#alabasterswriting

[sparks-olivarpente]

Byler Fics List: the Grown-ups

I adore Stranger Things adult characters, here are some fics where they play an important part:

Until you wake up by Roxhylee Will is in a coma and Mike visits him every day. This one has some of the most thoughtful Ted-and-Mike chapters and an interesting take on Ted <3

Wedding at the End of the World (What do We Have to Lose?) by Julia_Skysong "Hang on, hang on," Jonathan interrupted, frowning slightly. "Let me do the math here. You've only been a…thing, for like a few days? And you want to get married?" "Dude, you're gonna get a new step-dad! Argyle cheered, trying to high five him. "Please for the love of GOD let me officiate this," Murray cackled. OR Joyce and Hopper decide to have a spontaneous wedding at the end of the world and help their kids figure out love and life.

Bananas and Closure by @tired-bisexual-brainrot Hopper runs into Diane while at the store. He invites her over for dinner, and she finds out that he now has a whole family with three kids and a wife.

No Cure for Queer by AlabasterInk (@alabasterswriting) Will Byers had about thirty minutes between realizing that the butterflies in his stomach came from appreciating Mike’s smile a little too much, to walking into his house and hearing Hopper say, “…wrong, Joyce. A guy with another guy. We used to arrest queers, you know…” And it all went downhill from there.

california show your teeth by @fireflywitch Fourteen months after a rash of unexplained disappearances tore an Indiana town apart, a new chief of police and his very normal, nothing-to-see-here family moves to Hawkins from Lenora Hills, California. "I wondered what it would be like if the Byers, El, and Hopper had grown up in Lenora Hills instead of Hawkins and moved to Indiana later on - how things would be different and what things would stay the same and which characters might be better off or worse off…" for Claudia and the Moms <3

You May Be the One Place I'm Sure About by elsie (the_technorats) the one where Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper finally have a moment to themselves. no byler here but you should read it all the same ;)

mom, i'm gay. wait, you are too? by dragons_like_smores @howtobecomeadragon “What if there are no men out there for me, Michael?” Mike, not focused at all on his mom, said absentmindedly, “Then maybe you can just date a woman.” Or: Mike unintentionally starts Karen's lesbian awakening while he simps for his boyfriend, Will, all summer long.

poor old jim's white as a ghost by AttaboyLuther Even when he started on the force back in 1980… Jim Hopper knew there was something special between William Byers and that brat Mike Wheeler. (AKA: Mike and Will fall in love, told through the perspective of one Chief Hopper)

and if you wanna cry or fall apart (i'll be there to hold you) by Strangerangels Mike Wheeler and his relationship with Will Byers, as told by Joyce Byers. Inspired by that scene in S2 where Mike holds Joyce and leads her into the car. Y'know, the one where Bob dies. You just know Mike is going to be the best in-law Joyce will ever have.

The Darkest Eyes by @light-lanterne a semi canon-compliant character study of mike wheeler, his unaddressed trauma and his relationship with will byers, told through the eyes of a very tired jim hopper who can’t help but to become attached to the boy who keeps dating his children.

The Right Thing by Nymphadoragreenleaf The second pregnancy was a mistake. They were basically at breaking point with only Jonathan and Lonnie didn’t want to have to work even more when he had already fulfilled his side of the bargain. He married her and they had a kid. What more did they expect from him (or Lonnie pov)

Benny's also by Nymphadoragreenleaf Officer Powell grimaces “The trespasser… he’s- chief it’s your misses youngest- the one who went missing a few years back.” (or Hopper pov)

some more Hopper: it's me, hi (everybody agrees) by @livsindelusion or 5 Times Mike Gets The Shovel Talk and 1 Time It's Will

and some Joyce! can't hold out forever by scorchstorm five times that others noticed how mike felt + the one time that will did.

Have fun reading :)

[hearttohaato]

“Papá,” [Camilo] whispered, his drowsy mind recalling the last time he was comfortably in his father’s arms, “are you still proud of me?”

Félix failed to keep his eyes from watering as he stroked Camilo’s hair, too focused on his son to see his wife and daughter starting to tear up again as well.

“Always, mi sol,” he murmured.

A scene from To Extinguish the Sun chapter 23, after all’s been said and done and the warm colored family is able to return home. This had actually been done for my good friend @alabasterswriting​ ‘s birthday back in September, but I’m hoping I can pull off more high-effort scene depictions like this one in the future!

