#aku's genuinely curious about atsushi

[ssaraexposs]

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THEY'RE ACTUALLY TALKING, WITHOUT FIGHTING EACH OTHER OR SCREAMING INSULTS

[iztea]

Would you ever be willing to draw atsushi, akutagawa, or other characters? They would look so ethereal in your art style imo

Also what are your thoughts on the recent chapter?

i have drawn Aku like. twice a while back which is a shame cause he's one of my faves and i like both him and atsushi and many other charas 😭 my Dazai exclusivity is purely accidental. He has me in a chokehold and brother, I've never been much of a fighter.

I've shared my thoughts on the recent chap on twt (more or less) so i'll paraphrase from there but overall i think it was very hype! i usually complain about the plot because the arc feels like suuuuch a drag atp but I've always considered bsd to be a very character-driven show rather than plot-driven (like AoT to give an example) so I've come to embrace the wackiness of the plot although it does tackle some very interesting elements this time like spacetime (more on that later).

Character-wise, it was very curious to see Fyodors reaction to like., the human spirit and just how genuinely disgusted and repulsed he was by Atsushi's selflessness; it really makes you wonder what exactly happened that shaped him into such a spiteful man (perhaps his liver was diseased aha ok no sorry). And then he dropped that line about Dazai not being fit to be his other half??? Which really raises a lot of questions, first of all being if Dazai was even aware of this soulmate fantasy of his? Did he ever ask ?😭 (he'd still refuse but still). Maybe if he stopped trying to kill him then he'd get the message. And not to make everything about skk ( their relationship is an integral part of the show IT'S NOT MY FAULT nor do i mean this in a shippy way‐at all) but....I'll just paste what i said on twt because im too lazy to rephrase it

and the MY GOAT AKU came to save the day although i dont think it's really him atm the fit goes crazyyyyyyyy harddddddddddddddd we love you harukawa !!! <33

i also . okay since they brought irl physics into this then so will I so hear me out:

-the AmeNoFuku thing exists in the the 4-dimentional spacetime so that means the principles of General Relativity still apply.

-What distorts spacetime? Gravity.

-Who can offensively manipulate gravity and cause great destruction and havoc? That's right! Chuuya in his corrupted form SO, unless the AmeNoFuku-triple-McCombo bitch opperates in the context of Special Relativity (because he did mention his body being in the Minkowski space where gravity is effectively neglected--but come on why would he that's such a cop out) then that means that 2+2 = Chuuya is fully capable of defeating that thing and saving the day if he weren't in France!!! thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[glitchnovax]

okokok sooo a lot of people think Atsushi is annoying and too insecure. At first I didn't like him either,but then I realized overcoming his insecurities(which he kinda still has) is part of his character development and I've come to the conclusion that I love him very much. So I was just curious, what do you think about him?

I am so sorry this is so long, I always get caught up on topics like this-

I hope this answers your question tho :3

Atsushi is one of the only protagonists I have genuinely had respect for and overall actually like the character of, compared to other animes/shows. At first I was the same, just sort of assuming he’d be another do-gooder protagonist the whole “I’m gonna be strong, defeat the true enemy” yada yada, but there actually is truly depths to his character that there isn’t with most other protagonists.

The difference with Atsushi is that he genuinely does not this he deserves to be where he is, he doesn’t even believe that he deserves to life, he thinks he has to earn the right. With other protags they tend to be doubtful at first but then very very quickly switch to the most positive characters ever to the point of their optimism being annoying af.

The reason Atsushi is so interesting to me is that mindset of needing to earn the right to live. Obviously it’s a very unhealthy way of viewing life but it’s what gives him depth as a character. The way he fights not necessarily because “iT’s ThE RiGhT tHiNg tO dO” (although it does factor in) but because he sees it as an opportunity at redemption, a way to validate his life. If you think about it, it’s quite similar to Dazai, they both feel as though they need to redeem themselves and joining the ada was a clean start for them, they both try to not so much bury the past, but put it behind them.

This is where the trauma comes in. In response the idea that he is just a whiny, overly insecure kid who needs to quit complaining and face the world, yes ofc I can see why people think that, he is definitely the most hesitant character in terms of facing his problems, he spends a lot of time trying to escape them or hide from them. Here’s the thing though, he was literally taught to hide from his problems all his life. At the orphanage we never see him stand up the headmaster, only him crying. Why? Because he’s a literal child. All he knows is fear, and escaping the abuse and torment of his previous “family”. He was never taught how to face his problems and while other protags tend to face them head on, he generally spends a lot of time hiding from them and cowering, the tiger is incredible symbolic of this.

