latest posts about their voices

First of all, thank you! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the post about voices! 

Secondly, I always feel bad when people ask me this question because I never have a great answer -- I’m terrible at keeping up with pop music.  But... I’ll scroll through my iTunes and see if anything stands out to me! 

Okay! I have gone through my entire list of iTunes music (which isn’t a whole lot, let’s be real).  And these are songs that I think would be interesting for the characters to sing.  I hope you enjoy! 

Blaine

Bad Day - Daniel Powter: This would have been a really interesting Warblers song, actually. 

MmmBop - Hanson: Let’s be real, this is Blaine’s drunk karaoke go to. 

On Top of the World - Imagine Dragons: I think there are a lot of songs in the Imagine Dragons catalogue that Blaine could sing, but this is the happiest that comes to mind.  I don’t have a specific reason for when he’d sign it, but I think he’d do well with it.  

Wash Away - Joe Purdy: I love this song, and it’s another one that I think Darren’s voice would work on.  I love a lot of acoustic for Blaine whatever the song.   

Love Today - Mika: I actually kind of see this as a flirty Klaine duet.  

What am I To You - Norah Jones: Blaine angsting about Kurt in the middle of the night.  

An Old Fashioned Love Song - Three Dog Night: This is another one that might have been a fascinating Klaine duet for the hell of it.  (Btw - I think Blaine would have fun singing any Three Dog Night song.  I think ‘One’ a happier Blaine would sing almost satirically.)  

Kurt

Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson: Let me be clear, I do not think he’d sing this about Blaine.  Actually, I’d think he’d sing it about his career in the performing arts.  Also I love this song, and think he’d sound great on it. 

Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher - Jackie Wilson: Another Klaine duet.

I Try - Macy Gray: This is Kurt’s drunken karaoke song

Grace Kelly - Mika: Mika is a missed opportunity.  I love idea that Kurt would be able to be provocative and alluring in some compacity with this one. 

I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow: An angsty Kurt song

He Plays the Violin - 1776 Soundtrack: Okay, so hear me out.  This song is about Martha Jefferson alluding what her sex life is like.  It’s very suggestive.  I would have loved to hear (and see) Kurt do this one. 

Only You - Yaz: This one’s another Klaine-ish duet.  It’s their drunken karaoke song to each other

Santana

Apparently, I had some Santana feels while doing this, and found a few songs I think she’d sound really good on.  

KT Turnstall - Suddenly I See

Trouble - Pink

Angel of the Morning - Pretenders

Finn

With Finn’s penchant for doing classic rock, I’m surprised they never had him sing this. 

Brown Eyed Girl Van Morrison

Mercedes

This is just a gorgeous song that made me think of Mercedes. 

Never Gonna Break My Faith - Aretha Franklin

Sam

I had this on my list, it made me laugh and think of Sam. 

Take Me Home Country Roads

Tina

I started to laugh thinking about Tina hitting her head again, and this time they wake up in some kind of Dawson’s Creek Teen Drama fantasy

I Don’t Want to Wait - Paul Cole

Group

Because some songs you have to sing with a lot of people. 

With a Little Help From My Friends - Beatles 

Make Your Own King of Music - Mamas and the Papas

I’ll Be There For You - The Rembrants

Closing Time - Semisonic (Really, this should have been the last song.) 

All Star - Smash Mouth (Totally the male new directions drunken karaoke song.) 

The Lion Sleeps Tonight - The Tokens

YMCA - The Village People

Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon

This was an interesting exercise! Thanks Nonny! 

[muselin]

I lived in Germany for just half a year, first near Frankfurt and then in Berlin.

Yk, all I have is a couple theories. One of them is that guys who have that natural inverted triangle body shape also have a natural talent with their hips.

I didn’t found any pattern or type yet. If I think about it, there are some physical features that attract me a little bit more, but if I think about real life, the guys that attract me and the ones I dated are SO different. Like from a chubby bald guy 2cm shorter than me but with amazing green eyes to a blond 5’11 tall slim fit guy who is my ex.

