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loservillepopulationtwo · 3 months ago

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MAGIC KAITO/DCMK - swap au - crack treated seriously

Toichi's final performance takes place when Kaito is 15

Snake is part of an international criminal organization obsessed with Immortality, He is basically in the stealing/pandora branch of it and this organization doesn't get caught because it simply cuts off any bleeding arm. Constantly moving never still enough to be caught

Snake and his gang weren't doing enough to mitigate the Kaito Kid problem and thats how Gin and the APTX ended up with them.

Gin had to use the experimental poison and take out some nosy brats anyways so it worked out for him

Kaito was unfortunately, there.

Kuroba Kaito disappears the night his father dies in a horrible "accident"

"AHOKO?"

Aoko turns around in a flash at the familiar nickname. The only one who used that name is... Wait why is that voice so high pitched-

She turns around to face a mini Kaito!? Oh and Chikage-obasan - oh poor Chikage-obasan

"Chikage-obasan... who is that?" Aoko is grateful for a safer topic than Toichi-ojisan

She must've came to Japan for... the funeral planning

"Oh, Aoko this is just my nephew! Isn't he just the cutest? Thought I might as will bring him here!"

Chikage-obsan has a sibling!? Or a nephew?!?

"You never mentioned a nephew!!!"

"I forgot"

Classic Chikage-obasan

The kid elbowed her in the knees but Chikage-obasan valiantly ignored it.

"What's his name?"

Kaito didn't think this far ahead... he really didn't expect to see Aoko during the middle of a school day! Why is she even home!? He just wants to pick up some of his stuffffff and clear out some Kid stuff he and dad had lying around before anyone finds it! Name- he can't just say Kaito right!?

"ARSÈNE!" "Faust" Both of them responded quickly.

"Dearie, remember that in Japan you use last names first? Sorry we've been in France for the last while!"

"O-ouias! Je suis Aresene Faust! Qui etait dans France. Avec... ma famille"

Kaito glared at his Mom. That's such a dumb name. Oh, it's just hitting him that he's going to go by that name for the foreseeable future. The glare didn't have the desired effect as his body was currently 5 but A+ for effort.

Sure, maybe his first thought was a Phantom Thief but he's excused. Besides a French name is good for his cover story! And that's why it was the first thing that came to mind, no other reason!

What the hell kind of name is Faust?! The twinkle in his Mom's eye gives him the thought that it's a joke he's only going to understand years later, like when Mom and Dad named him Kuroba Kaito and didn't even tell him why it was funny until he was 12.

Aoko didn't need much extrapolation on why Faust was in Japan, "Nice to meet you, Faust! Aoko is Aoko! Um... Aoko is sorry she doesn't know much about speaking French though Aoko has heard enough of it spoken to understand from Kaito-" Aoko paused "Have you seen Kaito-"

Mom shook her head- which makes sense because the Organization needs to think he's dead. Right.

Well, Kaito is sick of this conversation. Kaito, suddenly seeing an opportunity from being 5 physically, internally grinned- magicians are masters of misdirection!

"Mama- Ma Tante." Good thing he caught that slip up otherwise Maman (Faust is French, so Maman it is, better to have distinctions, right?) would never let him live it down

"Yes, Sen-chan?"

"Ma tante bien aimèe..."

"Ta très beau tante bien aimèe..."

"...qui promis une choco glacee pour moi"

"...Je suis en retard..."

"Tatei!" Kaito is in character as Faust, who would throw a tantrum.

'He must be very overwhelmed from all of this...' Aoko thought sadly.

"It's okay, we can go for ice cream together!"

"Your school?"

"Don't worry about that! I have off anyway! Let's get ice cream!" It was implied that it is sadness ice cream. Kaito at least thinks Aoko needs sadness ice cream, so that's his grand plan!

Chikage seeing an opportunity, dumped her child on Aoko and left.

No one was suprised by this outcome

Wait "WHY DID YOU CALL AOKO AN AHOKO!?"

Kaito plastered on his poker face while mentally sweating.

Aoko would absolutely punch a kid if it came down to it.

"Kaito-niichan told me about you!"

Thankfully, that made Aoko calm down, but it also made her face so horribly sad that Kaito had to fight the urge to do a magic trick to make her smile again. With a rose, preferably.

