#alexander lightwood bane: one

[darkangel1791]

MALEC

is

Matthew Daddario as Alec Lightwood

Harry Shum Jr as Magnus Bane

Crazy Chemistry

and

All of their fans, 50% of which only watched Shadowhunters for them

[thelostgirl21]

I think one of the reasons why I absolutely adore Magnus and Alec's first time together is because, as Magnus once said, Alec is just so... innocent.

I know that fans are often equating him sort of pouncing on Magnus to passionately kiss him (as soon as he learned they had the apartment to themselves), and later eagerly pushing him towards the bedroom while starting to unbutton his shirt, as him being anything but "innocent".

But, to me, having the confidence to express his desires, going after what he wants, and taking charge of a situation - even one filled with some unknowns - is not something indicating a lack of innocence on Alec's part.

Part of it likely comes from his own temperament. Like Izzy said, he has a tendency to overthink things.

He can make brash and impulsive decisions, at times, in an effort to quickly fix issues causing him a great deal of emotional distress, true. But otherwise, he usually tries to look at a situation through as many angles as he can, collect data from a number of different sources, ask for other people's input, etc., before reaching a conclusion.

Once he does commit to a given course of action, however, he fully commits!

Not blindly (i.e. the feedback he receives from his environment will make him change course if he notices something's wrong and he's no longer sure that he's doing the right thing), but with an impressive amount of drive, willpower, and determination.

What makes him such a formidable leader, IMHO, is that he's got the strength of his convictions, while said convictions remain flexible and adaptable in light of any newly acquired information.

Whenever he realizes he's made a mistake, he's able to own it, figure out / explain why he made that mistake, learn from it, and work on solutions to prevent making those same mistakes again.

And it is a really, really good thing. Because, driven as he is, if he was remotely dogmatic in his beliefs or unable to cope with the idea of being wrong, he'd truly be dangerous - crushing anything and anyone in his path to reach his objectives.

But the point is that Alec is someone that typically tries to measure the potential impact of his actions before he reaches a decision.

And, since all of his concerns have been dealt with before - during the "overthinking phase" - there's often no longer any need for him to hesitate or hold back while acting on it.

In this very instance, it was rather clear that becoming sexually intimate with Magnus was something that he'd had the chance to think long and hard (no pun intended) about.

Since - given he'd already been with approximately 17 000 lovers before - the likeliness of Magnus being comfortable having sex with him was rather high.

From Alec's P.O.V., I'm guessing that the only one "reasonably holding them back" from being sexually intimate with each other, technically, was Alec himself.

I have a feeling that he already knew that, deep down, he felt ready to have sex with Magnus when he went to ask Izzy for advice.

He just needed to be sure that his lack of experience wasn't making him overlook any important variables before fully "going for it".

For example: Is there anything that Izzy wished she'd have known before she had sex for the first time that she didn't? Anything specific he should be made aware of? Anything he (or Magnus) could regret?

And she basically lets him know that - since Magnus and him genuinely care about each other - it's going to be fine.

If the thought of having sex with Magnus is something that Alec wants, if it makes him happy, then the best thing for him to do is to stop worrying!

She's making it rather clear that her own experience with sexual intimacy is - thankfully - not something she regrets, and there's no reason why Alec might regret it, either.

If it is something that he does yearn for, and since he's with someone that genuinely cares about his well-being and safety, then the only thing that might ruin this for Alec is Alec himself worrying about what could go wrong.

So, Alec pouncing on Magnus - going right after what he wants and what makes him happy with pure abandon once he's sure of his decision - to me, is extremely typical of the way Alec behaves in general.

But, most importantly, I see it as a sign of complete trust in his partner.

He's comfortable enough initiating the physical intimacy and openly expressing what he wants, regardless of his own inexperience, because he trusts Magnus to guide him through the process.

As it turns out, however, Alec had overlooked some variables - namely Magnus' own fears and insecurities. And this is where Alec displays traits that really show how innocent he is, too.

He sees Magnus as someone that loves him unconditionally, and that couldn't possibly seek to hurt or take advantage of him.

Alec is in love with him, he feels loved by him, and he's got no tangible awareness, apparently, that there is a significant power imbalance between them that Magnus (thankfully) remains very aware and respectfully mindful of.

I say "thankfully", because the fact that Magnus worries about taking advantage of any situation with Alec is a good sign that Alec's trust in him isn't being misplaced.

I believe that Magnus is fully aware that, his whole life, Alec has been conditioned to meet the expectations of those he loves and depends on to feel safe.

And, while they eventually did see the errors of their ways, his parents did use how they expressed or withheld love and approval towards their children as motivational tools to get them to act certain ways, and make certain choices.

Alec was even willing to go as far as marry Lydia because he felt responsible for fixing his parent's mistakes and restoring his family's honor.

He has a tendency to readily sacrifice his own wants and needs for those he loves - to put himself second.

And Magnus knows that he's always been very honest with him regarding his past sex life history.

From appreciative "name dropping" (Michelangelo was "excellent in bed", Casanova was "brazen"...) to him having been with "men, women, seelies, warlocks, vampires... a djin or two" (about 17 000 of them!), he's made it rather clear that sex is something he enjoys indulging in every now and then.

So, it wouldn't be far fetched for Magnus to worry that Alec would have interpreted his openness about sex in general as being something that he would absolutely need to have in a relationship in order to continue being interested in his partner.

It makes sense that Magnus would be concerned that he may have unwittingly offered Alec the impression that, if he took too long before being able to "give him what he needs" to be happy or feel fulfilled in their relationship, then he might decide that being with a 20-something inexperienced virgin Shadowhunter wasn't worth it, and/or go seek "his pleasure" elsewhere.

I mean, from what I understand, Magnus himself has often been made to feel like what he had to offer was either too much, or not enough, too. He even apologetically told Alec in the beginning of their relationship "I know I'm a lot to get used to".

So, his own ability to clearly express where he stands and what he wants or needs - and have his partner understand it - has been something that he's been made to feel very insecure about.

And the last thing he wishes to do, I believe, is hurt Alec or take advantage of him; to have Alec feel like he should be sexually active with him based on any wrongly interpreted signal that Magnus might have been unwittingly sending him simply by being open and honest about his past.

And if you do force yourself to have sex with someone without truly wanting it - for fear that you might be losing them if you don't - there's a very high likeliness of your own body responding to the sexual act as some form of aggression.

Sadly, once your brain starts making associations between the feeling that some of your personal boundaries having been violated and the person you were with when that feeling occurred, you may instinctively start withdrawing from them and be uncomfortable being generally intimate with them.

So, Magnus being instinctively cautious, and refusing to immediately take Alec's eagerness to be sexually intimate with him at face value makes sense and is extremely reassuring in its own way.

Alec also display some measure of innocence in the way he responds to Magnus attempt at slowing him down, too.

It goes from this sort of still somewhat eager open confusion where he's just verbally clarifying what he wants (Okay... I thought pouncing on your significant other once you've made sure the way is clear might convey "I want us to sleep together! Let's do this! I'm ready!"... Did I miss something? Damnit, Izzy, I swear if I learn there's some sort of mating ritual you're supposed to go through first, and you never thought to tell me, I'll be so pissed!)...

...to extremely focused on Magnus when he starts expressing his own concerns with Alec's wish for them to become sexually intimate together so soon into the relationship.

Alec's not just listening to his words, but appears to be actively looking for clues in Magnus' gaze and in his behavior to help him figure out what's happening, and what he might have been missing in all of his prior "overthinking".

While Alec doesn't seem to fully "get it" (apparently totally unaware that having sex with someone before you are fully ready might put a strain on a relationship, and/or just how easy it would be for someone to take advantage of the way Alec is so openly offering himself to them), he does appear to get that Magnus is scared that he is making the decision to please him, rather than because he truly wants to.

So, to me, having Alec clearly tell him "You have nothing to worry about, I want this", right before confidently pushing Magnus towards the bedroom while starting to unbutton his shirt, doesn't translate as a lack of innocence on his part, either.

I see it more as Alec's way of reassuring Magnus that he is genuinely ready for them to be sexually intimate together. It's him trying to make Magnus feel that he's doing this for himself, first and foremost.

It's Alec wordlessly saying "I may be inexperienced, but I don't see why being inexperienced should make me apprehensive about being sexually intimate with you. I trust you, I believe I'm making the right choice for myself, and I need you to trust me, too."

Alec's innocence also shines through in the way he initiates making love with Magnus like someone that's never been hurt in love before.

In the way he doesn't seem to have any specific expectations besides sharing something that's supposedly wonderful and fun with Magnus.

His guards are completely down, and he's just this happy, giggling, fumbling mess feeling his way around and trying to figure out the steps as he goes...

