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cyber-cry-baby · 1 year

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Miasma pt. 3 "X"

Caustic x fem reader Words: 2300+ Warnings: swearing, and violence ofc it's time for a game A/N: I'm sorry that there is not much interaction between reader and Caustic yet... but there will be a lot in the next chapter ;)

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"Oh hell no, this can't be true...”

That sentence had been on your mind several times this week. The most vivid memory was the extremely unpleasant wakeup from a few days ago when you had a pounding hangover and realized you had to face the media and interviewers.

Immediately after that, the previous evening was deeply ingrained in your mind. You couldn't bear to think for a moment about the encounter that had happened in the elevator. Unfortunately, you remembered everything. The discomfort brought on by the hangover had already subsided, but the thought of embarrassing yourself hadn't. Fortunately, you hadn't had to run into Dr. Caustic again since that incident.

Until now.

"Oh hell no, this can't be true...”

The sentence was strong in your mind at this very moment once again. You stared at the tips of your boots, trying to focus on anything other than what was happening right now. Unfortunately, it would be a bit difficult to concentrate on anything else but this moment because it was time to jump out of the Dropship and into a new place and a new battle. Thankfully, excitement overwhelmed your mind, allowing you to overlook the fact that Alexander Nox was on the same team as you.

"It would be wise to move”, you heard a low voice say firmly. Kings Canyon loomed beneath the Dropship. You started to wake up from your thoughts and see what was going to happen just now. Any other stuff in your mind retreated, and you entered battle mode.

"Let's check out this area”, former soldier Anita Williams commanded. Leaving the Dropship behind, you leaped into the unknown.

Your squad landed into Market and you immediately run to find yourself a weapon. Opening a door, you simultaneously focused on adjusting the settings of your earpiece. The ear-device you had constructed could pick up speech and footsteps from a long distance radius, and you were pleasantly surprised by how well it had performed in your first game. There was no sounds to hear yet.

You picked up a few grenades and luckily found an R-99 along with a decent amount of ammunition. Shooting was by no means new to you. You wouldn't have even made it into the games if you had never picked up a weapon before. Years of practice had been part of your journey to join the Apex Games, and it had clearly paid off as you found yourself here now. The lightweight SMG fit well in your hand.

"Hey, Specter, supplies!" Anita exclaimed, pointing at a level 2 body shield and syringes on the ground. You rushed to fetch her findings and thanked her. You looked to the other end of the building, where Caustic set his traps at the doors.

"Let's reposition here", Anita gestured for you to move forward once you had cleared the building. You were eager to continue pushing ahead and appreciated the fast pace. You hadn't exchanged a word with Dr. Caustic and didn't feel it necessary at this point. You decided to stay out of his way as much as possible.

"Very well", Alexander nodded, and you moved forward.

You arrived at an area with multiple small buildings side by side. You studied the surroundings, searching for as many supplies as possible, and luckily came across a larger backpack.

"Just a moment, listening!" you called out to your team and gathered some audio data from the vicinity. Footsteps. About 500 meters away.

"We have incoming movement from an enemy team. They are currently located approximately 500 meters away from our position", you reported to your teammates. Anita nodded and readied her rifle. You slipped out of the door and behind the building. An idea struck you. Using the aid of an iron fence, you climbed onto the rooftop of the building. The suit you had personally sewed allowed you to move extremely fast and agilely. There was just sand as far as the eye could see. You detected footsteps that had moved a bit closer. Suddenly, three figures emerged from behind a dune, running.

You were tense, feeling your heart pounding in your throat. Your mouth felt dry and your hands were sweating.

"We got company, people!" Anita shouted, opening fire immediately. Alexander had set traps throughout the area, and the first opponent ran straight into one, triggering the gas to spread. Standing on the rooftop, you took aim at one of the running enemies.

Anita successfully took down one of the enemy team members. You also opened fire, and the battle raged on. Bullets flew in all directions.

"Incoming grenade!" Alexander warned. Everything happened very quickly.

"Hold up, there's more!" you exclaimed to your teammates. Just moments ago, it had seemed pretty easy as you stood unnoticed on the rooftop, and the opposing team was almost defeated. However, now other team came from a different direction and started shooting at you. Down at the ground, Anita signaled for you to retreat for a moment.

Fuck.

You maneuvered yourself down from the rooftop and slipped into one of the buildings where Caustic and Bangalore had already taken cover.

"Give me a sec. Recharging shields," Anita huffed. The previous game had gone well because the timing had always been on point. Now, the timing wasn't that good as the two enemy teams attacked simultaneously. From the building's entrance, footsteps could already be heard.

"Smoke out!" Anita fired her smoke launcher to provide some cover for you.

"What do we do? It's too dangerous to spread your gas here; we'd be trapped", Anita calculated, directing her question to Caustic. You didn't wait for an answer because action had to be taken NOW. People were already pushing in the building, there were enemies still remaining.

"That's not wise!" Anita shouted after you as you ran through the thick smoke. Wise or not, you didn't want to wait around for a bullet to the head. Your wristbands weren't just for show. You tapped the display on your right wrist as you ran forward. At a critical moment, you pressed a button, and as you approached the two enemies standing by the door, you successfully sent out a vision impairing signal at just the right time. That helped you to take them both down. You dropped to your knees. Both teams were eliminated.

"Throne's ours for the taking. Great job, Specter. I didn't know you could do that," Anita ran over and helped you up.

"Well, that was the first time I practically did that..." you gasped. Alexander also arrived on the scene, giving you a glance but not saying a word. You continued on your journey.

Only four enemy squads left. You were already in the top five. Anita led your team through the desert. You didn't feel very safe and scanned the surroundings for somewhere to take cover and wait for the enemy. Suddenly, you heard voices in your earpiece, quite close by.

"Just a moment, I'm picking up a signal," you paused.

"No time to stop," Alexander uttered. It was the first sentence he directed straight at you. You were momentarily taken aback, feeling your cheeks flush. A strange reaction.

"But I—"

It was too late; you were surrounded.

The guns started singing once again. You leaped and dodged bullets with agility. Each member of your team played their part, and you fought successfully. Until...

"I'm down!" Anita shouted. Damn it. You tried to run away from the bullets. Where was Caustic? You no longer saw him. All you saw was smoke. However, you had only been in one game prior to this. You felt that your inexperience led you to rush around without proper tactics.

If we lose now, it's my fault. You took cover behind the nearest large rock, trying to form some kind of plan.

Suddenly, you felt a gun pressed against the back of your head. Cold steel appeared out of nowhere, sending you out of the game.

That's it.

You stood dirty and breathless amidst a crowd of people. Medical experts ensured that everyone was okay, and people were guided out of the respawn chamber as they had lost the game. Physically, you were fine, but mentally, you were more worn out than after the previous game. It frustrated you, and you blamed yourself for letting a good game spiral out of control. You felt guilty.

"It wasn't your fault," Anita patted you on the shoulder, as if reading your thoughts. "I chose a bad route; we should have avoided open spaces."

"The outcome would have been favorable if our team had experienced and skilled legends", Alexander stepped forward from the crowd. He had taken off his mask. You looked at him incredulously. A lump formed in your throat. You clenched your hand into a fist, not wanting to show your vulnerability now. After all, you were still a legend, losses were to be expected. One bad game wouldn't ruin everything, especially since it was only your second game ever.

"Don't be so harsh on her. She saved your ass back there, did you already forget that?" Anita's words made you feel better. It was true, you had saved the entire team at the beginning of the game in that building. You were grateful that Anita defended you.

"I meant what I said", Alexander noted coldly, looking you directly in the eyes. There was disappointment and a hint of anger in you. That man annoyed you so incredibly much.

You returned to your apartment late. The feeling of disappointment had faded as you reasoned with yourself that you would learn more along the way, and one cynical idiot's opinion wouldn't matter. You had chatted with others for a while, and they were all incredibly encouraging. You were grateful for all the good people you had encountered here.

Heading towards your bed, something caught your eye on your pillow. It was something you hadn't left there yourself. A note. You glanced around. Who could have left it, and how? You opened the note and read it. You read it again, still not realizing who could have brought it.

"Congratulations on another outstanding game. We might have some use for you. See you tomorrow at 2 am on the rooftop terrace. X"

What or who on earth is X? How mysterious... You pondered, staring at the piece of paper.

Whatever it was, it would be revealed tomorrow.

#apex legends #alexander nox #apex caustic #apex fanfic #alexander nox x reader #caustic x reader

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

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Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 10

Alex was happy. For the first time in all his life, he was truly happy. He even called his mother to tell her how happy he was, she was pleased to hear it was because of a woman and was desperate to meet her.

‘Perhaps soon,’ Alex promised. ‘She is working on herself at the moment, I do not want that disturbed for any reason.’

‘Oh, Alex, I’m sure dinner with family won’t hurt.’ His mother pleaded, but he knew better. He couldn’t overwhelm Jessica for any reason.

‘I’m going to ask her to marry me.’ He blurted out. His mother was quiet for a moment before suddenly laughing with such joy.

Alex honestly hadn’t figured out the ins and outs of it, but he was absolutely certain that Jessica was the one for him. He didn’t want to live the rest of his life without her, not for a single second. If she was his wife, he would never have to worry about anything ever again. She was his answer, his angel.

Jessica had been going into the lab a little earlier than usual, Humbert had asked her to help out with a few trials across the department, it was mostly just filing and Alexander didn’t mind in the slightest. She was trying to find her independence again and he wanted that for her.

They spent the nights in his apartment, he asked her to move in with him, she joked that they were basically living together already and he agreed. She didn’t have a lot of personal items, but he made sure they all had a place within his home. He liked the way it looked, she was sprinkled all over his life in every way now and it was beautiful.

Alex had minimal experiments running and so one morning he decided to get in a work out in preparation for the next Apex Games. Jessica had left that morning to work on one of the trials in the adjoining lab to his, she was excited about it, it was a medical trial and that was her forte.

‘Don’t work too hard.’ He said as she began dressing and he watched her from the bed.

‘The only place I work hard is in here.’ She bit her lip and crawled across the bed, still half dressed, and kissed him. God, she was beautiful.

‘You could be late?’ He suggested.

‘I could.’ She chuckled, darkly, kissing him again, her lips were so soft, and he just wanted to devour her. ‘But Chase hates lateness and I can’t be bothered to deal with the yelling.’

Alex smiled, but reluctantly let her go. ‘I love you.’ He said.

‘I love you too.’ She smiled that beautiful smile.

‘Make sure you finish on time tonight.’ He told her, leaning on his elbow to see her properly. ‘I’ll be making dinner.’

‘Oh really?’ She slid her white blouse on and laughed. ‘What’s the occasion?’

‘You’ve been working hard, and I think you deserve a nice evening free from stress.’ Alex tried to make it casual and simple, and much to his surprise, it worked.

‘Well, fair enough.’ Jessica smiled, picking up her shoes and jacket. She rounded the bed once more and kissed him again. He never wanted her to leave, but she was enjoying her work and he wouldn’t take that from her, not for any reason. ‘I’ll see you tonight then.’

‘See you tonight.’ He agreed and watched her leave, looking back to run her eyes over his body once more, making him laugh.

Alex was happy.

He made it into work after a good workout, feeling proud of himself and thinking on the evening to come where he would finally ask her to marry him. He had it all planned out, he would make her dinner, make love to her and ask her to do him the honour of being his wife. He promised himself that if she said yes, he would always put her first, he would create a life so beautiful for her, she would almost forget the horrors. Alex would never love another the way he loved her, and he wanted to show her that.

He planned for the following day to meet his mother, she would love Jessica and Jessica would love her. They had a lot in common and it would make Alex incredibly happy to know that they could be a family together. Jessica deserved that, she deserved the world.

Alex began getting on with his day when the walls suddenly shook, an explosion.

He sprinted out of his lab, noting that it came from the same lab that Jessica was working in. Humbert was just outside, he closed the door to the lab to contain whatever was happening inside.

‘Where is Jessica?’ Alex demanded. Humbert just glared at him and pointed to the lab that was filling with green gas, he couldn’t see her. ‘No.’ He breathed. ‘Open the door!’

Humbert did nothing. Alex felt that familiar rage surging through him and grabbed his boss by the lapels of his jacket.

‘Open the door.’ He growled, not knowing what he would do to Humbert if he refused again.

‘You think I wouldn’t notice?’ Humbert panted. ‘You think I wouldn’t see those experiments of yours, what was your plan? Were you going to test it on people next? Kill innocents? And that woman you hired? You’ve been fucking her, haven’t you? Like she’s just a plaything for you. Well, I’ve had enough of your-‘

He couldn’t say another word, Alex had slammed him into the wall and his head lolled back, unconscious. Alex let Humbert’s body drop to the floor and tried to force the door to the lab open. He couldn’t get through; he couldn’t even budge it. He turned his attention back to Humbert who was barely moving.

Alex felt himself blacking out with rage. His fists were flying into the mans face at a rapid pace, he didn’t stop until his hands were covered in blood. He looked down to see Humbert’s face had caved in from the force, he was dead.

A noise behind him had Alex turning around. The whole lab had seen him and were frozen still. He would be executed for this, there was no choice. Alex stood up, rage and fury the only thing fuelling him now, if Humbert thought he was a monster, then a monster he would be.

Alex pressed the emergency lockdown button and the entire building was cut off. He then went into his own lab, put on his gas mask and gathered the cannisters he was working with. He would kill everyone in the building to make up for what they did to Jessica.

He knew what needed to happen, he needed to make it look like he’d died as well, so he cut off two of his fingers and dismembered as many bodies as he could. The gas really worked the way he designed it to, it was incredibly fast and everyone he saw began choking on their own blood. He found it oddly soothing to exact revenge in such a way.

Alex gathered his plans, notes Jessica had made while he was away, and made one last visit to the lab she’d died in. The gas was still too thick to see her body, but it hurt him all the same. He wondered if it was better this way, the last memory he had of her was her kissing him and smiling as she left for work.

He could hear the police arriving outside the building and knew he would need to escape via the roof. The green gas still hadn’t cleared, and it broke his heart to know he would never hold her again, never kiss her soft lips, run his hand through her soft hair.

All he had left was a chain necklace with a pair of wings to serve as a reminder of what the world had lost, and to remind of what was always lurking beneath the surface. Jessica had been the only thing keeping the monster at bay, and the world would come to regret allowing that cage to be opened.

Jessica Wells was gone and he was a monster. Caustic was born.

END

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#caustic #alexander nox #alexander nox x ofc #caustic x ofc #caustic x reader #apex caustic

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 4

We walked mostly in silence through the almost empty streets, it was comfortable aside from the chill in the air. My ribs and hip still ached and I knew it was slowing me down marginally, but Nox didn’t say anything at all.

As it turned out, he lived fairly well, in the quieter part of town (that usually meant the wealthier). I rolled my eyes and he chuckled after introducing me as his friend to the guard outside the apartment building. He gestured for me to enter the lift first, it was almost the size of my bedroom.

‘I could sleep in this.’ I commented.

‘I’d rather you didn’t, I believe my apartment would be more comfortable.’ Where was the cheek earlier in the evening?

‘So, are we heading to the penthouse then? Or just the top floor?’ I decided to mock him, an attempt to ease the tension.

‘I’m afraid not,’ he chuckled, tension eased. ‘I live on the twenty-second floor, several below the penthouse which is owned by the director of the Apex Games.’

‘Oh, only twenty-two, huh? Not such a big shot then.’ I teased.

‘I assure you, I could easily have chosen a higher floor.’

‘Well, thank goodness you’re humble.’

We laughed until the lift came to a stop on the twenty-second floor. Nox led me out to see a well decorated hallway with only two doors. I could just about see the view through the small window from the centre of the hallway, all that was visible were the glittering lights of downtown.

‘There’s a better view inside.’ Nox said, noting my distraction.

I followed him into the spacious and glassy living area, the floor was a dark wood with white rugs scattered everywhere. The grey fabric corner sofa seemed to sit in the middle of the floor facing a large television which was still playing reruns of Nox’s last game, the highlights were minimal, but he must have found them useful. I could just about see the open plan kitchen where a protein shake was sitting waiting to be drunk, maybe he wasn’t in the middle of a workout when I arrived.

In any case, what I had seen of his apartment was incredibly impressive.

‘Can I take your silence as approval?’ Nox suddenly said, watching me. I realised my mouth was slightly open and I wasn’t going to give him any satisfaction.

‘No.’ I said defiantly, folding my arms. Nox laughed, knowing I didn’t mean it and I was just being stubborn.

‘Perhaps if you take my offer of a shower, it might change your mind?’

‘I swear, if you’ve got a bathtub that I can swim in, I’m going to ask for a pay rise as a matter of principal.’

‘Maybe not swim…’ he said and led me towards the bathroom which again was hugely spacious with grey marble surfaces, mirrors everywhere and a tub the size of a double bed in the centre of the room. The shower itself was half the size, but easy to walk into and possibly get lost. ‘Impressed?’ Nox asked again.

‘Okay, so let’s talk about my raise.’ I chuckled, making him do the same. ‘I cannot believe people really live like this.’

‘It’s an acquired taste, I’ve found.’

‘I’m sure I can acquire your tastes, Dr Nox.’

‘I would prefer you call me Alexander in my own home, or Alex would be satisfactory.’ He was frowning. ‘I don’t like bringing my work home with me… it’s the only rule I have.’

‘Fair enough.’ I really couldn’t argue, this was his home so I may as well have gotten used to using his first name. ‘So, are you just going to watch me get naked? Or do I get some privacy?’

‘As tempting as it is, I feel there is a right and wrong answer.’ I could see the faint blush once again creeping over his cheeks. ‘I will leave you in peace. You’ll find everything you need in here.’ He gently placed my duffel bag down and left me to shower.

I wasn’t exactly sure where to start, I was desperate to get clean, but it took a while to work out how the various dials and knobs worked, one was for hot, another for cold, another for power, but another seemed to change the angle the water came out at and I couldn’t imagine why anyone would need so many variables.

The shower was to die for, it was just the right temperature, it hit my skin in the right way and it just felt so wonderful. I never wanted to leave, but I would eventually have to come out and re-join the world.

I wasn’t sure what came over me, but I decided to explore the bathroom a little and through some uncharacteristic action, I opened up what looked like a medicine cupboard and saw the usual, toothpaste, brush and suspiciously unused looking shaving tools. There was also a blank, white pill bottle with the letters ‘APHR’ in black capitals on it. I didn’t dare pick it up, or open it, but I was curious about what was in it and why it looked untouched with a very thin layer of dust over the cap.

I closed the cupboard and changed into a fresh white t-shirt and loose black joggers, tying my long, blonde hair up into a loose bun. I wandered out of the bathroom, closing the door, only to turn into the bare chest of Dr Nox, I immediately felt my face inflate red.

‘Sorry.’ I said, not really sure of why.

‘That’s quite alright,’ he said, I noticed he was carrying his black t-shirt in his hands. ‘Did you enjoy your shower?’ It was only then that I noticed the shape he was in, it was phenomenal, my boss was a specimen. His hips were narrow, stomach bulging with muscle, broad chest with a thin patch of hair layered over it, shoulders that curved into his excessively large arms and suddenly my throat was dry.

‘It was obscene.’ I rolled my eyes, once again folding my arms and trying my best to seem like my normal self. ‘Kind of like your… chest.’

‘My chest?’ He frowned, smiling somewhat.

‘You’ve got too many muscles, what the hell do you need them for?’

‘Structure, mostly.’ Nox looked down at himself, sorting his t-shirt before putting it on. ‘Is that better?’

‘I mean, I didn’t say put it on.’ I winked and made him laugh loudly once again.

‘I’m afraid this is an equal rights home, you may not want me to take my shirt off again.’ Damn, this man had banter. I just shook my head and laughed with him as he gestured for me to head back into the kitchen where he had cleared most of the surfaces. ‘Can I interest you in some tea?’

‘Sure, if you’re making some.’ I smiled and hopped up onto one of the stools while he went about making us both some tea. His shirt was especially tight and even his back muscles could be seen through it. Once again, I felt myself swallowing and trying to look anywhere that wasn’t at Dr Nox. ‘I still can’t believe you know how to take orders and make tea.’

He chuckled and turned to face me, leaning on the counter. ‘I am man of considerable talent.’

‘And once again, you demonstrate that you are also incredibly humble.’ I smiled, teasing him, but suddenly my mind was cast back to the bottle in his medicine cupboard.

He watched me curiously. ‘Something wrong?’

‘No, I’m just thinking.’ It wasn’t dishonest and he could see that, but he wasn’t exactly convinced.

‘May I ask what about?’

‘You can ask.’

‘Will you tell me?’ Nox leaned on his forearms and watched me more intently than before.

I actually debated asking him about the bottle, but chickened out last minute. ‘Why are you so buff?’ I pretended to be curious to make him laugh, but it only half worked.

‘I participate in the Apex Games on occasion, I enjoy the sport and in order to have a real chance at victory, I need to ensure my body is in prime condition.’

‘The sport of shooting other people and pretending to be someone you’re not?’

‘That’s one way of putting it.’

‘What’s the other way?’

Nox stood up and turned to finish making the tea. He placed the black, matte mug in front of me and wandered around to sit opposite me, his whole frame dwarfing mine, not that I was particular big anyway. ‘The other way,’ he started, resting one foot on the floor, the other on the foot rung while he ran his hand over his thick, dark beard. ‘Is to understand that in the Games you can’t die, not really. To come so close to death and feel the exhilaration of holding another life in your hands is an adrenaline rush, one I like to enjoy within the safety of the Games.’

I thought on his words for a moment. He was an adrenaline junkie, everyone who participated in the Games was one of sorts, but Nox actually enjoyed the concept of death vs life to a degree I’d never thought about before. Life was precious to me. Death was fascinating to him.

‘You seem disappointed.’ Nox said, breaking my thoughts.

‘I don’t know if disappointed is the right word.’ I said, honestly. ‘Surprised maybe… I think I just never thought about it before and if I did, that wasn’t the answer I thought you’d give.’

‘What did you think I would say?’

‘I’m honestly not sure.’ I shook my head.

‘I don’t undervalue life,’ his pale eyes bore into mine. ‘Please do not think that I don’t value the life that I have or the lives around me. The question of death has fascinated many people for years, this is just my expression of it.’

Well, that made sense I supposed. It wasn’t so much that he enjoyed people dying, more the question of how, the process, the mental, the physical, the spiritual even. He wondered why and what happened after you died. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I initially thought.

‘That wasn’t the question on your mind.’ Nox could see I was no longer showing the same expression and smiled at me gently. ‘Is there something else you wish to know?’

I thought about it for a moment and decided to just tell him the truth, he never cared that I went through his stuff at work, but I figured that was mostly because I wouldn’t understand any of it, this was a bit different.

‘What does APHR stand for?’ I leaned on my hand observed him as his face suddenly emptied of all colour, had I gone too far?

