#alas. riddled my boy with depression

[toast-in-a-cowboy-hat]

And the universe decided to make that ironic

[candyclan]

Coming out letter to my mom. (FTM) At the start of my transition, I wanted to go by a name that started with an “A”because my birthname did. All the rest of it is basically the same.

THE TRUTH:

I didn’t scream “I am a boy” at my parents. Honestly, my mother (specifically) controlled a lot of what I did, who I hung out with, and what I wore as a child. I believe she has/had an idea about what she wanted out of a daughter since I was born, and really just lived through me. I think she eventually had to give me room to make my own decisions, later in life. I didn’t come out until I was 16, although I had spent 6 months prior to even coming out thinking about my gender identity. I was extremely sheltered. I want you guys to know that I didn’t know what being transgender was until I was a freshman in high school and met my best friend (who is STILL MY BEST FRIEND TODAY) who identified as Non-binary gender fluid. I had never really met someone AFAB that lived to be anything other than female. With that came the knowledge that sometimes, men don’t necessarily have to have penises and I can wear whatever I’m comfortable with. I used to be religious in middle school (raised Christian) but I never found god. It never made sense to me how so many people can put their faith in other people’s ideas of what god is (the Bible) but not listen when their real CHILD comes to them and tells them that they feel uncomfortable in their gender identity. I also came out as bisexual in middle school, after meeting a girl I had a fancy for. To which my mother sobbed and cried and asked how she had failed as a parent. I remember loving pink, it was my favorite color. Pink, purple, blue. My top 3. Now it’s blue, pink, purple but basically the same. I had a pink room, loved hello kitty, let my mom curl my hair with little curlers at night so I could wake up and be somebody different the next day. My brother played with carebears and my Barbie dolls more than I did as a child. I remember a toy gun and handcuffs. I was fairly experimental as a child, I did: Girl Scouts, swimming, piano, soccer, ballet, cheerleading, and more honestly. I always got “boy” toys at McDonald’s (I mean cmon they’re cooler) I just was kinda everywhere. I feel like that’s easier for someone AFAB to be. My brother was harassed by my family for liking girly things but I was never shown that I couldn’t like stereotypical “boy things” by extended family. My mother however in the line at McDonalds I could never forget, turned and looked at me (baseball cap backwards tank top and shorts)and said “So, what?” “Are you batting for the other team” implying that because of the clothes I liked to wear I would be a lesbian. My mother (like I said, kinda controlling and extremely narcissistic) when I was allowed to cut my hair super short for the first time I was 16. Afterwards she has said things like: “but you’re so pretty how could you have cut your hair” “you looked so nice with long hair” I never felt akin to femininity. I was actually VERY uncomfortable with it. I hated being the “weaker” gender. I never wanted my nails painted. It was torture. I acted like makeup and and nail polish was torture, the hairbrush was my enemy. I used to just put my hair up in a low ponytail every day as I got older. I knew she’d never let me cut it all off. Basically, other than wanting to grow up strong and tough and not liking to be treated like a female, I was female. There were parts of being female I didn’t really have a problem with, and honestly that’s why I didn’t come out for so long. I wasn’t in a house or raised by people I knew would accept anything other than me being their “little girl” I was a daddies girl. So between my lack of understanding of where my feelings towards my gender roles were coming from, being encouraged by my family to be girly, not being exposed to gender diversity (or anything queer), and my controlling mother, I remained in the dark about who I was.

TRIGGER WARNING:::(abuse)::::: I was never close with my mother, and actually hated her growing up. To this day she is the most judge mental, self-centered woman I know. My father was funny, charismatic, and lost his shit sometimes. I like to say, 90% of the time he was amazing. We made jokes and could literally finish each other’s sentences. But honestly my father, 10% of the time was abusive. Most of my abuse in my life was covert (narcissistic abuse from my mother) and verbal/emotional/barely physical abuse from my father. He’s 6”3’ 350 lbs and very loud and scary, especially to a young child. He punched a hole in my wall, he threw a remote at a wall and shattered it to pieces, he threatened to kill my dog with a baseball bat in front of me. Which I swear to god he would have done if I wasn’t holding my dog, protecting him. These moments were few and far between, but they were riddled with insults and almost always left me with less than I started with. My father did spank my brother and I, and one time he clapped my brother so well that he left a purple hand mark on his butt. My mother told my father she’d take us away if that happened again. My father never left marks. He never had to, he was so big and would just get up in my face and scream at me. He made me feel helpless. Because he was invading my space I felt physically threatened, and he never actually had to touch me and leave bruises because that threat was already implied by invading my space. I was so young, but I always knew my family wasn’t right. Finally at 16, I stood up to my father for the first time. I didn’t care if he was bigger than me, I didn’t care if I would lose, I was willing to fight for me. Anyway, long story short the police were called because we were screaming at each other in front of his apartment building. I’m not going to say I didn’t fuck up as a teenager, but I never deserved the pressure and the abuse he was dishing out and had dished out my whole life. I knew that. I cut him out of my life just after turning 16, by then I had been questioning my identity. It became easier after leaving my father to fall into who I was. My father is FAIRLY religious and my mother claims to be but she never talks about god, she never prays, and now that my father and her are divorced I don’t think she’s been inside a church since. Losing my father was a lot, despite his abuse he and I were really close and had really similar personalities. The reality of abuse isn’t “well, now I see them as an abuser so now none of that good stuff is left it’s all tainted” I had to struggle with losing someone very important in my life at a young age, for myself.