When Magnus teasingly remarks "that was graceful" (referring to how they both lost their balance several times while making their way to the bed - trying to remove pieces of clothing at the same time - to finally clumsily topple together on top of said bed), Alec gets in on the humor by happily replying "Shadowhunter" while gesturing to himself, then passionately dives right back in all the kissing and groping.

It doesn't seem to occur to him - not even for a second - that some sexual partners have a tendency to take sex very "seriously", and are unable to keep their concentration when the other person is constantly giggling and laughing or even *gasp* joking.

He's not acting like he's scared of messing anything up by not knowing what he's doing, either.

He's not worried about the possibility of Magnus gossiping about having slept with a Shadowhunter, while mocking his lack of experience or "technique" with fellow Warlocks.

There isn't the slightest notion in his mind that any of this could be about Magnus' wishing to add a Shadowhunter on his already impressive list of "sexual conquests".

Until Magnus interrupts them again, there's not a single tiny bit of concern being expressed by Alec about his ability to "offer a good sexual performance", and/or "living up to his partner's expectations", either.

He's just this happy, carefree, loving partner having the time of his life, exploring something new and wonderful in his relationship with the man he loves - something that he never believed he could ever have for himself - and staying in the moment.

He's (rightly) assuming that, because Magnus saw him when it seemed no one else did, told him that being "different" was a good thing, has since been able to set up clear boundaries with him and hold him accountable in the relationship without targeting his ego, and has never tried to make him feel like he's not "good enough" for him, there's no reason why Magnus should expect him to offer anything other than himself.

There's no use for Alec to attempt to pretend he's this amazing lover when he's never been in the position of being a lover before, and Magnus has clearly told him that "he doesn't care how many people he hasn't been with" already.

Magnus makes Alec feel safe, unconditionally loved, supported, and gives him confidence.

Generally speaking, in virtually any context, he uses his own power and experience to empower Alec and help him reach his own potential, rather than seek to dominate him and make him feel small.

He's someone that Alec feels comfortable being emotionally and physically "naked" with.

I remember that the first time I heard and watched the way Alec proudly answered "Shadowhunter" - then immediately grabbed Magnus to kiss him some more (barely giving him any time to process the comment) - I was just totally overwhelmed with "feels"!

Alec is just so blissfully happy and adorably confident and way too pure for this world in this moment! And it's such a delight to watch Magnus positively respond to him and savor those moments with him.

Being innocent, in a sexual context, is not something that I personally see as turning 3 shades of red and starting to giggle nervously because someone said the word "penis" out loud, or freezing at the thought of seeing or touching a bit of skin.

I mean, seeing how comfortable Jace was with Alec walking in on him while he was in the middle of foreplay with a member of his "book club", I'm guessing that it's not the first time something like that has happened between them.

Alec himself appeared to be more irritated with Jace's blatant lack of shame or sense of interpersonal boundaries, rather than traumatized over what he saw was about to happen.

And then, there's Isabelle that, if I remembered correctly, complained about how she was constantly talking to Alec about her love/sex life, while he kept everything to himself.

So, there's no question that Alec knows what sex is, and likely sees sexual activity as something natural that is nothing to be ashamed of.

Being in his early twenties, you would sort of expect him to be surrounded by openly sexually active people and understand what's usually "going on" in a bedroom, not to mention having been given plenty of time to explore his own body.

Thus, what makes him innocent, in the context of a romantic and sexual relationship, to me, really is how he approaches lovemaking with such an open and trusting heart, while laughing, stumbling, trying to connect with his partner and focusing on them being happy together without any hint of concern or fear of being hurt in the process.

And Magnus offers Alec a safe space to be himself and fully enjoy the moment they are sharing by letting Alec set the pace and following his lead. He's stumbling, giggling, and allowing himself to be blissfully happy right alongside him, approaching the whole experience as something new and exciting.

And it is. Each partner you share a bed with is unique, and you will need to find your own shared rhythm with them.

Magnus, however, could easily have ignored all of this and spontaneously taken the role of "the experienced mentor" that will teach the "newbie" everything he knows about sex, including the "best, most pleasurable way to do it"! But he didn't.

And if you're laughing at the statement I just gave, you'd be surprised with how many partners I've had, in my teenage and adult years, that approached sex as some sort of competitive sport, boasting at their own skills and experience, and immediately tried to "take you under their wing" to "teach you all of their trade secrets" as soon as they learned that they were the most experienced out of the two.

Thankfully, my very first experience was with a guy one year younger than myself, that had only had one sexual partner before me, and who was just the sweetest, most attentive partner any virgin could have asked for.

He made the whole experience be about me being comfortable with what was happening and about us being and figuring things out together; and that was exactly what I needed at the time. He never made me feel like there was any rush for us to get anywhere specific together.

Sadly, not everyone is as fortunate. Some experienced partners appear to care way more about showcasing their skills and being praised for "giving you a good time", rather than achieving any sense of partnership.

I really believe, however, that the most experienced partner's role should always be to put themselves at the least experienced partner's level at first, so that they can then build something together from there.

Perhaps the least experienced one will be delighted to have the most experienced partner "show off" what they can do and teach them new things!

But the point simply is that it should be a choice they make, and not something that's being imposed on them from the get go on the assumption that "my job is to show you a good time and teach you stuff".

Immediately taking charge without first confirming that this is something the other wants or needs is the best way to damage the least experienced partner's confidence, make them feel like what they have to offer you with their current level of skills and knowledge isn't enough, and make them become overly fearful of taking initiative and just experimenting with different things in the bedroom.

And this is true whether the person you are with is someone you care about, love, and wish to develop a relationship with, or someone you just met at a bar and may never see again in your life.

Even if the goal of the sexual encounter isn't to build a more in depth relationship, the moment you are spending together is an intimate act where you are supposed to be partners. It's a moment where you need to make sure that you both (or all, should you be more than two) get something out of it, and feel like you are contributing to what's happening.

I have friends involved in BDSM - some of them enjoying the occasional company of a complete stranger as they feel it adds something exciting to the experience.

Anyone with a healthy approach to BDSM would tell you how important it is for any dominant/submissive dynamic to be consensual and include limits that all partners have discussed and agreed upon.

There's nothing wrong with the more experienced partner taking the lead in any sexual context, but they always need to make sure that this is what the other(s) want. Trust and communication are key - including paying attention to the non-verbal.

Thankfully, in this context Magnus handles Alec's innocence and inexperience absolutely beautifully, and is more than willing to make the moment about Alec and about the two of them.

Actually, Magnus is so skilled at matching Alec's own rhythm and sharing the experience with him, that he instinctively finds himself letting his own barriers down.

Apparently, Alec makes love with such an open heart and soul - hiding no part of himself in the process - that Magnus can't maintain his own glamour to hide any part of himself from Alec, either.

And, just like that, the power dynamic is changed!

In the Shadow World, Shadowhunters consider themselves the superior race since they share blood with the angels.

They are warriors of light imbued with Heavenly powers that proudly display their runes for anyone (except Mundanes, obviously) to see!

But the Downworlders - that share blood with demons - are taught to hide their "shameful demonic heritage" and are expected to constantly fight against their "demonic nature" that makes them "naturally more prone" to violence, decadence, evil actions, and so forth.

Warlocks may be the most powerful species of the Shadow World, they also are the literal children of demons - hybrids that can't even have their own children and who are carrying a physical mark that reflects their demonic parentage.

Some Shadowhunters apparently used to take those marks as trophies (it's pretty clear that Circle members still do), and it seems to be one of the ways that Shadowhunters sometimes use to confirm the identity of a warlock.

Later, we also learn that Magnus has been vulnerable to Asmodeus' influence as a child because he was the only other person he'd ever met with "eyes like his".

Magnus' eyes are tied to a lot of shame, early rejection (including his mother killing herself and abandoning him, when he was nine, when she finally realized what her son's cat eyes meant), and overall bad memories.

I think that the only times, until then, that we'd seen Magnus with his glamour down on the show was when he was trying to drive people away / intimidate them / remind them of how powerful and potentially dangerous he (or a spell he is performing) is.

It's when he wants people to remember that he's also "part monster", that they would do well not to get on his bad side, or make sure that someone requiring his services understands the type of forces they are dealing with.

Jocelyn Fairchild knocking at his door to get Clary's memories removed, those Circle members in the club, the one Magnus was fighting in his apartment...

They are all people that Magnus wanted to send some form of warning to, whether the warning was hostile, or not.

And suddenly, those "monster eyes" are on full display for Alec to see in a context where he wishes to make Alec feel safe and avoid anything that could ever drive him away.

Thanks to him having lost control over his glamour, Alec is now concerned that he's done something wrong...

