#all Faramir stuff is for him tbh

[kashilascorner]

the way the lotr movies didn't really bother to properly close (or acknowledge) Eowyn and Faramir's story arcs and they just kind of threw them in together at the end

[anghraine]

Fic author interview (meme)

I was tagged by @incognitajones! Thank you very much <3

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

222, though some are very closely interconnected.

2- What's your total AO3 word count?

1,193,545, says the AO3 statistics page!

o_O

3- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

LOL, I had just automatically rearranged my stats graph to rank fics by kudos instead of hits. It's:

Season of Courtship (inevitably), a Darcy/Elizabeth canon-compliant engagement interquel I wrote as a teenager;

But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul In Hell (always a pleasant surprise), a short AU in which Luke convinces Anakin/Vader to flee the Empire with him;

per ardua ad astra, a Rogue One+ANH Jyn/Cassian AU in which Jyn, Cassian, and Bodhi escape Scarif only to get trapped on the Death Star and forced to pass themselves off as Imperials;

we get dark, only to shine, a longggg yet unfinished AU of The Borgias in which Cesare and Lucrezia begin their affair during S1 instead of S3 (CW for canon sibling incest, murder, etc).

Contradictions and Varieties (baffling), a short Darcy/Elizabeth AU I wrote for a fest in which it takes them slightly longer to get together.

4- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try, especially with fics I'm actively updating, but I'm always behind on it. I mostly just get distracted and forget.

5- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, interesting question! I don't write a lot of angsty endings, but there are a few options, and I think it probably would have to be the gift of men, a short (~1k) Fourth Age fic in which Eldarion goes along with a politically convenient marriage to one of Faramir and Éowyn's daughters, and falls in love with her, only for her to die of old age while Aragorn and Faramir are still alive and Eldarion remains young.

Honorable mentions: Set On This Path (Luke and Leia are brought up in the Empire + fusion with the story of the bloodbending brothers in B1 of Legend of Korra, complete with murder-suicide) and the last day (a chirpy epistolary fic that takes an abrupt turn after the genocidal attack that begins the Guild Wars games).

6- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Um, just considering the ones that have endings, to be fair, and ... hmm, that's harder. A lot of happy endings! Probably the ones that are happiest for me, personally, are First Impressions (m!Elizabeth/f!Darcy re-telling of P&P) and whatever we deny or embrace (f!Cassian/Jyn).

7- Do you write crossovers?

Not often, but sometimes! Like now.

8- Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes! I've gotten hate more than once wrt Season of Courtship in various versions (even before it become so overwhelmingly the popular favorite of my fics). The rest has been on other fics and mostly on ff.net.

TBH the subtler stuff bothers me more than outright hate (corrections based on adaptations or fanon or expanded universe material I already said I wasn't using, concern that I might switch permanently to a new format I'm trying out, etc).

9- Do you write smut?

Very rarely. I respect people who can write good smut (hi incognita!), but I'm definitely a fade to black sort unless the ship is already so out there that I'm long past feeling self-conscious about it.

10- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. It's happened a couple of times, but the main one was someone who stole a few Austen fics from various people and tried to piece them together into something they could sell on Amazon. One of the fics was The Rich Are Always Respectable (not what I would choose to plagiarize if I were going to, but ... okay).

11- Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several times. I think it's cool!

12- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I wrote a short fic with my friend @tulinlina many years ago :)

13- What's your all-time favorite ship?

Darcy/Elizabeth. Truly this ship is the terror of the seas!

14- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, man. This probably requires more self-knowledge than I really have. Um ... I hate saying it, but we get dark, only to shine is likely this. I had so many plans for where it was going to go, but I'm just in a very different fannish place these days.

15- What are your writing strengths?

It feels weird to say, but I think I write solid dialogue (it's certainly my favorite thing to write!) and fairly clean prose in general.

16- What are your writing weaknesses?

Description is my truest nemesis—I tend to place scenes in just empty or vaguely described space. Fight scenes and that sort of thing are really difficult (for related reasons). Finishing things—my stuff nearly always grows out of control and it screws up pacing and so on.

17- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

A little goes a long way, IMO. I did a bit of it in my fic about Leia and Cassian and Alderaanian, in tongues and quiet sighs, so I can't judge it too hard, but it's very much something to handle with care (especially with conlangs—Tolkien fic can be pretty grating this way).

18- What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Tolkien! My first attempt at a fic was a Faramir-goes-to-Rivendell-instead-of-Boromir AU that never got very far.

Well, my first serious attempt at fanfic, that is—I wrote original stuff for years before that, and I guess technically I tried to write Trixie Belden fanfic when I was about 10 ... and the original stuff spun off from a piece that was basically a Secret of Mana fanfic I wrote even before the Trixie Belden stuff. But in terms of something written within a fandom community, the Faramir fic.

19- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Hmm. I'm not sure, actually. I mostly just write stuff if I feel like it. Oh—it's cheating, but I've barely written Korra/Kuvira even though I adore the ship. I'd like to write a proper Korvira fic someday.

20- What's your favorite fic you've written?

This changes pretty often, though there are always a few that come up when I'm asked. At this moment in time, probably The Jedi and the Sith Lord, the third (sort of) of my f!Luke Skywalker fics, and the one where the story finally swerves off the canon tracks and becomes its own thing. Maybe (probably?) not my best work, but the Lucyverse is my baby and I think TJATSL is my best work in it.

Tagging: @elwing, @kareenvorbarra, @heckofabecca, @veliseraptor, @rain-sleet-snow

[tathrin]

🎯 🤩(and my boy boromir for 🧠 please!)

From this ask meme.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Oh gods, probably? I'm not much of a "twist" writer tbh. When I get "gasps of shock" out of folks, it tends to be less a result of a plot twist they didn't see coming, and more in regards to the specific details of how x-y-z happened. If that makes sense? There are a lot more "oh no, Tathrin isn't really going to...oh crap, we are! oh crap!" vibes happening in my comment section than there are "wow, I didn't see that coming!" ones, I think? I'm more interested in getting people invested in seeing what happens next than I am in surprising them with something unexpected, I guess. So instead I'll answer the other way, and say that I was surprised that more people did not anticipate the death at the end of this story, because I had assumed that it was a foregone conclusion based on what the story was ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Boba Fett. (Original Flavor Boba Fett, I should say.) The only reason I don't write more of him is because he needs a story that deserves him, you know? And he's a pretty singular barve. But I love looking at the world(s) through his T-shaped visor.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them (for Boromir).

Oh damn, I don't know that I really have any significant ones honestly, since I don't really write him much (although I have been enjoying him recently and uhhh we're not ready to talk about The Zombie Story yet, but. well. there are thoughts happening and Plot Outline Possibility A has a significant amount of Boromir, so. I expect I'll be doing more of that soon shhh). So mostly thinking-out-loud here...I headcanon him as aromantic, because of the whole "delighting chiefly in arms" thing, and slightly baffled by everybody else's interest in all that sappy stuff, as he's always rolling his eyes affectionately at his little brother when Faramir goes off into some bout of poetry or whatnot. Also, I love a Slightly Baffled Boromir in relation to elves and dwarves (and Hobbits, too, but I feel like Hobbits are weird in a less bewildering way somehow) so the idea that he spends 90% of the Fellowhip's journey in a constant state of silent wtf-ing at whatever nonsense Gimli and especially Legolas are getting up to is a delight.

Thank you for making me think about Boromir more specifically!

[ursie]

What are your lotr gender/sexuality/ect hcs?

Ok ok the problem I have w answering this question is I literally cannot decide on how the diff races view gender. Like Gimli and Legolas are all of the lgbts at once. You could actually make an argument for Gimli being a woman as Dwarves present as masculine outside of their homes and there being little to no visible differences between the two. That’s not even getting into elves.

Anyway.

Gandalf : I think unironically he should be a drag queen. Old gay man. Physically disabled-I would like to see him use his staff as a cane. Also probably shouldn’t be white

Aragorn : I run on the rule of comedy and I think it’s funniest for him to be the only cishet man in the fellowship. Everyone is limping wrists at each other and he’s just trying to fight orcs so he can go home and get married. Literally the #1 ally put up w Gimli and Legolas’s gay bickering across countries. There is no one stronger. Has chronic migraines just from that. Chronic pain obv, Autistic, depression. I don’t think he should be white the blood purity stuff with the lines of kings ect does not need to represented w a white guy. I don’t know if anyone’s seen the old animated film but I always thought he was Native in that. Anyway indigenous king 🥰

Boromir : gay king. “No time to marry” “permanent bachelor” he’s gay. Chronic pain, I saw Sami Boromir once and that’s literally all I want indigenous king 👑

Legolas : Femme/twink jokes aside he’s a Bear as far as elves are concerned. Masc4masc bear4bear king. Cis in the elf way.chronic migraines. Chronic fatigue, depression, autistic. Again probs shouldn’t be white. Indigenous king yet again

Gimli : god where to start. Yes. Bi and nb. Whoever you are if you’re into him you’re gay. Hoh, impaired vision, arthritis, chronic pain. Jewish in the all Tolkien dwarves are Jewish way. No racial hcs outside of canon.

Pippin : Trans. The entdraught was magical hormones. Adhd. Depression. Ptsd. Chronic pain. Chair user post battle of Mordor. No racial hcs outside of canon

Merry : see above. Autistic, depression, Ptsd, unspecified disorder, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, arthritis. No racial hcs outside of canon

Frodo : GAY, cis but in the hobbit way. Depression, multiple unspecified mental illnesses and disorders, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, chronic illness, ptsd, anxiety, probs shouldn’t be white given his relationship to Sam who was at the least described as brown. (Yes Sam probs wasn’t meant to be read as brown but that’s hardly the point). Chair user post battle of Mordor

Sam : BI KING, nb, full of love, anxiety, unspecified mental illness, chronic fatigue and chronic pain, cane user post battle of Mordor. Brown. Also I think he should be a bear 🐻

Faramir : unironically lesbian king. Enby legend. Trans icon. All of the lgbts at once. Literally all the mental illnesses. Chronic pain and fatigue, ptsd. See Boromir

Eomer : Transmasc king. Bear. Mlm legend. Sm going on in his head. Hoh, inferiority complex, impostor syndrome. Tbh I read him as white. No racial hcs outside of canon

Eowyn : dyke. Depression, ptsd, bpd, bipolar disorder, inferiority complex, impostor syndrome. Chronic pain and fatigue, arthritis. No racial hcs outside of canon

Arwen : Transhet. Chronically ill. Indigenous.

[hacash]

writer ask game! tagged by the delightful @itsthecamouflage

what's your all-time favorite ship? uh...probably faramir x eowyn? it changes all the time though

how many works do you have on ao3? 24

what's your total ao3 word count?  222, 787

what are your top five fics by kudos?

• Only The Welsh Can Cwtch (Ted Lasso) Kudos: 249

• Too Much Information (LOTR) Kudos 132

• Doing Better (Ted Lasso) Kudos 122

• A Shadow And A Thought (LOTR) Kudos 115

• On Purpose (Ted Lasso) Kudos 91

do you reply to comments, why or why not? yes: it always gets me happy when someone replies to mine so I try to pay it forward

fic you've written with the angstiest ending? oof, tricky - I seem to remember writing some pretty angsty batman fic back in the day, but I think out of the stuff on AO3 probably Home Fires Burning (alas for Lotho’s never-achieved redemption!)

fic you've written with the happiest ending? most of mine have happy endings but An Unexpected Courtship had mistaken identity, fake dating, a whole lotta angst and putting Pippin through the absolute wringer before giving him a happy ending, so that felt like the best-achieved happy ending.

do you write crossovers? not that much, although I yammer a fair bit about the possibility of crossovers on here

have you ever received hate on a fic? not yet, give it time

do you write smut? if so what kind? I write smutty moments in longer fics - I seem to be developing a tendency for enthusiastic and sexy consent which is not a bad thing to specialise in I suppose

have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge

have you ever had a fic translated? I don’t think so

have you ever co-written a fic before? yeeaars ago I’m not even sure I can remember what it was about!

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? so help me God, I will complete This Slanted Light if it kills me. the Robin Hood fic that I abandoned like two chapters before completion haunts my dreams tho

what are your writing strengths? dialogue and a tendency to get way too in depth with characterisation

what are your writing weaknesses? so long. too long.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’ll try my hand at small snippets but tbh I don’t trust online translators so I’ll usually just write ‘they said in X’ to make sure I don’t cock anything up

what was the first fandom you wrote for? Lord of the Rings; and still going strong babeyy

what's your favorite fic you've written? This Slanted Light. It’s all about the four hobbits coming home and leading the rising of the Shire, coping with the traumas of the War of the Ring, and Sam/Merry/Pip’s eventual romances with their wives, and it is a freaking labour of love. It’s something I’ve wanted to write since I first read the books and delves into every cheesy trope I’ve ever wanted to put in a fic, so ofc I love it :)

tagging @kamillahn, @too-tookish-to-care, @bibliothekara, @hippity-hoppity-brigade, and anyone else who wants in

[meteor752]

Lotr Sexualities

Modern sexualities with Fantasy characters lets go

Aragorn: Pansexual. Like, if the person can pin him down in a fight, then he’s just smitten. While his heart belongs to Legolas, he did feel certain things around both Boromir and Éowyn though.

Legolas: The gayest gay to ever gay. Like, he’s that one gay friend. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

Gimli: Gimli is kinda lost on me tbh, like I don’t get a clear vibe from him, so I’m just gonna say that he doesn’t like labels, and he just does whatever the f he wants. Which is kinda on brand for him, like screw your rules.