Arguments against me being trans:

My family has been a bit divided in responding to me coming out. By now, it’s been about 4 years.

My mother and her side of the family are in denial. They don’t understand how I can’t be a “lesbian that just likes boy things”. They don’t use my name or pronouns.

My father, what little communication I have with him now, is bewildered. He and I had a discussion this past Christmas where I brought up what his abuse did to me mentally and he apologized but then tried to say “well what about your part in all of this” and said that I was hanging out with crazy depressed people, cutting myself, doing drugs, (I was smoking weed and I’ve tried acid like once piss off) and was sneaking out. Yeah. I did do all of that BUT GUESS WHAT. IM 20. I go where I wanna go. I fuck who I wanna fuck. I smoke what I want and guess what? It’s not any different from when I was 16 except now I don’t have parents up my ass telling me what to do. His argument basically was that I need to own up to what I did too and that fucking angered me. You don’t apologize and then go “well what about you” that’s not an apology. That’s deflection and honestly I don’t think I need to apologize because my parents were super controlling. I was just trying to do what I wanted and they didn’t like it. He and I have talked about me being trans and he pretty much thinks I’m certifiable. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

My brother: Ethan, my brother and I have always been close. He’s 17 now, and he had a different reaction to me being trans. Of all of my family he was the most receptive to my pleas of gender dysphoria and he suffers with anxiety so he gets stuff. But alas, after asking him if he’d call me by my name and pronouns (after 4 years of being out) he thinks that I am the one that has an issue with society. I told him I was starting T soon and he said: “Hrt won’t lessen all the things that come with being transgender. If you feel like doing hormones is the best for you then do it, but from a logical standpoint I think there just needs to be more thickening of skin” he claimes that if I try hard enough I could be fine living as female. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

None of my family supports me. None of my family understands. And none of them ever will. I have been out for four fucking years. I can’t tell you how frustrating family rejection can be. I have cried so much at the idea of not having a supportive family. I feel like I was ripped away from a beautiful life somewhere and thrust into this mess.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter, the world keeps spinning and I keep finding people who love and accept me for who I truly am. I have made peace with my family’s lack of acceptance. It’s made me stronger and more compassionate towards others. Made me want to be better than them. I am actually going to start hormones soon, and on top of other fears I have, will be cutting my family out of my life. I can’t be 25 with a full beard and getting misgendered by my family. I can’t do it. They may feel like I’m going too far, that I don’t have to do this, but I do. I’m not doing this because I didn’t get too much attention as a kid or my mom favored my brother over me, I’m not doing this because it’s cool, I’m not doing this because I’m bored, I’m not doing this because I hate myself or anyone else. This is AFFIRMATION. Sometimes, cutting people who can’t see you for who your really are out of your life is affirming too.

Guys, girls, people, keep your head up. Things get better, I know. I thought life was never going to get better so I know that’s what it can feel like. But it does. Never ever let someone control your life or who you are. You’re beautiful/handsome/amazing! You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin and to love who you are. I am getting there, we all are.

Love,

Tanner M.

[angelofmysteries]

Placing this under a read more, because it does get rather spoilery, and I don’t want to do that to anyone who hasn’t finished the fic)

My heart....has been shattered. In the span of....I wanna say, about twelve or thirteen hours, I have finished it. Hauntingly has been completed, and my heart has been ripped in two. 

Heh. It’s kind of funny, actually. I thought yesterday that this was helping with the depression and now I think it might be worse ^^ All in jest, of course. 

So, my dear @alysae, here we are. I think I might have just read the most beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

So, where do I start? I think, with the admission that I’m damned determined to read every single thing you’ve recommended to me, just like I’m still determined to eventually read all 4-5-hundred-something of Lomonaeeren’s Harry Potter fics. I can’t wait to dive into the next rec! 

As for the screaming and crying that comes from reading Hauntingly....I have seen. and I have done. Alas, I have realized the truth - once you enter this ship, you can never leave. It ensnares you, and in tears and pained cries, I have become willingly trapped ^^

Last time we ‘spoke’, I had just finished chapter ten. And now, I am finished altogether. As I stated, it might be the most beautiful masterpiece I’ve ever been graced with. It’s been quite some time since I’ve fallen this in love with a fanfic. 

I can’t even name my favorite part. One of them, I know for a fact, was when they found the damn radio and blasted that Queen song after Hermione and Ron got back from Gringotts. That was such a beautifully lively scene, and I loved all the other moments like it. Harry and Malfoy thundering through the house after the snitch in particular gave me a good laugh, as did the two of them getting drunk and smoking ^^ Moments like this gave me an inexplicable happiness, and it is those little slice of life things that I love most in a fanfic. 

I cried a little when Riddle was killed. The horcrux, I mean. I have an entirely different slew of words for the ending. Despite my nervous anticipation on how Harry’s “subconscious” would betray him (because I knew, I knew the entire time that it had to be Voldemort, and that it couldn’t possibly end well), I fell in love with Harry’s appreciation (and later, love) for him. And the piano, that cursed piano...I don’t blame Harry for never touching it again. No lie, for a time, I was convinced that Riddle was the horcrux inside of Harry, not the locket. That never occured to me until it became obvious.