And, although Magnus is quick to reassure Alec that his current reaction has nothing to do with something he did - or with him not wanting to share this intimate moment with him - he's still avoiding Alec's gaze, seemingly withdrawing from him, and offering no coherent or clear explanation as to why.

But, try as he might, Magnus can't bring the glamour back on, so he's essentially got two choices...

He can either trust that Alec won't leave once he sees his warlock mark, and that he'll be able to accept that it is a part of him that he can't always control (apparently).

That, should Alec find his eyes' appearance unsettling, they'll find ways to manage the situation until Magnus becomes better at maintaining his glamour around Alec while the two of them are being intimate with each other. Maybe get creative with the use of blindfolds?

Or he can continue to let Alec worry over what's happening while stubbornly keeping his eyes closed and refusing to look at him until he gets the glamour back on, thus maintaining a certain form of "barrier" between them.

Magnus thus chooses to take the risk of allowing himself to be vulnerable with Alec once again - allowing him to see him without any glamour - so he'll understand that his reaction wasn't caused by anything Alec did.

Or actually, maybe it was caused by something Alec did; just not by something Alec did wrong.

And I also love the way that Alec's expression doesn't change right away once Magnus finds the courage to turn around.

I love that Alec briefly continues to just look at him like he's still trying to figure out what's wrong with Magnus now that he's FINALLY able to look in his eyes - steadily searching for the answer there like he did earlier.

I like to think that Alec sort of initially just mentally went: "Okay, that's good, I've managed to get him to look at me. Now, I just need to convince him that it's okay for him to tell me what he meant by "los - OH!"

That the moment he realizes the eyes he's been looking into have changed color and appearance, he breaks into that slightly amused smile (mostly amused at himself for having been too focused on trying to read the emotions written there to immediately notice the change); relieved to know that Magnus and him will be okay.

Because, just like Madzie's gills looked incredibly cool, Magnus' cat eyes are absolutely gorgeous, and Alec knows he's just falling in love with his boyfriend's eyes all over again, gladly getting lost in their depth.

Alec can only hope that Magnus will believe him when he tells him that they are beautiful, that he's beautiful... That it will help relieve some of the pain, fears, and concerns he sees reflected in them...

Meanwhile, Magnus watches Alec go from being a concerned, confused, and inquisitive puppy; to a relieved, mesmerized, and adoring one in a matter of seconds!

Next thing he knows, there's a warm, gentle hand against his cheek; and a pair of open, steady, loving hazel eyes staring right back into his own, tenderly anchoring him there while Alec is calling his cat eyes beautiful, telling him that he's beautiful - all of him - with all the love and sincerity he can muster.

Magnus can allow himself to relax, lovingly reach up to caress the hand resting on his cheek while lazily blinking back at him in wonder.

His cat eyes - that Magnus had usually used to inspire respect and fear, to remind people of his powers and appear more intimidating - aren't driving him away.

For some reason, they appear to be drawing Alec in instead, inspiring him to move even closer to him rather than farther apart. And perhaps - just perhaps - if Alec can love them and see beauty in them, he might be able to learn to love and fully own that part of himself, too.

One of the things that fascinate me about Alec is that, once he found out that his parents and the Clave had lied to him his whole life about their involvement in the Circle, it's like he made the conscious decision to bring all of his perceptions of the Downworld back to factory reset.

He was able to recognize that all of the prejudices he'd ever had about warlocks, vampires, and other Downworlders weren't based on facts, and that there was no actual evidence that Downworlders were better or worse people just for having demon blood.

Instinctively, we fear what we don't know or don't understand - what we haven't been familiarized with when we were young. We perceive what isn't "like us" or "a part of our usual environment" as potential threats.

ROBERT: [Magnus]'s reputation precedes him. And even for a warlock, he’s a bit of a lothario. Alec, there’s so much that you don’t know about him.

ALEC: Well, then I plan to get to know him.

Alec's not denying that there are tons of things he doesn't know nor understand about Magnus, simply stating that he's not going to let that lack of knowledge make him treat Magnus as inherently "bad" or dangerous because of it.

He's going to take the time to get to know him - seek to better understand him - and he'll adapt his opinion of him based on what he sees, learns, finds, and experiences, rather than the opinion of people that have never bothered spending time with him, nor made any efforts to get to know him for who he is rather than what he could potentially do "as a warlock".

Better yet, he's going to start exploring the rest of the Downworld and getting to know their people as if he was experiencing their world and taking a look at them for the very first time, too.

When it comes to Magnus and the Downworld, Alec is choosing to leave himself open and trusting in the face of the unknown, rather than risking to unfairly treat them as threats to keep himself and fellow Shadowhunters "safe" from things they don't understand, yet are too fearful to go explore.

And, unlike Aldertree, he's wise enough to avoid treating anecdotal bad experiences, no matter how tragic or terrible they may be, as facts that can be generalized to all of the Downworld.

Just because the breaks of your car have malfunctioned and caused a crash doesn't mean that every car you'll climb in is ill-fated to have malfunctioning breaks and crash.

Alec is obviously not "innocent" all the way through. He grew up in a world of politics and is perfectly aware of the mind games and power plays that can and often occur there.

He was also emotionally and psychologically abused by parents that used his feelings to get what they wanted out of him (they may have thought they were doing it to protect their children from their past and the Clave, their behavior with their children was still controlling and abusive, even putting Jace, Isabelle, and Alec in the roles of the golden, invisible, and scapegoat child, respectively).

And that's sort of the point. Now that Alec has snapped out of it, he's very perceptive and typically good at noticing and identifying patterns of emotional manipulation, and/or when someone's motivations and goals go against the welfare of those they are supposed to be protecting.

And treating Downworlders as people also means avoiding to fall into the trap of idealizing them by believing that none of them ever would abuse their powers, among others.

Alec may have decided to start trusting and valuing Downworlders with an open heart, and utterly be refusing to see them as a threats based on their reputation and everything he doesn't know about them, but he still allows himself to have an opinion of each individual he meets.

Be they Shadowhunters, Downworlders, or Mundanes, if the individual's actions and motives appear to be self-serving, and/or threatens to bring harm to others, he won't trust nor support them.

But Magnus himself is the one that helped him realize that the way he'd been raised was wrong, and "snap out" of the manipulation and abuse he'd been the victim of. He's the one that inspired him to start questioning the "truths" he'd been blindly taught by the Clave, and to follow what he knew in his heart was right.

Magnus is the one that, while holding Alec accountable for his actions and letting him know when he didn't approve of his behavior, never tried to minimize what Alec was going through nor pretend that he was wrong for feeling the way he did.

In some ways, Alec is far from being innocent, but in others, he truly is.

He's never been in romantic relationship nor had sex with anyone before, he gets upset over the poor tunas being described as "fatty" on the menu of a sushi restaurant, he grew up being pretty sheltered from everything that exists outside of the Shadow World...

And, with Magnus, he doesn't need to pretend that he knows more than he does, nor hide any of that innocence from him, because he knows that he won't be judged for it, mocked about it or, especially, taken advantage of because of it.

He can afford to let his guards down and embrace that side of him that is filled with innocence and wonder because Magnus respects, values, and nurtures it.

What Magnus receives, in return, is the love and acceptation of someone that refuses to let other people's opinions or even blood connections dictate how he should see the world and others, takes the time to truly look at him, and openly tell him what he sees.

Alec doesn't care what warlocks marks are "supposed to mean" according to the Clave. Madzie's gills are cool-looking, so why shouldn't he compliment her on them?

Magnus' eyes are beautiful and he loves them, so why pretend otherwise?

"There is nothing ugly about you."

"I don't care who your parents are. I care who you are."

"You are the furthest thing from a greater demon."

After all, Alec's parents used to be Circle members, and he's the furthest thing from being Circle member, too.

All I can hope is that telling Magnus out loud that he shouldn't carry the burden nor shame of his parents' actions, or the fact that someone took advantage of him at his most vulnerable to try to turn him into someone he's not, is helping Alec truly internalize the fact that his family's crimes and mistakes aren't his to fix, and the way he'd treated or behaved with Downworlders before he realized how wrong his parents and the Clave were isn't something he should feel guilty about, either.

Take steps to make up for his mistakes and show proper responsibility for Downworlders who are under his people's protection, yes. Acknowledge what he did wrong and why it was wrong, absolutely.

But it doesn't make him a terrible person nor puts him at fault. He still deserves to be loved, cherished, put first, and be reminded of how beautiful he is, too.

I think what makes Malec such a beloved pairing is the amount of love and acceptance they have for each other, and their willingness to emotionally empathize despite their very different backgrounds and experiences.

Relationships do take efforts, but it is important not to overlook the type of efforts they require.