Boromir. Bisexual. The same as with Aragorn, if they can beat him in a fight then damn this boy has fallen for them. Makes a thousand Bi puns, including the obvious one with his own name, Biromir.

Frodo: Gay. Not as gay as Legolas, but still very gay. Is more of a stressed anxious gay, that just has a problem functioning sometimes. Sometimes just cries by how pretty some guys are.

Sam: Bisexual. The softes bisexual. Everyone is so pretty and he can’t handle it. Though Frodo is the prettiest, definitely.

Merry: Bisexual. Transgender. I realize I’m making a lot of them Bi, but like...they are all soft bisexuals. Idk how being trans works in this world, but who cares. He’s an oblivious Bisexual who has no idea that his best friend has been crushing on him for years.

Pippin: Pansexual. Crushes on EVERYONE. The most obvious is Merry, of course, but he could also be found checking out Boromir, Legolas, Éowyn, and ever Frodo or Sam sometimes. Is really just a thirsty hoe.

Faramir: Biromantic Demisexual. He thought he was entirely repelled by sex until he fell in love for the first time, which was a strange discovery. He’s still new to all of this...couple stuff, but Éomer is a huge support.

Éowyn: Bisexual. Another Bisexual, and another one who’s just attracted to people that can fight her. Well, that was until she met Arwen, who yes can fight, but is also the softest and purest being in Middle Earth, who made her just melt.

Éomer: Gay. May not seem like it as he flirts with a lot of females, but he’s very gay. Not very open about it though, but yeah. Totally in love with his kinda awkward boyfriend Faramir, who he respects a lot.

Arwen: Lesbian. Lipstick lesbian to be exact. She’s just charming ladies wherever she goes, with the softest smile and the most graceful behavior. Éowyn is so in love with her that it’s insane.

Sigrid: Biromantic Demisexual. You have to earn this queen. She mostly crush on elves, despite her dwarf love. Tauriel, Arwen, and Lindir have all been in her radar.

Bain: Polyamorous Pansexual. Very in love with his partners Kamarind and Vivian. Hasn’t had too many crushes on anyone else, and he doesn’t really find anyone attractive considering he’s blind.

Tilda: Whatever she likes. She’s very inconsistent. One day it’s only dwarf males, other days it’s only females in general, some days it’s everything and some days it’s nothing. Sort of like Abrosexual, but not really as it’s a lot more fluid.

[agirlunderarock]

How I accidentally wrote 20 page paper on Boromir for one of my Final Ever University Papers PART 3

 Okay folks so I think we’re a little more than halfway through? I think??? I don’t freaking know this is the exact same feeling I had while writing the paper-

Will I ever come to an end? 

We just don’t know

If you missed Part 1 and Part 2  just click the text and it’ll take you to the link

So where did we leave off last time?

I told you exactly how academics where taking a crap on the goodest boi and so this time I’m going to explain why Faramir is the better character foil. Because instead of using Boromir as foil for say Aragorn or Sam, I say they should be using Faramir. I think specifically I left you guys with this lovely little picture I made myself of their character arcs:

If you can’t read it, I’m sorry its pixilated, thats just how the program gets when you try to make an image that compact to fit on a large presentation poster with an already large image. But anyway the important thing in this image isn’t whether or not you can read the damn thing, no, its that Boromir and Faramir’s character arcs are nearly exactly the same.Boromir and Faramir face political, and familial pressures, and faced with the question of what to do about Frodo and the ring. Both brothers are introduced in places that are supposedly out of their element. Boromir is seemingly described as more prepared for battle and fighting, yet we meet him in a council meeting of all things, and Faramir who is supposed to be #intellectual we meet after he and his men have just conducted a raid on an enemy patrol. They’re later both faced with questions of doubt and what they feel they need to do to protect their people. Denethor asks a lot of them and it takes a toll in some way shape and form. but the main points of their character arc ultimately come down to the conflict of family, country, and the fellowship.

like okay I’m not gonna lie, I really just want to put this picture in here and I have a funny story about how this picture made it in the research project but basically even the movie backs up that Boromir’s real foil is Faramir.

shit what was I saying?

Oh yeah

so basically in this flashback from the two towers we get a good side by side comparison between the brothers. Clearly they look alike, but look at how they’re dressed. Boromir’s in full armor my dudes, sword looks like its partially out of the scabbard- but really the main thing you need to focus on is the costuming in this shot, because the costuming here is, of course a reflection of their roles as military leaders, but also a major reflection of their personalities and really how their character arcs play out as a whole. Boromir is usually on the defensive (note I say defensive not ready to throw down) not just in battle because Mordor is like constantly like “Knock Knock can we come in?” but when he gets the Rivendell too, he’s being defensive because it almost sounds like these people half way across the world are going to forsake his home and the people he loves. So yes, I’d say my boi gets to be a little abrasive and wear emotional armor. He’s got a lot of feelings and he doesn’t get to talk about them because either 1. he’s with his troops or 2 he’s surrounded by people he doesn’t know that well i.e. the fellowship early in the story.

Faramir on the other hand is wearing some pretty light armor. He’s more open than Boromir, and if I remember correctly its said in the book that Faramir had taken to talking with Gandalf often when he was young and stuff- I don’t remember tbh I’m at that point where I haven’t read a book in a year cause I’m so damn tired, and I get canon and fanon mashed up sometimes. But what I’m trying to get at is, Faramir lets himself be open to more ideas, to more people, he’s more trusting of people’s intentions probably that numorian thing that he and Denethor have tbh. So basically what I’m trying to say is the main difference between the two brothers is how they deal with fear and anxiety.

Again Boromir tries to hide and swallow his fear and anxiety- he has to as a military leader shit happens. Faramir, looks for as many plans as he can to relieve some of his fear and anxiety- he’s also a leader shit happens.

So remember back when I said that Aristotle said some bullshit about how betraying your father is like the shittiest thing a person could ever do ever? Or when I said the heroism through obedience is absolute bullshit? If not too bad that was your reminder, though I genuinely don’t remember if I talked about the latter.

Denethor becomes the focal point of how these characters are compared. I say this because there is never a moment in the books were we actually have a conversation with all three of them present, but we know that he makes the same demand of both of his sons, that being find out what Isildure’s Bane is and then find a way to protect Gondor by any means. Not necessarily a bad request, its just HEAVY and the way its delivered in Return of the King is heavy and hurtful. I sir I know your mad stressed but also

YOUR SONS ARE MAD STRESSED SO CAN YOU PLEASE NOT HAVE CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS:

“‘Your bearing is lowly in my presence, yet it is too long now since you turned from your own way at my counsel. See, you have spoken skillfully, as ever; but I, have I not seen your eye fixed on Mithrandir seeking whether you said well or too much? He has long had your heart in his keeping.

‘My son, your father is old but not yet dotard […]

‘If what I have done displease you, my father,’ said Faramir quietly, ‘I wish I had known your counsel before the burden of so weight a judgement was thrust on me.’

‘Would that have availed to change your judgement?’ said Denethor. ‘You would still have done just so, I deem. I know you well. […]But in desperate hours gentleness may be repaid with death.’

‘So be it,’ said Faramir.

‘So be it!’ cried Denethor. ‘But not with your death only, Lord Faramir: with the death also of your father, and all your people, whom it is your part to protect now that Boromir is gone.’

‘Do you with then,’ said Faramir, ‘that our places had been exchanged?’

‘Yes, I wish that indeed,’ said Denethor. “For Boromir was loyal to me and no wizard’s pupil.” (Return of the King 794-795).

Like thats a big load for two dudes to carry man

Like I get it but thats heavy and I cri for both my bois having to deal with this war their whole life

 But you see what I’m getting at here. Theres a lot of expectations for these boys, and really they just need hugs, and I need a hug rewriting this part into non academic language because it makes me BIG SAD

But whats interesting about the expectation that his sons only be loyal to him, is that in attempting to obey their father, THEY GET FUCKING WRECKED. Boromir ends up scaring Frodo to the point the Fellowship breaks up, and Faramir ends up like almost dying and gets his men wrecked. Now I’m not saying Aristotle is full of bullshit, but he’s full of shit, and I’m gonna learn you why.

So before I say which critic actually puts everyone else to shame by praising two hobbit bois, let me make this clear: Boromir does not die trying to obey his father, he dies actively disobeying him. Instead of trying to find Frodo and still get the ring like Denethor would have wanted, Boromir goes dies defending Merry and Pippin. HE COULD HAVE LEFT THEM IN FAVOR OF GOING AFTER THE RING BUT HE’S A GOOD MAN WHO WANTED HIS HOBBIT CHILDREN WHO ARE TECHNICALLY JUST AS OLD AS HIM TO GET AWAY AND BE SAFE AND HE DIED. Faramir on the other hand nearly dies while trying to carry out his father’s orders and thats tragic but again- shit happens.

According to no braincells Aristotle, one of these is right, even with the tragic outcome and one is wrong and deserved to die.

WRONG

In Ian Romuald Lakowski’s, "Types of Heroism in The Lord of the Rings," he acknowledges that through Merry and Pippin there is heroism in DISOBEDIENCE. For Boromir and Faramir this means obedience or disobedience is not a simple right or wrong choice, and in both of them being disobedient to their father is a more sure sign of their heroism.

I mean think about it, the very action every critic characterizes Boromir for is based off of his obedience to his father. He’s villainized for trying to take the ring from Frodo, when the reality is, the man was struggling with trying to figure out what the right course of action was. ITS THE SAME REASON FARAMIR TAKES SO DAMN LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH FRODO AND SAM. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

So what ends up happening? Faramir is praised a good guy for disobeying, and really in the end the real Boromir comes back when he disobeys Denethor too.

But we’ll come back to some of that in a bit,

Because STRESS is not enough to bind these two as better foils than other comparison that can be made. Because again, critics like to praise Faramir and elevate him and I’m not about to put them against each other.

Like despite their differences Boromir and Faramir’s relationship with one another isn’t characterized by fear or power or even that #stress but genuine love for one another. And this is important, because though no critics ever sighted a page for their reading of Boromir as a greedy little shit, I believe their interpretation comes from second hand accounts of his character. Instead of actually looking at what he says and does to be his true self.  They characterize Boromir by his single action of trying to take the ring from Frodo instead of looking at him as a whole.

Boromir’s relationship with his brother is incredibly important because given the circumstances and everything that they’ve been through and even though they have very different thought processes, they should have a rocky relationship, but  they don’t. They have a very good relationship.The appendices give a nice description of the things we never got to see happen in the book

“…there was great love, and had been since childhood, when Boromir was the helper and protector of Faramir. No jealousy or rivalry had arisen between them since, for their father’s favour or for the praise of men. It did not seem possible to Faramir that any one in Gondor could rival Boromir, her of Denethor, Captain of the White Tower; and of like mind was Boromir” (1032).

Actually

I take it back

Never say never get to see because in the council of Elrond, Boromir literally shows us his relationship with his brother and what kind of person he is. 

“ Therefore my brother, seeing how desperate was our need, was eager to heed the dream and seek for Imadris; but since the way was fully of doubts and danger, I took the journey upon myself,” showing that he willingly put himself in danger to protect his little brother (The Fellowship of the Ring 239).

The reason I bring this up is because I don’t think critics look at what Boromir actually says and does through out the book. I literally don’t understand where or how they would even perceive this as an ulterior motive or that he does anything with ill intent. AT THIS POINT THERE IS NOTHING THAT SUGGEST HE MIGHT BE. BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERY ACTION BOROMIR TAKES IS TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE

 Like maybe they take the first description of Boromir to be negative:

“a tall man fair and noble face, dark-haired and grey-eyed, proud and stern of glance,”

But none of these are inherently negative. Proud and stern aren’t negative words. Proud doesn’t become negative until you pair it with the action of taking the ring from Frodo and THATS ASSUMING that he’s taking it for himself to use and that he himself wants power.

BUT HE DOESN’T- and we’ll get to why later

OR maybe they’re trying to take what Faramir has to say about his brother to the extreme end: 

“‘And this I remember of Boromir as a boy, when we together learned the tale of our sires and the history of our city, that always it displeased him that his father was not king. “How many hundreds of years needs it to make a steward a king, if the king returns not?” he asked. […] Alas poor Boromir. Does that tell you something of him?’

‘It does,’ said Frodo. ‘Yet always he treated Aragorn with honour.’

‘I doubt it not,’ said Faramir. ‘If he were satisfied of Aragron’s claim, as you say, he would greatly reverence him. But the pinch had not yet come. They had not yet reached Minas Tirith or become rivals in her wars” (The Two Towers 655 ).

Which I’m gonna be honest is fair assessment.  But like Boromir’s asking these questions 1. as a kid, and as I myself was a child who hated incompetency, ITS CONFUSING AND FRUSTRATING TO BE DOING ALL THE WORK AND NOT GET THE CREDIT? (RIGHT NOW I’M LOOKING AT PEOPLE WHO REPOST FAN ART WITHOUT THE CREDIT- I WILL FIND YOU AND SMITE YOU)

but anyway, yeah you know what that question about kingship tells me- HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING KING IS???? Like thats not inherently a greed thing- Only if you’re looking at it from like a religious standpoint and blah blah blah Catholic teachings about- but again

Then good boy Frodo looking out for him, I’m gonna cry, points out the obvious- that Boromir respected Aragorn, and Faramir has the nerve to say- yeah but wait until the group project falls apart- then see what happens

and let me just say

Faramir

sir

my boi

YOU CLEARLY HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A GOOD TEAM FOR YOUR GROUP PROJECT BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU. IF ARAGORN WENT IN THERE AND THINGS STARTED GOING WRONG AND PEOPLE STARTED DYING OF COURSE BOROMIR WAS GOING TO BE PISSED- LIKE THEY WAITED HOW LONG FOR WHAT????