Here comes another theory: I grew up in Brazil - a multicultural racial mixed country - and close to art, so experiencing it and studying both of these, especially after experiencing portrait and fashion photography in studios, there are so many features that attract me in so many ways that I’m lost.

At the moment, I’m broke, dreary and fuming. I’m looking for jobs all day, digging old projects, doing interviews, trying to do something creative for mental health, and using some time to understand who I am now, after more than 10 years in a monogamous relationship and in the same career. Yeah, life sucks sometimes.

Psychology careers must be equally gratifying and tiring. How do you deal with emotional worn outs? Do you have some breaks? Writing helps you? Btw, how did you end up writing fics?

It's so cool to have another worldly friend :) I'm an expat, I'm from Southern Europe and have lived in the US for 1 year and now in the UK for 9 years. What are your best and worst memories of Germany?

I can see how living in such a multicultural and racially diverse country like Brazil would make it less likely to have a "type". What sort of features attract you in people? For me I've found that I don't have a "type" either, but things like a prominent nose and prominent lips make me notice a guy more. Regardless of whether he's white, black, latino or mixed. And actually I've dated all of those lol.

It sounds like you're making the best of a bad situation! It's so hard to not have secure employment. At the same, like you said, using the time to figure out who you are is just about the btst thing you can do, it can be comforting when you can't control much else in your life at the moment. What's one thing you've realised about yourself?

On my pinned post I have something called Muselin 101. At the bottom of that post it says how I got into writing. It definitely helps me, yes. I can't feel happy without having something creative in my life, even when my career is not in a creative field and I don't view myself as a particularly artistic person. It's still very important and adds meaning to my life.

At least for me, a psychology career has been challenging and tiring. It is definitely rewarding on a very high moral level, but the day-to-day often sucks. Or at least it does when you're still my age, where you're considered too young and too idealistic and ambitious for your own good. After 9 years of working towards it I haven't got tired of it. The thing I've found is that it's never the patients or clients that wear me out, it's all the red tape and operational stuff. The system around the clients is what is hard to deal with. I've had two low points, once in my previous job and once in my current one (so far). They weren't serious breakdowns but it was a very cynical time where I was thinking "Does anything I do really matter?" And that's even if I've literally stopped a suicidal person from ending their life the previous day. It didn't last long though and I stayed true to myself and the people I was looking after, so I consider myself lucky

[hueningkai]

So not sure if I can still send in an ask about toys BUT IF YES CAN I SHARE!?

So my big thing as a kid, it depended haha. Based on my memory, doll wise I was more into bratz dolls? Like legit the fact they had bobble sized heads and they didn't have feet when taking off their "shoes" was so hilarious to me as a kid that made me love them but also the fashion? Amazing, still holds up to this day. Gosh I had so many bratz dolls lol. I had a bratz rock angelz one (it was Sasha, she was my fav) that I lowkey got salty because my friend stole her from me and denied it she ever did :') i had the bratz snow lodge house along with those skating dolls (best doll house ever btw) then I had two sleepover ones. One was cloe and she had the cutest piggy slippers and comfy pj's (it was plaid sweats and a simple white top with a fluffy bathrobe and a matching sleep mask) and another was Sasha again and she was my fancy sleepover one. She came with these fantastic silk floral robes and pj's, she even had the "normal feet" switch so you could have these rose heels or her actual feet. The best part was this cushion that acted as the sparkly powder for you to use and this (overly musky scented) mini perfume like I loved them. I think I may still have them(?) The rest of my collection i sadly sold because I was "too old for dolls" and I kinda regret that because oof. I also had barbie dolls, those ranged from all kinds like I had one that had a washing machine (which fun fact i put actual soap thinking it would make the experience more real. Not a smart idea but lil me was happy lol) and I remember those fashion design line? I wish I could remember the name but it had like a more fancier option of clothes that you could buy to your barbie doll as a whole so it was a clothing line for your dolls. I have to double check this online lol. I also had a few my scene dolls! Also anyone remember soda pop girls? Yeah my shiz. Polly pocket as well! I had so many and even had those tiny ones that were of magnet? (Random side not but anyone else liked chewing on the polly pocket outfits or pretending you had a lip ring using a dolls bracelet or was that just me?)

