#alicent deserves a personal army as a treat

[lemonhemlock]

I didn't think about him being a knight and having endangered himself before, you're right!

I was mostly thinking along the lines of one of the kids being directly attacked and him probably not jumping at the opportunity to get between that (I feel like he would/could but he'd probably think about whether it's the smartest decision/in favour of his goals whereas Aemond would act rather rash).

Maybe he would protect Alicent without further thought tho (but I am not knowledgeable, I just base my opinions on vibes).

What do you think?

Hi there!

I think Otto gets a little bit of a bad rep in general. He doesn't talk the talk without walking the walk, if you think about it. As I've said, he has already put himself twice in harms' way on the same bridge on Dragonstone - once against Daemon, once against Daemon & Rhaenyra, both times facing dragons, both times ready to throw hands if necessary. He's not hiding somewhere in the background, he's the first to fall if things go awry. Tywin Lannister, another Hand of the King, would have simply sent an envoy, for example, and it's not for lack of courage, as he fights in battle himself to save his family from Stannis.

Which is why I think it's the more notable that Otto went himself, on behalf of the Crown. If he is willing to do that for the institution, to perform what essentially is a ceremonial, albeit (unnecessarily, for him) dangerous act, why wouldn't he protect Alicent and his grandchildren if they were in the way of direct harm?

It's also important to note that he never intentionally placed his daughter in harm's way. In his mind, Viserys is a good man who would never mistreat her (in a way he understands as being significant).

Similarly, I think a lot of this confusion stems from the political climate not being relayed properly to the viewers. Otto fully expects Viserys to change his heir once he has a son. Fandom likes to believe this is evil machination from his part, plotting Rhaenyra's murder years in advance, but most other noble lords think the same thing. Does anyone think Corlys and Rhaenys were trying to get Laena and her future children killed by putting her forward as a potential bride? Does anyone think Rhaenys was secretly plotting to defenestrate Rhaenyra while they were sassing off on that balcony? Jason Lannister shows up from way out west and fully expects Aegon to be named heir as well. People are very confused when Viserys doesn't budge.

Otto is not so unfeeling as to reduce his daughter and grandchildren to canon fodder for his personal ambition. He wasn't expecting this problem in the first place. He is taken aback and has to recalculate and re-calibrate his strategy. That is why he starts insisting to Alicent in private that she also join him in pushing for Aegon as heir. That is why he suggests betrothing Rhaenyra to Aegon. That is why he tells Alicent her children will be in danger if Viserys doesn't switch. He wasn't tricking or trapping her in a future bloody war over succession when he sent her to comfort/distract the king. Viserys is the rogue element here, someone that we in the field of international relations would say is not behaving like a rational actor.

Which is what I think Otto was doing in the eye-gouging trial as well. Taking in information and making a cost-benefit analysis. Aemond's eye was already lost by that point and perhaps he thought there was nothing to be gained politically by further antagonizing Rhaenyra. Alicent was also the one with the knife; she had the upper hand in that moment. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Otto is flawless here - he is not Westeros' no 1 hugger and comforter. For example, he could have interjected himself in support of his daughter, instead of her slowly losing her mind. To further the Tywin comparison, for all his faults, he would have been raging there at the King alongside Cersei. Otto has a different personality - he works more behind the scenes. Nevertheless, I don't think he would have stood idly by if Viserys suddenly decided to start removing the tongues of his family members.

[jessicanjpa]

Twilight Advent Calendar 2023 Event

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Dec. 8 - What was it like for Jasper to train and fight in the Eclipse battle after so many years of peace?

The anticipation is awful. Horrible. Sickening. The very idea of treating Alice and the others—however gently—like soldiers… it burns into him in a way that thirst never could. This was never supposed to happen. They were never supposed to see battle. They were never supposed to see him in battle.*

What if one of them gets hurt? What if one of them loses a hand forever? What if the Volturi get the wrong idea? What if Alice what if Alice what if Alice…

So you can imagine his surprise when the whole experience leaves him feeling… something strangely positive. He can’t even put his finger on what it is. Parsing out his own emotions, ironically enough, has never been Jasper’s strong suit.

It isn’t until the next day—once Alice is positive the Volturi guards’ return to Italy isn’t going to result in another catastrophe—that he is able to sort himself out. He pretends it isn’t an emotion at all, just a physical sensation, and then he’s able to picture it more clearly. Something good and bright and strong is growing inside him. It's pressing outward like it’s too big for his body.

He’s feeling proud, he decides with a private smile. When he turns the emotion around in his mind, when he peers through it to look at each person he loves, he realizes that he is proud of each and every one of them. To be fair, he can’t accurately judge their performance; he’s never led an army of mature vampires before. But when he considers all the variables he can, he’s so very proud of how well they fought. No… that’s not it either. Not all of it.

He’s proud of himself, too.

He rolls up the sleeve on his left forearm and curiously touches the new scars. They’ve already healed and hardened into the pale, numb, ridged shapes he will bear forever. They look and feel exactly like all the others, but they’re different. They’re so different that he’s almost surprised they don’t look it.

So many weary years of violence, so many victories: so many scars, visible and invisible. All to serve causes that had never deserved his allegiance in the first place. But this time he had a cause of his own, and he has won. He has the scars to prove it. These scars were earned, not inflicted. Each one was sealed yesterday with Alice's teasing, gentle kiss as it healed over. He has won them defending her, defending his family. Fighting alongside them. Victory has never felt like this before.

These scars are different.

-

(*If you find this line intriguing, you’ll want to read this short fic by @toxictwilight. Trust me.)

You can find all of the #twilightadvent23 prompts here!

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[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

Thoughts on Sirius’s Ever After

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SIRIUS’S EVER AFTER BELOW THE CUT

Aight I just finished Sirius’s Ever After route on Ikerev TW, so here I am talking about it!

Overall, I thought it was quite a nice route. There were some pretty fluffy moments for Sirius and MC, the reunion of the trio, and Levie being super cute (he made friends with Sirius & Chutney uwu). But...if I’m going to be completely honest...I didn’t particularly enjoy it...

Now, I’m not saying that this is a bad route or that it was badly written. I’m just going to emphasize that THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION!!! PERSONAL OPINION!!!!! PERSONAL OPINION!!!!!!!! (important things should be said thrice)

Also, since I said I didn’t like it, I’m mainly going to be addressing the problems with this route, so sorry in advance for the complaining.

First of all, the MC really lacked involvement. In his main route, Sirius had MC do a lot of menial tasks and refused to let her be in any sort of danger, going so far as to push her down the rabbit hole. Now, in his sequel, she’s still doing the chores and taking care of Chutney, and Sirius still doesn’t let her do anything to contribute. Like, I understand that chores are really important and she’s the only other one who can handle Chutney, but compared to Ray and Lancelot’s MCs, she does seem a little lackluster (Lancelot’s MC became the KING OF HEARTS in his absence!!!). 

To make matters worse, Sirius still barely tells her anything. There’s a lot of scenes in his route where he goes off alone without informing MC where he’s going or what he’s doing. Instead, he asks for her blind trust. It’s touching, but I was still a bit uncomfortable with it. MC is his lover now. They’re in an established romantic relationship. There’s no more excuses for not talking to her. Of course, “he’s just trying to keep her safe,” but I feel like MC deserves to at least have a chance of proving herself beyond being his cheerleader.

And then, there’s Jonah. As you can probably tell by the username, I am a huge Jonah stan, and Jonah doesn’t get painted well in Sirius’s routes. For example, in Sirius’s main route, Jonah acted super jealous and at one point refused to collaborate with the Black Army bc of his personal animosity towards Sirius. And  now, in his sequel, Jonah is again being rude and skeptical and oftentimes unnecessarily hostile. Every time Jonah show up in a scene in Sirius’s route it’s just like, that’s my man there and he’s acting like a total idiot.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t love Jonah any less for it. He’s an extremely flawed character, and that’s what makes him interesting. It’s just annoying to see my favorite character being downplayed into a foil to emphasize Sirius’s maturity and good judgement. 

Finally, we’re at the weakest part of the story: Sirius and MC’s breakup.

Cybird was probably trying to play up the angst for this part, but I didn’t get any angsty feelings at all. I was mainly confused, tbh.

Background: there was an explosion at the Civic Center and MC got injured on her ankle. When Sirius comes back after settling the business with the explosions, he’s like, “it’s full moon right now you should go.” MC was understandably puzzled, so Sirius goes on to explain that Cradle is no longer safe for her anymore and that she should stay at the Land of Reason for a while. She refuses, bc Cradle is her home now and there’s people she cares about here.

Sirius still insists that she should leave, and he says that he can’t fulfill his duties as Queen while still having to protect her from Amon. Basically, he’s saying that he can’t protect her anymore, so she should go somewhere safe. MC promises that she can handle herself, but Sirius still refuses to relent. Finally, MC says that she wants to stay in his world, even if they have to break up. She says that now she’ll be just like any other normal citizen, so Sirius wouldn’t have to keep looking after her.

What???

So...she’s breaking up with him bc she doesn’t want him to worry about her anymore. Except...I don’t think it works that way??? I mean, he’s still gonna care about her, even if they aren’t lovers, so what does this even accomplish?????

You don’t just magically stop being in love with each other after you break up, especially since Sirius and MC were so close before. Maybe I’m understanding this scene wrong, but this all just seems so pointless???

And then MC goes on to be heartbroken about it for several parts, but honestly I didn’t even feel anything while reading through this part bc I was just. So. Confused.

If you’re so worried about MC getitng hurt bc you can’t protect her...there’s still like, 12 other officers and an entire army. Surely he can spare one or two people to keep Alice II, the key to this war, safe. Also, even when she stayed in Cradle, she was perfectly safe. Except for when she got kidnapped later, but Sirius already anticipated it and nothing really happened to her at all. He even had Fenrir follow her secretly!!! Wdym you can’t protect her?????

It’s like Cybird is trying to angst for the sake of angsting, and it’s not working.

I’m sorry that this turned out to be such a negative post. There’s many good scenes in Sirius’s route, like when MC gets injured and Zeta helps with treating her, the trio moments, and the fistbump between Sirius and Ray in the Her Love ending. I guess I just had high expectations for this route, but they weren’t met. 

Also, even at the end of Sirius’s sequel, even though Harr isn’t a fugitive anymore, he still can’t walk on the streets without his hood on. It’s literally been two routes. Harr should totally start a club with Jonah and they can name it the “association for people who were done dirty by Sirius’s routes.”

[trombonesinspace]

Typhoid Mary: feminist femme fatale?

“Season 4 was going to be Typhoid Mary, Alice Eve [who played the role in Iron Fist], we were doing a kind of...I had a much different version of her than what Raven [Metzner] had done in Iron Fist. I was kind of rebooting what she was going to be like, and we were going to do a, you know, kind of a warped love story/murder mystery kind of femme fatale, but kind of a modern-day, feminist version of it, as opposed to kind of the older, sexist kind of femme fatale archetype.”

-Erik Oleson, in conversation with Steven DeKnight, SaveDaredevilCon 

As I said yesterday, I have some thoughts about this! If you want some opinions nobody asked for, about a storyline that may never come to pass, you’ve come to the right place! Let’s dive in.

A femme fatale is a character type with quite a history, that can take various forms. She is always an attractive woman who brings ruin to the man who gets involved with her. But sometimes she is deliberately manipulative, while sometimes she is more a victim of circumstances. She may be evil, or she may be sympathetic/tragic. But whatever her moral alignment, she has two defining traits: sexual allure, and some form of negative consequences for the hero as a result of his involvement with her.

A woman who schemes against the hero, and succeeds in harming him, but without using feminine wiles? Not a femme fatale. The Marvel TV universe has featured several examples on different shows: Madame Gao, Mariah Dillard, Alexandra. And, ironically, the version of Typhoid Mary who appeared in Iron Fist. (We’ll get there.)

A sexy woman who tries to manipulate/damage the hero, but fails? Also not a femme fatale. I wish I could give some examples, but sadly I can’t think of any, in dramas at least. Our current media culture loves a sexy manipulator, no writer ever seems to introduce one into a dramatic story without making her succeed in her schemes, to some extent at least.

Which is unfortunate, from my perspective, because I loathe sexy manipulators. It’s a character type I really dislike, whenever I encounter her. As soon as she shows up, I know the hero is going to fall for her bullshit like a chump, and I’m going to end up respecting him less as a result. I could try to unpack my feelings about this a bit more, but that would probably make a post all on its own, so for now I’ll leave it at that.

This doesn’t mean I hate all femmes fatales—it really depends on her motivation and her behavior. If she isn’t trying to harm the hero, and it happens due to circumstances, then I might like the character, but the story becomes a tragedy. Which is not necessarily bad. Just, you know. Tragic.

Anyway! Let’s talk about Typhoid Mary.

Mary Walker is a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities), and high-level combat skills. In the comics, she is also a mutant with mental powers. She appeared in the Daredevil comics starting in 1988.

