#alfred is a tired but happy father of two much intelignt kids

[roxineedstosleep]

Okay bestie I don't want to clog someone's dashboard so I'll do it here- BUT AHHHHHH YES!! HARLEY AND BRUCE AT GALAS!! Im dying at Harley in her Marilyn inspired outfit and Bruce for SURE matches it with a style class turtleneck and jeans

But they SO act like siblings would; Harley keeps stealing Bruce's food right from his hand, knowing all he can do is smile tightly and grit, " Don't fucking touch me" through his pearly teeth

Bruce absolutely flirts with any women Harley tries hooking up with and she makes SURE to call him a whore in a passing whisper, which Bruce meets with a " Skank" equally quiet so gothamites don't hear

When they fight it's always a " I don't know you and you don't know me'' scenario, but Bruce always gives Harley rides home. They DEFINETLY fight in the batmobile all the time because Harley plays the " I'm not touching you!" Game

Harley Def brings out a playful and immature side to Bruce that Alfred certainly missed; THEM WITH THE BATKIDS TOO!! I have a feeling Harley would be the fun wine aunt. She and Jason for sure have murder conspiracies and she " HEY DOLLSSS" all of them

I have only one sibling, but several cousins (we are 7 grandchildren on my mother's side alone, and even more if you count extended family as distant cousins on my grandmother's side) so you can imagine what big family reunions are like.

And therefore… Boring children at very elegant events.

(graphic reresentation of Young Bruce and Harley, sahrin IceCream after they stole it from the Gala's kitchen)

Bruce and Harley, in short, would be whining because the suit they put on is itchy all over. Bruce, 13, trying not to rip off the turtleneck Alfred had to put on him; while Harley, endlessly scratching his hair, because the gel they put in for his curls is too thick and makes him feel weird.

Not to mention all the mischief they would get into, but they would come out perfectly victorious. I mean, who can justify a sweet little girl like Harley Sweetie, along with her equally sweet Brucie Dopsie? They're just too adorable and innocent to think that the chocolate fountain would overflow with too many strawberries.

(Bullshit, Alfred knew they did it on purpose, but he didn't punish them just because he was getting bored too).

At the gala they team up, so that they don't have to put up with the adults and old bores. But after that, it was every man for himself.

Did Harley get any ice cream? Too bad she won't tell Bruce, just because he didn't tell her where to get the limited edition Sailor Moon candy.

Bruce beat up a spoiled brat? Sure, no doubt about it. He did it because it occurred to him to judge Harley for being poor. Just don't tell Harley, he won't let him live with that for a few months.

Both kids, they'd play songs or do identical, simultaneous mimes, only to have adults give them candy and the occasional waiter tell them the secret stash of mini burgers and pizzas.

If it weren't for the fact that Harley is blonde and has just appeared in Gotham society, many would assume that she is Bruce's twin.

Harley would convince the DJ or the Fiddlers to play a more modern song, and then ask Bruce to dance. Both kids bouncing around the gala venue, not really dancing, just jumping, running and twirling to the beat. Since the child Bruce didn't know how to dance yet.

Bruce would get Harley to always have new music records and would annoy her when he sees her getting too comfortable with other kids. Just because he likes to watch her make faces.

But when they leave the gala, all that My Little Pny friendship comes to an end.

Once they're back at the mansion, with the uncomfortable outfits lying around and wearing comfy pyjamas; both kids are back to being themselves.

So Bruce would push Harley out of bed while they sleep, and Harley would steal his sheets.

He'd eat the last of Alfred's biscuit in the girl's face, and she'd finish the whole pot of ice cream without thinking about it.

They'd chase each other with bugs or pester each other for help with their homework.

Alfred is happy with that.