#aka when u call my name phenomena

[asterocky]

isn’t it interesting that now that astro does “mature” concepts everyone suddenly loves their early stuff and complains how boygroups don’t debut like that anymore. 🤡

[nat-20s]

MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW

with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work

(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)

hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g

Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.

So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:

TV SHOWS

Good Omens

okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end

Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons.  Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car.  Satan is (sort of) fought.

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Gravity Falls

sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better

(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)

Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER

Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh  pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.

It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes

MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)

Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!

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The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)

Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.

As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.

Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma

MINI REC ALERT!

Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.

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Community

Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:

Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and  pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.

MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.

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Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA

BBC Merlin

Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.

I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.

Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-

Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!

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Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era

Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.

Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you  YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large:  Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.

OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes

What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead

I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other

Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?

Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.

MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.  

MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.

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Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)

happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly

Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.

that’s all I got for relevant movies right now

BOOK RECS

jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.

Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.

PODCAST RECS

Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a

mini rec

Alice Isn’t Dead

Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.

Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!

Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.

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The Magnus Archives

You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.

John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad,  Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.

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Welcome to Nightvale

IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.

Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̍̽̋̚̕͜��͓il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl͚͎͕͉͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͝ͅ��̶̬͓͜m̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜a̵̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋̕͝��̨̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.

MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.

Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!

SONG RECS

okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access

Woah There Kimmy-  Felix Hagan & the Family

Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright

Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright

The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three

The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three

In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South

Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy

Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon

Curses- The Crane Wives

Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives

OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!

[qsdblogging]

Top 10 TV Shows You Need To Watch Right Now

Now, I watch a lot of television. I always have and frankly, I’m much more of a binge watcher than a wait-around-for-a-week-for-the-next-episode kind of watcher. 

And with everything the past few months, there wasn’t all that much to do other than start rewatching some of my favorite shows and some that I’ve never seen or haven’t seen in a while.

So, that’s what I did and here I am giving you some recommendations for shows to add to your own watching lists. 

Warning, though, some of these don’t end the best way and may end up more as a disappointment. I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

I. Fringe.

I cannot recommend this show enough to people. It’s got five full seasons (although the last could’ve been a little better, but it’s honestly not that bad of a final season) of high-risk scenarios revolving around almost unexplainable phenomena regarding a tear in the fabric of reality. It deals with experiments that gives superpowers (basically), advanced technology, and a parallel universe. 

Plus, there’s a cow.

What more could you want from a show?

Some familiar faces that are in the main cast or show up at some point include John Noble, who you may recognize from Sleepy Hollow and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Lance Reddick, who was in The Wire, White House Down, American Horror Story, and played Charon in the John Wick franchise, Leonard Nimoy, who you should know from the original Star Trek series, and Anna Torv from Mindhunter. 

II. Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector.

Now, if you know crime books, you may know exactly what this is based off of. If not, fear not, I am here to tell. This series (which, like a lot of the others down the list, unfortunately, got cancelled and won’t get to see a second season) was based off of The Bone Collector, a first in a series of novels by Jeffery Deaver. 

If you like crime shows, you should definitely give this a shot. Don’t let the fact that it’s only one season stop you.

Things get pretty wild in just one season as it revolved around a retired forensic criminologist, who had been trying to catch the Bone Collector only to get injured, that gets back into the game three years later when an ambitious young detective is determined to help solve the case when a new body shows up.

You might even recognize a face or two, like Arielle Kebbel (the ambitious young detective) from her role as Lexi in The Vampire Diaries and Olivia Charity in Midnight, Texas, and Russell Hornsby (the retired forensic criminologist) from Grimm, The Hate U Give, Proven Innocent, and The Affair.

III. Manifest.

Luckily, this show is said to be getting a third season and so far, isn’t going to get cancelled. It focuses on passengers from Flight 828, who show up five years after their plane went missing. Some passengers start experiencing what they call ‘callings’ and try to figure out if they were chosen for some sort of duty that the callings led them too, but things get a little confusing when someone who wasn’t on a flight seems to have a year missing of their own life after being deemed missing.

Things get a little weird and dangerous along the way, and not everyone is happy about how things turn out.

It’s pretty interesting and I’m really looking forward to what else they come up with. There’s a few familiar faces that play a part in the show that includes Daryl Edwards, who you may recognize from the first season of Daredevil, Ellen Tamaki who is also in the reboot of Charmed, Athena Karkanis, who’s been in The Expanse and Lost Girl, and Josh Dallas, who one may recall playing Prince Charming in Once Upon a Time, and Fandral in Thor.

It’s a rather good show to get lost in and I definitely recommend giving it a go.

IV. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

If you don’t have an idea as to what this show is, I don’t know what to say. The title kind of gives it away. It’s the only Marvel Show (as of now since none of the shows in production have come out as of yet) to technically be connected to the MCU itself.

That’s found in one of the main characters, Phil Coulson, who you’d recognize from Captain Marvel, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, and The Avengers. Plus, Cobie Smulders (Maria Hill) and Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury) both give a cameo in the show. 

The show was rumored to have been set in a different, but similar, timeline to that of the MCU movies, but I don’t know for sure if it’s true or not. 

It follows its own set of issues, including a deeper dive into the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., issues with HYDRA, and so on and so forth. The last season, which I honestly cried during, gives such good twists and callbacks to previous seasons and the MCU movies that you can’t help but enjoy how it’s handled.