It’d be like if someone you didin’t know came over to your house told you not to make dinner in your own house, that they knew their way around the kitchen- WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW YOUR’RE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, proceed to start a fire while trying to fry up some chicken, and then saying they’ve got it under control, but the fire dept can’t put out your oven. I mean thats worst case scenario.

I’m sorry but just the thought of someone I know/am related to coming into my room and touches my goddamn light switch gives me anxiety- BOROMIR HAD TO TRUST THIS STRANGER WITH HIS COUNTRY 

But like the movie tries to get you to agree with the line of thinking, that Boromir is about himself and doing it to glorify himself. take THIS SCENE

You know the one, that shot in Rivendell and Boromir is exploring on his own and casually picks up the sword, you know THE SWORD and kinda low key plays with it for a hot minute- you know, the way you walk by the nerf swords at a walmart and you pick one up to wack your bro with it, but then you remember you’re 23 and he’s 18 and taller than you now so he’ll beat the shit out of you if you start shit. But anyways, Boromir picks up the sword and cuts his finger, is amazed that its still sharp, and then puts it back only to have it teeter off and he walks away quickly like nothing happened. If you’re a small brain critic you’ll see this scene and say “Ah yes, in picking up Narsil Boromir displays a desire for power for himself, and in cutting his finger it shows that this desire is his ultimate demise. He might think he’s ready for power and deserves more, but by walking away he shows that he’s actually irresponsible guffaw” I demand you go back and read that in your guadiest accent. But hear me out. Remember that nerf sword you picked up in the toy aisle, instead of being the grimlin you know you are deep in your soul, you take a few practice swings for your audition fantasy and put it back and start walking away just to realize that the walmart employee had been watching you the whole time and the whole bin of plastic and foam swords comes tumbling down bring with it a Hot Wheels track and collectible cars, and you just look at the employee, and they just look at you, and then you brain just short circuits  and so you keep walking down the aisle away and laugh cry across the store because you don’t know what the fuck just happened. And thtas the energy that scene gives to me.

But I’m getting away from it all because the real arguement against the way this scene is framed is one question he poses right before he attacks Frodo:

“What could not Aragorn do?”  ( The Fellowship of the Ring 389). 

He makes a big speech here about Frodo giving up the ring, but he doesn’t talk about him using it himself, instead he wonders, What would Aragorn be capable of?

Does that sound like a question someone crazed with a drive for power would ask?

I don’t think so

Why even mention Aragorn if he wanted it for himself right?

We’re dissect the fuck out it in the next part don’t you worry.

I think I’m almost done

[growingingreenwood]

I think Tumblr ate my last ask, but which characters in the Tolkien legendarium do you either like/love or dislike/hate and why? And is there anything that you either like or dislike about any of the characters. I think it’s something that you haven’t touched on, and would be really interesting to discuss.

It might have, but honestly girl my asks are so messed up right now that it could be literally anywhere. They seem to randomly switch order sometimes?? Like they all play musical chairs everytime I use my spotify app. 

You’re right, I don’t think I’ve ever really discussed any of that beyond my love for the Silvan elves and the dislike for other elves unless it's framed from their perspective and not really my own opinions. I’ve thought about posting some stuff before, but then usually decide to ‘stay in my own lane’ or forest, as the case me be. But here we go!  

Characters I love that I don’t really ever mention (there are honestly a lot so i will try to stick to my top 3 or 4): 

Maedhors. 

I just have such a deep sympathy for him because (other than the kinslayings) he consistently tries to fix things, make things better, make things work. Like he wasn’t back from his 50 odd years of imprisonment and tortue before he rolled up to Thingols door to discuss how they were going to break up the Beleriend to accommodate all of the Noldor??? He gave his fathers crown away to his cousin to better unite the people?? I understand the repercussions and implications that come with Kinslaying, but even those actions I see as actions to try and help. Help his brothers, because if they don’t get the jewels back then they all get sent to the void. None of them come back from the halls. He is the oldest out of the seven brothers and just must feel such a crushing weight on him to do better and be better….. And it just …. Never really works out for him. In fact, most times it backfires horrible. 

Maglor: 

Pretty similar reasons to his brother tbh but also additionally I have such a soft spot for him with little Erond and Elros. The decisions the sons of Feanor made when the took the oath was rash and admittedly a bit… extreme.. But some of them really do seem to make attempts of righting their wrongs outside of their business with the oath. And honestly, I have huge respect for anybody who can know that people's opinions of them will never change but still try their best anyways.  

Eomer: 

I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH OKAY omg. He’s just. He’s just SO extra, but also so soft and caring and the relationship between him and Eowyn melts my heart. That scene when he finds her in the Return of the King will always put me into cardiac arrest for at least one entire minute. He is SO loyal to his uncle and his country, and he is a really brave and honest man. Plus, that moment in the books when both he and Araogrn casually lean on their swords LITERALLY in the middle of a battle (I wanna say helms deep??) and have a pleasant little chit chat amongst each other. Like how can you NOT love this man??? Impossible.  

While on the topic of underappreciated siblings, can we talk about FARAMIR 

Faramir: 

Ugh my beautiful little idiot. Homeboy speaks Sindarin but yet could not translate Cirith Ungol (which is Sindarian) to warn Sam and Frodo what might be in the tunnels Gollum wants to take them through. When Cirith Ungol literally means “Path of the Spider.” LIKE??? Eowyn confesses her love for him, and THIS MANS just fucking nods along, sitll holding her hand and goes: “Yeah, honestlly, who wouldnt be in love with Aragorn?” A masterpiece. Anyways, he’s also just like an all around good person who just has some pretty aggressive daddy issues. But his rangers LOVE him, and its obvious his people do too. I just wish he could have had more sympathy over the loss of his brother (aka best frined) 

50/50 person

Denethor: 

Alright, I will be the first to admit that the movie Denethor deserves what he got, I hate that bitch. But I will also admit that this man was done wrong in the films, and was aggressively villainized him far past what he actually was. Was he the best person in the world? No. The best father? No. But did he do his best with what he could when suddenly an enemy long thought dead as FUUUCCKKK suddenly appears right behind you? Yes. He absolutely did. I don really think that he gets enough credit for keeping Gondor running and functioning as it slipped further and fathern into darkness. They ended up living in a similar situation as Thranduil did, maybe for not as long but still. So like, if it weren’t for the movie I don’t really think I would have a strong opinion about him in any manner, so there you go. 

People I hate, and why: 

Eol: He’s just …. Creepy as fuck. He’s weird and possessive and controlling and BLAH. Who decided to kill their own son just because they themselves are insisting to do something that is forbidden? Eol. What did he do instead? Kill his wife. Good fucking job. 

Maeglin: Eol’s son. Also cringy and creepy. His uncle took him in even after his father murdered his mother right in front of them both, treated him like a son and did everything he could for him. But that wasn’t enough for Maeglin, and he couldn't take “uhm, not thank you. You are my cousin and being around you makes me uncomfortable” as an answer, and so betrays his city and gets everybody killed instead. Cool. Sick move. 

Okay, so I don’t hate the character but the story overall annoys me. Beren & Luthien: 

Like, I get it. Its dramatic and romantic and heroic and all of that. I’m not arguing. I also think that Luthien is basically the coolest woman to ever exist in any world at any point. But how their love story is presented overall? Eh. There are cool scenes and stuff that happens BECAUSE OF the love story, like Finrod biting a werewolf to death, Luthien talking to Carcharoth like he’s a grumpy little puppy, her defeating Morgoth and also somehow convincing Mandos to let Beren out??? All scenes are sick as fuck. But I just, still don't really understand where such deep and dramatic emotions of love for one another come from to DO all of those things. Ya know??? Idk. It’s still cute and sweet don’t get me wrong, its just really really annoys me that its framed as this “end all be all” idea of what perfect love looks like. I think what I am trying to say is that the story of Beren and Luthien seems to be blown out of proportion to me, and the bigger it grows the more it irks me. 

[flying-elliska]

lotrblogging pt 2 - Return of the King extended edition

- I just love this movie so much, it’s just a collection of big narrative payoffs and it’s so satisfying ! 

- I honestly hate Denethor more than Sauron ; he’s just such a compelling antagonist, that despicable figure of authority that lets his biases completely corrupt everything, seeing only what he wants to see, and a good example of the dangers of unfettered pessimism that passes off cowardice as ‘realism.’ And of course what would a story be without at least one terrible father figure, I mean. Also the noble but pointless sacrifice of Faramir/Pippin singing/the triviality of Denethor’s terrible table manners still gives me so much chills. i can’t help but think of Tolkien going through wwi, one of the most egregious examples of brave young men being sacrificed to the pride of older officials, safe behind the battle lines, for completely trivial reasons. Ugh. 

- i think what is so amazing about this movie is that most of the heroes go through a moment of being completely hopeless : Pippin and Gandalf in an assieged Minas Tirith, the Rohhirim charging a much bigger army, Frodo and Sam having to go through Mordor and talk about not coming back, the last battle at the Black Gate they know they can’t win but is meant as a diversion, etc. And from their limited perspective, it really is. But they decide to fight regardless ; and then they realize they’re not as alone as they thought ; because everyone decided to fight. It’s like the opposite of the Prisonner’s Dilemma, and it’s like the Good Ending for so many of the problems facing the world and it’s such a satisfying narrative and ugh - i’m emo

- i already talked about this re : masculinity and shit but i just love how emotionally open everyone is in this movie ! it’s just so fucking delightful ! i think this is part of why i loved the movies so much as a neuroatypical kid who had trouble regulating/expressing emotion. It’s also very straightforward, with little irony or second degree or whatever. very relaxing. I mean, take Aragorn, in the books he is honestly kind of boring, he’s so aloof and serious and remote, but in the movies he just cares so much ! i mean that look of utter devastation on his face when he gets out of the caves and thinks he hasn’t been able to convince the ghost army ! beautiful !!! it could be cheesy or trite but they just play it so earnestly and fully, it’s just !!!!! yeah !!!!

- honestly throwback to my teen self having a crush on a different character everytime i rewatched the movies there are a lot of beautiful people in there

- i find it very unrealistic that there is not one culture in there that has warrior women. and very bland. especially the Rohirrim who are kind of Viking-like, and have a word for ‘shieldmaiden’ apparently but there’s only one around ? and what about the elves who are all supposedly badass and indestructible ? i’m sure any elf maiden could like, seriously fuck up a human dude, also having thousands of years to train. gender roles being so unquestionably replicated in fantasy settings where they don’t necessarily makes sense is so annoyinnnng. that said, Eowyn’s ‘i am no man’ moment of ultimate badassery is just....still so incredible. But I’m glad they didn’t include the moment where Eomer is all ‘war is the province of men’ in the cinematic version because that makes him look like a serious dick tbh and he already doesn’t have a lot of personality so...

- i know it’s based on ancient myth where these archetypes are frequent but like, the worldbuilding is really full of like...um...uncomfortable tropes, like the evil races concept is one thing, but then the movie topped it up with some really problematic design choices, like making some of the men aligned with Sauron look distinctively middle-eastern which, yikes. As a product of its time there’s a lot worse, but i like to think if they remade it today they would be more aware of this, as I am watching these movies as an adult. And also, glad that fantasy is moving away from these tropes today, at least in books. 

- man i love Legolas. he just seems high half of the time, spouting off epic poetry in the middle of a creepy cave full of skulls that’s only tangentially related to whatever is happening. he stops a minute to be a snarky badass, then he goes back to thinking about poetic stacks of mist and golden leaves or whatever. legend. absolute goals. also that drink-off with gimly where he wins and is like ‘oh my fingers are tingling’ with a delicate finger motion. so stupid. amazing. 

- monarchy is bad etc but i love narratives about kingship/leadership as acts of service, and stuff about the king being linked to the land and if he fucks up then everything goes bad, he can’t just do whatever, as a proto-pattern of accountability of power, and mankind having to be a good steward. and Aragorn as a healer. 

- i skipped the bits with the giant spider. when there’s a giant spider in a movie i always make a point of honor to skip it. because that’s just unnecessary. 

-  Sam and Frodo’s relationship is so beautiful, ugh. And honestly it kills me everytime, how there’s these big epic battles but they’re put in parallel with the small acts of compassion and kindness of these two, and with Gollum as well. How these small, personal struggles matter just as much. And of course, the ending, with Frodo failing and Gollum stealing the ring from him and then falling into the pit of Mount Doom...That moment puzzled me for a long time. It highlights the importance of Frodo’s compassion, but it’s also very disturbing, because it shows how much is left to chance in the end, like the fate of the world wasn’t determined by a grand gesture or someone making the right choice. This probably haunted Frodo for the rest of his days. Maybe it shows the importance of putting yourself on the right path ; but also in the end, so much of history really comes down to chance and unrelated stuff. 

