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cowabungacatharsis · 5 months ago
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MOTHERFUCKIN MIRACLES, BROTHER
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askyancy · 5 years ago
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Story Time
Hey so I saids I would post some stories on 'ere so youse follow the #yancys stories ifin youse wanna catch em all! So uh heres de foirst one. Back when I was de fresh meat here at HTP dere was dis inmate named Bark. Met em like day t'ree and bumped into em every single day afta that. Deys was a big dude. Like. Big. Like 600 pounds in muscle! Always outside liftin the weights like deys nothin. Kay so like one day I was liftin, back den I was still a scrawny kinda guy ya know, my ma never really let me work out cos she'd always be coddlin ya know? So uh, heres lil baby Yancy tryna get some muscle to him- and hey youse bettah believe I got dat muscle too! Aint no stoppin dese guns now aheh... Er Anywayses Im liftin and Bark, he comes over with his buddies, sorta stops near me and I start to panic. I mean de guys a big dude! Youse dont get in his way no mattah who youses is! Im sittin dere like, did I do somet'in wrong? Am I in his spot? What I do? So I sorta stop and put em down and he's all "what ya stoppin fer!" And now Im all kindsa confused! Deys wantin me to keep goin? Whats happenin? Now I aint de best at talkin when Im noivous, my woyurds get all jumbled and I start stutterin so Im a stream o buts and whats and intoirnel screamin. Then Bark he kinda just picks up like...two weights up from what I was woyurkin with, drops it next to me and is like "Go big or go home kid" So now deys all watchin me, and I dont wanna make a fool o myselfs so I picks it up, its too heavy fer me. Liftin above youses level is dangerous to youses health so I sets it back down "I aint ready fer dat yet" I admitted, I was a scrawny dude but I didnt wanna piss dis guy off ya know? He just kinda stands there starin at me and lookin mad and den suddenly one o dem giant hands is on my shoulder and nearly breakin it clean off. "You can do it. Dont be a whimpy baby" he says to me. And I looks back at de weighte again and shake my head. I start tryna lift dat Im gonna damage my arms. So I tells em again. Aint ready for it gimme a month or so ta get dere. Deys start smilin and pattin me on the back. "Youre serious about it then?" Im all kindsa confused but I nods my head. "Atta boy. You got yourself a spotter. Get back to it" Now dis guys big, uh like I saids, deys fill up a good space o youses general vision ya know so... lotta folks now watchin n listenin to him pickin on dis new guy. So I just do as Im told, pick up de weights I was on and go back to it. Den Bark starts barkin orders at me, straighten my back, sit up straight, use my elbow not my shoulder dat sorta t'ing and everyone else goes back to what deys was doin. Ah Long story shoirt Bark ended up bein my first fitness trainer. Took me in under his giant wings and had me runnin laps, climbin the side o de prison, climbin up his back! Was pretty cool! Aheh... After a couple years he takes me aside one day, tells me dat he's gots family on de other side.... Deys waitin for em... Tells me dat anyone gives me hell dat hes just one call away. And den just like dat he's gone. Got Parole and never came back.... .......... Uh But youse bet I stayed on top of it. Gotta keep everyone in tip top shape ya know? And youse can see de results fer uses self I aint no scrawny dude no more aheh! But uh... I do wonder how deys doin now... Ya know? Er Well anywayses dats the story of how Yancy got a giant fitness instructor. Er.... Dese stories deys aint much ya know just... Lil somet'ins about me.... Er... Lemme... Know ifin youse want more.
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bytedown · 7 years ago
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==> Tell the truth
flippinoptimist hi i imight naut reply to big talky posts for a bit cause a friend showed up an im givin him weird confusion pie but im still here im just distracted unless you beep at me!
flippinoptimist wait i see the thing now!
bytedown
Oh! Alright, didnt mean ta be spotty, and you've not missed much, I got called away for a bit, an I'm not mobile
flippinoptimist i do that too sometides!  i get distracted easy but i try to remember to come back evventually hope it was for fun stuff
bytedown I try ta take fun where I can :)
flippinoptimist lol youre good at naut specifyin shit optimisms super great though, i think its important to findin all the secret cool endings when weird shit goes down
bytedown ..is it too terrible obvious I'm doin that?
flippinoptimist most people are kinda dumb so idk, but the clever ones that come from places where theres secret cops that blend into social groups and then arrest everybody w/ the wrong opinions are probably gonna notice or the ones from places where the wrong opinions get dudes killed in general youre p laid back an careful
bytedown LOL I aint a cop thats for damned sure
flippinoptimist lol sweet cause thats naut too popular a lotta places
bytedown Sounds like some real bad places, is that common?