As a show, it probably has one of the best final seasons possible and I highly recommend giving the full seven seasons a watch if you haven’t already.

V. Primeval.

Now, if you like dinosaurs, this is a show for you. It’s BBC, so obviously everyone has an accent. It gave a run of five seasons (which is kind of funny because I didn’t realize that until just now writing this as the show is listed as number five on the list) with different episode amounts. 

The show centers around anomalies that seem to open up a window to the very distant past of Earth when dinosaurs still roamed the land. It causes a lot of issues, especially if one person has anything to do with it.

It’s pretty interesting and honestly has got some great characters (my personal favorite is Captain Becker, played by Ben Mansfield) and while it can get pretty serious, it’s also pretty entertaining. It’s one of the three shows on this list to get to end on a good-ish note. (AKA, no cliffhangers!)

Obviously, I highly recommend giving it a shot. It’s kind of the point of this list.

VI. Terra Nova.

Now, like Primeval, this show technically has to do with dinosaurs. Dinosaurs aren’t the main focus, but they do play a part in this one season (because cancellations) story. 

Terra Nova is focused on both the future and the past. In the distant future (2149), the Earth is dying. A group of people, researchers, and military as well as some of their family members, are sent to the past (85 million years) to inhabit Terra Nova, a colony of humans given a second chance to build civilization. 

So, obviously, dinosaurs are going to make an appearance now and then. And unfortunately, the show only got one season and ends on a cliffhanger. Which I hate, because I really enjoy this show and wish it had been able to at least get a second season.

Plus, there are some familiar faces amongst the cast. Jason O’Mara, who plays one of the main cast members, played Jeffrey Mace in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. Christine Adams, who plays Lynn Pierce in Black Lightning. Allison Miller, who played Sonya in 13 Reasons Why. And Naomi Scott, who is known for her roles in Lemonade Mouth (one of my all-time favorite DCOMs) and Aladdin. And this was just to name a few of the cast members. 

Shame it got cancelled, truly, but I recommend giving it a shot.

VII. MTV’s Scream.

I think you can figure out the basis of this show. While it doesn’t have anything to do directly with the movie franchise, it is kind of similar and a lot of the characters reflect those from the show. Neve Campbell even said that if the show did well, she would be willing to do a cameo.

It revolves (at least the first two seasons as season three is an entirely different set of cast and premise that I refuse to watch because of that) around Emma Duval and her group of friends as they’re picked off one by one by a serial killer going around town. Things get bloody and suspicions arise amongst the crew when things are revealed as the show continues, but things eventually work out in the end.

And personally, I really enjoyed the show even when the second season ended on a cliffhanger. I have theories about that cliffhanger, however, so watch out for a possible post regarding it. 

I highly recommend giving it a chance if you haven’t seen it. 

VIII. The Society.

Now, the title doesn’t give you much. A group of teenagers, who were sent off on a trip, suddenly are dropped back off in their town to find it completely empty aside from themselves. They have to form their own society to survive and figure things out.

Once you know that, it makes a little more sense.

It seems really similar to the Pied Piper tale, but it doesn’t seem like we’re going to really know for sure. Season 2 had been given a go-ahead, but not too long ago Netflix announced the cancellation of the show.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the first season like I do. Plus, if you’re a fan of Supernatural and the character of Claire Novak, Kathryn Newton plays one of the main roles in this show.

It’s a shame the show got cancelled, especially on a cliffhanger, but what can we do?

IX. The Mysteries of Laura.

Laura Diamond, a Homicide Detective, cracks case after case while trying to raise twin boys and locking horns with her less than helpful Police Detective ex-husband. At least, this is according to IMBD and frankly, it’s not really wrong. 

For two seasons, it’s packed with comedy and crime. It’s more of the former, but it still gets pretty serious every now and then, and unfortunately ends on a cliffhanger. 

However, some cast members may be familiar. Like Josh Lucas, who voices Home Depot commercials (and trust me, it made my family laugh when we first heard one after watching the show), Laz Alonso who plays MM in The Boys, and Debby Ryan, from Disney Channel. 

If you like light-hearted crime shows (like Brooklyn-Nine-Nine) you should definitely give this a watch.

X. Warrior Nun.

As far as I know, this show has been renewed for a season two. I’m really hoping for it because it’s honestly kind of interesting. You can kind of tell by the title what it may be, but I’ll dive a little deeper.

After waking up in a morgue, Ava, an orphaned teen, discovered she now possesses superpowers as the chosen Halo Bearer for a secret sect of demon-hunting nuns. (Taken from IMDB). Interesting, right?

With characters like Shotgun Mary, Sister Beatrice, and Sister Lilith, you know the show’s going to be interesting. But the premise is pretty interesting on it’s own too.

There’s even a character called JC, who apparently has nothing to do with Jesus Christ, but I still like referring to him as such because it’d be pretty funny if that’s how it turns out. Also, someone gets beat up with a whole chicken at some point.

It’s only got the one season so far, but it’s pretty funny and action packed. Like everything on this list, I definitely think you should watch it and find out for yourself if you want to add it to your list if you haven’t already.