Not only this but he’s literally followed around by his past. I said earlier that what he’s trying to do is put it behind him and move on, but he literally can’t do this because he’s haunted by ptsd (which is very visible in dead apple). This is also why he constantly reiterates the fact that he needs to prove his right to live. This boy literally hates himself so much all because that’s all he’s ever known. The headmaster says in a flashback “when you leave this place, hate me. Never hate yourself.” But this backfired on him because now all he can do is hate himself because it’s all he’s ever known.

One of my favourite quotes from Atsushi is in that fight with Akutagawa in season 1 when he says “people need to be told they matter or else they can’t go on” which is so damn iconic. It reflects on Atsushi, it reflects Akutagawa, it reflects on Kyouka (and I’d love to go through all of them but I’ll just stick to Atsushi for this post). That quote explains it all, it immediately states why Atsushi is as insecure as he is - because he’s always been told that he’s worthless and would be better off dead - it explains why he feels the need to earn his right to life - because again, he’s been told no one would miss him if he died (and I can’t stress hi enough:) all his life!! He needs to prove to the headmaster and most of all to himself that he isn’t worthless - and overall it just shows how self aware he is.

Anyone who has struggled with intrusive thoughs, insecurity and just overall self hatred knows that it’s like to have a voice in the back of their head telling them how shitty they are, and it’s awful. The voice in his head is a constant, it’s loud and it’s clearly hurting him. Whenever he’s “annoying and insecure” it’s because that voice is beating him to a pulp and he’s struggling to fight back. His character developement is visible (I mean you can can see the clear difference when he’s with his friends from the ada because he can tell they care about him a lot which is obviously a massive difference to the orphanage) however the developement will take time, if he’s written right, it’ll take more than just friend that care about him to improve his self esteem so to speak, he needs to help himself out of his own darkness. This is very very obviously contrasted to Akutagawa’s character in that Aku has essentially given up on himself, he’s worked so hard and in the end he’s given up on finding a way out. That is until Atsushi came along. Atsushi is different because he is clearly working towards getting out of that darkness, and he is succeeding. As we know, Aku’s jealousy stems from Dazai’s appreciation of Atsushi, but I would also argue that it’s from seeing how much Atsushi is improving and actually having a warped view of that.

I know this is slightly off topic but just let me explain: when Aku talks to Kyouka in the canibalism arc, he says that she’s lucky to have found her way to the light, the general meaning of this is taken as hat she got out of the Port Mafia and joined the “good” side. However there’s quite obviously a double meaning in that Aku can see how happy Kyouka is and believes that he’ll never reach that (Aku’s story is one I’d rather discuss in another post but for the purpose of understanding Atsushi’s growth, you should understand it from Aku’s point of view as well).

He says how happy he is for Kyouka, but remains angry at Atsushi, because he feels like Atsushi has everything (this comes from their fight on the Moby Dick) Atsushi is really quick to point out that he absolutely doesn’t have everything and that he suffers just as Aku does and I think that scene really explains Atsushi’s character incredibly well. Just to tie this all up, I think Aku agreeing to not kill anyone until he and Atsushi battle it out, is a massive first step in him attempting to improve himself (even if it is in the essence of competition).

Overall, Atsushi is so much more than just an “annoying and insecure” character, like all of the characters in bsd, he’s quite complex and I really enjoy breaking down all the aspects of his character to explain this.

Atsushi isn’t one of my favourite characters, but he’s one I’ve come to respect him more and more as I’ve watched and rewatched bsd (and now as I finally read the manga!!). I love discussing all the complexities of bsd especially since there’s so much to break down and delve into (and believe me my favourite characters aren’t my favourites for no reason).

To everyone reading this, feel free to reply/reblog with your opinions, I love hearing what other people think about stuff like this skdjskd

I’ll gladly give my opinion on whatever character, scene, story arc, fandom based thing or just anything in bsd in general so feel free to send in more asks :)

[amodernpersephone]

Thank you for tagging me, Brielle-chaaan! 💕💕 AAAAAAA I MISSED TAG GAMES SO MUCH

1. why did you choose your url?

I was bored and obsessed with Greek myth, so add being an impulsive teenager and a bad url generator, and you have @/amodernpersephone. LMAO I STILL LAUGH LOOKING BACK AT THIS I WANT TO CHANGE MY URL BUT I LIKE IT SM

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

None, as of now. But I will be making a writing blog in a few months! Due to Euri-san and Reiko-san and everyone being too supportive, and divider hunting and carrd making being addictive, I've ended up like this (・∀・)

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

About two years now? I think? I started somewhere around 2019.

