#ahhh i hope i did this right i;ve never done one of these before

[dafheannaig13-blog]

Vivienne Appreciation Week: Remembering Bastien

I once read a bit about how women of colour are rarely allowed to be portrayed as soft in the media, and are instead expected to be strong and hard and suffer in silence. Which is shite.  And I’ve also seen that some in the DA fandom think of our dear Madame de Fer as being cold, because of the strength she shows. Which is also shite.

SO for Vivienne Appreciation Week, I wanted to honour a different sort of strength combined with the softness so often denied characters such as Vivienne, by drawing her reminiscing about her true love, Duke Bastien. I loved how fondly she spoke of him, and how tender she was when he lay dying. And when he was gone I just wanted to give her a hug ;A;  I imagine she must miss him terribly, but Vivienne is too strong to give up so easily. No matter what happens to her, she rises from the ashes like a phoenix--so I drew one on her head-dress. Even if she remembers his death with tears in her eyes, I imagine she always pairs it with a fond smile for all of their happy times together ❤ 

[tobesolonely]

kindergarten teachers

summary: teacher!harry and coworker y/n have a hard time coming to terms with their feelings for each other

a/n: ahhh she’s finally done! i’ve been working on this fic for sooo long and i hope u all like it! big thanks to @queencharry​ for helping me when i got stuck and beta reading, and @behindthatbabyface​ for beta reading as well and giving me feedback!! i appreciate u both <3 enjoy ~11.3k words of some mutual pining and teacher!h interacting with lil kindergarteners 🥺also i am sorry if theres any major grammar mistakes (as always) or crazy typos, i always miss some things when i go back and proofread that im sure i’ll catch later! thank u

warnings: smut, mentions of alcohol 

talk to me about harry and y/n! let me know your thoughts!!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

From the time you were very young, you knew you wanted to be a teacher. One of your earliest childhood memories was going to school dressed up as one for career day. Your usually untamed hair was pulled back into a sleek bun (courtesy of your mother), and you donned a funky baby-pink sweater. For bottoms, you wore the closest thing to a pencil skirt you had in your five-year-old wardrobe. When you look back on the photographs your mother took of you that day, you did not resemble a teacher in any way. You were sure if you had not done your Career Day presentation in front of the whole class, no one would have even known who you were dressed up as.

Once you moved onto college and declared Education as a major, that was when people really started to let you hear their opinions on the career path you wanted to pursue. It seemed like whenever you went home for a holiday, relatives were always in your ear saying, “You know teachers don’t make a lot of money, right? Have you ever considered something in the sciences?”. You always responded, “I know, but what would the world do without teachers?”.

Eventually, you finished your undergraduate career, successfully completed student teaching with the highest praise from your superiors and colleagues, obtained your teaching credentials, and even went back to school to get your Master’s degree. So, it was much to everyone’s surprise when you settled on being a Kindergarten teacher. People assumed that because you completed so much schooling, you wanted to be a university professor. However, the thought never even crossed your mind. You always thought Kindergarten teachers were the most impressionable people out there and knew you wanted to be one.

To you, there was no greater responsibility than that of a Kindergarten teacher. It was your responsibility to teach your students reading, writing, art, and music at the most basic level. You showed them how to play with others, how to be kind, and give them the tools necessary to succeed once they leave your classroom. You were the first teacher your students ever had, so you needed to make them fall in love with school instead of hate it, considering they’d have to stick to it until they were at least eighteen. 

You’ve been a credentialed Kindergarten teacher for the last three years, and you’ve loved every moment of it. You were one of the younger teachers at school, but you never felt left out. Your colleagues were amazing people who often shared tips and tricks they wish they knew when they first started teaching.

Now, you were groggily unlocking the door to your classroom, feeling those first-day-of-school jitters you always felt. You knew kindergarteners weren’t there to harshly critique you. Still, you wanted them to go home and tell their parents about how excited they were to have you as a teacher, not run home in tears. That never happened, of course, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You drop your keys and mutter a quiet, “Shit!” setting your travel mug filled with coffee on the ground and readjust the box of donuts you had for your kids on your hip. As you reach for your keys, you hear a deep voice ask if you need help. You quickly turn around, eyes wide from being startled.

“Oh! You scared me,” you place your free hand over your chest. “But yeah, actually, that’d be great. I’m struggling to get my door open.” The man nods, his own keys he wore around his neck jangling as he retrieves first your keys, then your coffee mug.

“I’m Harry– Mr. Styles, if you want,” he holds your keys out for you to take, your coffee mug still in his large hands. “Uh, I’m the new Kindergarten teacher.” You give him a confused look and trade the box of donuts in your arms for your keys, opening the door. “The last one, Mrs. Brown, I think it was, I guess she decided a few weeks back that she wanted to retire.” You get your door open and walk inside your classroom, turning on the lights. It was a little stuffy, considering you hadn’t been there to open any windows in about a month.

“Oh, that’s right! Welcome,” you give him a warm smile. “I’m Y/N– Miss Y/L/N if you want.” A slight blush appears on his cheeks. “We’re gonna be working together then, it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Mrs. Brown, but it’ll be nice to collaborate with someone closer to my age, you know?” Harry nods, and you realize he still had your coffee mug and box of donuts in his hands. “You can just set that on my desk, thanks for helping out. Would you like a donut?”

“Um, I- it’s okay,” he stammers, setting the items down. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ll probably crash if I have a donut first thing in the mornin’.” You smile at him and move to open all your windows and the back door, wanting the stuffy classroom to air out a bit before the children got here. 

“I totally get that,” you giggle, walking back over to your desk. “Are you excited about the first day? I always get a little nervous. I also talk a lot when I’m nervous, I’m sure you caught onto that.” 

For the first time that morning, Harry laughs. “Yeah, I’m nervous, too. ’ve never taught in the States before, so this is a bit new to me.” He’s playing with the keys hanging from his lanyard. 

“I noticed you had an accent, but I didn’t know if it was weird to ask about it. What brings you to California?” You open the box of donuts and take one out, wanting to eat it before it gets cold, and the glaze hardens.

“Uh, I went to University here, but when I graduated, I decided to go back home and teach for a couple of years. I really missed being here though and wanted to come back, so I got my credentials, and uh, here I am,” he tells you with a grin, and you notice he has deep dimples. 

“Well, we’re glad you’re here,” you tell him earnestly. “The kids are just gonna love your accent, too!” you joke and Harry laughs for the second time that day. 

“If all else fails, ’m hopin’ to charm everyone over with my accent,” he stares at you for a moment before speaking again. “Well, I better finish getting situated. It’s fifteen til, and I reckon the children will be arriving soon, yeah?” He asks. You nod. 

“Best to be waiting at parent drop-off too, there are always a few parents that are just as nervous as their babies, if not more, and could use a quick pep talk.”

“Thanks for lettin’ me know. I was thinking about standing out there anyway, just to make a good first impression.” You take another bite of your donut, giving him a thumbs up. 

“You’ve got this, Harry. I know you’re not completely clueless since you’ve taught before, but I know the first day can be a little intimidating. You know where I am if you need anything.” He gives you a grateful smile, quietly thanking you before turning to walk out the door. You’re left thinking about your new coworker, only being pulled from your thoughts of him when the first bell rings.

“Good morning everyone, my name is Miss Y/L/N. Are you all excited to get this school year started?” A chorus of high-pitched yeses fills the room, and you smile warmly at your class. “I’m so excited that you’re all here! I have a little surprise for each of you!” You grab the box of donuts and walk back to the rug in the center of the room that the children usually sat on for storytime. Little gasps fill your ears, and they all say, “Donuts!” and “Yummy!”. You smile at the kids again, already feeling overwhelmed with how adorable they were. 

“We all get a donut?” one little girl asks, her eyes wide. You nod at her.

“Of course! Everyone will get a donut, sweetie.” You move to get the plastic food gloves you kept so you can safely hand out a donut to everyone. “Okay guys, I’m going to pass a stack of napkins around the room. Take one and pass the stack to the person sitting next to you. Does that make sense?” All the students nod their heads in confirmation, so you grab a stack and hand them to the child sitting closest to you. “Once the last person has their napkin, let me know, and then it’ll be donut time!” You say this over-enthusiastically, and the children squirm in their seats in excitement.

As you go around handing out donuts to each of your students, you learn their names and ask them to tell you one fun fact about them. Most children say things like, “I have a brother/sister!” or “I can run really fast!”, and you find it absolutely adorable. One thing you loved the most about teaching five-year-olds was their ability to think everything was cool. It was comforting to know that no matter what you did, they’d find you cool, and your first-day jitters quickly dissipated. As the children eat their donuts, you read them a story, putting on different voices for all the various characters. You show them how to raise their hand when they have something they’d like to share and remind them to use their “listening ears” when you or one of their classmates are speaking.

When it’s time for recess, you show them how to line up quietly at the door, and assign a line leader and a hall monitor. You remind the children that they will all get a turn at these tasks eventually because it’ll switch every week, and not to worry. As you’re walking down the hall backward (one of your teachers walks that you’d finally perfected), you hear Harry’s voice.

“Okay Room Ten, we’re gonna go out to the playground now, where you all will get to play every recess and lunch. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?” He asks them, and you hear little voices chattering out to him in excitement. You can’t help but peek into his classroom as you walked by, as his door was open. He didn’t see you because he was busy organizing his class into a straight line, so you keep going. Your class, who, much to your surprise, was walking very quietly, got loud once they saw the Kindergarten play area had a slide and monkey bars.

“We get to play on this?” one of your students, Destiny, questions. 

“Yup! This is a pretty cool play area, isn’t it?” They nod and stare at you, waiting for direction. “Oh, you can all go play and run around, get some of that energy out. When the bell rings, though, I want you to listen to the yard teachers because they’re gonna help get you all lined back up so we can go back inside. Deal?” The children give you nods and thumbs up, and you grin at them, telling them to have fun and be nice to one another. As you’re turning to go to the teacher’s lounge to refill your mug of coffee, you see Harry walking down the hallway with his class, and decide to wait for him. He gives his class the same spiel you gave yours and tells them to “Treat each other with kindness” before noticing you waiting for him.

“Hey,” he gives you a grin, looking far more relaxed than he did when you saw him earlier that morning. “How’s it going so far?”

“It’s great,” you reply, leading him in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. “They’re all adorable.”

“Yeah, don’t know what I was so nervous fo’. They’re great. Also, you’re right,” Harry has an amused look on his face. “The first thirty minutes of ’em bein’ there was just them askin’ me to say things because they think I sound funny.” 

“I told you!” you exclaim, laughing at him. “A British accent is definitely not something we hear every day, not here at least.”

“I figured,” he replies, and silence falls between you. “Where are we going, by the way?”

You stop in front of a blue door and sift through the keys on your lanyard, finally finding the one you were looking for. “Teacher’s lounge. Have you had the chance to check it out yet?” He shakes his head, and you pull open the door after having unlocked it. “After you.” He shakes his head and steps back, signaling you go ahead of him. You quirk an eyebrow at him, and he gives you a defensive look.

“What? ‘M a gentleman. Ladies first,” he insists, holding the door open. You walk inside the room, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. There aren’t many teachers in the lounge. You figure they all must be in their classrooms, trying to do some last-minute organization and lesson planning amidst the first day of school chaos. However, a few colleagues that you’re rather fond of are in the room, so you take it upon yourself to introduce them to Harry.

“Hello everyone, I hope you’re all having a relaxing morning!” They chuckle lightly at your sarcasm. “I’d like you all to meet Mr. Harry Styles. He’s the new Kindergarten teacher that took Mrs. Brown’s place.” A look of realization washes over all three teachers’ faces, and they warmly greet him. Harry goes around, shaking each of their hands, voice dripping with charm.

“Lovely to meet you all. Looking forward to collaborating,” he tells them quietly. They begin engaging in polite conversation, so you leave Harry’s side, walking over to the coffee station to get what you came for before recess was over. He joins you shortly after, grabbing a disposable cup. “They were a nice bunch.” He mutters, pouring the steaming coffee into his cup. You hum in agreement.

“Everyone here is nice. The lounge is usually much more crowded than this. Everyone else must be in their rooms,” you flick your wrist up to check the time. “We got some time to sit down and breathe for a bit if you’d like? Unless you wanted to get back to your room.”

“‘M in no rush, trust me,” he tells you, flashing you a small smile. “Let’s take a seat.” Harry walks over to an unoccupied couch and sits down slowly, taking care not to spill his coffee. 

“You didn’t want a lid?” you question when you see him struggling. He shrugs.

“Not necessary. Jus’ some extra plastic,” you hum and look down at your lap. You were quickly learning that Harry was not a big talker, and he liked to get his point across in as few words as possible. Him being a Kindergarten teacher contradicted heavily with his rather bashful demeanor, but that just made him all the more endearing to you.

“Do you live nearby, or is your commute long?” you ask him after a few moments of silence. As soon as you ask the question, you internally cringe, feeling like it was too invasive. If Harry thought the question was weird, he doesn’t show it.

“I live in town. I actually walked here today, believe it or not,” he tells you with a chuckle. “Was such a beautiful morning that I figured I should.” Every time you think Harry can’t possibly get any more captivating, he does, and you find yourself biting back a smile.

“How long is your walk?” You cross your legs and then uncross them, a nervous habit that you had. Harry takes a sip of coffee, mulling your question over.

“I’d say it took me about twenty minutes. I was walkin’ at a pretty leisurely pace, though,” Harry shrugs. “How about you? Do you live nearby?”