In this original version, her personality fragmented due to childhood abuse, leading her to vow as an adult that no man would ever hurt her again. Her personalities are: Mary, who is timid and gentle; Typhoid, who is adventurous, lusty, and violent; and Bloody Mary, who is even more violent, sadistic, and hates all men.

Mary becomes romantically involved with Matt Murdock, who is cheating on his girlfriend, Karen Page, to be with her. At the same time, Typhoid is trying to ruin him, having been hired to do so by the Kingpin. Matt can’t tell they’re the same woman, because when she switches personalities all her bio signs change (voice, scent, heartbeat, etc) so much that he can’t recognize her. (Uh, sure.) She may also be using some of her mutant powers to confuse his senses. I haven’t read the comics, I’m relying here on what I could learn from the internet.

Eventually Typhoid drops him off a bridge, but then Mary finds him and gets him to a hospital, saving him. Karen is with him when he wakes up, but he breaks her heart by calling out for Mary.

This storyline...does not thrill me. As I said, I haven’t read it, but comics writing about mental illness is generally neither nuanced nor accurate, and comics writing about women circa 1988 is also not great, by today’s standards. And comics Matt’s disastrous love life is legendary—cheating on your girlfriend is bad, Matt! Don’t do it! 

I have, however, watched season 2 of Iron Fist, where we get a different version. This Mary Walker is a US army veteran, special ops, who was captured by the Sokovian military. Her personality fragmented due to the brutal abuse she received from her captors for nearly two years, until she finally escaped. She got a medical discharge from the army after being diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Her personalities are: Mary, who is innocent and naive; and Walker, who is a ruthless, coolly efficient mercenary-for-hire. The existence of a third, ultraviolent personality, previously unknown to either Mary or Walker, is revealed near the end of the season. 

Mary meets and befriends Danny Rand, while Walker is hired by his enemies to stalk him, and eventually capture him so they can steal his Iron Fist powers from him. She later changes sides, getting hired to bring down Davos, the season’s main villain, by Joy Meachum, his former ally.

There are clear parallels to the Daredevil comics storyline, albeit in less extreme form—Mary befriends the hero, but isn’t romantically involved with him; her more violent personality works against him and fights him, but doesn’t try to destroy him. 

I enjoyed this version of the character more than I expected to, for a couple of reasons. For one, she is never the out of control, “crazy” stereotype of a person with mental illness. Both Mary and Walker are more-or-less functional adults, managing to live a strange hybrid life, aware of each other’s existence even though they don’t share memories.

But what I especially like is that she isn’t sexualized, at all. It’s incredibly rare, in my experience, to see a young, female antagonist opposing a male hero, and not have her be sexy. Older women are exempt from this obligation (see my list of examples above), but the young ones always vamp it up, and I am so tired of it. I am not opposed to sexy women, but I am very opposed to the requirement that all women must be sexy. (Unless they’re old.) Male antagonists aren’t required to be alluring, so why should women be? (Yes, I know why. I just don’t like it.)

There’s also a lot of potential YIKES in sexualizing a woman with a severe mental illness, which was caused by (among other things) repeated sexual violence. Could it be done in a way that isn’t super problematic? It’s possible, sure. Am I assuming that most television writers would give the subject the respect it deserves? NOPE! 

I’m really glad they chose to just not go there. Walker is extremely good at what she does, takes no shit from anyone, and (almost) never gets riled up. After everything she’s been through, nothing in her present life has the power to faze her, and none of the men around her have the power to intimidate her. It’s pretty great!

She isn’t the least bit coy or seductive, and, equally refreshing, none of the men try to sexualize her or hit on her. Everyone Walker talks to knows she is a highly skilled professional, and they treat her accordingly. Or, when someone does disrespect her, it’s never gendered as far as I can remember, and it stops as soon as she calmly states what she’s going to do to him if it doesn’t.

As for Mary, although she has a more feminine appearance than Walker (hair down and loose, makeup), she is also not sexualized. Her friendship with Danny, who is in an established relationship with Colleen Wing, is platonic, and no one else tries to hit on her that I remember.

So this is the version of Typhoid Mary that Erik Oleson was going to reboot, into a femme fatale. Only, you know. A feminist one. 

I...have some questions. What does that even mean? What does feminism mean to Erik Oleson? Let’s be real, the idea of a woman becoming an ultraviolent, sadistic man-hater as a result of sexual trauma would have been seen as feminist in some circles, back in 1988 when that version was written. So what, exactly, did he have in mind?

As I said before, sexual allure is a necessary component of a femme fatale. So she was definitely gonna be sexy. And you know now how I feel about sexy female antagonists. As for the “warped love story” part...Matt wouldn’t be cheating on Karen, since they aren’t together (please, for the love of mercy, don’t have them get together right before he meets Mary, we did that once and I do NOT want to see it again), but I am still not a fan of Matt/Mary as a couple.

Her Dissociative Identity Disorder raises some serious issues around consent, and even if the show chose to ignore that, there’s still the issue of past sexual trauma. Unless Oleson’s reworking of the character was going to include a completely different back story, a Matt/Mary relationship would mean Matt unknowingly having sex with a woman who has suffered brutal sexual abuse in her past. Not to mention, having sex with her that only one part of her personality actually wants.

Is it possible for someone with Mary’s past trauma and present mental illness to have a positive sexual relationship? In reality, of course! In the hands of writers with only a layman’s knowledge of psychology, on a show that loves to torment its hero, I wouldn’t bet on it. How do you suppose our poster boy for Catholic guilt would react when he inevitably finds out the truth?

Plus, aside from any issues around Mary herself, Matt starting a relationship with anyone other than the handful of people who already know his secret identity, means a whole new round of Matt lying to someone he cares about. Does anyone really want to see that? I know I don’t. Sure, maybe he’d tell her eventually, but how long would they have to date before he decided to trust her with the truth?

I’m not opposed to the Mary Walker from Iron Fist appearing in Daredevil, if the writers could come up with a new story for her (i.e, don’t just have her repeat all the same plot beats with Matt that she already did with Danny). But bringing her in as a femme fatale really doesn’t sit well with me. We’ve already seen Matt in an ultimately destructive relationship with a sexy, violent, morally grey woman. I really don’t want to watch Round 2: now with multiple personalities!

Of course, maybe we never will. The quote at the beginning of this post is from just a couple of weeks ago (July 25 2020), so Erik Oleson still seems to think it’s a fine idea. But obviously we don’t know yet if there will ever be a season 4, or who the show runner will be if there is. He may never get to make the story he was planning.

So yes, I realize I’m merely speculating about a completely theoretical story that may never happen. But I wanted to write this anyway. I had a strong “ugh, no” reaction to the idea of a feminist femme fatale Typhoid Mary, and I wanted to go deeper and pick apart my reasons for not liking the idea.

To the three of you who have read this all the way through to the end (this post is nearly 2000 words, yikes), thank you for indulging me! These are, as always, my own opinions, and YMMV. 

[neurodivergentcosmos]

Opera Streams I’ve Seen So Far Ranking March 20-May 20

I’ve been spending the lockdown watching operas! I haven’t talked about my love for opera on Tumblr before and I’d really like to start doing that more! I’ve loved opera since I was 9 and I’ve been taking professional voice lessons to sing classical art song (since 14) & then also opera (since 17) (not pursuing music as a career though, more for personal joy). I’m a soprano but I also sing some mezzo material. So here’s a list of the 8.5 opera streams I’ve seen up to May 21! 1 (tie) Met La fille du regiment w/ Natalie Dessay & Juan Diego Florez: AH. AH. AH. My absolute favorite romance. The love between Marie (the canteen girl/mascot of a French regiment) & Tonio (young man from the other side) is so wholesome and good, and Natalie & Juan just have wonderful chemistry together. I was invested in their story from beginning to end. Definitely one of two of the most hilarious operas I’ve ever seen. I was practically dying of laughter from the interactions between Marie & her main father figure Sulpice to the music lesson scene. My heart broke when Marie was forced to leave the regiment BUT HAPPY ENDING DID HAPPEN YES YES YES. I loved how Natalie portrayed Marie as a “tomboy.” Natalie as Marie gives me a lot of gender euphoria feelings for my non-binary soul; her freedom in her army outfit & her discomfort in her dress really got me. Most importantly, this is the opera where I heard Juan for the first time. I’m in love w/ his voice. It was how he sang Tonio’s “Pour me rapprocher de Marie” aria where he pours out all his love for Marie  that did it for me. I was totally transported by his voice. When he hit the high C sharp at the end, I felt my breath leave my body for a moment and I was suspended in time for a brief moment & all there was in the world was the bliss of that note. & when the note ended, I came back to my body w/ a lasting sense of awe. It’s so hard to discover such a moment & I did.

1 (tie) Met Le Comte Ory w/ Florez, Diana Damrau, & Joyce DiDonato: The other most hilarious opera I’ve ever seen. OH MY FUCKING GOD I WAS ABSOLUTELY LOSING IT. By far the most wild experience watching opera I’ve had. I actually really liked that there wasn’t much plot b/c I could focus on the hilarity & music. Diana looked like a queen in all of her dresses & I may have loudly sighed “DIANA!” for the whole house to hear when she hit her first high E flat. My friends & I also screamed Joyce’s name a few times whenever she did an amazing run. God they’re the best trio. Juan playing Ory in disguise as a nun killed me. THE THREESOME SCENE MY GOD. My jaw was on the floor. I bet I could watch a million times & the joy of watching it would never get old. 2 Met La Cenerentola w/ DiDonato, Florez, Luca Pisaroni, Alessandro Corbelli, & Pietro Spagnoli: Officially my favorite version of the Cinderella story. I enjoyed the plot of Don Ramiro (the prince) & Dandini (the valet) switching identities & getting to be in on it. I wish there were way more women though. I could listen to Joyce do the coloratura runs in Angelina/Cenerentola’s final aria for days. Angelina just deserves the world & the portrayal of her as an abuse survivor felt very real to me. While scenes exploring that were at times difficult to watch, I appreciated seeing a production that to me actually addressed that part of the Cinderella story that I haven’t seen in other depictions of Cinderella so far. I’m intrigued by Angelina’s decision to forgive her abusive family b/c I’d struggle w/ that if I was in her position & I love that she makes her own choice. My fave aspect of La Cenerentola was that Ramiro was a fully fledged passionate character. I could write a whole post about him about the way he eschews social norms in some ways & how this makes him & Angelina’s love a more equal relationship. Ramiro throwing a chair at Angelina’s abusive family in rage over how they treated her made me feel a lot. Love this opera so much. 3 Met Un Ballo in Maschera w/ Marcelo Alvarez, Dmitri Hvorostovsky, Sondra Radvanovsky, & Kathleen Kim: ALL THE MUSIC IN THIS JUST WOW. Dmitri & Sondra both took my breath away w/ their voices in their duet. I was in awe of Sondra’s sound during her big aria. W/ Dmitri especially I just adored his vocal color & the way he completely embodied Renato in such a heart shattering way that I felt so much for Renato even when I was angry at him. Kim as Oscar is officially my 2nd fave trouser role (next to Le Comte Ory’s Isolier); Oscar was so adorable. I enjoyed watching Alvarez’s infectious overconfident energy as Riccardo & then his character development in the final act. 4 Met Werther w/ Jonas Kaufmann, Sophie Koch, & Lisette Oropesa: Most visually stunning opera production I’ve seen so far. A review I read described this production as more Charlotte’s story than Werther’s story, & I really loved how that centered Charlotte’s perspective. I really like that the opera allows characters’ actions & intentions to be ambiguous & open to interpretation. However, I do feel that the production didn’t explore enough certain aspects of Werther’s character such as his yearning for family. Jonas & Sophie have incredible chemistry & I could feel the tension every moment of their scenes. I must give a special mention to Jonas being incredible at singing soft. YES. & he’s a wonderful actor.  5 Zurich Werther w/ Florez & Anna Stephany: Very different production & I’d say it emphasizes Werther’s story. My absolute favorite thing about this production was that it centered how Werther’s search for love w/ Charlotte is also very much a search for the family he may not had experienced before. In that way, Werther singing “O Nature” looking at Charlotte’s family instead of literal nature made so much sense to me. While I think that some of the production’s concepts could’ve been executed better, the production’s attention to family as a theme & Juan’s portrayal of Werther were wonderful. I won’t compare Juan & Jonas’ vocals to each other b/c their voices are completely different from each other in terms of tenor voice type & thus what they each bring to Werther vocally is so different. I love both of them as Werther very much. Juan brings a lot of fiery passion to Werther that is intense & amazing to experience. 6 Met L’Elisir D’Amore w/ Matthew Polenzani, Pretty Yende, Ildebrando D’Arcangelo, & Davide Luciano: While not my favorite opera comedy, there were many funny scenes. Ildebrando as Dulcamara & Pretty as Adina were my favorites vocally & dramatically. I was very gay for Adina in her dress & top hat combo. I especially love that she still wore the top hat while in her wedding dress! Matthew was a great fit for Nemorino & the way he sung on “Una furtiva lagrima” was beautiful. 7 Met Macbeth w/ Anna Netrebko, Zeljko Lucic, Rene Pape, & Joseph Calleja: This was very good, but I personally didn’t feel emotionally connected to the action & characters. I love how Lady Macbeth is centered & Anna is a good actor. Rene as Banquo was my absolute favorite in this. OH GOD I LOVE HIM. MY FAVORITE BASS. I am in love w/ his vocal color & that he can sing w/ great power but also heartbreakingly soft. AH RENE.   8 1st hour & a half Met Idomeneo w/ Polenzani, Alice Coote, Nadine Sierra, & Elza van den Heever: I really wanted to like this one, especially as I’ve sung Mozart before plus I’d heard that Matthew is great in Mozart. Matthew & Elza were my favorites and I could not take my eyes off of them when they were on stage. Matthew as Idomeneo is absolutely up there among the best acting I’ve seen in opera. Elza as Elettra was incredible vocally & dramatically & I loved her chaos. Personally, I could only get the 1st hour & a half b/c the plot for me needed more forward momentum & this is mainly a production staging & libretto issue. So that’s the operas I’ve watched so far! Thank you for reading & I look forward to watching more!

