#ain't no way someone like tom would have put up with all of this shit from a chick from st. paul i can tell you that much

[thegetdownrebooter]

i actually feel so vindicated by tom admitting to being a gold digger because i've been saying that since day one!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

if tom got the DADA job what would he have been like as a teacher? would dumbledore have tried to watch him/get him fired?

Tom's Not Getting the Job

Well, you answered it, anon, Tom was never getting that job.

That's the whole thing.

The first time he tries, he's only eighteen and very unqualified for the position. Dippet said no and... Dumbledore strongly implies that he put in a very strong word against Tom being hired. I'm not sure Tom would have been hired anyway, he was only eighteen and had no credentials and we're told canonically that Hogwarts teaching is a very prestigious position and they do not typically hire you straight out of school, but regardless Dumbledore did actively put in word against him which meant it probably wouldn't have happened.

Then some years later after Tom's gone abroad, Tom comes back for the interview with Dumbledore and the interview is just Dumbledore laughing at him and telling him he's an idiot for thinking he'd ever get this job and Dumbledore would never ever hire him.

So long as Dumbledore's around, Tom's not getting the job. Tom also either didn't have the connections with the Board of Governors or the Ministry/was too proud to use them to get himself that job (I'm inclined to believe the latter but technically we don't know for certain).

Tom was never getting that job.

Dumbledore wouldn't sit around waiting for him to get fired, because he already did it, he fired Tom by never hiring him. It's done. It ain't happening and the only way it would happen is if someone went completely over Dumbledore's head and there was nothing he could do about it.

Tom the Teacher

Well, he'd be in the staff meetings from hell (does Hogwarts even have staff meetings?) where every time they meet it's Dumbledore saying something weird about him regardless of whether or not he's up to shit.

I imagine Dumbledore would do everything in his power to give Tom as little authority as possible and make sure rumor's good and spread around the students that Tom sucks.

Given Tom probably isn't telling the world he's a half-blood here or the Heir of Slytherin, as he didn't seem to canonically until he came out as Voldemort/that's not a great thing to do when the Chamber of Secrets is right there and he was at the school at the time when that happened, that means the Purebloods don't like him but you also have Dumbledore's camp not liking Tom on top of that because Dumbledore doesn't like Tom.

(Now, if Tom's not becoming Voldemort, Dumbledore might not have quite the same following he does by the time we reach canon, as most of those people were involved in the conflict with Voldemort/that's what's most present in cultural memory in Harry Potter, but I imagine he's still very influential for the same reason he was such a lightning rod for the resistance movement in HP against Voldemort.)

Honestly? I see Tom being a relatively ordinary Hogwarts professor, he's probably a lot better than all of the DADA professors Harry had, maybe even most of his professors period, but he still has to deal with kids who don't want to learn and a system of magic people don't understand. Magic in Harry Potter is just memorizing spells, not how they work, and so the better wizards and witches are just those who memorize more spells faster. Tom can't make the kids who do this well do it any better than any other professor and he can't make the kids who don't do it well suddenly do it better.

It's also very out of scope to discuss how magic even works and start doing something interesting with it when it's something the wizarding world just doesn't discuss or deal with at all and will just confuse most of the students (even up to seventeen) that he'd be dealing with.

I imagine Tom hates putting up with Dumbledore and is just waiting for the man to retire or die.

[destinyc1020]

Hey there.

To the anonymous that brought up Taylor and Zendaya's rabid fans. I absolutely do think they both have talked to their respective partners about moving their lives forward, whether it be marriage or children.

I think people naively believe Tom may be the one pulling strings in that department, but people really need to listen at what Zendaya, especially at this time, is speaking on. I think she may want children even more so than Tom. Dont let that past Sway interview keep you clueless. That's why they call it the past. She was young, just turning 21, she's not anymore, and she's nearing 30. Mindsets are different as the years go by. Hearts change, and so do our thoughts on what we prioritize. You have to realize he had just done an interview where he stated he didn't even want children and then comes just a little bit of time down the road while filming and he had a change of heart, which I'm sure he didn't just have that on his own. Especially if they each feel like they've found the one they would like to have be the parent of your future children.

I always think on Vivica Fox, she literally cried during an interview stating she wish that she had not let life pass her by and had conceived children in her late twenty's early thirties. She stated she was too caught up in trying to get the bag that she literally kept putting it off and then she found herself later in life not being able to conceive at all then realized she was close to menopause. She balled and stated how that is the one thing in life she still regrets to this day. That's sad. Regret is a beast especially when people who don't really know you think they know what's best for you. Regardless, if we've grown up with her or not, famous people's lives are their own.

So, with that all being said, fans need to stay in a fans place. Including me, and just enjoy the ride, and don't dictate what you think or think you know what is better for someone. We don't own anyone. What they choose to do is what they choose. Just enjoy the ride and remain a backseat driver. 😁.

They are here to entertain us, and that is all. I guarantee if she or Taylor decides to have kids with whom they are currently with, you do best to be happy or believe me. They won't be showing the fans anything. Especially about their personal lives. They will be Olsen twinning everyone. We didn't know the one was pregnant until the baby was a month old. 🤣 I ain't hardly mad. 😆

I see the changes...in my mind, and only by observing the written word or video interviews, speaking on Zendaya, she may have removed herself from social media for work purposes, but I believe she/they have given themselves a timeline. She ain't trying to hear nor feel anything negative, like she herself states, " she overthinks. And she wants to please her fans in some manner, or at least hope they will be happy and stand with her on her decisions. Or dare i say try to understand her decisions. Remember... Law and Darnell are also looking to move their lives forward as well.

I smiled at the idea she had for Rue being a surrogate. But, I didn't smile long, I actually felt what a great way to hide a real pregnancy. I could absolutely see that happening. Especially if they put it in as a rape scenario since she owes the money and they sent goons to collect. She wouldn't know who the babies father is, and she decides to keep the baby. You'd hate to see, but that's real shit right there. That can, will, and does happen in real life. I've watched too much THE FIRST 48. THAT SHOW IS A BEAST BY THE WAY. I thought, damn if they did that, wow... talk about a 3rd Emmy. No one would have a clue. And once the season ended... look, who was expecting it for real. It's all farfetched... or is it??? Hmmm...

Anyway, theirs my rant. Love the Sunday confessions, I feel alot better. 😂

TOODLES 👋 👋 👋

YES!!! All of this! VERY well said Anon! I couldn't agree w/you more! Of COURSE Tom and Z have talked marriage and kids, etc. Tom wouldn't be telling the media something that he and his gf haven't spoken about to each other. Let's get freakin' real. So if he's excited about having kids, then obviously Z is too! She definitely wants children some day. I think that's pretty obvious. She's found the love of her life, and so has he. They're BOTH ready imo. Maybe now isn't the best time, but I think fans are naive if they think that they aren't going to be having kids lol...whether it's with each other, or some other partner later on down the line (but I'm guessing it's probably going to be w/each other lol🤭).

Btw...that's so sad about Vivica Fox. I never knew that. 🥺

[hepaidattention]

Nothing to Lose?

"Hey, it's what we've always said, right? Nothing to lose," JJ gave Kie a wink and revved the engine on his bike.

Kie placed a hand on the handles of the bike and stood right in front of the vehicle. She shook her head, her eyes meeting his with a teary glaze. "Not this time, Jayj. All those other times were because you weren't an option to lose. But I'm not losing you, okay? So yeah, there is something to lose, its you and I'm not about to watch that happen."

"Kie, I'm gonna be fine," JJ said with a little laugh and a smile, trying his hardest to minimize the seriousness of what he's about to do. He sat up straight and fixed his hat on his head, squinting up at the sky as he considered his next words. "Look, I'm not gonna go do some dumb shit or somethin', alright? I swear, it'll be a quick mission, in and out - no tom foolerly necessary."

Kie crossed her arms and quirked up a brow on her forehead, "Okay, then take me with you."

"What-? No, no way," he was shaking his head and putting his hands back on the handles. If it weren't for blocking his exit (because Kie knew him too well not to) he would have driven off the moment she mentioned her coming along.

"Yes," Kie argued, daring him.

"No way, Kie, there ain't no way. It's too dangerous."

"I thought you said it was gonna be a quick in-and-out type of mission?" her mouth quirked up at the corners, making it clear her plan was to get him here the whole time.

JJ sighed and ran a hand over his face in frustration, "Now you're not bein' fair."

"I'm not? You're about to go get yourself killed and you're acting like I shouldn't care, like you don't care," they've had this argument too many times to rehash right now. "I care, if you like it or not, so either I come, or you don't."

JJ was watching her, their eyes having another argument all on their own. His foot was bouncing up and down, his anxiety getting the better of him. Finally he said, "Dammit - fine, Kiara, but I swear to god if you get hurt," he didn't know what he would do, he couldn't handle it that's much for sure. He chose to leave it hanging, let Kie figure out the rest of the threat on her own.

"You'll what? Blame me?" Kie smirked and rolled her eyes. She sat on the bike behind him, wrapping her hands around his torso with ease. She gave him a peck on the cheek and said, "We'll keep each other safe, deal?"

He eased under her touch a little, nodding a reply. "Your folks are gonna hate me even more than they already do,"

"Well, then I guess they just don't need to know. We’re adults now, what can they do that they haven't already tried?"

He looked at her over his shoulder and she could see the evident concern in his eyes. She remembered the time when JJ really did have nothing to lose, it was him against the world. Now, sitting on the bike, getting ready to risk their lives for their friends once again, JJ had someone now that he couldn't bare the thought of losing, and that was her. It made her smile a little, knowing that they both had something to lose now: each other.

"Are we gonna get a move on?" she propped her chin on his shoulder and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

JJ held back a smile and wagged his head, his hands now revving the engine again. She gave him a little squeeze around his ribcage to let him know she was ready and they set off, out to be the safest either of them have ever been before, both too afraid to lose the other ever again.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hi Rumor tracking Anon I’m loving your tumblr blog, I have a question is there any truth to Markle super glueing a sorority pledge girls eyes during initiation/hell night ? I had someone on YouTube tell me this (I think it was book worm YouTube video) this woman claimed to be the head /dean sorority houses and she said that Tom sr. had to pay for emotional and physical damages in court and that it was sealed that’s why she didn’t graduate from Northwestern and why NO ONE from her sorority wished her well when she was engaged to Harold.

This is a tough one because it depends on what your confirmation bias is. If you think Meghan is the worst person to exist since Patrick Bateman (American Psycho), the facts support the rumor being true. If you can look at Meghan more objectively, you can argue either way. If you like Meghan or you think she's gotten a bad rap, the facts support the rumor being a lie.

Personally I am always skeptical of rumors that are essentially "someone said someone told them that someone said," especially when it comes from a gossip-style YouTube video or the comments of a video. I think these are great sources to learn rumors and see what kind of theories people have about the royals, but because these kind of videos never name names or show their receipts to let people follow up and verify their claims, I take what they say with a dose of salt and do my own research.