[michaelmilkers]

I saw in one of your tags that you mentioned how 21 pilots made emo pretentious and im actually curious about why you say that (not hate i just never knew about them that much)

my friend you have asked me about a topic i am very knowledgeable and very angry about so prepare yourself for what you have wrought

it isnt just twenty one pilots but theyre just the biggest and most popular example

like. take my chemical romance in the early-mid 2000s aka the peak of emo. it was very melodramatic and theatrical, the way emo should be. there was a presence of “we are not like other people” in a lot of the songs, but it was never just that. it was more of a “we have been cast out and we kinda suck but thats okay.” one of the best examples of this is, ironically, i’m not okay.

take, for example, the opening to the mtv music video:

[Ray] You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it. [Gerard] I don't wanna make it, I just wanna...

this immediately establishes the song as being about social outcasts and people who dont fit the mold. the fucking tag line of the song is “i’m not okay” ffs, that really tells you all you need to know about the song. but the important thing is it doesnt take itself too seriously either. the music video takes place in a private school, and shows scenes of the band members eating lunch alone, being bullied by jocks and preps, etc., but it ALSO shows scenes of frank putting swim goggles on in chemistry class and ray drawing on his test with a crayon and then licking it, and at the end they all ambush and beat the shit out of a guy in a mascot costume. all of this is cut up by text saying things like “if you ever felt alone” “if you ever felt wronged” “if you ever felt anxious”

do you see the juxtaposition here? the music video could very very easily be a fake deep bullying psa, but its not, because while theyre getting bullied and playing their music in a garage they are also, unequivocally, total fucking losers for obvious comedic effect. it is a very exaggerated and lighthearted version of real phenomena, which makes it more relatable to a wider audience.

the same can be said about the song itself. it has some pretty heavy and angsty lyrics (”i’m not o-fucking-kay”) but the instrumentals are punchy and energetic and catchy and gerard’s vocal delivery is very theatrical but also very deliberate and he still puts real emotion in the words. it sounds like its taking the piss out of not being okay, which is exactly what i as a clinically depressed 13 year old needed, and i bet a lot of other people can say the same. i’m a loser and thats okay. i fucking suck in school and thats okay. i feel shitty and thats okay. i’m not okay and that, in itself, is okay.

with twenty one pilots, on the other hand, there is no theatrics, theres no taking the piss, theres no over-the-top melodrama that made emo what it was. 

take, for comparison, the opening lines of heathens:

All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse

and this presents, immediately, one of my biggest criticisms of twenty one pilots: their rampant appropriation of mental illness.

because my first thought when hearing this is as an abuse survivor and someone with ptsd they can kiss every single square inch of my ass.

Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

they try to do the same kind of nuanced poetic lyrics that my chemical romance did and in my opinion is just doesnt fucking work because they take themselves SO. FUCKING. SERIOUSLY. it sounds JOYLESS. 

and the song closes out with this:

Why'd you come? You knew you should have stayed (It's blasphemy) I tried to warn you just to stay away (Away) And now they're outside ready to bust (To bust) It looks like you might be one of us

this is what i mean by pretentious. there is a clear separation of the person/people from whose point of view the song is told and the people the song is meant to be listened to by from the greater population, but theres no high energy or comedic self deprecation to counteract it. 

now take some lyrics from heavydirtysoul, a song i actually really like the sound of, im not just shitting on this band bc its not to my taste yall:

There's an infestation in my mind's imagination I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement This is not rap, this is not hip-hop Just another attempt to make the voices stop

Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch Saying stuff like, "You only live once." You've got one time to figure it out One time to twist and one time to shout One time to think and I say we start now Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about

right back at it again with that appropriation of mental illness symptoms! and some dumbass critique of our generation that doesnt fit in with the rest of the song at all, closing out the verse with “we are not like you” shit. the vocal delivery at least has more energy than heathens, but the lyrics just feel like a mishmash of different points theyre trying to make that have nothing to do with each other.

the best line of the song is undoubtedly “death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit” but its poetic just... for the sake of being poetic? its one of those lyrics that sounds like someone came up with and was like “bro we gotta put that in a song” but then couldnt actually figure out how to fit it into a song in a way that would flow. another example of this is “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” in bring me the horizon’s can you feel my heart. not shitting on bring me the horizon, i really like sempiternal, but thats another line thats just poetic for the sake of being poetic. and to be put on t-shirts. i know this because when i was 12 i had a shirt that said “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” on it.

i could do more analysis on other mcr songs, namely welcome to the black parade and famous last words, but i would be here for literal hours and idk if people actually care that much.

to sum my points up:

they take themselves too seriously. they appropriate and romanticize mental illness (forgot to mention that top’s website, at one time, described their music as “schizoid pop” lol). they pull a lot of “We Are Not Like Other People..,.,.,,...” shit. 

that last point is not inherently a bad thing, for example the new slipknot album is literally called “we are not your kind” but the song that contains that line as a lyric is all out life, and corey taylor is screaming that entire song and the instrumentals are reminiscent of speed metal with how fucking energetic they are. its edgy and its GREAT. twenty one pilots just sounds like they think theyre the shit.

also, and i want you to read the following sentence in a bass boosted voice to best understand how i feel when i say this:

the twenty one pilots cover of cancer is an embarrassment that completely misses the point of the original song and changed it into a weird amalgamation of lo-fi synth pop.

emo music is dead. thank u and goodnight.

[lyannas]

I like that grrm chose catelyn as the narrator for the northerners' side of the war, but why do you think he chose her over robb?