(Excusez mon francais- c'est ma quatrieme langue. actually english is my second so actually no one should make fun of any of my speaking words actually) (i don't have a french keyboard so i gave up accents halfway through, pardonnez moi)

Arsene - a french name deriving from the latin word stronghold and from the story (specifically not the dcmk verse version) of Aresene Lupin- a story of a Gentleman Thief yk how it is

Faust - a latin name meaning lucky, accompanied by a story that gets increasingly more plot relevant

Basically I wanted a name as dumb as Conan Edogawa except for Kaito lmao

Chikage: it's better to be seen with Aoko anyways so it'll cause less suspision

Yes, Kaito knows ab Kaito Kid since he was 12 in this. This is because Toichi told him since he was alive.

Also Aoko thinks Faust is Chikage's secret child that must have been visiting Kaito she doesn't know why she would hide a child tho... (a weird conspiracy part of her brain wonders if she had to hide the child because he's Kaito Kid's but thats insane! Just because Kaito Kid flirted with Chikage-obasan a million times at heists and they had some weird thing going on doesn't mean it's his!)

Chikage sends over a bunch of paperwork for 'Arsene Faust' the next day.

Private investigator Nakamouri does not want to take in a smaller magician brat! He, however, has no choice.

Kaito finally reunited with his beautiful card gun after leaving it at home for one day and then instantly getting poisoned.

Kaito knows about the guys in black who were doing all this. He needs to draw them out! Problem: he's 5.

Chikage goes to America after making sure Sen-chan (sen is a nickname for arsene) is set. (to do revenge. The Kuroba's all want revenge.)

Dr Agasa is thankfully still normal throughout all this so he can call him for things! He used to supply some of the tech for Dad's tricks...

Faust has to go to kindergarten. Because he's a child again. Right. Kaito is just glad he got a few weeks to adjust to being Faust- not that Faust isn't a magician as well so he mostly just pranked the police and make things it was a productive time.

Anyways, Aoko tells him to be normal at school with a glare- he has no idea why she thinks so lowly of him that he'd immediately do pranks (he will)

Faust mostly just wants to be left alone when he isn't actively entertaining them because talking to 5-year-olds like they're peers is weird...

Well except Hakuba, who is apparently 6 as it's his second time in kindergarten. And also in full Sherlock Holmes cosplay. And is constantly reading Sherlock Holmes picture books.

Hakuba is the son of some big Police guy in Britian and is here in Japan now. First Aoko now Hakuba, he's surrounded by too many children of police.

Keiko is determined to make friends with the silly transfer student who exploded the school on his first day. She tries to get her friends, class favorite Akako and Hakuba to go follow him so they can all become friends but Akako thinks thats lame and continues playing Witch in the sand pit.

Keiko used devious tactics to make Faust her friend- befriended Aoko (yes this is Aoko's bestie character in the show) and now Aoko thinks theyre adorable and Kaito can't let her down!

Wait, Hakuba has a bird????? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL GUY WITH 12 PET DOVES BEFORE!? HE LOVES BIRD ALL BIRD PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!!!

Instead, they stumble upon a murder.

Just watched his Dad die like a month ago, Kaito, is very concerned.

It shouldn't be possible, right? A locked box murder? Everyone is a suspect...

Hakuba helps by pointing out clues- the detectives ignore him but Kaito doesn't- which makes Faust have some realizations. Kaito is not a detective, he doesn't know how to investigate. But he is a Magician and was trained by thieves.

Kaito knows how to break in, he knows how to act like a performance and he knows how to play with the seen and the unseen.

Kaito doesn't knock anyone out and explain the deductions but he does points out the clues for Nakamouri-oji and Aoko He makes the culprits fall and make themselves obvious.

Kaito must have bad luck tho, because he keeps on finding bodies! These are not the criminals he was trying to find!!

(Around a month later)

Hakuba eventually notices what Kaito is doing after a few solved investigations and calls him out- and declares their group (Keiko, Hakuba, Faust, Aoko, Akako) the Detective boys!