flippinoptimist yeah p much i dont see it on dudes w/ green eyes often but life sure is sometimes most places have some p harsh lifestyles for whoevers on the bottom
bytedown Now that I'm real familiar with, though I'm thinkin my bottoms a bit different from th' one you're thinkin of
flippinoptimist
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bytedown Gonna have ta quit the internet now, laughin too much
flippinoptimist B) i mean i bet shits different it always kinda is, but im curious what your deal is aint a lotta trolls that know much about magic, an the smart dudes that know how to naut spill their private shit all over are usually worth noticin you have no idea how many dudes home coordinates i get from offerin to send free pizzas no strings attached
bytedown Now thats a wee bit reckless of them
flippinoptimist right i mean i dont do anythin w/ it but i like collectin coords just to see if i can
bytedown ya realize the irony of sweet talkin me into givin up my secrets by complimentin my ability to keep them?
flippinoptimist its terrible! im cool w/ whatever im just curious B)
bytedown I can see you're curious, an thats a bit dangerous for me, I didn' break th' nanny restrictions on this thing ta be shut up so soon
flippinoptimist im naut a big fan of shuttin anybody up
bytedown ya could just be sayin that ta be honest
bytedown I don't much know anyone around here enough ta judge whos safe and who isnt
flippinoptimist you got a point there.  for what its worth, though its only a side gig, im an occasional space pirate, an i grew up scroungin shit and sayin w/e i felt like, and fuck what the system thought about it youll get more trust online from the ones smart enough to notice what youre doin, if you pick details that you are willin to share -- real or fake -- and stick to em or dont mind sayin that you dont know who to trust, that works too thatll probably get you a lotta concern an friendly ears to be honest
bytedown ...
flippinoptimist aight, ill stop bein pokey, but i like talkin in general what kinda stuff is low risk enough to chat about?
bytedown I'm just tryina think
flippinoptimist like, non-identifyin kk ill bug my friend whose visitin some
bytedown I don't even know, cause theres details that're gonna not fit, I'm already havin that trouble what I'm worryin about is you know the folks I dont want things gettin back to
flippinoptimist i got that feelin, yeah
bytedown I live on prosperity, I supposed thats safe enough ta tell ya and explains some stuff
flippinoptimist sorry for steppin all up in your shit, i didn mean to, i just notice things yeah it explains most a the bits that dont fit an the parts you aint used to.
bytedown if I'm gettin caught I oughta know about it, so I can fix shit
flippinoptimist is w/e's wrong w/ your bottom
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somethin the dudes in charge could fix p easy?
bytedown you're weirdly fuckin charmin pretty sure they aint gonna care about my problems
flippinoptimist thanks, i like to think its my good side.  you seem neat too.
flippinoptimist ...yeah, if youre gettin caught, youll know about it before i say anythin.  im not promisin i wont yet, i dont know if you mean anybody harm, but like, youve been chattin in good faith so im gonna chat back in good faith have you heard about like, hemism yet? as a concept
bytedown I can fake that I know what that is real easy
flippinoptimist i mean, thats prob close enough for most shit, but like theres colors of trolls that, in most universes, get hatched slaves.  theres colors of trolls that, in most universes, get culled the second they peek outta the egg
bytedown Damn
flippinoptimist they hatched wrong, they get fucked.  an then theres colors a trolls that get the nice shiny pretty end of things. and theres dudes that rebel against the nice pretty shiny end of things and sometimes they win, and take over the universes they make and thats who sparks is.  he hatched into a not-people caste. and now his life is not like that anymore.
bytedown Dont tell him about me
flippinoptimist and like he spends a lotta his time an energy tryin to make things right for dudes in other universes... if you aint hurtin anybody i wont, but its kinda odd news to hear theres nasty shit goin down over there
bytedown fuckin here look
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Thats me.
flippinoptimist oh dude your wings are kinda like mine
flippinoptimist yeah there sure is a lotta people bein pissy about fae in prosperity, i can see how youd be tweaked.  nice job photoshoppin your avatar
bytedown Some of the castle folk are kind enough, but he aint one of them.
flippinoptimist he gets p mad about stolen kids
bytedown A pixie has never stolen a child I'll guarantee you that.
flippinoptimist fuckin lol
flippinoptimist yeah thatd take some practice and effort an a clever series of hammocks an slings an shit theyre called slings when they aint like secured to a wall, right?