Despite my sadness throughout this fic, I really did enjoy the interactions between Severus, Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Draco. Those precious moments were like a golden beacon of sunshine in the dark.

I loved getting to see through Voldemort’s eyes throughout this fic. How he went through grief and denial (Especially the whole “I will light a pyre for you” thing, that made me swoon in happiness!) and eventually got Harry back when the little fucker fucked up by hissing out his name when he was accidentally possessing Nagini. That poor snake, (s)he never deserved any of that. 

No lie, I am a hardcore Drarry shipper. I think I love it more than actual canon. However, in this fic....hoo boy, even the hints were rubbing me the wrong way! I love how they could have been, nonetheless, but just never were. I’m just as glad, I didn’t want it for this fic. 

Now...Hogwarts. I love how that transpired. I loved Harry and Draco going off against orders to help out, and I love how Harry “defeated” everyone at the end of it. The stag patronus lure was absolute perfection, and another of my favorite parts of the fic. It made me feel so elated that Voldemort stopped whatever the fuck he was doing and went after it, it was just another show of how far he’d fallen.

And the “I am the chosen one” bit at the very end of that, HOO BOY! I screeched it out loud in triumph, because that literally could not have gone better, the planning (or possible lack, thereof) and execution was flawless and it dropped me back down to just how much I really loved the fic. 

And then....afterwards. The dreams. Oh, how I love that the dreams were always a major thing in this series! I love how Harry’s dreamscape turned into the jail room with the phones, and how badly that pissed off Voldemort at first, that he couldn’t get to Harry. I loved the negotiations, all of them, and I love how it seemed like Harry and Voldemort were falling in love throughout these conversations. You know, until Morty went and fucked it all up by going through Harry’s mind and tracking him down to Hogwarts. That dummy, he was doing it all wrong! ^^

The elephant in the room. That was an especially nice touch, methinks. I was already at work at that point, and it gave me a good laugh, brightened my night. 

I loved Voldemort’s judgment day. I loved getting to see his entire (not-completely-canon) backstory, but I will admit, a thing or two surprised me - for one and most importantly, the only one I can think of - the dreams. Even though it was Voldemort’s most heinous act, I was surprised that Dumbledore didn’t use those as the example of Voldemort falling in love with Harry. Because that’s when it really started, after all, although the example he did use was beautiful and tragically sad. (Even so, I personally would have used the negotiation dream where Voldemort told Harry he was perfect. That one especially made me swoon.)

It made me so happy when Voldemort finally accepted, and then when he and Harry reunited. (THAT SMUT THO!!!!!!!) It was such a beautiful sequence of chapters and of the story, that I hated every second that I spent not reading it. I just. I loved all of chapter 46, and then things went so awry. 

I thought he was dead. I screamed out a very loud “What?!” When I finished chapter 47, and when I finished, I debated not going on. I thought that surely, the next few chapters were just of Harry recovering from the dramatic ordeal only to walk off into the perfectly okay fucking sunset with his friends and Ginny by his side. Obsidian wrote in the end notes that it wasn’t over, and I was all like “yes it fucking is, you liar” - whoo, I felt so betrayed! 

And then, heartbroken, I went on. I won’t lie, I really did feel kind of numb. Nothing else mattered any more, especially not my godforsaken customers, screw them all to hell. (Really, I do hate the vast majority of them. I spent my night wishing they would all just go away so I could finish the story in peace. Alas, I finished it while my car was warming up at 7:00 this morning)

I found out that no, it really wasn’t the end. Voldemort was alive, and everything could be okay. I was so sure that Harry was going to swoop in and steal him away from Azkaban, and that everything would be all fine and dandy. (Luna is really such a precious gem, she doesn’t get enough credit!) I really loved how Harry escaped from Saint Mungos - like, only he could ever be dumb and lucky enough to do that ^^

And....alas. The ending. My heart must have been beating a million miles a minute in the stolen seconds away from my manager (who had and has no idea what I’ve been up to my entire shift), and every word threatened to send me into either a happily screeching or sadly wailing mess. 

I hated it.

But oh, how I loved it. 

I wanted to cry so much when the Department of Mysteries first came up in that final chapter. I just knew in that moment that they were going to shove him through the veil, and how fitting it was to end where it had all begun. 

And yet, Harry.....he surprised me. But I love what he did the most, because rather than hide away on Earth, he embraced death with Voldemort in one of his first and most selfish acts ever and stole him away in a different way. Because, if Harry couldn’t have Voldemort, then the world couldn’t have Harry. And how I loved that it had to end this way.

But wait! That wasn’t the end! Even before the epilogue, we were treated to the ending of Draco’s memoir (which I sorely wish was an actual book so I could read that, too) and I love how the ending of his book was Harry’s prologue. I loved his prologue too.

And then, what I consider to be the actual end of this fic. The epilogue. I had only one word as I finished the very last sentence.

“WHAT?!” 

Quite literally, I have never, and I mean never been so caught off guard by the ending to literally anything. Not even the ending of Voltron S2. 

I loved it though.

You must be getting tired of me saying that I love things, but how can I not? The words literary masterpiece hardly does this justice. This odd little conversational review can’t even do this thing justice. I can never say enough. 

There is one thing I’ve been refraining from mentioning for the very most part, one thing that’s got me so pissed off that I want to scream.

Severus Snape. 