Nox cleared his throat and suddenly the colour came rushing back to his cheeks as he half laughed. ‘It doesn’t stand for anything,’ he sipped his tea. ‘It’s just a shortened version of the word.’

‘What word?’ I frowned, suddenly realising I may have gone too far.

‘Aphrodisiac.’ He grinned, his face still blushing furiously.

I felt my jaw drop for a number of reasons. ‘You actually have an aphrodisiac? Wait, why do you have that sitting in a bottle in your bathroom? Have you ever used it on anyone? You haven’t secretly used it on me, have you? Did you make it yourself?’

Nox laughed and looked at the floor for a moment, fiddling with his hands. ‘Yes. Because where else would I keep it? Yes, a few times. I would never without permission. And yes, I did.’

‘Does it actually work?’

‘Yes.’ Nox was still grinning and blushing, but he wasn’t refusing to answer any questions.

‘How well?’ I narrowed my eyes at him.

‘It needed some modification in the beginning,’ he explained. ‘But eventually I found a good balance.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘The early stages proved to be… somewhat painful.’ I could see him praying for me to understand. ‘The subject would reach a state of arousal for a much longer period of time and at a much higher intensity than desired.’

‘Ah, I get it.’ I nodded and sipped the surprisingly good tea.

‘Eventually, I was able to bring the effects down enough to last only a few hours at a moderate intensity.’

‘A few hours?!’ I exclaimed. ‘Jeez, who are you shagging for hours on end, a bloody robot?!’

‘She was a little difficult at times, yes.’ I could see there was something painful sitting in his chest as Nox took another mouthful of tea.

‘I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t be asking all these questions.’

‘No, it’s fine. It’s nice to see you smiling and excited about something that I can take an interest in as well.’ Nox’s gaze flickered over my face as he continued to smile at me. ‘May I ask what led you to looking inside my medicine cabinet?’

It was my turn to flush. ‘I got curious.’ I half shrugged, taking a gulp of tea in an attempt to hide my reddening cheeks.

‘You got curious?’ His eyebrows flickered upwards, so I shrugged again. ‘In that case, I would like to ask a more personal question.’

‘I had a feeling that was coming.’ I sighed and nodded.

‘I think it’s only fair.’ He reasoned and I couldn’t disagree. ‘Tell me about the last time you had sex.’

My face hurt it was so red. ‘The last time I had sex? Why?’

‘For research purposes.’ Nox shrugged, giving me a reason that was clearly not the actual one.

‘No, no, no, if we’re going to have an honest conversation, you can’t lie about why you want to know.’ I was putting my foot down. ‘All I did was snoop about a bit, I didn’t ask you anything about you actually having sex.’

‘The last time I had sex was with a woman who insisted on taking the aphrodisiac pills I created just so she could stand being with me.’ I was silent. ‘It was the same process every time, she wanted to impress another man with her skill, she used me to practice with as well as test her own limits… I had little else to do with my time.’

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything that would feel right. Nothing came to mind, I had so many questions, suddenly I was seeing Dr Nox in a new light, one I never even considered him having before.

‘She didn’t really want to be with you?’ It was the first thing that left my mouth.

‘No, she didn’t enjoy the way I look… it’s a common complaint and one I’m well used to.’

‘You mean she didn’t enjoy the hundreds of muscles you have just in your one arm?’

At least that made him chuckle. ‘That was something she could bear, but she disliked more than just my exterior. She was a very sexual being and I could provide what she needed sexually and no more.’

‘But I don’t understand.’ I frowned. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you… I mean, you’ve got a bit of a temper, but you’re not unattractive or anything… what the hell was wrong with her? Why would she do that to you? Why would you let her?’

Nox just sat smiling. ‘You seem a little upset.’

‘I am upset!’ I really was and I wasn’t sure that was being made clear. ‘You can’t just treat people like that, like they’re just playthings for you to do with as you please.’

‘Some people like being playthings.’

‘Well… yeah, I guess, but if you’re in a relationship or whatever, then it’s different.’

‘Do you enjoy it?’

‘I suppose, sometimes, but that’s not the point I’m making! I’m trying to say that you don’t deserve to be treated like that and you shouldn’t accommodate these people just because you’re bored, they’ll only take advantage.’

Nox watched me with a more intense eye. ‘Okay.’ He nodded. ‘I won’t let anyone treat me like that again.’

‘Good.’ I sighed and took another mouthful of tea to calm down a little, I don’t know why it made me so angry. Nox just continued to watch me for a moment or two.

‘Now, will you tell me about the last time you had sex? I believe I’ve revealed more than enough information to warrant something from you.’ He was back to grinning.

My face inflated red once again and I just half laughed thinking about how awful it really was.

‘Erm… we were drunk,’ I started. ‘It was just after I was treated and diagnosed, I was just upset and needed cheering up.’

‘Did it help?’

I shook my head. ‘No… it’s not like either of us were really into it, he didn’t really want to… do anything and I just wanted it to be over.’

‘What did he not want to do? Specifically?’

‘Specifically?’ I laughed, shaking my head. ‘Anything that I liked or wanted really.’

We sat silently for a moment, both of us just taking everything in. I felt his hand come up to my face and gently wipe away a tear that I barely knew had fallen.

‘Why did you want to know?’

‘Because, I’m curious.’ At least that made us both smile.

‘You know curiosity killed the cat.’

‘What cat?’ He frowned.

‘I don’t know, its just old saying.’ I shrugged and he left it there. ‘Wait a second, you asked if I like being someone’s plaything!’

‘I did.’ Nox grinned again. ‘And you said, sometimes.’

‘Well, then, as per equal rights, you can answer the same question.’ I demanded, not quite knowing how this conversation had actually started and why we were being so upfront about these things.

‘I prefer to be the one playing.’ He admitted, thoughtfully.

For just a moment we both stayed silent, watching each other. His pale eyes scanned me a few times, making my cheeks blush.

‘Are we flirting now?’ I asked, still not able to rid my face of a smile.

‘I believe we have been for a long time.’ Nox nodded and finished his tea. I frowned. ‘Your personality is refreshing and we’ve never had a dishonest conversation. We make each other laugh at the other’s expense, I don’t mind being myself around you, I believe I have learnt far more from you than I anticipated as well.’

‘Well, I’m a great teacher, so that’s no surprise.’

‘That’s true.’ He nodded.

‘Out of curiosity,’ we both chuckled. ‘What have you learnt from me?’

‘That tolerance is not a precursor to love.’ He said, almost immediately. ‘Passion and joy are the only factors that matter.’ Nothing could have prepared me for what he said next. ‘I certainly feel joy when you are around.’

I felt my mouth open of its own accord. I was only half sure of what he was saying, was he saying what I thought he might have been saying? Did he know what he meant? Did I know what he meant? Was he simply saying he enjoyed my company? That I was a good assistant? Was there another reason I was in his home?

‘You’re thinking very fast.’ Nox observed and brought me out of my panic. ‘I said something that you’re unhappy with.’ He concluded and I could see a small amount of sadness creeping into his expression.

‘Not… not unhappy.’ I said. ‘I don’t know what I think… I never considered the possibility before.’

‘That I could enjoy your company this much?’ He clarified and I nodded. ‘Would you consider it now?’ Did he mean that very second? It was a lot to think about! ‘Perhaps we could discuss it together?’

‘Wait… just wait a moment.’ I stopped him. ‘I just want to clarify what you’re saying before I think about anything.’

He took a deep breath, before speaking, thinking on each word he was about to utter. ‘I am quite certain that I’m falling in love with you.’

Well… it was clearer at least. I stayed silent for far longer than I intended, just thinking about every conversation we’d ever had where I might have picked up on hints or subtleties or anything at all that may have indicated that he felt that way.

Almost every conversation where we had been social, was one where he laughed, but that was just because he was relaxed, he was in a place where he didn’t have to be anyone but himself and his work was either being taken care of, or not a concern at that moment. Was that what he was talking about? Or was it something else?

And how did I feel about him? I liked him, he was a likable man as far as I was concerned, sure he had a little danger in him, but he was a six foot four man who competed in the Apex Games, of course, he was dangerous, he needed to be. Was I attracted to him? He was handsome, sure, an absolute specimen as I’d recently discovered, he had a nice attitude towards me, I never denied that. But was it attraction? I looked up at him and observed him for a moment or two, his expression seemed to be one of patience and confusion.

‘It worries me that you have remained silent.’ He stated gently.

‘I’m sorry.’ I half smiled. ‘I’m just thinking.’

‘I can see that. May I ask what it is that is confusing you?’

I thought about it for a moment. What was confusing me? ‘Is it physical?’

‘Yes.’ He nodded and I felt something drop in my stomach.

‘Right.’ I said, much more quietly than I intended.

‘It’s also emotional,’ he added and my gaze shot up to his. ‘I suppose spiritual as well, I find it all consuming and intoxicating.’

‘Right.’ I breathed again. What was I supposed to say to that?

Nox bowed his head in disappointment. ‘Can I assume that you do not reciprocate those feelings?’ I could see a flash of anger building, but it didn’t seem to scare me. The anger wasn’t aimed at me, it never was, it was more internal than that. ‘I apologise if I have made a misjudged step, I believed that with our previous discussions and your willingness to talk about sensitive subjects, that you might have found the same comfort in me that I find in you.’

‘You’re not comfortable around anyone.’ I pointed out, half in attempt to joke.

‘No… I’m not.’ His pale eyes flickered up to mine. I watched as he began going through the process of what to do next.

‘I just don’t understand you sometimes.’ I half laughed, startling him slightly.

‘In what way?’ He frowned curiously.

‘You love science, you love your work, no one has the passion that you do for it,’ I could feel the emotion building behind my eyes. ‘I always thought the best I could be for you was someone who let you get on with that work. I didn’t think you were interested in people like that.’

‘I’m not interested in people,’ he shook his head. ‘I find them predictable and hardly noteworthy. I find you intoxicating, Jessica.’ I felt a sudden flush overwhelm my skin, it almost stung.

‘That’s a strong feeling to have.’ I raised my eyebrow, playfully.

‘It is.’ He agreed and once again, waited for me to say something else.

‘When… how did you reach that conclusion?’

Nox sucked in a deep breath and sat up a little straighter, thinking on his answer. ‘I suppose five months ago I had a feeling that you might not have been as other assistants, another month of watching you work and do your best to allow me the room to do as I needed to… I was fascinated by your work ethic as well as your strength to overcome personal issues.’

‘And then what? You just decided it was love?’ I wasn’t taking a shot, I was just trying to understand him.

‘I decided it was more than tolerance,’ he smiled. ‘More than simply acknowledging and accepting your existence, I actively sought out to protect it and enjoy it.’

‘That’s why you threw a fit when those guys attacked me.’ Suddenly his rage made a lot more sense. I watched his fists suddenly clench and his knuckles began to turn white as the anger started bubbling beneath the surface.

‘It was not as irrational as you thought.’ His voice was tense growl and it made me fear slightly. ‘I never wanted you to leave my sight after that, I still don’t.’

‘And that’s why I’m here.’ I nodded, understanding everything a little clearer now.

‘Yes.’ Nox seemed able to calm himself down and I felt a sudden urge to touch his fists in some effort to loosen them before he did himself an injury. I slid my hand over his soft skin and listened to him exhale in relief, like all he really needed was a little physical contact to finally let the anger leave him.

Before I really knew what either of us were doing, Nox had turned his hand over and allowed me to glide the tips of my fingers over his palm. I couldn’t help but watch his eyes close as he absorbed the feeling, his breath shallowed and I could have watched his expression all night. I had never known Nox to be so exposed before, to let his guard down this much in front of another person. It scared me for a moment, I needed to stop.

I took a breath and removed my hand, once again seeing that flash of anger before his eyes connected with mine and it quickly faded.

‘Why did you stop?’ He asked, voice low and relaxed.

‘Because I got scared.’ I replied honestly.

‘Scared of what?’

‘Of how willing you are to let your guard down in front of me.’

Nox was quiet, he just watched me, on occasion his eyes darkened before growing pale again.

‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything at all.’

‘No,’ I shook my head. ‘I’m glad you told me. To be honest, I know I’ve fallen in love with you, but I just don’t know if it’s in quite the same way. I need to think about it for a while.’

‘Very well.’ He nodded. ‘If there’s anything you require of me, please ask.’

‘I will.’ I smiled gently, before knowing how to ease all tension. ‘Maybe you should have just slipped me one of those pills and just taken what you want.’

It made him smile and shake his head, not the reaction I was expecting. ‘I believe that experience would be more satisfying with your permission and no external stimulants.’

‘Oh, I don’t know, sometimes that stuff can be fun,’ I felt my face blush at the sudden image of Nox and I together in bed. ‘But I think you’d need the pills more than I would.’

Nox leaned forward and frowned. ‘You’re giving me mixed signals.’ He said, eyeing me curiously.

‘I have another question.’ I stopped him from looking at me too closely. He nodded for me to ask it. ‘When I was hurt and you were helping me, putting the ointment on… it looked like you enjoyed what you were seeing, the bruises on my ribs.’ I watched a new expression appear on his face, one I was unsure I understood. ‘I don’t know if I could really fall for someone who enjoys that kind of thing. Why do you like it?’

Nox stood up, I saw the flicker of rage and suddenly I felt like I needed to run away, like something very bad was about to happen. He walked to the centre of the living room and I watched his whole being tense and his fists once again clench so tightly he was at risk of injuring himself.

‘It wasn’t the bruising.’ He said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. I listened to him taking deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down. ‘I didn’t enjoy seeing you in pain, Jessica.’

‘Then what was it?’ I asked just as quietly.

Nox turned around and sighed. ‘Do you really want me to tell you?’ He took a careful step towards me again. I nodded and watched him swallow nervously. ‘Before I applied the treatment, I couldn’t help but notice your body… I enjoyed the shape, the way it felt when I applied the ointment. The bruising extended below your belt and I imagined…’ he was suddenly unable to finish the sentence and looked away, ashamed. ‘But now, I know that you don’t feel the same way, I don’t wish cause you any discomfort.’

I thought for a moment. What the hell was wrong with me? I had a really hot, sexy, powerful and intelligent man telling me that he loved me and I wasn’t exactly rejecting him, he wanted me, probably for perfectly legitimate reasons and I was treating it like a normal conversation.

‘It doesn’t make me uncomfortable.’ I said quietly. Nox took another step towards me, somewhat hopeful. ‘I don’t know if I feel the exact same way, but I know that I like what you’re saying. I just think the rest of me would disappoint you.’

Nox grinned and his shoulders sank in relief. ‘I think the chance is worth taking, I don’t believe you could disappoint me.’ He took the last step towards me and I felt my breath stutter. ‘You’ve stopped shaking.’

I looked down at my hands to find he was right, the shaking from when we were in my flat had stopped and I felt a lot more settled. Maybe I did feel something more for him. I felt his hands slide over mine, caressing them gently, not intrusively, just suggestively, like the promise of more was just a question away.

‘Jessica,’ he said, before I could speak. ‘As much as I would love to do this tonight, you’re exhausted and still in pain.’ His hand moved to my jaw, gently bringing me up to face him, his eyes were dark, but it was clear he wasn’t about to do anything I didn’t want him to. ‘Will you allow me to assist you?’

‘Okay.’ I breathed, the temptation to reach out and touch him was overwhelming for a second.

Nox never looked away, he gently pulled me to stand up and for a while, I thought he might kiss me. I certainly wouldn’t have rejected him, but he didn’t kiss me, instead he took my hand in his and led me down a corridor, past the bathroom towards the end of the hall where another two doors were, one leading to a bedroom, the other I had no idea.

He opened the door to reveal a bedroom with a low bed almost twice the size of my own, dark, blue sheets were half on the floor, half on the bed. The floor was warm, dark grey wood with a white rug that surrounded the bed and a door that sat off to one side.

‘Is that a walk-in wardrobe?’ I raised my eyebrow and watched Nox grin and look a little bashful. ‘Why do you need a walk-in wardrobe? Why does anyone need one?’

‘It’s not need, it’s want.’ His voice was lower than I remember. ‘However, I’m surprised you didn’t notice the view.’ He gestured behind me to where a window stretched the length of his entire room, it was like a sea of glittering lights. I felt my legs move of their own accord towards the window to watch the nightlife of downtown. The vehicles moving through the streets, making the lights look like one continuous line of light, the flickering of building lights going on and off and the black sheet of sky covering everything.

‘It’s so peaceful.’ I breathed.

‘It is.’ I felt Nox breathe behind me and we just spent a moment watching the silent night in front of us.

‘Do you feel better for helping me tonight?’ I asked, unsure of where the question came from all of a sudden.

‘I do.’ His voice penetrated my core and I felt myself lean back ever so slightly. Nox was much closer than I realised because I felt the exterior of his t-shirt brushing my back, I wanted to keep going, something about his body pressed against me was alluring me in a way that I had never felt before. ‘Would you like me to check your injuries?’

I sucked in a sharp breath and nodded, clearing my throat, pretending like I wasn’t suddenly aroused by Dr Nox.

‘Lie down on the bed.’ He commanded and at first, I was hesitant, but soon I found myself walking towards his bed, watching him move the duvet to make room for me. The bed itself was incredibly comfortable and the second I lay down, I found myself wanting to fall asleep. Nox sat beside me and opened up the drawer beside us. ‘Lift your shirt.’ He said, taking the bottle of ointment out and pouring a little in the bowl that I didn’t realise was there. When did he get that? ‘You seemed to be enjoying the view, so I decided to leave you to it.’ He grinned and suddenly the Nox I knew was back.

I chuckled and tried my hardest to relax, but it was difficult being in his bed, with my shirt lifted, knowing he enjoyed what he was seeing. I felt the warm cloth touch my skin and suddenly my eyes shut and a new sensation washed over me, one that filled me with warmth and comfort. I felt the cloth run over my ribs, close to the hem of my t-shirt that was just about covering my chest, all the way down to the top of my joggers that hung a little lower on my hips than usual.

I felt the cloth suddenly stop when I inadvertently let out a low hum. My eyes flew open and I could see that Nox had a very dark look to him indeed, he was waiting for something. Permission? I swallowed thickly and he looked away, frowning slightly and removing the cloth from my ribs.

‘I’m sorry.’ I whispered.

‘Let me kiss you?’ It was the low commanding voice that came immediately after my apology.

I felt myself nod, not quite of my own accord and suddenly his lips connected with mine and a low growl was passed between us, neither of us quite knowing who it was that was making the noise. His hand slid up my jaw as he deepened the kiss, using his tongue to fully explore my mouth, his teeth to draw out moans wherever he saw fit and I couldn’t help but let my own hands drift up his body, feeling each muscle in his torso, his bulging stomach, narrow hips and broad chest. Nox groaned deeply the second my fingers traced the skin across the bottom of his t-shirt.

He brought his hands down to my wrists and gently pulled them away from his body to the side of my head. ‘Not tonight.’ He whispered, grazing my lips. ‘Jessica, not tonight.’

‘Why not?’ I frowned, not sure why after kissing me and making me ready for him, he would want to suddenly stop everything.

Nox chuckled lowly. ‘My saying no should be enough.’ He pulled back just a little to look down at me, his grip on my wrists loosened as his thumbs traced the sensitive skin on the inside of my forearms.

‘You’re sending me mixed signals.’ I echoed from earlier in the evening. Making Nox chuckle and place a chaste kiss to my mouth. He brought his hand down to my ribs, again stroking his thumb over the sensitive skin, before curling his large hand around my waist. He put the faintest amount of pressure on the still bruised skin and my eyes widened, while my own hand came down to stop him.

Nox sighed and smiled gently. ‘Not tonight.’ He repeated and I suddenly found myself agreeing. I slowed my breathing and kept it steady, while Nox continued to stroke my ribs and place the softest kisses to my mouth. It was both keeping me at a low level of arousal and relaxing me enough to go to sleep and he could feel it. ‘I’ll leave you to rest, Jessica.’

‘Stay.’ I breathed, not quite knowing if I really said it or if he heard me as my eyes closed and remained so until morning.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 6

The next week was difficult, Dr Humbert was putting pressure on Dr Nox to complete his latest research and it was only making him irritable and often angry. I did my best to calm the situation, but ultimately all I really could do was restrict his visitors even further to only the essential workers and make sure he had everything he needed on time and without hesitation.

My job became a little about predictability, which was hard enough most days, but now I was being forced to try to understand some of what he was talking in order to make sure he had what he needed.

My dingy little flat didn’t feel right anymore, I could suddenly hear everything so much louder, the peace and tranquillity of Dr Nox’s apartment had been a luxury I didn’t need. Returning to the noisy downtown area only served to keep me awake at night and I was constantly looking over my shoulder for the next time I was mugged.

I found myself missing the feel of Dr Nox around me, we hadn’t spoken about that night since it happened and part of me understood that he had been busy with his work, but the other part of me was a little upset that I hadn’t had the chance to tell him how I felt… however that was.

I tried not to daydream at work, ever, but with Nox just on the other side of the door and the image of his broad chest pressed against mine, it was difficult to stay focused. I honestly didn’t know if he had been telling me the truth anymore, I couldn’t picture him telling me that he was falling in love with me and have it have the same effect. I didn’t know if I felt the exact same way, I felt love for him, but I didn’t know if it was the same love. He had a furious temper that could rear at any moment and sometimes it scared me, but I never felt in any danger, he was kind to me, allowed me room to be who I wanted to be, whoever that was and I missed kissing him.

‘Well, that sounds like a simple problem that you have made complicated because you’re scared.’ Toni smiled as we walked back from the meeting. The night air was cooler and refreshing.

‘I’m not scared.’

‘Yes, you are, you are scared to fall in love because it means the life you knew before is definitely over.’ He went on, ignoring my defensive statement. ‘You started fighting young and now it’s all you know, never getting too close to people is default, trust me, I know all about that.’ Toni laughed, his pearly white teeth made even more so by his darker skin. ‘This is all part of taking the next step into reality. You said you never called him by his first name, why not? Is it because you truly don’t want to, or because it might mean more when you finally do?’

‘I have no idea what you’re really talking about here.’ I half laughed.

‘Jessica, it is plain as day to say that you are in love with this man, I see it from where I am standing, Dr Nox probably knows as well and from what you have told me, he is just waiting for you to decide whether you want him or not.’ Toni suddenly frowned. ‘I imagine he’s in a lot of pain doing so.’ He said, quietly.

I thought about it for a while, maybe Toni was right, maybe I was in love with Nox, I liked almost everything about him, I liked talking to him, having banter with him, he was smart, handsome, he cared about me, he was a great kisser and he never crossed any lines with me.

‘Maybe you’re right.’ I sighed as we came to the split in the road, I wasn’t keen on walking on my own again. ‘Maybe I need to just talk to him and tell him what’s going on, we’ve always had a fairly honest relationship.’

