#ahhhhh fucking i can't
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Well, I'd say that's either the underworld, or I've damn near reached it
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posting this unfinished just cause!!
< the dialogue's from Something's Gotta Give (2003) >
#biiiiiig wip energy#i just can't bear to work on this any longer ahhhhh i am not built for webcomic formats oh man#people who draw dialogue/floating heads consistently get a big fucking kudos#anyway yeah i watched the movie earlier this week and wanted to silverv-ify a pretty cute scene hehe#as a rom com -- it aged surprisingly well!!! and keanu is in it!!!#idek if i should put this in the fandom tag#something's gotta give#johnny silverhand#johnny x v#oc: vivienne#cyberpunk 2077 oc#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 fanart#cp77#cp2077#silverv#digital art#my art#bishiart
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i think about this morgenthorn art a lot u know
artist: @thorndale
#there will be so so so much pining#and the s l o w b u r n will fuck me up royally#ahhhhh#i can't take this waiting anymore#they are so perfect#i need more snippets and content of them before the release#dru blackthorn#ash morgenstern#dru x ash#morgenthorn#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tda#twp#tsc
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something about cinta’s specific style of “stone cold and fearless”, as skeen puts, it has always struck me as so interesting and unique and I was just FINALLY able to put a finger on it
because we’ve seen plenty of hardened badasses on TV, we’ve even seen a good number of women in that role, too. we’ve seen the classic “they’re not ice cold all the way through, see the emotional toll this takes on them” moments. but what’s so interesting about cinta’s moments of vulnerability is that somehow, even through film, an inherently external medium, they’re all internal. we don’t see very much of it on her face, but we feel it based on what we see through her eyes. when she does show some outward sign— a sigh, a look away— the camera is either angled from her perspective, or she isn’t in focus. by the time her face is back in focus, the mask is back up.
in episode 6 during the aldhani heist, when vel takes her hand and says “tell me you’ll be all right”, there is only the barest, briefest softening in cinta’s expression when she tells her “i’ll be fine. go.” but then we see through her eyes. the camera, set at cinta’s line of sight, lingers on vel as she leaves, even as the doors shut and only the barest sliver of her face is visible, only turning away once she’s completely gone. in episode 8 when they meet on ferrix and cinta immediately sees that they will have to split up again, we only hear her tired sigh and see her head droop a bit once the camera focuses vel looking away, unfocusing cinta so she can have her moment of vulnerability privately and unobserved. in episode 12 when they meet back up again, we feel vel’s sadness and the pull towards her from cinta’s perspective using camera angles for several long moments before we see it reflected in cinta’s actions, finally turning away from the window only when vel directly asks her to.
and we get to see her make the choice, every time, to be her cold, hardened self. we feel the moments of vulnerability, but we see her with her mask on, just as she allows the rest of the world to see her. there is consistently built emotional depth for her character even when we don’t ever really see her have a moment of weakness. she is the way she is because she chooses to be, over and over and over again. she never stops being faced with that choice, she never stops being just a bit tempted by it. but she never chooses any differently.