I’m not mad at the writer (how could I ever be?????????????), but I am very, very angry with the character. 

I will never forgive him.

In all of his manipulations, in everything he has done, I knew that I couldn’t like him anymore the moment he hurt Harry in the room of requirement, just to get back at Voldemort.

I was blind, but now....I see. I should have known Harry going to Voldemort was really a trap. I should have understood, and known that of course Snape had an endgoal, he could never let Voldemort go free after the “crown of Lily Evans’ screams” comment, and I halfway can’t blame him, but damn. How blind I was. 

I was so happy, and yet, he ruined it all, shattered my hopes and dreams, and I can never forgive him for that. May he be chased by Rita Skeeter until the end of his days. (And yes, I’ve gone on to The Master of Death ^^)

So...here we are. The end.

To start, I want to thank you, my bookish little friend. Had you never fallen into Tomarry yourself, I would have never gotten into it, and I would have never asked you for reading recommendations. Thank you, thank you for recommending this to me. My faith has not been falsely placed, and I want to think I can call you a friend. 

(By the way, as for my quick reading speed - VanillaGhost called me Great Devourer of Words - I think I like the nickname, and I’ll be keeping it ^^ Truly though, this might be the fastest and most feverishly I have ever read something, even above The Hunger Games.)

And as for my last major thank you....it goes to you, @obsidianpen. Thank you, for creating such an ensnaring story, and thank you for writing. You are a literary idol to me now, and I greatly look forward to reading everything else you’ve written.

[gdrunplugged]