‘Then I am certain it will work out for the best.’ Toni smiled his easy smile. ‘Goodnight, Jessica. Stay safe and I will see you again next week.’

‘Yeah, see you next week Toni.’ I smiled back and immediately got my phone out, at least if I was on the phone to him, I may have been able to avoid some of the harsher looking faces.

‘Jessica?’ Dr Nox panted, he was in the middle of a workout once again.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.’ I suddenly felt very nervous.

‘That’s quite alright, how was your meeting?’ I was caught off guard by his seemingly genuine question.

‘Oh yeah, it was fine, to be expected really.’ I swallowed nervously. ‘I still can’t really talk about anything important, but no one seems to mind.’

‘If you are having difficulty talking about your experiences, can I assume you have called me for another reason?’ I was suddenly at a loss, how did he know me so well? ‘Jessica?’

‘Sorry, yeah, I called because… I want to talk.’

‘I thought we were talking.’ I could hear him smiling and I was sure he chuckled at the inevitable eye roll I responded with.

‘I mean face to face.’ I sighed. ‘I have some things I want to say to you.’

‘Of course, why don’t you begin walking to my apartment? I will meet you on the way.’ Even his suggestion carried a weight of authoritativeness.

‘Sure, I can do that.’ I turned around and started walking the other way.

Nox was quicker than I thought he would be, but then his stride was almost double mine so maybe I was just a slow walker. I felt the sharp blush reach my cheeks and thanked goodness that it was dark so he wouldn’t see it.

‘Jessica.’ He sighed, smiling. We stood a little far apart for my liking, it even made him frown. ‘Is something wrong?’ Why did he have to look so good in his tight work out gear?

‘No,’ I whispered, unable to make my voice work, much to his amusement. ‘I am in love with you.’ Well, I guess there was no time like the present, though I hadn’t quite intended to tell him like that. ‘I don’t know why I doubted that. Toni said I was scared and I think he’s right, I am scared, not of you, but of what you mean to me. The fact that you mean anything is a scary prospect to me and not one I have ever been given the chance to have before. I am in love with you, I just don’t know how to feel that without… feeling it, I guess.’ I half laughed towards the end, but the really scary thing was that Dr Nox hadn’t said a word or moved a muscle. I suddenly felt like this was a very bad idea indeed.

Dr Nox took in a deep breath and nodded. ‘Stay with me tonight.’ He said, not a command, but a firm suggestion, one I wanted to comply with.

‘Okay.’ I breathed, knowing he might not have heard, but he definitely saw that I was in agreement, because he tried to contain a smile. I let my breath go and rolled my eyes. Maybe everything was okay.

The walk was a little shorter than I remembered, but then last time I was being held up by my ribs that were injured at the time. I risked a glance at Nox every so often to see him thinking deeply, occasionally with a smile on his face, sometimes it was a deep frown.

We finally arrived at his apartment and rode the lift in silence, but this time, I could see that his eyes were dark and he was grinning to himself. He took out his keys and unlocked the front door, once again I was captivated by the small view of the glittering city, it was so peaceful.

I turned to see him leaning on the door frame, smiling at me and it only made me chuckle, following him inside.

‘Would you like some tea?’ Dr Nox asked, gesturing for me to enter into his kitchen and take the seat I occupied the week before.

‘Sure.’ I nodded, feeling the flush appear once again over my face, amusing him to no end.

While Nox made us both some tea, I saw that his television was once again paused in the middle of highlights of his previous match in the Games. This must have been part of his routine every night, to go over old matches, get a workout in and then presumably go to bed. It was just so quiet, it was no wonder he was able to get so much done in the precious free time he had.

‘You seem distracted?’

I jumped, finding that Nox was now sitting opposite me, sipping on his tea and smiling at me. How long had I been staring off in the distance for?

‘I’m okay,’ I shook my head. ‘I’m just thinking about things.’

‘What things?’

I rolled my eyes, grinning. ‘About the way you live. It still amazes me, the space you have to think and breathe.’

‘I find the peace desirable.’ He said simply, nodding. I wasn’t sure how to respond. ‘Jessica, I apologise if this week has been difficult for you, I know Dr Humbert has been pressuring us both, but you have risen to the occasion very well.’

‘It’s okay.’ I shook my head, not really wanting him to have to thank me for doing my job. ‘How is your research going anyway?’

‘It’s had its difficulties, but I believe I have had a breakthrough.’

‘Oh really?’

‘Yes, using gas may well be a better alternative to a liquid form, so tomorrow I will begin working on that theory.’

‘That’s… great news?’ I really didn’t know if it was and he knew that, but neither of us cared that much.

‘It is.’ Nox nodded and bowed his head slightly. He always made such good tea. ‘Though I did receive better news today.’ He looked up at me and smiled uncontrollably. ‘Did you mean what you said?’ I nodded slowly and watched him deflate with relief. ‘That pleases me. Would I be right in assuming that I will still have to earn the privilege of you using my first name?’

I could suddenly see so much clearer, he was fidgeting, nervous and anxious, like he didn’t want to mess anything up, like he wanted to do more than simply talk about things. I felt myself grinning and once again, blushing furiously.

‘I mean, privileges are there to be earnt.’ I made him suck in a breath and chuckle. ‘What exactly are you going to do to earn it?’

‘I’m going to make love to you.’

I almost choked on the breath that I sucked in. Did he really just say that? With such a casual and yet strangely sensual tone? Of course he did, Dr Nox never beat around the bush about anything, why should this be any different?

I could feel my teeth biting into my lower lip, something he was fixing his gaze on, the second I stopped, his dark eyes snapped up to mine and I was staring at two black gems, devouring me.

Nox scooped me up, pressing his lips to mine, his hands below my thighs encouraging me to wrap my legs around his thick waist, it was as if I weighed nothing at all. His hair was a combination of silky smooth and a little damp, but I loved it. His mouth attacked mine with glorious passion, he licked and bit and growled into every motion.

Without even realising that we had moved very far, I felt him lying me down on his huge bed, cradling me with his hands and softly stroking up my sides and into my hair. His tongue exploring my mouth and groaning as my hips pushed up into his.

‘Tell me what you like.’ He growled, placing hot kiss down my jaw and to that sweet spot just below my ear. What I liked, what I liked… huh, what did I like? ‘Jessica?’ Nox questioned and frowned, staring down at me. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I… I actually don’t know what I like.’ I said, more as a realisation than anything, but it only made him grin wickedly.

‘In that case,’ he stroked through my hair and smiled. ‘I’ll just have to experiment.’ The way he said it sent shivers through my entire body, making my chest lift just to be closer to him, had Nox chuckling and kissing my neck, softly nibbling the sensitive skin. ‘I’m going to enjoy this, Jessica.’ He whispered and I had no control over the light moan that left my mouth.

Nox lifted himself to kneel between my legs and unzipped his hoodie, stripping his tight black t-shirt off straight afterwards and I could see every part of his muscular torso, it was beautiful. His shape, the way he carried himself and the way he stared down at me was everything I’d always wanted without realising it. I didn’t hesitate in removing my jumper and t-shirt as well, not wanting to hide from him anymore.

He quickly stepped off the bed and helped me take my jeans off, revealing my pure white thong that I’d forgotten I was wearing that day. I heard Nox groan as he suddenly realised what I was wearing. He crawled back up my body, placing small, soft kisses wherever he desired, before reaching my mouth and devouring me with another kiss.

‘I need to see more of you.’ He said, desperately. Nox reached around to unclasp my bra, kissing my neck, biting gently, making my back arch and exposing more of myself to him.

‘Please.’ I cried, unsure of what I was asking for, but it made Nox chuckle wickedly against my skin.

He descended down my body, his beard scratching at all of my sensitive spots, his hands roaming over my waist and hips, caressing the flesh and keeping me close to his body that was working hard, flexing and relaxing and all of it was wonderful.

Finally, he reached my hips, placing hot, passionate kisses over the bone and soon his thumbs had hooked beneath my thong as he gently pulled the material away. I could feel his breath grazing me and let out a stuttered sigh. He hummed in approval and threw my thong away somewhere on the floor. ‘Delicious.’ He growled and let his lips drift agonisingly lightly over the exact place that I needed him to devour me.

I felt the cool air for just a moment as he stood up to remove his joggers and tight briefs, but unfortunately, I didn’t quite catch a glimpse of his size, if I had, I may not have been so nonchalant about everything he was about to do.

‘Jessica, say my name.’ He whispered against my lips. I couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh.

‘You’ve going to have to do better than that, Dr Nox.’ I teased, raking my fingers through his soft hair. He smiled another wicked smile and kissed me teasingly.

I suddenly felt his hand on my hip, rubbing his thumb across the inside where the skin was thinnest and more sensitive. My head fell backwards, my grip tightened and a smooth groan echoed from my throat, he almost had me.

‘Informative.’ He said and immediately lowered his mouth to my sensitive skin. His beard grazed it and I was already in a losing battle. Nox began kissing softly, making me sigh and breathe heavily, but the second he changed his approach to a somewhat more aggressive tone, using his teeth and fingers to press into flesh, that was when I knew I would be done for good. I could feel him creeping further and further downwards and I was only able to gently nudge him the direction of where I needed him to be. I felt his chuckle vibrating through me. ‘Don’t worry, I’m just as eager to taste you.’ He got so close to making me say his name, so incredibly close and he knew it as well.

Nox gave me a moment to regain a little of my breathing before pushing my legs apart and running his tongue through me. I didn’t even care how obscene I sounded, it only made him groan into the action and repeat over and over until he was satisfied. He kept my legs spread and started to experiment with moving in different directions, making shapes to see what I responded to best and he was so good at latching onto what did work and exploiting it.

I could feel his fingers pressing into my hips and all I could do was twist my fists into the sheets and try hard to hold onto anything I had left. It was a losing battle. ‘Yes.’ I breathed and the second I did, I felt him chuckle, repeating the motion with his tongue and bringing his hand around to the back of my leg.

‘Jessica.’ He breathed into me, before running two fingers through my folds, carefully sliding into me. I let out another deep groan, how could he make me feel so full with just his fingers? I wondered what he would feel like filling me with anything else, it was suddenly a scary and arousing prospect. ‘That’s it.’ He encouraged and I came closer and closer to coming undone. Suddenly his tongue was working with his fingers and I was there.

‘Yes!’ I cried and Nox brought me down slowly and gloriously. My chest was heaving breath into my lungs and I could feel the smile on my face forming.

‘So close.’ He chuckled and began kissing my hips, bringing me back up without letting me fully calm down. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll keep going,’ he reached my neck and dragged his lips over my jaw. ‘You will say my name, Jessica.’ He growled. ‘I will make you say my name.’ It was that beautiful warning, the one so filled with promise. I felt the lazy smile making an appearance on my face as he watched me come down a little. ‘You really are perfect.’

‘Perfect?’ I laughed. ‘You’ve already got me naked, the time for flattery has passed, don’t you think?’

‘Flattery implies deceit,’ he kissed my jaw again, keeping me on the edge. He pressed his body into mine so I could feel how hard he was between my legs. ‘I would never lie to you. You are the perfect specimen,’ his fingers brushed my hips as he spoke. ‘Your legs are strong and slender, perfect for wrapping around my waist,’ his beard scraped over every nerve in my jaw and neck. ‘Your hips are beautifully shaped, curved and easy to hold in my hands, your waist is slim and toned perfectly, your breasts are the perfect shape and weight,’ right on cue, his fingers drifted up to breasts and began massaging them, occasionally he would lightly pinch my nipples, making me sigh a little heavier than before. ‘Your neck is warm and soft, your jaw makes me want to be close to you and your face…’ Nox lifted himself to look over my face, my eyes were heavy and I was hardly able to focus on him properly. ‘You have very pretty features, very complimentary of each other, your hair is soft and rare. Only two percent of the human population of the universe is blonde. Your eyes… usually such bright, little emeralds that make me feel safe and settled, now obsidian gems that make me want to devour you in every way. Perfection.’ I hadn’t realised until that moment that my breathing had increased and I was now panting. His voice was just incredibly arousing on it’s own.

‘Perfection.’ I found myself repeating, just testing out the word, not really knowing if I suited it, but I supposed it didn’t really matter what I thought at that moment.

Nox kissed me softly, but I could already feel him nudging close to my centre, I wanted him so desperately.

‘Please.’ I breathed, massaging the back of his neck, feeling his attack on my neck increase.

Suddenly he stopped and stilled, had I done something wrong? ‘I apologise,’ he said, panting and lifting himself to see me, a small panic in his eyes. ‘I should have asked before if you are on any kind of contraception.’

It was my turn to panic, I could already feel the tears building in the corners of my eyes, I tried to hide my hands that had begun shaking. ‘No.’ I breathed, Nox was just about to get up, presumably to get some other form of protection. ‘I don’t need to be.’ I stopped him. Nox frowned and indicated for me to explain. ‘I can’t… I can’t get pregnant… so, no need to worry.’ He seemed at a bit of a loss. ‘Not so perfect, I suppose.’ Maybe joking would help the situation.

‘Your ability to have children or not is irrelevant to your perfection,’ he stated. ‘I fell in love with you, this changes nothing.’ I thought all the air in the room had left me, he didn’t care, he really didn’t care. Nox pressed a harsh kiss to my mouth, his hands delved into my hair and I was so desperate to become a part of him. His hands dragged down my body and squeezed at the sensitive flesh, bringing me back up to a point of arousal where I was so ready for him.

Without much warning, I suddenly felt him pushing slowly into me, stretching me more than I had ever been stretched in my life. My hand flew to his outrageously large arm, and he slowed.

‘Slower.’ I whispered, feeling him smile smugly against my mouth. He continued to softly kiss me, occasionally pushing his length into me as slowly as he could, but every time he did, I thought I would break. ‘Fuck, you’re big.’ I hadn’t meant to say it, but it was true and it made him laugh a little.

‘It bodes well for me that size impresses you.’ He stated, kissing me again. ‘But I’m afraid, I’m not done yet.’ Was he serious? He couldn’t have been, no one was that big, not a single human in the universe was that big without someone knowing about it. ‘Are you ready?’ He asked and I took a deep breath, nodding. He waited, watching me for a moment until I really was ready, before pushing just a little further than before.

‘Fuck, Alex.’ I groaned, my head thrown back as he attacked my throat, peppering hot kisses up the sensitive skin, gently biting and moaning into my neck.

I could hear him panting harder, his smug smile increased as I realised what I said and it only made me laugh. ‘I told you I’d make you say it.’ He chuckled darkly. ‘Say it again.’ He asked gently.

‘You won’t get it out of me a second time.’ I panted, trying to regain some composure, but he wasn’t going to let that happen.

‘I expect it more than twice.’ He mumbled close to my ear, before pulling out ever so slightly, he thrust back at a slower pace, but it was still incredible, I almost slipped up. I was panting a little harder than I expected myself to, but the way he was filling me, it was warranted. ‘You think control is a challenge for you?’ He whispered, moving his hand down to lift my leg higher around his waist, changing the angle so that I took him just a little deeper, but it was a much better feeling. ‘Quite frankly, this could be humiliating for me.’ That made me laugh, I was the one spread eagled on his bed, promising I wouldn’t say his name, but failing miserably. I suddenly had an idea.

‘In that case,’ I leaned up to kiss him, swiping my tongue over his bottom lip, forcing a groan from his chest. ‘I think you had better make me come again, Alex.’ I made sure to say his name in the most sensual way I could. Lucky for me, it worked.

Alex groaned and stilled for just a moment, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. ‘Rest assured, I’ll make you regret that.’ He kissed me hard and started to thrust slowly and gently, but it was all about the angle, it was all about the slow kissing and the way he cradled my body against his. It was the slow build, the fact that he could drag out moans from places I didn’t know I had, the fact that no one had ever made love to me before and I never even realised until Alex did it.

‘Say it again.’ He panted and I had just about lost all self control.

‘Alex.’ I moaned. He thrust a little deeper than before.

‘Again.’ He commanded more firmly. He was close.

‘Alex, please.’ I begged. ‘Please, make me come, Alex.’

He only picked up the pace marginally before I was suddenly coming hard and fast, shaking around him.

‘Yes.’ I cried, let my back arch and once again tightening the angle for him.

‘Jessica.’ I had never heard his voice take on such a helpless tone before as he came hard inside me.

Eventually we were coming down as slowly as Alex could bring us and I was unable to believe it was really over. For a while we just breathed together, just taking in what we had done together, just absorbing the cooling air around us. I turned to see the view of the glittering lights of the city and realised that the only noise I’d heard since I arrived at Alex’s apartment, was us. It was incredibly peaceful.

‘I hope you don’t mind the interruption,’ he said, breaking my thoughts. ‘But I will need to shower. Would you consider joining me?’ Alex smiled, his eyes were heavy, how could I say no?

Alex was considerate, soothing, kind and gentle. We walked into his huge shower and without hesitation or conversation, he began washing every part of my body, as if committing it to memory. I was tired, my body ached and I couldn’t hold myself straight for much longer, I needed to sleep. Alex carried me back into the bedroom and lay me down carefully in the warm sheets.

‘Goodnight.’ He whispered and the last thing I felt was his warm, strong arms wrapping around my small frame, keeping me safe, keeping me close.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 5

I woke feeling hot and a little sweaty, surrounded by something equally as hot, but soft. I turned a little, just trying to find a new position to find comfort in, but when I did it was to find that I was quite alone in Dr Nox’s bed, I opened my eyes a little more to see that the large window was dimmed, but the sun was fairly high in the sky. What time was it?

I quickly stood up tripping over my black joggers that had been thrown on the floor, I didn’t actually remember taking them off, or taking my hair down, but that was the position I found myself in. My ribs suddenly flared with pain as I lifted myself up, sitting back against the bed and just trying to find my body again.

‘Jessica?’ That low voice found my ears and I slowly turned to see Dr Nox standing, half amused in the doorway, his t-shirt, conveniently missing and his ridiculously muscular torso on show once again. Why did his joggers have to sit so low on his hips? Why were his hips so narrow? And why was he wet?

‘Why are you wet?’ I frowned.

‘I was interrupted during my work out last night, while you were sleeping, I thought I would use the time to finish what I started.’ He grinned. ‘Was there something you wanted from the floor?’

I didn’t feel much like joking when my ribs hurt so much. ‘I tripped over.’ I admitted, but instead of laughing, Nox came around to kneel in front of me and check my ribs for any more damage.

‘They don’t feel broken,’ he concluded. ‘Would you like me to make a more thorough assessment?’

‘I’ll be okay.’ I shook my head and suddenly the image of Nox running his hands down my thighs and pushing his hips into me, flashed across my mind. ‘So, is there a reason I’ve woken up with no trousers on?’

He chuckled and looked away for a moment. ‘You didn’t seem particularly comfortable with them on, so I assisted in solving the problem.’

‘Were you also uncomfortable in your t-shirt?’ I half smiled, still feeling tired.

‘Somewhat.’ He nodded.

‘Equal rights home.’ I chuckled. ‘What time is it?’

‘Approximately ten-thirty.’

‘Can I assume we won’t be going into work this morning then?’

‘No, I sent an email to your phone to inform you of a late start today, you sent me confirmation of receipt and acceptance of the change in time.’ He was so smug.

‘I see. A paper trail.’

‘It would look suspicious if we were to both be absent without explanation.’ Nox nodded. ‘Any other questions?’

‘Yeah, is there any chance you’ve got painkillers lying around? My head is killing me.’

Nox chuckled and stood up and left the room. I tried to lift myself to my feet, knowing I would feel so much better if I could stand up straight for a while.

He seemed to be gone a little longer than I thought he would be, and it just so happened that I caught sight of myself in the mirror on the opposite side of the room. I wandered over to get a closer look at myself. I had no clue what Nox saw in me the night before, my blonde hair was a mess, probably from not tying it properly the day before, my eyes were constantly bloodshot, my face was about as plain as they came, nothing special, nothing unique, just all soft and boring.

I listened carefully and couldn’t hear Nox moving around beyond the door, so I decided to quickly lift my t-shirt and get a look at the fading bruise on my ribs and hip. The bone around my hip seemed to be the worst for actual bruising, my ribs looked much better, so most of the soreness would just be residual and where they were healing over.

I put gentle pressure around the ribs, just to see where it was worst and decided another couple of weeks and I would be back to normal. I lowered my shirt, just in time to see Nox entering the room with a small smile on his face, carrying a glass of water and a white pill bottle.

‘APHR?’ I teased, making him laugh.

‘I think in your condition, it would be unwise.’ He handed me the water and opened the bottle for me, they looked exactly like what he said they were, standard issue painkillers.

‘Why do you keep everything in blank pill bottles?’

‘I enjoy the aesthetic.’ He shrugged. I rolled my eyes in response as I downed the pills and a mouthful of water. ‘Your disapproval of my lifestyle is rather amusing.’

‘It’s not disapproval, believe me, I’d rather someone I liked lived like this than someone I didn’t,’ I reasoned. ‘I just think it’s not what I expected.’ I took another mouthful of water. ‘So, where’s this gym I keep taking you away from?’

Nox chuckled and gestured for me to follow him. His muscles looked even better without the barrier of clothing, they barely worked while he was walking, but they did bulge out in the right way. He opened the door that I never saw behind the previous night, and it was a whole other room dedicated to his work, not just a gym, but his research. One half of the room had various gym equipment and the other was almost a portable lab with a few things still burning, while beakers and test tubes lay everywhere.

‘I thought you didn’t like taking your work home with you?’

‘I don’t, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.’

I could understand that, I wandered over to see what weights he was lifting and it was a ridiculous amount even for his size, but impressive all the same.

‘I can’t help but notice that you haven’t used my name.’ I turned to see him leaning against his small desk opposite the bench press machine where I was looking at various things.

‘I don’t think I’ve had cause to just yet.’ I shrugged.

‘Is that so?’ Nox raised his eyebrow. ‘So, last night was no reason for you to say it?’

I let myself smile an easy smile. ‘Maybe you’ll just have to do better next time.’ I teased, remembering how hot the kiss had been the night previous.

Hardly wasting a single second, he stood up and approached me, carefully taking the glass from my hand placing it down. His towering height just seemed to overwhelm my small figure.

‘The first time I had you in my bed and you choose to mock my talents.’ He growled, playfully.

‘I thought you liked a challenge.’ I wanted to play this game. ‘And what do you mean “the first”? You act like you’re lucky enough to get another-‘ Before I could finish the sentence, his mouth was attacking mine, his hands below my thighs lifting me up to wrap around his waist, I could feel the warmth of his skin against mine as he gently moved us to sit on top of one of his weight lifting benches. He never stopped kissing me, his teeth dragging moans and whimpers from me the likes of which even I didn’t know I was capable of.