And my own research on this particular rumor is that isn't totally true. There's probably some truth to it, since all rumors are based on some kind of truth and the truth is usually somewhere in the middle. But I don't think the "whole" truth is this particular version of the rumor.

Since the truth is usually in the middle, what I think is more likely to have happened:

Meghan hated being in the sorority because she didn't fit in. (Bower talks about this.)

Meghan hazed the pledges, but it was probably by bullying them rather than assault (it's consistent with what has been verified about her bullying the KP staff). There were probably disciplinary actions involved due to her bullying.

The sorority doesn't celebrate her because she was a problematic member, if there were disciplinary actions. Meghan doesn't talk about the sorority because she hated them and if there were disciplinary actions for hazing, she would probably think it was unwarranted.

Holes in her time at Northwestern are similar to the experiences of people I know who had to leave college due to poor academic standing. Her present day behavior (flakey, no follow-through, no work ethic, can't write worth shit, plagiarizes everything, prioritizes social life) is stereotypically someone who squeaked through college classes.

Especially that Meghan couldn't pass the Foreign Service Officer Test and found the Living in the UK citizenship test difficult? For someone who prided herself on an international relations degree? It ain't mathing.

Especially since if she had straight As, she would've blasted it from the mountaintop because Kate's grades are public record and she would've killed to have hard evidence that she's the smartest royal.

Tom's substantial loss of money in the early 00s, which overlaps with Meghan's time at Northwestern, is either a bad investment or Meghan accrued a shit ton of debt from "free" credit cards or loans from predatory companies that prey on the financial ignorance of college kids. (And we know Meghan has terrible financial acumen still today.)

I give Meghan the benefit of the doubt on "gluing the eyelids shut" part. It's so bizarre and out there, yet it's also pretty specific too. I think someone was putting false eyelashes on and she gave them superglue as a silly prank (especially since people do sometimes use superglue for their falsies), didn't tell them it was superglue, and too much was applied. It's particularly plausible given how atrocious Meghan is at applying and gluing her own false eyelashes. Wimbledon Women's Finals 2018, need I say more?

That's the biggest thing that stands out to me and makes this rumor untrue. Of all the stories we know are true about Meghan, she has never been physically dangerous. She has always been emotionally and verbally abusive. The only instance of a physical assault that has been verified is the tea-throwing incident. Nothing else has been verified. There are plenty of other rumors but nothing's been verified.

If there's ever any verification of physical assault or a physical altercation, then I'll reconsider my position on this rumor. But for now, I don't believe it. I don't mind being wrong but I need more than "Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that Dean was told by Parvati that Hagrid is looking for you" to give a rumor plausibility.

But if you believe it, then you do you. It's cool. There's room for all of us here.

And also, Meghan graduated from Northwestern. Not with the degree she claims but she graduated. The school wouldn't be calling her a graduate or used her on their marketing materials if she didn't graduate. She wouldn't be printed in the 2003 Spring Commencement Program if she didn't graduate or finish courses. Northwestern wouldn't lie about that. They could get in pretty serious trouble from the collegiate accrediting authorities if it comes out that they graduated people who didn't finish their coursework. Trouble with their accreditation means issues with the NCAA/sports, rankings, and state legislature oversight. They'd lose a lot of money.

[littlewalken]

sep 16

Started in earnest to rewrite the Smallville smut, at least in an easier to read points made more clear draft. Luthors weren't quitters, Lex wanted to finish with the heads before they got to the tails.

Also playing with an idea of The Traveler is going to be publicly exposed one way or another so both Veritas and the Kents work to control the narrative. It's not that we have an issue with what you were doing, it's that it's with Lex and we just can't trust the Luthors. But it's not beyond the write out bits and pieces to save for later stage.

Felt bottom furniture scoots for floors are not the same as plastic bottom scoots for carpets and the person who ruined my carpet scoots is just making excuses saying 'that's all they had' and almost turning it around on me. I know exactly where the Life Ruiner got all of it from. And the LR would have turned it around on me, made it my fault, and... The bitch ain't here.

Perhaps I feel the way I do about some people because enough of my life was taken up by someone who behaved the same way and I no longer have to make time for that shit.

Looking up pictures of Tom Welling in a cowboy hat and watching kittens toot is more important to me now.

Or like putting together a fake album of songs Larry Saltis of the New Monkees/Colorvine is not allowed to sing in public unless the venue has flood insurance and trying to figure out how to explain to his aunt Margie that even if the band had more than 11 songs they'd always have to do The Way She Moves because Marty has a boner for it.

Do with that what you will.

Cutie Patooties become silver foxes so easily.

Just one empty book shelf and the bed to move out of the way then the dollhouse can find its corner and everything else will fall in to place.

Plans to go out and get carpet scoots, and look for a different arrangement than the dresser for my t shirts so then I light not even need carpet scoots but it won't hurt to have them, and/or looking at paint to repaint the dresser because it has some nice display space on the top for my big headed dolls named Robert.

When I get out the casting stuff, I do need to pull some positives, I should make a mold of the particular Umbrella Academy Klaus I have. The sculpt looks like him, and now that I have a polymer clay oven again that has opened back up to me.

Always try to use a dedicated craft oven for toxic plastic clay and don't bake styrofoam ever.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[mrs-hollandstan]

Heaven Ain't Close || Mob!Tom x Reader

Warnings: talk of depression, talk of mob tendencies, talk of not feeling wanted, kissing, brief thigh touching, suggestive actions, language

Word Count: 3,393

Author's Note: Soooooo, here's my mob!Tom fic I've been talking about for a while. This is the one with a wedding/dance flashback that I want to go more in depth with if you guys want. But I thought the whole *spoiler* diving across a table to kiss someone was cute. So yeah, lemme know what you think!