Relationships aren't about making the effort to change the other person to better suit yourself, nor to change yourself to become what the other person wants.

Because, while healthy relationships do, indeed, inspire people to change and (hopefully) become better; they do so by "unlocking" parts of ourselves that we didn't dare acknowledge, explore, develop, and/or express until then.

They do so by offering a supportive, loving, and safe environment for certain aspects of our personalities to hatch, take root, and/or grow.

But those are changes that come from within.

You can offer a romantic partner opportunities for change as much as you want, if they do not feel like they have anything to gain by embracing them (or worse, if their goal is to dominate and control the relationship), nothing good will come of it.

Those efforts, instead, are about learning to know and understand each other, finding the right balance between your partner's needs and your own, leaving your ego at the door while trying to resolve conflicts, admitting to being wrong when you are, showing appreciation and respect towards your partner for taking responsibility for their mistakes when it turns out that you are right, and seeking to come out of any conflict or difficult situation with the two of you having gained or learned something out of it, and with your partnership having ideally grown stronger from the experience.

Those efforts are about being willing to pool resources together to support and make each other stronger. They are about finding how to make your respective differences work in such a way that they complement each other, and accept that there are aspects of your lives where you'll need to agree to disagree.

Relationships take efforts, but they require healthy efforts.

And some of those efforts, thankfully, turn out to be more rewarding than anything else.

Because, while Magnus does have to make the effort of being mindful that he's Alec first romantic and sexual relationship, and he does have to make the effort of giving him space to explore, take risks, and set the pace for the both of them, he seems to be enjoying every single second of it.

Since Alec grew up in such a very sheltered environment, there are tons of things in the Mundane world - and even just life in general - that he's yet to have tasted, touched, seen, heard and experienced.

By loving him - by emotionally connecting with Alec - he gets the chance to re-experience many of the things he loves with him for the first time, too.

I have absolutely no trouble imagining Magnus bringing Alec to his favorite restaurants not so much for the food itself, but to drink in the sight of Alec tasting it and listening to him commenting on it - regardless of whether he ends up enjoying the same foods he does or not.

When they walk hand-in-hand in the streets of a foreign city, Alec is likely to pay attention to things that Magnus himself may never have noticed before, and appreciate details that he may have grown to take for granted over time, or stopped noticing after a while.

And, after having grown up with parents that - in Alec's own words - have drilled into him that he was never good enough, Alec has met someone that finds delight and joy in almost everything he does, and who treats him like he's the best thing that has ever happened to him in hundred of years!

Somehow, their respective needs and wants work together in a very beautiful and organic way.

They are different and they do come from different worlds, but their core values, personalities, ability to derive genuine happiness from their partner's own experience of it, and their desire to treat their relationship as a true partnership makes it work and allows them to overcome challenges together.

Magnus offered Alec a world he never thought he'd ever be allowed to have and experience.

Alec offered Magnus the key to opening his heart and fully emotionally connecting with all the wonders and joys of their world.

Magnus' powers is the magic he was born with, but Alec's love and innocence is the magic he chose to bring home with him and keep safe.

[paracosm-draw]

🎁 for the drabble ask :)

🎁 - Present

_____________

The first time Alec sees it, he's thirteen.

He's not supposed to be on the crypt and he knows very well that if an adult catches him in here, he will be grounded for the rest of the week. So he holds his breath and tries to be as quiet as possible while stepping into the darkness of the room.

Jace has to be hidding there. He searched all the other rooms in the Institute, all their secret hiding places, and found nothing.

Knowing Jace's tendency not to take no for an answer and his absolute love for forbidden things, Alec wouldn't be surprised to find him crouching behind a grave, ready to freak the fuck out of him.

"Jace...?" He calls softly, and his voice echoes lightly on the marble walls around him.

The place is cold, silent. The atmosphere feels special, as if time were suspended, and it makes Alec feel very aware that his presence here is not required.

When he moves further to explore the crypt , all he can hear is the muffled sound of his leather boots on the ground. If Jace is in here, he must be very careful not to betray himself with the sound of his breathing.

Alec goes around every tomb, searches behind every pillar but there's no sight of his adoptive brother. But the young nephilim is not one to give up easily.

There's one more room to search.

When Alec enters this one, he can put his stele away because of the pale light filtering through the small window carved in the roof. His eyes wander over his surroundings before widening suddenly.

There's nothing else in the room than a human-size statue bathing in the cold light. Particles of dust are moving lazily from the opening, forming a glittering halo around his head.

Alec's feet move on their own as he approaches the pale figure. The statue represents a tall and slim man with delicate asian features. His head is tilted forward and his eyes are closed. He's sculpted into the purest white marble the boy has ever seen, with an astonishing level of precision.

Alec's eyes run over the delicate edges of his neck, the strands of hair that seem frozen in motion falling on his forehead, the details of his eyelashes brushing his cheekbones, the perfect curve of his lips. One of his hands is resting on his heart, his long slender fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt as if in pain. The other hangs at his side, cut off in its movement. He wears a lot of jewellery, which the sculptor has honoured perfectly.

Alec raises his hand hesitantly, looks around, then gently brushes the statue's jaw with his fingertips. It's cold and smooth and Alec can't help but press his entire warm palm against the stone, cupping the man's cheek and scrutinizing his expression, trying to see something beyond the surface.

"You're so beautiful. Why do you look so sad..? He wonders for himself in the silence of the room. And who are you ?"

Since that moment, the statue becomes his most precious secret. He hasn't told anyone about it, not even Jace.

He tries to visit him at least once a day. Most of the time he has to sneak out of bed in the middle of the night.

When he's there, he sits at his feet and tells hims about his day, or reads out loud the books he has to study. Sometimes he wonders aloud about his identity, hoping to hear a voice answer to his questions, but the statue always remains still and silent.

But Alec is not discouraged. He reads all the books in the library and spends whole nights looking for answers.

Little by little, he falls into obsession.

Visiting the beautiful stranger once a day is no longer enough. He takes every spare moment to disappear into the crypt, makes up lame excuses for not going out with his friends and starts arriving late for training.

And this lasts until he's seventeen. It's a miracle he's kept it a secret so far.

Jace's his parabatai now, he has to be careful. For the feelings that have blossomed in his chest over the years are now those of a teenager madly in love, as strange as it may sound.

If anybody knew that he was desperately in love with a person made of stone, he would be good for a one-way trip to the Silent Brothers. No one could ever understand.

Magnus - he had finally found his name after cleaning the dirt on the stand - was his refuge. He could share with him his most secret thoughts and not feel judged. He was the only one with whom he could relieve the pressure imposed by his parents and by the Clave to be the perfect son, the perfect soldier, the perfect future leader. But above all, it was the only place where he did not feel ashamed of being who he was. Of loving a boy without being treated as different and worthless.

That's why today, today's a big day for Alec.

Today he comes to the crypt with a gift. And a promise.

" Hello, Magnus." He smiles happily while entering the room, fingers fidgeting nervously in his pocket.

He places a light kiss on the man's cold cheek and steps away to give him a sharp look. Magnus looks so real that sometimes Alec thinks he's just gonna wake up, smile and thanks him for being so patient.

But it never happens.

And tonight is the last night they're gonna spend together because tomorrow at dawn, Alec is leaving to the Mumbai Institute to complete is compulsory year abroad.

He already misses Magnus. One year is so long. What if Magnus is not there anymore when he retuns ? That's its worst fear.

He tries to shake off the anguish that is knotting around his insides and pulls something out of the pocket of his holey sweater.

"I've got something for you. A present. So that you don't forget me."

There is a small green satin bag in his palm when he opens his hand. He opens it with trembling fingers and takes away a silver ringed-shaped object, a little bit bumpy around the edges, with a black stone roughly attached to the top.

"It's not as pretty as your other jewellery, I know... I made it myself but, uh... Izzy is the talented one in this domain." He explains with an apologetic smile.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. It means I won't be able to see you for a long time, so..."

He takes Magnus petrified hand on his own and looks at his beautiful face.

"I might have access to new informations there. I promise you that when I come back, I'll have found a way to wake you up and then I'll marry you. I don't care about what the Clave might say, I- I love you, Magnus. Please, wait for me." He whispers, and then put the ring on one of Magnus' finger, heart hammering in his chest.

He doesn't care if he looks like a fool, only he knows where his heart lies, and it's in Magnus' palms. It's all he can think about when he stands up on tiptoe to gently press his lips to the statue's cold, hard ones.

A few hours later, he sets foot at the Mumbai Institute with a heavy heart, but ready to explore new horizons. Who knew what he could discover in here ?

----

The first rays of dawn break through the crypt window when Magnus opens his eyes. He's been asleep for a hundred years but he doesn't know that, as it seems like yesterday that the spell petrified him. It's been dark since then.

