#ai sucks ass like i honestly don’t get why everyone is losing their balls about it

[yourlocalartsonist]

I was working on my fanfic one day, and although I was EXTREMELY FUCKING AGAINST IT, I was stuck at an area and decided to use ChatGPT to see if it could get my brain flowing. I was in 12th grade and even the teachers were tryna tell us how to use it “smartly” so I thought maybe I judged it too harshly and it was worth a shot. I wasn’t even gonna use the generated writing itself, just bounce off of it as inspiration.

So anyway I use the thing and prompt it to generate me a scene describing post-rainy weather. First off, it didn’t even get the weather right and just generated rainy weather. Second off, it was the most generic, dry, worse than beginner levels of writing I had ever seen from man or machine in my entire fucking life. I was in such disgust and disbelief ‘cause people were praising it A LOT back then, and the one time I decided to try it out I was so enormously disappointed. Like I’m not kidding you, I have never seen worse writing than what that stupid robot spat out to me AND I GREW UP ON WATTPAD. At least inexperienced HUMAN writing has personality in it.

I got mad, closed the tab, and wrote the scene myself like I otherwise would’ve out of spite at that point. Obviously, it was leagues better than what the stupid AI could come up with.

Moral of the story, don’t use ChatGPT for anything👍

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[tisfan]

So, I don't normally ask for prompt fills, but I've had a really rough night tonight. On my way home after a very long day, I ended up in a gridlock on the highway due to a fatal accident, and a 30 minute drive took me about 2 hours. So prompt: any pairing - there's a fatal accident, and the news reports that one of the Avengers was involved. Their friend/lover can't get hold of them and freaks out. The Avenger is okay, but their phone died (or was lost). There's yelling, then making up

That’s My Jam

There were plenty of things Clint loved about being an Avenger.

And he had plenty of time to think about them, because thisfucking traffic wasn’t going anywhere.

He started listing them in his head. In detail. And then, for thehell of it, in alphabetical order, just because Tony wouldn’t think that Clintcould manage that much detail. Suck it, Stark.

Being an Avenger was great.

Well, the hours kinda blew. And there was some sort of fucked upside of the universe that seemed to think that Clint shouldn’t be able to takea day off, because whenever he did, something always, always happened.

And then there was all the time spent in medical (and the timeavoiding the time spent in medical, because Clint.) Honestly, Clint spent moretime with bandaids holding his various bits together than he ever had before inhis life. And he was a certified adrenaline junkie with a history of epicallypoor decision making skills.

Okay, so maybe being an Avenger was less than great.

But it had some nice side bennies.

Like the fact that Clint would never, ever have met his gorgeous,smart-ass, self-satisfied, asshole boyfriend, if it wasn’t for the Avengers.Speaking of which, Clint would love for his gorgeous, smart-ass, self-satisfiedasshole boyfriend to come SCOOP HIM UP OUT OF TRAFFIC with his goddamn wingsbecause Clint had the car in damn Park and had for almost forty minutes now,and he was going to run out of gas if this kept up.

He pulled out his cellphone and punched the entry for BirdBrain2(Bird Brain was his nickname, and Tony had given it to him special, and justbecause Bucky had started calling Sam Bird Brain instead didn’t meananything, right? Right.)

Also, since he was bored and traffic wasn’t going anywhere anyway,Clint clicked the phone over to his Avenger’s comm unit and climbed out of thecar. He might get a better idea what was going on from the roof, right.

“Hey babe,” Sam said as he picked up the phone. “Where are you?”

“Traffic blows hoary goats,” Clint said by way of answer. Hecouldn’t see anything standing on the roof of his car. A few other driversblared their horns, like they thought Clint standing there meant they’d bestuck longer. Clint flipped them off absently. He gauged the distance betweenthe roof of his car and the semi in front of him. Ah, hell with it. “Rancid,hoary goats with huge balls and--”

He hopped down, grabbed his bow out of the back seat.

“Now there is an image that I didn’t ask to see,” Sam said. “Youknow that sex you wanted to have, ever again? Shut up now.”

There’s more below the cut. Or read on A03

“Okay,” Clint agreed. He eyed the bridge supports, turned andfired a zipline. He inhaled at just the right time so that the jerk and tugdidn’t make him cough and splutter and sound like an idiot. He pulled histac-goggles out of his quiver and slid them over his eyes. “Remind me to makeTony a pie.”

“You? Want to bake something. For Tony?” Sam mocked. “Need Iremind you of what happened the last time you tried to make cookies. And thatwas from one of those pathetic break and bake packs.”