My Masterlist || Add yourself to one of my taglists

The very first warning when you came to New York was to stay away from the mob bosses. Of course... when they looked like Tom it was a little difficult. He was like the blackest of clouds when the sun decided to make an appearance on a stormy day. He was like a clear night sky, stars sparkling and dancing beside a full moon. The first time you met him, his eyes alone intimidated you to no end. Sitting in his office, surrounded in the darkest pieces of wood and carpeting, he toyed with a pen at the edge of the large oak desk, listening to you ramble before his eyes cut to you. They narrowed and you could have sworn your heart stopped in your chest. Against the heeded warning of roommates and friends and students around the university you attended, you started working as a receptionist for one of the most feared men in New York. Someone who didn't put up with anyone's shit. Someone who, with one glance had women scrambling out of his bed and men begging for their lives. He was the silent, deadly type that, equipped with the darkest eyes, could have whatever he wanted with a single, silent stare. But the relationship that developed between he and you was something that had his men, in pairs, looking to each other in surprise and awe. He had been a place to stay if it was late in the night and he didn't want you driving or he felt it was too dangerous for you to be out in New York. He had been a backup plan when you were low on funds. But he never let that happen. He was even your plus one to a friend's wedding which was an interesting situation. He'd agreed to the plus one rather hastily, opting for a black tie suit with your confirmation. Accompanying you to the nearest mall, he insisted on buying two wedding gifts that were honestly added to the registry as a good laugh. The look on the bride and groom's face when they unwrapped a full crystal barware set from Neiman Marcus and a cashmere Trentino throw would have humored Tom to the full extent and the call from the honeymoon had you rolling in pure giddiness. The night of that wedding was the first time you'd seen Tom unwind. It was the first time you'd seen Tom lose his jacket and tie, sipping drinks and watching the bridal party interact. The way the lights around you set his face in haunting shadows and his eyes danced across the dancefloor as he watched strangers dance with their significant others. When you stood and held your hand out, he looked you over, eyes lingering on the bare skin of your legs exposed by your dress before giving you a questioning look. "Let's dance." He hated himself for the way he loved to hear your voice. He wanted to hear you beg, but the adoration and playfulness in your eyes had him taking your nimble hand in his calloused one and following you out to the dance floor where he took you in his arms and twirled you around the other patrons. For once, just one night, he felt human. He felt normal. And he loved it. The way you rested your arm over his, hand heavy in his own as your bodies swayed together, melding with the music. No one paid attention to the both of you. No one knew who he was. No one knew the bad things he'd done and he could let loose. With you in his arms. And towards the end of the night, he cradled you close to his chest, your ear laid over his heart as you wrapped up the night. That night, he came to terms with having feelings for you. He came to terms with his stomach flipping and his heart skipping a beat when you entered a room. And even if you asked, he'd deny moving seats to sit beside you on his private jet just to have your head on his shoulder when you'd fallen asleep. Draping a blanket over your body, his heart nearly turned to mush when you whimpered in your sleep and pressed yourself closer, nuzzling into his shoulder. By the time he was shaking you awake, you were landing and he was off to do whatever he did before he included you in his business. But even after that, he couldn't hide the way his hand slipped between your thighs just to feel your soft skin in the seats of his all black, 1968 Chevy Comaro SS. Windows rolled down, driving fast down the highway just driving wherever, your hair tied back and out of your face. Tom had never thought you were more beautiful than in those few moments, but he'd never admit it. And you never told his men just for his reputation. Just for his business. You knew you couldn't be used against him as ransom. The feelings were there but the both of you didn't act upon it. He looked forward to Monday's just to see his receptionist. It was tradition for you to be on your computer when he came in in the morning, sliding a steaming cup of coffee across the glass table you were perched at with the corners of your lips quirking up when he thanked you quietly. And with business booming, he felt guilty dragging you into mission planning. But he asked nicely and you weren't one to deny your boss. "Okay." Tom looked up when you entered the room, announcing your presence with a sighed word, blueprints in hand. You didn't lock eyes when Tom stood and you spread the plans and blueprints across the meeting table in his large office. Strutting over, he gave you a look over, loving the way you looked in the pencil skirt and blouse clinging to your skin. Leaning in on your hands over the chalked over blueprints, you pointed to the front doors, "Some of you can enter through here. Not you though. The second you walk in this door there's... fifty guns on you." Tom smiled, watching you chew the inside of your lip. Cocking your head, you point to a large, ground level room on the plans, "This is where the newest shipment is. Gressoni just got an arms shipment and this is where it'll be." Pausing again, you sigh and point to a seemingly hidden door around the back, "And this is a maintenance door. This is where you'll go in." Looking up, you lock eyes and Tom gives a nod to show he's been listening. Circling the door on the prints with your finger, you look up again, watching Tom lean in on his own hands, "There's a hiccup in the system Jacobs can breach for about a minute before security is onto yo-" Your eyes widen when Tom nearly lurches over the desk, his lips pressed to yours. He kisses you for a few seconds before pulling back just the slightest, eyes darting all over your face. The deafening silence that rings through the now passion thickened room is nearly too much to handle. Tom licks his lips of your taste, "I won't apologize. That's been long awaited." You shake your head, the breath in your lungs stolen by the man standing before you that has a whole new look to him. Your arms feel like limp noodles as you process what's happened in the last minute, "I-I don't want you to apologize. That uhm... was nice." He nods in return, the feeling in the room shifting to nervous. Abandoning the blueprints, you stand straight and round the table slowly. Tom can't tell if the sound reverberating off of the walls is his heart pointing out of his chest or the sound of your heels. His eyes cut up to your own when you stand before him, "Surely we can't just... leave that there. What uhm...  where do we go from here?" He swallows, rubbing his clammy hands together. He shrugs, "S'up to you I suppose. I uhh... I've obviously just... showed you that there's something I have for you as far as feelings go but... if the feeling isn't mutual, that's okay." The idea of his feelings not being reciprocated actually breaks his heart. He's never not had a woman like him before. His heart stutters in his chest when you give a half-hearted laugh, taking that final step forward before your lips press to his gently again. This time the kiss is longer, his lips forced against yours as he presses you back against the table behind you, your bottom slipping onto it. He slips his fingers up under your chin, holding your face up to him. When you pull back to breathe, his lips travel down to your neck, kissing and nipping at the skin, "I can't... my boss... the one person I was warned against is making a move on me." When you scoff, he smiles against your skin, "Doesn't really matter anymore does it? You've got feelings for me, the feelings are mutual. Any friendships that would've been jeopardized because of me, are long dissolved by now then." His touch ignites your skin, fingertips grazing the bare skin of your legs as he leans back. He cocks his head, eyes darting between yours. You smile and his eyebrows furrow, lips pulling up into a smirk, "What?" He asks with a chuckle you've never heard before. It's like music to your ears and brings a wide smile to your own face. Jutting your chin over your shoulder towards his desk, you look back to him, "Can I sit in the chair?" He looks to his own desk, pursing his lips. If no one was in the room, they'd never know that someone else had sat in the boss's chair. No one would know another person had been in it. Looking back to you, he looks you over once before giving an unsure nod of his head. His heart skips again when you squeal, your heels clicking against the polished wood floor of his office until you're standing before the mountainous leather chair you'd seen Tom in so many times. The one that you'd fantasized about sitting in his lap in while he discussed business terms. You lick your lips, taking hold of the arm and turning it, seat facing you. Turning to sit in it, you eye Tom, hands tucked in the pockets of his black pinstriped, three piece suit slacks. Lowering yourself into the chair, you sigh, running your hands over the leather arms. His shoes squeak as he walks forward, "Worth it?" You nod, smiling up at him when he leans against the desk beside you, "So worth it. You have no idea how amazing this is. This chair is like... a dream. This conversation is a dream. That kiss was a dream. God you... if you had known how much I wanted you... how many times I wished you were something more than my boss when I was at my lowest points, you would've kissed me months ago." He cocks his head again, eyebrows knitting together, "What do you mean?" Finding his eyes once more, your shoulders slump, "Well I-I you know-" "No, I don't. What do you mean your lowest? Darling... what have you been through? I told you you could talk to me. You've known since the wedding you could talk to me about anything." "I know, I know, I just don't want to burden you. And if I'm being honest... you probably wouldn't have listened. You would've hear but you wouldn't have listened to what I had to say." "I'm listening now." He pipes up. You click your tongue and shake your head, avoiding his eyes, "Doesn't matter now." "Of course it does." Pulling his leg further up in the desk when he sits on it, he sighs, "Shoot. I'm listening now. Full focus on you." Picking at your nails, your heart pounds. His pressing scares you and you'd much rather not ruin your makeup with the tears that will inevitably fall, "Why are you pushing?" "I'm your boss. You don't hide secrets from me." "That's a double standard." "Fine, I'll tell you about all the babes I've bagged. You first though. You look like you need it." His wide smile fades just the slightest when he sees you're not amused, "Its alright love... you can talk to me. Here," standing, he rounds the desk, walking to the large door of his office, opening it and mumbling something to Harrison on the other side before closing it again and clicking the lock shut. Walking back to you with a sultry strut, he resumes his spot, "there we go. Continue." "What did you say?" You quiz questioningly. He smiles, "Told Harrison I was laying you out. He doesn't question." He replies with a shrug. You click your tongue, "Tom-" "I'm not though. We're just talking. Like I said, Harrison doesn't question." Staring up at him, he cocks his head and gestures his hand out, "Go ahead. Rant to me. I'm all ears darling." Sighing, you pick at a thread on the arm of his chair. Bringing a leg up to cross over the other, you swallow, "I uhm...  I dunno. I guess I... just don't feel like I'm worth anybody's time. I'm not worth your time. You're a busy man and I just... I don't want you wasting your breath on me." Tom cocked his head, "I dunno babe, you're pretty damn important. I don't waste my time on you. All those drives up the coast. That wedding we went to. The way I held you when we danced. All of that. I... I'm... in love with you Y/N. If wasting my time is what you think dating me is like... letting me lay you out is like... I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed in most of the relationships you make." "I know. That's... that's what I'm afraid of," he eyes you, watching you look down at your lap, "I haven't... had a boyfriend. Not really. I just... I'm not good enough for anyone. No one really likes me." Tom clicks his tongue but let's you continue, "I just feel trapped. I feel like my life is going in a circle and I'm... I'm not worth it. My life doesn't have any meaning." Tom's eyebrows furrow, "Darling... oh love." Standing, he holds both of his hands out. You take them and stand, a lump in your throat and tears burning your eyes. He sits in your previously reserved spot, placing his hand at your hip and pulling you into his lap. He wraps his arm around your waist, the other hand placed over your knee soothingly, eyes locked in yours. He sighs, his jaw clenching, "You're beautiful. There are a number of reasons that I hired you as my receptionist. You're beautiful, you're kind, you're calming, and the boys love you. They know that you're a sort of calming thing for me. They love the attention they get from you. Walking into all those business meetings? They love that. All that pizza you bring and the smile you wear. You seem beautifully confident and... I honestly... don't think I've ever felt the way I feel for you... for any other girl." He shakes his head, cocking it again. Staring down at him, he grunts when you slouch, your feet thrown over the arm of his chair. Laying your head against his shoulder, his arm binds around your shoulders, head rested over yours, "I don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that. You're beautiful. You're absolutely stunning and I can't imagine life without you. I think a piece of my heart would be missing." You don't move, eyes trained on the veins and ligaments pulsing from his wrist. He leans in and kisses your forehead, "You're worth it darling. And if you'll let me... I'd love to claim you as my own. In secret for now though. Until we can figure out this mission." Placing your hand over his shoulder, you wrestle from his grip, sitting face to face, "Really?" His eyebrows furrow again and he nods, "Yeah... hell yeah... I need a pretty little distraction. You're it if you want." Looking between his eyes, you only saw them swim in hope. Those same eyes that you'd been terrified of months before, were intoxicatingly beautiful. You wanted to get lost in them over and over again. You wanted to lay your had over his shoulder just as you'd done and be held in his protective arms, held to his chest when he was in a meeting. You slowly nodded, almost entranced in his coffee colored eyes. His smile widens, "Yeah? You sure? I swear to you that I'll make you feel like the only girl in the world. You'll feel better once you're with me. I swear. Okay?" You nod, his hand coming up to your neck, holding you in place as he leans in to kiss you again. He hums into the kiss this time, much slower than before. Almost in reassurance. When he pulls back, his lips are dark pink, his head cocked once more before his lips dance with yours for a few more seconds. He tasted like coffee and blueberry muffins, both of which you brought this morning, a favorite of his. Moving your head, your nose nudges his, a toothy smile erupting out over his features. You giggle, "I'm kinda into the forbidden love thing." Tossing your legs down to place your feet on the floor, he hums watching your body shift and move, "I'm kinda into everything, hips and below on you. Those legs." Licking his lips when you stand before him, his legs are spread, eyes locked on the little black pencil skirt that clings to your hips as you sort through the papers on his desk, "Where's the mission briefing?" His brain is consumed with all kinds of thoughts but where the mission statements are the longer his eyes linger on the back of your body. When you turn to look him in the eye, he suddenly breaks from his trance, "What? Oh... the mission briefing... right." He stands, not bothering to step around you before he finds it amongst the mess. Offering it to you, you look straight ahead at the door, a smile on your lips as his heat radiates off of him and straight into your body. He chuckles, his chest pressed to your back, hands braced on the table, "So... what now?" Turning your head, you look at him, eyes dark and playful, "I was going over the plans Mr. Holland." He closes his eyes, giving a labored breath, "Love it when you call me that. So sexy." Giggling, you press your hands over his splayed across your hips and stomach, leaning into his electrifying kiss for what feels like the tenth time. When he pulls back, you lick your lips of him, hands held over his. You stare into each other's eyes for a moment before he swallows, "Should get back to it then?" You nod, throwing your leg around his and stepping from his arms, "Yeah, I don't wanna be the reason you get shot. Being sappy and all." He chuckles, following you again, "If you tell any of those men before I'm ready to admit it... I'll kill ya." Clicking your tongue, his eyes travel to your waist again when you smooth the corners of the blueprints you had messed up, sitting on the desk, down, "What would you do without me?" He hums, tucking his hands in his pockets again, "Probably seize to exist. But I will deny it. I'll deny all relations with you." "Well lucky for you, I don't plan on saying anything." Leaning over the table when he steps the other side of it, Tom nods, "Good. I'd hate to make you disappear." Scoffing, his heart skips a beat at your sudden brazenness, "Yeah... make me disappear... who'd bring you coffee and muffins and who'd bring the boys pizza?" Glancing up, a smile breaks out across both of your faces. Oh yeah, Tom loved you. And you were most definitely staying.

Taglist: @embrace-themagic @delicioustommy @spiderman-n @winters-beauty @smexylemony @lolabean1998 @musiclover1263

[dreams-of-wings]

Impossible (7/8)

Imagine Billy Hargrove with a Mixed/Biracial SO

Warnings: SEASON 3 SPOILERS, Swearing, mild violence, angst.

The rest of the week flies by, with Billy weaning himself away from hanging out with Tommy and Carol and more to hanging out with you.

Billy actually learned a couple things that just barely helped him scrape by on his tests.

You passed with flying colors of course.

Now y'all are in the "real world"

Billy snags a summer job as a life guard.

You got a job at the hospital as a patient escort (the hours ain't bad, and it pays good).

You visit Billy at the pool sometimes, and you both still hang out on weekends.

Tommy and Carol don't hang around him anymore (because popularity status from high school no longer matters).

You're trying to help Billy move out of his house, but getting a place of your own isn't easy, so you manage to convince your parents to let him move in with you guys.

He has to stay in the guest room and pay rent though, obviously.

Billy still hasn't moved in yet though because he wants to save a bit of money before he has to worry about paying bills.

It's a smart idea and you support him.

For the most part your Summer is just working, hanging out with friends after work, and juggling the kids (Will, Dustin till he goes to summer camp, Mike, Lucas, and Max. You don't worry about Eleven because she isn't really allowed out of her house).

One day when the kids are all hanging out at your place, Billy walks in and treats the place like he lives there.

Just walks in grabs the milk from your fridge and makes himself a bowl of Cereal, before sitting in a stool by your kitchens island.