#and it shatters my heart a little more every single time#star wars#andor#cinta kaz#vel sartha#velcinta#ahhhhh i love cinta i hope we get to see her find happiness but i can't really see another path for her than#for her cold fire to burn everything in her path she needs it to and finally consume herself#ohhh no i just thought of something. if she had to choose between vel's life and the cause. fuck#fuck. no. she would choose the cause but it would snap something inside of her. oh no. don't make her do that please#honestly just her dying for the cause would be so much better than her having to sacrifice vel please don't do that to her#i fear i fear because they could totally be setting that up#an e original
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hear the barista call an oat milk latte and your name and i look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, BUT IT IS!!!!!! ♡
#except it's not a wednesday#and he got a cold brew#but ahhhhh omg he's so fucking cute i can't believe i saw him#and i can't believe it's less than a month till i'm back to seeing him every day ahhhhhh
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me: *listening to The Bird Song by Noah Floersch*
my brain, with the worst brainrot imaginable: what if it were a flower husbands and scarian animation that switched between povs, series, and Scott/grian were the arrow and Jimmy/scar were the bird and you use parallels :D
me, you can't animate for shit: wtf
#'Cause I never really wanna be the one to hurt somebody#But it just keeps happening#the bird song#im so unwell guys#I can't stop thinking about it#like like#there's so many parallels#LIKE#THATS GRIAN (the first lyrics at the top lmao#tags got weird)#HES FUCKING CURSED TO GER HIS ALLIES KILLED GUYS#AND AND#Falling never to fly again#COUKD APPLY TO BOTH JIMMY AND 3RD LIFE GRIAN AND JUST AHFHAHDH#AND THE ENTIRE BIRD VERSE IS SO FUCKING JIMMY CODED#AND THE PARTS WHERR THERES NOT SPECIFIC LYRICS YOU COULD GO THROUGH ALL OF THEOR ITERATIONS THROW THE SERIES#AND AND THE “WE CANT REALLY HELP WHO WE ARE; DAMNED TO THE END FRON THE START”#AND IT COULD END ON SCAR IN SECRET LIFE#DO YOU SEE MY VISION GUYS#AHHHHH#trafficblr#trafficshipping#traffic smp#traffic series#traffic life#life series#life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtws
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twenty one pilots we are so back
#if you can't see i am clancy#ahhhhh#this album is so fucking good#i'm so happy my boys are back#this is going to be my entire personality now i'm not even sorry#gonna watch all the music videos after work#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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All smiles for Georgi (4/13/24, vs. Texas)
#georgi romanov#magnus chrona#san jose barracuda#everybody shut the fuck up and don't look at me#i love our smm's new angle (new smm's new angle??) of#content but specifically for that one cuda fudanshi on tumblr (me)#like please who else is enthralled by cassels and sabourin sewerball#i can't believe it took until the LAST TWO WEEKS OF THE SEASON TO GET THIS KIND OF STUFF AHHHHH#anyway look at those smiles. look.#LOOK.
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my mother recently developed a facebook addiction but her feed is just the worst woke boomer memes ive ever seen
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real ones know that I've dreamed about off getting dyed hair forever... that red streak??????? OH LORD 😫🥵😍
#axelle rants#off jumpol#literally can't he looks so AHHHHH#also I'm such a stalker as if I was in paris myself kejsjwkdks I'm stalking the igs of everyone on this trip#p'k literally tagged their fucking hotel I'm kdjsjskdkdksjso
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Can we talk about how cute the graveyard scene is!?!? Oh my goddddddddddd this is never leaving my fucking brain
Like I cannot get over how beautiful and sweet and unexpected the entire Astarion romance arc is!? For what was nearly an enemies to lovers situation (depending on how you played)?? What the actual fuck, I didn't see a ton of spoilers but I had seen some by accident I think, and yet it still absolutely surprised me in all the best ways. So so adorable, romancing him forever. jesus
#this is spawn Astarion fyi#i heard he's way different if ascended and tbh im scared to see it lol#controlling dudes arent my type so im hesitant to go back and see the difference but i will one day or in my next playthrough#Astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3 spoilers#GOD and the symbolism of fucking on his grave lol#also it is so very goth in all the best ways he's really making my little emo goth heart sing huh#plus i LOVED seeing him reclaiming his sexuality and doing that playful little push omg#he and my tav are so fucking cute together im dying#i was never expecting his story to be as good as it is even after i heard it was really good#alsjfjslajdjd i could talk about this forever#i am so happy he gets to be happy with her can't wait to see what's next#and now they're EQUALS! ahhhhh my kink lol#pk plays bg3
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.
#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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Hm - ok, out of curiosity, I triggered a second long rest to see if something about the shapeshifters would proc once Wyll's business with Mizora was out of the way, and... well...
"Kainyank! Your deception ends now! I shall cleave the truth from you like flesh from a dhour!"
Oh boy.
"Help me!" the girl squeals in terror, looking up at Hector as he approaches. "She's gone mad!"
OK so. A couple things.
First of all - I speculated in my last post, off the cuff, that Yenna and/or her cat was in fact the shapeshifter interloper. It's entirely possible (even likely, I dare say) that Lae'zel is being rash here, but if she is not, I reserve the right to call myself a freaking genius at the end of this scene.