Flats/lines only variants under the cut:

[jasontoddiefor]

*Me spamming your inbox because i have too many ideas and they won't go away so i'm gonna word vomit at you because you're to blame*. Vader time travel = facial expressions. He forgets people can see his face now. He has eyebrows! Sometimes his expressions don't match his words or his intonations. He could be annoyed and sound perfectly placid. He could be happy and sound perfectly placid. He's suddenly an open book and a book with a 5000 year old lock on it that someone forgot the key to.

“I’m to blame”? Pretty sure you’re the enabler between us two xD

BUT YES!

Jedi were not emotionless machines, but as schooled diplomats and currently Generals in a war that leaves millions dead, they have to keep neutral faces no matter what is said. Anakin, while always on the very expressive scale, could do it. It’s probably a skill he remembers from his childhood as well. He wouldn’t have snarled at Watto.

Vader though? This man hasn’t had to keep a straight face. Nobody would see it! Only around the Emperor would he have needed to show emotional control and that usually comes hand in hand with controlling your expressions

But otherwise??? Listen. He’s had to work with incompetent bastards for 20 years. The old Anakin would speak up when he thinks a plan is stupid but THIS Anakin? He doesn’t even try to sound diplomatic or ask leading questions. He is just standing there, arms crossed.

“Keep going,” he says whole everything in his face suggests you better shut up right now if you value your left hand. Given Anakin’s recent treatment of his own body limbs as expandable, you likely don’t want to test him

But also happy emotions!!! He lights up whenever a person he loves comes into the room!!! Like, 1000 Watt smile.

Can’t keep secrets at all anymore. Like, he used to be good at that. He hid an entire marriage and against common misconceptions, not many people actually knew about it! But now??? He’s a worse liar than 5 year old younglings.

Gestures in general! He did so much gesturing but the suit restricted like 90% of it. Now he’s all over the place!!!

But - to come to intonation - he has to relearn how to do that. His vocoder and his artitifical voice box used to maximize his voice. He used to speak in whispers, so all intonation he put into it was so small and then likely just got lost out loud.

So he just can’t remember how to put the effort into using intonation in a way that’s not subconscious. It doesn’t register as much in normal conversation, but when he actually thinks something is stupid you have like. Flat voice and a face that says “keep talking and I will knock you to the ground” what is super disorientating

[gffa]

Please do the fandom a favor and continue to confuse the hell out of actual Anakin haters. You are a blessing upon our dashes.

Honestly, I don’t really even have an issue with actual Anakin haters, because nobody’s obligated to like or dislike any given character.  The same goes for my faves, too!  Hate Obi-Wan if you want, it only impacts my life as much as I let it! (This is setting aside behavior towards other real people, where “don’t be an asshole to someone over a fictional character” is a motto I have long believed in.  People who just hate Anakin--which is different from just not really caring about him or particularly liking him!--and go about their day are doing it just fine.) Hell, nobody’s obligated to like or dislike the way I love a character!  If my “dumpster child Anakin is mine, I found him in the garbage fair and square!” approach isn’t for you, that’s actually really okay.  We all have approaches to characters that we don’t vibe with and we’re all allowed our space, so long as we’re not shits to other people about it. But the idea of trying to use my blog as Anakin hating fuel is just so entirely funny to me because I love him SO MUCH and I plaster his excellent face all over my blog and I spend the most time of any SW character (yes, even over the other prequels characters!) talking about Anakin, and I genuinely get this warm, gooey feeling when I think about and talk about him. Just because I make fun of him, that doesn’t mean it lessens that I genuinely find him to resonate the most with me, it doesn’t lessen that I find him to be the most like myself, it doesn’t lessen that I think his story is the best in Star Wars, it doesn’t lessen that I genuinely want him to be happy and that I get teary-eyed thinking about how hard it had to be to let go of all that hate and rage at the end of ROTJ, to return to the light, that ANAKIN SKYWALKER DID THAT AND IT HAD TO BE HARD HAS HELL. The idea of me making fun of Anakin fueling an actual Anakin hater is just really funny because five minutes of actually reading about how disgustingly affectionate I am towards him is pretty much the opposite of what I imagine an Anakin hater would want. Every post I make about Anakin Skywalker just makes me want to wrap him up in a blankie EVEN MORE THAN I DID BEFORE and I was already looking up soup recipes to make for him.

[ghostwriterofthemachine]

First sentence ask! The boy is warm in his arms and Obi-Wan weeps.