Thay all just kinda stare at him for a moment in silence.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Billy just rolls his eyes and finishes his bowl before getting up to go to the bathroom.

"Ah, ah! Put it in the sink!" You just happen to walk past to grab something from your parents room.

He doesn't fuss, throw a fit, or even act remotely annoyed. He just back tracks and put the bowl in the sink, filling it with warm water before continuing on his way.

Once you both are out of ear shot, Lucas mentions how he's glad the two of you are dating, because Billy's gotten a whole lot better. He's still an ass, but old Billy would have tried to scare the shit out of the kids for fun just for staring at him. New Billy was just annoyed.

Max acts like she's disgusted, not at the idea of the two of you being together, but just because Billy is her brother and she's just grossed out by the thought of him with anyone really.

"They are not dating!"

"They totally are, did you not see the way they just interacted!" Mike is whisper yelling.

"Yeah, it was actually kinda..." Lucas shrugged and looked at Mike.

"Domestic," Mike found the word Lucas was looking for.

"Nu-uh! Billy's just moving in, so he should know house rules by now." Max tried to justify what just happened, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, before sitting back into the couch with a huff.

"That statement really doesn't help your case."

"Trust us, they're dateing."

"Who's dating?" You walk in just then.

"No one!" "Mike and Eleven!" "Max and Lucas!" They all had conflicting answers to your question.

You just raised a brow in confusion at them.

At that moment Billy steps out with his red duffle bag and heads out for work, "Forgot I left my stuff here the other night," he explains as he passes you to the door.

The kids all look at each other, 'The other night?'

"Okay, there's leftovers in the fridge!" You call as he opens the door.

Billy pauses again and backtracks, closing the door, going to the fridge, and opening it. He paused for a moment as if searching, and then he pulls out a Tupperware container with last night's dinner in it, before putting it in his duffle and heading out again, "Thanks," he opens the door, "See you later!"

"See you!" You turn and look back at the kids, "Sorry, what were you saying?"

They kinda just stare at you gobsmacked.

"Nothing."

The kids actually make it there mission for a while to prove to Max that the two of you are together, but all they succeed in doing is getting caught and threatened by Billy to "Fuck off" and "take your sick jokes elsewhere." He doesn't appreciate peeping toms, especially when they're peeping at him.

Still kinda the same old Billy, just much less dramatic.

You notice something's up with Billy though after he gets attacked by the Mind Flyer.

He seems paranoid, tense, and almost bipolar.

You ask him constantly about it when you see him, and at first he tells you its nothing.

You thought his dad found out about him trying to leave because now he doesn't come around your house anymore.

You still see him at the pool, and he'll stop by, but he never stays.

He becomes awkward in conversations, like he's there, but not completely.

You wonder if he's depressed.

Then he starts avoiding you all together after Heather goes missing (of course you didn't know that she'd gone missing).

When you manage to corner him at the pool, Billy seems to revert back to his old High School self.

He's rude and tells you he wants you to stay away from him.

You're honestly really hurt now because you've made so much progress.

He was supposed to be moving in for gods sake.

Little do you know he's just trying to protect you.

You're the last person he wants to hurt.

He's already hurt one of his coworkers.

He almost hurt Mrs. Wheeler.

But you don't know about her.

When the kids try to spy on Billy, your house is the first place they go to.

Max has been sleeping over at Elevens house the past few nights, so she doesn't know he's been actively ghosting you.

"I dont know, he's avoiding me."

They of course thought that was weird, just a few days ago he seemed so comfortable in this house and around you, and suddenly he's giving you the cold shoulder?

"Did you guys get into a fight?" Max is concerned now because she's really hoping Billy is not the host. They're looking for Billy to do very un-Billy things as proof, and this- thus us very un-Billy.

"No, one day he was fine, then the next he acts like he doesn't want to talk to me if he doesn't have to, and now he's avoiding me all together!" You're actually getting very frustrated now.

"Do you guys know something? Did something happen? Is Billy okay?"

"No nothing," You still dont know about what's been going on the past year or so. You weren't there when they caught off the Demigorgon and you weren't there for the fall of the Mind Flyr either. They had to keep it a secret, "Max just noticed he hadn't been around you lately."

"Friends don't lie," Eleven doesn't like that they were hiding Billy's life being in danger. If something happens to him, you would be hurt, and it would partially be their fault for not telling you the truth.

They try to keep Eleven quiet.

Spoiler, it doesn't work.

So they have to tell you everything that's happened since Will disappeared.

You didn't believe them at first of course, but then Eleven shows you her powers and you start to second guess yourself.

It would at least explain Billy's sudden odd behavior, and why Will acted strange after he returned.

Of course you had always blaimed it on PTSD since you didn't know what the kid had truly been through.

Now you see it's much worse than you could have imagined.

So now your in on the madness.

The next place the kids go is the pool.

Shocker, he's there.

"Its too hot outside to be wearing a long sleeve," is your contribution to their debate on whether or not Billy seems like Billy right now.

"True, but light color cloths make it a bit cooler."

Also true.

None of you could see from this distance, that Billy us sweating buckets right now.

But at least the sun isn't hitting him directly, so he skin won't burn and give him another lesion.

The boys are talking about their plan, but your too lost I thought watching Billy to notice them leave you, Max, and Eleven behind.

It was odd to think that this person you were watching wasn't really Billy. He looked like Billy, but he didn't act or think like him.

When the boys come back then fill you in on the plan.

For the most part you're just hiding with Max, but you will come in handy if the real Billy is still in there somewhere.

You show yourself alongside Max.

Billy pauses for a second, like his mind is trying to comprehend that you're a part of this.

"Why?" He actually looks vulnerable and his voice sounds broken, till it slowly contorts into a look of anger and he starts banging o the door.

Your a little unnerved.

And your having flashbacks from back in High School when you and Billy still didn't get along.

He doesn't understand why this is happening to him.

Everything was going great.

He had a job.

He was working on getting out of his father's house.

And he actually felt like he had someone he could trust.

Then you had to go and do this to him.

That's when it occured to him.

He's been treating you like shit these past few days.

And he's done terrible things

Maybe he deserves this.

That's when he screams in frustration, anger, and sadness, before he starts sobbing.

"Its not my fault...."

"Please."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to."

He's pleading to you and Max with a broken voice and a broken spirit.

For once Billy looks the way he's always felt on the inside.

Desperate, alone, and afraid.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

"It's not my fault, I promise you."

You're the first to approach the door, and Max follows right behind you as she begins to question Billy.

"He made me do it."

When Max questioned him about who "he" was and what "he" made him do, Billy seemed to retreat into himself more.

The sight broke your heart.

After high school, Billy seemed better, and after he started slowly getting away from his father he actually seemed more confident- and not that fake ass peacocking he didn't in school either, like actual confidence.

But now he was fighting something he couldn't get away from.

He slowly lays down on the floor and continues to beg and plead.

He can't even say what he's done.

You almost open the door, till Mike and Eleven stop you.

Your almost on the verge of tears.

"He's my friend....."

"That's not Billy," Mike says sternly.

"He's hurt," you're trying to get them to let you open the door.

But you stop when Will tells you he can feel "him."

Mike backs of first and tells you and Max to get away from the door.

You're confused at first, but you see Billy just as he comes for the window with the piece of tile.

You push yourself away from the door, and take Max with you, saving her from being hurt by the thing posing as her bother.

When Billy manages to get out and starts hurting the kids, you call out to him.

He stops to look at you and you can see the real Billy in his eyes and in his lip that quivers slightly at the edges.

When El starts throwing him around the room all you and Max can do is hold eachother.

Billy had changed, and you all had gotten so close, and now you have to watch someone you have come to love get hurt.

It breaks your heart to see how desperately he wants to fight this thing. He's always tense, like he's trying to hold his body back, and the tear that trails down his face tells you that again, he's so sorry for what he's doing right now.

You're relieved when he runs off because it means that he can't hurt the kids, and they can't hurt him anymore.

Max is glad she at least has you with her.

Sure she has Lucas, but her friends never really liked Billy, so they don't understand why she cares so much.

You go to the hospital with the kids when Nancy and Jonathan take them along.

You pose as Mrs. Driscoll's grandchild as well.

It was terrifying seeing a pile of gore come to life and chase your friends down.

After you all got back to Eleven's house, you can't stop pacing up and down, and you're just making Max more on edge.

I mean who could blame you though.

Those guys at the hospital who turned to mush were under that monsters control, so what was keeping it from doing the same thing to Billy?

What if he dies a horrible painful death? And you can't be there with him?

Max tries to reassure you that everything will be alright.

After all, they've beaten this thing before.

Though it does sound more like she's trying to convince herself more than she is trying to convince you.

You sit down when Max and Mike get into an argument about Eleven. Honestly, after the night you've had, you've just realized how physically, emotionally, and mentally drained you are. You didn't even think you've slept in almost 24 hours - the kids came to your house, you went with them to the pool, you watched Billy till the end of the day when his shift ended, trapt him in the sauna (mind you it was already dark when the Sauna Test went down), craziness happened, went to Eleven's place so she could find Hopper and they could fill him in on what's going on (because apparently the Sharif is in on this madness too), and that's when Nancy and Jonathan arrived with their information on Mrs. Driscoll, and now your here.

Maybe it's been a little more than 24 hours... Perhaps you should lay down...

Meanwhile, Billy is off doing God knows what.

He's trapt in his own mind - completely aware of what's happening but he's unable to do anything about it.

This monster has taken control of him from the inside and the first few days it at least seemed like he had some semblance of control - like he was driving and the monster was sitting in the back seat telling him what to do. Of course at that point he didn't have to listen, but then it started showing him things. It migrated to shotgun and started messing with the steering wheel.

Now it just feels like it's in the driver's seat, but he's bound and gagged in the back passenger seat where he can at least see everything.

It was hard hurting those kids. He had promised Max he would never hurt her friends again, and honestly, because of you he and his little sister had grown closer, and he's actually been relatively happy. He had just been starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Hawkins wasn't so bad and he could stay.

Then shit hit the fan.

He had never seen you so afraid of him in the time he has known you. Not even when you both didn't get along in high school. Back then, you had more of a rebellious fire in your eyes, and no matter what he did to try and snuff it- to make you afraid of him, it only seemed to feed the fire. But back in the sauna...you looked petrified, unsure, on edge, afraid.

Ironic how now that he desperately wants to protect you and Max, you're both can't trust him.

Why is he like this?

Why does he always screw things up?

His mom left him.

His dad hates him.

He was a fuck up all throughout school.

He had shitty friends who, let's be honest, weren't really even his friends.

He hurt- maybe even indirectly killed his coworker.

He almost killed Karen. Oh God, Mrs. Wheeler. He regrets trying to get her to meet him at the hotel. He doesn't even have feelings for her - he just thought she was hot and wanted to get laid, and by an older woman at that. In fact, he had been on his way to meet her when he was attacked.

And now he's probably lost you and Max.

He feels utterly and terribly alone.

