#airing during pride month for a reason obviously
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rystiel · 6 months ago
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this episode airs in june. by the way. doctor whoke do your thang 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
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iwaoiness · 10 months ago
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Hugging and golding
When the ball hits Poland's area with a powerful cross spike, the immense stadium falls into a second of intense silence before the crowd unleashes waves of euphoria, drowning out the final whistle that signals the end of the match and heralds Argentina as the undisputed victor.
Gasping for breath, Oikawa’s heart pounds in his throat, swear trickling down his face like rivulets, cheeks flushed with exhaustion, arms numb, legs burning with fatigue. He’s in a state of assimilation that last only a bit when his entire team throws upon him in a collective embrace joined by the entire coaching staff. He’s engulfed in sweaty arms, sobs of joy, tousled-damp hairs, heartfelt praise and we won, we won the gold.
And Tooru returns the hug, overlaps the sobs with laughter, returns the compliments and adds that obviously we won, you idiots, aren't we the strongest team?
But there is a void in the celebration. Someone is missing. His arms know it and have been missing him for months. His name repeats in his mind on a loop like the lyrics of an old song.
Hajime. Hajime. Hajime. Hajime.
His teammates begin to disperse, Oikawa breathes a little easier, and his eyes immediately scan the stans restlessly. He knows Iwa-chan is there. Throughout the match, he felt his gaze on him, giving him the push he needed to make one of his best settings that led them to victory. Amidst the cheers, he heard Iwa-chan’s voice, rallying him with every serve, his hit ‘em until they break! And during each break, he saw his figura in the crowd, laughing with his family, Mattsun and Makki.
"Tooru!" Oikawa's head whips around at the sound of the familiar voice to his right, and his lips tremble as he sees Hajime leap over the advertising boards and run towards him. Iwaizumi’s wearing his Argentina national team shirt, with the flag on the chest and the number 13 in the middle, snug fit around his broad shoulders and chest, but also a little bit long, the fabric bunching up at the waist of his dark jeans.
With shaky steps, Oikawa begins to move towards him, his legs trembling beneath him until he collapses under the weight of his emotions. But there, as always, is Iwaizumi, ready to lend his support, his arms reaching out just in time to envelop Oikawa in a comforting embrace. Oikawa stifles a sob, tears threatening to spill over as he buries his face into Hajime's shoulder.
He’s here. You are here.
He feels Iwaizumi's arms wrap around him as an angel's wings would; one at his lower back, another between his shoulder blades, clutching him tightly, keeping him upright. And then, shortly after, a hand in his hair, gentle fingers sinking into the tangle of his locks. The weight of Hajime's chin on his shoulder, his warm breath caressing his ear as he repeats i'm so, so fucking proud of you, my love, you did it over and over again in a voice charged with affection, with pride, with adoration. And Tooru laughs through his tears, sinking deeper into the embrace, wanting to melt into Iwaizumi until he fits into the hollow between his heart and soul and stays there for eternity.
"We did it" he marks because is unable to think of a victory without Hajime.
Iwaizumi was with him since his hands wrapped around a volleyball for the first time, he was with him through every victory and every defeat at Kitagawa Daiichi and Seijoh. He never allowed him to plummet to despair, never enabled self-loathing or blame to take root within him.
Hajime is the clean air of the Miyagi’s hills, the fresh earth after the rain, the final surge toward the finish line, the resolute headbutt, the voice of reason and calm, the sound of undisturbed river, the firmness of a rock.
"Idiot" Oikawa hears him smile, feeling his big hand caress his back now. "The gold, you’ve clinched the fucking gold" He breaks away, just a little, just enough to interlock gazes, bright and glittering as if they've stolen all the stars from the sky.
His hands cradle Oikawa's face, his thumbs wipe away his tears and Tooru nods, laughing again.
"But now my whole-body hurts, Iwa-chan" He protests childishly, but his voice sounds genuine, happiness imbuing each word.
"Whiner brat" Hajime teases, pinching his nose gently before leaving a soft kiss on his lips. "You're my proud," he whispers against his mouth, low and sharp tone that resonates deeply within Oikawa’s soul. He fights back tears, whispering an earnest i love you so so much and hugging him tightly. Hajime is what he has made Tooru to be, the silent guardian who has nurtured Tooru's growth.
...
i'll never be tired of this two
u can find this and find me on my ao3 🍉
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flovvrish · 2 years ago
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YOUR DISTANCE
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PAIRING: alhaitham x reader , GENRE: fluff, frenemies, romance, friends to lovers, gn!reader, WORDS: 2.07k
WARNINGS: 3.2 spoilers
A/N: I hope you all enjoy!! I went far beyond the word count I expected, but I think it turned out pretty well.
Part 1
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You thought you were incapable of dealing with Alhaitham and his unruly behavior before…arrogant…prideful…Keeping only his goals close to his heart. All of these attributes weren’t new about him. You still remembered his behavior when he first met both you and the traveler. To most he would have been considered more unbearable then than he actually is now. Yet for some reason you didn’t share the same sentiment.
He played with the minds of so many people, whether it be for his own good, or as a means of reaching an overall goal. During the celebratory dinner attended by those who helped overthrow the previous Akademiya head, he demonstrated that he was aware of the emotions of others despite that. You don’t know why such a simple revelation changed something in you …
You found yourself even more incapable of tolerating his presence than usual. Even now, as you sat a few feet away from him, you felt your heart pounding in your chest.
The real wringer about all of this was the simple fact that he … wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Every inch of his mind was focused on returning to the Akademiya, brows knitted in thought as he silently planned your route for the next couple of days.
He was doing his job, as he should. Yet somehow, something as simple as that managed to put you on edge.
Every time your eyes so much as grazed his figure, you had the undeniable urge to look away. And you did so without fail. When your eyes occasionally meet by accident, you’d be the first to break it and find a new interest in the wildlife around you.
You hated the way your heart pounded in your chest, as unforgiving as the storms that blew through the lands of Sumeru. Sometimes you swore you’d pass out due to the sheer intensity.
You told yourself it was because of how much you couldn’t stand the man. That your tolerance of him had become so thin that you’d become allergic to his presence alone. That was all a lie, obviously.
No matter how hard you tried to escape the fact, the truth would always prevail.
Somehow, in the few months that you’d worked alongside the mysterious scribe, you’d grown to hold some sort of affection for him. And that was a fact that you simply couldn’t accept.
Alhaitham was notorious for his shady business. Tighnari, Cyno, and many others were all cautious when at the notion of him acting as a possible ally. Being a Sumeru resident yourself, you could sympathize with their hesitance. You knew of the stories.
That just made your newfound feelings towards the man all the more infuriating.
“Y/N, let's move.” Alhaitham commanded, motioning you to follow his lead. “I’d like to settle down before nightfall.”
A curious brow rose, turning your head to properly face the man ahead of you.
“What’s the rush? I thought you didn’t have to return until at least two days. If we wanted to, we could just stop here.” You offered.
He shook his head in dismissal, raising his finger to the clouds aggregating above. If you observed your surroundings more closely, you would have noticed how humid the air was compared to earlier.
“A storm is coming, so it would be best if we found shelter as soon as possible.” He concluded. “If you’d like to stay out here and catch an unfortunate ailment, be my guest.”
It was almost funny how quickly Alhaitham was capable of switching his demeanor. Just this morning he teased you with ease, now such playfulness was nowhere to be seen.
Whenever he was placed in a work focused environment it was rare for you to catch a glimpse of his playful side, but the second professionalism was no longer an issue, it was almost impossible to get rid of.
It didn’t take you long to find a nearby cave to set up camp in. The dampness of the ground was uncomfortable with the newly formed mud sticking to your knees as you unpacked.
Alhaitham did something similar in the other corner of the cave. Neither of you spoke a word for what felt like eternity.
The spell had only been broken once a heavy sigh left the man’s lips, his hardened gaze directed towards you.
“Alright I’ve had just about enough of this…what is wrong with you?”
The sudden statement caught you off guard, the visible jump of your figure before you could even begin thinking of something to say. What were you planning on telling him?
Oh nothing much, I just found out I have a major crush on you is all. It’s not like I’m thinking about you all the time or anything haha!
Yeah right. You wanted nothing more than to bury these feelings where they’d never see the light of day.
You knew that despite Alhaitham’s previous reputation…as the stand-in for the Grand Sage, he’s garnered quit the attention from the young women throughout the Akademiya. They eyed him every time he walked through the halls, giggling like a group of schoolgirls…though to be completely fair, that’s exactly what half of them were.
It’d be easy for him to find someone more suitable than someone who’d gotten into the Akademiya through unconventional means. Had it not been for the overthrowing of the previous establishment, you’d still be some nameless insurgent wandering through the lands of Sumeru.
Slowly turning towards the Scribe, you plastered a smile onto your features, hoping to snuff whatever suspicions he held surrounding your behavior here and now.
“Oh nothing! I’m just a little tired is all…I might call it a day earlier than usual. There’s no use collecting data if I can’t even comprehend it correctly.”
You lowered your gaze to the items laid out in front of you, silently berating yourself for the poor excuse. Who even believes the ‘I’m tired’ excuse these days? You may have well just said you’re absolutely freaking out, and the look on Alhaitham’s face only further supported this thought. Despite his mask of aloof nature, the scribe was anything but ignorant to the feelings of others.
“Don’t lie to me.” He scolded. “You know full well that your actions don’t go past me so easily. You’ve been distant since we first headed out. What happened?”
You felt yourself shrinking at his statements. Were you really being that obvious? You thought you were doing a pretty good job up to now. It seems you were just lying to yourself the whole time.
“It’s nothing…really.” You sighed in defeat, looking off to the side. “I’ve felt out of it lately and well…I don’t know what to do about it.”
A brow rose on the man’s face, accompanied by an unreadable glint reaching his eyes.
“Oh? Do indulge me on this feeling. Perhaps I can lend you a hand?”
He was being surprisingly cooperative at your confession. You expected some sort of tease at the very least, but he actually seemed genuine in the want to help out. The observation only further influenced the warmth spreading through your chest.
“I uh, it’s okay. Really. I should be able to get over it by tomorrow.”
You sent him another smile, though this one felt much more genuine, even to you. You were grateful for his assistance, even if he was the one causing your problems in the first place.
Despite this, he didn’t look the slightest bit convinced, an inscrutable expression prominent upon his face.
“Didn’t I just tell you not to lie to me? So why do you continue?”
He began to approach your position, perspiration forming on you with every step he took.
“L-look Alhaitham, it’s been a really long day and I really don’t know what to say so…why don’t we continue this conversation tomorrow. Okay?”
You hated the way you stuttered in the beginning, but it couldn’t be helped. At this point you were grasping for anything to try and bring this conversation to an end.
This didn’t stall his movements in the slightest, the scribe continuing forward, only stopping as his breath fanned your face.
You were now leaning against the rock behind you as an attempt to create some distance between you both. However, in your attempt you’d found yourself basically sitting on it as Alhaitham towered over you.
“Enough, Y/N.” He sighed, placing a hand next to you as a means of stabilizing his position under threat with his proximity. “You’ve changed… I can’t pinpoint it exactly, but it began around the time you joined the Akademiya. I’ve been trying to figure out why. What’s so different that you’ve begun avoiding me?”
Even though his voice was even and unwavering in its presence, you couldn’t help but notice the small signs that lingered around you. The clenching and unclenching of his fists, his hesitancy on saying more…and his eyes. They practically pleaded for an answer. He was scared, despite the front he put on before you.
“It’s not you.” You stated, fidgeting with your hands at your sides. “It’s…it’s me. It’s all me. You shouldn’t worry about it.”
You couldn’t handle the idea of him worrying about something that was completely out of his hands. You had to put that thought at ease, or else you’d never be able to live with yourself.
“Then what is it about you? I can’t just stand by while a friend is suffering in silence. I want to help.”
You felt yourself visibly flinch at the word “friend”. You knew he meant well, and that he was only trying to help…however you’d felt dread wash over you either way.
“Alhaitham stop. I can’t continue on like this.”
In an act of desperation, you pressed your hand against his chest, trying to create some distance. That was all you needed … some distance. You’d get it resolved eventually, just not like this.
Despite these thoughts, Alhaitham seemed to have other plans. Pushing you back down in defiance, yet still being careful not to slam you down onto the rock that lay just behind, he let out a growl.
“No, you stop. You can’t keep playing with people like this Y/N. Do you realize how much this affects more than just you?”
His face was right in front of yours now, a flash of anger and something else you couldn’t quite read making itself known as he practically laid on top of you.
“I can’t…” You let out, tears threatening to spill out as you stared the man down. “I can’t…not when all I can think about is you.”
There it was, that look of shock you’d expected as he straightened himself above you. How would he react? Disgust? Annoyance? Would he laugh in your face just as he had tons of other times in the past whenever you made the simplest of mistakes?
“So, was that it?” He questioned, keeping his gaze focused on your unmoving form.
“W-was that it? Was that it?” You hissed, watery beads now trailing down the surface of your cheek. “I just spilled out my feelings for you jackass! The least you could do is at least give me a prope—“
Your mini-rant was cut short by the feeling of lips fitting themselves over your own, effectively muffling anything else you’d planned on saying.
You felt the way your face burned at his touch, the intensity of his kiss further deepening as you showed no sign of resistance. You sat in a mindless daze before finally allowing yourself to accept the kiss. A hum vibrating in your throat as your eyes shut, leaning forward as you hesitantly threw your arms around his neck.
You swore you felt his lips curl into a smile before leaning forward, tilting his head to fit his lips to rest comfortably against your own.
The both of you stayed like this for a time you couldn’t measure…the act so incomprehensible that you couldn’t even process it properly.
You were the one to part first, your cheeks flushed with heavy breaths passing your lips.
“Is that enough of an answer for you?” Alhaitham questioned, a smug smile plastered on his face despite his appearance being just as disheveled as your own.
Unwilling to provide a proper answer, you threw your gaze off to the side, only managing a small “Shut up.” In response.
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nanasparadise · 3 years ago
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“Imprisonment” Yan!Jolyne x female reader
This blog was in dire need of some wlw content. In that sense, I hope you had a happy pride month and enjoy this piece! 
Summary: You are the target of many inmates in Green Dolphin. That changes when Jolyne becomes your cellmate, for the better or worse. 
TW: toxic relationship, prison, bullying, violence, insults, threats, slight gore (ear mutilation), noncon kiss, allusions to NSFW, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY/MINORS DNI
Word count: 2853
I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life. 
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„Get your ass moving, girl!”
You truly hated it here. A day spent at Green Dolphin felt like being ten years in hell. The queue in the prison cafeteria moved forward quickly, since everyone got the same horrible food. As you hadn’t reacted fast enough, you’d received rude comments. At this point, you didn’t care about the insults anymore. You were used to them, you had no affiliation with anyone here, meaning the other inmates saw you as fair game. In addition to your nature as a pushover, you weren’t surprised to be the target of many prisoner’s sadistic streak.
You took your tray containing your lunch – a portion of rather questionable meat and some mashed potatoes – and went to your solitary table. A blissful sigh escaped your lips when you finally were alone in your corner. No, worse than any insults or solitude were the threats, hidden under fake smiles. Not a single day went without them. You always were forced to do ‘voluntary tasks’ for the designated mean girls of Green Dolphin or ‘lend’ them money. It was humiliating, really, but you didn’t want to end up beaten to death in your cell, so you followed their instructions.
Once you completed the laundry task, you decided to spend the rest of the afternoon in the library, hoping to find an interesting enough book to teleport you away for a couple hours from your harsh reality. You settled into the couch with a novel in your hands, enjoying this slight moment of calmness. Your peace was short-lived though as a blonde woman approached you, a saccharine smile plastered on her face. Oh no, you knew where this would go.
“Hi! How are you doing today?”, she greeted you with a fake happiness swinging in her tone.
“Fine”, you mumbled quietly, not being able to assert yourself.
“I’m glad to hear that!,” she replied, though you knew she didn’t give a shit about your well-being, “Look, I’m so sorry to bother you again, but could you give me ten dollars? I need them for something very important and you’ll get them back in no time!” She batted her eyelashes at you, seemingly coming across as innocent.
“I would, but I forgot the money in my cell”, you countered, trying to come up with an excuse.
“Then stand up and get it.” Her voice had already shifted into a menacing tone, eyes gleaming like a predator.
“I don’t know if I-“
“Y/N, that was your name, right? Well, if you don’t get me my money, our friendship will be ruined and you’re aware of the consequences of that, aren’t you?”, your fellow inmate replied while pulling you by the collar of your uniform up from the couch.
“Right…,” you whispered, accepting your defeat, “I’ll get it for you.”
“Awesome!,” the blonde chirped, all sunshine and rainbows again, “I’ll wait for you here,  just don’t take too long.”
That was how your life went. You didn’t complain too much, you knew it could be way worse than that. And it wasn’t as if you had much of a choice to change it anyway. You weren’t going to be released from prison in the next twenty five years. “So just accept it and move on, day by day”, you mused, repeating that thought every day.
Your life took a turn, however, when a new inmate joined Green Dolphin. She was a young woman around your age, dark buns adorning her head and a green fringe framing her face. You had been spared from a cellmate, but that all changed now, as she was your new roomie. “Great,” you thought bitterly, “now my last bit of peace has been stolen from me.”
She introduced herself as Jolyne Kujo. Jolyne seemed to be still quite naïve when it came to prison life, claiming she’d been conned and that her lawyer would certainly take her out from there. “It’s time to face the fact that no one cares if you’re here for a valid reason or not, trust me, I know it from experience”, you thought, though you didn’t dare voice that to her.
She actually turned out to be nice. And with that, you meant that she respected your private space and didn’t threaten you. In exchange, you offered her some advice on who to avoid in jail, which the woman gladly accepted.
At first, the change was barely noticeable. Jolyne kept herself quiet except for the occasional small talk in your cell or during a shared task. Instead, she chose to lounge around two other inmates you hardly knew, one with dark braids and the other with a weird-looking green cap. You were glad to see that at least she formed a group, being able to protect herself now better from potential harassers if needed.
Of course you were still exposed to them. You made your way to the shower as a woman with broad muscles approached you, face turned into a dark grimace. By her build and expression, you’d first assumed she was a guard until you’d noticed the familiar uniform.
“You there!”, she shouted at you, a finger pointing menacingly at you as she came closer, “Give me your money, now!”
You cowered back into the corner of the shower room, panic flooding your system. “I’m sorry,” you stuttered, “I don’t have anything on me, I can give it to you after-“
“Don’t fucking play with me, bitch”, she brutely interjected, nostrils flaring up angrily due to exhaling. Your aggressor stood now in front of you, a strong hand wrapping itself around your throat and threatening to cut off your airflow. She yanked you up in the air as she continued her assault. “You think you can pick and choose? Does this place look like fucking Disneyland to you? You better give me my money now if you don’t wanna end up choking water and being beaten up like the dirty street mutt you are.” You were already flinching when the prisoner raised her fist to punch your face as a voice suddenly interrupted you.
“I think that’s enough”, Jolyne said in a firm tone, a fierce expression marking her face.
“And who the hell are you? Wanna join your little friend here?”, your tormentor commented, unimpressed by your cellmate’s entrance.
“Big words for someone who’ll soon be nothing but a bloody pulp”, Jolyne answered, not faltering under the inmate’s glare.
Your harasser proceeded to laugh out loud at her words, obviously not taking her seriously. She dropped you unceremoniously as she shifted all her attention to your saviour instead. Desperately, you panted for air, your hands moving to your hurting throat. You remained in your corner as you observed the scene unfolding in front of you.
“As if you weakling could do anything against me,” your tantaliser spit out, still chuckling at Jolyne’s words, “I’d kill you with my pinky finger.”
Jolyne remained strangely calm, choosing to smile at the threat. “We’ll see about that”, was the only thing she uttered before she lunged at her with incredible speed.  Clearly, you weren’t the only one surprised as the inmate’s eyes widened as well. Jolyne turned the bully’s bewilderment into her advantage, her fist immediately connecting with the inmate’s nose. The latter let out a shrill scream, blood dripping out of her nostril. Clearly, she didn’t expect your roommate to do any real damage, let alone break her nose.
Jolyne shook the hand she punched her with, her knuckles reddened and slightly torn open from the assault. You kept staring at both of them, petrified and unsure about what to do now. 
“I’ll kill you for that, you bitch,” your aggressor barked out angrily, “and your little friend will pay, too.”
You started trembling at the thought of her hand around your neck again. 
“I’ll look for a guard, Jolyne”, you eventually said, the fear barely hidden in your voice. You decided this was enough and someone had to put an end to this. 
“Stay here”, your cellmate replied authoritatively. For the first time, you were actually scared of her. “I’ll teach this woman that she needs to face consequences for her actions.”
With these words, Jolyne placed her fingers on your tormentor’s right ear. You wondered what she’d do next when a sudden yell disrupted your thoughts. The inmate’s cry was far worse than the previous one, emitting all of her pain and agony. You could hardly listen to it. 
Then, with great horror, you finally noticed it. Her ear shell laid on the floor, blood coating the cut off organ. Your gaze travelled to Jolyne, waiting for an explanation to your unvoiced question, though she kept her eyes fixated on the prisoner’s pain-ridden face. 
“You won’t touch Y/N or me ever again, did I make myself clear?”, she asked, her voice coated with barely concealed anger. Your bully only gave out a whimper, but the answer seemed to satisfy Jolyne. “Good. Now, if you see any guards, you keep our names out of your mouth, unless you want to lose another body part.”
The following weeks, Jolyne had become overly protective. She clung to you like a lost child, afraid that you’d be hurt or threatened again without her presence. You didn’t know if you should be grateful or terrified for her protection. 
You’d asked her how she’d been able to cut that one prisoner’s ear off, but her explanation had been more confusing than enlightening. She’d talked about a Stand ability and how only so-called Stand users could see and wield it, but nothing made sense to you. You started to believe she’d just lost her mind. 
Jolyne had also introduced you to her friend group. Ermes and Foo Fighters seemed nice enough, though they behaved in the same weird manner as your cellmate did. You felt awkward in their presence, not knowing why you were even there in the first place. 
In the end, you decided to be thankful. With Jolyne and her friends by your side, no one bullied you anymore. And if your peace meant to spend some time with your cellmate, that was a small price to pay, right? 
~
You didn’t notice the pair of chartreuse eyes observing every bit of your sleeping form. You never did. 
Jolyne had been looking at you for many nights. This time, it wasn’t an exception. She tentatively brushed her hand over your cheek, marvelling at your slight reaction as you furrowed your brows at the touch. 
“You’re really cute Y/N, do you know that?”, she whispered to you. Of course you were unable to answer. 
Jolyne had been unusually shy around you. She was well aware of the fact that after her act of violence, you felt uncomfortable around her, possibly even scared. She tried so so hard to make you see that she was only protecting you! In fact, the young woman wondered how you could have even survived in Green Dolphin before her arrival. 
She had a hard time picturing your life without her in it. At first, she’d been furious and crushed at the revelation that her ex-boyfriend had purposefully framed her for a crime she hadn’t committed. She had loved Romeo, so naturally, her heart had been broken. 
But then, you entered her life. She saw now why she needed to be here. Who else could protect you, love you, like Jolyne? You were everything she had ever wanted. 
Lovingly, she placed a small kiss on your cheek. You stirred slightly from the feathery peck. Nevertheless, you continued your slumber. Jolyne wished she could touch you more deliberately, more intensely. She’d grown tired of this little hiding game. The prisoner didn’t want to secretly let your brush run through her hair anymore, imagining it were your fingers instead or coo at you when you were sleeping. No, she wanted to feel you, to be touched and loved by you. 
Sure, you might feel uncomfortable around her, but that was only because you didn’t see how much she cherished you. Maybe it was time to be bolder around you. 
“Hey Y/N, could you give me my toothbrush, please?”
“Sure”, you replied casually as you handed the desired object over to her. 
“Thanks, you truly are the sweetest.”
Your face heated up at her flirtatious tone. “She definitely didn’t mean it in that way”, you thought to calm your nerves. 
“You still don’t want to join me showering? I’d hate for you to get attacked again”, your cellmate asked you, concern swinging in her voice. 
“I’m good,” you mumbled, “I’ll just go next morning. And I doubt anyone’s gonna threaten me again after your lesson.” The thought of Jolyne mutilating another inmate terrified you, no matter how much your former aggressor deserved it. 
“Come on, you’re just afraid to see me naked,” Jolyne teased while giving you a toothy grin, “it’s alright, you can tell me. I don’t mind.” 
You didn’t think you could get more flustered. “That’s not it!”, you countered hastily, “I mean not that you're not a beautiful woman or anything, it’s just that…”
Jolyne stopped listening and straightened her back. You thought she was beautiful? Was this finally the moment she’d been waiting for? A dreamy expression marked her bright eyes. 
“You think we could be a thing?”, Jolyne interjected your rambling.
“What?!”, you stuttered, unsure if you heard her correctly. 
“I mean, I do really like you.” Suddenly, she stood up from her bed and moved over to you. You stared at her big-eyed, still not knowing what was going on. A hand came resting on your cheek as her gaze was locked on you. “Who am I kidding? I’m totally in love with you.” She softly traced her fingers over your skin, sending a chill down your spine. 
“Jolyne”, you whispered quietly. You had no clue how to handle the situation, images of her brutal side flashing up in your mind again. You gulped harshly. “I didn’t know you felt this way, I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends,” the young woman retorted, “we could just be more, you know?” Jolyne leaned into you, closing the space between you, as her lips landed on yours. She kissed you with gentleness and care, as if you were made of glass. When you felt her teeth slightly tugging at your bottom lip, begging for more, you eventually snapped out of your surprise and pushed her away from you. 
“What was that?”, you asked her out of breath, unable to conceal your anger. 
“I’ve kissed you, silly.”
“I’ve just told you that I’m not interested in a relationship!”
Ah yes. That must have been when Jolyne had blended you out in favour of marvelling at your compliment. 
“I think you should think about that again”, your cellmate replied, a dark edge manifesting in her voice. 
“And why is that? Do you want to cut my ear off too?”, you asked, your iritateness making you feel reckless. 
Jolyne huffed at your comment. She did that for you! 
“At least you could be grateful for what I did,” she spit out, “but no, I’d never hurt you. I can’t guarantee the same thing about the other inmates though.”
You immediately caught onto the threat. Your anger easily transformed into fear again as you realised what impact your words had on the woman in front of you. When Jolyne noticed you wouldn’t counter, she put her hand on your body again, this time deciding to let it travel up and down your arm. 
“If you keep saying mean things to me,” she said, her voice still sounding menacing despite her gentle hand movement, “I might just not talk to you anymore. Once the others see that we’re not hanging out anymore, they’ll just change their mind and choose you as their target again. And what do you do without my protection? You don’t want to be their punching bag again, do you, hm?” 
“No”, you managed to utter silently, eyes cast onto the floor. 
“Look sweetheart, I can make an exception for today. I’ll forget your behaviour and you reciprocate, right? Unless you want to go back to your initial position.”
“No!”, you answered a bit too fast, your eyes looking at her face again. You could only imagine what the inmate with the mutilated ear would do to you… “I’ll be good, I promise.”
Jolyne took hold of chin, ensuring that your eyes were still trained at her. Then, she kissed you again. Despite your feelings, you gave in, much to her pleasure. When she eventually removed her lips from yours, she shot you another love-struck gaze. 
You knew your life in Green Dolphin had been shitty before Jolyne, but now you only felt what it meant to be truly imprisoned. 
“I’m glad to hear that, honey,” the young woman said with a bedazzling smile on her face, “I’d suggest we finally take a shower, after all I can’t wait to see everything of my darling.” 
Her grin gained a sinister note. 
“And we’ll see how the night goes after that.”
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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago
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childhood secrets ~ hannibal lecter;hannibal
word count: 1711
request?: yes!
shady80smusicsingercolor “Hey! Can i request something
Hannibal l x reader
The reader kept her childhood a secret from everyone,until she was watching news about a teen getting bullied,she remembers her childhood and just cries.Hannibal notices and goes run up to her,ask what's wrong.She explain what happen,that her childhood friends used make fun of her,or calling her weirdo.Hannibal comforts her
Hope is okay❤”
description: after hearing the story of a teenager’s tragic passing, unwanted memories are brought back to her
pairing: hannibal lecter x female!reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts, mentions of bullying
masterlist
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“Did you hear about the Thompson girl?” Zeller asked as we examined some DNA for a case.
“Who’s the Thompson girl, first and foremost?” I asked.
“She was friends with Abigail Hobbs when she was sent to that psychiatric facility,” Price explained. “They were room neighbors I think.”
“Oh! That Hannah girl! What happened to her?”
“Her parents found her dead in her room. Suicide.”
I was so shocked at the response that I dropped the tool in my hand. Both of them looked at me for a moment as I just looked down at my hands. I was trying to calm the growing PTSD rising in me.
“The poor thing,” I finally managed to say.
“Yeah,” Price said. “I think she was in the facility because of mental illness. Her parents put her in there after her first attempt.”
Zeller shook his head. “Poor thing. They shouldn’t have let her check out so soon. (Y/N), are you okay?”
I was still staring down at my hands. They were shaking and it was getting hard to breathe. I could barley register the fact that Zeller had asked me something. They were both looking at me, expectantly.
“What? Yes, I’m fine,” I responded. “I gotta get some fresh air.”
I threw my coat and gloves on a nearby table and quickly raced for the exit. I had to wait for the elevator to take me to the ground floor, but the wait was antagonizing. My chest and throat felt tight, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
When the elevator door opened, I was faced with Jack Crawford, Will Graham, and Hannibal Lecter.
“(Y/N),” Crawford said. “Are you okay?”
I couldn’t respond this time. I had to get out, I had to be away from there.
The breathe of fresh air in my lungs was just what I needed, but I was still feeling panicked. Flashbacks were running through my head, things I had repressed for all those years coming back all at once, hitting me like a freight train. I sat down on the sidewalk, trying to calm my breathing enough to go back inside.
“Miss. (Y/L/N)?”
I looked up to see Hannibal stood behind me.
“I’m fine, Dr. Lecter,” I told him. “You don’t have to check on me.”
“You’re very obviously not okay. You’re breathing is abnormal and you look as though you’ve been crying.”
I felt my cheek and was shocked to find that Hannibal was right, I had been crying. I hadn’t even realized it before.
“I’m fine,” I repeated, but the crack in my voice gave me away.
Hannibal sat next to me. I tried not to let him see my face, but I knew there was no turning back now. He had seen me in the elevator, he saw how unhappy I was at that moment. Any other person would just think I was overwhelmed from work, or maybe one of our discoveries had upset me, but Hannibal was a talented psychiatrist. He probably already knew what was wrong with me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
I chuckled. “How often does that one work?”
“Enough times to keep me employed.”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Zeller and Price were telling me about a girl that used to be friends with Abigail, Hannah Thompson. She...she...”
“I know,” Hannibal finished for me, luckily. Just thinking about having to finish that sentence made my throat tight again. “I wasn’t aware you knew her so well.”
“I didn’t, but I know...the feeling. Like you’re trapped in your own mind and there’s only one way out of it.”
Hannibal was looking at me, waiting for me to continue but not pushing me to go any further than I felt comfortable with. I wouldn’t have to go any further with my explanation if I didn’t want to, I knew he wouldn’t force me. We could’ve dropped it right then and there.
But my mouth moved before my mind could comprehend what I was sating, “I was the weird girl in school. While other girls wanted to be princesses or astronauts, I wanted to be a forensic scientist. I always had a fascination with crime and forensics and such. At first, I was just an outcast with no friends, until a group of girls took me in and added me to their group in high school. They weren’t super popular girls, but they also weren’t my level of outcast or anything, so, understandably, I was excited.”
“I’d assume it wasn’t as ideal of a situation as you were led to believe.”
I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes again. “They only befriended me so I could be their verbal punching bag. It started mild at first, just some friendly jokes that I could throw back at them. Then they started calling me the weird girl, the freak who liked death and murder. They’d make fun of me for reading stuff about unsolved murders, or even just murder mystery novels. They told me I’d probably grow up to be one of the unfound murderers in those stories. They put me down at every chance they got, but they were the only friends I had so I just...I dealt with it. I even gave up the opportunity to shadow at a police department during my senior year because I was afraid of them making fun of me more.”
“What was the tipping point?” Hannibal asked. “Obviously they are no longer around. I assume either you got rid of them or...they left themselves.”
“A bit of both really,” I responded. “One day, their bullying just got too much for me. My parents never liked the group, so I felt like I couldn’t go to them because they’d just tell me ‘I told you so’ - not because that’s how my parents are but because that was my irrational fear - and the teachers and guidance councilors and principals at school were garbage. They did nothing unless they actually witnessed the bullying first hand, and even then it was always a slap on the wrist punishment. So, I thought...I thought I only had one way out.”
I was still half conscious when my parents found me. My mother’s screams were permanently etched in my head, her sobs breaking through the otherwise muffled sounds I was hearing. Even when I blacked out, all I could hear in my head was my mother.
“They sent me to the same hospital Abigail was in,” I continued, skipping over the nasty parts that I couldn’t bare to relive. “My parents said I needed actual, medical help, that they couldn’t ignore my mental health issues anymore. I was there for months. I met people just like me, people who understood what I was going through. I made friends with a lot of them, and they’re all still in my life right now. My high school friend group came to visit me at one point. They seemed genuine enough with their apologies, saying they didn’t realize how much I took their words to heart and how they didn’t know how dark of a place I was in mentally. I don’t know how true any of that was, but they put on a good act. When they finished their groveling, I told them to go fuck themselves and to never contact me again. They were...offended, to say the least. Apparently they spread rumors about me at school, but I finished my senior year at a different school so it didn’t really matter to me. Went off to do forensic science in college and...here I am.”
For a moment, a look of pride passed over Hannibal’s face, as if the end of my story made him feel proud for me. I guess it made me feel proud, too, but sometimes I kicked myself for sticking around with that toxic friend group for far too long.
“I’ve never told anyone that,” I admitted. “Not anyone who didn’t know me at the time, anyways. I tried to keep it repressed, but hearing about Hannah Thompson...it brought all those memories back for me. Maybe I’m not over it like I think I am.”
“Mental trauma when your brain is still developing is not something one can easily get over,” Hannibal said. “It takes years, and even then those painful memories could follow you to your grave.”