4. do you have a queue tag?

Yes! It's "17th letter of the alphabet" because I think it's cute uwu 💕💕

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

This was supposed to be a blog for researching some writing stuff, but I got into bsd, and followed a certain someone I know as my chaos mother, and you see how that turned out blerp. If you have enough resilience, you'll somehow find my old original posts of aesthetics about my characters, ngl AJSHJAHSJA

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

My first pfp was a picrew I absolutely adored, next was a self-made coloring of Elise Mori because she is best girl (/lh) and the next are Atsushi and Atsushi and Atsushi, because I kin him and he deserves happiness

7. why did you choose your header?

"Akutagawa siblings" is my favorite unexplored concept since it lets me be as creative and chaotic with these two murder muffins as much as I can—

8. which post of yours has the most notes?

My Atsushi appreciation post! Coming in close second is my atsushi mayoi cards post, then bsd doctors, then another atsushi post, and a ton of aku sibs posts.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I don't count! Anyone who even interacts with me is already awesome in my book so I didn't track mutuals as much as before. But I'd say...around 17-30? or 15-25? Somewhere around that number i guess.

10. how many followers do you have?

84, last i checked. Still curious why they even followed this dumpster fire. Apparently 91 now. Cool.

11. how many people do you follow?

Over 300 now, let me look for the exact number in a bit.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...everything i post is shit, does that count? /j

Nah, but I scream a lot and say weird stuff, so I've probably made a post that fit in the category.

13. how often do you use tumblr?

Before? around 9 to 15 hours a day.

Now, 7-10 hours. School and other stuff.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

...No? I don't think so? Well, I've been attacked and insulted a lot in group chats, but we don't talk about that, anyway, I'd probably lose, I have severe confrontational and paradoxical social anxiety

15. how do you feel about 'you need to compare this' posts?

...

what.

16. do you like tag games?

MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 💕💕💕(ʃƪ＾3＾）

17. do you like ask games?

Well, I make ones as a game anon in someone else's blog, so yes! I absolutely love them!! (≧▽≦)

18. which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@the-wholesome-ranpo, no dice.

(y-you know so many people ajhsjshsh)

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Ooh, yeah! Actually, I have these really genuine and passionate feelings for this one mutual, their url is— *gets shot by smuggled Limited Edition Arctic 50*

20. tags:

@akutagawa-and-figs @cottonfluffballofdoom @the-wholesome-ranpo @thebgcharacter @walking-meme @dwindlingspace and anyone who wants! (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)

— 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞.

tagged by — @hyuckefi thank you <33

1. why did you choose your url?

i had just found out that the danish word for lion is løve. then out of curiosity, i looked up more lion-related words in the language and came across løvinde, which means lioness, so i just took out the i. also it's perfect bc i've been associated with lions all my life. it's basically a personality trait at this point.

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

this is my only sideblog actually. @mfsln is my main hoe. it's more of just a personal blog with lots of scattered interests + shitposts.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i've been here on a diff acc before, but i won't say when i made it. i decided to make a new acc (which is the one you're currently seeing) and start anew feb of this year! tho i only started writing around this april

4. do you have a queue tag?

none as of right now, but i might eventually

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i was just really unhappy with my old blog

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

chaeyoung is one of the lomls and it fit the cottagecore theme i was going for

7. why did you choose your header?

it just went with my theme, no special reason

8. which post of yours has the most notes?

the 'little ways nct dream show you they love you' headcanon

9. how many mutuals do you have?

gosh i've got no clue 20-30 i'm guessing

10. how many followers do you have?

108 i think

11. how many people do you follow?

97 is that even a lot ?

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i think the real question is, who hasn't?

13. how often do you use tumblr?

three ish hours a day maybe

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

nope but if i did i most definitely would've won ;)

15. how do you feel about 'you need to compare this' posts?

i have no idea what those are lmao

16. do you like tag games?

so, so much

17. do you like ask games?

yes! planning to have one here soon

18. which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

prolly @/soleilsuhh :>

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

that's a secret hehe but also i don't crush on ppl easily

20. tags:

@hwiseungs @perhapsthanatos @wonciel @ikigaicoeur + whoever wants to do it as well!!