Suddenly his hands drifted up my legs caressing and massaging the flesh where it was softest. I felt my back arch, feeling the pleasure of his touches surging through me. My head lolled backwards and his mouth was immediately on my throat, licking, kissing and gently nibbling all of it to see what I responded to best, before repeating the movement and forcing another moan from my chest.

His hair was incredibly soft as I began raking my fingers through it, a little damp from where he’d been sweating, but the rest was soft and silky, his skin was so warm under mine and I wanted to press my lips to it.

I let my hands drift down his back just feeling where each of his muscles joined with the others and through my exploration, I found that it was a point of arousal for Nox. In fact, I could feel him between my legs and his size startled me somewhat.

‘Jessica.’ He growled into the sensitive spot just below my ear. ‘Say my name.’ It wasn’t an order, it was gentle nudge in the direction he wanted me to go and I chuckled coming back to reality.

‘Sorry, Nox.’ I whispered close to his ear, making him shiver. ‘Better luck next time.’ I was well aware that my stuttered breathing, my flushed skin and pretty much everything about my body was going against what I said, but I liked the game we were playing and I liked that he laughed with me, knowing that all I really wanted was for him to continue kissing me.

‘Next time.’ He murmured and pulled back to look at me, his eyes were incredibly dark. I felt his hand come up to stroke my cheek softly. ‘I have thought far too many times about you being in my bed, about your body in my hands, your voice close to my ear, whispering my name. I will make you say it, Jessica.’ It wasn’t a threat, I knew that, it was a promise, a beautiful warning of what was to come. ‘I will make you say it over and over again.’ Nox placed a soft kiss, his hand delving into my hair, coaxing a smaller moan from me, but a moan, nonetheless. I loved the feeling of hands dragging though my hair and for some reason when he did it, it was exhilarating.

‘That’s a big promise.’ My voice cracked slightly.

‘It is.’ He smiled against my mouth. ‘But I feel sure I can live up to expectation.’

I couldn’t help but laugh with him.

So, this was what Dr Nox looked like when he was happy, he was playful and teasing and forward, but he was also kind and considerate, even gentle and soft at times.

He made coffee and breakfast and made sure I was happy and without pain in my ribs, he asked about my meeting and if there was anything more he could do in a professional capacity as well as a personal one. In truth, there was nothing more to be done, I needed to work through my issues on my own and try to find a way of living with them.

He walked me home a little early before heading into work, I imagined he would pretend to have decided to go in early and would tell me on arrival, which he did and I just continued my day as usual.

In the back of my mind, I could still feel his hands on me, I could feel his body wrapped around mine as I slept and I could feel the low hum of approval while he kissed me. My stomach started to drop through the floor. He was my boss and by all accounts a dangerous man and there I was kissing him, teasing him and giving into whatever desires he had, like some kind of groupie.

I rolled my eyes and tried to finish organising a new delivery of things he needed for his next experiment, but it was difficult when I thought about how cliché I had become when I tried so hard not to be. I decided to go and see Natalie, who was still recovering from an electrical injury, and her father, who was working on some kind of forcefield technology a couple of floors below us, before heading home for the evening.

‘Jessica!’ The young engineer cheered as I walked in, she was so full of energy all the time, it was dizzying. ‘It is so good to see you!’

‘Alright, Nat?’ I smiled. ‘How’s your injury?’

‘Much better, merci. And yours? My father said you were hurt last week.’

‘Oh, it’s fine.’ I waved my hand indicating it was nothing and ignoring the slight ache that came from that exact area. ‘I just came to see how you both were doing. I’m just about to head home.’

Natalie smiled and looked over at her father who was sitting, barely even noticing that anyone had entered his lab at all. It was so unlike Dr Nox’s lab, it was filled with circuit boards and pipes, small devices whizzing and spinning on table tops and counters, plans and maps all in disarray over the walls. Nox would throw a fit, and possibly a few beakers, if I let his lab get into this condition, but the mess seemed to be exactly what Dr Paquette needed to work well.

I wandered over, startling him slightly.

‘Jessica, how are you?’ He said, immediately taking his goggles off and smiling at me in his fatherly way. ‘How’s Dr Nox?’

‘Fine, he doesn’t need anything,’ I quickly said, settling any questions about that. ‘I just came to see how you both were getting on.’ I watched him put his glasses on and peer at me over the top of them, he didn’t believe that was all I was there for and he was right. ‘I just needed to spend some time with friends.’ I admitted.

‘Then time, you shall have.’ Dr Paquette nodded warmly. ‘Natalie, would you put some tea on?’

‘Of course, Papa.’ The young engineer bounded off to see about some tea and Dr Paquette brought a stool over for me to sit on while he explained his new invention. We both knew I had no idea what he was really saying, but it didn’t matter, it was the company I needed more than anything and company he was so willing to give.

I spent the remainder of the evening with the Paquettes and took all the time I needed to enjoy myself without the intense gaze of Dr Nox hanging over me.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 2

The meeting was hard, but Nox made it easier by reminding me to leave a little earlier that day, he was keen for me to recover in whatever way I needed to and I appreciated that. It was his way of showing he cared.

Everyone introduced themselves and I was assured that there was no pressure to talk at all if I didn’t feel I was ready to. I told them I was a medic and I was honourably discharged, but that was all I felt I wanted to say at that point. The group was understanding and didn’t push me for anymore. In fact, no one pushed anyone to say anything, all information was offered freely and on the speaker’s own terms.

I enjoyed the community feel of the group, everyone supporting one another, no one judging each other’s stories or feelings and I felt like this was a safe place for me to talk about things that were on my mind.

Once it was over, I began the long walk home, thinking on what I wanted to say to them next week, I wanted to talk about the incident that led to my discharge, but it was difficult to put out into the open like that.

What I hadn’t counted on that night was how late the group concluded, it wasn’t exactly the safest neighbourhood that I lived in, and I was taught just how dangerous it could be when a gang of young thugs darted out from an alley. They wanted my money and any valuables I had on me, like that was going to happen. I defended myself as much as I could, but ultimately, they had the numbers advantage and there was nothing more I could do.

I sat leaning against a nearby building, tasting the blood in my mouth and feeling my body ache from the repetitive kicking they felt was necessary once they had me pinned down to the ground. I didn’t have much cash on me so they didn’t get away with much, but I would need to think about taking precautions when leaving the meetings from then on.

Nox was furious when I arrived the next day, I went straight for the medical kit to check the cuts on my face and to grab some painkillers for my ribs. I didn’t think anything of the small injuries I had until Dr Nox appeared at the door to the small cupboard.

‘What happened?’ He asked immediately. His fists were clenched and his eyes bore into me, I had seen that look before, only a few times at the beginning of my employment when I had let people into his lab unannounced. He shouted and he threw beakers against the wall, stating that his experiment had been ruined. I never let anyone in after that, no matter who they were.

‘I was mugged.’ I said and grabbed a new set of bandages along with a syringe and head back out for my desk to fix myself up a little better than before.

‘You were attacked?’ Dr Nox said, slowly to himself. I stopped and watched him for a moment. This was a new side of the scientist that I’d never seen before, a rage I’d always heard about but never actually witnessed. ‘After your meeting?’

‘Yeah.’ I said, a little quieter than I intended.

‘Why did you not call for help when you needed it?’ Nox turned and began to slowly approach me. Was he actually angry at me? It’s not like I walked out with a big sign that said “mug me”.

‘There was no point, I barely had anything on me,’ I reasoned, anything to calm him down. ‘Besides, who am I supposed to call?’

‘I would not have hesitated in assisting you.’ He snapped. Suddenly Dr Nox did something I wasn’t even aware he was capable of, he blushed. An actual blush? Are you kidding me? ‘What I mean is, our discussion yesterday should have been clearer on my part. I do not want to look for a new assistant for any reason, especially not because my current one is treated in such a way by inferior creatures.’

I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to say. I just stared at him for a moment or two and blinked. ‘Okay.’ I said, nodding. What else should I have said at a time like this? He was clearly about to have a violent turn and some of his experiments may have suffered, the best thing I’d always found to do was stay quiet and allow him to vent for a while.

‘Allow me to assist you.’ It didn’t seem like a request, more like an order. He wanted to help me with my injuries.

‘You aren’t a medical doctor.’

‘I can follow instructions.’ He countered. It didn’t seem like I had much of a choice.

‘Fine.’ I sighed and began removing some of the cleaning equipment.

‘Not here,’ Nox interrupted. ‘In my lab, it’s more sterile.’ Well, I supposed that made sense, no point in risking infection.

We silently gathered everything and moved to his lab, Nox gestured for me to hop up onto one of the counters which was surprisingly clear. He was a tall man and probably wanted to make sure he could reach me properly. I had a harsh scrape on my neck which I had managed to bandage over the night before, but it would need a thorough cleaning.

‘What is the first step?’ Dr Nox approached me, his fists still clenched by his sides, but they looked a little looser, he may well have been calming down.

‘My neck, it just needs cleaning and the bandage reapplying.’ I said and prepared an antiseptic wipe for him to use. ‘It still stings, so just go gently.’ I swallowed as he took the wipe and focused on the task in front of him. I knew it was going to hurt, it was one of those scrapes that just hurt like hell, despite not actually being a deep or severe wound.

Nox carefully used one hand to peel away the bandage, his fingers were surprisingly soft and delicate with me, like I was a breakable thing he needed to look after. I swallowed again and watched as his gaze was fixated on my throat, I felt entirely exposed, but at no point did I feel like I was in danger.

The second the wipe touched the skin, pain flared throughout my neck and up into my face, making my eyes water. My hands flew up to hold his wrists, not that it seemed to stop him or even slow his already careful movements.

‘Take a deep breath.’ He said and I did just that, breathing as deeply as I could, shutting my eyes tightly and trying to focus on anything else that wasn’t the stinging sensation on my neck for a while. ‘I believe the wound is now clean.’

‘Okay.’ I stuttered, trying to hold back the tears. ‘Just reapply the bandage.’

‘I would rather prepare a cleaner one, to prevent infection.’ Dr Nox didn’t even wait for me to agree or say anything before he grabbed a fresh bandage to cover the scrape. He gently placed it against my neck and I breathed through the pain as much as I could.

‘Thank you.’ I whispered and felt his eyes snap up to see my watery ones. It took him a moment to speak.

‘What is next?’

‘I need to check my cheek for swelling from a possible fracture,’ I said, taking a slightly deeper breath. ‘And then I need to deal with the bruising on my ribs and hip. You don’t need to do anything else if you’re not comfortable.’

‘My comfort should not come into question.’ Nox snapped and took his own calming breath. ‘I will try to use as little pressure as possible.’ He concluded and suddenly his hands were on my face, gently feeling the bruised area with surprising delicacy. I couldn’t help but watch his pale eyes as he focussed on his task, every so often they would darken and I wondered what he was thinking. Again, I never felt uncomfortable or unsafe. ‘I believe your initial assessment is correct, you may have a hairline fracture in your cheekbone.’

‘Okay.’ I breathed and his eyes connected with mine.

‘Would you like me to check your other injuries?’ He asked in a much softer tone.

‘I just need to see how bad it is.’ I shrugged.

‘I am perfectly capable of making that assessment for you.’ It didn’t feel like an order, in fact, it felt as though he was asking permission.

I nodded and Dr Nox gestured for me to lie down, he even retrieved his black hoodie from the office to put beneath my head so that I would be more comfortable.

‘Would you lift your t-shirt?’

I pulled the hem of my t-shirt up and watched as his eyes scanned over my ribs, once again they darkened slightly and I wondered if he was in fact enjoying that I was in pain and now damaged. I knew he was a strange individual, but I never thought for a second that he was as bad as that, had I really gotten it so wrong?

‘The bruising extends lower than your belt,’ he said. ‘And higher than your t-shirt. Are you in pain?’

‘Yes.’ I breathed, before clearing my throat and trying to find my courage. ‘I was going to take some painkillers.’

‘That would ease the pain, but your injury would still be present.’ Dr Nox moved so that he was closer to my face. ‘I have something that will help the muscle repair faster and ease the pain if you’re interested?’

‘What is it?’ I frowned, unsure.

‘An ointment I concocted myself.’ He left my sight, presumably to retrieve the ointment he was talking about and I wondered why he would even want to help me so much. ‘It will not hurt when applied and should allow you to continue your day with relative ease.’

He handed me the bottle so that I could check the ingredients, not that I really knew what I was looking for, but nothing seemed to jump out at me as toxic or poisonous and I handed it back to him, nodding.

Dr Nox disappeared once again to grab a bowl and cloth, he rolled the sleeves of his lab coat up and submerged the cloth into the bowl. He took a little of the ointment and poured it into the water, using his hand to mix it together and soak the cloth.

‘Try to relax and breathe deeply.’ He said and wrung the cloth out a little. It was warm, his touch was as delicate as it could be as he began to gently wipe over the bruised area. I just closed my eyes and breathed as slowly and deeply as I could. I felt a warm and fuzzy sensation beginning to seep into my body and it made me a little tired. ‘Jessica, sleeping will not do any good. You need to stay awake for it to really sink in… open your eyes.’

I suddenly did exactly that and sucked in a deep breath, trying to wake myself up.

‘I believe I have finished.’ Dr Nox took the bowl away cleared everything up, while I continued to lie down and regain my breathing. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I think so.’ I felt my throat dry up as Dr Nox helped me sit up. He handed me a glass of water knowingly and it was the first smile I’d gotten from him since arriving that morning. ‘Thanks.’ I sipped the cool water and my throat felt immediately better.

‘I’m afraid a dry throat and drowsiness is a side effect of the treatment. You will return to normal in a few hours.’ He assured me. ‘Take your time, you may find dizziness an additional side effect to begin with.’

He wasn’t wrong, the second my head moved to look at him, I lost my balance, forcing him to jump into action and hold me steady. I felt his hands on my shoulders as he tried to get a good look at me.

‘Perhaps you should stay here for a while until the effects begin to lessen.’

‘Yeah, I don’t think I’m going anywhere for a while.’ I took a few deep breaths and allowed Dr Nox to help me back into a lying down position.

I spent the next hour or so just watching Nox in his lab, finally getting a real glimpse into what he did when I was in the other room working. Mostly he was writing down equations and checking his stocks, I wondered if he was gearing up for a new idea.

I finally felt well enough to get back to work and continue with my day, feeling so much better than I would have done without his help. I made sure to thank him before I finished for the day.

‘No thanks necessary,’ Dr Nox held his hand up, grabbing his black hoodie and winding everything down for the day. ‘Though I wonder if you might permit me a small indulgence?’

‘An indulgence?’ I teased, feeling like my old self again and making him smile as well. ‘What is it?’

‘Would you allow me to take you home?’ He asked. ‘I understand that you may well be able to defend yourself in the day hours, but it would make me feel more assured if I could see you home myself.’

I folded my arms and tilted my head to one side, letting him know I wasn’t happy about his request. He shoved his hands in his pockets and let his gaze drop to the floor, he almost looked like a moody teenager being told off.

‘And what if someone sees you?’ I asked, letting my smile be known to him. ‘What if someone walks up to you and asks for an autograph from the famous Apex Legend Nox?’

‘No one has ever done so thus far, I doubt they would approach me in any circumstance. I’m also not a Legend, just a part time friendly competitor.’ There was the sinister playfulness he had sometimes when we joked about his sadistic side, it reminded me that he took a little pleasure from injuries and that he was not to be trusted entirely.

‘Maybe you’re right.’ I nodded and gestured for him to follow me out. ‘What if they think we’re together?’ I feigned shock, making him let out a huge belly laugh, like I had never seen before.

‘I believe the odds are more favourable for someone asking for an autograph than believing you would entertain yourself with me.’ He held the door open for me and gestured for me to go first.

‘Oh give over! Give yourself some credit once in a while, you’ve got groupies just like the rest of them.’ I said, swiping my access card to let myself into the lift.

‘Groupies? Yes, but none that have any appeal to me.’

‘Of course they don’t appeal to you, they’re groupies.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘No one ever wants the person who throws themselves at you, you always go for the one who’s hard to get, who has some mysterious secret or hidden past.’

‘Or the one who tolerates, even accepts everything about you for what it is.’

I looked up at Nox who was grinning down at me and let out a half laugh. ‘Tolerance shouldn’t be a precursor to love or lust or whatever it is people want these days.’

‘No? What should it be?’ Curiosity was an old look on him, one that always spelled out long nights and hard days.

‘Passion.’ I said, as if the answer was obvious, which to me, it was. ‘Passion and joy.’

‘Passion and joy.’ He said to himself as if testing the words. I watched him go into his internal world and walked back to my dingy flat on the edge of town in almost silence, the only noise being his small noises of confirmation as he reached one conclusion or another in his head.

It was nice, only a few people stopped and stared, but Dr Nox didn’t seem to notice a single thing, his head was down as he followed his feet leading towards my building.

‘I don’t like interrupting you,’ I said, quietly, seeing a small flash of anger in his eyes before he looked at me and his expression softened. ‘But this is me.’

‘You live here?’

‘Yeah, now you know why I got mugged.’ I tried to joke, but it seemed it wasn’t a joking matter.

‘I disapprove.’

‘Well, there’s a surprise.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Thanks for walking me home. Do you feel better for it?’

It took him a moment to answer. ‘No… but thank you for indulging me for a while.’

‘Anytime.’ I snorted. ‘Did you get some good thinking done?’

‘I have more questions than what I started with… so, yes, I believe I did.’ He smiled. ‘I will see you tomorrow, Jessica. Please try to rest tonight.’

‘I will.’ I smiled back and nodded.

Dr Nox looked awkward for a moment before turning around and heading back the way we had come. I could not stop thinking about the fact that he actually said please, I’d never heard him say such a thing before.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 9

I tried really hard, I honestly did, but even after four days of thinking about what to say, I just didn’t have the words to express what I was feeling, no one seemed to be particularly upset or even disappointed, but I was. Toni was kind enough and tried to coax something out of me, but all I could say was that I didn’t like the Apex Games, nothing else followed, it was just that and once again no one seemed terribly disappointed.

The meeting was over, I wrapped myself up and braced for going out into the cold night air, thinking on all the reasons I felt my mind was starting to unravel in the most unexpected of ways.

I finally arrived at Alex’s apartment to see a note pinned to the door. ‘I wanted it to be a surprise, but please don’t be alarmed. A.’ My face pulled up into a smile as I stepped through the door of his expansive home. At first, I couldn’t see him, and I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I moved cautiously through the hallway and heard the sounds of the shower running.

A part of me was scared, so much so that I opened the door as slowly as I could. I felt my heart both slow and then speed up. Alex was in the shower, washing his beaten up and bruised body. I felt the relief wash over me and let out a deep breath, closing my eyes for just a moment and trying to regain a steady breath.

‘How was your meeting?’ Alex’s voice penetrated my ears and my eyes flew open to see him staring at me from under the water.

‘Fine.’ My voice cracked, why was I suddenly sweating?

‘Jessica?’ Alex frowned. Why wasn’t I happier to see him?

I suddenly felt him standing in front of me, wrapping a towel around his thick waist. It looked like he could have had some broken or at least cracked ribs, his whole chest was purple and red with cuts and scrapes everywhere I looked.

‘Look at you.’ I half laughed, realising that I was in fact crying. ‘God, just look at you. Are you alright?’

‘I am fine.’

I looked up at his pale eyes, they were bloodshot and heavy, when was the last time he slept? His lip was cut, he had swelling all over his face, but somehow through it all, he was still incredibly handsome.

‘Not you’re not, you’re hurt.’ I sniffed. ‘Why didn’t you get seen to before you came home?’

Alex smiled gently. ‘Because I missed you.’ He said. ‘I got the first flight back to see you. I… enjoyed the thought of you assessing my injuries for yourself.’ It was difficult to tell, but I could have sworn he was blushing.

I took a stuttered breath and smiled, still half laughing to myself. ‘I missed you too.’

Alex stepped just a little closer to me. ‘I feel we are both in need of a little attention tonight. Shower with me? I think you’ll feel better for it.’

‘You just want me naked.’ I tried to joke, still wiping away my tears.

‘A welcome side effect.’ Alex chuckled. ‘But I do think you’ll feel better for it.’

He was right, he was always right, I always felt better for showering with him. Alex helped me get out of my clothes and folded them neatly to one side, I hesitated before taking my shirt off, unsure of why, but it had been a while since I was naked in front of him. He didn’t push me for anything, he just waited patiently, cold water still dripping down from his dark hair into his stubble which I was delighted to see he was growing, however inadvertently.

Finally, I stepped into the shower and felt the warm water trickling down my body, how did he always know a shower would help me calm down? I could feel Alex watching me for a moment, before he stepped in behind me and absorbed the feeling for himself. I couldn’t help but smile and gently bite down on my bottom lip. Alex just chuckled and reached over for his perfectly white bottle and squeezed just a small amount of green liquid onto his hands.

‘I am glad to find you have been staying here as I requested.’ He said, gesturing for me to turn around. ‘It put my mind at ease when I thought of the peace and quiet you would have had here.’

‘Well, it has been very quiet.’ I nodded and braced myself for the moment his hands touched my hips, there was something so gloriously soft about his movements, slow and gentle, never pushing for anything more than the knowledge that when he was done, I would be clean.

‘You’ve been worried.’ Alex concluded from my sentence. ‘Would you like to tell me what has worried you?’ His hands were working in a circular motion over all the parts of me that ached. He started at my hips, drifting just a little down my thighs before moving upwards to my stomach, my ribs, my back…

‘I’ve just been generally worried.’ I lazily laughed. ‘Worried about work, worried about my meetings, worried about you. I always worry, it doesn’t leave much room for peace in my mind.’

‘I see.’ Alex kissed the side of my head and breathed me in for a moment, moving his strong hands over my shoulders. My whole body felt warm and a tingling sensation was running through me, relaxing me.

‘That wasn’t body wash, was it?’

I felt him chuckle and kiss softly down my face, wrapping his arms around my waist. ‘It was a muscle relaxant, one I use after every match to allow myself the best chance to heal quickly. I thought you might find it useful as well.’

‘Well,’ I chuckled. ‘I do feel relaxed.’ I slid my hand up into his hair that was still a little shorter than usual and let myself lean back into him, just absorbing the way he felt for a moment or two.

Suddenly my eyes flew open and I turned around to see his startled expression.

‘I’m so sorry, you’re hurt and here I am just rambling about how lonely I’ve been.’ I shook my head out of the daze I was in and went to assess his body, when Alex suddenly kissed me harshly.

‘Jessica, I am often lonely, but when I am alone with you, it is a loneliness I crave more than anything.’ He panted, softly placing another kiss to my lips, sliding his hands around my waist. ‘Do not think that I would not want you to tell me when you are feeling something similar, it does not matter to me what state my body is in, I will always want to listen to you.’