[blackarmyslave]

Masquerade [IkeRev]

Pairing: Ray Blackwell x Alice

Fandom: Ikemen Revolution

Notes: really trashy writing oof

Pshh dont act so suprised its another ray thing

Alice hated masquerade balls.

She hated them with a passion. There was just something irritating about them... how those disgustings pigs, commonly referred to as men, often tried to lure her into bed; or how, every time she talked to women, their conversations would almost always end up in gossips about her family's riches that were acquired with bloody hands, and how they killed countless people under a single man's orders, not knowing the person they were talking to about it is part of said family. Yet despite her loathing for occasions like these, Alice would still have to attend, for it was the only way she could fraternize with others. Her family was shunned by society for being such a hideous and brutal one. But here, in masquerade balls, she can wear a mask and pretend to be someone else and mingle to her heart's content. Nobody would know it was a girl from a bloody household.

Once or twice, Alice had danced with a few nobilities she considered decent enough for her. Those who weren't pedophiles, she conversed with. Those who were purely sober, she'd bonded with. But it was way past midnight now and she had gotten bored of the ball. A woman can only take so much soulless dancing and meaningless political talks. Not to mention the rough mask that hid her face from bashers, was starting to irritate her sensitive porcelain skin.

With a forced smile, the young descendant of the country's most infamous household excused herself from the festivities and went to the garden. Truly, it was a beautiful garden. The flowers were in full bloom and the breeze was refreshing. Alice stretched, in a way that was very undignified. Yet she couldn't care less. Her muscles were sore from keeping up a flawlessly upright posture all this time, and she was bored beyond measure.

The itch on her face that was long there reached its peak, and Alice couldn't take it anymore. She moved to dispose her mask until a voice warned her, "It's rude to take off your mask in a ball like this."

It was a man's voice, smooth like the waves and light as the garden's breeze. Undoubtedly, it had belonged to a young man... a cool young man. But Alice despised people who dared talk to her so fondly. She swirled around to reprimand whoever it had been.

"I don't recall holding responsibility to oblige," she retorted, her prissy tone leaking with every syllable. One corner of the man's lips slowly curled upwards in an amused smirk.

"Then by all means, go embarrass yourself."

Alice scoffed with irritation. Who does this man think he is? Yes, it's true that taking off your mask is a big no in a masquerade ball, but--

Oh.

She suddenly felt like smacking her forehead. If she takes the accessory off, she's to reveal her identity. And no doubt receive countless ridicules. And Alice didn't want that, especially from a man like him. Her cheeks flushed in realization. Suddenly the girl wanted to keep it on and couldn't feel the itch anymore.

"You're from the infamous Bright household, aren't you? Alice Bright, if I'm correct; twin sister of Edgar Bright, the Jack of Hearts and known as the Gentle Demon." surprise mf

Alice took her time studying the man. How had he known about her? What gave it away? What had she done to inform him of her identity? Most of all, who is this bastard? He was handsome, without a doubt, even with a mask on; black hair and intense emerald eyes, containing a youthful aura, but at the same time holding himself with such composed regality. His body was carved to perfection. He wore a simple yet dazzling dark sapphire mask with round diamonds literring it, the suit on his body looking ridiculously expensive.

Dark and regal... only one name clicked in the girl's head: the popular and widely loved King of Spades.

"I take it you're King Ray Blackwell...?"

The man rolled his eyes distastefully at the attached title. But he made no move to deny his identity, something that's against tradition. 'How hypocritical,' Alice thought dryly.

"Forget the King part, it's too preppy for my tastes," he said. "Just Ray is fine."

Alice rose a thin eyebrow. For a king, Ray Blackwell was too casual. She's always depicted him as cold and dignified, with no intention of fooling around; just like the opposing King of Hearts. Yet here he was: the Black King himself who didn't give a horse's muck whether people found out about his identity or not, speaking informally as if he'd known Alice all their lives.

'Charming-- I mean, preposterous! Ghastly!'

Well... what can she say? It's her first time meeting a man like Ray; someone true to himself and didn't stumble foolishly in a vain attempt of becoming the perfect gentleman.

But no. In the Bright household, emotions were a mortal sin. It was the biggest crime. And Alice grew up all her life believing it.

Naturally, she ignored her fluttering heart.

"So," Alice walked around the garden with Ray. She hadn't even noticed how her irritation with him had suddenly faded after witnessing his genuine personality. "The King of Spades is a fan of balls, then?"

Ray snorted. "Heck no. What makes you think that just because I attend 'em, I like 'em? Isn't everyone only here for the sake of making connections?"

"Probably." Alice would be damned if she voiced her agreement. "And does that rule apply to you as well, sire?"

Ray gave the girl a disgusted look. She only blinked, urging him to voice out what took him aback.

"Okay. One, it doesn't. I'm just here to let loose for a bit. Second... Cut that formality out! It's creepy." "Why so? Do your soldiers not address you that way?"

Ray's green orbs took on a fond light, giving Alice the answer right away, as if his memories of his subordinates were all warm and cozy. One could tell he was a good leader and a true king by just a glance of that. And maybe, she thought, he was a brother, too; a brother to the rest of his army. Alice wondered how they treated each other... did they eat at the same table? Did they disregard ranks and fraternized comfortably? Was it like a home in the Black Army's headquarters?

"They address me as a king during official business, yes," he replied. "But we're just ourselves around one another for most of the time. Parties every week or so, lots of laughter and pranks... it's like a brotherhood."

The faintest trace of a smile ghosted the girl's lips. "It sounds lovely."

From there, it went on and on. Ray asked Alice what was her favorite animal, to which she replied cats for they were elegant and had the cutest little mewls; and much to her surprise, Ray shared her thoughts. She, in return, asked him what he thought about table etiquette, and he laughed at just how preppy Alice was being. Nevertheless, he answered her, saying "I think dining fancily's fine if serious stuff are going on, like funerals or oathtakings. It's a way of showing respect. But people shouldn't be judged by how they act at the table. In fact, class shouldn't even be a social judgement or something. 'Course, this is just my opinion. And I think table manners should be kept to a minimum. People deserve to enjoy their food and time without fear of being critiqued of how classy or polite they are. They should be able to be just themselves in a table, because after all, that honesty's bound to form really tight relationships real quick, no?"

A bit more of talking and before she even knew it, it had been past 3AM now. Alice never thought it would be so fun to converse with the king. He was honest and frank, yet still respectful and even funny. They shared a lot of opinions about several topics, and one's answer changed the perspective of the other. The Bright lady wished to the twinkling stars high above she'd get another chance at talking with Ray in the future.

Now, Alice knew she shouldn't be rooting for the opposition. Her household is a Red through and through. In fact, her brother's the Jack of Hearts himself! At the back of her head, the ever-obedient little prodigy of the Bright family screamed at her to get away and cut off all connections with Blackwell. 'What do you think you're doing?!' a part of her screeched.

But right now, she wasn't really a Bright. She was just Alice. Little ol' Alice, who came to a masquerade ball in hopes of being able to talk to whoever she wants without her status bothering her. And she wasn't ready to throw that away just yet, and return to her uptight lifestyle.

'Just not yet, please,' she pleaded with her own self.

Suddenly, a slow, hopeful, smooth tune took on. It was faint and distant, coming from the ballroom many yards away. Yet she and Ray both heard it, the melody carried by the wind to their ears, and Ray took the cue.

"May I have this dance, Alice?" He asked her, the gentlest, most handsome smile on his lips, offering her his hand, and the girl's heart skipped a beat.

Had it been any other man; a pretentious, try-hard fake gentleman or a drunk bastard, she would've slapped. But no... not this one. He was a bastard, yes, the feisty part of her claimed, but he was a good bastard. A modest, decent, alright bastard.

Alice let her face be lit up by a grin. It had been her first in so long. She placed her hand on top Ray's and they both started dancing to the slow, almost-romantic music, everything else fading and all they could feel was this blossoming warmth in their souls.

And long after the song was over, and all was said and done, they still remained in one another's embrace. Red and Black forgetting their blazing feud for even just a moment; even in just a masquerade ball. They're just Alice and Ray, each silently praying dawn never comes and they'd never have to say theeir goodbyes.

Alice giggled under her breath. She'd decided. Maybe masquerades aren't so bad after all.

[alloveroliver]

Amon x MC “In The Grand Scheme Of Things.”

Fluff; Amon Jabberwock

WC: 2,861

When Alice is found by Amon first, what role does she play within his ultimate goal?

Chapter 1

Ikemen Revolution Fanfic

Amon stared straight ahead as he purposefully past her workstation. He wasn't going to look at her but was doing his due diligence to keep an eye on her. “You did good, boss,” Alice called out to him as he walked past her. Amon jerked his head around, eyes wide. His jaw ticked when he stopped dead in his tracks to face her. Her special work zone was towards the outer wall of the large open room, away from the scholars that were sure to bore her. Her delicate hands pulled apart pieces of a broken magic crystal, still glowing while dipped in a sparkling blue essence. The liquid crystal proved to keep they stone alive long enough for someone with magic-canceling powers to pluck it apart. Separating the pieces on small disks, keeping them submerged for days at a time proved fruitful. This technique made new smaller crystals they could grow, helping immensely in multiplying their production. “You don’t have to praise me. I know what I’m capable of.” Amon straightened his spine, fixing his posture. His long silvery hair hung around his face in tendrils. Amon observed her minute movements as she carefully filled the circular disks with the fragments. A knowing smile curled the ends of her lips when she caught him staring out of the corner of her eye. “It’s not praise,” She glanced over her shoulder with a smirk. “I’m merely stating facts.” A sliver of light from above glinted in his natural topaz eyes, watching Alice continue her work. He was glad she was willing to help even after his men treated her like scum the first night. Amon saw the hope in her eyes and ran with it, becoming protective of her. The men that captured her weren’t allowed near hear, and the cell block they initially threw her in was avoided at all costs. Simple hospitality and a warm smile every once in a while made her quite an agreeable guest in his tower. After a few weeks with the girl, Amon finally trusted her enough to fulfill a job for him. The only job none of his other subjugates could do unless they held her special powers. He could kill two birds with one stone, testing her abilities while also using them to grow more crystals for their cause. Amon's goals were to have buckets full of new crystals to bring with him through the looking glass by the time the next full moon arrived. “Well,”  He cleared his throat after a long pause. “In that case, I suppose I will allow you to speak your mind as you wish.” 