Clint found it completely adorable (and a little sappy, pathetic,and heartbreaking) that he knew his boyfriend was grinning just from the soundof his voice. Take that, doctors who said losing his hearing was going to havea profoundly negative effect on his life. Of course, Tony had also donesomething about that, with an inner-cochlear implant. No more losing hishearing aids. No more wall of sound coming at him that he couldn’t sort.

“Okay, well, buy him a pie.” He squinted down the bridge. Asemi-trailer had shoved through the guard rails on the side. The loaded rig wason its side, the cab part of it hanging off the side of the bridge, attached byonly the fifth wheel coupling and a hell of a lot of prayers.

The driver was trapped inside and rescue personnel were trying tofigure out how to get the semi-conscious man out of the truck without sendingthe entire mess into the water.

Clint narrowed his gaze to the fifth wheel coupling and thetac-glasses shot up a ton of data onto the headsup. Including the fact that thekingpin wouldn’t hold for much longer under the strain, which would send the truckpart into the river below.

Blink. Click. Thirty meters below, which for a normal, unenhancedhuman, would be like falling on concrete. Combined with being trapped insidethe cab, which was not what one would call waterproof. Already injured.

Standard rescue wasn’t going to get there in time.

“Gotta go, babe,” Clint said. “Something in traffic needsAvenging.”

“Clint, don’t do anything stupid--”

“Aw, phone, no.” Clint said. “Can’t hear you, you’re breaking up,I’m going through a tunnel.”

“No, you are not, Clint! Clint!”

Clint hung up. He eyed the bridge again. Tapped his wrist guardand lined up an explosive, a zip line, and a net arrow. Nock, pull, release.Nock, pull, release. Nock, pull, release.

It was go time.

Sam was staring at his phone like it was personally responsiblefor betraying him. Goddammit, Clint. It was a thing. He probably saidit, or thought it, or thought about thinking it some fifty times a day, fromeverything as small as Clint forgot that toilet paper was a thing to Clintattacked fifty DoomBots with a bow and a killer smile.

If Clint was about to start a fist fight in the middle of traffic,that was bad, but only small bad. Lowercase bad. Aside from the whole he was anAvenger, and trained in lethal combat, and generally beating the shit out of acivvie, no matter how deserving, was going to be bad PR and then Pepper wouldbe all over everyone’s ass with her ridiculous stilettos and Clint wouldprobably have to do some charity events to get back into people’s good graces,and that meant Sam was going to have to do some charity events with hisboyfriend, because… because Pepper. Which was kinda okay, because Sam’s boylooked good in a suit, and watching Clint try to behave like an actualfunctioning adult was hilarious.

Especially around buffet food.

Except Clint hadn’t sounded angry and getting ready to go off half(or fully) cocked.

“JARVIS, can you bring up traffic cams near Barton’s location?”

“I can do better than that, Mr. Wilson,” the computer AI said,smoothly. “There are news cameras on site. Shall I bring up CNN or MSNBC?”

“Gimme both, why not. What the hell is he up to?”

News cameras for traffic wasn’t normal. Which meant somethingexciting was going on.

“... video from the scene shows a large section of damagedguardrail,” the reporter was saying, slightly breathless as she clung to theinside of a news chopper. The camera flicked over to her, hand on the clutchbar, microphone covering her mouth as she talked. Then back to the bridge wherea tractor-trailer was dangling off the side, driver held in by the seatbelt,but limp and unmoving.

“Level 2 wind restrictions were in place at the time of the incident,but there’s no word as to whether or not the driver was in violation.Forty-seven mile an hour winds have been causing no end of trouble tolarge-load drivers, but --”

The picture flicked again; someone on scene was interviewinganother rig-driver. “On a windy day, you can feel it, and you’ll be pushingyour trailer and your tractor to the left or the right, whichever way the windis blowing. You can actually feel it; it’s a hurting feeling and you know ofcourse I said a prayer for him…” The underpicture scrawl identified the driveras Charles Lattimore, long-time independent truck driver.

“... water temperature here is forty-five degrees,” the newswomanreported. “If rescue personnel cannot get the driver to safety, there’s littlehope that he can survive the fall. Hypothermia is a very real danger insituations like these.”

Sam squinted at the screen. Not at the rig, but above, on thebridge guidewires. A shifting movement caught his eye. He tapped the holo, atthe spot. “Can you clear this up any? Enhance?”

Yep. There was Sam’s idiot boyfriend, playing Spider-man.

The fucking news camera wouldn’t stay focused where Sam wantedthem to look. Did they not see that there was another player on the scene?

He caught a brief glimpse of Clint drawing back his bow, and thenthe truck was going over the side.