“I also live in town, but I’m way too lazy to walk, so props to you,” you smile. “The best thing about living around here is seeing your kids out in public. It’s the cutest thing.” Harry smiles, not saying anything else. A silence falls over the two of you again but instead of feeling the need to fill it, you just sit beside him, drinking your coffee. Your mind wanders off to what you were going to do for the rest of the school day, if you had enough groceries in your apartment for dinner or if you should go grocery shopping after work, and if you remembered to pay your bills on time. The bell rings to signify the end of recess, and you jump slightly.

“Ready to go back?” Harry asks, standing up and walking back over to the coffee station. “Think’m gonna get a bit more.” You go to stand by the door, waiting for him to pour another cup of coffee. He quickly rejoins you, and the coffee sloshes a bit, some getting on his hand, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Hope those lil’ buggers got some of their energy out.”

“Right! Mine was even more hyper than they probably would’ve been ’cause I gave them those donuts this morning,” you laugh. “So, for my sake, I hope so too.” When you and Harry arrive back at the Kindergarten play area, your classes are already lined up quietly awaiting instruction, thanks to the yard teachers. You and Harry both thank them and move to stand in front of your kids. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” one of your children calls out from the back of the line. “Can we get more donuts when we go back inside?” You see Harry smile out of the corner of your eye as he’s giving instruction to his class.

“There are no more donuts, you guys ate them all! I have something even cooler than donuts planned for us, though, okay? Now, remember what I told you all about walking quietly, right? Mr. Line Leader, how does your line look? Do you think we’re all set to go back inside?” The child you appointed line leader turns around to look at everyone, occasionally shushing some people. After a few moments, he turns back to you, giving you a thumbs up. 

Harry moves to stand beside you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Wanna eat lunch together and do some planning? I feel like it would be a good idea for us to be teachin’ the same things, more or less.” Your body feels warm all over, and you just look at him and nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Harry smiles and places a hand on your shoulder. At a normal volume, he says, “See you then, Miss Y/L/N.” 

Upon entering Harry’s room, you’re immediately met with the scent of vanilla and the loud hum of the air conditioning. It was bright, adorably decorated, and surprisingly decluttered. It was the polar opposite of your room, and you found it very welcoming and comforting. “Nice set-up you’ve got going on in here,” you tell him. He jumps in his seat at his desk, not having heard you come in.

“Fucks sake,” he mumbles, face going red. “You scared me. Thanks, though. My sister helped me decorate, I don’t really have an eye for this type of stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. 

“Well, if you ever need any help decorating for back to school and your sister isn’t around, I’d be more than happy to help.” Harry smiles and suddenly gets up from his chair, offering it to you.

“Please, take my seat. I’ll just sit in one of the kids’ chairs,” he rolls it towards you, and you shake your head, about to object, but he interrupts you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Their chairs aren’t that bad.” You take the seat Harry was just in, mumbling a quiet thank you. He hums and pulls a tiny chair up beside you, legs scraping loudly across the floor. When he sits down in it, you can’t but burst out laughing.

“Harry, that chair is so tiny! Are you sure you don’t want me to sit there instead? You look so uncomfortable,” you tell him in between laughs. “This is your classroom, after all, I’m just a guest.” Harry shakes his head, cheeks flushed.

“It’s okay, Y/N, really. ‘M perfectly comfortable in this lil’ miniature chair,” he looks at the lunch bag you sat on his desk. “What’s for lunch?” You reach for your sack and unzip it, pulling out a pre-packaged salad from Trader Joe’s.

“I’m very lazy when it comes to packing my lunches,” you admit sheepishly, pulling out a fork. “How about you? Did you eat already?”

“Oh yeah, I had a green smoothie. Not a big lunch guy,” he replies calmly. “Wanna get started with planning? I think we only have about thirty minutes left.” He looks down at his watch to confirm the time. Harry opens his planner, and you see pages filled with his neat, blocky scrawl. He jumps right into talking about the ideas he had in mind, excitement filling his voice that you haven’t yet heard. 

The passion and enthusiasm he has for teaching are evident through the way he tells you about the activities he has planned, new materials and teaching methods he wants to try implementing, and things he’s tried before that didn’t work out the way he wanted them to. He asks you for your advice and listens intently when you speak, jotting down notes.

You find yourself having to mentally remind yourself not to stare at him. He was a handsome man– there was no denying that. He had curly brown hair, soft and wild-looking, the most beautiful green eyes you’d ever seen, and arms covered in tattoos. You also noticed he had the tiniest cross on his left hand. You wanted to ask him about it, but you figured that was a conversation for another time. 

“Y/N? Did you hear what I just said,” Harry asks, giving you a concerned look. “Are you alright? I think you just zoned out for a couple minutes or somethin’.” You nod quickly, feeling your palms growing sweaty.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about something I have to do later. What did you just say?” You play off how you were just wholly drooling over your new coworker, feeling scrutinized under his piercing gaze.

“Jus’ got an email from the principal. Said we have a faculty meetin’ after school at three. Wanna go together?” He asks. You know Harry’s asking you to accompany him primarily because you’re the only person he really knows so far. However, it still makes you feel warm and special. “He said we’re gonna go over some planning for the Fall Festival. What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s just the back-to-school festival. It’s adorable,” you explain. “It’s like a mini carnival that we have right here on the playground. Every year they have teachers host booths. It’s a great way to get to meet your kids’ parents and bond with the other faculty.” Harry nods, standing up from the tiny chair right as the bell signifying the end of lunch rings.

“That sounds lovely,” he chirps, smiling down at you. “We’re gonna have the best booth out of everyone Y/N, trust me.” He jokes, the corner of his eyes crinkling. This was the most Harry had talked since you met him that morning and you were enjoying witnessing him open up to you more and more with each conversation shared.

“It is,” you stand up as well, gathering your trash and empty lunch pail. “Thanks for having me, Harry. Next time we can meet in my room. I wouldn’t mind making this a daily thing.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you physically wince, figuring Harry had to think you were obsessed with him at this point. He looks down, the corners of his mouth upturned when he makes eye contact with you again.

“I’d like that, Y/N. I’ll actually start bringin’ a proper lunch, so you’re not the only one eating,” you smile. “I’ll meet you in your room after school?” You nod in confirmation, walking out the door in front of him. 

“See ya later.”

“Did everyone have a good day today?” You ask your class, walking backward to the dismissal gate. You’re met with a chorus of cheerful sounding ‘yeses,’ and you place your hand over your heart in a dramatic fashion. “That makes me so happy, everyone! You’re all incredible little people, and I think we’re gonna have a fantastic year. What do you guys think?” The children chatter excitedly, glad to have made it through their first day of school and see their parents on the other side of the gate eagerly awaiting them, cell phones snapping pictures. 

Harry’s already at the gate, waiting for the bell to ring so he can dismiss his class. He’s walking down the line asking each of the children if they see who they’re supposed to go home with, crouching down to their height so they can point them out to him. Some children in his class look a little upset because they don’t see their parents yet. Harry quickly consoles them, telling them they can all play a fun game together while they wait for their ‘Mummies and Daddies.’

You do the same with your kids, and by the time the bell rings and you finish dismissing the ones who saw someone there to pick them up, there was one child from your class who was still waiting and two from Harry’s. He walks over to you, one of their tiny hands in each of his. The boy looks unbothered, but the girl was beginning to cry.

“Hey, Ava, should we ask Miss Y/L/N and her friend if they want to play iSpy with us? The more, the merrier, isn’t that right?” He looks down at her, and she nods, looking down. You figure she’s one of his more shy students he was telling you about earlier.

“Hi, sweetie! I’m Miss Y/L/N, are you waiting for your mom or dad?” She nods, biting her lip. You turn and gesture to your one student who was waiting as well. “Well, so is she! Don’t worry, they’ll be here.”

“I’m Matthew,” the little boy holding Harry’s other hand informs you, shifting from foot to foot. You give him a big smile.

“Hello, Matthew! I love your Spiderman shirt; he’s just the coolest. Jade, do you want to introduce yourself to Mr. Styles, Ava, and Matthew? Remember when we learned about introductions today in class? When you got to introduce yourself to all your classmates?”

Jade nods, a big, toothy grin on her face. “Hi! My name is Jade, and I am five-years-old but my birthday is September 19th, so I’m actually almost six-years-old,” she tells them matter-of-factly. “It’s very nice to meet you!” She adds, remembering the script you gave them earlier. Harry looks down at her, an impressed look on his face.

“Well, it is very lovely to meet you too, Jade! Do we all know how to play iSpy?” Jade and Matthew shout in excitement, but Ava just grips tighter onto Harry’s hand. He looks down at her again. “Do y’ want Miss Y/L/N and I to show you how to play, Ava?” His voice is very quiet, slow, and soothing. She nods, letting go of his hand.

“Well Ava,” you say, looking around for something to start the game out with. “I would say, “I spy with my little eye something green. Then you, Mr. Styles, Matthew, and Jade, would have to look around and name out everything that’s green. If you name something and it’s not it, then I will tell you nope, and you can try again, but if you figure it out, then you’re the winner! Does that make sense?”

She nods, and you see a gleam of excitement in her eyes. “Can I go first?” She asks quietly. You tell her, yes, and she looks around quickly, trying to find something to say. “I spy with my little eye something blue!” She has a triumphant smile on her face, and even though you immediately know she’s talking about the sky and you’re sure Harry does too, you both decide to take a step back and let the children take the game into their own hands.

“Y’know, that lil’ introduction Jade gave was really somethin’. I didn’t even think about teachin’ my kids that. Think I’ll try that out tomorrow,” Harry whispers, craning his neck slightly to be at your ear. You shiver at the feeling of his warm breath against your skin. 

“Yeah, I feel like that’s always a good first day of school activity for them to do. A lot of them have never really been exposed to people outside of their immediate family, so they’re not too sure how to talk to others.” Harry hums, standing back up straight.

“Mr. Styles,” Matthew calls, running over to Harry. “My mommy is here. Can I go now?” Harry nods, telling Matthew to wait for him so he can say hi to his mother. You watch as he walks away, overhearing as he tells the boy’s mother what a great job he did today and how he’s so excited to go through this school year with him in his class. Ten minutes later, Jade and Ava are gone as well, and Harry locks the dismissal gate. 

“I forgot how exhausting the first day could be,” he tells you, letting out a quiet sigh. “Ready to go to that meeting, though? It’s just about three.” You check your watch and see the time read at 2:57 PM.

“Yeah, just let me grab my bag, and we can head over there. I’m really hoping this won’t take too long; I was planning on going grocery shopping after this,” you walk down the hall towards your classroom and feel Harry’s gaze on you.

“Where do you like to go grocery shopping?” he asks after a few moments of silence. “I need to pick up some groceries this week, too. ’ve been eatin’ takeout for the past week, and I’m starting to feel like shit.” You laugh, unlocking your door. Harry stands outside, holding it open while you grab your purse and lunch bag.

“Honestly, I don’t have a preference. I switch it up a lot,” you shrug, making sure all the windows are closed before walking out. “Was there something, in particular, you were looking for?”

“Uh,” Harry scratches the back of his head. “No? Maybe you could text me a list of all your favorite stores, though. Jus’ so I won’t forget.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him, ignoring how fast your heart was beating. “Are you asking for my number, Mr. Styles?”

“I guess I am,” he replies nonchalantly. “We’re gonna be workin’ together a lot. Might as well have your number– if that’s okay, I mean.” He looks down at you.

“Yeah, remind me after the meeting,” you tell him, trying your hardest to play it cool. “Don’t let me forget.”

“Trust me, I won’t.”

“So Y/N and Harry, you two will be in charge of the pumpkin decorating booth? Is that right?” The principal looks down at his notes and then shifts his gaze between the both of you. You both nod.

“Yeah, I’m excited! I think it’ll be a lot of fun,” you reply excitedly. “We can go to the craft store and get a bunch of paints, but where do you think the best place to get the pumpkins would be?” You pull out your planner, ready to jot down any suggestions.

“You two could try going to a pumpkin patch? They’re starting to pop-up around town,” one teacher suggests. “I’m sure if you purchased a bunch and told them it was for a school event, we could get some kind of deal.” The rest of the faculty buzzes in agreement.

“Y/N and Harry, could you get to a pumpkin patch sometimes this week and see if they can give us an estimate of how much it would cost? Then I could let the PTA know.” You and Harry confirm that it will be possible to do sometime this week, and the meeting continues on.

By the time you’re finally free to leave the meeting, it’s already growing dark outside. Harry’s hands are shoved in his pockets, and he’s looking down at his feet. “So–”

“Do you want–”

You both stop, laughing awkwardly. “You go first.” you tighten the grip on your purse.

“Uh, I was jus’ gonna ask if I could get your number now. Yanno, so we can plan when we’re gonna go get all the stuff for our booth? And you still gotta tell me what your favorite grocery stores are,” he has a playful look in his eyes. For the thousandth time that day, your hands become clammy. There was just something about every interaction you had with him that made you so nervous. 

“Oh yeah,” you answer coolly, digging in your purse for your phone. “Just text your number, so I have it.” You hand him his phone, and he stops dead in his tracks, a look of concentration on his face. 

“I can’t walk and be on the phone at the same time,” he mutters when he looks back up and realizes you were watching him the whole time. “I don’t know how people do it.” He hands you back your phone. “What were y’ gonna ask me?”

