#ahhhh yelling over the parallel conversation here

[seafavoured]

𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐍𝐄𝐃'𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄, but this was a night to be lost within his own mind. his own thoughts left room for little else. and thus, he simply nodded his thanks at the man's apology for flint's loss. for the death of miranda, a woman with whom ned had always quarreled. but he had learned well of late that those who hold hatred for one another may still band together for a cause.

❛ mm. all the fresh faces to join the account these past weeks, all fools riding the coattails of real mens' success. we forged the way for them, cultivated the land where they reap harvest. ❜ tone little but a low growl from his throat. A SIGH escaped parted lips, head dipped to rest in a free hand which massaged at his temple a moment. ❛ but doesn't a fair king wish to provide for his subjects? ❜ god, his head felt so fucking full. his body so exhausted it felt as though it would crumple beneath him if he stood. but he wouldn't let it.

NO REST FOR THE WICKED.

some of the weight seemed to lift from his shoulders at the warm touch of ned's hand. fingers intertwined. the only one of his lovers left standing at the end of it all. the only one who truly knew james flint ; knew him, and EMBRACED him wholly as he was. when his gaze angled back up to meet with the other's, it was resigned. resolute. ❛ everyone who knew james mcgraw is dead. ❜ his conversation with miranda rang loud in his head : was he ready to let captain flint go? a conversation had in another time, another world. his jaw set. ❛ perhaps it's time to let him go at last. return him to the sea. ❜

Ned had heard rumors, here and there, and he'd been uncertain of their validity, but one look at James and he could tell from the state of him that at least some of the rumors were true. He had resigned himself to Miranda Hamilton's existence a long time ago, had known that she was one of those very few things he could not touch unless he wanted to lose James forever, most likely via losing his own life. But now she was gone.

Still, there was something genuine in Ned's voice when he reached a hand out, laid it over the other man's, and said, "I am sorry, James." Ned was being sincere - he was truly sorry that he didn't get to kill her, this last little thread of James to his past, who always tried to make him good, who never really saw the beauty in his violence, in his madness. A shame that someone had taken the opportunity from him to end her life himself.

Yet, what was it they said? When one door closed, another opened.

Ned simply eyed James for a long moment as he spoke - he wanted to take that twitching lip between his teeth and pull - this was a venture to take carefully. The flames of violence were there already, but a bit of fanning would not go amiss. A disapproving tut, curling his fingers up with James' own, tangling them together, intertwining them, connecting them, "They see every last one of us as monsters, regardless of our actions, regardless of who actually deserves the title." Offensive, it was, that the lowliest of powder monkey on some greenhorn's ship could be painted with the same brush as Ned Low, but that was the way of the law of England. A bit of a chide, for it'd be far too off putting if Ned didn't try to bait him, "You're right. I did warn you. Perhaps you'd be wise to listen to me more in the future."

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

[fallingin-like]

november 27

thick skin, an elastic heart by @badacts ​ [requested by @foxsoulcourt​ and @sig66​]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

an incredible jerejean fic that focuses on jean’s transition to the trojan’s and how jeremy struggles with falling in love with him. this fic is funny and emotional and includes a lot of really interesting introspection.

this is an amazing amazing fic, i wish i had read it sooner (but i don’t read many jerejean fics). i was immediately invested and could not stop reading. you provide a lot of valuable insight, and it was really interesting seeing these characters that i’m not too familiar with interact and grow closer and further and closer. i love the song elastic heart and it fits the story you’re telling.

parts that stood out to me:

”it’s unspoken trojan policy that everyone keeps their doors open during the day” this is so interesting! no wonder the trojans work so well together. although i suppose the ravens have a similar rule, but for a different purpose

”while the trojans can be a little too much to deal with en masse, it’s better than the alternative” oh no are the ravens the alternative? jean, your standards are too low, that team was really messed up

”jean, rustiness or no, is very good at what he does” i bet he is, and i bet that, under these better conditions he will be able to grow and be even better than before

”your stamina needs work” interesting, i wonder how long he used to play with the ravens? i would have thought that the brutal practices were enough that jean has pretty good stamina (although game situations are often more intense than practices… well maybe not for ravens)

”he’d been bedridden for weeks after everything, and had spent most of his summer in palmetto running to get his fitness back” oh this is rough, at least jean has had time for a full recovery, likely a luxury he never had in the nest

”that version is a pretty sharp contrast with jeremy right now, though” woah for a second i forgot about the conversation that they were having, it was so easy to get sucked into jean’s thoughts along with him

”jeremy goes from flushed to dead white in a few seconds” LOL

”but had been heavy on the literal slavery” AHHHHHH JEAN

”jean is a survivor, but he was a rebel first” i wonder if jean considers surviving itself an act of rebellion?

jeremy blushing so hard and being so flustered is the biggest mood every

”less because of the obvious parallel, and more because of the fact that by now jeremy’s used to jean inviting himself straight in” oh i love the way you did this. it introduces the familiarity between jean and jeremy and that they’ve had this sort of interaction enough times that there’s an expected behaviour of jean

”they’re - friends, now. they’re definitely, definitely friends, after months of jean adjusting to the trojans and jeremy as his captain, hard-won and satisfying. though jean’s watching him right now from an angle like he’s doubting all of it” woah this is a great paragraph. has jean ever had friends before? surely teammates yes, but people he’s considered friends? not sure. also love the subtle pov change.