GRRM has, notably, removed every king from the WOT5K as POV characters. Neither Balon, Joffrey (or Tywin, if that’s how you look at it), Stannis, Robb, or Renly have POV chapters and instead have other characters offering insight into their wars. Balon has Theon, Joffrey has Sansa and Tyrion, Stannis has Davos, and Robb and Renly have Catelyn (Brienne, of course, does not get a POV chapter until long after Renly is dead). Meanwhile, the women (or “queens” if that’s you wanna read it) who are not actually seriously considered as contenders within their worlds, do have POV chapters. This includes Daenerys, Cersei, Sansa (if her endgame is truly QItN), Asha, and Arianne. I’d argue that even Melisandre counts in this pool, as she was described as Stannis’s “true queen”.

I’m sure other people have their own theory on why this is. It is, after all, a rather unusual and circumvent way to tell the stories of some very central characters. I think it’s for a number of reasons. For one, these five men are all in rather similar positions with similar goals. They are all powerful men with sizeable armies behind them, and while their motivations for war and conquest are all different, they all want the (or “a”, in Robb’s case) throne. They are all commanders, they’re all some of the most privileged people that exist in their society, and to be quite honest, they don’t need their own voice in the narrative. I mean sure, it might be nice to know about the intimate and personal details of their minds and thought processes, but all in all we glean more than enough from other characters’ observation of them.

Another reason I believe GRRM chose to do it this way ties into his anti-war narrative. Most of what we see these five men do in the books is wage war. As commanders and as kings, they’re in the highest position of power with the resources and men for the sole purpose of waging war. The books detail the effects of this war quite clearly. These armies bring with them rape, bloodshed (both in battle and outside of it), destruction of farmland, pillaging, depletion of natural resources, famine, and in the Lannisters’ case, systematic war crimes in what is virtually a concentration camp (AKA Harrenhal, *shudders*). Even Robb, who is painted as a very noble and even a moral hero can’t prevent individual men from acting out, and he certainly did not surveil Roose Bolton as closely as he should have (though hindsight is admittedly 20/20). These men, whether we love them or hate them, are waging wars whose effects ripple out and hit the most vulnerable people of society the hardest. To give us the POV of these men will almost guarantee that we will hear their justification for bloodshed, the excuses they tell themselves, and the jingoism that may drive them. Worse, when presented in the very sympathetic format of a POV, we as readers may be inclined to sympathize with them to some degree. That’s not what GRRM wants us to see. He wants us to give us more objective views of these people from the people who observe them, and through POV characters like Arya, Bran, and Davos, we are made to see what sort of misery these men have brought to very vulnerable people.

And yes, this does include Robb Stark. As good and noble as he tried to be, he is still a king and a figure in this war who happens to also make some very bad choices that he doesn’t actually consider to be bad when he makes them. As I noted before, this means a Robb POV chapter would mean we get to hear all his excuses for his bad choices, and we as readers don’t need to hear his excuses. “Words are wind”, after all. (Still love u, Robb).

Through the POVs of the people who observe them, we learn a lot not only about these men but about how people who love them (and don’t love them) react to them, and that is what another crucial thing that would be missing from their POVs. Here’s a question to pose as an example: what is more impactful– a look inside Stannis’s head as he insists that Edric Storm must be sacrificed, or Davos’s profound disappointment at his beloved king’s decision? What’s better– being in Joffrey’s head as he orders Sansa stripped and beaten in front of the court, or reading that terrible act firsthand from the victim? Would it be more interesting to know what Balon is thinking when he first sees Theon after their long separation, or read Theon’s humiliation and extreme sorrow at his father’s lackluster reaction to his homecoming?

In many instances, not having the kings’ POVs allows us to see inside the minds of some of their victims. Whether they victimized these people maliciously or not is irrelevant; the point is that the victims, (or the overlooked, or the disregarded) have a voice while those who hurt them do not. (Again, I must include a qualifier for Robb Stark: while he never tried to hurt his mother on purpose, he definitely dealt her some rather crushing blows with decisions such as not trading Jaime for his sisters, naming Jon as his heir, sending Theon to Pike against her advice, etc). Another interesting element it adds is that it does leave somethings about these kings a mystery– which adds to the compelling storytelling imo.

So, what makes the queens different? Plenty of things. They are, for the most part:

At a disadvantage in society by virtue of their sex

Underestimated and undervalued

Fighting uphill battles in terms of getting the respect and power they want

Under the control of a man/men or have experienced a large part of their life under that control

Not treated as equals to men

There are exceptions to this of course, and Arianne does make up the majority of those exceptions, but nonetheless the queens are all women whose positions are made highly unique by virtue of the fact that they all have to be creative or even underhanded to achieve the same goals that the men around them can achieve in a straightforward manner. After all…

Daenerys needed dragons to survive and jumpstart her story

Sansa was a captive at King’s Landing and is to some extent still a captive at the Vale, and had to jump through some insane hoops just to get to this point

Cersei has to use sex, deceit, murder, manipulation, and subject herself to some pretty awful things to get the power she desires (which is still out of reach!)

Despite being regarded as her father’s heir, Asha has to fight her uncles and change the minds of her entire sexist society in order to be recognized as queen of anything, and is reduced to her sex by men at every turn

Arianne also must use sex and deception, but is dogged by the notion that her father doesn’t want her to be his heir and tries to launch a scheme that goes horribly awry. This, of course, could have been prevented had her father simply been honest with her from the beginning and reveal the information he told Quentyn to her as well.