I winced at the thought of having to battle with those memories until the day I died. Part of me was still worried that they would be the reason I would eventually die.
“But it is important to know that your old friend group was wrong,” he continued. “There is nothing wrong with being interested in something that the masses aren’t interested in. I’d argue that being interested in murder and police work is much better than wanting to grow up and be a princess or an astronaut. Your job helps the police to find serial killers and to save innocent people from being their victims. There’s nothing weird about that, not in my eyes.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Dr. Lecter. I think I just needed to hear that when I was younger and...no one really said it to me before.”
“I’m saying it now,” he said. “If you ever feel overcome with those memories again, please do not hesitate to call me. A beautiful and brilliant mind such as yourself should not be worrying over what irrelevant people have to say about you.”
I felt myself blush, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the reassurance Hannibal was giving me, or if it was from the compliment.
“I want to sit out here for a little while longer,” I told him. “I still need some air, and to come down from what happened back there. You don’t have to wait for me.”
“I don’t have to, but I will,” he decided. “I want to make sure you’re okay before I join my collegues again.”
I smiled at him again. I definitely wasn’t about to fight him on staying there with me. Quite the opposite, actually. If there was anyone I wanted with me in that moment, it was Hannibal.
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akitokihojo · 3 years ago
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Monster - Chapter 19
chapter index
“How far off are we talking?” Inuyasha asked, kicking out the fire as the rest of his team hurried to pack up camp.
“Ten miles, give or take.” Koga answered.
“How are you so sure it’s Hakudoshi?” Kagome asked next, strapping her bag over her shoulders.
“Anyone want to fill us in on what a Hakudoshi is?” Miroku implored with a bemused frown.
“A short, evil minion that we need to kill.” The wolf demon answered.
Blinking blankly, Miroku shifted his eyes over to Kagome for an actual explanation.
“Naraku created a group of demons. As far as we know, he had five. We killed one already, so now he’s down to four: Hakudoshi, Kagura, Byakuya, and Goshinki. Hakudoshi, we really don’t have a lot of information on other than he’s a child and has long, white hair.”
“He’s a child.” Miroku gasped.
“An evil one!” Koga feebly defended.
“Miroku, think of it as a design.” Inuyasha spoke. “Remember how we explained Naraku to you? How he’s an inorganic half demon? Anything he creates is essentially inorganic, as well. Child or not, Hakudoshi is still a demon of his that needs to go down.”
“Excuse me?” Koga sort of gaped at how that bit of information was so casually mentioned and how no one else was the least bit fazed by it.
“He’s just a little boy though, right?” Sango inquired sympathetically. “Isn’t there a chance he can be turned around and saved?”
“No, I think he’s a bit too far gone.” Kagome grimaced. “We had a friend that was sort of tortured into shape by Naraku’s guys. Hakudoshi was the main offender and was a fan of sharp objects.”
“Oh, okay. Evil child with a knife. Got it.” Miroku cringed, immediately throwing aside any further argument he could have thought of.
“The only one that’s worth saving is Kagura, but that’s a story for another time. We’ve gotta get going.” Kagome added.
“Hello?” Koga called, demanding their attention. “Inuyasha, what the fuck did you just say about Naraku?”
“Oh, that he’s an inorganic half demon? Yeah. You didn’t know that?” The hanyou shrugged sardonically. It was high time the secret got out to all that were involved since everything was so real now, but that didn’t mean he planned on sitting Koga and Sesshomaru down to have a nice, mature, informative conversation. That just meant he’d openly talk about it in front of them so that they could piece it all together on their own. It wasn’t like they could do much with it, anyway. He kept it under wraps for the protection of himself and everyone around him. Now, there was no further reason for it.
“Yeah, come on, dude.” Miroku arched a brow, playing along. He felt it was only his right since the guy just tried to punk him. “Even we knew that.”
“How the fuck… Inuyasha, what are you talking about? What does this mean?” Koga questioned seriously.
“It means he’s not a full demon like he wants everyone to believe. I can tell you’re looking for his weakness though, and I don’t know that. Technically, at this point, him being half demon is useless information. It’s nothing more than a fun fact. Half demon or not, he’s still a force to be reckoned with.”
“No, but half demons have specific traits about them, don’t they? They have a time of the month dedicated to basically emphasizing their weaknesses, right?”
“We turn human, yes.” Inuyasha tried not to grumble with his admittance. It was common knowledge. What wasn’t was the day and time it happened. “Naraku, doesn’t. I don’t exactly know what he transforms into, but it’s definitely not human, and potentially even more damaging to him. Be that as it may, do you know when that is?”
“Obviously not.”
“Then, it’s useless information.”
“How do you know this? Did you see it?”
“A long ass fucking time ago, I did. I was a kid; I wasn’t paying attention to the phase of the moon. Unless you know where he is and want to camp out every fucking night outside his place to wait and see if you miraculously feel his demonic energy die off, I’m going to have to repeat, this is all useless information now. It serves as nothing more than a stab to his ego.”
“Dammit.” Koga hissed. He was hoping that since it was new information to him, it’d be something they could grasp onto and utilize in the future, but the mutt was right. No one knew where Naraku was hiding, and camping out was obviously out of the question. Not to mention, a monster like that with the pride he harbors would take extensive efforts to protect himself during his moment of incapacitation. As quickly as he’d clung to the hope, the wolf demon was going to have to drop it. “Can you guys keep up while running? We should head out.”
“Kagome, get on.” Inuyasha kneeled, securing her rear as she climbed onto his back. With a little hike up, he was set to carry her at a decent speed.
“Kirara, let’s go.” Sango firmly ordered, and the small cat demon by her side let out a little meow, hopping into an open space as she transformed into her larger, saber-toothed version.
“Uh, there are things you don’t see every day, and there are things you see that make you think you took a little too much of Kaede’s good shit. What the fuck is that?” Koga pointed to the large cat demon, beyond perplexed.
“Kirara.” Sango replied nonchalantly, jumping on the demon’s back with ease. Miroku followed, not quite as skillfully, but not as sloppily as he used to either. “She’s my cat.”
“You’re not high, buddy.” Miroku grinned. “This is not an illusion.”
“Kagome, you’re from a weird ass village.” He shook his head, heading off in the direction he came from as he led the squad forward.
Koga had had to slow his pace down a bit since he knew he ran faster than the average demon and he didn’t want to lose his new comrades, but he was glad to hear no complaints from anyone. In fact, it was him that ended up doing the complaining. By the time they reached the fork where he’d left Sesshomaru, the high and mighty dog demon was nowhere around. As fruitless as it was to even call out for him, given his scent and aura weren’t in the immediate vicinity, the wolf demon still found himself audibly searching.
“Let me get this straight,” Inuyasha began, safely setting Kagome back down to her feet. “You told Sesshomaru to wait for you?”
“Yeah.” Koga frowned.
“And, you actually expected him to listen?”
“He said he would!”
“Did he say he would or did he grunt?”
Koga paused as he recalled the conversation with Sesshomaru, realizing it was the latter that he’d received. “Fuck!”
“Who’s Sesshomaru?” Miroku asked after climbing down from Kirara.
“Inuyasha’s older brother.” Kagome answered.
“Half brother.” Inuyasha corrected.
“They don’t get along.” She continued with a grimace.
“From the smell of it, he’s long gone.” The hanyou mentioned, his nose in the air to gather the area. “He went right. We’ll go left. There’s no use in you trying to catch up with him, so just come with us.”
“What happened to no teaming up?” Koga meagerly mocked, barely putting any effort behind his deriding tone.
“You can come with us, you can stay behind, or you can seek out the imp fucker. I don’t care. I was just giving you another option.” Inuyasha rolled his eyes, leading the way toward the left route.
“Alright, alright. No need to beg, Inuyasha. I’ll help you out, but only because you asked so nicely.”
Inuyasha barely bit back his groan, his head falling as he kept walking. He was going to regret this, wasn’t he?
“Koga, you never answered my question from before.” Kagome said, jogging a little to walk beside him as they all continued down the path. “How do you know this is Hakudoshi? Didn’t you guys say the underlings all give off the same scent as Naraku?”
“Oh, yeah. They do. We caught something feint and followed it. You’re not gonna like this, but we ended up coming across a house at the edge of the woods -“ Koga paused, pointing behind them to the West. “And, everyone inside was…”
“Dead?” Miroku attempted to finish for him, wondering if that was the word he was going for.
“I mean, yes, but a little more than that.”
“How can you be a little more than dead?” Sango asked.
“It was gruesome, okay? The bodies were mangled. It was an entire family torn to shreds. The smell of Naraku was strong there, so we followed it out. We got all the way to this path here, and the scent of him went down both ways. Hence, why I came and found you. That way, no matter what, more ground is covered and we can hopefully corner the fucker. Sesshomaru was adamant that it couldn’t be Kagura, Byakuya doesn’t look like the type who’d want to dirty his nails doing something like that, but who’s the one we discovered has a thing for torment? Hakudoshi.”
“You cannot possibly be that stupid, can you?” Inuyasha gruffly asked, abruptly stopped in his tracks as he spun around. His brows were furrowed and his lips turned down in disapproval. “This is most likely the biggest trap anyone has ever willingly walked into.”
“No, that was definitely considered.” Koga plainly responded. “But, it’s a chance we have to take. And, one you readily hopped on board with without any further information.”
“Because, I decided to trust you for once. A big mistake on my end, clearly.”
“So, if you knew it was potentially a trap, you’d let it all slide and allow him to get away?” The wolf demon challenged.
“I would have taken a moment to establish a plan.” Inuyasha scowled.
“Hakudoshi could theoretically lead us to Naraku. Sesshomaru and I already came up with a plan. Cover more ground and pin him.”
“You’re forgetting one major thing here, Koga.”
“Goshinki.” Miroku concluded. It was the only name he’d heard that hadn’t been considered.
“Right.” Inuyasha assertively confirmed. “That’s a creation we have literally no information on, and you two are going off of assumptions. Assumptions that could get us all killed.”
“What’s happened to you, Inuyasha? You used to be so carefree and reckless.” Koga teased. “Now, all of a sudden, you’re rational and want to put as much thought into everything possible? Why’s that?”
Inuyasha didn’t answer. His jaw clenched tight, and his amber eyes pierced through Koga’s blue irises.
“Oh, got it.” The wolf laughed, patting Kagome’s shoulder. “It’s because your sweetheart almost died, right? Well, don’t worry. I’ll be right here to save her again if anything happens.”
“You son of a -“ Inuyasha ground out, stopping himself before he could throw a punch at him.
“Koga!” Kagome pushed his hand off of her.
“Kagome, what?” Miroku demanded, marching forward.
“Goddammit.” She grumbled before turning to him. “Look, there was an incident, but I’m fine.”
“What happened?”
“Naraku’s puppet kicked my ass; I told you that already.”
“You didn’t tell me it’d almost killed you!”
“It’s not imperative knowledge, Miroku. It happened, it’s done, I’m okay, so let’s drop it.”
“What happened?” He repeated more sternly.
She hesitated. She didn’t want this to make her cousin worry more, which was why she’d chosen to never include that tidbit of information in the first place. It wasn’t necessarily her most prideful moment, either. It was terrifying. For she and Inuyasha. Bringing it up would help no one, and would ease the pressure on no one’s shoulders. Still, Miroku pierced her with his indigo stare, and she felt compelled to give him something.
“He tossed me off of the mountainside and into the river after the heavy rains had filled it. Koga saved me.”
Miroku could say nothing, his hand flying to rub the tension from his forehead as he closed his eyes. This was why she didn’t want to tell him. What good is it doing? It seemed to only be reinforcing his stress and the longer he was silent, the heated sighs leaving his nostrils, the more uncomfortable she was becoming. She could only hope he was taking this long because he was processing the information and throwing it away. He got what he wanted, there was nothing anyone could do to change it, and now the best thing to do was to let it all go.
But, then his dark blue eyes transferred to Inuyasha. “I thought you’d said she’d been safe with you.”
“Hey!” Kagome quickly shouted, though she didn’t immediately regain his attention. Nevertheless, she spoke. And, she spoke powerfully. It was like she could feel the admonishment sitting heavily in Inuyasha’s chest, and she wasn’t about to allow that to overtake him again. “It is not his fault! My safety is in no one’s hands but mine, so don’t act like I need bodyguards standing at every side of me! I am not fragile, you know I’m not fragile! I know it upsets you that you weren’t there, Miroku, but that’s the thing! You weren’t there! You don’t know how it all went down! So, don’t blame Inuyasha, because you don’t know how hard he was trying to save me!” Finally, his look had shifted back to her, and it seemed his frown became something less angry and hinting more on the remorseful side. “Redirect it towards me! Ask me what I had done wrong! I can list everything! I was too scared, I let my emotions get the better of me, I wasn’t strong enough, I hesitated - I can go on! But, you’re not gonna do that, are you? If you aren’t going to blame me, then I can guarantee you that it’s not going to make you feel better to place the blame on anyone but Naraku, so just drop it! It happened, it’s done! Let it go, Miroku!”
Swiftly, while the heat still bubbled in her core, Kagome turned around to face Koga. “And, you! What was that? Were you just trying to gloat because you didn’t like that Inuyasha opposed you!? Grow up!”
“I - I didn’t know that not everyone here was aware of what had happened.” Koga feebly defended.
“No, you just didn’t think before you said anything! You were throwing whatever you could out there to get under his skin! If you want to tag along, you need to learn to communicate better, understand!? Work with us or go find Sesshomaru!”
Then she turned to Inuyasha, sighing out some heat and allowing her glower to relax a little before speaking to him. He was innocent, he didn’t deserve her temper. So, with one exhale, she pushed as much infuriation from her being so that she could continue semi-reasonably with him. “I don’t really think that there’s any way we can come up with a plan for this. I think the best thing we can agree on is to be on high alert. Expect the unexpected. Or, did you want to turn around?”
“No, you’re right.” Inuyasha agreed.
“Okay.” Kagome breathed, though she faced the others in challenge. “Anyone else want to say anything?”
The group was quiet, and she’d noticed Koga’s tail drooped almost fearfully, his azure eyes on the floor and away from her. Good. It was immature of him to bring up her near death experience anyway; he should be ashamed of himself. He didn’t just cause Inuyasha to recoil, but gave her, her cousin, and Sango grief in doing so, as well. What an idiotic move.
“Great. Then, let’s keep going.” She concluded, turning around on her heel and walking forward at a quick pace. Everyone else, though, had to stay put for a quick breather.
“What did I tell you about pushing her?” Sango asked Miroku, coming forward to give him a half-sympathetic rub on his arm.
“Yeah, I know.” He grimaced, turning to follow after his cousin so that she wasn’t wandering off alone. “I’ll go calm her down.”
Inuyasha pinched the bridge of his nose. “The answer you were looking for is, I’m not sixteen, seventeen years old anymore, Koga.” He sighed. “But, it does also help to have someone else to consider when making your decisions. You should try it sometime.”
“That was terrifying.” Koga admitted.
“Yeah.” Sango laughed, her cat demon companion following her forward. “That’s what you get.”
Kagome could hear the footsteps approaching, easily identifying the gait as Miroku’s, and as soon as he was close enough, she glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’m sorry I left home without telling you, and I’m sorry if that felt like betrayal, but can you please try to get over it?”
“Well, that was blunt.” He muttered. “I wasn’t betrayed, Kagome. I was worried sick. Look, stop for a second.”
“No, because then the others will catch up and I don’t want them to overhear us.”
“Okay, fine, fair enough. Just try to look at it from my point of view. Please. Our entire lives, I’ve spent looking after you. Not just after I moved in when dad and uncle died, but always. I was the one who gave you the boost on top of the counter to get the cookie jar, and then helped you down. I was the one who put a bandaid on your knee when you tripped and fell. I was the one who stood in front of you when the henchmen came to our village. I know you don’t need protecting, but I’m your older brother. Whether you need it or not, I want it for you. I like to know that you’re safe, and when I don’t, it scares me.”
“That’s very sweet, but it also sounds like you’re saying if you weren’t there to monitor the situation yourself and something went wrong, you’re going to be judgmental about it.”
“How did you get that from anything I just said?”
“‘I like to know that you’re safe, and when I don’t, it scares me.’”
Miroku grimaced. “That wasn’t supposed to be turned against me.”
“I don’t know what you want from me, Miroku. I’ve said I was sorry like ten times already. I can’t go back to two months ago and change my mind, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. You can be mad at me all you want, I completely understand, but can you please try not to take it out on Inuyasha?”
“I didn’t take it out on him. I asked him a simple question.”
Kagome stopped walking then, pinning him with a stare that read right through his weak facade.
“O-okay,” He babbled awkwardly. “So, it was less simple and more a question that put him on the spot. I met the guy yesterday, Kagome. I don’t know him yet, so if he’s telling me he’s ensured your safety but Koga’s telling me you almost died, I feel like I have the right to -“
“Be judgmental?” She interjected, walking again.
“No.”
“He never said that, anyway. He’s contributed to my safety, but no one can ensure anything. Especially out here. You said it yourself last night, you and Sango have been through the wringer, as well. How many times have you guys been really hurt to the point where you needed to lay low?”
He bobbed his head in a small motion. “A couple times.”
“Right. It’s impossible to know what to expect outside of the boundaries of home, and we’ve all had to learn that the hard way. I’m not asking you to be his best friend, I’m asking you to take common sense into consideration, and to think before you react. You cant control what happened in our separation, and you just need to come to terms with the fact that I’m fine. I know you want to protect me, and I sincerely appreciate it. I do. I want to protect you too, which was why I suggested you two go home. But, you made your choice, and as much as I wanted to fight you on it, I respected it. It’s not like you’re blind to the craziness we’re dealing with; I’m sure you’ve gotten a pretty good taste of the morbidity out here. All I’m saying is, what’s done is done. Let it be done. Stop trying to make up for lost time, and just be with me now.”
“Okay, okay, okay. I get it. I’m sorry, but I’m also not sorry. I didn’t want to upset you, but it’s sort of shocking to find out you’d almost died. You can’t blame me for responding in a manner that wasn’t exactly the most positive.”
“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to find that out.” Kagome sighed. “I’d wanted to keep that from you, and clearly for good reason.”
“Why? Why wouldn’t you want me to know that?”
“Because, that information only hurt you, Miroku. Are you telling me it’s a good thing you know now?”
“Okay, I see your point.” He finally relented.
“It’s not like I’m trying to keep secrets from you or offend you in any way. I’m just keeping my business on a need-to-know basis.”
“I understand now. I do. Is there anything else I need to know?” He gave a crooked grin to try and lighten the mood.
Kagome heard the footsteps of the rest of their group coming around the bend not too far behind them now, and she peeked over her shoulder to make sure Inuyasha wasn’t in sight. Still, to be respectful of his sensitive hearing, she chose to keep her voice low. “Yeah. The day I’d almost died, it was really hard on Inuyasha, too. He was scared he’d lost me. He’d felt like he’d failed me. So, what you said - salt in the wound, Miroku. Not cool.”
“Oh. Ouch.” His smile stiffened. Faltered. “My bad. I can’t even apologize to him, though. I take it from the way you’d whispered that I’m not supposed to know.”
“Yup. Just keep it in mind for the next time you want to act like a tough guy. You don’t know the full story. I know that’s what’s bothering you, but handle it.”
“Are you saying I’m not tough?”
Kagome stopped walking and analyzed the size of her cousin’s biceps, teasing him by pursing her lips disappointedly as she pinched the muscle. The flicker of her brown eyes up to his said it all and Miroku gasped.
“Is this what I get? Is this the treatment I get because I care about you?”
“No, it’s the treatment you get because you’ve got puny arms.”
“The audacity! You’re small, too!”
“Miroku, she stabbed a guy in the groin with an arrow yesterday. I wouldn’t say that if I were you.” Sango chimed as they all appeared down the trail.
At hearing that, Koga’s eyes went wide, aghast, and he swiftly spun around on his heel mid-step to head back in the direction they’d come in. He’d been the most recent to piss her off, so it was evident he was the one she’d have no problem turning on if he spoke out of pocket again. He’d much rather head out to find Inuyasha’s brother than stick around to potentially share the same fate as arrow-dick-guy. Before he could take another step though, Inuyasha snagged the back of his vest, dragging him along.
“Keep going, wolf. She’ll only turn on you if you pretend to be alpha.”
“Inuyasha, I am alpha. I’m literally the alpha wolf of my pack.” He murmured unnervingly to the mutt.
“I know.” He smirked. “I want to see what happens.”
“Uh,” Inuyasha heard Kagome up ahead, noticing she’d stopped walking, she and her cousin facing off to their right. From his vantage point a little down the path, he couldn’t see what they were gazing at, but he could tell there was a break in the trees right where they stood. “It’s a cave.”
“Do you sense anything?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
She was right. The scent was feint, but Naraku’s trail ended here and went inside. He could feel demonic energy, but what was disconcerting was, he couldn’t pinpoint just how dangerous it was. Even worse, from outside of the cave, he felt eyes on him. Eyes he felt would only peer harder the moment they went inside.
“You got anything to help prepare us?” Sango asked. “We haven’t faced anything belonging to Naraku yet. How strong are we talking?”
“That sword on your hip,” Inuyasha pointed. “It’s not just there for show, right?”
“No. I’m highly skilled with it.”
“Good. You’ll find it’s a valuable asset to keep you alive then. Other than that, all I can say is to stay vigilant. If Koga or I tell you to back up, you back up. We tell you to get down, you get down. Understand?”
“You two went from arguing to playing co-leaders?” Miroku asked with an arch of his brow.
“You got heightened senses?” Koga asked. “You got keen instincts?”
He scrunched his nose in regret of his remark. He was on a roll today. “No, but I’ve got nice hair and great listening skills.”
“Wonderful. Then, you’ll be just fine.” The wolf remarked with a wink, bravely leading the way inside.
“Hey, you okay?” Inuyasha checked, grabbing Kagome as he sort of forced her to walk slower and stick behind everyone with him. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as he pulled her closer to kiss her temple, her stride falling in line with his.
“I’m fine.” She dismissed. “Sorry for what he said back there.”
“Don’t be. You still mad?”
“Nah, I was more frustrated than anything. I get where he’s coming from, I just don’t know how to make everyone happy right now.”
“Don’t worry about making everyone happy, kid. He’s spent over sixty days worried about you. By now, it’s almost a learned behavior. Show him he’s got nothing to worry about. Show him what you’ve got. Just like you did with me.”
The advice made sense. It made a lot of sense. Miroku had always stood in front of her, shielded her from so much while growing up, so simply telling him no one needed to do that anymore wasn’t going to be as effective as showing him what she’d learned she could do. He hadn’t been there to see her develop into the conjurer she now was, so his absence went both ways. He was going to have to drop his need for control, and she was going to have to demonstrate her formed abilities.
In reply, she smiled and nodded, glancing up to the hanyou in appreciation. Kagome gave a little perk of her lips to silently request a kiss while he was still so near, and he grinned, leaning down to quickly give her what she’d wanted.
Inside the cave, it was dark. Ominous. Inuyasha was right, he felt closely watched. Almost studied. He jogged ahead to catch up with Koga, the hit from his boots against the cavern floor echoing off the surrounding walls.
“You feel that?”
“Yeah.” Koga agreed, blue eyes searching for the culprit. There was nowhere for anyone to hide, though. Not so close to the entrance at least. The only way to discover the source, he felt, was to delve deeper, but deeper was where it would definitely grow increasingly dangerous. A turn of events they were prepared to expect. No matter what, Koga didn’t like the feeling swimming in his gut. “Come out of hiding! You wanted us to follow you, right!? Well, here we are!”
The wolf demon’s loud voice bounced off of the walls, repeating down the chambers the cave harbored, but no one replied. No one came out from behind a rock, or a nook in the siding, no one approached, no one was there. Except someone was. Someone had to be. This was Naraku’s scent, there was no mistake of that, but for some reason, the demonic aura was so engulfing, it almost felt like they were inside of a demon, itself.
“Well, if they didn’t know we were here before, they sure do now.” Inuyasha remarked dully.
“We give off demonic energy, ourselves, dipshit. Of course, they knew we were here.”
With a roll of his amber eyes, Inuyasha trudged on beside him, remaining observant of their surroundings as they traveled through the tunnels. The deeper they walked, the more sinister the feeling became. It was like wading through a sludge of demonic energy, and that sludge was toxic and thick, almost entrapping. Still, there was no way to pinpoint the source. It was all around, and he was trying to figure out the direction of a stronger pull, but he couldn’t.
Kagome fell behind. Just slightly. Out of nowhere, a very subtle dizziness began to hit her, but she didn’t want to worry anyone. She hadn’t had much water today, so maybe she was a bit dehydrated. It wasn’t bad at all, so there was no need to bring it up or ask for a small break. Maybe it was the energy of the cave. It was putrid, that was for sure. Definitely similar to what she felt when Moryomaru was near. Vile and rotten.
That had to be it. It was just overwhelming. Kagome tried to blink her slight case of vertigo away when the tiniest ache in her head pinched right over her eyes. No one else was reacting, though. Were they not affected by this? With a deep breath and a thick swallow, she pushed it all aside. If the demons of the group, more sensitive than she, could go forward, then Kagome could, too.
The further they went, the worse it got. She found herself squinting to see straight, tensing her throat so her pained sighs wouldn’t alert anyone. Her head wasn’t consistently throbbing, but came in waves. Not even quick waves. In fact, she couldn’t grasp the pattern, sporadically coursing through and causing Kagome’s brow to crease and her nose to crinkle each time. Again, she tried to gather if anyone else was having adverse effects to the atmosphere. Koga and Inuyasha seemed relatively uncomfortable but that was the extent of it, Sango and Miroku appeared fine, and Kirara had reversed her transformation to perch in her owner’s arms. Then, Kagome’s vision blurred momentarily, and her fingers twitched. What was wrong with her?
As much as she didn’t like it, she was going to have to say something. This wasn’t going away. Something was off. She was feeling a haze drifting over her, and it almost seemed like it was legitimately clouding her vision now. Kagome opened her mouth to gather Inuyasha’s attention, but her voice didn’t seem to work. Her body stopped as they all kept going, though she hadn’t told it to. Her brain was sending signals to her legs to keep walking, to her mouth to speak, but her command seemed to be meaningless all of a sudden.
And, when she blinked that time, she opened her eyes to see the bars of a cage before her. It was pitch black all around, not a sound to be heard, not a person in sight. No longer was she dizzy, and her head pounded no more. To her right, her left, beneath her feet, and above her head, she was surrounded by metal that sealed her in. The bars were cold and didn’t budge at all when she thrusted her bodyweight into it, trying to shake the lock free.
The shock to go from behind her group to wherever the hell she was now in a split second had her shaking, her lungs pumping as a panic sprung over her. She called for Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Koga, but no one answered. Her voice merely echoed in the darkness she was trapped in, the rattling of her cage from her forceful jerks against the bars hitting her ears over and over as the sound bounced off of walls she couldn’t see.
When she heard someone speaking, Kagome held her breath. Ice pebbled her skin. The voice was that of a child’s, a young boy’s, yet it held the underlying hint of menace. It was like she could sense the smile he wore, the enjoyment on his tongue, but he wasn’t talking to her. What he was saying, it didn’t make sense.
Inuyasha felt a spike, and both he and Koga stopped immediately. Ominous energy no longer filled the air. It was focused now. It was heavily concentrated in one spot. Behind them. The hanyou turned around to scour the open area they’d reached deep within the cave, spotting no one that didn’t belong, but then his stomach unexpectedly sank. It dropped so low, he thought he was going to be sick. The threat they were feeling, it was coming from Kagome.
She stood there, her hands raised up as she steadily moved her fingers one-by-one, her expression blank. He could hear the smallest mumble coming from her lips, but what she was saying, even he couldn’t make out. A sense of dread was overcoming him. Why was he feeling this? Even Koga seemed struck, confounded, saying nothing, but instead, actually taking a step away. The evil, it was growing. Evolving.
Miroku and Sango had turned to look, and Miroku was quick to notice something was wrong with his cousin, but as he went to step forward, Inuyasha hastily reached for his collar, pulling him back.
“Kid?” He cautiously asked. Kagome didn’t even look up from her hands. “Kagome?”
After a moment, she sighed and shook her head, her dark tresses fluttering around her shoulders. She made a few more subtle sounds from her mouth, the only clear word Inuyasha gathered being, “testing.” Otherwise, it was almost like she was learning to speak, clicking her tongue once or twice to discover how to make audible noise. Her brown eyes wandered around the large cavern, blinking as if to adjust to the dull light in the cave, panning over them, up, and then coming back to land on him.
“Kagome.” He tried again, this time more seriously. His heart was pounding as it would in the face of an enemy, his instincts were ready for an attack, but everything felt wrong. This was Kagome. This was his Kagome. He wasn’t supposed to feel this with her; it was all wrong.
Her plush lips parted, and a breathy, “huh,” was released. Her voice was high, sweet, and a timbre she rarely used.
Inuyasha let go of her cousin, knowing he was staying put now, and his fists clenched at his sides. Worse, Tessaiga began to quiver in its sheath, calling for his attention. It only did that in dire situations. It only asked to be released when he neglected to recognize it needed to be wielded for his own protection. It was wrong. It had to be malfunctioning because of the weird aura.
“Oh,” She sighed again, beginning to speak more clearly from then on. “There it is. Finally. That was tough - she’s a tough one.”
“Kagome -“ Sango tried.
“That’s not Kagome.” Inuyasha said, cutting her off.
A smile began to curl at her lips, and it scared him. It scared Inuyasha. It was crooked, arching more in one corner before it expanded on the other end, and her tongue tipped out between her teeth in a playful manner that made his blood go cold. That wasn’t Kagome’s smile, that wasn’t the grin he loved so much. Even Miroku twitched agitatedly at his side, stepping away before he looked at him with disturbance hindering the glow in his eyes.
“What’s wrong with her?” Miroku asked.
“What?” Kagome leaned her head to the side. “Don’t you recognize me…?” Her voice trailed off at the end as she nibbled her bottom lip. “Miroku?”
She seemed unsure of the name she spoke.
“Or, are you Miroku?” She asked, pointing to Koga, ending with a frustrated groan as she tapped her head. “Hang on, it’s a little jumbled in here. She wont let go just yet.” A few more taps. “Come on, lady. Let it go. Ah, no, I was right. Miroku.”
“What’s going on?” He reached, jaw taught.
“And, you’re Koga.” She pointed again to the wolf demon, completely disregarding the question. “Which obviously makes you Inuyasha, and you’re Sango. Got it.”
“Who are you?” Koga asked, stoning as he nobly squared himself.
“I’m Kagome.” She giggled.
“Who are you!?” Koga repeated in a lethal growl.
“Woah. Someone’s testy.” Her smile shifted to a wry smirk. “What are you so upset for? I haven’t done anything yet.”
“Don’t make me ask you again.”
“Or what? You’ll choke me out? Kill me? Look at me, pal. Whose body am I in? If you come at me with those claws of yours, it’s not me you’ll be touching. Come on, use your brain.”
Koga didn’t rebuttal, clenching his jaw and slanting his eyes dangerously, and her gaze bounced around to gather the discomfort written over all the others’ faces. Inuyasha, in particular, seemed the worst off. His hardened features screamed his seething anger, but his golden irises communicated something much different. Something more desperate.
With a grumble in the back of her throat, one that was small and held the attitude a young teenager would, Kagome rolled her eyes and lolled her head slightly, a small stomp being given from her right foot. “You guys are no fun. I’m Hakudoshi. Duh. Who the hell did you think I was?”
“So, this is what you can do? Mind control?” Koga glared.
“Way to simplify it. Don’t do me the dishonor.” Hakudoshi gestured to his entire self inside of Kagome’s body. “This is much more than mind control. I have control over her heart, brain, soul, you name it. Kagome has left the building.”
“Where is she?” Inuyasha questioned, his voice coming off husky.
Hakudoshi pointed to her head. “Right up here. She’s annoying as shit, how do you handle her?”
“Let her go. This is your one warning; let her go.” The hanyou growled. “You hold onto her, you hurt her in any way, not a single one of us will blink when it comes to ripping you apart.”
“You’d hurt your precious lover?”
“You think we don’t know your body is around here somewhere? You honestly think we’re that stupid to believe your entire entity is inside of her right now? No, you’re in this cave, we know that much.”
“But, where?” Her smile widened tauntingly. “This cave goes on for miles, and what makes you think you have that sort of time on your hands? You can go searching for me, but what’s your plan? Is someone going to play babysitter while the others go on a wild goose chase? Not a single one of you is strong enough, and that’s what’s fucking funny. Two humans and three demons against a conjurer. From the looks of it, three of you would be too sentimentally stunted, maybe four of you, and the last one - that’s you, Koga - would just get absolutely wrecked. Or, are you going -"
“Get out of her head, you stupid, fucking brat!” Inuyasha demanded, his claws biting into the heels of his palms with rage that was only building at an uncontrollable speed. How did this happen? It couldn’t have been that quick. Did Kagome feel anything weird, anything abnormal, or was Hakudoshi stealthy while he slid inside and took command.
She arched a brow at the interruption. “Well, that was rude.”
“You’re forgetting something, Hakudoshi.” Miroku spoke. “So long as Kagome is in there, she can still fight back. If one of us has to restrain her while the others go searching for you, so be it. Kagome wouldn’t allow you to hurt us.”
Hakudoshi guffawed, laughing hard as Kagome’s frame doubled over to clutch her stomach. “What!? Again, look at me! I have complete control over her!” He boasted, flailing her arms about. “This is all me, you fucking moron! Kagome can’t stop shit right now! She had just enough darkness in her heart for me to grab hold, and now the fight she’s putting up is worthless. I can utilize the knowledge and skills she’s learned by flipping a switch in her mind. If I want to kill any of you with her abilities, I can and there isn’t a damn thing you guys can do to stop me!”
“What darkness?” Inuyasha asked.
“I’ll actually entertain that question, because it was hard to find and I’m proud of myself. Apparently, holding Kikyo while she died was what did her in. Just a tiny bit. It’s been eating at her for a while now, hasn’t it? That’s not where it started, though. There was a little girl? One she failed to save, or something?” She grimaced carelessly. “I would say that created the smallest, dark spot in her heart, and Kikyo’s gory death made it about the size of a small ink stain. She’s resilient, I’ll give her that. But, not resilient enough.” That last part was almost sung while he emphasized each word of the sentence, tapping her finger in time. “All I need is an inch. So long as there’s darkness, I can take rein.”