I took a moment to let him finish kissing me, but I could feel he was struggling to keep himself standing upright. ‘It matters to me.’ I whispered and suddenly he stopped. ‘It matters to me what state you’re in. I want you to feel like you have all the value in the world to me, because you do. Let me help you?’

Alex just watched me with his darkened eyes and nodded, never taking his eyes off of me. I reached for the same bottle he used on me and to my delight he smiled.

‘You may need to use a little more.’ He suggested gently.

‘I know, but you’ve got a lot more body than me so I’m afraid this will take a while.’ I leaned up to place a delicate kiss to his lips and felt him deflate a little into me. ‘Stay still for me, I might even say your name.’ I felt him smile against my mouth as my hands, now covered in the same green liquid found his waist.

I gently massaged the muscles, being careful around his ribs, but allowing myself to become mesmerised by his bulging abs, he was probably in the best shape of his life, built to perfection like some kind of God. His eyes were closed as I continued to explore his body, running my hands over his obscenely broad chest, his strong jaw, placing a soft kiss to his parted lips, before reaching for the bottle and squeezing some more liquid onto my hands. I went back to the worst bruising on his ribs and soon found myself descending to his hips, his hands rested against the wall either side of me as he absorbed the feeling of my hands running over his body.

His hips seemed sore and tender, so I gave them as much attention as I could, making sure to hit the spots that were the most sensitive to him. I wanted to run my hands over his cock, but without being too sure of the effect the mix of muscle relaxant and his own hardness would have, I opted for something I knew he would enjoy so much more.

I continued to gently massage his hips whilst subtly trying to descend onto my knees, it worked and his focus was still in front of him where I no longer was. I watched him for a moment or two, he was about as relaxed as I think I had ever seen him before. As slowly as I could, I kissed the very tip of his cock and listened to his deep groan of surprise and pleasure, his knees were weak and suddenly he had to hold himself up a little more.

‘Jessica.’ He groaned.

I just continued my worship of his thighs and ran my mouth over his cock the way I knew he liked. Alex just continued to groan and pant, his fingers gently stroking through my hair as he gave into the movements, I could feel his hips very subtly thrusting into my mouth, but never forcefully or more than I wanted from him.

‘As much as I would like continue,’ he said, breathlessly. ‘I’m afraid some of my injuries may worsen as a result.’

I smiled and drew my mouth up and over the tip of his cock, smiling up at him.

‘Then we should probably do something about it.’ I said, feeling a lot better about myself.

Alex’s eyes were dark, but they were still bloodshot and I knew he wouldn’t be able to continue without getting hurt, so I stood up and placed a soft kiss to his lips.

‘Come on, let’s get you into bed.’ I said, making him sigh into a chuckle.

Alex did as I asked and the second he was lying down, it was clear that was what he needed more than anything, to just rest for a while.

‘I still think you should have gotten seen to before you left.’ I shook my head, trying to bandage up a nasty cut on his arm that was at risk of getting infected. ‘These injuries would heal so much quicker if you did.’

I heard him chuckle to himself. ‘I agree.’

‘If you agreed, you would’ve gone and done it.’ I was now getting a little irritated with his nonchalant attitude towards his health.

‘If I had, I would not have come home to see how sexy you look taking care of me.’ He shot back, smugly. He made a note of how much he liked my hair up in a loose bun and my look of concentration, I ended up just shaking my head and getting on with looking at his ribs, which thankfully were only cracked.

‘I’m not dignifying that with a response.’ I said simply and got up to clear away some of the equipment I was using. I took it all to the bathroom, deciding I was too tired to actually clean any of it at that moment and it would still be there in the morning. I re-entered the bedroom to find Alex sitting up, staring at the door with a small smile on his face. ‘What are you smiling at now?’ I was almost exasperated and sat down next to him to start looking at the bruising on his cheek.

‘I know you won’t ask, but I want you to know,’ Alex paused for a moment. ‘We finished ninth.’

‘Ninth?!’ I repeated, feeling my face break out into a smile. ‘That’s fantastic!’

‘It is and I believe it was because my mind was settled, and I had not had the chance to increase my strength as much as I normally would.’ Alex analysed. ‘Perhaps your suggestion of decreasing muscle size and increasing stamina should not have been so lightly overlooked.’

‘I do have good ideas sometimes.’ I gently pressed on the flesh below his eye, watching him flinch slightly. ‘You’re going to have one hell of a black eye in the morning, but it’s nothing too serious. You’ll be fine.’

‘Thank you.’ Alex said, sincerely.

‘You’re welcome.’ I couldn’t help but smile. ‘And don’t think I didn’t notice you were wearing my wings, by the way, people will start to ask questions.’

‘They already have.’ Alex rolled his eyes. ‘But I find them all incredibly repetitive and laborious.’

‘Of course you do.’ I chuckled. ‘Now move over and lie down properly.’

Alex slowly eased himself to the other side of the bed and I tried to be as delicate as I could resting against his arm.

‘Thank you, Jessica.’ Alex repeated.

‘You’ve already said that.’ I told him, feeling sleep suddenly starting to get the better of me.

‘No, I haven’t.’ He placed a kiss to my forehead. ‘I have not thanked you for allowing me to exist in your life the way that I do. I am more grateful for you than anyone could possibly imagine. I love you.’

I know that I tried to say that I loved him as well, but I wasn’t sure I could speak much once I was relaxed enough to fall asleep.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 8

The next morning I woke feeling warm, but I could hear a voice that was penetrating me through the fog.

‘Jessica, I’m leaving soon.’ Alex.

I opened my eyes and saw the face of someone I barely recognised. Alex had shaved his beard off and cut his hair shorter. It was shaved around the sides and slicked back on top, not entirely undesirable, but when did he do that?

‘Where’s your beard?’ I mumbled, taking in a deep breath and waking up.

‘It’s unnecessary in the Games, no beautiful women to please with it, so I’d rather not take it with me.’ He was teasing me, mocking me even and I wasn’t remotely amused by it. ‘I just wanted to say goodbye and remind you that you will be fine while I’m away.’

‘I know, just go and set yourself a record rank.’ I smiled and reached out to touch the skin on his chest, it was warm and I would miss it.

‘Will you watch it?’

‘No, it’s too loud and too much like the war for me.’ I frowned. ‘I’ll watch the introductions though.’

‘That’s enough for me.’ Alex nodded. ‘I’ve left a key for you on the kitchen counter, I’d like you to stay here while I’m gone, it’s the only thing that will make me not worry about you while I’m out there. Will you please do as I ask, just this once?’

He knew I wouldn’t be happy about it, he always knew that when he asked to protect me he was risking my own rage which he had rarely seen, but he had always been able to calm immediately. I sighed and nodded. ‘Fine, but I’m not happy about it.’

‘I know.’ He smiled. Alex let his thumb stroke my forehead and his fingers rake through my hair, he knew it relaxed me. ‘I am, however, looking forward to our conversation when I get back.’ I suddenly felt my face flush red as the previous night’s antics came rushing back to me. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.’ He said, amused. Alex placed a soft kiss to my lips and took one last look at me. ‘I’ll see you in a few days, stay safe for me.’

‘You too.’ I tried not to panic over the previous conversation and watched him stand up, about to leave. ‘Alex?’ He turned to see me. ‘I love you.’

His whole being deflated with relief. ‘I love you too, Jessica.’ I could see the joy in his eyes through the darkness and nothing made me happier than that.

Overall, I didn’t do too badly, I kept the lab clean and followed the instructions to an absolute tee, I didn’t dare try to do anything else, Alex may not have been too worried, but Dr Nox would probably throw more than beakers across the room.

Natalie was getting excited about the upcoming match and insisted that we all watch the match together considering they knew someone who was competing. I wasn’t sure how to tell them that I only wanted to watch the entrances, but it seemed I didn’t have to. Dr Paquette was always there when I needed him.

The entrances were progressively more extravagant with the more experienced competitors being introduced last. Alex had been paired with a decent enough looking team and he looked happy to be there. Due to his size, he often went with a combative type of look, black cargo trousers and a tight black thermal with a slightly heavy looking body armour, it was more tactical than it was actual armour and he looked good with his hair a little shorter, though I wasn’t so keen on him without his beard.

‘And here we have one of our regular competitors, Nox,’ one of the female commentators said with a little more excitement than I was comfortable with. ‘Weighing in at almost three hundred pounds of pure muscle, he uses his strength and size advantage to tear through smaller teams in quick succession. Anyone else think he’s just a little handsome when he does?’

I rolled my eyes and watched as Alex looked at the camera briefly, winking, probably sending all of his groupies mad with excitement. I noticed a silver chain around his neck and when he turned to face the camera fully, I noticed hanging from the chain were some silver angel wings, the same angel wings I had been given by my superior officer as a gift for all the work I had done during the war. I had told Alex about it one night and the fact that I didn’t like wearing them because it reminded me too much of what I’d lost, he said it reminded him of what he’d gained and I decided he would appreciate them more than me.

I knew Natalie was speaking to me, she was excited about seeing Dr Nox on the TV and I was trying to do the same, but it was getting difficult to distance myself from Alex. The fact that he wore my wings told me that I was constantly on his mind, and I wondered if that was a good idea.

‘Nox! Nox! Over here Nox!’ The same female presenter called, she quickly sorted her tight silver dress out to reveal just a little more of her obscene cleavage as Alex smiled politely and wandered over. She made some face to the camera as a joke, trying to keep it light, but I wasn’t remotely amused and neither, it seemed, was Nox. ‘Nox, just a quick word.’ She was begging in the worst way and suddenly I felt okay again, Alex would hate her just on sight, she was exactly what he didn’t enjoy about women. ‘So, this is your twenty-third game in a row and a little birdy told me the highest you’ve been able to rank so far is fourteenth,’ Alex gave a polite smile, not needing to be reminded of those particular statistics. ‘What are you going to do to beat that this time round?’

I could see a small flash of anger in his pale eyes, he had no interest in answering any of her questions, no matter what they were.

‘I plan to assess the strength of my teammates and use it to our advantage.’ Plain, simple, vague.

The presenter twisted her hair and gave him a wide smile, all an attempt to flirt with Alex, something he was paying little attention to.

‘So, we can all see you spend a lot of time working out in the gym,’ I rolled my eyes, something I caught the whisper of in Alex. ‘How much can you lift?’

‘A considerable amount.’ Alex smiled, politely.

‘And stamina must work in your favour as well then.’ The presenter nudged Alex in a suggestive way, and I saw another flash of anger as he once again smiled politely and half shook his head. ‘Ah, I see, perhaps there is a special someone cheering you on at home? Anyone you’d like to give a shout out to?’

I watched him consider it for a moment, before thinking better of it, thank goodness.

‘No,’ he said, and I felt myself release a breath. ‘I don’t think there’s any need to bring my loved ones into a light they’d rather stay away from.’

‘Well, okay, then.’ Finally, she got the picture! ‘I suppose my chance at scoring tonight is slim, or not?’ Well, that was bold.

Alex visibly rolled his eyes and looked down at the ballsy woman. ‘I have a match to prepare for, but thank you for the interview, it was most informative.’ He wandered away back to his team and I could see his fists were clenched tightly as he did.

‘Wow, that guy is all man, am I right ladies?’ The presenter turned to the camera and the show threw back to the studio where around eight people were sitting discussing the lower ranking competitors. All of them in agreement that Alex appeared to be a dark, brooding man made of shear muscle… well, they weren’t wrong exactly. They quickly moved onto the next ‘exciting’ competitor and commented once again on their appearance and tried to get answers about their personal life.

Natalie was more excited about the tactical discussion and the arena’s structure, her father explaining what some of it was about. It seemed that he had a lot of ideas about how the games could be improved and was something he was openly talking about in his research, I wondered if that was what he was really working on.

I didn’t watch the rest of the Games and the Paquettes didn’t mention any progress Dr Nox had been making during the match, but Natalie was excited about some new technology they were using to improve the quality of the match. I really just wanted it to be over so that I could go back to my normal routine.

Looking after his experiments was a little more difficult the further through I got, I ended up spending a little more time each day in the lab just to make sure I was doing everything right. Staying in his apartment was a different story, whenever I was asked why I was taking a different route home, I would just say that Nox wanted me to look after his plants while he was away. Everyone believed me as well.

I listened to news of the match, occasionally hearing something about teams tearing through others, but I just couldn’t bring myself to watch any of it, not because I didn’t want to see Alex, but because I couldn’t stand the noise, it just made me irritable and annoyed and irrationally angry. I called Toni to talk about it and he wasn’t surprised.

‘It’s just something that comes with PTSD,’ he explained, I could hear him smiling. ‘Something you’ll just have to learn to control over time. You’ll get there, just keep focusing on what you love and enjoy and you’ll soon find a way through.’

‘I suppose you’re right.’ I sighed, staring at a beaker full of yellow liquid that I was supposed to be watching turn blue, but nothing was happening.

‘Look, why don’t you talk about it this week during the meeting? Maybe someone can suggest something you haven’t tried yet?’

He was right, I knew he was, I had yet to say anything to the group since going to the meetings and it wasn’t doing me any good to simply sit and listen without contribution. I would talk about it that week, I made a promise to myself.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 7

My life over the next few months had taken a new direction, by day I was Dr Nox’s assistant, the guardian of the keep, the enforcer of peace in his labs, but by night, I was his… girlfriend? We hadn’t really talked about it in all honesty, we mostly just sat drinking tea, watching television and occasionally I would be left to my own devices while he was in his gym. Part of me wanted go in and watch him, watch the flex of his muscles and probably get turned on doing so, but I thought it may have distracted him too much. He was preparing for an upcoming match after all.

‘I would appreciate it if you could keep an eye on a few things while I am away,’ Dr Nox handed me quite a large list of things he wanted me to do. We decided that while it wasn’t against any rules for us to be in a relationship of any kind, it might not have been the best idea to advertise that fact while Dr Humbert was putting pressure on us. ‘The match could last days, not including travel time, but I have a few experiments already running.’ He went on. I followed him around each of the experiments he was talking about and he tried to slowly and carefully explain the ones he knew I’d have no clue in understanding. I made notes and listened as hard as I could, I didn’t want to mess anything up. ‘Any questions?’

‘More than you could imagine.’ I commented, jotting down the last few things. I looked up to see him grinning. ‘I’m sure I’ll be fine.’

‘I don’t leave for another week so that should give you enough time to practice with me.’ He said and suddenly it made sense why he was giving me a list of things so early on.

‘That’s good, I’ll need to get the hours in.’ I nodded. ‘I think the biological ones will be fine, they’re a little more up my street, but these gas-based ones, I’m struggling with. Can you explain them again?’

‘Would you like me to go slower for you?’ I felt my cheeks flush pink, he was echoing a few nights previous when we had been together and it had been a little much for me. He did that sometimes, when he was in a good mood or had some kind of breakthrough, Alex would shine through.

Dr Nox went over the gaseous experiments again and suggested a little reading from his research notes to help me better understand what he was trying to do, my job would just be maintenance until he returned, but I was getting increasingly anxious about it.

Alex would tell me every night for the next week that it would be fine, that he would be fine, no one actually died during these games, it was a battle royale with characters and one that provided more than enough entertainment for the universe.

‘So, what’s your top finishing position?’ I asked, sipping my tea and settling down on the sofa next to him, he would be leaving the next morning and we decided to have a quiet night together so he could get the rest he needed, he said he always slept better when I was around. ‘There are twenty teams, right?’

‘Indeed. Though the highest I’ve been able to rank is fourteenth, I was on a team with two very experienced competitors, but unfortunately, I made a few mistakes, we could have had a better finish.’ Alex seemed genuinely frustrated by his efforts.

‘Fourteenth is still a good position,’ I tried to encourage him, but I didn’t realistically think it would do anything. ‘Your average is eighteenth, right?’ He nodded, observing me carefully. ‘So, what do you need to do to rank higher?’

‘Well, training always helps to give you a distinct physical advantage.’

‘Okay, trust me, you’ve got the physical.’ I chuckled.

‘Strength, yes, but stamina is where I often fail and mistakes get made.’

‘Stamina is not something I think you have a problem with.’ At least that made him laugh. ‘Okay, so you need to work on your cardio a bit more then, maybe you don’t need as much strength then, maybe trade some of it in for the stamina you need? These matches can last days, even weeks, you can’t afford to skip over things like that.’

‘Perhaps you’re right.’ He smiled, warmly. I could see there was something else on his mind and just rolled my eyes, indicating he should just say whatever he wanted to say. ‘Are you happy with me?’

‘Of course, I am.’ I half laughed, frowning. ‘Do you think I’m not?’

‘I’m not sure some days.’ Honesty, it was all I ever asked for. ‘Sometimes I feel as though you’re still scared and I’m at a loss for what to do to help you. I want you to feel safe here, perhaps one day, you could feel safe enough to stay and we could build something together, but I fear that I may not get that chance while you still hold a fear you won’t talk about.’

I could already feel the tears building in my eyes, he knew me far too well and the reality was, that was what I was afraid of. I put my tea down and watched him for a moment, deciding where best to start.

‘I joined the army when I was fifteen,’ I started slowly. ‘I never had a best friend, or childhood friends I could rely on or even anyone I could trust to any degree. When I joined, they told me I was too small to be a real soldier, but if I learned medical skills, I could be a good medic, so that’s what I did. Those soldiers trusted me to get them out of trouble safely, to make sure they survived and I trusted them to do as I asked, when I asked, but there was something else in those relationships, it was more than a trust. We held each other’s lives in our hands, relied on each other to get ourselves out of bad situations, we were a family. When I could no longer do my job, I started losing their trust, not because they didn’t love me like a sister, but because they could no longer rely on me to keep it together when I needed to.’ I felt myself getting a little emotional just thinking about it. ‘They felt sorry for me and I couldn’t stand it. I was still their Captain and I was still their doctor, but I couldn’t do the things I used to do any more… I guess, I learnt that even your family can reject you when you can’t give them what they need anymore. I never got too attached to anyone when I was in the army. People died, so you couldn’t really… I suppose I’m scared the same thing is going to happen here and I don’t know if I can do it again. I don’t know if I can be rejected like that again.’

Alex sighed and pulled me closer to his chest, softly stroking through my hair and placing small kisses to my forehead.

‘I will not reject you,’ he whispered. ‘Your existence alone is all I need from you, believe me.’ Alex continued to stroke through my hair, relaxing me as I closed my eyes and thought about the time we had shared together. It had been so wonderful to simply be with him, to talk to him, to know that I was safe and that I truly was when he was around.

Without realising it, I’d fallen asleep and Alex carried me to bed, once again as if I weighed nothing at all. I vaguely heard the sounds of him leaving the bedroom to get in a quick work out before finally resting with me. I partially woke up and turned over to kiss him, it made him chuckle.

I let my hand find his muscular arm and gently squeezed it for my own pleasure. I was only half aware of my movements, but he was fully aware and allowed me to do as I pleased.

‘Is it bad that I’m now horny, but too tired to do anything about it?’ I mumbled, he laughed darkly against my mouth, softly kissing me.

‘Not at all.’ He growled. ‘Spread your legs for me.’ I didn’t know I was doing it, but suddenly I could feel his fingers drifting lower below the line of my underwear. ‘Your sensitivity is interesting, considering I’ve done very little so far.’

‘It’s just you.’ I mumbled, still half feeling the pull of sleep. ‘You do that.’ I sighed as he began keeping me just awake with his small, delicate movements.

‘I do this to you?’ He teased and I knew he was smiling, but I couldn’t bring my eyes to open and see him.

‘Yes.’ I sighed as lightly dragged his finger up my centre, I was obscenely wet for him and it only made him hum against my jaw. I suddenly wanted to wake up and have him in every way I knew I couldn’t take him just yet, I bit down on my lip and smiled just thinking about it.

‘What are you thinking about?’ He asked and I once again couldn’t find the will to control what came out of my mouth.

‘I want you to fuck me in every way.’ I sighed and felt his movements stutter for a moment as he regained his breath.

‘In every way?’ He asked, I nodded, feeling his slow circles around my clit remain agonisingly slow. Alex traced his thumb over my lips. ‘Would you like me to fuck you here?’ I brought my tongue out to flick over his thumb and before I knew it, I was sucking it and bringing out small moans from Alex’s throat. His circles sped up as did his breathing. ‘I know you want me to fuck you here.’ He said, sliding a finger inside me, making my back arch. ‘But I wonder about here.’ He continued to let me suck his thumb as his other hand descended lower to where I’d never taken any man before.

Without even knowing it was something I desired, I let out a whimper of desperation and a faint ‘yes’ as Alex pressed a harsh kiss to my mouth. I felt him tracing circles around my arsehole and it seemed to increase my need to come.

‘Please.’ I begged, I needed some kind of release.

‘Perhaps I will explore you properly when I get back.’ He had to have known how much control he had over me and I didn’t even care, I didn’t care for a single second that he could do these things to me, I was just glad it was him. ‘Would you like that, Jessica?’ He asked, somewhat genuinely. ‘Would you like me to bend you over and fuck you like that?’

‘Yes.’ It was a much breathier moan on my part and only had him groaning into my jaw, placing soft kisses and gentle bites.

His hand moved back up and he once again inserted his fingers into me, his thumbs circling my clit the exact way I liked him to. ‘Say my name, Jessica.’ He panted. ‘Say it and come for me.’

‘Fuck, Alex, yes!’ I said, and tightened around him.

‘Good girl.’ He smiled against my neck. ‘Sleep now, you need to rest.’ Alex was still bringing me down slowly as my whole body began slipping towards sleep. ‘I’ll wake you before I leave, my angel.’

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

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Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18+

Chapter 3

The next few days were strange, my relationship with Dr Nox took a turn for what I could only assume was the better. Every morning he would insist on checking my injuries and helping me to do anything I felt needed to be done to help me recover. I just let him do whatever made him feel better, mostly it was to settle him enough to allow him to get some work done, but sometimes if there wasn’t anything to be done, he would get a little frustrated and start the day on the wrong foot.

He seemed to enjoy applying the ointment which he did every second day, with precision and care. It was the one thing I was somewhat less happy for him to do, watching his eyes darken at the sight of my bruises was not something I enjoyed in the slightest.

I’d walked in the morning before my meeting and we went through the same routine, the only downside was that I’d barely slept the night before due to the loud music from the flat below. I’d had an episode and I wasn’t interested in talking about it, but the ointment made me fall asleep, something I thought was incredibly embarrassing when Nox woke me a couple of hours later.

‘The treatment will take a little longer to kick in, but you will be fine.’ He said with a small smile. ‘You didn’t sleep well last night?’

‘No.’ I yawned and sat up, stretching my now healed neck. ‘Loud music from the flat below and parties all over the place.’

Dr Nox shifted for a moment, unsure of himself. ‘Would you like to rest for a while? I don’t have anything important for you today and you have your meeting this evening.’

‘It’s okay, I’ve done more on less sleep.’ I shook my head, moving to get up and head into my office.