So while the men literally just had to gather their armies and declare war to get things in motion, these women have to take the less-than-scenic route with many bumps, twists, and turns to achieve even a fraction of the autonomy and power their male counterparts have. And sadly, these women still haven’t achieved that level of power, with the exception of Daenerys who built her army from scratch but also had the help of three very big, very scary dragons. Also known as the only very big, very scary dragons in the whole series. In other words, while the kings only needed to call their banners, Daenerys had to recreate a phenomena that hadn’t occurred in decades and also involved her walking into a funeral pyre. Not exactly the same thing.

So there is my very long-winded and probably typo riddled answer as to why I think GRRM chose not only Cat over Robb, but literally any other POV character over any of the contending kings. I am actually really glad he did it this way, even if he didn’t do it this way on purpose.

[stipulatedconflict]

Band interview with SUCK LORDS(Portland/USA)

I do not really remember how I came across to their demo on Youtube, However, it was a fuckin’ blaster! Fast as fuck. It is like a scraped broken van which does not have brake rolling down Holmenkollen. I love this whatever, we play fuckin fast! Attitude. I felt what the heck going on with this crazy dudes? and try to find information and nothing I could really find about them. I really wanted to know what’s going on with this band then I fortunately could grab its tail somehow.

Check their demo first here

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfWuVJA6yqs

Interview starts from bewlo;

-So,who is in the band? are there any bands which any of you have played or been playing or currently playing beside SUCK LORDS?

J: Foot, Tam, Karl, myself. I was in Nasa Space Universe for eight years and currently in U-NIX. I've had a lot of smaller projects back home in California that maybe only ever played once or just recorded and never played shows. 

F(sam aka foot): In recent times I was in HEAVY HANDS, SWEATS, MONGOLOID, now I'm in SUCK LORDS and CHOW LINE.

-Is there anyone who is deeply involved in any DIY punk activities like running label, writing zines, taking pictures, designing, organising shows etc in SUCK LORDS?

J: I take a lot of pictures of shows and people that I like and respect. I booked shows constantly from 2009-2015 in Orange County and LA and did a lot of collages for flyers and 7”s or LP covers. I don't like to book shows in Portland. 

F:I do a mean zine called Not For Everyone that focuses on HC punk and skateboarding. Issue five coming soon! Anyone out there, I want to trade zines! Get at me Snukytate@gmail.com

I'll book ya a show if you twist my arm and do a lot of flyers and tape art for the bands I play in.

-Is there anyone who is deeply involved in any activities which is not any relation to DIY/punk thing? Art, Other type of music, publication, extreme sports or any other?

F: Me and Karl skateboard, other than that I work a lot as a bartender and spend my money on HC, punk, metal, hard rock, kraut rock records. The rest of my time is spent outside with my dog or watching movies.

J: Matt plays hockey. I read a lot. I like to ride the bus or train around the outskirts of Portland and look for weird stuff or people. I like collecting photography books. I mostly listen to death metal lately but I grew up on funk, soul, and oldies and got into hardcore punk when I was eight years old. I also really like old electric slide guitar gospel and delta blues- niche stuff like that; west African funk/rock.

-How did SUCK LORDS start in the beginning? How did all of you get together? Did you know each others before it started?

F: Karl and Tam were jamming and I invited myself to join them. We were all in SWEATS together. I've known john for years from touring and he had moved to town so we asked him to sing. Nothing exciting there!

J: I joined late. I was already in U-Nix with Karl and have been friends with Foot for a long time. I didn't meet Tam until the first Lords practice I came to.

-Why did you want to form SUCK LORDS?

F: We were just in the practice space a lot with other bands and it just kind of happened, but like with any band we're in the mission is to blow away all the weak and boring bands this town is polluted with! 

-Was there any specific idea of sound before SUCK LORDS started?

F: Not really, in the beginning they were all riffs that Tam wrote, I remember him saying he wanted it to sound "punk". Maybe like rancid or somethin ya know?

-How do you describe the sound of the band by your own words?

J: “faster than Gang Green”. “Fast as hell.”

F: It can only be described as "LORDS music". High speed retardation.

-Is there any specific bands gave influence/inspiration to SUCK LORDS?

F: JFA, Suicidal, Neos, Nikoteens, Stark Raving Mad, Nun fuckers

J: H100s

-What kind of elements/influences do individual members bring to the band to sounds like SUCK LORDS?

F: Karl can drum faster than shit but he still hits hard and is tight and writes interesting, non typical parts.Tam is kinda the same way with riffs, pretty weird sometimes but always ripping. I just want to play as fast and hard as possible and jump around like a moron making loud abrasive noises.

J: I wanted to have a Jerry’s Kids vocal style going on but when I heard my own voice it was more like a whiny little kid voice. 

-How did you decide the band name? is there any special meaning? 

F: when we were looking for a singer, Tam said "anyone could sing as long as they weren't a SUCK LORD".

J: Punk ran out of names and Suck Lords was the only one left. 

-How's the punk scene in Portland in general? Lot of things going on there?

J: Busy 3 months out of the year. The rest is of the year everyone is really complacent and lazy and spends their time in bars. The average punk doesn't care about the scene or put forth the effort but there's a solid handful of people that genuinely care and have cool shit going on. There are a lot of great bands and a few that stink. 