- overal it just holds up so well. the visual effects are still mostly incredible and there is such craftsmanship in there, i can’t believe those movies are almost 20 yrs old. i remember my parents allowing me to skip school to go see Return of the King with them, felt like one of the best days of my life lmao. i think part of what makes them so great - compared to stuff like GoT, which had also amazing craftsmanship, but the story really doesn’t make me want to rewatch at all - is that there is this sense of wonder about it. (and they’re not trying to avoid being seen as fantasy, lol.) It’s not shy about the whole ‘and here’s a totally different world, isn’t that awesome !’ thing. And the character arcs are just incredible. It’s far from being flawless, it’s very pompous at times, it’s a zero in terms of diversity, and I can see that more clearly now. But I like that it’s aware of its own myth-like aspects ; stuff that I used to find lame, like Gandalf calling the moth or the eagles, bother me a lot less, because the point is not Realism!!!. It’s the metaphor of small gestures and signs of hope in times of tyranny and mass violence. And that holds on its own. 

[estelofthedunedain]

4 and 5!

4. Have you made any outright changes to the canon material in order to write your muse the way you wanted (entire scenes you chose to omit, chapters you say never existed, things you assume were never said, etc.)?

The answer to this will depend on what you consider “canon”. As for me, I don’t care what anyone else says, it’s not canon if it’s not established by JRRT himself

And that canon is the one I try to follow to the best of my ability.

If you consider the movies canon, well, my Aragorn is very different from that. The differences are all book-based but for those who need a reminder here’s the most important ones:

Attitude towards elves and humans. Aragorn does not have a dismissive view towards the race of men, and actually believes they have a future (fourth age will be the age of men, whether for good or for bad). If he had such issues in the past (and well, he probably did!), he’d managed to resolve them during the events of LotR.

Attitude towards kinghood. Aragorn was in fact more than happy to accept his heritage. This is book canon; my headcanon adds that he did have second thoughts sometimes but never to the point of trying to run away from it. He’d hoped and feared it at the same time, but his sense of duty prevailed.

Plus, book canon Elrond set Aragorn’s kingship over Gondor and Arnor as a prerequisite for letting him marry Arwen, which was an additional motivation for him (and for Arwen to support his ascension to the throne :P)

Relationship with Arwen and Elrond. According to the books (LotR appendices) Arwen and Aragorn were betrothed when he was about 49 years old - several decades before the quest for the ring. At the time of that story, this topic wasn’t disputed. This is also why I am reluctant to RP with movie based Elronds, as they are incompatible with how I view Aragorn and Elrond’s relationship.

Also, Narsil got reforged and named Andúril before the fellowship left Rivendell.

After the battle of Hornburg/visiting Saruman in Isengard. The movies don’t mention it but as Theoden, Aragorn and the others were leaving Isengard, they were met by the grey company - Aragorn’s kinsmen (as well as Elrond’s sons, Elladan and Elrohir) who had set out to help him in the war.

Dead army. I suppose more of a King of the Dead thing more than an Aragorn thing but that scene where the king complains “that sword has been broken”? Yeah, not a thing. The dead army was actually rather relieved to finally get the chance to fulfil their oath and be free.

5. What is an aspect of your muse’s canon material or canon existence that you never had the opportunity to explore but really want to?

Oh boy. There’s a whole bunch of stuff the canon hardly speaks of but I’d like to get to explore! Including:

- post-war chilling/building up friendship with Éowyn, Éomer, Imrahil or Faramir (or perhaps all at the same time)

- various kinds of threads with Arwen, both pre and post war

- interactions with the other Dúnedain, eg. when Aragorn’s only just learned of his heritage and comes to live among them for the first time, or when he comes back from Echtelion’s service and is filthy rich by their standards

- interactions with Elrond when Estel was a kid, probably mostly dialogue-based

- possibly interacting with some of Thorin’s company during their quest (Estel was 10 at the time and lived in Rivendell)

- idk something with Imrahil and/or child Théoden during Aragorn’s service as Thorongil?

also you know what I’m just gonna copy that thing I wrote in my drafts wayyy before i went on that long hiatus and never published

- Interactions with his mother, both childhood and later, preferably plotted

- Tiny bby Aragorn was brough to Rivendell and is not coping well with the ‘scary’ new environment. With an Elrond muse

- various stuff w/Elrond’s sons (together or individually), maybe they’re teaching him something? Or they’re hunting orcs together or something more complex [if the latter it should be plotted]

- interactions with Arwen from before [maybe including] the time he confessed his feelings to her (or maybe she noticed and wanted to be clear about it? the more likely option imo)

- interactions with Arwen during their time in Lórien

- anything with Arwen tbh as long as it’s canon plausible

- interactions with the other rangers when he’s young and inexperienced and has to adapt to the ranger lifestyle etc. [plotted]

- interactions with the other rangers after he returns from that 20+ year long absence (that is when he served under Thengel & Echtelion), is probably filthy rich [for their standards] and wow there’s so many stuff to tell about what happenned all those years, both from them and from him

- interactions with child!Théoden during Thorongil’s service in Rohan

- interactions with Denethor during Thorongil’s service in Gondor. I need to see the sass (even if it’s just crack.. even better)

- I know many Lego-muns like to follow the idea that Legolas and Aragorn met soon after botfa as the movies suggest, but consider this: a version in which they meet during Aragorn’s first visit to Mirkwood (which I think is during his search for Gollum)

- the not-so-fun journey with Gollum from Dead Marshes to Mirkwood

- something shortly before the fellowship sets out from Rivendell (with anyone who was there, fellowship or not)

- Meeting the hobbits at the Prancing Pony, after the war (with or without Frodo)

- Meeting ol’ Butterbur after the war [probably most awkward for him and most amusing for Aragorn tbh]

- the scenes that the books mentioned, but didn’t go into detail (with whoever was involved; basically the off-screen stuff)

- the palantír scene with Halbarad (and maybe Sauron)

- meeting his dad in the afterlife not really canon but sheeesh

- tbh one of my biggest wishlist things is (are) many short, ‘unimportant’ interactions. Perhaps with some random people he met on his journeys, talked to like once, and never saw them again kinda stuff? Or short interactions that might’ve been common (with the same person I mean) but never evolved into anything big or important. Interaction with the people who he never got to know very intimately, and neither did they know him that well. Seriously though I’d really love such things, even if said characters only appear as NPCs in other threads..

[ocular-intercourse]

i had a really intense asher dream, except his father was 'just' a massive asshole, his brother was only a few years younger (which was really fun tbh their interactions were great, we watched the second lotr part yesterday i think i was channeling some boromir & faramir) he wrote books instead of doing photography and he was dating a girl, he fled to the family's vacation home somewhere in England (though there was a sand beach there somewhere so the location might have shifted somewhere along the line) to get away from his dad for a while, he was being led around by the groundskeeper & he kept taking pictures of stuff to send to "girl devin" to complain about his father's incredible decadence, like priceless art that his father bought but never even bothered to hang on the walls, imagine a van gogh just rotting away I some closet, with captions like '..this fucking asshole', his brother came to hang out somewhere along the way, they had literal rodin like statues of the family standing in the livingroom hasdgh cause family portraits are not enough you know, eventually his dad stopped by too to pressure asher into making his last book a success somehow cause he had something to prove to some ppl in the publishing world and asher was not allowed to be a failure, and in the end "girl devin" was there too to surprise him (asher's brother helped plan) and asher freaked the fuck out cause he did not want his dad to find out and didn't trust him to not have hidden cameras installed everywhere around the house

all in all very fun, would recommended

[sorrowssinger]

1, 3, 16 (for ALL of your muses)

1) It's a toss up of Maglor, Nolofinwe, and Turgon honestly. I can manage them all with some ease depending on my mood and other circumstances but yeah it's those three.

3) Nolofinwe is the best, followed by... Elrond

16) This is a bit of a list tbh.

Maglor: Something with Maedhros or the cousins. Also someone discovering either the abuse he's suffering (Aman) and dragging him to someone that can do something about it or someone noticing him self harming and trying to call him out on it.

Maedhros: Something with Maglor or the other brothers... basically family angst or hurt comfort specifically after his rescue.

Celegorm: Nothing comes to mind rn... wait a plot where he's hurt but hiding it for some reason.

Curufin: Something with Aredhel tbh. (I started shipping them and can't stop) Or something set after the mess with Luthien. (Maybe including my idea of him being hurt? Because this is Curvo and he won't take being attacked like that without cause.)

Caranthir: Nothing comes to mind.

Feanor: Something with Nolofinwe, where they don't actually hate each other like 99% of the fandom assumes. Also something with Arafinwe (see previous comment). Again family angst or fluff.

Finwe: Again something with Nolofinwe. The feels here! The sense of betrayal and the realization of betraying him. Think of it!

Nolofinwe: Something with Finwe where they can talk. Also possibly something with Indis. See Finwe for this and my hc on his relationships on that blog.

Manwe: Nothing comes to mind. (I lie but I don't wanna pressure anyone with anything) Oh wait Dark Manwe stuff. Think about it, this guy literally controls the air so lightning and fires and all kinds of stuff would be half under his control too.

Faramir: Something with Denethor, more book Denethor than movie Denethor so an actual parent type of interaction, or Imrahil, his uncle, or just stuff in general. (FARA YOU NEED TO COOPERATE BEFORE MAKING DEMANDS YOU TWIT)

Boromir: A plot where he's sick and needs to be taken care of but won't rest because he's an idiot and 'Mordor could attack at any moment'.

Turgon: More Gondolindrim or Finrod. (Also shorter stuff I cry because everything is so long but this brat won't let me write short things.) Maybe something where he is suffering a temporary sense loss.

Ecthelion: Just more stuff. I don't know his character well to say anything specific and writing more would definitely help with that.

Gil: Finno or Nolo stuff, him interacting with his dad or grandpa. Also Elrond stuff because the Herald is important!

And that's all I'm doing because that's plenty for ideas.

[pompadourpink]

Le seigneur des anneaux

 This is going to be long and painful, but lots of things are.

My boyfriend is watching LOTR. I don’t understand anything about that movie.

Basically he told me it was about two hobbits who were trying to go at Mordor’s so they could put a ring into a volcano. So i asked who was that Mordor and he laughed. Incomprehensible movie. And those guys need three movies of three hours each to go at Mordor’s, I mean. WHO’S MORDOR? WHAT DO HIS PARENTS DO? WHY DOES MORDOR HAVE A VOLCANO AT HIS PLACE? given your reactions I believe I’m saying something dumb. There’s the guy from lost with the Hobbits and the guy on the pony looks like Dumbledore.

SCOOP : MORDOR IS NOT A PERSON, IT’S A REGION. LIKE CREUSE. What is this community of long haired people who walk around in disgusting forests but keep their clothes white like snow? During which century is this whole LOTR thing supposed to take place? spoiler : BOROMIR died to save us. Boromir also had long hair. Jesus also had long hair. And jesus died to save us. Could Boromir be Jesus? Mystery at the Mordor.

Why won’t Dumbledore use his powers to go to Mordor? should we trust and follow a superweird being with a duck voice who wants to steal the ring? Tbh I haven’t seen the movie but I wouldn’t have trusted the duck voiced guy. Scoop : the duck voiced guy is named Gaulume. Ok so there are dragons that are flying but people would much rather walk for three entire movies to Mordor. So we’re watching a movie where we have hobbits, wizards, dragons, a talking ring, but only one woman.

And the woman arrives to say ‘Uh, did you have a vision? Did I have a baby in it or what?’ THANKS GIRL, THANKS SCRIPTWRITERS. Let’s not even talk about the fact that your movie filled with dragons and white men with long hair does not have a single black or arabic or asian person. THERE’S ANOTHER GIRL, AND SHE HAS A SWORD, EYYY! So wait why are they fighting now? Answer of the TV : the Nazguls. What is a Nazgul, I don’t know. No one ever explains anything in that movie. But again, are we supposed to have a lot of explanations in a movie that has a TALKING RING?

Fuck me, we all know the duck voiced guy shouldn’t be trusted. WHY IS HE STILL HERE? WHY ARE WE TRUSTING HIM? God dammit, it’s like Dora the Explorer with Swiper who won’t stop stealing stuff in every episode. Hi I’m Golume I’m going to steal the talking ring oh no the hobbits have unmasked me once again. WHO ATE ALL OF THE ELVISH BREAD?

GOLUME ATE THE ELVISH BREAD! WE’VE UNMASKED HIM! Sam you have eaten the elvish bread. So I don’t care if you’ve been coming with me bare foot in the forest since two movies of three hours, you’re going back at your mum’s. Boromir’s brother is called Baramir pls. Parents weren’t too inspired.

They’re like the three little pigs. Baramir, Boromir and Burumir. - Master hobbit, can you sing? - Yeah sure - go ahead - Theee ootheeerrr niiighttt --- What is this shit? Scandal in my tl, Boromir’s brother is actually called Faramir, not Baramir. Nonetheless, Boromir Faramir you didn’t try too hard. Does every character in that movie actually have long hair? Like no one wants a lil angled bob? I’m sent by a person who’s dying and doesn’t have a lot of tiiiiime. So I’m goiiing tooo speeeak veeeryyy slooowlyyyy.

The armies of Sauron have walked on the Minasterith. I DIDN’T GET ANYTHING. OH MY GOD IT’S HAGRID. The whole hp cast is there. - Where are you going? - not this time. But... you didn’t answer the question. BE CAREFUL OF THE WIND THAT TALKS AND GETS THE HORSES TO RUN AWAY. Why are they going to go to the Gondor if they have to go to the Mordor? The characters are just as lost as I am. BF intervention : Sam and Frondon are going to Mordor.