Kagome could hear everything that was being said from within her cage, listening to this little boy speak through her. She could hear the others reply to her. It was like she was just a bystander to a conversation while she was also the main focus, and it was driving her insane. She felt completely powerless, rattling the metal bars as hard as she could, but the lock refused to give.
It didn’t surprise her to have darkness in her heart. In fact, what surprised her was how small it was. Kagome was the type of person to pick herself back up again, she never lost hope. In the era they were living in right now, darkness surrounded them, but it was what they fought for that made the difference. She knew that was what had divided her from Kikyo. She knew she’d been strong enough to avoid allowing it to take over her. But, she was human. Kagome was a human who’d been through a lot, who’d had her heart broken, who’d seen others have their hearts broken, who’d had her world turned upside down over and over. So, she wasn’t upset to know her heart had taken a hit. She was upset that her anguish was being manipulated against her.
How was she going to get out of this? Her back was bare; she didn’t have a single weapon on her. She stood in her cage in nothing but the clothes she’d donned that day, stripped of her bag, her arrows, and even her father’s blade in her boot. It was like the demon wanted her to feel as vulnerable as could be, to watch helplessly while he plotted in her own body.
Still, she shook the door of her crate, the metal hitting loudly, echoing, muting her scream as she demanded to be set free. Kagome refused to be a prisoner in her own mind, her own vessel. If he thought she was annoying now, she was going to create as much noise as she possibly could to give this guy a pounding migraine. Hopefully it would throw him off or distract him, though he seemed well versed in tuning things out. It was the best option she had until something better came along, and it was more important that she didn’t sit back and take it.
“Naraku’s not going to be too happy to learn she’s still alive.” Hakudoshi mentioned. “Though, given there was no validation of her death, he was fifty-fifty on the possibility, so maybe he’ll just do his notorious grunt before giving us our next orders to kill her. Which brings me to my next course of action. See, I honestly didn’t expect all of you guys to show up, no less the conjurer. I was trying to draw in Sesshomaru. I’ve been bored and felt like taunting him a bit, and since Naraku asked us to dispose of him, I figured I’d have some fun beforehand. Goshinki went one way, I went the other, and I was really hoping Sesshomaru would follow in my direction, but my dumbass of a brother broke his muzzle and found some villagers to eat, which stole Sesshomaru’s attention from right under me. Anyway, in you guys walk, and the moment I saw the conjurer, I couldn’t resist. Now, I’m toying with the idea of taking her back to Naraku. It’d save us both an enormous amount of time -“
“No.” Inuyasha rumbled.
“-and he can choose whether to keep control over her and use her to gain the power he’s always wanted, or kill her on the spot and remove any inconsequential threat she thought she ever was.”
“Like hell!” He barked.
“Right, right. Of course, you object. That’s to be expected, but it brings us around full circle. Obviously, you all were going to die the moment you set foot in this cave. No matter what, Sesshomaru and the wolf were going to be goners today, and Koga made our jobs a hell of a lot easier by bringing Inuyasha along. The rest of you are just bonuses, I guess. The thing about me is, I’m not really the, um, remorseful type.” Kagome leaned her head to the side, the smallest smile curling her lips. “I like it when people scream. Watching blood seep from wounds excites me more than anything I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t have imagined a better scenario. Now you all get to die by the hands of someone you care so much for.”
“Kagome.” Sango stepped forward, a valorous pinch to her brow appearing. “Kagome, you have to fight harder. I know you’re in there, I know you can hear me. Kick his ass. Push him out. Push him out.”
Kagome’s eyes were on Sango now, and for a moment, her expression had completely fallen. Her lips were straight, brow was uncreased, and her entire body had stilled. Then, she dropped her gaze, a shudder running over her, and a pout formed so fully that her chin quivered.
“S-Sango?” Kagome trembled.
“Kagome!” Her friend called urgently. “We’re all right here! We know you can do it!”
“It’s so cold.”
“Keep fighting! Keep -“ A flash of heat ran through Sango’s veins when she stopped, realizing Kagome’s frown had crumbled and it seemed like she was pinching back her laughter. Gradually, her stomach shook with amusement and a snort came through her nose, giving in to the one-sided humor of the situation as she laughed.
“Man, you should have seen your face!” Hakudoshi gloated. “How could you fall for that so easily!? You’re clearly not the brains of the group!”
“You’re despicable.” She said through clenched teeth.
“Thank you.” He replied with a grin.
“You guys need to go.” Inuyasha spoke lowly. “Find Hakudoshi. Kill him.”
“What’s that you’re saying over there?” Kagome rose her eyebrows in question, her head inching to the side curiously. “Trying the whole divide and conquer thing?”
“Go.”
“Inuyasha…” Miroku started, appearing more tense than he had before.
Was he expected to just run off and leave her behind? Sure, Inuyasha was strong and he and Kagome clearly cared about each other, but this was his family. This was his cousin, his little sister, being manipulated right now, and he was being told to leave her to someone else to take care of? That wasn’t going to sit right with him. It was logical that Inuyasha would be better at tending to this situation given he was stronger and faster, but Miroku was struggling with the aspect of leaving her at all.
Hakudoshi took the moment to shrug everything off of Kagome’s back, heedlessly dropping her bag to the floor before returning her quiver full of arrows where they belonged.
“Ah, that’s better.” She spoke, wiggling her shoulders freely before pulling an arrow free. “Miroku, tell me she won’t do it again.”
“You need to go.” Inuyasha insisted, giving the guy beside him a pressing look. “Get out of here.”
“I can’t leave her.”
Hakudoshi lined up the nock of her arrow with the string of her bow, utilizing Kagome’s skills by simply reaching into her brain. It didn’t matter if he had never shot before. Kagome knew how, and it was her being he inhabited. Anything she knew how to do, he was able to do as well. Pulling the string back, he leveled his aim, lining the arrowhead up in Miroku’s direction.
“Awe, let him stay, Inuyasha.”
“Look, I can’t protect you and her at the same time. It’s better if you go and find him. You need to save her.”
“Inuyasha’s right, dude.” Koga concurred. “We’ll only be in the way, and for what?”
“To help!” Miroku strongly stated.
“Where’s that arrow aimed, Miroku? You think you’re helping right now?”
“They’re right.” Sango said, backing up. “Inuyasha can handle this. We’ll be of more help if we find that bastard.”
“But-“
“I can sense your anxiety.” Hakudoshi grinned, teasing them all, adding to the tension on their shoulders. “You really think it’s gonna be that easy to find me? Do you think my body is somewhere in this cave, sitting helplessly alone? Don’t take me for a fool. Of all of Naraku’s creations, I am the genius. I am the more cunning. I am the imperceptibly strong one. You think Naraku made me a child for nothing? No. It was to deceive everyone. It was to strike more fear. You may only see your precious Kagome right now, but believe you me, you’ll be an idiot to think finding and killing me will be as easy as running off to save the day.”
“Oh, shut up!” Inuyasha commanded angrily. “The only thing you’re good at is fucking with people’s heads. You want to make us think it’s going to be difficult so we second guess or stall. Well, it doesn’t fucking matter. Either way, you’ve fucked with the wrong person.”
“Oh no, I’m shaking in my boots. Whatever shall I do?” She giggled. “I’m not just good at messing with your head, Inuyasha. Want to watch me drag you all down one-by-one? She’s yelling right now. Kagome’s trying so hard to break free, and she’s frustrated that she’s gotten nowhere. She’s beginning to lose hope. She’s really reliant on her weapons, isn’t she? Without them, she’s powerless, and boy is that catching up to her right now. ‘Inuyasha! Inuyasha, please!’” Hakudoshi called out in the exact scream Kagome was internally fighting with.
The hanyou flinched painfully, his jaw tensing, and a trembling breath left his nose. Every muscle in his body went unbelievably taut for a moment, horrified by how scared she was. He’d had to fight his instincts to protect her, because he couldn’t. He couldn’t do a damn thing for her right now except face her as she currently was.
“Miroku, she just wants to make you proud. Awe, you two have such a sweet bond, don’t you?” Hakudoshi said, violating Kagome’s mind as he discovered her thoughts, her emotions, laying them out on the table for everyone. No longer did she wear a smile. In fact, she seemed nothing short of serious now. As if hurting people was a business matter. “Grew up together, got into trouble together, lost your fathers together. The look on your face when you watched your one remaining parent die has stuck in her head for even this long. Wow, it’s so vivid, too.”
“Stop it.” Miroku muttered.
“You only held it for a moment before you realized she was looking. Then, you wiped it off and never showed it again, and she didn’t know why. But, it’s stuck with her ever since. Oh god, and your fathers went down in flames, didn’t they? Fire and bloodshed, demons everywhere, they were doomed from the start. You were trying to stop the bleeding even after your father shut his eyes. She saw you put on that brave face when it made the least amount of sense, and since then, she’s felt like she needs to put one on with you too in order to be taken seriously.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I know her better than anyone does. She knows perfectly well that I respect her and take her seriously whether she’s got a brave face on or not.”
“Knowing her better is irrelevant, Miroku. I’m in her head. I can see everything. You want me to scream again so that you’ll believe me, or what?”
“No!” He quickly sputtered, terrified to hear her desperation again. “No.”
Hakudoshi blinked, lowering the bow and arrow Kagome held. Her plush lips were relaxed together, and her gaze lowered just for a second before he looked back to her cousin.
“Her heart’s pounding right now. She’s scared. She really doesn’t like that you’re the one I’m threatening.” He cocked a brow in speculation, and as he continued speaking, it was more to converse inward than anything. “Would you rather Inuyasha? No? Sango? No, again? Koga?” He sighed in irritation, re-stringing the arrow. “Then, silence.”
“Go.” Inuyasha urged, feeling the gravity of the situation upsurge dauntingly. “You guys need to go.”
“What are you gonna do?” Miroku inquired when Koga grabbed his shoulder and began pulling him back to continue through the tunnels.
“Whatever the fuck I can.”
“No! I’m staying with you!”
“Oh, please do.” Kagome’s voice sinisterly brushed their ears while she once more aimed.
“Miroku, I know you don’t trust me yet, but right now, you’re going to have to!” He barked, shoving Miroku away. “What the fuck are you so worried about!? If anyone’s in fucking danger here, it’s me! So, if I have to tell you to get out of my way one more fucking time, I’m gonna kick your ass!”
“Let’s go, Miroku!” Sango dropped Kirara to transform, reaching for her boyfriend’s arm to pull back.
Kagome inched her arrow back further, pinching an eye shut for better aim.
“We’ve got this, Inuyasha.” Koga promised.
Inuyasha had turned away to regard them for a split second, grateful that Miroku had finally given up his obstinance, when he felt the incoming threat. Thinking as quickly as he could, he pulled Tessaiga, the sword transforming as each inch was freed from its sheath, jutting it out to successfully block the shot that was too close to hitting Miroku in the back.
In his peripherals, he’d caught Kagome waver. Her head had notched to the side and her hands twitched. Her face had twisted almost painfully, but before long, her deadly stare was back. As if it had never left.
“Oh, you’re fast!” Hakudoshi grinned.
Tessaiga transformed when defending against her arrow. It had been calling for his attention on his hip. No. He was almost scared to see if his hunch was true, but he had to. Turning back forward, Inuyasha squared, holding Tessaiga in the direction Kagome stood and watching as it stayed transformed, swirling with energy that should have died off. As if betrayed, he nearly dropped his sword to the ground. It was detestable, compromised, ruined, wrong. Tessaiga didn’t work against Kagome. It wasn’t supposed to. He’d figured out a while ago that it was meant to aid her. It was meant to protect her. Fate was a funny thing, and it managed to tell him he was born to be by her side, not opposing her.
“Inuyasha.” Miroku whispered apprehensively.
The hanyou slid his sword back into its sheath, and then removed the sheath entirely from his belt, tossing it to the side. “Go. I promise, I won’t hurt her.”
Finally, he heard them run off, the sound of their feet fading down a corridor as they rushed to find Hakudoshi. There was a chance. Before, her fidgeting, that was Kagome trying to regain control. It had to be. Hakudoshi had almost struck her cousin, of course she was going to object powerfully. Inuyasha could reach her, he was confident of which. It was going to be tricky, but it was possible. She was conscious in there.
“So, it’s lover versus lover, is it?”
“Kagome.“
“You realize you’re part demon, right?”
“Baby, I know you’re giving it your all right now, but you’ve gotta put in a little more effort.”
“All I have to do is flip that switch in her brain to use her conjurer abilities.”
“Push him out, kid.”
“It won’t even take a lot. You’re only half demon, so with the power coming from her, I’d say ten percent would be enough to do you in. Twelve percent to be safe. Six percent if I want you to suffer.”
“Come on, kid. Fight.” Inuyasha pushed.
“Oh, give it a rest.” The grumble in her voice was deep, another octave she rarely used. “All you’re doing is agitating her; you’re not helping her any. What is this? You think some motivational speech is all you’re gonna need to save her life? Or, is it your own life that you’re more worried about?”
Inuyasha could barely fight his glower. It felt off giving it to Kagome, but it wasn’t Kagome it was intended for. It was Naraku’s minion. Hakudoshi was lucky it wasn’t he going after him, because Inuyasha would make his death agonizing. As if he didn’t already hate Kagome being touched as it was, she was now being held captive from the inside. He wanted Hakudoshi to beg for forgiveness before he ended his meager existence.
At the exact same time that Koga had sensed something was off, Kirara gave a low growl of warning, reinforcing the wolf demon’s decision to stop immediately. The further they’d gone down the corridors, the darker it had become, and the drip of water echoed loudly in a cavern up ahead. Quickly assessing it, Koga could tell there were no living beings anywhere near, but that somewhere in the cave was another dangerous demon. It was either Hakudoshi’s body or the fucker wasn’t lying earlier.
“There may actually be someone else here. With him.” Koga mentioned to the others.
“Are we near them?” Sango asked.
“No. I can’t tell where they are, but the further we get from Kagome and Inuyasha, the more clear their energy is becoming.”
All he smelled was Naraku, though. Which meant, no matter what, they were going up against an underling. Considering he was traveling with two humans, Koga almost wished they were facing an off-brand demon. These were like mini bosses before the big boss, and Koga just wasn’t sure how skilled these humans were with the weapons belted to their sides. Would they pull through and be actual assets to him, or was he about to have to keep their lives in tact while facing a direct descendant of Naraku, himself?
“Stay close. Follow orders. You go against anything I say, I’m knocking you out myself so I don’t have to deal with saving your sorry asses. Got it?”
“Who died and made you king?” Miroku grimaced.
“The previous leader of my clan.” Koga snorted.
Miroku and Sango exchanged a bemused look before shifting back to Koga.
“I’m the leader of the wolf demon pack. That may mean nothing to you, but let it mean something here. I know how to look out for people, I know how to make quick decisions in the heat of battle, and I know how to make the best calls. We’re all fighting for the same thing, right? So keep up and don’t hold me back.”
“How about, you don’t hold us back.” Sango countered, slanting her eyes brazenly. “There. You wanted a challenge, right? You wanted to make sure we weren’t submissive and weak? Well, go ahead. Lead the way, King Wolf Demon. We’ve got your back.”
“How far ahead do you think they are?” Miroku inquired, gazing into the dark shadows in front of him.
“Not sure.” Koga replied, impressed by the boldness of the woman. She was gutsy, he could grasp that much. “It helps that Hakudoshi’s presence isn’t hanging over us anymore. Now that it’s centered, whomever’s with him is standing out.”
“You can’t follow their scent?”
“I only smell Naraku, but it’s all over the place. It’s like they’ve touched every fucking wall in this maze to throw us off.”
“They probably have.” Sango agreed. “It would be a good reason to back up Hakudoshi’s arrogance regarding our difficulty finding him.”
“So, we go forward, right?” Miroku asked.
“Only way to figure out where the scent gets stronger. Be on your guard.”
Kagome was protesting as hard as she could, wrestling, yelling, trying to break the lock on her cage. Hakudoshi was reaching back to equip another arrow, and he was moving agonizingly slowly. His way of taunting both she and Inuyasha with the threat.
“Stop it!” She demanded. “I won’t let you hurt him!”
But, she went ignored. Time and time again, she went ignored. What did she have to do? What had she done earlier to make Hakudoshi’s control falter when he’d shot at Miroku? She was frantic and scared, and she was resisting. She was resisting, and that resistance was like the spark of a flame in the kindling. While she pulled back, there was a thump in her core that pushed forward, but what was it? How did she fan the spark to grow into flames? How did she do it again?
“What would you do if I spoke to you entirely like I was Kagome from this point forward?” Hakudoshi asked, aiming an arrow at Inuyasha.
The hanyou didn’t answer. The bastard would have him dead in a second if he didn’t think up a plan, and he needed to be quick. He’d need to dodge and then he’d need to disarm him. That was the best course of action. Pinning her down would be second. He had to believe that the rest of the group would pull through, would kill the brat and free Kagome. Until then, he was going to have to do everything he could to survive, which may very well be as difficult as facing Kagome in the flesh. He knew what she could do, and this child was inside of her putting her skills to the test. Against him. If he really could utilize her conjurer powers, Inuyasha would have to be incredibly careful. It was ironic to think about, a demon using conjurer powers, but wasn’t something he was willing to underestimate. Technically, he was just possessing her, not completely encapsulating her body as it was easy to assume. Which meant, Hakudoshi probably wasn’t all talk.
“Her mannerisms are right here.” He pointed to her head, nearly nicking her flesh with the arrowhead. “Oh, whoops.” He flinched too casually, cringing at his mistake.
Inuyasha had had to tense rigidly to avoid reacting. He couldn’t feed into Hakudoshi’s bullshit. It would egg him on. It could potentially cause him to actually hurt Kagome, and Inuyasha refused to allow that.
“So, anyway, what’s your plan? You really gonna fight Kagome? Or are you gonna take every hit she throws at you?” When Inuyasha neglected to answer, she shrugged her brows. “Silent treatment, huh? I bet you wouldn’t ignore your girlfriend.”
Her expression softened, brown eyes shimmering as they always had as a very soft curve appeared on her lips. When she spoke then, it was in her natural tone, and it struck Inuyasha directly in the heart. “I understand if you can’t fight me. This is scaring me, too. But, can you do me a favor?”
It took everything in him not to respond, but he’d failed to keep all of his reflexes at bay. His amber eyes flickered away and his frown deepened momentarily before he forced himself to look back at her. Whatever existed of Kagome’s smile had shifted as she now worried her bottom lip between her teeth, and her gaze had fallen to the rocky floor beneath their boots.
“Inuyasha, I really don’t want to hurt you.” She tremblingly admitted. “Kill me before I do. I can’t stop him. I’m trying so hard, but I can’t stop him. So, you have to stop me.”
“No!” He growled. “Stop it! Hakudoshi, stop it!”
“Baby, please.”
His stomach clenched painfully.
“Why can’t I break free? What do I do?”
“God fucking dammit, stop it!” Inuyasha slammed the heels of his palms into his temples.
Kagome began to walk closer, and the hanyou had to remind himself to take a step back. The aura coming off of her, the threat, it wasn’t hers and it was to be heeded. This wasn’t his girl he was up against; he couldn’t be fooled so easily. But, each step away from her was physically painful. He was supposed to be protecting her, but he was refusing her quivering form.
“Why won’t you let me near?”
“Knock it off already!”
“You have to promise me that you wont let me hurt you.” She whispered.
“Hakudoshi!” He back stepped again.
With a small groan, the demon relented. “Fine. This will be more fun, anyway.” He said, making Kagome grin as she lunged to attack Inuyasha.
Swiftly, he grabbed her wrists to protect himself, flinching back when she’d almost cut his face with the arrow. Getting her to drop the bow was easy, but her grip on the sharper object was white-knuckled and fierce. Already, he knew his hold on her was too strong, but he couldn’t let go just yet. He could feel the danger levels spiking, which made him believe Hakudoshi was legitimately using her conjurer powers. If he didn’t make her drop it soon, if Hakudoshi cut him, he could be severely hurt, and then what? Lose Kagome? Allow his death to sit on her shoulders? Neither were going to happen.
“Kid, keep fighting for me, okay?” He said directly to Kagome, thrusting her back against the cavern wall to smack her hand against the uneven rock. Finally, her grasp relented and the arrow slipped from her fingers.
“Remember when Naraku was holding me over the cliff?” Hakudoshi continued his charade, speaking as if he were Kagome again. “Just before I was thrown over, I wanted to tell you that I loved you. I didn’t want to die without you knowing.”
“Stop it!”
“And, I know you know now, but I feel like I should remind you.”
No, no, no. He couldn’t hear that. Hakudoshi or not, he didn’t want that tainted in this moment. They said those words so rarely, spoke their feelings through actions and other versions of affectionate discourse, but whenever that phrase did come out, he didn’t want it to throw him right back into this incident. He wouldn’t have it taken away from them. He was frenetic to shut Hakudoshi up.
He’d acted without thinking. It was a natural impulse, and before Inuyasha knew it, his knee was being thrusted up into Kagome’s diaphragm. She doubled over with a violent cough, her breath coming raggedly, unevenly, struggling at first until Hakudoshi started laughing with saliva dribbling over her lower lip.
Inuyasha had backed away in unrestrained regret, holding his hands out at his sides as if they’d abused their privileges. How could he? He’d hurt her.
“Holy crap, dude.” Hakudoshi guffawed, and Kagome’s voice both caressed and defiled his ears. He wished the possession changed her tone to the child’s. It was painful to hear her be talked through, no matter how out of character it’d been or not. “You really kneed her. That wasn’t even a warning tap either, that was a full on hit!”
“Fuck, baby! Fuck! I’m so sorry!”
“What kind of abusive boyfriend are you?” He asked, standing straight.
“Oh, fuck off!” Inuyasha ground out, setting his jaw irately. “You can’t get under my skin with that shit.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Hakudoshi bobbed her head. “Only, ‘I love you’ will do the trick.” She grinned tauntingly, picking up her foot to pull out the knife in her boot.
Kagome slowed down a moment. Too long, she’d been fighting the restraints of her bars and it was getting her no results. She needed to take a minute to analyze the situation, no matter how difficult it was to do right now. It was easier to let her nerves get the better of her, to keep fighting and struggling, but it was fruitless and Inuyasha needed her to come back to him.
She looked closer at the lock keeping her closed inside the cage. So many times, she’d kicked it with everything she had, applied her entire bodyweight into it, and the only thing she’d achieved in doing so was creating loud clanks to echo in the darkness she currently resided in. The lock didn’t look to have received any damage whatsoever. That was impossible. It should have at least sported a dent, or a nick. Something. This was getting her nowhere. Why?
Because, she wasn’t shut in by a key. Of course. She was confined by demonic energy. She’d been so heavily consumed by Hakudoshi’s that she hadn’t even been able to feel the power engulfing the thick, black padlock. That being said, she still wasn’t sure how the hell she was going to get out of there. Yet again, she was held back by her inability to transmit spiritual power into her hands.
That wasn’t going to work for her right now. Kagome had no other options. She couldn’t wait for an alternative to appear, because nothing ever would. She was going to bust out one way or the other, and this was how. Hakudoshi had no right to threaten Inuyasha with the power that was hers. It was hers. And, she was going to use it exactly as she willed.
Koga’s heart was beating hard, his lungs were pounding. It felt like they’d been traveling through the cave for way too long and only ended up turned around, but before he’d even sensed it, Kirara caught onto something to their right. She led the way, her hackles raising, her growl growing more violent when they finally found the right path. Koga felt it, too. Up ahead was a threat waiting for them. Literally waiting.
“For a while there, I honestly thought you’d never find us.” A woman spoke, her arms crossed over her center. “The child’s been out for half an hour now? Forty-five minutes? Were you guys walking or something?”
For a quick moment, Koga took in the sight before them. They were in another opening, one just a smidge more narrow than the other they’d left Inuyasha and Kagome in. Water had leaked in through the cave ceiling, coating the ground in puddles all around, the drip loud to his ears. The woman in front of them, she was tall. More interesting, she looked to be about as done with anyone’s shit before anything had even happened. It was like the expression of annoyance was forever etched into her skin, her eyes naturally slanted in that manner. Her hair was brown, medium-length, worn half up in a twisted bun that a white feather decoratively stuck out of. Red painted her lips, nearly matching her bold irises, and along her body, she wore a plain, black dress that dipped down low in the center of her chest.
On the floor at her side, a young child slumped in his seat. His hair was white, long, untamed. He was unconscious and still he managed to give Koga the creeps. Nothing more needed to be studied about him. That was Hakudoshi.
“Kagura?” He asked, just to be sure.
“Don’t try to be my friend just because you know Sesshomaru.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m still under orders to kill you and protect this freak.”
“Because of Rin?”
“Because of Naraku.”
“Because he has Rin?”
She sighed out heatedly, shaking her head in irritation again. “You clearly already know the answer to that, so why are you asking?”
“Don’t you think it’d be easier to save her if we knew where Naraku was?” Koga tried, carefully stepping forward with a subtle hand gesture for Sango and Miroku to hang back. “Give me something that I can pass on to Sesshomaru. Better yet, come with us. We -“
“Stop.” She ordered abruptly, and it was said in a tone that brought Koga to listen. Very slowly, very steadily, she shifted her head from left to right, her scarlet eyes never parting from his azure. It was her way of conveying something she couldn’t say out loud, but whether he understood was up to him. Hakudoshi wasn’t completely unconscious; he could still hear everything. The last thing she wanted was him bringing anything back to Naraku, and that fucking rat would. “Back up.”
“I don’t want to fight you.” Koga admitted, following her gaze as she glanced over to the child’s limp form, then back up. What was she telling him?
“Then, this’ll be easy.” She said. This guy had to be as daft as they came. There was only one way to make this painfully obvious, so careful of the ruffle of her clothing, she grabbed her ear and once more looked at Hakudoshi. That seemed to do the trick. Koga stiffened slightly, nodding in comprehension.
“Kagura, what am I supposed to tell Sesshomaru?”
“Nothing.” She frowned. “You aren’t leaving here today. So, I suggest you fight, or you’ll die in shame.”
As Hakudoshi lunged at Inuyasha, Inuyasha had to be quick to grab Kagome’s wrist again. He couldn’t afford to be conscientious or apologetic right now. He had to disarm her and pin her down. Swiftly, he stepped a leg behind her ankle, shoving her back to throw off her balance, and dropped down to the floor with her. He tried smashing her hand against the ground to make her fingers release their grip on the blade, but they actively refused. She held onto the knife for dear life, and Inuyasha had to shove the worry that his clutch was bruising her to the back of his mind.
“The first time we made love -“
“No! Shut up!” Inuyasha demanded, silencing her sweet voice. “Get out of her head!”
“Make me.” She rumbled seductively, the switch in her timbre nearly giving him whiplash. “Of course, that brings us to the third time we made love.”
“Fuck you.” He growled, pinning her still as she tried to buck him off. “Those are intimate moments between she and I.”
“Not anymore.”
Inuyasha thrusted her hand along the ground again, fighting against her incessant battle to stab him, but still she clung to the dagger with a grasp that would not yield. He was just going to have to pry it away from her, then.
It was difficult, but his main focus had to be her dominant arm. He couldn’t let go of it whatsoever, so he had to figure out a way to use his hand that restrained her left. Dragging it down, despite her opposing struggle, Inuyasha managed to capture it beneath his knee, freeing his own hand to force her fingers to release the knife. She’d given a jolt and the sharp blade clipped his palm, making the hanyou hasty to retract back.
“Man, I really messed that up, didn’t I?” Kagome giggled. “I’ll admit, it’s hard to multitask. This lady’s got it down to an art.”
There was no conjurer power that backed up her attack, and Inuyasha got fucking lucky. His hand was seeping blood now, but he didn’t have time to even think about it. It was actually working in his favor. The more blood that got on her hand from his prying, the more slippery her grip became. Finally, Inuyasha stole the dagger away, dropping it to the side of his leg as he quickly rolled her over to her stomach.
God, he’d forgotten how fast she could be. Immediately, Kagome was pushing up against him, and he’d barely been able to really define his dominance. He had to apply his knee to her back to shove her back down while he expeditiously scooped the arrows from her quiver and threw them out of reach.
“You fucking jackass!” Hakudoshi protested on a wheezy breath.
Inuyasha removed his knee, realizing his bodyweight was hindering her breathing, and everything else was by pure instinct. He’d jerked one hand behind her back, hiking it up so she had limited use of her shoulder, and took a solid grip in her hair. Maybe he’d gotten too lost in the moment, too aggressive. He could feel how forcefully he was pinning her down, feel her cheek scrape against the rock, but it wasn’t until she cried out that he slackened.
“Ow. Inuyasha, you’re hurting me.” Kagome moaned.
“Shit!” It was reflex, his reaction to let her go. But, he shouldn’t have been so precipitous. He hadn’t realized her free hand had reached for the blade he’d thoughtlessly dropped so close. Kagome rolled over nimbly, and Inuyasha hardly had time to react. She swung the dagger at him, and he was incredibly fucking grateful it was in her non-dominant hand, because it was held at an angle that gave him the advantage to jump away without harm in the nick of time.
“Wow, you really are weak for her.” Hakudoshi commented, rising to Kagome’s knees. “If you don’t wisen up, those emotions will be the very thing that kill you.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Inuyasha responded, wiping the blood from his hand on his pant leg, a vain effort as he felt more warm liquid cover over the burning wound. He had to ignore the angry spot on her cheek he’d caused, one that went right over the small scrape she’d received the day before, making it larger, darker.
“You know, maybe I’m going about this all wrong. Maybe I’m attacking the wrong person.” Kagome smiled mischievously.
Immediately, Inuyasha knew where Hakudoshi’s thought process was headed and he stiffened.
Steadily, Kagome lowered the knife to her thigh, scratching the blade against the texture of her pants. “What if I -“
He’d moved promptly, he had no choice. He went to pin her down again, to steal the dagger from her grasp once more. He was going to throw it so far away that it’d be lost in the shadows and worthless to find in the depths of a struggle. But, Hakudoshi got the better of him that time. Inuyasha hadn’t established proper form, and Kagome bucked her hips upward, tumbling his balance and rolling him over.
Good fucking god, she was strong. He was hanyou, he had formidable strength, and yes, the fear of hurting her was drastically holding him back from doing anything too impetuous, but he was now in a pressing conflict. The knife was inches from his throat, and she was pushing all of her weight down into him. Inuyasha was lucky he was quick enough to stop it in time from stabbing him through, and now he was fighting to keep her lifted so she didn’t succeed.
“Kagome, baby!” He called warily. “I could really use your help right about now!”
“Kagome says to suck a dick.” Hakudoshi grinned.
“Kagome!” His options were limited. Rolling her off of him was a feeble choice if she still had the fucking knife, though it gave him an opportunity to pick himself up and create space. There was the potential that she’d be faster in that sort of predicament, and that obviously needed to be taken into consideration. He desperately needed to disarm her and he needed to act quickly, because she was bouncing her weight down on the dagger now in an attempt to wear out his muscles.
His best option was to take her by surprise. He needed a split second, that was all. He had no choice, and he would make up for it in whatever way that he could later. For now, Inuyasha fixed his grip on her hands holding the knife with one palm, trusting the strength in his arm, and with the one he now freed, he slapped Kagome in the face with what was absolutely too much vigor. But, it worked. Hakudoshi was discombobulated for an extremely brief moment, a gasp leaving her lips, eyes wide from the jolt of it, and Inuyasha utilized the time to push Kagome back and rip the knife from her fucking hands, throwing it in a direction unknown even to him.
Hakudoshi began thrashing against Inuyasha. He hit him back, he scratched, he laughed wickedly, and it was difficult for the hanyou to take hold of Kagome’s wrists again with how wild Hakudoshi made her flail. Inuyasha was trying. He was sorely trying to get her under control, only really failing to block one good hit from her, and when he’d thought he had a forearm in his grasp, Kagome sprung off of him, ripping herself free to run toward something.
He rolled himself over and pushed himself up, his body going insurmountably tense in response to what he was facing that his gasp was silent and nothing more than a hitch in his chest. Hakudoshi had snagged an arrow and her bow, and was inching it up to aim at him. Kagome’s smile was one of victory, her bottom lip stained with blood he’d caused her to bleed.
She was furious. She was screaming. She was desperate and frantic. This was her body, and Kagome had no control over it. This was her mind, and it wasn’t listening to a thing she was saying. What caused her stomach to ache painfully was that she could feel Hakudoshi pulling her spiritual power, rounding it up, saturating an arrow as he aimed it at Inuyasha. Hakudoshi had the upper hand, she could practically see it, and her panic was beginning to overwhelm every inch of her.
“Inuyasha, run!” Kagome cried, but unsurprisingly, she went unheard. Until Hakudoshi had the audacity to tease by repeating it. His tone held no inflection. It was said casually, carelessly.
“Inuyasha, run.”
“Please! Run!”
“Please. Run.”
“No.” He replied gruffly, and Kagome froze, realizing he was replying to her. “I won’t leave without you.”
Hakudoshi inched her arrow back to create a tauter string, and she could feel that he was about to release it. No. No!
Feeling helpless, Kagome shook the bars of her cage again, frenzied enough to try anything to save him. She was hot all over, her heart was pounding erratically, her mind was racing a mile a minute.
“Stop!” She screamed. “Stop it!”
This wasn’t supposed to be happening. This was her body, dammit. This was her mind, this was her heart, this was her ability. Why wouldn’t her powers work for her? Why would they never work this way? She’d been trying to burst the lock, and nothing. Failure was not an option right now, she needed to recondition her strength.
Protect yourself for me, my little bird. Keep it in its cage.
Her father. His words. It rang so relevant right now that it hurt. She was nothing but a little bird trapped in a cage, but it was the most unsafe she’d ever felt. Her papa thought it’d be her salvation, to hide away, but this was irony at its worst. The fact of the matter was, her powers weren’t what put her in danger. It was the people around her. The people against her. Locking her gifts up to defend herself had been the counterintuitive option all along.
“They’re mine, Hakudoshi! Stop!” He was about to shoot and Kagome was terrified, shouting so loud that her voice broke. “They’re my powers! You can’t use them!” She rattled her cage defiantly, feeling a pull in her abdomen that helped her push against her restraints. “They’re mine! Not Midoriko’s, not Kikyo’s, not yours, they’re mine!” Hakudoshi released his shot. “Get out!”