F: Zzzzzzzzzz, bring a fuckin book.

-How do you think about playing in a band in Portland? Are there good venues or squat for punk shows?

J: The venue makes all the difference in crowd reaction. People feel restricted at bars but house shows get wild. No squats here, all those buildings are now expensive lofts from what im told. It's hard for people to have fun here; they don't like to move around. 

F: It can be hard, "punks" here are real complacent, lazy, too old, or already know what super specific sub genre of punk they've limited themselves to, so getting a real gut reaction to music is a rare occurrence and can make playing gigs pretty disheartening. There have been some house shows happening which is sick because they're always more fun, I'm glad there's a few houses who have been providing that space for us and hope they last. Blackwater Bar is an all ages bar venue that is run and operated by great people, the know is another excellent bar venue staffed by people involved in or at least sympathetic to DIY punk.

-Which bands are you playing together a lot? any bands you feel sympathy as in a same scene?

F: we play with UNIX and IMPULSE CONTROL who we share members with. I sympathize with them cuz I'm always farting in the practice space. We definitley get offered gigs way less than any of our other bands, I think we've done like six shows in close to two years??

J: The last two shows we played we were the only local band. The people in this band are also in all the bands we play with. 

-Is there any bands you feel sympathy for the sound/attitude in abroad? 

F: YAMBAG from Cleveland are good contemporaries as far as sound goes, there's a handful of bands I like right now but I won't bore you. 

J: Nosferatu, Roobydocks, wild child (RIP), inservibles (RIP), the lowest form, good throb, Orden Mundial, Perspex flesh.

-Is there any good bands out there in Portland which we should keep our eyes on in these days? 

J: Hacksaw, Extraneous, impulse Control, decomp

F: and UNIX

-Have you played outside of US? Probably not yet, but is there any plan for tours in abroad?

J: I only make plans for the week. Next month is a mystery.

F: I really doubt this band will make it out of the country. Talks of a US tour with UNIX have been happening but we'll see...

-What are the lyrics mainly about? 

J: Cryptozoology, unexplained phenomena, black eyed children encounters, psychic vampires, the large number of disappearances of hikers and hunters from the national parks in the US; creepy stuff. Stuff or people that suck.

-How do you guys compose songs? some specific members are dedicated to it to bring completed song? or more like bring some riffs and developing it by jamming?

F: Me or Tam usually bring full songs to practice but I think we're at a point where we could make songs by jamming. John seems to come up with vocal patterns and lyrics pretty quickly after the songs materialize.

-You guys released tape from Edger records. But I couldn't find any information about the label. How did this happen? Who is behind the label?

F: EDGER is my thing. It's not really a label, I just wanted to be able to attach a name to the things our bands are doing. Most of the releases are funded equal parts by the band members and any money made goes back to the bands. Releases are:

NFE 001-CHOW LINE-six trax ripper demo

NFE 002- SWEATS DEMO

NFE 003- HEAVY HANDS/SWEATS west coast tour split cs 

NFE 004- SUCK LORDS DEMO

NFE 005- CHOW LINE DEMO 2 

-Why do you choose tape as format of release? was there any attachment for tape?

J: It's cheap and fast.

F: You can play em in a boom box, ya know like at the skatepark or walking down the street with your fuck up friends.

-Is there any specific goal/aim for SUCK LORDS to achieve?

J: To have the best worst band name in punk. We’ve succeeded.

F: To rip as hard as possible and be done playing before these dorks knew what hit em.

-What is the further plan for SUCK LORDS?

J: Record more and play more.

F: Go fuckin mental mate oi oi

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Let’s Talk About Movies: Why “Confessions of a Shopaholic” is a Fantastic Dramatic Comedy

by: C.E.Parker

Movie: Confessions of a Shopaholic

Rating: PG

Release Date: February 13th, 2009

Genre Listed on Popular Platforms: Romantic Comedy, Family

My Argued Genre(s): Comedy, Drama, Romance(Sub-Genre)

Film Duration: 1hr 44mins

Word Count(For My Review): 2,727

Yes, you read that title right. A Dramatic Comedy - also less popularly known as a “Dramedy”.

Also, warning: Spoilers are ahead.

For my first official movie review, I’m going to talk about the 2009 film “Confessions of a Shopaholic”. However, let me tell you a bit about me before jumping into the actual review.

First off, I’m writing an informal essay because there should never be a formal review of anything. This is just me, getting real with you, and telling you my thoughts and opinions of things. You can agree with me, or you can feel the exact opposite. In fact, if you feel differently about anything I say, feel free to let me know - I love hearing other thoughts and opinions.

Another thing to know about me, I hate romance movies. I hate the romance genre as a whole. It should never be considered a stand-alone genre because romance is just a type of platform for character development, and relationship development. Romance is a sub-genre. It should always stay in the sub-genre category because the main genre is what’s supposed to define the movie/book/etc.

Here’s some ground rules I have for aspiring writers who plan to write a story that’s entirely based around Romance:

DON’T.

Just, no. Scrap that and throw it in the fire if you have to.

A story should never just be about a character’s relationship with another character (or characters). A story needs to have something that drives the protagonist on some sort of journey, whether it’s trying to save the world, or just self discovery. “Fifty Shades of Grey” is arguably the worst book ever written, because the story drives around a romantic(?) plot.