‘Jessica, you’re exhausted.’

‘I’m always exhausted.’ I half laughed, but once again, it didn’t seem to be a laughing matter.

‘If you won’t rest, then might I ask you for something else?’

I frowned and once again folded my arms, having some idea of what he might have been about to say.

‘Will you let me pick you up from your meeting?’

‘No.’ I said, immediately. That flash of anger returned and it took a long moment for him to compose himself.

‘Why not?’

‘Because I don’t want you to.’

‘Why?’ He pushed.

‘The simple fact that I don’t want you to, should be enough for you to not ask me that question.’

It was a long time before Nox spoke again, he was having a long and internal debate with himself. ‘Fine.’ He nodded once and I left his lab, listening to the sound of him getting so frustrated he threw beakers and other equipment against his office wall.

I left early without saying goodbye to Dr Nox, assuming he was still angry with me and I went to my meeting. I found it a little easier to listen this week, easier to talk without actually saying much. They noticed and seemed accepting of it, like it was something they’d all done before and come to recognise.

I ended up leaving a little later than I intended and walked out with another veteran medic, Antonio who insisted I called him Toni. He was a tall man with dark, mid length, curled hair and a nasty scar just about visible on his shoulder from a grenade that went off close to where he had been trying to tend to an injured soldier. Toni had an incredibly kind face with dark chocolate eyes that were the complete opposite of Dr Nox. I felt immediately welcomed into his presence and he laughed like it was the only thing he knew how to do.

We walked for a while towards the end of town where we both lived until the fork in the road split us up for the remainder of the journey. It was at that point I heard the familiar sound of the young thugs from the previous week. I pulled my phone out and immediately called Dr Nox, whilst increasing my pace towards my flat.

‘What is it?’ He answered, clearly annoyed that I’d phoned.

‘Look, I know I pissed you off today, but I’m already regretting it,’ I panted. ‘I’m being followed by those same guys.’

‘Where are you?’ He demanded.

‘Just round the corner from my place.’ I looked back to see that they were drunk and laughing, just about to break into a run. I started first and sprinted as hard as I could towards my flat. I could just about hear the sounds of Nox yelling something on the phone, but I was too busy racing towards my building to hear him.

Finally, I made it just in time to see the grumpy man who lived below me leaving the front door, he never looked pleased and it was enough to scare the thugs into stopping, unsure of he was with me or not.

‘Dr Nox?’ I panted, coughing as I tried to get my breath back.

‘Jessica.’ If I didn’t know any better, I would have said he was relieved. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine… I think.’ I leaned against the wall and wiped away the sweat away from my forehead.

‘You think or you know?’

‘Just… just give me a second to catch my breath.’ I snapped, listening to his sigh in disapproval. He said nothing for a moment while I felt my body come back to me. I stood up and began walking up the stairs to my flat. ‘I’m fine.’

‘You don’t sound fine, Jessica.’ Dr Nox said a little softer than before.

‘I am okay.’ I suddenly heard the stuttering in my own voice. ‘Just a bit shaken that’s all.’

Nox sighed again. ‘Would you please allow me to assist you?’

‘I don’t need assistance, I’m fine. I just need to rest.’ I was starting to get frustrated.

‘Jessica please!’ In all the time I had known Dr Nox, he’d never actually been angry with me, never enough to shout anyway. I didn’t exactly know what to say. ‘I apologise,’ he took a breath. ‘I didn’t mean to raise my voice. Please let me help you.’

It was my turn to sigh, but it was more because I was out of breath than anything. ‘I just need to sleep.’ I said, looking up and seeing I still had a few floors to go.

‘Do you really think you’ll be able to sleep in that place?’

‘What do you mean?’ I frowned.

‘I want you to feel safe tonight,’ he explained softly. ‘Please let me bring you to my home so you may get the rest you deserve.’

‘Dr Nox, I don’t think that’s really necessary,’ I heard the sound of the front door to the building opening and closing and it only made me dash up the last few flights of stairs a bit quicker. ‘I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I called.’

‘Jessica, you called me for a reason, if you won’t allow me to bring you to my home, then let me come to yours to make sure you are unharmed.’

I quickly got the door open and I didn’t feel much safer, even after securing the locks, I just didn’t quite feel like I was going to get the rest I needed.

‘Fine.’ I breathed and sat back against the back of my sofa, watching the door for whenever Dr Nox arrived and knocked. He hung up immediately and I suddenly felt incredibly alone.

It felt like the longest time between dropping the phone and the gentlest knock I’d ever heard at my front door. I slowly stood up, making sure to stay as silent as I could before looking through the peephole to see the front of Nox’s grey shirt. I opened the door to find he was in his work out gear, sweaty grey t-shirt beneath his black hoodie and black shorts. His grey trainers looked well worn and I realised that he must have been in the middle of a work out when I phoned.

‘Are you hurt?’ Nox asked, closing the door and securing all the locks while I backed into the back of my sofa.

‘No, I’m fine.’ I said, quietly.

He had a gentle look to him, his pale eyes were softening as his breathing began to even out. ‘You’re shaking.’ He said gently. ‘Sit down.’

I looked down at my hands which were in fact shaking, how did I not notice that? I frowned and just watched them for a moment. I was startled by the fact that Dr Nox’s soft fingers were grazing over my hands, I felt a warmth seeping through me which settled me somewhat, but I still wasn’t sure.

‘Jessica.’ His voice was low and penetrating. I took my hands away and sucked in a deep breath, trying to compose myself.

‘I didn’t mean to interrupt you.’ I said, quietly, leaning on my small table. ‘I shouldn’t have called.’

‘I would rather you interrupt me than once again get hurt by those men.’ Why was he being so kind to me?

‘I appreciate that, thank you.’ What else should I have said?

‘Perhaps a shower would help.’

‘The water’s off until morning.’ I shook my head, the water never worked in the evening hours and I never really cared, it was just something I got used to.

Nox said nothing, but I felt him approach me slowly. ‘Do you have anything to stop the shaking? Or to help you sleep tonight?’

‘I’ll be alright, I just need to rest and let myself drift off.’ I stood up straight and stretched my neck a little.

‘How can you drift off with that racket going on around you?’ He was standing directly behind me and I could feel his body heat radiating off of him. It wasn’t until he said it that I realised there was a lot of noise coming from all around me, I hated it and I hated that it comforted me in a way.

‘It’s not so bad.’ I turned slowly to face him, he wasn’t nearly as close as I thought he was. ‘You get used to it.’

‘I would rather you didn’t.’

I folded my arms and frowned at him. ‘Why are you being so kind to me?’

‘Would you prefer me not to be?’

‘No, I just… I’ve not given you any reason to be like this.’

Dr Nox half laughed, half sighed at me. ‘Do you honestly think I would need a reason to be kind to you? Jessica, you have allowed me to continue my work undisturbed, something I have not had the pleasure of doing since I started my research. I want to thank you in any way I can.’

I tried to figure out what his game was and why he was standing in front of me the way he was, looking gentle and being soft with me.

‘Dr Nox, I don’t need you to thank me-‘

‘Alexander.’ He interrupted. ‘If you feel more comfortable addressing me as Dr Nox, then that is your choice, but my name is Alexander.’

I thought about it for a moment. I’d never called him by his first name before, I never had reason to. ‘Would you like me to use it?’

It looked almost like he was at a loss, did he really not know what to say?

‘Yes.’ He breathed. ‘Very much so.’ He swallowed thickly and I was unsure of what was going through his head. ‘Please stay with me tonight, let me at least feel like I’m helping you.’

I turned away, the shaking reduced a considerable amount since talking with Dr Nox. If it made him feel better, then maybe that was enough to ensure he was happy enough to work the next day.

‘I’m not happy about this,’ I said. ‘But fine. If it’ll make you feel better.’

I turned back to see him trying not to grin, it almost made me lose my own composure.

‘Let me just get some stuff.’

‘Of course.’ He nodded, looking fairly pleased with himself.

I shook my head and wandered into my bedroom to grab a few things I would need for staying the night at Dr Nox’s home. It really only occurred to me at that moment that I didn’t know where he lived, what I actually needed and what he really had planned. I was a little worried, but then again, nothing he had ever done made me feel like I was in any danger, ever.

‘Jessica?’ I heard him at the door to my bedroom and suddenly realised that I hadn’t packed a single thing.

‘Yeah, I’m just coming.’ I said and threw a few clothes into a bag, leaving the safety of my messy and small bedroom.

‘You’re ready?’

‘Yeah, let’s go.’ I said and felt him gently take my duffel bag from me. ‘You don’t need to-‘

‘I want to.’ He smiled, softly. ‘Please indulge me for a while.’

I rolled my eyes and half laughed, again, knowing that this was what he was like when he cared.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 1 year

Text

Caustic: An Origin Story

Caustic/Alexander Nox x Original Female Character

Rating: 18 +

Chapter 1

My name is Captain Jessica Wells and I was his research assistant, nothing more, nothing less. I kept to myself, I did my work and I went home. On rare occasions when he was in a bad mood I would help him bandage up any wounds that he refused to get treatment for, my previous job was as a field doctor and I was very good at it, better when I had a little more than a few seconds to treat anyone’s injuries.

But I was dismissed from the army and sent back home. Honourably discharged at the age of twenty-five. What a state to have been left in. I had no prospects other than in the science field, I couldn’t go back into a warzone, I just couldn’t. They call it PTSD or shell shock sometimes, it means I can’t hear a loud noise like a pop or a bang without immediately reaching for some form of weapon and hiding beneath an armoured truck, only to find that I’ve picked up a random object and have slid into the cupboard beneath the kitchen sink.

Once I got back home, I needed to look for work immediately, but no one was hiring war veterans and certainly not ones that showed the reality of what war actually did to you if you stayed there long enough. I applied for hundreds of jobs and was turned down from all of them, until I saw a small advert looking for a lab assistant with the famous Humbert Labs. It was a huge opportunity and one I was certain I wouldn’t get, but I managed to secure an interview nonetheless and passed through the first stage with suspicious ease.

The second stage was an obscure set of questions asking me about my scientific experience and any personal commitments, of which I had none. I told them I’d just come back from war so friends were significantly lacking and I had yet to discover any worthwhile hobby to occupy myself with. I thought at that point it was a negative on my part, but the next day I received a phone call saying I would be taken to the labs for the final stage.

I met Dr Nox seconds after sitting down in the waiting area, he scanned over the room where there were four other very pretty interviewees, each looking more cosmetic than the last and I rolled my eyes so hard internally that I barely noticed doing it externally. That earned me a look from Dr Nox that I didn’t quite understand just yet, but I would come to recognise it as amused approval.

One by one the other four were taken into the office and each interview seemed shorter than the last with each woman leaving slightly more upset as they went on. I took a deep breath and soon found out why. Dr Nox was a very intrusive man, not so much physically, he kept a significant distance between us, stating that he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable and if I did, then I should let him know immediately.

The interview was long and I couldn’t understand why all those women had left in such a bad way, he was a perfectly reasonable individual, he knew what he wanted, knew what he liked and the position I was applying for was to simply allow him the room to conduct his research away from prying eyes. Perfectly reasonable.

I managed to get the job and according to the other staff in the surrounding labs, I had kept the job a lot longer than any other assistant had managed. Six months didn’t seem like that long, but then it also didn’t feel like it had been a whole six months since I started, time had flown by and yet, I had gotten to know Dr Nox about as well as anyone ever had.

He disliked anyone intruding on his personal labs, the area that I occupied just outside wasn’t so much of a concern for him and I quite liked the solitude from time to time, but beyond the door behind my desk was a strictly no-go zone, it didn’t matter who you were, unless he’d given you express permission and informed me, you weren’t getting in there.

I kept a note of things he felt were important to him, files, plans, ideas and some objects that I partially recognised from one experiment or another and made sure that if they were left out, they were tidied away before I left for the evening.

I learnt to recognise his small gestures and expressions, some of which were easy, like if he was about to get extremely angry or if he just wanted to be left alone, others took me a little while to catch onto, things like amused approval, exhaustion or hunger setting in and one that shocked me more than anything, concern. Dr Nox rarely showed concern for any living things, the only exception was Natalie Paquette a young girl and daughter to one of Nox’s close friends and even then, it was only when she was in the medical wing after a bad electrical shock and he asked me go down and check up on her for him.

At the time, I wondered whether I should have said I was there for Dr Nox, but decided to keep it to myself and make out like I was there of my own accord having gotten a little closer with the young girl. I reported back and watched the subtle shift in his shoulders as the tension released and his curt nod, before quickly getting back to work. Concern.

People would often ask how I managed to survive so long working under the sadistic scientist, but the truth was I loved my job, it was easy, keep Nox happy and I could be happy. I wasn’t in the business of impressing people or higher ups, supervisors or even Nox himself, I think he respected that and that was how I managed to stay in the job for so long.

Of course, over the time I had been working in the labs, I’d had a couple of episodes which hadn’t gone unnoticed by my boss. He was kind enough about it, acknowledging that the war still plagued me somewhat. He wasn’t comfortable with the subject and I really didn’t need him to be, just accepting. However, it was time I did something about it and I wondered how he would take it.

‘Dr Nox,’ I knocked on the door, entering of my own accord as he preferred me to do and only after he’d finished writing a few notes. ‘Sorry to disturb you, but I wondered if I might get a quick word with you at some point today?’

I’d never seen his head move so fast towards me, his pale eyes scanned my whole being, something he regularly did, not because he was checking me out or doing anything inappropriate, but more because he wasn’t sure how to best judge the situation and was taking in his surroundings; again, it was just a thing he did and it never bothered me.

‘Is there something wrong?’ He asked, not moving, but still keeping his gaze fixed with mine.

‘Not with my work, no. I just need to talk to you about a private matter that may affect my work.’ Upfront and honest, exactly what he preferred.

‘If it’s important, I can make time now.’ Dr Nox was always like that, if I wanted to tell him something I deemed important then he would drop everything to listen, I knew he disliked doing it, so I tried to avoid bringing anything to his attention unless it was crucial.

‘It’s not so important for you to stop working,’ I interrupted him and watched him stop tidying a few things away. ‘It can wait until you’ve finished whatever you’re doing, I just want to know that I can talk to you for a minute or two today.’

‘Of course.’ Dr Nox nodded and looked at his watch. ‘I should finish this experiment in forty-five minutes, would that be an adequate time for you to return?’

‘Any time is a good time for me,’ I smiled. ‘I’ll come back when you’re ready.’

The reality was, I was quite nervous to talk to him, Dr Nox wasn’t an overly intrusive man like I had first thought, but he was sometimes a little difficult to handle and hard to talk to about anything that wasn’t related to his work. I didn’t mind, I rarely had anything to say, but when I did, he was awkward and scrambled for the correct things to say. I told him a thousand times that there wasn’t a correct thing to say, just whatever was on his mind was good enough.

I had been on a date the month previous with a man I quite enjoyed spending time with and when I had walked into work with a smile on my face, Dr Nox noticed. He asked questions about the date, things I enjoyed, things I didn’t and then he stopped speaking altogether and stated he didn’t know how to proceed, I’d told him it was fine, we didn’t need to talk about it if it made him uncomfortable, but he didn’t respond and soon we got back to work.

Only thirty minutes had passed when Nox came out of his lab to tell me he had finished.

‘Already?’ I said, a little startled by his sudden appearance, it was almost unheard of for him to come to me with anything.

‘You’re surprised?’ Another thing about Dr Nox, he had a fun side, it was rare to see it, but on occasion he would tease me about one thing or another, nothing major, just friendly banter here and there. ‘Why don’t we head into the office?’ I nodded and went to stand up, shuffling a few things around on my desk. ‘I’ll make some coffee.’

Well, that was new, Dr Nox never made his own coffee, at least, I’d never seen it happen. I quickly finished up and wandered into the office where, sure enough, he was sitting back in his chair reading through something on his tablet and sipping his steaming coffee. I took the seat opposite and noticed a second cup with coffee in it, did he really make another human being a coffee? Me?

‘Apologies.’ He said, putting the tablet down and turning to face me, smiling a little. ‘Black with one sugar, I’m not forgetting, am I?’ That was how I liked my coffee best, I was okay with more or less sugar, even a dash of milk didn’t bother me, but my favourite way to enjoy coffee had always been black with one sugar.

‘I didn’t realise you knew how to make coffee, let alone take orders.’ I teased, making him half laugh. ‘Thank you, you didn’t have to.’

‘No, but you seem nervous, so I presumed it might make you more comfortable.’

I suddenly frowned, stopping myself before I took a sip. ‘Wait, have you put something else in this? Some kind of truth serum? Or… I don’t know, an aphrodisiac.’ At least it made him laugh, I sipped the hot liquid, knowing that he would never have put anything in it without my permission, we’d covered that in week one.

‘I imagine if I had broken one of your rules, you would know immediately and I would suffer severe consequences. Suffice to say, it would be more hassle than I have time for.’

‘Oh really? So that’s the only thing stopping you.’

‘That and you’re psychologically corrupted, so it wouldn’t be a fair experiment, too many variables.’

We both chuckled. This was the banter I enjoyed, acknowledging each other’s faults and mocking them in a gentle way.

‘Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk about,’ I swallowed, noting that Dr Nox took on a slightly more serious expression. I felt his gaze on me and knew that I was the only thing holding his attention, it was just something he did out of respect, I never asked for much, but when I did, he made sure to at least show me the respect of listening, even if there was nothing he could or I wanted him to do about it. ‘I…I haven’t exactly…’ I so rarely felt my courage faltering. ‘This is difficult for me to say, so please forgive my stuttering, I’m not trying to make things awkward for either of us.’

‘Take your time.’ He said, gently and relaxed back into his chair, sipping his coffee and patiently waiting. I couldn’t recall a time when I had seen him this way.

I took a breath and tried to be brave. ‘I haven’t been coping well… since the war…’ I swallowed again. ‘I don’t… I don’t tend to sleep well, I’ve had more episodes at home, but just because I live in quite a noisy building… it’s easier when I’m here, it’s quieter… I went to a doctor and he suggested I go to a group… to talk about the war.’ I swallowed again and shook my head. ‘I’m sorry, I just… I’ve never really had to deal with anything like this for myself before.’

‘Jessica, you don’t need to apologise,’ Dr Nox suddenly said, raising his hand to stop my stuttering. ‘And you do not need to be nervous in approaching me with issues such as these. I’m not a medical doctor, nor can I relate to your personal struggles, but you know that, so there must be another reason you are telling me about this.’

I smiled and half sighed. ‘The group meet once a week and the first meeting is tomorrow, I’ll need to leave early to make it on time.’

Dr Nox took a deep breath and nodded. ‘I’ll allow it.’ He had that cheeky grin, the one that made me forget why I was nervous in the first place.

‘You’ll allow it?’ I shot back playfully. ‘As if you own my time? As if you are going to stop me from simply leaving?’

‘I wouldn’t dream of stopping you from doing anything,’ he chuckled. ‘As previously discussed, it would be more hassle than it’s worth.’

I laughed and just watched him for a moment. ‘Thank you for letting me do this.’

‘You don’t need to thank me, but may I ask you something?’ I nodded and sipped more of my coffee. ‘Do you enjoy working here?’

‘Of course, I do. Why do you ask?’

‘Not everyone has enjoyed their time with me, as you would have noted four months ago from the email from Dr Humbert, I tend to get through assistants quite quickly.’

‘That’s probably because they all tried to shape you into something you’re not, tried to tame you in some way.’

‘And you don’t think you’ve done that as well?’

‘Well, if I have, it wasn’t intentional.’ I suddenly had the feeling we were talking about something else. ‘Dr Nox, I never tried to change you, I just tried to make sure you were happy in your work, left you alone when you wanted peace, made sure you ate when it was clear you weren’t going to take on that responsibility yourself, and you always seemed to work better for it. Have I done something wrong?’

‘No.’ He said, softly. ‘Not a single thing.’ He smiled. ‘I just want to make sure that you are happy here… I would rather not have to look for another assistant and I doubt I could find one with your… personality.’

‘My personality? Well, that’s quite the compliment.’ I smiled.

‘Indeed.’ He nodded and watched me for a moment. ‘You are more than an adequate colleague, Jessica. I would rather not lose you.’

‘Is that your way of saying I’m great at my job and you like me?’

‘It is.’

‘Good, I’d rather not have to leave either.’ I smiled.

‘If there’s anything else you require of me, do not hesitate to ask.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ I stood up grabbing my coffee. ‘Now, come on, enough with the chit chat, back to work.’

Nox laughed and stood up to his towering six foot four height, I somehow never found it especially intimidating. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

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my-head-is-an-animal · 2 years

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Remember who I am is hands down my favorite caustic fanfiction. I will wait for eternity for it to be updated because it’s so damn good 🖤

Ah, I can only apologise. It will get finished, I have big plans for the ending, it's just been a bit of a struggle to get the timelines right and the order that everything happens in. But I WILL finish it!!!!

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my-head-is-an-animal · 2 years

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Say Something

Chapter 5

No matter what the board of directors or anyone else said, they were her Legends, she looked after them, she talked to them, cared for them and their needs, whatever they were, and she knew things about them that no one else could possibly know. She knew the identities of those less willing to reveal themselves and it was not her business to reveal them to anybody.

The Apex Games were incredibly profitable and Clarissa wasn’t stupid, she understood that there was a personable factor to the whole thing, the Legends themselves felt like people everyone knew, well, some of them.

The job had sort of just landed in her lap five years ago when the idea was first being brought into serious hands, a friend of a friend worked with Luc Paquette who was being asked to create the ring and one thing just seemed to lead to another. Clarissa was perfectly aware of what she looked like, people always latched onto her eyes, then her hair and then her body, in the beginning she hated it and then she learned to use it to her advantage.

She had begun her relationship with the Legends slowly, inviting them all for a one to one and trying to gage what they might have needed to remain happy competing, for some it was to feel like they had someone to talk to, others needed a friend and a few just needed to be left alone. Alexander had been one of those.

Clarissa had improvised most of her role over the five and a half years she’d been in the position, she wasn’t sure what she was being asked to do when she started, but soon figured it out. She was the guardian of the keep and the one who stood at the gates between the Legends and the rest of the world. They were her Legends.

She loved hanging out with them and she loved her job. She loved the parties and events she was asked to attend and she loved chatting away in the Paradise Lounge. She loved that her job required a certain amount of elegance and professionalism and loved that she had her own office space to make her own. She loved everything about it.

Clarissa had decided fairly early on in her life that she wanted to have a family, she wanted to get married to a man who loved her in every way, understood her and the needs of her job and more than anything she wanted children, two if she got the choice, she prayed for one boy and one girl.

As she reached her thirties, she was sure that Duncan would consider settling down and ask for her hand in marriage, but once she turned thirty, he seemed to have little interest in showing her any kind of affection or attention.