Inuyasha grunted, the sharp strike of her arrowhead piercing the right side of his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a few feet until he hit the wall. There was nothing in her arrow. He was dealt nothing more than a painful blow through his flesh. Still, he found himself holding his breath anxiously. Her powers would have taken effect by now, right? The tail of the weapon stuck out in front of him, and he watched it to see if it would disintegrate. When nothing happened for thirty seconds, Inuyasha nearly slumped in relief.
There it was, she could feel it. Hakudoshi’s hold on her was destabilizing. Warmth radiated from her being, and Kagome urged it to grow. He was trying to reattain his control, like hands slipping over an oil-slicked rope, but she couldn’t allow that. The fire charred the kindling in her core and raged violently within her. It hurt, but she didn’t care. She let it expand through her veins, through her flesh, through her fingertips.
“Get out!” She repeated vehemently, doubling over as she vividly visualized the demon expelling from her soul. “GET OUT OF ME!”
Inuyasha watched Kagome’s frame fold, falling to her hands and knees as unrestrained grunts and groans left her mouth. Her fingers raked against the rock beneath her, and letting go of a cry, she stumbled down to her forearms with a wild tremor that racked her entire body.
“Kid?” He spoke through heavy breaths from his lungs.
“Get -“ She was fighting. She was pushing so hard, and he felt a manic energy soaring from her that greatly intimidated him. Kagome was giving more than what she had to free herself that her voice came out low and throaty, like she was forcing her words out while her body was battling intensely that it was nearly impossible to use her vocal cords. “Get out!”
It was her. Inuyasha’s stomach twisted achingly, desperately needing to support her, to be next to her. “Kagome!”
He ripped the arrow from his chest, clenching his throat to swallow the pained moan. It was unimportant in retrospect. Fuck his discomfort, he had more critical things to worry about right now. Inuyasha pushed himself from the cavern wall, sprinting over to Kagome’s crumpled body and skidding to his knees.
“Don’t touch me!” She screamed at him, and the hanyou went rigid. His hands hovered just inches above her back, twitching as he struggled with himself to listen to her.
“Kagome, it’s me!”
“It’ll hurt you! My power! It’ll - It’ll hurt you!” She claimed through choked exhales.
It was emanating from her. That’s what he was feeling. He may not be able to see it, but she was shrouded in her conjurer strength, seemingly able to do what she’d never been able to before as she fought back against Hakudoshi.
“He won’t -“ Kagome released a wrenching sob, trying to pick herself up to her hands but collapsing back down. “He won’t let me go. He’s still here.”
“Keep going, baby!” Inuyasha encouraged, dropping his palms to the earth while staying as close as allowed. “Fight him! You can do this!”
“Get out!”
“You can do this!”
Kagome whimpered through the engulfing and searing heat of the flames, taking as deep a breath as she could muster in an effort to fan the fire and keep it growing. Blinking open her eyes, she could see how vibrant the lavender of her power was, appearing like a legitimate blaze from her skin. At this point, Hakudoshi’s presence was barely lingering. She needed to be diligent to make sure there wasn’t an ounce of him left in her soul. If she wasn’t thorough in getting all of him out, he could potentially seep back in to take rein of her again.
Never. She wouldn’t allow it. She was going to make him regret ever taking her hostage, she was going to make him regret ever using her against her people.
“Let me go!” She demanded, slamming her fist against the ground.
“Good, Kagome! Fight him! You’ve got this!” Inuyasha shouted.
He was in her heart. He was clinging to the small fleck of darkness that’d been created from the times she’d endured, his grimy hands slipping but catching, slipping and catching again. Kagome tensed her breath then, concentrating her strength there as it torched and incinerated whatever presence he left within her. It was overkill, but it was necessary. She felt like she’d inhaled smoke, coughing and sputtering when she finally breathed again, but that was it. She was freed.
Hakudoshi was gone.
Inuyasha felt her powers calm, but didn’t reach for her just yet. Gradually, the stiffness in her muscles noticeably decreased. Kagome was gasping in air, her back excessively rising and falling with how her lungs pumped, but progressively, her body was relaxing.
“Kagome?” He whispered.
She couldn’t help the chuckle of relief that left her mouth, or the way her arms refused to work with her, failing to even try and pick herself up. Her head went from the balance on her forearm to the hard surface of the ground as her rear sank back to rest against her legs. It didn’t matter that her head scraped along, nothing mattered in that moment. She was too fatigued to care, or feel pain, or worry about anything more.
Extremely sluggishly, Kagome reached out with one hand, blindly feeling around for Inuyasha. He was still there, she could sense him, but words weren’t coming to her right now. All she wanted was his touch. She wanted to feel his warmth, his callouses. With her opposite hand, the side she’d yet to try, the side she’d assumed he had to be closer to, Kagome turned it over, sliding it out in the hopes that he would know what she wanted.
Inuyasha swallowed thickly, hoping he was reading her right. She was searching for him, wasn’t she? With her hand opened for him, he slid his fingers within, feeling the sweat that coated it and sighing out so deeply the moment her fingers curled to hold him there.
“Is it you?” He asked, unable to control himself any longer as he scooted closer. “Are you back?”
Kagome hummed, nodding lazily.
Inuyasha made haste to pick her up. He released her hand, grabbing around her shoulders to pull her to a sit so that she wouldn’t have to push with her defeated muscles. Her dark hair was everywhere, but she managed to sweep her arm over to fix the tresses out of her face, a small smile curving her plush and blood-stained lips. But, her eyes. Though lidded, they glimmered with tears and the earthy tones pulled him right back home.
“You did it.” He chuckled proudly, sweeping hair behind her ears as he admired her for all that she deserved. “You did it, baby.”
His fingers trembled as much as she, the ice was finally leaving his bloodstream, and Inuyasha cradled her jaw when Kagome finally got a good grasp on supporting herself. As tears fell to streak her cheeks, he gently swiped his thumbs to clean each one, careful of any sensitive marks that marred her face.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Kagome leaned into his attention, uncaring of how she felt or looked while she couldn’t take her eyes from the wound in his chest. Though his shirt was black, she could still see the blood causing the cloth to stick to his skin, seeping through in a thick coating. Her fingers shakily reached for the injury she’d inflicted, stopped by his quicker hand when he grabbed her wrist and brought her knuckles up to kiss.
“I’m sorry.” She cried.
“Don’t be. You saved my ass, kid.”
“No, I -“
“You didn’t hurt me. I promise. This wasn’t you, baby, remember that.”
Feeling like she needed him or else she’d be unstable and incomplete, Kagome urgently grabbed his shirt and pulled for him, nearly losing her meager balance in the process. Inuyasha wasn’t hesitant in the least to comply. He moved closer at the same time he gathered her forward, hugging her tight while breathing her in.
“Are you okay, kid? You okay?” He rushed to ask, taking her jaw again to tilt her head to the side and analyze the blemishing of her face.
“I’m fine.” She replied.
Inuyasha swiped his thumb over her bottom lip and froze when she winced. Reflexively, Kagome sucked in her lip, finally tasting the copper as her tongue traced over the cut that bled. It must have collided against her teeth when he’d hit her. She could hear everything, she was aware of the general happenings of the fight going on, but given it wasn’t a direct reality for her, it was weird coming back to deal with the repercussions of it.
“Oh, that was a good one.” She commented, and Inuyasha immediately released her, a look of panic striking his expression. He’d almost backed away fearfully before Kagome reached for him, and she steadily pulled his hands back toward her. “No, it’s okay! Inuyasha,” She hovered one of his hands by her cheek before she nuzzled into it. “It’s okay. I promise.”
“I hurt you.” He breathed contritely.
“You didn’t do it on purpose. You were defending yourself. I’d have a problem with you if you hadn’t.” Kagome brought the other back to hold her as he had been.
Inuyasha curled into her, tilting her face again as he softly brushed a kiss to her scraped cheek. The tremble in her fingers was increasing, the shock of the situation really settling in. They rested on his forearms, her hold barely there anymore. She had to be fucking exhausted. It had to be so hard just sitting up right now. Her eyes were sunken and hooded, her smile was present but listless, her skin was pale and clammy, yet she still pushed through it all instead of collapsing and saving affection for later.
With a kiss to her forehead, he decided it was best to gather everything up. The battle wasn’t over. As much as he wanted to get her out of there, he needed to help the others, and Kagome was undoubtedly safer with him at this point.
Making sure she could support herself, he stood to find the knife he’d tossed. Thankfully, her scent was good guidance, and he was able to locate it hidden in the shadows in the distance. He fixed that in his belt before he picked up her arrows, unsurprised when he heard that grumble come from her as her stomach clenched in pain. Inuyasha made his way back calmly, smoothly, setting everything down beside him so that he could pull her hair out of the way. His hand was gentle as it stroked her back, soothing her heaves while she vomited.
“You’re okay.” He kissed her shoulder. “You’re okay, babe. You did such a good job. I’m so proud of you.”
Kagome coughed, a shuddering whimper following her discomfort, but Inuyasha continued to console her the best that he could. This was to be expected. She’d busted her ass saving them both and presented a level of power neither of them had yet to see. He’d take care of her tonight. He’d watch her carefully, he’d tend to everything she needed. Thankfully, Kaede had given them some of her medicine that helped Kagome the first time around, so she’d at least be able to sleep through the evening and fight the fever with a little help.
He helped her crawl away from the mess, whispering that he’d be right back when he walked in the direction of their kicked-aside bag, grabbing Tessaiga not too far off along the way. He pulled out the canteen of water and opened it up, ambling back and handing it over for her to sip on.
“Where is everyone? Can you smell them?” Kagome asked as she handed the bottle back over to him.
“Yeah.” He gave a small nod, replacing the lid before reaching for her arrows to drop back in the quiver over her shoulder. Her bow was within reach, so he stretched from his spot, dragging it their way. “They’re somewhere deep, but I’ll be able to find them.”
“We’ll return for the bag later.” He said, helping her to her knees so she’d be able to rise easier. Turning around, the hanyou readied himself for her to climb on his back, keeping a grasp on her hand to help leverage her up before he scooped up her rear to support her.
Thankfully, he not only had multiple scents to guide his way, but just a mile in, he could catch the sounds of fighting, of yelling. The cat demon’s roar was distinct and echoed, and Inuyasha picked up his pace.
As he got closer, he scouted out a spot to tuck Kagome in. She was already growing feverish; he could feel it through his clothing. Her part was over, she’d done more than enough. Now, he needed to protect her.
“Stay here, okay?” He whispered as she settled into her little nook. Her body was tired, and she leaned against the rocks for support.
“I want to come with you.” She said, but everything else about her communicated otherwise.
“No,” He shook his head, smiling softly while pushing her bangs from her eyes. “We’ve got it from here, kid. I’ll come back for you. I promise.”
Inuyasha leaned forward and brushed a kiss to her forehead, feeling how she subtly relaxed. “Tell me you’ll stay here. Nod.”
Kagome gave a listless nod, her face expressionless as she fully sank back now.
“Good girl.” He cooed. “I’ll be right back.”
It looked like he hadn’t taken the exact turn everyone else had. The tunnel he inhabited inclined and he came out on a ledge overlooking the scene below. There was a wind picking up in the cavern, one that only bewildered Inuyasha for a second before he pieced together who the woman facing off with Koga and Sango was. Kagura could control the wind, keeping their advances at bay while assaulting them with sharp thrusts of rocks shooting mercilessly through the air. Miroku and Kirara faced a child, a malicious grin on the little one’s face as he whipped his white hair over his shoulder.
Hakudoshi.
Taking out his sword, Inuyasha jumped from his ledge, slicing through the current Kagura flared with a wind scar that carved a passage. The moment his feet were on the ground, he raised Tessaiga over his head and slammed it down, watching Miroku get shoved out of the way by the feral cat demon as his attack went straight for the evil child. A barrier protected Hakudoshi, forcing his second wind scar to trail right over him in a circular motion before dying off as it hit the far wall.
“Long time no see, half breed.” The boy sneered.
“Inuyasha!” Miroku called. “Kagome, where -“
“She’s fine. She’s safe.” He quickly replied, amber eyes never parting from the purple ones belonging to the demon child.
“Eh,” Hakudoshi’s top lip curled cynically. “You tend to use those words lightly, don’t you.”
“Fuck you.” Inuyasha spit.
“You did quite the number on her.”
The hanyou nearly dropped his sword in his vehemence, marching forward. He could see the arrogant twitch of Hakudoshi’s mouth, thinking he had the upper hand with his barrier, but with a tightening of Inuyasha’s grip, the fang of his sword grew red and he stabbed it through. The wall around the child disappeared, and it was pleasant to watch his expression dwindle instantly. His small legs hurried to back up as he tried to rebuild another barrier, but Inuyasha went and broke that one two, reaching forward to strike his face.
“Not so tough now, are you?” Inuyasha grabbed the demon by his neck, lifting him up, ignoring the way Hakudoshi clawed at his wrist and hand to be set free.
“Kagome blames you for not saving her when she was thrown from the cliff.” Hakudoshi claimed through his clenched throat, choking but still speaking tauntingly with whatever willpower he had. “She saw you trying to grab your sword, but couldn’t understand why you weren’t able to get it because it was right there. She thinks you should have been stronger. Stronger like Koga. Like your brother.”
“No, she doesn’t.” He evenly refuted.
She’d lied. She’d never intended to stay behind and wait. Kagome just knew it was the only way to keep Inuyasha from worrying. She would be upset with herself if she didn’t do everything she could to help, and there was still some fight left in her.
At first, she’d tried climbing to her feet, but her legs shook and gave out from beneath her. Twice, she’d tried to stand, but it was no use. Not even with the wall as support was she able to walk up the incline. Just trying to pick herself up was exhausting, her stomach wringing painfully, and she’d had to pause to pass some bile. Trembling horribly, Kagome wiped her mouth clean, continuing forward on her hands and knees.
It was a strenuous path uphill, but Kagome pushed herself as hard as she could, swallowing thickly to fight through her body’s resistance. She could hear the action, she could hear Hakudoshi spewing nonsense to try and hurt Inuyasha again, and she could practically feel just how livid Inuyasha was as he faced him. She wanted to see to his end. She didn’t want to risk him getting away. If anyone needed to be disposed of in Naraku’s army, it was him. He was the termite, the demon who destroyed you from the inside out, and he was going to choke on his arrogance today.
“Kagome thinks you could have done more to save your mother.”
“You’ve lost your spark since you can’t speak through her anymore.” Inuyasha firmed his hold on Hakudoshi’s throat.
He wheezed, his voice breaking, but still he continued. “You were fourteen, you weren’t helpless. Just inexperienced and stupid. That’s no excuse. You could have helped her.”
The hanyou turned around, walking back the way he came.
“Kagome believes she would have survived if only you were full demon. Your mother would have been better off.”
“Kirara,” He called, holding the child a little higher. “Hungry?”
Tossing Hakudoshi, the saber-toothed cat leapt forward and caught him in her mouth, biting down and vigorously shaking her head from side-to-side. His screams echoed as he was mauled alive, ripped apart in Kirara’s teeth.
Kagome perched on the edge of the ledge on her knees, aiming an arrow in her bow downward. It was almost too much effort to pull the string taut, the muscles in her arms quivering horribly, but she powered through. Supplying a lethal dosage of her power into her weapon, she locked on the best she could.
“Kirara, drop him!” She ordered, and the cat was obedient to the ring of her voice. Spitting the maimed demon out, she backed away and Kagome released her shot, killing off the wicked underling of Naraku.
She’d had to catch herself before falling forward, her balance off kilter, her body weak, her stomach objecting, but she swallowed the bile the best that she could. She had everyone’s attention now and there was still one demon left.
“Kagura!” Kagome stressed demandingly. “Go! If you want to protect Rin, then go! Now! Otherwise, we’ll have to kill you, too.”
“You aren’t even going to try to ask questions?” The woman asked through a tense jaw and uneven breaths. “You’re just going to let me go? Just like that? That doesn’t seem like the wisest thing to do.”
Aggravated, Kagome pulled an arrow from her quiver in a means to challenge her attitude, aiming it in her bow. It worked. She was stopped promptly by Kagura’s quick reaction to raise her arms in way of yield.
“Alright, alright.” She murmured. Her scarlet eyes looked the countering woman over, how she was fighting just to stay up. She was dangerous. She was a force to be reckoned with, and she could tell that with nothing but a glance. Kagura was there when Hakudoshi came to, and he hadn’t been touched with her around defending him. Which meant, Kagome had pushed him out. No one had ever succeeded at doing that before. Hakudoshi was violent and sadistic. He’d make a home out of your body and then kill you while he was in it. But, when he regained consciousness here, he was pissed. Which meant, he lost. He didn’t get up as easily, either. He seemed out of breath, he carried himself as if he’d been wounded, as if his strength had been compromised, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been sent back not only with a damaged ego, but damage to his being, as well. “I hope you win, conjurer.” Kagura said before backing out, leaving the cavern.
With a breath of finality, Kagome let her hands fall to the ground beneath her, supporting her body the best she could. Spotting her cousin gazing at her with pressing concern, she gave a feeble wave, a smile containing minimal effort accompanying it as she gave a thumbs up. Miroku chuckled exasperatedly, rubbing his forehead in agitation before running his fingers through his hair.
“You said you’d stay.” Inuyasha said as soon as Kagome’s eyes glanced his way.
“Sorry.” She mouthed. Matching his tone, as light as it was, was just too much energy right now, and it was a struggle on its own not to collapse.
As if reading her fatigue clearly, Inuyasha effortlessly made his way back up to the ledge to check on her. The backs of his fingers caressed her cheeks, pushing hair from her face. She was burning up; it’d hit her hard this time. They needed to get her to a place where she could safely recuperate.
“I don’t think any of those things Hakudoshi said.” She whispered on an exhale. Her body gave the slightest sway, and Inuyasha’s hands moved to her sides to prevent her from falling.
“Shh,” He soothed. “I know you don’t.”
“I - I would never.” Kagome looked as if she were about to cry, sparring against her exhaustion to stay upright. “I think you’re perfect the way you are.”
“Kid, stop.” Inuyasha lulled. “Come on, you need to rest.”
“Is the fight over?” Her brow furrowed tight, and one of her hands pressed into his thigh as she wavered again. It was like she couldn’t feel his support. “Are there - there anymore demons?”
“No. It’s over.” He shook his head. It clicked. She was about to pass out, and at the perfect moment, Inuyasha caught her when she fell into his chest. Giving it a second, he waited. Her breathing was still there, her pulse was still beating, but she was undeniably unconscious. Honestly, it was surprising that she’d lasted this long.
With a sigh of relief, Inuyasha held her tight for just a moment longer. Everything was fine now. Her body was forcing her to rest. Kagome was going to be extremely unhappy when she woke up later, but for now, she was okay. He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head before adjusting her legs so he could scoop an arm beneath the backs of her knees. She was safely cradled in his hold as he stood, silently gesturing to the others that it was time to leave.
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charliedawn · 4 years ago
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Imagine Alice coming back to you after being away for a long time
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As soon as you are home, you don't notice the shadow standing in your living room as you put your groceries on the table. You still have your earphones on and Alice doesn't want to disturb you. Finally, you look up and freeze on the spot as you see the woman of your dreams, standing there, as beautiful and surreal as you remembered her. You stand there for a few seconds, wondering if you are dreaming ? However, when you see her smile at you and open her arms wide, you don't waste any time before running towards her to embrace her.
" You're here ?! You're really here ?!"
You don't let her answer before kissing her passionately. Oh..How you've missed her tender lips and lovely golden eyes..She reciprocates before taking a step back to look at you with a small smile.
" Yes. I'm here. And I'm never living your side again."
You gently cup her face and she smiles tenderly at you.
" I missed you, my flower.."
You smile happily and nod before guiding her towards the couch so she can tell you everything that happened to her during her absence. You never met the Cullens, but you knew Bella and she usually came to you for advice, as she was the only one who knew about your relationship..
" So, did Edward succeed in staying away from Bella ? I saw her at school today, she looked so sick. She was in an even worse state than me. Are you going to stay ?"
Alice smiles through your questions without interrupting you and leans towards you, as if she is going to tell you a secret.
" Edward was in a very bad state too..He still thinks he can control love. But, he doesn't have the gift to see what is ahead, and I know that it is inevitable. We don't control who we fall in love with. We can just accept it. Those last few months have been a torture for me, and I'm so happy to be back.."
However, you nervously twitch your fingers together and she senses your uneasiness. She sneaks her arms around your neck and whispers.
" What is it ?"
You sigh, of course she would notice..
" I..I know you said it wasn't the time but..I still want to you to give me the bite, and meet your family. We could spend more time together, and I wouldn't be forced to stay hidden."
She frowns and takes a few steps away from you before looking at you with seriousness.
" We already talked about this. It is not time yet.."
You run your hand through your hair frustratingly and ask impatiently.
" Then when ?! I'm tired of waiting, Alice. It's great when you visit and all, but..I want to meet your family and follow you wherever you go. I love you."
Her eyes soften at your last words and she takes your hands in hers gently.
" I love you too. But..it's too soon. You know that Edward and Bella are already a big deal. Do you imagine the shock for my family if they knew that not one, but two Cullens are in love with a human ?"
You know that of course..but it doesn't mean the pain in your chest leaves whenever Alice is away. You take her in your arms and she snuggles against you like a cat.
" If only I wasn't so afraid of what the Volturis would do to us if they knew..I'm not afraid of dying, not really. But, I'm afraid they'll take the person that I care about the most away from me.."
She tenderly strokes your chin and gives you a sweet kiss on the lips before leaning back down.
" There is nothing I cherish more on this earth than you."
You close your eyes and gently run your fingers through her hair, something you came to get used to as it always seem to calm you both. She suddenly stands up and looks at you with a bright smile.
" But, we could go shopping together ?!"
You groan and bury your face in your pillow. You knew she would ask..Goodbye hoodies and normal pants..
" Noooo..You always end up buying me things that I never wear.."
She giggles excitedly before taking you by the arm to make you stand up as well.
" Oh, come on ! The cowboy-hat was cute !"
You roll your eyes playfully before answering her sarcastically.
" Yeah..I especially liked the part with the two very glittery sparkly antennas.."
Alice can't help but laugh at the memory, your shoulders had been covered for a long week afterwards. She still had the hat actually. However, she stares at you with big puppy eyes and you can't help but agree.
" You're a little demon..You know that ?"
She only smiles mischievously before winking at you and dragging you to the car waiting outside.
"~I know."
She replies in a sing-song voice before you both enter the car.
When arrived, you can't hold Alice back as she drags in every single shop she wants. She squeals nearly at each article while showing it to you with stars in her eyes.
" This ! It would look so good on you !"
Don't misunderstand, Alice has incredible taste. She is a fashion queen. But, for some reason, when it concerns you, she can't help but find everything good on you. Absolutely everything..
" Get out!"
" No!"
" Why not?!"
" Because I look ridiculous!"
" Oh come on! I'm sure it's not that b..!"
You suddenly open the door and get out with the t-shirt saying "Sorry can't. My girlfriend said no". She has to stop herself from bursting out laughing while you roll your eyes dramatically.
" See ?! Ridiculous."
You repeat, but she only grabs a t-shirt and goes in a nearby dressing room to get changed as well. When she gets out, she does a superman pose with her fists on her hips and a large proud smile on her face while you read what's written on the t-shirt.
" My boyfriend is a badass.."
She smiles even wider before taking you by the hand to the cashier. This is how you end up wearing those shirts all day, walking hand in hand in the mall. However, suddenly, Alice freezes and you quickly notice that it's because a group of teenagers that are staring straight at you both with frowns on their faces. You quickly understand that they must be in Alice's class. You try to reassure her by squeezing her hand slightly, they would probably ignore you and get on their way..However, you hadn't planned on one of them to actually approach you. A pretty fair-haired girl with very pale skin. She smiles and says hi to Alice that is obviously embarrassed.
" Hi Alice. Who's this ?"
She asks before turning towards you.
" Hi Nina..This is Y/N. A friend."
Okay. That stung. But, you force yourself to swallow your pride and shake the hand of Nina. However, you quickly see the girl's eyes do the math when she notices the t-shirts and your hands, still intertwined.
" So, little Alice found herself a friend then ? How nice.."
The way she tells it makes you think that she doesn't think any of it the things she said. You glare at her, but do not let go of Alice's hand. You even take a brave step forward and look down at the woman.
" Yeah. I'm her friend. And you are ?"
She only chuckles before looking up and down at you with obvious disdain.
" Just a girl that doesn't like the two of you together. Can't you see that she's a freak ?! Come on. Hang out with us instead.."
You ark an eyebrow and almost laugh at the proposition.
" Can't you read ?"
You show the t-shirt with a small smirk.
" My g..friend said no. Now, could you just back off ?"
But the girl stays put and only crosses her arms. You then see her gang circling you and one particularly muscular teen stepping forward to put his hand on her shoulder defensively.
" Everything' alright, babe ?"
He looks at you intentively and decide to hold his gaze. You couldn't fight vampires, but you could still beat a human..or you hoped. You take Alice's hand again and she squeezes yours lightly. She couldn't fight, you knew that. This is why you had to protect her. However, after a few seconds of stare-contest, Nina only smiles, as if satisfied, and only shakes her head negatively.
" Yes, everything's fine. I'll leave you two be."
To your surprise, she smiles genuinely at Alice before saying.
" He's a good guy."
Alice quickly comes back to her usual joyful self once the girl says those words and she then drags you towards the car before you can ask what that was all about. As soon as you're in, you want to ask her if she's okay, but she only jumps in your arms and buries her face in your chest. You are surprised for a moment, but finally wrap your arms around her with a worried frown.
" Hey..Are you okay ?"
She only nods before looking up at you with her bright golden eyes sparkling and a huge excited smile.
" I had a vision..They're going to love you ! I'm ready !"
You let out a sigh of relief before tightening your hold her and letting out a small laugh at the sudden news before asking.
" So..should I wear this shirt for the meeting day ?"
She seems horrified by the proposition and shakes her head vividly.
" Oh no ! In the Cullen family, everyone is fashionably styled ! We'll just have to find you a suit or something and..!"
You kiss her sweetly to stop her from getting too fat in her thoughts and she chuckles before melting into the kiss.
"..Or we can just do that.."
You laugh and kiss her even more until you need air. Suddenly, someone's voice makes itself heard just outside the car.
" Friends, huh ?"
You both look outside and see Nina standing there with a big smile on her face and her phone in hand. Alice gets out of the car and you want to get out as well, but Alice smiles reassuringly at you, assuring you that there is no problem. You can feel the tension. However, you are taken aback when they start smiling at each other. Suddenly, Nina looks straight at you with an eyebrow raised and asks with a certain apprehension.
" So, it's him ? He's the one ?"
You don't understand until Alice nods and turns towards you with a big smile.
" Yeah. He's the one, Rosalie.."
Rosalie ? You don't understand right away, but you manage to connect the dots pretty quickly. Pale face. Golden eyes. Rosalie Cullen..This meant that..You open your eyes wide at the realization and get out to see the rest of the group she was with a couple of feet away.
" Wait..You're the Cullens ?!"
They all seem to be amused by your reaction as you awkwardly try to tame your disheveled hair and hide the t-shirt by zipping your hoodie.
" Nice to meet you all..I thought I would be a bit more prepared but, like that's fine too."
You say politely, trying to hide your embarrassment and some of the members laugh while others only smile understandingly. They each present themselves and you finish by whispering to Alice.
" You could have told me..I thought there were some bad people from your school..You didn't even have any vision, did you ?"
You ask knowingly and she only smiles widely before kiss you on the cheek.
" Nope. I just thought it was the moment..You're right, I've kept you in the dark for too long. I also wanted the reaction of my sisters and brothers before presenting you to my parents.."
You sigh loudly, understanding now why Alice had dragged you away so quickly, before looking at the group and asking with a hopeful smile.
" So, did I pass the test ?"
It's the muscular man that steps forwards and answers you with a wide smile.
" With flying colors, man. You're very cool. I especially liked the part when you stared at me dead in the eyes. I could totally snap your neck but, I admire the courage. I knew at that moment that you would protect Alice with everything you got. We needed to know that you would be willing to protect our baby sister, as human or vampire. So, you pass. It's a yes for us."
You smile when he extends his hand towards you and you chuckle while shaking your head at the mad theatrics.
" Me who thought Alice was exaggerating when she told me that you were pretty intense.."
" Well, better get used to it. Once the Cullen clan approves, you are family."
Rosalie says with a small smile and they all nod in agreement.
" Do you love her ?"
A guy who you think is named Jasper asks while eyeing you suspiciously. You look back at Alice and smile widely, knowing the answer and confidently replying.
" With all my heart."
They all smile and Alice suddenly yells with a fist raised in the air.
" Well, what are we waiting for ?! Carlisle and Esme are waiting for us."
You open your eyes wide as the whole gang seem to kidnap you in their family van.
" W..Wait! I thought I would change first !"
You scream while trying to get out of their grip, but they don't listen to you and Emmett even laughs.
" And miss Carlisle's face when he sees you ?! Ah ! Not a chance !"
Emmett says while pushing you inside. Alice tries to reassure you by giving you a quick chaste kiss on the lips.
" Don't worry..They'll love you. I know it."
Welp, looks like the Cullen family adopted you..Congrats. You passed the test. After such a long wait, it is finally time for your great adventure.
This was a request from @werewolf-himbo. Hope you like it !
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lilyrachelcassidy · 3 years ago
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Moonlight
Draco x Reader One-Shot
Summary: This is based off the song ‘Moonlight’ by Ariana Grande. During the bad times of War, not everything has to be so black-and-white. Both Y/N and Draco know it just too well.
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: language 
tags: @drawlfoy @eltanin-malfoy
Composing yourself had been more than a hard thing to ask for lately.
The Death Eater had finally taken Hogwarts under their control; famous Harry Potter, who was allegedly supposed to play a hero, disappeared in the depth of the unknown; the plan of escaping the school turned out to be an utter failure since the Dementors encircled and blocked every passage of absconding, escalating the disappointment over students.
Yet you hadn't thought of the plan B as an alternative solution, but you were sure, even if you managed to find one, it might take a few more months to figure things out. And you had to admit that increasing anxiety about your parents made you cry yourself to sleep at night. Despite your insistent pleads of the letters to contact you, you hadn't received any response or other sign of life ever since over two months of a constant worry.
And yet, it wasn't the worst part.
The Carrows, who unwarrantedly preferred to call themselves professors Carrows from now on, had decided to introduce their new methods of teaching everyone. And punishing for any triviality.
Once, for example, in Charms class -- which was the worst nightmare of a week -- you had been asked to stand up in front of the class and demonstrate a Crucio curse on the First Year who happened to accidentally bump into Alecto in the corridor. Obviously, you hadn't obeyed an imposed task to which Carrows only reacted with unrestrained rage. Instead of punishing the eleven-year-old boy, the lesson had turned out to be your disciplining session of torture for not being submissive enough. Although the feat had brought you more renown later on, which served to make Carrows more flustered, you still couldn't get out of the Hospital Wing for whole three days.
All of that also led your Occulumency to suffer, which was doubling the struggle. There was for sure no doubt it was an important skill to have, not only to create a mental barrier protecting yourself from uninvited intruders; but also preventing others' thoughts from leaking into your head. It was already enough of bearing the non-stopping suspense in the air. So, the idea of accumulating more emotions on your account would probably navigate to an outburst.  
One thing, however, surprised you. You had found out that people who outwardly seemed to have quite a reputation of cruel tossers were actually more decent and human than you could think. In particular, certain Draco Malfoy, who had been selected as a Head Boy in terms of this year.
Wandering around the school and doing the night patrols, he had happened to find you sitting hunched over, face buried in your knees, and sobbing brokenly at the fate the Wizarding World was faced to deal with. He had flumped next to you, without question, silently accompanying and comforting you in moments of solitude.
Two other times of your encounter had been in the library: spotting you among the crowd of students, he would come over and take a nearby place. You didn't know whether it was a matter of pride or disposition, but he had never spoken up, which you, in fact, didn't mind. At first, you had been a little bit dubious about his sudden influx of approachability. However, as to mute your suspicions down, you tried not pondering about it too much.
Funny, how the real nature of the boy who you had known for a nonchalant sneer and teasing remarks, could suddenly become so interesting and mysterious.
It was on a Thursday late that you were strolling up to The Astronomy Tower to see the Thestrals soaring in the air. Normally, it was around the time when you would be putting yourself to the bed, but too many thoughts were buzzing in your mind, and you knew it wouldn't give you much space to sleep anyways. The only optimum, instead of staring aimlessly at the ceiling and flipping from one to the other side of the mattress, was busying yourself with something else. The lack of sleep was due to nothing else than today's lesson with Carrows. They had thought up an idea of having some practice with a Confrigo spell which, rather unfortunately, was presented on a living phantom. As always, a whole hour of torments was disastrous, to say at least, and even after classes, you couldn't shake off the echo of troubled screams and beggings, which carried over the petrified room of students. That's why you were thinking you could swallow your emotions down, quietly and undisturbedly, in the only place you could wish for some private space. Besides, it was the only spot resembling the old Hogwarts you had known from the previous years, showing the calming extent of green grounds.
However to your surprise, when you pushed the door to The Astronomy Tower, noiselessly, you could notice a silhouette of a man already standing at the barrier, which made you momentarily flabbergasted suddenly considering an option of running upon a teacher. To save yourself from much too unwanted detention, you decided to change your track, rushing straight into your dormitory. But almost as you succeeded doing so, in the last moment, a person shifted in their place and spoke up before you had room to move.
"Pretty late for a casual stroll, huh?" At once, a feeling of dread ebbed away, and you exhaled deeply air you didn't know you were holding as you recognized none other than Draco with his back turned towards you. His tone was as usually taunting, but something in a timbre of sadness was hitched to it as well. "Shouldn't be sneaking out of the room on the patroling hours, you know? I'm the least of who you could come upon today."
Your dignity told you to say something in order to defend your harmless saunter to calm down your nerves, which benefited only your mental account. However, he made a point -- you could have been caught not only by some random teacher but Currows themselves who, you were inexorably aware, wouldn't let a chance of dehumanizing others slip away. And besides, you were a little too dumbstruck to speak, realizing it must be the first time Draco fucking prince Malfoy had uttered more than a word to you. What was a coincidence of meeting up with him just on the same day as you had been wondering about your atypical relationship formed within this school year?