(Aoko: I'm included in this??? keiko, genuinely: you're my best friend Aoko-neechan! kaito: we need someone bigger with police contact! hakuba: my dads a- kaito: and older people authority! akako: why am i included? Can I leave?)

(A few more months later)

Despite their classmates believing she is playing Witch she is not! She's the last true Red Magic Witch!

Her coven is mostly gone so it's just her and her servants and Lucifer. But she's not lonely because she made everyone in her class love her! With her magic!

Except that damn Faust!

Lucifer apparently found the name funny when she asked which is really meanie of him!

But she uncovered something crazy with her scrying- Faust is a weirdo because he's a magician! Whose also 15! She understands it now! Magicians are Witches mortal enemies!

(If her mother was still around she'd tell Akako that enemies is a bit of a strong word- thankfully she's not around so Akako will continue her path of murder)

Kaito cannot believe that after everything, the internationally wanted parents, international criminal organizations, surviving a poisoning attempt - it's a five year old witch thats going to take him out! Oh, this is so embarrassing for him!

Faust survives the attempted Hex because it started to snow over the circle (which was done in the school playground during recess in this)

Akako is so upset. Kaito defuses the situation like he always does: pretty words and even prettier flowers given in tricks.

Weirdly, the next day, Akako sits with the detective boys during lunch.

They all start hanging out together and Akako even uses her magic to help solve out murders.

Kaito is the only one who knows about her magic though. Like how Akako is now the only one in the detective boys who knows he's actually much taller usually and looks suaver...

Akako still tries a few ganders at Kaitos life but shes 5 he'll survive.

Kaito doesn't know he's infamous in the police station as a luck charm, no one weither good or bad, because whenever he appears there's a murder, but also whenever he appears it's solved.

It has been a year since Kaito Kid disappeared and now a new calling card got sent out.

There's been plenty of imposters over the course of the year, the more it became obvious the real one wasn't coming back. Usually, Shinichi doesn't care but the last imposter involved murder and that's a crime Shinichi can never ignore, so he listened to the annoying Kogoro-keibu and went.

He waited on the roof through the heist and as he predicted the 'Kaito Kid' showed up. After all it's the only exit available for him, everything else would be a diversion.

The 'Kaito Kid''s tricks weren't even that good, he was able to deduce through them all easily- it's clearly mirrors by the way. Magic is just fancy tricks and fancy gadgets...

The old man seemed shaken seeing his face and cried, "Bocchama!" And before Shinichi could get out a quip the old man barreled on a tale of how he thought "Bocchama" was murdered like his father the original Kaito Kid, how he thought the Black Organization got the both of them. How, apparently, the murder and disappearance were covered up.

He cried his heart out... to 16-year-old Shinichi Kudo. He may not be his Bocchama but he's a detective. And he needs to see for himself, he needs to solve the mystery of this organization.

"If Kaito-bocchama was alive he'd be the same age as you..." Jii-chan mourned.

6-year-old Faust suddenly sneezed. Maybe someone was talking about him...

Kaito was alive, but he wasn't the same age as Shinichi

Shinichi isn't a thief nor a magician, he doesn't know how to do that kind of stuff. But he is a detective and he knows how to deduce what one would do. He is the son of an actor and a detective and he gets something from both of them! He can act. He investigates the places as much as he investigates this increasingly obvious Organization.

He will bring them to justice. This is the oddest Murder Case he's solved- he knows what happened but he has no applicable evidence. This might be a tougher operation than he thought... For the meanwhile the best way to gather evidence seems to be pretending to be Kaito Kid with Jii-chan.

Besides! What's magic besides tricks and gadgets? He can totally fake it!

The papers think Dad's back. The papers think some random hack whose terrible at magic and instead using gadgets is Dad.

Some random guy with a tranquillizer gun and not even homemade flash bombs! The suit looks oddly authentic but that's about it!

This- this- THIS IS AN AFFRONT TO MAGIC!

Akako stop giggling this is serious! No, it's nothing like how magic is an affront to sorcery! This is just some random hack with chicken tricks! AKAKO STOP LAUGHING!

Anyways, Aoko-neechan. We. We need to go to the next Kid Heist! Am I fan (like Kaito was)? HELL NO!!! Aoko-neechan why are you cheering? What I don't hate him because he's a criminal I hate him because he's a HORRIBLE MAGICIAN!