#RUSSIANROLETTE Il nostro Filippo Guaitamacchi accetta una #SFIDAIMPOSSIBILE per il #GIOCHIAMOA di martedi 24 settembre! Leggere e facilitare uno A CASO tra questi 794 (SETTECENTOVENTIQUATTRO) GIOCHI!!! STASERA ALLE 18 L'ESTRAZIONE CASUALE IN DIRETTA!!! #telegram #twitter #Feminism (Misha Bushyager, Lizzie Stark, Anna Westerling et al., 2017) 100 Creepy Things... 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Dymphna Coy, 2018).pdf Dresden Files RPG (Evil Hat, 2010-2015) Dungeon World (Sage LaTorra _ Adam Koebel, 2012) Dungeons - A Solo Adventure Game (Shane Garvey, 2012).zip Dungeons o f Dekkom 0.1 (Mazur _ Goats, 2019) Durance (Jason Morningstar, 2012).zip Dusk City Outlaws Dust Devils - Revenged (Matt Snyder, 2006).pdf Dust Wardens (Nora Blake, 2019).pdf Dust, Fog & Glowing Embers - A Roleplaying Game of Alchemical Adventure Eden (Marc Hobbs, 2017).pdf Effigy (HB, 2019) Ehdrigohr (Allen Turner, 2012) Ekphrasis (Barak Blackburn, 2019).pdf Eldritch High (John Wick, 2011).pdf Elfs (Ron Edwards, 2009).pdf Embers of the Forgotten Kingdom Endless Waltz (Nora Blake, 2019).pdf Engine Heart (Viral Games, 2010-2013).pdf English Eerie (Scott Malthouse, 2017).pdf Entra il Vendicatore (Raffaele Manzo, 2013-2014).pdf EotE Beginner Game.pdf Epimas 2014 Epitaph (Anna Anthropy, 2019).txt Epyllion (Marissa Kelly, 2016) Escape From Dino Island (Sam Tung _ Sam Roberts, 2019) Escape from Tentacle City (Willow Palecek, 2009).pdf Esoterroristi (Robin D. Laws, 2008-2011).zip Eternal Contenders - screen (Joe J. Prince, 2012).pdf Everyone is John (Michael Sullivan, 2002-2019) Executive Decisions Exodus (Erika Shepherd, 2019) Exploding Kittens Explorers v. 1.2 (Daniel Comerci, 2015-2016) ExSpelled (Andrew Miller, 2017) Extreme Earth - Fate (Jon Gibbons _ Joe Bardales, 2015).pdf Eyes and Hands Facade (Nora Blake, 2018).pdf Faith - Daniel Hodges.pdf Fall of Magic (Ross Cowman, 2015) Familiars of Terra Backer Preview.pdf Fantaji - Universal RPG.pdf Farewell to Fear (David A. Hill _ Filamena Young, 2012).pdf Farflung - Sci-Fi Role-Play After Dark Fastlane - Everything, All the Time (Todd Crapper, 2004).pdf Fate Core Fate of the Norns Ragnarok - Second Edition (Andrew Valkauskas, 2013).pdf FateLess (Alessandro Piroddi, 2015-2016) Fates Fickle Winds (Nathan D. Paoletta, 2014).pdf FELINE DREAM-O-NAUGHTS AND THE GREAT CAT NAP! Fellowship (Jacob Randolph, 2015-2017) Feng Shui 2 (Robin D. Laws, 2015).pdf Fiasco (Jason Mornistar, 2009) Fiction (Elin Nilsen _ Ole Peder Giæver, 2013).pdf Finley _ Hayden (Jaon Morningstar, 2018).pdf Firefly (Margaret Weis Productions, 2014).pdf First Ride_Last Ride (Jason Morningstar, 2017).pdf Flame (Valentina Monacelli, 2019) Fleshscape (Emanuele Galletto, 2017) Flotsam (Joshua Fox, 2019) Follow (Ben Robbins, 2017).pdf For the Dungeon (Jordan Palmer, 2019) Forest Keeper (Giovanni Micolucci, 2012).zip Fortune’s Fool (Jay Stratton, 2012).zip Four Ways to Die in the Future (P. H. Lee, 2019).pdf Fragment (Dale Elvy, 2016).pdf Freemarket (Luke Crane _ Jared Sorensen, 2009).rar Full Moon (Paul Stefko, 2013).pdf Funnel World.pdf Game Poems (Anna Anthropy, 2018).pdf Ganakagok (Bill White, 2006) Gang Rape (Tobias Wrigstad, 2008).pdf Gate Watch (Christopher Allen, 2019).pdf Gazetteer - A Gygaxian Storygame (Kimberley Lam _ Levi Kornelsen, 2019).pdf Gears of Defiance (Ryan Schoon, 2019).pdf Geiger Counter EN (Jonathan Walton, 2008).pdf Geist the Sin-Eater Genesys - Core Rules.pdf Ghost Lines Gilded Age (Nathan D. Paoletta, 2014).pdf Gioventù Bruciata (Robert Bohl, 2010) Girl Underground (Lauren McManamon _ Jesse Ross, 2019) Glass Free Games - Jerkform Anthology Vol. 1 (David Hertz et al., 2016).pdf Glow in The Dark Goalposts & Gridirons Golden Sky Stories (Ryo Kamiya _ Tsugihagi Honpo, 2006) Good Society - A Jane Austen RPG (Hayley Gordon _ Vee Hendro, 2018) Grey Ranks EN (Jason Morningstar, 2007).pdf Gruel Truck! (David Kizzia, 2017).pdf Guts _ Glory Hack the Planet (Fraser Simons, 2019) Hack-Enhance 0.2 (Eric Mersmann, 2019).pdf Hair Metal Horror (Aaron Frost, 2019) Halfway Home Hamlet_s Hit Points.pdf Happy Birthday Robot.pdf Harder They Fall (Jay Iles, 2018) Harsg Generation (Emily O’Neil, 2019) Haunted (Nathan D. Paoletta, 2013).pdf Haven Heads of State (Mark Vallianatos, 2012).pdf Headspace (Mark Richardson, 2016) Heavy Metal Thunder Mouse (Derek A. Kamal, 2018) Hell 4 Leather EN (Joe Prince, 2010).pdf Hell for Leather (Sebastian Hickey, 2010) Hero Kids - Fantasy RPG .pdf Hero’s Banner (Tim C. Koppang, 2006).pdf Heroine (Josh Jordan, 2013) Heroines of the