Second, it's tragically out of character for Hector to say, but this fourth dialogue option is absolutely what's going on in his head:
However - this is Hector, so his primary priority is immediately trying to defuse the situation, ideally before Lae'zel puts a blade in a potentially innocent child's neck.
"What in the hells is going on here?"
"This is not the whelp who's been following us," Lae'zel snaps. "I saw her. She slipped into camp in the form of a woman and shifted into this... abomination. She tried to silence me and hide her deception!"
"I didn't do anything!" the girl cries out with very credible terror, struggling to release herself from Lae'zel's iron grip.
Fairly interesting, this - I literally just, this afternoon, finished writing a fic (coming soon!) about how Hector and Lae'zel have bonded a lot more recently (mostly about their similarly unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with all the Strong Emotions in their lives right now, but still). So Hector's instinct is very much to believe Lae'zel.
Certainly, if this is Lae'zel, he doesn't believe she would be lying to him about this. She's made no secret of finding Yenna annoying, but she would not lie about it like this. Not to him.
It might not be Yenna. But it might just as easily not be Lae'zel.
Gods, he hates this. He hates that after he has grown so much in learning to trust those he travels with, that trust is being torn from under him by something outside their control. He hates that Orin's very existence is enough to upset the order of things, that she need not even act in order to cause them to start to tear themselves apart from within.
Moonmaiden, grant me wisdom... please...
"Do you have any proof?" he asks carefully.
"Is my word not enough?" Lae'zel snarls.
With a quick, sharp motion, she pulls a dagger from her belt, lifts it to Yenna's neck.
"Say your farewells, ne'voocrim!"
Hector puts out a hand sharply before she can strike, his eyes fixed on hers. [PERSUASION] "There's something we're not seeing here!" he snaps out.
Look at me, Lae'zel - if you truly are the woman I have come to know, who has come to trust me... you will stay your blade until I can speak.
(A/N: 25 DC, almost impossible even with Voice of the Circle AND Favorable Beginnings, but crit success on an inspiration re-roll, holy shiiiiit.)
Lae'zel's face twists at the interruption; abruptly she shoves the girl aside and takes a step towards Hector. Her eyes narrow and her lips curl in a sudden mad smirk - and Hector feels a chill roll through his whole body.
"Perhaps if I remove your eyes," she sneers, "you'll see things as they are."
Hector takes a rapid step back, his hands lifting, ready to strike. This is not Lae'zel - that much is suddenly obvious, and his neck prickles with fear. How long? How long has she been here lurking among them? Where has Lae'zel been taken? What has Orin done to her?
As if in answer, the false githyanki's head twists in a spasmodic jerking movement that is, by now, all too familiar.
The sense of utter violation is surprising. He feels his whole body go tense, a muscle working in his jaw. To be surprised by Orin in the city is one thing, but to have her here in their camp, their place of safety and respite and refuge - to have her take the form of one of his closest allies, and threaten to murder an innocent child in front of him...
His expression remains utterly still, showing no sign of the turmoil in his mind, but his fists clench at his sides.
There's soft footsteps behind him. The others have started to wake at the commotion, to realize what is happening. He can hear the slide of metal on metal as blades are drawn, the sound of hoarse, nervous breath. But no one strikes; perhaps all of them are as overwhelmed as he feels at this invasion of their home.
That unsettling smile has not moved from Orin's lips throughout her transformation. "Look at it," she murmurs, her eyes tracing over Hector from head to foot with disdainful amusement. "Crawling and sniffing and rooting around in the filth. Is it my Netherstone you seek, little piggy?"
She reaches out a hand, draws her fingertips tauntingly along his jaw. Her skin is ice-cold, like the touch of a corpse. He doesn't move, resists the urge to flinch. "Hush... hush..." she croons, her eyes alight with madness. "Orin will take care of you. And your little pet."
At Hector's side he sees the flash of a blade. Karlach has moved next to him, and her sword is up, the point aimed directly at Orin's throat.*
Hector's voice is tight and hoarse, trying not to show the depth of his fear in this moment. "What have you done with Lae'zel?"