When you wake up, it's to the sound of El screaming. She's freaking out because of the vision she just had of talking to Billy.

The conversation about what she just saw was very sobering. You are wide awake now that the possibility of death looms over you, and the sound of screeching from the approaching monster in the distance doesn't help.

It found you.

You all get the house ready - shut the windows, close the blinds, block off possible openings and stand back to back.

You would feel much safer in a basement.

When it comes through the windows, you help Jonathan fight it off to the best of your ability, but you both end up getting thrown around the room.

Thank whatever supernatural being put El on this earth, because you all would have died without her.

Fast forward to you all going to Starcourt Mall

You help Eleven walk because she's injured, and since Steve isn't here, you're mom now.

Apparently everyone was somehow already on to fishy stuff happening? But what do Russians have to do with anything?

You're so worried about El, that bite looks bad. Like, infected bad, but it can't have been more than an hour or two since she got it, so it can't have progressed that quick.

You know something isn't right.

And you are proven correct when you see something wriggling around in the wound.

Props to El, for being so strong when Johnathan tried to remove that nasty thing, and then removing it herself.

They would have had to knock you the fuck out first if that were you- all the nope.

You all know what happens.

Part 8 will hopefully be the end. Idk we'll see, maybe I will get carried away and make it too long and then their will be 9 lol.

Like I did with this imagine. It was only supposed to be one part, but here we are going on 8.

I apologize for this part following season 3 so closely. As you all can tell I like to at least try and make my own content so it doesn't just feel like you're reading the show, and I think my struggles reflect on this part a bit. I have seen season 3 at least 4 times now because I was trying to find a way do this without just basically rewriting the season with the reader patched into it, but it was either this, have the reader just kinda loose contact with Billy and then find out he's "dead" (my denial is showing), or have reader become one of the flayed (let's be honest, not much would probably go on there). Plus this option has the most angst I feel.

Hope y'all are ready for the angst in the next part.

[ticklikeabomb]

The Language of Limbo - Part 3

Pairing : Chris Evans x Plus Size Reader ; Marvel Cast x Plus Size Reader

Warnings : Language

Word Count : 3.5k

The week went on just as the previous ones : wake up, prepare yourself, go train with Mason who you discovered was also hired as stunt man for the movie, go back home, have something small to eat and crash down on your bed.

It was so far, the beginning of shooting. You grabbed your suitcase and headed to the airport, catch the plane for Atlanta. The stewardess guided you towards your seat and you noticed that your neighbor was already there looking out the window. Taking a book out of your bag, you sat down, put your seatbelt on and shot off your phone. Not really fond of airplanes, your hands and nails gripped the armrest next to you, while you closed your eyes and waited for the takeoff to end. When the plane was stabilized, the stewardess came back and asked you if you wanted anything to drink. "Yes, some sparkling water please." She nodded and focused on the man seated beside you. You dived back in your book but couldn't help listening to what she was saying. "I'll bring it right away Sir and if you need anything, anything at all I'm at your disposal", she seductively claimed. You raised your eyebrows, surprised of her openly flirt with one of the passengers but didn't look further into it and continued reading. "It would be all", replied the man. Five minutes later, she put your orders in front of you and left abruptly. 'That was weird', you thought.

Another 20 minutes passed by when the man besides you cleared his voice and spoke to you. "I see you don't like planes." You lifted your head and looked beside you. There he was again : Chris Mothafucking Evans. Your eyes widened and you gasped, "Hey" He chuckled and replied, "I was wondering how long it would take you until you noticed that I was your neighbor all along but you were so concentrated in your book and didn't even looked my way once, that I lost patience."

"Sorry, didn't see you. Are you stalking or something? We keep bumping into each other all the time", you joked. He laughed louder this time before denying such accusations. "I could ask you the same thing", he smiled. "Nah, I'm not I swear", you laughed along. Now you understood why the stewardess was such a flirt. "Good. I guess we could take this opportunity and talk, get to know each other since we're gonna work and spend 4 months together", he suggested. "Yeah totally", you managed to reply smoothly. "Oh and thank you again for that lift the other day", he commented. You shook your head and told him it was nothing. "I hope you slept well then." You frowned confused and he chuckled. "You know, you said that you wouldn't sleep well knowing that I would take my car but since you dropped me at the hotel, you must have slept well." You gasped and replied, "You remember that?" "Of course I do", he said and leaned closer. "I told you I could hold my liquor." Having him so close to you, heat and shivers began to slowly creep up your body. Your only reaction was to nod and face your glass of water before taking a large gulp of it. Focused on your drink, you didn't notice Chris's smirk. You spent the rest of the flight talking about your respective lifes. It was nice to get to know the man behind the myth, without all the glam surrounding him, without hiding himself. It only made you fall even more for him. 

Since you were heading to the same place, you and Chris decided to share the cab and drove to the set. When you arrived, the staff showed you your trailer and informed that you were needed for the final fittings regarding your character's clothes. You dropped your things in what was serving you as home for the next few months and immediately headed to the clothing trailer, leaving your stuff for later. You greeted the crew and they gave you the clothes. After the readjustments, you marched towards your trailer when you crossed road with members of the cast. "Hey how are you?", greeted Scarlet, Mark, Jeremy and Robert with a side-hug. "I'm good what about all of you?", you asked with a wide smile. "We're fine", answered Mark. "We heard you had company in the plane", commented Robert. You chuckled and nodded, "Yeah, God news travel fast in here." They laughed and affirmed that they did but mostly because they've seen Chris before bumping into you and he told them you were on the same plane. "Anyway, I've got to go. Don't forget people, Downey town at 7pm", yelled RDJ while going away. "Downey town?", you wondered. "Oh and you too Y/N", he shouted and disappeared at the following corner. Scarlet circled her arm around your shoulder and whispered, "It's Robert's side of the set. He has like 5 trailers so we named it Downey Town. He invited the whole cast for diner." You gasped, "Oh okay. That's really nice." You were arriving at your own trailer and were about to dismiss yourself to take a shower when Scarlet told you she would come get you at 6pm and show you around the set. "Alright, thank you", you said and went inside.

You had two hours before Scarlet would show up, so you took your clothes out of your bag, disposed them in the small closet before grabbing your toiletries and heading towards the shower. Since it was still hot you decided to let your hair dry out naturally, put on a jeans and t-shirt with sneakers and checked your watch. You had exactly 10minutes left and texted your best-friend. A couple of days after the table read, they authorized you to tell your family and close friends that you were casted in the movie, so you immediately called Aaron and informed him of the good news. No need to say that he was beyond happy for you, best friends having the chance to be part of the same cinematic universe.

To Aaron : I've arrived on set. The flight was ok. You're never gonna believe who sat beside me.

From Aaron : Beyoncé?

To Aaron : Ha ha … *I wish tho*. The most righteous person ever…

From Aaron : Beyoncé??!!

To Aaron : Dude…Captain fucking America…well Chris Evans to be precise.

From Aaron : Ohhhhh H-I-M !!!

He knew of your long-time crush about Chris and used every opportunity he had to tease you about it.

To Aaron : Don't start. It was weird at the beginning but then we began talking and he immediately made me feel at ease. He's really nice and his eyes…god his eyes. He's so cute.

From Aaron : 😏😏😏

To Aaron : Alright I've gotta go. RDJ invited everyone to Downey Town. Kisses to the fam. ILY

From Aaron : HE WHATTTT? How come I've never been invited to Downey Town? Anyway, have fun and keep me updated. We love you too. Sam and the girls say hiiiiii.

You chuckled at his last message and shook your head. You opened your door, still looking at your texts and smiling and heard Mackie say, "Someone's happy." You smiled even more and greeted him, really excited to work with him. He and Scarlet showed you around, telling you where to find the make-up trailer, cafeteria and small gym disposed for the cast. "Awesome thanks guys". "You're welcome", answered Scarlet. You arrived at the famous 'Town' and holy shit they weren't kidding, because the place was huge. You were sitting beside Chris Hemsworth and Tom Holland and were enjoying talking to them, since you hadn't had the opportunity to do so. They were telling you the magic feeling of surfing and you listened attentively, captivated by the passion they were putting into their stories. "That sounds amazing." "It really is. You somehow feel free", mentioned Hemsworth. "But besides surfing, Australia is also amazing for their wildlife : koalas, kangaroos, crocodiles, their huge spiders." At the mention of spiders, your face crisped in disgust because you hated spiders. "Seems like Y/N doesn't like spiders", remarked RDJ. You shook your head, "Nah I hate spiders, they creep me out." You heard Tom gasp in shock. "The disrespect. I feel attacked", he said mockingly, to which Mackie rolled his eyes. "Ain't sorry", you replied back with a laugh. "Ohhhhh snap", snickered Mackie proudly and you laughed louder. "Come on Y/N, not you too", sassed back Tom. You only shrugged in amusement and continued talking with other actors around the table. Since it was getting late, everyone went back to their trailers because the following day was the first day of shooting.

Following day

You didn't get much sleep because you were too excited and found yourself at the small gym at the other end of the set to do some stretches. You thought that being that early you would be alone but found some of the actors already working out. "Aren't you brave, waking up so early", said Chris Evans. "I could say the same for you", you teased back. "Ready for your first day?", he asked more seriously. You sighed and declared yes even if you were a little nervous about it all. "I know what it's like. I was a mess on the first day of Captain America : First Avenger, but then it becomes a routine and you will get used to it, you'll see." You nodded, "I hope so." You let him continue his workout while you found a little corner, isolated and planted a mattress on the ground before starting your yoga session. An hour later, you head back to your trailer, took a shower and went to the makeup trailer. You greeted the crew and let them do their magic, while going over the lines for the day.

Elizabeth soon followed and you both talked about what's going on with your lifes since last time you were together. " Your sister got a baby?", she gasped after you revealed it. "Yeah, it's a little boy. He's 3 now." "Congrats for the parents. You must be happy to be an aunt." You smiled, seeing that little monster's face in your mind and replied, "Yeah, he's so cute, already a little rebellious but it's a child right?", you chuckled. "Of course and don't forget you got to be the cool aunt." You nodded and laughed, "That's true. He was no idea what's coming".

"Y/N, five minutes and you're headed to the dressing trailer", called out one of the director's assistant. "Showtime", you breathed out to Lizzie who crossed her fingers for you, "Break a leg." You give her a wide smile and exited. Your first scene was already one were you would have to wear your suit and you couldn't contain your excitement once you put it on. "Wow, it looks amazing, thank you guys", you told the dressing staff. They smiled seeing how happy and beautiful you looked and wished you good look. While marching to the shooting set, you crossed roads with Mason who was dressed in an Iron Man suit. His whistle caught the attention of the people around and you shook your head. "You look amazing", he told you with a wide smile. "Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself." You saw him blush a little and had to bite down your lip to not let the small chuckle escape your mouth. "Iron Man, hein?", you smirked. "Yep, what can I say I am indeed a Genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist."

