#ah yes the age old dilemma: which and how many tags do i use

[binah-beloved]

True Light

Binah x Reader Lobotomy Corp. Pronouns: Gender Neutral Warnings: Small mentions of blood/injuries and death

~ * ~

Light cannot shine through the dark, for the whims of the City will swallow it whole. Not that Binah particularly cared, of course. The struggles of others had never caught her interest, both before and after being confined to the blackened depths of the world. She took a smug sense of pride in being stagnant, the only unchanging one amongst her coworkers; this wretched facility doing nothing to dampen her cold and sadistic tendencies- small delights was what she called them, watching all the misery with a twisted smirk. Her time was spent as usual- in the company of solitude and black tea, only now it was punctuated by the perpetual mechanical hum of the Extraction Department, and just as before she embraced the days in the suffocating darkness, alone and silent. Yet somehow, a spark manages to worm its way into her ashen world, floating in on the wind and making a new home amongst the monochromatic tones. Each department receives a new batch of employees every few months or so. The Manager calls it “refreshing the roster”- Binah calls it “replacing the corpses”. Rarely does she pay much attention to these rotations, what’s the point? They’re all shrouded in gray, living only to suffer and cry and go mad like the rest, then slowly crumble and fall into the endless well below, an infinite supply of gravestones. So when the next group of agents and clerks arrive, she merely gives them a customary glance of boredom out of the corner of her eye. Something flashes suddenly, brilliantly, and her head snaps back up to catch sight of it, that brightly sparkling thing. But she sees only the uniforms of her employees, all outfitted in simple black fabric as they walk towards the department lobby, chattering nervously at each other. For the first time in a long while, Binah feels vaguely disappointed. She catches glimpses of the shining presence occasionally, always in the peripheral of her vision and always fleeting, never long enough. It’s almost frustrating; infuriating, even- perhaps her long months of isolation have finally driven her mad, it would be a welcome change from the perpetual, apathetic torment. With an exhale and a sip of her tea she answers some employee-or-another’s question, expression as stoic and cold as ever despite the nagging irritation. “You’re a star, Miss Binah!” The Sephirah looks over briefly, and her eyes widen as you practically glow before her. Physically, you’re no different from the other workers- you don’t radiate any light or glimmer with luminescence- and yet you still brighten up any room you enter, somehow. Exuding an air of determination, you’re firmly set in your ways of helping others and working diligently despite the less than ideal circumstances, a smile on your lips and a spring in your step wherever you go. You don’t look like light- you feel like light. And not that cold, heavy stuff generating in the facility- warm, friendly, comforting. It’s no wonder your fellow agents have taken a liking to you, but perhaps the most surprising revelation of all is when you extend this warmth to Binah herself. You’re a star… The words have lingered in her mind ever since. Your superior was rumored to be emotionless, a sadist who only took joy in the suffering of others, so when you can’t help but wonder if something’s wrong when you see her appear in the main rooms of the department more often, silently watching everyone work and always with that calm, neutral expression. In truth, she’s only really watching you, quietly picking up on your habits with a growing sense of intrigue. Interest… Binah hadn’t felt such a thing for so long. It felt… nice. She sees how you treat everybody with that same kindness, offering a shoulder for them to lean against. She sees how you study medical procedures in your spare time, as there is no end to bloodied wounds at Lobotomy Corporation. She sees how you idly tap your pen when you’re thinking, looking up at the ceiling, your brow furrowed in thought.

She sees how you pay respects to every lost agent and clerk, quietly mourning for them as if they were actually worth something. Perhaps, she muses, they are worth something, and she just never saw it. Well- you, at least, are certainly worth something. Slowly, the spark that landed bleeds into the rest of her world, and Binah sees color, gold and silver and crimson red. The sky becomes speckled with a multitude of stars, the darkness of Extraction standing out in splashes of deep hues as the night brightens, just slightly, with a hint of light. Light. Yes, that’s what you are. Light. Her light. One morning, early enough for frost to linger in the air, you find a steaming hot cup on your desk- tea, black, flavored just how you’d like it. A hand, firm yet strangely tentative, settles on your shoulder as you curiously approach, your Sephirah finally responding to your statement from months ago. “If I am a star, then you are a fragile flower, struggling to bloom in the wastes. And yet… I don’t wish to see you wither.”

[lettheladylead]

Not Your Aunt

Chapter 1: Donald

[ao3 link]

She was nobody’s aunt.

Well, maybe she was once, but she’d lost touch with her family decades earlier and they were long dead by the time she arrived at this new, unfounded dilemma.

When she’d first come across her rival-with-benefits carrying around two little kids, her initial reaction was a twinge of angry jealousy. Maybe they weren’t exclusive but come on! Kids? A family? Seriously? Then it hit her that these kids were at least eleven or twelve (or eight or sixteen, who knew how kids aged) and she’d last visited Scrooge just a few years prior. So the jealousy dissipated and was replaced with pure confusion.