Let me explain: Anastasia Steele; what do we know about her? She’s a grad student, and she interviews Christian Grey for her friend who is unable to do it. She bites her lip a lot, and is easily manipulated into questionable situations, and that’s about it. That’s all we know about her. Sure, she likes to read and write, but what else is there? She has no personality. Every time there’s an opportunity to learn something about her, the story takes a U turn back to her relationship with a hot rich guy who’s into some weird kinky stuff. Christian Grey is more fascinating than Anastasia, and she’s supposed to be the goddamned protagonist - not him.

Sure, maybe if you don’t want to read quality content with proper development, then go ahead and read that book. Some people prefer to only read about romance and nothing else, but I personally can’t stand it. I can’t tolerate them because suddenly the protagonists of these types of stories become Mary Sues.

Anastasia is the definition of a Mary Sue, and Mary Sue’s are the worst. If you don’t already know, a Mary Sue is basically just a perfect character with very little or no flaws, and no conflicts that they have to concur - or goals they need to achieve. Anastasia has no goals in life - at least, none that we know of - and her only flaw I can think of is that she’s easily manipulated.

But the protagonist in “Confessions of a Shopaholic” is the exact opposite of a Mary Sue, and that’s because the romance is kept as a sub-plot. I’ll say it as a cliche so you can understand what I’m saying: Romance is supposed to be like the icing on a cake. So when romance is used as the main plot, you’re just eating a cake made entirely of icing - and that gets unbearable after a few bites.

Now that I got all of that off of my chest, let’s go onwards to my review!

I was pleasantly surprised when I scrolled through Netflix and found a movie I once enjoyed as a kid; Confessions of a Shopaholic. I decided to watch this movie out of curiosity, to see if I only liked it back then because I was willing to watch anything in front of my face at the time. Now that I’m older and have seen too many movies to count, I have more acquired tastes than I did as a child.

After watching the movie a few nights ago, I turned it off and laid down in my bed, ready to wake up at 5:30am for work the next morning. However, I couldn’t sleep. An irrelevant fact about me; I have insomnia, and one of the reasons why I might have it is because I’ve always over analyzed the shit out of everything. So when I was in bed that night, I was stricken with the epiphany that I loved this movie. I was trying to mentally argue with myself, but I’d always be able to rebuttal my own argument with but’s and well’s, and eventually I succumbed to accepting that this movie is arguably one of my favourites of all time.

So here I am, ready to argue to you that this is the best Dramatic Comedy ever made. Why? Because the romance is a sub-plot.

The movie is about Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher), a journalist who aspires to work for her dream fashion magazine called Allite. This idea is relevant to the year the movie was released. But if it were released in 2017, it’d be about a woman wanting to work for a platform like Buzzfeed or something.

Anyways, Rebecca Bloomwood is working for a gardening magazine when we see her at the start of the film, and she’s on her way to an interview with Allite. Oh, and she’s obsessed with shopping. She has too many credit cards, and she buys anything she sees since the store mannequins come to life and call her in like a siren. I could make a whole theory about how she might be schizophrenic, but that’s not really the focused subject-matter for a movie review.

On her way to the interview, she sees a beautiful green scarf on display, and the mannequin sells it to her. She’s easily convinced to buy it, and uses all of her credit cards and a fifty dollar bill to pay for it, and yet she still doesn’t have enough to buy it. She runs out to the street, and asks the hotdog guy to spare some cash for her - completely cutting off everyone in line. After begging for money and making up a bullshit story that it’s for her freezing poor aunt, a 20 dollar bill is shoved into camera view. The man she cut in front of offers her the money just to get her out of his way so he can get his precious hotdog. She buys the scarf, and goes to Allite, but the job was given to a taller, blonde, and perfect woman before she even got a chance with an interview.

Rebecca is given advice from the male secretary to go to another magazine that’s a part of the same branch. That way, she can work her way up to Allite by starting off somewhere less appealing to her. The magazine looking for journalists is a savings magazine (the irony is hilarious) and she finds out that the editor is a man named Lucas Brandon (Hugh Dancy) - who just so happens to be the hotdog guy who gave her 20 bucks for a scarf she was trying to get for her freezing aunt.

She has a horribly awkward interview, and it ends with him scribbling her name off of the sheet, and her leaving shameful for lying to him about the green scarf.

The garden magazine she works for shuts down without telling their employees, so now she’s unemployed and drowning in debt. Her roommate and best friend offers her help, and she ends up drunkenly writing two letters. One, is a detailed piece on clothing prices being inconvenient addressed to Allite in hopes of getting a job. Two, is a twenty dollar bill and a detailed description on how Lucas can “stick it up his ass”.

Rebecca gets a call the next day from Lucas from the Savings magazine, saying how he loved her piece on clothing prices and offers her a job. She instantly freaks out, realizing she mislabelled the mail and accidentally sent Allite twenty dollars while telling them to stick it up their ass.

She gets the mail back before the woman in charge can read it, and she accepts the job offer at the Savings magazine.