“I was just um, I was gonna ask if you wanted me to give you a ride home? I mean, since you walked to work today and it’ll be dark soon,” talking to Harry made you feel like a nervous school girl interacting with her first crush, and you hated that feeling.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“It’s no bother, really,” you cut him off, and you realize you sound a little eager, but at that point, you didn’t even care. “I’m sure we don’t live too far from each other.” Harry looks slightly unsure but nods, and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

“If you’re sure, Y/N. I appreciate it, I owe you one,” he’s following behind you to the teacher parking lot. You silently pray your car isn’t messy inside like it usually is as you approach it. You decide to pick up your pace and walk ahead of him, telling yourself if the passenger side was messy, you’d just quickly throw everything in the back. “Heyyyy, why’re you walkin’ so fast? Are you sure you’ve got the time to take me home?” He takes a few big strides and quickly catches up with your hurried, tiny ones.

“Yeah, of course, I have time,” you respond, unlocking your car as you approach it. “If it’s messy, then just ignore it.” you preface, honestly not remembering the state in which you left your car this morning when you walked into work.

“Don’t worry about it. You should see mine,” Harry jokes, and it immediately puts you at ease. As you’re about to open your door, Harry quickly rushes to your side, opening it himself. “Let me.” 

His hand rests over yours, and you quickly pull it away, your body heating up. “Harry, I’m already right here. I can open my own car door.” 

“I know you can. But I’m a gentle—“ 

“You’re a gentleman, I know,” you playfully roll your eyes and take a step back, allowing Harry to open your car door all the way. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t flattered and honestly a little bit turned on. He flashes you a smile as you situate yourself behind the wheel of the car and makes sure you’re all the way in before slamming it shut. You see him lightly jog around to the passenger side, and soon enough, he’s beside you, your car immediately starting to smell like his cologne. 

“What music do you like to listen to?” Harry asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“You ask me a lot of random questions, Harry,” you reply, looking behind you as you slowly back out. 

“Is it a crime to wanna get to know my new coworker?” you can hear a smile in his voice. “C’mon. What’s your favorite music to listen to?” 

You shrug, looking both ways before exiting the parking lot. “Where do you live?” 

“I don’t know my address yet. Just take a left at this light coming up. Favorite music?” Out of the corner of his eye, you see him scrolling through his music library. 

“You don’t know your address yet?” 

“No. I’ll play something random,” he says, tapping his hand on his knee. “You can take a right at that stop sign up there.” You put on your blinker and glance over your shoulder before switching lanes. Harry quickly pairs his phone with your Bluetooth, and a song you’re unfamiliar with blares through your speakers. Neither one of you says anything else, only speaking to each other when he’s giving you directions to his house, and you’re confirming what he said.

After two more songs, Harry says, “S’right up here.” He’s led you to a beautiful apartment complex— one you were looking at when you were moving out of your parent’s home but just couldn’t afford as a new graduate. You expertly parallel park and then turn the car off, a silence falling between the two of you.

“This is a nice complex,” you tell him after a moment. “Really close to school. I see why you opted to walk to work today.” 

“Mhm,” he hums. His seatbelt is still fastened. “I understand if you’re busy, but did you wanna come in?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly backtracks. “I mean— it’s just— remember the activity you taught your kids today? About introductions? Jus’ wanted to know if you could walk me through it, that’s all.” 

“Oh. Well yeah, I can hang out for a bit.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach in the backseat for your purse that you threw haphazardly over your shoulder earlier. 

“Will your boyfriend be okay with you coming in, though?” He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“What makes you think I have a boyfriend?” You’re slightly taken aback and oddly flattered that he thought you were in a relationship.

“I dunno,” his face grows red. “You got all weird when I opened doors for ya. Figured you had a boyfriend.”

“I don’t.”

“Cool.” More silence falls, this time an awkward one.

“Should we go inside now?” you unlock the doors, quickly getting out of the car. Harry follows behind you and waits for you to walk onto the sidewalk before going up the walkway.

“How close do you live to me?” Harry asks, punching in his gate code. He pulls the gate open and gestures for you to go ahead of him. You decide not to comment on it this time.

“A couple blocks away. I could probably walk over here if I was in the mood to,” Harry shuts the gate behind you and walks over to the first set of stairs, taking them two at a time. “I was interested in this complex when I was moving out of my parents’ but I settled on something else.” He hums, stopping in front of the first door at the top of the stairs. There’s a brown ‘Welcome!’ mat outside his door, along with a few potted plants.

“Here we are,” he looks over his shoulder as if he’s checking if you’re still there. “Excuse the boxes. ‘M not done unpacking yet.” He pushes open the door and steps in, quickly turning on the light. You’re met with the same sweet scent of vanilla that’s in his classroom. Considering he was in the process of unpacking, his apartment was reasonably tidy.

“It looks good in here,” your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You were in your coworker’s house that you just met that day, and you could already feel yourself developing a crush on him. There was obviously no way you’d let this relationship progress past anything strictly professional, but that didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to admire his beauty.

“Thanks,” he gives you a smile, relief washing over his face. “You can set your bag down if you want. Take a seat, make yourself at home.” He leaves the room, and you hear him rattling around in the kitchen. “Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee sounds great,” you reply. You set your purse down on his coffee table and sit on the edge of his couch, inspecting his living room closer. There were two books on the table, both flipped upside down as a way to mark his page. There were a few more plants inside, similar to the ones in front of his door. There was a framed picture of him with two beautiful women you assumed to be his mother and sister. Harry comes back into the room a few minutes later, two steaming cups of black coffee in hand.

“Here you are, Miss Y/L/N,” he puts on an exaggerated posh accent, and you giggle.

“Why thank you, Mr. Styles,” you respond in the same voice. “Do you have cream and sugar?”

He wrinkles his nose. “I think I might have sugar. Is oat milk, okay? I don’t have cream.” He goes back to his kitchen to retrieve the items before you can tell him it’s okay, and you’ll just drink it black. You thank him, pouring the tiniest splash of oat milk into your coffee. You can feel his eyes on you as you add a bit of sugar, stir, taste, and then add some more.

“So,” you begin after your coffee is made to your liking. “What did you think about your first day? You can be honest since we’re not on campus anymore.” Harry laughs, looking down at his fingernails.

“Uh,” he starts. You notice he says, ‘uh’ a lot. “It was terrific. Not so sure I would’ve felt the same way if I didn’t have you to help me through it.” 

“We’re partners in crime now, Harry. We’re the two Kindergarten teachers, and you’re the only other person there my age? We’ve definitely gotta stick together,” you give him a big smile. He doesn’t smile back but looks a bit troubled instead. You wait for him to speak, coming to accept that long pauses were just a thing when having a conversation with Harry.

“Y’know how I assumed you had a boyfriend earlier? I thought after I’d said that–– rather I hoped after I said that you’d be like,” he clears his throat. “��Why, no! I don’t have a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?’” He put on the worst American accent you’d ever heard to imitate your voice, causing you to laugh. “To which I would’ve replied with a simple ‘no.’” 

Now it’s your turn to leave Harry wondering what you’re thinking for the first time all day. You can feel his eyes on you as you look at his couch cushions, noticing a bit of crumbs that you hadn’t seen before. “Are you flirting with me?”

“I think you’re beautiful.”

“You don’t even know me. We just met today.”

“Does that mean I can’t think you’re beautiful?”

You bite your lip, feeling yourself starting to grow a bit turned on by his forwardness. There was a part of you that would risk it all for just one night in bed with Harry because you just found him that attractive. The rational, adult side of you was screaming, ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure!’. By now, you had both moved closer on the couch to one another, knees nearly touching. “I think you’re beautiful, too.” He grins, setting his coffee cup down. You do the same.

“Would it be crazy of me to tell you that I really wanna kiss you right now?” His face is mere inches from yours, so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath. You shake your head.

“No. I really wanna kiss you too.”

“C’ mere, then.” 

Harry leans forward a bit more until his lips are ghosting over yours. You pull at the collar of his shirt, bringing his already close body even closer to yours. His lips are softer than they look, and he’s a better kisser than you thought he’d be, too. He brings his hands up to tangle them in your hair, and that’s when you abruptly pull away, not wanting things to go too far. “We shouldn’t…” He looks at you with sad eyes, but he nods, understanding what you mean.

“Probably not the best idea?” his response comes out as more of a question than a statement, but you nod in agreement anyway.

“Definitely not. I’m um–– I’m actually gonna go,” you stand up, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee, Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see––”

You’re out the door, rushing down the stairs before he can even finish his sentence.

The rest of the school week goes on without either one of you mentioning it. It’s a little awkward for a couple of days, but by the time Friday rolls around, both of you decide the best course of action to take regarding the kiss would be to act like it never happened. 

You’re in your room at lunch hanging up your kids’ artwork they made during their ‘Free Time’ this morning, having declined Harry’s lunch invitation for the fourth time that week. You decided to pretend to be busy with work so you wouldn’t be too tempted to go into his room. To most people, you’re sure it looked like you were avoiding him–– and maybe you were. However, you were trying to get over this crush on him in the best way that you knew how.

“Need some help?”

You jump, nearly falling backward off the stepstool you were on. “Holy shit, Harry! You scared the hell out of me!” You feel your body getting warm, and you quickly look away, not wanting him to see how flustered you were.

“Sorry, you weren’t answering my texts, so I decided to come see what you were up to,” he walks over to where you were standing and hands you a piece of art, smiling at it before handing it to you. “You’ve got some artists in your class.”

“Mhm,” you hum, not looking him in the eyes. You hear him let out a quiet sigh.

“Still able to go see about getting those pumpkins ordered after work?”

You had completely forgotten that you and Harry decided today would be the day you’d go get the pumpkin situated figured out for your booth. For a second, you consider making an excuse to get out of it, but you decide against it. This was something that both of you were asked to do, not just him, and you didn’t want the fact that you let your attraction to him cloud your judgment getting in the way of your professional responsibilities.

“Yeah, that works.”

He doesn’t say anything, and even though you’re not looking at him, you can see the gears in his head turning. “Should we talk––” 

You’re quite literally saved by the bell, the end of lunch interrupting where you knew he was about to lead the conversation. “I’ll see you after school? Did you walk here again? I can drive.” Harry nods slowly.

“Uh, yeah. he replies. “I walked. Uh, ’m gonna go get my kids. See you after school then?”

“Yup!” you respond, fake enthusiasm in your voice. Harry gives you one more look before walking out of your room. You wait until he’s all the way down the hall before following behind him to bring your class back inside. You knew you were the one making things awkward between you and Harry. However, the realistic part of you knew getting involved with your coworker was one of the worst ideas you’d ever had in your life. For now, you’d just tell yourself that you were probably more into Harry than he was into you and pray that would be enough to make you get over your crush.

“I haven’t been to a pumpkin patch since I was a kid.” Harry stuffs his hands farther into his pockets while yours are tightly hugging your chest. You hum, not saying anything. The car ride there was a little awkward, and you were glad it was so short. You could tell there was a lot Harry wanted to say, but you were glad he wasn’t saying it. You keep seeing him glance at you, but you pretend not to notice.

“What size pumpkins should we ask for? Small ones, huh?” Harry nods, looking around in childlike awe. There was a small petting zoo, booths selling warm drinks and kettle corn, and an obscene amount of children.

You walk around together for a moment before encountering a friendly-looking employee who looked like he could help you out. Harry takes over, explaining the situation, and why you need to order one hundred tiny pumpkins. While you’re waiting for the employee to ask the owner if that would even be possible, Harry turns to face you.

“Y/N? Can we talk about what happened on Monday?” you’re about to tell him that you’d rather not, but he continues. “I felt something during that kiss, Y/N. I’m not sure if you felt it too, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. We have to get through an entire school year working side-by-side, and if you’re not interested, then I respect that one hundred percent, but I just want––”

“So the owner said that is possible!” The employee that was helping you out comes back with a form and clipboard in their hand. “Can you just fill out some information and let us know what time you need it tomorrow? The owner said he could get it delivered and give you guys a discount since you’re ordering so much.”

“That’s great!” you exclaim, taking the form from him. You were glad to have been saved from your conversation with Harry. You quickly go through and fill out everything you can, telling them they can bill your school’s PTA. 

The walk back to your car is silent. You’re replaying what Harry was saying to you over in your head, thinking about what he was going to say before he was interrupted. He opens your car door like he’s been doing, but he doesn’t make eye contact with you or say a word as he slides into the passenger seat.

“Y’can just drop me off,” Harry says quietly. He leans your seat back and closes his eyes. You wait to see if he’ll connect his phone, but he doesn’t, so you turn on the radio at a volume so low it almost can’t be heard. It takes everything in you not to speed back to his place. You just wanted him out of your car. You had such strong feelings for him that it physically hurt, and restraining yourself from telling him how you really felt was growing harder and harder.

“We’re here.” your voice is a little hoarse from not saying anything. Harry slowly opens his eyes and unbuckles his seatbelt, opening the door.

“Right. Thanks for the ride. What time do we need to be at school to set up our booth by?”

“Four. I can pick you up if you want?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Y/N.” He closes the door and walks up to his gate without looking back at you once.

“Hi Miss Y/L/N! Hi Mr. Styles!”

Groups of your students had been coming up to you excitedly all evening. It made you happy to see that the Kindergarten classes were no longer divided. They were starting to hang out with one another. Their parents tell you how their children thought it was just the coolest thing to be on school grounds on a Saturday, and how even though it was only a week into the school year, they were having the best time. It was comments like this that made you fall in love with your job all over again.