First Age High Plains Samurai (Todd Crapper, 2018) Hillfolk (Robin D. Laws, 2013) Hogshead - Puppetland _ Powerkill.pdf Hogwats RPG Hollowpoint 1.1 (C. W. Marshall _ B. Murray, 2011).pdf Home by Dark (Jason Olsan, 2017).pdf Honor Bound (Randy Lubin _ Jason Morningstar, 2018).pdf Hot Guys Making Out (Ben Lehman, 2013).pdf Hot War (Malcolm Craig, 2008).pdf House _ Home (Jason Brown, 2019).pdf House of Reeds (Sam Kabo Ashwell, 2015) Houses of the Blooded - Blood _ Honor (John Wick, 2010) How to Host a Dungeon (Tony Dowler, 2008).pdf How We Came to Live Here (Brennan Taylor, 2009).zip HQ 2.0 - Nameless Streets - A Supernatural Noir Game (alg0200).pdf Huddle (Gaia Sicolo, 2019).pdf Human Contact (Joshua A.C. Newman, 2011) Hunt the Wicked (Ben Dutter, 2016) Hunter the Vigil Hyakumonogatari Kaidankai (Julia B. Ellingboe, 2012).pdf I Am a Survivor (Zachary Wolf, 2011).pdf I Hate This Town (Renee Reeves, 2019) I_Miti_di_Korcol_(7714024).pdf I’d Like to Go Home Now Please (Tom Fendt, 2016).pdf Icarus (Spenser Starke, 2019) Il Mio Fantasy (Giovanni Micolucci, 2014) Il Mostro della Settimana (Michael Sands, 2012_ Narrattiva, 2013).pdf ilrichiamodigatthulu Imp of the Perverse (Nathan D. Paoletta, 2019) Impulse Drive (Adrian Thoen, 2019) In a Wicked Age (D. Vincent Baker, 2007).pdf Incidental Chain of Worlds Indie_Mixtape_Megamix_(10398951).zip Inept Sorcerers.pdf Infected (Levi Kornelsen, 2018) Inglorious.pdf Innocents (Manuel J. Sueiro, Ángel Paredes, Javier Santos, 2007-2017).pdf InSpectres (Jared A. Sorensen, 2002-2003) INTERIM Interstitial Into the Woods (Morgane Reynier, 2017).pdf Into_The_Odd_Print.pdf Iron Edda (Tracy Barnett, 2014-2015) Ironsworn It Came to Town That Night (Tracy Barnett, 2014).pdf It’s Complicated (Elizabeth Shoemaker Sampat, 2007-2010) Itras By (Ole Peder Giæver _ Martin Bull Gudmundsen, 2012).pdf Jack’s Trick (Matthew McFarland, 2019).pdf Jadepunk.pdf Journey Away (Jacob S. Kellogg, 2018).pdf Juggernaut (Jason Morningstar, 2015) Just Heroes KaGaymatsu Kagematsu (Danielle Lewon, 2009).pdf Katakumbas Manuale Base.pdf Katanas _ Trenchcoats—Pre-edit Build.pdf Kazekami Kyoko Uccide il Kublai Khan (Jonathan Walton, 2006).pdf KDL QSR Alpha 0_1.pdf Kerberos Club (Benjamin Baugh _ Mike Olson, 2009-2011) Kids on Bikes Killshot - The Director’s Cut (Todd Crapper, 2012).pdf King of the City (Alessandro Piroddi, 2015-2016) Kingdom (Ben Robbins, 2013) Kingdom of Nothing (Jeff Himmelman, 2010).pdf KingdomsofOoo WoDhack ALPHA.pdf Kintsugi (David Schirduan, 2016-2017) Kiss Her Before the World Ends (Alice Grizzle, 2019).pdf Kobold Endeavour (Grant Howitt, 2019).pdf Kult - Divinity Lost L’Amore al Tempo della Guerra (Mario Bolzoni e Luca Veluttini, 2012).pdf La spada e gli amori (Antonio Amato, 2017) Lacuna Part I. (second attempt) (Jared A. Sorensen, 2006).pdf Lady Blackbird ITA (John Harper, 2009-2010).pdf Lamentations of the Flame Princess Lasers and Feelings (John Harper, 2015) Last One Standing (Stephen Bretall, 2015) Le Notti di Nibiru (Daniele Fusetto e Luca De Marini, 2017).pdf Le Straordinarie Avventure del Barone di Munchausen (James Wallis, 1999).pdf League and Fathom (Levi Kornelsen, 2016).pdf Left Coast (Steve Hickey, 2015) Legacy 2e - Life Among the Ruins Legend of the Elements (Max Hervieux, 2016) Legends of Anglerre (Chris Birch _ Sarah Newton, 2010).pdf Legends of the Deep (Nora Blake, 2018).pdf Legends of the Guard Les Petites Choses Oubliées ENG (Sylvie Guillaume _ Christoph Boeckle, 2015).pdf Letter Bearer (Speak the Sky, 2019).pdf Letters that Will Never Arrive (Anna Anthropy, 2018).pdf Leverage - The Roleplaying Game (Margaret Weis Productions, 2010).pdf Life on Mars (Ross Cowman, 2013) Light on Stone (Anna Anthropy, 2018).pdf Liminal (Paul Mitchener, 2019) Little Fears (Jason L. Blair, 2001-2009) Lone Wolf Adventure Game (Joe Dever _ August Hahn, 2015) Lonely Timbers (Jason Pitre, 2018).pdf Lonely World - A Story-Telling Game of Survivalist Horror At the End of Everything Lord Scurlock (John Harper, 2015).pdf Lords Of Gossamer _ Shadow - Core Rulebook.pdf Lost in the rain Scan.pdf Love in the Time of Khvareneh (Matthijs Holter _ Jason Morningstar, 2016) Love in the Time of Seið (Matthijs Holter _ Jason Morningstar, 2010) Love Letters from the Baker House Band (Meguey Baker et al., 2019).pdf Lovecraftesque (Joshua Fox _ Becky Annison, 2016) Loving Fiercely (Kate Bullock _ Ryan Macklin, 2019) M.N.S.T.R. (Indigo McDonald, 2019) Machine of Death (David Malki, 2013).zip Madcap - Screwball Cartoon Role-Play Mage the ascension Magical Fury - A