She looked up at him through thick lashes, biting back a smile. “Amon, that’s awfully kind of you to say.” She giggled, and the sound warmed his chest. Moving his head a quarter to the right,  his hair blocked his face from exposing the deep blush that settled over his features. “It’s not kind. It’s self-serving, even the densest cupcake could see that.” “Are you comparing me to something sweet?” Her face lit up, white teeth sparkling at him. Amon looked away, wondering why she wasn’t even the least bit scared of him. Even though he was hospitable, he remained stern towards her to make sure she was kept in line. The audacity that she would flirt with him sent his heart throbbing in his ears. She enraptured him. His eyes wandered over her gorgeous features, noting the curve of her lips, the dimple on her cheek, and the way her silky hair framed her round face. Seeing her bite her lip, his eyes shot back to hers capturing him in a silent gaze. “Speaking of food,” Amon averted his curious eyes. “Dinner will be ready soon.” “What’s on the menu for tonight, boss?” “Roast beef, a charred vegetable salad, and layered shortcake piled high with strawberries.” His mouth watered as he listed the menu, empty stomach echoing. “That’s my favorite!” “I know- I mean good.” He turned away from her, heading back down the path he was leading before. “It’s enough energy to make sure you can finish your task before bed.” “Now that I think about it... that kind of sounds like your meal.” Alice looked quizzically at him for a long moment. He turned back after a few steps. Typically every one would eat out of the cafeteria, all the same, meal eaten whenever hunger would strike. It was never a fancy meal like Amon listed, and desert was rarely served. “It’s what we will be having if you will join me in my private dining hall.” Amon felt immediately awkward. He wanted to spend more time with her, endlessly curious of the inner workings of her mind. It was the curiosity any scientist would have of their test subject, was it not? Still, he couldn’t help the blush that dusted his cheeks when she gasped. “I will! Thank you for the invitation.” “Meet me in the dining room at 7.” He continued his exit, quicker this time. Poor girl, she was far too happy to be in a place like this. Amon was beginning to grow slightly concerned for her. Anyone could take advantage of her kindness, draining Alice’s giving heart until she was nothing but a shell of her former self. He knew her well enough to know Alice wasn’t the kind of person to let the needy starve. He reflected on the night he and his men found her, watching the young lady float from the sky as if she were a feather adrift in the wind. If he knew what kind of person she was from the start maybe he would have never allowed them to take her by force. Once he figured out how much easier it was to sway her with honied words and basic kindness, Amon had no need for threats. Maybe it changed him, going out of his way to make sure she wasn't scared or harmed. The kind gestures suddenly came to him easier the more he used them on her. This kindness made his men think of him as weak, however, all but stepping on their neck proved to put them back in their place. No one was to cross him, and his kindness towards her was soon understood to them as a rouse to keep the new Alice in line. He hoped that's all he was doing. There was no need for distractions when his goals were so clear to him. This world they lived in was corrupt. Amon was born into a war-torn country, one side dead set on absorbing the other. The anxiety’s from his childhood clouded his mind, forgetting anytime he spent playing outside with the other children, remembering only the spurts where he and his family had to hastily pack everything and evacuate due to a battle that had a chance to set their entire town on fire. Living on the outskirts of the cradle was their families only option due to his father's simple job as a goat farmer and his mother's joint help producing butter from their milk. Twice in his life, he remembered the armies decimating their miniature farm entirely with only a magical outburst, killing their goats and the small number of chickens they had for personal use. It was clear to Amon from a young age he would never be able to attend the prestigious schools like all the other kids. With his family having to start over from scratch countless times, money never stayed long in their pockets. However, he was determined to make it into a position of power any way he could, unlike his father. The armies ruined his family's lives but furthermore destroyed the Cradle itself. He didn’t know one person that wasn't touched the horrific realities of war. With an iron fist, the Cradle could flourish. No one else seemed to have the foresight he did when it came to the future of the Cradle. That left him, a simple man gifted with magic that was desperate for change, to make sure the future of everyone was safe. Concise boundaries and strong laws were the only way. Knowing the obvious consequences, everyone would stay in line making sure war would never break out again. The current armies were even more idiotic than their predecessors. He found it most helpful to keep any knowledge of the troops away from Alice to protect his vision. If she knew how incapable the armies were at sharing the Cradle, Alice might use her big heart to try to join them together to a singular goal. However, that wasn’ t Amons vision anymore. Decidedly, neither of the armies had a strong enough hand to rule the Cradle in the way it needed to be. With a long sigh, Amon prepared himself for dinner. He changed out of his usual attire into a button-down shirt and navy slacks. Rolling up the sleeves, he exposed the end of his intricate tattoo that snaked all the way up to his shoulder, covering his entire right arm. The swirling smoky design of the ink was littered with the symbolism of his life goal and his magical status in the tower. Being the most powerful person here came with many badges, all of them permanently inked into his skin. As he proceeded to leave his bedroom, cluttered with half-open books and dimming crystals, he spotted his reflection in the full-length mirror. His glistening copper eyes stood out against his pale hair. The deep iris’s held many dark secrets that, even to him, should always remain buried. Smooth skin stretched over high cheekbones, glowing iridescent under the large crystal lighting his room.  Amon tucked in his shirt, giving it a firm tug to smooth creases, then fixing the collar before finally leaving. To the footman that served him in the dining hall, he requested a complimentary wine to pair with dinner. Suggesting something on the sweeter side to make sure it would please Alice’s pallet. The room was tinged in blue due to the color of the chandelier, scattering twisted and curled shadows on the walls. He sat, waiting for her. Seven O’Clock came and went. The ticking of the clock on the wall grated on Amon's nerves. Every tick felt like a crack of the whip, and every tock was like a  hammer pounding his skull. She was late, but why? Of course, she didn’t want to be around him. He never treated her the way she deserved. His words were always curt and actions bland. He didn’t blame her really. There was no need for niceties when his goal was so close he could taste the ashes on his tongue. The timepiece ticked deafeningly loud, slicing through his nerve endings. Every second that past was a reminder of how unworthy he was of her affections. Many found him to be a despicable lowlife, useful to only the maggots that would eat his corpse one day, Alice would soon think the same. The echo of the bolt disengaging jolted him back to reality. His heart pounded louder than the clock while, as if in slow motion, Alice's face appeared behind the heavy door. All sounds disappeared when she moved into the dining hall. An apologetic smile framed her painted red lips. “The um,-” Her laugh filled the room and tousled curls swayed away from her face. “The halls are confusing out this way. I got lost. Sorry!” Words were caught in his throat as she came closer, her heels echoed in the chamber with a satisfying click. When her brows scrunched with concern due to the lack of response, he shut his agape jaw and cleared his throat. “It’s fine. I hadn’t noticed you were running late.” Adjusting his collar, he stood to pull the chair out next to him. He couldn’t keep his eyes from raking over her form, drinking in her unearthly beauty. The long silk dress accentuated Alice’s frame, flowing down her back and smoothing over the curves. He held the chair for a moment as she sat. His hands were so close to her he could feel the warmth radiation onto his fingertips. “Oh,” She exasperated. “I was worried you’d start eating without me.” Smiling while looking down at the empty table in front of her. He helped push her chair in, then took his seat by her side. Gulping down a large swig of wine, he spotted her eyeing his exposed forearm. Alice’s eyes followed the swirling designs of the ink wordlessly. “I will call for the footman to serve us at once.” He averted his eyes, feeling hot as he gulped down the last of his wine. Alice played with a piece of her hair while the footman filled their glasses again with the intoxicating liquid. “This wine is sweeter than I’m used to. It’s closer to a dessert wine.” The glass chimed when he hit his silverware with the stem by accident. Alice’s eyes sparked, taking a sip of the cooling liquid. The footman placed the first course in front of them silently. “Mm! The wine is divine!” She peered down at the entree. “ and this smells amazing!” “It does, feel free to being.” He tried to keep a smug smile off his face. It was hard not to feel a bit proud that he picked the perfect combination of items that Alice loved. Of course, he asked her in the weeks prior what she preferred, but hitting the nail on the head swelled his chest. “So, you must really like chess.” She asked, silverware tapping against the plate. “What gave you that impression?” He cocked a brow. “Well,” She finished chewing, wiping her face with the cloth napkin. “Your tower is littered with many different decorative game pieces. I figured you are a huge fan, that’s all.” He grinned, catching her in a hypnotic gaze. “It’s a game of wits, but also strategy. You have to look beyond your opponent's motives to predicted what they would do, instead of what they’re currently doing, to win the game. It’s intriguing. That’s all.” “Do you like playing, or watching more?” Alice asked quizzically as she broke the gaze to take a sip of the deep red wine. She sat down the glass, leaving an imprint of lipstick on the rim. Amon stared at the crystal glass, at the ghost of her lips. “I-” He pulled his collar, suddenly hot. Her legs uncrossed and crossed again. “I enjoy both. Why?” Alice rubbed the back of her calf with the toe of her heel slowly. “Just wondering. You seem to me like the kind of man that would oversee others as they played their games. Coaching many people during several games at once, perhaps.” “You see me as a leader?” “Of course, you lead all the people here. Do you not? It isn’t that far fetched of an idea.” She shrugged, taking another sip from the glass. “I suppose not.” Amon hid his grin behind his own wine glass. He watched her fidget in her chair as dinner went on as if something were on her mind. Her chest was rising and falling slower the more comfortable conversation became. Alice glanced at him several times, the fire in her gaze catching him off guard. She bit her lip when he didn’t look away, stirring the butterflies in his stomach. Alice was gorgeous, dazzling, beautiful, “Exquisite.” “What?” Her brows shot up, pink dusting her cheeks instantly. “I’m sorry.” Amon gulped. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” He used his cloth napkin to wipe his mouth, tossing onto his plate absently. At the sign of his plate being finished, the footman rushed over to take his dishware. “Are you done, Sir?” The footman plucked the plate from its spot at once. “Sure,” He fumbled with his wine glass, heat searing his cheeks and ears. “Would you like for me to bring the dessert out now?” The footman asked, picking up Alice’s plate as well. “Yes.” His voice echoed into the crystal cup.

The waiter's body blocked Alice from view as he took her plate. Once the young man moved out of the way, Amon and Alice were caught in another stare. She eyed him curiously. Silence stretched as the waiter left them alone in the dining hall. “Is this a date?” Her red lips parted, sitting up straighter. “No, no of course… not” He cursed himself inwardly. This evening had all the workings of a date. Amon wanted this to be a date more than he’d ever admit. “Oh,” Alice’s face fell, the sparkle in her eyes dimming. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I mean, if you want it to be, then yes.” “I only want this to be a date if it’s consensual between both of us.” Her eyes cut to him poignantly. “I want it to be.” Amons stomach flopped. The space between them seemed to fill with static electricity. Finally, Alice's lips perked up again. Oh, how he missed that smile as if it had been gone for ages. “So do I,” Alice spoke softly.

.

.

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[Read Chapter 2- Cathartic] - Coming Soon

New Years resolution #1, write my first multi-chapter fan fic. I’m giving him a backstory and keeping him the villain! Honestly, this was just a simple request for Amon fluff that ran away from me sooo Thanks, Anon!

Chapter 2 will feature adult content. I will be released later this week!

ML // KOFI // AO3

𝔸𝕊ℍ - 𝔸𝕝𝕝𝕆𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕆𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣

[malereader-inserts]

Loving You

Fandom: Twilight Pairing: Leah Clearwater x Male!Reader Summary: Love isn’t easy, but that wasn’t going to stop you. Word Count: 1587 Request: How about a Leah Clearwater x Male reader with prompt 97. Like she's scared that she imprinted/loved someone again and the reader is super nice and kind to her. Maybe some kisses though it's not needed. Thanks. Prompt: “Nothing in life is random, nothing is ever accidental. Things happen for a reason and when they happen they have to. Don’t fight it.”

When Leah imprinted, Sam went berserk.

The wolves had a headache for a whole straight week from listening to them mind conversations, for a whole week Leah and Sam were arguing. Leah was her own person, she wasn’t with Sam anymore, therefore, Sam doesn’t own her, nor he did in the first place.

Leah had met her imprint when she was forced to be on the protect Bella from a newborn army. She had seen you, the other token human. You were from La Push, the boys had seen you around high school, but never thought you were mixed up in the supernatural.

She had stared into you (e/c) eyes and was in a sudden attraction to be with you. When she was training with her pack, she couldn’t help but keep looking at your way, which she got an earful during training and afterwards.

Leah had dreamt the day she would imprint, she felt like she was finally free from Sam. She never thought that she would ever imprint as there was so much evidence that only males can do it, and she was a she-wolf, unknown to anyone. 

She asked Seth to keep an eye on you, you were a year older than most of the boys in the pack. You were in your senior year, about to graduate therefore making you two years younger than her, not that it mattered, she was just ecstatic that she had imprinted.

But, in the back of her mind, she was scared. She had only loved someone once and looked at how that went for her. And there you were as if you were some king on a throne with a caring smile and spark in your eyes. Imprinting wasn’t described as love at first sight, but god she had it bad. 

Edward had told you about the wolves and imprint when Leah had done it on you, you weren’t offended, in fact, you were flattered. You did find her wolf the prettiest, the white wolf. 

You asked Alice about your future, but she had given you a soft smile and shook her head as she explained that shapeshifters blocked her visions but proceeded to give you an hour lecture on how to treat Leah right and showing pictures of her and her brother.

So, when you had come back to LA Push high school on Monday, you see Seth standing with the pack, which you tried to identify each and every single one of them, with his eyes narrowing at you. You send the young boy a smile and a wink before walking into the school.

Seth’s day was brightened up as he frantically texted his sister before happily making his way to his first class. At lunch, he had approached you by your locker with a grin.

“Hi, I’m Seth Clearwater.”

You had looked at him as he held out his hand, you smiled before shaking his hand, “Pleasure to meet you, Seth, I’m (Y/n) (L/n).”

You had shut your locker as Seth nodded, “Yeah, you’re my sister’s imprint.”

“So, I’ve been told.”

“Would you like to have dinner with my family tonight?”

You were taken aback at the question, you had barely met the kid and you hadn’t actually met your imprinter. You thought everything was moving quickly since everyone was still getting back to normal after the fight with the newborn army that happened over the weekend.

“What?”

“Well, you have graduation on Friday and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity,” Seth spoke awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly with a soft grin.

You smiled, unable to say no to the kid, “Alright, just send me your address, I’ll be there for what time?”

“Six!” Seth grinned as he wrote his address on your hand before dashing down the corridor.

You chuckled to yourself, wondering what type of family you were about to get into.