Things between you and Harry were going well. It wasn’t awkward, but you think it was because you were both too busy helping children paint their pumpkins. You were glad that Harry didn’t take the bit of downtime the two of you had when no one was at your booth trying to talk about the kiss and instead talked about other random things instead. You find out he loves baking (specifically, bread), he has an obsession with old music, and has about fifty tattoos. He talks to his mom on the phone every day, and he is extremely close to his sister. You tell him about your parents’, your undergraduate experience, your hobbies, and you finally tell him what music you like to listen to.

The festival quickly comes to an end, and you find yourself sad once you and Harry are done cleaning up your booth, knowing that you were just going to drop him off at his apartment and go back to yours to spend another Saturday night alone. You get to his complex almost too quickly, and you almost want to keep going and pretend you accidentally missed it just to be with him a bit longer. Instead, you park.

“D’ya wanna come inside?” He blurts out. Even in the darkness of your car, you can tell his face is flushed. “I mean if you haven’t got plans. I know it’s a Saturday night, so I understand if––”

“Nope, I don’t have plans. I’d love to.” Your hands are shaky as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He quickly gets out of your car and runs around to your side, opening the door for you before you can do it yourself. You almost don’t even notice since it was becoming such a habit.

“I picked up this new bottle of wine a couple days ago that’ve been wanting to pop open. Think we deserve a glass or two after such a long week, hmm?” You wordlessly nod, wholly mesmerized with just how good Harry looked after such a long day of work. His curls fell perfectly across his forehead, his eyes were sparkling and full of excitement. 

“A glass of wine sounds great,” you reply with a chuckle. “I’m ready to drink a whole bottle by the end of the week if I’m being honest.” Harry laughs, quickly punching in his gate code. You could see his hands shaking a little bit, but you decide not to comment on it. He takes the stairs up to his apartment two at a time like he did last time you were there, but this time there’s an urgency and clumsiness to his actions that you haven’t seen before. He jams the key in his lock, quickly shoving the door open.

His apartment is a little messier than it was when you were in it at the beginning of the week, but it’s nothing disgusting. He runs his fingers through his curls, moving aside papers that were scattered along the length of the couch. “Sorry, I was doin’ some planning. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappears to the kitchen, and moments later, you hear the pop of a wine cork and the smooth sound of him pouring the alcohol into glasses.

He emerges from his kitchen, handing you a generously poured glass of wine. “Thanks, Harry,” you tell him before taking a big sip. It was sweet, and while you usually preferred a more dry wine, it was still delicious. 

“Cheers to the end of a successful first week,” he holds up his glass, and you smile, clinking yours with his. “Thanks for helpin’ me get through it, Y/N. Couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a timid smile.

“Stop, Harry. You’re a great teacher. I can see your kids love you already,” you take another sip of wine. “I kinda do too. I mean–– that came out wrong. I don’t love you, but I do think I like you.” You didn’t know what came over you at that moment, but something told you now was the time to lay it all out on the table with Harry. He sets his glass of wine down, the biggest smile on his face.

“Really? I thought you weren’t interested. Was kinda startin’ to feel like you hate me,” he sounds a little sad. You shake your head.

“Quite the opposite, actually. I’m really into you,” you didn’t even realize how you’d inched your way towards Harry. “I’ve been trying not to think about how we kissed because we shouldn’t, you know? We’re coworkers. I’ve been trying not to think about it all week, though, and I just can’t get you out of my mind.” He stares intensely into your eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek like he usually does when he’s thinking.

“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he finally asks. You’re in the same position as you were last time, being mere inches away from the other’s lips. Only this time, you smell the wine on his breath, not coffee. You nod quickly, and Harry cups your face in his hands, hungrily pressing his lips against yours.

“You can do more than kiss me, actually,” you tell him breathlessly. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

Harry raises an eyebrow, a shocked look on his face. “When you say anything…” he trails off.

“I want you to fuck me, Harry,” you tell him bluntly. “Please. Been wanting that all week.” He licks his lips, looking at you in a way he hasn’t yet before. 

“I can definitely do that,” he replies, resting his hand on your thigh. His large hand is dangerously close to your pussy, and you can already feel yourself growing wet. “Let’s get all these clothes off you then, huh?” 

You stand up and quickly start removing your clothes. First, your blouse comes off, and that’s quickly followed by your bra. Harry’s leaning back on the couch, arms resting behind his head. “Enjoying the show?” you ask, quickly pulling down your jeans and underwear. You’re completely naked in front of him in thirty seconds flat, and you reckon that’s the fastest you’ve ever undressed for anything. 

“Very much so,” he mumbles, palming himself over his khakis. “C’ mere, Y/N.” he pats his lap, and you move to sit in it, now straddling him. He softly presses his lips against yours, the hunger that was there just a moment ago completely dissipated. This was a much more hesitant kiss, more gentle and tender. “You’re really beautiful, Y/N.”

You giggle. “I know. You’ve told me that before.”

“I want you to know how much I mean it.”

“I know you do.”

Harry nods. “Can I have a taste of ya now?” you notice that his accent sounds a bit thicker than usual, voice a tad gruffer. You nod, swallowing thickly. Climbing off Harry, you lay back on the couch, situating yourself, so it’s a little more comfortable. He looks into your eyes, placing his hands on your knees. “Is this okay, Y/N?” You nod again, and he removes his hands.

“What’s wrong?” your voice has a hint of desperation in it, but after a week of extreme sexual tension, you wanted nothing more than to cum by the hands of this man.

“Wanna hear you tell me it’s okay. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want,” he’s looking down at his hands.

“Harry, I wouldn’t have given you a striptease and laid back on this couch for you if I didn’t want it. I wholeheartedly give you permission to do whatever you want with me––”

That’s enough for him. He roughly pries your legs open, immediately licking a long stripe up your heat. You cry out, not expecting him to get right into it. You look down at him and groan when you see he’s making eye contact with you, a smug look on his face. “How’s tha’, love?” You nod, tangling your hands in his curls.

“Yeah Harry, please,” you moan. Harry sucks harshly at your clit, pulling off loudly, the sound echoing throughout his minimally furnished apartment.

“Please what, pet?” He’s looking you dead in the eyes, a devilish grin on his face while his index finger rubs small circles on your clit. Your chest is heaving up and down quickly as you try to calm your breathing down.

“Please make me cum on your tongue, Harry,” you try pushing his head back down to your cunt, but he doesn’t budge.

“Think I rather like hearin’ you beg like this fo’ me. Enjoyin’ watching you squirm like tha’, love.” Just as your about to beg for him some more to feed his inflated ego, he attaches his lips to your clit once more, this time adding his ring finger into your tight pussy. “You’re tight. Sure you’ll be able to take my cock?” His voice is muffled, and you just barely make out what he says.

You clench around his finger, and he laughs, the vibrations sending a new sensation across your clit. “Y’like thinkin’ about my cock, hmm?”

“Yeah, want you in me,” you beg, lifting your hips up. He grips onto your hips tightly, keeping you in place.

“Can feel yeh gettin’ ready for me, darlin’. Think you can take another one?” You nod, and Harry gently places kitten licks on your swollen clit while he slowly pushes his middle finger into you. You feel full in a way you haven’t felt in such a long time, and he only had two fingers in you. Once he pumps his fingers in and out of you a few times, he goes back to harshly sucking on his clit, moaning every so often so you can feel the vibrations against your cunt.

“Fuck,” you’re moaning loudly, and you pray Harry’s neighbors don’t hear you, knowing how thin apartment walls were.

“So fuckin’ wet for me, doll,” he mutters, adding another finger inside you. The burn feels amazing, and you place your hand on his wrist, urging him to go faster. “Gonna cum in my mouth, hmm? Gonna let me feel ya around m’ fingers?”

“Yes, please, Harry,” you feel yourself nearly there, your orgasm threatening to overtake you at any moment. 

“Give it to me then, Y/N. Cum for me,” he demands. As soon as he says those three words, you’re done for, your body going tense as waves of pleasure roll throughout your body. He doesn’t remove his digits from the your cunt until you’re coming down from your high, placing a kiss to your clit. He laughs as you shudder at the overstimulation. Harry places his three fingers that were just inside of you and his mouth and sucks on them, not once breaking eye contact with you. 

“That was really good,” you tell him, crawling on your knees towards him to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw—Harry’s beaming, a triumphant look on his face.

“Not yet. Gotta make y’ cum one more time. I’m a gentleman, after all.” You know he’s messing with you but also serious, so you lean back on the couch, opening your legs once again.

“Are you gonna take off your clothes too? Why am I the only one that’s naked?” Harry laughs, and you hear the clanking of his belt as he undoes it. 

“You’re impatient, aren’t ya?” you nod, and he pulls down his tenting khakis and tight boxers. His cock springs up, slightly touching his stomach, and he hisses at the feeling. “Hold on a sec.” He gets up quickly, and you hear him hurry to what you assume in the bathroom, rummaging around. He comes back a minute later with a box of condoms, making you laugh.

“Is that a new box of condoms? Have you been holding onto those all week, Mr. Styles?” Harry rolls his eyes and opens the box, ripping open a condom expertly with his teeth.

“Weren’t you just the one beggin’ for me, pet? I’d watch it if I were you,” he jokes, rolling the condom onto his hard length. He leans down to place wet, opened mouth kisses to your breasts. “So beautiful.”

“Are you gonna take off your shirt?” you ask quietly. “I kinda wanna see all your tattoos.” Harry raises an eyebrow at you but unbuttons his shirt nevertheless, throwing it into the mess of clothes scattered around the living room. You reach your hand up, shakily tracing the swallows on his chest, moving down to the butterfly across his stomach and finally to the ferns on his abdomen. Harry’s staring down at you, watching as you delicately touch his skin. “You have so many.” you finally say. He nods.

“Yeah. Some of them I just got for the hell of it. Felt like after I got that first tattoo, it was hard to stop.” He caresses the skin on your thighs, and you shudder again. “Gonna let me get inside that pretty lil’ cunt now?”

“Please.”

Harry aligns himself with your entrance and slowly pushes into you, sharply inhaling as you clench around his length. “Relax, Y/N.’ve got ya,” he tells you reassuringly. “Can’t get inside ya if you’re all tense like tha’.” You can tell Harry’s trying his hardest not to absolutely wreck you, the vein in his forehead very prominent from clenching his jaw so tightly. You grip tightly onto his bicep, biting your lip as you adjust to his size. You were so wet and indescribably turned on that you felt every vein his thick cock had to offer, and you knew you wouldn’t last long once he started moving. By the looks of it, Harry wouldn’t either.

“You can move,” you tell him, squeezing your eyes shut. Harry slowly pulls out of you and then ever so gently sinks back inside you, bottoming out. He lets out a breathy moan, moving one of his hands up to tweak your nipples. “Harder, Harry, fuck.” 

He immediately pulls out of you and slams back inside, the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass echoing in the room. You scream in pleasure, no longer caring if his neighbors hear what you two were doing. 

“Like tha’?” He asks cheekily, working up a steady rhythm. You nod, gripping your boobs to keep them from bouncing. Harry shakes his head, forcefully removing your hands. “Nope, none of that. Wanna see ’em.” He takes both of your hands in one of his, pinning them up over your head. His other hand reaches in between your bodies to rub at your clit, and before you have time to warn him, you’re cumming again, squirting all over his cock. 

Harry throws his head back in pleasure, his thrusts getting sloppy and frantic, and you know he’s seconds away from his own orgasm. You spur him on, telling him how badly you wanted him to come inside of you (even though he was wearing a condom). He stills moments later, shaking above you as he holds himself up with an arm, not wanting to collapse on top of you.

“Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. Why did we wait a whole week to do this again?”

[writingtoforgetreality]

Forensic Scientist Sisters (Lucifer Morningstar x Reader)

Request: Hey!! I saw your recent post and was wondering if you could write a Lucifer x reader where the reader has a major crush on Lucifer and is really trying to impress him but Ella decides to help her out and be her wingwoman? The reader thinks that Lucifer is into Chloe at first but Lucifer is flattered and thinks she’s adorable and the ending is really fluffy? Sorry this seems like so much lol but thank you!😊 (by @xo-endlessmayhem-xo), [Lucifer-Masterlist]

Summary: Ella and you were the forensic scientists of the L.A.P.D. One person in the precinct made your work rather hard. Lucifer Morningstar. You wish you had not caught a crush but you could not help yourself. Besides, you knew he only had eyes for Chloe. At least that was what you thought.

Words: 1,486

Warnings: language, NO spoilers for Season 5 (you´re welcome), fluff, it´s very cute I promise (might write a second part to it if you want me to), Ella appreciation because she deserves it :), (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were one of the L.A.P.D´s forensic scientists. The department had decided to hire a second professional since Ella needed help with her work. How you managed to get this job? You were not quite sure. One second you were still in college and the next you were working with this talented team. At first you were incredibly shy but the more time you spent there the more you warmed up.

There was one person you could not grow used to, though. This someone being Lucifer Morningstar, consultant of the homicide detective Chloe Decker. The first moment you had laid your (Y/E/C) eyes on him you knew you were fucked. It was not like you actually worked alongside him, that was Chloe´s job unfortunately, but you always met at crime scenes and recently more often at the precinct, too. Whenever the two of you were left alone, you could feel his piercing eyes on you, this smirk of his, and you were blushing like crazy. Your stupid crush should not distract you from your work but he was giving you a hard time with that.

“(Y/N)! New corpse not too far away from here. You coming?” only Ella could sound this excited over a dead person. Her enthusiasm made you chuckle.

“On my way.” grabbing your equipment, you made your way over to where she was waiting for you.

“Let´s go!” her smile looked like one of a child in a play factory.