Who’s Frondon? So far I’ve seen like a million characters and only three women. we even had giants playing the drums but three women. Intervention from my tl : Frondon is the guy who didn’t like his elvish bread being eaten. Oh alright the giants weren’t drumming, they were pushing catapults. But again it’s a lot more useful to have catapults than drums. 

Fight scene : flying dragon screaming HOOOAAAAAA. Fight scene : catapult, dragon, falling people, screaming dragon, running people, scared hobbit. Fight scene : flying dragon, falling wall, Dumbledore - who’s a good fighter for an old guy -, WHOOAARR, stick kick, ugly people. So now we’re having some kind of animal, a mix between an elephant, a crocodile and a rhino.

So you’re trusting Golum even though we told you not to trust Golum and now you’re straight out going in a creepy cave with him. SAM HAS FOUND THE MAGIC BREAD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN. Frondon has light in a bottle. LIGHT IN A BOTTLE. There’s a giant spider, I can’t look anymore so I’ll just make the noises. Noises : OH OH AAAAA OHHHH WHY ARE YOU GRUMPY STUCK IN MY WEB SOON YOU’LL BE EATEN. Noises : GNOOOO GNAAOOUUUU OOOOO AAAAA AAA AAAAA GNAAAAA *pew* (It does look like I’m live tweeting a porn)

Wait why is Golum called Smirgeul? (untranslatable joke) After three hours of movie and a giant spider, Frondon has finally understood that Golum was not a good person and threw him from the top of a hole. When you think you’ve let go of Sam to stay with an asshole with a duck voice just for some toast, you’re probably pissed off. Going back on the fight : we’ve destroyed a giant door with a giant tree’s trunk. Why not. Coming from a movie where we have a talking ring and wind that scared horses off nothing can surprise me anymore.

The weird spider is back. FRONDON HAS BEEN BITTEN BY THE SPIDER. SHE IS GOING TO EAT HIM END OF THE MOVIE! Oh no she’s wrapping him in a web. Which is giving Sam the time to arrive with the bottle of light, his dick and his knife (French expression, don’t ask). And mostly a useless speech. What is this shitty spider, not even able to kill a tiny, slow guy who can’t fight. Frondon is dead. He’s wrapped in some web. we’ll see him again in ‘The Mummy returns’.

Sam to himself : Sam, you’re an idiot. Well, mate, yes. When does that movie end? It’s boring. You should see my bf and my cat looking pumped by the movie. Luckily, you’re here, Twitter. OHLALA AMONGST THE SIX MILLIONS OF KNIGHTS WE HAVE : a woman. DEATH DEATH DEAAAAAAAAATH *TRUMPET* But just fight people, let’s get this over with. and now I don’t even know if they got to Minas Terite. 

Faramir is dead? Well well well they fight and fight again BUT WHEN ARE WE ARRIVING TO MORDOR SO THIS WHOLE THING CAN BE OVER? And now we’ve got giant elephants. I mean elephants are generally pretty big anyway but those look like the Kaiju from Pacific Rim. TONIGHT I’M CANCELLING THE APOCALYPSE. Hobbit : I didn’t believe this would end this way. Dumbledore : End? No, this journey doesn’t end here. Economiss : mate, it’s 00.46. This has to stop I’ve got a life of my own outside of Mordor.

OH COME ON THIS IS GETTING NUTS. They have straight out invoked an army of ghosts. - No man can kill me. *sweep of a sword in the face and takes off the helmet* - I am no man. #endofthegame. I absolutely have no idea what’s going on. There’s a giant elephant running everywhere. The elephant is about ten meters/thirty two feet tall but John Long Hair manages to kill him with ONE arrow in the back. Ha, someone dies. The stylish girl is sad.

OMG JUST DIE SO THE MOVIE CAN BE OVER. He’s dead, the woman’s crying. And after all that time we’re still not closer from Mordor. FREE THE GHOSTS! THE GHOSTS ARE FREE! PISS OFF, THIS SPARKLING SHIRT IS MINE. Is this scene in LORT or Rupaul drag race? (there’s no equivalent in France sorry) Tbh I can’t bear it anymore, this movie is too boring.

I’m going to stick you like a pig. WHEN WILL WE BE TALKING ABOUT LAICITY (religion neutrality) WITHIN THE MORDOR’S DINING HALLS? Sam give him back the ring, remember what happened with Frondon believed you ate his toasts. - Come on mr Frondon, you are not going to cross the Mordor completely naked aren’t you? - YOLO

So now there is a magic eye at the top of a tower. This movie was already pretty wtf. But when you reach Mordor all hell breaks loose. 01.09 AM, we’re FINALLY getting to the volcano. if Frondon doesn’t throw his fucking ring in the volcano after three times three hours he really doesn’t respect us. ‘I don’t have the memory of any food, I’m naked in the shadows’ SHUT THE FUCK UP AND THROW THE FUCKING RING IN THE FUCKING VOLCANO. Sam, Frondon has sent you away because of flipping toast but you are going to carry him on your back anyway? Have some self respect.

Look mr Frondon : A DOOR. Sam, Nobel price of the captain-obviousness. FUCK ME GOLUM IS BACK. WHY? Haaa, that fucking twat Frondon was pretending he was knocked out to be carried. As soon as Sam starting fighting golum, he gets up and starts running. HE’S GOING TO DESTROY THE RING! 

THROW THE FUCKING RING FRONDON I’M DONE. - WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR FRONDON? That’s also what I’m wondering, Sam. I can’t. OOOOOHHHH THAT FUCKING FUCK. THAT FUCKING FUCK. THAT FUCKING FUCK FUCKER. I’m being told it’s FRODON, not Frondon.

FRODON THE FUCKING FUCK HAS PUT THE RING ON. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM TO THROW IN THE FUCKING VOLCANO FOR MORE THAN TWO HOURS. Golum came to eat Frodon’s finger so he can take the ring alright. it was deserved. he deserved to suffer. had i been in that movie i would have eaten all of his fingers. lol Golum fell with the ring that fuckhead. THE RING HAS BEEN DESTROYED! WE CAN FINALLY GO TO BED! you destroy the ring, an entire tower collapses. well then, a normal day in Mordor.

- I see the brandevain river, Gandalf’s fireworks. - Roseline is dancing with rubans in her hair. NO ONE FUCKING CARES. you got the ring melted, now you’re going home and that’s it. OH MY GOD THE EAGLES. so all this time we’ve been SUFFERING three times three hours watching that fucking movie and WE ACTUALLY ONLY NEEDED TO CALL THE EAGLES. how much do they cost if they only appear once. WHY WEREN’T THEY THERE BEFORE? 

[morwensteelsheen]

I struggle with figuring out what the expectations are for aristocratic marriage in Gondor and Rohan. One thing I’ve toyed about with in my head is treating LOTR as not just unreliably narrated, but as super unreliably narrated, and taking ‘the Steward and the King’ not as gospel, but essentially as a bit of PR/marketing. Because wow, isn’t it really, really convenient that the Steward of Gondor/second most powerful man in the realm gets married to the most powerful woman of the Riddermark, Gondor’s closest ally? Isn’t that a little too convenient? What if Frodo just copies down the press release given to him by Faramir and instead of being this stunning high romance, he and Éowyn are basically just a run-of-the-mill political marriage?

(Obviously I don’t believe this fully, but it is an interesting thought.)

Here’s where it becomes harder to justify though, and here’s why I’m really confused about how marriage works for both Gondor and Rohan’s nobility. 

If political marriage were a thing in either of them, it stands to reason that it’s quite strange that neither Boromir nor Théodred are married with kids. The appendices say that Denethor ‘married late’ for having married Finduilas when he was forty-six, but when Boromir dies he’s forty-one. So he’s not far off at all. Théodred is the same age as Boromir, and we know that Théoden was married to Elfhild at least by the time that he was thirty, though he probably married her before that. So Théodred’s really late. 

So not only do neither of the heirs have kids, they’re not even married. Even if they didn’t have kids, you would think that, if political marriages were the norm, they’d be shipped off post-haste, right? Dol Amroth was secured in its loyalty to MT through Denethor marrying Finduilas (and obviously the whole happy go luck proto-nationalism shit that’s going on), and it seems like the rest of the major provinces are mostly in line, so why not use a marriage to secure the alliance with the Mark? I would have Boromir married off to Éowyn ASAP since there are no women to marry off to Théodred. But the fact that that doesn’t happen is interesting, I think. And also really complicates my HC that Éomer/Lothíriel is mostly a political thing, tbh. 

It’s all even more interesting in light of Faramir’s line in TTT where he’s explaining why the Kings of Gondor fell apart:

Childless lords sat in aged halls musing on heraldry...

Because, like, buddy, you are a childless lord sitting in an aged hall. And not only that, but since his brother was unmarried and childless before his death, he was probably always going to become the Steward at some point anyways, even if only briefly. So it’s not like he gets to claim amnesty via spare-status, because until the moment Boromir had kids (which he never did), he was constantly in secondary heir mode. So??? why wasn’t Faramir married off either? My dude was THIRTY-SIX during the war. He could’ve had fuckin hunners of kids by that point, but you’re telling me everyone was just gucci with him maintaining bachelor status?

Also, Faramir pointing it out does have the effect of politicising marriage somewhat. We know that Faramir’s somewhat out of step politically with the rest of Gondor, at least that in he appears to be very, very obsessed with bringing back the Númenor stuff and criticising Gondor over the last five hundred or so years. So if he’s diagnosed this childless lords problem as a problem that led to Gondor’s decay, he’s probably doing it because others don’t really see it that way. ‘Others’ here could be either Boromir (see the bottom of this post) or it could be Gondorians generally, we can’t know. Either way, Lord Faramir, thirty-six years old and unmarried, seems to think that lords not ensuring there were heirs to their houses was a problem. That contradiction/incidental hypocrisy is noteworthy!

I’ve typically taken this in my fics as an indication that the war was quite an intense and cataclysmic thing even before the official War of the Ring starts, and that all of these guys are way, way too busy dealing with that to consider marrying, but that opens up the question — when did things get so dire that securing the future of the ruling houses got deprioritised? Sauron openly declared himself in TA2951, but twenty-six-ish years later both Denethor and Théoden get married, so marriage is still at play in ~TA2976. Not a huge amount happens between 2976 and 3018 in explicit canon. We know that Elrond recalls Arwen from Lórien in 3009 because everything east of the Misty Mountains is becoming dangerous. By this time Boromir and Théodred are 31 and Faramir is 26, which made me wonder if it would be reasonable to have expected any of them to be married at that point. I did some quick math to see how old the title-holders were when they were married, stopping at the fifth generation back to accommodate Thorondir, who was the first Steward to not crack a century of life. Here’s what I’ve got:

(Where an actual wedding year wasn’t given, I based it on the year their eldest child was born.)

(Worth noting that Denethor’s not that much older than Ecthelion likely was when he married, so the ‘married old’ remark could instead be a reference to when Gondorians got married generally, not specifically to the Númenórean lot.)

There’s a chance all these guys got married way, way earlier and just spent ages childless, but… I sort of doubt that. Also I’m doing this based on what I can access from my laptop, so both HoME and PoME might contradict me or give more specific dates. If that’s the case — sorry! 

It is interesting that if we accept HoME’s dating of Faramir and Éowyn’s wedding as TA3020 as canon, then Faramir (married at 37) is actually younger than the average for the previous five generations of Stewards. So is Éomer, because by marrying Lothíriel in 3021 he’s actually just getting in early by a a year or so. 

Regardless, it makes statistical sense that neither Boromir nor Faramir are married by 3009, though Théodred is sort of pushing it. Certainly by 3018 when he dies he’s really taking the piss, but Boromir is still sort of in the clear (but getting up there), and Faramir’s kind of fine. 

We know, at least, that there’s a canonical acknowledgement of Boromir’s bachelor status, per Appendix A:

Rather he was a man after the sort of King Eärnur of old, taking no wife and delighting chiefly in arms.

No accounting for Théodred, though based on Faramir’s bitching about Rohan and Gondor becoming more alike, you could probably chalk it up to the same thing as Boromir. I note, however, that Théodred’s need is slightly more urgent because in absence of an heir from Théodred, the throne would then pass to Éomer. I think we might reasonably assume that he wouldn’t have a problem with this (Théoden might have, given how effective Wormtongue’s manoeuvring was), but we can’t know for certain.

Worth pointing out as well that Elphir’s son Alphros is born in 3017, so it’s not like nobody is getting it on. 

I was interested in what the numbers for the ladies would look like, and obviously this is complicated by the fact that there’s like twenty named human women and even fewer with birth dates/marriage dates, but here’s what the table looks like:

(Because so many of the women we know of are women who crossed between Rohan and Gondor, I put them in columns based on their birth culture, not where they married into.)

Also here’s some fuel for the age gap discourse:

(Can you tell I’m procrastinating my dissertation???)

Anyways, outside of some apparent liberalism towards the ol’ begetting of heirs, there’s not a huge amount of information floating around to help us understand how or if marriage was understood politically in Rohan and Gondor. You get bits and pieces (Aragorn’s ‘no niggard are you, Éomer’ comment at Éowyn and Faramir’s trothplighting, for example, Wormtongue being after Éowyn, for another), but nothing extended or particularly explicit. 

Just one of those things, really… 

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 1)

Me: okay but I don’t remember the back half of WoR, I should really, really finish the reread before starting... Also me: okay, buuuuuuuuuuut................what if I just..............start

[insert evilkermit.jpeg here]

There are a few relevant points of information:

Tags: Megan reads OB and Oathbringer spoilers. (I’ll also have housekeepers on there, like Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive, and Oathbringer, but those first two are the important ones.)