Before your contemplation ended, Draco's voice carried on with a conversation, echoing off the walls. "Care to join? Seeing as you're already here."
Frowning to yourself at how surreal the situation can become, you stepped off the stairs with no more hesitation. You truly wouldn't have suspected the things would turn out that way -- embracing his Head Boy position, you thought he would send you off back to the Hufflepuff Tower with his dismissive attitude as it usually was. Inviting you over to company him was a top cherry you hadn't even considered. Truthfully, it made you feel a little thrilled to accept this offer.
As you walked over to him, his facial features became much sharper than from afar. Now, as you looked at him closely, you could define the contours of his face were even more angelic yet still masculine than in daily light. The platonic hair glinted accordingly to the moon above; his blue eyes were focused on a black void in the sky, clearly pondering more than concentrating on a particular object; a mouth pursed into a line, not a mocking expression he was usually carrying himself with. Eyeing him like that and still not being capable of deciphering him suggested he must be someone between a completely unemotional git or an excellent master of Occulumency. You preferred to presume the second one.
Quickly, realizing you were staring, you turned your head to behold a collection of vivid stars hovering above your head. You knew it was only in the Wizarding World that sky flickered so brightly -- your father was a muggle, and a whole family dwelled among a non-magical society, which you didn't mind at all. And that's why you were able to recognize... differences existing between those two worlds.
"Why are you here?" you asked curiously, not quite capable of restraining yourself from doing so. You were standing close enough to him to smell his sandalwood cologne.
He gave you a perfunctory smile, and although it was a three-second gesture, it somehow made you lighter on the chest to know he was convenient with a conversation. "Needed someplace to think," he explained, not darting his eyes away from where he was looking. He took a pause there. "You?"
"The same reason," you answered simply, shrugging. "My roommates can be too loud sometimes, and I needed some silence to sort out...stuff."
Draco nodded in understanding, not interfering any further into the topic. Brushing your hair habitually with fingers, you scolded yourself for coming up here in the first place. How could you act so irresponsibly to think you could smoothly break a regulations' rule and without anyone finding out? Although you were desperate to hide it, the presence of Draco made you inexplicably nervous, and even though you tried to gulp it down, your stomach was churning when he was around. Time proved his intentions weren't bad after all, and you confronted with the truth ever since he first happened to find you at the moment of your meltdown in the corridor, clutching to him as if he was your sanity. But that didn't dispel your doubts about him becoming a fully active Death Eater, who praised with a Dark Mark on the left forearm like with a reward for some kind of acrobatic stunt.
Your gaze swept briefly over the rolled-up sleeves of his snow-white shirt only to assure yourself the mark didn't disappear off his arm with some help of the power of your imagination. Yet it was still there -- as always, tinted coal-black, scary and blood-curdling every time you looked at it.
That evidently didn't escape Draco's notice who, as though reading your mind, started. "You know, I didn't want this." He didn't have to show what he meant by saying so because you instantly figured it out. You looked up at him, and almost invisibly, his skin pale as it already was, changed even to the whiter shade. "He has bait on me. All of this: assassinating Dumbledore; obeying his will -- it's not because I want that."
The sudden shock welled up at these words, and you gawked at him stupidly, not quite able to process what he had just told you. Swallowing with some difficulty, you coerced yourself to a mutter. "Why... why are you telling me this?"
For the first time this night, his steely stare landed at you, scanning your face to detect signs of emotion. You attempted to conceal it, but he could see you were thunderstruck by his unexpected confession. Without preamble, he smiled slightly at you. "I thought you ought to know."
Ignoring the clenching in your chest, you did your best to not break eye contact with Draco when his eyes were intently locked on yours now. You could swear, something on the verge of interest and sympathy flickered in them for a second. "Why?"
"Because you're the only person who doesn't freak out when I'm around," he explained carefully. "Every time I go to the library or appear in any other public place, you're the only one who doesn't glare."
He closed his eyes, clearly relived with the fact he could confide the worries he had been carrying for a long time. Breathing out through the nose and his lips flinching a little, his head spun again to the blank of the sky.
It was a depressing sight to see him in such dejection, and the images of him being cast aside by his former group of friends with who he had been laughing merely a year ago rolled into your head, try as might to suppress it. You could only imagine what it must feel like to be rejected by everyone around; to play the main role in something you never wished to participate in.
For a moment, you thought he was going to continue because he grunted enigmatically, but the silence remained. Unable to restrain the urge to offer physical comfort, you affectionately grabbed his palm, squeezing it in the reassurance that you were there for him. He didn't attempt to break himself out of the grip, which presumably was a good indication.
"I believe you," you stated, for some reason, satisfied with the fact you're the one to comfort him. "You are a good person, Draco."
This time, it was he who clasped your hand, and he glimpsed at you once more, towering over you with his long legs. "No. In the past, things happened, and to say, I'm not proud of them. Jeering, mocking, insulting -- that wasn't fa-."
"Past is a past, Draco," you cut him off, knowing where it all was leading, and you wanted to bring it to an abrupt end. It was the least adequate moment for apologies. "You can't fix it. Good that you understand your mistakes by now."
He hummed in comprehension, smiling, and his grasp tightened around your palm as if you were about to run off from him, which he couldn't be more wrong about. Admitting to yourself, you loved his smile -- though it was seldom, it much differed from a smirk you were accustomed to at that point -- and you secretly hoped he could do it more often. You also loved that even if he didn't talk much, he was very successful in lifting you up.
Therefore, there you were: standing arm-to-arm with your ex-bully who you had happened to run across; observing the moon in its full exposure; holding hands in reassurance. Both of you clearly enjoyed this gratifying moment and were lingering towards it not to end.
"Thank you," Draco finally choked out. "Thank you for...everything."
Ultimately, smashing the wall of uncertainty down, he wrapped his arms around your neck, hunching a little to adjust to your height, and buried his face in the crook of your neck. At first, your body stiffened at the sudden touch and a skip of the boundary, but as not to agitate him, you adapted yourself soon enough by reciprocating the hug. You started to rub the slow, steady circles on his back, and little by little, he began stroking your hair, softly grazing your scalp.
How long you stood clinging to each other like this, you didn't know. Hearing Draco sigh quietly, feel the rise and fall of it against your hands. Your heart sunk when you heard him breathe out, and you prepared yourself for him to mix out of the embrace because of sudden consciousness he was cuddling with a half-blood Hufflepuff he had been mocking for half of a decade ('I should get going'; 'I didn't mean what I said earlier; 'leave me be, Y/S'). But none of this happened, and he was only murmuring into your ear.
"I presume I should escort you to the dormitory. I could tell you were the whole time with me so no one would get any suspicion if we run into...anyone," he offered, yet you felt him almost grimacing at the thought of ending a moment you were two having.
"Mhm..." you agreed with no more opposition. "But let's give it one more minute."
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A/N: This is so typical of me to do something other than what's necessary lmao ;) The second chapter of Summer Nights is almost up if anyone interested. As I think of it now, this one-shot gives me such a vibe of Loud Places/Turn. However, I hope you enjoyed it :) Oh, and I'm explaining the sudden change of schedule with posting: 1. I'm very irresposible; 2. I got the super inspo to scribble this one-shot. Hah, sorry...
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tenthgrove · 4 years ago
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Helloo~~
I was wondering if i could request,child!reader being adopted by Gelato and Sorbet(they kept the child a secret) and when they have to go away on a mission they leave child!reader with la squadra to look after? Howd they react? If this is okay!
La Squadra Babysitting Sorbet and Gelato’s Adopted Child
La Squadra x Reader, platonic/parental, sfw.
Sorbet and Gelato had always hoped to be parents someday. Originally intending to adopt by legal means as soon as they left the assassination busines, their plans altered considerably as their 30s dragged on with no sign of escape from the criminal underworld.
Still, you were an impulse.
Your parents were business folk. Though incredibly wealthy, they had run afoul of Passione and for that they had to be punished. Your room was on the far side of the mansion, where you couldn’t hear the sounds of your parents’ murders.
There was never a reason for the assassins to find you, but your fate was altered by a fleeting, split-second decision to find a different way out of the house. The second Sorbet and Gelato laid eyes on you, they knew their search for a child had ended. 
For the merciless brutality they regard most of humanity with, your new fathers are excellent to you. You are showered with love every day of your life and you are never harmed or neglected. Within weeks you are already beginning to feel happier than you ever did with your old parents.
A few months after Sorbet and Gelato adopted you, you are bundled into the car with a bag of your things and driven to a large house in the middle of the city. You are somewhat familiar with this place as the dwelling of your fathers’ friends, and according to them, the place they spent most of their time before you came along. Still, you have not spoken much with the eccentric men who live inside, recalling little from your brief conversations with them other than their names. 
Sorbet and Gelato lead you up the doorstep and kiss you goodbye. They explain that they have to go away for a few days for work, but their friends will take good care of you in the meantime. You watch them drive away, before a tall man clad in black calls you into the house. 
Risotto- The Capo of La Squadra is still a little bitter about the stunt Sorbet and Gelato pulled to keep you with them. How convenient it was, that they simply forgot to inform him of your adoption until the point where it would simply be too cruel, even by Risotto’s standards, to demand they give you away. But even if he’s only known about your existence for a few weeks, you are still a part of Risotto’s family and he’ll be damn well sure the team looks after you like they promised. For one, Risotto will be overseeing everyone else’s responsibilities, making sure that anyone who agrees to watch you for a certain period actually does it. However, especially as the days drag on, Risotto will frequently find himself taking on your supervision personally. The man can clear a playground just by showing up, so whenever he has an hour free he’ll take you down there so you can get some fresh air. It fills you with a sense of pride and self-confidence to have such a scary-looking man as your friend. And having you smile at him makes Risotto feel human again.
Prosciutto- Jesus Christ on a bike. In retrospect, Prosciutto is starting to wish that the very obvious secret Sorbet and Gelato were badly hiding for those months really had been a plot against the boss. They would be more likely to come out of that alive than parenthood. But… Prosciutto isn’t going to risk getting his knees caved in for letting your health falter in their care, so the second-in-command is going to take on the more practical elements of baby-sitting you. Food, clothes, hygiene… he’ll bitch about it, but if anyone else offers to do it for him he’ll turn them down. The truth is, Prosciutto secretly enjoys looking after someone. It feeds his naturally caring nature, a side of him he rarely gets to explore. 
Pesci- Personally he doesn’t know what everyone else is angry about. He thinks it’s great Sorbet and Gelato got a kid! They’re both so nice to everyone! (Pesci thinks this because he hasn’t been on many missions with them yet.) Prosciutto doesn’t like him spending too much time with you because he sees it as an excuse to slack off from his training, but whenever the opportunity arises Pesci is going to watch you play. He doesn’t join in, always fearing he’ll ruin things for you with his clumsiness somehow, but if you ask him, he will.
Formaggio- This guy has had like no experience with young children in a long, long time, so having you around is somewhat of a novelty to him. At first, he scares you a little with how loud and unpredictable he is, but it isn’t long before you find yourself having a lot of fun with him. He’d like to take you outside, kick a ball around perhaps, but Risotto insists that you’re only allowed out the house with him or Prosciutto. Instead, Formaggio will settle for watching some TV, always ready with his own weak-humoured commentary to make it more entertaining for you.
Illuso- He immediately finds himself more endeared to you than he would have liked. He shouldn’t be getting attached to some random kid, even if it is his colleagues’ child, but you’re just so damn sweet to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad wasting his time with you. When things are getting tense around the hideout, Illuso will let you and you alone see him through the mirror. It always makes you giggle, and you forget whatever it was that’s worrying everyone.
Melone- Don’t ask him how, but he figured out Sorbet and Gelato had adopted a kid a while before everyone else did. Given his stand, it’s useful for him to be able to identify the signs of someone being a parent, and this came in handy here. Anyway, Melone knew it would inevitably come down to you staying over with them whenever Sorbet and Gelato needed you off their hands for a bit. He bought a few new toys, to add to the collection he uses for educating babyface, and spends his allotted time with you observing how you interact with them. Although his demeanour may seem detached and experimental during these times, he genuinely does enjoy watching you. It fills him with happiness to see how obviously happy you are in your new life with your dads.
Ghiaccio- He tries to avoid you at first, thinking that a child in the hideout can only ever go wrong. But then he realises you seem to think you’ve displeased him somehow, and deep down, Ghiaccio feels bad. You aren’t a bad kid, he supposes. You’re not annoyingly loud or stubborn, and you generally do as you’re told. You do cry sometimes, mostly when you miss your dads, but you always stop whenever Ghiaccio gets them on the phone for you. He’ll tolerate you. If anything, he wouldn’t mind doing this again if Sorbet and Gelato need them too.
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applejuizz · 4 years ago
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laughter of youth.
the scout regiment has managed to rescue eren and recover annie’s crystal from their enemies, yet at the cost of many soldiers’ lives. levi learns a valuable lesson of trust. characters: levi ackerman x gn! reader (platonic!), historia reiss, sasha braus, jean kirstein, mikasa ackerman, eren jaeger, connie springer warnings: canon violence (vague descriptions), mentions of blood/wounds word count: 1.764 inspired by attack on titan 2: final battle and the story of “our man”, the customizable in-game character.
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Paperwork after paperwork after all the paperwork...
Levi had come to dread the sound of hasty footsteps pacing up to his wooden office door and its prolonged creak as Miss Four Eyes allowed themselves in carrying yet another pile of experiment reports, barely containing their unreasonable excitement. While they fervently sought the tiniest free space to fit the monstrosity held in their arms, their flow of Titan anatomy ramblings never ceased.
Levi, you won’t believe what Eren managed to do today...!
Victor - who the hell is Victor? - stood awake the whole night and was as energetic as ever in the morning! This new breed of Titans is quite interesting!
I keep naming these Titans and I won’t shut up already and I should slap myself before you kick me across the fields, Levi! - he couldn’t possibly describe the joy these words would bring him coming out of Hange’s mouth. Too good to be true, unfortunately.
He shifted into his chair, straightening his back and shaking off the annoyance that had been constantly pulling on his nerves for three days already.
Thankfully, his office was quiet and the hallway was blissfully empty. Hange had taken a day off from experiments to let Eren rest. On that note, Jean and Eren had stopped arguing for once, Sasha had ceased her relentless search of meat and he could finally relish in the silence surrounding him. It wasn’t often that he got to have such quiet moments to himself.
And because they were so rare, only when he got the chance to savor them did he realize how much he actually hated them.
It wasn’t that he disliked being alone - on the contrary, he loved solitude a little too much for his own good. Instead, he found that whenever he allowed his mind to rest, he was assaulted by intrusive thoughts and memories that he’d rather bury deep in the back of his consciousness. Perks of being a soldier.
His eyes took in rows and columns of observations on the papers in front of him. His hand signed each and every one of them away promptly, yet his mind was drifting, conjuring up crimson fields, disgusting Titan flesh sliced in half, the blood-curdling screams of soldiers trampled off their horses or chewed to their demise. Nothing he wasn’t used to. However, that didn’t mean it didn’t make his skin crawl sometimes.
He thought back to commander Erwin, weak and thinning, laying in a hospital bed with only an arm left. Levi knew his superior was a strong man; he didn’t worry much about his recovery. What did plant the seed of doubt in his heart was the fact that somehow, the man he’d thought nearly invincible had been so badly wounded, and that alone was a strong indicator of the deep shit they all were in.
And of course, the one member in his squad that had never returned from the battlefield hung dark and heavy over his consciousness, a shadow of guilt, the same damn story repeating itself over and over again. No matter how much he tried to avoid it, it came crawling back like an awful nightmare, looming over him along with the deaths of all the other people he has trusted and cared for. Isabel and Farlan, Petra, Eld, Günther, Oruo… and now them too.
I won’t die on you, sir!
Like hell you won’t.
Their promise rang in his ears as if trying to mock him. The shadows of his consciousness sneered at him: look what happens when you decide to trust people, you twerp. Should’ve known better. Haven’t you learned your lesson?
“Tsk.” He set the cup he’d mindlessly lifted back on his desk. The tea had gone cold. He’d have to ask someone to brew him another. Not exactly pleasant, but enough to distract him from the dark path his thoughts had gone onto.
Before he could even stand up from his chair, though, loud voices boomed from downstairs through the whole hideout and caused the floor beneath his feet to vibrate. They were followed by clattering of pots and Jaeger’s unmistakable yelling, obnoxious and over dramatic as always.
So much for his quiet moment.
With an exasperated sigh, Levi picked up his cup again and left his desk and the piles of papers behind, shaking off the last of his melancholy. These damn brats can’t get anything done without wrecking havoc first…
The kitchen was right beneath his office, so all he had to do was climb down the short flight of stairs, put the cadets back in their place, ask horseface to brew him some more tea and go back upstairs. Simple enough.
He came to the sight of Eren, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha and Connie all hunched around in a compact group, chattering loudly and all over each other. Historia’s dulcet tone surprisingly prevailed amongst deeper voices, although she was nowhere to be seen.
“Wait! You need bandages before anything else! The gash in your side isn’t looking good…”
“Yeah! You’ve literally been through hell and back!” Jean marvelled.
“No, guys! They need food!” Sasha exclaimed as if she'd made a grand discovery, grabbing a half-boiled potato straight out of the pot.
“Sasha, no! The potatoes aren’t done yet-”
“Oi, what the hell is going on here?!”
“C-Captain Levi!” Jaeger stumbled back on his feet, broom in his hands, his headscarf sitting askew on his head. The huddle immediately dispersed, everyone had gone dead silent. Levi scanned the room quickly, not paying much attention to the soldiers’ faces and rolled his eyes.
“I thought I told you to clean up the kitchen, not turn it into a pigsty!” He passed a critical hand over the table, gathering up the dust in his palm and making a grimace. Cleaning supplies, pots and cups were scattered all over the floor and the table, as if the cadets had all come to a mutual agreement of dropping everything at once just to see how many white hairs Levi would gain in his hair.
“B-but-”
“Get back to work and stop yelping, you’re turning my brain into mush.”
But before he could open his mouth to bark another order at Jean, his eyes finally landed on who was once the centre of the huddle: Historia Reiss holding on to a hunched figure’s arm, obviously attempting to provide support, but ending up resembling more of a lost puppy clinging to someone’s sleeve.
“Captain Levi!” the petite girl exclaimed, a hint of relief present in her voice, “I-I went to get water from the fountain and I found them there! They seem stable, but I think they might need a doctor-”
His thoughts were running at light’s speed, yet he couldn’t get his body to wake up from its frozen state at the bottom of the stairs. What must’ve only been seconds felt like hours. As if time had decided to finally slow down, to finally stop the nonsensical blurry of days, months, years passing by only to give him a chance to breathe. A chance to understand. Was it just too good to be true?
“Captain…?” Springer trailed off, eyes bulging out of his little bald head, and quickly recoiled as Jean subtly elbowed him in the stomach. Only then did Levi notice that he had been standing among the shattered porcelain of what used to be his teacup, his hand still hanging in the air as if clinging to the ghost of the object.
The cadet finally raised their eyes from the floor, face bloodied and battered, yet still brightened by youth and devotion.
“Captain Levi… sir.” They saluted in a weak voice, raising two fingers to their temple.
Their last name rolled off Levi’s lips in a stronger tone than he thought he’d manage, yet still trailed off a bit in disbelief. Clearing his throat, he stepped over the broken porcelain.
“So. You came back, huh?” Out of all the words piled up on the tip of his tongue, begging to spill out, the best he could come up with was a rhetorical question. But the soldier still let out a dry chuckle, straightening their back as much as their wounds allowed them to. Their legs wobbled and the Ackerman girl, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, immediately jumped in to offer extra support. Seeing the usually stone-faced Mikasa’s facial expression filled with a flurry of emotions similar to those churning in his heart allowed him to relax a bit.
“Of course.” The wounded cadet answered. “I made a promise, didn’t I?”
Levi gave a slight nod, features stoic, yet he felt his heart grow with pride in his chest. The same glint of determination glowed in their eyes as it did back then, during their rookie days, when they had placed their fist over their heart and had sworn to stay alive. He had heard the same promise come out of so many of his dead comrades’ mouths that realistically, he shouldn’t have expected this particular soldier to honor it. Yet for some reason, unknown even to himself, he had chosen to place his fragile trust in them. Maybe it had been their thirst for revenge, or their sheer willpower which, dare he say, could surpass Eren’s; whatever it had been, he did not regret it.
He drew closer, steps light as feathers on the wooden floor and took advantage of their hunched position to card his fingers through their hair, ruffling it affectionately. These damn kids keep getting taller… he thought bitterly to himself. The gesture managed to transform their wince of pain into a look of total and innocent wonder. The look in the eyes of a kid who's just got the utmost gesture of validation from a parent.
“You’re a good kid,” he conceded, patting their scalp twice before letting his hand fall back to his side. He could barely recognize the gentle tone of his own voice. “Although were you not wounded, I’d have roundhouse kicked your ass for scaring everyone like this.”
The phrase hadn’t even been that funny, in his opinion, but they let out a joyous, loud laugh, contagious to the people around them. It even pulled a chuckle out of Mikasa.
And as he stood there in the kitchen, surrounded by the laughter of youth, he finally understood. Placing his trust in these kids, fighting alongside them, protecting them with the price of his life were worth all the risks because they were humanity’s last hope. And he would do anything to one day see their joyful faces wiped clean of crimson wounds and dirt and death. Anything.
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seancekitsch · 4 years ago
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Dislocated
A/N Warnings: description of injury, references to violence, oral sex, penetrative sex, diego being a soft little angel but also very sexy hot sex man, cursing, diego has long hair but other than that no spoilers, mild product placement because me and u and everyone else are slaves to capitalism, references to diegos comics powers
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“Fuck. Where do you keep your bactine?”
“My what?”
“Bactine! You know the spray stuff I use. It would really help that split knuckle of yours,” Diego sounds exhausted, but there's a hint of teasing, or maybe pride in his voice as he rummages on his hands and knees in your bathroom cabinet. The knuckle on your middle finger of your left hand is split open, oozing blood and angry looking. Your bathroom, and the two of you, look like a scene out of a horror film tonight. There is his shirt, which was white earlier tonight, now a red and pink and brown tie dye with blood, some of it yours. You have your hand, and a bruise blooming under your eye. 
“My knuckle wouldn’t need anything if those people hadn’t come after us,” you snap, “Who were they anyway?”
“Oh you know, someone with something against someone in my family,” Diego offers as he digs, as if it's commonplace to fight off attackers on date night. As if this was something normal people from normal families dealt with. Of fucking course, you think.
“Someone? Or you specifically, babe?”
He sits back at this, and a hard look crosses his features, not at you, contemplating, then breaks into the slightest grin as he looks down at the gauze and neosporin in his hands and nods. Thats fair. From where you're sitting on the rim of the tub, he looks like some kind of action hero in the night. Some real die hard shit in your dimly lit bathroom. Normally, it's you in his position, but you doubt you look like this. He's got his vigilante bullshit, which frequently has him showing up during booty call hours needing to be bandaged up before thanking you with a little action of your own. You wonder if he's going to be as good a nurse to you as you are to him, or if he's genuinely a little angry at your role in what transpired tonight. You didn't even make it to your dinner reservation, opting to walk because the weather was nice, before two men dressed exactly the way unnamed baddies in a die hard film grabbed at you from behind and the two of you had to defend yourselves. Only some of the blood on his shirt was yours. This is probably why he always wears black. He looks damn good in black. 
“Anyone ever taught you how to fight? Throw a punch?”
You tilt your head, which is a bad move because it feels a little heavy, giving him a look that says of course no one did. 
“Right,” he nods and you figure that once you heal he will probably be changing that. Diego never wanted to rope you into anything having to do with the academy or what he does at night, unless it was seeing his siblings in almost real people circumstances like dinners. But seeing you get hurt tonight means he obviously has to make some changes to that mindset, you have to be able to defend yourself if for ever some reason he can't. You're going to have to get sweaty, and not in the way you like to. But anything for your safety, Diego thinks. He cannot risk losing you after having lost so much. 
He resigns to this as he helps you up, puts you on the bathroom counter with the vanity, you now sitting on the edge of the sink so he can sink down and sit while he cleans your hand. You were lucky that it was just the left hand. Your right hand had been spared from your left’s bloody fate because of the way your right hand tried to seek out Diego while your left threw a clumsy punch, but the hardest one you'd ever thrown. Your whole arm aches and your bracelet had been broken, but you have to say you're lucky for this being your only injury. Diego clutches your hand, a bit harder, but that's because he knows you're not going to like the feel of the neosporin as it makes contact with your skin. He has a substantial amount on his fingers of the hand that's not holding yours, and looks you in the eye as he makes the ointment meet your skin. No matter how gentle he can be when he wants to, it stings. It's supposed to be that way so it doesn't get infected and kill you, but you can't help the hiss that leaves your mouth and the wince across your features. As he rubs it in, you can feel yourself getting used to the pain. It doesn't subside but it becomes more manageable as it becomes something more familiar. Is this what Diego feels each time? 
It feels worse again when Diego stops rubbing it in, and reaches for the bandages. Maybe because you don't want him to stop touching you, but maybe it is because of more exposure to the air. He uses the hand holding yours to hold it in place as he wraps, gently again, but so the wrap is pulled tight. You have some movement, but you won't be making a fist again for a while. He ties it off, tapes it to make extra sure, and then kisses the knuckles over their bandage as you smile down at him and laugh. Hes a perfect romantic gentleman when he wants to be.
He stands and reaches behind you, arms going around you on either side. You reach to hug him back tightly, only you hear him chuckle as the water of the sink turns on behind you. He's washing the chemicals from his hands. After he scrubs real well, dries his hands, he returns the hug, burying his face in your neck and squeezing tightly as if he's trying to make sure you're still there. His relief fans out as an exhale along your neck and you can physically feel his entire body relax against you now because you're safe. You're going to be okay. 
“How'd I do, baby?” he asks, still burying his face in your neck, “Good enough that your nurse gets a tip?”
“Nurses don't get tips.”
“You usually do.”
“I didn't say you wouldn't be rewarded for your efforts, did I?”
He pulls back to look you in the eye.
“So what do I get?”
“Anything you want, baby.”
Diego’s hands are gentle as they trail from your shoulders down your sides, gripping fistfuls of the flowy shirt you wear and pulls you to the edge of the counter. Still gentle. Still full of fear for you. Maybe mixed and speckled with relief. 
The way his hands continue south, to unzipper your pants, pulling them off slowly, gently, an act of love and service more than an act of lust. He inches the fabric over your ankles, your feet, discards them somewhere outside the doorway into the hall with a small toss. Rises back to his knees for a moment, takes a pause to wrap his arms around you in a hesitant hug, like he could break you, his arms warm. Your arms instinctually settle on his shoulders to cradle the back of his head in your bandaged and loved hands before he snaps out of the moment and moves on to your shirt. He pays special attention to the buttons, one after the other slow and meticulous. If this were another night and a shirt you didn't care much about, there's a good chance he would have just cut the shirt from your frame. But tonight he's doing things like a holy man with an intricate ritual. When the last button is unfastened and free, his palms flatten, slowly slide up your torso over your stomach, over your breasts, and to your shoulders where he moves the fabric from them with the feather light touch taking extra time to feel your left shoulder, the one that swung the momentum of the punch that split your knuckle. He’s checking to see if its dislocated, you realize. 
“D? Baby, I’m okay. You're good at playin’ nurse,” you reassure him. 
He seems to understand, as he next pulls the straps from your bra down your shoulders, slides his hands behind your back, and makes sure you feel the heat from his hands as he makes work of the clasp. Your underwear is next, and a hint of Diego on a normal night shines through, with one hand splayed across your back he uses the other to pull the underwear down from one hip, then switches sides and tugs on the other side. He makes quick work of them, unlike the tempo he had going. They end up somewhere in the doorway near your pants, but you don't really care about their location because he's pressing his lips against your chest just around your sternum and his facial hair tickles. You still weren't completely sure where he came back from or what he went through a few months ago, but the way that he loves you and treats you like the most precious thing is definitely welcome. As was the new lack of haircut and the less groomed facial hair. He kisses lower and lower, making you shiver with anticipation of what's to come, before he settles where he's needed now.
Diego moves slowly, glacial. The way he licks you open has no purpose, merely exploratory and drawn out. Mapping you on his tongue. But it doesn’t fail to have you mewling above him, one hand gripping the counter and the other buried in his hair as his strong calloused hands hold you open for him to drink full. He dips lower, where you need him, then travels north again as if oblivious to your reactions. He could do this all night. He stays there, meandering; savoring the taste lazily as you grow more impatient at the non-committal non-specific way he licks and kisses and moves. You feel like you are hors d'oeuvres and not a meal for a starving man. And then Diego does what Diego does best. He surprises you. A hard suck to your clit has you inhaling sharply, gasping through your nose as your toes curl and your eyes flutter shut. You lean back over the sink, back of your head resting on the mirror as you try to present yourself at an easier angle for him. He dives into licking you in full-heartedness now, fucking you with his tongue, kissing and sucking at your clit, absolutely killing any coherent thought coming through your mind right now. The benefits of dating a man that can hold his breath indefinitely was definitely what he did with his mouth to you when you were alone. 
He adds a finger and you automatically think you've died. He knows exactly what he's doing when he fucks you like this, his mouth adding to the wetness dripping from you as he works you over, putting just enough pressure behind each thrust of his hand to have you seeing stars. Your eyes roll back as a wanton moan tears from your throat and it sounds like someone elses voice desperately chanting his name as he has you coming, coming, and coming on his face and hand. He stays down there, the one hand still on your thigh to hold you in place, to give you a light squeeze, release some of the muscle tension built up while he licks his other hand clean sucking the digit into his mouth obscenely while he smiles up at you like an angel. He rises up from his knees and kisses your cheek with his wet mustache and beard and wraps loose arms around you, a sweet and lazy gesture. 
Diego incites a passion in you that's rare. You can't recall ever wanting a person this much. So despite being sensitive from the absolute divinity of what he'd just done to you, you can't help but to jump off the counter. You reach for his pants, taking the time to feel his hard length under the fabric before you pop the button and unleash the teeth of the zipper. You pull them down just enough to free him from his boxers, and then turn yourself around to bend down against the damp counter you'd just been sitting on, looking at him through playful eyes in the mirror as he stares back, dick out and hesitant. He puts a cautious hand on your hip.
“No, not like this. I wanna see you.”
You meet his eyes in the mirror and tap on the glass with your good hand. He reaches for that arm and slowly turns you to face him.
“No baby,” he refutes, cradling your face in his strong hands, “I n-need to see you.”
So you nod, understanding that he needs this, and reposition yourself to lay on the small woven rug you kept on the floor. The bathroom floor is not the most comfortable place to lay, but this is for Diego and his peace of mind. You yield to his touch and his control over the situation as he finishes undressing and sinks down onto the floor to take his place above you. To indulge in the relief that you are okay, to bask in your gratefulness at how well he patched you up.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your neck as he kisses you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Because you got hurt? Because he needed more tenderness than you originally wanted to give him? Because earlier tonight he was so fucking afraid he’d never get to look into your face again that he has to look you in the eye when you make him come tonight? 
Your bandaged hand finds its way into his hair and holds him there, close, as your fingers go to work to massaging words of comfort into his scalp. He kisses your neck once, twice, three times before lining himself up with your entrance and pushing into your cunt. You're wet, so excruciatingly and devastatingly wet and god it almost hurts him to bottom out inside you the same way something so hot can almost feel cold when it touches your skin and puts your nerves into overdrive. You're so sensitive from his mouth that you have to bite into the skin of his broad shoulder to muffle the scream that rebels against you to break into the air. Your teeth in his skin is his only relief from the soft tight burning taking over him from where your bodies join. He only moves when your teeth recede, his thrusts slow and short and deep, savoring the feeling of being connected, of being inside, of being home. His arms hold you in place while he thrusts just as much as they hold you just to feel you against him at any point of connection he can find. A vow to keep you close, to keep you where you both need each other to be. He moans deeply into your neck, the side of your face, kissing the moan into your jaw like a promise. It's more real than any declaration of love and more spontaneous than any act of romance. It's Diego. 
You can feel yourself getting lost in this, in him. He's pushing you to the edge again. For you, one is too many, and a thousand is never enough with Diego. Its you selfishly moving your hips against the rhythm of his, making you both a little shocked but not embarrassed (never embarrassed) at how close you both are already. There's a desperation in both of your actions, and he pulls back just enough to see you, to let himself be seen by you. Only you. Is this what you look like when you make love after setting stitches in wounds that will definitely scar? You hope so, because he looks like heaven itself. He fucks you through your high (with a scream of his name and tears on your cheeks), fucks you through his own(with a stuttering chant of your name and deadly eye contact), then gives you one more with his mouth on the bathroom rug (with quiet whimpering and praise from both of your lips). Diego lifts you up on unsteady legs and you both tumble into bed. You sleep in late the next morning. You miss calls from his siblings that all go to voicemail. You're home safe.