In the first couple of years of their relationship it had been exciting, he worked in research and marketing for Hammond Robotics and they’d met at a party when the two companies had first tried to merge together and had a bit of a whirlwind romance. They went out to fancy restaurants, flirted subtly in meetings, no one noticed and when they went home, they had the most ferocious sex. Duncan was a man who enjoyed being dominant in the bedroom. In the meetings they had together, Clarissa appeared to be the one who had control over things, but the second the door closed, he would have her pinned to the wall.

Eventually Duncan had become obsessed with the Games and his obsession entered into their relationship, he became violent and dismissive, no longer playing a game with Clarissa, but soon becoming outright cruel. She did her best to understand him, but he wasn’t interested and all she ever felt was lonely and scared. The only solace she had was her job, so she stayed late, she worked harder and agreed to spend more time with the Legends, to get to know them and soon call them friends.

Alexander was one of the only ones who showed appreciation for her as well as a desire to keep her at a distance, she could understand that and only ever asked that she be kept in the loop when it came to the safety of the other Legends. Clarissa knew he appreciated her at least because every time a reporter got close to his true identity, she would send through a list of questions that he may have wanted to prepare for, it was the only time he really spoke to her, to thank her for her consideration.

Clarissa hadn’t thought much on Alexander over the last five years, he never looked at her or made any visits, the only time they spoke face to face was when he was doing press and she was directing him towards another reporter or briefing the Legends on the next match. She’d always admired his grasp of chemistry, having completed a degree in Biochemistry and Bioengineering herself, she felt her appreciation of his work was what would keep him onside. She had been right to an extent.

However, the change in their relationship was one she hadn’t been counting on. After two years of being ignored by a man who claimed to love her, but really hurt her every waking moment, it was nice to feel desired, to feel wanted by someone who by every definition wanted nothing to do with human interaction. As it turned out, Caustic was a bit of a flirt and he was a damn good kisser.

She didn’t want to admit to it, but she felt a thrill every time he was around. Just over two weeks previous in the Paradise Lounge she’d appeared after attending a lunch event and hadn’t had the time to change out of her dark green dress, it was one she liked as it made her feel especially sexy, a feeling she’d needed of late. The one thing she hadn’t counted on was Alexander becoming hypnotised by her legs, she’d had a bath that morning, shaved them and prayed that Duncan wasn’t coming to the event to take advantage of her efforts to feel good about herself.

Alexander thought he was being subtle and for the most part, he was, no one else would have noticed, but Clarissa had been far too used to not being looked at like that, that she noticed. He had scanned her body so quickly she might have missed it if she wasn’t hoping someone would check her out, but his eyes darkened and he swallowed thickly, his thick chest sucking in a deeper breath and she couldn’t help but catch movement in his trousers out of the corner of her eye.

She had gone home that night and thought on the way Alexander had made her feel, whilst doing so little. Duncan had never made her feel that way, even in the beginning when everything was new and exciting.

Clarissa was unsure of exactly what happened after that. Alexander was upfront and honest in his intentions and honestly with the anger she saw in him over the way Duncan had made her cry, she didn’t care anymore, she just wanted to feel good for a change.

In the moment that Alexander had her gently pinned to the wall, Clarissa had felt a rush of arousal, his voice was deep and penetrating, it vibrated in her core, his eyes were dark, but not psychotic and his lips lightly brushing hers was a true test of her limits. What was his deal? And what did he mean about obsession never ending well for him? He was a man of many questions and very few answers, but he’d never been dishonest with her. He made clear his want for her body and never made a move if she said no, he always stopped before they went too far. A part of her wanted to find out what would happen if she didn’t stop him at all, but he always caught her and subtly dragged her into a cupboard or abandoned corridor or stairwell, right before she had a meeting or somewhere to be. He respected her schedule and simply kissed her, gently held her body, never pressing too hard on the bruises left behind from her break up, always being considerate. It was so uncharacteristic as far as Caustic was concerned, Alexander was a different story altogether.

Clarissa watched the Legends jump out of the drop ship and into the first ring from the comfort of the Director’s box, a privilege very few people had, but one Clarissa enjoyed. She liked having a small glass of champagne to celebrate the start of a match, she liked wearing a pretty dress and schmoozing with the sponsors. One thing she disliked was how many of them tried to flirt with her so boldly. She didn’t mind the occasional comment, but she drew the line at the younger sponsors actively trying to make her drink or spend time with them. Lucky she had a good security team to keep an eye on her and make the save.

The match began rapidly and Clarissa wondered if this would be a quick match. She kept her gaze wandering towards Caustic’s camera and watched the way he moved through the bunker, throwing out gas traps and firing through the smoke at Wraith. He did well and finally she was knocked down, but her team soon turned up and he ended up backing out of the bunker and finding safety behind a supply bin for a moment. It was the sharp green of his eyes that she found mesmerising and unable to look away from, that was until Wraith and Bloodhound came out of the bunker firing at anything that moved, luckily Caustic had thrown a few traps out to slow them down a little.

Clarissa found herself needing a little air and stood out in the cooler air as the first day came to an end. The squads had decided to camp out for the night and continue in the morning, the only two squads that moved around during the night hours were any team with Bloodhound and Revenant, both of whom could see through the darkness clearly enough.

Clarissa had gone home, taken a bath and thought about what she needed to do before the Legends returned in a few days.

She had watched the rest of the match from her office where she was making calls and getting the drop ship ready to pick them up and crown the match champion. It was a gruelling sport, but everyone had gotten used to the blood shed by now, it was hardly noteworthy or even shocking to some extent. She kept her eye on Alexander from the privacy of her office and noticed that he complied with her wishes in shouting out a few phrases that got the sponsors on board. In fact, all the Legends stepped up their marketing game and Clarissa was getting phone calls from all sorts of people wanting to pump money into the games.

The one thing that stuck firmly in her mind was the moment they came back, because at that moment only one thing was going to be on Alexander’s mind. Her.

She tried to be prepared, she tried to be honest with him about what she wanted and eventually let her desperation get the better of her. He was a man of many secrets and a professional streak that rivalled her own, he was never going to brag about a one night stand and it really felt like they could both have done with letting some tension go for a while. That was why she agreed. Because she felt wanted by him and the way he kissed her said that his desire was honest. It was the only thing she ever asked of anyone.

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my-head-is-an-animal · 2 years

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Say Something

Chapter 11

Alexander felt a moment where he’d actually wanted to cry, purely at the sight of Clarissa taking control of her pleasure and taking what she needed from him. Her auburn hair framing her creamy skin around her shoulders, her slender body grinding down on top of him, chasing the second orgasm that she now knew she could find. He felt a point of pride that he was the one to show her that it was in fact possible for her, and she had every right to own it.

She was beautiful and Alexander knew that he was terribly in love with her. He was caught between two minds, did he pursue Clarissa and devote everything he had to making her his and making her happy? Or did he leave and try to put it all behind him?

As it happened, he felt unable to focus on either option, instead her head turning towards him as her hand lazily came up to run over his jaw, pulled his attention away from what was going on in his mind and placed it firmly on the woman lying in bed next to him.

‘I’m tired now.’ She half smiled, not quite able to open her eyes.

Alexander chuckled. ‘I would be grateful for the opportunity to rest as well.’ He kissed her forehead and stood up on shaky legs to head towards the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the mirror and thought back on how he’d ended up here. Clarissa Fabian was possibly the one person in the entire universe that had managed to convince him that he was worthy of something more than a one night stand. Alexander found himself still thinking on the way her body wrapped around his, still craved the light touches and natural smiles she shared with him. It was love.

Alexander wandered back into the bedroom to find Clarissa curled up, asleep. She looked cold and he wanted to rectify that. He also wanted to leave her apartment that night and proceed to distract himself with an experiment, anything to avoid thinking on the woman he so richly desired.

Alexander climbed into bed behind her and rested his arm around her body, cradling her against him gently. She responded positively to the movement and Alexander suddenly had no energy to fight what was happening to him. He needed this, just for a little longer.

He held Clarissa all through the night, occasionally waking to find himself nestled into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her, needing it to be a part of him.

She’d woken in the early hours of the morning, still half asleep, but awake enough to kiss him softly. It took Alexander a moment or two to realise what was going on, but the subtle shift of her hips, grinding against his was everything he needed to know to give into her once again.

He kissed her harsher, sliding his tongue into her mouth and listened to the gorgeous sound that erupted from her throat. Alexander wanted to feel her weaken around him, he slid his hand down and pulled her leg up to hook over his hip, opening her up to him. His fingers drifted over her core, feeling the dripping wetness once again.

Alexander groaned into another searing kiss, he allowed his fingers to explore both holes, keeping an eye on how well she responded, how much she needed, where she needed him most. He wrapped his other hand around her shoulders, his hand threading through her thick hair, gently grasping a handful and guiding her head back so he could kiss her neck and better hear the sounds that guided him.

Listening to her soft moans was incredible, everything about the way she moved, reacted, existed was intoxicating. The smell of vanilla, mixed with arousal was more than motivating. He needed her to come, he needed to know that he could do this for her.

Alexander began pumping his fingers inside her warm, welcoming pussy, reaching his thumb around to circle her clit the way she’d shown him, lowering his head to the base of her throat and keeping her floating at the edge of orgasm. He kept her there for what felt like an agonising amount of time, before growling harshly into her neck and pulling the most beautiful sound out of her chest.

Alexander dragged out her orgasm for as long as he could, not letting her come down too fast and finally, he could taste the thin layer of sweat over her chest and neck. He licked over the area he’d been attacking with his mouth, aware that he may have made the area a little sore, but sure he didn’t leave a mark.

He held Clarissa against him for a while longer, neither of them saying a word, just absorbing the silence of the bedroom. It wasn’t the most ideal way to fall asleep, but that’s exactly what Alexander did, having given Clarissa what she needed, he found himself settled and relaxed again.

When he woke again, it was to find the bed empty, it was still warm so Clarissa wasn’t far away, but he couldn’t hear anything. He strained his ears and thought he heard muffled speech from the living room. She didn’t sound panicked, but clearly something had forced her to get up before the sun had risen.

Alexander lifted his aching frame up off the bed and pulled his underwear on, trying to move himself quietly through the hallway towards where Clarissa was standing facing the window in just her black, silk robe. She leaned to one side, making her hips look especially round and delectable. He’d make love to her against the window if he could, no cares for if anyone could see them, in fact, a deeper part of him wanted the world to see him making her come. He shook it out of his mind.

‘Okay… no, I understand.’ Clarissa sighed, hanging up and staring down at her phone for a moment. ‘Did I wake you?’ She asked. Alexander felt like a deer in the headlights, she’d heard him creeping quietly through her apartment.

‘No.’ He said, stepping towards her. ‘You seem distressed.’

Clarissa let out a cynical laugh. ‘Yeah.’ She sighed and allowed her gaze to wander over the still dark city. ‘I have to go into the office today.’

Alexander felt his chest ache lightly, as if he already knew what the next words were and the limbo he was currently in was a paradise in comparison.

‘I don’t know when I’ll be back.’ There was a crack in her voice, one that told him she didn’t want to leave, but was it that she didn’t want to leave, or she didn’t want to leave him? It was ridiculous, of course it wasn’t the latter, why would he get his hopes up like that?

‘I understand.’ There was more than a crack in Alexander’s voice. It was only in that moment that he realised his fists were clenched tightly as he leaned against the wall where her television hung, an effort to stop himself feeling the heartache that was well and truly on its way.

Clarissa turned back to see him, her face in shadow, his presumably in light from the moon.

‘Are you alright?’ She asked, genuine concern lacing her expression.

‘Yes.’ Alexander nodded. ‘Perhaps a shower would allow us both to awaken properly.’

A small smile formed on her face as she leaned back against the glass, fiddling with her phone. ‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t want this weekend to be over.’

Alexander felt a small pool of fear pour into the pit of his stomach. He approached her anyway. ‘I had hoped to end things on our terms.’ He admitted.

Clarissa was examining every part of his face, much like she was doing to his. Every aspect of her features was desirable to him. She was indeed the perfect specimen.

There seemed to be a gap in time, because Alexander didn’t remember initiating a kiss, he certainly didn’t remember lifting Clarissa’s body up and pinning her to the glass, but it was happening regardless. Her body opened up to him so easily, he fiddled with the silk robe between them, trying to get at the soft skin and press it to his own.

Once he felt her warm skin against his own, Alexander groaned into a bruising kiss, no longer caring that he couldn’t stop himself, no longer interested in anything else other than fucking her against the glass window of her apartment.

With all the experience, the exploration, the work Alexander had put into his sexual exploits, he couldn’t escape the feeling that none of it mattered when you felt this strongly about a person. Good sex had nothing on the simple feeling of Clarissa. All of his experience remained null and void in that moment, all he wanted was her.

Alexander moved his hips away just enough to reach around her thighs, that were clinging onto his waist, and shove his briefs out of the way. He heard her groan the second she could feel the tip brushing her pussy, he needed her so desperately.

Alexander pushed himself all the way inside her, Clarissa’s head lolled back, exposing her throat for him to attack with more bruising kisses.

‘Fuck!’ She moaned, that higher pitch telling him everything he was doing, was everything she needed. Alexander began fucking her rough and fast, holding beneath her thighs, keeping her in place against the window and listening to her come closer and closer to orgasm.

He was vaguely aware, somewhere in the back of his mind that he wasn’t wearing a condom and though the risk of pregnancy without one was higher than usual, it would skyrocket if he came inside her.

‘Come for me.’ He growled into her neck, feeling her tighten around his cock. Alexander subtly moved his hand to circle her other hole, forcing her nails to dig into his shoulders as she came hard around him.

He wasn’t far behind and quickly thought of a plan to avoid something she wasn’t prepared for. Alexander pounded into her at a bruising pace before pulling out, feeling the warm liquid spread between their bodies. His kisses ascended her neck and he tenderly caressed her mouth with his.

They panted together for a moment or two before Alexander did the gentlemanly thing, he carried her towards the bathroom, holding her tight against him, kissing her softly and gently pulling her silk robe away from her body as he got them both into the warm shower.

Clarissa hadn’t said anything while they showered together, she was quiet and allowed him to wash her body thoroughly, kissing her soft skin, washing her hair, massaging her muscles and taking so little for himself.

She got out of the shower while he finished up and Alexander was aware of the sound of her hairdryer, she really was leaving.

He quickly finished washing himself, wrapping a towel around his waist, and entered into the bedroom to find Clarissa getting ready in the mirror. She wore a grey dress that clung to her body, but was still presentable for a work meeting with it’s square cut across her chest. Her auburn hair was brushed to one side, revealing her mouth-watering neck and Alexander had half a mind to fuck her again so she couldn’t leave him.

She was carefully applying a small amount of make-up, enough to amplify her features, nothing more.

‘You’re staring at me.’ Clarissa commented. Alexander suddenly realised that he was in fact just standing at the door to her bathroom, watching her get ready for work. She turned to face him and he knew he was doomed. He was in love with her.

‘I-‘ Alexander cleared his throat. ‘I apologise, I should have been more careful…’ It wasn’t like him to not know what to say. ‘I don’t anticipate any repercussions, but taking a pregnancy test might be a worthwhile endeavour.’

‘Yes, I’ve already thought about that.’ She said, a little coldly. ‘Listen, I think it’s best that we maintain a professional relationship, for the sake of the Games.’ There was something in her words that lacked conviction. Alexander could tell she didn’t really want to end things, was it purely sexual gain, or was there something else he was unaware of?

‘That was the prior arrangement.’ Alexander nodded, finally finding it in himself to move towards his clothes.

He began getting dressed while Clarissa finished getting ready, grabbing her jacket, shoes and finding her bag which contained two heavy tablets and another phone, as well as other things that he was mildly curious about. There was a strangeness to her cold attitude, like she was trying to distance herself from him and it pained him more than he could handle.

‘I am moved to wonder something.’ He said, pulling his t-shirt back on and watching her caramel eyes move over his body quickly before planting themselves firmly on his. ‘I previously mentioned our compatibility-‘

‘Don’t.’ She stopped him going any further. ‘Please don’t do this.’

‘Do what?’

‘Suggest we make this a regular thing.’

Alexander sighed and thought for a moment. ‘That suggests you have put thought into the possibility.’

Clarissa smiled helplessly, giving him her full attention. She took a step towards him and inhaled deeply.

‘We both know that this should never have happened,’ she started, it already sounded rehearsed. ‘But it did and now it’s our responsibility to make sure it doesn’t interfere with our work. I’m not going to make excuses like I was in a bad place, we’re adults and no one forced us to do anything. But it can’t happen again.’ Alexander felt his body physically react to her words, praying she wasn’t watching him closely enough. ‘I trust I can count on your professionalism outside of this.’

‘Of course, you can.’ It was almost a snap, he hadn’t meant to say it with such firmness, but that was how it came out. ‘You do not need to worry about professional conduct where I am concerned, but may I put forth my argument for a continued personal relationship?’

She seemed surprised, but at the same time, curious. Clarissa folded her arms, a small frown forming between her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. She nodded and Alexander felt his heart beginning to race, he hadn’t actually thought about how he was going to argue his case without admitting to the growing feelings inside him.

‘You look very beautiful this morning.’ Alexander began. ‘I say this, not for the intention of flattering you or feigning compliment, but as an honest assessment of your physical attributes. My observations to reach that conclusion are simple: you look happy. Statistically speaking, when one is happy, they tend to excel in other areas of their lives. A goal of yours is to have a family and I believe if you are happy… you will achieve your goal.’ Alexander let his gaze drop, he was saying it all wrong and her faint smile that she had been wearing all weekend was fading. ‘I am also… happy. I would like to continue our personal relationship because I feel there are many more positive results to be shared. Of course, I would not force an answer from you, or demand your attention in that capacity, but I will ask that you think on it, or perhaps test my theory for yourself. Give yourself a chance to explore yourself without any constraints or stressful impact on your professional life.’

Clarissa stared up at him and had the same expression as she’d had the day before, the moment she could tell he was keeping something from her, not lying, but not being forthcoming. There was almost a saddened smile that followed and Alexander suddenly felt like he was drowning, like the one thing he truly wanted was slipping from his grasp.

He didn’t know what to do, his instinct was telling him to strip her of her clothes and fuck his feelings into her, make her understand that way, but more than likely, what she wanted was his words.

Alexander opened his mouth, about to say anything that might have made a difference, when she began talking instead.

‘I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to entertain the possibility, Alexander.’ Sadness coating the air around them, but both refusing to acknowledge it. ‘I think it’s best to keep this weekend as the wonderful memory it’s been. Neither of us can afford to be distracted, not for any reason, not right now. I’m sorry.’

Alexander was quiet. He couldn’t understand what was wrong with him, why didn’t he just tell her he loved her? Why didn’t he just admit to everything? Why didn’t he just get on his knees and beg her to stay with him? Why couldn’t he find the answers to any of these questions?

‘Are you going to say something?’ Clarissa asked, another crack in her voice.

Alexander swallowed and thought carefully, the right words just had to come out, they needed to find a way into his mouth so she could hear them and understand why he couldn’t let this go.

‘I’m disappointed.’ He said, unsure if that was quite the right combination he was looking for. ‘But if that is your decision, I will not push for a change of heart… though if it should occur, it would be most welcome.’

Clarissa just watched him and for the first time in a long time, he wanted to be observed, he wanted her to see the things he couldn’t say, to feel them for herself, to bleed them into her. But all she did was nod, pick up her shoes and lead them out of her apartment. She was emailing on her phone whilst also trying to put her shoes on and carry her bag. Alexander sighed, gently holding her bag while she finished getting ready. Somehow he felt if he left things on polite, civil and accommodating terms… well, he didn’t really know what he thought, it just felt like the right thing to do.

‘I’ll see you on Monday then.’ Clarissa said, as the lift descended down the floors of her apartment building.

‘If my presence is required, then yes, you shall.’ Alexander nodded.

The low rising sun streaked though the mirrored glass building, illuminating the blonde highlights in Clarissa’s hair, she turned back to him and smiled. However polite it might have been, it struck his heart painfully.

‘Thank you.’ She said, but honestly, he couldn’t find any words to respond and soon she was stepping into an automated car.

He watched her being driven all the way up the road and out of sight. Alexander had never been heartbroken, never thought himself capable of caring deeply enough for it to really affect him, but Clarissa Fabian had broken his heart and he was certain he would never get over it.

END

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my-head-is-an-animal · 2 years

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Say Something

Chapter 7

Clarissa had been nervous to go back to the event, she hadn’t meant to give in so easily to Alexander, but just the way he was, was so…. warm. He was passionate and tender and groaned so hungrily into her, it made her feel wanted, like her body was desirable and a thing to be treasured for a moment or two. It was all she really wanted from Duncan in the end, just to feel physically desired.

It was a difficult thing to understand, of all the Legends under her guard, why him? He was handsome in a way, intelligent, she felt an understanding on an intellectual level, he did as he was told, gave her almost no problems and he looked good in a suit. Alexander was obviously much more sexually experienced, just the way he spoke about it revealed his level of experience, but his tongue on her, his fingers inside her, all of it made her feel so gloriously warm. He listened to her instructions, obeyed her needs without hesitation and made her come harder than she ever had done with Duncan. Something about him was just so desirable.

She hadn’t heard from him all day while she was working, apart from a small message thanking her for the materials and that was it. Clarissa guessed he’d either changed his mind or felt that the night before was enough for the time being, after all, the only thing he’d expressed was that he wanted to please her and take nothing in return. She suddenly wondered why, what was his game?

Clarissa eventually left the office a little later than she had intended. It was almost ten by the time she arrived at her apartment and she suddenly realised that she hadn’t told Alexander what time he could come over. She hadn’t received a message from him, or a phone call at any point so decided he’d probably found something better to do that night.

She ran a bath and slipped out of her blouse and trousers from the day’s work, finally relaxing knowing she had the weekend free to do whatever she wanted to do. It was usually quiet the first weekend after a match, probably because everyone was trying to finish up the final touches on any deals they wanted to submit first thing Monday morning.

Alexander was worried that his work had distracted him for far too long, when he looked at the time, it had just gone ten and he mentally scolded himself for not keeping note.

[Is now a good time?] He quickly sent the message to Clarissa, knowing that he passed her apartment complex on his way home and prayed she answered him before he passed by.

[Yes. No.3]

That must have been her apartment number, Alexander quickly stopped by a small wine store and picked up some champagne, knowing that she enjoyed it more than wine. As Gibraltar had previously eluded to, she was a very classy woman. Alexander hoped she didn’t think too little of him approaching her apartment in just his black trousers and black t-shirt, he hadn’t planned on making an occasion of it, but then he supposed she hadn’t either.

The building itself was sleek and tall and everything elegant that he expected from her lifestyle. He stepped into the lift and pressed No.3, barely ten minutes after he’d received the message from her and he was already feeling himself getting worked up.