Everything will be under a readmore.

Above the readmore will be the page numbers covered in that liveblog, so you’ll know how far I’ve gotten (and that way, if you’ve read that far you’ll be okay to read the lb).

There's…going to be a lot of swearing? I have learned that I have no control over my language when I get overly emotional and I feel like I’m going to spend a lot of this book overly emotional. I would like to apologize in advance, and while I promise to try to keep my swearing to a minimum, there might be more than a few bad words.

Shameless self-promotion for the previous two liveblogs: WoK and WoR.

I’m pretty sure that’s all the important bits. Enjoy!!

Part One encompasses pages 1-90 (subsequent parts)

*screams quietly into the ether forever*

PROLOGUE

hoooolly shiiiiiiiittt: Eshonai

Please tell me this means we’ll finally learn why the Parshendi killed Gavilar.......

SHE’S SO EXCITED I’M SO SAD I hate knowing what’s happened to her

...the Parshendi...didn’t know about the parshmen? what? the heck?

I’m....baby Esh is so excitable and curious and I.. love her. and I’m so. so sad. that she loses this.

“an indoor privy with running water, a concept she still didn’t understand.” Who does, babe. Who does.

me, every time amaram appears: “fucking asshole. fuck off fckkkk” I just.... hiss like a cat every time his name appears on a page. I hate him. ARGH.

I spelled his name as “aramaram” and had to go correct it I was so upset he was HERE that I forgot how to spell.

“Traitors who had abandoned their gods to be free.” And they FEARED the return of their gods, before stormform and the Everstorm. They feared it--because they were not free... But...stormform isn’t freedom, and their gods are back and....history repeating itself?

Also, the fact that Gavilar took the time to learn her name is very endearing and like... Gavilar was A Good, guys. He tried so hard.

NOOPE NEVERMIND, BAD, ACTUALLY. THAT’S SO SELFISH WHAT THE HECK

“Bring back your evil, destructive, enslaving gods so that we can have our nice, honorable, fighty ones back please.” NO, THAT’S SO DISGUSTING THAT’S SO SELFISH WTH

GAVIILAARRRR. I BELIEVED IN YOU! I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU

WAIT, so he was getting the visions before Dalinar? Did we know this already? That makes sense... it’s very Boromir/Faramir, tbh, but like... what, one died, and Honor was like “welp. guess we’ll try his bro”

wait, okay, so ...the black sphere that he gives Szeth...........what. Esh knows what it is--so it’s some kind of spren. But it’s not the angerspren/hatespren that they bond with for stormform--those are red. So what’s...this one? Voidspren? Are there voidspren? Voidspren to create voidbringers...presumably more powerful than stormform.

I AM CONCERNED.

PART ONE

okay, that map tho; after reading Edgedancer, I’m VERY CONCERNED that there’s an Oathgate to Aimia... I don’t need any more 200-cremlings-in-a-trenchcoat popping up out of nowhere, but thanks anyway

it makes sense that this book stats with Dalinar, but HOW! IS! MY! BOY! WHERE! IS! KALADIN!

Dalinar is so polite tho. saying ‘thank you’ to the Stormfather

Also ONLY SIX DAYS???? AAHH

“It had been a hardy, stubborn lot who had grown in this place.” This is Kholinar: it highstorms nine months of the year, and weeps the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have...cats or chickens, we have...cremlings.

(Though Lisa made a good point--are there actually cremlings?? or are all cremlings just...bits of Aimians scuttling about like spy bugs?)

“The queen had gone silent.” I...genuinely don’t trust her, and I’m more inclined to believe she’s radio silence out of a need to save her own damn skin than any other reason.

......somehow I never really thought that Odium would be light...

THE WOMAN HE LOVED

YAASS.

(I have priorities)

They’re being cute. It’s been, like, half a page and I’m just over here making big, cooing noises at them being cute. help.

OH SHIT THAT WAS QUICK

THEY FOUND SADEAS ALREADY AND I AM CONCERN

(tho, I mean...it took them six days to find the body, that’s....actually not really quick. but still.)

OH WAIT NO, OKAY, IT TOOK THEM  ONE DAY WELL SHIT

oh god

Adolin, bby. pls. don’t.... LISTEN, THE FIC I WROTE ABOUT GUILTSPREN WAS A FIC

HI TEFT I HAVE MISSED YOU BUT ALSO PLS CALM DOWN AAAHHHH

this is page frikkin 37 and I’m already dying

I’M SO SCARED OF WHAT IALAI WILL DO. SHE’S GONNA PIN THIS ON BRIDGE 4 I KNOW IT. SHE’S GONNA TRY AND I’M GONNA SCREAM

WHY IS ADOLIN HERE. KIDDO PLS. DOn’T COME BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME I’M

unrelated, but I can’t stop thinking about baby Eshonai basically damning her people to war and revenge to stop their gods from returning and Venli just like...whipping a godling out her pocket like “nvmd, we’re doing this anyway” and like. fuck Venli, tbh.

Back to current events and:

I love Palona.

“steady Adolin and impenetrable Renarin” HE LOVES HIS SONS SO MUCH I’M CRY

“certainly wouldn’t have gone so far as to kill Sadeas themselves” ABOUT THAT

I love that Urithuru has safety railings. like... throwing shade at every big space opera ever.

I still don’t know how I feel about Lopen growing his arm back...

“Our ultimate goal is the preservation of Roshar” Sorry, bud, Preservation is dead...

and also on a different planet.

AAAWWW SNAP! THIRTY-FOUR YEARS AGO! HERE WE GO!!!!

“He didn’t need Shards to intimidate.” Nah, but I bet they help.

tbqh, it’s really, really weird to think of Dalinar fighting not in Shards.

excuse you, that horse did nothing to deserve that.

heheheheh, so much for your nose, bucko

Gooooddddd, Brandon writes battle so cinematically. I want to film this. Gaaaahhh

of...of course punk!Dalinar’s horse is named Fullnight. How deliciously extra of him.

“I tried to kill you!” “from a distance! Which shows remarkably good judgement!” DALINAR, PLEASE. 

Enthusiastic ultra-Gryffindor rambo Dalinar is hilarious

It’s been 50 pages, where’s Kaladin

Sadeas in YELLOW shardplate?? who is he?

Also, ngl, I’m a lil pissed that I still have to deal with Sadeas--even if it’s young, not-quite-so-vile Sadeas. Like......he’s dead! I shouldn’t have to put up with his slimy face anymore!

“What would we do without you?” “Lose.” What an asshole. What a dudebro. I hate how much I love him.

the Thrill concerns me, tbh.

I know that we know it is of Odium, but like. It Concerns me.

THAT WAS QUICK

THE EVERSTORM TURNAROUND??? THAT WAS DISTRESSINGLY QUICK?

I’m sad Dalinar doesn’t get a little spren buddy wandering around with him at all times, because, like. Stormfather. But like. spren buddy.

Now I’m trying to picture the vast and infinite Stormfather just flitting around Dalinar’s head in meetings and making faces at Syl across the table and laughing my ass off.

oh NO not her SAFEHAND

seriously, they. are. so. cute.

“Your stubborn refusal to get seduced is making me question my feminine wiles.” HAAAAHAHA OMG, DARLINGS PLEASE

also, Dalinar, omg, give it up already, bro.

I realize there are like...ecological and climatology implications of the Weepings stopping before they are supposed to, but I can’t help but be glad that Kaladin won’t be suffering for as long as he normally would with the seasonal depression...

WHAT! WAS! THE! BOON! ...unless this is the boon. Unless Dalinar asked for the Nightwatcher to take away the pain of losing his wife and instead she took away his wife... and his punishment is something else.

in which case WHAT! WAS! THE! PUNISHMENT!

“I’d let a confused dishwasher marry us.” I realized belatedly that she meant, like...a person who washes dishes. And not a machine that washes dishes that most people on earth have in their kitchens.

Also, Dalinar and Navani really need to please stop being so adorable, I’m SO HAPPY THEY’RE GETTIN MARRIED AND THE FRIKKIN STORMFATHER IS GONNA OFFICIATE THAT’S HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM

I LOVE THAT THE WEDDING IS LIKE... HIM AND NAVANI AND THE BOYS AND SHALLAN AND A FEW OTHER MINIONS. THIS IS DELIGHTFUL. I LOVE THIS

THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS I DISLIKE

Bridge Four is too important for guard duty! They’re so important! They’ve come so far!!!! I LOVE THEM!!??

she just had a wedding dress just... lying around.

god I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!

...poor Elhokar. “if only we could keep up.” boy has no confidence and no chance to learn it.

NAVANI’S FRIKKIN GLORYSPREN OMG

“What does he remember that I cannot?” Uh...your other wife, my dude. I’m sure this has something to do with how your wife died.

AAHH. HERE HE IS!!!! THE BOY!!!!! MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nooooo. no, kaladin please. you didn’t fail. oh god, no, come on. don’t think like that.

I’m

aaahhhhh

“It felt wrong not to bear the symbol of Bridge Four.” AAAHHHHHHH

I’M

!!!!!!!!!

I’m JUST NOT OKAY

aahh, at least he was properly concerned about the Everstorm filling his spheres with...bad stuff? of some kind? I’m super glad that it didn’t, that it doesn’t, but like. At least he was concerned about it!

hello fronds, I love Syl a LOT

also: covered safehand, that’s hilarious. She’s a real grown up, now!

nooooooooooo

it can’t be all dead

they have to have

someone has to have been smart enough to get a large part of the town into shelter

Kaladin, your dad isn’t stupid, he would have. he would have tried.

(this would be way, way more distressing if I hadn’t been spoiled for the fact that Lirin and Hesina are alive...like...I’d probably be crying right now.)

“How often are you going to make me apologize for that?” Pfffft I mean.

HE GREW UP AND THEY DON’T RECOGNIZE HIM AND I’M

AAAHHH

“Are there wounded” and he just GOES because that’s where his dad would be and he just . goes. to his dad.

I’m crying?

THEY’RE CRYING I’M CRYING EVERYONE IS CRYING

THEY THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD AMARAM FUCKING TOLD THEM HE WAS DEAD AND I’M

THEY’RE

“MY SON IS ALIVE” YEAH HE IS AND HE’S AMAZING AND YOU’RE GONNA BE PROUD OF HIM OH

I’M

AAHHHHHH

I really hate Amaram. A lot.

his mom is a good. and she just keeps her hand on his shoulder like protectiveness and like reassurance that he’s still there and I’m. aaaAAAHH

“For now, he just wanted to be here with them.” GOOD. LET THE BOY REST. LET HIM EAT SOUP AND REST.

“The wrong-way highstorm” I mean...not wrong

“They never got to meet Captain Kaladin” aaAAHHH

I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT INCARNATIONS OF HUMANS AND I’M

this is a lot

LIRIN OFFERING TO BUY THE WRIT OF SLAVERY IS A LOT I’M JUST

crying

“Perhaps it was time to stop letting the rain dictate his mood. He couldn’t banish the seed of darkness inside him, but Stormfather, he didn’t need to let it rule him either.”

I...have a lot of feelings about Kaladin.

And I have a lot of feelings about how Kaladin and his depression interact and about how he deals with it. And how he’s seen the worst in himself and promised to never let it get that bad again. And how he’s seen that even though it’s a part of himself that he has to keep fighting, keep dealing with, keep understanding, it doesn’t have to be the only thing in him, the only thing in his life, the only part of him that matters. He can have other parts, other important bits of him and his personality. He might always have bad days, but that doesn’t have to be the majority of them. Not if he chooses to be stronger, to try to get better. There’s always going to be depression, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be other things.

It took me a longass time to come to that same realization and I just...am really, really... proud of him? and of myself? and of anyone who has depression who thinks the same way we do? and though I’ve found it to be a smidge disconcerting to have your own personal thought processes spelled out on paper by someone who isn’t you, there’s a comfort in that...I’m not the only one who feels like this, who has these ideas, who makes these decisions about my depression.

Anyway, I really, really love Kaladin and I’m. emotional . and I’m. “He didn’t need to let it rule him either.” No. We don’t. We can deal.

ANYWAY I’M EMOTIONAL ABOUT KALADIN AND IN OTHER NEWS WATER IS WET, FIRE IS HOT, AND THE WORLD IS ROUND.

WAIT. Did Syl.....was she aiming for someone else? “distant yet demanding”. Who else...was she gonna bond with. before Kaladin? My first instinct is Tien, but that...doesn’t fit. One of his men? in his squad? Or before that, Hesina maybe? I’m? ...surely not Lirin...... he’s not. enough.

god, his first thought is that Adolin would be disappointed in fashion heheheheh I love these boys. becoming friends. maybe. hopefully.

KAL PUNCHING ROSHONE IS A++ 100% GRADE A GOOD SHIT

GOD BLESS

AAAAAAHHHHHHH

“That was for my friend Moash” I’M!!!!!!!!!!!! EMOTIONAL!!!! ABOUT MY BOYS!!! AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP!!!!! PERSISTING EVEN THOUGH BAD DECISIONS!!!!

Kaladin’s stubborn refusal to give up on people is. A Lot. EVeRYTHING IS A LOT. THIS IS A LOT

“and for the first time in a long, long while, he was happy with that person.” THAT’S CAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON THE BEST PERSON AAAHHH

SUMMONING SYL AND “ANY QUESTIONS” AND OHHH MY GOD. that shit’s hot. I’m. hhnnnggggggg

“until he had enough stormlight to fly home.” home. I mean, we knew that “home” wasn’t Hearthstone anymore, but. Dalinar is home. The warcamps, Urithuru. Bridge Four. I...I am so proud of how far Kaladin has come.