”jean, jeremy has found, has very little interest in the opinions of other people” INTERESTING

”jean’s stare is penetrating. jeremy has to wonder why he’s so intense. it becomes obvious when he says, ‘you’re being weird’” i like this. but have no reason (that i can put into words) why

”jean goes on like jeremy hasn’t spoke. jeremy feels it like a shot to the gut, and tries to keep that off of his face” oh i think i missed something. such an intense reaction

”just as jean claims to know jeremy, jeremy knows him back” !!!!

”’you’re imagining things,’ jeremy says, which is perhaps not the nicest thing to say to jean moreau, a survivor of years of gaslighting” oh

”who is still and stoic and takes every step forwards like it might be the one to send him hurtling back to a place he desperately doesn’t want to go” woah. imagine being this well read by someone, gives me shivers. also i love this description

THEY KISS AHHH

”it’s kind of hard to think when he’s getting so little oxygen to his brain” LOL

”the reason becomes suddenly and brutally clear when it swears in french and gropes for the phone, shoving it into jeremy’s chest” LOL

”jeremy feels cripplingly awkward by comparison, knowing that jean will leave and this will all be done” nooo jeremyyy ;-; (also, cripplingly awkward is what someone would say if asked to describe me in two words lol)

”but jean is so beautiful he swears his heart might stop at the sight” ahhhhhhh

i forgot that jean also has scars!! i wonder what jeremy thinks of them…..

”the trojans have their record of avoiding red cards because they’re smart, not necessarily because they’re nice” this is true. they are also one of the best teams, and you don’t get to that point just by being nice.

JEREMY KNOX JUST GOT A RED CARD OHMYGOODNESS

”he acknowledges them with a raised racquet, but jean knows without seeing his face that there’s no smile there. that’s less surprising than people might imagine it to be” i’d love to know what’s going through jeremy’s mind in that moment

on chapter 5: i love the way that you write this, how immersed i become in jean’s thoughts and how the game only seems to be going on in the background. the way that outside events happen (siren going off) and break apart paragraphs, but jean’s thoughts continue. it puts me in a certain mindset and establishes tone in a really interesting way

”his life really should have removed any idea of fairness from him, any concept of justice and valor. he can’t explain why it hasn’t” this is so interesting to me. in a way, i can understand this.

wait ohmygoodness, what number is jean on the trojans?

JEREMY MAKING MISTAKES AHH

love the lines you have on jeremy avoiding jean

SEEING WHY THE RED CARD WAS GIVEN AHHHH

”the feeling of losing a friend is unfamiliar” and “he shouldn’t really call the feeling unfamiliar, anyway. pain, for jean moreau, is anything but” broke my heart, how dare you write that

dang, i have never really thought about laila, but the way you write her, wow i love her a lot. knows exactly what to do “her voice is soothing, which is an indicator of how jeremy must look right now”, as a person with a negative EQ, i want to understand people like she seems to

JEREMY JUST BLURTING OUT THAT HE SLEPT WITH JEAN AND ALSO THAT HE’S BI I LOVE IT

THE CONTRAST BETWEEN JEREMY AND LAILA’S SOFT CONVERSATION THAT ENDS WITH HIM ASKING HER NOT TO TELL ALVAREZ AND ALVAREZ BARGING INTO JEAN’S ROOM YELLING IS AMAZING

”’please, keep yelling,’ jean replies without looking up from his book, voice dry as sawdust” ooo i like the way that you write jean

”he stands. his height and size forces alvarez back a step more by necessity than any actual threat, but she looks like she doesn’t like making the concession.” i’m really impressed by this because i could picture this so well in my head (doesn’t happen often) and not just the scene and the actions described, but the tone of their body language too, the way that jean stood up and alvarez moved

”it’s what he wants. just like her leaving is, just like her closing the door more gently this time than a wall-rattling slam is. it makes no sense that it makes him feel worse. or maybe it does. it’s been a while now since he really felt alone” uhm excuse me i thought you broke my heart before but now you really just took the pieces and smashed them up even morE. THESE PARAGRAPHS HURT TO READ

”jeremy has always had a little problem with acting first and thinking later - jean once unfavourably compared him to the foxes’ resident rebel, neil josten, which jeremy thinks is pretty rich but perhaps not entirely untrue” LOL and also i love the wording you chose here