Now, I don’t want to just explain the entire plot step by step, but that is essentially the first thirty minutes of the film - AKA, ACT ONE. What do we learn about Rebecca? We know she’s a writer, and that she’s also willing to lie to get what she wants. She’s quirky and awkward, but she also has a horrible addiction to shopping that has driven her to be over ten thousand dollars in debt. She’s also a hard worker and knows her goal. The choice she makes to drive her journey forward is accepting the job at the savings magazine. Rebecca Bloomwood is fascinating because she has a personality.

Throughout ACT TWO, we find Rebecca building up her career as she becomes the famous “Girl In The Green Scarf” - the name chosen by her boss, Lucas. She writes good financial advice for the readers of the magazine, and ends up becoming a worldwide phenomena. Her relationships thrive as she builds a strong friendship with her boss. Eventually, her friendship with her boss turns into romance, and it’s done so naturally. (SIDE NOTE: The scene where Lucas confesses his feelings for Rebecca is extremely cheesy, but it’s the only thing slightly unbearable to watch in the entire film.)

While this is happening, her shopping addiction is getting progressively worse. The movie portrays it as humorous, but it’s no longer funny when she hits rock bottom - losing everyone but her parents.

This movie is extremely funny, but it has a dark undertone about a person trying to get over a mental addiction. Rebecca is obviously depressed, and she uses shopping as a way to bring a brief moment of bliss. It’s like taking a drug injection. She gets a moment of high, but then it immediately goes away, making her feel worse than before she took her dose of pure bliss.

But then she saves herself by selling all of her unneeded clothes (she even sells the famous green scarf) to make enough money to pay back her debt. She turns down a job offer to Allite because she learns that she never truly wanted that job since it was just like shopping - it would make her happy for a moment, but then her bliss would soon disappear.

At the very end, she is no longer phased by the mannequins that scarily come to life, and she no longer sees them trying to be a siren call to her anymore. She ends up feeling eternal bliss in her personal achievement. The whole time, the movie tricked you into thinking her goal was to work at Allite, but in actuality, it was to cure her addiction problem. The joy she feels from being able to say “no, I don’t need it” lasts longer, therefore making her happy.

Then we see Lucas, who has the green scarf, and is standing there next to the stores in front of her. She ends up in a relationship with him, and describes him as being better than any store or credit card because he never denies or rejects her. She even inspired him to quit his job and open his own company that she ends up working at with him.

Why did I love this movie? Well I grade movies in three different categories:

Technical

Story

Entertainment

Technically, it was good. The movie was visually appealing with no awkward camera angles, and the performances were done convincingly well. I was surprised Hugh Dancy was the love interest in this film. I didn’t really know who he was before I saw Hannibal, So seeing this movie after watching that show gave me a whole new perspective on him as an actor. He can obviously play various roles, and is well rounded with no limits to what he’s willing to do. Isla Fisher also did a good performance buy keeping her character real and relatable. The soundtrack was very subtle and stayed in the background being almost unnoticeable/not distracting. My favourite shot was the ending where the screen fades to black, but the green scarf stays on camera, emphasizing it’s symbolism of her achievements in the movie. They seemed to put more of their focus on the other two aspects which is why I’m giving this section a 6/10.

The story was incredible, It had me laughing hysterically for most of the film. There’s a few scenes in particular I’ll never forget, like when Rebecca and Lucas were dancing, and she kept smacking him in the face with her fan by accident. Or when he first hired her and asked her to find a good angle, and immediately afterwards she Googles “What are good angles”. But, a lot of the things I were laughing at were the corny scenes. Specifically, the scene where he confesses his feelings for her. It was really rushed - not the development, per se, but the scene itself was what was rushed. It was maybe a 1-2 minute scene on the balcony of a building, and they exchange maybe a total of 7 sentences overall to each other in the scene. The scene should have been presented differently, and they maybe shouldn’t have them kiss there either. I really loved the conflict with her addiction, and that was what made me fall in love with this movie. It was showing a real person struggling with a real problem people could relate to. Another thing I loved about this was how the romance was left as a nice icing on top to a story - which is what it’s supposed to be. The love interest was, technically shoved into our face with how the 20 dollar bill took up the whole camera for a moment. But regardless of the camera technique, he was introduced very subtly. It was enough to allow the audience to know that we may see this guy again, but they didn’t shove it into your face all slow motion like, “This is the love of her life right here.” They also allowed their relationship to grow at a natural pace, but the confession scene was just a mess. I wish they put the same effort into the confession scene as they did with their development as a whole. I also love the symbolism! The scarf seems to symbolize Rebecca and Lucas’ relationship, but it also symbolises her achievements, and the overall message about consuming oneself into materialistic things. Since there were some unbearable corny scenes, I’m giving this section a 7/10.

Latsly, the entertainment value. Did I enjoy watching the movie? Yes I did. Sure, it was a bit of a guilty pleasure at times since most of the jokes were incredibly cheesy. But I really enjoyed how in depth this movie really is if you pay attention. The corniness is purposely masking the depressing aspect since that’s exactly what the main character is doing herself. She’s trying to hide how depressed she is from everyone by allowing herself to stay quirky, and giving herself a high off of shopping to keep herself happy and content. I’m giving this section an 8/10

Overall, I give this movie a 70% as my critical rating. However, this movie has slipped its way into my heart, and is now a movie I’d recommend to people. If anyone asks me some good movies with a good romance, this will definitely be on that list I’d give them.

More reviews will come, but please remember: nobody’s opinion on a movie matters except for your own. The only person who can truly convince you of something is yourself.