“I don’t like the idea of swinging you around, smashing you into things.” “Firstly, I don’t smash into things. I am an elegant and graceful weapon.” HI, I LOVE SYL A LOT

GET IT, LARAL

HECK YE

“That’s a girl I was never going to marry, no matter what happened.” “I like her.” “You would.” I LIKE HER TOO SHE’S STRONG AND CAPABEL AND DON’T NEED NO MAN. GET IT, GIIIRRLL!!!!

I love that Roshar has a Hippocratic oath equivalent. I also have mixed feelings on Lirin’s incredibly strict adherence to his Hippocratic oath equivalent. like..yeah, Do No Harm is one thing. But being self-righteous about it to the point of not wanting your son to fight evil monsters from the void? Take a chill pill, my dude.

NAVANI SPANREEDING HIM PERSONALLY IS A LOT

also, I really have strong feelings about Dalinar generally addressing Kaladin as “soldier” and the responding “Sir.” I know they had a long talk about chain of command, but it’s just. so satisfying that it’s still going.

“Send us a glyph each evening to know you are safe.” GOOD DAD IS WORRIED ABOUT HIS SON AND I’M EMOTIONAL

AAAHHHHH HIS VERY FIRST INSTINCT IS TO HOLD HIS BABY BROTHER I’M!!! KALADIN IS SO GOOD AND LOVING AND WONDERFUL!!!

guys, I don’t know if you know this about me, but I really love Kaladin.

guys, I don’t know if you know this about me, bUT I REALLY LOVE KALADIN.

[ponyregrets]

Is there a Bellamy pov for 'I frankly would've liked to stay'? Coz I really want to know what prompted them starting to make out, like, did Clarke say something? He made the move, but I can't read his side of things as well in this one so I'm mighty curious. I bet you'd come up with something amazing!

tbh the explanation is mostly “he wanted to make out with her” but you know

original fic here on AO3 and alt POV here!

The thing about Clarke is that she's like no one else Bellamy has ever had in his life. She likes him without any obligation to like him, and apparently with no misconceptions or ulterior motives. She enjoys spending time with him, doesn't get intimidated or annoyed by his moods, and seems to appreciate when he stands up to her, even when she's very determined to get her way.

She is, of course, also intelligent and beautiful and makes his whole chest feel warm, and he would like, very much, to figure out how to make it work with her. It being however far he can safely get on the sliding scale from friends to lovers. If all they ever are is good roommates who are fond of each other, he'll live, but he'd be much happier if he could at some point make out with her.

And he's pretty sure that should not, in any way, require his addressing the TV thing.

Honestly, nothing should require his addressing the the TV thing, because the TV thing is just not a big fucking deal. Every time he thinks about it, he tells himself that. Everyone else tells him that too, but they never make it sound believable. After all, it's hard to believe when every time someone finds out that he hasn't seen whatever thing he'd just love, and he says he's not interested, and it's always just--weird.

In some ways, it's become a test for him. He thought Miller would be a dick about it, but Miller just said, "Fuck, if you want to deprive yourself of cool shit, that's your call. You still play video games?" and that was it.

With Clarke, the biggest problem is that she makes him want to like the things she likes. He's at that stage of his crush where he wants to know everything about her, and she's the kind of person who likes having the TV on. And, from what he can tell, she has pretty good taste in her media.

So he starts asking about it slowly. If she has something he doesn't recognize on, he asks what it is, and she tells him, and that's about as far as he's gotten. Which is sad, and he's more than aware of it. But he'll come up with a second step, at some point. It really shouldn't be that awkward.

But he waits too long, so it is.

It's not strange for him to find her on the couch in her pajamas on a Saturday morning; when they first moved in together, she asked if he minded her hanging out in the living room with the TV on while he was around, and he said no, and she told him to just let him know if he ever wanted to watch something else.

Which, of course, he never has.

He goes into to the kitchen to pour himself a mug of coffee, leans against the counter to watch whatever is happening on the screen. It looks like fantasy, which isn't something he sees her watching a lot, and he takes a sip of his drink before he asks, "What are you watching?"

Instead of answering, she twists around to frown at him, which is not her usual reaction. "What do you mean, what am I watching?"

He frowns right back. "I'm not sure how that question could be clearer. You even repeated it."

"Fellowship of the Ring," she says, and he doesn't wince, but that explains that. "Extended edition."

He keeps his voice casual as he pushes off the counter to lean over her instead. "Oh yeah, they made a movie of that." Whoever's on the screen is short and kind of dirty, so he makes an educated guess. "Is that Frodo?"

"That's Gimli," she says, amused.

"Oh, yeah, that makes way more sense."

He pushes off the couch, and heads to the kitchen, thinking he's escaped from the awkwardness, but then he hears, "How have you not seen this? I know you have the books. I've seen the books on your shelves."

"I just never saw them," he finally says, knowing she's not going to let it go at that. He remembers when they came out, and it was all he heard about at school for weeks. He knows the guy who plays Legolas is, like, really dreamy, and that even jock kids liked the movies, which he told himself was a sign he wouldn't have.

But he really had wanted to see them. He'd done the math over and over, making sure he really couldn't afford it, and he really couldn't. So he didn't.

He hears the movie stop, and he doesn't let himself turn around. Not even when she says, "It really just started. You should watch with me." When he still doesn't respond, she adds, "Fellowship is definitely the best, but you can get mad about how they screwed up Faramir in Two Towers."

It's not what he was expecting her to say at all, and something in his chest relaxes. She doesn't think these movies are perfect. She's probably not even going to be offended if he complains about them. "They screwed up Faramir?"

There's a smug note in her voice that says she knows she's won. "Totally. Come on, Bellamy," she wheedles, for good measure. "I was in this fandom for a while. I can tell you all about the slash fanfic I read about Legolas and Gimli making out."

"I don't have to actually watch it for you to tell me about that," he points out, like he's not already a lost cause. She's never asked him to watch anything else before, and apparently he's not good at resisting her. "Isn't it like ten billion hours?"

"I'm sorry, did you suddenly grow a social life? Did you make plans for the weekend?"

He puts his coffee down on the table. "I need to get a book. So I can pretend I'm studying."

"Uh huh. I'll start it over."

He gets a book and sees that she's moved from the middle cushion to the left one, so he takes the right, leaving a good couple feet of space between them. The last time he watched a movie with someone, it was "watching a movie" as a clear and unmistakable excuse to make out. Which he's used to.

With Clarke, it's friendly. She puts her feet up on the coffee table and has her sketchpad in her lap, and aside from the anxious flutter in his chest, it feels like the kind of thing he could get used to. That he'd like to get used to. It would be nice, being good at watching movies with Clarke.

It still takes him a while to get there.

They blaze through The Lord of the Rings over the weekend, and it does go well. Bellamy has some trouble actually relaxing, but Clarke has a knack for putting him at ease. And she doesn't seem to care that he's not thrilled with the way they did Eowyn's storyline and thinks that a lot of the better speeches lost some of their impact going to screen. She has her own complaints, and there's plenty to like about the adaptation too.

It's fun, and he wants to be happy about it, but he can't help waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Because this is not something Clarke is letting go. She's not exactly subtle about it, but she is--well, she's cool about it, thinking about what he'll like and why he might like it. He assumes she talked to his sister, which is weird, but flattering, and it comes across as something she wants to share with him.

It's nice, it just feels like only a matter of time before he hits something that makes it awkward.

"I've never seen a Mad Max movie," he tells her, in line for Fury Road. Just to test the waters.

"Neither have I, but assholes on the internet are boycotting this one because it has too many women, so how bad can it be? And I don't think there's a ton of plot we have to follow."

"Wait," he says, holding up his hand. "That's a thing?"

"Which part?"

"People boycott movies because they have too many women?"

"Have we talked about the Ghostbusters reboot?" she asks, sounding thoughtful, and maybe that's why this thing is working for him. It's not just that she wants to share this stuff with him, it's that she knows what he's going to be interested.

She's working at it, and it's hard to feel anything but grateful and happy about that.

"You haven't," he says, shifting a little closer. "Do we have time?"

"Not for all of it. But I'm not going anywhere."

He bites the corner of his mouth. "No. So, tell me about Ghostbusters."

*

He actually really likes the anime. Not just because it's cool, but because Clarke hasn't seen a lot of it either, so he feels less pressure. If he was watching Clarke's favorite movie and hating it, he'd feel bad, but he likes forming opinions with her, or seeing her rediscover something she'd largely forgotten, enough so that when she says they're on their last Ghibli movie, he's honestly disappointed.

"I don't know anything about this one," Clarke says, making a face. "Grave of the Fireflies. Watch or skip it?"

"We've got it, why would we skip it?"

She looks so happy that he wishes he could just be normal about this. That he could just forget his random spikes of anxiety and watch things as casually as she does.

But he's still kind of a weird anxious mess, so that's all he's got.

"Yeah," she agrees. "I've heard it's good."

And part of Bellamy can recognize that it is good. Quality isn't the issue. But Clarke has been sticking, largely, to fun, somewhat fantastical stuff. Most of the movies were at least a little emotional, but Grave of the Fireflies is a war movie, and it's a war movie that starts with a little boy dying after he fails to save his younger sister's life, and that's nothing like any of the other things they've watched together.

It's not an unfamiliar feeling, recognizing himself in media. He does it in books and in songs, in the things he interacts with on his own. He likes it, even when it hurts, the familiarity, the assurance that he's not alone.

But, left to his own devices, he might not have experienced it with Clarke. He's not one of those people who thinks that guys crying is bad, or damaging to their masculinity, but there is something awkward about crying in front of another person, even quietly. They feel obligated to react in some way, and he wouldn't have put that burden on her. It's awkward, and he's never thought of her as someone who feels very at home with comforting people.

Then, she reaches over and takes his hand, making his heartbeat spike. Her palm is soft on top of his, her grip gentle, as if she just wants to remind him she's here. He swallows hard, unable to take his eyes off the TV, and lets his hand turn over so he can squeeze her back. Part of him wants to say something, to explain himself, but Clarke probably understands.

For the first time, he feels sure: she's on his side. She's going to stay on his side.

He doesn't have anything good to say about the movie, nothing that feels right. He liked it, but the words feel inaccurate and inadequate all at once. It was like watching another version of himself, a life he might have had, the life he beat. He and Octavia survived. He kept them alive.

So he clears his throat to get the tears out of his voice and asks, "Do you have easy access to that cop show?"

"Cop show?"

"The one with the hot angry latina." She watches it a lot in the background, and he always likes what he hears. One time a guy actually said the word transphobic. He didn't think that happened on TV shows.

Her smile isn't patronizing at all; if anything, she looks glad there's something she can do. "Yeah, it's on Hulu."

"Could we watch an episode of that? Just--"

She squeezes his hand when his voice gives out. "Sounds good."

Then she lets go, which kind of sucks. He's excited for the show, but he'd be more excited without the cushion of space between them, if she were curled up into his side. It would make him feel so much better.

When she's done, she puts the remote aside and lets her hand fall back on the cushion between them. It could be a coincidence; it could mean nothing. But if she can have a campaign to get him familiar with pop culture, he can have his own, private counter-campaign, one where he tries to figure out how to, someday, date her.

So he reaches back, takes her hand, and sees her smile a little.

Maybe it won't even be that hard.

*

Of course, the thing about his plan is that it involves a lot of risk. If making a move on Clarke goes wrong, his whole life is kind of ruined. He has other friends, of course, other people he cares about, but--he adores Clarke, like he's never adored anyone else. If it works out, it's going to be amazing. If it doesn't, he'll still have to live with her, and with the knowledge that she doesn't want him.

"Or you could, you know, get a girlfriend," Miller says. "I hear that's good, if you're into it. And she's cool and likes all your weird shit. It's been long enough she's probably not even just into you for your body."

"I'm not worried about that. I'm worried she's not into me at all."

"Dude. You've had other roommates, right? You get that this isn't normal."

"It's not about roommates. It's about her. She could be like this with all her roommates. She finds out something is weird and has to fix it. That's how she is."

"She can do that and still be into you," Miller says. "Which, again, I'm pretty sure she is. Her signals are not subtle. She looks at your mouth a lot."

"Why do you know that?"

"Monty and I have a drinking game. Once you're dating someone, the stress about them not liking you goes away and you have to make your own fun."

He rubs his face. "I'm going to tell her. I can do that thing where I yawn and put my arm around her, right? That's what people do during movies."

"How do you know that but not what The Terminator is?"

"I assume it's a guy who terminates things," he says. "Is it going to help me hit on Clarke? If it doesn't, I don't care."

"It probably could. You need all the help you can get."

He leans back, closing his eyes. "I'm going to figure it out any day. Just wait."

"I'm not holding my breath," says Miller, and Bellamy inclines his head without straightening it up.

"Yeah, I wouldn't suggest it."

*

When he's still working on figuring out how to subtly shift into Clarke and put his arm around her during a movie, they hit the Star Wars issue.

It's weird to think of Star Wars as an issue, but lots of people love Star Wars, and he knows Clarke is one of them. She doesn't make a huge deal of it or anything, but she has a Darth Vader mug that her dad gave her before he died, and she actually owns the DVDs, which is pretty rare for her. She usually just streams things.