He takes a step forward and lifts his face into the warm morning light. His skin has regained the colour and warmth of life, he can feel, and hear, and see again. He can feel the cold ground against is bare feet, he can hear his own breath, the sound of fabric against his skin. He can see the place where he's been locked up for so long.

He takes a long breath.

How ?

As far as he can see he's alone in here.

And then a glimpse catches his eyes. That's when he notices it. The ring that stands out from the rest by its imperfection.

He's sure it doesn't belong to him. That means somebody came here and saw him and cared enough to gift him something.

It certainely is one solid lead.

He cannot wait to meet them.

[battii-art]

While I absolutely love the idea of Alec and Magnus adopting another kid, I am infinetly more terrified of this potential child bringing the Lightwood curse down upon them- anytime there are 3 Lightwood siblings Cassie always kills one of them

[rafasbiscuits]

I want to talk about the Shadowhunters for a sec. As a book reader and as a person who watch the shows.

So, in the show, Alec Lightwood has brown eyes. And I don't like this. Now I'm not saying that Matthew Daddario isn't a good Alec, he is a wonderful Alec, but they could at least give him blue contacts so when the people watch the show they'd be like. "Oh, why do they give Matthew Daddario blue contacts? Is it that important?"

IT IS.

The first thing that attracted Magnus to Alec was his blue eyes and jet black hair, Magnus is weak for the black hair and blue eyes, he had always been. It's his type, way before he met Alec, before he met Will Herondale( I'll talk about this later) wayy before all of this. It's his type.

If it wasn't for Alec's blue eyes in the books, then Magnus wouldn't be as attracted to Alec, maybe their relationship never could've happened. If it wasn't for Alec's blue eyes-black hair combo, Magnus wouldn't look at Alec's direction(it's in the books!!) His blue eyes were the first thing Magnus saw and that made Magnus go "damn, he is exactly my type."

Alec's resemblance to Will Herondale is what intrigued Magnus, because Will is somewhat Magnus's not-so-crush crush. Kinda. It's complicated. But Alec's blue eyes are VERY important (in my not so humble opinion)

I know Magnus will always love Alec even in another universe where Alec has brown eyes, like this universe, the Shadowhunters TV universe. But they (the one who made the show, producers, directors, etc) could at least point out Alec's blue eyes, so for the ones who never read the Shadowhunters book will get a glimpse of what attracted Magnus to Alec in the first place.

I know that the show is the show, the book is the book, not all of it has to be 100% accurate, but in my opinion, I just think Alec's blue eyes and black hair is just very important..

"It made no sense that his eyes had been drawn to Alec, over and over again. Alec had hung to the back of their little group, had made no effort to attract the eye. He had striking coloring, the rare combination of black hair and blue eyes that had always been Magnus’s favorite, and Magnus supposed that was why he had looked in Alec’s direction at first. Strange to see the coloring that had so distinguished Will and his sister.."

- The Bane Chronicles, Cassandra Clare.

[jhzhuxx]

not to be that girlie™️ but based on my (extremely limited) understanding of what happens in season two Die For You by the Weeknd is the perfect malec song

[graycious-tea]

All yall saying Tommy calling Buck Evan is disrespectful and like malicious clearly don’t remember my man, fellow bi icon Magnus Bane calling his pookie Alec Lightwood, Alexander at any given moment despite no one calling him Alexander except his parents who also suck like my man was gone on that shadowhunter and so is Tommy!!!

[green28go]

“Stop telling me to let you go,” said Alec. “I will never listen. I want to be with you. I never wanted anything more in my life. If you fall, I want to fall with you.”

Alec in The Red Scrolls Of Magic

Alec looked stricken. “We’ll die together,” he said. “Let me stay at least, with you.” “You have to go back. You have to go back to the world.” “I don’t want the world. I want you,” Alec said, and Magnus closed his eyes, as if the words almost hurt.

Alec in The City of Heavenly Fire

Before Shinyun could act, though, Alec was moving. He was reaching out, and he was wrapping his hand around the blade of the Svefnthorn, and he was grimacing with effort and resolve, and he was thrusting the Svefnthorn into his own chest, piercing his own heart. From where he knelt, Magnus could see the thorn run all the way through him, emerge through his back, and remain there. Alec’s eyes were still open, still wide, still staring right at Magnus.

Alec in The Lost Book Of The White

Bonus:

“Magnus Bane was one of the first great tragedies,” said Livvy as if she were reciting an old story everyone knew. “Bane realized he was turning into a demon. He begged his boyfriend, Alexander Lightwood, to kill him. Alec did, and then turned the sword on himself. Their bodies were found together in the ruins of New York.”

Alec in Thule (Queen of Air and Darkness)

These parallels are truly heartbreaking.

[simp-for-kit]

I can't wait for Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane to realize that he as the Consul will have to punish a certain blond Herondale for breaking the law, when he himself was the one helping his own blond Herondale to break laws not that while ago

Also I bet that Ty is going to get accused of necromancy and KIT WILL BE LIKE "NO NO, IT WAS ME. YEAAAAH I'M IN LOVE WITH LIVIA GUYS OF COURSE IT WAS ME" and take the guilt cause he just loves Ty too much

[la-muerta]

SH Spooky Fics Self-rec for Halloween

Shadowhunters edition first (because that's what I have the most of lol)

Monsters [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, ~93.7k words, SPN-verse AU, Lightwoods as hunters, Prince of Hell Magnus ---

Salem [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, ~61.4k words, College AU, modern witches, SE Asian magic & Salem Witch Trials ---

The Haunting of Blackthorn House - Part 1: Red Door on the Right [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, ~32k words - Part 2: The Secrets of Blackthorn House [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, ~28k words ---

Alexa/Alexander [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, ~3.7k words, Major Character Death; Magnus loses his husband in a car accident – but the ones we love never truly leave us. ---

Black Dog [Read on Ao3]; Rated T, ~1.8k words; Magnus Bane, a travelling demon hunter, wanders into a town that is being terrorised by a monstrous phantom dog. ---

The Lighthouse on Lightwood Island [Read on Ao3]; Rated T, 614 words, Major Character Death; A strange lighthouse stands alone at the far end of Lightwood Island. ---

The Goddess [Read on Ao3]; Rated T, ~4.1k words; Fearless explorer Maia teams up with a slightly shady sorcerer in an attempt to beat the Lightwood siblings to the lost temple of the dancing goddess. ---

Bloody Mary [Read on Ao3]; Rated T, ~1.6k words, Major Character Death; Clary hadn't planned to fall in love with the ghost in the mirror. ---

Sharp Teeth [Read on Ao3]; Rated T, 810 words, Major Character Death; Jace convinces Simon to explore an abandoned old house on their first date. ---

Afterschool Special [Read on Ao3]; Rated T, ~2.9k words, Major Character Death; School legend tells of seven haunted spots in Idris Academy. What better night than Halloween to find out if all the stories are true? ---

what is yours will find you [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, 17k words, Modern with magic, Human-ish AU, Alec with magic ---

the treachery of beautiful things [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, 44.6k words, Major Character Undeath, Vampire AU, Indonesian folklore ---

swirling black lilies, totally ripe [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, 6.6k words, Magnus is a God, Indonesian folklore ---

Definitely Not Haunted (Anymore) [Read on Ao3]; Rated E, ~50.4k words, Fluff & Horror, haunted house meet-cute, case fic, Indonesian folklore

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

"Nice?" Alec looked at her as if she were insane. "Kittens are nice. Warlocks are -" He hesitated. "Not," he finished, lamely. - City of Bones

Yeah, ok sweetie. Just wait a few years and you'll be like this:

Alec gave a sharp gasp as their bodies collided, and very quickly neither of them were laughing anymore. Alec's breath came short as Magnus drew off his shirt. His touch was hungry, exploring. He found the collar of Magnus's shirt and ripped it open, pushing it off Magnus's shoulders. His hands smoothed down Magnus's bare arms. He pressed kisses to Magnus's throat, his bare chest, his flat navel-less stomach. Magnus wound his fingers into Alec's wild dark hair and wondered if anyone had ever been this lucky. - The Red Scrolls of Magic

Very notably like this:

Alec had his arms around Magnus and was kissing him, full on the mouth. Magnus, who appeared to be in a state of shock, stood frozen. Several groups of people - Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike - were staring and whispering. Glancing to the side, Simon saw the Lightwoods, their eyes wide, gaping at the display. Maryse had her hand over her mouth. - City of Glass

And my personal favorite:

"Me too," said Alec. "Family outing. Those are my kids over there, with my husband. Over there. That's my husband." - Ghosts of the Shadow Market

Top tier relationship progression and character arc, no one will ever come close to topping Alexander Lightwood-Bane in this area 😎

Art: @cassandrajean

[catreadsbooks]

Kissed (Magnus and Alec's first kiss)

It was printed on thin paper, nearly parchment, in a thin, elegant, spidery hand. It announced a gathering at the humble home of Magnus the Magnificent Warlock, and promised attendees “a rapturous evening of delights beyond your wildest imaginings.” —City of Bones

Standing in the stairwell of Magnus’ home, Alec stared at the name written under the buzzer on the wall. BANE. The name didn’t really seem to suit Magnus, he thought, not now that he knew him. If you could really be said to know someone when you’d attended one of their parties, once, and then they’d saved your life later but hadn’t really hung around to be thanked. But the name Magnus Bane made him think of a towering sort of figure, with huge shoulders and formal purple warlock’s robes, calling down fire and lightning. Not Magnus himself, who was more of a cross between a panther and a demented elf.