Faust is going to prove this guy's a hack!

He tracks down the guy at his own heist and calls out all his poor attempts at magic. The guy manages to get away on his appropriated hanglider but he's going to get him next time!

Eh? Why is the newspapers talking about a KID Killer?

More exerpts:

Ekoda squad minus Aoko are all kids.

Aoko is now alone in hs sadly

the grade school teachers hate to see detective boys pulling up

kaito learns about alcohol temporarily acting as an antidote when his mom was in japan once 8 months after the poisoning and it made him big again

most people know ab the absurdly good disguise users in the family and no one is quite sure if it truly was kaito but most think not esp when chikage is in the country

the detective boys look so ominous to everyone else

kaito being kid killer is funny thats the end of my point

Aoko sees Shinichi walking with Ran in public during a Kid heist and for a second confuses him for Kaito before she chalks it up to grief

Shinichi sees an opportunity for someone who is bad at disguises and Kaito is wondering the rammifications of hitting someone in the head with a metal card sleeve through the hanglider while theyre flying (ITS SUCH A BAD DISGUISE TOO HE JUST DOES HIS HAIR. KAITO. IS OFFENDED. HED NEVER BE THAT LAZY NOT EVEN CONTACTS!?)

Some while after Kaito Kids 'return' Faust bumps into Jody and he finally has an ally who is also against the Org after the Red Tear heist (kaito was there not shinichi)

Beika squad are all teens.

Sonoko still is a Kid fangirl. Shinichi is taking psychic damage every 10 minutes

When Sonoko gets her boyfriend Makoto, after THAT heist Shinichi is more than a little scared of him

Ran wants Kid in Jail and Shinichi has to go 'haha yeah! Criminals are bad! but what if its technically vigilantism?'

18-year-old not shrunken Shiho is on the run after from the Org creating APTX is found collapsed by Dr Agasa

She goes by 16-year-old Haibara Ai at Beika High to hopefully throw off the org by lying about her age

somehow gets dragged into Beika squad, Shinichi is suspicious of her

After meeting Kaito she helps him out and is trying to find an antidote- the APTX isn't supposed to be a poison!

Kaito is recruiting Haibara against the Org. Shinichi is too busy being paranoid. He thinks Haibara is org and also Knows. He's looking for evidence as they speak. Haibara finds fucking with people funny

Not Teen genius detectives

the osakans. are 12 years old

i did this because shinichi has too many teens in his life he needs a dose of insanity

12 year old detective of the west

makes the heiji and kazuha shenanigans so much more funny. they are both violently 12 years old with crushes and both think its one sided

Shinichi is stuck babysitting a 12 year old who can see the future

Hakuba is also still considered part of the genuis detective squad and hes 7 years old in first grade reading a whole sherlock holmes book

Come to Japan with our genius detectives! We have an 7 year old, a 12 year old and their 16 year old vigilante detective babysitter

Shinichi goes to a sherlock holmes fan meetup and Heiji disses him for liking Sherlock Holmes saying its super overrated and also calls him out for being Kaito Kid

The Magic Lovers Murder still happens.

Kaito was Red herring before getting shrunk, and since no one knows his identity just continued using it.

He begs Aoko to go and also pretend shes Red Herring instead of him he says its because he doesn't want his cool online friends to find out hes 6. Aoko wants to make sure theyre not murderers or something. Kaito wanted to go to lift everyones spirits with magic, and unfortunately while peoples spirits were defenitely lifted by magic, it wasn't Kaito's magic tricks that did it.

Shinichi goes to warn Ran after the dead guy thing but is about to pass out from cold, thankfully Kaito as a MAGICIAN is always overprepared.

Kaito, whose been solving murders via magic for over a year now and Shinichi detective at heart both realize about the murders around the same time.

Kaito does realize Shinichi at the end when he's leaving quietly Shinichi is Kid but he thinks its a disguise anyways he hits the guy with a metal card sleeve.

Instead of a soccer ball he has his cardgun equipped with metal cards instead of regular ones.

#magic kaito #dcmk #detective conan #kaito kid #shinichi kudo #swap au #dcmk swap au #crack treated seriously #au #losers au

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