You had knocked on the door, nervously holding sunflowers in hand as you shifted the balance between your feet. The door swung open and you were met with your imprinter. Your breath was taken away as she had widened her eyes and suddenly disappearing from your sight, Seth smiled awkwardly behind before allowing you to come in.

You were given a hug by Sue, she had told you to call her by name before complimenting your flowers and put them on show. 

“Seth, where’s Leah?” Sue asked, cutting a bit of the stem and sticking it in fresh new water.

“She ran away when (Y/n) came,” Seth spoke as he got the table ready, shrugging his shoulders.

Sue looked at you apologetic, “I’m sorry (Y/n), It-”

“It’s okay, I know the story,” You softly smiled, she sends you a grateful smile.

“I’m going to talk to her,” Sue had spoken, looking at Seth, “Keep (Y/n) entertained.”

You had laughed as Seth looked like a puppy given ice cream as Sue left the kitchen to her daughter’s bedroom. Knocking on the door before entering. Seeing Leah sat on the bed, looking unsure.

“Seth’s an idiot.”

“Honey, he was trying to help,” Sue had sat down on the bed as Leah gives her a sigh, looking at her, “(Y/n) is a really nice boy, he came with flowers.”

Leah softly smile, “Still, what if I’m not supposed to be the one for him? Am I really sure that I should be in love, what if I don’t deserve it or him?”

Questions had run through Leah’s head, you were stuck on her mind. Your charming smile and melodic laughter she had heard during the day she imprinted on you. She had to stop thinking about you because she didn’t want another argument to rise between her and Sam.

“Leah, I am your mother and as your mother I am here to give you advice,” Sue spoke with force, as Leah looked at her, “Nothing in life is random, nothing is ever accidental. Things happen for a reason and when they happen they have to. Don’t fight it.“

“But mom-”

“Imprinting in inevitable, I remember how you wished to imprint on someone so badly,” Sue smiles, rubbing her daughter’s back, “You don’t have to fall in love with him, remember? He can be a brother, a best friend.”

“Thanks, mom,” Leah spoke with a genuine smile, “Can I have a moment?”

“Sure honey.”

Sue had left as Leah took a moment, she had looked outside her bedroom window, remembering how it was to be in love. Her heart jumped excitedly as he thoughts caught her off guard as she jumped at the sound of you knocking on her door.

She had looked at you, your shoulder leaning against her doorway, “Hey.”

Your voice was soft and comforting to her, the wolf inside cooed as you gave her a tight friendly smile.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have unexpectantly entered your house. I thought that Seth would have told you and-”

“You speak a lot,” Leah interrupted as you looked embarrassed, but she simply smiled before patting a seat next to her.

You hesitantly moved from your spot before slowly making your way over, sitting on her bed with a distance between you two as your foot slowly tapped a beat. Trying to calm your nerves as Leah smiled to herself, liking your little details about yourself.

The silence was comfortable, something she wouldn’t mind sitting with you.

“I know what happened,” You had started, as Leah tense next to you, but you had looked at her with kind eyes, “It’s a shame someone like you had to go through that, you seem to be one of a kind.”

“You don’t have to pity me.”

“I’m not,” You were standing your ground as your finger fiddle with the hem of your shirt, “I’d like to know you better, I know what imprinting is or at least have some vague idea of it, maybe I’m your start of something better, brighter and much more exciting.”

Leah looked at you, her eyes full of hope, “You’d think?”

“I want you to be so in love that you are in a state of permanent blush.” You commented offhandedly as she laughed at your flattery, “But, yes, I could see us having a future. We’ll go at your pace if you choose to accept me.”

Leah had never been asked like this, but your boyish smile and eyes that sparkle like the night skies had her captivated. She had seen almost everything when she was imprinting and finally, she felt excitement course through.

“Okay.”

She was soft, this was the moment all her walls came down. After months of trying to get over Sam. You sat here, next to her as you open your arms. She laughs and shakes her head before accepting your hug. Her arms wrapping around your torso as your arms wrapped around her, perfectly as if you were two missing pieces in a jigsaw.

Your arms were protective around her as she leans her head against your chest, hearing the calming beats of your heart. At this point, she knew this is where she wanted to be. Wrapped against you, where she could feel the love and care radiating from you, she felt safe for once. She felt like she belonged.

Softly you had kissed her head, Leah smiled to herself because you were soft, gentle and adoring all at once. Leah could feel herself loving you and for her, she couldn’t wait for what the future held for you two.

[iambenjiijackson]

The Groove Guide - Reviews 2008

The Prodigy - Experience Expanded/More Music For The Jilted Generation With the advent of British big beat/hard dance merchant's The Prodigy's fifth studio album, released by their new record label Take Me to the Hospital, it was inevitable that XL Recordings and Maverick undertook the same treatment EMI gave Radiohead and Capitol gave The Vines in releasing previous albums to capitalize off their success. However, rather than a traditional "Best Of" compilation which, well, has already been done, the shrewd move was to re-master two albums which helped both shape the big beat scene and redefine techno and rave with added b-side and live track bonuses. Experience and Music For The Jilted Generation both became important albums for the dance music scene; where Experience expanded upon early rave culture and fused jungle and techno with tracks such as "Out Of Space" and "Everybody Into The Place", both remixed and contained on the "Expanded" section of this re-release, it's ...Jilted Generation which provided a crossover between the underground to their critically and commercially acclaimed Fat Of The Land; the edgier, almost industrialized sounds emanating from "Break & Enter", "Their Law" and the Nirvana-sampling "Voodoo People" bridging ravers and rockers into the Big Beat sound that sculpted the likes of The Chemical Brothers, The Crystal Method and Fatboy Slim and gave birth to what we now know as 'electronica.' B-Sides from their single releases, live tracks from their most recent stints at Pukkelpop and remixes from Dust Brothers, the real reward is the re-mastering of the songs and highlighting that despite today's standards highlighting fluro, glamour and fashionista sensibilities, it never needs to be that way.

Los Campesinos  - Hold On Now, Youngster

If you're not really a fan of twee, this may change your mind. Welsh sextuplet Los Campesinos have been making an impression within the 'indie' scene, but rather that come across sophisticated and potentially haughty, the group have a power-pop element which comes across as fun. Catchy, with the ability to muster a smile upon the face of anyone (case point - "You! Me! Dancing!), Hold On Now, Youngster... is nigh on flawless and is once again more proof Wales, who have provided a number of influential acts in the past two decades, are doing something right nurturing their countries music scene.

Akaname - Filthlicker

The internet seems to heavily favour bands of Akaname's variety for good reason - while mainstream outlets omit such "radio unfriendly" one might be inclined to state as being on "Filthlicker", the internet and it's at times quite staunch view on bands place emphasis on talent rather than aesthetics. What we have with Filthlicker is a band who are mixing one part The Dillinger Escape Plan with five parts The Black Dahlia Murder to a great accord. New Zealand's music scene has just been hit with another metal(core) slug to its chest – one that'll be fired on April 11th at Oblivion in Auckland.

Goodnight Nurse - Keep Me On Your Side Goodnight Nurse seem to have turned a trick used by Blink 182; from that bubblegum-esque pop they once honed during their "Always and Never" era, there seems to be a more serious straight-ahead approach to the band. Almost breaking away from the quasi boy-meets-girl, girl-breaks-boys heart formula their new album makes them sound a little less New Found Glory and, strangely, a lot more like Homegrown and their 'darker' punk rock. An apt analogy would be to compare their work used in a Judd Apatow movie rather than a high school comedy akin to American Pie. "Drift Away" perhaps the standout track on the album, with "Lay With Me" there for older fans as not to alienate them. Definitely a goodnight rather than a goodbye from the boys.

Otep - The Ascension

Otep were one of the bands that during the golden age of nu-metal at the start of the 00's passed through with both relative success and, more importantly, a deal of anonymity - though they had their fans and were very much "Kittie for the thinking man", they escaped the scathing retrospective views because, sadly, people couldn't have cared less. Their latest effort retains those nu-metal sensibilities while the vocals pulling away from relentless screaming, and where the oft compared Jack Off Jill or, for some reason, Arch Enemy, found their transitional period turbulent, Otep manages such a thing near graceful. It helps, also, they pull off a Nirvana cover with justice.

Satyricon - The Age of Nero Satyricon is an interesting little quandary - though superficially resembling all the aesthetics of a black metal act, they've caused quite the controversy after the release of Now, Diabolical was cited as being "radio-friendly" amongst hardened fans of the genre. Funny how Norway's equivalent of a Grammy can do that to you... However, The Age of Nero retains the hallmarks you would commonly expect from a band of their kind; the high pitched death growl, the bleak outlook within Satyr's lyrics. Unlike other black metal acts, there is a groove involved within their sound, rather than blunt force trauma - 'The Wolfpack' melodically could seat well at home with Dirt era Alice In Chains while 'Last Man Standing' could be a Down b-side, all the funnier Phil Anselmo is rumoured to be working with the band. The black metal fan in me is reluctant to give it a high rating because it's not essentially an album of that kind. But the general metal fan in me concedes it's a brilliant piece of work and, as taboo as it could be amongst the community, is actually very accessible and at the end of the day, isn't that more important to a movement?

Emigrate - Emigrate

Touted as being "industrial metal" and including remixes from Mr. Digital Hardcore himself Alec Empire, the side project of Rammstein's Richard Z. Kruspe sounds like a delectable and, dare I say it, heavy affair. Instead, Emigrate treats us to generic, radio-friendly tracks which you would hardly expect given Krupse's CV. In fact, it seems offensive to even believe this would come from such a person – almost as if the creativity from the German group has finally diminished (let's be honest though, Rosensot wasn't exactly their edgiest, was it). Bland, devoid of anything challenging, it would seem that the aesthetics were more important than the music and by far this is little more than a vanity project for Krupse.

The CHASE - Paranoia

When it rains, it pours. 2008 definitely seems to be the year in which New Zealand's hardcore scene emerges out of the woodwork finally to the acclaim it deserves - none more so than The CHASE, who channel the spirit of good post-hardcore that emanated out of the US underground scene circa. 2002-2004. In fact, with songs such as "The Seconds" and "Boomers", you could have easily mistaken them for a band on early Drive-Thru or Victory Records. Short (the album runs little over half an hour) but both melodic and aggressive, The CHASE are like a double happy; though they make not look it, they can induce a large amount of unexpected splendour. How's NZ DIY hardcore scene going to lay siege once more throughout 2008? With bands The Chase leading the charge. Corporate punk rock stops here.

Franz Ferdinand - Tonight Doth my ears deceive me, or have Franz Ferdinand taken a page out of KISS' playbook and decided to craft a disco song or two? Though where the old aged outlaws alienated the KISS Army with their experiment, Franz Ferdinand has not - there's always been that dance party element within their previous releases and Tonight is no exception. It, however, seems like the band have been caught in a zeitgeist of electro-new-wave eighties - songs like 'Turn It On' and 'Send Him Way' almost seem homages to Synth godparents The Human League, Alex Kapranos and company even seem determined to summon the spirit of Saturday Night Fever with 'Live Alone'. Though it might seem like committing commercial suicide, the thing is Franz Ferdinand have always been eccentric, and their idiosyncrasies are their strengths. Tonight is a record you might be ashamed to admit you'd like, but you will like it... embrace your fear.

Cavalera Conspiracy - Inflikted

There's been a wait in the metal community for the mighty return of influential metal act Sepultura. While that prophecy may not come to pass, Cavalera Conspiracy reunites brothers Max and Iggor Cavalera after too long of an absence. What you'd expect is something loud, noisy and aggressive, and truth be told, that's one extent of the album. The other is the groove that made Sepultura so popular, with well crafted if deceptively simple riffs that command the ability for even a casual rock fan to nod their head. Another bullet fired from the metal scene in 2008 – Inflikted is part Nailbomb at times and at others Arise-era Sepultura, but a huge return for the brothers Cavalera.

The Naked and Famous - No Light Was it rushed? That's the sceptical question posed as The Naked And Famous release the follow up to This Machine in what does feel like a very short space of time. Though many who may not have listened to the group cite that they are simply another electro band flooding Auckland's musical landscape, they couldn't be more wrong. Dirty basslines, distorted guitars, the tracks play out more industrial than electro - leadoff single "Birds" almost a nod to With Teeth era Nine Inch Nails and the sultriness of early Garbage. Second record syndrome? Powers and company taunt it... and leads us into eager anticipation for their debut long-player

Soulfly - Conquer

Max Cavalera has had quite a busy 2008 - earlier this year we saw the long-awaited reunion with his brother Igor conjuring a zeitgeist of prime Sepultura days with his side project Cavalera Conspiracy and now the sixth instalment of Soulfly, the group he formed shortly after leaving the thrash/groove metal outfit he made his name with. With that in mind, was it ever going to be an easy feat juggling his main band with a project many of us metal fans have waited years to see? The answer isn't an easy one and leaves many sitting on the fence. 