Alec took a deep breath and let it out. Well, he’d come this far; he might as well go on. The bare lightbulb hanging overhead cast sweeping shadows as he reached forward and pressed the buzzer.

A moment later a voice echoed through the stairwell. “WHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?”

“Er,” Alec said. “It’s me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood.”

There was a sort of silence, as if even the hallway itself were surprised. Then a ping, and the second door opened, letting him out onto the stairwell. He headed up the rickety stairs into the darkness, which smelled like pizza and dust. The second floor landing was bright, the door at the far end open. Magnus Bane was leaning in the entryway.

Compared to the first time Alec has seen him, he looked fairly normal. His black hair still stood up in spikes, and he looked sleepy; his face, even with its cat’s eyes, very young. He wore a black t-shirt with the words ONE MILLION DOLLARS picked out across the chest in sequins, and jeans that hung low on his hips, low enough that Alec looked away, down at his own shoes. Which were boring.

“Alexander Lightwood,” said Magnus. He had just the faintest trace of an accent, something Alec couldn’t put his finger on, a lilt to his vowels. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Alec looked past Magnus. “Do you have — company?”

Magnus crossed his arms, which did good things for his biceps, and leaned against the side of the door. “Why do you want to know?”

“I was hoping I could come in and talk to you.”

“Hmmm.” Magnus’ eyes raked him up and down. They really did shine in the dark, like a cat’s. “Well, all right then.” He turned abruptly away and disappeared into the apartment; after a startled moment, Alec followed.

The loft looked different without a hundred churning bodies in it. It was — well, not ordinary, but the sort of space someone might live in. Like most lofts, it had a big central room split into “rooms” by groupings of furniture. There was a square collection of sofas and tables off to the right, which Magnus gestured Alec toward. Alec sat down on a gold velvet sofa with elegant wooden curlicues on the arms.

“Would you like some tea?” Magnus asked. He wasn’t sitting in a chair, but had sprawled himself on a tufted ottoman, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

Alec nodded. He felt incapable of saying anything. Anything interesting or intelligent, that was. It was always Jace who said the interesting, intelligent things. He was Jace’s parabatai and that was all the glory he needed or wanted: like being the dark star to someone else’s supernova. But this was somewhere Jace couldn’t go with him, something Jace couldn’t help him with. “Sure.”

His right hand felt suddenly hot. He looked down, and realized he was holding a waxed paper cup from Joe, the Art of Coffee. It smelled like chai. He jumped, and only barely escaped spilling on himself. “By the Angel —”

“I LOVE that expression,” said Magnus. “It’s so quaint.”

Alec stared at him. “Did you steal this tea?”

Magnus ignored the question. “So,” he said. “Why are you here?”

Alec took a gulp of the stolen tea. “I wanted to thank you,” he said, when he came up for air. “For saving my life.”

Magnus leaned back on his hands. His t-shirt rode up over his flat stomach, and this time Alec had nowhere else to look. “You wanted to thank me.”

“You saved my life,” Alec said, again. “But I was delirious, and I don’t think I really thanked you. I know you didn’t have to do it. So thank you.”

Magnus’ eyebrows had disappeared up into his hairline. “You’re . . .welcome?”

Alec set his tea down. “Maybe I should go.”

Magnus sat up. “After you came so far? All the way to Brooklyn? Just to thank me?” He was grinning. “Now that would be a wasted effort.” He reached out and put his hand to Alec’s cheek, his thumb brushing along the cheekbone. His touch felt like fire, training tendrils of sparks in its wake. Alec sat frozen in surprise — surprise at the gesture, and surprise at the effect it was having on him. Magnus’ eyes narrowed, and he dropped his hand. “Huh,” he said to himself.

“What?” Alec was suddenly very worried that he’d done something wrong. “What is it?”

“You’re just . . .” A shadow moved behind Magnus; with fluid agility, the warlock twisted around and picked up a small gray and white tabby cat from the floor. The cat curled into the crook of his arm and looked at Alec with suspicion. Now two pairs of gold-green eyes were trained on him darkly. “Not what I expected.”

“From a Shadowhunter?”

“From a Lightwood.”

“I didn’t realize you knew my family that well.”

“I’ve known your family for hundreds of years.” Magnus’ eyes searched his face. “Now your sister, she’s a Lightwood. You—’

“She said you liked me.”

“What?”

“Izzy. My sister. She told me you liked me. Liked me, liked me.”

“Liked you, liked you?” Magnus buried his grin in the cat’s fur. “Sorry. Are we twelve now? I don’t recall saying anything to Isabelle . . .”

“Jace said it too.” Alec was blunt; it was the only way he knew how to be. “That you liked me. That when he buzzed up here, you thought he was me and you were disappointed that it was him. That never happens.”

“Doesn’t it? Well, it should.”

Alec was startled. “No — I mean Jace, he’s . . . Jace.”

“He’s trouble,” said Magnus. “But you are totally without guile. Which in a Lightwood, is a conundrum. You’ve always been a plotting sort of family, like low-rent Borgias. But there isn’t a lie in your face. I get the feeling everything you say is straightforward.”

Alec leaned forward. “Do you want to go out with me?”

Magnus blinked. “See, that’s what I mean. Straightforward.”

Alec chewed his lip and said nothing.

“Why do you want to go out with me?” Magnus inquired. He was rubbing Chairman Meow’s head, his long fingers folding the cat’s ears down. “Not that I’m not highly desirable, but the way you asked, it seemed as if you were having some sort of fit —”

“I just do,” Alec said. “And I thought you liked me, so you’d say yes, and I could try — I mean, we could try —” He put his face in his hands. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

Magnus’ voice was gentle. “Does anyone know you’re gay?”

Alec’s head jerked up; he found he was breathing a little hard, as if he’d run a race. But what could he do, deny it? When he’d come here to do exactly the opposite? “Clary,” he said, hoarsely. “Which is . . . Which was an accident. And Izzy, but she’d never say anything.”

“Not your parents. Not Jace?”

Alec thought about Jace knowing, and pushed the thought away, hard and fast. “No. No, and I don’t want them to know, especially Jace.”

“I think you could tell him.” Magnus rubbed Chairman Meow under the chin. “He went to pieces like a jigsaw puzzle when he thought you were going to die. He cares ��”

“I’d rather not.” Alec was still breathing quickly. He rubbed at the knees of his jeans with his fists. “I’ve never had a date,” he said in a low voice. “Never kissed anyone. Not ever. Izzy said you liked me and I thought —”

“I’m not unsympathetic. But do you like me? Because this being gay business doesn’t mean you can just throw yourself at any guy and it’ll be fine because he’s not a girl. There are still people you like and people you don’t.”

Alec thought of his bedroom back at the Institute, of being in a delirium of pain and poison when Magnus had come in. He had barely recognized him. He was fairly sure he’d been screaming for his parents, for Jace, for Izzy, but his voice would only come out on a whisper. He remembered Magnus’ hands on him, his fingers cool and gentle. He remembered the death-grip he’d kept on Magnus’ wrist, for hours and hours, even after the pain had passed and he knew he would be all right. He remembered watching Magnus’ face in the light of the rising sun, the gold of sunrise sparking gold out of his eyes, and thinking how oddly beautiful he was, with his cat’s gaze and grace.

“Yes,” Alec said. “I like you.”

He met Magnus’ gaze squarely. The warlock was looking at him with a sort of admixture of curiosity and affection and puzzlement. “It’s so odd,” Magnus said. “Genetics. Your eyes, that color —” He stopped and shook his head.

“The Lightwoods you knew didn’t have blue eyes?”

“Green-eyed monsters,” said Magnus, and grinned. He deposited Chairman Meow on the ground, and the cat moved over to Alec, and rubbed against his leg. “The Chairman likes you.”

“Is that good?”