This just in, Ink knows what she want and what she wants is a very particular brand of Angst. This, unfortunately, ended up in a slightly different place. 

The boy is warm in his arms and Obi-Wan weeps. He walks, steady and slow, over the sand and back towards the child’s guardian’s homestead.

He’d watched the boy tumble, fall, fling out his arms to catch himself. He’d watched the universe itself reach up to catch him instead, as natural as it had always been to his father. He’d watched the little boy’s eyes, pooling and blue and familiar, widen in shock and then joy; Obi-Wan could imagine the music that he could suddenly hear, the Force singing to him for the first time. 

He’d approached the boy from behind, and returned his elated smile, and then carefully pressed a hand to his forehead and — plucked the memory away. Hid it behind a carefully crafted shield. Caught him when his eyes rolled up and he crumpled. 

Anakin, he thought, would kill him if he knew what he was doing to his son. 

[primeemeraldheiress]

Get yourself a bad things happen bingo!

I have been waiting for DAYS for this to come in.

I am so excited.

be very afraid

Completely unrelated, this is a reminder that my prompts are open.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Ahsoka and Rex meet the Skywalker twins for the first time after Mandalore. Please, give me Anakin being a proud daddy and Ahsoka and Rex running at Auntie and Uncle status like horses in a race. I need that fluff. Please!

Ahsoka Tano has a splitting headache. 

Between worrying over Anakin’s condition after his fight with the Chancellor (former Chancellor. He’s fled the planet), dealing with the Council’s turmoil in the wake of everything, Maul’s screaming from his little box, and finding out that Anakin not only been actively breaking the code by being in love with Padme (Ahsoka knew that already. She just didn’t expect it to now be out in the open)...

She is an aunt.

“I’m mad that you didn’t tell me,” she tells Anakin as she leans over the crib, gazing down at Luke and Leia adoringly. 

“I didn’t know until I got back from seeing you,” Anakin admits. He stands next to her, gripping the cane he’s using the keep himself upright. He’s pale, and battered. The doctors had informed Ahsoka, Obi-Wan and Yoda that he’d had a seizure from Palpetine- Sidious’ - attack, that had triggered a heart attack. She can tell he’s still getting used to the mechno parts implanted in his chest to keep him alive.

She’s never seen him move so slowly. 

“You wanna hold one?” Anakin asks, grinning. 

Ahsoka immediately swoops down for Luke, snuggling him gently. 

Anakin chuckles as he reaches down to scoop Leia up and against his chest. 

“I’ve never seen you this way,” Ahsoka comments. 

“What way?” he asks, titling his head. 

“Content,” Ahsoka grins. “Like this is all you’ll ever need.” 

Anakin thinks about that for a moment, rubbing Leia’s back with his thumb. 

Before he can answer, the doors to the nursery open, and Rex steps in. “General. Commander, I have news...to...” 

Anakin breaks out into a grin. “Hi, Rex.” 

“Are those...babies?” 

“Yes,” Anakin chuckles. “And they’re very excited to meet their uncle.” 

Rex stays planted by the door, just staring. 

Ahsoka huffs. “Rex, Anakin has been secretly married to Senator Amidala, and she gave birth less than a week ago.” 

“...Oh,” Rex says quietly, still in shock. 

“You’re right,” Ahsoka nods. “Anakin was a jerk for not telling us.” 

“Hey!” 

Rex shakes himself out of his shock, and frowns a little, obviously feeling awkward. “Er...so...congratulations, sir.” 

“Thank you,” Anakin grins, stepping over and shifting Leia down into his arms. “Here. Hold this.” 

Rex gives a very quiet yelp, as he gazes down at the infant, and can’t help smiling. “Hi there.” 

Anakin beams. “I’m glad you both made it back in one piece. Padme and I are going to need help. With the senate in chaos, and the Council still deciding whether or not expel me, it’s going to be a long year going forward.” 

“They can’t expel you!” Ahsoka cries. “After all you’ve done for them?” 

“I’ve broken the code.” 

“You also fought a war, lost your arm, been tortured, killed a Sith and helped root out another,” Ahsoka snaps, shifting Luke in her arms to get a better cuddling angle. “Aside from the fact that Sidious is still out there. They need you. Expelled. I should give them a piece of my mind.” 

As they bicker, Rex gazes down at Leia, letting her wrap tiny fingers around his thumb.

And he smiles. 