Seeing him quote Tony Stark made you laugh loudly and again catch the wandering eyes of the people around. Mason was about to respond when Joe Russo called you. "Sorry have to go." Mason grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes, "Don't forget our training and you'll rock that scene. Good luck." You nodded, cherishing his support and thanked him. The Russo Brothers indicated you the position of the camera angles and their vision for the shoot. You listened to their details attentively and nodded along, saving their instructions in your brain. You walked at your standing point next to the original Avengers and took a deep breath. "And…ACTION". It took four takes for the initial dialogue and 8 takes for the fighting scene to get it in the box. "CUT !", the directors shouted. "Amazing start people. Lunch break before we head back at it, in an hour." You grabbed a bottle of water and saw the cast join you. "You did amazing dear, keep going", complimented RDJ and the others followed his comment with their own encouragements and how awesome your moves were. "Thank you guys, it means a lot", you breathed out with a wide smile. The day went by until late evening.

The days passed and you were getting more at ease with everyone, joining them whenever it was to tease someone or roast. Chris's (Evans) birthday was coming soon and you still had no idea what you would get him. It was hard to find something for someone who already had everything. You began asking discreet the others actors questions about his tastes or funny stories they could tell you. "Why all those questions regarding Chris?", asked once Scarlet with a smug smirk. Your eyes almost popped out of your skull being busted. "What? No, I'm not. Just trying to get to know you", you mumbled not convinced by your own excuse and seeing the face of Scarlet and the others, neither were they. You dropped the questions and tried to come up with something by yourself. One day you were walking beside Chris who asked you if you wanted to go over the lines with him. You agreed and he proposed to work in his trailer. He motioned you to sit down where you wanted and disposed a bottle of water in front of you. "Thanks", you smiled back. He dropped his script and phone on the table in front of both of you before asking you if you didn't mind if he left you for 5 minutes to take a fast shower. You gulp harshly, thoughts of his glorious body overflowing your mind before clearing your throat and replied, "Ehm yeah, no, no problem. You go do that."

He chuckled and fumbled through his dressing before heading at the back of the trailer. You took a gulp of the fresh water to cool you down, when the phone rang. First you thought it was yours but looking at the devices in front of you, you saw that it was Chris' phone. It wasn't your attention to sneak at it but saw his brother's name pop on the notification bar. That's when the idea of asking his brother for a birthday gift came up to you. You quickly grabbed your phone and went through Twitter and finally found Chris' brother's social media.

You hit the DM's button and wrote : "Hello how are you? My name is Y/N. This may sound weir but I'm currently working with Chris on the new Marvel movie. I'm really sorry to bother you and who knows, you probably won't even pay attention to this message but I was wondering if you could help me. I know his birthday is in a couple of weeks and was wondering if you had any idea of what he might like. I'm kinda lost here and really wanted to give him something that I know he will love. Here's my number if you prefer texting. Again sorry if I'm disturbing and I hope you have a nice day."

You were sure he wouldn't reply, probably thinking it was another fangirl, so you didn't made a lot of hopes in it. Chris got out of the shower and seeing your concerned expression he asked, "Everything alright?". You looked up to him and give him a small smile, "Yeah just a little tired is all." "If you want I can go over the lines by myself and let you rest." You shook your head, assuring him that it wasn't necessary. "Don't worry, I also have to go over the lines anyway. I don't know them by heart yet." He nodded and sat in front of you and began working on it right away. When you were done, you headed back to your trailer and checked your phone and saw a text from an unknown number.

Unknown : Hi, I'm fine. What about you? I confess that when I saw the message on Twitter I was skeptical but then I remembered Chris telling me your name and that you joined the production. It's nice to virtually meet you. Regarding me helping you, totally. Text me back whenever you have time. -Scott.

You were squealing in your bed, happy to have some guidance in that matter. You texted him back, thanking him for his reply and wrote down the small list with gift ideas you had so far. He told you that some of them were cool but that Chris already had them or did them, like the one when he was skydiving.

The past few weeks you and Scott hit it off, even texting randomly. He would ask you advice for personal matters and you would do the same. You could say that you were beginning to become friends.

You were currently training with Mason when Kevin Feige stepped inside the room, making everybody stop on what they were doing. "Y/N, can I have a second", the Marvel president said. You cleaned your face and marched towards him, your body slightly shaken, scared of what he had to tell you. "Y/N there has been a change. I'm really sorry to announce you this because you've been doing great in portraying Y/C/N but unfortunately, I'm forced to let you go and recast you." Your mouth opened wide, not believing you were getting fired. "You will still be part of the movie I can guarantee you that but you will be playing a minor character, a tech Shield agent to be exact." "Why?", was the only thing you managed to say. He saw the pain in your teary eyes and slightly bowed his head in shame. "It's not my duty to tell you the circumstances of this change but I can see how painful it is for you. Our biggest executive producer requested the change for someone else.I know this was a life changing opportunity but I had no other choice then agree to it"

You gulp harshly, hurt until the pain was subsided with anger. At this point you didn't care anymore and said, "May I say something even if this might cost my place in the production?" He nodded and you told him how you were feeling. "I understand what you're telling me and even if I shouldn't argue with that because I'm literally no one in the business to say something but it pains me. A lot. I know that one of the goals in the MCU is to promote diversity and including a plus size female playing such an important character with such an arc would have change a lot in the industry. Finally, plus size females would have had a figure, someone representing them and it's gone. It's taken from them."

"I understand your point of view but it will not change the situation. I'm giving you the opportunity to complete your contract by portraying another character. It's up to you now if you still want to do it or not", he replied back. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before exclaiming firmly, "I'll be the best tech Shield agent you'll ever see." He nodded and before he could state something else, the gym doors opened and you saw her enter the building. Goosebumps, the bad kind, raised all over your body and you breathed harshly. "Hiiii, have you heard the good news? I'm playing Y/C/N after all", spat Rebecca proudly. "Congratulations", you hissed back in fake kindness. You could see the mischief in her eyes and it made your stomach churn. "Mason", called out Kevin Feige. He sprinted to your group and heard the president tell him he would have to prepare Rebecca as fast as possible for the role. He frowned and looked back at you and saw you trying to hold it together in front of them. He was about to ask why when Feige cut him and said, "That would be all !" Mason nodded while clenching his teeth and Feige exited the room but not before handing you the new script, with your new lines. Rebecca stepped closer and whispered in your ear, "I told you, you wouldn't see the last of me. You see I made myself a promise. The promise that I would turn your life into a living hell and I think it's starting just fine." She winked at you before seductively sashaying over Mason. You were on the verge of crying and had to exit the room quickly. Mason shot you a pained and apologetic look seeing you exit the room before his features hardened once facing Rebecca who had a victorious smirk plastered on her face. "Let's get to work !", spat Mason rather harshly towards her.

You had no idea how, what was supposed to be the best moment of your life turned so shitty in matter of seconds. Little did you know that it was only the beginning.

* gifs not mine, credit to owner*

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[annaphoenix1994]

Horseshoe Overlook - Paying a Social Call

Four days went by as the coarse ropes dug sores into her wrists and ankles. She was still wearing the dress that she had changed into before her father was killed. She was only offered water early in the morning and food late in the evening. Her stomach constantly rattled, telling her brain that she was on the brink of starving as well as fatigue. She felt utterly weak and severely dehydrated. She leaned her head back as she felt another wave of nausea hit her, wondering if death would be a better option.

"What's wrong? Ya hungry?" She heard Colm mock as he sat in one of the chairs at the small table, counting heaps of money.

"Not too bad," She croaked, not wanting to give up her fight.

"Good, 'cause ya got a few more days," He smirked.

"Before what? You kill me? I can't wait." She rolled her eyes.

"No, before we turn ya in." He replied.

"I'm countin' the hours." She replied, looking up at the ceiling, wishing that those days would never come.

"Boss, you sure this is a good spot?" One of his men asked as he walked into the cabin, looking down at Minnie before giving her a sharp kick to the hip, rattling her wave of nausea once more.

Colm's brows rose as he put down the money he was counting, "We ain't been shot up yet, have we?" He snarled. "Besides, looks like her pa had some money stashed away in the chest there. Looks to be a few thousand." He chuckled, purposely fanning the money in front of Minnie, showing her that it was in fact the money she would gift to her father every time she came to visit, realizing that he never deposited it as it was stolen money.

She frowned as she remembered the thought before her hazel eyes stared daggers into Colm's, "That don't bother me." She taunted.

He pursed his lips as he didn't like being mocked by the only woman he wanted most. He thought twice about killing her himself after he had his way with her, but something about her emerald hazel eyes and her flushed complexion made him rise and he couldn't think of her feeling cold.

"What're we doin' with her?" One of his men asked.

"Few more days and I'll have you and Tom take her to Saint Denis and turn her in for the bounty. That money will be enough to get us outta this dump and somewhere nice. Sell her horse, too." Colm suggested as he finished counting the money before storing some of it in the brick of the chimney, keeping it hidden.

"And you?"

"I'm gonna finish countin' this money here and have a few of my guys follow me back to our other hideout to stash it. A place like this is likely to catch like a torch. Can't have all of it goin' to waste." Colm explained.

"Alright, boss. I'll keep a lookout while you're away," The old man said. Minnie looked at him disgusted as his thin brown hair and thick mustache coaxed his face. His brown eyes had the look of hatred in them as he did his best to be at the top of the pack, earning a special place in the O'Driscoll gang.

───※ ·❆· ※───

Arthur stretched as he awoke with the morning sun, embracing the cool spring air as it was his ideal temperature. He walked to the fresh pot of stew, spooning his bowl full before getting a tin of coffee, wondering what he was going to do throughout the day. He looked around to see what members were missing as they all had a few side quests and activities to do, seeing that every member, except Trelawny, was not present.

"Mister Morgan," He heard a familiar voice say, meeting him at the table he was eating at, taking a seat next to him.

"Yes, Miss Grimshaw?" He asked.

"Mister Matthews gave me a message for you, he said when it was convenient to head into Emerald Ranch. He's lookin' at a few business things there." Susan explained.

"Okay." Arthur nodded.

Susan chuckled, "He'll find something, too, he always does."

"That he does." Arthur chuckled.

"Well, you be well, Mister Morgan," She smiled.

"I'm always well, Miss Grimshaw." He assured as he put his daily token of gratitude within the camp funds box. With his tin of coffee, he made his rounds throughout the camp, smirking at Kieran Duffy still tied to the tree since they arrived in Horseshoe Overlook. 'He's damn lucky we picked out a tree with shade,' Arthur thought to himself as he walked up to the young man.

"Please, talk to them for me!" Kieran begged.

"You got some speakin' to do of your own... About that old gang of yours." Arthur taunted.

"I said... I told you... I don't know nothing!"

"That's what I thought."

"Woah! Hold your horses there," Dutch intervened as he was accompanied by Bill, walking quickly to the situation, afraid that Arthur was going to start beating the man. "It seems the cat has got our friend here's tongue. I was thinking Mister Williamson could have a word."

"You ready to talk boy?" Bill taunted, puffing his chest.