“I never date anyone my cat doesn’t like,” Magnus said easily, and stood up. “So let’s say Friday night?”

A great wave of relief came over Alec. “Really? You want to go out with me?”

Magnus shook his head. “You have to stop playing hard to get, Alexander. It makes things difficult.” He grinned. He had a grin like Jace’s — not that they looked anything alike, but the sort of grin that lit up his whole face. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

Alec drifted after Magnus toward the front door, feeling as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders, one he hadn’t even known he was carrying. Of course he’d have to come up with an excuse for where he was going Friday night, something Jace wouldn’t want to participate in, something he’d need to do alone. Or he could pretend to be sick and sneak out. He was so lost in thought he almost banged into the front door, which Magnus was leaning against, looking at him through eyes narrowed to crescents.

“What is it?” Alec said.

“Never kissed anyone?” Magnus said. “No one at all?”

“No,” said Alec, hoping this didn’t disqualify him from being datable. “Not a real kiss —”

“Come here.” Magnus took him by the elbows and pulled him close. For a moment Alec was entirely disoriented by the feeling of being so close to someone else, to the kind of person he’d wanted to be close to for so long. Magnus was long and lean but not skinny; his body was hard, his arms lightly muscled but strong; he was an inch or so taller than Alec, which hardly ever happened, and they fit together perfectly. Magnus’ finger was under his chin, tilting his face up, and then they were kissing. Alec heard a small hitching gasp come from his own throat and then their mouths were pressed together with a sort of controlled urgency. Magnus, Alec thought dazedly, really knew what he was doing. His lips were soft, and he parted Alec’s expertly, exploring his mouth: a symphony of lips, teeth, tongue, every movement waking up a nerve ending Alec had never known he had.

He found Magnus’ waist with his fingers, touching the strip of bare skin he’d been trying to avoid looking at before, and slid his hands up under Magnus’ shirt. Magnus jerked with surprise, then relaxed, his hands running down Alec’s arms, over his chest, his waist, finding the belt loops on Alec’s jeans and using them to pull him closer. His mouth left Alec’s and Alec felt the hot pressure of his lips on his throat, where the skin was so sensitive that it seemed directly connected to the bones in his legs, which were about to give out. Just before he slid to the floor, Magnus let him go. His eyes were shining and so was his mouth.

“Now you’ve been kissed,” he said, reached behind him, and yanked the door open. “See you Friday?”

Alec cleared his throat. He felt dizzy, but he also felt alive — blood rushing through his veins like traffic at top speed, everything seemingly almost too brightly colored. As he stepped through the door, he turned and looked at Magnus, who was watching him bemusedly. He reached forward and took hold of the front of Magnus’ t-shirt and dragged the warlock toward him. Magnus stumbled against him, and Alec kissed him, hard and fast and messy and unpracticed, but with everything he had. He pulled Magnus against him, his own hand between them, and felt Magnus’ heart stutter in his chest.

He broke off the kiss, and drew back.

“Friday,” he said, and let Magnus go. He backed away, down the landing, Magnus looking after him. The warlock crossed his arms over his shirt — wrinkled where Alec had grabbed it — and shook his head, grinning.

“Lightwoods,” Magnus said. “They always have to have the last word.”

He shut the door behind him, and Alec ran down the steps, taking them two at a time, his blood still singing in his ears like music.

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: JUST A STUPID SAPPY POST ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVS MR ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD-BANE, A NATIONAL TREASURE (sort of long so read at your own risk)

one of my favorite things about show Alec is that he truly does not give a fuck. if you hurt the people he cares about, he will call you out on it. just a short little rant about the difference between book and show Alec. book Alec does not have any autonomy or is allowed any thoughts that don’t include jace. “I wish I could fight like jace, I wish I could act as jace does, or JACE JACE JACE. CC STOP LET ALEC BE HIS OWN PERSON FOR FUCKS SAKE

this is because when CC (just my personal opinion.) started writing about Alec, she thought he didn’t deserve to be his own person. she believed everyone should be obsessed with jace because well, she is and that’s the way it should be, right? and indeed, she planned to kill him off in the first book.

I’ve been having some thoughts since finishing the show because I don’t know who created show Alec and made him who he is (probably Matt, let’s be real) but thank you so much. Alec is his own person with his own feelings and his own thoughts. show Alec is a tremendous fighter and is seen to take on jace extremely well. book Alec for some weird reason isn’t a skilled fighter. which I’ll never understand but whatever lmao

no one in the book is allowed to call out jace for anything and if they do, it’s apparent that they’re “jealous” of jace. if jace is the best shadowhunter alive, then why does his worthless ass need saving every single book? and why is that person always Alec?

Jace treats Alec as a lap dog as wonderful Simon beautifully pointed out in the show. this is also something CC would never have allowed. Alec will call out Jace, the new high warlock of Brooklyn (ugh Lorenzo), clary, aldertree, the inquisitor, his parents, anyone who steps in his way. I think it’s such a big difference with book and show Alec.

I so badly wished to love book Alec (and trust me, I truly did try) but I just can’t. he doesn’t have a mind of his own and if he does, his role is to serve jace or be the funny stereotypical gay. he’s biphobic, hates that his boyfriend has a past, can’t stand up for himself, like he’s not even his own person. he can’t even have his own pov for some of the most important parts of his story. this is a love post for show Alec because that’s the Alec we deserved to read about. one who speaks his own mind, loves and protects those he cares about, and will take no one’s shit.

he’s literally the only one who didn’t trust clary or Sebastian but everyone (except maybe Izzy) who acted as though Alec was the problem. seriously just a big thank you to mending Alec and making him one of the best reasons to watch the show 🫶🏼

I’m in love with Alec and I’m so happy with his growth 🥹 it’s truly the Alec and Magnus show and I’m so here for it 👏🏼

[foodsies4me]

August Malec fic rec!

So the original theme for this month was going to be warlock!Alec as suggested by the lovely @creedofdrums but I realized I don’t know enough warlock!Alec fics to to fill a rec list so I have temporarily postponed the theme for a later date. So, this month is going to be The World Inverted Malec! As always, I have tagged the authors but if you prefer I don’t please tell me because I don’t want these to be annoying for the authors.💜

If you want to add your own recs, please feel free to do so!😊

One-shots:

How Rare and Beautiful by @glorious-spoon: TWI Magnus meets our Magnus and I loooove. Small moment of mistaken identity where TWI Magnus mistakes our Magnus as Asmodeus and I don’t k ow why but that part cracks me up without fail.

Summary:

Footsteps creak in the living room, and Magnus bolts upright, adrenaline flooding through him. His disturbed wards sting across his skin. He can taste the burn of the magic that slipped through them in the back of his throat. It feels strangely familiar, and that’s even more concerning. 

Or: the Magnus of 'This World Inverted' gets a couple of unexpected late-night visitors, and maybe a different perspective.

Worth the Risk by Aryn: TWI Magnus ends up in the shadowworld timeline/universe and meets a happy Magnus in a relationship with an equally happy Alec. Something he isn’t in his universe and maybe he might want to change that.

Summary:

When one of alt!Magnus' spells goes off course, he finds himself in a universe where another version of him is working as the High Warlock of Brooklyn and is in a stable relationship with shadowhunter Alec Lightwood. Together, the three of them have to figure out how to send him back to his old dimension. 

He's just not sure how he's going to break the news that he and Alec aren't together in his universe.

When the Worlds Collide by the prolific and renowned orphan_account: Malec meets TWI Malec and this fic is *delightful*.

Summary:

Magnus notices his Alternate self eyeing his husband up and down, "Yeah, I'll start explaining and you go and put on some clothes, okay?" He tells Alec. 

Alec knows why Magnus had said that and he laughs, "Now that's a line I never thought I'll hear you say." he winks at him and turns to go back to his bedroom, flexing his arms casually. It makes Alternate Magnus gasp. 

"Magnus," Alternate Alec elbows his boyfriend.

"Huh?" Alternate Magnus blinks and turns his head to face his Alec with a start. 

"Stop checking him out," Alec says accusingly, in a hushed voice, "I'm literally standing right here"

"wha- I wasn't" 

Or: Magnus Lightwood-Bane, The High Warlock of Brooklyn, gets drunk and summons his (and his husband's) alternate selves in this universe. 

And Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane, The Head of the New York institute, Is tired of his husband's drunken messes. 

Maybe this could end up well. Maybe this could end up a disaster. But it's definitely an interesting experience.

Well I Didn’t Expect That… by Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright: What if TWI Alec found Magnus after Clary and Jace just left, dead demon on the ground included?

Summary:

To say Magnus had had an eventful day would be somewhat of an understatement what with demons and shadowhunters from alternative dimensions, not to mention getting his magic back.