“Wings, JARVIS, now,” Sam snapped. Straight as the Falcon flew,the bridge was less than three minutes from the Tower. Sam wasn’t the onlyAvenger with a launch-pad outside the bedroom. JARVIS pulled open the lift andSam grabbed his pack, buckling himself into it without stopping his forwardmotion toward the pad. The door slid open without even having to ask, and Samwas airborne the instant his toes were clear, diving even as the wingsactivated.

Don’t let me be too late, again, Samthought. Prayed. Would have stopped to sacrifice a goat, if he could have. Samwas on first name basis with an actual god, surely that had to have some pull,right?

Half the truck was still on the bridge by the time Sam got there,but it wasn’t the half that was important. The cab, presumably the driver, and…where the fuck was Clint.

“Hawkeye, report!” Sam activated the voice-amplifier.

Nothing.

“Come on, babe, where are you?” Sam zipped over where the rescuedivers were already in place. He landed on the deck, listened to his wings foldup and the crew there were staring at him. “Did they go under?”

“We’ve got divers in the water,” one stunned crew woman answered.

“Get the hell off my deck,” the captain was bellowing. “I don’tcare if you’re an angel, an Avenger, or God Himself, you --”

Sam was gone already. His wings were not made for submersiblecombat, and even if they were, he didn’t have a rebreather. He wasn’t Iron Manin an airtight, space-worthy armor. He wasn’t Steve, who jumped out of planeswithout parachutes and could bench press submarines. He was just a guy with aunique skill set, who’d happened to make friends with exactly the wrong personat exactly the right time.

He and Clint had bonded a bit, over their normal-guy-ness.

Where the fuck was Clint?

“Oh, no, you are not goan be a normal guy and die on me now,Hawkeye,” Sam said.

“Ohhhh, Sammie,” a grouchy, rusty voice said. “You say thesweetest things.”

“Clint?” Sam pushed his comm unit harder into his ear as if thatwas going to matter at all. “Where the fuck are you?”

“I see you down there, hoverin’ around like you’re actuallyworried about me,” Clint teased.

“Clint. Where.”

“Look up, angel,” Clint said. Sam tipped his head.

Just under the bridge, suspended like they were Luke and Han inthat stupid Ewok trap, was Clint and what was presumably the truck driver.

“This? This was your plan? Get strung up like a Christmasturkey?” Sam snapped. Still, he flew up and landed on one of the bridgesupports. Getting Clint down from there was going to take a little more liftthan Sam had. Under extreme duress, Sam could carry Captain America, but Clintand an unconscious, injured truck driver was probably more strain than hiswings could handle.

“Hey, I had to make it up on the fly,” Clint said.

“You don’t get to make that pun, that is my pun and you can’t haveit,” Sam snapped. Oh, god, his chest hurt. “Why the fuck didn’t you answer mesooner?”

A second voice answered, croaky and soft and full of pain. “Mightahit him in the head. Didn’ know he was tryin’ to help. Sorry.”

Sam’s eyebrows went up. “You got punched in the head by someonewhose life you were saving?”

“Aw, story, no,” Clint objected. “And he didn’t punch me, he clockedme with the damn steering wheel. I have a damn steering wheel shaped bruiseon my forehead! Now stop hoverin’ around like the world’s most uselesshummingbird and get us out of here.”

Sam tapped his wrist comm-unit and opened a line to Stark. “Hey,Ironman, I need someone to do some heavy lifting here. Clint’s eaten too manypizzas and I can’t seem to get him off the couch.”

“Asshole,” Clint muttered.

“And you love me,” Sam said, sing-song.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

Driver Rescued when Tractor-Trailer goes over the side of Bridge

The tractor-trailer went into the water at the 1.5 mile marker onthe westbound side of the bridge. Driver Sal Bennet was rescued by Avenger’smember, Clinton Francis Barton, better known to the world at large as Hawkeye,who was caught up in the traffic delay caused by the incident.

Barton’s longtime partner, Samuel Wilson, was also on sight, afterseeing Hawkeye dive after the injured driver. Traffic is never fun, butsometimes, with Avengers around, it can be pretty exciting.

The entire team turned out to visit Bennet in his hospital roomand wish him a speedy recovery.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifth-wheel_coupling -- in case you don’t know what that is. I worked in a truckrepair shop for a number of years, so I saw them a lot

[scithemodestmermaid]

now for bethesda e3

my notes as follows, although i am finger knitting as well so we shall see how this works out

they showed footage from the fallout 76 marketing party in their butt-kissing montage

this year i’m just watching bethesda to see how they cover up the fallout 76 fiasco

pete hines, that’s a name i havent heard from since before fallout 76′s crash and burn.  

the audience is eating pete’s crap right up, have we really completely healed and moved on?

pete hines is in full ass-kiss mode.  like, even more than the xbox and ea folks were.

wow todd howard had the balls to get on this stage.