Magical Girl RPG Magicians (Kyle Simons, 2013).pdf Magister Lor (John Harper, 2015).pdf Maid (Ryo Kamiya, 2004-2008).pdf Malandros (Thomas McGrenery, 2016) Mall Kids (Matthew Gravelyn, 2019).pdf Mars Colony MASCHINE ZEIT - MAP0001.pdf MASH Moms in the PTA (Renee K Reeves, 2019).pdf MASHED (Mark Plemmons, 2017) Masks (Brendan Conway, 2016) Masks of the Mummy Kings (Nathan D. Paoletta, 2016).pdf Maze of the Blue Medusa Maze Rats v4.3 (Ben Milton, 2017) Mecha the RPG- Core Rules (Chris Perrin, 2010).pdf Mechnoir_120801.zip Meridian (Christian Griffen, 2016) Metempsychosis (Dymphna Coy, 2019).pdf Microfiction (Luca Bonisoli, 2017) Microscope (Ben Robbins, 2011-2015) Milkshake (Chris Longhurst, 2019).pdf Millenial Apartment Hunters (James D’Amato, 2016).pdf Misericorde (Boss Emily Care, 2013) Missing Files.txt Misspent Youth (Robert Bohl, 2010-2018) Mist-Robed Gate (Shreyas Sampat, 2007-2008).pdf Mobile Frame Zero - Firebrands Monster of the Week Monsterhearts 2e - A Story Game About the Messy Lives of Teenage Monsters Montsegur 1244 (Frederik J. Jensen, 2009).pdf Mortal Coil (Brennan Taylor, 2006-2008).pdf Motobushido (Nathanael Phillip Cole, 2013) Mouse Guard Roleplaying Game (Luke Crane, 2008).pdf Mummy the curse Murderous Ghosts (D. Vincent Baker, 2011).zip Murders And Acquisitions Musha Shugyo (Luca De Marini, 2014) Mutant Chronicles - Core Book 3rd Ed. - Modiphius.pdf Mutant Year Zero.pdf My Fantasy (Giovanni Micolucci, 2014) My Favorite Plaything (Eduardo Caetano, 2014).pdf My Jam (Eric Mersmann _ Jeff Dieterle, 2019) My Life with Master (Paul Czege, 2003) My Shadowed Heart (Jamila R. Nedjadi, 2019) Mystic Empyrean (D. Brad Talton Jr., 2011).pdf Mythender Roleplaying Game Mythic RPG Mythos Tales (Josh B. Mannon, 2013) Mythos World (Russel Brown, 2018).pdf Nahual_Quickstart.pdf Never Tell Me the Odds (David Somerville, 2019) Nicotine Girls.pdf Night Forest (Mo Golden _ Ross Cowman, 2018) Night Witches (Jason Morningstar, 2015) Nights Black Agents.pdf Nine Worlds - Aristeia Edition (Matt Snyder, 2005).pdf No Country for Old Kobolds (Steve Wallace, 2016) No More Room In Hell (Grant Howitt, 2019).pdf No Stone Unturned Nobilis.pdf Nod (Simon Carryer, 2014) Noir World (John Adamus, 2018) Noirlandia (Evan Rowland, 2016) Non andare nel bosco d’inverno.rar Nova Praxis (Mike McConnell, 2013).pdf Numenera (Monte Cook, 2013) Ocean (Jake Richmond, 2009).pdf Of the Woods - Lonely Games of Imagination (Brie Sheldon, 2017).pdf Okult (Wilhelm Person, 2013).pdf Omen (Daniel Comerci _ Alberto Tronchi, 2016) On a bed of moss (Anna Anthropy, 2018).pdf On Mighty Thews (Simon Carryer, 2011).pdf One Can Have Her 7th ed. (Jonas Ferry, 2007).pdf One Shot (Tracy Barnett, 2013) OPUS [Wizards Powered by the Apocalypse] Orgoglio e Pregiudizio (R. Grassi, 2013) Other Magic (Jesse Ephraim, 2019) Our Haunt (Jamila R. Nedjadi, 2019) Our Last Best Hope (Mark Diaz Truman, 2012) Our Mundane Supernatural Life (Vee Hendro _ Hayley Gordon, 2018).pdf Out-of-Dodge.pdf OVA_The_Anime_Role-Playing_Game_(6182477).pdf Over the Edge (Jonathan Tweet _ Chris Lites, 2019) Pacificadora! Pack of Strays (Phillip Wessels, 2018).pdf Pandemonio Panty Explosion.pdf Parsely (Jared A. Sorensen, 2018).pdf Pasion De Las Pasiones - Ashcan Edition Pataphysic Wander (Alberto Tronchi, 2017).pdf Perfect (Joe Mcdaldno, 2010).zip Perfection (Jason Morningstar, 2019).pdf Perseverant (Ben Dutter, 2017) Phasers + Photons Phones of Glory (Jason Morningstar, 2018).pdf Pickets _ Blinds (Kevin Allen Jr., 2011).pdf Pigsmoke (Chris Longhurst, 2017) Playing Nature’s Year (Meguey Baker, 2015).pdf Plunderground Zine Poet Glorious (Kimberley Lam, 2018).pdf Poison’d (D. Vincent Baker, 2007).pdf Polaris (Ben Lehman, 2005-2009) Posthuman Pathways (Jason Pitre, 2014) Praxis PreciousPDF__BR.pdf Pressure Drop (Eric Mersmann, 2019).pdf Primetime Adventures.zip Prism (Whitney Delaglio, 2018).pdf Project Ninja Panda Taco.pdf Promethean The Creater Psi Run italiano.pdf Punk as F__K (David Kizzia, 2018) Punks and the Fever Pitch (Linda H. Codega, 2019) Purgatory House (Robert Turk, 2018) Questlandia (Hannah Shaffer, 2014) Quilt Of Shadows Radioactive Bison (Jason Morningstar, 2018).pdf RavenDeath IT (Iacopo Frigerio, 2008).pdf Ready, Willing, Prepared (Nora Blake, 2019).pdf Red Like Roses Pt. III (Nora Blake, 2019).pdf RedMarkets.pdf Reflections (Jim McClure _ Tobie Abad, 2016).pdf Remember Tomorrow (Gregor Hutton, 2010).pdf RESISTOR Vol. 1 (Elissa Leach _ Kira Magrann, 2016).pdf Retrocalypse-8-18-11-Final.pdf Retrocausality (Paul Matijevic, 