JEREMY CAN PICK LOCKS WHAT ARE THE LONG LIST OF REASONS

oh, the nightmare scene is so perfect, exactly the kind of thing i like (not kidding, i live for angst). this part? “the lock reengages before he can get back inside his room. it’s like a gunshot in the quiet” oh it’s so good. both sides are so understandable. jeremy’s reaction, his desire to help and recklessness. jean’s mistrust, disgust, he’s so used to having his privacy disregarded and this time he thought it would be different but it’s not and that makes it even worse, especially after a nightmare

”that means jeremy has to obsess over the only things he can control - how he acts, and how he feels” this is a lot easier said than done (says me, a person who has spent a lot of time trying to repress their feelings)

”obviously riko is never going to play again” THIS IS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY. RIKO IS NEVER GOING TO DO ANYTHING AGAIN (except maybe rot lol)

”maybe one day he’ll realise he’s playing for himself. maybe neil josten, another one of their kind, will teach him how” oh this is good

”jean is a survivor, but that’s muscle memory too, learned the hard way just like he learned most everything else. underneath it all, his natural tendency is not caution” wow, i don’t even have the words to describe these sentences. i’m learning so much about jean. i feel like often times he’s seen as in between kevin and neil (coward vs instigating coward), but i’m starting to appreciate more and more who he actually is. jean was playing the long game, and it looks like it’s starting to pay off

“it turns out that survival and rebellion have one intersection - they don’t produce nice people” this!!!!

THE SHOWDOWN BETWEEN JEREMY AND JEAN. definitely reminds me of the beginning of the series, with neil blowing out his arms against andrew, although this time it ends in success on jeremy’s part.

”then you’re nothing like riko moriyama… and don’t assume you understand what i’m afraid of, or what hurts me” THIS WHOLE SCENE IS AMAZING. jean has been through so much, i don’t think jeremy can even begin to imagine the suffering, the pain

”doing the wrong thing by you. hurting you. you hurting me. losing you” i think that jeremy should understand that being afraid of these things already makes him way better than riko and everyone who has hurt jean before

”’i’m in love with you!’ jeremy says, because he can’t listen to this, and because he’s always been terrible at restraining himself when he gets emotional” WHAT. EXCUSE ME WHAT

”jean pauses, almost a double-take” YEAH ME TOO JEAN

hello i cannot belieVe you ended the chapter like that!!!! how dare yoU

”do i seem like the type of girl who holds a grudge? honesty, my attention span is like twelve seconds long” ME TOO

alvarez!! i need someone like you in my life!!! “so tell me about your problems, white boy.” LOL

”it’s not jeremy he’s doubting” ooooooh

”don’t agree with me. prove me wrong” THIS IS GOOD

”jean forgets that, as part of the ‘perfect court’, he’s famous too” that is true. he’s mostly stayed out of the media’s eye, but he was just involved in everything as the rest of the ‘perfect court’

”i say that because you’ve been playing terribly and i was surprised” JEAN!!!! I’M LAUGHING SO HARD

”of jeremy saying, ‘you never cover your scars,’ and jean replying, honest, ‘i’m not ashamed of what people did to me.’” oh this is amazing

”’how do you know… that you’re in love’ ‘experience’” i have no words

jeremy waking up, it’s so soft ;-;

oh no jeremy is back to being terrible on court BUT HE’S SO HAPPY IT’S ADORABLE

”i do know what broken ribs feel like” ohmygoodness, jean, you’re killing me

”are you sleeping with a lamprey now?” I HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT A LAMPREY WAS BUT WHEN I SAW A PICTURE I LAUGHED SO HARD

the nightmare, jeremy comforting him, these boys are so good for each other :”)

LOL I LOVE THAT JEREMY KEEPS BRINGING UP HIS RED CARD

ah, i have read probably one jerejean fic before this (yeah yeah terrible i know) but i really should not have expected anything less than amazing writing from you. you did an amazing job balancing out the push and pull between jeremy and jean, the alternating support from the girls, and how long conversations and dialogue contrasted the action of exy. i am so impressed by your exploration of this relationship, and the detailed introspection you included. you were able to integrate the thoughts of jeremy and jean so well into the flow of the story and i learned a lot and thought a lot. there is still so much that i wasn’t able to cover in my review.

i loved the characterization, jeremy’s uncertainty and his blushing, jean’s somewhat stoic and confident on the outside appearance. the way that both their pasts shaped who they are and influences their actions and how they make decisions, and how their personality types affect those as well. it was so interesting for me to see such an in depth study of jeremy, his sweetness, but also thoughtful in a more serious way, how jean is so much more than what happened to him in the nest. that he is a rebel and isn’t afraid to stand up for himself after so long of not being allowed to do that. i laughed and i hurt and i was comforted. thank you so so much for writing this!