bytedown Slings are for huntin, I think
flippinoptimist theyre the same shape but you would probably want a different word for the throwin kind from the carryin kind when theres a baby in it
bytedown dependin on the type
flippinoptimist that is one a those cases where you do naut halfass the distinctions
bytedown lol
flippinoptimist as long as you aint like actively plannin stuff thatd hurt my dudes, i dont got a reason to tattle on anythin grats on gettin to the cross-dimensional internet on your own, that aint the easiest thing i think theyd be proud and interested to meet you if they knew you did, but, your call
bytedown He swats at us, did you know? and yells a fuckin lot
flippinoptimist
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me in danger mode w wingles
bytedown blue eyes'll probably be mad about me stealin and retrofittin shit thats for proper people your wings're lovely, you're a very handsome lad
flippinoptimist i kinda want to tell him naut to do that shit since youre peopley enough to hack shit
bytedown I dont want him knowin about me
flippinoptimist yeah, aight. you mind me takin a coincidental interest in pixie shit that has nothin to do w/ anybody i may or may naut have met online? cause, he needs to be nice to dudes
bytedown Ya think he'll actually listen ta that?
flippinoptimist yeah
bytedown I caint stop ya from anything ya wanna do
flippinoptimist i mean like its super important to be good an im surprisingly attentive to that kinda deal, but when Grenades R Us starts tellin a dude to be more responsible w/ his shit a surprising number of dudes listen but like.  this is your shit and i dont got a right to meddle if you tell me to step off so if you tell me to go i dont say another word about it, and youre just a dude on the internet from a world a lot like prosperity
bytedown I don't wanna seem like I don't want some help, cause him not actin like a dick
bytedown 'd be nice
flippinoptimist not Not permission is p much all id need, i kind of go hunting when i find out someones been a douche
bytedown His partner likes us well enough, an set up a lil trade station. even if he doesn't seem ta believe we're literate.
flippinoptimist anybody like, talked to them about this? i mean i know that shits harder than it sounds when dudes are big and unpredictable
bytedown theres a wee bitty bit of a problem with talkin ta big folks An that has ta do with hearin range
flippinoptimist welp an illusions an shit dont cut it / arent an option im guessin
bytedown There was a real kind man who liked ta bake bread who was at the castle for a while, and he'd listen even though it was hard
bytedown Most've th' things I know how to do are for hidin, not for bein more noticable
flippinoptimist spooner?  human guy, hung out w sparks a lot?
bytedown yes!
flippinoptimist he was a guest a sparks, probably went back to his hive universe or somethin
bytedown It was a sad time for us all when he left
flippinoptimist lemme try an remember his blog
flippinoptimist hes been idle a while but you never know sometimes dudes come back after months a quiet http://cosmorobottips.tumblr.com/
bytedown ! Wonderful
flippinoptimist p much all the udes that have ever been through the castle have a blog or a trollian or both
bytedown Do Newsight and Suntouch?
flippinoptimist i know who would know and i dont mind askin quietly!
bytedown They're good people
flippinoptimist yeah.. i dont know em as much but i know one of newsights alternate selves a little bit he runs the teashop
bytedown They have milk and honey there (: We clean sometimes
bytedown You'd be surprised how many people will pay food for some cleaning
flippinoptimist theres a lusus in my hive that does the opposite of cleanin he likes rollin in dead things and fillin containers with sticks and leaves
bytedown That sounds like a bit of an adventure in not gettin sick from somethin
flippinoptimist i grew up outside, im good at naut gettin sick
bytedown Whats our definition of outside tday?
flippinoptimist i had a breather mask and a mud tent, an i swam down under trees on streams or into the sea shallows an burrowed into silt an slept there an came out when it was time to wake up most people do not think to look there
bytedown I lived in a tree hollow we cleared of deadwood, before I came to th' city
flippinoptimist an when you get good at it you can wiggle loose and un-mud w/o gettin much on you i lived in a big tree for a couple perigees...
bytedown how'd ya like th' tree?
flippinoptimist it was okay i think i like water or like, low-down skulky kinda lairs better
bytedown It'd gunk up my wings somethin fierce, I'm not a nixie
flippinoptimist they dont got a retracty deflatey mode?
flippinoptimist -- flippinoptimist has shared three contacts -- in order, those are newsight, suntouch, and twoblade the guy who is technically the city's diplomat right now
bytedown I'm afraid they're always out I'm grateful for th' contacts, you're a real chum
flippinoptimist that sounds inconvenient as shit and i mean, it seems like if im gonna give you kind of a scare an see straight through the cover story, its nice if i can like be cool too
bytedown terribly kind've ya
flippinoptimist B)!