“They’re Hortense’s kids,” he’d said succinctly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. They didn’t look that much like Hortense, though Goldie had only met the woman once.

“So what is this, then? Babysitting?”

Scrooge laughed in a way that pissed her off the tiniest bit. “No, no. Hortense and her husband just decided to take a wee trip for themselves is all.”

“...so you’re babysitting,” she’d said with a hand on her hip. Why couldn’t he just answer her questions with a yes or a no? She didn’t need all the extra details. Him blabbing on with unnecessary detail was the whole reason she knew more about his family than she did her own.

“Ack, call it what you will!”

The 1990s was an odd decade for her. Just a few years earlier, Scrooge had personally invited her to his home for the very first time and she thought something was going to come of that. Of course, nothing did. Then he started bringing children with him on his adventures, the adventures she used to tag along on - out of all his attempts over the years, it was the most effective way to keep her from following him. She didn’t want to hang out with kids, lower their excursions to a PG-rating and split treasure four ways instead of two.

Unfortunately, old habits die hard, and she did find herself spending time with the twins every now and again. They didn’t seem to understand her any better than their uncle did, and she didn’t understand them at all. They were loud and rambunctious and very different from one another and very different from Scrooge. Della was overly enthusiastic and kept trying to jump headfirst into danger. Donald clearly didn’t want to be out and about - Goldie had the distinct feeling he just wanted to sit in his room and play guitar. She liked that he had an appreciation for music.

He also seemed to appreciate having another adult around on dangerous adventures, what with the way he’d grab her arm or try to hide behind her when things got tough. Goldie found it very, very annoying, but it’d be even more annoying to shove him away and deal with that aftermath. So on a particular adventure in the Middle East - one where she’d legitimately accidentally come across Scrooge and his family while she was hunting the same treasure - she let him grab while Scrooge and Della forged ahead and ignored the boy’s discomfort.

She watched Scrooge talking so animatedly with the young girl and felt her own discomfort creeping in. She'd only just started to accept the fact that he was turning into a family man. But there were some obvious concerns with that realization. Particularly the fact that family men didn’t want to spend time with women like her. Family men wanted a wife.

“Miss Goldie?”

She looked down at the boy who’d finally let go of her arm, but was awkwardly trying to walk at the exact same speed as her while trying to look casual about it. “Hm?”

“Are you gonna come back to the manor with us this time?”

She blinked, surprised by the question. “Um...probably not.”

“Why not?”

“...why would I?”

Donald frowned. “Uncle Scrooge always gets sad when you leave. Didn’t he ask you to come over?”

“Oh, please. Scrooge would never purposefully invite me into his home.” She didn’t count the Christmas party. She let her expectations get ahead of her that night when he was just inviting everyone he knew and didn’t want to exclude her. It didn’t count.

“Why? ‘Cause you’ll steal stuff?”

“Seems like a good enough reason to me.” She shrugged and stared at the back of Scrooge’s head. “He’s pretty protective of all his priceless junk, you know.”

The kid stayed silent for a few moments and Goldie thought she was in the clear from this odd little conversation, but then he was back with more. “It’s just kinda weird.”

“...hm?” she mumbled while taking a drink from the canteen she’d stolen from Scrooge two decades earlier.

“I mean, like...you’re basically our aunt, right?”

What a waste of water. Goldie’s nice, clean water that she’d collected for herself before this adventure started, and now it’d been dramatically spit all over the ground, almost hitting Scrooge and his niece. But in her defense, there was no way in the world she could’ve seen that question coming. None. Nada. Zip.

Donald looked exceptionally concerned as she coughed and sputtered and slammed her fist against her chest a few times. Scrooge and Della even turned to see what was going on.

Goldie just shook her head at them and Scrooge immediately turned back around while Della gave the older woman a suspicious glare before joining him.

As soon as her voice came back to her, she pointed an aggressive finger in Donald’s face. “I am absolutely not your aunt, not even close, not even a little bit. Never,” she said quietly but angrily, not wanting Scrooge to hear this embarrassing conversation. “I am just some lady you know that likes to piss off your uncle, got it?”

Donald made a face that said the-lady-doth-protest-too-much but shrugged and went back to being silent. They still had another mile to walk through this forest before they reached the supposed location of the Temple of Nanna, which Della was particularly excited about because why wouldn’t she be? She wasn’t afraid of all the snakes they’d seen and she didn’t wonder if there were any apex predators waiting to eat them and she wasn’t paranoid about falling off a ledge and respawning back at the beginning again. Er, well. Yeah.