Outside of dolls, I had quite the my little pony collection. Heck I even had a few playsets! One was a giant castle that was fantastic and another was I belive a bakery? I remember there was this oven that if you out the metal part of the pony a cake would pop up lol. Also sold those. My proudest collection? My littles pet shop lol. I STILL have my original toys (not the playsets sadly) and even own some of the limited figures where you and to send in stickers to get it? One was a ladybug and a Kola if I remember! Other toys included some pokemon ones and I had a very interesting phase of collecting hot wheel cars? Man I had a good collection as well lol.

OF COURSEEEE!! I just hope you see this anon bc I absolutely love the detail here and appreciate you sending it <3333

agreeeeeed. to this day bratz are iconic and had some of the best fashion in the doll market. the detail & accessories... mga know how to accessorise. you had some amazing ones! the rock angelz line is insanely good, I also really loved the pretty in punk line! omg the sleepover ones were adorable. yasmin was my fav btw! the smells yes! gosh they really did so well with bratz. that is sad :( I actually owned a few recently in my collection but sold them for extra money but I am always tempted to collect again. the collector dolls were gorgeous. side note did you ever watch the live action movie?? bc I love it lmao it may not be the best movie ever but it is a guilty pleasure for me for sure

hmmmmm I'm not sure! there's been so many fashion lines and such that I can't think rn what this is !! I might be able to figure it out if you can give me more detail <3 YES SODA POP GIRLS!! very obscure but sooo good, what a fun line !! I used to chew polly pocket clothes but omg wait I think I did that with the bracelets too, they fit perfectly as a ring hahahahaa!!

oooooo sounds like you had either gen 2 or 3? gen 2 and 3 were based around magnetic play a lot of the time !! I have lady cupcake from gen 2 who has a metal magnetic nose which sticks to a cake and makes it pop up. as a child I had the gen 3 bakery and it had the oven with a magnetic piece that popped open to reveal the cake (I have the oven now!) these are my fav gens (gen 2 being my favourite) and I looooved the magnetic play features. I always wanted to own the castle so I am jealous !!

anon I would love to see anything you have esp your littlest pet shops omg! the fact you had the mail in limited ones too ... so cool! wow you've had so many good collections <3

here's a few of my fav g3s that I own in mib packaging. I had star catcher as a child and she was my favourite so I was glad when I got hold of her new in the box hehe!

( tell me about your childhood toys )

[feynites]

I had a thought earlier and thought I'd shoot you an ask about it: Do you have any tips on getting better at world-building (I think you're great at it btw)? Also, have you always liked world-building, in itself? I find myself often using worlds other people create, because I'm not very good at creating/thinking of my own, and was wondering if that was lazy of me? Just was wondering what your opinion was, on all that! Just food for thought. c:

Thank you! I’m glad you think I’m good at it!

World-building is a very interesting subject, but it took me a while to even really appreciate what it was. I’ve also spent a lot of time in other people’s worlds and environments, that’s pretty common among fanfiction writers, but I wouldn’t consider it lazy. Not unless you think any fiction set in our world is also lazy. There will always be parts of a story that some people are better at or prefer to focus on, or still need to build up their skills at. It’s normal.

I think a few things are very key to good world-building, though. Or at least in my experience, it’s the stuff I’ve figured out that’s helped me the most.

1. Nothing is original. You might not be entirely sure of where an idea has come to you from, but at the end of the day, there are only so many facets to human existence out there. Our imaginations only carry us so far, and our ideas come from the people around us, and also from their ideas. Artists draw from the things they see and experience, and use references to make stuff more realistic. So do writers. Do not worry that your stuff is unoriginal. Doing your best to abandon that fear is one of the biggest favours you can do for yourself as a writer; there’s a difference between similar concepts and ideas, and plagiarism, and only plagiarism is really a problem.

