#ahsoka represents everything obi wan doesn’t want to confront after mustafar

[firefly-fez]

in all honestly a resolution in ahsoka and obi wan’s relationship would be nothing but tragedy. meeting after order 66 wouldn’t go…well. there is immediate relief to see that the other is alive. just as quickly, there is guilt. obi wan’s guilt. he cannot bring himself to tell her that he is anakin’s killer. ahsoka sees obi wan’s depression. he looks hopeless and lost. the mentor she knew is gone forever. she sees the guilt in his eyes thinking it’s because he couldn’t save anakin. she tries to tell him it’s not his fault, he’s not alone, she loved him too, they can grieve him together— he won’t let her in. the obi wan she knew is gone; what can she do? she cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. he won’t talk to her about what happened and she doesn’t understand why. years later, she understands why. in horror, at last, she understands why. she’s questioning everything all over again. how can she trust herself? everything she was ever taught was taught to her by— him. obi wan, still nothing like his old self, but a little better, now, thanks to the purpose luke (and leia) have given him, runs into ahsoka again. he recognises her guilt, her grief, her doubt, immediately. her fear. her fear of herself. she knows. his belated attempt to be there for her isn’t the comfort he hoped it would be. it’s not that she’s angry. not at him. it’s just that she doesn’t believe him. not anymore. he tries to reassure her that she is not destined to fall into the dark side. all ahsoka hears are empty words. his belated belief in her is just empty now. you believed in him, too, she says, defeated. you always said we were so alike. give me a reason. any reason to believe in me that you haven’t once said about him.

and he can’t.