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natromanxoff · 3 years ago
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Queen live at Elland Road in Leeds, UK - May 29, 1982 (Part-2)
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Fan Stories
“We got a coach from my home town (about 2 hours from memory) and drank an ocean of lager on the way, by the time we got there we needed the toilet so badly we could have exploded! We got into the stadium and waited for the first band of the day. Soon enough a not very well known (to me) American band came on called Heart. They weren't bad but did nothing for me. Then came The Teardrop Explodes who tried and who I reckoned did quite well despite the flying bottles of liquid being hurled at them from the crowd. After them was Joan Jett complete with Blackhearts who got the crowd going with "I Love Rock'n'Roll" mainly because Brian appeared at the side of the stage with his daughter to have a look. Eventually after a long wait the stage lights dimmed and a strange cranking sound started up and then you were suddenly aware of the drum beat to Flash thumping out and spotlights chasing around the stadium. This went on for a minute or so and the excitement was unbearable. All of a sudden in an explosion of smoke, lights, guitars, drums... Brian, John and Roger are there blasting out the opening part of The Hero. Seconds later in a gleaming white leather jacket out runs Freddie and it begins... A moment I will never forget along with many others from Queen shows since and before it. I can't say which show was my favourite as I loved them all but that moment WAS Queen, the sheer power, the anticipation, the fantastic musical ability and above all else the way they gave people what they crave more than anything... wonderful memories.” - whiteman
“29th May 1982 - a really nice warm day. We only lived a few miles away so walked down to Elland Road - I can't believe it - Queen live in my home town at the home of the greatest football team in the country (well maybe not now!). Got to the ground early and were allowed in by security, such a relaxed atmosphere. Saw band's soundcheck - great! So hot sun, never went behind stadium roofs. Got best suntan I have ever had! Heard Teardrop Explodes - not bad. Then you are aware of the beat of flash thumping out around the stadium, the smoke rises and bang - they are on! The greatest gig I have ever seen from the greatest live band in history. God bless you, Brian, Roger and John. Rest in peace, Freddie - we will never forget.” - Michael Quine
“This was my second ever gig, the first being Rory Gallagher the year before (I am sure I once read that Rory was one of Brian May's favourite guitarists). Anyway, being only 14 and not yet in the habit of getting off my face at gigs,I can remember that day very clearly. I am convinced I saw someone throw a hamburger at Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes were going down like a lead balloon), and just as Julian was opening his gob to sing, he CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH. A huge cheer went up, then they stomped off. Somebody, possibly Queen's manager, came on and told everbody to behave. I also remember a fan getting on stage and Freddie expertly rolling him off the stage. I didnt like the Hot Space album much but was chuffed they were still a hard rock band. I bought the next edition of Kerrang mag and the write up of the gig said STUNNING. Great memory.” - Edwin
“I was 15 years old in 1982 when I attended my first ever concert. Fortunately for me, it was QUEEN's show at Leeds AFC ground in the North of England. I remember when my ticket arrived in the post, possibly 2-3 months before the concert, as was often the case in those days. I stuck my ticket on a cork notice board in my bedroom and could barely contain my excitement over the coming weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and look at the yellow ticket, wishing the days away. I imagined everything that could go wrong would. Queen would cancel the gig, I would break my leg, the family pet would die on the morning of the concert and it would be too insensitive of me to go, the transport wouldn't turn up or would break down, there would be a pile up on the motorway, I'd lose my ticket en route, etc, etc. As it turned out, May 29th 1982 was a hot and sunny day, perfect weather for an outdoor gig. I was CRAZY about Queen and had been since the age of 9 but I really didn't know what to expect on that day. Myself and three friends took a coach organised by my Dad's company from Lancashire across the M62 motorway to Leeds. Our excitement began to really take a hold when we arrived at the football ground and we followed the droves of people towards the turnstiles. To me, this was something on a really big scale and I could already hear the hum of the crowd inside. Not really believing that we were actually about to witness a Queen concert, we found our seats on the West Stand, offering a great view of the stage. I remember marvelling at Queen's new lighting rig and the equipment that adorned the stage, shining in the afternoon sunshine. The ground was almost full at this point and the pitch was heaving with people. The atmosphere was relaxed as people bathed in the sunshine. I remember two guys climbing the fence from the stand and attempting to get a better spot by running into the crowd and losing themselves on the pitch. Their efforts were in vain however as they were quickly located and ejected back into the stand by two security guards. We bought some black Hot Space tour shirts (I wore mine with pride until it literally fell apart) and a programme from a vendor inside the ground and waited for the first band to take the stage. A guy near us shouted and punched his way through Heart's set and then left just as they vacated the stage. Obviously not a Queen fan! The Teardrop Explodes suffered at the hands of the Queen congregation and found themselves battling against a shower of bottles and assorted missiles. Other than that, I don't really remember much about the support bands. I think that Bow Wow Wow were billed to play (an odd choice) but I can't recall if they actually turned up. No matter, we were about to witness what is still one of the best gigs I have ever attended.
As the dusk descended upon us, the giant floodlights were extinguished one by one and the memory of the roar that followed still sends shivers down my spine. Dry ice drifted across the heads of the crowd on the pitch as the intro tape of Flash thumped out of the PA and the strange 'grating' noises added to the recording created a foreboding atmosphere. Two of our party were on the pitch and to this day remember their chests thumping in unison to the powerful rhythm. A sea of hands clapped in perfect time to the beat. To me, this was already an amazing experience. And then the big moment. Freddie, resplendent in dazzling white made his entrance to The Hero and the blaze of the lights. An apt number to start with. Before he had even sung a note, the audience were locked tightly in the palm of his hand. Such an entrance, such a showman. "You're a F***in amazing crowd", he exclaimed after the first rush. The beginning of the gig is, in truth, my strongest memory of the show itself. In particular, the "Flash!!!" vocals cutting through the night air with so much volume. I recall being shocked at the sheer power of Queen's performance and the clarity of the huge sound they harnessed. Morgan Fisher's keyboards during 'Action This Day' sounded bright and hypnotic. Freddie's intro to Fat Bottomed Girls caused quite a response too; "the bigger the t*t the better it is!". I also remember the follow spots darting wildly over the crowd during 'Tie Your Mother Down' and everybody going crazy. Oddly enough (and this is something I still swear by to this day), I was in a Maths lesson at school the following Monday and I swear I had a flashback of this and could actually 'hear' the music being re-played in my head. It was a weird moment and life was never quite the same again. We talked endlessly about our experience for months to come and one of my biggest regrets is not jumping on a train to attend the filmed Milton Keynes show a week later. Having been to so many gigs since, I can honestly say that there is nobody who has been able to top Queen live; I was lucky enough to see the band five times between 1982 and 1986, including Wembley Stadium and their last show at Knebworth. I think that my personal favourite was their performance at the NEC in Birmingham on 'The Works' tour in 1984. People were literally stood there with open mouths, unable to believe how good they were. Leeds is definitely up there too. I recall Brian May stating that he thought it was one of their best performances ever. I can't argue with that Mr May. I've often wondered if an audience shot cine film or even just photographs exist from the Leeds gig. It would be a dream come true to see my memories come to life again.” - Keith Lambert
“I can't believe it was 30 years ago that I attended my first ever gig at Elland Rd Leeds in 1982. I was 17 years old at the time, I was into Queen when I first heard seven seas of rhye, which was so different to all the other stuff around at the time. I'd heard them live on tv, and had Live Killers. Also I used to buy bootleg cassettes of all of their tours from 74 onwards. But nothing could prepare me for that day. They should have played this gig at Old Trafford Manchester, my home town, so I was gutted when the residents opposed it. Tickets were very easy to come by, believe it or not, cos Queen were not seen as a relevant band at that time. Also touring the Hot Space album didn't seem to excite anybody. So, Billy no mates had to go on his own, haha. My memory is a bit hazy, but I will try my best. I got to the ground about 1pm, and was lucky enough to have a pitch ticket. I got right to the front, well about 10 yards from the stage, slightly off centre and to the right. If I told you I never moved from that spot all day and never spoke to anyone, would you believe me? One of the reasons for this is the rivalry between Manchester and Leeds, also I was only a kid, haha. Not sure who was first on, probably Teardrop Explodes, Julian Cope, I remember while they were throwing bottles at him, picked one up and started hitting himself with it and stretching his arms out saying he was an Argentinian bomber or something. It was during the Falklands war, remember. Then Heart came on, not really my cup of tea, and I had a lie down on the tarpaulin and tried to go to sleep. Then Joan Jett, who was better than the rest, but not really exciting. During the band changes, I remember the roadies polishing Roger's drum kit and climbing up ropes and those threepronged lights, which before I saw them move I thought they were cameras. Queen took ages to come on. From my recollection and I might be wrong, they didn't come on until 10pm and went off around Midnight. I heard later that they got fined so much per minute for being late on stage but they wanted to wait until it was dark for the lighting rig to take effect. If you watch the Bowl DVD you will notice it was light when they came on stage there. But that was being filmed by Channel 4. But it was absolutely pitch black when they came on stage at Leeds. Then the floodlights went off, smoke started to appear and strange noises started, which I can't describe, sorry. Then Flash's Theme started, it was loud, very, very loud. I knew they were supposed to be loud and this was the part that scared me. The ground was thumping, the bass just pumping away. The these 'cameras' flicked into life, with men on them. The intro seemed to last for a very long time. Then BANG Brian appears with the first chord of The Hero and a flash of the biggest white light I've ever seen and will never forget and the absolute loudest noise I have ever heard just hit me. The intro was quite in comparrision to this. When I play Live at the Bowl, I tend to repeat the intro and The Hero, virtually every time, because it was definitely a life changing experience for me at that moment, just incredible. Then Freddie appeared in brilliant white again, I was that close, I swear His hair seemed blue because of the mass of white lights. His voice, so loud, so clear, honestly, I can't describe that moment properly. I heard Freddie swear, saw Roger spitting, quite a lot, over his drum kit and onto the stage, I was bewildered.
When they did Play The Game and also Somebody To Love, when Freddie was doing the intros for them and it will sound strange to those that weren't there, but I didn't know what the songs were. I thought they was new unreleased songs. The reason was they was so loud, It kind of deafened you and then kind of sunk in what they were about to play. Then the rest of the gig flew by and I was singing my head off. Everyone was, but you could only hear Queen. Again my memory may be wrong, but I read afterwards that Queen had paid for residents to move out of their homes for the day. These houses were monitored and they said that the sound was like Concorde flying 10 feet over your head... Yep I will buy that. For all that and for all the bad things said about it, The Works tour, which I went to all the 4 origional England gigs they had planned, was the best tour they ever did. The set list was fantastic and the lighting rig was incredible. Not as loud, I also add. I also saw them in Manchester, 86. They had to be off stage by 10pm and noise levels had to be adhered to. I was too far awy to see them and the screens didn't come on because it was too light. Also I couldn't here them properly. I've watched the mMagic Tour gigs on DVD etc, but for me, that was the poorest tour they ever did. So that's it, hopefully some of you can confirm my bad memory, or say I'm wrong. Hopefully not bored you all. But it was the greatest musical experience I ever witnessed and I am proud I was there.” - Paul Wakefield
Part-1
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ilovemesomekillianjones · 4 years ago
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Navigating the Storm (1/4)
Summary: Emma Swan navigates the aftermath of Neverland by trying to deal with everything the way she always has, by locking all her feelings away. Between having to share Henry with two other people now, her parents confession in the Echo Caves, her parents pushing her towards a man she has no interest in, and feelings for another man that she never expected to feel, Emma is at the end of her rope. *Post Neverland - No Curse*
Author’s Note:  Thank you to my friend @hollyethecurious for beta reading this story for me! I have had this written for about three months now and have finally put on the finishing touches. This is part 1 of 4 - I will post a chapter a week. Hope you guys enjoy!
Rated M          4.5K          ao3           ffnet          Under the cut, promise
It had been exactly two weeks since they’d stepped foot back in Storybrooke, since bringing Henry home safely from Neverland. Two weeks in which Emma Swan had had very few chances to just be, to just breathe. Each breath felt like it was choked by the need to scream or cry. Two weeks of restless nights and emotionally fraught days; parents urging her toward a man she did not want, her mom wanting a new baby, another mom wanting her baby, not that she held anything against Regina. Henry was as much Regina’s as he was hers, she knew that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t weigh heavily on her soul. And of course there was Neal, who had been an ever-present thorn in her side during the last two weeks. 
Emma wanted to blame everything on Neal, it would be so easy, but she couldn’t do that, there was rarely only one person to blame. She had to take some responsibility, too. He’d been bugging her about giving their relationship another shot, about putting aside the past to make a better future for Henry. Each time, Neal’s words would hit the solid mass of her thick skull and bounce right off, while simultaneously invoking a silent wrath in her being. What the everloving fuck was he thinking? How could the two of them being together be good for anyone? It didn’t help that her parents both still thought Neal was a saint. It didn’t help that each time they unwittingly made little comments about her giving him a chance, it felt like a little more of the world weighed on her shoulders. 
Each morning she dragged her feet getting out of bed, if only to delay dealing with the barrage of shit she didn’t want to hear about or deal with. Of course, if she was honest with herself, she’d admit the reason she was feeling like this was because she was effectively not dealing with any of it. But why choose now to be honest with herself, she’d been content to ignore every other issue she’d dodged in life, abandonment, intimacy, self-worth, why stop now?
Emma hadn’t felt emotional sadness like this since the days between finding out she was pregnant in prison and knowing she would have to give her baby up. Her body felt heavy, her mind felt clouded, and her soul was just… sad, there wasn’t a better word for it. She hated this feeling, and when the sadness became too overwhelming, anger often surged in, and no one needed an angry Emma Swan around. She loved her family and her family-by-extension, but she needed a break. 
As she walked toward Granny’s at a molasses slow pace, hands shoved in her jacket pockets, head down, where she was meeting her parents, Neal, Henry, and Regina for a late dinner, her eyes filled with tears. She struggled to inhale air past the lump forming in her throat. A deep anger rose within her, mostly because she was pissed at herself for wanting to cry. She didn’t know how to make everyone understand what she was feeling and why she was feeling it. No one had ever taught her the healing power of communication, while growing up in foster care. As the anger finally defeated the desire to cry, Emma Swan did what all responsible folks do and locked that shit up, deep inside where no one would see it. 
“I saved you a seat, Ems,” Neal offered as she entered the diner.
 “Yeah, look mom, right between me and dad,” Henry piped in.
Emma glanced at the six of them, one seat between Neal and Henry, no doubt by design and one seat at the other end of the table by her dad. “Uh, I have to discuss a case with David,” she lied. And boy did that make her feel like Shittiest Mom of the Year. “I’ll come back in a few.” 
Taking off her jacket, she sat next to her dad and began speaking with him about the new project they were working on to make Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department digital. There was truly nothing she needed to discuss with him right this instant, but she could not handle another manipulation by Neal, especially in front of Henry, about getting back together. 
“Why don’t you go sit with Henry and Neal,” David whispered, “we can discuss this tomorrow at work.”
Sucking in a deep breath to tamp down the edge of anger that started to creep up on her, Emma realized there was a silver lining here. At least he had whispered.
“I’m perfectly fine where I’m at,” she quietly replied, affecting a sense of calm she didn’t really feel.
“Oh, honey,” her mother began in what was not a whisper, “go sit down there, let me get a picture of the three of you.”
And just like that, there was another brick piled on her shoulders. She understood that her parents really did want what was best for her. Why couldn’t they just magically understand that Neal wasn’t it? She could hear Neal trying to coax her over and her head started to spin. She really did need that break.
As she choked on the sob that wanted to escape, the bell above the entrance rang, and if she’d never experienced what being saved by the bell meant, she was right now. “Hook,” she murmured, just a little more breathlessly than strictly necessary. 
“What?” Snow asked. 
“Hook’s here,” Emma said. “Why don’t you join us for dinner, Hook?” Emma called over to him. He was just the buffer she needed tonight. She didn’t miss the intrigue in his eyes, which he quickly masked with a conciliatory smile that didn’t quite reach those pretty blue eyes.
“While I appreciate the offer, I don’t wish to intrude,” he answered graciously.
“You’re not intruding, we were just sitting down to eat a meal. Everyone has to eat.”
“Well, if all of their Royal Highnesses don’t mind,” he acquiesced.
“Everyone scoot one seat to their right,” Emma instructed, she didn’t expect him to sit next to Neal, not with the current state of affairs. 
Snow stared at her daughter wide eyed and Emma just stared back through narrowed eyes, hoping that her expression conveyed, he did save your husband’s life.
“Ems, I thought you were going to sit with me and Henry,” Neal asked, failing to mask the irritation in his voice.
And I thought I was meeting you with the bag of watches, not the cops, Emma thought bitterly. If Neal was going to use Henry against her, he was going to be sorry. She wasn’t going to stoop to the level of using a child to get what she wanted, but she was also not going to be bulldozed by her ex.
“That’s okay, dad,” Henry intervened. “Mom can sit with her friend. How’s the fastest ship in all the realms, Captain?”
Emma beamed at her son’s cherubic nature. He was truly good. He was innocent and perfect, and she felt like she might cry again as her young son saved her again.
“She’s jolly good, m’boy,” Hook answered merrily, obviously tickled that Henry had asked about his pride and joy. Or maybe it was simply because this boy treated him with common courtesy. Hook had vowed to himself to turn over a new leaf when he’d turned his ship around to help Emma save her son, and although he knew that, most people still treated him like the pirate they’d known him to be. 
“You okay, Swan?” Hook asked her quietly, as conversation started up around the table.
“I- yeah,” she said, slapping on a smile, and even though it was an effort to smile, she found that she wanted to smile for Hook. She also found that he knew she was lying. 
“If you ever want to talk about it, I’ve a never ending supply of rum aboard the Jolly.” 
“I might just take you up on that,” she laughed. And it felt really good to laugh. 
“I thought you said you’d back off,” Neal seethed as he walked over to their end of the table.
Emma looked between the two men before quietly sounding a warning. “We do not need another pissing contest here,” she hissed.
“Contest,” Neal fumed. “There is no contest, I’m Henry’s father, he’s a home-wrecking pirate.”
Emma’s head began to swim again as she listened to Neal berate Hook, as she read between the lines of what he’d said. He felt like he deserved her because they bore a child together. 
“Is everything okay?” David asked.
Emma closed her eyes and weakly shook her head no. She would lose it if her parents got involved.
“Here Neal, why don’t you take my seat,” Snow offered.
Emma shook her head no again, but apparently no one was looking at her. 
“Haven’t you destroyed enough lives?” Neal asked.
Emma’s eyes shot open and she’d hit just about her limit. Her throat felt like it was almost swollen shut as that urge to scream or cry or both, came raging back. 
“Haven’t you done enough damage, Hook?”
“Bae-” Hook started
“Stop calling me that!” 
“Neal,” Hook corrected, “it is not my intent to come between you and Emma. I was merely accepting the invitation she offered. I did say I would back off, I didn’t say I would ignore Emma if she requested my company.”
“Back off from what?” Emma asked, feeling a little annoyed that they’d been discussing her like a - she didn’t know what.
“Swan, I merely told Ba- Neal that I would not interfere if you two decided to pursue a chance at a family with Henry.”
“I think that is very noble, Hook,” Snow inserted. 
“Not now, mom.”
“Well Emma, it’s only fair that you two have a real shot, now that you’ve been reunited,” Snow argued, “and I was just saying that I think it’s noble of Hook to put his feelings for you aside to give you and Neal that chance.”
That was it, that was her limit. Chances? Reunited? FAIR? The lights flickered twice before pitching Granny’s in darkness. Emma stood up and placed both her palms flat down on the table.
“Regina,” Emma said in a ragged voice, barely containing her emotions, which she desperately wanted to contain with Henry present. “Take him home, please.”
“Come on, Henry. I have lasagna at home,” Regina said, without having to be asked again. She could feel the energy of the situation sizzling about, and she knew only too well the magical properties of raw emotion. Of course Henry instinctively knew to listen as well. “Granny’s is closed,” Regina announced, “Mayor’s orders.”  
The several patrons around had the good sense to slap some money on the counter and head out. 
“I love you, mom. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Henry said as he and Regina readied to leave. He came to her end of the table and gave her a hug.
“I love you too, kid,” Emma responded as she ruffled Henry’s hair, and the lights flickered back to life. 
Once Henry and Regina were gone, Emma eyed her parents. She tried breathing in and out slowly. She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t want to hurt them, she didn’t want to cry. But something had to give. 
“Mom, Dad,” she whispered, as she knew her voice would crack if she attempted to speak in a normal voice. “I’ve been having a really-” a broken sob overtook Emma, halting her words. Her face crumbled, tears filling her eyes and falling to her cheeks, as the full weight of what she’d been dealing with overwhelmed her.
“Oh honey,” Snow cried as she stood up to try and comfort her daughter.
Emma held up a hand and shook her head no at her mother. “Please… don’t. I have to do this.”
Snow’s face fell as her daughter rejected her, but she sat back down to comply with her daughter’s wishes.  
“Go on, Emma,” her father said quietly.
Nodding her head, she took another big breath. “I’ve been having a really hard time since we came back from Neverland. I’m happy that you want a new baby, I am, but it also hurt to hear that you wanted to have a chance to experience everything we never got to, and I know that’s not your fault, but it still hurts. And I am happy that Henry has Regina, because no matter what, she really does love him. But it hurts to have to share him with her when we have a third person to share him with now, it’s less time, when I’ve already missed so much.”
“It wouldn’t be if you spent time with me and Henry,” Neal muttered.
“Goddammit, Neal!” Emma yelled, pounding her fists on the table. “You have got to stop that. I’m struggling with my parents wanting a new baby and I am struggling with sharing Henry with you. But my biggest problem, the one that eats away at me every day, is you! I can’t stand the way you try to manipulate me in front of my son, making it seem like I’m the only reason we can’t be a family. You showed up to Storybrooke with a fiancée, don’t act like you came back here to win me over or some other noble bullshit. And I can’t stand that my parents think you should be my happy ending.” Another sob choked her words and she paused to catch her breath. “You will never be my happy ending,” she yelled before leaving the diner. 
Emma jogged down the walkway, unsure of where to go, but knowing she couldn’t remain in there one second longer. She didn’t want to see the looks she’d put on her parents’ faces anymore and she didn’t want to deal with Neal. After an hour of wandering, she found herself down by the icy cold shoreline. She sat down in the freezing sand and folded her arms around her legs. Resting her chin on her knees, she lamented the fool she’d made of herself and the mess she’d made of things. 
“Awfully cold for camping at the beach,” Hook said.
Emma jumped so hard, it hurt her butt when she landed back in the unforgiving sand. “Jesus Christ, you scared me. Are you following me?”
“Sorry, love,” Hook apologized, holding hand and hook in the air as he always did when she went on the offensive. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. And no, I am not following you. I was up on the deck of my ship and saw your golden hair in the moonlight; wanted to make sure you don’t catch your death out here.” He handed her a blanket. 
“Thank you,” she said through chattering teeth, only now realizing just how cold it was. “You probably need to invest in some warmer clothes if you’re planning to stay in Storybrooke for the winter.”
“Is that an invitation, Swan?”
She just rolled her eyes as she held her hand out to him to help her up. 
“Don’t worry your heart, I am plenty hot,” he flirted, extending his hand and pulling her up.
“You are plenty full of yourself is what you are,” she laughed. “I don’t know why I ended up here. I just… I cannot go home. I should probably see if Granny has a room available. Paying her some rent is the least I could do after clearing out her customers.”
Hook scratched behind his ear, his nervous habit that always made Emma chuckle inside, because how did The Captain Hook have a nervous tic? 
“You could stay on the Jolly, if you like. You know, instead of walking back to Granny’s.” 
“Is that an invitation, Hook?” Emma countered.
“Actually, it is,” he said as he bowed deeply, holding his right hand out in the direction of his ship.  
She decided it was probably her best option for the night. She didn’t want to see her parents at the loft, she definitely didn’t want to risk running into Neal at Granny’s, and she was far too proud to ask Regina for a crash pad. So, she followed the direction of Hook’s extended hand and headed to the Jolly. 
“Thank you,” she mumbled as they headed down into the Captain’s Quarters. It was only slightly warmer below deck, and she wondered how cold he got at night. 
“Perhaps a little gratitude is in order,” he smirked, pointing his finger to his lips as he had done several weeks ago.
Emma didn’t even have to think about it this time. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and backing him up against the wall. She kissed him just as passionately as she had back on that Hell Island, but this time, she had no intent of limiting their activities to just a kiss.
“Swan,” he moaned against her mouth.
“Hmmm?” she hummed as she continued to learn his mouth and his tongue which had come out to play. 
She loved the way his hook felt pressed at her back and the way his hand cupped her cheek before sliding into her hair. She took the opportunity to quickly run her hands up through his chest hair before shifting them up under his jacket to divest him of it. 
“Swan, stop,” he whispered between kisses. “Stop, darling.”
Emma immediately pulled back. Like, what? “What’s the problem,” she asked defensively.
“I apologize lass, it was a poorly timed Neverland reference.”
“A… joke?” Emma’s head began spinning again. One million thoughts ran through her head as her brows furrowed and panic hit her eyes. Her mouth turned down as a strangle hold settled over her... rejection. She’d had one melt down and now she was damaged goods in his eyes. A one time thing, she’d said, and he was the one who was going to enforce it. “I have to go,” she muttered, mind already on auto pilot to the lovely land of orphans-aren’t-worthy-of-love. 
Killian quickly blocked her path to the door. Bad move. 
“Get. Out. Of. My. Way,” she seethed. “You don- don’t want me...”  Oh fuck, she panicked, the tears were going to start again. When would this roller coaster come crashing to a halt? Emma Swan, Dumpster Fire, she mused, it had a truer ring than Emma Swan, Savior. 
“Don’t you tell me what I want or do not want,” Hook reprimanded. “I want you, I have wanted you, far more and far longer than you know.” He stepped into her space and lifted her chin with his hook, until she had no choice but to look into his eyes. “Make no mistake about that, love.” A fire burned between them, something palpable, and only by sheer force of will, was Hook denying himself the pleasure she’d been looking to bring him mere moments before. 
Truth. Truth is what she saw in Hook’s eyes. “Then why are you pushing me away,” she asked, lips still quivering with the threat of tears.
“Because I won’t exploit your emotions, that would be the pinnacle of bad form.”
“What?” 
Hook took her hand and led her to sit on his bed. “Emma, you just confessed major hurt and heartache to your parents. You obviously have unresolved issues with Bae, and you’re harboring a sadness that is ruling your emotions. Despite Neverland and everything that happened there, I have never seen you this close to the brink of despair.” 
A tear slipped down as Hook brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “Look at me, Emma.” 
She sniffled, but complied, as she realized he was not going to continue until she looked at him. 
“You are strong, and you will get through this, but a quick romp in the sack is not part of the solution. I cannot in good conscience let you lead us down a path that you will undoubtedly regret. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.”
“If I don’t get to tell you what you do or don’t want, then you shouldn’t get to tell me what I will or won’t regret,” she huffed.
Hook smiled at the fire that lit his Swan, and continued on, “I did promise Bae that I would back off, I thought it was best for Henry, if it was what you wanted as well.”
“I don’t want that,” Emma interrupted. 
“I know you don’t want that. Tonight made that clear,” he assured her. “But tonight also showed that you have some things to work out. I am here for you, Emma, and no matter what our future holds, I will stand by your side and help you traverse all of it. But where matters of our hearts are concerned, I cannot be your port in this storm if you only plan to pack up and set sail when the tide calms and the tempest parts.”
Tears surged forth once more as she lunged at Hook again, but this time just to throw herself into his embrace. She didn’t even know why she was crying, but she knew that this, him, everything he’d just said, this was what she needed. Someone to stand by her side, someone to accept her for her, someone who knew that she had shitty baggage but was okay with it and wanted to help her lighten her load. “I just want to forget, I want five minutes where I don’t feel like everything is closing around me like a vice.” 
“That’s it lass, everything is going to be okay, I promise,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. “Let it out, crying can be quite cathartic when you let it.” 
Emma cried a little harder as she listened to his soothing voice. She sat up many moments later when she’d cried herself out. Wiping away her tears, she looked at the man next to her. “How did you get so wise,” she asked in a nasally, I’ve-been-crying voice.
“How’s that?”
“About crying being cathartic.”
“Ah,” Hook chuckled as he blushed a bit. “You pick up some things as the centuries pass. I may have learned that sometimes letting out pent up emotion is better than harbouring it until it blows up.” 
“Thank you, Killian,” she whispered, before leaning in and tenderly placing a chaste kiss to his lips.
“You called me Killian.”
The bit of awe in his eyes made Emma giggle. “That is your name, isn’t it?”
“Aye, but you know what I mean, love,” he chuckled with her.
She laughed again until she was caught in a yawn that wracked her whole body. 
“Let me get you something to sleep in.” Hook went to an antique armoire and pulled out one of his shirts and a pair of long johns. “These should keep you warm.” After handing them to her, he placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll let you get some rest, no doubt your day has been taxing.” Then he turned to leave. 
Before he could make it to the door, Emma reached out to grab his hook. He turned around to see what she needed.
“Will you stay with me?”
His eyes pleaded with her not to tempt him into breaking his word. His good form. 
“I promise I won’t jump your bones, sailor.” She rolled her eyes playfully, but then she glanced away and folded her arms around herself, a vulnerability encasing her whole form before she spoke again. “I just want you to hold me,” she whispered. 
His chest ached for her, for this tender side of Emma Swan that he’d never been privy to. Why would he ever deny her something as simple as holding her? “Of course, love.” After changing into something passable for sleep attire, he joined Emma in his bed. 
“I know this is going to sound sappy, but today, at Granny’s, when you showed up, I was on the brink of losing my mind,” Emma confessed as she lay snuggled against his side, his right arm wrapped around her, making her feel safe. “But when I saw you, I felt like… like I might be able to get through it, like everything would be okay, if only you were with me. That’s why I asked you to stay.”
“And did it help, having me there?”
“All I know is, even though I didn’t say everything I need to get off my chest, I did get through part of it, and I am glad you were there.” 
“Happy to oblige, darling.” Hook craned his neck forward to place a kiss to the crown of her head. 
Pulling the blankets up to her neck, Emma shivered. “Give me your other arm, you’re warmer than these blankets.” 
“My hook,” he said, holding up the shiny version of his moniker. “I wouldn’t want to accidentally harm you.” 
“Then take it off,” Emma responded as though it were the most obvious answer in the world.
“I don’t think so, love.”
“Why not?” she asked, sitting up to look at him.
Hook took advantage of his freed arm and scrubbed his hand over his face. “It’s not a sight I wish you to see, it’s actually quite revolting.”
“I don’t believe for a second that any part of Killian Jones is revolting,” Emma said, gently pulling his left arm toward her. 
“Swan,” he groaned.
“Killian, you saw me at my most vulnerable today, and you didn’t run for the hills. I won’t either,” she promised softly. “I don’t think you understand that what I like about you is this,” she placed her hand over his heart, “the man you are.” 
Killian placed his hand over hers, where it rested on his chest and brought it to his brace. “Okay then, go ahead.” 
Carefully unfastening the buckles, Emma pulled the entire brace away from his arm. She held his forearm in one hand and ran the fingers of her other hand over the scarred flesh, inspecting the damage. Although Hook was right, it wasn’t a “pretty” sight, it wasn’t nearly as bad as he would have had her believe. “Does it still hurt?”
“Aye, sometimes.”
She delicately massaged in a downward motion, from his forearm to the end of his wrist, and watched his face. He wasn’t making eye contact with her, but rather, watching her ministrations. He looked half panic stricken, like he might bolt, and half enchanted by her touch. She followed the pattern several times until he’d fully relaxed to her touch. “See, was that so bad?”
Hook’s face was a deep shade of red and his entire body had broken out in goosebumps. He didn’t know how to answer her question. He had never willingly let another person see his mutilated arm, let alone touch it. On one hand, it was that bad, he felt laid bare before her and he was still dressed. On the other hand, or hook, as it were, he felt something akin to what she had explained earlier, like he would be okay, because she was there. “I suppose not,” he murmured, all the more enamored by this enchanting woman.
“Good.” Laying back down, she wrapped both his arms around her and snuggled into him. “Much better.” Emma slept better that night than she had since they’d come home from Neverland. 
Tagging some lovelies - please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!
@laschatzi @qualitycoffeethings @hookedonapirate @wordsmith-storyweaver @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @wyntereyez @hooklineandswan @teamhook @let-it-raines @whimsicallyenchantedrose @spartanguard  @tiganasummertree@apromisednightcap  @xemmaloveskillianx @elizabeethan @cocohook38 @optomisticgirl @darkcolinodonorgasm @jennjenn615 @timeless-love-story @girl-in-a-tiny-box @thesschesthair @galadriel26 @ultraluckycatnd @lifeinahole27 @therooksshiningknight @kday426 @djlbg @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @lfh1226-linda @delightfully-difficult-pirate @thejollyswan @csalltheway @xarandomdreamx @vvbooklady1256 @withheartfulloflove @resident-of-storybrooke @mcakers @gingerchangeling @searchingwardrobes @snowbellewells
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whitesparrows97 · 4 years ago
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Head In The Clouds
Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader
Genre: Strangers to Lovers AU
Summary: When things get too much at home, you book a flight to the other end of the world to escape your thoughts for a few days. The fact that you meet a handsome stranger on this flight, who distracts you from the intrusive thoughts of your ex-boyfriend, is more than convenient. So far off the ground, it’s only a matter of time before feelings and desires run high and one thing leads to another.
Warnings: Explicit sexual content including fingering in public, risk of discovery, protected vaginal sex, light choking, being insecure after sex
Word Count: 9.1K
Author’s note: Hi! After getting your positive feedback to post this, I’m doing just that. I get that at times like right now, getting away as easily as in this story is not possible and being stuck at home can be difficult. But I hope that this story helps at least a little bit to take your minds off things for a little while! 
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You had to get away. You hadn’t cared about where, as long as you brought as much distance between you and your boyfriend as possible. Ex-boyfriend, you corrected yourself in your thoughts. This addition still felt strange to even think. The last five years had been a waste of time. In retrospect, all the energy and time you had put into the relationship would have been better spent on something else, something better. Something better, that’s what he had said to you as well when you caught him with another woman doing it on the kitchen counter. You had to suppress the gag reflex that was building up inside you when the image of the two of them came back to your mind. 
Maybe it had been the first shock, but maybe you were just too naive, too gullible and that was why you hadn’t turned 180 degrees at that sight and left your ex-boyfriend behind without any further explanation. Because did it even need that? An explanation? It had been more than clear what had happened and actually you should have be above it all. Actually, you should have rolled your eyes and left after the first desperate attempts of your ex-boyfriend to explain what happened. But you just weren’t like that. Unlike him, you wanted to give both of you another chance. 
She is simply better than you. 
This sentence echoed in your head for weeks now and it was almost comforting. Had you made a mistake at work? Well, others were just better than you. Did you argue with your parents again because you were supposedly not helping enough in the household? So what, you just couldn’t keep up with your siblings’ diligence. Another reason why you had to go away for a few days. You had shared the apartment with your ex-boyfriend and finally found some of your pride again. So two days later, when you knew he was at work, you had packed your stuff together and moved back in with your parents for a while. You hadn’t been aware of how difficult it was to live at home again after living alone for so long. As grateful as you were to them for taking you back in this situation of need, you just wanted to have your peace and quiet after work.