[dettiot]

Happy Birthday!!!! 🎉🎉🎉 for a prompt hmm, in the spirit of things, obi-wan and anakin celebrating one of their birthdays with each other, doesn’t matter whose:)) hope you have a wonderful day!!!

(thanks for the birthday wishes!)

It had been six months since he became Anakin’s master. And he still felt like there was so much he doesn’t know. About the Force, about how to train a padawan, about how to support Anakin in all the ways he needs. 

Even as Anakin’s strength in the Force was growing by leaps and bounds, Obi-Wan knew the boy is hurting. He was isolated from children his age, struggling to adapt to being free. 

So when he was going through Anakin’s records, and he realized what was happening in a few days . . . it’s against the Jedi Code, against how initiates and padawans are brought up, but--but Obi-Wan knew that Anakin needed this. 

It took going to a few friends, offering them favors or calling in ones he was owed, but by Anakin’s born day, he has arranged for a long-range holo unit to be set up in the quarters he shares with Anakin. And with Queen Padme’s assistance, everything was all set. 

Obi-Wan took Anakin to Dex’s for dinner, indulging the boy in one of those disgusting blue milkshakes he has always asked for. Seeing Anakin delightedly slurp up the beverage made Obi-Wan smile. 

Especially when he knew what was waiting for them in their quarters. 

As they walked into the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan took a breath. “Anakin, do you know what today is?” 

He scrunched up his face, bringing out the new planes that are starting to appear as his baby fat begins to melt away. “Umm . . . is it some important date in Jedi history that I really should know by now and you’re very disappointed that I don’t remember?” 

By the end of the sentence, Anakin was making his best attempt at Obi-Wan’s accent, and he had to laugh. “No, you little monkey lizard,” Obi-Wan said, ruffling Anakin’s hair. “It’s your born day.” 

Anakin’s face fell, but then he quickly smoothed out his expression. But his Force sense was still in turmoil as they entered their quarters. 

Of course, Anakin spotted the holo equipment immediately. “Master? What’s all this?” 

Obi-Wan smiled and stepped over, pressing a few buttons. “Sit down and see.” 

Anakin shot him a confused look, but then took a seat. As Obi-Wan connected the holo call, he turned to watch Anakin’s face. 

The moment Shmi Skywalker appeared on the screen, Anakin’s face--no, his whole Force presence--lit up. “Mom!” he said, standing up quickly and leaning closer to the comm. As if he wanted to be closer to his mother. 

“Ani,” Shmi said, tears in her eyes but a huge smile on her face. “Oh, you’ve grown!” 

“Mom,” Anakin repeated, sniffling. 

Obi-Wan patted Anakin on the shoulder. “I’ll give you some privacy. Happy born day, Anakin.” 

Before he could even begin to turn away, Anakin’s hand grabbed his. “No, Master! Please, stay.”

Now it was his turn to be confused. Anakin hesitated, then said quickly, “After all, Mom’s probably gonna have lots of questions and she’ll want to get the answers from you.” 

Obi-Wan wasn’t so sure about this. He didn’t want to intrude on Anakin’s call, especially since it was almost definitely the only time it would happen. But Anakin really seemed to want him to stay. He glanced at Shmi’s image, who gave him a warm smile. 

“Ani’s right,” she said. “Please, Master Kenobi, I need to know all the mischief Ani is getting into.” 

“Moooooom,” Anakin said, his cheeks going red. 

“Well, that might take up the whole holo call,” Obi-Wan said, before gently brushing back some of Anakin’s hair. “But truly, he has been a good student and a good boy.” 

That made Anakin begin chattering to his mother, the words flowing out of him. Obi-Wan fetched a chair and took a seat, watching his padawan look more relaxed than he had since they had met. 

And he found himself hoping this wouldn’t be the last time Anakin would get to talk to his mother.

End.

[mlmanakin]

The fact that you have an entire tag for anakin and ahsoka hugging is healing my broken bleeding heart.

[gizkalord]

Wait Hayden is back?!?!???

a small cameo!!

[padawanlost]

Thank you for feeding my Anakin-loving broken heart.

You’re welcome lol and thank you for enjoying my Anakin-loving pain feast :P

[scriptlgbt]

I'm writing a supporting trans character in a world where you can make almost any wish you want so long as you pay for it with something of equivalent value. My character wished to be female and her price was originally that she had to give up the love she had for her girlfriend (price being that in order to completely love herself she had to give what she loved most outside of herself), but now I'm thinking of taking her sight, so that she can't see herself. Is this okay?