He shook his head and looked up at Goldie. She didn’t seem afraid of any of that stuff, either. Why did TV shows always make girls seem so frail and scared when every girl he knew was tougher and braver than him? It seemed kind of unfair. But maybe their family was just weird.

Goldie caught him staring at her and glared as if she was about to yell at him about mentally referring to her as family. He turned his attention forward to stare at the back of Della’s head instead. Then he turned to look at Uncle Scrooge, who was talking about the god of the ziggurat they were going to and how he impacted the people who used to live there.

He peeked up at Goldie again and noticed her staring at Scrooge and looking...weirdly sad. Like she was bored and didn’t expect to be. He considered saying something to her when he heard a hissing sound to his left and immediately screeched and jumped up, wrapping his arms around Goldie’s neck.

“AUNT GOLDIE HELP MEEEEEE!”

On reflex, Goldie did hold onto the kid and kick the tiny little baby snake away from them, but she looked very pissed off.

Scrooge and Della stared at them and Scrooge was blushing quite a bit while Donald’s words processed in his head. “...Aunt?”

“What did I just say?!” Goldie angry-whispered at the boy in her arms.

Donald’s eyes watered and he frowned. “I-I’m sorry, I just got really scared, and-”

As he spoke, Goldie accidentally looked up and made eye contact with Scrooge, who looked somewhere between excited and flattered and confused and maybe even a bit disturbed. His look made her heart do a backflip and she felt her brain deflate as she tried to think of what to say or do next. Aunt, wife, family...it was a bit too much for her. She tugged Donald’s arms off of her and roughly threw him at Scrooge, who caught him with relative ease.

“I’m done with this,” Goldie muttered in annoyance. She could see Scrooge was about to comment and ask what she meant by that, but then she quickly zipped past him in the direction of the temple, tired of going slow so the kids could keep up. She wasn’t in the mood for family-friendly adventures and she was barely in the mood for Scrooge-friendly adventures anymore.

Scrooge scoffed as she ran on ahead. “Goldie you no-good, greedy-!!!” he shouted, shaking a fist as he put Donald back down. “Ack, I’m sorry, kids. I thought she and I were in a good place right now, but it seems I misjudged.”

“She always does this, Uncle Scrooge!” Della crossed her arms over her chest. “I just don’t get why you let her come along!”

He chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. “Ah...it’s hard to explain. We have a lot of history.” Scrooge glanced at Donald, who looked uncomfortably sad. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he blamed himself for Goldie leaving them. He put a hand on the boy’s head and hoped it was at least a little comforting. “She always finds a reason to leave me behind, but I’m glad I’ve got you two with me this time!”

Della rolled her eyes and Donald just shrugged. Scrooge had a feeling they needed a distraction, since they were bound to run into Goldie again when they reached the temple. “Let me just grab the map and we’ll continue on our way……………..”

Scrooge patted at his pocket that he knew the map was in. Then he patted at his other pockets. Then he took off his hat and reached into it, checking the many pockets in there. Empty. Which could only mean one thing...

“GOLDIE!!!!” he shouted suddenly, scaring the twins and making animals scatter away from them.

Goldie, sweaty and out-of-breath and just a few feet from the temple entrance, smirked at the sound of Scrooge’s scream. She pulled out the map and looked up to make sure she was using the right entrance to avoid booby traps. She almost laughed at the thought of Scrooge having to navigate his way through spikes and arrows.

Then she thought about Donald’s stupid little face and the way he looked at her when he called her aunt and she felt an angry betraying twinge in her heart. She sighed in frustration before grabbing a knife out of her pocket and carving a checkmark into the entranceway that she knew was safe. It wasn’t the kid’s fault that Scrooge was dragging him on dangerous adventures. She’d be nice. Just this once.

[janeykath318]

The Friendly Merman 9/13

Jim wasn't the only one who found the winter to go by far too slowly for liking. Leah McCoy and Joanna were missing their blue-eyed Merman more and more everyday. Jo was crossing off days on the calendar, counting down each one before April.

“Mom, what do you think Jim's doing right now?” She asked one November evening while toiling through her homework.

“Probably frolicking in the nice warm tropical oceans, catching fish and playing with his friends.” Leah told her, an envious twinge inside her imagining Jim surrounded by mermaids.

“Do you think he misses us?” Jo asked plaintively.

“Course he does. He said so himself, don't you remember?”

“Yeah, but what if he stops missing us?”

Leah had had that thought as well, but then she'd remembered the look in his eyes as he'd said good-bye and the necklace he'd given her and refused to admit the possibility.

“I don't think so, sweetie. Mermen are very loyal to their friends. Spock told me so. He said many of their former patients stop by every year like clockwork to say hi. They don't forget.”