“incredibly exciting years, given how exciting it was we are surprised you’re still here.”  and that’s probably the closest to an apology we will get.

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE CHEERING FALLOUT 76.

“we got a lot of well-deserved criticism,” okay that’s a good start, “and now we have an amazing post-apocalyptic wasteland and here’s some more one-liners and ass-kissing and here’s the future and this is all we are going to say on this matter, let’s talk about the other games.” you started out so well todd, where’s the freakin apology for the broken games and shattered promises and doxxing?  how the hell did you take that scenario and spin it as a good thing.

wait, blades is in early access?

blades on de switch.    that’s good, because i really wanted to play blades and i doubt my phone could handle it.

i’m still impressed how giddy this audience is, like not a single shred of bitterness.

more fallout 76

millions of players?

wait that one lady screaming, that is the same lady who was screaming at this crap last year

wastelanders dlc guess what it adds?  human npcs and speech checks!  like what should have been in the game from the beginning!

but....but can we kiss these npcs? 

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FREAKIN MUTANT

i mean i am glad that full dialogue trees are back, also halfway decent speech checks. 

free trial on the game for everyone from june 10-17.  that’s nice.

also, battle royale mode.  but here’s the great part, it seems that it is hosted by a cold-voiced AI.  i’m on-turned, personally.

i’m tempted to give the trial a go, but i also just wanna wait until it comes to steam.

speaking of, are you guys gonna say when it comes to steam?  no?  ok.

todd kissing his company’s ass some more.

and the audience’s.

a new game out of nowhere, ghostwire tokyo.

the girl doing this announcement is adorable and doing really well seeing as how she apparently doesn’t speak english, and she has sold this game for me and i don’t even know what it is about.

more asskissing!  hey, how about instead of making us forget your mistakes and distasters from the past year by buttering us up, you fucking apologize.

elder scrolls online, and the guy who worked on the game can’t even call the khajit by their name.

i still like how they went against the lore they came up with by having dragons just show up even though the skyrim lore says they shouldn’t have been there at that point.

also the dragons are just mindless beasts instead of the nuanced warrior kings from skyrim.

the khajit looks astounding though, so thats good.

THIS KHAJIT SHOULD BE A MAJOR CHARACTER IN A SINGLEPLAYER GAME, THEY’RE WASTED ON THIS MMO TRAILER

audience needs to shut up, none of this is THAT exciting.

“scalebreaker” ONE ASSHOLE LOSES HIS MIND EVEN THOUGH NOBODY KNOWS WHAT SCALEBREAKER EVEN IS ABOUT

new game to be premiered, right now.

“classic saturday morning cartoon in free to play mobile game form?”  okay, impress me.  “ITS COMMANDER KEEN”  wow, i didn’t even play commander keen as a kid and this is hurting my childhood.

what the heck is this gameplay?

“at bethesda we, like you, enjoy  mobile games.”  ummmmmmm, yeah not really.  i uninstalled shelter a while back.

and now legends, with a really stupid looking live action trailer.  they spent money on this.  money that couldve have been used towards game making.

dragons again.

if you’re looking for a card game that is a bit more difficult, you could friggin play artifact but everybody butthurted out of that so nvm here’s our overhyped card game instead.

rage 2.  that game came out already?

lol iits so quirky and funny, it’s great love us love our game

wolfenstein.

the two games they announced last year, let us just remind you all they exist.

the vr game and the co-op game with the guy’s twin daughters.

coming out a few days before my birthday, though.  thanks bethesda?

wait its the dishonored devs.

wait the hell is this?

is that dave fennoy again?

so is this a time loop battle royale?

Deathloop. two people constantly fighting, story-driven, and lots of ways to approach things.  but nothing else even explained about it.

more.  ass.  kissing.  now they are saying about how games made them less introverted and dumb stuff.

the director of bethesda publishing is saying that they’re the inventors of the fps, when really they just freakin bought the people who invented.

also they were low-key bragging about creation club.

new tech for game streaming called orion.

it is an integrated streaming device?

they’re streaming from the computer to a mobile phone, and honestly that really looked like it could be easily faked.  i am filled with doubt.

doom eternal now.  this is apparently the highlight of the conference, but i’ve never cared about the doom franchise so i can’t bring myself to care.

holy cow, gameplay???  at e3??????

i just hear doomy ternal instead of doom eternal.

walked away to put up dishes, came back and they are still on doomy ternal.

doomy ternal releases in november 22, for those of yall who care about it

preorder the collector’s edition, that went so well with fallout 76!

also doomy ternal battle mode

and that’s the end of the bethesda conference.  and it kinda sucked.  i went in with low expectations, and i’m still kind of disappointed.  although fallout 76 may have added a new psycho AI husbando for me so at least i have that