Of course this job was handled by Lucifer and Chloe. Sometimes, especially on days like these, you wished for Dan because he never intimidated you like Luci did. Luci. You heard this nickname once when his brother visited him at work and ever since then you had been calling him so, too.

“Miss Lopez! (Y/N)!” maybe you were imagining it but you could swear his smile was a little bit wider when he looked at you and said your name. Stupid, you were stupid. Why were you getting your hopes up? It was obvious to everyone that he was in love with Chloe. How could he not? She was literally the most beautiful human being you had ever seen.

Ella and you examined the corpse, taking pictures of the scene and so on. Everything a forensic scientist was supposed to do. Yet the woman next to you noticed you were not really here.

“(Y/N)? Everything alright?” her voice snapped you out of stance. It was then when you realized that you had been staring at Lucifer and Chloe. How he smiled so lovingly at her. How his admiration for the woman next to him could be felt all across the crime scene.

“Um, yeah, sorry. I was just...thinking. Where were we?” clearing your throat, you acted as if nothing just happened. Ella, though, could see your staring. Actually, that was not the first time she had caught you eyeing the tall, handsome man up and down. Despite her efforts of leaving the two of you alone, making sure you ended up working together more, you never made the first step. Yes, he flirted with you but you thought it was his personality. He did that with everyone, right? Ella knew better though. She had known Lucifer for a long time now and she had never seen him this nervous around a person. He simply tried to hide this with his flirting and he succeeded.

“When will you admit it, huh?” when you turned to Ella you could see her arms being crossed in front of her chest. Your eyebrows quirked in confusion.

“Admit what?” you took another picture, trying to focus on the scene in front of you.

“Seriously? You´ve been eye fucking Lucifer ever since you stepped into the precinct. Do something about it, it´s getting tiring.” she stated matter of factly. That made you look towards her, shock written all over your face. Were you really that obvious? A hand came up to scratch at the back of your neck. You made sure nobody could here you. Stepping closer to Ella, you still wanted to stay as quiet as possible, just in case.

“And do what exactly? Huh, Ella? I´m not getting between two people, forget it!”

“Between two people? What are you talking about?”

“Duh, him and Chloe of course. Everyone knows they are pretty much in love with each other.”

“And everyone being you, only you.”

“What?” by now you did not understand anything anymore.

“Oh my God, (Y/N)...Lucifer has literally been trying to ask you out for THE longest time. I know what you´re talking about. He flirts with everyone, really. BUT he´s never nervous while doing so. Never except for when he´s talking to you.” Ella looked so done with you. How could you be so oblivious? She knew she had to help you guys. Otherwise she would go insane if she had to watch the two of you for much longer.

“Ella...Look, you know I have a crush on him, okay I got it. But please don´t just assume he likes me, too.” your eyes dropped to the floor.

“I have a plan.” Ella mumbled more to herself but your eyes met hers as you had heard her. What was she up to?

Chloe walked over to where you were standing, Lucifer following closely behind.

“You guys finished?” the detective asked looking between Ella and you.

“I think we got everything, yeah. We can head back.” going through the pictures you took yet again, you made sure that you really captured everything.

“Good job, (Y/N)!” Lucifer praised you. This made you focus your gaze down, heat rising to your cheeks.

“Okay, Ella, let´s go.” you looked at her, motioning to your car that was parked a few feet away from you.

“Um, actually. I promised Chloe we would go to this shop that recently opened downtown. I´m going with her.” Ella glared at Chloe, hoping she would pick up on the lie she was currently forming.

“What shop?” the confusion subsided after Chloe saw Ella´s stern look. “O-ohh. Ahhh, THAT shop, of course, Ella. Let´s go, I can´t wait to finally visit it. See you guys.” the detective grabbed Ella by one of her arms and dragged her towards her car.

“Um? DETECTIVE? How am I supposed to go back to the department? Dete-” but before he could even finish, the car doors slammed and Chloe sped away with Ella in the passenger´s side, smiling successfully. Picking up on what Ella was trying to do you let your previous conversation replay in your head. Maybe she was right. But if she was not...she would be dead by the end of the day.

“Well, I´m heading back anyway...You could come with me if you wanna?” your heart skipped a beat but you were proud of yourself for delivering this without stuttering or anything. Lucifer´s smile grew at your offer.

“With pleasure, (Y/N).” the way your name sounded out of his mouth was so heavenly, so soft. Something you knew you wanted to hear all the time.

You both got seated in and as you were about to start the engine, you heard Lucifer speak up.

“That´s a lovely car. How come I´ve never been in here?”

“Why, thank you, Luci. I usually take Ella everywhere, that´s probably why.” this time you found yourself smiling from ear to ear. You enjoyed being in his presence. Yes, he could be a sarcastic piece of shit but so could you.

“Do you want to head back right away?” his look made you melt but you were not quite sure what his intention was. You went with it anyway.

“What are you suggesting?” you asked, hoping his next words were what you always wanted to hear.

“I know a nice restaurant in the city. Let me play navigation device.”

“Are you asking me on a date after investigating a crime scene?” you giggled at his plan.

“Um, yeah..I am.” Lucifer grew nervous and this was the first time you could actually tell he was. Ella was right, then. You had this effect on him.

“I´d love to, Luci.” you answered fast in order to not make him uncomfortable.

“Off we go then.” his smirk was already plastered on his face again. Of course, Devil things.

“First off all you need to start the engine, I´m afraid.” and there he was again, the teasing Lucifer everyone knew and loved.

“Really? Shit, haven´t thought about that at all.” your sarcastic tone made him laugh. You started your car and looked over at him. “Where to?”

“Turn right.” was the only thing he said. You could not believe that he asked you on a date. YOU. All this time you thought you were just a good friend. All this time you thought he had his eyes on Chloe. Oh, how wrong you were. This felt like the beginning of something magical. This felt right.

~to be continued~

Published (08/27/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @lestersglitterglue

[221bshrlocked]

Hands on Me

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 4132

Warnings: Bucky’s hands. Knife kink. Dirty talk. Metal arm kink. Language. Basically, the usual.

A/N: This third and last part is literally a year late and I can only apologize. Better late than never right? I do hope you enjoy this even though I’m not sure my smut, or my writing in general, is any good anymore. This will be up on AO3 soon with gifs. Please let me know how I’m doing in the comments. Thanks :)

Slow Hands | Hands Down

If you thought for a moment that he’d be gentle, you were sorely mistaken because as soon as Bucky stripped you, he was dragging you into your bathroom and slamming the door shut behind you.

“B-bucky,” you moaned his name in surprise as he lifted you up over the edge of the bathtub, turning the water on to check the temperature before switching it to the shower head. You only had a few seconds to yourself before he was turning around and violently pulling you towards him. 

“Fucking hell, you look so much prettier than I imagined doll.” His eyes roamed your shivering skin and you felt shy under his gaze, something that didn’t go unnoticed by him. The heat of the water made you even dizzier in his presence and as soon as you looked up, Bucky was twirling your around and pulling you flush to his chest. His left arm dragged against your front until it reached your throat and gently wrapped around it. You sighed and threw your head back, smiling when he started kissing your neck as his other hand fondled your boobs.

“Don’t get shy on me now sweet girl, we’re only just starting...and I really want to make all your wishes come true.” Bucky whispers in your ears, his warm fingers halting in their movements before pinching your nipples. You involuntarily buck your hips against him, sighing when you felt his hard cock against the curve of your back. Without warning, you reach around and wrap your hand around him, giggling when he swears into your ears and get a little rougher with his exploration.

“Shit baby you’re goin’ to be the death of me,” Bucky breathed heavily against you, watching as the water cascaded down your body, over the hand groping your breasts before running down your stomach and finally reaching where he really wanted to feel you. You pushed up against him with neediness, wanting to feel every inch of Bucky because you finally had him where you wanted. 

“Oh god Bucky please, please touch me.” You tried to turn your head to look at him but he didn’t let you, the metal fingers around your throat tightening just a little bit, almost as if he was warning you. 

“I am touching you doll.” He chuckled against your ears and you hated how in control he was. Actually, no that wasn’t true. You hated how quickly he turned you into a puddle, but not that he was in control. 

“Y-you know what I mean, I- I need you inside me. Please, I just ahhh,” he didn’t give you a chance to finish your thought, his hand descending down your body until it slid between your thighs and grabbed hold of you. You didn’t about anything else, focusing on the still pressure he was applying just by holding your cunt. 

“This what you want baby?” Bucky finally turned your head only to crash his lips with yours, never giving you a chance to respond as he swallowed your moans. Your legs were already shaking and you were afraid you’d slip and fall but you had a feeling that Bucky wouldn’t let that happen. With his foot, he pushed your legs open to get comfortable between your thighs, all the while continuing his assault on your lips. You tried to gain some semblance of control but he didn’t let you, his tongue and teeth making sure you knew who was in charge. Bucky’s hips bucked a little harder when he felt your nails dig into the flesh of his ass.

“You like it rough doll? Fine, I’ll give you rough!” Before you could register his words, you felt his fingers inch inside you, not giving you a chance to adjust to the intrusion and driving two of them in and out of you. 

You screamed his name over and over again, not sure how it was possibly to climax in such a short period of time. 

“B-bucky wait...oh fuck fuck please s-stop I-” 

“Nuh uh, you ain’t getting rid of me that easily dollface. You begged for my hands, and now you’re getting them.�� You felt his chest vibrate against your back and you realized he was laughing, never once letting up as your walls continued to flutter around his fingers time and again. Bucky committed every inch of you to his memory, filling his eyes with your heaving chest before looking down and watching as his fingers disappeared time and again inside you.

“God damn Y/N, you’re so fucking wet for me, so warm and sweet and ready. ‘Ve wanted to fuck you for so long baby doll…”

“P-please I-”

“But now that I have you here, I want to take my time with you...memorize your body, your moans, feel what I do to you. So fucking beautiful.” You weren’t sure what had done, if it was his words or the way he continued to hit that sweet spot inside of you, but all of a sudden, you shattered again around him, your legs giving out as you violently came in his arms. Bucky finally stopped when he felt your body turn into jello, swearing under his breath when he watched your juices flow down your legs and his hands.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re going to do that for me again...but when you’re dry, just so I could watch how wet you are for me.” You weren’t sure what he was talking about until your eyes fluttered open and you watched as he sucked on his fingers. 

The tub was halfway full and Bucky turned the water off before slowly turning you around and wrapping his arms around you. He kissed you with so much passion you almost thought he meant it with all of his emotions. You were about to move and wrap your arms around his neck when he pulled away and shook his head, walking you back and until you reached the other end of the tub. 

“On your knees Y/N,” Bucky’s voice reverberated through your mind and you immediately did as you were told. He never looked away as he sat down at the edge of the bathtub, smiling at you as he spread his legs and nodded for you to come to him. 

You were still in a haze from the multiple orgasms Bucky had just given you and you almost jumped when he spoke to you again.

“I won’t ask twice doll,” you swallowed the lump in your throat when he laid back and dragged his hand through his wet hair before supporting his weight on his arms. 

Slowly, you crawled to him in the water, your eyes finally looking away from his blue orbs. You weren’t sure why there was some reluctance on your part but you pushed through your shyness and placed your hands on his upper thighs, licking your lips before leaning forward and kissing his navel. You could feel the shift in his demeanor above you, not sure if it was a good or a bad thing. 

Bucky assumed you’d immediately suck him off but when he felt your lips kiss his stomach, he moaned your name, his hand going to the back of your neck reassuringly. You could hear his breathing pick up above you and you got a little more confident, digging your nails in his thighs and smiling when you felt his cock jut against you. 

“God damn baby you’re killing me,” Bucky finally opened his eyes and looked down just in time to see you wrap your lips around the head of his cock. His abdominal muscles clenched as he felt your teeth softly graze the side of his dick, hissing when he felt one of your hands cup his balls and fondle them.

“Oh shit that’s so good. You feel so good Y/N, that’s it. Be a sweet girl and take me all the way. Come on doll, all the f-fucking way-” You didn’t waste any time, relaxing your throat before you followed the push of his hand on your neck and took him in until his cock hit the back of your throat. You stayed still for a few seconds, moaning around him before looking up at him. You saw something dangerous swim in his eyes before his fingers combed through your hair and pulled on it to get you off of him. 

“Fucking hell, I want to come down your throat so fucking badly doll. Can’t think of anything else when those pretty lips are stuffed with my cock. Shit, I- want you in ways I can barely begin to describe.” Bucky leaned down and kissed you again, but this time, he was the one moaning in your lips as you jerked him off. He didn’t even bother to control himself, his other hand wrapped so tightly around your waist you were sure it would leave bruises all over your skin. 

You quickened your pace, pushing him away when you heard him growl into your mouth. Pushing him away, you kneeled down again and took his cock in your mouth, sucking as hard as you can while you looked up at him. 

And my god did he look beautiful when he came. 

You couldn’t dare to turn away from him, watching as his eyes shut and his head fell back as he came in hot spurts down your throat. You continued your assault on him, licking the tip of his dick and sucking harshly on him until he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled you off of him and took a few seconds to collect his thoughts, finally looking down at you with hunger in his eyes.

Before you knew what was happening, Bucky was standing up and stepping out of the tub. You thought he was a little wobbly but if he was, he hid it, grabbing a towel and motioning to you with his fingers to get up and stand in front of him. You did so without questioning him, watching as he haphazardly patted the two of you down before depositing the towel somewhere. 

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him, leaning down to grab your thighs before whispering for you to cross your legs around his waist. You followed his lead and held onto his shoulders, letting your desires run away with you as you licked and sucked on his neck. He tensed above you before pulling on the handle of the door to open it, almost as if it offended him somehow by not opening itself. 