2. Nothing is without real-world context. This is related to the above. The things you make are coming from somewhere, and that means that they will have implications and real-world parallels. It pays to stop and consider where you’re getting your ideas, and what those ideas are implying about the world around you, too. In order to write stories, you have to be willing to take the stuff of your daydreams, and hammer it out into a narrative. It’s like turning a hunk of rock into a gemstone. You have to cut pieces out, decide what to reshape, what to keep, and what to throw away. If you can’t attack your own presumptions about the real world, you’ll have a harder time shaping a consistent fictional one. But also, at the end of the day, a rough diamond and a faceted one are both still diamonds. People will often be able to tell where you’re pulling your ideas from, so what you say about certain subjects can still have an impact on real-world concepts, and on your readers.

3. Let your setting be bigger than you. When writing, it’s extremely easy to get caught up in your own ideals and frames of reference, and that can mean that you design a world that acts more like how you think it should, rather than how it would. Worlds are big, and to some extent you can mitigate this by being aware that there is more going on than what you’re describing - that your story’s perspective is limited to the characters and events in it, and that contradictory things or mysterious unknowns still linger in the wider scheme of the setting. Your characters shouldn’t know everything that you, the author, knows, and you, the author, shouldn’t know everything about the world, either. An exhaustive list of details can even work against you, because it makes it trickier to keep track of what all your characters do and don’t know as well.

4. Big events are great, but cause and effect is better. When you look at history, you can see the way certain figures and events impacted one another, and connected together to get people to their ends or beginnings. A common mistake in world building is to take the big events - wars, coronations, the fall of empires, the rise of them, etc, etc - and just throw them into the setting without much thought for how they all interact with one another. But it’s like… if you have a nation that’s got a standing army, that’s expensive. Most nations have very small armies of professional soldiers, and instead tend to temporarily conscript people to bulk up their armies in times of crisis, because someone who is busy training and fighting isn’t doing other vital work, like raising livestock or farming crops or building homes, making babies, running households, etc, etc. But they still need to be fed and clothed and offered some kind of shelter from the elements, provided with equipment and a certain degree of entertainment, and things like that. Professional soldiers can spend their time focusing on being the best fighters they can be, so there’s an advantage to it, but you also need to justify having them around, especially if the rest of your country is having to work overtime to keep them fed. So a nation with a big standing army is going to be a nation that finds a lot of reasons to go to war - war lets you bring home spoils, lets you raid someone else’s farms to feed your soldiers, and expand your territory, and tax or enslave conquered peoples, and so on and so forth. You can start your world-building at the point of ‘I want this nation to have a big army’, or you can start it at the point of ‘I want this nation to be war-like’, or somewhere else on the chain of events - but certain things will also imply certain other things. It’s best to be aware of what those elements are when you’re laying out your setting. If you make a nation with a big army that is ‘peaceful’, you either need to explain how that works, or else people will probably think that the reputation is inaccurate (and that’s fine, too, as along as you’re willing to create a nation with one hell of a propaganda machine instead). But if you have a warlike nation, then there will also be other nations that have taken the brunt of its actions and conquests. So you will do better to let a few key traits expand into their implications, than to try and railroad everything into a framework that doesn’t flow naturally from those things. Because if you have your big nation with its standing army and militant inclinations, every other part of the world is probably going to be impacted by its quest for expansion, and if they aren’t, you need to be thinking about why, or else the pieces of your setting won’t fit together very well.

5. Avoid the Golden Mean Fallacy. The Golden Mean Fallacy, also known as the ‘argument to moderation’, is the idea that the perfect solution to any problem lies in compromise. But thereare some situations where saying ‘both sides are in the wrong’ requires a lotof false equivalents or narrative contrivances, even though people often tend to think that this is the most reasonable or neutral stance to take as the sort of arbitrator of the setting. Approaching societal conflicts in your world-building withthe idea that compromise is an ideal solution can actually be really offensive, though, and less ‘neutral’ than beneficial to aggressive qualities in the setting.For example, if one group is trying to commit genocide against another, looking at it and going ‘okay you guys want to live, but these other guys want to killyou, so I think the solution here is to just let them eradicate your culture –that’s really what they’re objecting to, anyway, and then you get to live andthey still get to destroy you, everybody wins!’ is not something you want to present as a fair solution. Sometimes people are just plainly in the wrong. That said…