2019) Reunification (Travis D. Hill, 2019).pdf Revenant (Paul Stefko, 2012).pdf Revenant World Ribbon Drive (Joe Mcdaldno, 2013) Riders - A Game About Cheating Doomsday (Caias Ward, 2015) River Knife Trilogy Robber's Kin Romance Trilogy (Emily Care Boss, 2016).pdf Route Clearance (Andrew Millar, 2017).pdf Royal Blood v. 5 (Grant Howitt, 2016).pdf Ruma - Dawn of Empire (Martin Greening, 2017) Ryne Ryuutama - Natural Fantasy.pdf S-Lay w-Me (Ron Edwards, 2009).pdf Sagas of the Icelanders - A Roleplaying Game About the Lives Icelandic Settlers in The Saga Period Sail_the_Stars.pdf Scarlet Heroes Scarlet Wake (Ben O’Neal, 2017) Scheda Questlandia Italiano.pdf schedewip.pdf Schism (Nora Blake, 2018).pdf School Daze (screen) (Tracy Barnett, 2012).pdf Scum And Villany SCUP Preview April 2017.zip Sea Dracula (Nick Smith _ Jake Richmond, 2008).pdf.pdf Seat Five (Jason Morningstar, 2019) Seco Creek Vigilance Committee (Keith Stetson, 2018) Secrets _ Lies - Hardboiled Triple Feature (Daniel Bayn, 2011).pdf Seppuku (Emanuele Galletto, 2018) Serpent’s Tooth (Ross Cowman, 2012) Sertão Bravio Seven Wonders (Becky Annison et al., 2016) Sexytime Adventures Shahida (Ron Edwards, 2012) Shards - Worldbuilding Zine (April 2019).pdf Sharp Swords _ Sinister Spells (Diogo Nogueira, 2016) Shelter - Wartime Survival Shock - Social Science Fiction 1.2 (Joshua A.C. 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Jordan, 2016) Sixty Mile Sky - A Sci-fi Tabletop RPG by Ben Arndt Skew (Ben Lehman, 2013).pdf Skill Points (Daniel Kwan et al., 2019) Sky Deck (Jason Morningstar, 2019).pdf Smallville Roleplaying Game - The Watchtower Report (Margaret Weis Productions, 2011).pdf Sognami (Vas Quas, 2013).zip Solar System 1.1 (Eero Tuovinen, 2008).pdf Solipsist (David Donachie, 2008).pdf Something_to_Hide_(8879650).pdf Sorcerer Soth (Steve Hickey, 2015) Space Post (Jason Morningstar, 2019).pdf Spark (Jason Pitre, 2013) Spione (Ron Edwards, 2007) Spiralis - Lovecraftian Roleplaying Spire (Grant Howitt _ Christopher Taylor, 2018).pdf Spirit of 77 (David Kizzia _ Bob Richardson, 2015).pdf Spirit of the Century (Leonard Balsera _ Rob Donoghue _ Fred Hicks, 2006).pdf Spirit of the Season Upgraded Edition - cover (Atomic Sock Monkey _ Evil Hat, 2007).pdf Sporchi Segreti (Seth Ben-Ezra, 2007-2009) Star Crossed (Alex Roberts, 2018) Star Wars World Star Worlds - Streets of Mos Eisley Starblazer Adventures (Chris Birch _ Stuart Newman, 2008).pdf Steal Away Jordan - revised (Julia Bond Ellingboe, 2007-2008).pdf Stealing Cthulhu (home-edited).pdf Stories of Love in Manila (Jamila R. Nedjadi, 2019).pdf Story War (Brad O’Farrell _ Tom McLean, 2013).zip Strange Magic - Il gioco di ruolo fantasy old school (Stuart Robertson, 2016) Strange Nations (White Marble Block _ R. James Gauvreau, 2016).pdf Strangers (Hannah Shaffer, 2019).pdf Strings (Barak Blackburn _ Ellie Hillis, 2019).pdf Summer in Woodlake Summerland - Revised and Expanded Edition (Greg Saunders, 2009.pdf Summoner's Fate Sun and Daughter (Freeman Owle, 2019).pdf Super Destiny High School Rumble!! Super! (Chris Rutkowsky, 2008).pdf Superhuman Support (Wendy Gorman et al., 2016).pdf Swansong (Joe Prince, 2006).pdf Sweet Agatha (Kevin Allen Jr., 2009-2016).pdf Sword’s Edge (Fraser Ronald, 2017) Swords _ Wizandry Swords Without Master Synthesis (Riley Rethal et al., 2019) Tale - The Roleplaying Game Tales From The Loop.pdf Tall Pines (Miles Gaborit, 2017) Tears of a Machine (Russell G. 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Jordan et al., 2017) The Journey to the Whispering Tree The King is Dead The Known World (Samantha Day, 2019) The Ladykillers (Matt Snyder, 2013).pdf The Last One (Alberto Tronchi, 2012).pdf The Madstone (Jason Morningstar, 2019).pdf The Marquis of Ferrara (Pompey Crew Design, 2013) The Melon Child of Radnor (Jason Morningstar, 2018).pdf The Ministry Initiative (J. R. Blackwell, P. J. Schnyder, 2014) The Misery Index (Rudy Johnson, William H. Duryea, 2014).pdf The Mountain Witch (Timothy Kleinert, 2005).pdf The Name of God (Alessandro Piroddi, 2016) The Nightmares Underneath The NO Press RPG Anthology (Luke Crane et al., 2004).pdf The One Ring (Cubicle 7, 2011-) The Page I Didn’t Write (Lauren Bryant-Monk, 2019).pdf The Plant (Jason Morningstar, 2009).pdf The Princes’ Kingdom (Clinton R. Nixon, 2006).pdf The Queen’s Men (Matt Machell, 2018) The Questing Beast (James V. West, 2003).pdf The Quiet Year (Joe Mcdaldno, 2012) The Regiment The Reliquary The Rustbelt (D. 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