With full honesty, and please do not take this personally, but there are a significant amount of problems with most of the things contained within this ask.

trans women are female

Please read: Writing Trans Characters: Corrections of Common Mistakes

I have a concern about the wording of “wishing to be female” and what exactly that means. Contrary to popular belief, biological sex is just as much a social construct as gender. (Please read this linked article, it’s vital reading for everyone IMO!) Of course, one of the biggest indicators of transness for a lot of people is ‘wishing’ to be some gender or another. But wishing to be a woman means that you are a woman, basically.

transness is not defined by hating your body

Here’s a post explaining what gender dysphoria actually is in a personal experience context.

Here’s an article I wrote a few years ago on Medium about my relationship with the “born in the wrong body” narrative of trans experiences.

identifying as a gender that isn’t what was assigned to you at birth is what generally defines transness - transition is not what that revolves around. you don’t need to change anything about your body to be who you are.

writing a magical transition properly

our magical transition tag 

forgoing a lot of things that trans readers would relate to (like bypassing all aspects of physical transition to get to the full maximum different body instantly) means forgoing a lot of the things which make having trans representation beneficial for trans readers

Personally, I would advise not having it be something related to just having one body go to another. It would probably be best to make the hormonal aspects one thing (maybe something that would replace one set of gonads with another, or provide access to herbs or medications that take care of hormones) and the surgical aspects another thing. (This is gone into more in the magical transition tag.)

Is your ‘equivalent value’ meant to encompass something the wisher or the wish-granter holds of value? Because it would probably work out fine to replace testes with ovaries as an equivalent thing, and having surgery stuff just replacing one type of body part for another. That’s still giving up something, theoretically.

Regardless though, I would try to at all costs, avoid making blindness inherently a bad thing. It’s difficult to live in the world as a disabled person where your body is seen like the worst fate. I could see it being potentially written okay if ableism is actually worked through in the story, including internalized ableism. (In which case I would have a sensitivity reader with the relevant identities to make sure it does actually read ok.)

- mod nat

[jasontoddiefor]

*poke poke* you can’t just leave the Vader medical horror time travel shit show like that! I need a 40 chapter fic!

Anon: More thoughts: did being set on fire damage anakins eye sight & did the mask let him see colour. Imagine being able to see colour for the first time in 2 decades. Is he able to recreate the rogue one death corridor or does the lack of armour change his fighting style that much. How many questions would people have if he did recreate the death corridor. Did he forget some of the clones after not thinking about them for 2 decades. He probably has medical trauma. Did he get anaesthetic as vader. 

You all just enjoy making Anakin suffer don’t you. I just spent 1 hour reading up on Vader’s health. I’m crying. To summarize Vader’s thoughts on his health from his Legends book: “This was not living. This was solitary confinement. Prison of the worst sort, continues torture.”

Anyway let’s talk about fighting style. 

Vader apparently never stops using the ‘saber form he already used as Anakin. He just maxes up the aggression level by 400%. So I imagine that after time traveling, his fighting style is wild. He had to make adjustments for the heavy armor and managed to keep his speed. He’s super aware of his limits (those being that he can still win any fight while being half-dead. Remember, he didn’t receive any anesthetics when he was put in the suit). So back in time, when provoked, he’s probably a force-damned terror.

He’s likely going to be twice as fast. He had to use the Force to be able to move at all as Vader. Now imagine all that skill and precision, that immense amount of control in a healthy body. He could absolutely recreate the Rogue One Death Corridor and it would be twice as deadly. Everything Vader did, he did while being literally on the brink of death. This is why all suitless Vader stories that make him just as overpowerful as regular damaged Vader are actually not making him strong enough. With the right drive, Anakin back in time could be twice as strong as Vader. Let that sink in. You think damaged Vader is already overpowered? He’d be nothing compared to this.

Everybody, quick be thankful this is a fix-it verse because you do not want this Anakin to be a Sith Lord.

We know that as Vader he could hardly lift his arms above his head, so he had to make adjustments for that. Now back in time, he can do that again, but he might still forget that he can do that. He’s gonna have to re-learn how to fight like that. Pretty much all Ataru moves he used to do as Anakin will have to be relearned as well.

I think this Anakin wouldn’t ever want to fight again. I mean, every time he spars with a Jedi, he’d likely get flashbacks to his huge collection of Jedi-killing moments. He’d be terrified of losing control. He didn’t “play with his food”, he was an efficient killing machine. I think Obi-Wan might tell him to stop holding back one day and Anakin accidentally almost takes his arm off. Hell, he might force himself to switch to Soresu. It seems like the least offensive combat form, so it’s the one with the least risks of going murder mode.