Perhaps he hoped that things would calm down once alternative Clary and Jace left. Unfortunately for his he didn't factor in two things.

Firstly years of neglect meant his magic wasn't as strong as he was used to which certainly made disposing of a dead demon challenging to say the least.

Secondly Alexander Lightwood, the tall, dark and frighteningly handsome mundane he'd met earlier, seemed determined to track him down.

Or what happens when the man who was flirting with you finds you in a dingy basement with a very dead demon.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful by theMagnusBane: TWI Alec throws Magnus a birthday party! What more could you want?

Summary:

The thing about having lived for centuries is that birthdays are no longer such a big deal. A pity no one told that to Magnus Bane's party extraordinaire boyfriend: Alec Lightwood.

Multi-chapter fics or series:

Never Stand Between Two Mirrors by @oncethrown: TWI Alec ends up in the shadowworld universe. I adore the characterization in this fic and both Alecs interacting is the best!

Summary:

Alec has enough on his plate right now. His parents are furious at him, Magnus Bane is making him feel things he's trying so hard not to feel, his wedding is coming up, and his world is breaking apart.

What he doesn't need is a fussy mundane version on himself showing up in the Institute basement. What he doesn't need is Magnus telling him that they'll just have to wait for Seelie Magic to suck that version of himself back to his own dimension.

But since when does Alec get what he needs?

Alternate Dimension Alec gets trapped in the Shadowhunter reality at some point after the "I know you feel what I feel" scene. The gang desperately tries to stop chaos from ensuing.

Through The Looking Glass by @imawriteriwrite this series is just all around adorable and perfect for a feel-good read.

Summary:

After everything with the Soul Sword, after breaking apart and then bringing their lives back together, Alec wanted to do something to show Magnus that he truly loved him. Something that would let the warlock know just how important he was.

A world revived by apathyinreverie: I adore all of this author’s fics but this is certainly one among my favourites!

Summary:

What if the ever-so-brief presence of two Shadowhunters in the inverted world had some unexpected, rather far-reaching consequences? What if magic and demons return to a world that has entirely forgotten how to handle either? 

And suddenly Magnus finds himself stuck explaining the Shadowworld to a group of nephilim who think that seraph blades are pretty cool lightsaber knockoffs and who instead of discussing obscure demon lore keep quoting Disney movies at each other. 

If Ragnor were still alive, he'd laugh himself silly at Magnus' current plight.

hold you to the floor (I was only falling in love) by @liminoidal: Magnus’ magic and Alec, what more perfect combination is there?

Summary:

This won’t be the last I see of you, Alexander, he thought to himself, and he couldn’t tell if it was his own excitement or the magic of his very soul (if the vile thing existed) that purred with excitement.

(Or, four times Magnus' magic behaved... oddly around Alec, and one time that Alec had the answers.)

[lawsofchaos1]

Malec Promptlet: Royal AU

Asmodeus is the High King of Edom, a brutal and immoral overlord.

Edom conquered Idris two years ago after a long and protracted war, ended by the public execution of the King and Queen, Robert and Maryse Lightwood.

Alexander Lightwood, the Crown Prince and High General, is spared by Asmodeus, but only with the intention of having him serve as a living symbol of Idris' defeat by becoming the personal servant of Edom's own Crown Prince, Magnus Bane.

Prior to the war's end, Alec was able to send his siblings to safety in a neutral country across the sea, DuMort, even though he had to all but beg his sister and his shield-brother, Jace, to go. Alec had known that they were losing, the magic of Edom too powerful to fight much longer, and he'd played every emotional trick he could to make sure Jace and Izzy left their country and him behind. Max would need both of them with him to survive as a legitimate blood heir of a fallen kingdom.

Alec hadn't expected to survive himself.

But, when Asmodeus demands he bend the knee in the same room as his parent's bodies, Alec understands the trade at hand - his dignity for his remaining people's survival.

It's an easy decision for Alec to make.

The journey from Idris to Edom is hard, but Alec holds fast and eventually they make it to Edom's capital and he is thrown to the mercy of the Crown Prince's household. Every so often Asmodeus trots Alec out for some public humiliation, to prove Edom's superiority in front of visiting rulers wondering whether to take the offered treaty terms or risk negotiation, but for the most part everything is ... fine.

Magnus, as it turns out, is a kind master and Alec has no complaints.

As the seasons turn and begin to repeat, Magnus and Alec grow to be friends, confidantes even, though Alec is never truly able to forget the precariousness of his situation. Magnus desperately wants to be more, but he also knows that Alec doesn't have the power to say no, so he contents himself as they are. 

Magnus dreams of Alec being confident enough in their firm friendship and trust to perhaps want to be together as well, dreams even more secretly of the two of them ruling one day together as fully equal partners.

(Alec refuses to admit, even to himself, that he often dreams of similar tidings.) 

One night, however, Asmodeus calls Alec to serve him in his private rooms with a group of counselors and visiting officials from their southern neighbor. Magnus sadly watches Alec go, knowing exactly why Asmodeus wants Alec tonight of all nights. Negotiation begins tomorrow on a trade treaty, and watching Idris' fallen prince kneel to an enemy king is a powerful reminder of what it can cost to refuse Asmodeus' wishes.

Magnus goes to sleep, wishing futilely he was able to help without making things infinitely worse, hoping Alec will be well and whole in the morning.

It seems like his head has just touched the pillow when Magnus is woken up, suddenly and shockingly, the embers of the previous evening's fire providing just enough light to see by. Jolting up, heart racing, Magnus' mouth drops open to see Alec kneeling prostrate at the side of his bed.

Alec is frantic, broken apologies mixing in with barely intelligible explanations of something Magnus can't even begin to understand, so frantic and terrified is his friend. Magnus doesn't know what to do because Alec is shaking and trembling, and, even in those first days when Alec had thought he was to be executed and his people punished at the first mistake he'd made, he'd never been like this.

Magnus tries to comfort him, making calming sounds and promising that everything will be okay, but Alec doesn't seem to hear him. Alec won't rise and Magnus hates it because this is how servants react to his father, so he slips to his knees at Alec's side.

Thanking all the gods that Alec doesn't flinch at his touch - Magnus doesn't know what he would do if Alec did - the story finally comes tumbling out, Alec still refusing to meet his eyes.

Asmodeus and his retinue had been drunk, but Alec is well enough used to that. The casual slurs and violence they throw his way are what Alec has come to expect when he is called to serve the King.

(Magnus is livid at this unthinking confirmation. Alec is too quiet, too resigned to complain, has never mentioned this to him before - though Magnus had certainly suspected - and Magnus can do nothing but seethe helplessly as Alec mentions it as though it is nothing.)

But something had changed midway through the evening - there'd been a new horror lurking in the glint of Asmodeus' eyes. He'd grabbed Alec the next time he'd been close enough and forced him on his lap, laughing and wondering to the crowd exactly how well the Crown Prince of Idris would warm his bed.

Alec had panicked.

He keeps apologizing to Magnus and Magnus has a sudden, horrified image of Alec having grabbed a knife and slit his father's throat and the two of them having to run to escape charges of attempted regicide (because obviously Magnus isn't letting Alec run away by himself), but Alec keeps going and finally Magnus understands what had happened.

Alec claimed himself to be Magnus' bed slave instead- the only thing the King would have accepted as a reason for Alec to say no. Alec has no rights of his own in Edom. Only if Alec already belonged to Magnus, a possession that would irritate Magnus if someone else used it, could he refuse.

But Asmodeus won't hide this.

Asmodeus will think it hilarious, and Magnus heart stutters in his chest because he can't deny it without condemning Alec to the executioner's block now that it's been said.

Everyone will believe that Magnus cares not for consent and has chosen to use a former Prince and defeated enemy in the basest way possible.

And he cannot deny it.

But Magnus swallows his horror and holds Alec to his chest, running his hand soothingly across Alec's back until the trembling subsides and his exhausted friend is nearly falling asleep in his arms.

Tomorrow will be one of the hardest days of Magnus' life, but he will do anything to spare Alec from his father.

Anything.

[Insert Happy Malec Ending]

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE MAN WHO STARTED IT ALL.

Magnus Bane, the man that you are,

Thank you for being an inspiration to everyone. To being the most chaotic, funniest, smartest person in the world. You’re a proof that people do not just have to stick to one thing. They can be funny and smart and beautiful and idiotic all at once.

If you die at the end of TWP, I will simply burn the entire world but, before me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood or the warlock gang or your two heathens would.

To the best, most-idiotic man, friend, mentor, father, lover and husband, you’ve been a permanent fixation since I was 13 so I don’t know what the heck you were talking about in the bane chronicles.

I love you ❤️🌻🌈