"I told you, Mister... I told all of you. I don't know nothing, okay? They-They ain't no friends of mine. I just been ridden with them for a while." Kieran explained.

"Horseshit!" Bill hissed, clenching his fists. "You see, we heard that part, so why don't you tell the truth? Dutch, what do you want me to do?" He asked.

"Hurt him so the next time he opens his mouth, it is to tell us what is going on!" Dutch commanded. "Ah, who am I kiddin'? One of O'Driscoll's boys couldn't open his mouth but he'd tell a lie. Screw it, let's just have some fun, huh? Geld him." He said, using his fingers to mimic a scissor to Bill, seeing that he was eager to do the deed.

"Oh yeah!" Bill replied, quickly breaking away to retrieve the tongs from the fire.

"What's he doing? Where's he going?" Kieran asked before Dutch pulled down the young man's pants, exposing him.

"Oh don't worry! They're only balls, boy! Just gonna cause you trouble!" Dutch warned. "You know, in Imperial Rome, eunuchs was among the happiest and most loyal of courtiers." He explained.

"No, no, no, no... You're kidding me right?" Kieran panted, his legs shaking as Bill was coming closer with the hot tongs.

"Of course." Dutch replied.

"You sick bastards! What do you want from me?" Kieran cried, trying his best to keep his legs pressed together.

"Well, you are going to talk. The only question is now or after we got these little fellers off?" Dutch explained.

"Okay! Okay! Listen, I know where O'Driscoll's holed up and you're right, he don't like you any more than you like him. He's supposedly at Six Point Cabin! He's been talkin' about it for months. I'll take you there... Serious," Kieran panted. His eyes looked around frantically, hoping that the men wouldn't continue their torture antics. He looked over at Arthur briefly as he never said a word while Dutch and Bill were interrogating him, regarding the pale look on his face as if he were worried, but he didn't think much of it. "I don't like him. I mean, I like him even less than I like you, no offense."

"None taken." Dutch replied, fanning off Bill to put away the gelding tongs.

"Okay then, partner," Arthur finally said, taking his knife and cutting Kieran free from the tree. "Why don't you take a few of us up there right now. I got this, Dutch," Arthur nodded, jerking the young man along with him as well as Bill. "Should be fun. Alright you, come on!" Arthur said as he shoved Kieran in front of him as he pulled up his trousers, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Bill and Arthur chuckled along behind him as they walked to their horses, "Let's both hope you ain't tryin' to trick us, O'Driscoll." Arthur warned.

"I ain't no O'Driscoll!" Kieran protested.

"But you sure as shit was," Arthur growled. "John, come on! We got a social call needs makin'! Where we headin'?" He asked as his heart was beating rapidly. Six Point Cabin, the same cabin the old man he met in town told him about. The same cabin that he associated with Minnie Barlow as the old man was in fact her father. 'He better hope she ain't dead,' He hissed to himself, taking out his anger towards the young man, still wondering to himself as to why he felt the need to be so protective over her when they never even officially met.

"Up into the hills behind Valentine, I'll show you." Kieran said.

Arthur groaned as he mounted his horse, "John, you take this little rattlesnake with you... Any nonsense, kill him."

"Sure." John replied, also mounting his horse.

"We're gonna pay your buddies our respects." Arthur mentioned.

"He taking us to Colm?" John asked.

"That's what he says," Arthur grumbled. "Come on."

'Off to rescue a damsel in distress,' Arthur thought to himself as he was hoping this ride to the cabin was quick.

───※ ·❆· ※───

Arthur's heart pounded as they approached the cabin, seeing that it was overrun with O'Driscoll's. He grew angry at what they had done, not even knowing if she or her father was alive or not.

"The cabin's in the clearin' down there," Kieran whispered. "There'll be a bunch of fellers hidin' out there too."

"Are these fellers armed?" Arthur asked.

"Armed. Drunk. Wary of strangers." He replied.

"And Colm O'Driscoll?" Arthur added.

"Oh, he'll be holed up in that cabin. Be passed out, booze blind, likely as not."

"Over there, someone's comin'." Bill warned as he motioned for them all to get down, John doing so by covering Kieran's mouth to keep him from yelling to his former gang.

"So, uh, who's gonna tell him we ain't got nothin' for the pot?" The men heard the strangers say from below the ridge.

"Let me think, the feller that spooked the game I reckon!" The other replied.

"I'm gonna drain it, I-I'll catch up," One of them said, leaning against a tree to relieve himself.

Arthur looked to John and Kieran, "Shh... Come on," He whispered to Bill, sneaking down the ridgeline.

"What're we doin' about the pisser, Morgan? The one by the tree?" Bill asked as they both took out throwing knives from their possession.

"He's yours, Williamson," Arthur directed, watching Bill nod as he easily took out the man before they both moved on to the pair of members waiting on him, also keeping watch on the camp.

"Good work. We movin' on the camp?" They heard John whisper after killing the two guards. "I left our guide up there. He's meek as a little lamb." John chuckled.

"He better be." Arthur growled.

"What about the one on the log?" John whispered.

"Kill him quietly, Marston," Arthur directed. "Get your hands dirty for a change." He teased.

John chuckled as he made his job look easy, hearing a 'Jesus Christ' from Arthur as he witnessed it.

Their stealth killings didn't go unnoticed as they were spotted by a lone guard, triggering the hail of gunfire in the quiet oasis of the wilderness. A few, long minutes later, Arthur finally halted his gunfire, insisting for Bill and John to start searching the bodies. "I'm gonna go search the cabin!" Arthur announced before being shocked at the discovery of Jameson's body hidden in the old wagon just outside the cabin. His heart broke as the old man had so much to live for, yet he wondered if the same happened to his daughter or if she had escaped. As much as he wished to rescue her, his mind immediately thought of the worst. He sighed as he holstered his pistol, walking up the steps to the cabin before being pushed down by the door, greeted by a smirking man and a shotgun barrel in his face.

Arthur accepted his fate as he braced himself for the blast, only to be halted by the man above him being shot. With a confused look, he turned his head to see Kieran shakily holding a pistol, shooting the man and saving Arthur's life.

"You alright?" Kieran asked as he made sure the enemy stopped breathing.

Arthur's breath hitched as he didn't even want to think that an O'Driscoll saved his life, let alone admit it. He lay his head back down, taking a deep breath, "Sure, thank you." He replied sarcastically before groaning to his feet, storming to the young man as he was soon met by Bill and John. "Colm O'Driscoll... He ain't here. You set us up!" He growled. "Come here!" He demanded as the young man slowly approached him with his hands up. Arthur was sure that if he was a dog, his tail would be tucked between his legs while he pissed himself.

"What?" He dared to ask.

"You set us up!" Arthur hissed.

"No, I didn't!" He protested.

"You did, Colm O'Driscoll ain't here!" Arthur argued, aiming his pistol at the young man's head.

"He was here, I swear! I sw- If I was setting you up, I-I wouldn't have saved your life," Kieran pleaded.

"It's a good point, Arthur," Bill intervened, putting himself in between Arthur and Kieran.

"Alright then, go on, get out of here." Arthur addressed.

"Eh?"

"I won't kill ya."

"I didn't set you up,"

"Get lost!" Arthur demanded.

"Get lost?"

Arthur's face wrinkled as he grew angry, grabbing Kieran by the collar, "I'm lettin' you run away now go on, get out of here!"

"That's as good as killing me!" Kieran argued, daring to walk back towards Arthur. "Out there, without you- Colm O'Driscoll's gonna lose his mind about this!" Kieran pointed.

"So?" Arthur scoffed, resting his palm on his hip.

"So I'm one of you now." Kieran addressed, pointing his finger at him.

Arthur sighed, scratching at his beard, "Give me a break. Aright then," He said as he walked closer to Kieran, pointing his finger in his face, "But I'm warning you."

"Oh, I know,"

"Come on, let's get to camp." Arthur directed as his immense heartbreak couldn't dare to handle the sight of a deceased Jameson and Minnie Barlow.

"So you got the cash then?" Kieran asked, stopping Arthur, Bill, and John in their tracks.

"What cash?"

"Yeah, there's usually some cash in the chimney. Colm always talks about it whenever he plans to take over someplace," Kieran said as he attempted to walk towards the house, only to be stopped by Arthur.

"I'll check it! Rest of you boys get to camp, quick."

"See, Arthur, I ain't so bad!" Kieran proposed.

Arthur turned on his heel, "Hey Bill, you tell Dutch old Kieran ain't worth killin' just yet!" The men nodded as they made their way to camp while Arthur was eager to search the cabin for clues of Minnie Barlow, only to be stopped dead in his tracks by the woman herself, tied up harshly to the cot post with her head tilted back. His jaw dropped as he assumed her to be dead by her pale complexion. He lost all moisture in his mouth as he was still shocked. He hesitated to take a step towards her, even though he didn't think she had any life in her. 'Jesus,' He thought to himself, feeling that it was wrong to search the cabin, feeling like he was robbing her.

He slowly moved around the cabin, the two photos on the hearth catching his attention. He grinned as he looked at the photo of Jameson and his wife on their wedding day before looking at the photo of Minnie as an infant. "Minnie Anna Barlow," He said to himself before putting the photo back on the mantle before turning back to look at her still in the same position. "Guess I'll bury you and your pa someplace proper," He said quietly, knowing that she wouldn't reply. He took out his knife, cutting the rope from her ankles before locating the rope tying her wrists together, finding that there was no rope binding her. As he realized what was happening, the cold feeling of a revolver's barrel was pressed against his exposed chest. 'Smart woman,' He thought, his blue eyes meeting her hazel eyes once more. His breath hitched as she was the most beautiful woman he had seen in quite a while, which was a long while. He didn't want to admit that no matter how beautiful she was, she scared him.

"I don't think so, cowboy," She hissed. She recognized his eyes immediately, but she didn't know what he was capable of and why he was there. In a way, she was grateful that he was, even in the unfortunate circumstances that were about to unfold.

"Woah, easy," He pleaded, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm not here to hurt you."

"Then why are you here?" She questioned, slowly standing to her feet.

"It's a long story," He sighed, shaking his head, hiding his embarrassment by the brim of his hat.

"What? You one of those O'Driscoll's comin' to finish me off?"

"No, we just killed all them O'Driscoll's, Miss," He tried to explain. "I-I met a man named Jameson in Valentine a few days back and he invited me up here to go huntin'. Well, a couple of weeks ago, we picked up a straggler that ran with Colm and were plannin' to use him as bait. We threatened to torture him if he didn't talk and he said that he knew Colm was plannin' to hide out here and I immediately thought of Jameson," He explained, his hands still up in surrender.

Minnie sighed, lowering her weapon, "Jameson is my father. Colm killed him. He was plannin' to turn me in for the bounty. I don't have much to live for anymore, just take me in." She frowned. As much as Arthur would've liked to have eight-thousand dollars, he couldn't bring himself to take her in, especially in such a fragile state. He could tell she was on the brink of personal famine as well as dehydration. "Do you want me to take you in?" He asked.