It seemed pretty unlikely that he'd be able to avoid it coming up ever, but he hoped he'd be able to avoid it coming up until he was sure she liked him. When he didn't think it could ruin things.

It's so stupid. He knows it is.

He's at the stove, working on dinner, when it finally comes up, and he doesn't even notice. He did know May the force be with you was a thing, but his primary association with the word force isn't the Star Wars franchise, so he runs through a list of things it could be and finally guesses, "Is that a band?"

He'll maintain it's a good guess. They don't usually buy movie tickets that much in advance. And she seems to expect him to know what it is, which isn't usually how she acts about movies. Plus, he knew there was a new Star Wars coming at some point, but he thought it wasn't for a while, and he didn't know the name.

But then Clarke says, slow, "It's the new Star Wars," and he tries and fails not to wince.

"Huh," he says, careful.

There's a pause, and then he feels her by his side, so close he could hook his arm around her waist if he wanted to. Which, he does, but--not right now.

"You know I don't care, right?" she asks, because she does know him. "You haven't seen movies, big deal. It's kind of nice. I get to show you all my favorite stuff and you've never seen it before. I get to see you seeing it for the first time."

He's heard that before, but he does believe it from Clarke. She seems equally delighted when he enjoys things and when he complains, but--he wants to love the things she loves. He wants to have these things in common.

"Octavia told you," he says, mostly to see what she'll say. Of course she talked to Octavia about it, but--he doesn't know exactly what Clarke thought was important. Or what Octavia assumes about why he's so stubborn about these things.

"Just that you guys didn't have a TV when you were kids," she says, with an easy shrug. "And that she gets annoyed with people asking her why she hasn't seen stuff."

He nods, looks at her sidelong. "I know all the spoilers."

"For what?"

"Star Wars. Darth Vader is Luke's father. Luke and Leia are siblings. The prequels are shit. Jar Jar Binks is the worst." He scrambles for any other knowledge of the franchise and comes up wit, "Uh, Yoda," which at least makes her laugh.

"You think Yoda is a spoiler?"

"He's not? I feel like once I saw him, there wasn't much point in anything else."

"Yeah, we all feel that way about Yoda." She nods, as if this was a discussion, and now they're on the same page. "So, this weekend, right? You and me, Star Wars marathon. You were a space kid. I bet you haven't seen Star Trek either," she adds, perking up again. She sounds gleeful, and all he really wants is to make her happy.

He wants this to be as fun as she thinks it will be.

"I thought you weren't allowed to like both," he says, wary.

"I'm a rebel." She taps her jaw. "I think you'd like DS9, that's the one that's got, like--it's the one that's good if you don't have the benefit of nostalgia."

"You're making this sound great."

"I try to be realistic," she says, and he knows that's true too. She's been working so hard at this. She's been so careful.

And now she wants to jump in the deep end with Star Wars.

"I might not like it."

"We don't have to watch DS9."

"I meant Star Wars," he says. "Is that going to be a problem? You going to have to move out?"

Her smile is a little patronizing, and he has to admit he deserves it. "I'll live. But I think you're going to like it."

"I had this girlfriend in high school," he lets himself admit. It's one of those stories that he feels hurt him more than it should have, that he doesn't like caring about. But she was the first girl he'd ever really dated, instead of fooling around, and he'd liked her. He'd thought they had something good. Now, he knows that it wouldn't have lasted anyway, but--it was easy for him to get attached back then. He was so greedy for affection. "She found out I liked the Harry Potter books, but I'd never seen the movie, and she was--like you, I guess." It's not true, not really; he doesn't think Clarke will be anything like Roma was. But he needs to hear her say she's not. "She was really excited she got to show them to me. And I fucking hated the first movie," he admits, with a wry smile. "I always kind of saw Harry as, uh--I thought he'd look more like me, and no one else looked like I pictured them either and it just--I thought it was shitty, I didn't want to watch the rest, she got pissed, and we broke up. Over a stupid Harry Potter movie. And it's not like I really cared," he adds, which isn't exactly true either. He wants to not care, but everyone else always makes him feel like he has to. Just because Clarke does it in a nice way doesn't mean he can stop fretting. Fretting is what he does. "But I did get sick of it. I haven't seen some stuff. Who cares?"

She leans her forehead against his shoulder blade, warm and affectionate. "I kind of like it when you hate stuff," she tells him. "It's fun."

"Yeah, I've noticed. But--you like Star Wars."

"Yup," she says, without a trace of worry.

"I want to like it."

"Maybe you will." There's a pause, and then she adds, deliberate, "I'm not going to break up with you if you don't like Star Wars, Bellamy."

"We're not dating," he says, voice a little dry. It doesn't even feel true, right now. It feels as if he could kiss her, and she'd slide into his arms and not leave. "So that would be tough. Do we have to watch the prequels?"

"I'm going to do some research," she declares, because of course she is, and he loves her.

"Research?" he asks, and lets himself hope it's going to be okay as she walks him through her plan.

Star Wars is really long, after all. He can definitely stretch and wrap his arm around her at some point.

*

He blames his actual excitement about the whole thing for his slip-up with Octavia. They're on their weekly check-in call, and when she asks him if he's doing anything special over the weekend, he tells her, "Watching Star Wars with Clarke," without thinking about it.

During the long pause, he remembers that his sister has tried, on multiple occasions, to convince him to watch Star Wars, for his own edification. Half of his refusal to see those movies, specifically, was just to piss her off.

If anyone had asked him, he would have said he assumed Octavia knew he was in love with Clarke. He sort of assumes everyone knows. It's a both minor miracle and annoyance that Clarke seems to have missed it. So it doesn't really feel like this should be a surprise for her. She should be able to figure it out.

"All of them?" is what she finally asks.

"You didn't think I had a social life, did you?" He shrugs, even though she can't see it. "Might as well get it over with. She wants to go to the new one, so--"

"So that is a thing."

"I don't know what you were expecting, you had your hot friend move in with me. Obviously I have a thing for her. I thought you knew."

"You're such a mess, Bell," she says. "If you like Star Wars, I'm never going to let you live it down."

"Cool," he says. "I'll deserve it."

*

Despite his best efforts to sleep in, he wakes up stupidly early on Saturday. At least the problem isn't really nerves about not liking Star Wars; he's basically fine with however that turns out. But the event feels significant, and he's got his mind half set on today being it. He's going to make a move on Clarke, somehow.

But she's not even awake yet, so if his brain would just shut the fuck up about it, that would be great. He gathers some of his thesis stuff to work on to distract himself, getting set up on the couch fairly happily. He's going for cool and casual, but of course as soon as Clarke comes out, she calls him out on it, which is fine. He wasn't really planning to keep the books once she was awake, he just needed something to do with his hands.

He gets the stuff put away and is settled back in by the time she's ready with coffee and cereal, and he can see her thinking for a second before she sits directly next to him, close enough that he can feel the heat coming off her side.

So they're on the same page. That's good.

"Okay, so," he says, shifting so he can get more comfortable, putting his arm behind her on the couch, but not really around her shoulders. "What's the plan? Did you figure out the optimal order to watch these in?"

"Machete order, basically," she says, like this will mean something to him. His expression must give him away, because she counts off on her fingers. "Episode four, episode five, episode two, episode three, episode six. And instead of watching The Phantom Menace, we just listen to the Weird Al "American Pie" parody song, which is way better."

"Cool. Which one is your favorite?"

She flashes him a grin. "Why, do you want to be nice to it?"

"Kind of, yeah."

Apparently it's the right answer, because she actually starts snuggling with him, which is the best kind of alarming. She's warm and smells like day-old shampoo, and it's the kind of perfect, comfortable morning he'd like to have every weekend.

"Return of the Jedi," she says. "I think the Ewoks are cute. Apparently this is a really unpopular opinion on the internet." She flashes him another bright smile. "I got in some fights while I was looking into this, so you better appreciate it."

"My hero," he says, getting his arm around her shoulders. "Are people against cute things?"

Clarke trades her cereal for the remote. "Not exactly. Just, you know. Star Wars is at its best when it's all serious and about a lack of hope for the future or something. Which is bullshit, especially given the first movie is called A New Hope. That's setting an optimistic tone."

"The first movie or the fourth movie?"

"Fourth movie."

"That's definitely needlessly confusing, for the record."

"Yeah, I think it was supposed to be kind of exciting? The ultimate in media res. But it gets weird to talk about."

He lets himself rest his cheek on her hair. "What's the one coming out soon that we have to see? What episode, I mean. Negative five?"

"Seven," she says, fond. "Okay, first disclaimer."

"Jesus, already?"

She ignores him. "These are the new versions, so I'm going to yell at the screen about how George Lucas is a hack any time one of the new scenes is on."

"Perfect. This is a lot of text. Do I need to be reading it?"

"No, you're fine. Evil empire, no hope, the usual."

"Is Yoda the new hope?"

She laughs. "No, Yoda is his sled." There's a pause. "You get that reference from just being alive, right?"

"Citizen Kane?" he hazards.

"Yeah. Which I've never actually seen. We should watch it. Grow as people."

"That sounds awful. The ships are pretty cool," he adds, hesitant. Effects don't always work for him, but he can imagine how cool the opening would look on a big screen, how all-consuming.

"That's a Star Destroyer," she says. "Evil empire ship."

"Evil empires get all the cool ships." He slides his arm further down, around her waist, and she finishes up the last few bites of cereal and puts the bowl down so she can curl against his chest.

He could definitely get used to this. And he even thinks he'll have the chance to.

*

He misses Yoda's first appearance, but it's definitely not his fault. He's trying to figure out when he should be tugging Clarke into his lap to kiss her, and it's hard to plan that when he's never seen the movie. And he is enjoying the movie. It's just that the girl he's in love with is tangled in his arms and they're holding hands and he's not sure there's a movie in the world that could distract him from that. Especially given what a great angle he has to look down her tank top right now.

"I was expecting more of a reaction," she says.

He starts, guilty. "What?"

"Yoda. I know he's your top priority."

He squints at the screen. Luke is on some kind of weird gray swamp planet, and everything seems bad.

Then he sees the weird green thing.

"Holy shit, is that him?"

Clarke is laughing. "I thought you knew what he looked like!"

"I thought he'd be bigger. And brighter green. And--wow. That's a lot."

She squeezes his fingers. "Everything you dreamed?"

"Honestly, yeah. What's he made out of? Is there an actor in there?"

"I think he's a puppet."

"Wow. That's awesome."

"I'm glad he lives up to expectations. He and Luke are going to do a training montage."

"He's a teacher?"

"Jedi master."

"Huh."

"See, you didn't get spoiled for everything."

"Not everything," he agrees, turning his focus to their linked hands. "I didn't see this one coming."

*

"Fun fact, Weird Al actually wrote that song before the movie came out based on Internet spoilers," Clarke tells him, once they're finished with the musical recap of the first episode. If it's really accurate, he doesn't feel like he's missing that much. He has yet to develop any emotional attachment to Anakin Skywalker.

"And I'll never know how accurate it is."

"You can watch the first one. I won't stop you."

"What's the point if you're not watching it with me?" he asks without thinking, and he's rewarded with a smile and slight flush.

"Suffering is better together," she agrees. "Okay. Episode two?"

"Sure," he says.

He'd like to say he gives the movie a fair try, but he honestly just doesn't. Clarke doesn't like it, and it's not like he's doing this just to impress her, but if she's not engaged, he isn't going to be either.

Besides, she just keeps getting closer to him, and even if he didn't basically want to marry her, he'd be dealing with some noticeable physical reactions.

"Do I need to care about this?" he asks. Pre-Vader and his girlfriend are flirting. Maybe. It's probably supposed to be flirting, but Han and Leia were a lot more convincing.

"Yes, this is--" She makes a face. "Honestly, I can't even think of a fake reason to care. I honestly have no idea what happens in this--"

He catches her jaw and tugs her mouth to his, swallowing the end of her sentence. She laughs into the kiss, this bright, pleased sound, and repositions so she can reciprocate without hurting her neck. He mouth is soft and warm and perfect, and she's pressing in close, like she wouldn't have been able to wait much longer either.

"This is because I'm bored and you're all over me," he tells her, trying not to grin too hard. "Not because the movie is romantic. I just want that to be clear."

"Because you're bored?" she asks, amused, and he nips her neck.

"We need to be dating by the time we're watching Return of the Jedi so you can dump me when I don't like it," he teases. "So I was working on a pretty short timetable."

Clarke looks like she's going to say something, but she leans in first, and he can't help kissing her again, and it turns into making out basically instantly, warm and perfect, making his whole chest light up. She's so warm and eager on top of him, so perfect.

"That's probably not going to happen," she murmurs, and there's a split second of total panic before she laughs softly and noses his jaw. "I meant dumping you, not dating you. I don't think there's anything you can say about Return of the Jedi to make me stop liking you."

He wasn't actually worried, not with any conscious part of his brain, because he knows her, and he knows she wouldn't be doing this if she wasn't serious. So it's easy to laugh and let his hands find the hem of her shirt, pulling it off when she obligingly raises her arms. "Sounds like a challenge." he says, giving her another kiss. "What if I hate the Ewoks?"

"I'll live."

"What if I think the entire franchise is a waste?"

"You like Princess Leia, so I know you don't."

"What if I--"

"What if instead of talking about Star Wars, we had sex?" she suggests, grinding down on him with a wicked smirk. "Don't get me wrong, it's fun and all, but--come on, Bellamy. It's just a movie."

He laughs, sliding his hands up her back to unhook her bra. "Yeah," he agrees. "Just a movie."