#ahhfdggff

[sheerioswifties]

Hello all. I've been trying to figure out a good way of saying some things I wanna say and haven't been able to (so much is going on that like when I get on here and actually try to type legible text posts my brain just goes blank) so I just want to throw a quick little something into my queue. Mainly what I want to say is I'm sorry. To anyone that I may have inadvertently hurt or offended in any way at any time or, idk, I just, I'm very sorry. I never want to bother anyone or even be negative on here. Yes I have a sassy side and a sarcastic side, and sometimes I playfully troll or tease my friends, however I've found that those things don't translate so well on this kind of platform so it can come across as serious dissing or worse when that was never the intention, so again, I apologize, and I'm going to try and keep the sass/sarcasm/teasing to real life instead of on here so as not to risk accidentally hurting someone. I hope you all know I really, really never want any of you to ever feel hurt or let down or attacked or offended by anyone. I guess that's the other thing is while I'm so used to being put down myself in real life (abusive mother etc), that I don't really respond here to attacks at myself however if a friend of mine is getting heat, my big sister protective mode kicks in and that's when I might say things in defense. Or even just that I know how pain feels on so many levels I don't want others to ever feel it so if I hear my friends are hurting, crying, etc, then I get heated and want to do something... "she builds others up because she knows what it's like to be torn down" is like the quote I feel deeply. Anyways I feel like this is going all over the place, sorry. Also it's getting long, ugh I'm sorry, every time I try to write a quick personal note it ends up long I guess that's the writer in me I don't know. I'll try to wrap this up. Just please, everyone and anyone, hear that I'm apologizing. And if there's anyone out there bothered by anything I've ever said or done, please come talk to me about it. It might be a huge misunderstanding, even on my part, and if that's ever the case I want to hear you, I want to understand. And I'll gladly change anything I've done or do if it's bothersome. I only want to be a positive presence here. Yes it's hard considering how crazy my life is and how much pain I'm in, I bottle everything up and sometimes I explode because I haven't vented but I don't want that happening here. And sometimes I'll be like the animal that's normally kind and sweet but then if it gets a thorn in its paw and is in pain, it snaps and bites and you know what I mean? Like that's the best way I can explain it. High pain times make me extra on edge. And I mean we all say things we don't mean at times. I'm just always wanting to work on myself and grow and weed out those things so I'm trying I really am and just again I'm very sorry for any time I've snapped or lashed out, there's like a 99.999% chance it had nothing to do with anything here and was because I was in pain and venting. I need to find a good place like a field or something that I can go to to just scream and cry and vent it out because I don't like I can't ever really properly vent I really have to keep everything inside and I won't lie it's a huge weight. Ugh I'm rambling on too long again I'm sorry. Anyways I just really, sincerely wanted to extend my apologies out and again invite anyone who wants to talk about an issue to come talk to me. I won't be defensive or mean, I always listen and try to see the other side and reasons and everything. So just once again, I'm sorry. I love you guys. Xo