[Door is open. On the phone.]

He received the message just as the elevator stopped and opened to a small hallway where a single door stood in front of him. No.3. Alexander could see the small crack in the door where it had been opened from the inside, he took a breath before slowly opening it and seeing the expanse of Clarissa’s open plan apartment. A clean and tidy home, he expected nothing less. Dark, wooden floors ran throughout the living area and the kitchen, everything had black accents and it had the same feel as her office. The dimmed window stretched the entirety of the apartment and Alexander knew that this was what she preferred, in a way he wondered if there was another factor to consider, the thrill of being seen by someone beyond the apartment and given what the woman herself was wearing, it only reinforced his theory.

Clarissa stood peering out at the city skyline, her hair brushed over to one side and what appeared to be a black, silk, robe that barely stopped just as her thighs began. Alexander’s mouth watered as he wondered what she could possibly have had on underneath, a part of him prayed for nothing.

‘…yes, that’s correct.’ She said, breaking his trancelike state and forcing him to suck in a harsh breath. ‘Okay, if you send me the details, I will take a look at the schedule first thing Monday morning and let you know what he thinks.’ Clarissa wasn’t wearing anything on her feet and a part of him longed to see her in her black heels and the other part just wanted to strip her out of her robe and devour her there and then. She turned a little towards him and Alexander noticed that she was wearing a black lace bra which she quickly covered up after spotting him standing there. ‘Okay, no problem. Thank you for calling, we’ll talk soon.’ She said and finally hung up. ‘Alexander, sorry, I didn’t hear you come in, I was just about to change.’

‘Don’t feel the need on account of my appearance,’ Alexander stepped towards her. ‘Certainly not if this is what you consider casual house wear.’

Clarissa chuckled, looking down at herself awkwardly. ‘I was just about to get in the bath when you messaged me, then these damn athletics sponsors phoned and asked about Silva and I tend to draw the line at having business phone calls whilst naked.’ She folded her arms and crossed her slender legs, watching him. ‘It was the first thing I could reach.’

‘I see.’ He grinned, licking his lips gently. ‘Is there any chance that we will be interrupted tonight?’

‘No.’ She tried not to smile too much.

‘Good.’ Alexander nodded. ‘If you would like to change then that is of course your choice, but it would be a pleasure to have a drink with you as you are.’

That made her laugh and roll her eyes a little. ‘Fine,’ she said, tossing her phone onto the grey fabric sofa that sat opposite a wall with a large television screen on it. ‘If this is what you like, I don’t mind.’

Clarissa let her arms go, revealing her lace bra once again and Alexander almost lost his control as she gently took the champagne from his hand, leading him into the kitchen.

‘Why champagne?’ She asked curiously, her curious smile was incredibly pretty.

‘I am aware you prefer the taste over wine and thought it would help you relax.’

‘What makes you think I’m not relaxed?’ She brought down two champagne glasses while he opened the bottle for her.

‘When I entered, you attempted to cover yourself out of embarrassment,’ Alexander said, coolly, pouring out the liquid into the glasses. ‘I assure you, you have nothing at all to be embarrassed about. Your body is a marvel and I am looking forward to getting to know it much better.’

Clarissa watched him with her caramel eyes and took the glass he was holding out for her with such delicacy. It was as if she couldn’t believe someone would want to spend any time with her body at all. She took a small sip of champagne, but never took her gaze away from his.

‘May I ask about the status of your wrist?’ Alexander decided to change the subject slightly.

‘Oh,’ she seemed surprised. ‘Yeah, it’s fine, still a little sore, but it’s not really red anymore.’

‘I will try to be careful anyway.’ He assured her, making her chuckle. She suddenly looked very pretty in the night light, holding champagne and looking simply divine. ‘You are exceptionally beautiful, Clarissa. I feel it is a great shame that you have not been appreciated in such a way before now.’

She took in a sharp breath and opened her mouth to say something, but no words came to her. Alexander took another sip of his champagne and waited.

‘Do-Do you want a tour or something?’ She chuckled, nervously.

‘I would love one.’ He nodded graciously.

Clarissa guided him towards a corridor just off to the side of the living area, it was all grey walls, with little pieces of artwork hanging up that caught Alexander’s eye every now and then. It was only then that he noticed the lightness of her step, it was closer to a glide and it only spoke volumes of her grace as a woman.

There was a direct line from the living area to her bedroom where the door was open and he could see her bed that looked far too big for just one person.

‘There’s not much to see to be honest.’ She chuckled, opening the first door to the left. ‘Just an office, nothing too noteworthy.’

Alexander wandered inside and saw that it was much cosier than her office at the Apex building, filled with dark shelves and small trinkets from the places she had seen over the years as well as a couple of awards that Alexander didn’t recognise.

‘Oh, it’s nothing special,’ she shook her head as he picked up one that was all glass, engraved with a strange logo and her name sitting prettily below it. ‘It’s a science award from when I was at school, it was for making a little project involving human lungs and an electrical generator.’

‘It sounds very impressive,’ Alexander was genuinely impressed with her intelligence. ‘Perhaps you could elaborate on it for me some time?’

Clarissa chuckled. ‘Let’s not pretend too much. This is a one time thing, there’s no need to treat it as anything else.’

Alexander sighed. ‘No, but I find a lot more than just your body alluring, if I just slept with those I found physically attractive then it would hardly be a worthy pursuit and I would be competing with boys such as Mirage.’

‘Elliot isn’t so bad, you know?’ Clarissa leaned against the door frame and sipped her champagne. Alexander suddenly had the image of her pretty, pink lips wrapping around his cock and his desire rose.

‘I find his constant physical observations of you… demeaning.’

‘Demeaning?’ She frowned. ‘He’s not talking about you, why would you find it-‘

‘You misunderstand.’ Alexander could feel a small amount of frustration towards Mirage rising. ‘I do not think my existence is affected, but the perception of yours.’ Alexander stepped up to Clarissa and carefully slid his hand over her jaw. ‘You are a woman of considerably high standard, one with not just physically attractive qualities, but those of an emotional and intellectual standing that rivals the best of us.’ His thumb began to stroke along her parted lips. ‘You are elegant in every sense of the word. And when I hear him use such juvenile words to describe your appearance, I wonder if we are in fact looking upon the same person. The words he uses are far too small and insignificant to describe your beauty, they do not account for the things that truly matter.’

Clarissa’s caramel eyes were darker and flickering over his mouth, she let a steady breath go and brought herself back into the present.

Alexander didn’t give her a moment to think of anything to say, he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to her lips, just enough to make her lift up for a little more, which he happily obliged.

He gently pinned her to the doorframe, the same pressure he used in her office the first time they were this close, she could easily move away if she wanted, but she didn’t. Alexander pulled away slowly.

‘I believe you were giving me a tour.’ He grinned against her, making her breath a laugh.

Clarissa led him out of her office and towards her bedroom, completely bypassing another door.

‘There’s nothing in there.’ She said, quickly and gently slid her hand over his, turning his attention back to her. ‘Come on, bedroom’s this way.’

He could hardly refuse with a smile like hers. Alexander followed her towards the lamplit bedroom, where the smell of vanilla was penetrating his senses.

‘It’s from my bath, I forgot to drain the water.’ She put her glass down on top of her brown dresser to the side of the room and entered into the bathroom off to one side.

It gave him a moment to look around her bedroom, once again there was a large window that looked out at the night and the city below, her king size bed had pure white sheets that were falling off a little and once again the walls were covered with little piece of artwork. Alexander liked the idea of her waking every morning to see the sun rise with a coffee in one hand and no fear of who might have seen her naked body.

Alexander finished his champagne, placing the glass next to hers and turned to see her leaning against the wall next to her ensuite with a small smile on her face. He couldn’t resist, Alexander held out his hand for her to take and step closer to him.

‘Before I left,’ he said, sliding one hand into her soft hair and the other around her slim waist. ‘You expressed an interest in trying some things, would you care to elaborate?’ He placed a tender, soft kiss to her mouth, moving slowly towards her ear. ‘Or would you rather wait until after I’ve devoured you again?’

Alexander got the reaction he wanted, her whole body responded with complete desire for him to taste her again. He spun her body around so that her back was pressed against him, holding her hips in place and continuing his attack below her ear.

‘Clarissa,’ he breathed. ‘I want to taste you again,’ Alexander felt her hips push back into him. ‘I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you.’ He dragged his teeth delicately down her neck. ‘Tell me how to please you.’ He gave her just a moment to regain some kind of steady breathing, before listening to her find her words.

Clarissa’s hands came to guide his to the front of her robe. ‘Undress me.’ She said. Alexander went to do just that, before she stopped him and turned her head to rest against his jaw. ‘Slowly.’ She drawled and it made his knees buckle slightly, before chuckling to himself. Her confidence was beginning to appear and it was just about the sexiest thing he’d ever seen in his life.

Alexander did as she asked of him and slowly untied the sash keeping her robe together, her hand had come up to encourage his mouth against her neck and he wouldn’t dare refuse. Her robe fell from her shoulders and Alexander didn’t want to resist pressing harsher into her neck, running his hands over her soft, warm skin, her hips fit perfectly against his, her breasts were the perfect size for his hands.

Clarissa groaned out his name and the sound made him grind against her, feeling the crevice between her cheeks and suddenly needing to be a part of her. ‘Keep going.’ She whispered and Alexander had almost forgotten what he was doing. He unhooked her black lace bra and closed his eyes as he slid it from her shoulders, he only opened his eyes once he’d discarded the material on the floor and what a sight it was!

‘Fuck.’ He growled into her shoulder, peering over at her perfect shape. Alexander reached up slowly to hold her breasts in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples and listening to her whimpers as he gently pinched them, twisted them lightly.

Alexander was mesmerised for a few moments, before remembering she still had a lacey, black thong on and it need to be gone. He kissed down her back, something that seemed to be a huge point of arousal. He chuckled darkly, before sliding his fingers underneath her underwear, pulling it down her smooth legs as he kissed the soft flesh, biting gently, just enough to show his appreciation.

He carefully moved back up and once again attacked her neck with his mouth. She held his hand against her hip for balance more than anything.

‘Lie down for me?’ He whispered and she nodded, letting him guide her to the bed, turn her back around and lay back for him. She was a sight to behold. Her auburn hair splayed out around her pretty face and dark caramel eyes, her creamy skin just waiting to be touched, her curvy and full shape a welcoming place for him. ‘Delicious.’ He growled and immediately pulled her legs up. Alexander got down onto his knees, holding her gaze as he kissed down the inside of her thighs, taking the time he couldn’t the night before.

Clarissa wanted to be worshipped and Alexander couldn’t understand why any man would have refused to give her such a simple request, one that he was so willing to fulfil. If she had come to him on day one in her green dress and asked him to worship her body, he would have taken her to bed and never let her leave.

‘Tell me, Clarissa,’ he kissed so close to her core. ‘Tell me you want this.’

‘God yes, Alex!’ She panted, he hadn’t realised that his mouth had been moving so teasingly against her, he was simply doing what felt right, but it seemed she was relishing every second he devoted to her.

Alexander traced his tongue so lightly over her, so much so that it frustrated her a little, making her chuckle. It was the loveliest sound he’d ever heard, Clarissa having fun with him, she deserved the world. He smiled and kissed her gently, before using his fingers to gently spread her folds, revealing what he really wanted. Alexander growled before kissing her clit, softly licking it the way she had taught him to do the night previously, she liked the slow build and now that he had the time, he could make this as slow as he wanted.

It was always just before her body relaxed into the movements that he picked up the pace and took her to the next level of arousal, Clarissa was panting hard and then whimpering and then begging him to give more. He adjusted his hands so that one kept her spread wide for him and the other stroked through her delicate nerves and teased her hole. She wasn’t quite there yet, she needed just a little more desperation to fully appreciate the feeling when he finally filled her, and appreciate it, she did.

‘Fuck, yes, Alex, yes.’ She laughed, fisting the sheets either side of her body. He started to move his fingers inside her, finding the exact right combination of speed and angle once again and when he did, she was entirely under his control, he could have made her wait, could have really made her beg for release, but he decided that this just wasn’t the right time to play with her body in that way.

Clarissa came harder and faster than the previous night and Alexander knew it was because he’d taken the time to properly explore her, to fully appreciate her. He slowly let her come down, making her orgasm last as long as he possibly could, before letting her legs down and her body relax for a moment.

He couldn’t resist the movement of her breasts as she heaved breath into her lungs, Alexander kissed up her stomach and listened to her appreciation of his mouth working over her hardened nipples. He used the same movements as he’d used on her clit and it seemed to do the trick, but this was a little more for him than for her.

He glanced up to see her facial expression and she was just so pretty, he would have tried anything with her, anything she wanted to do, he wanted it as well.

‘Are you ready to tell me what you really want now?’ Alexander chuckled into the bottom of her throat, again making her laugh, but she seemed to show hesitation. ‘Clarissa, you have the most gorgeous body and mind I’ve ever seen,’ he grinned kissing her lips, lightly. He held her gaze, waiting for her reaction. ‘The prettiest pussy, I’ve ever eaten.’ Clarissa groaned heavily and Alexander was glad that just his words could turn her on that much. ‘Tell me what you want, sweetheart, tell me what pleases you.’

‘Strip for me,’ she whispered. ‘Let me see you.’

Alexander kissed her a little harsher, before standing up and lifting his shirt off, he never thought much of himself, but he kept his body in decent enough shape for the Games and that was all he really needed it for. But Clarissa seemed to take much more pleasure in it than he anticipated. She sat up and eagerly pushed herself towards him, raking her hand up through his chest hair and kissing his lightly toned stomach, before unbuckling his belt for him.

Her hands were swift and soon he was kicking his shoes off finally and standing before her in just his uncomfortably tight underwear. He was convinced for a moment that she was about to take him in her mouth and worship his cock with the same precision he’d used with her, but a flash of fear passed over his expression and Alexander stopped everything immediately.

‘I will let not you act with fear,’ he kneeled down in front of her. ‘Tell me something else you want, Clarissa.’

‘I’m not scared.’ She lied and Alexander sighed.

‘I can see that you are,’ he tried to tell her gently and massaged her legs. ‘Was it something he made you do without your consent?’ That was it, that was the trigger, the one thing she feared above everything else. ‘Have I not proven that I would not take anything from you without your permission?’ He asked as gently as he could, sliding his hand up her jaw and stroking his thumb over her pretty cheeks. ‘What else would you like tonight? Only tell me things you enjoy, Clarissa.’

‘I-I like your beard,’ she said, trying hard to focus on something else and he was willing to let her take her time, knowing how wonderful it was to see her enjoying herself. ‘I like feeling it on my neck…’ her eyes flashed up to his. ‘I want to try being on top.’

Alexander groaned into a kiss. Seeing her on top of him, grinding down on his cock, was a fantasy he’d been having for far too long.

‘I would love to see you on top of me.’ Alexander moaned, kissing her as passionately as he could. He felt her smile, before pulling away to grab a condom from her bedside table, the sight of her from behind wasn’t one he’d forget any time soon. He would love to have just nestled in between her legs and watched her bouncing off of his cock. ‘Perhaps we could try this position as well?’ There was a much smaller flash of panic. ‘My god, what did he do to you?’ He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but suddenly he was confronted with a very fearful woman laying in front of him. Alexander crawled on the bed beside her and kissed her forehead. ‘I’m sorry, but the man you were with before me was no man if he’s made you feel this way about something so wonderful.’ Alexander was already painfully hard, but he couldn’t treat this woman like his personal property, not the way she had been treated before, she was worth more than that. ‘We don’t have to continue if I’ve made you uncomfortable.’

Alexander gave her a moment to respond, tracing his fingers over her shoulder and back while she thought. Clarissa turned to face him, smiling a little. ‘I want you.’ She said. She was so incredibly sweet in her request, he couldn’t refuse her.

Alexander kissed her softly and pried the condom away from her, ridding himself of his underwear and chuckling at her expression of shock, he didn’t consider himself the biggest man in the world, but then again, Duncan was inferior in every way so it shouldn’t have been a shock that she would feel this way with a real man. He slipped the condom on and kissed her again, helping her regain her confidence, but it seemed he didn’t need to help that much because she was on him before he could ask her anything else.

Clarissa kissed him with an intensity he hadn’t anticipated, shuffling down his body enough that she could guide him inside her. Alexander felt his entire body ignite, his head fell backwards and his hands held her thighs as lightly as he could so as not to bruise her. The sound of her sighing onto him was one he wouldn’t forget in a long time, it was elegant and beautiful. He opened his eyes to see hers were closed and simply enjoying the feel of him sliding further and further into her.

‘You’re beautiful.’ He whispered and sat up to kiss her once he was all the way inside. ‘Clarissa you’re so beautiful.’ Alexander panted and began kissing down her shoulder and chest again, holding her on top of him for just a moment.

‘Fuck, you feel so good.’ She chuckled and once again, that brave woman was back. ‘Lie back down for me, baby.’ She whispered and it took him a moment, just giving himself the time to adjust to her tight body. ‘That’s it.’ She encouraged him as Alexander lay back down, placing his hands on her hips and just allowing her to grind slowly onto him at first. He watched her face, a few strands of hair in the way of her features, her eyes closed just absorbing the feel of him so deep inside her. ‘Yes.’ She breathed and he could feel her pace quickening. Alexander breathed deeply, just trying to make this last longer for the both of them.

Clarissa leaned back, leaning on his thighs as she grinded her hips onto his. ‘That’s it, keep going.’ Alexander encouraged her to move quicker, even bringing his hand around to tease another orgasm from her. He had a suspicion from her movements that she wasn’t trying to build another climax, instead she was simply enjoying the feeling and Alexander wouldn’t have been surprised if the asshole she called a boyfriend had barely made her come once when they were together. ‘Will you come for me again, sweetheart?’ Alexander begged, he hadn’t meant to beg, it just sort of came out and before she could show any fear over it, he sat up and kissed her harshly. ‘I think you can. Let me help you try, you’re so pretty when you come.’

‘Okay.’ She breathed a little shakily.

‘Keep moving for me.’ Alexander smiled, kissing her again, before leaning back to a better angle for her. Clarissa closed her eyes and just absorbed the feeling of him once again, she was so tight and if he treated her right, she would come again in no time at all. Alexander moved his hand to tease her clit and soon she was building herself up again for him.

Fuck, she was so incredibly pretty, her whole body was bared to him, everything there to be admired and coaxed into only feeling pleasure. It was all he wanted for her in that moment, pure pleasure. She came hard and moaned his name once again, laughing as she did. Alexander had to breathe steadily and chuckled with her.

‘Very, very close.’ He chuckled, making Clarissa look at him in questioning, he sat up properly, wrapping his arms around her body more for support than anything. ‘That is not the first time your pleasure has brought me close to my own and feeling you in this way was… intoxicating to say the least.’

Clarissa smiled and kissed him lazily, she was tired and he didn’t want her to do anymore than she had to, but he wanted her beneath him while he came, he wanted to watch her face as he filled her up.

‘I want you to come for me, Alex.’ She panted against his lips, her delicate, slender fingers raking through his hair, making shivers run down his spine, he never admitted it before, but he loved it when a woman treated him like that, tender and caring whilst also being incredibly sexy and surprising. Clarissa was certainly those things.

‘Gladly.’ He smiled. He gently shifted them so that she was underneath his body and once again a small flash of fear ghosted over her face. ‘Close your eyes.’ Alexander softly said, kissing down her jaw and neck. He brought his hand to stroke over her forehead and into her auburn hair, noting the few strands of blonde. ‘Just relax. Enjoy it.’ He growled and slowly began to move. Fuck, it wasn’t going to take long for him to come. She felt so fucking good. Her body pressed into his, the feel of her breasts against his chest, the smell of vanilla and something that was her filling his senses. ‘God, you’re perfect.’ He growled below her ear and continued to thrust himself into her slowly, trying both to make this last and to judge when he could pick up the pace.

‘Please, Alex, I need more.’ She whispered, her hands digging into his back in the most exhilarating way.

He chuckled darkly and pulled her legs up to wrap around his waist, it changed the angle for both of them and suddenly he was deeper than he believed any man had ever been. He moved so that he could see her face, she still had her eyes closed and he continued to cradle her head as gently as he could, but everything was becoming a struggle for him.

Alexander panted and groaned with every increasing thrust and soon he was kissing her hard whilst he came deep inside her, pulling away only at the end to let out a groan in the form of her name.

Her legs were shaking and secretly he was pleased with himself, but then again, his own body wasn’t much better. He needed a moment to centre himself before as gently as he could, he rolled off of her.

Alexander breathed deeply, just trying to regain some of his composure and when he turned to see if Clarissa was okay, it was to see the single most beautiful woman in the world, smiling. She was smiling, smiling because of what they had done together and Alexander couldn’t care for a moment that it actually meant something more than a one night stand to him, he couldn’t care that he knew exactly what was going on in his head, he could only care about her and that smile.

Her caramel eyes opened finally and she turned to him, her smile widening as she began to laugh more than before.

‘I am not used to women laughing at me after spending the night with me.’ Alexander propped himself up on his elbow, his leg naturally pulling up so that he almost looked like he was modelling. ‘What’s so funny?’

Clarissa tried to calm down for a moment. ‘I just had sex with Caustic.’ She laughed.

He couldn’t help but join in a little, he supposed it was a little funny in a way. Caustic was a part of him, a character yes, but one that came from real life experiences and there he was, caring for a woman who deserved the world.

‘I suppose I see the humour.’ He nodded and began to stand up and head towards the bathroom to clean up.

Her bathroom was just the same as the rest of the apartment all white with black accents and a large free-standing tub that looked like it could comfortably fit two people. Suddenly, he couldn’t think of a single reason why he should have left her that night. Maybe he didn’t have to, maybe he could end things on a positive note and stay the rest of the night with her, if she would allow it of course.

Alexander wandered back into the bedroom and saw her eyes were closed as she faced the window, her creamy skin was still a little flushed and the red of her wrist was suddenly so much more visible. He mentally scolded himself for not taking it into consideration, he was just so focussed on her pleasure, he forgot about any pain she may have felt.

He crawled in behind her, placing soft kisses against her shoulder and reached around to lightly soothe her wrist. ‘I apologise for forgetting about your injury. Do you still feel pain there?’

‘No.’ She breathed, clearly fighting off sleep. ‘It’s just a little sore, it’s not painful.’

‘Well, I apologise regardless.’ Alexander kissed the side of her head. ‘Would you like me to stay here tonight?’

She smiled again, even through her tired expression, she breathed. ‘Yes.’

That was it, Alexander would stay the night, he would hold her and he would try very hard not to think on all the reasons why he shouldn’t have taken a little affection for himself. She wasn’t the only person who had been touch starved for far too long.

Chapter link

#caustic #apex legends caustic #caustic x ofc #alexander nox x ofc #caustic x reader #apex caustic

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