Bucky walked to your bed and threw you down on it, going back to his clothes and looking for something in it before returning to stand at the side of your bed. His eyes shamelessly roamed your body, before slowly making his way around to the foot of the bed. 

“Spread your legs.” Bucky ordered lowly and you bit your lower lip before obeying the command. When he did nothing but stare at you, you felt embarrassed by his lack of action and moved to shut your legs. 

Bucky didn’t like that. Not one bit.

“Don’t ever fucking dare to hide from me.” It should have scared you how ungentle his voice was, but for some odd reason, it turned you on even more. He kneeled between your legs with his thigh before you finally saw what he was fishing out of his clothes. Your eyes followed the sharp object in his hand as he fell forward and cornered you between his arms.

“Do you trust me Y/N?” Bucky asked, his eyes trailed down your neck and watched as your nipples pebbled under his gaze. He smiled at your obvious reaction to his words and the object that caused you to get hurt not a few hours ago. When you didn’t respond, he gently held the knife between his fingers and slowly moved the tip down your neck, stopping at your clavicle before applying enough pressure to catch your attention.

“I asked a question doll, and I need an answer before this goes any further.” Bucky finally holds your attention and he doesn’t move an inch, afraid you’d have to say yes because of your position. But then you surprise him with your choice in words and he could all but control himself from doing what he’d wanted to do ever since he heard you screaming his name as you fucked yourself to the thought of him.

“With my life James,” he feels your hand hold onto his metal wrist and nod your consent, finally letting go as he moves the tip of the knife down your body. You arch your back when you feel the knife circle around your nipple, wishing you could look down and watch his motions but knowing you’d enjoy it so much more if you just focused on feeling him.

Bucky is hyper aware of your breathing pattern, occasionally moving his focus to your facial expressions to make sure he wasn’t doing something you disliked. He was satisfied to see how responsive you were to him, continuing the descent of the dangerous weapon down your stomach until it reached in between your thighs. 

“B-bucky I...I need you t-” The words died in your throat when you felt the knife stop right above where you wished he would use it.

“Ask me.” Bucky leaned forward, his breath fanning on your cheek letting you know he really didn’t care if it was embarrassing you to need him this much or not. 

“Use me Bucky,” you sighed against him, your skin wishing he could continue to touch you without needing you to beg. But a part of you enjoyed this cat and mouse game as well and you knew that should he want you to beg for him, you would do so without hesitation. 

“With pleasure doll,” Bucky whispered in your ear before he tapped your clit with the cool, flat surface of the knife before expertly swiping it across. You weren’t sure how it happened exactly, but one minute, you were taking in quick, shallow breaths at the dangerous motions of the weapon, and the next thing you knew, you were feeling coldness seep inside your wet cunt. Eyes widening in surprise, you looked down to see Bucky spitting on your pussy, maintaining eye contact as he kept the edge of the knife on your clit while his metal fingers inched deeper inside you. And just like earlier, he didn’t give you a chance to prepare yourself, making sure the sharp steel wasn’t moving as he fucked you with his fingers. 

You propped yourself up on your elbows, eyes unsure of what to focus on. Bucky never once looked away from you, his metal fingers driving in and out of you with a force so unbelievable you felt your lungs fail to expand with air. You attempted to grab his hand to slow him down but he didn’t let you, smirking down at you as he felt the familiar clenching of your walls around his fingers. He enjoyed this much more than he thought he would, somehow feeling more of you with his metal appendage than his flesh one. 

But Bucky was losing his patience, his cock already hard again and looking for attention. Growling his frustration, Bucky chucked the knife behind him before flicking your clit with his thumb until you were coming on his hands. You attempted to move away from him but he gave you a warning look before continuing his ministrations, his chest filling with pride when you gushed on his arms and thighs like earlier. You were at a loss for words, whispering incoherent sentences as you felt your stomach flip time and again as he prolonged your orgasm. 

“Fuck Bucky please just- ah fuck fuck s- staahhp,” you dropped to the mattress when you felt him pull out of you and spread your legs even wider. Wiping the sweat from your forehead, you looked up just in time to see Bucky coming back his hair, his eyes taking in your wrecked body before grabbing his cock and jerking it a few times. 

“Your pussy is for me Y/N...only me. It’s mine to fill up,” Bucky dragged his cock across your wet lips, spreading your juices everywhere before slowly pushing in. You moaned in unison, unable to hold back anymore. “Fucking stretch it open...ah shit and mine when I sink every last fucking inch of my cock inside you.” He bottomed out, holding himself up for a few moments to enjoy you wrapped around him before he pulled out and thrust back in again. 

Your hands fisted in your sheets, wanting him to get rougher but not sure if you had another orgasm in you. But it seemed that Bucky was still calling the shots. He must have read your mind because suddenly, he was sitting up and grabbing your hips, his rhythm picking up and making you see stars.

“Oh my god baby girl…your cunt is so tight and wet and hot for me. I need you sweet baby, want to fuck you every single day.” Bucky’s hands tightened around you and it made you even more wet just thinking of the discoloration that would surely appear in the next few hours. 

“K-keep talking Buck, please-” He growled at your request, finding it extremely sexy that you got off of his needy ramblings. 

“You’re all I think about Y/N...shit, so good- driving me crazy sweetheart. Just wanna shove my cock so deep inside you till I lose control doll.” He let go of your hips and grabbed your boobs, squeezing them so hard you almost forgot to breathe. 

“My neck...James, my ohh yeah right there, m-my neck Bucky...go for it.” You weren’t sure if he could understand what it was you were asking him or if any of what you just said was grammatically correct, but you sighed in satisfaction when you felt his hands let go of your boobs and wrap around your neck.

“You’re such a good doll for letting me fuck you so deep and hard...feel my cock throbbing inside your cunt. Fucking t-take it!” Bucky made sure to not lose too much control on himself, his eyes focused on the fingers applying pressure on your throat. He could tell how much you enjoyed this because the more pressure he applied, the tighter you clenched around his cock. 

“Fucking hell baby where have you been all my life? I wanna have you again Y/N, will you let me? Will you let me make you feel good again? Today, tomorrow, every fucking day from now on.” 

“Yes oh god yes whatever you want Buck...take whatever you want.” You held onto his wrists, moaning his name over and over as he continued to mark every inch of you. 

“That’s my girl...taking such good care of my cock...Oh my god-” All of a sudden, Bucky let go of your neck, raising your leg on his shoulder as he fucked into you relentlessly. You opened your eyes just in time to see him shoving his index finger inside your mouth. You sucked on it until you felt him drive harshly in you, immediately biting down to control your screams.

“Touch yourself baby, come on.” He breathlessly said, his eyes not sure where to look. Your flushed skin. Your hardened nipples. Or the way your cunt sucked him back inside with every buck of his hips.

“I- I can’t Bucky...too much. T-too sensitive.”

“Fucking touch yourself Y/N...you owe me another one. Now!!” Bucky’s jaws clenched, the hold he had on your cheeks tightening when you bit harder and listened to him. He watched as your fingers circled around your clit, knowing he couldn't last any longer. When you looked like that beneath him.

“Come with me...oh god please come with me, I- I need you to come on my cock baby girl...with me- ff-fuck yeah I- ahaaa I- fuck fuck oh my god-” He came with your name on his lips, continuing to drive into you until you felt his cum so hot and deep inside you. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but feeling the string of warmth reach so deep inside your pussy made you see stars. He thrust in a few more times before he couldn’t take it anymore, falling on top of you but making sure he wasn’t crushing you.

You spent a few minutes in each others’ arms, occasionally hissing when his cock jerked inside you or your pussy unintentionally clenched around him. 

Very gently, Bucky pulled out of you, already missing the heat of your walls wrapped so deliciously around him. But he needed to give you a break. He needed to get a break as well or else he’d take you again.

When he stood up, your heart stopped beating, afraid he was going to get dressed and leave. But then he came back with a wet cloth and wiped your thighs, chuckling when you immediately shut them once he started to dab the warm cloth over your pussy.

“Oh please no-” You were afraid he was going to go at it again but he hummed at you before throwing it away. 

Pulling the covers on top of you, Bucky maneuvered you around until you were almost laying on top of his chest. He wrapped his arm around you, kissing your forehead as he circled your shoulders with his fingers. 

It was quiet for a long time before Bucky spoke.

“So uhh, I realize I should have asked beforehand but, I didn’t use a condom...sort of got carried away.” He didn’t seem too upset about it and a strange thought crossed your mind before it flew away.

“Oh I’m...I’m on the pill. And I haven’t had sex in a while so I’m clean.” You awkwardly retorted, not sure what else you could do besides mirror his actions and draw random things on his chest. 

“Same here.” He responded immediately and the simple answer fascinated you.

“As in you haven’t had sex in a while either or you’re clean?” You wished you weren't so quick with the question, or the excitement behind it, but you were. And you cringed as soon as you asked it.

“Both.” Bucky said, matter of factly, as if it was a strange question to ask him.

“Huh, that’s weird.” You mumbled against his skin. 

“Why is that weird doll?” Bucky pulled back to get a better look at you.

“Well, you’re you. You’re this gentle, sweet, attractive guy so I’m not sure why you haven’t..you know...in a while.”

“We’ve really just fucked the life out of each other and you’re embarrassed of saying “gotten laid”? Really Y/N?” He laughed when you hid from his gaze, whispering his apologies for being somehow too vulgar for you.

“If you must know, I was waiting for the right dame...and I’m glad I did.” Bucky pushed a strand of hair away from your face and watched as it finally dawned on you what he meant. 

“Oh.”

“Seriously, we need to work on your bedside manner sweetheart. I just said the filthiest things to you and here you are, unable to take a simple compliment because I’m not balls deep inside this sweet cunt of yours.” You were shocked by his forward words this time and attempted to push him away, only for him to roll you under him and make sure you had nowhere to look.

“I mean it Y/N…” You looked into his eyes and saw admiration and warmth with what he said. 

“You better have...or else I wouldn’t be fine with you not using a condom.” You tried to distract him but the words only backfired. 

“I think you meant to say you really enjoyed me coming inside you doll, which, I am not opposed to. On the contrary, I rather enjoyed it.” He laughed when you smacker his arm before pulling him down to kiss him.

“To think all of this was because of my hands…”

“I think you meant to say your very sexy, very strong and talented hands…” You said right before you took his metal one and kissed it. He blushed from the small gesture and you found it adorable that of all the things you’d said and done, this was what got him to blush. 

“Would you look at that? I guess I’m not the only one horrible at taking compliments.” You teased him, your smile faltering when you saw the familiar glint in his eyes.

“Oh you’re going to regret you said that sweetheart.” 

[yandere-daze]

Mine forever- Yandere Risotto Nero x reader (Smut)

A continuation of the Risotto yandere scenario I posted earlier today. You can find it here!  Literally no one asked for this but was in the mood to write this. I´ve actually never written smut before so I´m sorry if it isn´t all that good. I hope you´ll still like it tho!! ^^

Also @kindajared because you wanted a tag when I post this. Here you go!

You were right with your earlier assumption. You wouldn´t leave this office anytime soon, not if Risotto had any say in it. His hand was gently caressing your face, but you knew. As soon as you showed any kind of resistance, he would harshly grab your face and pull you close again. You couldn´t leave, even if you wanted to. But now as Risotto was practically devouring your lips, biting them now and again, you weren´t so sure you really wanted to leave anymore. You felt yourself slowly relaxing and easing into the kiss, returning his fervor as you grabbed him by his shoulder, pulling your boss even closer. You could feel his warm breath against your face as he chuckled lowly. “Is someone getting excited?”, he mused.

“No! I- ahh!”, you tried to explain yourself but any kind of defense you might have conjured up in your mind seemed to disappear when you felt a foreign pressure against your lips. Risotto had lightly parted his own lips to press his tongue against yours, asking for permission. Seeing how he gazed at you expectantly and almost demanding, you couldn´t help but submit as you did the same, granting him entrance to your mouth. Without wasting any time, you immediately felt his tongue intermingle with yours, creating a strange foreign feeling as you two wrestled for dominance. While you felt Risotto further explore your mouth, he started to lift the hand resting on your cheek and moved it further down along your neck with fluttering touches. His hand went lower and lower before resting on your butt, giving it a teasing squeeze. You let out a light gasp at the feeling “C-capo! Stop that! What are you trying to do?”. “You know exactly what I´m trying to do amore.”, he whispered after breaking off your passionate kiss. Moving his hand upward again, he slipped it under your shirt, gently caressing your back with calloused hands, before repositioning them again, now resting on top of your breasts. You let out a shaky breath as he slowly moved his hands, playing with your nipples. “Risotto! Ahh- are you sure about this? ” , you couldn´t help but ask. Were you really going to…? Was that even allowed? He WAS your boss after all. Seemingly noticing your hesitancy his face morphed into a smirk as he continued fondling your breasts, lowering his voice again to whisper into your ear. “You have no idea, darling. I´ve wanted to do this for so long. Having you under me, moaning my name as I pound into you, claiming you forever as mine. You will be mine, amore. I´ll make you feel so good you won´t ever want anyone else again. So please, be a good girl for me and let me take care of you.”