She nodded as she refused to look him in the eyes, ashamed of herself. He frowned too before daring to step closer to her, "You know what I'll have to do." He stated.

"I don't care what you have to do. Those men tossed me around like a ragdoll and I couldn't fight back. They starved me and tried to take advantage of me, only to beat me harder when I fought back. Please, Mister, swinging by the neck is far better than this pain I'm in now," She frowned, holding her wrists together, waiting for him to tie them together.

There was no way he was turning her in, but he wasn't going to tell her that. He looked down at the sores on her wrists before looking back at her delicate face, "Do you have any more weapons on you?" He said quietly.

She shook her head, dropping the pistol on the floor.

"Turn around," He said even softer, hating himself for even having to talk this way to a woman, especially one he was minorly attracted to, but he shook that thought from his head as he had to treat her just like every other bounty. He had no idea what she was capable of.

She nodded as she did as he asked, turning her back to him, hoping that he was just going to shoot her, but he didn't. She started to sob quietly as she felt his calloused hands gently grip her wrists, gently tying them back together, trying ever-so desperately to not cause more pain to her.

"Thank you for bein' so cooperative, Miss," He said as he started to guide her towards the front door. He was relieved that she didn't respond as the sound of her voice alone made his skin flush. "You have a horse?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah, tied up over there," She replied, her eyes fixated on the ground below. "C-Can I see my father?" She asked. His breathing hitched as he didn't know what to say. "I...Erm, I don't know where he is..."

"I do," She frowned, looking at her feet. "They dumped him over there - didn't even bury him," He nodded as his reply, simply following her to where she saw the O'Driscoll's dump her father's body. He stood back to give her privacy, but couldn't help the burn in his chest as he heard her sob after collapsing to her knees. After a few moments, he slowly approached her, seeing that Jameson's body had already started decaying. If he wouldn't have known Jameson by his mustache and clothing, he would've looked like a stranger. "Miss... W-We need to go. The law probably heard all of those gunshots..."

"Then leave me here. They'll come for me." She cried as he helped her to her feet, noting that she was weak.

"I can't do that, Miss."

"Why not? Have other plans for me?" She snapped. He understood that she did it because she was scared and no longer valued herself, feeling like she had given up.

"No, that's not it. C'mon, let's go," He said quietly, untethering her horse from the tree he had been tied to. "Do you have any belongings you wanna take with you?"

She bit her lip, "His banjo and the money I had left for him. I'll burn it before I let the O'Driscoll's get the rest of it... And some of my clothes."

"Okay, I can help you, but we gotta hurry up and get outta here," He warned.

"This I know," She replied. He nodded as he cut her loose, keeping the pistol he had taken from her in his off-hand holster, afraid that she was going to try to rob him. He helped her grab her essentials from the cabin, especially the two photos that were on the mantle that he remembered. He helped her put her extra clothes in a burlap sack, wrapping the two photo frames in a pillowcase to protect them before putting them in the sack too. She grabbed her father's banjo as Arthur slung the burlap sack over his shoulder, ushering her out the door of the cabin, hearing a few weeps coming from her pale lips as he couldn't understand how hard it was for her to leave her home, especially knowing that her father was still there. "You think you're okay to ride your horse?"

"H-Honestly, no. I don't have enough energy." She panted.

He nodded before turning around and picking her up to place her on his horse before tethering her horse to his own, putting her belongings on the saddle, tethering them with the provided saddle strings. He couldn't explain why he did so, but he had figured it was because he was selfish and craving a woman's attention, even if it wasn't intentional. His action didn't make much sense, but he didn't care. 'At least I asked her,' He thought.

"Alright, let's get you back to camp," He said.

"Camp? I-I thought you were takin' me in for the bounty?" She questioned, confused.

"You thought a lot of things, Miss. Remember when you saved my life on that train?" He questioned as he looked up at her from the ground as he was about to mount his horse.

"Yeah?" She questioned, holding brief eye contact with "the man in blue" as he had verified his identity with her as they have in fact met before.

"Let me save yours."

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tess

Ali: Ro just left Ali: She said she was going Home so keep a watchful eye out please Tess: What about you? Ali: I've got obs every hour, I'm good Ali: Reckon we'll be fit for discharge tomorrow morning Tess: I don't like you being there on your own all night Ali: I'm fine, there's a wardful, party central like Ali: You gotta look after the others Ali: Might need to commandeer the big room until Singapore Ali: I'll think of a way to make bunking in with Tom worthwhile for Rock and him Tess: You know what I mean, kiddo Tess: The others are fine and your da's sorting out the rooms as we speak Tess: No worries Ali: Good Ali: Good stuff Ali: I'm sorry Mum Tess: I know you are Tess: He's the one that needs to be. More than you Ali: Wasn't exactly part of his master plan, I'm sure Ali: we know its all on me, you were right before Ali: I was being selfish and chicken shit and not only did it mess up Ro like you said Ali: but it really fucked me over too Ali: Boo hoo Tess: He doesn't have one, it's half his trouble Tess: I didn't wanna be right Tess: Rarely do in truth Tess: I've got Ro, you watch out for yourself and the little bab Tess: We can switch whenever Ali: I don't know about that, clearly I've fucked something up royally for him Ali: I should've known better, been better Ali: It wasn't meant to happen Ali: what kind of life is she going to have Ali: and the others too Tess: He did that himself. You didn't get pregnant on your own Tess: You did know better that's why you made him put something on the end of it Tess: And you will be better too, 'cause that girl needs you to be Tess: She's got a family that loves her, she could do worse Tess: They all could Ali: We used protection Ali: why has this happened, mum? its not fucking fair Ali: yeah but she has someone who resents her existence too and i can't stop it Ali: and what if rio and junie lose caleb and all that family for good Ali: because of me and this stupid mistake Tess: I know, baby but life ain't never been fair to none of us. All we can do is try and balance up it up so the shitty end of the stick isn't the heaviest Tess: You can do that Tess: As for the others, say what you want about Caleb, and I have, but he loves the bones of them kids Tess: He won't leave them even if he leaves you Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: Again Ali: Take it whilst you can 'cos I won't be saying it once I'm out this hormonal state Tess: I've got a while yet then Tess: But yeah Ali: I just feel like the worst person in the world Ali: not only for what I did and what I didn't say Ali: but because, as much as I love her with everything I have Ali: I still can't help but regret her...being her, being his Ali: Don't tell anyone but I thought you might understand because of Ronnie Tess: You ain't though, you're not even the first person to make this mistake Tess: I won't tell anyone because I do understand Tess: Love can be enough, more than, but when it isn't, fucking hell Tess: Not a regret I wanted for you. Or me. Like Ali: I know but Ali: it feels wrong to even call it a mistake, like I'm putting that on her when Drew's already throwing enough negative energy her way Ali: I don't want her to feel it, any of it, ever Ali: but it WAS a mistake...and IS, I can't change it Ali: even with love Ali: how am I ever going to sit there and act like she was planned and wanted and that I loved Drew when I didn't Ali: at least you loved Ronnie's Dad Tess: I was a kid Tess: I didn't know what love was Tess: Not until her Tess: Don't lie to her. You don't need to be as blunt as that about it 'course but don't give him credit he isn't due, she won't thank you for it Tess: You can't change things for yourself but you can change how it'll be for her, make plans about and for her Tess: Tell her you love her and she's wanted, 'cause when you look back on this later, whatever happens, as long as you keep her you won't wanna change it for the world, none of the good memories Tess: Give her them Ali: But I'm just a kid too Ali: and I really love him, Mum Ali: I know Ali: its going to be so hard Tess: I know, and I'm not trying to make you grow up faster than you already are but it was different for me Tess: I didn't use protection 'cause nobody told me about it Tess: I wanted a family 'cause I didn't have one, no love, not proper like Tess: I had my head in the clouds and up my own arse Tess: You have so much more about you, Ali Tess: Not only the IQ Tess: And he's different too, whatever brush I tried to tar him with, he ain't Ronnie's da Tess: It'll be hard and you'll do it anyway, both of you, whatever happens Ali: That makes sense Ali: It wasn't all your fault either Ali: you know that, right? Ali: Thanks Ali: Got to, I know that, of course Ali: I just feel like all I've been doing is apologising and rightly so but I'm dying here too Tess: Yeah it was Tess: I wasn't young enough to pull that shit of not owning none of it Tess: There's a lot of shit I could've done different, should've too Tess: Let yourself feel it. You're not gonna get nothing else done 'til you do and when Caleb shows his face, which he will, you need to be ready for it Ali: Yeah but not all of it Ali: You gave me the talk, like, can't put you on my shit list like your Dad Ali: I don't know how I'm going to tell him Ali: but I did manage to tell Ro so, I know I can Ali: but fuck Tess: Yeah and you heard me, that time, you used protection Tess: That'd be the least of what my da is on my shit list for but whatever Tess: It'll just happen, same as this Tess: You can handle it and he'll have to Ali: Well no but if we're keeping score..lol Ali: He shouldn't have to though Ali: She shouldn't have Ali: ugh its so fucked Tess: None of you should have to but you are Tess: If I could take it on instead I would Ali: Gotta get my big girl pants on Ali: not that I wanna have any material touching down there yet Ali: gonna nick a few of these fashionable backless numbers Tess: Take what you can get, my love Tess: How'd the little 'un find it, not too stressy, yeah? Ali: Yeah, she's sound, hilariously Ali: No drama of that variety, unlike the last time Tess: Have a few more and they'll be falling out Ali: Probably not, eh? Ali: Shame Ali: Fancied breaking your record Tess: Don't even joke Tess: I've only got so many hands, ta Tess: And a doting nan rep to keep up Ali: I'm not Ali: that's the real tragedy, never mind you stocking up on bribe sweeties Tess: There's still a load of time Tess: You're not 20 yet Ali: Not if I'm about to be dumped Ali: I don't want them with anyone else like Tess: You don't know what'll happen Tess: Look at me, didn't expect to meet your da and have you lot Tess: And you can't speak for Caleb 'til he's had a word himself Ali: Yeah but Ali: c'mon Ma Ali: think we both know what's gonna happen Ali: Can hardly blame him either Tess: We've both been wrong before Ali: Never! Tess: Whatever you say Tess: Ain't gonna kneecap you rn Ali: Much obliged Ali: but seriously Ali: I'll leave you to toddler wrangling Rio now Ali: hahahaha Tess: Your son's the one Tess: He misses ya Tess: Fussy bugger Ali: Bless him Ali: Be Home soon Ali: swear I'm not milking being waited on hand n foot like Tess: If you didn't you wouldn't have a home to come back to Tess: Casually disowned for being a tit Ali: Ha Ali: Odlly not in the mood, got things to do Ali: You can tell the others as much as you see fit Ali: I'll fill 'em all in when I see them Tess: Fair enough Tess: See you tomorrow like Tess: Look after yourself you pair Ali: Will do Ali: not gonna ditch your precious grandbaby and dash like Ali: TTFN