Orin draws back with a soft, maniacal giggle. "Nothing!" she says brightly. "No, not a thing! Still gasping and gagging on the foul airs of Bhaal's temple." She smiles slowly, full of gleeful malice. "I will not slice. Her kind die too easily."
She begins to stroll casually between their bedrolls, seemingly unconcerned by the weapons drawn in her direction, or the anger in her audience's eyes. "The Murder Lord demands a better offering. Something new... sticky sweet and delicious." She pauses, turns to meet Hector's gaze again, pokes a finger towards his chest.
"He wants *you.*"
"Fuck that," Karlach mutters at his side.
Hector shakes his head slightly. His skin is crawling at the nearness of the shapeshifter, at what she is describing, and his adrenaline is starting to pump with urgency - the need to find Lae'zel, to get away from this creature, to escape whatever the God of Murder has in mind for them all. But they need information before they can hope to retaliate...
"The Murder Lord wants me?" He is surprised to hear how steady his voice sounds all of a sudden. "Why?"
"Ketheric's killer..." she murmurs. There's a strange sort of eager hunger in her tone now at the mention of the violence Hector has wrought in the past. "Turned the corpse-lover to carrion when you took his stone. But he was a dull kill. No blood to spill, no guts to rip - a desiccated husk, all dust and hollow." Her breath catches with an eager whine, those pale blank eyes widening. "You must be sharpened before you set your edge against my skin."
Hector shudders. "Enough of these riddles," he snaps. "Speak plainly."
Orin tilts her head. "You'd prefer my whispers in the tyrant's tongue?" she says.
Another sudden twist, a flash of red - and Gortash stands before him instead.
"You've heard Gortash's whispers. I see how your skull swarms with his promises..." The words are Orin's, but now uttered in Gortash's low, sardonic growl. "He whinges and wails over the Crown of Karsus, wanting to command it without me... Oh, how I long to slit his poxy smile from ear to ear. But I can't touch him. He bound my blade when we first conspired."
"Gortash didn't want me at first. Didn't trust me. Got me to wag my tongue, swear an oath never to hang him from the hooks, drip-drain him into Father's open jaws... You must kill the tyrant, take the Netherstone from his corpse, and bring it to my temple. There we slice and shred each other. The survivor claims the stones. What's left of the other is Bhaal's."
It is incredibly unsettling to hear Orin's insane ramblings coming from Gortash's throat. Hector listens in silence, watches as the creature shifts again, back to Orin's pale skin and eyes.
"Agree, and I will bring my assassins to heel. They watch you always, longing to spray the crimson from your veins. Refuse me, and you'll learn what happens to those who defy Bhaal's doctrine. So will your friend."
Narrator: Orin demands a fight to the death. The prize for the victor - the Netherstones, and the chance to control the crown alone. Accept, and you must kill Gortash. Refuse, and your companion's life may be forfeit. As might your own - Orin's assassins will hunt you like prey for slaughter.
Hector's mind whirls, wheels turning rapidly as he tries to parse the situation and the best way out of it.
The worst thing about this situation is that agreeing to Orin's demands feels like the right answer.
He was already going to kill Gortash; that has been a given for quite some time. Even were he not one of the Chosen, Hector would help Karlach destroy him regardless; as it is, he cannot be allowed to live. And Orin is, by far, the scarier of the two remaining leaders of the Dead Three's plot. Allying with her long enough to keep her shapeshifting assassins off of him and his friends is more than a little appealing.
Then, of course, there is Lae'zel. He intends to rescue her regardless of the agreement here; she cannot be allowed to languish in a Bhaalist prison. Not after how important she has become to him, to the whole group. She is one of their family now. But to agree to Orin's demands for now would perhaps help to ensure her safety long enough for him to find her.
Normally at this point in his thought process, he would consider that he abhors the thought of lying, of placing his word of bond on a deal that he means to betray. But the extraordinary thing about what Orin is offering is that her endgame is only the final showdown between them that was coming anyway; he does not want control of the Netherstones, but he was never going to let her live. She expects his betrayal, it is even written into the deal - what she offers is only a brief cessation of hostilities long enough for it to come to blows between them in another place.