[detortum]

Dazai’s relationships:

Please mind that this is entirely my point of view, so I might be getting facts wrong and my portrayal might change based on rp’s too!

|| What I find so curious about Dazai is that he isn’t exactly human, like his ability implies. He is capable of inhumane things which makes me wonder what goes through his mind on a daily basis? Is he on ‘the edge’ or did he already pass that border and is actually unable to live with himself? It’s one of the things that really makes me curious because there are times when he is human.  He treated Akutagawa terribly, alright. He gave him a spartan training you wouldn’t want to wish on anyone. It was Dazai’s way of ensuring Akutagawa would become stronger. It was twisted and yet he somehow he knows as long as Aku follows his order he would grow to become stronger.   Atsushi later claims that Dazai approved of Aku long ago and Dazai doesn’t deny it, yet why didn’t he ever tell Aku this before?  He clearly treats Atsushi much better, but I think that’s because he himself had to learn to ‘teach’ and ‘behave’ differently after he joined the Agency. He is used to violence, murder, torture, deceive and repeat. I don’t think he ever knew what family was or how to accept people into his heart, how to abide by good morals etc. He knows how to talk to people, he knows what to say, what to do and how to achieve his goals. He also seems to have a good idea of what others think and how to play along with them. But I don’t think he knew how to treat those he was responsible for ‘better’ or in a good way.  Or maybe he thought Aku could handle the spartan training, but even then, it’s never justifiable.  Dazai is capable of accepting friends, those at first being Oda and Ango. I think they were the constant in his life, the safe haven he knew he could go to whenever. He knew he would meet them at the bar, thus becoming friends with them. Ango betrayed them in the end and honestly? I was kind of surprised to see Dazai letting him off so easily. Didn’t he betray the Mafia? Instead he let him off saying: Don’t show me your face ever again. Does that mean it did hurt him that Ango betrayed them? It looks like to me Ango did have a place in his heart, albeit a small one because Dazai doesn’t allow people to pass that invisible barrier.  Then there’s Oda whom he was genuinely upset about to see him dying in front of him. He did think of him as his friend and made the promise to fight on the good side. He owes it to Oda that he can do good things with his incredible ability now, but is he ‘good’ at heart? Or rather: can one expect him to learn good morals and live by those? He can, but is that also what he feels and truly thinks?  The Agency gave him a broader view and reasonable restrictions, such as no killing and protecting civilians, no harming comrades etc.  Back to the Mafia: Chuuya. There was definitely a bond of trust, because I believe it is not possible to work together so well without at least having some kind of ‘connection’. They clearly had these dynamics that enabled them to work together so well. And yet at the same time, they can’t stand each other. I think, Dazai does show a bit of what he truly thinks and feels to Chuuya. I think Chuuya is one of the few who knows Dazai, just like Oda did, only slightly differently.  Now, at the Agency, Kunikida is the one Dazai can always be found hanging around, irritating him, working together as partners and so on. I think Kunikida is the new stable factor for him. There are for every human protective and risk factors. While Dazai has many risk factors in his life, I think Kunikida is a protective one in the sense that he can keep Dazai at bay, somewhat. I think Kunikida has this air of ‘reassurance’ that also helps Dazai to somehow level with him, if you get what I mean. Am I making sense? Just like Oda was the constant in his life, Kunikida has that role now (not to replace Oda mind you). And about the protective factors, I think Atsushi is one for him too. He treats him much better compared to Aku and I think that’s because Dazai learned enough to at least be able to do that. Despite Atsushi being 18, he’s still often treated as a child, which I don’t think is a bad thing considering what the boy went through in his life.  But you know? Chapter 39 about Atsushi’s orphanage and the caretaker did trouble me. I read comments about people suddenly being confused about him, suddenly somehow feeling for him. There is no justifying what that man did, no matter his intention to want to praise Atsushi in the end. It was touchy yes, but it doesn’t take away all the years of abuse. And yet, I can also see why Dazai said told him ‘when someone’s father passes away, they will cry.’ Doesn’t Dazai understand all too well what kind of relationship Atsushi and his caretaker had? Didn’t he treat Aku in a similar way in the past? He also knew Atushi doesn’t know what a parent is, what familial love is. Dazai doesn’t know that either, so they were really on the same level regarding that. Dazai knows it’s unforgivable what the caretaker did, he knows what he himself did is unforgivable, but the important thing is what are they going to do with that in the future? 

I will ramble more about this later, but this was just to settle with the ideas I have for Dazai’s portrayal c; Feel free to let me know your thoughts! I’d love to discuss it and improve it, because there is always space for improvement. Not to mention, I might still be getting details wrong because I am still re-reading the manga o////o

Anyway, thank you for reading this! ^^