To say that what he whispered into your ear had no effect on you would have been a bold-faced lie. You felt heat rise to your face and a strange feeling pool at the bottom of your stomach as you subtly tried to squeeze your thighs together at the strange sensation. This of course, didn´t go unnoticed by your boss who immediately focused his strong gaze onto your lower body. He removed one of his hands from your chest while the other one continued to circle around your nipples, teasing them relentlessly causing you to let out soft mewls in pleasure. Completely focusing on his left hand, you were surprised when you felt pressure against your clit coming from his right hand. It seemed that while you weren´t paying attention, he had slipped his hand under your skirt now fondling you through your already  soaked panties. “ Fuck, you´re so wet for me amore. You want this as much as I do, don´t you? You love the attention I´m giving you. Let me get rid of these needless distractions.”, he said as he almost teasingly removed your shirt and skirt, leaving you standing in your underwear in front of his hungry eyes, clouded over by lust. “I´m half naked and you´re completely clothed? That´s not very fair now is it?”, you decided to tease back. Letting out a low chuckle at the display of your playful nature, he removed most of his clothes, leaving only his boxers on which gave you a …. very nice view to say the least. Risotto´s giant bulge was very visible now, stretching the material it was incased in. You couldn´t help but reach out a curious hand, wanting to touch it now that it was so close to you. Finally touching the soft material of his boxers, you decide to be bold and slip your hand under the garment, just as he had done for you. You were surprised to feel how hard he had already gotten as you start to slowly move your hand up and down his giant cock. How was this even supposed to fit into you, you wondered. “Fuck, tesoro you´re being so good for me. Don´t stop! Can you see what you do to me? I´ve been fantasizing about this for so long, having you writhe underneath me. Ahhhh.”, your ministrations obviously did something to him, letting out low groans while he kept rubbing at your clit, now tossing your panties aside. You couldn´t help but let out a loud moan as he slowly pressed one of his fingers against your entrance before pushing further and entering you. It was a strange and at first a bit painful feeling, but you soon became accustomed to it. Apparently feeling your walls slowly relax around him he inserted a second finger, stretching you even further as he began to do a scissoring motion and you continued to stroke his hard cock. You could feel a pool of pleasure build up inside you as you slowly started to meet his fingers by pushing your hips forward, trying to create more friction in the process. “God, I don´t think I can hold back anymore y/n. I want to fuck so you bad. Bend you over my desk as I pound into you. I´m going to mark you all over so everyone will know you´re mine. I´m going to fill you up so good amore! You´ll let me do that, right?”. You couldn´t do anything except shakingly nod your head in approval. The feeling of your capo´s fingers twisting inside of you felt good but it wasn´t quite enough anymore. You wanted the real deal. You waited impatiently as Risotto stood up to remove his boxers, now feeling incredibly empty without his fingers inside of you. He shot you a teasing gaze while sliding them down painfully slow so you couldn´t help but send back a small glare. He only chuckled before now standing completely naked in front of you, his impressive length being right in front of you, almost teasingly. “Now”, your boss began while roughly grabbing you by your shoulders, pushing you down on your back so you would lie on top of his desk, not caring what kind of mess you two would make. He grinned down at you with hungry eyes as he started to teasingly rub the tip of his hard cock against your wet folds, making you shiver in anticipation. Not being able to handle the emptiness any longer you exclaim “Just put it in already!”. “Feisty are we now? You know who´s in charge here right? But I´ll comply this time.” He then pushed into you, slowly stretching your tight walls around him as he entered you. It hurt but you knew the pain would fade away soon, just as it did with his fingers, so you tried to relax to make the beginning more bearable. “That´s it tesoro, you´re taking my cock so well. It´s like your pussy was made for me to claim. You´re perfect for me. Let me hear your pretty voice call out my name in ecstasy!”, he proclaimed as he slowly picked up the pace when he saw you were adjusting to his size. You felt so satisfied and full now as your boss started to thrust into you, moving his hips as he pushed in and out of your pussy. You couldn´t help but let out a loud moan and curl your toes as he hit that sweet spot inside of you. “That´s it, moan for me! Let everyone hear that you´re mine!” He pulled you closer so he could get easier access to your neck, leaving hickies to further mark you as his as he continued to pound into you, going at a rapid pace now. “God your pussy feels so good, you´re so tight. You´re making me go crazy y/n!”, he exclaimed while drilling into you, making you feel so good as he kept hitting that spot. You felt like you were in heaven, it just felt too good to be true. “Fuck yes, Risotto! Please keep fucking me! Make me cum, capo!!”, you moaned out. You didn´t care what you sounded or looked like right now, you just knew that you didn´t want this moment to end. Hearing you call him capo seemed to awaken something in him. He let out a low groan as he picked up the pace even more, fucking you relentlessly, balls deep inside of you. “Ahhh y/n I´m growing close. You´re close too, right? You´re clenching around me so good! Let´s cum together. This is an order from your capo y/n. Cum for me! Cum on my cock and milk me dry!”. You´ve never seen your boss like this before but you hoped it wouldn´t be the last time. He made you feel so good, you were seeing stars as you frantically screamed his name as you felt your climax approaching, your toes curling up again. “Fuck! Risotto I´m going to cum!”, you exclaimed as you frantically met his harsh thrusts , gradually getting closer to the edge before finally feeling white hot release as you shuddered and twitched unvoluntarily. You felt Risotto was close too, you felt his dick twitch inside you as your walls clenched around him.

He let out another low groan before pulling out, stroking his hard cock some more before quickly pushing inside your pussy again. “I´m going to come too darling! You´re just to good for me. You´re going to let me come inside you right? I want to so badly. I´ll fill you up with my cum and claim you forever! You´re mine right? Say it!”. He was growing dangerously close, you could tell from his frantic thrust so you decided to say what he wanted to hear to drive him over the edge. “I´m all yours capo! Please fill me up! I want your cum inside of me, I want you to claim me as yours!”

“Ahhhh fuck- I´m gonna, I´ll-!”he let out rushed sentences before finally finding release as you felt his cum fill you up, some  even dropping out of your pussy from the sheer amount of it. Both of you heaving and panting, you slowly started to come down from your high as he practically laid on top of you, cradling your hand. “You´re all mine now. You´ll never leave me and no one is going to take you away from me. We´ll be together forever!”

He´ll never let you out of his sight now.

[bereft-of-frogs]

Fanfic Author Asks

Thanks for tagging @veliseraptor ! Drinking red wine, wrote 1.5k words, ready to answer some questions!

Author Name: bereft of frogs

Fandoms You Write For: I’ve really gotten onto an MCU streak. I’ve never been this productive in my life. And churning out like...actual completed fics. MCU is apparently my current home. I also sometimes write for Les Misérables, and, despite my griping earlier today, I do still have my ‘Death Gods magnum opus’ planned for Supernatural. As far as ‘fandoms I write for and never publish’ that list is much, much longer. ;-)

Where You Post: now I only post to Ao3. I have a fanfiction.net account, but I haven’t crossposted anything in years. I still have some bookmarks saved there that I’d like to keep, but it’s unlikely I’ll start regularly posting to fanfiction.net ever again.

Most Popular One-Shot: My most kudo-ed one-shot (defining ‘one-shot’ as self-contained story in one chapter, not part of a serialized narrative’ so I excluded ‘hard road’), is ‘hurts like ghosts’. (If I was counting ‘hard road’ which I maybe should because this one was, technically, a one-shot when I posted it, the answer would be ‘bone and broth.’)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Easy-peasy answer. ‘pain and other human sensations.’

Favourite Story You Wrote: I honestly, absolutely am super proud of ‘dark underground//violent sky’. It’s pretty fucked up, and I multiple times in the notes said it was “the worst fandom thing I’d ever done” but that was just to cover how much it delighted me. I’m real proud of it.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: I’m nervous for a couple upcoming works, right now, but of what I’ve already posted, probably the third chapter of ‘bound at the end of the world’. Oh no, I remember, it was definitely the chapter ‘Betrayal’ in ‘pain and other human sensations.’ I was rambling in the notes, I was nervous to check for comments. It was not the most Tony Stark friendly chapter, very anti-Sokovia Accords, and introduced a female OC...I was hella stressed. It worked out well though, and really was probably one of my best chapters of that fic.

(I’m frequently nervous posting fics so this question had a lot of possible answers.)

How Do You Pick Your Titles: Honestly it’s mostly ‘how dramatic does this sound’? Rarely it’s song titles (Like ‘spare me over’ from ‘O Death’ and ‘hurts like ghosts’ adapted from Lord Huron’s ‘Love Like Ghosts’.)

Do You Outline: Yes and no. Sometimes fics just pour out of me in a slightly horrifying word-vomit. Bigger projects often have a rough outline of scenes in brackets (example: [background info here] [conversation about X]). The Biggest Project (the Endgame AU) has a very, very detailed outline.

How Many of Your Stories are complete: So far all of them, because I’m terrified of repeating my youthful mistakes. I don’t start posting until I’m 100% sure I can complete it in a reasonable amount of time. Right now I have two in-progress series (the nine in the tree and hard road) but all of my individual fics are technically complete on Ao3.

In-Progress: Um. Well...I guess I have like 10 currently in some state of existing?

Coming Soon:  Been mostly concentrating on the big bangs, but here’s what’s coming:

Marvel Big Bang: ‘of the stern agony and shroud’ (Part I of ‘the dead reign there alone’. Part II ‘his chambers in the silent halls of death’ is also coming along quite nicely, so should be ready by the time the big bangs posts!). Hela reigns in Asgard. Thor and Loki struggle with this.

Thorki Big Bang: (very nervous to post, first foray into the ship) ‘water all around’ A young Thor and Loki go off by themselves and find themselves investigating a mysterious set of disappearances in a small village. (Hundreds of years later, aboard a refugee festival with the last remnants of their people, they’re circling each other again.)

Grandthorki Day: (also so, so nervous to post. It’s really fucking dark. Real dark. I’m sorry. But hey, it’s over 7k words and has a title now.) ‘actors without props//beasts without names’. The Grandmaster likes to put on a show.

Whumptober 2019 Project: (thus far untitled). I picked 8 prompts, a totally reasonable number. Totally. Reasonable. My goal is to start posting on October 24, to culminate on October 31, which is Halloween but also my fandom-versary! I can’t believe I was smart enough a year ago to make my first day actively posting fanfiction Halloween. I truly am, That Spooky Bitch.

I know people are looking for the ‘Endgame AU’ (alone amidst the ruins) to appear on this. But I decided that, personally, feeling satisfied with the narrative is more important to me than rushing it out. The Worst Draft is about 2/3 done, then I’ll start rewriting, I’m really hoping to hit a groove and get it done soon, but I don’t want to make any promises about how soon that will actually be.

Do You Accept Prompts: Sure why not! I’ve asked for prompts before for ‘hard road’, but I’d be happy to take general prompts, or prompts for other series (like ‘the nine in the tree’) or whatever! I had a lot, a lot of fun answering all those AU headcanon asks, so I’m always thrilled when I get asks/questions/prompts! (Can’t always promise that how quickly I’ll get things done, but I’ll do my best!)

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: As much as I’m nervous to post the Thorki big bang, because it does feel a bit like tipping over a cliff, not just taking on a challenge to cover a really popular pairing but also opening myself up to possible intense criticism, or future scrutiny*, I’m honestly really, really satisfied with the narrative and the quality. I’m proud of it. I’m excited to get to share it.

*Even though yes, I am the one who, just hours ago, when faced with the rumors that VE Schwab was an incest shipper/supported incest shipping (accusations thrown around by the Supernatural fandom of all people) did say that if it turned out to be true I’d actually probably respect her more. I’m still a bit nervous.

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions: Ahhh you all know how bad I am at tagging people. I’m going to try, just a couple, but you’re under no obligation and I’m sorry if you’ve already been tagged: @kiwimeringue @adhd-loki

Okay I tagged two actual humans, other than that, please do consider this an open tag! If you want to go for it!

[thebroodyelf]

Arcana

Being new to the fandom I enjoyed all of this very shady, funny, clever and smutty fanfictions & art pieces over here and on AO3 way too much. And of course I couldn´t hold back, the need to contribute something was too strong to resist ;´)

So... there´s going to be a fanfiction. Betareading´s still in progress, but anyways... Here is the first chapter.

1 What is this fiction?

It starts off with a retelling of Julian´s book VI, Gift and Curse/Laying low, BUT behold! It´s certainly not a mere written version of the events, no, as the story gets eely the plot is more and more altered, because Julian is Julian.

The apprentice in my version is called Octavia and yes, she has hit Julian´s head with the bottle in book I (in case you were wondering). And then there is a certain palace guard / Sherlock Holmes wannabe called Iuno. Things will get messy, I promise ^^

As I have played through book I to V and Julian´s book VII The Chariot only, you can witness my playing progress, for I´m going to weave it into this fiction. Have fun, hope you like it! 1

Portia: “Eh, yes, well here we are and you want to hear the story, right? It all started one night. Pepi and me, we were home. The palace gardens are nice and welcoming in the hot summer. All the birds chirping, telling their goodbyes to the sinking sun. Well. Guess you want to hear more about the palace´s secrets another time. But now, I´ll stick to Ilja´s story. Back then, he had just returned to Vesuvia. After the red plague he had been gone for quite a while... As far as I know, he intended to seek out Asra, a mighty magician of the city and a former lover of his. Hem. That particular night it all started, Ilja spent brooding about the past, standing at one of the aqueducts in the outskirts of the city…”

Gift and Curse

“Octavia?”

Surprise spreading over his face, Julian Devorak steps out of the dimness of their shady surroundings. He now stands at the edge of the aqueduct, a dark silhouette framed by the light of the moon. Behind him, the city towers like a behemoth, a chaotic sprawl of building stacked atop each other. In his hands is a mask with a long, curved red beak that he turns slowly, like he´s contemplating what to do with it.