Conquer rather than becoming a continuation of the heavier hitting sounds the group gave us with their previous release, Dark Ages, with it's throwback to albums reminiscent of Arise, combines those elements with the groove metal which brought them to such acclaim with their sophomore album Primitive. Though it's an eclectic prospect on paper, sadly in practice it comes across a little disjointed and does beg the question if now Igor is in the song-writing midsts that Soulfly becomes now a second thought to the newer Cavalera project.

.

[stompsite]

So I Played FFXV

In most of my articles, I start out by presenting a problem. Maybe a lot of gamers hate zombies, and I want to write about a zombie game I love, so I present the problem of the zombie game, explaining in detail why I’m sympathetic to the concerns of people who hate zombie games, before explaining how the zombie game I love gets around that problem.

I do this because we’re rarely wrong about our feelings, but we’re often wrong about why. If I wrote “here’s a good zombie game,” no one would want to read that if they don’t like zombie games. By writing “this is why zombie games bore you and here’s how zombie games can excite you,” I appeal to a broader audience.

This brings me to Final Fantasy XV, a game one of my backers asked me to cover.

Good games writing often happens when an expert explains the ins and outs of a genre they know well to an audience they assume are quite intelligent but aren’t as familiar with the subject as they are. When I wrote about walking sims last year, I sat down and I went “okay, a lot of you are bored with walking sims. Why is that?” My editor’s boss didn’t seem to like it that much, insisting that the walking sim didn’t need any defending (even though The Chinese Room, developers of walking sims, had just shut down, and Tacoma, a walking sim with magazine covers, had sold a mere 10,000 copies). But I think people have strong feelings about things and they want to understand those feelings, so having an expert help them out without talking down to them is wonderful.

A little bit of history.

I may be an expert on video games, but I am most assuredly not an expert on JRPGs.

Unlike most people, I didn’t grow up with video game consoles. I saw a meme posted the other day saying “you can’t argue with me about games unless your first console was a Genesis or NES.” Mine was an Xbox 360, but I’ve been playing computer games for a great deal longer. Since Japan didn’t make many computer games (oh, sure, Final Fantasy VII was developed for Windows 95, but I don’t recall seeing it amidst the Diablo 2, Planescape Torment, and Half-Life boxes at CompUSA back in the day), JRPGs were never really a part of my gaming diet.

It’s not to say that JRPGs weren’t appealing. When my wisdom teeth were pulled, my mom brought our little 13” portable TV into my room and let me watch movies. I stumbled upon UHF channel 53, which broadcast a pirated version of TechTV, which was, at the time, airing Anime Unleashed, a block of awesome anime shows like Last Exile and Crest of the Stars. Most anime I’d seen up to that point was the stuff we got on kid’s shows, like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon. Digimon aside, most of it was garbage. Watching Boogiepop Phantom or Serial Experiments Lain during late nights on this stupid little black and white TV was something else entirely.

Since then, I’ve loved good anime aesthetics, so you’d think that JRPGs would be my jam. I thought so too, which is why I started talking to friends about them, but every time I did, my friends would talk about what confusing bullshit they were--especially, at the time, Final Fantasy X. “...but Final Fantasy VIII is better!” they’d tell me, and of course I’d ask them about that, and they’d tell me even more confusing bullshit. Plus, the whole turn-based gameplay thing was a huge turnoff. I got into other games, like Age of Empires and Unreal Tournament. They were more interesting. Games like Max Payne had way better stories than Final Fantasy VIII, that’s for sure.

Once, someone got me into Earthbound on an emulator, and I fell in love with it, until someone kidnapped zippy--I think she has a ‘real’ canon name but I don’t know what it is and I don’t want to know--and I couldn’t beat any of the fights because I didn’t understand the concept of grinding. Over the years, I tried other JRPGs, because the premise and the art sounded cool, but I bounced off the gameplay or the presentation time and time again. The closest I got to loving a JRPG was Dragon’s Dogma, and that was more of an open world sandbox game than any kind of RPG.

This brings me to another point.

JRPGs aren’t RPGs.

People usually protest when I make this point. Either I’m wrong or it doesn’t matter, they say, but I think it does matter because I’m a game designer, and understanding the specifics of genre is a really useful skill for a game designer to have. When I look at the JRPG, I see a lot of very specific elements that make them stand apart. If I say “I want to make an RPG,” chances are, I will not make something like a JRPG. If I say “I want to make a JRPG,” I will. The mechanics are distinct and interesting and worth examining on their own; no JRPG in existence could ever stand up to even a half-decent RPG if we judged it by RPG terms. The roleplaying just isn’t there.

Judging JRPGs by their own standards lets us see these wonderful games for what they really are. JRPGs are not RPGs from Japan. They’re not even RPGs. Once, when I made this argument, a guy fought back by arguing that a game wasn’t an RPG unless it had a party (Witcher 3 doesn’t), a bestiary (pretty sure New Vegas hasn’t got one), was turn-based (quick, someone tell Dragon Age!), and had a linear narrative (hahahahahahaha!).

“But you’re playing a role!”

Playing a role means following a script, which is what you do in any game without choice and consequence. Roleplay is a specific kind of improvisational acting that’s about creating and defining your relationship with the world around you. Dragon Age: Origins is a roleplaying game: you can be a dwarf commoner or a human noble or whatever, and your various choices will have major impacts on your relationships. You can define the person that you are. They are tabula rasa.

In every JRPG I’ve ever seen, you are a specific character with a specific personality, and while you may have some choices--Noctis in FFXV can choose to let the crew pull over and take a group photo whenever Prompto asks him too--those choices have little impact on the overall narrative or Noctis’ relationships with the characters around him. Lunafreya will always love him, Gladiolus will always get mad at him when Ignis loses his vision, etc.

Different kinds of games.

Pillars of Eternity, which isn’t a great game, but one I enjoyed well enough, let me set my character’s stats prior to playing the game. I defined my character as a rogue with great mechanical skills and dexterity. In Final Fantasy XV, when you level up… you can’t really control how your character’s stats changed.

None of this is bad! It’s just different, like the difference between a third person shooter and a first person shooter. First person shooting lets you focus on the environment and your interactions with it, but third person shooters tend to focus on your character. They have their own unique strengths. You can’t judge a first person shooter by third person standards and vice versa. The same is true with JRPGs and RPGs. They are different games. And that’s good.

The Game:

When it comes to Final Fantasy XV, this is the foundation I have. I’m vaguely turned off by all the stories I’ve heard, I love the aesthetics of most of them, and the gameplay is something I feel is wholly distinct from other games.

Final Fantasy XV appealed to me because it had real-time action combat instead of being a heavily menu-focused turn-based affair.

So, here’s the deal: you’re Prompto, a prince, who is on his way to meet the object--and really, she is treated like an object in this game--of his arranged marriage, Lunafreya, who’s the princess of a rival kingdom, I guess? Except the wiki says she’s a captive of Niflheim, but she seems to get along well with her brother, who is in charge of the armies of Niflheim, so… like… yeah, I don’t really know what’s going on there.

The wiki also says she’s the “main heroine” of the game, even though she barely has any screen time at all. She has magical powers that cures people of some weird plague that’s making nights last longer, except that the nights are still getting longer and more people are succumbing to the plague, so she’s really bad at her job.

Honestly, she’s just there to look pretty and say things like “Noct, please hurry.” Then she dies. Then one time her ghost shows up and uses force powers to save the crew by removing plot armor that was only put there so she could show up to remove it.

She is not emotionally important to you.

This isn’t like Alan Wake, a game that reveals over time the complex nature of Alan’s relationship and just how wonderful of a person Alice Wake is. In that game, Alan was motivated by guilt, and you, as a player, could connect to him because you got to see all of this unfold. You wanted to help Alan find Alice not because “Alice is Alan’s wife,” but because you saw that these two wonderful, flawed people loved and cared for each other and deserved happiness.

Lunafreya is a pantomime of a love interest, but there’s never any real love there, so there’s no urgency to actually chase her down, no sense of loss when she dies. It’s not all her fault though (I mean, duh, it’s Square’s fault). Noct is equally culpable. He’s just… kinda empty. He’s a shell who occasionally feels things when the script calls for it (ur dad died, be sad, ur gf died, be sad), but who doesn’t feel like a real person. I don’t really care about anything Noct wants. I just kind of do the objectives because they’re what’s next.

I spent my whole life being told that JRPG stories were the best that video games had to offer, and… look, being completely honest here, Final Fantasy XV is the JRPG plot as described to me--incomprehensible, pointless, and horribly paced, doing grandiose things because the developers want to do grandiose things, never earning a second of the awe it expects you to have.

“Yup,” I found myself thinking when I finished it, “this is exactly like every JRPG that has ever been described to me except Earthbound.”

Earthbound is great.

Final Fantasy XV makes the mistake of assuming that because it looks epic, it is epic, but since it earns nothing, it isn’t epic at all. It’s a hodgepodge of ideas. Maybe other JRPGs do a better job, but based on every other JRPG I’ve played, like Xenoblade Chronicles and Suikoden, it’s just not a very compelling game.

So it may surprise you to know that I liked it a great deal.

Brotherhood.

In my film education, we talked a great deal about the idea of the “male as default.” A lot of this is rooted in idiotic Freudian psychology (especially all the Lacan stuff), so it’s as bunk as astrology, even when it sounds good, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater here: all media has a perspective, and most media’s perspective assumes the male perspective as the neutral one.

American film does this too: it assumes everything is seen through American eyes. Most Hollywood movies are very, very American-as-default things, but that doesn’t mean they’re American movies. I’m not just talking geography, I’m talking assumptions about customs, camera angles, lighting, and so on. Russian film (European films too, but especially Russian film) tends to focus on specific body parts, using juxtaposition in editing to create specific senses about things. American films tend to favor wider shots, creating those same moods through things like motion and staging.

A film from another country can feel like it came from a different mind than the Hollywood monolith…

...and yet…

...there are very few genuinely American films out there. This is partly because most American films are built for export to other countries, so rather than focusing on specifically American subject matter, they focus on more universal things like drama and romance. Since America is so good at exporting American film, and many other cultures imitate the stylings of American films (because learning from successful things is how you succeed, after all), we end up with a very dominant American culture that has very little to actually say about America. In fact, lots of what America is tends to get lost in the shuffle.

If you’re lucky, you get filmmakers like Terrence Malick, who make films that are really about America and being American, but the significance of this is lost because people look at it and go “why do you make American films? All films are American!” But there is something specific there. Something interesting.

Maleness is the same way. It’s the assumed default in a lot of narratives, but because of this, very little attention is given to it. I once walked into the USAF museum while the XB-70 Valkyrie was in one of the hangars and didn’t see it because it was so big I thought it was the ceiling. Maleness in fiction is like that; it’s rarely examined closely because it’s too busy being big.

Here are two men. They are friends. The end.

We rarely look at how men bond, how they perceive each other, how they fight, how they talk and think because we’re too busy writing stories about the basic, empty characters who travel from point A to point B and the adventures they have along the way.

Oh, sure, sometimes you have people interrogating maleness, but they’re really only doing it to say “look what’s bad about being a man,” because they assume that male-as-default means we already see male-as-good, when really, male-as-default is male-as-nonspecifity. The beauty of maleness is rarely ever explored.

Somehow, despite all its narrative shortcomings, Final Fantasy XV excels at its understanding of maleness.

I think a big part of this is the road trip nature of the game. Sure, they’re ostensibly on the run and simultaneously on their way to a wedding, but that doesn’t prevent The Boys from having a good time. Each boy has a specific personality that is brought out in interesting ways; Ignis cares a stickler for safety and rules, Prompto is energetic and mischievous, Gladiolus is strong and confident and protective of those who are not. Noctis is basically an empty shell, but when he’s interacting with The Boys, there are still good moments to be found.

As you drive through the world, fighting monsters and helping friends, you learn more about these boys and the things they care about. Gladiolus is self-conscious about seeming too caring, but he cares so deeply, especially about his little sister Iris. He recognizes her crush on Noctis and even tricks Noctis into giving her flowers, knowing it would make Iris’ day. Prompto’s lower-class upbringing means he’s tremendously insecure about his relationship with the other boys. They’re not aware of how awkward he feels in the presence of people much wealthier and more important than he is, and when he makes it known, they do everything they can to assure him that he’s their brother and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

There’s something else that I’ve never been able to put into words. It’s a feeling I have occasionally, and one I cherish. When interacting with most men, there’s a degree of camaraderie, like, hey, we’re all on the same team, we’re cheering alongside each other, that kind of thing. There’s a whole second language that men are only capable of employing with other men that’s completely nonverbal, but not all men are comfortable using it with each other right away.

There comes a point in a male relationship where everything just sort of clicks. That guy over there is just a man you know, but that guy over there, you and him are mates and you’d fuckin die for each other if you had to. When you do things together, there’s a sense of rightness and appropriateness to it all. If your best friend asks you to help him carry some groceries in from the car, it’s different than if you help your next door neighbor who you don’t really know all that well.

