#alexandra!

[wherela]

yes hi hello I'm gonna meet @tzarina-alexandra on Sunday and I am perhaps excited about this!!

[flickeringflame216]

☆✨ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it's time to spread positivity! ✨

aw hi alex I love youuu <3

[celebrity-erotictriggers]

Alexandra Daddario

[mostlyalexandradaddario]

[sexycelebritiesposts]

Alexandra Daddario

[ariaste]

So listen i have this book coming out in uhhh 10 days and I am Worried about it, because it is a Comedy, and comedy is really hard to market (why????? it's funny pirates, what's not to like??) even when it is, yanno, normal mainstream comedy.

It is even worse when it is Unhinged Comedy That's Mostly Going To Be Funny To People On Tumblr. (For example, the main character being a supreme gremlin made of 90% memes by weight (examples: carries around a bag that is never called anything but his "little rucksack"; has a near-verbatim "stick me legy out real far" moment; talks about his metaphorical "orphan gruel bowl" which is a direct reference to that one Oliver Twist gif) because those are funny to me personally.) Unhinged Tumblr Comedy is difficult because tumblr is not a platform where it is easy to market things to people, because we are generally violently anti-capitalist and LOATHE advertisements and reflexively resist being marketed to for most anything. I LOVE that about this website. Except for right now, because I have bills to pay and a cat to feed. So look, fellow tumblr gremlins, I am just trying to say that if your personal brand of comedy is laughing at the kind of jokes that could only be produced on this hell website, and:

you like pirates

you're queer and want to read more books by queer authors

you want your fictional queer characters to be a hell of a lot more Messy and Unhinged than they often are depicted as being

you're interested in seeing a love triangle (M/M/NB) that resolves into polyamory

you want books where the hottest character gets to makes Passionate Speeches about rebelling against oppressive institutional regimes like governments and organized religions

you believe that capitalism is the most oppressive institutional regime of them all

you think it's fun when two characters have been in a 15-year-long relationship where the vibes have been "We're Newly Divorced" nearly since day one

you believe that All Cops Are Bastards and want to know what to do when you get pulled over by the boat cops

you think the Great British Bake-Off would be improved with weaponry, ritualized bribery/coercion of judges, and elaborate shit-talk

then this book might be for you. Beneath the wall-to-wall hijinks, it is political and it is righteously angry and it is the funniest thing I have ever written (which is saying something, because I have written some funny shit). It's called RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND. Here's a picture of it.

If all that sounds cool, you can read a review of it here and the first chapter of it here to see if it as funny as I am claiming it is, and then if you think that it is, you can preorder it here. It comes out on June 11! Ten days from now!

Thank you for letting me market to you for a minute. Signal boosting would be very much appreciated.

[draigviller]

[hotcelebeauties]

Alexandra Daddario

[celebscleavage]

Alexandra Horvath

[wherela]

So apparently the Polish tumblr team call polls "ankiety" which is very funny to me as a native Romanian speaker because this word (anchetă - pronounced similarly to polish ankieta) has the connotation of police investigation. Like yeah I'm opening a criminal file on my mutuals. Vote here. Everything you say can and will be used against you )))))

Disclaimer I don't actually have polls yet

this is hilarious, i will be calling them criminal files from now on

[flickeringflame216]

@tzarina-alexandra saw them and thought of you!!!

[celebrity-erotictriggers]

Alexandra Daddario

[roofhaunting]

The absolutely stunning Alexandra Daddario...drool

[louisbxne]

black vampires + witches

akasha, queen of the damned (2002)

louis & claudia, interview with the vampire (2022-)

tara thorton, true blood (2008-2014)

blade, blade (1998)

marcel gerard, the originals (2013-2018)

sarah fox, my babysitter's a vampire (2011-2012)

alex & camryn, twitches (2005)

rochelle zimmerman, the craft (1996)

bonnie bennett, the vampire diaries (2009-2017)

vincent griffith, the originals (2013-2018)

marie laveau, american horror story (2011-)

macy vaughn, charmed (2018-2022)

[metropolicinema]