“Octavia. Fancy seeing you here, hm? Out for a night walk?”

He sighs, gaze dropping to the reservoir pool below. The red of his coat reflects and refracts in the water, splashes of crimson dancing against each other.

“Me, I was just… thinking. Funny, fickle thing, life, isn´t it?”

Octavia looks up at the lanky doctor. “Should you be standing so close to the water?”

Her dark brown hair resembles molten chocolate in the strange light, her green eyes clearly show her worry.

With a nonchalant wave of his hand, Julian responds, lips twisted into one of his famous lopsided grins: “What, this water? It´s harmless, Octavia, or as harmless as it can be. It won´t do anything to me. Or anything to anyone, anymore. Sure, a few people might get sick if they go for a swim, but…”

He trails off, as his former trail of thoughts resurfaces. “Isn´t it a miracle? They went and figured it out. Or outlasted it. Wonder how they did it?”

A short pause follows, then he continues: “It´s no matter, I suppose. Life finds a way, doesn´t it? The plague is over. Ahhh. And so is my career, just like that.”

With a dramatic gesture Julian lifts the mask to examine it on eye level one last time. “Who needs a plague doctor if there´s no plague?”

Not far away, hidden behind a broken cart, a figure lurks in the dark, listening to the hushed voices. She had been waiting for a sign, apparently, for now she lifts her head with a small smile.

“Today is my lucky day… That is the killer, Countess Satrinava wants to be found.”

Iuno Aurelia gets up without making any noise. She is a palace guard and tonight, despite her usual, boring duties as such, she is on the hunt. It´s actually not her task. Being new in Vesuvia she had wanted to apply for the job, solve the mystery of Count Lucio´s death, become the greatest detective of all times, but somebody – a witch apprentice with a high reputation – had literally snatched it away right under Iuno´s nose. So much for interesting labour.

“Yet I am here, right in time.” Iuno makes a move and glides next to the cart. “And all it took were a stroll through the neighbourhood and my intuitioaaahrgh!!!”

Her foot rolls over a broken jug and she falls over. Above her head a raven lets out a ragged screech. “Shit!”

“Guards afoot, Octavia. Look lively! We´d best make tracks!”

Both leap into action at the same time, running further down the aqueduct to reach the street. The doctor gets there first, turning back to Octavia as she runs. Her foot slips on a wet stone, tumbling her backwards into the reservoir below.

“Octavia!!!”

With a loud splash the woman sinks like a stone. The doctor, shock painted all over his pale face, dashes back and grabs Octavia´s wrist in the last moment. With one strong pull he tugs her out of the water, a translucent creature attached to her belly. 

“A vampire eel?!!”

Iuno has still some distance to cover, before she can reach the two criminals. She cannot yet make out their faces in the dim light, but the sight of the undulating creature, translucent and now filling with a red shimmering fluid, causes her to hesitate in the chase.

“Vampire eel. Damn. That girl´s dead.”

If she concentrates, she can eavesdrop on the doctor, who gets a hold on the elusive creature´s head with quick, skilful moves.

“On the count of three”, he barks in his strange accent and then after counting “One. Two!” he pulls the eel off and tosses it back into the water. “Three. Up you go, then. Easy now. I´ve got you.”

A loud gasp for air is to be heard. The doctor half drags the sopping wet woman, as they run, leaving blood puddles behind. Iuno spins back into motion.

“I have to follow them! Catch the killer!”

The killer, who is just disappearing behind a gloomy street corner. When Iuno reaches the strange couple, the doctor is busy, seeing to the steadily oozing wound of the woman.

“The bleeding won´t stop. Damn”, he mumbles. He draws back with a look of displeasure and starts peeling off his gloves.

Iuno is torn between interrupting the hopeless attempt and witnessing the infamous arts of the doctor.

“Hold still.”

They don´t even notice their stunned observer.

“Deep breaths. This will only take a minute or two.

”Why are you helping me?”, the woman whispers. A pained groan follows. 

“She will live?!”, Iuno marvels. “How has he done it? Witchcraft?!”

“Shouldn´t I? You´re injured. Surely you don´t think I´ll let you bleed out on the street.”

“Ha! A noble murderer! How fascinating!”

Fascinating indeed. While the soft chatting continues, Iuno can make out a sudden glow radiating from under the skin of his throat. “A magical mark…”

Iuno is not familiar with that sort of magic.

“What in the Count´s name is going on?!” Time to intervene.

“Freeze!”, Iuno exclaims and sprints towards her prey. 

“Go, Octavia. You must leave me behind. It´s me they are looking for, not you.” With a weak gesture the doctor waves the woman off. 

Iuno decides to stay with the murderer. When the fleeing woman throws one last look over her shoulder, their eyes meet. “I will not forget you!”, Iuno shouts. Then she turns towards the doctor.

“As for you, doctor Devorak, I shall arrest you for the murder of… the murder…” For the first time the palace guard has a clear view on her target. Dumbstruck Iuno watches, as fresh blood blossoms under his clothing, his face a grimace of pain.

“A parting gift… Curse, to be more precise”, he explains with an exasperated sigh.

“You… How… Why?” The palace guard finds herself stuttering. She is not only confused by the expanding red glistering on the black and white cloths of the man before her. 

“I´m able to take away bodily wounds, as you can see.” Still not looking up, doctor Devorak directs his obvious self-disgust at his blood covered hands and clenches them into fists.

“And in return, I get to experience them for myself… ugh.”

Slender figure. Wild red locks. No eyepatch though, but there is no doubt. An almost forgotten memory overpowers the palace guard. Her fingers begin to tremble. That man. The wanted murderer of Count Lucio. She has met him before. 

“Damn!”, she curses under her breath.

The doctor sways forward, as blood is running freely down his torso now. “It won´t last. It never does”, he says more to himself than to the guard. “A curse from a witch that fears commitment.”

His face lightens up with a strange kind of bitter joy. “Then again, I´ve never been bitten by a vampire eel. This might be interesting.”

“Shut it, I´m not listening to such nonsense!”, Iuno orders. “What can we do against… this?”

She rushes to his side and helplessly presses her hands against the wound. The doctor blinks owlishly at Iuno.

“Eh…?”

“We need to stop the bleeding, right?”

With frantic moves, she fumbles a fine embroidered handkerchief out of her belt pocket.

“Here. I´m sorry. That´s all I´ve got.”

The doctor throws a slightly embarrassed side glance to the blood puddle forming under him on the cobble stones. “You´ve changed your tune. Don´t you want to arrest me anymore?”

The palace guard rolls her eyes. “Just tell me how to help!”

Iuno hears them coming a moment after he does. The Countess´s guards, doing rounds of the outer walls. Swiftly she ushers the wounded doctor into an ally nearby. They press against the wall to seek cover, involuntarily getting into each other´s personal space.

“This is ridiculous!”, hisses Iuno.

The moment the guards pass, they hold their breaths, hoping the well-trained eyes will slide over them in the darkness. This close, Iuno can see the pain painted on doctor Devorak´s face. His eye is fixed behind her, but as if he senses the gaze it moves to Iuno´s. For a moment they stare at each other.

“I… A-apologies…”

Just as he is about to say something else, they hear a thud from the entrance of the alley. “Not the time. Let´s go.”

Now it is the doctor, grabbing Iuno´s hand and tugging her out of the alley. They break into a run. The city passes them by in a blur as they evade capture, weaving around buildings with ease. They are moving so fast, Iuno almost misses it. There, nestled between two tall buildings… a garden. 

[inequilibrium]

this is really unasked for and i hope is not a burden and if it is im truly sorry but i need to talk to someone. In addition to it, i want to maybe warn you if you don´t want to read this ask im going to talk about mental health and concerns i have.[ ------ ]----- Lately i´ve been struggling with depression an anxiety, as it is; the main reason is because i couldnt find what i wanted to do with my life, or if its even worth it. Being honest i never wanted to board that issue, not even when (1)

everything is under a cut!

(2) i had to choose a major, and rn when im about to finish it i realized i messed up, i dont know what i want to do because my drive to keep studyind that major wasnt because i wanted to do that for life not even because i enjoyed it, i did it because it was ‘the right thing to do’ ‘something i always wanted’ and it kept me busy with the idea that at least i wasnt being lazy, i was doing something, my life had a meanig and a gold, for who? who knows (2)

(3) and now that i find myself finishing it, and i have to choose again something to specialize and get my degree i started thinking about why keep doing it, i dont want to get a job according to it, i dont even like it, i dont hate it either but i truly dont see myself doing anything related to it. And it hit me, really hard and it hurt so much, the fact that i actually trew away five and a half years of my life, thinkig it was the right thing to do and being unhappy, for what (3)

(4) i was avoiding the whole thing and i dont even know why, but the moment i found myself thinkig about where i wanted to go, getting a job and why i wanted to finsih my carreer; i realized that, because i wasnt brave enough to face my problems and reallity i could be stucked forever doing something i dont love, spending more and more of my time instead of actually investing it. I made a mistake and it felt really awful, how many more years was i going to be okay throwing away (4)

(5) and now im stucked on a different place, now i want to find something im willing to spend my life on but i cant think of anything. I havent fully forgive myself for acting the way i did, it really really hurt those 5 years of waste, and i dont want to keep loosing time that wont come back. I try to make peace in the sense that okay, theyre gone but im still young, theres so much more i can do; but is not easy. Ive been feelling so lost and hopeless. i want to have a reason, a purpose (5)

(6) i dont want to stay till but rn i cant find a reason to even get out of bed, why would i get up, get dressed, eat. If i dont have something i want to do or get, either acomplish; and the things i have at the moment i dont want them because even thinking about them makes sad each and every day. It sounds really bad since im on an advantageous position, i have health and i am abled but my mind doesnt let me go. I dont know what to do now, i know its a matter of picking again and (6)

(7) and start working but when i try to ask myself, i found a blank space. Its the worst ive been in years because even if i think of starting a new major, i got such a negative conception of college as an institution and experience, all the sadness ive been feeling, imprinted a lot of negative feelings to it; that now even going back just triggers my anxiety and depression. I really dont know what should i do, or if anything would even worth it. i think im not completely helpless since (7)

(8) im still willing to try, but my depression and self judgement peeps and i cant seem to get out of it. Now i dont even know what i like or enjoy, what im actually willing to do, or what is the right thing to do or even if i should finish this major in the mean time. There was a point where i wanted to stop trying. and even now, even if im willing to try i dont know towards what i should run. I wnat to think im doing better that the past days, at least i stopped crying all and judging and (8)

(9) blaming myself, but my appetite is still gone, and the things i used to enjoy just feel like a burden to me atm, listening to music, reading; i dont feel interest on doing it anymore, i stil get distracted and cant seem to concentrate. i dont know what to do, how does one fall back again on the track of life?. I dont wat to get stucked but im stucked right now. I want to try and think but my mind is messed up and blank, if the things, the small ones i ised to enjoy i cant seem to be able (9

(10) to even do them anymore, how am i supposed to find a purpose, a gold. something i like and am willing to invest my time on. I feel confused and sad. and i really dont know where to start. it was so sad when i found myself surrounded by people who seem to know what they wanted, or why they were doing that major, how it made them feel acomplished, i realized something was really wrong because wasnt even one bit excited. and it made me think, and blame myself to no end (10)

(11) im afraid of choosing again,messing up,being that wrong. But for more that i want to move on my mind wont let me,and i dont know anymore.[ ] Im really sorry for doing this, and by no means i want to give my problems to someone else, i dont intent to load anything on anyone i just needed to talk to somebody,we dont know eachother but i dont feel like you are a complete stranger to me since ive been following your blog and i read about what you share,talk and write,for quite sometime now(11)

(12) im truly truly sorry,

okay firstly, never say sorry for feelings and for wanting to express them. you’re always allowed to feel.

i don’t know why you picked me to share this with but i’m honoured.

i’m not the best at advice, i think i’ve made too many mistakes in life to really know anything about what’s going on. but i do know one thing, the major you choose, any choice you make, that doesn’t have to be the be all and end all of things. there’s always another road, a way to make a u-turn, and a way to rectify things.

there’s nothing wrong with not knowing where to go next or what to do or even why you chose the major you did. it’s a little unfair of the world to expect young people to know what they’re doing when sometimes even people who have lived far longer lifetimes seem to just be faking it, isn’t it?

when i graduated college, it was with a science degree, because back then, i liked science and i was good at it. unfortunately, by about a year before graduation, i already knew i never wanted to go near a science lab or a science book ever again. by then, it was too late to change. so, i made a different choice when looking for a job, and in a roundabout way, i’m now in mass communications; a writing job. exactly what college-me didn’t know i wanted.

it’s okay to be stuck and not know what to do, no one ever knows, that’s the beauty of life, we’re all making it up as we go along.

take a first step, just…maybe see what’s out there, what you can do, what you want to do. look for what they’re looking for, if maybe it’s general enough that you fulfil the criteria. i don’t know what major you have right now, but i think many jobs don’t necessarily need a very specific degree, they just need a certain level of education. then you gotta take the leap, and try.

easier said than done, i know. but i believe you can.

no one ever makes perfect choices, that’s why there’s chances in every stage of life to make a u-turn. if you’re wrong, it’s okay, what matters is you try to fix it. and i think you have a heart to do that, even if it’s a little bit harder right now.

and that’s my attempt at advice ahhh. i hope it helped a bit but please disregard everyTHING if it didn’t. i hope it gets easier as time goes by, and i hope you find a road and opportunities that will help. (msg me offanon if you want tho)