I’m sure other, better writers have written about this sense of brotherhood. When I’m playing Destiny with a matchmade team and we roll an enemy squad into a mercy rule defeat, it feels good. When my friends and I trigger the mercy rule against the same thing, it’s like, heck yeah, these are the men who mean the most to me in this fuckin world and I am so lucky to have them with me.

Final Fantasy XV does its darndest to put this in the mechanics. The boys res each other during battle. They all have unique combo moves that play off each other. The battle barks are all designed to make you feel like… hell yeah, these are my bros, we kick ass together.

How many games just have two dudes talkin about dude things together? How many games are like “yeah, bro, let’s go running in the sand and whoever outruns the other is the winner!” How many games get that great banter is affectionate? How many games are willing to have a bunch of dudes who love each other and will die for each other whose relationships deteriorate over time but they come back from them stronger than ever?

There are a lot of stories about men in games, but very few stories about being a man.

Final Fantasy XV might be the best of ‘em.

And it’s still… dumb and flawed at times. I think I would’ve liked a more interesting protagonist and central conflict. I think the game is at its best when you’re cruising around a big, open world, humming about chocobos. I think Square had the opportunity to make a huge, incredible game about an adventure and they wasted it on a game that gets progressively linear (in a bad way) over time. I mentally checked out by the end of the game. I didn’t care that some random giant dude showed up, I beat the shit out of him, and then I had to fight a couple more dudes just like him, and then after beating them into submission too… we, uh, killed the guy who was stalking us the whole game? Why would I connect with random giant ghost kings when I spent the entire game playing alongside my brothers? Instead they get knocked out and fall asleep on the floor and I have the ending I was always destined to have.

Man, fuck destiny.

The game is great when it’s being personal, but it sucks when it’s trying to do all this other stuff. There are no affectionate moments between Noctis and Lunafreya. Mister Badguy, whose name I forgot and don’t feel like looking up because fuck that guy, he was boring, has to exposit his backstory (i was gonna be king but then i didn’t get to be king so i decided to have my revenge in like 2000 years’ time! mwahahaha!!! here is my entire personal history!) instead of just being interesting on a dramatic level.

It’s bad when it’s trying to be a grandiose RPG. It’s great when it’s doing something I can’t think of any other game doing before. I think you should play the first 8 or 9 chapters of the game. I think everyone should. That’s where the fun lies.

What about the gameplay?

The gameplay is kind of neat. Some stuff doesn’t feel nearly as good as other modern open-world games (like, uh, driving, which is kinda terrible and inconsistent about when it lets you drive, and interrupts your drive in really annoying ways at night, but the attention given to things like “needing to fill up with gas” is really cool).

Other stuff is clearly channeling How JRPGs Work, which is cool. The way the game gives you XP or deals with magic and abilities feels Very Classically JRPG. But it’s all wrapped up in a real-time action game that’s nowhere near as satisfying as Dragon’s Dogma or Ninja Gaiden or something. I’m not saying it has to be, but holding down a button and watching your character autoattack isn’t very fun. Zipping around with your teleport power is totally awesome though.

Magic is super strong and I probably should’ve used it more, but I was never really in love with crafting it. The leveling grid is kinda cool, but I have no idea how, when I did nearly every quest in the game, someone is supposed to unlock some of those skills. It just doesn’t seem possible considering the game’s content.

Quest design isn’t great; most of it’s just random fetch quests. The open world itself is nice most of the time, especially when you have a chocobo, but because the game’s so invested in making you feel like you’re on a road trip, you end up doing a lot of driving which a more generous fast travel system would have avoided, which means you end up seeing a lot of the same places over and over again, which kinda kills the whole road trip vibe.

And So it Ends.

There’s DLC. I never did that. I kinda soured on the whole epic journey by the end because of how boring the solo stuff was, and the DLC appears to be all solo stuff. Sorry, but the overall narrative and the gameplay just isn’t there. That’s not what makes FFXV good. The camaraderie is. The vibes are. Listening to the sizzle of ignis’ cooking or watching a huge monster fly in from above. There are so many incredible moments in this game. It’s too bad the narrative and the combat couldn’t keep up.

I think FFXV benefits and suffers from being a big 3D real-time game. A lot of classic JRPGs are 2D affairs where you have to communicate everything purely through text boxes. FFXV has the benefit of voice and physical performance, adding a huge layer of nuance and personality to its characters, their wants, and needs. But because it’s a big, bombastic 3D game, it can’t help itself, and wastes time with boring, endless set pieces that look cool but do little else.

Could I recommend it? I dunno.

But it kinda makes me want to try other JRPGs, even though there’s really nothing else like it out there.

[knb5byarabella2019]

Walt Disney

Prepare for an information dump. (recommended to have a beverage on standby because if your determined to read this you are going to need it)

Walter Elias Disney is the most famous person in association with animation, so much so that his name has practically become synonymous with animation. Not only did he elevate animation into a viable industry but he is also why animation has become synonymous with childhood and youth. This in turn has caused a lot of misconceptions about Disney and animation so prepare for some Myth-Busting. For starters he wasn’t even good at drawing.

Walt Disney did NOT invent: animation itself OR the animated cartoon (Charlie Bowers, Winsor McCay and Max Fleisher were doing those before Disney) OR cinematic anthropomorphism (that means things or animals given human qualities, Ladislaw Stareowicz did that before Disney too) OR the first ‘talkie’ (sound synchronized with animation, Max Fleisher again) OR the first animated feature (Lotte Reiniger has the earliest copy) OR Mikey Mouse’s name or design (it was designed by another animator and his wife suggested Mickey instead of Mortimer)

I hope I didn’t just destroy you’re childhood so now I will talk about what he DID do. Walter Elias Disney’s ancestors were from Ireland and when they moved to Canada and then to Chicago, Walt was born on the 5th of December 1901. They didn’t stay there long because when he was 5 they moved to Marceline (I sure hope I’m spelling these names correctly) in Missouri, which is just outside of Kansas City (which actually isn’t in Kansas) but they soon moved into Kansas City itself. Walt loved to wave to the train-drivers as they went past. At school he met another boy with the same name of German decent and they started to reenact plays they saw from vanderville to their classmate. Between them they could reproduce 4 plays and this is what introduced Disney to the theater.

They later moved back to Chicago and despite being unhappy about it Disney was encouraged to take art classes and in high-school he drew patriotic cartoons for the school newspaper. When he was 16 he went to join the army but was a few days late to get recruited, so after telling his mother she forged his birth certificate to make him look older than he was. When he went back they decided to send him to France with the Medical Corp. , specifically the Red Cross. He spent a year there before being discharged, a year of driving ambulances and drawing on them. Yes he got away with drawing on ambulances.

He returned to Kansas City and stayed with his older brother, Roy, who worked at a bank. After weeks of Roy asking clients if they had a job for his brother, Walt finally got a job at a company that made cartoon advertisements. There he met and became good friends with Dutch man called Ubbe Iwerks (later called Ub) who was an amazing animator and illustrator. Where Walt talked a lot with barely any work to show for it, Ub could do 700 illustrations a day but was very quiet.

However Disney eventually got fired because he wasn’t that good an illustrator, so in 1920, at age 19, he and Ub created a company called ‘Iwerks-Disney Commercial Artists’, but this didn’t really work because they were considered too young and inexperienced by the other companies. This company was soon taken over by George Winkler & Charles Mintz who financed their company for a while, long enough to create Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, before pulling the plug and keeping the character rights.

Disney then decided to go to Hollywood and start a studio there, but that didn’t work so his uncle Robert gave him his garage so he could continue to work in there. Walt and Ub collaborated and continued to work on some new characters and after four years of hard work he was lucky enough to receive a contract worth $250′000. He had gone back to Winkler and Mintz for money but they both said no, however on his way out he ran into a friend, Mintz’s sister who was also Winkler’s wife, she saw his characters and wrote the check for him. How lucky is that?

When he sent a message to his brother Roy, who had moved to Los Angeles, he found out his brother was in the veterans hospital with tuberculosis in the isolation ward. I am amazed at what his brother did when he found out that Walt got the money. He escaped from the hospital. Escaped, from a veterans hospital. Now that is what I call a dedicated banker. His brother gave Walt financial and business advice, and they formed the Disney Brothers Studios. After telling his friends who worked in the advertisement company in Kansas City, they came to work for him and they created the ‘Alice Comedy’ series. In 1925 he married Lillian Bounds, an inker who worked for him (at the time women weren’t allowed to animate but instead became inkers, they put the coloured ink on the drawings)

in 1928 he went to New York to ask Winkler & Mintz for more money to expand the studio. big mistake because they essentially fired Disney and stole his work because it was with their money. The company, the characters, the workers, the rights. The characters were not recovered until 2006, and I find it ironic that now Disney now seems to own many other companies and rights like Pixar, Star Wars, and Marvel.

When he created a rodent character that was to become the central character and iconic figure, Walt told his wife Lillian. Mortimer Mouse. I can only imagine she gave him a look that said ‘seriously?’. What I do know is that she proceeded to explain the french word for ‘death’ was ‘Mort’ and that it had too many syllables to say quickly. She was the one who suggested that he be called ‘Mickey Mouse’ and another animator designed the beloved character.

He started the company now known as Disney and it grew into the globally recognized company it is today. He passed away soon after his 65th birthday (from cancer, he was a chain-smoker, it was cool in that era). Disney was a master storyteller and producer, which is why he was such a giant in the animation and film-making world.

(If you read the whole way through this essay-like rambling, thank you for bearing with me. Treat yourself to a biscuit or cookie, you deserve it.)

[zonerobotnik]

Hello, Henry (HN/BATIM crossover) 1/6

After beating Bendy at his twisted game of cat and mouse, it’s time for Henry to move on. But he’s not going alone.

Prologue: Fresh Start Henry stared silently at the powered-down ink machine in front of him. The ink on the floor was still, and there was no sign of his creations anywhere. He let his axe drop to the floor in relief and walked over to sit in the chair beside it. “Well, Henry...what now?” He asked himself, staring at the ink-splattered ceiling. “Do you just...leave them like this? Forever? They never asked to be monsters...I never wanted this for them...” He looked at the machine and then stood up. “...Where are those blueprints? Sammy's office, right?” He asked the air as he headed back down to the basement. It was eerily silent in Joey Drew Studios now. Henry returned to Sammy's office and took a look around the place before swiping the blueprints for the Ink Machine off his old music director's desk. 'Rest in peace, old friend.' He thought as he headed back upstairs. He could leave this place and not come back. The way to the exit was clear, the trapdoor shut tight. But...he couldn't just leave it like this. What if some other twisted lunatic got ahold of this machine and tortured his poor creations again? Bendy, Alice and Boris would never recover from that kind of treatment again. He had to show them that they could be alive...and not be treated like monsters. Sure, he and Bendy had a lot of smoothing over to do, but he would manage that. First, he needed....a box. He needed a box. He looked at the ink machine and the blueprints and realized this would take a few trips...and a lot of boxes. He'd have to take this thing apart piece by piece and then take it somewhere...somewhere no one would ever find it. Find them. He had no family, his friends were all dead, what did he have to lose by disappearing? – The machine was in pieces and in boxes neatly stacked in his van. He briefly considered the sanity in letting a few hippies paint it a few years back but he had no time for repainting. Besides, who would care about a hippy van full of boxes? He was going on a long trip – and not the kind of trip those hippies took him on. That was one hell of a trip. He took the van home and parked it before going in and packing everything he owned up into more boxes. He didn't have much, he kept a minimalist lifestyle after being in the army for a little while, and then he had to call his landlord. He was leaving town, forever. Good riddance to this wild town. He and his creations needed somewhere quiet. “Henry, are you sure?” His landlord had asked. His bank had asked the same thing when he closed his accounts with them. He didn't know where he would go, but it couldn't be populated enough to have a bank. He'd have to start keeping his money in a safe at home. “Henry, are you sure?” A cashier asked him as he bought food for the road. “Yes, I'm sure.” He had responded to each person that asked. He taped Joey's last letter to him on the dashboard as a reminder of why he was doing this and drove away, far away. He drove on and on until he finally had to stop and find a place to sleep and then continued on the next day, and the next, and the next, stopping only for gas, food, and lodging. – “You want to find somewhere where you can be alone?” The hotel clerk asked while they were making small talk on his way out. “Are you sure? I mean, people need company.” “I have my reasons.” Henry replied. “Nothing illegal, I promise. I just....want to be left alone. I've spent too many years around people.” “Well, alright. I've heard of a ghost town next too far from this city.” The hotel clerk said, pulling out a map. “No one lives there, you'll have to come here for any shopping or work.” He circled the spot on the map. “That's perfect.” Henry took the map. “Thank you.” “See you around, I guess. If you want to buy a house out there, you'll have to find a realtor here. There's signs out in front of the houses, but, as I said, no one lives there. No one wants to live there. It used to be a factory town, but one day everyone just...vanished.” The hotel clerk said in a spooky tone. “I'll take my chances.” Henry nodded and headed for his van again. – He found a nice one-bed-one-bath house with a basement and attic surrounded by a decent-sized yard and white, picket fence. Actually, a lot of the places in this town were like that. Just one those towns, he supposed. A phone call, visit, and handling of cash later and he was moving all of his boxes in. Some of them he left in the main house. But the ones labeled “INK”, he took down into the basement. After the boxes were out, he left them to sit for a bit and went to trade in his car for something that didn't stand out as much. A nice, sensible, red 1955 Chevrolet. He parked the car in front of his new house and grabbed an industrial-sized toolkit he'd also purchased before heading down and getting to work. It took almost two days of hard work, but he had the ink machine set back up again. Then he had to set up pipes all over the basement. This would be their area, their safe place. No one would ever harm his poor creations again. Once that was done, he turned it on and stood back. He glanced at the axe, considering if he could grab it, but chose to just stay near it. The ink came out fast, flooding the floor all the way to the stairs coming down from the basement door. It was a mess, but by now he wasn't fazed by it. He kept his eyes on the machine, waiting...waiting... “You must be insane, turning the machine back on.” He heard Bendy hiss behind him. He turned around and saw his tormented toon looking around at their new surroundings in confusion. “Where ARE we, Henry?”