You sighed with exhaustion as you dropped into the waiting area of the terminal and put your backpack on the seat next to you. Getting here at all had been almost impossible. Your mother had tried for hours to convince you that such hasty decisions would never end well and that you would be homesick by the time the flight started. But to get homesick, you needed a place you could call home. Your ex-boyfriend had taken all that from you when he threw away your five years of relationship. He had taken that feeling of familiarity with him. Since then, everything seemed dull, somehow strange. You even watched your own reflection, wondering if that was really you. If you were the mistake, the reason why your ex-boyfriend had cheated on you. 
You are not spontaneous enough. I feel like we’re already eighty and have been married for sixty years. The relationship is in a rut. 
Whether that was the reason why you were now bouncing your leg up and down in excitement and nervously looking at the screen of your phone to see what time it was, you didn’t know. You were doing exactly what your ex-boyfriend had criticized you for and you had the feeling that you were still being controlled by him. He had determined the last five years of your life, it had to end now. After all, he had put an end to it months ago. 
You listened to the announcements of the staff echoing through the airport while you waited for the boarding to begin. You had arrived at the airport too early as usual, which was a miracle when you thought back to all the discussions with your mother, who had tried to persuade you to stay. But a few days somewhere else would probably not only do you good, but also your parents. It must have been difficult for them too to share the house with you again. But it was almost destiny when you saw the post on Facebook of a friend of your family who was subletting his apartment. He had bought a vacation apartment in Sweden years, if not more than a decade ago. Maybe that was why your mother had given in at some point because she knew the friend well and knew that you were in good hands there. And it was only for a few days. A few days in which you hopefully would find yourself again and were able to organize your thoughts. 
You stared into the distance as countless thoughts flashed through your head and you watched the many planes landing and taking off, which you could observe through the countless windows. That was why you missed the glances of a young man who had sat down in a seat opposite you. You crossed your legs so that you wouldn’t bounce your leg up and down anymore and tried to relax a bit. It was the first time you flew alone. In the past your parents were always there, later either your ex-boyfriend or your friends. During the last hours you hadn’t had time to think about what could go wrong. But now that you were alone in the terminal waiting for your flight and had nothing to do but exactly that, waiting, you had time to think. You had forgotten in your hurry that flying meant mainly waiting. You arrived hours earlier, only to either queue up in rows, waiting for the plane to be ready to take off or for you to finally arrive at your destination. Oh, how nice it would be if you could teleport. 
Again, a soft sigh escaped you as you watched the people around you to see with whom you would spend the next hours. It was strange, you didn’t know each other and spent hours with them in the most confined space. You shared the toilet with strangers and even fell asleep next to each other. That was more than you could say about your first boyfriend back then. Your gaze lingered on a young man, about your age, who was sitting directly opposite you. He wore a face mask, so that half of his face was covered. His gaze was on his phone, which he held in one hand, and he seemed to be listening to music through the headphones that were in his ears as he gently bobbed his head up and down. 
Your eyes wandered further down over the dark green hoodie and the torn jeans, which gave you an excellent view of his naturally tanned skin on his knees. You looked up again and your heart almost stopped as you looked straight into the eyes of the stranger. Quickly you looked to the side and you felt your cheeks getting hot with embarrassment as you realized that he had caught you checking him out more than obviously. You felt his gaze on you and tried to ignore the urge to look back at him and see if you were right with your feelings or just imagined it. It was worth a try, it was unlikely that he was still looking at you. Right? He probably had a short laugh and then turned back to his music. 
You risked it and your gaze quickly slipped to the stranger and back again. Nope, he still stared at you and if you had seen it right in the hurry, he grinned. At least if you interpreted it correctly, how his eyes had formed into small crescents, the rest was still hidden under the mask. You cleared your throat because you had the feeling that a lump had formed in your throat. With numb fingers you fished your phone out of your pocket again and tried to distract yourself with social media while you still could. Once you were in the air, you had to rely on your book, which you had packed especially for the flight. 
You could feel how you relaxed a bit when you turned your focus and concentration away from the man’s stare. For the next few minutes, you continued absent-mindedly scrolling through your Instagram feed, which felt like it was repeating every day before your flight was finally announced and boarding began. When you looked up and tried to grab your backpack, you unconsciously took a quick glance at the seat opposite you. Your heart sank when you realized that it was empty.
And that was exactly the reason why you could never meet new people. You have had the perfect opportunity to talk to him. After all, you already had his attention, and a quick chat before the flight would probably not have been a bad idea. Just to calm down your thoughts, which just shot through the ceiling again at the upcoming flight.
You were a little angry at yourself for blowing this chance when you lined up to get on the plane. You forced a smile when you held your phone on the scanner and shuffled after the other passengers as the employee wished you a good flight and you thankfully put your phone back in your pocket. Although you had booked the flight so spontaneously, you were even able to get a seat by the window. You couldn’t imagine sitting for hours in the aisle or worse, in the middle. You needed the comfort you felt that at least on one side you had no one sitting next to you or constantly passing you. 
As you walked through the narrow corridor looking for your seat, you noticed that the plane in general, fortunately, did not seem to be too crowded. But what did you expect for one of the last flights of the day and in the middle of the week? Maybe you were lucky and the two seats next to you would be free so you had a little more room to perhaps even lie down. You had a busy day, which was very beneficial to you because you would probably fall asleep soon and sleep through most of the flight. This was the only good way to spend such a long flight. 
Almost at the end of the plane you finally spotted your seat number. As you lowered your eyes, you could see familiar brown, slightly tousled hair looking over the seat of the row in front of you. Your breath faltered when you realized who was sitting directly in the seat next to yours. Before you could think too much, he had looked up from his phone when he noticed you standing hesitantly in the aisle in front of the row of seats. 
“Oh, are you sitting here?” he asked and gestured to the seat next to him, which he was currently blocking. 
You smiled apologetically and nodded. “Sorry, if I had known that someone was sitting next to me, I would have gotten in line earlier.” You watched him stand up and duck his head so he wouldn’t bump his head. 
But he waved his hand in reassurance. “No problem, I could have got on later as well.” He threw you a smile again, which you at least interpreted as one. You wondered if you would ever see his face without a mask. You took a step back to give him enough room and tried not to let your surprise show when you noticed how much he towered over you. But maybe it just seemed that way in the small space when you looked up to him intimidated when he was standing right in front of you. “There you go,” he said, and made a broad arm movement into the row of seats and you had to laugh softly as he bowed to you. You almost felt as if you were getting into a luxury limousine and not letting yourself fall on the sat through seat in economy class of an airplane. 
He also sat down again on the seat next to you while you tried to make the very limited space you had available for the next hours as comfortable as possible. You felt his eyes on you again and looked up with curiosity. It seemed as if he had been caught before he regained his composure and his gaze glided to the backpack that you were still holding between your legs. “Do you need help with that?” he asked with a nod in that direction, “I can put it in the top storage for you. You don’t need to be afraid to ask if you need it again,” he explained to you immediately when he noticed your hesitation. 
You thought briefly about his offer. It would certainly be more comfortable if you had a bit more legroom and could stretch your legs a bit every now and then. And if he already offered that you could always ask him if you needed something from your backpack, he really didn’t seem to mind. So you accepted his offer with a smile. When you handed your backpack to him, your fingers brushed against each other and you had to suppress a pleasant shiver. 
Quickly you leaned back in your seat and stared intently out the oval window, hoping that he didn’t notice your awkwardness too much. 
What was the probability that your seat was next to his? Even though you had never been very good at math in school, even you knew that the probability was very low. Either fate was particularly fond of you and gave you a second chance after you screwed up the first one. Or it laughed at you and wanted to see you suffer, because you were probably thinking of nothing else but the attractive man next to you for the next few hours. You watched out of the corner of your eye as he pulled down the table in front of him and put his laptop on it. Okay, good. He seemed to be busy and had no intention of keeping the conversation going. That was convenient for you and you were by no means disappointed because you wanted to know more about him. No, that would be strange. He had just been friendly, that was all. 
In order to stop sitting oddly next to him, you reached for your book and turned to the page where you had stopped. You still had a good two-thirds to go and, even if you couldn’t get a wink of sleep, you definitely wouldn’t be able to finish it. The reading did you good, it distracted you from the turbulent start and the warmth radiated from the man next to you. Every line more you read, pulled you further and further into the spell of the story. You did not know how much time had passed, but when you looked up, your neck hurt, which had been bent down all the time. You groaned softly and rubbed your neck to release the tension. Then you heard a soft laugh next to you that made you look to the side. 
“Murakami, huh?” he asked without taking his eyes off his laptop screen. “I understand why you were so absorbed in the book.”
Surprised, you stared at him and unconsciously stroked the cover of the book. “Have you read any of his books?” Your gaze slipped further down and only now did you realize that he had taken off his mask. It was almost unfair how good-looking he was. How his dark red lips curled up into a little laugh or his jaw, over which you would love to let your finger slide. You didn’t even want to begin with his delicate nose, on which sat round glasses with a filigree frame.
He nodded and turned his gaze from the monitor to you. “A few?” he asked almost shocked, “Almost all of them, and let me tell you, there are not exactly a few,” he laughed and you couldn’t hold back your smile. “Is this your first book by him?”
You nodded, somewhat embarrassed. He seemed to know so much about the author while you were still stuck on page 250 of the first book. “That obvious?”
He shrugged his shoulders and let himself fall into the seat where he had previously leaned forward to see the screen better. “1Q84 is probably the first book of many by Murakami. Do you like his writing style?” You hesitated a bit, you didn’t want to spoil it by criticizing his possibly favorite author. But he seemed to notice your hesitation and had to laugh. “You can be honest, I think he’s written better books than this series.”
“Oh, really? Which one do you recommend?”
“Definitely Kafka on the shore,” he said without batting an eyelid. “A friend of mine is also enthusiastic about Hard-Boiled Wonderland, but to be honest I never really enjoyed it much.” His eyes fell on the book you were still holding tightly on your lap. “But read the other two books from the series first.”
Slightly surprised, you raised your eyebrows. “What, there are more parts to the story?”
He laughed softly and you watched him as his slim, long fingers reached for the laptop and slowly closed it. “People are always surprised because they only know the first book,” he said more to himself than to you, before he turned towards you and smiled at you. “I am Hoseok.” He held out his hand to you and you gladly took it. 
“Y/N,” you introduced yourself and his smile grew a bit wider. 
„Nice to meet you, Y/N,“ he said and his brown eyes almost burned into you as he looked at you. His hand held yours for a moment longer before he let go and looked to the side. Only now could you breathe again. You didn’t know what it was about him, but you felt your own heartbeat rushing in your ears, which even drowned out the roar of the turbines. “Are you staying in Sweden, or is this a stopover for you?”
You were taken aback for a moment that he was still seeking the conversation. “Oh, I’m staying in Sweden. An acquaintance has a vacation apartment there and I just wanted to get out for a while.”
“Ah, how nice,” he sighed, “And I completely understand, sometimes you get a little stir-crazy, right?”
You hummed in agreement. “Especially when you moved back in with your parents. How did you put up with them as a teenager?”
Hoseok laughed. “As much as you love them, but what’s the saying? Everything in moderation.” You felt his gaze on you and sensed that he was assessing whether he could ask the next question or should keep it to himself. He decided on the former. “May I ask how you ended up living at home again?”
You sighed, did you really want to tell a stranger your worries and problems? You decided on a short version, you did not want to bore him right after a few minutes of conversation. “Long story, actually. In short, I shared an apartment with my boyfriend, sorry, ex-boyfriend. He cheated on me and I didn’t find a new apartment in a hurry. That’s why I have to live with my parents again. But probably better than living on the street.”
“Okay, wow,” he said after your monologue and you already regretted having opened your mouth at all. “You moved out even though he cheated on you?”
Oh, that was not the reaction you were expecting. “Yeah, I couldn’t kick him out of the apartment and I didn’t want to live with him anymore.”
“Understandably,” Hoseok added, “but if I had been in your place, I would have put his things on the street and changed the locks. Oh, what am I saying? I would have thrown his belongings right out of the window, so he would have had to pick them up himself from the sidewalk.”
You laughed at his statement. “You’re right, but I just wanted to get away at that moment.” Your smile disappeared as quickly as it had come. All that remained was a frown. 
“Cheating sucks, I hate people who do this to their partner,” Hoseok continued the conversation, which had briefly drifted into an oppressive silence. 
“Me too,” you agreed with a sigh. But then you were seized with courage. You had told him something intimate that you had hardly told anyone before, except your closest friends and your parents. And that was the only reason you asked the next question. “What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”
He smiled, almost embarrassed and briefly avoided your gaze. “I work a lot, to be honest,” he began to explain and pointed to his laptop, “My last girlfriend didn’t handle it so well that I didn’t have that much time. Instead of making her a priority, I mistakenly thought she had to accept that work comes first.” He glanced around briefly as if he remembered a moment from the past that was hidden from you. Then he pulled himself together again and gave you a warm, sincere smile. “Now I know better.”
“Relationships are complicated,” you said, putting your book aside. On the one hand, to suggest to Hoseok that you wanted to keep talking to him, and on the other hand, to stop your fingers from continuing to play nervously with the cover, which was already beginning to peel off. 
“Not with the right person,” Hoseok contradicted you and winked at you. He winked at you. Your jaw almost dropped at the sight of it, and you pulled yourself together to keep your facial features in place as best you could while you frantically searched for an answer. 
“It’s just not so easy to find the right person,” you admitted shyly, playing with your fingers because the book was out of reach.
“Well, maybe they’re closer than you think,” you heard Hoseok say next to you, and as the words left his mouth, your gaze shot back to him, which you had previously fixed on your thigh. He grinned at you before he opened his laptop without another word and continued working on his project. 
Should you say something? You didn’t want to interrupt him at work, but you didn’t want your conversation to end either. As you wrestled with yourself further whether you should speak to him or not, the grin grew on Hoseok’s face, which you didn’t even notice, so much you were absorbed in thought. So you flinched slightly when you suddenly felt a hand on your chin that gently turned your head in his direction. You looked at Hoseok with big eyes, completely taken aback by the sudden touch. 
“Your ex-boyfriend was a complete idiot for cheating on someone like you. I wonder how he could think that he could find someone better like you. Don’t let an idiot like him fuck up your confidence. I’ve only known you for a short time, but you seem like an incredible woman who deserves so much more in life than that.” He threw a sad smile at you, and you wondered if he had experienced something similar. “I see how insecure you are, and of course I don’t know if this is related to that or maybe it’s because of me. But let me tell you one thing quite openly from man to woman: You are incredibly attractive, smart, have a good sense for books,” you laughed softly at this comment, “and you’re an excellent partner in conversation. I’m glad I’m sitting next to you and not next to Elizabeth, who had been telling me non-stop about her terrific son Jasper on my last flight.”
You couldn’t hold back your laughter and Hoseok let go of your chin before he joined in your laughter. “Well, then, Hoseok, your standards are very low.” You remembered a sentence that almost got lost in his short monologue. “Besides, it’s not because of you that I’m so insecure. I mean, a little bit. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Who wouldn’t get nervous? But I’m not uncomfortable with you, if that’s what you meant.”
Hoseok grinned at your words and only now did you realize what you had just said. “So you find me attractive?”
Confused, you pulled your eyebrows together. “Are you serious?” You didn’t know whether he was just playing with you and trying to get you to come out of your shell, or whether he was really a little insecure. So you decided not to tease him, but to be honest. You had nothing to lose anyway. “If it makes you happy, you’re just my type.”
“I see,” Hoseok said, and you watched him as his gaze flitted across your face and finally caught on your lips for a moment. You took a deep breath as you looked back at Hoseok, the unspoken question hanging between you. The passenger compartment had calmed down a bit, most people were focused on their books, magazines or laptops and some had already prepared for sleep. When you looked past Hoseok for a moment, you noticed that it had become almost dark outside. Dark blue changed to black and there was hardly anything else but darkness. 
Hoseok embraced your face and immediately your attention was back on him. He slowly and gently stroked your cheek with his thumb and you wanted to melt into the seat right there and then. No one had touched you so tenderly for months, if not years. Nervously you bit your lip as you weighed the pros and cons. What happened if the kiss was weird and you had to sit next to each other for hours afterwards? Was it inappropriate to kiss someone else so soon after the breakup with your ex-boyfriend? Why did you even bother about what others, especially your ex-boyfriend, thought of you?
Hoseok exhaled with amusement and shook his head. “I see you thinking, you know that?”
“Sorry,” you muttered and lowered your head in shame. But Hoseok also raised his other hand and now embraced your face from both sides, so you had to look at him. 
“I won’t do anything that you are not one hundred percent comfortable with. Deal?” You nodded in agreement. “So, baby, tell me what I can do to make you feel good.”
You were taken aback by his question and your heart leapt at the pet name he had addressed you by. You no longer knew how words and language worked. But Hoseok noticed your hesitation and you held your breath as he moved a little closer. You felt his hot breath on your face and instinctively closed your eyes. Light as a feather, you felt his lips as they gently brushed against yours, but not yet touching yours completely. “Is a kiss a good start?” he whispered and you nodded eagerly.
Without wasting another second he pressed his soft lips on yours. You sighed as he took a hand off your cheek and buried it in your hair. He pressed himself closer against you as far as the armrest between you allowed and you pulled him a little closer to you by his hoodie. He could barely be close enough to you. The warmth he radiated immersed you in an indefinable veil of lust and desire. It wasn’t long before he opened his mouth and you felt his tongue on your lips. With a smile you opened your mouth more than willingly and immediately he pushed into you. You had to suppress a moan as he explored your mouth extensively and savored your taste. 
“Shh,” Hoseok whispered against your lips and the vibration of the words on your lips sent a shiver through your whole body. His thumb gently stroked your lips as if to emphasize his words, and an almost desperate whimper escaped you. “We don’t want to wake up the other passengers, do we?” he exhaled and his hot breath grazed your face. 
With your eyes still closed you shook your head and your lips found his again. His lips were soft and your mouths moved together in an almost familiar rhythm. Willingly you buried your fingers in his hair to draw him even closer to you and feel his body against yours. Hoseok grunted dissatisfied and reluctantly separated from you. He reached between your two bodies and a moment later he pushed the armrest between your two seats upwards.
“Better,” he murmured and pressed his mouth firmly back onto yours again. A soft sigh escaped you when you could finally turn to the side on your seat and he pressed you tightly against him. Your fingers curiously explored the muscles that were hidden under his t-shirt and he sighed into the kiss as you slid your fingers under it to let your fingers dance right over his skin. He exhaled trembling when you touched him and you had to stifle a grin. 
Meanwhile, one of his hands moved down your side and hip before finally resting on your thigh, where his thumb made circling movements. You drew in the air sharply as his thumb stroked the inside of your leg, sending a wave of excitement through you. The feeling took you by surprise so much that you didn’t even realize how you had stopped to respond to the kiss. Only when Hoseok’s head moved away from you and looked at you waiting, did you open your eyes and notice your slight freeze.
“Is that going too far?” he asked with concern and your eyes widened at his assumption.
Immediately you shook your head. “Not at all,” you said quietly, so that none of the passengers sitting around you would know anything about your conversation. Then you had to laugh softly and briefly dodged his questioning look. “On the contrary. If you continue like this, I just don’t know if I can hold myself back.”
At these words, Hoseok had to smile before it turned into a dirty grin. “Then I guess I’d better stop, right?” Contrary to his words, he started circling his thumb on the inside of your thigh again. Your eyes fluttered closed at the touch and millimeter by millimeter Hoseok worked his way up between your legs. “On the other hand,” Hoseok began and paused, sliding his thumb right between your legs and slowly stroking the fabric of your jeans. You had to bite your lower lip hard to keep from moaning. “What should the crew do? Throw us out?”
You had to giggle, even though you knew there would be other ways to punish you for your inappropriate behavior.
“I would take my chances,” you whispered and smiled honestly at him. That was the last confirmation Hoseok had been waiting for. He released the grip around your thigh and unbuttoned your jeans. His gaze almost pierced you as he slowly, almost teasingly, pulled the zipper down before he let his hand slide in. 
He pressed his lips to yours just at the moment when a surprised moan left your lips as you felt his fingers right against your naked skin. You straightened up to give him better access to your pants and immediately his long, narrow fingers slid deeper. He had to feel how wet you were as he slid one of his fingers along the length of your labia and then circled your opening. Slowly he began to penetrate you with the tip of his finger before pulling back again. He repeated this movement a few times until you were sure that your panties would be completely soaked. You could not remember ever having been so wet. Your ex-boyfriend and you had mostly used lube to make it more comfortable. But now you were sure that Hoseok would be able to penetrate you just like that.
At the thought of Hoseok cock you inevitably clenched around nothing. You managed a soft whimper and Hoseok felt pity for you as he pushed his finger completely inside you. You held your breath and had to squeeze your eyes together when he immediately started to curl his finger to find the slightly rough spot inside you that made you see black spots behind your eyes. You were more than happy about the loud turbine noise of the plane, because otherwise you were sure that the other passengers would hear how wet you were. 
“Hoseok,” you brought out between wet kisses and grabbed his forearm. “Can we go somewhere else?”
“Bathroom?” he asked straight away and you nodded. He pressed a short kiss on your lips before he slowly pulled his finger out of you. With a mixture of fascination and pure lust, he looked at his glistening finger, which had been buried deep inside you just a few moments before. “Fuck, baby,” he said softly, and you almost didn’t hear him over the sounds of your surroundings. He moved closer to you and breathed into your ear, “You turn me on so much, you have no idea. God, I’m so hard, it almost hurts.”
You whimpered as your abdomen contracted painfully around nothing at his words. Without a second thought, you broke away from him and feverishly searched your purse for the small box you always carried with you. Just in case. You would never have expected that you would use it today. You rustled and rummaged and almost let out a cry of relief when your fingers closed around the little box.
“Shhh,” someone in front of you suddenly hissed, and when you looked up, you looked directly into the annoyed eyes of the man in front of you, who had turned around during your rummaging and glared at you from between the seats.
“Sorry,” you hissed back as well, although you felt the heat spreading to your cheeks. You didn’t even want to know what you looked like right now – reddened cheeks, tangled hair and bloody kissed lips. But your tone of voice seemed to surprise him a bit, so he turned around without another word. 
“Wow, you can be really scary,” Hoseok laughed in your ear, and his breath tickled as the gust of air released one of your strands of hair. 
“Shut up,” you mumbled and nodded towards the end of the plane where the nearest toilets were at. 
He just shook his head laughing as he slipped into the seat next to him and then straightened up. You waited a moment, which you used to button your pants again, even though you were sure that nobody was paying attention to you two anyway. As you bridged the last meters with wobbly legs, you noticed in relief that the row behind you, and thus the last row in the plane, had remained empty on both sides. You took a quick look over your shoulder backwards before you followed Hoseok into the narrow bathroom where he held the door open for you.
“Fuck, this is smaller than I thought,” you said in surprise as you let your gaze slide through the small room.
But Hoseok just shrugged his shoulders and leaned close to you to lower the cover of the toilet. “We’ll work it out,” he reassured you and winked at you. Your stomach did somersaults again and you cursed Hoseok for the effect he had on you without much effort.
“Do you have any preferences or anything you don’t like at all?”
You thought about it for a moment, but then you shook your head. “Except anal. Not a fan of that.”
With a smile on his face, Hoseok grabbed the small box you were still holding tightly and had almost forgotten about. “Okay, good to know,” he said with a quick glance into your eyes before opening the box and taking out a condom. He put both on the shelf of the sink behind him and turned back to you.
You already noticed how much the small room was heating up and without further ado you pulled your sweater over your head, which was already sticking to you. Carefully you put it on the toilet lid and made sure that it didn’t touch anything else. 
“You’re so hot, do you know that?” Hoseok muttered and firmly grabbed your hips. He pulled you against him and willingly you pressed your hips against his, where you immediately felt more than clearly his hard erection between your legs. You rubbed your hips against his a couple of times, causing Hoseok to grunt roughly. Without hesitation, he had turned you around so he could push you backwards against the sink and let his pelvis snap hard against yours. 
You moaned loudly before you could restrain yourself and immediately Hoseok’s index finger was on your lips. Almost disapprovingly he looked at you, but his eyes were sparkling treacherously with a grin. “We have to be careful, baby. Otherwise someone might catch and interrupt us. You don’t want that, do you?”
You shook your head. The thought that someone would stop you almost brought tears of frustration to your eyes. 
“Good,” Hoseok said softly and his gaze slipped back to your lips. “Then you’d better be a good girl and be careful not to make a sound.” He moved closer and added in a whisper, “Unless you want me to punish you.”
You moaned into the kiss that Hoseok pressed on your lips and at the sound, Hoseok grabbed your butt and kneaded it hard. He pressed his hips firmly against yours again and a wave of excitement flooded through you. Soon your fingers found their way to the buttons of his jeans and a second later you unbuttoned them and pulled them down over Hoseok’s butt. 
“Do you like it from behind?” Hoseok asked and he didn’t even have to finish the sentence, you had already turned 180 degrees.
“Fuck, yes,” you replied breathlessly and opened your jeans with skillful movements. You watched in the mirror hanging directly above the sink as Hoseok fixed his gaze on your butt and massaged it with both hands. To have a little more support, you leaned forward and placed your forearms on the sink. This inevitably pushed your butt and pelvis backwards, which pressed directly against Hoseok’s cock. Hoseok cursed at the contact and you had to suppress your grin.
“God, baby, I can’t wait to be inside you,” he said and you watched him in the mirror as he reached into his boxers and pulled out his cock. Your mouth watered as he wrapped his hand tightly around himself and stroked it up and down a few times. Then he grabbed the condom with one hand and returned your gaze firmly as he ripped open the package with his teeth. He grinned at you over your shoulder before he pushed your panties to the side and let his cock slide between your legs. You exhaled trembling as you felt the tip pressing against your opening and slowly penetrating you. Then Hoseok suddenly let his hips snap forward so that his cock pushed completely inside of you. Your mouth fell open to a silent scream as your inner walls were stretched by his thick cock. 
“Shhh,” Hoseok whispered and put his flat hand on your mouth so that no more sound came out of your mouth. You felt his cock slowly slide out of you before Hoseok pushed back into you with one quick movement. “Fuck, you’re so… argh, tight,” he managed to say through clenched teeth between his powerful thrusts. The obscene sound of clapping skin on skin filled the small space and you felt Hoseok squeeze your arousal out of you with each thrust, where it dripped down your thighs. 
Hoseok released his hand from your mouth, and you pulled yourself together not to moan loudly with each of his thrusts. He let his hand go under your shirt and grabbed one of your breasts after he pushed your bra down. When he rolled your nipple between two of his fingers and pinched it hard, you had to bite your lips. He released his hand from your hip, which he had previously gripped tightly, and wrapped it around your upper body to straighten you up a moment later. Your back came into contact with his upper body and you felt his muscles and hard chest in your back.
“Hoseok-ah,” you moaned as you watched in the mirror as his cock slipped between your legs and disappeared deep inside you with each thrust. It was mesmerizing to watch and with each stroke you felt his cock rubbing against your g-spot, bringing you closer and closer to the edge of your orgasm. 
He also struggled to hold back with his sounds as he put his head on your shoulder and grunted in your ear. “You are fucking amazing,” he said, and focused on long, hard thrusts that pressed you firmly against the sink each time. “I can’t – fuck–” He picked up his pace and you too felt the knot in your abdomen tighten more and more. You trembled with excitement as you felt his fingers on your throat and your eyes flickered upwards to return his passionate gaze with which he was fixing you. Once he lightly squeezed with his fingers, your eyes fluttered shut with the sensation and you pulled yourself tight around his cock, which was still pumping in and out of you rigorously. “Oh baby, do you like to be choked?” His fingers closed tightly around your neck again and with an especially hard movement of his hips against your ass you came. 
Hoseok released his grip around your upper body and you used your elbows to support yourself on the sink. You covered your mouth when your orgasm came powerfully over you and Hoseok grabbed your hips with both hands to push hard into you a few more times before he also came and emptied himself into the condom. 
At the edge of your blurred perception, you heard him curse continuously before he finally came to a halt buried deep inside you. You both gasped for breath and you had to lay your heated forehead on the edge of the sink, so exhausted and spent you were. The coolness of the ceramic felt good and you closed your eyes for a moment. Only when Hoseok slowly pulled out of you and you heard him open the trash can next to the toilet to dispose the used condom, did you straighten up again. 
“Oh God,” you said breathlessly and heard Hoseok laugh behind you. When your gaze found his in the mirror, a bright smile spread across his face.
“I hope a good ‘Oh God’?” His fingers found your panties, which he put back in place and which you hadn’t even noticed. You were too focused on getting your breathing back under control and holding yourself upright on your shaky legs. He also helped you to pull your jeans back up.
You nodded and a little smile came over your face as you buttoned your pants and reached for your sweater. When you pulled it over your head and there was nothing but darkness around you for a brief moment, you felt your heart beating up to your neck. And you knew that it wasn’t just because of the physical effort and your orgasm. 
You were afraid if you were completely honest with yourself. 
What was that between you now? Were you just a quick fuck to him? And what was he to you? What did you want from him?
When your head came through the opening of your sweater, your eyes found Hoseok, who looked at you with a little smile on his lips.
“What?” you asked, laughing softly, but he shook his head briefly and took a step towards you, so that he stood right in front of you. 
He lifted his hand and his fingers stroked your hair gently, almost lovingly, “You are incredible, I just wanted to tell you that.”
His sentence hung in the air like a half spoken confession and you were frantically searching for an answer. You managed nothing more than a little laugh, though, and you felt the blood rush to your cheeks. His thumb stroked over them while he watched you. God, you couldn’t stop smiling. Especially not when he looked back at you with that grin. 
It was quiet between the two of you, only the loud engine noises of the airplane could be heard and for a short moment you had forgotten that you were several kilometers above the ground. This realization literally brought you back to earth and Hoseok seemed to realize this as well.
“We should go back,” you noticed after another moment when none of you moved from the spot.
Hoseok cleared his throat before nodding and letting his hand fall. “You’re probably right. Do you want to go first?”
“Okay,” you agreed with him and grabbed the small box that you put in the pocket of your hoodie. The two of you changed positions before you bent forward and pressed your ear against the door to check if someone was in the hallway. Except for the loud engines, you couldn’t hear anything. Your fingers found the latch of the door and pushed it aside. You turned to him again and said a quiet “See you in a moment,” before quickly squeezing out of the small room and closing the door behind you. 
You were more than happy when you dropped down to your seat, exhausted, and had not met anyone. It seemed as if most of the passengers had gone to sleep in the meantime, since the lights in the passenger compartment were also turned off for the most part. But you knew that at least for the next hour you wouldn’t be able to get any sleep. At least not if your heartbeat didn’t calm down soon and continued to throb in your ears.
But you were wrong. You noticed how Hoseok came back as well, but your eyelids had already become heavy. It seemed as if the stress of the past weeks was finally catching up with you and your body was getting what it desperately needed and why you had gone away in the first place: rest. And sleep.
The last thing you noticed that night was your head falling to the side and landing on something hard and a soft touch on your cheek.
The next time you opened your eyes, you had no idea how much time had passed. You blinked the sleep out of your eyes and straightened yourself up with a soft groan when you realized how your whole body hurt. Confused, you squinted as the sun and sudden brightness blinded you. You could swear that it had been pitch black a moment before. Astonished, you turned your head and winced when you noticed how stiff your neck was. 
“Good morning,” said a soft voice and blinking, you looked up at the person sitting next to you. Hoseok had a warm smile on his lips as you tried to understand where you were and what had happened.
Then everything hit you full speed. Your ex-boyfriend, your spontaneous decision to travel for a few days, the handsome stranger at the airport who turned out to be Hoseok, and finally… “Hi,” you croaked and cleared your throat to release the lump in your dry throat.
Hoseok laughed. “You were completely out of it. You just slept through six hours. I’ve never seen that on a flight before.”
“Six hours, huh?” you asked and leaned back in your seat. When realization hit you, your eyes widened in shock. “Six hours?” you asked stunned and looked at Hoseok, who just nodded. “That means we’re almost there, doesn’t it?”
“We’re already on the approach,” Hoseok explained and your heart sank as he said. 
Great, so you slept through the entire time you would have had with Hoseok. You beat yourself up on the inside as you thought about what he must think of you now. Falling asleep just like that, without another word after your… act. He probably thought that you found him boring or not good. Fuck, what if he thought you were just pretending to sleep so you wouldn’t have to talk to him? Oh no, oh no, oh no, that wasn’t good at all. 
You noticed your heartbeat quickening and pure panic gripped you. You had to set it right, right now. “Hoseok,” you started and he looked up from his laptop. “I–” you started, but then you were interrupted by a stewardess who told you to fold up your tables and fasten your seat belts. You complied and you watched from the corner of your eye as Hoseok neatly stowed his laptop in his bag. When he straightened up, you were already looking at him. “I’m sorry.”
He looked at you in surprise. Then he tilted his head. “What exactly are you apologizing for? If it’s for last night,” the corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he remembered, “then you don’t need to apologize for anything. Not at all.”
The heat rose to your cheeks as your thoughts drifted to the previous night. You nervously intertwined your fingers as you searched for the right words. But Hoseok interrupted your flood of thoughts when you suddenly felt his fingers under your chin and he lifted your head slightly so you looked at him. “Are you okay?”
Fuck, it was definitely not normal for your stomach to somersault at the way he was looking at you. Too nervous to speak, you just nodded, “Well then,” Hoseok replied, and his eyes flickered briefly to your lips before he dropped his hand and turned his attention forward. A moment later, you felt the wheels of the plane touch the ground and the plane slowed down. As you looked out the window and saw the buildings of the airport just a few meters away from you, you realized that you really had already landed. That it was not a dream. And that you would part ways with Hoseok in a few minutes. You didn’t even want to think about the possibility that you might – presumably – probably – never see him again. 
By the time the plane had stopped, connected to the bridge to the building, and the stewardesses told you that you could get up, you had already convinced yourself that it had been nothing more than something quick and easy for him. A one-off. You flinched at the word. You picked up your things like all the other passengers and walked one after the other down the narrow corridor to the exit. Your gaze fell on the back of Hoseok’s head, from which his hair stood out in all directions, probably from sleeping. You would love to run your fingers through his soft hair and straighten it. But you didn’t know how he would react and if he would welcome your touch. 
You said goodbye to the crew and you shivered slightly as you experienced the first touch of cooler weather. Hoseok took rapid strides and you had trouble keeping up with him. Did he want to outrun you? Was he hoping you would disappear into the crowd and he could steal away just like that?