She is, in short, offering him a deal for what he was going to do anyway - kill Gortash, and then kill her. The only variable is Lae'zel's safety, which is better ensured by playing the game Orin's way, at least for now.
"So be it," he says harshly. "I will kill Gortash. Lae'zel lives. Then we fight for the final Netherstone."
Her eyes widen with insane joy. "The promise of slaughter! Of pain and humiliation and the sound of blood drip-dropping into the gutter. Do not underestimate his Steel Watch. Seek their cradle in the Lower City and skewer their skull meat. Make them rust and blood. Then you can gore the lordling again and again and again--"
She squirms with excitement, her voice rising in pitch to an eager squeal, those pale eyes fixed on Hector's face. "But listen. Listen close, Bone-killer... Step in my domain while the tyrant still sucks air, and I will carve your failure into your pretty plaything's skull. Bring me his stone and I will set the bait free. Only then can you and I make exquisite butchery. The victor will set the world to slaughter."
She twists the ring on her finger, disappearing into a burst of red light with her last words hanging in the chill night air. "This is Bhaal's offer. He will not make another."
-----
"Holy shit. Fuck. Soldier, what the fuck was that?" Karlach's sword falls to her side and her other hand grabs Hector's arm urgently. "We're not seriously going along with this?"
"Why not?" Hector says bitterly. "All she has asked us to do is kill Gortash and then come to fight her. I don't believe we ever had another plan anyway."
"And Lae'zel? You believe she'll just let her go?" Shadowheart asks, her eyebrows knitted with concern. Even now, she bears no particular love for their githyanki comrade - but she has come far enough at Hector's side that she doesn't want Lae'zel lost either. "She's a trickster - a creature of shadow beyond any that ever served Shar. Who is to say she will keep her promise?"
"I believe she'll keep her safe until I come to face her," Hector says wearily. "Because she knows we would not leave Lae'zel behind. Alive, she's bait. Dead, she's useless."
Jaheira smiles, without humor. "I believe you are correct," she agrees quietly. "So it seems we have only one path forward."
Hector nods. "And the first step is killing Gortash - ideally with as little delay as possible."
Karlach's lips curl in a savage smile and her hand tightens on Hector's arm. "Well - you won't hear any argument from me."
-----
* Artistic license, obviously. I just liked the mental image. XD
#bjk plays baldur's gate 3#hector carlisle#holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit#the TWISTS the TURNS#this plot is fucking wild and i am so invested ahhhhh#also the timing of this with the fic i've been workiing on is KILLING me#also orin is fucking terrifying oh my god#y'all know me - i am a fan of scary women and usually want them to step on me#but orin is way beyond scary and eeeeeep no thank you and i can't wait to beat her up#not a fan of us losing a member of the camp for a while but hopefully we can get her back soon#also another long post XD though i guess everyone probably just expects that at this point#bjk writes her own party banter
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what kind of game is that huh? 👀
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT — OH DEAR LORD. NOT— HE IS LIKE...FUCK I CAN'T SAY RIGID
SOMEONE HELP MEEEE LOL
#HE'S MORE STIFF?? THAN ANAKIN?? FUCK NO. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT WITHOUT IT SOUNDING DIRTY OH MY GODDDD [is blushing]#I PROMISE THIS IS A NORMAL ACTION ADVENTURE GAME!!!!! AHHHHH (/W\)#*is a flustered mess*#/lh#tw: suggestive
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i'm so pissed i'm either going to take it out on myself or punch a wall until my hands bleed
#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#tw depressive#tinytrashkid#tired of being underestimated by everyone around me#tired of my asshole of a coworker causing problems over the littlest things#tired of him taking his anger out on me#tired of not being able to figure out how tf i'm going to get into the career i want being assigned female at birth#could someone just cut me a break or give me a fucking chance?!#i want to try!#but everyone looks at me and thinks i can't#i understand but i just AHHHHH!
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da:tv gameplay dropping trailer in 4.5h lads!!!!!
#ahhhhh#i truly didn't care about this game at all (10yrs will do that)#until i saw the trailer and all the characters 😭 now I'm almost bg3 level excited bro#bioware please don't fuck it up i can't take it#da:tv
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