So let’s imagine that our favorite disaster lineage is attacked and Anakin gets separated from Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. And Anakin doesn’t just stop holding back, he goes all out. If it’s just droids, they get torn to shreds, but if it’s humans? Imagine the carnage he could leave. This is no slow-paced power stroll. This would be a fast-paced high-damage no-mercy assault. It’s not torture because he can’t waste time on such things, but seeing your comrades die like flies, knowing you’re next might as well be. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka would be shocked. I mean, there’S guessing what he is capable off based on Obi-Wan almost getting a matching metal arm, but then there is seeing Anakin walk through an army looking like he didn’t even break a sweat.

This man needs so much therapy. AREN’T WE GLAD THIS IS A FIX-IT AND ANAKIN KILLS SIDIOUS AND NEVER LIFTS A ‘SABER AGAIN.

On a different note - talking about senses again:

His eyes were damaged and when he could see, his vision was red. He likely hates the color now. Probably starts crying. Anakin used to be a p good artist, so I can see him taking up painting again and he just keeps painting colorful landscapes over and over.

His eardrum were melted on Mustafar. Anakin, now back in time, must think that the world was so loud and all noises so clear, without any static. He might actually experience sensory overload now that I’m thinking about it because all his senses as Vader were so freaking damaged, they must be super overwhelming him now

[gffa]

I can’t believe this is unpopular, but just because Watto wasn’t beating them 24/7 and seemed to appreciate them does not mean he was a “good” or “kind” master. Anakin should not be grateful to him for not being worse, nor should he act as if his childhood wasn’t completely traumatic.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree There can be discussion about how what the particulars of Watto’s treatment of Shmi and Anakin looked like, how not all slavery is the US history chattel slavery type, that we don’t have to make Watto a specific type of slave owner to be “bad enough” to be a horrible person, when slavery is evil and traumatic full stop. It doesn’t matter that we don’t have evidence that Watto physically beat Anakin or Shmi, that’s not the thing that defines whether Anakin’s childhood was good or bad, it’s that Anakin was literally owned by another person that’s the traumatic part.  Watto actively chose to own Anakin and Shmi, he actively tried to keep Anakin for himself specifically because Anakin was valuable to him, there’s nothing good or kind about that.

[jilyandbambi]

*me barging in the door like emperor kuzco* HOLY CRAP I LOVE THAT STORY! It was so well done and so incredibly well written. And the manipulation if Anakin broke my heart and Padme is doing her best but Anakin isn’t talking and SHEEV! Someone chuck man down a reactor shaft. This broke my heart but I also loved it so much. Anakin needs therapy and snuggles and more therapy and to become an engineer because he’d be great. Thank you for posting this story. It was amazing!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!! 

Lol tbh, it felt great to share it again. Although there’s always guilt at giving readers an unfinished project I’m glad people seem to be enjoying it. I wish back then that I’d had the time and confidence w/ the subject matter to write the multichapter story I had in mind, but like I said it was a nice experience to bring this story out again. Thank you for expressing interest and getting me to repost it! 

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Anakin for the character ramble :)

I have so much compassion for Anakin Skywalker, before he kneels for Palpatine. 

When I think of Anakin, I think a lot about his first nine years of life, spent on Tatooine as a slave, and what those first few years as a slave to Gardulla were like. How terrifying, packed in with his mother and fifty other slaves, and then to be sold, so young. To be terrified about who may buy you. if you’ll be able to stay with your mother. 

And then to be suddenly free a few years later, whisked away from your mother - the only family you’ve ever had - to an incredibly cold place with nothing but strangers who make you feel like you’ll never belong.

And then you spend your whole life feeling like you just...don’t belong. Wondering if your mother is alright. Wondering if you’ll ever get to free slaves like you always dreamed of doing. Trying so hard to do the right things and just never being good enough, despite being told you’re the chosen one. 

And then comes this one person, who does thing you’re worthy. Who really loves you, and you throw away everything for her because you don’t know what the fuck is going to fill the hole in your heart because NOTHING EVER HAS. 

And then, just as quickly as it starts, it all ends. With anger and fear and blood and insanity and screaming.  And you lose everything. And it’s all your fucking fault, because you made these choices. 

And there’s nowhere else to go, but down.