flippinoptimist this one time, i decided to stop bein a dick, and its kinda stuck! im p happy about that, its been workin out for me
bytedown Seems ta be workin pretty well for ya!
flippinoptimist yeah!
bytedown Is there anythin you're needin ta know before you go pesterin someone out of the blue about beins he hates?
flippinoptimist has anyone Actually gotten hurt from him swattin, or just close calls?
bytedown We're fair fast, I don't think hes actually caught any of us
flippinoptimist good
bytedown if he'd actually hit one of us someone would've bit him
flippinoptimist yeah..an hed be kinda freaked out once he realised
bytedown Once he realized what?
flippinoptimist that hed been physically threatenin dudes w/o thinkin aboat it an did harm w/o realisin
bytedown Are you sure we're talkin about the same guy?
flippinoptimist cause like, "fuck off get outta my shit", sure, but "you have touched the coffeemaker pay in pain", naut so much yeah he gets yelly but hes nice once you get past that
bytedown The rules aren't always the same for us as proper people
flippinoptimist see that right there is the part that will make him tweak and decide to treat you exactly like regular people
bytedown What, because he found out I can type?
flippinoptimist hes a huge nerd, its a lot easier to notice smart people especially ones that are good at the same things that interest the nerd in question
bytedown :/ We're all fair smart, mate. Just too small for anyone ta notice
flippinoptimist yeah but as soon as someone does all bets are off and it is super fuckin easy to notice someone online where words are all there is
bytedown Th' elves know what we are an who and they could give less of a damn unless they need us ta do fine embroidery
flippinoptimist okay but like, also, fuck them
bytedown they like us for messengers too and th' like mostly
flippinoptimist have you heard a disruptive innovation
bytedown Cant say I have?
flippinoptimist like, search it real quick
flippinoptimist like its when a new thing gets made or learned, and it changes Everythin an fuckin Everybody has to move their shit around to adapt to the new way things are
bytedown sounds like an interestin concept
flippinoptimist usually its better tech -- "oh we have a cheap fast way to do this now, guess we'll stop payin hundreds of dudes to do it the slow way and theyll have to figure out new life plans" or science or shit -- "oops, everyone lives like twice as long as they dd before, we are gonna need a shitton new housing"
bytedown New types of magics do that sometimes
flippinoptimist ill bet!  sometimes like social movements or big political shit can do it too but.. thats basically what my deal is, or a bit part of where im tryin to aim what im about
bytedown You enjoy doin things that disrupt other things?
flippinoptimist yeah, kinda.  if it makes room for more possibilities than it tears down
flippinoptimist life is growth and change.  i got saddled with a destiny that makes me super good at bein smart and breakin shit.  sooo.... im gonna do it this way instead a the mean way.
bytedown They do say th' castle folk are gods
flippinoptimist theres a lotta arguin aboat that online sometides but yeah basically.  im kind of a half-formed young one that fucked up along the way, so i still gotta figure out a lot. i still dunno how the fuck prayer is supposed to work.  i will figure that one out though like i cant just Hear things.  i gotta figure out how to use magic to enable that
bytedown This's a lot ta think about, an I'm gettin real tired, its a wee bit late
flippinoptimist yeah i didnt mean to mess up your night or make it weird welcome to the outside internet
bytedown its a bit relievin not ta try ta pretend ta be a troll for a bit thank ya for th' welcome
flippinoptimist you might as well say youre a troll from one a the villages or somethin, they dont got good records from out there an prosperity is definitely v weird compared to other universes
bytedown I ah, cant lie
flippinoptimist oh, dang ... did you come from outside the city?
bytedown aye, I did
flippinoptimist somethin we could broadly describe as a rural home?
bytedown Ha, aye
bytedown I'll just say I'm from outside th' city
flippinoptimist then you wont get caught quite so easy w/ all the troll culture junk
bytedown Rest well, friend, and it was pleasant talkin to you
flippinoptimist im glad, you too dude!  good luck w/ your computery bits, if you ever wanna trade for junk hit me up most dudes online cannot get into prosperity even if they try, cause theres a like, lock on the universe to keep gross guys out.  it takes a password to get through.  im one of the dudes who can get in tho oh uh, bye, have a good one!
bytedown I'll remember that, though I doubt you could visit me, good night to you
flippinoptimist ill trust you on that one
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