“You deserve the chance to live, Bendy. A chance to see the outside.” Henry replied. “I've taken you all to a town empty of people. No one will see you, and at night you can go outside and see the moon and stairs.” “Or I could just kill you.” Bendy said aggressively. “You haven't yet. I'm trying to do good by you, Bendy.” Henry said, stepping back at bit. “Just give me this chance. I know I wasn't there before, but I'm here now. And I will never let anyone hurt you again. I promise.” Bendy looked at the axe pointedly. “You brought your axe.” “Well, like you said, you could just kill me.” Henry said matter-of-factly. “Come on, Bendy. Let's give this a chance. You, me, Alice and Boris.” “It sounds good to me.” Boris said helpfully. “Let's just try this, Bendy. Just for a little while?” Alice coaxed. Bendy was silent and then he looked at Henry. “...You said I could see the moon?” Henry looked at his watch. “Two hours. In two hours, I will take you.” He promised. “...Okay.” Bendy nodded. “How big is this place?” “Pretty big, I made sure you had lots of room to roam.” Henry gestured to the area past the machine. “Go explore. I'm going up to have a wash and eat. Do you want anything?” Bendy tilted his head at him. “...I could try eating.” “You mean Joey never fed you?” Henry stared at him in horror. “I...didn't need to. But I could try it.” Bendy shrugged. “Bendy, come on! Oh, look, our posters! And there's new pictures! And is this a desk?” Alice and Boris said, already exploring. “I'll bring you all some sandwiches.” Henry said, heading for the basement door. “Don't forget about us again.” Bendy said, looking at him. “Don't leave us alone again.” “I won't. You're in my basement.” Henry chuckled a bit. “How can I forget about you here?” “Don't forget us...” Bendy splashed off to join the other two. Henry sighed and headed out of the basement. This was the start of a new life, for all them.

[anthonypaulh]

AN OFFICER and a GENTLEMAN

As we approach 101 years since the ending of World War 1 on November 11th, all of us who owe our freedoms to those who did not return from the conflict, have the opportunity to reflect on just how lucky we are. How very fortunate are we who live our comfortable lives in these times, with the freedom of choices we often take for granted.  There’s no wifi pales into insignificance when you reflect on what happened on Flanders fields for example, or Gallipoli, or Megiddo, or in numerous other battles of the so called Great War, the war that was meant to end all wars !

The term “hero” is thrown around far too readily in our modern era. Football players are heroes, pop singers mime a tune and are heroes, basket ballers shoot hoops and are heroes, car racers drive fast and are heroes , bakers bake & chefs cook so are heroes, and so it goes. So many myths sown in seed on one social media outlet, blown and scattered to all corners on another. Ah the internet age and all that jazz ! 24/7 media, so many channels, so much padding .

Heroes just for one day as was once famously sung by a lad from Brixton. Fame, what’s your name ? Here today and gone tomorrow, famous for 15 minutes. But real heroes are people who don’t seek attention, they do what they do, without thinking of the consequences. Real heroes go about doing deeds and seeking no attention or praise for their actions. For me there is no greater example of exactly that, than Walter Daniel John Tull.

That his story is not as widely known as it should be is nothing short of a disgrace. Furthermore the fact that he has never yet been awarded the Military Cross that he was nominated for after his brave actions in World War 1, for me, amounts to a National scandal. In the following article, I will try to do justice to his remarkable story.

Walter Daniel John Tull was born on April 28th 1888 in Folkestone , Kent, the garden of England. His father Daniel was the son of a slave from Barbados and he came to England as a ship’s carpenter and settled in Folkestone in 1876. He worked in Kent, making furniture, doors and windows and met Walter’s mother Alice Elizabeth Palmer in the local Methodist church. They married and had six children, although one died as a baby.

The family thrived and Walter and his older brother Edward attended the local primary school North Board School in Folkestone. But everything changed when their mother Elizabeth died from cancer in 1895 when Walter was just 7 years old. His father re-married a year later, and although one more child was born to him and his second wife Clara, Daniel Tull also died from heart disease in 1897. So Walter’s step mother Clara was suddenly left alone to care for Walter and his five siblings. The  reality was that they would be probably have been taken into the care of the Workhouse because Clara could not provide adequately for all of her family.

The local Methodist church stepped into help and they decided that it would be best for Walter and his brother Edward to be brought up in the Methodist Children’s Home and Orphanage, in Bethnal Green, East London. So in 1897 Walter aged just 9 and his brother Edward were uprooted from their rural Kentish home and taken to the bustling East end of London.The transformation in their surroundings could not have been more pronounced. 

Nevertheless, the Tull boys did well. Both showed an eagerness to learn and a determination to succeed. Walter found himself at home on the sports field and excelled at football and cricket. For him it would be his escape route and the beginning of an extraordinary career. His brother Edward was moved to Scotland in 1900 to live with the Warnock family who adopted him. Edward later became the first mixed race person to qualify as a dentist in the UK. It was just one of the many firsts that he and Walter would claim. These two lads were strong characters and they were determined to succeed.

Young Walter became an apprentice in the print trade but his real passion was for football and he joined Clapton FC in East London in October 1908. They were an amateur team and Walter won the Amateur Cup, the London Senior Cup and the London County Amateur Cup with them. It was just a start and bigger things awaited him.

In the Summer of 1909 he signed for Tottenham Hotspur Football Club (Spurs) for a fee of £10. Although Tottenham are the team that I have supported since I was old enough to kick a football myself I am ashamed to say that even though I have a good knowledge of the history of the club, I did not come across the extraordinary exploits of Walter Tull until 2008. It was only when the BBC showed a documentary film entitled “Walter’s War” as part of the 90 years of remembrance, that I picked up on his heroics.

In joining Spurs in 1909, Walter became only the 3rd mixed race player to play in the top division of football in England. He was just 21 but his life had already taken him on an incredible journey. There was plenty more to come. He started his first match for Spurs at Sunderland in September 1909 and made his first appearance at his new home stadium in White Hart Lane against Manchester United later that month. He played as an inside forward, which to those without football/soccer knowledge means that his job was to create goals and score a few too.

Everything appeared to be going well for Walter at Tottenham. He was earning about £4 per week, which was a very high wage for that time, though not quite the £300,000.00 or more some are paid now. Walter made ten appearances for Tottenham scoring 2 goals but he was subsequently dropped into their reserve team. This may have had more to do with the terrible racial abuse he suffered than his actual playing potential. In a match for Tottenham at the home of Bristol City in October 1909, he was subjected to a barrage of racial chanting , abuse and invective. This was to be a major turning point for Walter and his career at Tottenham.

Now to put things into perspective it is important to recognise that Walter was playing at a time when Britain still led an Empire which accounted for 412 million people across the Globe, this was 23 per cent of the entire population of the World in 1913. The bulk of British opinion truly believed that they existed to “civilise” the rest of the World. It meant that other races were seen as inferior and non- British, certainly non- Europeans were, in the main, treated accordingly. As a reflection of this thinking, Walter was nicknamed at Tottenham as “Darkie Tull “. Staggeringly, racism in Britain was not made illegal as an offence at all until 1965, one year after the American Civil Rights Act.

The abuse that Walter encountered on that October day in Bristol was probably the reason that his future appearances for Tottenham were limited. There is a good possibility that Tottenham did not want to be associated with the racial abuse and the publicity that it caused back in those less tolerant Edwardian days. The Bristol incident was widely reported by the newspapers and it was probably the first time that racial abuse at a football match made headline news. He played a total of 20 matches for Tottenham, scoring 4 goals but he was transferred by them on October 17th 1911 to Northampton Town.

Having transferred to Northampton, Walter did well and found himself more settled. He made 111 appearances for the Cobblers, scoring 9 goals but with the outbreak of World War 1 in August 1914 his career was thrown into turmoil again. He volunteered for military service on December 21st 1914 in London and was the first Northampton Town player to do so.

The fact that Walter was accepted into the army was in itself against the norm. The British army frequently refused to accept non- white volunteers at the time, usually on the grounds of minor fitness issues. As Walter was a relatively high profile football player who clearly had no physical or fitness problems, they could not refuse him. He joined the Football Battalion of the Duke of Cambridge’s own Middlesex Regiment and served in the 17th, 23rd and 5th Battalions during the course of the war.

The horrors of the Western Front awaited Walter and he rose to the rank of Lance Sergeant having fought at the Battle of the Somme in 1916. He was briefly transferred back to the UK for a period of recuperation as he was suffering from “shell shock”. (now known as post traumatic stress). But he soon returned to the front line and he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant on May 30th 1917. Walter thus became the first mixed - race infantry Officer in British regular army. This ran completely against the 1914 British Manual of Military Law which excluded soldiers that were not "natural born or naturalised British subjects of pure European descent" from becoming commissioned officers .

Second Lieutenant Walter Tull was then transferred with the 23rd Battalion to the Italian front where he fought between November 30th and early March 1918. During this time he was praised for his gallant and cool actions when he led 26 men on a night time raiding mission across the River Piave into enemy territory. Walter led his men with courage and skill, returning them all safely from the raid. His actions led to him being recommended for the award of the Military Cross. Sadly he has never received that award which he so richly deserves. Apparently, the Ministry of Defence have no record of the recommendation, even though two Officers put his name forward for the award.

Following on from his actions on the Italian front, Walter returned to Northern France in March 1918 to face the German Spring offensive. This was to be their final attempt to break through allied resistance and save themselves from defeat. On March 25th 1918, Walter Tull was shot and fatally wounded whilst in combat near Arras in Northern France. His body was never recovered and his life is now commemorated at the Arras Memorial. His name is engraved on a monument which is dedicated to the 34,785 soldiers with no known graves who died in the area between Spring 1916 and August 7th 1918.

The life of Walter Tull ended in Northern France in March 1918. Aged just 29, Walter never married or had children but his incredible story has served to inspire so many people who survived him. His remarkable courage, fortitude, determination, talent and skill should be even more widely celebrated than they already have been. Unquestionably a posthumous award of the Military Cross that he so richly deserved should now be made. Whatever rules need to be amended to make this happen should be processed with urgency.

I conclude the story of this remarkable man by taking things right back to where I started it. What is being a hero really all about ? Heroes lead they don’t follow, heroes inspire people now and forever, heroes do things unselfishly, heroes do not seek praise or approval, heroes come in all shapes, sizes, colours, religions and creeds, heroes do the right things even when they might be in a minority or unpopular, heroes don’t live forever but their legacy does.

Walter Daniel John Tull is the ultimate hero on all those counts. His memory would be well served by somebody now, over 100 years on, doing the right thing. Undoubtedly, that right thing is to award Second Lieutenant Walter Tull the Military Cross that he is so deserving of for the remarkable actions that he undertook during World War 1. Those actions are not even half of his story. The bigger part of that story is the  legacy that he leaves us and the freedoms we now enjoy because of heroes like Walter Tull.

As a supporter and life long fan of Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, I would also hope that as we move into our new stadium next year the club place some form of memorial to Walter Tull on that site. In so many ways, Walter is absolutely “one of our own”. May he rest in peace .

More Sources of Information on Walter Tull….

 Books

1. Walter Tull - 1888 to 1918 Footballer and Officer by Phil Vasili (London League Publications Ltd 2. Walter Tull - Footballer, Soldier, Hero by Dan Lyndon (Collins Big Cat series of Children’s Books) 3. Walter Tull’s Scrapbook by Michaela Morgan (Frances Lincoln Children’s Books) 4. Respect - The Walter Tull Story by Michaela Morgan (Barrington Stoke Ltd) 5. A Medal for Leroy by Michael Morpurgo based on the story of Walter Tull (Harper Collins Children’s Books) 6. Against All Odds - Walter Tull The Black Lieutenant by Stephen Wynn (Penn and Sword Military)

  On Screen

1. Walter’s War - BBC4 drama based on the life of Walter Tull screened on November 9th 2008 2. Forgotten Hero - Documentary narrated by actor Nick Bailey with Walter Tull biographer Phil Vasilis 3. News Item BBC ….https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43504448