Just as those self-destructive thoughts came to your mind, Hoseok looked over his shoulder and slowed down his steps. He reached out his hand to you, which you gratefully took. 
“Sorry,” he said and you had trouble understanding him over the bustle at the airport. “I have an important appointment in an hour and I have to hurry a little.” You had arrived at the baggage claim and Hoseok pointed with his thumb over his shoulder towards the exit. “I’m only traveling with hand luggage because I’m only staying a few days and normally I’m a gentleman and would help you with your suitcase, but–”
“It’s okay, Hoseok,” you placated him when you noticed how he drifted more and more into a monologue. You did the same thing when you were nervous and had to smile when you noticed this similarity. “Good luck at the meeting.” 
Ask him for his phone number.
“Thanks, Y/N,” Hoseok replied and a moment later pulled you into a firm hug. You took a deep breath and his masculine, soothing scent enveloped you. You were certain that he was giving you a kiss on your hair, but you weren’t absolutely sure about the soft touch. Before you could say anything, he had detached himself from you again and had taken a few steps back. 
Ask him before it is too late.
He gave you another smile before he turned 180 degrees and walked towards the exit. Your lips were sealed as you watched him move meter by meter away from you. 
His name was on the tip of your tongue when he suddenly turned and shouted over the distance: “Let me know what you think of the end of 1Q84!” Confused, you frowned. How would you do that? Hoseok seemed to notice your hesitation, but he just grinned and pointed to your backpack, which was hanging from one of your shoulders. 
As quickly as you could, you pulled it off your shoulder, struggled to open the zipper with your trembling fingers and then rummaged for your book. Unlike the small box, you found it immediately and turned to your bookmark. When a small piece of paper fell towards you, you looked up smiling and relieved. You just saw Hoseok waving to you and you thought you could hear his laugh even from a distance before he disappeared around the corner. 
I really hope you liked this short oneshot and I’m more than happy about any feedback! Please stay safe and healthy! See you soon! 💜
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tsukkisbean · 4 years ago
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never cold | third year boyfriend!tsukishima x gn!reader
genre: fluff and angst
warnings: jealousy, poor communication
word count: 4.0k
summary:  you’ve always loved valentine’s day and believed it was a holiday worth  celebrating and this year you have tsukishima to spend it with.  however, much to your disappointment he tells you that he thinks the  holiday is a waste of time and doesn’t understand why people even  bother. so what happens when your secret admirer takes their chance to  tell you how they feel?
a/n: i’m sorry this turned out kind of lame but nonetheless i hope you like it!!! ty for requesting!! also this is a repost bc tumblr is picking a fight :)
original request here
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Every year, each class is assigned to run a holiday event for the school. So, when the school president notifies you that your class will be in charge of the Valentine’s Day event this year, you’re over the moon.
You’re determined to pull off an amazing event not only because your pride as class representative is on the line, but simply because you love the concept of Valentine’s Day.
During your break between classes you rack your brain, trying to think of an idea that will blow the entire school away.
“What about a kissing booth?”
You turn to look at your friend, nose scrunching in distaste, “Really? A kissing booth? I think that’s overdone and quite frankly, disgusting, Yachi.”
Embarrassment is written all over her face and you can’t help but feel bad at your small outburst, “Sorry Yachi, that was rude of me. I do appreciate you trying to help me though.”
Her messy blonde hair sways side to side as she shakes her head, “No, you’re right. I’d feel sorry for whoever has to kiss hundreds of random strangers.” A giggle escapes your lips when you see the way she gags at the thought.
“Hey, Y/N are you planning to do something with Tsukishima for Valentine’s?”
The question catches you off guard. You’ve been dating for just about a year now and you know he wasn’t exactly into these sorts of things but surely, he at least had something planned, right? Just as you’re about to respond, the school bell goes off, signalling the start of your third period.
For the rest of the day, your mind is preoccupied with brainstorming. Love telegrams? Serenades? Chocolates? No, although traditional, it was all too boring to you.
It’s only the when the ring of your cellphone brings you back to reality. Your face lights up at the caller ID, your finger quickly swiping across the screen.
“Kei! Where have you been?”
When you hear your boyfriend’s voice for the first time today, your worries seem to fade away. “Yamaguchi, Hinata and Kageyama kept pestering me to practice with them during all our breaks today.” You can just imagine the scowl he has plastered on his face.
“Well it can’t be helped. After all, interhighs will be here before you know it. You’ve got to set a good example for all your juniors.” You hear him sigh on the other end, “Yeah I guess but, that means we won’t be able to see each other as much.”
The corner of your lips lifts upward into a wide smile. Tsukishima has never been the type to be so forward when expressing his affection towards you, so you always cherish these types of moments.
You’re suddenly reminded of what Yachi asked you earlier in the day and you ponder whether or not you should bring it up with him.
“Hey, Kei?”
“Hm?”
“Do you have anything planned for Valentine’s Day?” You can barely make it out, but you definitely hear him scoff.
“Probably not. I don’t really understand why people go crazy over it. It’s so corny and unnecessarily expensive, it’s just a waste of a day.”
You nod your head, even though he can’t see you, “I see. Well I have homework to do, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Kei.”
Before he can respond, you end the call, throwing your phone on the bed.
Why were you so upset? You know that your boyfriend was like this; you understand that he isn’t fond of big theatrics when it came to love. You like him and he likes you, that’s all that should matter. Yet, for some reason, you can’t get rid of the tight feeling building in your chest.
When you wake up the next day, your heart still feels heavy.  Last night’s conversation still lingers in your mind, maybe because you know there’s some truth to what he said. Or maybe, it’s because you secretly hoped he’d take advantage of the holiday to show you how much he cared for you.
Pushing your thoughts away, you busy yourself with getting ready for another day of school.
When you arrive, you easily spot your boyfriend, his tall frame towering over most of the other students. One of his friends catches your eye, before giving your boyfriend a gentle a nudge, pointing towards you. Tsukishima turns to look at you momentarily before quickly walking off in the direction of his classroom.
Automatically, your lips turn into a frown. He must be upset because you abruptly hung up on him last night. You let out a sigh; maybe you’d buy him a slice of his favourite strawberry shortcake and surprise him after his practice.
During class your mind is anywhere but the lesson, your focus drifting between the Valentine’s event and Tsukishima avoiding you.
“Y/N”
“Y/N!”
Your seatmate gives you a sharp nudge to the side, bringing your attention to the front of the room.
“I believe you have an announcement for the class?”
You scramble out of your seat, smoothing out the wrinkles in your uniform as you make your way to the front of the classroom, “This year our class has been chosen to run the Valentine’s day event.” A mixture of groans and excited whispers fill the classroom, “If you would like to participate in the planning process please let me know. Those who do not partake in the planning are required to participate in the execution of the event.”
During lunch, much to your relief, a number of students approach you to offer their help. As a group, you exchange ideas back and forth and by the end of lunch break you’ve collected a wide variety of ideas. All that was left was to actually decide on one.
Happiness and excitement settles in your chest, and you can barely sit still for the rest of the day.  When the final bell goes off, those helping with the event hurriedly crowd around your desk to continue the conversation from earlier.
“Okay well we definitely have to have flowers and chocolate! How can you have Valentine’s Day without those?”
“Singing attracts way too much attention. I would literally die of embarrassment if I got serenaded in front of the whole class.”
“Telegrams are so overdone, but I also think they’re romantic, they definitely fit the vibe.”
“What if we set up an event based on the red string of fate?” Once you hear the idea your heart falls in love.
“Watanabe, that’s a great idea! Students can send in their profiles and whether  they’re looking for love or friendship. Then we’ll match them based on preferences. On Valentines Day, we’ll separate students onto two sides of the sports field.  They’ll find the card with their names and put on their string before they set off to find their match!”
Excited chatter erupts among the group, everyone adding in their two cents. The next while is spent delegating tasks to everyone, from promotion to design to operations. By the time you wrap up it’s already close to 7pm.
Grabbing your belongings, you quickly throw them into your bag. Tsukishima should be wrapping up practice soon, and unless his teammates ask him to stay the two of you could walk home together.
Quickly, you make your way to the gym to find your boyfriend. From quite a distance away you can clearly hear Hinata and Kageyama shouting at each other as usual. When you arrive at the door, you’re greeted by a chorus of “hellos” from the volleyball club.
Your boyfriend jogs over to you, stopping just shy of the door. Upon further inspection, you can see the beads of sweat forming on his nose and forehead and you can’t help but smile, knowing how hard he must be working to make it to nationals this year.
“Y/N? What are you doing here still?” there’s a hint of standishoffness in his voice but you brush it aside, “My class was assigned to the Valentine’s Day event, so I stayed behind with some classmates to do some planning. I thought that we could walk home together?”
Tsukishima’s lips press into a thin line. Was he still angry with you?
“Sorry, but we’re still practicing.”
A voice chimes in from behind, “What are you talking about? You just said-”
The tall male whips around, you can’t see his expression but by the way Hinata reacts, you can tell he’s glaring at him.
“You know what, forget it. You obviously don’t want to walk home with me and I’m an adult so I can walk myself home.” Turning on your heels, you storm away from the gym, ignoring your boyfriend as he calls your name.
The next couple of weeks fly by as you’re busy preparing for the Valentine’s event.  Applications flow in every day, and although you’re glad the event is a hit you can’t help but feel exhausted.
The fact that you and Tsukishima haven’t spoken properly since your outburst doesn’t help either. Your text messages are short and infrequent; a simple “good morning” and “good night”, and sometimes the occasional “have a good day”.
Before you know it, Valentine’s Day arrives. As you step onto the field, your heart is racing uncontrollably. You’ve spent the past month alongside your classmates working out every single kink to ensure everything would be perfect for today.
You raise your arm into the air, the red flag in your hand dancing in the cold winter breeze. Taking in a deep breath, you call out as loud as you can, “Ready... set.... go!”
Laughter fills the air as you watch your school mates stumble between each other trying to find their other half for the day through the sea of red.
“Pull on your string, you might be my match!”
“Quit pushing me!”
“Hey, stop trying to tangle my string!!”
“You guys are totally matched together, you’re literally the same person.”
Your cheeks start to ache from smiling so hard, but you can’t help yourself. Watching as everyone slowly finds the end of the red string creates a warmth in your chest. You haven’t felt this way since... well since the day Tsukishima confessed to you.
It had happened last winter. The two of you were walking home together after his volleyball practice. You’re not sure what came over you at the time but you thought it would be a good idea to throw a snowball at him. The look on his face when the cold white powder hit him square in his chest was absolutely priceless. But the moment didn’t last long when he made a much much much larger snowball.
You screamed at the top of your lungs as he chased after you, determined to get back at you. After a few minutes, your lungs started to give out and so you turned around, hands held up in the air, “I give up, I’m sorry.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, snowball still in his hands ready to throw it at you if need be, “What are you sorry for?”
You tried to stifle your laughter, for someone who acted so cool all the time, seeing that side of him was honestly quite refreshing, “I’m sorry for throwing a snowball at you. You must be cold.”
“No.” In three swift strides, Tsukishima is standing in front of you, “I never feel cold when I’m with you, Y/N.”
A distant voice snaps you out of your daydream. When you come back to your senses, you realize everyone has found their match and is waiting for your closing remarks. Grabbing the microphone you quickly thank everyone for participating, sending them off with well wishes.
Once the majority of the students leave the field, you round up your classmates, thanking them for all the hard work they put into the event.
As you head back inside, a familiar voice calls your name, “Y/N!”
“Watanabe, thank you for the amazing idea. There’s no way I would have been able to think of something as creative as this.”
They quickly shake their head, “No way, I should be the one thanking you. You had so many more ideas to add on that really brought it to life. This event was totally a hit, I heard a lot of people saying they want to do this again next year.”
A comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you head back to your classroom to grab your things.
“Hey, Y/N...?”
“Yes?”
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Your head snaps towards them, the surprise evident on your face.
“Ah sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering since you always seem so excited to talk about Valentine’s Day.”
You reach out, giving their shoulder a gentle pat, “That’s okay, I don’t mind,” you pause momentarily, “I don’t think I’m doing anything.”
Watanabe nods their head, clearly thinking about whether or not they should puruse the current topic. When they choose to let it go, you silently thank them, not wanting to be reminded of the fact that you and your boyfriend were still on bad terms on the supposed most romantic day of the year.
When you arrive at home, you try to distract yourself with your homework. Hours pass by, not a single message, or phone call. Even if Tsukishima didn’t like the holiday didn’t he at least have the heart to tell you “happy Valentine’s Day? Pulling out your phone, you open up your chat with your boyfriend. But before you can start typing, the familiar typing bubble pops up and you quickly exit out. You watch your screen expectantly, jumping when your phone chimes.
[10:43pm] ♥kei♥: good night.
Immediately, your shoulders deflate. That was it? Another simple goodnight? Throwing your phone in the corner, you climb into bed and shut your eyes. Maybe in your dreams you’d meet Tsukishima in a world where he truly cared.
Your body feels sluggish in the morning as you make your way to your cubby. Instead of sweet dreams, you tossed and turned all night unable to get Tsukishima off your mind. Pulling your indoor shoes out of their slot, you drop them to the floor with a thunk. You slip off your outdoor shoes, and just as you’re about to put them away, a red envelope catches your eye.
You look around to see if anybody is watching you, but everyone around you is absorbed in their own conversations. Quickly, you stuff your shoes away, before tearing the red packaging open.  
Dearest Y/N,
Where do I begin? When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were an angel sent from the heavens. Seeing you smile at me sends my heart into a frenzy, and quite frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve even recovered from the last time you looked at me with those eyes. Those beautiful eyes that I could get lost in forever.
If only you were mine, I’d make you happy.
Love,
Your Secret Admirer
You were at a loss for words. From the way they addressed you, it was obvious it wasn’t your boyfriend. Yet, you couldn’t think of a single person that could have written you this letter.
The warning bell goes off and you shove the letter into your bag, rushing off to homeroom.
As the week continues on, so did the letters. No matter how hard you looked, you couldn’t figure out who was leaving them for you.
At your wits end, you decide to confide in Yachi. If you couldn’t catch sight of your secret admirer, maybe she could, “I’m telling you Yachi, it’s definitely not Kei. I have no idea who it could be and I have no idea how they keep slipping me these notes without me noticing!”
As you ramble on about your secret admirer, you fail to notice how silent Yachi has become. When you finally realize, you notice how stiff she’s become; the colour has drained from her face and she’s not looking at you, but past you.
Slowly you turn around, only to be met with a cold pair of eyes. The grip around your wrist is tight as you’re dragged down the hallway.
“Kei, you’re hurting me. Let go!” Your complaints are dismissed as the two of you continue on, stopping only when you reach the gym used by the boys’ volleyball club. Your body is shoved into the supply room, Tsukishima slamming the door shut behind the two of you.
Click
“Why have you been ignoring me?”
Your mouth hangs open, completely lost for words, “Kei you can’t be serious.”
The way his gaze pierces through you tells you he’s dead serious.
“Is it because of the letters you’ve been receiving? Who are they from? Do you like them?” His questions come rushing at you so fast, you can barely catch everything he’s saying.
But the longer he goes on, the angrier you feel yourself become. You can hear the blood rushing in your ears, your body trembles with anger, you even think you might be seeing red.
“Do you want to break up with me?”
It’s like something inside you snaps and you can’t bear to listen to his rambling any longer, “Tsukishima Kei,” your voice rings loud and clear in the small room. For a moment even you’re stunned at yourself.
You open your mouth to speak again, but the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a weak sob. You lean over, resting your hands on your knees as the tears build in your eyes. It only takes a moment for them to start streaming down your face.
“Kei you’re so stupid, you’re so fucking stupid.” When you feel his fingers graze your skin, you immediately step away, your back hitting the layer of gym mats.
He takes a step towards you, “Y/N...please tell me what I did wrong. Please.” His voice is soft, barely a whisper.
When you look up at him, he looks just as ruined as you do. The area around his eyes is bright red, tears brimming his eyes.
"I wish you loved me more.” The words are bitter in your mouth, but there’s truth in them.
But when you see the look on his face, you’re instantly filled with regret, “Kei I didn’t-” but he cuts off you off before you can continue, “Is this because I said I wasn’t planning anything for Valentine’s Day?”
You say nothing, but your silence tells him everything he needs to know. Running his fingers through his hair, he lets out a frustrated sigh, “Maybe if you weren’t hanging out with Watanabe or any of those other people.”
“We were working on the Valentine’s Day event, and you know that.” you spit back at him, anger brewing in your chest once again.
He steps towards you again, arms trapping you between his body and the mats behind you, “I bet one of them is the one sending you the letters.”
When you don’t respond, he starts to make his way out of the supply room stopping momentarily to look back at you, “Y/N, I don’t need a shitty holiday to express how much I love being with you, when I do it everyday. Or at least that’s what I thought.”
With that, he leaves you, his footsteps heavy against the hardwood floors of the gym.
Over the weekend, you try to distract yourself from thinking about Tsukishima. But no matter what you do, everything always seems to lead right back to him.
Like the hoodie you’re wearing that he (reluctantly) gave you when you snuck out past midnight that one time. Or when your parents bring home the strawberry cake that the two of you would sometimes share at the bakery near your house.
While you drown in your feelings you ignore the knock on the door. But it comes again, and again, and again. Forcing yourself up from your bed, you make your way downstairs.
Swinging the front door open, you’re greeted by nothing but the emptiness of your front yard. Just as you’re about to shut the door, a flash of red catches your eye.
On the ground is a card and attached is a piece of long red string. The string passes your front gate but that’s as far as you can see. Cautiously you pick up the card, your name written clearly on the front. You don’t recognize the writing and so you debate with yourself for a few moments.
You shout to your parents that you’ll be back, not bothering to tell them why you were running off so late at night.
As you follow the red string you pass a number of familiar places. Your favourite bakery, the record store that has all the albums of your favourite artists, and the book store you like to hide in on rainy days.
At last, the string leads you to the park. Your eyes follows the string to where it disappears behind a nearby tree. Slowly you approach, your feet crunching against the snow.
Just before you can identify the person at the end of the string, a ball of white is hurled towards your chest.
You look down, the icy crystals already melting into the fabric of your hoodie. The sound of footsteps catch your attention, the culprit walking out with his signature smirk plastered across his face.
“What the hell was that for?”
Suddenly, you’re pulled into a hug. It’s warm and familiar, the feeling has you melting into his arms.
His hands grab fistfuls of your hoodie, pushing you closer to his body, holding you as if you were going to melt away just like the snow. Part of you is still angry at him for lashing out at you, but the other part of you knows that you were also in the wrong. So you stay, you stay in his arms because when you’re together like this, your heart knows that it’s home.
The two of you continue to stand there, breathing in sync, hearts beating as if they were one. 
“Y/N I’m sorry.” His voice breaks the silence between the two of you.
One of his arms wraps itself securely around your waist, the other rising to cup your cheek, “I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you like that, it’s not your fault you were getting those letters.”
You shake your head furiously, wanting to tell him he’d done nothing wrong but when you look into his golden eyes. It’s a look you’ve never once seen before. It’s almost as if they’re pleading for you to listen, just for now. So desperate yet so full of love.
“I should have realized how important Valentine’s Day is to you. When you hung up on me, I should have realized. When I saw you the next day I shouldn’t have run from you. Being away from you hurt me, and I know it hurt you just as much. It wasn’t fair of me.”
There are a million thoughts running through your mind, but there’s one that you can see clearly.
“Kei, I love you.”
Maybe it was the winter chill, or maybe you’ve finally managed to fluster him, but nonetheless his ears burn a bright red.
“I didn’t mean what I said the other day - about wishing you loved me more. I know you do. I know you don’t say it often, but everything you do for me shows me you do.”
You ramble on, listing every action of love, big or small, that you can recall. Your speech is cut short when your boyfriend captures your lips in a chaste kiss.
His lips are cold against yours, yet when he pulls away, your mouth feels like they’ve been set aflame, “Y/N, I love you. If you want, I’ll make you feel as if Valentine’s Day is everyday.”
Your heart flip flops at those three words but all you can say is, “Kei you’re cold.”
Gently, he knocks his forehead against yours, “I’m never cold. Not when I’m with you.”
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indianamoonshine · 4 years ago
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siberu | reader x din djarin
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summary: reader is not human, but a force-senstive humanoid, who is searching for a legendary sickle in the caverns of an arctic planet named siberus. she stumbles across a lonely, very lost, and very cold din djarin in the snow. they discuss the strange little creature in din’s bag.
mentions: cursing. mention of the youngling situation during order 66. gender is a construct. reader is absolutely fawning over how cute grogu is.
note: just two people repressing obvious feelings. this was a request so i hope @tolkienblackgirl​ approves! i’m sorry it was literally months before i got to it. it’s not a super happy ending and a little angsty which is very unlike me. i really wish i could’ve done more with this, but i have three other fics on my hands at the moment so i had to make it a one-shot.
rating: m just in case.
it was way too fucking cold here.
you didn’t care for siberus just by the briefing alone, but when your ship lands upon the frozen terrain, you teeth immediately clench. snow falls around you in flurries, the wind spiraling them into a weak tornado at your booted feet as soon as your ramp tumbles noisily upon the ground. the air was heavy with frost and it showed each time you drew breath, the vapor chilling immediately in the polar atmosphere.
you tug your shawl tighter around you - a piece of fabric that you realized very quickly wouldn’t do much against the bite of the tundra. you thought you were ready for the weather - thought you were prepared for the manner of dress required for siberus, but the reputation of the ice world had proceeded even the nastiest of rumors. no one dared tread upon siberus ground - not in years, anyway.
but that wasn’t just because of its climate.
siberus was one of the planets utterly destroyed by “the great purge”. a distressing lack of life forms shown on your radar as you scan the horizon, save for the exceptionally evolved animals that could withstand the tundra. as soon as you landed, they’d immediately scattered across the snow and fled to their holes in the ground. you didn’t blame them; for as long as they’d been isolated, the idea of an intruder must’ve been beyond terrifying.
the council told you it was here. somewhere, in these thousands of kilometers of snow and ice, is the last jedi sickle.
a powerful weapon...but you argued that it was hardly warranted a visit to hoth’s much crueler and unforgiving sibling. hells, the empire hadn’t even dared visit. maybe they might have had they known the sickle was secured in carbonite. maybe they’d gone out of their way if that piece of information managed to trickle through their grapevine, but even then, was it worth their time? you weren’t even convinced it was.
it was described as “the poor man’s dark saber”. while the sickle was nearly impossible to destroy, it wouldn’t peel through anything like the dark saber could. no. the dark saber was somewhat of a mythical thing. the sickle, however, felt more convincing.
and for whatever reason, they had entrusted you to retrieve it.
they were the council of augusten, your home planet, blackened by night at all times. a symbiotic relationship with a bio-luminescent plant was, essentially, your sun - your star. this resulted in a tolerable, but irritating, daytime blindness of its natives peoples and creatures. and while siberus wasn’t exactly bright this time of day (especially with such a raging storm concealing your view), it was enough to make the vessels thrum tensely behind your eyes.
you’re one of the last! they said triumphantly, as though to sweeten you up. a survivor of the order! it is your duty!
bullshit.
it wasn’t such a strange idea that the council wanted the sickle. it wasn’t, by any means, quite like the mandalore legend of the dark saber. but it wasn’t just the power wielding the weapon itself brought - it was the kyber crystal within it.
it could power thousands of machines and harness energy for millions of resources. honestly, you hadn’t even considered the worthiness of kyber crystals for anything other than constructing lightsabers, but it made sense. enough sense that you felt obligated to fetch it from this frozen wasteland.
you talked a big talk about being able to find it. hells! you almost convinced yourself it’d be a piece of cake by the way you spoke with such confidence and bullshit conviction at the briefing. but looking out upon the snow-laden horizon - mountains and all - you suddenly weren’t so sure of yourself.
pride, as always, comes before the fall. as usual.
you even considered going back. there wasn’t a handbook for finding ancient, priceless, jedi artifacts. there wasn’t a tracking beacon for it either and your abilities could only do so much. you prayed to the force that, if anything, your connection as a jedi might be enough to conjure it from hiding. and, of course, that proved fruitless within the first half-hour.
you’re about to collapse. it wasn’t the night that shrouded you that almost did it; the darkness was your home - your element. you vision (very literally) fared much better in the blackness. the cold, on the other hand, was licking at your bones and causing you to tremble beneath your own weight.
it’s when you’re on the verge of making camp that you spot a figure upon the horizon.
not just any figure.
a person.
there’s a surge of motivation to keep moving. (strange, how that works...) whoever it is isn’t very far away - not even four kilometers. and if they’re searching for transportation it clearly isn’t in reach. they move at a slow pace, forcing themselves to walk against the bite of siberus’s gale.
when you’re in reach of this mysterious being, you yell out in haste. “hey! you!”
the figure stops their fight with the current of snow. they’re knee-deep in the tundra - you’re waist deep, really. and when you squint through the particles of snow, blinking rapidly to melt it away, you notice the shine of...
beskar.
“a mandalorian?!” you shout.
you shuffle closer as they remain still as stone. if they truly were a mandalorian, they’d certainly be on their guard - certainly moving for a blaster at their hip. you’re able to see their helmet’s face pierced upon yours as you step closer. how they managed to hear you, you couldn’t be sure, but it was a welcome surprise all the same.
you wrap your shawl closer around you, protecting your cheeks against the sting of cold. you observe the mandalorian (or what you expected to be the mandalorian) in their steely armor as they consider you for what felt like minutes. (too long in this damn climate.) siberus’s two moons allow the beskar to glint when the shoulder pauldrons move just right, a beam of light reflecting into your sensitive eyes. you hiss as a result.
“what is it you want?” the mandalorian demands, body now angling towards you. they’ve obviously come to the conclusion you’re of no immediate danger.
you narrow your eyes as the wind picks up, flakes of snow blurring this person until they’re just a speck against a backdrop. you don’t even consider your next words - you’ve always been too trusting. but something in this mandalorian’s spirit told you that they were harmless. in fact, they could prove valuable to this mission.
anything to get you off this frozen rock as quickly as possible.
“come to my ship! it’s warm!” you toss your head in the direction of where you came.
the mandalorian is taken aback. they recoil, physically, on the balls of their feet. who in their right kriffin’ mind would invite a mandalorian to stay in the privacy of their own ship? especially on such a deserted planet?
still, the mandalorian shouts over the wind. “why should i trust you?!”
there’s really nothing to do but shrug. “because we’re both about to freeze to death!” you point to their beskar that is, while impenetrable, starting to collect icicles. no, nothing could break beskar, but the mandalorian inside it could freeze.
this is enough to convince the mandalorian.
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:⠀ *⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆
you’ve made two cups of java by the time the mandalorian finally un-clenches his fists.
it’s a him. he told you by the way he moved - how his shoulders barely fit through the limited width of your ship’s entrance or how his voice rung beneath his helmet. still, gender didn’t really fit in your culture. gender wasn’t worthy enough to be considered important so you were hesitant of calling them either or.
it was when you kept dancing around the pronouns that he finally uttered, “i’m a male.”
you raise a brow, pouring the steaming java into a ceramic mug that had chips and stains on the sides of it. (the handle on yours broke after an upsetting landing from last mission. handles were hard to come by in this galaxy. a luxury, even.)
“oh?” you ask.
the mandalorian grunts, barely slipping his helmet past his lips to drink. you knew all about their creed so it came as no surprise when he immediately pulled it back down his chin.
“i know you’re augustenian. i’m aware of how your people feel about identity.” he pauses, lifting his head to watch your reaction. “male is fine. he is fine.”
it was kind - not blunt - the way this came from his lips. you allow a gentle smile to tug at the corner of your lips. “you knew from the markings, right?” you ask, motioning to the upside down crescent upon your forehead; it glowed a faint green in the darkness.
he nods a little. it’s hard to speak to someone when you’re unable to look into their eyes. you depended on the expressions of beings and it felt impersonal to speak to him now because of it. still, you weren’t one to question creed or faith.
“it’s hard to miss,” he replies, bringing his cup to the side of his body, and shifting between his cloak.
you raise a brow. “what are you doing?”
the mandalorian stills, aware that it may look strange if not explained. “i, uh...” he takes a deep breath and pulls a woven strap from his shoulder; a large, lumpy thing, that moves when he situates it. it even makes a coo’ing noise.
“did you manage to catch some wildlife?” you ask, amazed. you tilt your head, reaching a hand out to pull back the flap of the bag.
but the mandalorian grabs your hand in a brisk movement, clenching hard around your wrist. “don’t. he’s...” he sighs. “he’s a little jumpy.”
you furrow your brows. he knew the mannerism of this creature personally? it must’ve been a traveling companion you’d failed to notice. you pull away and nod, waiting for him to reveal whatever this thing was.
when a pair of long, green, and fuzzy ears pop out from beneath the bag’s opening, you shriek in delight. the little creature stares back at you, large black eyes rounded in the moonlight, and a curious smile beaming upon his kind face when he understands you are of no danger.
“what a precious little thing!” you coo. you reach out for him, fingers twiddling in anticipation. “may i?”
the mandalorian fixates his stare more heavily upon you. with a protective gruff he says, “if you try anything with him...”
you shake your head, bouncing a little restlessly in your seat. “i wouldn’t ever hurt a child.”
for some reason he seems to believe you but still hands you the baby with caution. when the creature’s little hands wrap themselves around you, a jolt of bliss surges through your body. you’ve always adored children and this really was a youngling.
but...he was more than that.
your smile fades slowly from your mien as you stare into his eyes, watching something unfold that the mandalorian before you can’t see. he’s sensitive like you. force sensitive. you can feel the way that the energy beats around him - like a dance - but weakening with every moment.
and then there’s an image.
an image you wished you’d never see.
younglings sprawled upon the jedi temple floor, their bodies mangled and bloodied from vicious crime. you find yourself turning away from his penetrating stare, brows furrowed in pain, when a collective scream of terror ricochets from a place very far in the past.
you weren’t there to see it in person. just in stories. as a survivor, the guilt haunted you at night. this was certainly...overwhelming.
“where did you find this child?” you find yourself asking, words barely audible through chapped lips. you didn’t even realize you were saying it until after it was done.
the mandalorian is quick to reply. “there was a bounty on his life. the empire - well, whoever they are now - wanted him.”
you find yourself gripping the child to your chest in possessiveness. “no. you can’t,” you gasp. “they’ll kill him.”
the mandalorian raises a hand to you in a show of sympathy. “i know. i didn’t give him to them.” he pauses, watching as you cradle the child in your arms and petting his long ears with tears in your eyes. “are you...”
you raise your head to watch him, anxious as to your next move. but you sputter out the truth like it was poison - like you couldn’t hold it in anymore. “a jedi,” you confirm. “yes. or...i was.”
the mandalorian is taken aback but the news registers him into silence. he observes the way you press the little one to your cheek and give him a small kiss near his eye. he smiles - albiet, sadly - beneath his helmet when the kid nuzzles against you in a show of affection, little claws wrapping themselves around your forefinger as though his life depended on it.
”i...” he hesitates, and then sighs. “i was quested to bring him back to his own kind. your kind.”
you’re aware of what he wants...what he’s trying to say.
“no.” you answer. “i can’t train him. i won’t.”
the mandalorian goes silent. through clenched teeth he asks, “why not?”
you look into the child’s face. he hasn’t spoken to you - not in the way jedi are able - but he’s given you an insight to his relationship with this man. and his fear was palpable - thick.
he was closing himself off. he was unstable.
you rub the child’s ears once more, finger and thumb warming the skin. “he’s cut himself off from the force. i don’t have the influence on him that is necessary to change his heart.” you sigh, placing the child in the mando’s arms. “i’m sorry.”
the mandalorian looks down at the child in his embrace as he snuggles against his chilled beskar without protest. “what can i do?”
you sigh, rubbing circles into your temple. what could he do? you had barely passed the trials by the time order 66 was executed. and most jedi were killed during the great purge. you were one of the very last - one of those the empire had not successfully tracked down.
but you were no master.
“there is a jedi...” you whisper. you wring your hands together in apprehension. “i’ve never met her. she’s called ahsoka tano. there are rumors she lives.”
the mandalorian is quick to respond. “how do i find her?”
“i don’t know,” you tell him truthfully. “her survival isn’t confirmed.”
the mandalorian grumbles under his breath. “dank farrik.” he sets the child back into his sling and tucks him to his side again.
you watch as the two of them stare at one another, both desperate for answers you weren’t able to give them. they seem to have endured a long journey - long enough that they’ve formed a bond you’ve never seen between a mandalorian and another living creature.
you sigh. “i’m sorry i can’t do more,” you tell him. “but at least stay and rest. you look as though you need it.”
he watches you between the slits of his visor and it’s unsettling that you don’t know the color of his eyes. that feels important to know about a person. he wasn’t a machine - he was a man - and he should be regarded as such.
it takes a moment for him to process the invitation. surely he didn’t get very many of those. while that wasn’t surprising it was still very upsetting; more upsetting than you’d expected, anyway.
you offer him your bed but he denies and tells you he’ll sleep on the floor. if you’d like to share with the child i’d be more than grateful, he tells you. you knew it was an honor to be trusted with this child’s life, so you accept.
in the morning, the storm has passed, and the child still lay in your arms after a night of peaceful sleep. you feel the mandalorian - whose name you never got - strategically remove the child from your limbs.
and just when he’s about to leave - he hesitates. you can hear his footfalls stop short of the exit as you pretend to still sleep for whatever reason. maybe you were afraid to look upon him again - that you’d find yourself slipping into a feeling you weren’t allowed to humor.
so you remain still.
you remain still even as the mandalorian wipes a strand of hair from your eyes, takes a deep breath, and allows the child to snuggle his nose against yours. he coos just slightly - a little goodbye - and it causes your stomach to drop to your knees.
you consider waking; to tell them you’d help find ahsoka, to say fuck it to whatever jedi order didn’t exist anymore and entertain whatever butterflies had tickled your insides when the mandalorian’s caress embraced your skin.
but when you open your eyes, they’ve gone.
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:⠀ *⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆ 
NOTE: i’m so sorry this wasn’t what i originally envisioned but i still like it! also, i’d like to go ahead and say - in case i didn’t make it clear enough - that mando asked for the child to sleep with reader because it would’ve been super uncomfortable for him to sleep on the floor.
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