Joanna still looked skeptical, but subsided for the moment. That night, Leah ran her hand over the sea glass necklace, willing Jim to return home in one piece. She had no idea why she’d even entertain the idea of loving a creature that lived in the ocean and probably wasn’t compatible with humans, but it was too late now.

Meanwhile, Jim was taking a rare trip outside the cave to visit the great sage, Jonathan Archer. He was said to be an expert at Mer/human dynamics and could possibly provide an answer to Jim’s dilemma of what to do about his love for the amazing Dr. McCoy. After his encounter with Gary, he’d avoided going into the main mer population, hanging out in smaller taverns or shops on the edge of town when he wasn’t with his pod. There was no way he wanted to risk meeting up with anyone else in his pod, especially his close relations.

When he’d told Pike where he was going, the old mer had perked up and put down the scroll he was reading.

“You mind me tagging along? Archer’s an old pal and I haven’t seen him in a turtle’s age.”

Jim had shrugged and agreed. At least he’d have support if he ran into....certain mers again and he was never averse to Pike’s company. The man seemed to understand him better than he did himself.

Venturing through many side streets and narrow passages, the two of them at last reached the towering stone building that housed the mer archive and library along with the keeper’s offices. Jim gaped in awe as he had never in his life seen such a large structure. How in the world would he find his way to Archer’s office?

“They’ve got maps all over the place, son,” Pike informed him, “but you won’t need them because I’m pretty sure Jon’s got the same office he did when I last visited a decade ago. He is most definitely a creature of habit and somewhat set in his ways.”

“Lead the way, then,” Jim offered with a sweeping arm gesture.

As they swam through the maze of halls, Jim was distracted by the shelves and shelves of scrolls and manuscripts of mer literature and history.

“Wow! This is far more interesting than the Sea Turtle roping contests and drinking games,” Jim said eagerly. He was very fond of study and learning, though he’d had little time to do so during his solitary journeys after leaving his old pod. He followed Pike down a curving stair and down another hall which led to an arched doorway, over which hung a sign proclaiming “J. ARCHER, Chief archivist.”

At Pike’s knock, a silver-haired mer appeared, looking ink-stained and disheveled.

“How can I help you gentlemers today?” He asked, than his face lit up when he recognized Pike. “Christopher! What a surprise! What brings you all the way down here after such a long absence? Training a young apprentice?”

“He’s already becoming quite the pod leader in his own right,” Pike said, shaking Archer’s hand. “Good to see you again, Jon. This is James Kirk and he has some questions for you.”

“Pleased to meet you, young man,” Archer said genially. Jim noticed with relief he showed no reaction to the Kirk name. “What do you seek assistance with?”

Jim started and stopped a few times before he blurted out, “I wish to understand if it is possible for a mer to bond with a human or if the relationship is doomed.”

Archer didn’t look fazed at all by Jim’s query, beckoning the two to have a seat in his office.

“Ah, yes, that is not an uncommon question and you may be surprised that no, the relationship is not necessarily doomed, but it requires a deep love and sacrifice. Mere surface lust will not suffice. Yes, mers have bonded with humans. Have you become enamored of a human?”

“Yes,” Jim said, face turning red. “But I don’t see how we could ever be together.”

“James, there is a way--but very few choose to take it as it requires a drastic lifestyle change and giving up one’s ocean life.”

“I thought it was something like that. How drastic are you talking?” he asked cautiously.

“If a human/mer emotional bond is strong enough, the mer becomes human in order to allow for the physical bond. Many mers do not handle the change well and end up living shorter lives as a result, much as they love their mates. That is why it is such a serious thing to engage in such a bond. I urge you to spend time in contemplation and careful self-examination before you decide on such a course. Do you love the person enough to give up your mer body and live on land, with a shorter lifespan? Do you have any plans for how you would adjust to human life? Those are the questions only you can answer, my son.”

Pike gave Jim a searching look as the young mer sat processing this information.

“Do you know of any Mers who have turned human and didn’t regret it?” Jim asked after this pause.

“Several, actually, but like I said, it required a strong connection.”

“Well, I have all winter to think about it. I won’t see her again until we migrate back to California in the Spring,” Jim sighed. “I don’t think it would be that bad being a human, being that most mer think I’m a bad omen. If it wasn’t for Chris, I would still be on my own.”

Archer looked at him sympathetically. “Ah, yes, the supposed Kirk curse. Stuff and nonsense, if you ask me. Kirk men have a self-sacrificial tendency that comes from their high character and deep bond attachment. I’d say if you also have these traits, choosing to become human would not surprise me at all. She must be a very special lady.”

“She is,” Jim smiled, thinking about Bones’s many endearing traits. Pike and Archer spent some time catching up and reminiscing before they left, but Jim was quiet all the way home, thankful that he understood the stakes now, but knowing deep in his heart what he was going to choose.