6. Nevermake any culture/race/ethnicity/etc ‘evil’ in your stories. Doesn’t matter ifit’s orcs, robots, aliens, faeries, or what-have-you. The ‘savage tribe ofmonster people’ or Always Chaotic Evil Race™ is a bad trope and it needs to godie in a fire. If you want an ‘evil group’, you will do far better to alignpeople based on something like ideology or political corruption than race, geography, or traits theyare born with. There are other tropes along these lines that should be avoided, too, in fact there are more of them than I could successfully list in a timely fashion. As a general rule, though, if taking your world-building principles and applying them to real-life groups would result in an appalling statement, you should either change it, or else work it in as a form of propaganda and prejudice which you’re well aware of. That’s the difference between something like ‘mages are the most dangerous people in Thedas’ versus ‘the Templars believe that mages are the most dangerous people in Thedas’. One is you, the writer, making a blanket statement that some groups of people are just born dangerous, whereas the other is you, the writer, creating a scenario where prejudice exists in the setting.

7. Taking something out is often harder than adding something in. For example, building a setting without something like sexism or racism is usually much more complex than building a setting with something like magic or dragons or something. Fantastical elements are flexible, and you can shift the rules of them around to suit your needs without too many people crying foul. Whereas something like sexism is built into a lot of aspects of our society, and sinks into things that many people don’t even think twice about. Trying to create a fictional world where there is no sexism or history of it is, therefore, very hard, because you have to learn as much as you can about the ways in which this prejudice impacts our society and our presumptions, and then try and extrapolate how that would change everyone’s behaviour in a different world. And what you don’t change will immediately tilt your setting towards being the kind of place where biased presumptions are true facts of nature, rather than being a place where bad attitudes merely exist among the people and cultures there. This applies to basically everything, by the way, although it’s usually the most glaring when someone decides that they don’t want to deal with X kind of bigotry, and think that just going ‘it doesn’t exist in this world’ is the simple way out. (It’s not, the simple way out is to go ‘it exists in this world just the same way it does in ours, but I’m not focusing on it’.)

8. Keeping track of things is more important than knowing them off the bat. Everybody knows you’re making stuff up. That’s what they came to this party for. Inconsistencies can happen, but it’s also entirely possible to get so caught up in the planning stage that you never actually do any writing. So a good compromise between spontaneous invention and consistency is to just note the things you add in when you add them in, and then figure out how they might impact the other elements in your story, and set aside potential consequences in case they’re interesting or useful later on. Editing is your friend, and ‘I don’t know, let’s think about it until I do’ is also a vital element to incorporate into your thinking.

9. Be aware that you can mess up, and probably will. In order for any story to be inclusive of a wide enough range of people and cultures to make a whole world, it’s going to require you stepping outside of your own experience, or incorporating stuff that you have only a limited amount of knowledge on. You may very well fuck this up. This doesn’t mean the attempt was doomed, and it doesn’t mean you’re bad at world-building, and it also doesn’t mean that you have to defend your mistake in order to keep your setting from being deemed a worthless heap of junk. Your honour doesn’t ride upon whether or not you can make a convincing argument as to why your intentions outweigh the unintended implications of your actions. If someone points out a mistake, you should think about the ways you can go about handling it and/or fixing it. Maybe you just suddenly made your virtuous heroic group a lot more shady than you thought. Maybe you have to abandon a plot twist you were originally angling for. Maybe you have to make your narrator a lot more unreliable than you initially planned. There are solutions, and most importantly, you gotta listen to the people in the real world whose cultures or traits you borrowed from for your story. Just like when you borrow anything. If it’s not yours, you need to respect that and be mindful of how you use it.

10. Have fun. When you make a new world, there should be things in it that you love. That speak to your delight and sense of wonder. These are the things that often help the most when you’re deciding what to actually make in your world. You want unicorns? Put in unicorns. You want talking dragons? Put in talking dragons. Just think about how they would work, and how people would react to them, and how having them around might change the way the world operates. A lot of stuff will build naturally out of that.

I hope some of this helps!